Podcast appearances and mentions of robert falconer

This is part two of a series about Jonathan Pageau (  @JonathanPageau  ) and John Verkvaeke (  @johnvervaeke  ) and their respective views on Spirit and pneumatology. I mention Jonathan Pageau, John Vervaeke, Paul Vander Klay, Elizabeth Oldfield, Kale Zelden, Rod Dreher, Grim Grizz, , Ed Hutchins, Tucker Carlson, St. Anthony of the Desert, Athanasius, David Sloan Wilson, John Calvin, Tanya Luhrmann, Charles Taylor, Chuck Colson, Will Barlow, Scott Alexander, Robert Falconer, Richard Schwarz, Chris Masterpietro (Vervaeke's collaborator), Jung (Carl Jung), Michael (Archangel), Jesus Christ, Satan, Andre Antunes, Daniel (prophet), Mary Harrington, Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, Meno, Gregory of Nyssa, Father John Bear, Hank (presumably Hank Green from a referenced conversation), Barack Obama, John Locke, Immanuel Kant, George Cybenko, Kurt Hornik, Jonathan Losos, Richard Dawkins, Jordan Peterson, Baldwin (James Mark Baldwin), Alex O'Connor, Nero Caesar, Adam, Plotinus, Spinoza (Benedict de Spinoza), Dan Wagenmaker, (Upton) Sinclair, Bishop VT Williams, Raphael (Raff), Anderson Day, William Desmond, Charles StangMidwestuary Info and Tickets - https://www.midwestuary.com/Part 1 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMjEY3BOPPI&t=928sDavid Sloan Wilson Dialogue - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CAyvVdNSzIWill Barlow - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DoIgcSWJnE&t=4065s

Our world is more magical than we know - more than we can know.  Increasing numbers of us are realising that the 'citadel theory of mind' where we see ourselves as isolated units within the boundaries of our own skulls is not how the world works.  But if it isn't, then how do we make sense of the worlds beyond consensus reality? How do we engage with the web of life and all that's around it in ways that are respect, reciprocal and generative? Robert (Bob) Falconer is a long time IFS practitioner and trainer.  He is the author or co-author of many books, including Many Minds, One Self which he co-wrote with Dick Schwartz, who is credited with founding Internal Family Systems Therapy. For me, this is the form of therapy that leans closest into spiritual work, particularly into shamanic work, and Bob's book, The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind and Spirit Possession is a ground-breaking work that blows open the fallacies of the citadel mind model and opens us to a wide spectrum of other realities in other cultures, all of which acknowledge the existence of non-human, non-embodied energies that have at least a degree of agency and that can interact with human beings in ways that are either to our benefit or our detriment. Very few are neutral. So as we hurtle towards the edge of a cliff, pushed by our culture's endemic inability to engage with our own traumas, talking to Bob seemed pretty much essential.  We talk quite a lot about IFS, which is Internal Family Systems therapy and at the start, we open up more of what that's about, though I do encourage you to read the book Bob co-wrote with Dick Schwartz.  We also - and this is a trigger warning - explore some of Bob's own life history of harrowing sexual and physical abuse so if this is likely to trigger parts of you, then please only listen when you're feeling grounded and well resourced.  Beyond that, we range far, wide and deep across the boundaries where science meets spirituality and philosophy meets psychotherapy, all of which is squarely in the area that I think needs most work, for all of us.  Bob's website: https://robertfalconer.us/Bob on YouTube https://robertfalconer.us/youtube-channel/Bob's Books: Out now: The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit PossessionOUT ON 22nd MAY 2025 - Opening the Inner World: Spiritual Healing, Internal Family Systems and Emanuel Swedenborg Co-written with Dick Schwartz: Many Minds, One Self by Richard Schwartz and Robert Falconer Other books Thomas Zinser Soul-Centered Healing Lloyd DeMause The History of Childhood  David Gordon White - Daemons are ForeverDreaming Awake Contemporary Shamanic Training: https://dreamingawake.co.uk Accidental Gods Membership https://accidentalgods.life/join-us/Accidental Gods Gatherings https://accidentalgods.life/gatherings-2025/

When I say, “Aretha Franklin,” what's the first thing you want to belt out?  If it's R-E-S-P-E-C-T, that's you and me both, my friend. And, don't worry, I won't hold it against you if it wasn't. As one of my Internal Family Systems consultants, Robert Falconer, reminded me, respect is the opposite of shame and the minimum of love. The second of those ideas, he said, came from the work of Pia Melody, renowned author on recovery from addictions.  Shame is such an inherent part of the bingeing experience that it's built right into the clinical criteria for binge eating disorder. But regarding yourself with respect and care changes the game completely. Listen in to find out more! Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.holdingthespace.co/81. If you're ready to invest in one-on-one support to help heal binge eating, go to https://holdingthespace.as.me/free30 and get on my calendar for a complementary consult today. I pinky-swear—NO icky salesy vibes, just compassion and understanding.

Chelsea Rose Odhner is the Vice President of Publishing for the Swedenborg Foundation, a Level 1 trained Internal Family Systems practitioner, and a licensed massage therapist. Chelsea's work spans writing, music, and spiritual content strategy, including their original spiritual music album “Confident Hope.” Trained in yoga philosophy and interfaith dialogue, they work to highlight important intersections in the areas of spiritual growth, psychological understanding, and creative expression. Chelsea works one-on-one with clients virtually and in person in Glenside, PA at their practice Locus of Healing.Robert Falconer is best known for his extensive involvement with Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy as a practitioner, teacher, and writer. For the past decade or more Bob Falconer has devoted himself full-time to IFS work. In that time he has attended all levels of IFS training offered, and has been at many workshops and events with Richard Schwartz both as assistant and participant. In addition to studying with many of the other senior IFS trainers, He also co-authored a book with Richard Schwartz entitled, Many Minds, One Self. His other books include The Others Within Us and When You're Going Through Hell ...Keep Going. His focus is now on the study of spiritual presence experiences.Jonathan S. Rose, Ph.D., is a scholar and translator of the works of Emanuel Swedenborg. As Series Editor of the New Century Edition of Swedenborg's Theological Works, he has dedicated his career to making complex spiritual concepts accessible through meticulous translation and research. Dr. Rose has authored works including The Message of Love behind the Ten Commandments and Swedenborg's Garden of Theology and been the host of the Spirit and Life Bible Study. Beyond his scholarly pursuits, Dr. Rose is also an accomplished musician who explored spiritual themes in his eclectic gospel album "Clear Shining after Rain." Rose has a passion for exploring the therapeutic potential of Swedenborg's teachings, inspired by innovative psychologists like Wilson Van Dusen, Raymond Moody, and Jerry Marzinsky. In his work, he aims to help people know and understand Swedenborg's works so that they can connect with heavenly inspiration and healing.Their most recent book is the subject of our conversation in this episode:Opening the Inner World: Spiritual Healing, Internal Family Systems, and Emanuel Swedenborghttps://bitl.to/4SvmConnect with ChelseaThe Swedenborg Foundationhttps://swedenborg.com/Confident Hopehttps://bitl.to/4SvhLocus of Healinghttps://bitl.to/4SvpConnect with BobWhen You're Going Through Hell ...Keep Goinghttps://amz.cx/3RNvThe Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (Apr 2, 2023)https://amz.run/98NnMany Minds, One Self: Evidence for a Radical Shift in Paradigm (Jan 1, 2017)https://amz.run/98NvConnect with JonathanThe Message of Love Behind the Ten Commandmentshttps://amz.cx/3RNxSwedenborg's Garden of Theologyhttps://bitl.to/4SvsClear Shining After Rainhttps://bitl.to/4Svt--Become a supporter on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therobinsmithshowGet in touch: robinGot a question? We'd love to hear from you!

With a lack of temporary foreign workers are higher food prices and fewer food choices on the horizon for Canadians? University of Calgary research associate Robert Falconer has released his second report on the role of temporary foreign workers in the Canadian agriculture sector. He said if there was any attempt to manage the food supply without these workers it is a strong possibility. Robert will talk about this latest research project and provide some short- and long-term solutions to this problem.-Amanda Radke is a blogger and South Dakota rancher who speaks out on issues that impact the cattle industry. She recently spoke to the virtual Canadian Beef Industry conference about fake meats, environmental and animal rights activists and finding ways to bridge the urban and rural divide. Amanda will share her strategies for connecting with consumers, ignoring the trolls and how ranchers can be a trusted source of information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robert Falconer is a pioneering consultant and international educator in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.  He brings over five decades of transformative psychological expertise and a heartfelt commitment to healing and understanding the complexity of human experience.  Falconer has authored several influential books including Many Minds, One Self, co-written with IFS founder Richard C. Schwartz.  Falconer's book The Others Within Us, the subject of this podcast, is a groundbreaking work which centralizes "porosity" as a key component to healing. Falconer draws from personal experience and extensive clinical practice.  He is a respected international trainer who has led workshops in many countries, including Australia, Japan, Pakistan, Mexico, China, Europe and Canada.  He has also taught all over the US, including the Fort Beltnap Sioux and Northern Cheyenne reservations.  Falconer champions a holistic view that recognizes the inherent spiritual nature of psychological healing.  Now in his mid-70s, Falconer remains an active teacher and thought leader.  His work challenges Western therapeutic paradigms and advocates for a more comprehensive understanding of human consciousness.   For more information about Richard, please see:  https://robertfalconer.us/ This podcast is available on your favorite podcast platform, or here:https://endoftheroad.libsyn.com/episode-308-robert-falconer-porous-mindspirit-possessioninternal-family-systemsthe-others-within-us Have a blessed weekend!

What if overcoming food addiction isn't about changing yourself but about identifying and releasing foreign influences within your mind? In this episode of the Food Junkies Podcast, Dr. Vera Tarman sits down with Robert Falconer to dive into the concept of "unattached burdens" and explore how these external influences may drive our cravings. Falconer, an expert in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, is the author of "The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession," which examines how unattached burdens might be impacting our behaviors and addictions. Robert Falconer holds an undergraduate degree in cultural anthropology with a focus on the history of religions and a master's degree in psychology. With over 50 years of experience in psychotherapy, Falconer specializes in IFS Therapy and has authored multiple books, including a co-authored work with IFS founder Richard Schwartz. His latest book introduces the concept of unattached burdens, blending psychological insights with a spiritual dimension that challenges traditional Western views of the mind.  Episode Highlights: Personal Journey: Falconer shares his career evolution over five decades, moving from Gestalt therapy to IFS and beyond. Insights into navigating criticism and maintaining an open, resilient approach. Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS): Falconer introduces IFS, explaining its basic concepts and how it frames addiction as a struggle between internal "selves." A look at how Falconer's ideas diverge from the traditional IFS approach, particularly with the theory of unattached burdens. Exploring "The Others Within Us": What are unattached burdens, and are they literal or metaphorical? Discussion on the "citadel theory of mind" and how unattached burdens challenge conventional views of selfhood. How unattached burdens differ from conditions like dissociative identity disorder. The Concept of a Porous Mind: The "porous mind" as a way to understand openness to external influences. How this concept redefines addiction and compulsive behaviors, offering an alternative approach to understanding cravings. Unattached Burdens and Spirit Possession: Drawing parallels between spirit possession across cultures and psychological theories in the West. Exploring whether these burdens are akin to Jungian archetypes. Can unattached burdens be viewed as a metaphor, or must they be taken literally for therapeutic success? Evidence and Ethical Considerations: Falconer discusses the evidence for external influences on thought and behavior. Ethical questions surrounding spirit guides in therapy and the use of hallucinogens for accessing these influences. Applying These Ideas to Food Addiction: How unattached burdens might provide new insights into food cravings and compulsive eating. Potential applications of spirit guides or ancestral influences in addressing food addiction. Considering parallels between "unattached burdens" and the "red dog" in Food Addiction (FA) frameworks. Connect with Robert Falconer: Website: https://robertfalconer.us  

Robert Falconer has recently released his book "The Others Within Us : Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind and Spirit Posession" https://www.amazon.com/Others-Within-Us-Internal-Possession/dp/B0CX9L6D1BRobert's work focuses on "Unattached Burdens", which is the Internal Family Systems term for etheric entities that inhabit the body, which are not part of the self and which Robert's work focuses upon clearing from people. 

Robin releases his session that he had with Robert Falconer on July 14th 2023. There are many Internal Family Systems (IFS) demonstrations out there on the internet. This is a demo of what's referred to in IFS as a retrieval and unburdening. It is highly recommended that you watch this session rather than listen to it due to the visual cues and captions that outline what is happening internally and privately in Robin's inner world. Enjoy.For more information about the Internal Family Systems model, please visit:https://ifs-institute.com/For more information about Robert Falconer and his work, please visit:https://robertfalconer.us/As referenced in the intro, here is the link to Bob's first appearance on the show:https://www.robinsmithshow.com/1338484/12332217-106-robert-falconer--Become a supporter on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therobinsmithshowGet in touch: robinsmithshow@gmail.comCall the hotline: +1 (301) 458-0883Got a question? We'd love to hear from you!

Season 1, Episode 36, Release Date: 6-30-2024 Robert Falconer and the Others Within Us   Robert Falconer is defintely a hero of mine. He has written many enlightening books that include "The Others Within Us" and his latest (hot off the presses) "When You're Going Through Hell... Keep Going." Find out more about Bob here: www.robertfalconer.us   He combines trauma healing and spirituality in his work-- which has been involved with for over 50 years! Through grace, he has always found himself motivated to heal his own trauma. This has led him into the field of helping others in their journey to heal trauma. He incorporates wisdom from a diversity of cultures.  He spoke about Owen Barfield, the less famous friend of CS Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. Dr. Barfield explored participation with our external reality, and how this got cut off around the time of ancient Greece.   Western psychology is seen by some as colonization of the mind, which rose alongside imperialism.  Is there a way to bring back spirituality to this? We spoke about how IFS does this, "to some degree." However, the 8 C's seem to stop short of some important Self qualities, such as: Luminosity Transcendence Radiance We spoke about how graduate schools seem content with the 8 C's-- particularly "calm" Indeed, much of the Western world (myself included) doesn't understand why this is limited... that is until hearing Bob speak about spirituality.   To understand a different kind of spiritual understanding, Bob invited me (and the audience) to think about the Sans people, Bushmen of the Kalahari. Their spirituality is high energy, it is esctatic dancing. They get spiritual energy by moving!   Looking around (particularly in most therapy offices), Bob fears that we banish esctatic spirituality in this society.  Perhaps one way to bring this back is through a pschedelic renaissance. Bob feels that we should be focused on generative change. Unlike counteractive change, gernative change happens when we plant seeds, and allow for contious transformation of a system, which becomes self-sustaining.   Bob invites us to learn more from the non-Western cultures.    We spoke about how to help prepare someone for a psychodelic experience, and Bob shared how this is multi-layered. He stressed the need for permission from the entire system. We spoke about how psychedelics seem to address rumination of a system.   Bob shared that he doesn't believe people can heal from trauma without some form of spirituality or meaning of their world. To him, each moment can be a doorway into eternity, if we can appreciate the present moment. We can do this by pausing when we find ourselves experiencing awe, wonder, joy. This is a way to respect our own existence.   We spoke about the definition of "mental health" and how our society puts these people in boxes that become extremely limiting. Instead, these people just might be the visionaries, who need more of a compassionate container. Again, we can find beautiful models of this if we look to other societies that have been able to do this more effectively than we have.     

Psychotherapy, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession with Robert Falconer Robert Falconer, MA, is a skilled practitioner of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy. He is coauthor with Richard Schwartz (founder of IFS) of Many Minds One Self: Evidence for a Radical Shift in Paradigm. He is author of The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous … Continue reading "Psychotherapy, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession with Robert Falconer"

Is Anxiety a demon? It's a question raised, weirdly, by the most popular kids' movie in America right now--and by the entire practice of modern psycotherapy. Typically, when we try to understand mental illness, we refer to natural causes like brain chemistry or personal and family history. But are there some forms of cognitive disorder that don't originate within us--that invade us from the outside? I'm using sources both ancient and modern to tackle that question today after a listener wrote in with some provocative thoughts. Check out our sponsor, the Ancient Language Institute: https://ancientlanguage.com/youngheretics/ I maked this: Light of the Mind, Light of the World: https://a.co/d/0fUMLN9f Gateway to the Epicureans: https://a.co/d/03RaCAP5 Subscribe to be in the mailbag: https://rejoiceevermore.substack.com Subscribe to my joint substack with Andrew Klavan (no relation): https://thenewjerusalem.substack.com Scott Alexander's review of Robert Falconer: https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/book-review-the-others-within-us?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web  

Robert Falconer joins InnerVerse to discuss his book, The Others Within Us, an encyclopedic compendium of case studies and research, generated through his client work as an Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner over twenty years. In this episode, Bob shares about his path through many psycho-therapeutic modalities, the ancient origins of multiple parts models of mind, his collaborations with IFS creator Richard Schwartz, spirit possession, "unattached burdens," ancestral lineages, and the case that changed Bob's life. In the Plus+ Extension, we discuss how to avoid blame and victimhood, whether or not negative entities come from deceased humans, shamanic cultures and positive spirits, the hierarchy of Demon Corp., the basics of dealing with attachments, how IFS saved Bob from blindness, and much more. Join InnerVerse Plus+ for exclusive extended episodes!https://www.patreon.com/posts/105485488https://youtu.be/V3b01XTnMS0https://rokfin.com/stream/49257 GET TUNEDhttps://www.innerversepodcast.com/sound-healing EPISODE LINKShttps://robertfalconer.us/Music, "Someday" by MioWnize - https://soundcloud.com/miownizehttps://www.innerversepodcast.com/season-10/robert-falconer-ifs SUPPORT INNERVERSEInnerVerse Merch - https://www.innerversemerch.comTippecanoe Herbs - Use INNERVERSE code at checkout - https://tippecanoeherbs.com/Check out the Spirit Whirled series, narrated by Chance - https://www.innerversepodcast.com/audiobooksLotusWei Flower Essences - https://www.lotuswei.com/innerverseOrgonite from https://oregon-ite.com - coupon code "innerverse"Buy from Clive de Carle with this link to support InnerVerse with your purchase - https://clivedecarle.ositracker.com/197164/11489The Aquacure AC50 (Use "innerverse" as a coupon code for a discount) - https://eagle-research.com/product/ac50TT TELEGRAM LINKShttps://t.me/innerversepodcasthttps://t.me/innerversepodcastchat Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Robert Falconer is an author, researcher, therapist and advocate for Internal Family Systems (IFS).  For more than a decade Bob has devoted himself full-time to IFS work and believes it to be one of the most effective modes of therapy available. Bob recently published a new book titled When You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going and previously authored a book about IFS and unattached burdens, titled The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession. In our conversation we discussed Internal Family Systems (IFS), Richard “Dick” Schwartz, multiple personalities, subpersonalities, many minds, parts, trauma, healing, internal fighting, the Self, unattached burdens, guides, Charles Taylor, buffered self, the Citadel Theory of Mind, interoception, porous minds, Richard Dawkins, memes, Plato, evolution, spirituality, ego, imperialism, colonialism, Edward Edinger, relationships, protectors, exiles, firefighters, reactive protectors, the Hearing Voices Movement, suicide, polarization, wounded children, shamanism, EMDR, psychedelics, Jay Early, self therapy, personhood, Martin Luther King Jr, and somebodyness. Episode Details: Guest Name: Robert Falconer Website: https://robertfalconer.us/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robert.falconer.16 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobfalconerifs/ Youtube: https://youtube.com/@bobfalconer Gong Sound: 68261__juskiddink__bell4.wav Other Content from the Explorer Poet Download my latest writing: Myth for Modern Men: A Letter to My Son - https://explorerpoet.com/myth-for-modern-men/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theexplorerpoet/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheExplorerPoet Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIQxs0F0mGoEJYNNJx4ph5g  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Z9WKzUIWbq5qOJE1zmRJQ  Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-explorer-poet-podcast/id1621189025  Amazon: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/ead95bf9-2f53-4965-8c29-b787a198891c/the-explorer-poet-podcast  Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy85MmM5ZTY5NC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw?sa=X&ved=0CAMQ4aUDahcKEwjA6v_KhPn3AhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQLA

For the past decade or more Bob Falconer has devoted himself full-time to IFS work (Internal Family Systems Therapy). In that time he has attended all levels of IFS training offered, and has been a program assistant more than 18 times.Bob has been at many workshops and events with Richard Schwartz both as assistant and participant. In addition to studying with many of the other senior IFS trainers, He also co-authored a book with Richard Schwartz entitled, Many Minds, One Self.  For all of his therapeutic work, both professional and personal, Bob now uses IFS almost exclusively.Before this Bob used and explored many forms of therapy, starting with Ericksonian hypnotherapy which he studied with Carol Erickson. He received his master's degree and hypnotherapist certificate under her tutelage. Then he met and began studying with Jack and Helen Watkins, the creators of Ego State Therapy.Before beginning his graduate work, starting in 1971, Bob was involved with the Esalen Institute where he has attended more than 120 events and workshops. At Esalen Bob met and worked with many of the leaders of the human potential movement and focused on Gestalt Therapy mainly with Mariah Fenton Gladys and Christine Price. In the 80s and 90s Bob also studied codependency and addictions with Pia Mellody.His upcoming workshop will be on The Proposed Marriage of NVC & IFS which kicks off Friday May 24th at 10am PDThttps://robertfalconer.us/workshops/#nvcDon't forget to pick up a copy of his latest book, you won't regret it.When You're Going Through Hell ...Keep Going: Trauma, Healing, Spirit, and Internal Family Systems (Apr 2, 2024)https://amz.run/98NoThe Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (Apr 2, 2023)https://amz.run/98NnMany Minds, One Self: Evidence for a Radical Shift in Paradigm (Jan 1, 2017)https://amz.run/98NvIdentifying and Treating Youth Who Sexually Offend: Current Approaches, Techniques, and Research (Jan 2013)https://bityl.co/PUJAIdentifying and treating sex offenders: Current approaches, research, and techniques (Jan 2013)https://bityl.co/PUJBAdult Sexual Offenders: Current Issues and Future Directions (Feb 2003)https://bityl.co/PUJDA Man's Recovery from Traumatic Childhood Abuse: The Insiders (Mar 19, 2002)https://amz.run/98O2The Cost of Child Maltreatment: Who Pays? (2001)https://bityl.co/PUJaTrauma, Amnesia, and the Denial of Abuse (Jan 1, 1995)https://amz.run/98NwListen to our first conversation #106 Robert Falconer - Feb 26, 2023https://bityl.co/PUKC--Get in touch by sending a message to robinsmithshow@gmail.com or by calling the hotline at +1 (301) 458-0883Listeners of The Robin Smith Show can now become a supporter on Patreonpatreon.com/therobinsmithshowJoin Team Robley on Kiva and help expand financial access to underserved communities

How can you tell whether you're being challenged by a dark entity … or if the challenge is coming from one of your own wounded parts? I initially covered this topic In Episode 4 of this podcast, which I recorded way back in October 2022. Then, a year and a half later, one of my Awakening Plus members brought up this subject during one of our “Ask Us Anything” events.  Our conversation was so interesting that I based this 15-minute episode on it. (With my member's permission, of course.) I do say some similar things in both episodes, but there are plenty of fresh insights here. Join us to learn how to distinguish between dark entities and wounded parts … and deal with them effectively! CORRECTION: In this episode, I say that Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) tends not to speak openly about dark entities ("critters"). But I've since been alerted to a recent book by Robert Falconer called The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession. This book even has a foreword by Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS. I'm glad to see that the IFS community is now discussing dark entities more openly! Resources Free video: Instant Divine Assistance: Your Free Guide to Fast and Easy Awakening, Healing, and More. I lead you through all four types of my invocations! Check out my #1 Amazon bestseller: Instant Divine Assistance: Your Complete Guide to Fast and Easy Spiritual Awakening, Healing, and More.  Available as an audiobook narrated by yours truly. (FREE if you're not yet an Audible member!) Also available as an eBook, paperback, and hardcover starting at $3.99, and included with Kindle Unlimited. Every month, I give away a free one-year Awakening Plus membership to an “Awaken, Heal, and Thrive!” listener. Click here to enter! “Awakening Plus” online membership  

Robert Falconer, researcher at the University of Calgary School of Public Policy – Social Policy and Health Research Division, specializing in immigration Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trigger Warning: Sexual Abuse is discussed in this episode.  This new podcast episode is with Robert Falconer, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, teacher, and writer. He has worked with trauma survivors for a significant part of his career. His primary focus now is working with unattached burdens (UB), which is a term used in IFS therapy to refer to spirit possessions within a person. Robert also discusses legacy burdens, which refer to beliefs, energies, and emotions transferred across generations. To learn more about Robert Falconer, check out his website  www.robertfalconer.us and Bob Falconer IFS - YouTube Also check out his fantastic book "The Others Within Us" on Amazon.  Disclaimer: This podcast episode does not treat or diagnose any physical or mental health condition. This episode does not substitute for health care or mental health services of any kind.  Click here to buy my self-published book "INNER CHILD MEDITATION JOURNAL: 21-Day Guide to Connect With Your Inner Child Daily" To stay informed about upcoming episodes and special events/offerings, SIGN UP for our Newsletter.  Please feel free to send me an email to rosa.c.shetty@gmail.com and share your thoughts about it, to collaborate, and to nominate yourself or others as a guest for this show. legacyburdens spiritpossessions unattachedburdens IFS Internalfamilysystems generational trauma

