Empowered Through Compassion: EMDR and IFS Informed Therapy

It was an absolute pleasure speaking with Julian Bermudez, founder of Psychedelic Integration, about his deeply personal and powerful approach to healing. In this episode, Julian shares his philosophy of psychedelic integration as a sacred return—a coming home to the body, to the heart, and to the version of ourselves that existed before life's pain forced us to adapt. Through his lived experience and the space he holds for others, Julian invites us to see integration not as a checklist, but as a living, breathing practice of transformation. We explore the idea of purpose, reclaiming value, and the path to remembering who we truly are.

I'm excited to share the latest episode of the Empowered Through Compassion podcast: Part 2 of my conversation with Sid Friedman. In this episode, we delve deeper into Sid's innovative approach to Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and his exploration of nonduality. Sid discusses his YouTube channel, Effortless IFS with Sid Friedman, where he offers insights into integrating IFS with nondual awareness. You can explore his videos here: Effortless IFS with Sid Friedman. We also talk about the vibrant online community Sid co-created with Dr. Laura Patryas: the IFS Nondual Community on Facebook. This group serves as a supportive space for individuals interested in the intersection of IFS and nonduality. You can find the community here: IFS Nondual Community. Throughout our conversation, we reflect on the joy of discussing IFS, the importance of connecting with others. We speak aboutn embracing the innocence and beauty of all parts.​ Sid has so much wisdom, and he shares how healing and transformation are accessible through gentle, playful, and profound engagement with our inner world. ​For a fun exploration and brilliant analysis of movie clips, check out: https://effortlessifs.com/movie-clips/.

This episode is part 1 of a beautiful conversation with my dear friend Sid Friedman. Sid-- along with Laura Patryas-- have created an incredible IFS Facebook community called "IFS Nondual Community." Sid shares with me, and the audience, what is meant by nonduality, and how this intersects with IFS. We also speak about NVC-- Nonviolent Communication, and I learn what a pro Sid is in this type of communication! This was such a fun and enjoyable episode-- to Sid, it feels like life is such a celebration, and he really is able to acknowledge the beauty with all of our PARTs. Indeed, how can you have a PARTY without PART? Together, we reflect on what it means to embrace kindness and compassion in our lives, and how we both draw inspiration from the wisdom of Mr. Rogers, John Lennon, the Dalai Lama, and Thich Nhat Hanh (no name a few of our shared heroes).  I invite you on this glorious ride with Sid, and if you want more-- more will be coming very soon (stay tuned for part 2 of our conversation)! 

Families Overcoming Trauma – This Is Us NBC's This Is Us has resonated deeply with audiences, largely because of its heartfelt portrayal of family, trauma, and healing. The show masterfully illustrates how each family member carries their own pain while remaining connected through love, resilience, and acceptance. It reminds us that healing isn't about erasing the past—it's about learning to live with it, together. In this episode, I had the honor of speaking with Laura DeKraker Lang-Ree, whose journey is a testament to this very idea. When her daughter, Cecilia, was diagnosed with childhood leukemia at just three years old, Laura searched for guidance—a book, an expert, a roadmap. When she realized that no such book existed, she wrote it herself: The Cancer Parent's Handbook: What Your Oncologist Doesn't Have Time to Tell You. Through her experience, she uncovered the tools and insights necessary not just to survive, but to thrive during an overwhelming and terrifying time. As Laura and I reflected on This Is Us, we found so many parallels between the Pearson family's story and her own. The show depicts the way trauma weaves itself into the fabric of a family, shaping identities and relationships in unexpected ways. It also highlights the power of connection—how, even through grief, loss, and struggle, love can be an anchor. Trauma and the Nonlinear Journey of Healing One of the most powerful elements of This Is Us is its nonlinear storytelling. Much like real-life healing, the past continuously intrudes on the present. The audience is transported through different points in time, seeing how early wounds manifest in adult struggles. We watch as Kevin searches for love and self-worth, Randall seeks meaning in his biological roots, and Kate finds healing through music and motherhood. Their journeys are messy, imperfect, and deeply human. At the heart of the series is a pivotal moment—the loss of Jack Pearson, the beloved yet flawed father figure. The show builds up to this revelation, allowing us to witness how his absence shapes each family member in distinct yet connected ways. In a similar way, families facing trauma must navigate their own nonlinear paths, piecing together meaning and strength as they go. Holding Space for Pain and Hope EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that has three prongs of healing-- the past, the present, and the future. This Is Us reflects this process beautifully, showing how the past and present exist simultaneously, influencing each other in ways we don't always recognize-- impacting the future as well. Laura's story is a profound example of how trauma and hope can coexist. While no parent would ever choose the experience of childhood cancer, Laura chose how her family's story would be written. She didn't deny the pain, but she also didn't let it define their lives. Instead, she created moments of normalcy, love, and connection amid the fear. Defining Our Narrative The final season of This Is Us centers around the decline of Rebecca's health, bringing the family together once more in the face of loss. Yet, rather than being consumed by grief, they embrace their love for one another. It is in these moments—where vulnerability is met with compassion—that true healing and connection happens. This is the lesson Laura embodies: even in heartbreak, loss, and tragedy, life doesn't have to be only about pain. Life can be about something so much more. We can hold space for both sorrow and joy. We can choose to show up, to embrace imperfection, and to construct the narrative that we want to-- one that is rooted in love and family connection. Trauma can break us, or it can unite us. The powerful and aligned message of both Laura's journey and This Is Us is this: we can walk through whatever life brings us with magnanimity, with courage, and with hope. And at some point, I promise, our heartfelt laughs will be there as well! For more information on Laura, visit lauradekrakerlangreebook.com or follow her on Instagram at @laura_dekraker_langree.