In today's episode I am joined by IFS practitioner, teacher, and author Robert Falconer as we discuss in depth his passion for guides and past lives.    Topics Discussed Include: 1. Bob Announces his new book, "When You're Going Through Hell, Keep Going" 2. What is porous mind vs. citadel mind 3. Connecting with guides with the constraint release model of IFS 4. The tools of discernment: Distinguishing between unattached burdens and guides 5. The different ways we can experience guides 6. Ways to connect with guides: Writing with your guide. The path meditation. 7. Bob leads a guided meditation to bring awareness to blockages/constraints, guides, UB's, and parts. 8. What are past lives? and the studies done to showcase proof of past life experiences in children 9. The impacts of our past lives and how to release the burdens attached 10. The benefits of bringing awareness to past lives   Robert Falconer is best known for his deep involvement with Internal Family Systems therapy as a practitioner, teacher, and writer. For much of his long career he has focused on the healing of childhood sexual abuse and other major trauma. He now is focused on placing IFS in a multicultural and historical context and working with the others within us - what we find in our minds that is not part of our systems, called unattached burdens and guides in IFS.   Bob has come to recognize and appreciate that how we conceive of ourselves and the boundaries of our minds is vitally important not only as a major cause of personal suffering but also as an underlying factor in many of our modern social problems. His new book, The Others Within Us, gives a clear description of how to work with unattached burdens and guides, as it explores the farther reaches and wider implications of this subject.   Bob Falconer: Website: https://robertfalconer.us/ The Others Within Us book link: https://www.amazon.com/Others-Within-Us-Possession-Paperback/dp/B0C5P5HK35/ref=sr_1_1?crid=QFBVH855067W&keywords=the+others+within+us&qid=1706647319&sprefix=the+others+within+us%2Caps%2C131&sr=8-1 Past Lives Workshop Link: https://ifsca.ticketleap.com/pastlives/   Natalie Deering:  Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/     -IFS therapy and consultation Email: ndwellness.services@therapysecure.com Instagram: @nataliedeering   Interested in sponsoring an episode of the podcast? Upgrade your brand and let more people know about your amazing services or products by reaching hundreds to thousands of people by sponsoring an episode for only $100!  Please email ndwellness.services@therapysecure.com for more information.  Thank you for your support!    *Please support the podcast by following, rating, and leaving a review*  

Sit back and relax as Bob Falconer guides you through a meditation to bring awareness to Self-energy, guides, unattached burdens, and parts.   Bob suggests that after you engage in this meditation to draw an outline of your body on a sheet of paper, and to draw (with colors preferably) whatever you saw or sensed during the meditation in, on, and around your body.   Enjoy!    Note: Meditation modified from William Baldwin

This December, I want to feature some of my favorite interviews from this year.  The second episode I'm re-releasing is my conversation with Robert (Bob) Falconer about his book, "The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession".    Bob is an IFS practitioner, teacher, and writer.  For the major part of his career he worked with trauma survivors, now focusing on the study and treatment of the others within us, also known as unattached burdens, or UB's for short. We discuss his ten years of work that went into his new book, the history of unattached burdens within his career, case studies that impacted his understanding about UB's, the controversy surrounding UB's, and the seven steps on how to address UB's within someone's system.    This episode was a big deal for me to be able to sit with Bob and have this discussion, and I am honored that Bob will be joining me again on the podcast in 2024 to discuss spirit guides and past lives. Stay tuned!    Enjoy!  ________________________________ Robert Falconer: Website: https://robertfalconer.us/ Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/Others-Within-Us-Internal-Possession/dp/B0C12JXVBJ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1WMFC34W8ZF6H&keywords=robert+falconer%27s+book+the+others+within&qid=1701973149&sprefix=the+others+within%2Caps%2C108&sr=8-1 _______________________________ Natalie Deering: Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/ Email: ndwellness.services@therapysecure.com Text: (859) 320-0865 Instagram: @nataliedeering   *If you liked this episode, please follow, rate, and leave a review!*  

Robin rambles about doing an IFS session with the legendary Robert Falconer, shares some tracks from the Very Small while reminiscing fondly, and solicits help from listeners to identify a "lame grocery store" song.The Worst Form of Violence Music VideoPB & JCheck out Sarah Boone's Mental Health Hiking GroupThe Fall Mental Health Hiking Group will explore the gifts and the challenges of the transition to the fall season. We will learn from nature and explore the tensions of the season through hiking coupled with meaningful connection to one's self and to others. Each hike will provide a respite from the feeling of always being ‘switched-on', helping to decrease symptoms related to anxiety and depression. WHEN: 9:00-10:30 am, 90 minutes (Sundays- September 10, 17, 24 and October 1) Participants are asked to commit to at least 3 weeks if possible.WHERE: Locations in Rock Creek Park (DC side)FEE: $320 for the series; $100 must be paid in advance to secure your spot.https://www.sarahboonecounseling.com/retreatsworkshops--Get in touch by sending a message to robinsmithshow@gmail.com or by calling the hotline at +1 (301) 458-0883Listeners of The Robin Smith Show can now become a supporter on Patreonpatreon.com/therobinsmithshowJoin Team Robley on Kiva and help expand financial access to underserved communities

Today I interview Bob Falconer about his new book, The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (Great Mystery Press, 2023). Falconer's book is the result of a decade-long journey to understand a phenomenon that raises questions not only about how we, as a contemporary Western culture, understand ourselves. It's also a challenge to the limits of how we understand—the models of self and mind that we assume to be true. In The Others Within Us, Falconer offers a paradigm-shifting vision of what it means to be human and how therapists who work within the model of Internal Family Systems can help to relieve human suffering. Falconer offers both a methodology for therapists as well as an intellectual and transcultural history of the farther reaches of our inner worlds. Falconer himself is a long-time practitioner and trainer of Internal Family Systems (or IFS) and has previously co-written a book with the founder of the IFS model, Richard Schwartz, entitled Many Minds, One Self. Enjoy my conversation with Bob Falconer. Show notes: * Interview with Richard Schwartz * Interview with Tanya Luhrmann Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/psychoanalysis

Today I interview Bob Falconer about his new book, The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (Great Mystery Press, 2023). Falconer's book is the result of a decade-long journey to understand a phenomenon that raises questions not only about how we, as a contemporary Western culture, understand ourselves. It's also a challenge to the limits of how we understand—the models of self and mind that we assume to be true. In The Others Within Us, Falconer offers a paradigm-shifting vision of what it means to be human and how therapists who work within the model of Internal Family Systems can help to relieve human suffering. Falconer offers both a methodology for therapists as well as an intellectual and transcultural history of the farther reaches of our inner worlds. Falconer himself is a long-time practitioner and trainer of Internal Family Systems (or IFS) and has previously co-written a book with the founder of the IFS model, Richard Schwartz, entitled Many Minds, One Self. Enjoy my conversation with Bob Falconer. Show notes: * Interview with Richard Schwartz * Interview with Tanya Luhrmann Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

Today I interview Bob Falconer about his new book, The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (Great Mystery Press, 2023). Falconer's book is the result of a decade-long journey to understand a phenomenon that raises questions not only about how we, as a contemporary Western culture, understand ourselves. It's also a challenge to the limits of how we understand—the models of self and mind that we assume to be true. In The Others Within Us, Falconer offers a paradigm-shifting vision of what it means to be human and how therapists who work within the model of Internal Family Systems can help to relieve human suffering. Falconer offers both a methodology for therapists as well as an intellectual and transcultural history of the farther reaches of our inner worlds. Falconer himself is a long-time practitioner and trainer of Internal Family Systems (or IFS) and has previously co-written a book with the founder of the IFS model, Richard Schwartz, entitled Many Minds, One Self. Enjoy my conversation with Bob Falconer. Show notes: * Interview with Richard Schwartz * Interview with Tanya Luhrmann Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/psychology

Today I interview Bob Falconer about his new book, The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (Great Mystery Press, 2023). Falconer's book is the result of a decade-long journey to understand a phenomenon that raises questions not only about how we, as a contemporary Western culture, understand ourselves. It's also a challenge to the limits of how we understand—the models of self and mind that we assume to be true. In The Others Within Us, Falconer offers a paradigm-shifting vision of what it means to be human and how therapists who work within the model of Internal Family Systems can help to relieve human suffering. Falconer offers both a methodology for therapists as well as an intellectual and transcultural history of the farther reaches of our inner worlds. Falconer himself is a long-time practitioner and trainer of Internal Family Systems (or IFS) and has previously co-written a book with the founder of the IFS model, Richard Schwartz, entitled Many Minds, One Self. Enjoy my conversation with Bob Falconer. Show notes: * Interview with Richard Schwartz * Interview with Tanya Luhrmann Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/systems-and-cybernetics

Today I interview Bob Falconer about his new book, The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession (Great Mystery Press, 2023). Falconer's book is the result of a decade-long journey to understand a phenomenon that raises questions not only about how we, as a contemporary Western culture, understand ourselves. It's also a challenge to the limits of how we understand—the models of self and mind that we assume to be true. In The Others Within Us, Falconer offers a paradigm-shifting vision of what it means to be human and how therapists who work within the model of Internal Family Systems can help to relieve human suffering. Falconer offers both a methodology for therapists as well as an intellectual and transcultural history of the farther reaches of our inner worlds. Falconer himself is a long-time practitioner and trainer of Internal Family Systems (or IFS) and has previously co-written a book with the founder of the IFS model, Richard Schwartz, entitled Many Minds, One Self. Enjoy my conversation with Bob Falconer. Show notes: * Interview with Richard Schwartz * Interview with Tanya Luhrmann Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/book-of-the-day

Our growing ability to engineer biology with automation, Artificial Intelligence (AI) and data analytics is driving a biomanufacturing revolution.This wide-ranging session looks at some of the most cutting-edge developments, from space ag's push to enable long term space habitation and sustainability on Earth, to the fermentation advancements driving the wineries of the future, and new processing technology in dry fractionation for plant protein.Brought to you by evokeAG Partner, The University of Adelaide, this workshop "Next gen: biomanufacturing for Earth, sustainability and space" was facilitated by Lieke van der Hulst, Executive Offer, Waite Research Institute and features four of the uni's brightest minds.We hope you enjoy these presentations from: Professor Rachel Burton, Head of the Food Science Department, Professor Vladimir Jiranek from the School of Agriculture, Food and Wine, Robert Falconer, a Professor of Bioprocess Engineering and Associate Professor Jenny Mortimer, an expert in Plant Synthetic Biology in the School of Agriculture, Food and Wine. evokeAG 2023 examined how global agrifood innovation and tech intersect to drive change for our food, farmers, and the natural resources which sustain them. Save the date for evokeAG 2024 on 20-21 February 2024 in Perth, Western Australia. In the meantime catch up on the other conversations about sustainability, climate resilience and the role of agtech in meeting those challenges from evokeAG 2023 here.

Today on Explorations in Psychotherapy, we are welcoming IFS practitioner, teacher, and author, Mr. Robert Falconer. Bob has an undergraduate degree in cultural anthropology, with a focus on the history of religions, and a Master's degree in psychology. Bob has been extensively trained in multiple therapeutic modalities, but he has devoted himself to the Internal Family Systems model for over 10 years, as he has found it to be the most compassionate and potent way to work with severe trauma. At this point in his career, he is increasingly focused on the spiritual dimensions of healing. He has published 7 books and co-edited four. Today, we will be speaking with him about his new book, which represents the culmination of decades of in-depth research, calledThe Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession.

Today on Explorations in Psychotherapy, we are welcoming IFS practitioner, teacher, and author, Mr. Robert Falconer. Bob has an undergraduate degree in cultural anthropology, with a focus on the history of religions, and a Master's degree in psychology. Bob has been extensively trained in multiple therapeutic modalities, but he has devoted himself to the Internal Family Systems model for over 10 years, as he has found it to be the most compassionate and potent way to work with severe trauma. At this point in his career, he is increasingly focused on the spiritual dimensions of healing. He has published 7 books and co-edited four. Today, we will be speaking with him about his new book, which represents the culmination of decades of in-depth research, calledThe Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession.

In this episode, Natalie is joined by Robert Falconer.  Bob is an IFS practitioner, teacher, and writer.  For the major part of his career he worked with trauma survivors, now focusing on the study and treatment of the others within us, also known as unattached burdens, or UB's for short. We discuss his ten years of work going into his new book, The Others Within Us: Internal Family Systems, Porous Mind, and Spirit Possession.    In this episode Bob talks about the history of unattached burdens within his career, case studies that impacted his understanding about UB's, the controversy surrounding UB's, and the seven steps he writes about in his new book The Others Within Us in which he talks about how to address UB's within someone's system.    Robert Falconer: Website: https://robertfalconer.us/   Natalie Deering: Website: https://www.ndwellnessservices.com/ Instagram: @nataliedeering

Robin rambles about Chris Rock's new special, 'Selective Outrage', locking keys inside of a hotrod, Starbucks' poverty of decaf options, being voted smelliest in the family, and shares some more tunes from Momentary Prophets' second album, Mandala. Also, there is a reason why Robert Falconer's episode shot to the top of the charts in the show's history of most downloaded episode of all time. You should go listen to it.--Get in touch by sending a message to robinsmithshow@gmail.com or by calling the hotline at +1 (301) 458-0883Listeners of The Robin Smith Show can now become a supporter on Patreonpatreon.com/therobinsmithshowJoin Team Robley on Kiva and help expand financial access to underserved communities

For over a decade Robert Falconer has devoted himself full-time to IFS work (Internal Family Systems Therapy). In that time he has attended all levels of IFS training offered, and has been a program assistant many times. Bob has been at many workshops and events with Richard Schwartz both as assistant and participant. In addition to studying with many of the other senior IFS trainers, He also co-authored a book with Richard Schwartz - Many Minds, One Self, and he is now in the process of publishing his new book on IFS, Unattached Burdens and much more. It will be entitled: The Others Within Us: IFS Therapy, Porous Mind and Spirit Possession.Learn more about Bob and his work:https://robertfalconer.us/Check out one of Bob's courses on this subject: The Farther Reaches of IFS: Unattached Burdens and Guides Hearing Voices Networkhttps://www.hearing-voices.org/Swedenborg Foundationhttps://swedenborg.com/International Spiritist Councilhttps://cei-spiritistcouncil.com/?lang=en--Get in touch by sending a message to robinsmithshow@gmail.com or by calling the hotline at +1 (301) 458-0883Listeners of The Robin Smith Show can now become a supporter on Patreonpatreon.com/therobinsmithshowJoin Team Robley on Kiva and help expand financial access to underserved communities

Robin rambles about wading into deeper waters of human consciousness and discussing this with upcoming guest, Robert Falconer, the Romeo and Juliet ballet performance, the feuding families of the U.S. congress, and shares a couple of tracks from Momentary Prophets.--Get in touch by sending a message to robinsmithshow@gmail.com or by calling the hotline at +1 (301) 458-0883Listeners of The Robin Smith Show can now become a supporter on Patreonpatreon.com/therobinsmithshowJoin Team Robley on Kiva and help expand financial access to underserved communities