Welcome to this episode, where I am thrilled to be speaking with Athena Phillips about dissociation, the difference between coaching and therapy, and Back to the Future.  Athena shares how IFS and EMDR can be complementary, but caution is needed when using EMDR with dissociative clients. Coaching and therapy have distinct roles, and in her business Athena has found a very symbiotic relationship between coaches and therapist for clients.  We speak about Back to the Future, and some of the ways this movie represents trauma healing. We even bring in current world events, and how societal disconnection reflects challenging but potentially transformative period of collective growth. Enjoy this wonderful episode, and if you would like to find out more information on Athena, check out her company here: https://traumacenternw.com/  

Therapist Burnout – A Systemic Issue, Not a Personal Failure  

A re-uploaded version. Welcome to this new episode. I had the pleasure of speaking with Ned Johnson, a wonderful educator, author, and speaker. He is an expert in helping teens and tweens navigate the transition to adulthood, by bringing them the tools they need to be both successful and happy.  Ned has found that some of the leading causes of poor test performance is the stress and pressure that youths feel to get good grades, and perform well. What is the solution? Can the solution really be as simple as helping youth feel connected, getting them to appreciate their inherent self-worth, and having more fun? Check out this episode to hear some of Ned's insights into this important and fascinating topic! Check out Ned's amazing services at PrepMatters Check out Ned's wonderful Podcast "PrepTalks" here Find Ned's books here

Welcome to this new episode. I had the pleasure of speaking with Ned Johnson, a wonderful educator, author, and speaker. He is an expert in helping teens and tweens navigate the transition to adulthood, by bringing them the tools they need to be both successful and happy.  Ned has found that some of the leading causes of poor test performance is the stress and pressure that youths feel to get good grades, and perform well. What is the solution? Can the solution really be as simple as helping youth feel connected, getting them to appreciate their inherent self-worth, and having more fun? Check out this episode to hear some of Ned's insights into this important and fascinating topic! Check out Ned's amazing services at PrepMatters Check out Ned's wonderful Podcast "PrepTalks" here Find Ned's books here

I had the honor of sitting down with the Jan Broberg on my podcast. We spoke about her powerful story, the real-life events behind Peacock's hit series A Friend of the Family, and how she turned unimaginable trauma into a message of hope, resilience, and healing. Jan's spirit is inspiring, as she uses her voice and story to encourage others to tell theirs. This episode shows how light can come from darkness. You can watch A Friend of the Family on Peacock. For more information, check out https://thejanbrobergfoundation.org/ Here you can find her amazing podcast: https://thejanbrobergfoundation.org/podcast/ Find out more about her retreats: https://liveinthe90.com/     #JanBroberg #AFriendOfTheFamily #Podcast #Healing #Resilience #TraumaRecovery #Peacock  

It was a pleasure to speak with Rebecca Kase this week on EMDR, Polyvagal and Parts work. She had so many interesting things to share, and I hope you enjoy this episode.   Warmly, David   Find out more about Rebecca here:   https://www.rebeccakase.com/   https://www.traumatherapistinstitute.com/   You can find her book here:      Books by Rebecca Kase              

Here is my second upload for this episode. My AI attempts were not successful, so I edited this one myself. Sorry for any confusion.   It was such a pleasure to speak with Victoria Anderson, a friend and classmate from IFS-Level one training. We speak about our experience, and then we compare it to... yep, the Squid Game. Luckily our experience was nothing like the Squid Game, except for some nerves when we started the class.  We speak about some of the parts (that we are constructing) inside some of the fictional characters of Squid Game. If you want to find out more about Victoria, please check out her website at: https://www.centeredselftraumatherapy.com/   Warmly, David

Welcome to Season 2 of Empowered through Compassion! In 2025, I am trying something new. We will be exploring Pop Culture, and some of the incredible movies and TV shows that are being created these days. I want to look at these shows and see how we can view them through a psychological mindset. I met Victoria Anderson when we both met in IFS Level 1 training, and became friends. If you want to find out more about Victoria, here is her website: https://www.centeredselftraumatherapy.com/ We speak about Squid Games, and explore some of the traumatic themes of the series (Season 1 and Season 2).  I hope you enjoy this new episode as much as I enjoy sharing it with you!    

In this episode, Andrew Dobo joins me to speak about EMDR, the Hero's journey and Jung. It was such an honor to have a conversation with Andrew who is a well respected EMDR trainer and an accomplished author.  His books include, "The Hero's Journey: Integrating Jungian Psychology and EMDR Therapy" and, "Unburdening Souls at the Speed of Thought: Psychology, Christianity, and the Transforming Power of EMDR." Check out Andrew Dobo's Youtube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/@drandrewdobo He is the founder of EMDR Trainers. Find out more about this organization here: https://emdreducators.com  He has so much wisdom to share, and his passion for EMDR really comes through in this conversation!  

It was such an honor to speak with Sandra Paulsen, and to learn from her wisdom. In the podcast, Sandra shared how she went to see a traditional healer, known as a Songoma. This healer turned to Sandra and said, "Why come see me? You are Songoma too!" We dive into EMDR, and Sandra even shares some of her thoughts on IFS therapy. Sandra shared how she definitely uses parts work, but sees this through the lens of Ego States. We speak about some of Sandra's amazing books, which include: "When There Are No Words: Repairing Early Trauma and Neglect From the Attachment Period With EMDR Therapy" "Looking Through The Eyes of Trauma and Dissociation: An Illustrated Guide for EMDR Therapists and Clients" "The Beauty and Burden of Autism: Illustrated Guide and Workbook in Color" "Neurobiology and Treatment of Traumatic Dissociation: Towards an Embodied Self" "Indigenous Trauma and Dissociation: Healers, Psychotherapies and the Drum" Of course, we also speak about the incredible cartoons and art of Sandra that are throughout her informative and beautiful books! You can find out more about Sandra Paulsen on her website at: www.paulsenpsychology.com  Check out Sandra's Etsy's shop at: www.etsy.com/shop/SandraPaulsenPhDArt         

On this episode we are speaking with Thomas Zimmerman, Ms.Ed., LPCC, is a mental health therapist who practices in the Cleveland, Ohio, area. He is an EMDR therapist, consultant and trainer. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapist, consultant, and trainer. He is a writer, podcaster as well. Check out his new book, "EMDR with Complex Trauma" on Amazon. Check out his Podcast here: www.emdrpodcast.com   Here is his website: www.emdrtom.com  Here is his facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/EMDRResources We also speak about Thomas' brilliant 4 blink method of Flash. This is based on an intervention created by Philip Manfield, and you can find out more about Philip on his website:  www.philipmanfield.com   