Summary:  In this episode, we review the many ways we fail to love ourselves, through self-hatred and through indifference toward ourselves.  We discuss the ways that unlove for self manifests itself, contrasting a lack of love with ordered self-love through the lens of Bernard Brady's five characteristics of love.  We discuss the impact of a lack of self-love on your body.  I then invite you into an experiential exercise to get to know a part of you that is not loving either another part of you or your body.   Lead-In “Mourn not the dead that in the cool earth lie--Dust unto dust--The calm, sweet earth that mothers all who dieAs all men must; Mourn not your captive comrades who must dwell--Too strong to strive--Within each steel-bound coffin of a cell,Buried alive; But rather mourn the apathetic throng--The cowed and the meek--Who see the world's great anguish and its wrongAnd dare not speak!”― Ralph Chaplin, Bars And Shadows Intro I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and this is the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcasts, coming to you from the Souls and Hearts Studio in Indianapolis, Indiana.   This podcast is all about bringing you the best of psychology and human formation and harmonizing it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.  In this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast, we take the most important human formation issues head on, without trepidation, without hesitation -- we don't mince words as we directly address with the most important concerns in the natural realm, the absolute central issues that we need to address with all of our energy and all of our resources.   We have been working through a series on trauma and well-being -- starting with episode 88.  In the last episode, episode 96, I Am a Rock: How Trauma Hardens us Against Being Loved -- we discussed the impact of trauma on us accepting love from others, including God.   In this episode, we're addressing how trauma sets us up to refuse to love ourselves.  Welcome to Episode 97 of Interior Integration for Catholics, titled "Unlove of Self:  How Trauma Predisposes You to Self-Hatred and Indifference"  It's released on September 5, 2022.   It is so good to be with you, thank you for listening in and for being together with me once again.  I'm glad we are here and that we are exploring the great unlove of self.   The great unlove for self -- like the uncola ads from 7-UP in the late 60s throughout the 70s and 80, even into the late 90s. What does unlove of self mean -- OK, I get it that it's refusing to love myself -- but what does that mean?   You might tell me that if I don't love myself, then I am hating myself.   All right.  Let's go with that.  Let's explore self-hatred and self-loathing  Define self-hatred Self-hatred is hatred directed toward oneself rather than toward others  Verywellmind.com article titled "Self-loathing" by Jodi Clarke, a licensed professional counselor  Self-loathing, or self-hatred, is extreme criticism of oneself. It may feel as though nothing you do is good enough or that you are unworthy or undeserving of good things in life. Self-hate can feel like having a person following you around, all day every day, criticizing you and pointing out every flaw, or shaming you for every mistake.   Brennan Manning  In my experience, self-hatred is the dominant malaise crippling Christians and stifling their growth in the Holy Spirit. Not sure I agree with that -- depends on the definitions.  Shame and the fear of shame overwhelming the self are such drivers of self hatred.   Angel Ploetner, Who Am I? Dissociative Identity Disorder Survivor “Shame plays a huge part in why you hate who you are.” Shame is so central  Check out episodes 37 to 49 of this podcast for a whole series on shame.    Eric Hoffer It is not love of self but hatred of self which is at the root of the troubles that afflict our world. Basil W. Maturin  We never get to love by hate, least of all by self-hatred.  Lori Deschene  “We can't hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” The primary way we hate ourselves -- for parts of you to hate other parts of you.  I am talking about intra-psychic hatred.  Hatred within you, for you, by you.   IFS description of the self Reference Episode 71: A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others  Definition of Parts:  Parts are like separate, independently operating personalities within you, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in your life, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has a different attitude or position toward other parts of you and different beliefs and assumptions about your body.  Robert Falconer calls these parts insiders.   Like in the movie Inside Out.  Your parts have different roles within your self-system.   Your parts have a very narrow, limited vision when they are not in right relationship with your innermost self.  Each of your parts usually has a strong agenda, something that they trying to accomplish, some good that that part is seeking for you.    Polarizations  Examples of polarizations in the most recent weekly reflection -- The Counterfeits of Self-Giving from August 31,2022.  How parts get polarized around the idea of giving of self Compliant surrenderer vs. feisty protector  Self-sacrificer vs. rebel  Check that out.   Bessel van der Kolk, in his excellent book "The Body Keeps the Score" devotes all of chapter 17 to Internal Family Systems.  Very accessible book, I've recommended it before to many non-clinicians.  There's a reason it has been the top selling book on trauma for the last seven years running.  A book like that comes around once in a generation.  In 1992, It was Judith Herman's seminal book Trauma and Recovery.  23 years later, it was The Body Keeps the Score.   To examine Unlove, we are going to contrast unloving with loving.  Let's review the five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady, his 2003 Christian Love: How Christians through the Ages have Understood Love.-- drawing heavily from the work of Christian phenomenologists.  I introduced his five characteristics of in Episode 94, The Primacy of Love and I expanded on them in Episode 95 Trauma's Devastating Impact on our Capacity to Love.  Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.  Those are the five characteristics of love that Bernard Brady distilled from his historical review of how Christians have seen love through the ages.  Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.  So let's break down what happens when one part of you is hating another part of you.   Love is affective -- love is emotional Love rejoices in the beloved -- Protestant Theologian R.H. Neibuhr writes in his 1977  By love, we mean at least these attitudes and actions: rejoicing in the presence of the beloved, gratitude, reverence, and loyalty toward him.  p.35   Many positive emotions are associated with love Delight, Bliss, Happiness  A sense of fulfillment  Warmth, appreciation   What does hatred or loathing for another part look like?  How do parts hate each other? Self hatred is also affective -- it's also emotional.  But in a very different way that ordered self-love is.   Disgust regarding the another part  Anger toward another part  Contempt for the body -- anger + disgust = contempt  Example:  Let's say there is a fearful part of you that is very frightened of public speaking – of making presentations in front of other people. And now, for your work, you are required to make an important presentation in front of your supervisors and more senior executives within your company. Another part of you, your perfectionistic part, has led you to rehearse your presentation, to the point where you almost have it memorized. Your last performance in front of your bedroom mirror was so good. But now, in front of your audience, your fearful part locks you up. You find yourself stuttering, stammering, and your inner critic is a railing in hatred against your fearful part. That inner critic is saying things like, "Why are you such a sniveling frightened little coward? It's just a simple presentation, dumb ass, we've practiced it over and over, we have it down.  Get yourself together, this is really important, and you are screwing it up and making us all look bad.  Who knows what will happen if we can't pull this off." The more intense your inner critic gets in its hateful attack on your fearful part, the more the fearful part freezes.  After the presentation ends, the inner critic continues to bash the fearful part, ruminating about how poor the presentation was.   Love is affirming Love says yes to the other at the same time as love says yes to oneself.  In parts thinking, there is a open-hearted yes to all the parts.  Not just some parts, not just the "acceptable" parts of us.  All part are welcome to the table.   In self-hatred, one or more parts attack the unloved part -- not just superficially, but they hating parts go after the identity of the unloved part the self-hating parts want to destroy the hated part, or at least banish the hated part from having a voice, from having a seat at the table  In our example, you can see how the inner critic is trying to get rid of the fearful part, trying to suppress that part with its fear.    From Jodi Clarke's Verywellmind.com article:  Typical self-hating thoughts may include:     "I knew we would fail."       "Why do I even try?"     "I'm a loser."     "No one wants to be around me."     "Look at me screwing up again."     "Can't I just be normal?"     "I hate myself." Richard Bach   The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we're afraid.  When other people affirm the person who is dominated by a self-hating part, the affirmation doesn't really sink in.  It doesn't work.  The person all caught up in self hatred can't hear the affirmation, can't take the affirmation in.  Richey Edwards  “People say to the mentally ill, ‘You know so many people think the world of you.' But when they don't like themselves they don't notice anything. They don't care about what people think of them. When you hate yourself, whatever people say it doesn't make sense. ‘Why do they like me? Why do they care about me?' Because you don't care about yourself at all.”   Love is responsive:  Love is an active response for the well-being of the other.  It's about participating in the promotion of the highest good for the other, potential for the other How can I help you to flourish?  How can I help you toward your highest good?   In self-hatred one or more parts tear down the hated part.  There is a response to the hated part, but it's not a positive one.   Rather than attuning to the hated part, the hating parts seek to silence it and suppress it without really getting to know the hated part.  Not interested in the hated part's experience -- why the hated part thinks, feels or assumes what it does.   In our example, the inner critic is responsive to the fear of the fearful part, but in hateful way -- seeing the fearful part as counterproductive and threatening the wellbeing of the whole person, and thus feels justified in the bullying, heavy-handed approach taken.   Love is unitive  Bernard Brady:  The fruit of love is unity.  Love unites.  It is in the very nature of love to bring together.  p. 279 Hatred divides.  It polarizes within.  The fearful part and the inner critic have no common ground because of the hatred.   Hatred fragments within.  It shatters the self.  Order self love helps to integrate all the parts, providing space for all parts to be seen, heard known, and loved. Love integrates parts, inviting them into a collaborative, cooperative relationship with the innermost self and with all the other parts.  We give this internal unity a special name -- interior integration.  That is what this podcast is all about.  Interior integration for Catholics.   Love is steadfast Steadfastness in self-love requires acceptance of all parts for there to be resilience.  Hatred contributes to the inner system of the self being brittle and fragile.     Hatred doesn't generally come from our innermost selves  Self:  The natural core of the person, the center of the person in the natural realm.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.  Unharmed by trauma, by attachment injuries, by relational wounds, by negative life experiences.   Catholics don't believe in John Calvin's concept of total depravity, that we are sinful and morally corrupt through and through.  Catholics don't believe we are snow-covered dung heaps, like Martin Luther taught.  We are still ontologically good, still made in the image and likeness of God.   We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm  Curiosity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity   We also have the capacity for kindness The only exception:  unless we've committed the unforgivable sin, blaspheming against the Holy Spirit  CCC 1864:  “There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss” (No. 1864). Repudiating life, love, truth, mercy, forgiveness -- irrevocably, through hardness of heart.  That is possible, or Jesus would not have warned against it.  Walking dead.   What does self-hatred mean for our relationships with our body? We are body and soul composites.  We are embodied beings.   Bessel van der Kolk:  The Body Keeps the Score -- groundbreaking work summarizing how much trauma becomes embodied  Another way for you to hate yourself  -- or more specifically, for a part of you to hate your body.   Examples of actively hating the body  Active examples 4 Extreme cases -- starting with extreme cases -- Suicidal Acts, Body Dysmporphic Disorder, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, Self-Harm (aka Self-mutilation).   Suicidal acts -- I did a whole series on suicide in this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast.  Episodes 76-80 Suicidal part -- desperately seeking relief from intense pain and distress   Other Reason -- these are the core reasons. -- review them in episode 76 and got into how parts are active around suicide in episode 78 The Desperate Inner Experience of Suicidality  Attachment needs not met -- Episode 62 A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones  Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement  Felt comfort, reassurance  Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure  Felt support for the best self   Integrity Needs not met All of the above.  Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity  I exist  my existence is separate from others --  I exist in my own right, a separate personIs bounded, has boundaries  My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity  I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control.   Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion  Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world  Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions.   I can make sense of my experience and the world around me  Mission and Purpose in life  We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in life   Body dysmorphic disorder   Appearance preoccupations: The individual must be preoccupied with one or more nonexistent or slight defects or flaws in their physical appearance. Verbally abusing the body Body shaming yourself -- a part of you calling your body fat, ugly, physically unattractive, calling your body out on the perceived unattractive features -- my eyes are too far apart, my lips are too thin, my skin is too bumpy, and what about that zit that just appeared.   Repetitive behaviors: The individual must perform repetitive, compulsive behaviors in response to the appearance concerns.  Behaviors: mirror checking, excessive grooming, skin picking, reassurance seeking, or clothes changing.  mental acts such as a part of you comparing one's appearance with that of other people.   -- getting on tiktok and saying, that person's body is so gorgeous and I'm a just a pig.  Ruminating about what others have said about your body or what they might say about your body.  Sometimes it's all just in the realm of fantasy.   Differentiation from an eating disorder: Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) is a rare, infrequently studied and highly secretive condition in which there is a mismatch between the mental body image and the physical body. Subjects suffering from BIID have an intense desire to amputate a major limb or severe the spinal cord in order to become paralyzed or to become blind or deaf. Self-harm  or self-mutilation, sometimes called cutting Really not understood well by most people -- dismissed as something only a crazy person would do.   It's a symptom.   Forms include Cutting  Burning or branding, scalding with hot water  Picking at the skin, reopening wounds or severe scratching  Carving the skin  Trichotillomania   Head banging Hitting oneself Biting oneself Self-poisoning Self-starvation (deliberate) Getting into fights Reasons for Self Harm  The Punished Self, the Unknown Self, and the Harmed Self – Toward a More Nuanced Understanding of Self-Harm Among Adolescent Girls -- August 2021 Frontiers in Psychology Norwegian researcher Line Indrevoll Stänicke1 -- Qualitative Study of 19 adolescent girls  Superordinate themes “I deserve pain,”  “I don't want to feel anything,”  “I'm harmed, and no one cares.”  “I deserve pain,”  “I don't want to feel anything,”  “I'm harmed, and no one cares.”  8 Reasons for Self-harm Desire to release unbearable tension or providing relief from overwhelming emotions  At times [self-harm] also silenced the chaos in my head, briefly pausing the repetitive flashbacks and body memories."  Desire to regain control  Fighting depersonalization -- "Self-harm proved to me I was real, I was alive.  (mind.org.uk)   Numbness can feel like death -- need to feel anything at all.   Self-hatred  Feeling the need to self-punish "I hated my body and blamed it for what I'd been through, so felt it needed punishing. (mind.org.uk) Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia   “I wanted to kill the me underneath. That fact haunted my days and nights. When you realize you hate yourself so much, when you realize that you cannot stand who you are, and this deep spite has been the motivation behind your behavior for many years, your brain can't quite deal with it. It will try very hard to avoid that realization; it will try, in a last-ditch effort to keep your remaining parts alive, to remake the rest of you. This is, I believe, different from the suicidal wish of those who are in so much pain that death feels like relief, different from the suicide I would later attempt, trying to escape that pain. This is a wish to murder yourself; the connotation of kill is too mild. This is a belief that you deserve slow torture, violent death.”  Blaming your body for others' actions romantic partner breaking up with you -- not attractive enough  Being raped -- hating body because it attracted unwanted attention of the rapist.   To express pain, communicate or share the internal experience to others, to make visible what is felt within.   A way to distract from some worse experience, e.g. intrusive thoughts.   Association with others who self-harm -- peer group.   Five general characteristics of love from Bernard Brady -- looking at how they contrast with parts' hatred for the body.  Love is affective -- love is emotional Hatred regarding the body  Disgust regarding the body  Anger toward the body  Fear of the body  Contempt for the body -- anger + disgust = contempt  Fueled by envy of other people's bodies.   Love is affirming  Devaluing the body -- Body Shaming Seeing the body as evil   De-facto Manicheanism All matter are seen as evil -- including our bodies  St. Augustine adhered to Manicheanism for a while before his conversion, and then strongly refuted it.   Hatred of the body.   Love is responsive And love is responsive to the body's legitimate needs.   or ignored.  In self-hatred toward the body, those needs are condemned  Love is unitive Can be a kind of separation of the body from the self.  I am not my body.  This is not by body.   Love is steadfast   So that is self-hatred.  But self-hatred isn't actually the most common or important form of failing to love the self.   What is the most common and most important failure to love the self?  The great sin against the self, if you will? Indifference.  The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.  “The Beloved Ego: Foundations of the New Study of the Psyche” by prominent Austrian psychologist Wilhelm Stekel. The text was translated from German into English by Rosalie Gabler and published in 1921.  The quote was expanded and made famous by Nobel Laureate Elie Wiesel in a 1986 US News and World Report article The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.   Indifference is so, so common.  We can be so indifferent to ourselves and to others. ― David Mitchell  “The world's default mode is basic indifference. It'd like to care, but it's just got too much on at the moment.”  Aristotle “Tolerance and apathy are the last virtues of a dying society.”     W. Somerset Maugham British playwright, novelist, short story writer The tragedy of love is indifference Catholic philosopher Peter Kreeft wrote in his book Prayer for Beginners that Indifference is more truly the opposite of love than hate is, for we can both love and hate the same person at the same time, but we cannot both love and be indifferent to the same person at the same time What does indifference to the self mean to the parts The biggest form of unlove -- indifference.   Define indifference --  an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical, virtual, or physical life.   and the world. not caring about oneself.  Disregarding oneself, Abandoning oneself, not caring about oneself. Wait a minute, Dr. Peter -- I thought that was what we Catholics were called to do.  Being dead or numb to oneself  Evil is the absence of good (privatio boni) -- privation theory of evil --  this idea was implicit in some of Plato's writings, but he never stated it implicitly   Plotinus further developed the idea And St. Augustine really refined it.  City of God:  For evil has no positive nature; but the loss of good has received the name “evil.” Examples of indifference to the parts  Lack of awareness Parts disconnected from the self or fused with the self have very partial vision      Lack of caring Make up some examples here.   Five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.   Love is affective -- love is emotional Apathy toward the parts.  Not caring about them, not interested.  Parts pursuing their own agendas inside with little regard for the wellbeing of others parts.   Trauma begins in terror but ends in apathy.”  ― Brian W. Becker ― Khang Kijarro Nguyen  “Apathy is as dangerous, invisible, and contagious as an asymptomatic virus carrier.” “Apathy is a silent killer.” ― Frank Sonnenberg,     Love is affirming “The stronger you cling to your armor of indifference, the more it strips you of your humanity.” ― Abhijit Naskar, No Foreigner Only Family    Love is responsive “there are people capable of eating popcorn at the movie of your agony”― StephanieR oberts, Rushes from the River Disappointment   Nina MacLaughlin, Wake, Siren: Ovid Resung  “His eyes they held the most dangerous thing, they held the top of the sins. Indifference. Indifference. A vacancy where human care should be."  “We may not choose apathy, but when we choose anything other than love and empathetic justice, we get apathy by default.”― Ken Wytsma,  Love is unitive Love is never fragmented; it's an inseparable whole which does not delight in bits and pieces. John A. Andrews  Love is steadfast Polarizations lead to tension inside and instability   What does indifference to the self mean to the body Bessel van der Kolk:  … traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: the past is alive in the form of annoying interior discomforts. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and in an attempt to control these processes, the often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings in a numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from themselves.   Examples of indifference to the body  Lack of awareness Parts disconnected from the self or fused with the self have very partial vision   Less extreme, passive examples of indifference to the body -- we've all done at least some of these.   Problematic eating or drinking Too much caffeine (hooked on energy drinks or coffee)  Misuse of alcohol  Overeating  Too much sugar  Too much junk food  Eating to soothe oneself when upset, sometimes called emotional eating  Eating when bored  Skipping meals   Smoking Not exercising at all -- too little physical activity -- or too much exercise Poor ergonomics Overdoing the screen time -- 10 hours a day on the computer is hard on the eyes Low activity levels  9.3 hours of sitting per day, more than 7.7 hours of sleeping today Not going outside Allowing yourself to get really sunburned or dehydrated or exhausted Not using the bathroom when you need to Poor clothing choices -- not bundling up in winter -- the man in the hoodie when it's 15 degrees out in wintertime, woman wearing high heels when it's not a good choice,  Misuse of the smartphone -- using your smartphone in bed Poor sleep habits, going to bed too late Misuse of sex -- not caring for your body in sexual situations.   Not getting medical or dental care for your body that would be good and right ignoring a treatable condition  Ignoring symptoms   Poor hygiene Five general characteristics of love -- from Bernard Brady Love is affective, love is affirming, love is responsive, love is unitive, love is steadfast.   Love is affective -- love is emotional Indifference to the body.  Just not caring about the body, apathy toward the body.  Looking at only the utilitarian functionality of the body.  The body as a container or vessel for your mind or soul or psyche.     Love is affirming -- indifference to the body can mimic detachment or poverty Love is responsive -- Lack of awareness about the body.  Very disconnected.   La belle indifference:  The term “la belle indifference” is a French term, which translates to “beautiful ignorance.”[1] La belle indifference is defined as a paradoxical absence of psychological distress despite having a serious medical illness or symptoms related to a health condition. Not being interested in your body.  Love is unitive Not seeing your body is part of you, disconnecting from your body Love is steadfast 1 Cor 3:16-17.   Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If any one destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are.   Experiential Exercise on Unlove -- the failure to love  Cautions difficult material -- how and why we don't love ourselves.   window of tolerance Upside -- Fight or flight, sympathetic activation  Downside -- Free response -- dorsal vagal activation, shutting down, numbing out,  don't have to do this exercise, can stop at any time, reground yourself  no steamrolling parts  Good to do this exercise when you have the time and space and privacy -- not while driving or engaging in other activities that would require you to divide your attention.   Options Take what is useful to you  Feel free to go your own direction if that seems what's best  Feel free to pause the audio and really settle in and do extended work inside if that seems best  Can have pens, pencils and paper to write down things that are helpful -- like a journal -- or to map out things, draw if that's helpful.  Can pause the recording at points where you would like to have more time to do your internal work.   A lot of gentleness with and for yourself.  Moment here for your to really care for yourself.   Luke 10:27 Love your neighbor as yourself -- we are supposed to love ourselves in an ordered way And that means loving the parts of ourself that are in need.  With care and compassion If you get distracted, that's ok, that's common.  You can just refocus, or if that's not possible, then focus in on that distraction -- get curious about why a part of you needs to distract you.   Body scan -- locating -- finding. -- Call that a trailhead Tension in muscles  Stomach pain or gastrointestinal distress  Headaches  Fatigue   Could be other trailheads Images or dreams that come back to mind  Memories, sounds, beliefs or assumptions   Focus in on that one sensation or inner experience that reflects some kind of distress or agitation about you not loving you.   That experience will lead you to a part -- we will call the part you are focusing on, your target part.  A part that is not loving some other part of you in some way Your target part Might be hating another part of you  Your target part Might just not be caring about another part of you.   Your target part Might be trying to suppress or silence that other part.   Listen in to what that experience, that body sensation or that impulse or desire or image or memory or belief. Really notice that target part.  How do you experience it?  Let's see if we can work with one part at a time.  You can do this reflection and guided exercise over again with multiple parts if you'd like.  But see if your parts inside can agree to let you work with one part.   We are going to ask that one part not to flood you with its intensity.  That's a safety thing.  We are asking that part not to overwhelm you with its distress.  We want to be separate but near, so that you as the self can have a relationship with that part.  If your target part fuses with you or blends with you, you can't have a relationship.  See if that part will agree not to overwhelm.  Just ask it.  See what the response is.  If it agrees, then  Really sense that part.  See that part or sense that part, however that part is becoming more apparent to you.  How old is that part?  Some parts of us are very, very young.  Even preverbal.   Really listen to what that target parts wants to share with you, what it wants you to know.   How is that target part trying to help you?  What is that target part's good intentions.   How are you feeling toward that part, toward that experience Compassion  Connection  Curiosity -- genuine interest  Calm   If feeling negative, can we get concerned protector parts to soften, to relax back so that you, as the self, can connect with your distressed target part?  If not, focus on the concerned protector part.  Really get interested about why that part is not ready to let you connect with your target part.  There's a reason.  Parts always have good intentions for us.   Let your target part tell you all about what its experiencing with the other part -- the unloved part.   Emotions Anxiety  Sorrow -- deep emotional pain  Anger  Numbness   Thinking -- assumptions, beliefs Really be open to these beliefs, asking protectors not to censor them if possible.  Concentration issues.   Behaviors -- why does the part do what it does? What does this conflict connect back to for your part -- when did the part feel the same way in your history?  Checking to see if there's a concerned protector part trying to speak for your target part -- like a spokespart who wants to interpret the parts experience.  See if that concerned protector part can soften and relax back and let the target part speak for itself.   How is that part doing now?  Changes in your body?   Can the part feel love from you?  xWhere are you with: Compassion  Connectedness  Curiosity  Calm   Winding up Can write down what you learned, what was helpful, what came to you -- giving your parts a voice on paper.   Can do this exercise again with a different part  Gratitude for all your parts -- all have good intentions are trying to help  This doesn't have to be the end of connecting with your target part -- doesn't have to be a one-off experience, can check in with that part again.  Action Plan Looking ahead: next episode, number 98 -- ordered self-love -- now that we've covered all the ways that we can fail to love ourselves, we will be learning what it means for us to be loving ourselves in an ordered way.   Fr. Jacques Philippe -- 2008 Book Called to Life:  This self-love is good and necessary, not egoism that refers everything to "me," but the grace to live in peace with one's self, consent to be what one is, with one's talents and limitations. Love of God, love of neighbor, and love of self grow together and sustain one another as they grow. If one is absent or neglected, the other to suffer. Like the legs of a tripod, all three are needed in order to stand in each leans on the others. St. Thomas Aquinas  -- bringing in some of the work of Dr. Mary Julian Ekman, Religious Sister of Mercy. Self-love is the ground of human action, where the conscious choice to love self transforms self- love into self-friendship.  Proper self-love (amor sui ordinatus) is indispensable for perfecting the human person by making the soul more like God, who knows and loves himself by his very essence.    This movement toward self-perfection is hindered by improper self-love (amor sui inordinatus)   St. Augustine will also help us, as we explore how disordered self-love regards the self as an end, but ordered self-love sees the self as a means to the proper end of love.   Promotions  Ann-Marie Klobe -- Ready for Love: An online retreat for single Catholic women over 35 who are ready to connect deeper with their Faith, the Saints, and find a Godly relationship.  The Ready for Love retreat airs October 3-17, 2022  So many single Catholics are operating from a place of disconnection, and my goal is to restore their trust in God's plan for their life, help them feel like they have a purpose in this world, and provide training on topics such as the Saints, forgiveness, beauty, and trusting in God.  Anne-Marie did an extended experiential exercise with me as part of this retreat.  She discovered and explored some hidden reasons that could be obstacles in romantic intimacy.  She did some beautiful work that she will share with the women who attend the retreat.   Anne Marie and I are also planning for me to do a 60-minute live Q&A for the Ready for Love retreat -- where the women on the retreat can bring their questions to me about the ways that they reject ourselves as persons, the ways in which they refuse to love themselves, what it would mean to be married, and about discovering their primary identity as a beloved daughter of God.   The website for the retreat was not quite up yet at recording time.   You can go to Anne Marie Klobe's website -- https://www.anne-marieklobe.com  I will be letting you know more about it and provide links in the weekly reflections that I email out on September 14 and 21-- if you haven't been getting the weekly email reflections, sign up for them, and have them delivered to your email inbox every Wednesday.  Go to Souls and Hearts.com and click  the box that says "Get Dr. Peter's weekly reflection in your email inbox each Wednesday. Those weekly reflections are deep dives that I write each week about critical human formation topics -- those weekly reflections are the written companions to this podcast.   The Resilient Catholics Community.  The RCC.  I am inviting you on an adventure of being loved and of loving.  That is what the Resilient Catholic Community is all about.  Check it out at soulsandhearts.com/RCC   The RCC is all about working through your human formation issues -- the ones that lead to all the unlove you have for yourself.  The self-hatred and the indifference to self, the failures to love yourself in an ordered way, so that you can love got with all of your being -- with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole mind and all your strength, with every fiber of your being.   It's all about learning to be gentle but firm with yourself -- it's all about integration.  It's all about resilience.   All about restoration -- recovering from being dominated by shame, fear, anger, sadness, pessimism, whatever your struggle is in the depths of your human formation We do this work experientially -- so many experiential exercises -- so we work not just in your head, and not just in your soul, but also in your heart.   And we do the work step by step -- in a very clear program.   Check it out at soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- we open registration for new members every June and December.   I'm inviting you to join me and more than 100 other faithful Catholics on this pilgrimage to much better human formation.  Get on the waiting list for the cohort that begins in December 2022.  soulsandhearts.com/rcc Talk with me about it in conversation hours call my cell 317.567.9594 any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time for conversation hours.    

Robert Falconer, Researcher in Immigration and Refugee Policy, University of Calgary

On today's show, we chat with Paul Muyres, an agronomist and the president of Solid Ground Solutions about the federal government's goal to reduce fertilizer emissions. Plus, businesses are trying to do more with less. We chat with Michael Veall, an economist at McMaster University who is leading a team of researchers and working with Statistics Canada to bolster Canadian productivity on solving the productivity puzzle. Also, there is no way of tracking medical staff shortages in Canada and a doctor is hoping to change that. We chat with Dr. Ivy Bourgeault, a research chair in gender, diversity and the professions at the University of Ottawa, and lead of the Canadian Health Workforce Network — a research group that studies human health resources. Plus, Ukrainian refugees are running into red tape while trying to get into Canada. We find out more from Robert Falconer,  researcher of Immigration and Refugee Policy at the University of Calgary.

Robert “Bob” Falconer has been bridging his long history of IFS and psychedelics together into the body of work that informs the conversation you will hear today. Bob lays the groundwork for what Internal Family Systems therapy is; its foundational propositions about the nature of the mind; and both how IFS works and how therapists work with IFS to bring about healing. From there we go into the unique benefit IFS has to offer psychedelic therapy and how to use IFS in both preparation for and integration of psychedelic experiences. We also talk about generative change vs counteractive change; the harms of isolation and the healing of connection; the porous nature of the mind and relational nature of reality; and even Bob's perspective on how to work with spirit entities, demons, and the intelligence of psychedelic medicines. Enjoy ... For links to Bob's work, full show notes, and a link to watch this episode in video, head to bit.ly/ATTMind163 *** FULL TOPICS BREAKDOWN BELOW**   SUPPORT THE PODCAST Patreon: https://patreon.com/jameswjesso Paypal Donation: https://www.paypal.com/biz/fund?id=383635S3BKJVS Merchandise:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/shop/ More Options: https://www.jameswjesso.com/support Newsletter:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/newsletter *** Extra BIG thanks to my patrons on Patreon for helping keep this podcast alive! Especially my $23+ patrons, Andreas D, Clea S, Joe A, Ian C, Yvette FC, Chuck W, Alex F, Eliz C, Nick M, & Chloe C ——  ***** Episode Breakdown (0:00) Opening (4:47) Thank you! (7:06) Interview begins (8:13) An introduction to Internal Family Systems IFS therapy (12:34) What makes IFS “parts work” unique; Self-energy (16:10) No bad parts; all parts have good intention (19:54) Most people are civil wars, IFS helps heal us into a symphony (23:12) How IFS addresses our wounded parts, e.g. our “exiles” (26:58) “Insight is the booby prize” (28:40) Counteractive change vs generative change (32:00) The unique benefit of IFS for psychedelic therapy (25:40) How Internal Family Systems therapy works best with psychedelics (42:04) Where IFS fits into psychedelic integration (46:26) Separating internal vs external change during our psychedelic integration (47:37) Living in troubled times; therapy with the potential for exponential growth (55:04) The mind is porous; reality is relational (1:03:05) Falconer's perspective on spirit entities and demons (1:11:13) The utility of regarding the intelligence of the medicine as full spectrum personalities (1:17:50) Some discussion on regarding nature as full-spectrum personalities (1:23:15) The harms of isolation; the healing of connection (1:27:19) IFS with MDMA or Ketamine? (1:30:18) The specific nuances of doing IFS therapy with ketamine (1:34:52) Can protector parts block the effects of psychedelics? (1:40:31) We don't always need support to have a great psychedelic experience, but it helps (1:44:31) Suggestions on integrating IFS into your personal psychedelic practice (1:48:39) A final offering for us from Robert Falconer (1:49:22) Closing ***** SUPPORT THE PODCAST Patreon: https://patreon.com/jameswjesso Paypal Donation: https://www.paypal.com/biz/fund?id=383635S3BKJVS Merchandise:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/shop/ More Options: https://www.jameswjesso.com/support Newsletter:  https://www.jameswjesso.com/newsletter OR you can buy a copy of one of my books! Decomposing The Shadow: Lessons From The Psilocybin Mushroom – https://www.jameswjesso.com/decomposing-the-shadow/ The True Light Of Darkness — https://www.jameswjesso.com/true-light-darkness/

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Summary:  Join us as we review how philosophers and modern secular psychologists understand mental health and well-being.  In this episode, we look at the attempts to define what make us happy, from the 4th century BC to the present day.  Arristipus, Aristotle, Descartes, Freud, Seligman, Porges, Schwartz, and two diagnostic systems.  We take a special look at how positive psychology and Internal Family Systems see well-being.   Lead in  In  June of 1991 I was really traumatized Just left a spiritually and psychologically abusive group and I was struggling  How could this have happened  I thought I was giving my life to God -- and then I find out the community I was in was like this --  Had to confront my own behaviors in the community -- manipulation, deception, betrayals of trust -- things like that.   I knew I had to recover.  And so I went on a quest  I was still Catholic, I never lost my faith, but I felt really burned by the Catholic Church  I wanted to learn everything I could about social influence, about group dynamics, about psychological manipulation -- in part so what happened before would never happen again, and also to tap into wisdom that I didn't have access to in my very sheltered community.  In short, I was on a quest to find out the best of what secular psychology had to offer.   I would have gone to a Catholic Graduate  What I was looking for  What I found   Introduction Question may arise, "Why Dr. Peter, since you are a Catholic psychologist, why are you even looking at these secular sources? Why even bother with them?  Don't we have everything we need in Scripture, in the traditions of the Church, in the writings of the Church Fathers and the saints, and in magisterial teaching?  I thought this was a Catholic podcast here.   Let me ask you question in return then -- Let's say you're experiencing serious physical symptoms -- something is wrong medically.  You have intense abdominal pain, right around your navel, your belly is starting to swell, you have a low-grade fever, you've lost your appetite and you're nauseous and you have diarrhea.  How would you react if I were to say to you: "Why are you considering consulting secular medical experts?  What need have you of doctors and a hospital?  Don't you have everything you need in Scripture, in the traditions of the Church, in the writings of the Church Fathers and the saints, and in magisterial teaching?   If I responded to you like that, you might think I'm a crackpot or that I believe in faith healing alone or that I just don't get what you are experiencing. Those are the symptoms of an appendicitis, and that infected appendix could burst 48-72 hours after your first symptoms.  If that happens, bacteria spread infection throughout your abdomen, and that is potentially life-threatening.  You would need surgery to remove the appendix and clean out your abdomen.   Remember that we are embodied beings -- we are composites of a soul and a body. The 17th Century Philosopher Rene Descartes' gave us a lot of great things, including analytic geometry,  but he was wrong splitting the body from the mind in his dualism.   Descartes' mind-body dualism, the idea that the body and the mind operate in separate spheres, and neither can be assimilated into the other which has been so influential in our modern era. In the last several years we are realizing just how much of our mental life and our psychological well-being is linked in various ways to our neurobiology -- the ways that our nervous systems function.  And the relationship between our embodied brain and our minds is reciprocal -- each affects the other in complex ways that we are just beginning to understand.  In other words, brain chemistry affects our emotional states.  And our emotional states and our behaviors affect brain chemistry.  It's not just our minds and it's not just our bodies and it's not just our souls -- it's all of those, all of what makes me who I am, body, mind, soul, spirit, all of it.   And since Scripture, the Early Church Fathers, the Catechism and so on are silent on neurobiology, neurochemistry, neurophysiology and so many other areas that impact our minds and our well-being, as a Catholic psychologist I am going to look elsewhere, I'm going to look into secular sources.  I just don't think it's reasonable to expect the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops or the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in the Vatican to be experts in these areas -- it's not their calling.  I just don't think anyone is going to find an effective treatment for bulimia by consulting the writings of the Early Church Fathers or in St. Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologica.  That is unreasonable .  And it's just as unreasonable, in my opinion, to ignore the body and just try to work with the mind.   I also believe that God works through non-Catholics in many ways -- many non-Catholic researchers and clinicians and theorists are using the light of natural reason to discover important realities that help us understanding well-being, and they are inspired to seek what can be known with good motivations, with good hearts and sharp minds to help and love others.   I am a Catholic with upper-case C, a big C and I am catholic with a lower-case C -- a little C.  Catholic with a little C.  According to my Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus, Third Edition, which I rely on for wordfinding, according to this thesaurus, the synonyms for Catholic with a small c include the following terms:  universal, diverse, broad-based, eclectic, comprehensive, all-encompassing, all-embracing and all-inclusive.  That's what catholic with a small c means.  So I am Catholic with a big C and catholic with a small c.   And a final point about why I look to secular sources -- The Church herself encourages us to look to all branches of knowledge and glean what is best from them.   From the CCC, paragraph 159  "Though faith is above reason, there can never be any real discrepancy between faith and reason. Since the same God who reveals mysteries and infuses faith has bestowed the light of reason on the human mind, God cannot deny himself, nor can truth ever contradict truth." "Consequently, methodical research in all branches of knowledge, provided it is carried out in a truly scientific manner and does not override moral laws, can never conflict with the faith, because the things of the world and the things of faith derive from the same God. The humble and persevering investigator of the secrets of nature is being led, as it were, by the hand of God in spite of himself, for it is God, the conserver of all things, who made them what they are." And from the Vatican II document, the Pastoral Constitution of the Church in the Modern World, paragraph 62 reads:  In pastoral care, sufficient use must be made not only of theological principles, but also of the findings of the secular sciences, especially of psychology and sociology, so that the faithful may be brought to a more adequate and mature life of faith. Finally, I will say that considering the whole person -- Soul, spirit, mind and body -- all of the person is so much more helpful in the process of recovery that just splitting off the mind and working with it alone, or just trying to work with the mind and the soul but not the body.  So there are pragmatic considerations, practical aspects to this.  I like to practice psychology in ways that actually work.  The fruit that comes from considering the body and working with the body as well the mind and soul is just so much better.  And so we want to work in an integrative way.  That what this podcast Interior Integration for Catholics is all about -- this is episode 90 released on March 7. 2022, titled Your Well-Being:  The Secular Experts Speak and I am  I am clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski, your host and companion today, and also president and Co-Founder of Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com -- our mission in Souls and Hearts is to bring the best of psychology and human formation grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person to help wounded Catholics rise above our psychological issues and human formation problems which hold us back from embracing love from Jesus, the Holy Spirit, God our Father and Mary our Mother and loving them back with our whole souls and hearts, with all our parts.    Secular Sources The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5 -- DSM-5 for short.   From the American Psychiatric Association, which publishes the DSM-5 The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the handbook used by health care professionals in the United States and much of the world as the authoritative guide to the diagnosis of mental disorders. DSM contains descriptions, symptoms, and other criteria for diagnosing mental disorders. It provides a common language for clinicians to communicate about their patients and establishes consistent and reliable diagnoses that can be used in the research of mental disorders. It also provides a common language for researchers to study the criteria for potential future revisions and to aid in the development of medications and other interventions. So you would think, given that glowing description of its prowess and authority that it would tell us what psychological well-being is, it would let us know what mental health is.  But if you thought that, you'd be wrong.   Nowhere in the nearly 1000 pages of this tome is there are definition.  You can't find it.  No definition of mental health or psychological wellbeing.  You get a definition of mental disorder and a couple of descriptions of what is not a mental disorder.  This is a quote from page 20.   Definition of a mental disorder:  A mental disorder is a syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress in social, occupational, or other important activities. An expectable or culturally approved response to a common stressor or loss, such as the death of a loved one, is not a mental disorder. Socially deviant behavior (e.g., political, religious, or sexual) and conflicts that are primarily between the individual and society are not mental disorders unless the deviance or conflict results from a dysfunction in the individual, as described above. But no definition of what optimal functioning, or happiness or well-being or psychological health would look like.  That's a real problem.  How are we supposed to know what psychological disorder is when we don't know what psychological health should entail? Canadian Blogger, author and Christian pastor Tim Challies published a blog titled "Counterfeit Detection" in which he describes how Canadian federal agents are trained to detect counterfeit bills -- they first get very familiar with the real money.  Real bills.  Those Canadian follow what John MacArthur wrote in his book Reckless Faith. "Federal agents don't learn to spot counterfeit money by studying the counterfeits. They study genuine bills until they master the look of the real thing. Then when they see the bogus money they recognize it."  Only then are they equipped to spot the forgeries.   So we need a standard, we need to know what well-being looks like so we can use it as a reference point for contrasting anything which is out of order in our psyches.  We're not going to get that reference point from the DSM-5, so let's turn to history.  Let's go back in time to the philosophers of ancient Greece who wrote about well-being and start there.  Let's see if we can find out from our secular sources what the good life is.  What psychological well-being is, what mental health is.    Hedonic wellbeing -- basically this is about feeling good:     Aristippus, a Greek philosopher in the fourth century BC argued that the primary and ultimate goal in life should be to maximize pleasure.  English philosophers  Thomas Hobbes 17th century and Jeremy Bentham in the 18th century, crossing into the 19th century also embraced Hedonic well being.   Definition:  Hedonic wellbeing "focuses on happiness and defines well-being in terms of pleasure attainment and pain avoidance” Ryan and Deci, 2001 On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology How much pleasure can I get?  How much pain can I avoid -- Hedonic wellbeing.  Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy The term “hedonism,” from the Greek word ἡδονή (hēdonē) for pleasure, refers to several related theories about what is good for us, how we should behave, and what motivates us to behave in the way that we do. All hedonistic theories identify pleasure and pain as the only important elements of whatever phenomena they are designed to describe.   Back to Ryan and Deci “the predominant view among hedonic psychologists is that well-being consists of subjective happiness and concerns the experience of pleasure versus displeasure broadly construed to include all judgments about the good/bad elements of life. Happiness is thus not reducible to physical hedonism, for it can be derived from attainment of goals or valued outcomes in varied realms  Ryan and Deci, 2001 On happiness and human potentials: A review of research on hedonic and eudaimonic well-being. Annual Review of Psychology Summary statement:  Hedonic well-being -- maximize the pleasure, minimize the pain.   And that makes sense to us -- we all have some innate attraction to pleasure and some innate avoidance of pain.   Eudaimonic wellbeing "producing happiness," 1856, from Greek eudaimonikos "conducive to happiness," from eudaimonia "happiness," from eu "good" (see eu-) + daimōn "guardian, genius" (see daimon).  In contrast to hedonic wellbeing's focus on pleasure, we have eudaimonic well-being, which focuses on meaning and purpose in life.   Trace this back to Aristotle also in the 4th Century BC, contemporary of Aristippus.  Aristotle argued, especially in his Nichomachean Ethics -- Aristotle argued that the best things are the ones who perform their function to the highest degree.  My son John Malinoski used this example in his senior thesis for Wyoming Catholic college. His thesis was titled Into the Jung-le: Exploring How Modern Psychological Methodology Relates to and Transforms the Classical Understanding of Man's Psyche  and it has this passage which precisely describes how Aristotle saw well-being, using an illustrative  example of a squirrel and then describing what well-being is for us as human persons:   Aristotle begins his quest for the happy man with one of these endoxa: the generally held, plausible truth that the best things are the ones who perform their function to the highest degree. It seems self-evident that we would judge the worth of a squirrel based on how fast that squirrel can run, how high it can leap, or how much food it can find. In other words, the best squirrel is the one that best fulfills its squirrel nature. Correspondingly, the best man must be the man who excels at being a man; he performs the functions of man to the highest degree. While man has many functions which he shares in common with plants and animals--life, growth, sensation, and so on--he has one particular ability which is unique to him: the ability to reason. Since this higher faculty distinguishes and elevates man above the lesser beings below him, Aristotle claims that it must be the most important aspect of his soul, the characteristic function of man: “We posit the work of a human being as a certain life, and this is an activity of soul and actions accompanied by reason.”6 Since “each thing is brought to completion well in accord with the work proper to it,” it follows that “the human good becomes an activity of the soul in accord with virtue, and if there are several virtues, then in accord with the best and most complete one.”7  This is Aristotle's brief summation of the human good, or happiness. In short, the truly virtuous man has ordered his soul to the fullest extent: not only are all his actions ordered towards reason and the good, but all his inclinations point him toward these properly ordered actions as well. Gale and colleagues 2009 article in the Journal of Personality  The eudaimonic perspective of wellbeing – based on Aristotle's view that true happiness comes from doing what is worth doing – focuses on meaning and self-realization, and defines wellbeing largely in terms of ways of thought and behavior that provide fulfillment. Freud Let's fast forward 2400 years now to Freud.  From the 4th century BC to the 20th Century AD.  To Freud  A lot of people believe that Freud was really a hedonist -- in part because of his pleasure principle.  In Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personality, the pleasure principle is that driving impulse of the id -- the id is the most basic, primitive part of the personality driven by instincts, mostly buried deep in the unconscious.  The pleasure principle describes how the id seeks immediate gratification of all its needs, wants, and urges, seeking with force to satiate hunger, quench thirst, discharge anger, and experience sexual pleasure.   "To Love and to Work" -- summarizing in one pithy statement what a healthy man or woman should be able to do well.   “Love and work…work and love, that's all there is…love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” -- Civilization and its Discontents  Play:  Freud believed and taught that play was important -- play is a creative activity, play is an adaptive activity, and play is also a therapeutic activity because play generates pleasure through the release of  tension.  Summarize Freud's position on happiness -- the ability to Love, work and play.   Freud in his 1895 book "Studies on Hysteria" coauthored with Josef Breuer.  But you will see for yourself that much has been gained if we succeed in turning your hysterical misery into common unhappiness. With a mental life that has been restored to health, you will be better armed against that unhappiness.” Freud did not promise that his psychoanalytic method would remove "common unhappiness."  He taught that psychoanalysis had its limits.   Which leads us to fast forward 100 years to the late 1990's and the advent of Positive Psychology, which is not satisfied by just accepting common unhappiness.  Positive psychology posits that we can do something about that common unhappiness and make it better -- so it is more ambitious in its goals and promises than Freud ever was.   Positive Psychology:   Definitions:   Peterson 2008  “Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life most worth living”  positive psychology is a scientific approach to studying human thoughts, feelings, and behavior, with a focus on strengths instead of weaknesses, building the good in life instead of repairing the bad, and taking the lives of average people up to “great” instead of focusing solely on moving those who are struggling up to “normal”  the scientific study of positive human functioning and flourishing  -- flourishing really is the focus of positive psychology, it's a critical word.  And there's a focus on flourishing in three primary domains.   Flourishing  intrapersonally -- which means within one's own person, within one's own being -- intrapersonally (e.g. biologically, emotionally, cognitively) Flourishing interpersonally (e.g. relationally), in our personal relationships And flourishing collectively (e.g. institutionally, culturally and globally) -- in our culture and society -- flourishing collectively So flourishing is the key word, and the focus is on flourishing intrapersonally, interpersonally, and collectively So what makes the good life according to positive psychologists, according to Martin Seligman? Seligman in his 2002 book Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment details four different forms of what he calls "the good life."  Four different forms or ways of living well, four kinds of well-being.    These are the 1) the pleasant life; 2) a good life; 3) a meaningful life; and 4) a full life.  Repeat them.   We'll go through each one of these starting with the pleasant life.   The pleasant life: according to Martin Seligman, the pleasant life is a simple life, he says "a life that successfully pursues the positive emotions about the present, past and future"  He elaborates, "The pleasant life is wrapped up in the successful pursuit of the positive feelings, supplemented by the skills of amplifying those emotions."  This takes us back to the hedonic wellbeing we discussed earlier, as originally posited by Aristippus, our Greek philosopher in the fourth century BC.  All about the pursuit of good feelings, maximizing positive emotions.  The good life: The good life, according to positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman means  "using your signature strengths to obtain abundant gratification in the main realms of one's life"  So in this good life, you are able to use your particular talents and unique skills, your special strengths, being true to your own character, being true to your values and virtues, so this sense of "authenticity" is very important in the good life.  So we have the pleasant life, all about positive emotions; and now the good life, in which you have abundant gratification by you doing you, by you being authentic through using your signature qualities in in the world.  The good life is not a permanent state -- we are not always going to be able to use our special talents and qualities in a way that is gratifying to us -- rather, the good life has to be a process of ongoing growth, a process of development.  It's all about continuing to grow.   Then we have the  meaningful life, that's the third form, the meaningful life.  Seligman describes this as "using your signature strengths and virtues in the service of something much larger than you are" In this way of living well, you have a strong bond to "something larger than yourself."  In this way of well-being, it's up to each individual what that "something larger than yourself" is going to be.  So at this point we've covered three of the four kinds of well-being:  we have the pleasant life, all about maximizing your pleasant emotions, we have the good life, which is all about using your signature strength and virtues to be gratified, and we have the third form, the meaningful life, in which we use our signature strengths and virtues in the service of something larger than us.  This level of well-being brings us back to Aristotle and his eudaimonic well-being, which focuses on pursuing meaning and purpose in life.   That leaves us with the fourth way, the full life.  Seligman describes the full life as follows: «Finally, a full life consists in experiencing positive emotions about the past and future, savoring positive feelings from pleasures, deriving abundant gratification from your signature strengths, and using these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning»  So what is added to the first three ways of well-being in this last way, the fourth way, the full life is the concept of service.  Here's where he starts to sound a little like Bob Dylan's 1979 song "Gotta Serve Somebody."  In the full life, a  man uses his strengths and abilities in the most optimized way to serve something larger than himself." In the full life, a woman gets outside herself and brings her talents and virtues to serve a greater good in a way that shines.  The full life reflects optimal human functioning.  Seligman thus is very Aristotleian in how  he argues that a person has the best experience of life, the greatest sense of well-being when that person is functioning  optimally, bringing all the particular talents, skills, strengths and virtues to bear in the services of the greater good.  Effort to refocus psychology on wholeness and wellness -- not on illness or disorder or weaknesses or problems Focus on positive aspects A to Z list from Chapter 2 of the book Well-Being, Recovery, and Mental Health by Lindsay Oades and Lara Mossman:  altruism, accomplishment, appreciation of beauty and excellence, authenticity, best possible selves, character strengths, coaching, compassion, courage, coping, creativity, curiosity, emotional intelligence, empathy, flow, forgiveness, goal setting, gratitude, grit, happiness, hope, humor, kindness, leadership, love, meaning, meditation, mindfulness, motivation, optimism, performance, perseverance, positive emotions, positive relationships, post-traumatic growth, psychological capital, purpose, resilience, savoring, self-efficacy, self-regulation, spirituality, the good life, virtues, wisdom and zest.  Origin of Positive Psychology is often attributed to Abraham Maslow's 1954 book "Motivation and Personality."   Really took off in the late 1990's when positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman became president of the American Psychological Society and was able to effectively popularize positive psychology Increase human strength -- make people more "productive"  Nurturing of genius and fostering greater human potential  Calling for research on human strength and virtue.   How do human being flourish at the individual level, the community level, and at the societal level?   Emphasis on Different interventions that have been found to improve levels of happiness and well-being.   Best possible self -- writing about yourself at your best, remembering yourself at your best Working on forgiveness -- I find this really interesting that forgiveness  -- Robert Enright has done a lot of research in this area, with a focus on letting go of anger, resentment and bitterness toward those who have caused me pain. Getting a more balanced view of the offender  Reducing negative feelings toward the offender and possibly increasing compassion  Relinquishing the right to punish the offender or demand restitution.     Increasing gratitude -- finding things to be thankful for, reflecting on blessings, expressing gratitude in a variety of ways -- Gratitude is the expression of appreciate for what I have.  Research shows many positive psychological benefits to deliberately practicing gratitude Fostering optimism -- the tendency to anticipate favorable outcomes.  Things are going to work out.  The glass is half full.  The idea is that optimism can be learned.  It can be practiced and developed and when it is, people feel better.   Cultivating Mindfulness the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment“ (Kabat-Zinn, Reference Kabat-Zinn2003, p. 2) Listening to uplifting music Positive Psychotherapy Savoring (savoring can be past-focused (reminiscing about positive experiences), present-focused (savoring the moment) or future-focused (anticipating positive experiences yet to come) (Smith et al., 2014) Self-compassionate writing -- being gentle with yourself in your journal PDM 2 -- Now completely revised (over 90% new), this is the authoritative diagnostic manual grounded in psychodynamic clinical models and theories. Explicitly oriented toward case formulation and treatment planning, PDM-2 offers practitioners an empirically based, clinically useful alternative or supplement to DSM and ICD categorical diagnoses.  A clinically useful classification of mental disorders must begin with a concept of healthy psychology. Mental health is more than simply the absence of symptoms. Just as healthy cardiac functioning cannot be defined as an absence of chest pain, healthy mental functioning is more than the absence of observable symptoms of psychopathology. p.3 Three major axes: Personality Organization, Mental Functioning, and Symptom Patterns Personality Organization P Axis What level of personality organization does the person have?   4 major categories -- psychotic, borderline, neurotic, and healthy.   What style personality or pattern does one have -- e.g. depressive, hypomanic, masochistic, dependent, anxious-avoidant (aka phobic), obsessive-compulsive, schizoid, somatizing, hysteric/histrionic, narcissistic, paranoid, psychopathic, sadistic, and borderline.  You've got one of these styles.   Mental Functioning -- overall description of mental functioning -- the capacities involved in psychological health or pathology -- looking at the inner mental life of the person Symptom Patterns -- S axis -- looks at emotional states, cognitive processes, bodily experiences, and relational patterns -- looks at the person's personal experience of his or her difficulties Psychodiagnostic Chart-2 by Robert Gordon and Robert Bornstein -- downloadable Use   Breaking it down Personality Organization P Axis -- What level of personality organization does the person have.  4 major categories -- psychotic, borderline, neurotic, and healthy.  What style personality or pattern does one have -- e.g. depressive, hypomanic, masochistic, dependent, anxious-avoidant (aka phobic), obsessive-compulsive, schizoid, somatizing, hysteric/histrionic, narcissistic, paranoid, psychopathic, sadistic, and borderline.  You've got one of these styles.   To be able to understand oneself in complex, stable, and accurate ways To maintain intimate, stable, and satisfying relationships To use more healthy defenses and copings strategies -- anticipation, self-assertion, sublimation, suppression, altruism and humor To appreciate, if not necessarily conform to, conventional notions of what is realistic Life problems rarely get out of hand There is enough flexibility to accommodate to challenging realities Mental Functioning M axis  Cognitive processes capacity to regulate thinking, attention, learning  Capacity to communicate one's thoughts to others   Emotional processes to be able to experience a full range of emotions  To regulate emotions well  To understand one's own emotions  To be able to communicate one's emotions   Identity -- deals with the question, who am I? Capacity for differentiation -- a solid sense of being psychological separate from others -- not fused, or enmeshed or co-dependent  Regulation of self-esteem  Awareness of internal experience   Relationships Capacity for relationships  Capacity for intimacy   Defenses and coping Impulse control -- regulation of impulses   Defensive functioning -- able to use effective coping strategies e.g. extreme denial  vs. humor   Adaptation -- this is a state, reflecting how an individual deals with specific stressors going on in life right now  Resilience -- this is a trait -- general ability  Check out episodes 20, 21, 22, and 23 of this podcast for a four part series on resilience American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress— such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or workplace and financial stressors. It means "bouncing back" from difficult experiences.”  So resilience is a trait.  Strength   Self-awareness Self-observing capacities -- psychological mindfulness  Self-direction   Capacity to construct and use internal standards and ideal A sense of meaning and purpose in life   Symptom patterns -- S Axis the severity of psychological symptoms   Polyvagal theory -- we spent the last episode, episode 89 titled "Your Body, Your Trauma: Protection vs. Connection discussing Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory.   Deb Dana: Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection The ventral vagal system truly powers the journey to well-being Now remember, the ventral vagal system corresponds to  the ventral branch of the vagal nerve-- and the ventral vagal system serves the social engagement system -- remember -- that's the relational connection system. The ventral vagal nerve dampens the body's regularly active state. The ventral vagal nerve allows activation of the autonomic nervous system in a nuanced way, thus offering a different quality than sympathetic activation -- that's how you can being excited and celebrate your favorite sports team score again against their rivals without becoming overwhelmed by a fight or flight response.  What is it like to be in a ventral vagal state?  It's a positive state -- it's not just the absence of being in sympathetic hyperarousal when you are in fight or flight.  It's also not just the absence of being in a dorsal vagal hypoarousal shutdown or freeze state.  It's more than just those two systems being downregulated.  It's the ventral vagal system being activated.  It's an active state with these properties  Physical responses Reduced heart rate  Steady breathing  Relaxed digestion  Rest and recuperation  Vitality  Circulation to extremities  Stress reduction   Psychological responses A sense of calm  A sense of safety  Feeling grounded  Joy  Mindfulness  An ability to be very much in the present moment   Relational responses Desire for connection with others.  A genuine interest in others  Openness and receptivity in relationship  Acceptance and embracing of vulnerability   Empathy and compassion for others Oxytocin is released that stimulates social bonding  Ability to related and to connect with others without anxiety   This state changes the way we look and sound to others -- the tone and rhythm of your voice is more inviting   Story -- I'm in a good place, I can be loved and love, I can connect with others, there is good in the world.  Live is so worth living, and I want to share joy and peace and even sorrow and challenges with other people.   So polyvagal theory is going to focus specifically on the regulation of your nervous system in assessing your well-being.  The more you can be in a ventral vagal state, whether you are resting or excited, the better.  So for those therapists who use polyvagal theory, there is a focus on resetting the autonomic nervous system, helping us in a bodily way to get back to a ventral vagal state.  And we contrast that to the sympathetic fight or flight response and the dorsal vagal shutdown response.   Danger activates the sympathetic system, we are all about survival now  Physical responses Body is mobilized for action.  Ready to run / Efforts to escape  Hypervigilance -- body goes on high alert, pupils dilating, letting more light  Very high levels of energy in this state, adrenaline rush  Muscles get tense  Blood pressure rises  Heart rate accelerates  Adrenaline releases  Extra oxygen is circulated to vital organs  Digestion decreases  Immune response is suppressed   Psychological responses  Emotional Overwhelm usually worry moving to anxiety to fear to panic  Or frustration to irritation to anger to rage confrontational, aggressive   Scanning for threats  Capacity for complex, flexible reasoning is very much reduced -- leads to confusion  No sense of safety, you start missing signs of safety and misreading signs of safety   Relational responses Sense of separation, isolation from others-- cut off from others, no sense of relational connection anymore -- the connection is sacrificed in order to seek greater protection  Disconnection from self, others, world, disconnected spiritually.-- you can't see others, really, except through the lens of danger and safety   If we don't feel safe, there's no way we can provide a sense of safety to others.   Story: The world is unsafe and people are dangerous, unfriendly, scary, falling apart   When the mobilization doesn't bring a resolution to the distress -- then the ANS takes the final step, and shoots the last arrow it has in its quiver.  This is the freeze response. When there is a deep sense that my life is threatened and the sympathetic activation doesn't resolve the perceived threat, then the dorsal vagal system kicks in.  That's the freeze response, that's the collapse into "dorsal vagal lifelessness"  Physical response Heart rate decreases, slows way down  Blood pressure drops  Body temperature decreases  Muscle tone relaxes  Breathing becomes shallow  Immune response drops  Pain threshold increases -- greater pain tolerance because of endorphin release that numbs pain.   Immobilization response -- appearing physically dead  Digestion and metabolism slows way down -- going into conservation mode, like hibernating until the life threat passes.   Psychological response Sense of helplessness  Depression, despondency, lethargy  Numbing out  Disconnection  Thinking become very foggy, fuzzy, unclear  Dissociation, Spacing out, feeling disconnect from the present, untethered, floating, derealization   Feeling trapped Preparing for death Feeling hopeless Shutting down and feeling psychologically inert, paralyzed Feeling a deep sense of shame Relational response Very isolated  Can't listen to others, don't notice them very well, because of how shut down and self-absorbed you are in this state  Can't share very well, difficulty with words  Very little agency  Can't focus   Story:  A story of despair.  I am unlovable, invisible, lost, alone, in desperate straits, about to die.   So polyvagal theory is going to focus specifically on the regulation of your nervous system in assessing your well-being.   According to polyvagal theory if we are in sympathetic arousal, the fight or flight mode, we are focused on the perceived dangers around us and we focus on self-protection.  This leads us to sacrifice connection with others.   If we are in the dorsal vagal shutdown, the freeze response, we hiding from the prospect of imminent death, shutting down into a conservation mode, hoping to survive the perceived imminent lethal danger by becoming immobile.   So for those therapists informed by polyvagal theory, there is a focus on resetting the autonomic nervous system, helping us in a bodily way to get back to a ventral vagal state, to leave the dorsal vagal shutdown state, to leave the sympathetic fight-or-flight state and get back to a peaceful bodily state.  These therapists start with the body, not so much the mind.   Internal Family Systems or IFS-- developed by Richard Schwartz, described in the first edition of Internal Family System Therapy which was published in 1995  IFS brings systems thinking inside -- it conceptualized the human person as a living system.  Richard Schwartz is a family therapist who was trained in family systems work.  He recognized that the inner life of a person mirrored family life, from a systems perspective.  But before we go much further, let's ask the question -- What is a system:  Definition from Ben Lutkevich at techtarget.com Systems thinking is a holistic approach to analysis that focuses on the way that a system's constituent parts interrelate and how systems work over time and within the context of larger systems. The systems thinking approach contrasts with traditional analysis, which studies systems by breaking them down into their separate elements.  Wellbeing according to IFS is when inner system of the person shows certain qualities Balance  -- the degree of influence that each member has in the system on decisions making is appropriate and that the boundaries are balanced and appropriate within the system.   Harmony -- an effort is made to find the role each member desires and and for which he is best suited.  Members of the system work together, cooperatively.  The harmony of the system allows each member to find and pursue his own vision while fitting that member's vision into the broader vision of the system as a whole.  There is cooperation and collaboration among the members of the system.   Leadership --One or more members of the system must have the ability and respect to do the following: Mediate polarizations  Facilitate the flow of information withing the system  Ensure that all members of the system are protected and cared for and that they feel valued and encouraged to pursue their individual vision within the limits of the system's needs  Allocate resources, responsibilities, and influence fairly  Provide a broad perspective and vision for the system as a whole  Represent the system in interaction with other systems  And interpret feedback from other systems honestly   Development -- the members of the system and the system itself can grow -- developing the skills and relationships needed to carry out the vision of the system.   IFS model of the person Person is composed of a body, plus his parts, plus his self -- that's the internal system of a person -- body, parts, and self  This will be a review for many of you who listen to the podcast   Self:  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader, with a deep sense of recollection on the natural level.  You can also experience being in self as an expansive state of mind   We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's -- this is the ideal state Calm  -agitation, frustration, anxious, stressed, angry   Curiosity -- indifferent, disinterested, seeing other parts and seeing other people in two dimensions, one dimension, or no dimensions -- Episode 72 -Y- nuanced vs. reductionistic understandings of ourselves and others.   Compassion -- cold, uncaring, unfriendly, hard, reserved, unsympathetic Confidence -- timid, pessimistic, doubtful and insecure Courage -- fearful, shy, faint-hearted, irresolute Clarity -- confused, muddled inside, things are obscured, dark inside, foggy, sees vague forms moving in a shadow world.   Connectedness  -- internal fragmentation, disjointed, distant, aloof Creativity  -- uninspired, inept, very conventional, repetitive futility, doing the same thing over and over again, with no different results Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   IFS has two states Unblended -- this is when one is in a state of self  Unburdened -- this is when our parts are freed from their burndens.   Interpersonal Neurobiology -- pioneered by Daniel Siegel  Definition -- Interpersonal Neurobiology is not a separate discipline -- it's not something that would have its own academic department within a university, for example.  Rather, it is an interdisciplinary framework -- and that means that Interpersonal Neurobiology or IPNB for short, draws from many different disciplines -- many different approaches that have their own individual and unique rigorous approaches to studying phenomena relevant to well-being.   I'm very into IPNB -- taking a Master Class with Daniel Siegel right now.   We're going to get into Interpersonal Neurobiology and it's views on mental health and well being in Episode 92 of this podcast Closing Weekly emails  Special bonus podcast will be coming to you on Friday, March 25, 2022 -- the feast of the Annunciation, with an exciting announcement, this is just an extra podcast about a major effort that we are involved in at Souls and Hearts.  Dr. Gerry Crete will be joining me to discuss this with you.  So tune in then for all the new happenings at Souls and Hearts  Catholic Therapists and Grad Students --  I will be doing a free Zoom webinar at from 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM Eastern time on Saturday March 26, 2022 on Internal Family Systems and loving your neighbor  -- it's all about how understanding myself and others from an IFS perspective can help us love each other  -- any Catholic therapist or grad student in a mental health field is free to attend.  Email Patty Ellenberger, our office manager at admin@soulsandhearts.com for a registration link.   Dr. Gerry's Catholic Journeymen Community has relaunched within Souls and Hearts.  Men -- you are welcome to join a group of faithful Catholic men seeking restoration, wholeness, and integrity in areas of sexuality and relationship with God, self, and others. Catholic Journeymen is a safe space for men to share burdens, receive support, and be nourished by a distinctive program combining behavioral health science and Catholic spirituality. Check that out at soulsandhearts.com/catholic-journeymen.   Conversation Hours You are a listener to this podcast, and in that sense, you are with me.  I am also with you!  Remember, can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern Time for our regular conversation hours.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Waiting list is open for The Resilient Catholics Community at Soulsandhearts.com/rcc for our June 2022  So much information there and videos.  Patron and Patroness      

Snowpiercer 304 "Bound By One Track". Daveed Diggs as Andre Layton. Photograph by Robert Falconer. Image Copyright Warner Media 2022. Melanie Cavill is back! Kind of! TNT played a little trick on the legions of Snowpiercer fans by using clips of Melanie in the teasers for this week's episode. They never actually said that she was back in flesh though, did they? So, we got head-versions from the perspectives of her daughter, Alex, and her mentor, the imprisoned Mr. Wilford. Throughout the episode, both characters turn to an embodiment of their memories of Melanie for counsel as the only person they trust to talk to. We discuss these plot points and more in this weeks' podcast! Listen, rate, review, and subscribe to the Podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! And write in and leave us comments on PodClubhouse.com, we'd love to hear from you! More in this series Season 3 1 | 2 | 3  Season 2 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 Season 1 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Follow the show TNT Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram Follow the hosts Paul: Twitter | Web Cat: Twitter | Insta | Web Inez: Twitter | Insta Recorded at Pod Clubhouse Studios using Cleanfeed and edited by Caroline Daley.