Episode 51: Deconstructing Wicked with EMDR and Parts Welcome, and Happy Thanksgiving.  My guest is Dr. Jamie Marich, and we had so much fun "nerding out" over the Wicked movie together! This was such a wonderful and enriching experience for me. Here are places you can find more information about Dr. Marich: www.redefinetherapy.com www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com www.jamiemarich.com You can also check out Jamie's Substack: https://jamiemarich.substack.com This will also be on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_Y4OyAxciY Enjoy. With Peace and Compassion, David       

What an honor to speak with Nkem Ndefo today!  I wanted to post this right away, because we are speaking about the election, and Nkem was very helpful in helping me take a step back and see a bigger picture of the election. I found it very profound when Nkem spoke about their vision for liberation of all. Their organization's vision is: "rooted in justice and flourishing in joy."  We spoke about the important question we can ask ourselves "where is my political home?" As we spoke about politics and healing, our conversation turned to how we all play roles (or could have a role) in social change. Here was a beautiful intersection with IFS! Nkem spoke about some of the ways that they have helped facilitate change on large scales within hospitals, and also schools!  To find out more about Nkem, you can go to: www.lumostransforms.com I hope this episode can bring you a little peace and hope.  

Welcome to this special episode. Today, I am joined by 8 incredible EMDR influencers (together we have 6 podcasts and multiple Youtube channels between us).   The esteemed guests: 1) Rotem Brayer 2) Thomas Zimmerman  3) Jennifer Savage and Bridger Falkentien 4) Kyle Poon 5)Tamera Brown and Kathy Couch 6) Rebecca Kase   Spotify links-- The Art and Science of EMDR The EMDR Podcast Notice That Journey through the Eyes Thrive the Podcast   You Tube-- Calm with Kyle   I want to extend love and appreciation to my guests, and also to you, the audience. We are all on an incredible journey, and it is beautiful when our journeys are able to intersect!  

What a pleasure it was to speak with Arielle Schwartz for this episode. I learned so much, and I am honored to share this with everyone. We speak about some of the ways that she has changed the field! After listening to this episode, you are going to want to become part of her growing community too!

Five Podcasters got together, and had a blast speaking about IFS (live)! They all have their own podcast-- including, The One Inside, Growing Faithfully, That Wellness Podcast, Healing Trauma From the Inside Out, and Empowered Through Compassion. What a beautiful group of podcasts. It was such a wonderful get together and share some "Self-energy" with each other and with the audience. I thought it would be fun to share all of this with you!

I am so excited to share this incredible discussion with you. Rotem Brayer has created a community for EMDR practitioners, and we dive into some of his thoughts about EMDR, mindfulness and even IFS. He has so much to share, and I am thrilled to bring you this episode.

Let dive into how we can understand OCD from an IFS lens. In this Part 2, Rob Fox and I continue to explore how we both use IFS and EMDR (and other modalities) to understand the allusive experience of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. 

Welcome to this episode where I speak with Rob Fox, who I am very excited to bring to this audience.  Rob is certified in EMDR and IFS. In addition to having a lot of skills and knowledge on working with addictions, Rob also is a specialist when it comes to Obsessive-Compuslive Disorder (OCD).  The focus in this two part conversation is how Rob works with OCD, and conceptualizes this disorder. He shares some of his personal experiences as well. it was a pleasure speaking with Rob!

Hello and welcome to this beautiful episode. I had the honor of speaking with Susan West Kurz today, and I am really excited about sharing some of the work that she has been involved with. It is called "Biography" and we dive into speaking about it on todays episode.  If you would like to find out more about Susan and her work, please check out the following websites: www.biographyandsocialart.com www.biographysocialart.org   Enjoy the episode :)

Here is the second part of this wonderful conversation with Cindy. I hope that you enjoy this! We continue speaking about the ways that Bi-Tapp is able to help our internal system feel more grounded. We also speak about some of the cool features tha Bi-Tapp offers. Check out more information here: www.bi-tapp.com    

It was such a pleasure speaking with Cindy Jones! This is the first part. We speak about her creation of Bi-Tapp which is a way to help clients regulate their emotions both in and out of the therapy office.  Bi-Tapp is a way to help ourselves feel calmer, particularly when we are very activated. This could help us calm our bodies enough to be able to access some of the other skills that we have.  Of course, we also speak about how this BLS tool is helpful in EMDR and IFS. I hope you enjoy this episode, and I hope it is very helpful for you as well!  

Here is the second half of my wonderful conversation with Crystal. We speak about the fabulous Jim Knipe, and more tools we can add to our EMDR toolbox. We also continue to explore ways that we can integrate IFS into all of this work.    I hope you enjoy this. It was such a pleasure to speak and learn from Crystal!

This is Part 1 of an interview with Crystal Whitlow. I hope you enjoy this interview, and there will be a part 2 coming soon!   It was such a pleasure speaking with Crystal! She is Syzygy Trainer, and offers EMDR training and EMDR consultation. She also teaches advanced EMDR workshops and IFS Informed EMDR trainings through the Syzygy Institute.     Find our more about Crystal here: https://www.crystalwhitlow.com/   On Crystal's website, there is also a wonderful interview that she conducted with Roy Kiessling and Bruce Hersey. If you have a chance, this is another incredible interview to watch!

Here is Part 2 of 2, in my conversation with Jory Agate around rupture and repairs. To was so much fun speaking with Jory Agate on this two part episode. In this section we also speak about grief work. The two books that I was referring to are: (1) The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller (2) The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise by Martin Prechtel I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I loved creating it for you :)  

Episode 42 part 1, published 8-15-24 This episode is the first part of a conversation with Jory Agate, a Lead IFS trainer, and wonderful therapist. It was great to speak with her about rupture and repair, and I hope you enjoy this episode. I am thrilled to share it with you!

On this episode, I am speaking with Hailee Wilson. She helped me design my website, and brand, and I wanted to share the great work that she does. How many of us in the field need someone in our corner who is tech savy, and able to walk us through creating our web presence?    You can find out more information on Hailee and her company at: www.bocoadvertising.com   And in true fashion of collaboration, she shares about her friend Allison Gianattasio, and her company which is found here: www.media.co Although at first glance Allison might seem like Hailee's competition, the both have a lot of respect for one another, and collaborate to help build each other up. They both benefit from this!    I hope you enjoy our conversation, and if you ever do need someone to help with a website, or expanding your vision, you know someone who would be happy to help you :)

The is the second part of the discussion with Ann Sinko.  I hope you enjoy our conversation. She has so much to offer, and I feel so lucky to have had this opportunity to speak with her, and to share this conversation with you!