12:06 | Public policy researcher Robert Falconer and political analyst Supriya Dwivedi unpack perceptions of Alberta detailed in new national polling data from Maru Public Opinion. 34:53 | 3x Olympian Neville Wright, former Canadian diplomat Chris Alexander, and retired head of the Canada's International Sports Relations Eric Morse, discuss what Olympic boycotts can mean for diplomacy, sport, and Canada on the world stage.  1:16:14 | Trash Talk | Ryan animates and riffs on annoyances, piss offs, and pet peeves shared by Real Talkers via talk@ryanjespersen.com. Presented by Local Waste.

Join Dr. Peter to go way below the surface and find the hidden meanings of obsessions, compulsions and OCD.  Through poetry and quotes, he invites you into the painful, distressing, fearful and misunderstood world of those who suffer from OCD.  He defines obsessions and compulsions, discusses the different types of each, and evaluates two conventional treatments and one alternative treatment for OCD.  Most importantly, he discusses the deepest natural causes of OCD, which are almost always disregarded in conventional treatment, which focuses primarily on the symptoms.   Lead-in OCD is not a disease that bothers; it is a disease that tortures. - Author: J.J. Keeler   “It can look like still waters on the outside while a hurricane is swirling in your mind.” — Marcie Barber Phares  Poetry or word picture (prayer of the scrupulous)  Aditi Apr 2017  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  OCD.  That is what we are addressing today. Here is what OCD is like for Toni Neville -- she says:  “It's like being controlled by a puppeteer. Every time you try and just walk away he pulls you back. Are you sure the stove is off and everything is unplugged? Back up we go. Are you sure your hands are as clean as they can get? Back ya go. Are you sure the doors are securely locked? Back down we go. How many people have touched this object? Wash your hands again.”  Introduction We are together in this great adventure, this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am honored to be able to spend this time with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.   We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.    Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com  Today, we are getting into obsessions and compulsions -- a really deep dive into what's really going on with these experiences.  I know many of you were expecting me to discuss scrupulosity today -- And you know what?  I was expecting I would be discussing scrupulosity well, but in order to have that discussion of scrupulosity  be well-founded, we really need to get into understanding obsessions and compulsions first.  I have to bring you up to speed on obessions and compulsions before we get into scrupulosity, and there is a lot to know The questions we will be covering about obsessions and compulsions. What are Obsession and Compulsions? Getting into definitions.   Also What are the different types of obsessions and compulsions, the different forms that obsessions and compulsions can take What is the experience of OCD like?  From those who have suffered it.   Who suffers from obsessions and compulsions -- how common are they?  Who is at risk?  Why do obsessions and compulsions start and why do they keep going?  How do we overcome obsessions and compulsions?  How do we resolve them?   What does the secular literature say are the best treatments"  -- Medication and a particular kind of therapy called Exposure and Response Prevention Alternatives   Can we find not just a descriptive diagnosis, but a proscriptive conceptualization that gives a direction for healing, resolving the obsessions and compulsions  Not just symptom management. Definitions  Obsessions  DSM-5: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2): Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or impulses that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.  The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion).  Not pleasurable   Involuntary My compulsive thoughts aren't even thoughts, they're absolute certainties and obeying them isn't a choice. - Author: Paul Rudnick  To resist a compulsion with willpower alone is to hold back an avalanche by melting the snow with a candle. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. - Author: David Adam   Individual works to neutralize the obsession with another thought or a compulsion.   From the International OCD Foundation:  Obsessions are thoughts, images or impulses that occur over and over again and feel outside of the person's control. Individuals with OCD do not want to have these thoughts and find them disturbing. In most cases, people with OCD realize that these thoughts don't make any sense.  Obsessions are typically accompanied by intense and uncomfortable feelings such as fear, disgust, doubt, or a feeling that things have to be done in a way that is “just right.” In the context of OCD, obsessions are time consuming and get in the way of important activities the person values.  Common Obsessions  Sources What is OCD? Article by the International OCD Foundation on their website  WebMD article How Do I Know if I Have OCD? By Danny Bonvissuto February 19. 2020  Northpointrecovery.com blog What Types of OCD Are There? Get the Breakdown Here by the Northpoint Staff from May 3, 2019  Article entitled Common Types of OCD: Subtypes, Their Symptoms and the Best Treatment by Patrick Carey dated July 6, 2021 on treatmyocd.com   Contamination Body fluids --- blood, urine, saliva, feces -   I gave my baby niece a serious illness when I held her --  I'm sure I got a disease from using the public restroom.   Germs for communicable diseases -- may be afraid to shake hands, worried about catching gonorrhea  Environmental contaminants -- radiation, asbestos  Household chemicals -- cleaners, solvents  Dirt  If you put the wrong foods in your body, you are contaminated and dirty and your stomach swells. Then the voice says, Why did you do that? Don't you know better? Ugly and wicked, you are disgusting to me. - Author: Bethany Pierce   Losing Control Giving in to an impulse to harm yourself --  I could jump in front of this bus right now.   Fear of acting on an impulse to harm others -- what if I stabbed my child with this knife?  Fear of violent or horrific images in your mind  Fear of shouting out insults or obscenities --  Fear of stealing things   Harm Fear of being responsible for some terrible event (causing a fire at an office building)  Fear of harming others because of not being careful enough (leaving a stick in your yard that fell from a tree in a wind storm that may trip and hurt an neighbor child)   Relationships Doubts about romantic partner -- is she the right one for me?  Is there a better one I am supposed to find?  What if we are not meant to be together, but we wind up marrying each other?  Is my partner faithful?   Unwanted Sexual Thoughts Forbidden or perverse sexual thoughts or images  Sexual obsessions involving children  Obsessions about aggressive sexual behavior toward others   Obsessions related to perfectionism Concern about evenness or exactness   need for things to be in their place Arranging things in a particular way before leaving home   Concern with a need to know or remember  Inability to decide whether to keep or discard things  Fear of losing things  Fear of making a mistake -- may need excessive encouragement from others  Needing to make sure that your action is just right -- I need to start this email over, something is not wright with the wording.   Obsessions about your Sexual Orientation Obsessions about being embarrassed in a public situation Getting a non-communicable disease such as cancer Superstitious ideas such as unlucky numbers or certain colors Religious Obsessions (Scrupulosity) Concern with offending God  Concerns about blasphemy  Concerns about right and wrong, morality.   Compulsions  Definitions  DSM-5 Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2): Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.  The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive.  Most people with OCD have both obsessions and compulsions.   From the International OCD Foundation Compulsions are the second part of obsessive compulsive disorder. These are repetitive behaviors or thoughts that a person uses with the intention of neutralizing, counteracting, or making their obsessions go away. People with OCD realize this is only a temporary solution but without a better way to cope they rely on the compulsion as a temporary escape. Compulsions can also include avoiding situations that trigger obsessions. Compulsions are time consuming and get in the way of important activities the person values.   Common Compulsions in OCD  Sources What is OCD? Article by the International OCD Foundation on their website  WebMD article How Do I Know if I Have OCD? By Danny Bonvissuto February 19. 2020  Northpointrecovery.com blog What Types of OCD Are There? Get the Breakdown Here by the Northpoit Staff from May 3, 2019  Article entitled Common Types of OCD: Subtypes, Their Symptoms and the Best Treatment by Patrick Carey dated July 6, 2021   Washing and Cleaning Washing hands excessively or in a certain way  Excessive showering, bathing, toothbrushing, grooming  Cleaning items or objects excessively   Checking Checking that you did not or will not harm anyone  Checking that you did not or will not harm yourself  Checking that nothing terrible happened  Checking that you did not make a mistake  Checking specific parts of your body   Repeating Re-reading or re-writing   Repeating routine activities Going in and out of doors  Getting up and down from chairs   Repeating body movements Tapping  Touching  Blinking   Repeating activities in multiples Doing things three times, because three is a good, right or safe number   Mental Compulsions Mental review of events to prevent harm (to oneself others, to prevent terrible consequences)  Praying to prevent harm (to oneself others, to prevent terrible consequences)  Counting while performing a task to end on a “good,” “right,” or “safe” number  Cancelling” or “Undoing” (example: replacing a “bad” word with a “good” word to cancel it out)    Putting things in order or arranging things until it “feels right” or are in perfect symmetry Telling asking or confessing to get reassurance Avoiding situations that might trigger your obsessions  Obsessions and Compulsions go together  The vicious cycle of OCD -- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at helpguide.org Obsessive thought  --  I could stab my nephew with this knife.  Anxiety -- that would be a terrible thing to happen, I can't let that happen  Compulsion -- Locking all the knives away, checking to make sure they are all accounted for when your sibling and her family are visiting  Temporary relief -- the knives are all there.  “A physical sensation crawls up my arm as I avoid compulsions. But if I complete it, the world resets itself for a moment like everything will be just fine. But only for a moment.” —  Mardy M. Berlinger Harm Obsession     Compulsion:  Keeping all knives hidden away somewhere What if I killed my nephew and I just can't remember?  Repeatedly going back to check if you ran someone over DSM-5 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:  The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.  The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition.  The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder   Specify if: With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true.  With poor insight:  The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true.  With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true. 4%  With Tic disorder up to 30%   What is the experience of OCD Poem By Forti.no   Quotes: “You lose time. You lose entire blocks of your day to obsessive thoughts or actions. I spend so much time finishing songs in my car before I can get out or redoing my entire shower routine because I lost count of how many times I scrubbed my left arm.” — Kelly Hill  “Ever seen ‘Inside Out'? With OCD, it's like Doubt has its own control console.” — Josey Eloy Franco  “Imagine all your worst thoughts as a soundtrack running through your mind 24/7, day after day.” — Adam Walker Cleveland  “Picture standing in a room filled with flies and pouring a bottle of syrup over yourself. The flies constantly swarm about you, buzzing around your head and in your face. You swat and swat, but they keep coming. The flies are like obsessional thoughts — you can't stop them, you just have to fend them off. The swatting is like compulsions — you can't resist the urge to do it, even though you know it won't really keep the flies at bay more than for a brief moment.” — Cheryl Little Sutton  “It's like you have two brains — a rational brain and an irrational brain. And they're constantly fighting.” — Emilie Ford   Who 12 month prevalence is 1.2% with international prevalence rates from 1.1 to 1.8%  NIH Women have a higher prevalence 1.8% than men 0.5%.  Males more affected in childhood.  Lifetime prevalence 2.3%   Risk Factors:  DSM-5  Temperamental Factors Greater internalizing symptoms  Higher negative emotionality  Behavioral inhibition   Environmental Factors Childhood physical abuse  Childhood sexual abuse  Other stressful or traumatic events   Genetic Monozygotic concordance rates --.57  Dizygotic concordance rates .22   Physiological  Dysfunction in the orbitofrontal cortex, anterior cingulate cortex, and striatum have been implicated.   Streptococcal infection can precede the development of OCD symptoms in children Therapy  Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) -- Developed originally in the 1970s Stanley Rachman's work a type of behavioral therapy  that exposes the person to situations that provoke their obsessions causing distress, usually anxiety which leads to  the urge to engage in the compulsion  that gives them the temporary relief.   The goal of ERP is to break the cycle of obsessions --> anxiety --> compulsion --> temporary relief.  So you are exposed to you anxiety provoking stimulus, and have the obsession, but you prevent the compulsive response, and you don't get the temporary relief.  Basic premise: As individuals confront their fears and no longer engage in their escape response, they will eventually reduce their anxiety. The goal is to habituate, or get used to the feelings of the obsessions, without having to engage in the compulsive behavior.  This increases the capacity to handle discomfort and anxiety.  Then one is no longer reinforced by the temporary anxiety relief that the compulsion provides.   Patrick Carey writes that: Any behavior that engages with the obsession– e.g. asking for reassurance, avoidance, rumination– reinforces it. By preventing these behaviors, ERP teaches people that they can tolerate their distress without turning to compulsions. It thereby drains obsessions of their power.  Division 12 of the APA   Essence of therapy: Individuals with OCD repeatedly confront the thoughts, images, objects, and situations that make them anxious and/or start their obsessions in a systematic fashion, without performing compulsive behaviors that typically serve to reduce anxiety. Through this process, the individual learns that there is nothing to fear and the obsessions no longer cause distress. From the IOCDF :  With ERP, the difference is that when you make the choice to confront your anxiety and obsessions you must also make a commitment to not give in and engage in the compulsive behavior. When you don't do the compulsive behaviors, over time you will actually feel a drop in your anxiety level. This natural drop in anxiety that happens when you stay “exposed” and “prevent” the compulsive “response” is called habituation. Instead, a person is forced to confront their obsessive thoughts relentlessly. The goal is to make the sufferer so accustomed to their obsessions that they no longer feel tempted to engage in soothing compulsions. Types of Exposure -- GoodTherapy.org article Imaginal Exposure: In this type of exposure, a person in therapy is asked to mentally confront the fear or situation by picturing it in one's mind. For example, a person with agoraphobia, a fear of crowded places, might imagine standing in a crowded mall.  In Vivo Exposure: When using this type of exposure, a person is exposed to real-life objects and scenarios. For example, a person with a fear of flying might go to the airport and watch a plane take off.  Virtual Reality Exposure: This type of exposure combines elements of both imaginal and in vivo exposure so that a person is placed in situations that appear real but are actually fabricated. For example, someone who has a fear of heights—acrophobia—might participate in a virtual simulation of climbing down a fire escape.   Steven Pence, and colleagues in a 2010 article in the American Journal of Psychotherapy:  "When exposures go wrong: Troubleshooting guidelines for managing difficult scenarios that arise in Exposure-based treatment for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder The present article reviews five issues that occur in therapy but have been minimally discussed in the OCD treatment literature:  1) when clients fail to habituate to their anxiety -- they don't calm down2) when clients misjudge how much anxiety an exposure will actually cause3) when incidental exposures happen in session -- other fears in the fear hierarchy intrude.  4) when mental or covert rituals interfere with treatment -- covert compulsive behaviors5) when clients demonstrate exceptionally high anxiety sensitivity.  Stacey Smith Counseling at stacysmithcounseling.com -- ERP failures Utilizing safety behaviors  Not sitting with the anxiety until it dissipates -- distracting yourself  Not working through all the irrational, unhelpful thoughts  Not practicing often enough.   ERP criticisms  Can be really unpleasant for clients -- repeated exposures to terrifying stimuli -- can there be a better way? Concerns about safety and security   Concerns about flooding with anxiety  Ben Blum: Inside the Revolutionary Treatment That Could Change Psychotherapy Forever  elemental.medium.com July 21, 2020 Robert Fox is haunted by a memory of a germophobic woman with OCD whom he met once while she was hospitalized. As part of her ERP therapy, the therapists took her into the bathroom and had her wipe her hands over the toilet and sink and then rub them through her hair. She wasn't permitted to shower until the next morning.   Concerns about dropout rates.   Dropout rate of 18.7% across 21 ERP studies with 1400 participants Clarissa Ong and colleagues in 2016 article in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders Dropout rate of 10% among youth for ERP in a 2019 meta-analysis by Carly Johnco and her colleagues in the Journal "Depression and Anxiety" 11 randomized trials I'm concerned that it doesn't go deep enough  Not getting to root causes -- staying at the symptom level -- seeing symptoms as nonsensical One thing which I can't stress enough is that OCD is completely nonsensical and will not listen to reason. This is one of the most frightening things about having it. I knew that to anyone I told, there are Salvador Dali paintings that make more sense. - Author: Joe Wells   What is the fear really about.  Let's not just ignore it.  Fear is a response to something. Tracing back layers, going back through grief and anger, all the way to shame.  Shame episodes 37-49.   Doesn't get to any spiritual issues Medication  International OCD Foundation Drugs and dosages High doses are often needed for these drugs to work in most people.   Research suggests that the following doses may be needed:  fluvoxamine (Luvox®) – up to 300 mg/day  fluoxetine (Prozac®) – 40-80 mg/day  sertraline (Zoloft®) – up to 200 mg/day   paroxetine (Paxil®) – 40-60 mg/day   citalopram (Celexa®) – up to 40 mg/day*   clomipramine (Anafranil®) – up to 250 mg/day  escitalopram (Lexapro®) – up to 40 mg/day   venlafaxine (Effexor®) – up to 375 mg/day   How Do These Medications Work?  From the International OCD Foundation.  It remains unclear as to how these particular drugs help OCD. The good news is that after decades of research, we know how to treat patients, even though we do not know exactly why our treatments work. We do know that each of these medications affect a chemical in the brain called serotonin. Serotonin is used by the brain as a messenger. If your brain does not have enough serotonin, then the nerves in your brain might not be communicating right. Adding these medications to your body can help boost your serotonin and get your brain back on track.   Discussion of conventional approaches  Medication  I am not a physician -- I'm a psychologist and I don't have prescription privileges I don't give advice on medication choices or on dosages or anything like that.  If you think your medication is helping your OCD, I'm not going to argue with you about that --  I don't want to try to dissuade anyone from taking medication for psychological issues if they think it's helping them.   Here's the thing, though.  So much of your thinking about medication depends on what you see as the cause of the problem It makes sense to take medication if you think the obsessions and compulsions pop up because of chemical imbalances.   You take the medication to restore the chemical balance and reduce the symptoms.  So many of treatments for OCD treat the obsessions and compulsions as meaningless, as irrational, as just the random epiphenomena of consciousness, or just as nonsensical expressions of miswiring in the brain or just the effects of poorly balanced neurochemical in the brain.     And so these approaches, like ERP that and medication that target the obsessions and compulsions for eradication, that seek to vanquish them result in multiple problems  I think that is a major, major mistake.   And here is what I want to emphasize.  Obsessions and Compulsions are symptoms.  They are symptoms.  Obsessions and compulsions, as painful and as debilitating as they are for many people, those obsessions and compulsions are not the primary problem.  They are the effects of the primary problem.  Obsessions and compulsions happen late in the causal chain.  I see meaning in every obsession and in every compulsion.  I see a message in every obsession and compulsion.  A cry for help, a signal of deeper distress.   There are cases in which a psychological problem can be purely or primarily organic -- due to a medical condition -- for example due to head trauma that causes brain damage.  Or a brain tumor on the pituitary gland that disrupts your whole endocrine system, resulting in mood swings. But, Most of the time, though, psychological symptoms have psychological causes.   As a Catholic psychologist, I want to move much further back in the causal chain.  I want to address and resolve the underlying issues that give rise to the obsessions in the first place.   Self Help  Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at helpguide.org  Identify your triggers Can help you anticipate your urges  Create a solid mental picture and then make a mental note. Tell yourself, “The window is now closed,” or “I can see that the oven is turned off.”  When the urge to check arises later, you will find it easier to re-label it as “just an obsessive thought.”   Learn to resist OCD compulsions by repeatedly exposing yourself to your OCD triggers, you can learn to resist the urge to complete your compulsive rituals --  exposure and response prevention (ERP)  Build your fear ladder -- working your way up to more and more frightening things.   Resist the urge to do your compulsive behavior The anxiety will fade You're not going to lose control or have a breakdown Practice Challenge Obsessive thoughts Thoughts are just thoughts   Write down obsessive thoughts and compulsions Writing it all down will help you see just how repetitive your obsessions are.  Writing down the same phrase or urge hundreds of times will help it lose its power.  Writing thoughts down is much harder work than simply thinking them, so your obsessive thoughts are likely to disappear sooner.   Challenge your obsessive thoughts. Use your worry period to challenge negative or intrusive thoughts by asking yourself What's the evidence that the thought is true? That it's not true? Have I confused a thought with a fact?   Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?  What's the probability that what I'm scared of will actually happen? If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?   Is the thought helpful? How will obsessing about it help me and how will it hurt me?   What would I say to a friend who had this thought?   Create an OCD worry period. Rather than trying to suppress obsessions or compulsions, develop the habit of rescheduling them. Choose one or two 10-minute “worry periods” each day, time you can devote to obsessing.  During your worry period, focus only on negative thoughts or urges. Don't try to correct them. At the end of the worry period, take a few calming breaths, let the obsessive thoughts go, and return to your normal activities. The rest of the day, however, is to be designated free of obsessions.  When thoughts come into your head during the day, write them down and “postpone” them to your worry period.   Create a tape of your OCD obsessions or intrusive thoughts. Focus on one specific thought or obsession and record it to a tape recorder or smartphone.  Recount the obsessive phrase, sentence, or story exactly as it comes into your mind.  Play the tape back to yourself, over and over for a 45-minute period each day, until listening to the obsession no longer causes you to feel highly distressed.   By continuously confronting your worry or obsession you will gradually become less anxious. You can then repeat the exercise for a different obsession.   Reach our for support Stay connected to family and friends.  Join an OCD support group.  Manage Stress Quickly self-soothe and relieve anxiety symptoms by making use of one or more of your physical senses—sight, smell, hearing, touch, taste—or movement. You might try listening to a favorite piece of music, looking at a treasured photo, savoring a cup of tea, or stroking a pet.   Practice relaxation techniques. Mindful meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and other relaxation techniques can help lower your overall stress and tension levels and help you manage your urges. For best results, try practicing a relaxation technique regularly. Lifestyle changes Exercise regularly  Get enough sleep  Avoid alcohol and nicotine   Not sure this is going to work.  Doesn't get to root causes.   IFS as an alternative From Verywellmind.com  What is Internal Family Systems?  By Theodora Blanchfield, August 22, 2021    What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy? Internal family systems, or IFS, is a type of therapy that believes we are all made up of several parts or sub-personalities. It draws from structural, strategic, narrative, and Bowenian types of family therapy. The founder, Dr. Richard Schwartz, thought of the mind as an inner family and began applying techniques to individuals that he usually used with families.  The underlying concept of this theory is that we all have several parts living within us that fulfill both healthy and unhealthy roles. Life events or trauma, however, can force us out of those healthy roles into extreme roles. The good news is that these internal roles are not static and can change with time and work. The goal of IFS therapy is to achieve balance within the internal system and to differentiate and elevate the self so it can be an effective leader in the system.   Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.  Robert Fox and Alessio Rizzo  have done the most work with IFS to work with obsessions and compulsions.    Sources IFS and Hope with OCD with Alessio Rizzo and Robert Fox -- Episode 102 of Tammy Sollenberger's podcast The One Inside -- September 17, 2021  Podcast IFS Talks:  Hosts Aníbal Henriques & Tisha Shull  A Talk with Robert Fox on OCD-types -- Robert Fox   February 20, 2021   Robert Fox, IFS therapist with OCD  Ben Blum: Inside the Revolutionary Treatment That Could Change Psychotherapy Forever  elemental.medium.com July 21, 2020 https://elemental.medium.com/inside-the-revolutionary-treatment-that-could-change-psychotherapy-forever-8be035d54770   Robert Fox, a therapist in Woburn, Massachusetts, also wishes more people knew about IFS. Diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder at age 21 after a lifetime of unusual compulsions, he spent 23 years receiving the standard care: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure response prevention (ERP). Neither had much effect, especially ERP, which involved repeatedly exposing himself to things he was anxious about in the hopes of gradually habituating to them. “When you think about it, it's a very painful method of therapy,” he says. Fox discovered IFS in 2008. Before, he had always been encouraged to think of his compulsions as meaningless pathologies. Now, for the first time, they began making sense to him as the behavior of protectors who were trying to manage the underlying shame and fear of exiles. After two particularly powerful unburdenings, his symptoms abated by 95% and stayed that way. “[OCD] used to be almost like kryptonite around my neck when I would have serious flare-ups,” he says. “I feel a lot of freedom and peace and I really owe it to Dick [Schwartz] and the model.” Concerns about ERP  ERP doesn't bring the curiosity -- why did this happen?   Obsessions are not irrational and Compulsions are not meaningless Alessio Rizzo Conventional OCD diagnosis and treatment ERP and medication -- nothing points back to underlying causes. Alessio Rizzo:  Evidence-based approaches for OCD that work -- they work by drawing a manager part into a role of suppressing OCD symptoms  Needing to continue ERP.   Causes:  Fox Repressed anger. -- not a parent who could witness   Intense shame that is dissociated Shame from childhood -- exiled  Shame from the OCD itself.  -- sarcasm from others, especially from his older brother.   “OCD is like having a bully stuck inside your head and nobody else can see it.” — Krissy McDermott   We hide what we are ashamed of -- not easy to treat.   Fox on his treatment:  Right. I didn't see it myself until one day I was out for a walk with my dog Gizmo around my block, walking around the block with him and I had been to all these lectures about shame and I was walking one day and all of a sudden it was like, it just came to me “Holy, Holy, Holy shit. I carry that shame.” And it was like a dark cloud that was overhead and just kind of followed me wherever I went. And it was actually not an awful thing to realize. That's what had been basically walking around on my back for so long. It was this deep shame. In agreement with how central I think shame is to OCD Obsessions and compulsions develop gradually and experiment with different ways of drawing attention away from the intensity of underlying experience.  All happens in silence in the inner world.   An obsession or compulsion distracts us from the pain of an exile.  If I'm worrying about the gas in the lawnmower overflowing and blowing up the house -- takes me away from the shame of feeling inadequate at work.   Needs to be powerful enough to hijack my mind So many layers of protectors  -- takes time Alessio Rizzo Post dated March 3, 2021 entitled "IFS and OCD -- A Comparison Between CBT and IFS for OCD.  https://www.therapywithalessio.com/articles/ifs-and-ocd-how-does-the-ifs-method-work-for-ocd In IFS, we use the language of parts to describe how we function. As a consequence, the OCD is considered a part of the person. This means that, even if the OCD seems quite a strong presence in the client's life, there is much more to a person than OCD.  At this stage CBT and IFS might look similar because CBT also encourages clients to label the anxieties and the intrusive thoughts that form the OCD and not engage with them.  The main difference between CBT and IFS is in how we relate to the OCD part.  One of the foundational elements of IFS is that all parts are welcome, and, therefore, the OCD part is not dismissed or ignored, but it is respected. Respect does not mean that the client will believe the content of intrusive thoughts or that they will follow up on whatever behaviour the OCD wants. IFS gives us a way to make sure that there is enough safety and calm before offering respect to the OCD part. This might take a different amount of attempts depending on the severity of the OCD, and on the strength of the relationship between therapist and client.  Healing OCD with IFS  The main difference between CBT and IFS is in the definition of “cure” of OCD.  CBT therapy has the ultimate goal of empowering the client to overcome OCD thoughts and anxieties by never engaging with them or by using exposure therapy to demonstrate that the OCD fears and obsessions have got no evidence to exist.  IFS believes that healing is the result of the re-organisation of parts so that extreme behaviour is substituted by more functional ways of thinking and acting, and, above all, IFS aims at healing the traumatic events that have led to the development of OCD symptoms.    The result of healing the trauma that fuels OCD is a spontaneous decrease of OCD anxieties and intrusive thoughts and, in my opinion, this form of healing is preferable to the one described by CBT. Using IFS language, the CBT approach aims at creating a new part in the system that is tasked with managing the OCD, while there is no attention paid to discovery and healing of the trauma that is fueling the OCD.Choosing the method that best suits you There is no way of saying what method works best for a person.  Therapy outcomes depend on many factors and not only on the method used. Sometimes the quality of the therapeutic relationship is the biggest healing factor, and it is ultimately up to the client to find the best combination of therapist and method that can best suit them. Colleen West, LMFT LMFT  December 20 post on her website colleenwest.com  Treating OCD with Internal Family Systems Parts Work Just a word about treating OCD with IFS versus Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Treating obsessive and compulsive parts with IFS is diametrically opposed to treating it in the Exposure and Response Prevention, the most commonly recommended approach. IFS treats OCD parts as what they are--managers and fire fighters, they have jobs to do. If you can help the exiles underneath these protectors, there will be less need for the OCD behaviors. (This might be complicated if there are still constant stressors in the client's life, for which they need the protection.)   IFS does work, and I have successfully treated people with full blown OCD who now have about 5% of their original symptoms only during moments of high stress, and they do not consider themselves OCD anymore. These clients have been helped by taking SSRIs as well, which I will say more about below.ERP works to suppress those same protectors that IFS seeks to understand/care for. It does "work", as people get a strategy for the thoughts that are driving them nuts, but the folks I know who have gone through this treatment find they have to do their 'homework' forever or the OCD comes back, and they always feel it threatening. In short, it is stressful, and the fight is never over.For anyone doing ERP, they have to commit fully to that approach, the homework is hours a day, and one cannot be halfhearted about it or it won't work. The good thing about ERP is that it gives people some control, which they strongly desire, because they feel so powerless. Next episode Episode 87, will come out on December 6, 2022 Scrupulosity --  I have such a different take -- Scrupulosity is what happens with perfectionism and OCD get religion.   Spiritual and Psychological elements.   In the last episode we really got into understanding perfectionism.  In this episode, we worked on really getting to know about obsessions and compulsions.  Next episode, we get much more into scrupulosity.  My own battle with scrupulosity.   Remember, you as a listener can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Resilient Catholics Community.  Talked a lot about it in episode 84, two episodes ago.  We now have 106 on the waiting list.  Reopening the community on December 1 for those on the waiting list first.  Can learn a lot more about the RCC and you can sign up at soulsandhearts.com/rcc.  We have had heavy demand.  We may have to limit how many we bring in.  I am working to clear time in my calendar to review the Initial Measures Kits and help new members through the onboarding process -- all the individual attention takes time.  I'm also hiring more staff to help.   Pray for me.  Humility.  Childlike trust   Invocations        