This is part one. In a couple of days, I will edit and publish part two of this wonderful conversation. I feel so lucky to have spoken with Ann, and I am thrilled to share this podcast episode with you! I hope you enjoy this, and I promise, to be continued soon...

It was such a pleasure and honor to speak with Janina Fisher. I hope you enjoy this podcast! She is one of the masters of EMDR (she trained with Francine Shapiro) and she also had many conversations with Richard Schwartz.  If you would like to find out more about Janina Fisher, her Website is:  www.Janinafisher.com You can also find Janina Fisher's trainings at: www.therapywisdom.com I hope you enjoy this wonderful episode and conversation with Janina!

Here is the second part of my interview with Joanne Twombly.   It was such an honor to speak with her, and learn from her. We continue to speak about her incredible book, named: "Trauma and Dissociation Informed Internal Family Systems." It is a MUST read for those of us in the field of trauma healing!   Thank you Joanne for being a part of this 2-part, special episode. 

Season 1, Episode 38, Release Date: 7-15-2024 Exploring Dissociation with Joanne Twombly Part 1   It was such an honor to have Joanne Twombly on the podcast! We speak about dissociation, and also about the integration of IFS and EMDR. Joanne wrote the first article with RIchard Schwartz that connected these two models.  She also has written "Trauma and Dissociation Informed Internal Family Systems: How to Successfully Treat Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders." This book was transformative for my work. In a clear and interested way, Joanne was able to share necessary information, so that we as therapist are able to better understand how to recognize and help people struggling with dissociation.   There were so many questions to ask, and Joanne was so gracious with her time, that I felt we could divide this conversation into two parts. In a day or two, I will publish the next section, so you can hear part two of our conversation. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I enjoyed having it :)

Season 1, Episode 37, Release Date: 7-8-2024 EMDR and IFS Integration with Melissa and Jennifer for the Popular Notice That podcast Check out Notice That at www.emdr-podcast.com Find out more about Beyond Healing (Melissa and Jen's group practice in Missouri at: www.connectbeyondhealing.com   Melissa is thew Director of Clinical Embodiment at Beyond Healing, as wel as Supervisor, Trainer, Consultant and Psychotherapist. She is an approved EMDRIA Consultant. She has a special focus in dissociative disorders and holistic healinng. She is also a Reiki teacher and university professor.   Jennifer Savage is the Directorof Program Development at Beyond Healing. She is also a Supervisor, Trainer, Consultant, and Bilingual Psychotherapist-- American Sign Language. She is an EMDRIA approved Consultant. She also offers intensives, to work with clients seeking trauma healing in a more concentrated setting.   It was such an honor to speak with both of them for this episode!    

Season 1, Episode 36, Release Date: 6-30-2024 Robert Falconer and the Others Within Us   Robert Falconer is defintely a hero of mine. He has written many enlightening books that include "The Others Within Us" and his latest (hot off the presses) "When You're Going Through Hell... Keep Going." Find out more about Bob here: www.robertfalconer.us   He combines trauma healing and spirituality in his work-- which has been involved with for over 50 years! Through grace, he has always found himself motivated to heal his own trauma. This has led him into the field of helping others in their journey to heal trauma. He incorporates wisdom from a diversity of cultures.  He spoke about Owen Barfield, the less famous friend of CS Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. Dr. Barfield explored participation with our external reality, and how this got cut off around the time of ancient Greece.   Western psychology is seen by some as colonization of the mind, which rose alongside imperialism.  Is there a way to bring back spirituality to this? We spoke about how IFS does this, "to some degree." However, the 8 C's seem to stop short of some important Self qualities, such as: Luminosity Transcendence Radiance We spoke about how graduate schools seem content with the 8 C's-- particularly "calm" Indeed, much of the Western world (myself included) doesn't understand why this is limited... that is until hearing Bob speak about spirituality.   To understand a different kind of spiritual understanding, Bob invited me (and the audience) to think about the Sans people, Bushmen of the Kalahari. Their spirituality is high energy, it is esctatic dancing. They get spiritual energy by moving!   Looking around (particularly in most therapy offices), Bob fears that we banish esctatic spirituality in this society.  Perhaps one way to bring this back is through a pschedelic renaissance. Bob feels that we should be focused on generative change. Unlike counteractive change, gernative change happens when we plant seeds, and allow for contious transformation of a system, which becomes self-sustaining.   Bob invites us to learn more from the non-Western cultures.    We spoke about how to help prepare someone for a psychodelic experience, and Bob shared how this is multi-layered. He stressed the need for permission from the entire system. We spoke about how psychedelics seem to address rumination of a system.   Bob shared that he doesn't believe people can heal from trauma without some form of spirituality or meaning of their world. To him, each moment can be a doorway into eternity, if we can appreciate the present moment. We can do this by pausing when we find ourselves experiencing awe, wonder, joy. This is a way to respect our own existence.   We spoke about the definition of "mental health" and how our society puts these people in boxes that become extremely limiting. Instead, these people just might be the visionaries, who need more of a compassionate container. Again, we can find beautiful models of this if we look to other societies that have been able to do this more effectively than we have.     

Meditation from Leslie Petruk.   I wanted to share this lovely meditation that Leslie honored us with, as a bonus to our episode together!   I hope you enjoy this as much as I did! 

Season 1, Episode 35, Release Date: 6-23-2024 Leslie Petruk and Parenting Through the Eyes of a Child   Leslie is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Director at the Stone Center for Counseling & Leadership, as well as a Clinical Supervisor. Find out more about the Stone Center here: www. thestonecenternc.com Leslie has expertise working with children, individuals, couples and families. She is an author, IFS trainer, presenter and therapist. She has written two chapters of Jenna Riemersma's book, "Altogether Us."   This is a special epsidoe, because Leslie was also my first IFS teacher, in my Level one training. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher :) We nerded out a little about poetry, and here are some of our favorite poets-- Rumi, Nikita Gill, N. Scott Momaday, Jeff Foster, David Whyte, John O'Donohue, and Matt Licata.   Here is some of the transcript that I wanted to highlight:   David. Leslie, how can we use sandtrays in our practice? Leslie. This is a way to help dive into unconscious realm with clients. I like to give clients choice, and allow them to pick objects. They create something, without relying on their "thinking brain." In a way, it is like their parts are being laid out in front of them.  David. Some people might have diffculty when given too much choice and freedom. This might even feel threatening. How do you handle this situation? Leslie. I hold the space. I focus on creating a welcoming and trusting space, and I also hold onto the truth that clients know inside what to do. I might reflect what they are doing, and what is happening, as I create this safe container for them. Although it could be more challenging for children with trauma to get started with sandtrays, once they are able to be part of this process, they tend to get lost in the sandtrays.   David. When you write about parenting skills, how do you differentiate between helping someone have good parenting skills, with overall good relationship and communication skills? Leslie. That is a good question, because healthy attachment applies to any relationship. I remember one time after I did an incredible piece of work with my IFS therapist. I found that I was so present to my children afterwards, and it was a very dramatic shift that had never happened in quite the same way before. I wanted to share this with every parent!   David. We have so much power over our children's lives. In some ways, they are all they really know. Leslie. As my child left for college, I worried if I had given her enough to be successful. Launching children is so hard, in many different ways. But, it is also a beautiful process.   Leslie. My hope with working with parents is to help them have clarity of their parts, and to understand their agendas.  David. It seems important to put our children's needs first.   Leslie. I think it is all about balance. If we are not there for ourselves, we can't be our best selves for our parents. We need to care for our needs-- so we can give our children guidance and a safe place.  David. I feel like as parents we want to helop our children be self-led. Leslie. Yes, and at the same tie, children are naturally filled with joy and curiosity. David. Basically, life is a sandbox for children. Leslie. The biggest message I would want to give to others is to have self-compassion. There is always something you can feel guilty about as a parent. Guilt can be a motivator to make a repair. But, it is not helpful to use this guilt as a bat to beat ourselves up with.  Being able to repair with ourselves as well as our children is so important.   Leslie shared that when we are activated, it is a reminder for us to get curious! 

Season 1, Episode 34, Release Date: 6-16-2024 Victoria Eagle and the IFS Telehealth Collective   Find out more about Victoria here: http://ifstherapyonline.com/victoria-eagle-ifs-therapy-in-california   This is a very special episode for me, to introduce a wonderful co-worker of mine, Victoria Eagle. She has been working at the IFS-Telehealth Collective, she is a supervisor here, and also runs group with one of the founders Paul Ginter. Find out more about these groups here: http://ifstherapyonline.com/ifs-community-groups   Victoria shared that she was drawn to IFS because of its non-pathologizing nature. She felt that she was able to see her clients (first children, then parents) through this lens of compassion and connection.    When Victoria was trained in IFS, and shared the concept of multiplicity, and helped people see the parts within them, she helps parents relate to these parts as if they were their children. Victoria sees these parts as individual clients that are walking into her office. In this way, each part is an entity that we want to get to know and appreciate.   As we accept and love our inner world, this energy also is reflected in our relationship to the outter way as well.   Victoria shared how when people are able to experience their self energy, she can see this reflected in their faces "it is as the sunshine is warming them."   Victoria shared how the IFS-TC handles diagnosing clients, and how this is a collaborative process. The diagnosing is done to describe symptoms, and help care for people. She strives to choose the least pathologizing diagnoses, and holds these diagnoses lightly.   

Seaon 1, Episode 33, Release Date: 6-9-2024 Authentic Connection with Jessica Olberz Singleton and Frank D'Amato   This has been one of those episodes which I have been holding close to my heart, and I am finally releasing it, with a deep sense of gratitude towards Jessica and Frank. They are heroes of mine who are also on a podcast journey of their own. Their podcast has been very inspirational to me. Their podcast is called, "Feel This" and you can listen to it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/th/podcast/feel-this-with-frank-and-jess/id1610951524   This podcast has authentic conversation, where the hosts show what they are experiencing in the moment. They welcome the listener into this safe space, to feel this alongside the hosts. Frank shared that he does this podcast for the simple reason that when he is doing the podcast, "I feel more connected to myself, more alive, more compassionate."   Frank shared that, Authentic Connection is a way of speaking for what is happening in the moment. We can look at 5 zones of connection...   1) Chit chat-- speaking about random things going on around us 2) It chat-- focusing on a specific topic of interest 3) Me chat-- focusing on you or me 4) We chat-- speaking about the relationship of "us" 5) Now chat-- speaking for what my experience is in this moment   Frank shared how he really loves Jay Earleys books, "Self-Therapy" especially for clients.   Frank shared how he does not believe the zones are heirarchical. Each of them can be very positive if we are being self-led. To illustrate this, Jess shared how chit-chat could be parts led, when people are using this to speak over one another, or fill up space. However, chit-chat could also be Self-led when there is attunement, and the chit-chat becomes a way of connecting with someone. Through a sense of presence, the words within chit-chat don't matter, the communication is in the experience, and the action.   Chit-chat can also be used to bring a deep conversation to a place that feels a little safer and contained.   Frank dove into the We chat realm and shared how this is often overlooked in our culture, but so important. Frank shared how "IFIO sees this realm as a place to help couple's track their experiences." This is a way to notice cycles and patterns in communication.   When we are being parts-led, we chat can look more like an argument. But, all relationships will have conflict, and being able to name "we-chat," we make more space for working through these problems. Naming what you perceive to be happening in the relationship takes vulnerability. However, this can lead to being able to feel the tangibility of the group's consciousness!    Authentic conversation (as it is named in IFIO) is the "now chat." It begins with an understanding and connection with ourselves. As I understand what I am feeling, I can then communicate this to you. Tapping into the hear and now, and the experiences within our bodies, can even lead us into a spiritual realm, as it deepens our relationship with the other person.    As Jess beautifully said; "By trusting our nervous system, and listening to it, allows us to give love and be loved. As we slow things down, we can appreciate the beauty of this, and it can feel like we are coming home to myself and others."           