Robert Falconer, researcher at the University of Calgary School of Public Policy – Social Policy and Health Research Division, specializing in immigration and refugee related issues See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robert Falconer, Researcher in Immigration and Refugee Policy, University of Calgary See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  Join me as we discover explore all the elements of perfectionism, from its root causes to its surface manifestations, through an Internal Family Systems lens, grounded in a Catholic world view.  Through poetry, quotes, research findings, personal examples and the current professional literature, I pull together many strands into a unified whole to help you deeply grasp the internal experience of perfectionism. Intro The Quintessential Persona    Leanna Smith   We are together in this great adventure, this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am honored to be able to spend this time with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.   We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.    Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com Let's get into answering the questions -- the who, what, where, when, why, and how of perfectionism.  This is episode 85 of the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast it's titled:  Perfectionism:  Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How Perfectionism -- a major, major problem for so many Catholics.   A major, major problem for so many of us.  Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill  2019 Psychological Bulletin Article:  Perfectionism Is Increasing Over Time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences From 1989 to 2016 reviewed dozens of studies from a 27 year timespan all using the same instrument  the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale by Hewitt and Flett  164 study samples comprising more than 41,000 college students in the US, Canada and Great Britain between 1989 and 2016  Results:  there is no doubt.  Perfectionism among college students is on the rise.  Between 1989 and 2016,  the scores for socially prescribed perfectionism —  or perceiving that other have excessive expectations of me — increased by 33%.  Other-oriented expectations — putting unrealistic expectations on others — went up 16% and self-oriented perfectionism — our irrational desire to be perfect — increased 10%   The Who of Perfectionism -- the Parts The What of Perfectionism -- What is it?  What are the different kinds of perfectionism, what are the elements? Where Does Perfectionism Come From Within Us When Does Perfectionism Get Activated? Why Does Perfectionism Start and Why Does it Keep Going? How Do We Overcome Perfectionism?  How do we resolve it?  Not just a descriptive diagnosis, but a proscriptive conceptualization that gives a direction for healing, resolving the perfectionism.  Not just symptom management, this is your cross nonsense.  There are real crosses that God gives us. Yes.  But those crosses fit well.  The crosses we impose upon ourselves do not fit well.    What -- What is perfectionism?  You know that I want precise definitions when we dive into deep topics together.  I think it's ironic that there is a lot of unclear, sloppy thinking about perfectionism by perfectionists.  Shining a bright clear light on it.   Definition of Perfectionism Brene Brown:  The Gifts of Imperfection:  Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels the primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize painful feelings or shame, judgment and blame  Marc Foley O.C.D.  Editor of Story of a Soul: Study Edition  There is an unhealthy striving for perfection which psychologists call perfectionism. Perfectionism is the state of being driven to achieve a standard of perfection in an area of life that is fueled by either the fear of failure or the need for approval. This unhealthy striving is not the type of perfection to which God calls us.   So you may have perfectionistic parts that would like to challenge me on this.  Your perfectionistic parts may say to me  So, Dr. Peter, Mr. Catholic Psychologist, you want us to have low standards, huh?  You think that would be better, for us to be lazy, to be weak, to take our ease, to relax, to give up the fight, to be mediocre, to be lukewarm, huh?  Is that what you are saying?  Didn't St. Jerome say:  Good, better, best, never let it rest, 'till your good is better, and your better's best  First off, let's start with your quote.  Often attributed to St. Jerome, but there's no evidence for it in his writings:  Fr. Horton addresses this alleged quote on his blog fauxtations.   September 26, 2016 post.  "Good, better, best: St. Jerome?" Oldest google books attribution is from 2009.   1904 Dictionary of Modern Proverbs  1897 Christian Work: Illustrated Family Newspaper.   Others attribute it to Tim Duncan, NBA all-star player, often considered the greatest power forward of all time.   I want you to pursue excellence.   Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence or a commitment to self-improvement. There is a critical distinction between striving for excellence and perfectionism.   Let's discuss what perfectionism is not.    Brene Brown:  Perfectionism is not self-improvement./ Perfectionism is, at it's core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance  Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, we adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Healthy striving is self-focused – How can I improve? Perfectionism – is other focused – What will they think?” End quote.  What will they think? Brene Brown  Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead:  “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is a defensive move. It's the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.”  Agnes M. Stairs, Smith, Zapolski, Combs, and Settles:  Clarifying the construct of perfectionism Assessment 2012  732 people 15 different perfectionism measures -- Factor analytic modeling  Found nine different personality traits associated with perfectionism:  Need for Order, Need for Satisfaction of a Job Well Done, Details and Checking, Perfectionism toward Others, High Personal Standards, Black and White Thinking about Tasks, Perceived Pressure from Others, Dissatisfaction with Personal Performance, Reactivity to Mistakes.   9 personality traits  Order  I like things to be neat  Things should always be put away in their place  I like to be orderly in the way I do things   Satisfaction I feel satisfied with my work after I do something well  I get excited when I do a good job  I feel great satisfaction when I feel I have perfected something   Details and Checking I often check my work carefully to make sure there are no mistakes  It takes me a long time to do something because I check my work   many times Perfectionism toward Others I have high standards for the people who are important to me  I expect a lot from my friends   I expect others to excel at whatever they do   High Standards I set extremely high standards for myself  I expect high levels of performance from myself  I have very high goals   Black and White Thinking about Tasks and Activities I will not do something if I cannot do it perfectly  There's no point in doing something if I cannot do it perfectly   Perceived Pressure from Others People expect high levels of performance from me  Others expect me to be perfect  I often feel that people make excessive demands of me   Dissatisfaction It feels like my best is never good enough   I often don't live up to my own standards  I rarely feel that what I have done is good enough   Reactivity to Mistakes When I make a mistake, I feel really bad  If one thing goes wrong, I feel that I cannot do anything right  I feel like a complete failure if I do not do something perfectly   Signs of Being a Perfectionist  GoodTherapy.org article last updated 11-05-2019  Not be able to perform a task unless they know they can do it perfectly.  View the end product as the most important part of any undertaking. As a result, they may focus less on the process of learning or completing a task to the best of their ability.  Not see a task as finished until the result is perfect according to their standards.  Procrastinate. People with perfectionism may not want to begin a task until they know they can do it perfectly.  Take an excessive amount of time to complete a task that does not typically take others long to complete.  Examples of Perfectionistic Behaviors -- GoodTherapy.org article last updated 11-05-2019 Spending 30 minutes writing and rewriting a two-sentence email.  Believing that missing two points on a test is a sign of failure.  Difficulty being happy for others who are successful.  Holding oneself to the standards of others' accomplishments or comparing oneself unfavorably and unrealistically to others.  Skipping class or avoiding a chore because it is pointless to make an effort unless perfection can be achieved.  Focusing on the end product rather than the process of learning.  Avoiding playing a game or trying a new activity with friends for fear of being shown up as less than perfect.   The Who of Perfectionism -- the Parts Definition of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.  You can also think of them as separate modes of operating if that is helpful.   Types of perfectionism -- Jay Early IFS therapist Self-Therapy Volume 3.  Four types of perfectionist parts -- Not-enough perfectionist  Creative Block perfectionist  Control perfectionist  Inner Critic   Not-Enough perfectionist Always must do more on your projects -- not good enough yet.   Working right up to deadlines, perfecting.   Afraid to finish project because your perfectionistic parts believe this will expose your shortcomings and led to being judged  and ridiculed -- humiliation.   Creative Block Perfectionist Need to be perfect the first time  Ideas are not good enough  Fear of being judged and rejected.   Mike Litman:  You don't have to get it right.  You just have to get it going.  This podcast is an example.  Didn't know what I was doing.  Early episodes were very different.  Learning curve.  How many people listened?  Not many.   Control perfectionist World must be perfectly in control and in order.   I must always do the right thing.   I must always make the right choice   Rigid control over behavior Saps vitality  Obliterates sponteneity   Need predictability to feel safe   Inner Critic  Enforces the goals of being perfect Judges and shames about your work, your life, your spiritual practices  Labels you stupid, incompetent, sloppy, inadequate or bad.   Good intention:  to help you avoid being judged or shamed for mistakes.   Types of Inner Critic:  Jay Earley Personal-Growth-Programs.com  -- Transforming your Inner Critic.  Freedom from your Inner Critic.   Perfectionist This critic tries to get you to do things perfectly.  It sets high standards for the things your produce, and has difficulty saying something is complete and letting it go out to represent your best work.  It tries to make sure that you fit in and that you will not be judged or rejected.  Its expectations probably reflect those of people who have been important to you in the past.   Guilt-Tripper This critic is stuck in the past. It is unable to forgive you for wrongs you have done or people you have hurt.  It is concerned about relationships and holds you to standards of behavior prescribed by your community, culture and family  It tries to protect you from repeating past mistakes by making sure you never forget or feel free.   Underminer This critic tries to undermine your self-confidence and self-esteem so that you won't take risks.  It makes direct attacks on your self-worth so that you will stay small and not take chances where you could be hurt or rejected.  It is afraid of your being too big or too visible and not being able to tolerate judgment or failure.   Destroyer It makes pervasive attacks on your fundamental self worth.  It shames you and makes you feel inherently flawed and not entitled to basic understanding or respect.  This most debilitating critic, comes from early life deprivation or trauma.  It is motivated by a belief that it is safer not to exist.   Molder This critic tries to get you to fit into a certain mold based on standards held by society, your culture or your family.  It wants you to be liked and admired and to protect you from being abandoned, shamed or rejected.  The Molder fears that the Rebel or the Free Spirit in you would act in ways that are unacceptable. So it keeps you from being in touch with and expressing your true nature.   Taskmaster This critic wants you to work hard and be successful.  It fears that you may be mediocre or lazy and will be judged a failure if it does not push you to keep going.  Its pushing often activates a procrastinator or a rebel that fights against its harsh dictates.   Inner Controller This critic tries to control your impulses: eating, drinking, sexual activity, etc.  It is polarized with an Indulger –addict who it fears can get out of control at any moment.  It tends to be harsh and shaming in an effort to protect you from yourself.  It is motivated to try to make you a good person who is accepted and functions well in society.   Three Main Manager Roles Contribute to Perfectionism in Catholics.   Often in serious Catholics there is a triumvirate of managers who govern the system if there is not sufficient self-energy.   Triumvirate   trium virum, genitive plural of tres viri "three men," from tres "three" (see three) + viri, plural of vir "man"  a group of three men holding power, in particular ( the First Triumvirate ) the unofficial coalition of Julius Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus in 60 BC and ( the Second Triumvirate ) a coalition formed by Antony, Lepidus, and Octavian in 43 BC. Standard Bearer, Primary Manager and the Inner Critic.   Talking only about Catholics here, Catholics who take their faith seriously. I'm going to simplify this down.  Three roles.    Most people are mostly blended most of the time.   Rare for someone to be really recollected at a natural level And most of the time with reasonably well functioning people, the blend is with a manager.   Managers are the parts who run our systems in such a ways as to proactively minimize exiles being activated and breaking through Managers handle the day-to-day activities Some of these managers are very, very competent, very good at what they do.  Efficient, effective.  They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt.  They work really hard to keep you safe. controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging,  Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding.    Three major roles in perfectionism.  The standard bearer, the primary manager, and the internal critic.   Standard Bearer  Definition of a Standard for a military unit -- Wikipedia:  A bright, colorful flag acting as a strong visual beacon to the soldiers of the unit -- -- it doesn't always have to be a flag.  The standard for a Roman Legion was their aquila -- their eagle. The standard of the Roman Legion, the eagle had quasi-religious importance to the Roman soldier, far beyond being merely a symbol of his legion.  To lose a standard was extremely grave, and the Roman military went to great lengths both to protect a standard and to recover it if it were lost   Is the standard the deep and loving relationship with God?  Nope. Is the standard the close, intimate relationship with our Mother Mary?  Nyet.   What is the standard that the standard bearer carries aloft The standard is the unwritten list of rules and expectations that the standard bearer has come up with by his or her own limited vision, about what he or she things Gods wants from us.   The standard is the code of conduct that the standard bearer wishes to impose on all the parts The standard might be quite unreasonable, especially in the extreme cases of perfectionism and scrupulosity  And the standard needs to be interpreted -- other parts are not deemed capable of deciphering the standard.  Oh no.  Who needs to decipher and interpret the standard?  That's right, you've got it -- the standard bearer.  In the tripartite Freudian model of the mind, The standard bearer corresponds to the superego.   The standard bearer wants to act in the role of conscience, giving directives to the system.  Why?  To keep us safe and secure.  That's the goal.  Safe from internal enemies (such as exiles with their burdens -- especially shame -- the exiles with their burdens are Freud's Id) and external enemies.  Satan, demons, villains of all kinds  And also to keep us safe from God's Wrath.  Or God's Apathy.  Or God's disappointment.  Or Something Undesirable from God -- you like, like being smited with a thunderbolt.   Good Boy in my system  IIC 71 -- A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others If blended.  That's key if he blends with me, takes over with other managers, he will lapse into this role of being a standard bearer.  Otherwise, he's not like that.   Primary Manager This is a part that is blended and in charge almost all the time in fairly "well-adjusted people."   When there seems to be a consistent single "personality" you are often seeing what I call the primary manager part.   This part can have a lot of self-energy, and only blend to certain degree.   This part can also believe that it is essentially the self, or that it needs to function in the role of the self  Primary manager parts either Doesn't trust the self  Or forget.  Lapse back into old patterns  Or get caught up when exiles are activated.   Collaborator in my system -- formerly the Competent One Inner Critic Evaluator in my system.  Formerly my Internal Critic.  My internal critic's attitude toward farms growing up in Wisconsin.   If I ever have a farm.   Now I have a farm.  Radical new views.  Never painted my barn.   How my parts work together on this podcast episode When I am blended and have taken over the self, I set the standards.  I speak for God. I am in the role of standard bearer.   When I am blended, I shielded Good Boy from the unreasonableness of his demands.  I goaded Collaborator, pressed him on to ever better performance.  I am the workhorse.  Executing.  Trying to make it all happen   I'm a firefighter.  I get angry and rebel against the triumvirate of managers -- YouTube time.   Other firefighter activity -- Chocolate, video games, masturbation, porn, food, shopping, chocolate.   Backlash exacerbates the polarization.     I work to protect us.   Where Does Perfectionism Come From Perfectionism is a symptom.  It's an effect of a deeper issue. Still a problem in itself.  Curran and Hall:  Our findings suggest that self-oriented perfectionism, socially prescribed perfectionism, and other-oriented perfectionism have increased over the last 27 years. We speculate that this may be because, generally, American, Canadian, and British cultures have become more individualistic, materialistic, and socially antagonistic over this period, with young people now facing more competitive environments, more unrealistic expectations, and more anxious and controlling parents than generations before.  Pete Walker  “Perfectionism is the unparalleled defense for emotionally abandoned children. The existential unattainability of perfection saves the child from giving up, unless or until, scant success forces him to retreat into the depression of a dissociative disorder, or launches him hyperactively into an incipient conduct disorder. Perfectionism also provides a sense of meaning and direction for the powerless and unsupported child. In the guise of self-control, striving to be perfect offers a simulacrum of a sense of control. Self-control is also safer to pursue because abandoning parents typically reserve their severest punishment for children who are vocal about their negligence.”  Jay Earley:  Self-Therapy Vol. 3 chapter on perfectionism.   Fear Need for approval Marie Forleo, Everything is Figureoutable “Perfectionism at its core isn't about high standards. It's about fear. Fear of failure. Fear of looking stupid, fear of making a mistake, fear of being judged, criticized, and ridiculed. It's the fear that one simple fact might be true:  You're just not good enough. Michael Law  “At its root, perfectionism isn't really about a deep love of being meticulous. It's about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” Hiding -- driven by shame.  Genesis 3.  Chinonye J. Chidolue  “Perfection is a faux. It's a mask carved by our own poor esteem to hide who we really are and make others see what really isn't us.”  But what's behind those?  Let's go deeper Shame.  Deep sense of fundamental inadequacy.  Not being loved.  Not being lovable.  Essentially flawed.  Being bad.  Unworthy.   Episodes 37-49     When Does Perfectionism Get Activated?   Some are perfectionistic all the time Some are episodic. Some of the time.  Situation factors or internal factors activate Shame.   Fear Anger Shame is:  a primary emotion, a bodily reaction, a signal,  a judgement, and an action.   Why Does it Keep Going?  Self Images Shame -- that is the main driver of perfectionism.  I am unacceptable as I am right now.  I have to engage in a self-improvement program.   That's what he took away from experience.  Not just taught, but construed.   The potential to become good enough to earn the love -- provides hope for the future in the short run.   But hamster on a wheel.   Breeds rebellion, acting out.   Perfectionistic parts always get what they don't want.  Winding up alienated, isolated, alone Glennon Doyle Melton  "We can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved."  Ze Frank -- salty quote:  “Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he's a bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties.”  How Do We Overcome Perfectionism?  Standard Advice -- focused on symtpoms  Oregon Counseling Become more aware of your tendencies toward perfectionism  Focus on the Positives  Allow yourself to make mistakes  Set more reasonable goals  Learn how to receive Criticism  Lower the pressure you put on yourself  Focus on meaning over perfection  Try not to procrastinate  Cut out negative influences  Go to therapy.   Others Sharon Martin, LCSW in California Practice self-compassion  Adopt a growth mindset  Instead of focusing on outcomes, enjoy the process  Be true to yourself rather than trying to please everyone  Be more assertive with your own needs  Love your imperfect self.   Tanya Peterson Choosing Therapy.com Keep track of your thoughts  Practice mindfulness  Focus on your strengths  Stop comparing yourself to others  Find your own meaning and purpose  Rekindle your sense of pleasure and gratitude  Think about your life at age 100  Let yourself experiment.   These are almost all symptom based approaches.  Superficial.  Likely to not get to the root cause.  Sound good.  Hard to accomplish though because of the perfectionism and its roots.   Two major types of approaches  Treat perfectionism as an enemy to be ignored, dismissed, fought against, or overcome.  Byron Brown based on the Diamond Approach 1999 Souls without Shame.   Robert W. Firestone and colleagues in their Voice Therapy approach  Conquer your Inner Critical Voice  Rick Carson in his 1983 book Taming Your Gremlin   By far the approach most serious Catholic favor in dealing with perfectionism and scrupulosity Will power  Suppression  Domination over the undesireable internal experience.  Triumph of the will!  Victory.  Never works.  Not for long.  And when it seems to work, it's unstable, tenuous, shaky.   Revenge of the repressed.   But what if perfectionism and the parts around it have something important to say to you?   Treat perfectionism as an ally to be seen, heard, to be accepted, befriended, understood, and ultimately transformed.   Hal and Sidra Stone based on Voice Dialogue,  1993 Embracing your inner critic: turning self-criticism into a creative asset Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss based on Internal Family Systems therapy 2010 Self-therapy for your inner critic: transforming self-criticism into self-confidence Ann Weiser Cornell based on Inner Relationship Focusing in her 2005 book The Radical Acceptance of Everything Pat Allen also takes this approach in her 1995  book Art Is a Way of Knowing.[14]  These approaches see the inner critic as attempting to help or protect the person—but in a covert, distorted, or maladaptive way. This perspective makes it possible to connect with the critic and transform it over time into a helpful ally.  Earley's approach.    Getting to the root.  Shame IIC 37-49.   Engage with the parts burdened with shame.   Neural Networks -- one neural network Dan Siegel's interpersonal neurobiology.   Lee Health IFS is considered a brain-based psychotherapy designed specifically to access and modify neural networks through intentional interactions via a guided meditative processes.  These brain based interactions are the key to helping create different pathways often referred to as “rewiring” or “remapping”. IEADP Foundation These processes serve to engage the brain stem, limbic system and prefrontal cortex simultaneously in the safe and emotional tolerable setting of the therapist's office. This increase in the individual's ability to stay in the window of tolerance while being present with strong emotional states, body sensations and memories allows the client to engage the “witnessing mind” and increases the response flexibility to the strong emotional states that previously would elicit eating disorder behaviors Experiential Exercise What did you think -- let me know call or text 317.567.9594. Also, if you have found great resources that were helpful for your scrupulosity or perfectionism let me know.   Next episode Episode 86, will come out on November 1, All Saints Day Scrupulosity --  I have such a different take -- Scrupulosity is what happens with perfectionism gets religion.   One more element that we haven't discussed that is so central to scrupulosity, that make scrupulosity much more than a religious spiritual perfectionism.   My own battle with scrupulosity.   Grandpa Roberts:  God helps those who help themselves.   Today we laid a foundation for understanding perfectionism.  Next episode, we get much more into Solutions for scruplosity and perfectionism.   Remember, you as a listener can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Resilient Catholics Community.  84 on the waiting list.  Greater discussion of that in the last episode, episode 84.  We have been working through the Individual Results Sheet for dozens of RCC members -- amazed at how our Initial Measures Kit can provoke all kinds of new thinking about their parts and their internal worlds.  Work with Catholic Standard Bearers, Primary Managers and Inner Critics Catholic therapists or therapists in training -- If you are really interested in Internal Family System and you want to be with me and other Catholic therapists, working on your human formation with your colleagues, The Interior Therapist Community is for you.  We have a couple more spots open in the last Foundations Experiential Group for the fall of 2021, so check out all our offerings at soulsandhearts.com/itc.          