Season 1 Episode 32, Release Date: 6-1-2024 Daily Parts Meditation Practice ® with Michelle Glass   Michelle Glass is Level 3 trained IFS practitioner, who has written the wonderful book, "Daily Parts Meditation Practice®." She is a Soul Collage facilitator as well as a Spiritual Emergence Coach. She leads Daily Parts Meditation Practice® (DPMP®) Workshops. She has also spent 7 years as the Editor for the magazine, "Foundation for Self-Leadershp." Find out more about Michelle here: http://thelistenerllc.com   Michelle also collaborates with Sentur App. Find out more about this here: http://www.sentur.app   Michelle also has been teaching the integration of IFS for guides working with psychedelics. Find out more about this work on Michelle's website.   Michelle spoke about her book, and how she believe (and practices) checking in with her part each day. In this way, she has been able to cultivate a deep relationship and connection with each one of her parts.   Michelle quoted A.H. Almaas, who has said, The fundamental thing that happened, and the greatest calamity, is not that there was no love or support. The greater calamity, which is caused by the first calamity, is that you lost the connection to your essence. This is much more important than whether your mother or father loved you or not." Michelle shared that for her, when she experienced trauma, the worst part was how this made her question how there could be a higher power, or God, when such horrendous things could happen to people.   IFS was a way that Michelle was able to reconnect to this higher power. Michelle shared how this was through her unburdening some of her hurt and cautious parts.   Michelle was drawn to IFS because of its non-pathologizing nature.    She is very passionate about helping people integrate there parts, and she has shared some of her strategies that have been extremely helpful for her. These include seix strategies that she explores in her book: (1) parts timelines (2) parts maps (3) parts biolographies (4) parts catalogue cards (5) daily parts meditation practice® (6) parts externalization.   The most essential of these six strategies is number 5: DPMP®. This is a meditation practice not only furthers our relationship with our parts, but also helps them remain unburdened. We are able to become "infused" with the unburdened parts' natural qualities. In this way, we can connected with our life's purpose, and deeper recognition of our inherented gifts.   To Michelle, this can provide each of us with a spiritual connection both internally and externally!   Thanks Michelle for such a meaningful conversation and connection!    

Season 1, Episode 31, Release Date: 5-28-2024 Drawing into self to Survive and Thrive with Ruth Culver   Ruth Culver is an Integrative Hypnotherapist, IFS Practitioner, and Internal (IFS) Constellations She also created and leads workshops on IFS intuitive Drawing, and "Drawing into Self," Internal Constellations, and her "Survive and Thrive Spiral."   Ruth spoke about her work in hypnotherapy, and how IFS allows up to really understand a system so we can get permission from protectors before rattling exiles (very similar to how IFS can also aide EMDR).   Also, Ruth said that for some of her clients, the Ventral Vagal state did not feel like they were "tolerating" difficult things, it felt more as if they were "accepting" and feeling OK through the difficulties.   We spoke about "freeze" state, and how this felt like active energy, which is sometimes missed in descriptions. Ruth said, "This is very different than collapse, it is more a thought of, I got to do something about this, but I can't"     I (David) questioned if each part has their own autonomic nervous system of their own. Ruth's answer was that yes, and they are all reacting to a larger nervous system in the body. "The parts take on their roles in response to this larger nervous system."   When we check in with parts, in IFS, we are in effect reprograming each of their nervous systems. In this way, repetition is very important. In some ways, this feels a lot like reconsolidating the part's memories.   We spoke about spirituality, and Ruth shared that her journey has been more about being rather than doing. She shared that she has been involved with family constellation work, which really started through absorbing some of the practises of South Africa, and how they were interacting with ancestors.   Ruth shared how family constellation work was tuning into somatic energy, where there would be a group of participants and they would help represent family members and ancestors. Ruth broadened this to include internal parts of systems as well.    Ruth shared how you could feel a connectedness within the group and a form of synchronicity. Almost as if the group was a jazz band, listening and improving with one another! Again, Ruth shared how IFS brings a lot of safety to this technique.   We spoke about the similarities of this practise to Psychodrama, and Ruth shared that she believes "Constellations goes one step further." There is more unconsicious work being done, and less containment (not guiding participants how to act or what to say). Therefore, good preparation becomes vital.   Ruth said she creates safety by (1) slowing things down, and (2) staying curious. When exiles show up, it is OK because we can see them, and ask them to wait. As Cece Sykes says, "we can send them little golden threads." We can say to them, I might not be able to get to you right now, but I see you. This can be very healing!   We spoke about "Drawing into Self" and how healing it could be to have parts express themselves through color and movement on a page. This taps into preverbal and nonverbal modes of communication, and then we can do IFS through the intuitive drawing.    When we share this with partners, we also learn how to really listen to what someone is sharing. Ruth has put together many protocols for this. She has found that this externalizes parts.   She also has workshops on her Survive and Thrie model. "Its all about safety and connection."

Season 2, Episode 33, Release Date: 5-27-2024 Self-led Sexuality with Patricia Rich   Today I had the pleasure of speaking with Patricia Rich, a licensed social worker, certified IFS therapist and consultant, and a certified sex therapist and supervisor. She is insightful and knowledgeable on how IFS and sex therapy could be merged together for therapy and healing. She has presented at many conferences, and she has created a model for self-led sexuality, where she focuses on her "Six S's of sexual energy." We speak about this model in our conversation.   She shared the irony, how a lot of times sexuality is exiled from our field. However, people come to therapy to find their connection, vibracy and "aliveness." Our sexual energy, is such a great doorway to these very qualities!   Sexuality is important element of couple's work, and it is also an aspect of our humanness, of being an embodied human.   Patricia speaks about how important consent is as we explore our sexuality. This includes both consent with other people we are connecting sexually with, and also having internal consent. Patricia speaks about being able to welcome and give permission to all of our internal parts to be able to have a voice and to tap into their own sexuality. Additionally, she believes that it is important to get permission from all of our parts when exploring our sexuality.   It is important to have some space in our systems, to be able to listen to all of our parts. Patricia mentioned Betty Martin's "Wheel of Consent" and how this leads to a "sacred pause." When I googled this later I found Tara Brach speaking about this "Sacred Pause" as well. In this pause we can listen to all parts, find internal allignment, and make sure one part is not being left out, or that another part isn't taking over the system.   Diving into the "sacred pause," Patricia shared her strategy to "take a few BEATS." She did this with David, and she showed this practice: B-- this stands for BODY and BREATH and noticing these E-- is listening to our EMOTIONS, noticing what is happening inside A-- this is our ACTIONS, what are we doing in this moment, and what is or impulse T-- stands for THOUGHTS, can we observe what are thoughts are saying S-- is our SELF WISDOM, and listening for the voices of our wiser self in this moment   Patricia speaks about how important it is to really listen to, "What is my body saying?" This can even connect with Polyvagal theory, and questioning how our autonomic nervous system is feeling in the moment.   All of our internal parts have a drive and nature as well as a sexual energy to them.   Self-energy also has a sexual quality to it. This is beautiful because it illustrates how no one is sexually broken! As we open us to our sexual energies, we can become soft, creative, and new doors can open.   Patricia shared the 6 S's that she believes sexual energy can bring us:   Safety Senuality Spaciousness Sensitivity Steamy Satisfied   Each of these could be a trailhead, and a way of assess our sexual energy, as well as how we relate to our sexual energy. This could be a way of embodying self-energy.   We can strive towards having self-led sexuality, and helping all of our parts to have self-led sexuality as well.   To find more about Patricia, you can go to her website: www.patriciarich.com            

Season 2, Episode 31, Release Date: 5-15-2024 Anti-Racist Psychotherapy with David Archer   Today I had the pleasure of having a compassionate conversation with David Archer, an Anti-racist clinical Social Worker. He is a couples and family therapist, and an advocate for racially oppressed and LGBTQ+ community.   David has written many books, including his newest book, "Transforming Complex Trauma: Reflections on Anti-Racist Psychotherapy."    David has a revolutionary vision, which transforms society in a very positive and healing way. As we heal ourselves, we simultaneous increase the compassion that we are able to give to others, according to David.   David shared how we can view time as circular and malleable. We journey with clients, and help shed light on the past, and work to understand what they would like to manifest for their future.   EMDR is bringing back indigenous knowledge of a mind-body-spirit connection. Also, interconnectedness is a natural way that humans have lived for most of our existence.    We spoke about how capitalism is an inherently insecure system, as it rests of the idea that there is never enough. It is one of the three evils according to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The other two are racism and extreme militarism. When we are committing acts of violance, there is a level of dissociation that is taking place. There are elements within society that encourgae us to shut down and not pay attention. When we start paying attention, compassion grows.   Being alive, and breathing is an expression of love!   Whenever we create an exile, there is some form of dissociation taking place. We are cut off from some of our feelings. When we feel safe, we can tap into the infinite creativity within ourselves. Mental health is helping people have options for who they choose to be.   For David, we need to resist thinking in binaries. He shared how we have to break the ideas of labels, such as mental health. Instead, we can understand how mental health is a fluctuation of states.   I questioned how David stays so positive, and he said, "I am never alone. I always have my ancestors with me."   Experiences can always be pathways to connect to divinity, even difficult experiences. As trauma therapists, we go on this journey with clients, to help them dive into the abyss of trauma.   David shared, "I bring in music, rhythm, religion, because I want to create a therapy that does not look or feel like therapy." Instead of there being a hierarchy of the therapist over the client, the client chooses the method of healing. With this power, the client has a new experience of having choice, and a juxtaposition is created.   We spoke about RAP-- Rhythm and Processing. This a beautiful process that David has written about in his new book, "Tranforming Complex Trauma."     

Episode 30   Sara Avant Stover: www.saraavantstover.com   We speak about her wonderful new book: Handbook for the Heart Broken: A Woman's Path from Devistation to Rebirth.   It was such a pleasure speaking with Sara. I hope you enjoy our compassionate conversation as much as I did!    Warmly,   David  

Season 2, Episode 29, Release Date: 5-4-2024 IFIO with guest Toni Herbine-Blank   Today I have the pleasure of sharing my conversation with Toni Herbine-Blank, MS. RN, C-SP. She is a Clinical Specialist, Psychotherapist, and Senior Trainer for the Center for Self-Leadership. Toni began training students in Internal Family Systems Therapy in 2004 and since then has been instumental in designing programs and writing curricula for Levels 1 and 2 IFS training programs.   Toni has been in private practice since 1996 specializing in the treatment of couples and individuals. In 2009, after designing a training for IFS therapists to apply the model to couples therapy, Toni offered the first Intimacy from the Inside Out (c) Training Program in Boston, MA. Since then the program has been received with great enthusiasm across the United States.   Whereas IFS focused on the internal aspects of an individual, IFIO focuses on the interdependance our internal system and external relationships. We turn inward (known as a "YOU-turn") to help us in our connections ("RE turn" to relationship).    Toni shared how the heart of her model is "Courageous Communication." When we feel healed, we open up to conversations. In this way we can stay connected with our minds and hearts, and are able to tune into how we might be impacting other people in the conversations.   Within intimate relationships, there is mutuality, as well as exploration. Although skills and tools could be extremely helpful, we need to have a critical mass of self energy in order to access these skills. Self-energy helps us listen and speak from our hearts.   We spoke about how Shame is a verb. When we have difficulty connecting and commnuicating with one another, we can explore what is coming up within us, and there is always some path that connects us back to shame, shamfulness or shaming behaviors. Shame is a "rolling" energy, where we sometimes replicate within our systems what is done to us. Additionally, what we do to ourselves, we do to others.   In IFIO we are "helping people free themselves from the myth of Unloveability."   Through IFIO we earn the trust of our internal system, and in this way recognize who we can extend this trust to in our external world. As these people are welcomed into our internal universe, we co-constuct authentic and meaningful connection. 