In this episode, I lay out the whole mission and purpose of the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast -- answering the six central questions so that you can make an informed decision about whether this podcast fits you and your needs.  Get the latest in my discernment about this podcast and the Resilient Catholics Community, where we are going.   Lead in:  [cue Sundancer music] Who, What, Where, When, Why and How -- those are the six questions we're addressing today about this podcast.   Why those questions?  It's all about fit.  It's all about being clear about the target audience for this podcast and whether or not you fit.  I'm putting all my cards on the table, total transparency, so that you can make an informed decision about whether you want to engage with me or not.   So let's ask the questions.  Who is this Interior Integration for Catholics podcast for -- yes, it's for Catholics, but it's only for a small number of Catholics, maybe about 3700 Catholics in the world.  How did I get to that number -- stay with me for the calculations later in this episode.   What is this podcast all about -- what is the mission, what is the purpose of the podcast?   Where does this podcast focus?  Spoiler alert:  -- Deep inside you, but you'll have to stay tuned to find out more about that… When:  what is the new frequency and episode length for this podcast? Why:  Why should you listen?  I'm asking you for time, attention, concentration and effort -- why should you engage with this podcast at all?  I'll be fleshing out all the reasons How:  How do we make it all happen with you, for you and in you?   Find out the answer to all of these questions in this episode of Interior Integration for Catholics, number 84, The Who, What, Where, When, Why and How of the IIC Podcast [cue intro music] Intro: Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics, thank you for being here with me, I am honored to be here with you, and today we are discussing you and me and us and this podcast.  We are going to get all relational as we often do here.  Because this is a relational podcast.  I'm not just a talking head in podcastlandia, I'm a real person, you're a real person and I'm into real relationships.   I am clinical psychological Peter Malinoski and you are listening to the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast -- the IIC podcast for short).   Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the English-speaking Catholic world through our website soulsandhearts.com.  Check that out, soulsandhearts.com for so many great resources that bring psychology and Catholicism together in a way that is faithful to the truths of our Faith.   Let's get into answering the questions -- the who, what, where, when, why, and how of this podcast.   Who is the IIC Podcast For?  It's for You.  Ideal listener If you have it all together, if you're sky high on life, if you continually leap from one pinnacle of natural excellence to an even higher summit of human greatness, bounding upward, always with grace and precision and a laser focus on perfection -- good for you. I'm happy for you and in awe of you.   But you don't need this podcast.   Let me put it this way.  This podcast is for the Catholic who admits he or she is hurting, struggling, a lost sheep, in need of help. This podcast is for you who are like me, who are very imperfect, wounded, harmed in various ways, who are confused and frustrated, who are weary, who are lonely, who are burdened in different ways.   It's for your parts. we are a unity but also a multiplicity.  We don't have a single, unified, homogenous, monolithic personality.   We have several or many parts, each one with its own personality.  This concept of parts of us is absolutely central to this podcast.  If this idea of parts does not appeal to you, you probably won't like these episodes.  I believe there were two major discoveries in psychology, one at the end of the 19th Century -- the discovery of the unconscious -- Freud popularized that.  And the other near the end of the 20th century -- the discovery of the multiplicity of self which Richard Schwartz popularized.   Definition of part:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and sense of identity, who you are.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.  You can also think of them as separate modes of operating if that is helpful.   This podcast is especially for your inner outcasts, those parts of us that you reject -- inner lepers, inner tax collectors, inner Pharisees, inner critics, our inner prostitutes, the untouchables within us, our inner rebels, fugitives, inner vagabonds and bums, our inner abused children.  Our refugees, our inner imprisoned convicts the parts that don't get to see the light of day, the parts that may have never been loved by you or any other human being who walks the face of the earth.   As I've discussed in so many previous episodes, especially Episode 71: A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others -- I firmly believe that the concept of a core self and these several or many parts helps us to make so much more sense of our experiences, helps to explain so much.  And as I laid out in Episode 73, Is IFS Really Catholic, I believe that with some modifications, IFS can be harmonized with our Catholic Faith.   St. Augustine, Confessions “My inner self was a house divided against itself.”  That's parts.   Romans 7:15  I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. It's not just about willpower Romans 7:18b  I can will what is right, but I cannot do it.  This isn't about willpower -- Paul had amazing willpower.  It's not about the intellect.  Its about those two discoveries in psychology -- the unconscious and the fact that we have parts.   Openness and receptivity to learning and growing. This podcast is for you, you, the one who deeply desires an intimate, personal relationship with God and with Mary, even if  you struggle with it You who want to be able to come to God our Spiritual Father and Mary our Spiritual Mother with childlike trust and complete confidence Overcoming your natural-level impediments  Anything that compromises our capacity to relate and love in the natural realm will compromise our capacity to relate and love God and Mary.  Period.  Full stop.   Invested in own human formation, and is motivated to grow Psychologically-minded  Embraces the multiplicity/unity aspects of the human person and wants to relate better with self internally.   Willing to tolerate some suffering -- it will cost you to really engage with these podcasts Attention and concentration  Experiential exercises   Wants to love self in a much more ordered way, overcoming shame, overcoming self-absorption Wants to love others in a much more ordered way Orthodox, practicing  Catholics Willing to sacrifice Let's do the numbers There are 70 million Catholics in the US, 13 million in Canada, 5 million in the UK, and 5 million in Australia. Adding in the Catholics of a few other countries, New Zealand and so on, we can round it to about 100 million English speaking Catholics in the entire world.   The Catholic Man Crisis Fact Sheet (pp. 36-41) and the Catholic marketing agency Fuzati both assert that only about 10% of Catholics are committed to their faith and practice it regularly by frequenting the sacraments, praying, and engaging in parish or other community life.  I think that's generous.  Sherry Weddell who does all kinds of work evangelizing in parishes says that 98% of Catholics have no other contact any with Catholic resources other than their parish.  Let's go with one tenth, though, one tenth are committed Catholics.  One tenth of 100 million leaves 10 million English speaking Catholics committed to the Faith and regularly practicing, taking their faith seriously.  Of those, how many really accept that the unconscious exists, and that it has a huge impact on our internal experience, that it affects us in major, unseen ways.  So many Catholics, especially devout Catholics get really uncomfortable with the power of the unconscious.  They don't want to go there.  They want to believe that most of their inner life is in their conscious awareness.  I'm going to estimate that only 30% of the 10 million English Speaking, practicing, serious Catholics are willing to really embrace the unconscious and its implications.  That leaves us with 3 million Catholics worldwide.   Now how many of those 3 million will accept that we have parts, these little personalities within us, how many will accept that we are both a multiplicity and a unity, how many will resonate?  I think about one third of those.  Parts really make many Catholic uncomfortable -- are you saying, Dr. Peter, that I'm like Sybil, with multiple personalities.  Yes I am.  That's exactly what I am saying.  I'm saying we're all like that, not so disconnected and dissociated as those who have been diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder, now called Dissociative Identity Disorder, but that multiplicity is within us, we have parts within us.  So one third of 3 million leaves us with 1 million Catholics who might resonate with this podcast.   How many listen to podcasts at least on a monthly basis?  37% of US residents, according to podcasthosting.org's compilation of statistics.    We're down to 370,000.   How many are really committed to human formation?  That are not just looking at the spiritual life, but also at their natural human formation?  Those who really consider the natural realm.  It's not that many.  I figure maybe 10% of those Catholics, and again, that's being generous.  We're down to 37,000.  And how many of those 3700 will find this podcast -- that depends on you, how you spread the word. But let's say that over time, we get to 10%.  We're down to 3,700 potential listeners.  3700 potential listeners.  This is a niche podcast.   We are really a very small percentage of the Catholic population from 100 million to 3,700. We are getting about 4,000 downloads per month.  That's not that many, really.  And our most popular episode had just over 700 downloads total, all-time.   And a download doesn't mean a person actually listened to the podcast.  And some people download the same episode over and over again -- they listen multiple times.   For the last ten episodes that have been up for more than thirty days, we averaged 469 downloads each.  That's not that many!  Transistor.fm, my podcast host, estimates that we have 201 Subscribers, those who listen to each new episode within 24 hours of its release on platforms like Apple Podcast or Spotify.   So we are a niche market.  I'm looking for 3700 out of 100 million English speaking Catholics.  That's .0037 of one percent, or one in 27,000 Catholics.  That's how special you are.  Now maybe I'm underestimating the numbers here. I  hope I am.  You can let me know if you think I'm off base.   Just five days ago, I got this email from a listener and her words capture what I am looking for in those 3700 potential listeners. Here is what she said: First, I just want to share with you that your podcasts (and those of Dr Greg Bottaro) have been earth shattering for me, it's been an absolute revelation in the last 3 months and I can't thank you enough for delving into this 'crying need' to understand ourselves, the mysterious struggle to battle our interior world, and where God (or our image of Him) gets caught in the crossfire.  I realized while listening to several podcasts, they answer nearly everything I experienced for years without even realizing they have names...Until listening to the podcast I was never really open to psychology - I relied and trusted more on a well developed will power to always pull through. It's rather painful to think I could have saved myself a lot of needless angst had I learned about this earlier. I'm very knowledgeable about the Faith and I frequently help others in their own faith but my own issues are hard to combat...the podcast brought all this to the next level.  That is what I want for my listeners.  Real impact, the kind of impact that helps you change your lives.  That's what I am looking for, for you.   So those the qualities of my intended audience -- the who of the six questions This is for you who are a Faithful, orthodox, practicing Catholic -- you who are hurting, struggling, a lost sheep, in need of help.  And you who are invested in your own human formation, willing to accept the unconscious, willing to embrace your inner outcasts, all the parts of you that have been rejected by others, those who may never have been loved by you or your family or any other human being around you.   Openness and receptivity to learning and growing With a willingness to make sacrifices of time, attention, effort.   You who deeply desires an intimate, personal relationship with God and with Mary, even if  you struggle with it. You who want to overcome your natural-level impediments to approaching God our Spiritual Father and Mary our Spiritual Mother with childlike trust and complete confidence Anything that compromises our capacity to relate and love in the natural realm will compromise our capacity to relate and love God and Mary.  Period.  Full stop.   Wants to love self in a much more ordered way, overcoming shame, overcoming self-absorption Wants to love others in a much more ordered way Outer rings -- those who drop in, those who pass by and stay an hour or two with the podcast -- you are welcome. Seekers -- those who want information on a particular topic for themselves or for a loved one -- bipolar disorder, scrupulosity, shame, sexuality, trauma  Take what is helpful to you.   Me -- So we've talked about you, now let's talk about me, just briefly In this podcast, I will never ask you to do something I won't do myself.   I work on myself.  A lot.  Both in the natural realm and in the spiritual realm.  I check in with my parts five to seven times per day.   I have a human formation plan of life I have a spiritual plan of life and a spiritual director Charisms -- exploring these through the Catherine of Siena Institute -- online program Called and Gifted, siena.org, Sherry Wedell founded it decades ago -- impressed with her work.  Jenna Reimersma -- group work IFS grounded in Christianity.   Why am I telling you all this?   Nemo dat quod non habet  You can't give what you don't have.  I can't give you what I don't have.    Lots of discernment going on.  How to guide the podcast, how to guide Souls and Hearts.  I invest in that process of discernment for you.  For you.   Us together Conversation Hours -- every Tuesday and Thursday from 4:30 to 5:30 PM Eastern time.  317.567.9594.  I've taken lots of calls from my committed listeners.  Why?  Because I want to be with you, to be together with you in a deep way.  I want us to actually have a relationship.  I want to know what is going on in your lives.  That connection only makes this podcast better and more relevant to you.   Let's talk about me meeting you where you are at: Will I do that?  Depends on where you are at.  That brings us back to the target audience.  Those are the ones I am called to reach out to.  I'll meet them where there are at with this podcast.  Those for whom there really are not that many resources.   More than that, though I'll meet you where you are at, but I will call you to a higher level of human formation.  Anne Lamott in Traveling Mercies:  The secret it that God loves us exactly the way we are…and that he loves us too much to let us stay like this.   John the Baptist -- went out to the desert, inhospitable places -- the people came to him.   Jesus in John 6:  Discourse on the bread of life -- so many people left John 6:60  Many of his disciples, when they heard it, said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?”   John 6:66 After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him. He didn't chase them.  He didn't water anything down.  He let them make a choice.   Jesus with the Rich Young Man -- not meeting him where he was at -- calling him to a higher plane, to being one of the original disciples.  Matthew 19:20-22 The young man said to him, “All these I have observed; what do I still lack?” 21 Jesus said to him, “If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” 22 When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions. Jesus backpedal, did he reel it in, did he soften his position, did he run ahead of the rich young man and try to smooth out the hard road for him.  No he did not.  He addressed his disciples instead.  Let's pick up the narrative in verse 23.   23 And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”  Ripple effect to others.   Now we are going to address the question of What  What is the IIC Podcast all about"  Your need for human formation grounded in a Catholic Anthropology without Apology Not giving up any of the Truths of the Catholic Faith, not surrendering on the smallest point of dogma or dogma, even when it's uncomfortable   Utilizing the best of what modern psychology has to offer Theory  Research  Clinical Experience  Drawing from all of that.   Topics/Themes  All centers around love.  That's the point  Receiving love From yourself  From others  From God, especially God as your primary Father, your Spiritual Father, to heal father wounds  From Mary, especially Mary as your primary Mother, your Spiritual Mother, to heal mother wounds.    Books My Ideal: Jesus Son of Mary, Fr. Emile Neubert  Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence by Fr. Jean Baptist Saint Jure and Saint Claude de la Columbiere   Our spiritual parents are more our parents than our earthly parents, our natural parents God knew that whatever deficits your parents had, whatever wounds they inflicted He had a plan to make up for that  Only allowed the bad things to happen in order to draw greater good from them  Listeners' testimonies -- would not trade their histories now.   Healing can happen on the natural realm, not just the spiritual realm Model of the Human person Multiplicity and Unity  Parts  Loving oneself.   where we take on the toughest topics, the most difficult and raw themes that many people want to avoid. Fulton J. Sheen  “The refusal to take sides on great moral issues is itself a decision. It is a silent acquiescence to evil. The Tragedy of our time is that those who still believe in honesty lack fire and conviction, while those who believe in dishonesty are full of passionate conviction.” Means we use Didactic portion -- a Lecture if you will.   Draws from Secular Sources   Catholic Sources Scripture  Catechism  Lives of Saints   More than two decades of my clinical experience as a Catholic psychologist -- integrating   Story -- dramatization   Literature Quotes  Poetry   Experiential Exercises   What is the goal?   Our Niche:  Solidifying and strengthening our human formation so it can serve as a foundation for a deep, intimate, relational intimacy with God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and Mary our Mother  Spiritual Parents God our Spiritual Father  Mary our Spiritual Mother   Gaping hole of human formation -- human formation as the natural foundation for the spiritual life St. Thomas Aquinas -- Grace perfects nature.   Human formation just starting to be addressed in seminaries -- human formation emphasized there -- see IIC 63:  Human formation: the critical missing element.   A whole section is devoted to human formation in the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops document entitled "Program of Priestly Formation, Fifth Edition" which came out in 2006.  pages 29-42 Longest and most complete discussion of human formation I could find in an official church document  14 pages -- but no definition of human formation.   What this podcast is not about Not about priests, bishops, popes, spouses, friends, politicians, Catholic celebrities, not about anyone other than you and your internal world and your relationship with yourself, with God and with Mary your spiritual mother  Not about world peace -- it's about inner peace  It's not about current events -- it's about the events in your inner life, your interior life.   It's not about righting wrongs in our families and our neighborhoods, our parishes, our nation, our world -- it's about right wrongs within us.  That's our starting point, that's what gets neglected in our world.   It's not about social justice -- it's about inner justice, about you being just to you, in all your parts.   It's not about mercy to others -- it's about mercy to your own abandoned, needy, condemned, rejected parts.   It's not about evangelizing others -- it's about evangelizing yourself.   It's not about focusing on the problems of any other human being -- it's about you examining you and you connecting with you -- it's about knowing yourself, as Socrates commanded It's about removing the beam from your own eye as your Lord commanded, so you can see more clearly   This is not about being hip and fashionable in the Catholic world.  I'm not some sort of Catholic star or celebrity or social media influencer.  None of these podcast episodes are ever going to go viral on social media.  I'm not good at being hip or fashionable or one of the cool, popular Catholic media kids on the block.  Trying to be like that would make me look like I was trying to dance the Macarena while intoxicated at your cousin's wedding, and that is not a pretty picture.   We're maintaining the focus on you, especially on the hidden parts of you, where most people do not want to go.  There's a reason why we hide parts of ourselves from ourselves.  We want to bring the light. This is not selfishness.  This is not some kind of self-absorbed navel gazing in a psychological day spa where you have cucumber slices over your eyes and white cream on your face and I tell you how wonderful you are and lament with you about how terribly others treated you.  Engaging with this podcast is more like a boot camp that demands humility and courage and boldness and perseverance that the vast majority of people are not going to demonstrate.  If you really go inside you're going to find things you really don't like.  Things that scare you, things that disgust you, things that could upset you.   Freud 1933 the id is a chaos, a cauldron of seething excitement Bessel van der Kolk “As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”   The Body Keeps the Score Emily Dickenson  One need not be a Chamber — to be Haunted —One need not be a House —The Brain has Corridors — surpassingMaterial Place — Far safer, of a Midnight MeetingExternal GhostThan its interior Confronting —That Cooler Host. Far safer, through an Abbey gallop,The Stones a'chase —Than Unarmed, one's a'self encounter —In lonesome Place — Ourself behind ourself, concealed —Should startle most —Assassin hid in our ApartmentBe Horror's least. The Body — borrows a Revolver —He bolts the Door —O'erlooking a superior spectre —Or More —   This is a hard road people -- really getting to know yourselves. St. Augustine said: “Humility is a virtue by which a man has a low opinion of himself because he knows himself well.”   And there's nothing so distracting as looking at other people -- attributing our difficulties to other people, pointing the finger at other people.   The London Times once sent out an inquiry to famous authors, asking the question, “What's wrong with the world today?” and Chesterton responded simply, “Dear Sir,  I am. Yours, G.K. Chesterton.”  St Augustine  “This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.”  Where -- let's tackle the where of this podcast Where is this podcast?   Simple asnwer -- it's on all the major podcast players-- Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, Amazon Podcast, all of them.   It's also on our website:  Soulsandhearts.com/iic.   The more important question -- where in you does this podcast intend to reach?  Where will we work together?   We work in your heart.  Not just head knowledge -- not just intellectual material.  But in your heart.   Luke 10:27 Jesus answered “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” Start with the heart -- in the body, in the natural realm.  Not with the soul.  With the heart.  With the seat of emotions, with the seat of relational experience.  Before the soul, even.  The heart.  Leading with the heart.  And Our Lord insists on the whole of us --all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, all your mind -- all of us.  All of our parts.  we start in your heart but we also will work with your mind and your soul and your body Feeding your mind with groundbreaking new conceptual material -- integrating IFS concepts with a Catholic worldview.   Another where question -- Where does the podcast fit in the broader Church -- where is our corner of the vineyard? I'm going to sum it up with this term -- Inner pre-evangelization.  This podcast's corner of the vineyard is human formation, specifically Inner pre-evangelization.  What do I mean by that?   Let's start with a Definition of Pre-evangelization from Fr. John Hardon's Catholic Dictionary:  Preparation of a person or people to receive the Gospel. The need for such preparation in the modern world arises from the massive neglect of God and things spiritual. "In the past," the Second Vatican Council explains, "it was the exception to repudiate God and religion to the point of abandoning them, and then only in individual cases; but nowadays it seems a matter of course to reject them as incompatible with scientific progress and a new kind of humanism" (Gaudium et Spes, 8). Through the media of social communication, this spirit of unbelief has permeated whole segments of society. Hence the need for predisposing people even to listen to the Gospel, especially in the once Christian affluent cultures of Euro-America.  USCCB National Directory on Catechesis reads as follows:  Pre-evangelization ordinarily builds on basic human needs, such as security, love, or acceptance, and shows how those basic human needs include a desire for God and his word.  Sherry Widdell:  Fruitful Discipleship, p. 63.  Direct pre-evangelization of individuals includes praying for others, building genuine friendships, fostering personal and spiritual trust, hospitality, the witness of your life and vocation, having threshold and spiritual conversations with individuals, asking thought-provoking questions to stimulate spiritual curiosity, and sharing the story what you've seen God do in your own life. So pre-evangelization is all about preparing a person or a community to be able to receive the Gospel. I argue that we need to pre-evangelize ourselves.  Even those of us faithful, practicing Catholics -- we need to go inside and work with our parts.   We don't want shifting natural foundations -- leads to rickety spiritual edifices that are likely to fall down.   I make the case that we have many parts who are separated, who are isolated, who have terrible, toxic God images, who may be terrified of God, raging at God, disappointed in God.  I make the case that we can't just bring God to them without some preliminary work on the natural realm.  This is what I am calling inner pre-evangelization.   Definition time with Dr. Peter.  Inner pre-evangelization is preparing your parts on the natural, human level through your love for them through bringing them into relationship with your core self so that they can better tolerate being loved by God and Mary and heal.  Then, in a much more integrated way, you can love God, Mary, your neighbor and yourself in a much more intimate, deep, full, and complete way.   I know from clinical experience that a client's exiled part often needs to experience the love from the client's core self before that part can be open to the love of God or love from others.   Love your neighbor as yourself.  Luke 10:27.  We need to love ourselves.  We need to love our parts.  As part of that love, we help our parts with human formation.   So where is our corner of the vineyard -- in your heart.  In your human heart, in the natural recesses, the hidden pockets of your heart.   When -- let's ask when.  Monthly Episodes, 60-90 minutes, they come out the first Monday of the Month.   Reducing frequency -- each episode takes 12-15 hours to produce.  That's a lot of time.  But there's another reason, and I'll address it at the end.   Why?  So you and I can walk this pilgrimage through this life to heaven   Life and Death seriousness about this.  Eternal consequences to how we address these human formation issues.   I want you to have Peace, joy, wellbeing. I want you to fulfill your destiny, accepting your identity as a beloved child of God and Mary, a cherished son or daughter of the Most High God and our Lady.   Finding freedom in that identity as a beloved child Responding in love. How Fulton Sheen 1978:  There is a third approach to an electronic audience which will be in the future. It will not always be the direct, nor even the indirect which I used. It is what might be called the ant biological. I do not use this word in the sense of the science of man's beginning. I merely mean it as the roots of the word imply – a study of man. The presentation of religion had been principally from God to man, but now it will be from man to God. It will not start with the order in the universe alluding to the existence of a Creator of the cosmos; it will start with the disorder inside of man himself. It will take all the findings of our psychological age and use them as a springboard for the presentation of Divine Truths.   I often wish that I were younger so that I might use this third approach which I have mentioned namely, starting with the unhappiness inside of the human heart. The audience is always there, the opportunities are ever present. There is need to take hold of tortured souls like Peter, agnostics like Thomas and mystics like John and lead them to tears, to their knees or to resting on His Sacred Heart.  How?  By working with your heart -- the unhappiness within your heart, the restlessness within your heart, the pain, the wounds, the trauma, the burdens that your parts carry.   The Resilient Catholics Community Not long after I started this podcast I started getting dozens of requests every month from listeners asking if I would be their individual therapist.  I've turned away hundreds of people, I don't have the bandwidth to take on so many.   But it led to the question -- How can I help?  How can I go beyond the podcast.  How can I do more?  There's a need here, there has got to be more than the one-way communication of the podcast.  More than just the occasional phone calls and emails.   And not all at once, not suddenly, but gradually it came to me.  We needed a community.  I had a deep sense that I was called to pull some of these 3700 potential listeners together and offer you something that went much deeper, much further, and something that brought us all together.  A community.  And so, last year, the Resilient Catholics Community came into being Who  Who is the Resilient Catholics Community for? It's for the minority of our potential 3700 adult listeners who really love this podcast who get this podcast.  This Podcast is a funnel  Who are so invested in their human formation that they are willing to spend time, money, effort on it  Who want to be with other like-minded Catholics on the journey  Who burn with a desire for a deep, intimate relationship with God and with Mary, a real human, personal connection  And who recognize they have some natural-level impediments to that deep relating  and  who are willing to make sacrifices in time, effort, money, humility and courage to grow in human formation and overcome natural-level impediments to being loved and to loving  Who want to become saints.   Who are willing to be pioneers at the cutting edge in this adventure of human formation.  Really at the tip of the spear, the first explorers of this human formation ground for laymen and laywomen.   Who am I in the RCC  First of all the RCC is My Tribe, my people, bringing together two groups into one First, faithful, orthodox, serious Catholics who are wounded and suffering and know it  And Second, who are psychologically minded (or at least want to be psychologically minded), who believe in the unconscious and who embrace the unity and multiplicity of the human person  And who want to see through the lens of a core self and parts.   I don't want to do this alone.   I've spent a lot of time in these last 84 episode, letting you get to know me, what I think and feel, and who I am as a person. Especially in episode 71 A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others -- I described to you all my parts, all those that I know!   I stay in the natural realm -- preparing the way.  John the Baptist.  Arithmetic before algebra.   Not a spiritual director Not a priest I don't claim to understand how grace is moving in your soul   I don't see myself as a leader, as a shepherd.  I see myself more like an Old English Sheepdog Loud distinctive bark   Independent and Strong willed -- so I need your prayers to be small and humble and childlike and responsive to the touches of our Lord and our Lady.   Adaptable and intelligent, like to learn new things Faithful Good family dog Physically pretty big -- like me.   Sociable Protective Love having fun -- clowns, sense of humor.   What of the RCC The Initial Measures Kit -- which generates the Individual Results Sheet and the Personalized Human Formation Plan -- we've done several of these now, and our members are amazed at the results, how accurately we are in helping them identify their parts and how their parts relate to each other, and the why behind their parts' desires and impulses.   Weekly premium podcast, just for RCC community members -- Inner Connections will be starting soon  A complete course for working on your human formation   Daily check ins with your companion -- accountability and structure Weekly company meetings Office hours with me Conversation hours with me Special resources -- for example in my email communication with Derek Scott, he provided me with a trove of his extra resources on grief in a password protected section of his website that he said RCC members could have access to.  That is so cool.   All this for $99 per month.  And we make it financially possible for anyone who is a good fit for the RCC to join through write-offs and scholarships.  The fees are not the tail that wags the dog.   And there also is opportunities for some parts-based individual coaching as well.   Essentially, the What of the RCC is a pilgrimage together.   The When of the ITC   We will reopen in December for a limited number of new members.  It might 100 new members, we don't want to take on more than we can really be with and effectively work with.   Sign upon the waiting list now -- we already have 58 on the waiting list, go to soulsandhearts.com/rcc and register for the waiting list.  Later this week, I will be sending out the first email with extra resources to waiting list members, to give you a sample of some of the resources in the RCC.    Soulsandhearts.com/rcc to register.   The main reason I am reducing frequency of this podcast from weekly to monthly is so that I can spend more time with the RCC members.  It's that simple.  You RCC members are my people.  I have a very strong call to really invest in my connection with you, in my relationships with you.  I want to be with you on your journey of human formation, on your journey of inner pre-evangelization of your parts.  I want to be with you in this part of your work in the natural realm.   The podcast has already met some of its objectives Evergreen content  Giving you a huge sample of my content, my style and who I am to help you discern if you want to take the next step, which is joining the RCC   The Why of the RCC --  It's all about loving with your whole heart -- all of your being.  Getting over all the natural level issues that hold you back.   So sign up for the waiting list.  We'll go through our list from the earliest to the latest joining members, so your ranking matters if we have to limit enrollment.  Soulsandhearts.com/rcc.  Remember, you as a listener can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  I want to mention another community for any of you listeners who are Catholic therapists or therapists in training -- If you are really interested in Internal Family System and you want to be with me and other Catholic therapists, working on your human formation with your colleagues, The Interior Therapist Community is for you.  We are finalizing new groups for the fall, so check out all our offerings at soulsandhearts.com/itc.  So tune in next month, on Monday, October 4, 2021 when we will begin our series on perfectionism and scrupulosity.  Several of you have asked me to address those topics, so I will.     Gerry Crete, the cofounder and CEO of Souls and Hearts has a special message for you Catholic men about his community, Catholic Journeymen.  Let's hear from Dr.Gerry:   Invocations of our Lady and St. John the Baptist.   Credit for the Lead in music which is titled Misty Meadow  by George Sundancer at Pixabay.   