Season 2, Episode 28, Release Dte: 4-28-2024 Healing the Folks Who Live Inside with Esly   I hope you enjoy my conversation with Esly Regina Cavalho as much as I loved having it! Esly holds a Ph.D. in psychology, and she is a Brazilian- American clinical psychologist. She is an EMDR Trainer of Trainers, and she is a trainer with distinction in Psychodrama, Sociometry, and Group Psychotherapy. She offers training to integrate EMDR with Role Therapy. She is an author, and president of multiple agencies. She has been a major impact with bringing EMDR -- and it's integration with Role Therapy --  to Brazil, and around the world!   Registration is open for the Esly's Professional Intervention Program for Adversity (PIPA), group exercises based on AIP theory. Check out more here:  www.traumaclinicinternational.com/courses/pipa   EMDR Basic Training, in English but with an international team: www.traumaclinicinternational.com   You can watch Esly's Youtube video explaining EMDR here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg842qP83yc   It was wonderful speaking with Esly about psychodrama, and how this helps increase: Our creativity The ability to think on our feet Confidence and stage presence Understanding other perspectives through role reversal   We spoke about surplus reality, and Esly explained how this is a psychodramatic term for an imaginary place where we can create anything we want. This is a place were traumas can find resolutions.   We spoke about two types of time: (1) chronological time and (2) a particular moment in time. Esly shared how EMDR helps us take trauma our of a particularly moment (which is eternally repeating) and bring it to chronological time, and sent back to the past.   Esly's wonderful saying, "Without healing there is no holiness."   Esly also shared her beliefs that, "If you get stuck, look for the trauma."   I love how Esly describes her "psychodynamic interweave" for EMDR. In this way, she allows us to change our story, and help roles develop.    Esly has brought her work to: Ecuador, Bolivia, Costa Rica, Venezuela, Columbia, Angola, Mozambique and Ethiopia. Esly's PIPA's program has been extremely well received, and very successful.    Find out more about EMDR and Psychodrama at Esly's websites. As Esly shared, both models are very powerful healing modalities, but could also cause a lot of damage if not done correctly.    Esly's training are for licensed professionals, and she is creating more for paraprofessionals.  

Season 2, Episode 28, Release Date: 4-12-2024 IFS and EMDR with guest John Clarke   Today I have the pleasure of speaking with John Clarke. John is a fellow podcaster, and has created the show, "Going Inside, Healing Trauma from the Inside Out." He is a trauma therapist who uses evidenced based models of Internal Family Systems (IFS), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Somatic Experiencing (SE). You can find out more about John on his website: www.johnclarketherapy.com   John was introduced to EMDR first, and then when he learned IFS, he saw this as a big game changer. EMDR gave him a deeper perspective of memories, and then, IFS helped give him a deeper understanding of parts of our system that holds these memories. There is also an understanding of the parts that feel that they have to protect (and sometimes exile) these more vulnerable parts.   John has a podcast and show named, "Going Inside." This is his second show that he has created, and with this show he is hoping to reach out to anyone who has an interest in therapy and wants to understand more about some of the amazing trauma models that are out there.    We spoke about how IFS is seen as a psycho-spiritual model, particularly with its understanding around Self-energy. John shared how when he spoke with Seth Kopald, they discussed how children have so much Self-energy, and John can see this in his daughter.   As we get older, we start developing shame. John shared that helping people recognize and deal with their shame is such a big part of the work that we do. A lot of our work is around sitting with people when they come to therapy, and taking the time to help them understand their parts, and befriending their parts. It this way, we can also help others unpack some of the profound fears that they are carrying, that they are not good enough, and that if other people really saw them, they might end up alone.    John shared how hard it could be for people who have been traumatized to be able to accept the moment, and trust that things will work out-- because this hasn't happened in their past. This can trigger the difficult emotions in their body.    What are the purposes of emotions? What does pathology exist? John shared how he feels that IFS model is so beautiful because it encourages us to turn to the parts that have these intense emotions, and understand and listen to the wisdom that these parts are trying to give to us.   Thank you John for our lovely conversation. I am looking forward to speaking with you again, on your podcast :)  

Season 2, Episode 27, Release Date: 4-06-2024 Finding Our Gifts Through Divine Love: Brian Jaudon   On this episode I had the pleasure of speaking with Brian Jaudon, a master coach, mentor, trainer and teacher of coaches. Brian has co-designed and taught two global courses on incorporating IFS into coaching. He is also Founder of Pisgah Institute. You can find out more about Brian and his offerings at:  www.pisgahcoaching.com.   Brian shares how he works with coaches, so these coaches can successfully help others bring their unique gifts into the world. In order to do this, Brian said we help people we are coaching explore why they are here right now.    For Brian, he believes that we are all here to be of service to others. This resonates with me, where the way to have compassion is to give it away!   Brian shared his three steps that coaches support others through:  (1) To answering the question, "What do I want to create in my life and work?" (2) To discover how they can be of service to others. (3) To understand their "Divine Contract" of why they are on Earth, and to live out this contract.   Brian shared how it was a very pivotal experience for him when he got cancer (2 times). Brian explained how the second time he got cancer, he was able to befriend his cancer. He applied Richard Schwartz views that there are no bad parts in us to the cancer, and saw the cancer as something with consciousness and forced into an extreme role.    We spoke about how Brian became familiar with Bert Hllinger's Family Constellation work. He was able to represent and become more aware of (a) the cancer (b) himself and (c) Divine Love. Brian shared, "Divine love became more than a concept, I developed a relationship with it."   Brain was even able to turn to tha cancer and say, "Thank you for bringing Divine Love into my life." Brian told cancer that it could leave, but said it was up to cancer (and in this way showed divine love to the cancer).   Brian shared that his vision has become embodying this Divine Love, and inspiring others to do the same.  When working with other people's visions, he believes that IFS could be extremely helpful. He shared, "once the right vision has presented itself, we map out all of a persons internal parts." Brian believes that a coaches job is to help someone discover what the internal system is organized around, and to work to align this with a vision. If there are parts that are not aligned with the vision, these parts need to be brought into the light, so they could be seen and better understood.    Brian has also been impacted by the work of Judith Johnson who has said, "Love brings anything unlike itself to the surface to be healed." Find out more about Judith and her work here: www.psychoneuroenergetics.net/judith    Brian feels that as a coach, as well as trainer for coaches, he wants to help teach people how to recognize the gifts that they have been born with. He teaches how a persons internal system can be unburdened or deeply understood, so these gifts can be materialized and a person's innate abilities could be shared with others. Thank you Brian for this Compassionate Conversation!