Through dramatic reenactments, experiential exercises and the best of available resources, Dr. Peter brings you critical information to help you better love those near you who are struggling with suicidal thoughts and impulses.  Learn how to be a much better first responder in these situations and to be a bridge to additional resources for your loved ones who are considering suicide.    Lead-in:  Imagine a young man, a teenager you care about, one you really love, a family member or friend, or the son of a friend, comes to you, in distress, and he shares this with you -- listen closely as he tells you what's on his heart. [insert script]. So now you have this upset, desperate man in front of you, who wants to be dead.   What do you do?  How do you handle this situation?   But before we go there, let's start with you.  We created a scenario to evoke what might come up in real life when your encounter a loved one who is suicidal.   What do you notice going on inside you right now?  What is happening in your body? Emotions? Assumptions or beliefs about yourself? Memories, desires, impulses.   Replay the last clip What are parts of you saying to you about you right now? Really pay attention to those messages I will make a bold claim here -- the number one thing you struggle with in being a first responder to a loved one with suicidal levels distress is [drum roll]  your own internal experience.    The problem you have is not so much inside the distressed loved one.  The problem you have is inside of you, deep within you.  You get wrapped up in our own fear, shame, guilt, anger, or your own sense of inadequacy.   Did you feel any of that that in this example, confronted with this teenager in such distress, who feels so strongly the desire to die? Did you feel uncomfortable, on edge, uncertain?  Anxious?  Ineffective, inadequate?  Responsible, but not knowing what to do?  Did you experience any self-criticism?  Any of those experiences?  If so, you've come to the right place.  I can help with that.  [Insert Intro]   Intro: Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics, I like being together with you in this whole adventure, as we learn about suicide and what to do about it, all grounded in a Catholic worldview. I am Dr. Peter Malinoski,, passionate Catholic first and clinical psychologist as well, and you are listening to the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast.  Thank you for being here with me.  Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com   This is the fifth in our series on Suicide. In episode 76, we got into what the secular experts have to say about suicide.  In episode 77, we reviewed the suicides in Sacred Scripture, in the Bible.   In episode 78, we sought to really understand the phenomenological worlds of those who kill themselves -- what happens inside?  How can we understand suicidal behaviors more clearly, dispelling myths and gripping on to the sense of desperation and the need for relief that drives so much suicidal behavior.  And in the last episode, number 79, we took a deep dive into the devastating impact of suicide on the parents, spouses, children, siblings, and friends who were left behind.   Today's episode, number 80 is entitled "How to Help a Loved One Who is Suicidal."  We are getting into the nitty-gritty of what do you do when someone you are close to is suicidal?  In short, how do you love someone who is so distressed, so desperate, that they are seriously considering killing themselves? First a brief caveat -- I can't, in a single podcast episode, train you to be a crisis intervention specialist.  That takes dedicated training.  But you know what?  Most people with these suicidal levels of distress don't seek out crisis intervention specialists or therapists or counselors first.  They go to the people they know.  They go to the people whom they hope and believe will love them.  They go to you.  What you'll learn today is for your own information, to help you understand what's going on and how best to act as a first responder and a bridge to long-lasting help that can heal.   Love your neighbor as yourself.  Diliges proximum tuum tamquam teipsum. Inflection of dīligō (second-person singular future active indicative)  The second great commandment.  Love your neighbor as yourself. Diliges proximum  tuum.  Love is a verb, an action.  So what if our neighbor is the teenager from our lead in today?  How do we love a suicidal person?  How do we love her? Definition of Love -- Charity -- caritas.    Benevolence -- bonae voluntatis in Latin, good will.   Capacity  Understanding the other Operating in the mode of the receiver  Dependent on us understanding ourselves  Mistaking what is coming from who  Unconsciousx   Capacity to choose the good -- Freedom.  Well-governed self Regulated  Organized  Calm. Compassionate  Good human formation   Possessing virtues  Possessing the knowledge and expertise in a situation.   Constancy.   Need peace and interior integration' Being vs. doing. CCC 1829 The fruits of charity are joy, peace, and mercy.   Loving all their parts  Definition of parts Suicidal distress makes so much more sense if we understand each person not as a uniform, monolithic, homogenous, single personality, but rather as a dynamic system including a core self and parts.  That helps to explain so much, including shifts over time.   Definition of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.  You can also think of them as separate modes of operating if that is helpful.  Not just transient mood states, but whole constellations of all these aspects. Unintegrated parts are not focused on loving others Unintegrated parts can be exiled Parts often have very different attitudes toward suicide.   Blending What is the key word here?  Blending.   Definition of a Blend:   Richard Schwartz and Martha Sweezy Internal Family Systems Therapy, 2nd Ed. --   The act in which a part takes over a person's seat of consciousness, or self.   "Blending in IFS" March 7, 2010 Blog post:  Modes of Blending in IFS In IFS a part is “blended” with someone when they ARE the part as opposed to being in Self. This could mean that they feel the part's emotions, they hold its beliefs, or their behavior in the world comes from this part. Jay Earley October 17, 2018 Blog post:  A part is blended with you and has taken over your seat of consciousness when any of the following is true: Flooded with the parts emotions  Caught up in the beliefs of the part  Dominated by the perspective and worldview of the part.  Blended part is now driving the bus with the self and all the other parts aboard Part that takes over your internal raft  Example of Pixar moving "Inside Out" when Anger takes over the control panel  Taken over by the passions -- e.g. irascible passions, such as fear or anger. everything seen through the very limited perspective of the blended part.    Starting with what to notice.  Excellent sources Columbia University Departs of Psychiatry  American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org)  National Institute of Mental Health nimh.nih.gov  Suicide Prevention Resource Center sprc.org  Suicide Prevention Lifeline suicidepreventionlifeline.org  Helpguide at helpguide.org   Risk Factors, Signs:  The behaviors listed below may be signs that someone is thinking about suicide (NIMH):  Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves “I wish I hadn't been born,”  “If I see you again…”  “I'd be better off dead.”   Preoccupation with death -- focus on death, dying, violence.   Talking about feeling empty, hopeless, or having no reason to live Depression  Helplessness    Making a plan or looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching for lethal methods online, stockpiling pills, or buying a gun Researching ways to kill oneself on the Internet   Talking about great guilt or shame  Rejecting compliments   Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions Nothing is ever going to get better.   Feeling unbearable pain (emotional pain or physical pain)  Loss of a sense of purpose or meaning in life  Talking about being a burden to others  Apathy -- not caring about things he used to be passionate about.  Feeling numb, detached Not caring about the future  Self-neglect -- lack of self-care -- neglect of personal appearance, hygiene  Using alcohol or drugs more often  Acting anxious or agitated -- panicky  Withdrawing from family and friends  Changing eating and/or sleeping habits  Showing rage, lots of anger, irritability, feeling upset more than usual -- or talking about seeking revenge  Taking great risks that could lead to death, such as driving extremely fast -- impulsive or reckless behavior  Talking or thinking about death often  Displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy  Previous suicide attempts  Giving away important possessions  Saying goodbye to friends and family  Being exposed to others who have taken their own lives, family, friends, acquaintances.   Putting affairs in order, making a will   Signs I will add Changes in attitudes toward God  Changes in religious practices, e.g. no longer praying, no longer going to Mass   What to do when someone is at risk of suicide  from these six sources Take time.  Calm down.  Prayer Monitor how you are doing.   Assume you are the only one he has told   Have an honest conversation Talk to them in private  Be yourself.  Understand that the person may be dominated by one or more parts right now, and those parts may seem like they are telling the whole story, but there are often other parts with different beliefs and desires about living and dying.     Be with them.  Finding the right words is not as important as your presence, your "being with."   Avoid judgment.  Take a breath if they are really agitated, like the teenager in the introduction.   Tell them you care about them “I have been feeling concerned about you lately.”  “Recently, I've noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.”  “I wanted to check in with you because you haven't seemed yourself lately.”   You can use parts language Maybe a part of you is really desperate right now.   Listen to their story, take their concerns seriously -- talking about suicide reduces the likelihood of enacting it. When did you begin feeling like this?”  “Did something happen to make you start feeling this way?”  “How can I best support you right now?”  “Have you thought about getting help?”   Let them know they have been heard.  Mirror back to them what you are hearing, invite them to help you understand more deeply.   Ask directly if they are considering suicide:  "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" Does not increase the risk 2012 Study by Charles Mathias and colleagues in Suicide and Life Threatening Behaviors  Change in suicidal ideation was tested using several analytic techniques, each of which pointed to a significant decline in suicidal ideation in the context of repeated assessment.  Helpful things to say You are not alone in this. I'm here for you.”  “You may not believe it now, but the way you're feeling will change.”  “I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.”  “When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage.”   Encourage them to seek treatment or contact their doctor or therapist Work with the person to keep him away from lethal means as the situation permits.   Firearms  Drugs Stay with the person.  This can be hard.  Parts that want to get away.   Suffering is temporary Call the hotlines 24/7  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255  (TALK) First, you'll hear a message telling you that you've reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.  We'll play you a little hold music while we connect you.  A skilled, trained crisis worker who works at the Lifeline network crisis center closest to you will answer the phone.  This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and share any resources that may be helpful.  Remember, your call is confidential and free.   Should I Call The Lifeline? No matter what problems you're dealing with, whether or not you're thinking about suicide, if you need someone to lean on for emotional support, call the Lifeline.  People call to talk about lots of things: substance abuse, economic worries, relationships, sexual identity, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and loneliness, to name a few.   Texting option:  Text HELLO to 741741   Escort him to mental health services or an ER Stay connected Avoid: Argue with the person  Discuss how suicide is wrong  Debate the value of his or her life  Act shocked  Minimize their problems  Give advice or offer ways to fix the problems.   Promise confidentiality or be sworn to secrecy.  You may need help   Assessing the immediacy or the urgency Do you have a plan? (PLAN)  Do you have what you need to me carry out the plan (firearms, pills, etc.) (MEANS)  Do you know when you would do it (TIME SET)  Do you intend to take your own life (INTENT)   Levels of risk Low – Some suicidal thoughts. No suicide plan. The person says they won't attempt suicide.  Moderate – Suicidal thoughts. Vague plan that isn't very lethal. Says they won't attempt suicide.  High – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. Says they won't attempt suicide.  Severe – Suicidal thoughts. Specific plan that is highly lethal. The person says they will attempt suicide.   Practice sessions -- two more voice actors -- we had a voice actor at the lead-in -- she was imitating a highly distressed teenager.  Now we have two teenage voice actors playing out a scenario.   Upper Room Crisis Hotline is a faith-based hotline in the Catholic Tradition. We are a non-judgmental listening and referral hotline to clergy, religious and laity in spiritual need 24/7.  We bring comfort to those facing spiritual need. Discovered it while researching this series on Suicide.  I called them up -- wanted to find out more  Spoke with Dr. Terry Smith Executive Directory and Sr. Mary Frances Seely. Who has more than 50 years of experience in creating, maintaining and growing crisis hotlines, and she is now writing the definitive history of crisis hotlines in the United States.   Started 2004 priests, brothers, deacons -- dealing with the difficulties of the sex abuse crisis -- grew and grew 500 calls per month  Cals from 32 different countries  Not only Catholics, but also Protestants, Jews, Muslims, Agnostics, and Atheists, too.   Major operation 45-50 phone counselors -- Trained by addiction specialists, psychologists, social workers, mental health.  Eight week training session, four hours per week.  Substantial.   Next training runs from September 2 to October 21, 2021, on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11 AM to 1:00 PM Eastern Time -- all Zoom meetings -- Contact Dr. Terry Smith at catholichotline@gmail.com Often are retired mental health professionals  Staffed by volunteers  Funded by donations -- worth cause, I will be donating to this group  Brings in the Catholic spirituality -- really important for someone of faith.     I asked Dr. Smith hard questions -- how equipped are your volunteers to handle imminent suicide crisis -- gun-to-the-head type scenarios Confident in his team -- trained in imminent situations   I asked if there was an imminent situation would a person be better served calling the National Suicide Lifeline or the Upper Room Crisis hotline Element of Faith -- we have the virtue of hope and can address that specific aspect, which is so important.   I was impressed with the answers and feel very comfortable passing on their contact information as Catholic resources.  Had considered setting up a crisis hotline within Souls and Hearts, but now I don't have to -- I don't have to reinvent the wheel.   Contact information 1-888-808-8724  Catholichotline.org   Takeaways Caritas or Agape or Charity -- love consists of Benevolence, Capacity, and Constancy   Our struggles to love others have more to do with our internal worlds than with the other person Monitor yourself and care for yourself while working with another person   Suicidal loved ones are often dominated by a suicidal part that blends with their core self and takes over, driving the bus  You can be a first responder and a bridge to other resources.   If you are having suicidal thoughts or know of someone who is, contact  the Upper Room Crisis Hotline at 1-888-808-8724  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance   If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.  Action Items I want to hear from you Conversation hours T, R 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM  317.567.9594    Pray for me and for the other listeners   Catholic Mental Health professionals -- Many of the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast listeners are Catholic clinicians -- so  all you counselors and therapists, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, marriage and family therapists -- and also, all you graduate students in mental health fields, stay tune in after the invocation -- special invitation for you, special opportunity for you to work with me  ITC discussion  Are you seeking: Greater insight into yourself as a clinician and better self-care?  Better human formation on the natural level as both a person and a therapist?  Deep, personal connections with a small group of other Catholic therapists who understand the unique demands of our lives?  New therapeutic skills to help your clients help themselves, especially those with complex trauma?  Do you want this all in a Catholic community of therapists committed to grounding Internal Family System-informed therapy in a Catholic worldview?  And would you like to work with me, your dear Dr. Peter, as your consultant and guide?   Here is an answer for you.  The Interior Therapist Community within Souls and Hearts.  In September, psychologist Peter Martin and I are opening up four new IFS-informed Foundations Experiential Groups for Catholic therapists and graduate students in mental health fields.  No previous IFS training is necessary to participate.   Go to soulsandhearts.com/itc and check out our landing page.  Soulsandhearts.com/itc. There's a registration link there with lots more information.  I will also be hosting an Informational Zoom meeting on Friday, August 13 at 7:00 PM Eastern time -- register for that and have your questions answered. You're also welcome to get in touch with me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com or on my cell at 317.567.9594 to find out how we can work together!  

Dr. Peter brings you inside the inner world of so many parents, spouses, children, and siblings of those who died by suicide.  Through an imagination exercise, research, quotes from family members, and the Internal Family Systems model of the person, he invites you to a deeper understanding of other others experience a loved one's suicide.   Lead-in The world is full of ‘friends' of suicide victims thinking ‘if I had only made that drive over there, I could have done something.' —Darnell Lamont Walker  an artist; a writer, photographer, painter, and filmmaker.  Ok, so we're continuing to discuss suicide here, we're taking on the tough topics  And I want to start with a caution -- if you have lost a loved one to suicide, this episode may be really healing but it also may be really difficult.  If you are raw and struggling with a death, be really thoughtful about when and how you listen to this.  Pay attention to your window of tolerance and if it's too much right now, know that I respect that and I invite you to approach this topic in a way that is right for you, with help from a counselor, a spiritual director, a trusted friend, somebody you know.   Also, this imagination exercise will be hard to really get into if you're driving or engaged in other activities.  You can try it, but it's going to be really emotionally evocative for many people.  I suggest that you create a good space to engage with  Imagine looking through your front window and seeing a police cruiser pull up.   One uniformed police officer gets out and a woman in plainclothes and they slowly walk to your door.  They ring the doorbell.  You open the door.  The officer removes his hat and tucks it under his arm.  The man seems nervous and clears his throat.  The woman introduces herself and tells you she is the victims' assistance coordinator or something like that for your county.  She asks your name.  You give it.  She asks if they can come inside and talk with you.  "We have very difficult news for you," she says with sympathy in her brown eyes.  Your heart stops beating.  The officer looks away, he looks like he'd be anywhere else, rather than here with you.  You let them in, now only vaguely aware of your surroundings, the shape your living room is in right now.   From the couch, in a gentle, matter-of-fact and very calm manner , the victim service coordinator tells you that the one you so love, you so cherish in the world is dead.  She names the name.  Yes, it's verified.  Yes, there is no mistake.  How, how did this happen you ask.  The officer explains the details of the citizens' reports called in earlier in the day. He was the first law enforcement officer on the scene, got there just before the EMTs, he had photographed the body, taken notes, conducted the brief investigation.  His throat catches.  There are tears in his eyes.  He hates this part of the job.  He tells a few details of the suicide scene.  You need to know this, he says, I'm required to tell you.  The woman reaches out her professional hand to you, offering her version of compassion.   Observe what's going on inside you right now, as you enter into this scene in your imagination.  What is happening in your body, your thoughts, you emotions, your impulses, your desires? Let yourself enter into this experience  The victims' assistance coordinator is discussing a few details "Things I have to tell you" she says.  Standard protocols in situations like this.  Something about confirming the identity in the morgue, something else about an autopsy.  Something about who you can lean on in your support network family and friends.  Something about how hard this all is to take in at once.  And there are some government forms to fill out.  And a very nicely designed brochure entitled "Surviving the Loss of a Loved One to Suicide" that you get to keep for handy reference.  Do you have any questions at this point she asks?  Yes, we are sure it's your loved one.  The identification was very clear, there is no mistake.   Stay with this experience for just a minute if you can without losing your grounding.  See if you can just accept what's going on inside -- and acceptance doesn't necessarily mean endorsement -- see if you can accept what's going on inside and really experience it -- the feelings, the impulses, the assumptions, the thoughts, the beliefs, the implications, whatever is coming up.    Do you notice different parts within you?  Different modes of being, maybe different messages coming to you?  You may just have experienced a taste, a sip of the cup that 300,000 parents, siblings, children and spouses of those who die by suicide experience each year in the US, and millions worldwide.  Hang on to what you learned about your reactions, keep it in mind as we dive deep into suicides devastating impact on those left behind.  [Cue Intro Music]   Opening Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics, thank you for being here with me, it is good to be here with you, I am glad we are together as we face this difficult topic of suicide.  In episode I am clinical psychological Peter Malinoski and you are listening to the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast, where we take on the toughest topics, the most difficult and raw themes that many people want to avoid.  Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com   This is the fourth in our series on Suicide. In episode 76, we got into what the secular experts have to say about suicide.  In episode 77, we reviewed the suicides in Sacred Scripture, in the Bible.   In the last episode, number 78, we sought to really understand the phenomenological worlds of those who kill themselves -- what happens inside?  How can we understand suicidal behaviors more clearly, dispelling myths and gripping on to the sense of desperation and the need for relief that drives so much suicidal behavior.  Today, in Episode 79, released on August 2, 2021 we will take a deep dive into the devastating impact of suicide on those left behind.  We'll go deep into the internal experience of the parents, spouses, children, siblings, and friends of those who killed themselves to see how they experienced suicide.   Alison Wertheimer: A Special Scar: The Experiences of People Bereaved by Suicide said this: [Suicide] has often far-reaching repercussions for many others. It is rather like throwing a stone into a pond; the ripples spread and spread.  Now, Alison, with all due respect, I think you're totally wrong about that.  It's not just ripples from a stone in a pond. For the spouses, parents, children, siblings and friends who are left behind to deal with the impact of a suicide it's more like a tidal wave resulting from an underwater earthquake than ripples from a stone.    Linda Lee Landon -- Author of Life after Suicide said this, which is much more on the money:  Suicide creates a monstrous emotional upsurge of shame and guilt. Everyone participates in feeling responsible and even shamed at knowing the suicidal candidate.  What those who attempt suicide often don't think about is that suicide is not just an ending.  It's a beginning.  The beginning of many new things for many people, for the ones left behind.     Why religions of the world condemn suicide  Article on theconversation.com from June 12, 2018 Mathew Schmalz Associate Professor of Religion, College of the Holy Cross Many of the world's religions have traditionally condemned suicide because, as they believe, human life fundamentally belongs to God. Many of world's religions have beliefs that condemn suicide.  In the Jewish tradition, the prohibition against suicide originated in Genesis 9:5, which says, “And for your lifeblood I will require a reckoning.” This means that humans are accountable to God for the choices they make. From this perspective, life belongs to God and is not yours to take. Jewish civil and religious law, the Talmud, withheld from a suicide the rituals and treatment that were given to the body in the case of other deaths, such as burial in a Jewish cemetery, though this is not the case today. A similar perspective shaped Catholic teachings about suicide. St. Augustine of Hippo, an early Christian bishop and philosopher, wrote that “he who kills himself is a homicide.” In fact, according the Catechism of St. Pius X, an early 20th-century compendium of Catholic beliefs, someone who died by suicide should be denied Christian burial – a prohibition that is no longer observed. Original Condemnation of Suicide  The Catholic view of suicide developed in the Greco-Roman world where suicide was quite common, easily tolerated, seldom condemned or criticized, sometimes applauded, and quite frequently undertaken for the most trivial of reasons. These teachings developed in protest to the abuse of life manifested in this culture.  Fr. Robert Barry, The Development of the Roman Catholic Teachings on Suicide.  p.  460 The Italian poet Dante Aligheri, in “The Inferno,” extrapolated from traditional Catholic beliefs and placed those who had committed the sin of suicide on the seventh level of hell, where they exist in the form of trees that painfully bleed when cut or pruned. According to traditional Islamic understandings, the fate of those who die by suicide is similarly dreadful. Hadiths, or sayings, attributed to the Prophet Muhammad warn Muslims against committing suicide. The hadiths say that those who kill themselves suffer hellfire. And in hell, they will continue to inflict pain on themselves, according to the method of their suicide. In Hinduism, suicide is referred to by the Sanskrit word “atmahatya,” literally meaning “soul-murder.” “Soul-murder” is said to produce a string of karmic reactions that prevent the soul from obtaining liberation. In fact, Indian folklore has numerous stories about those who commit suicide. According to the Hindu philosophy of birth and rebirth, in not being reincarnated, souls linger on the earth, and at times, trouble the living. Buddhism also prohibits suicide, or aiding and abetting the act, because such self-harm causes more suffering rather than alleviating it. And most basically, suicide violates a fundamental Buddhist moral precept: to abstain from taking life. Secular positions “When people kill themselves, they think they're ending the pain, but all they're doing is passing it on to those they leave behind.” ― Jeannette Walls  “Committing suicide essentially said to friends and loved ones and the world at large that you were the only thing that mattered, that your problems were hopeless that you deserved to escape from them and to hell with everyone else.  Suicide was nothing more than a way to look in the eye of the people who loved you and say, "My pain is paramount and I want it to end. The pain you will feel when I am gone, and the guilt you will experience at not having been able to stop me, do not matter to me. I am willing for you to suffer for the rest of your life so that I can take the easy way out of mine.”        ― Christine Warren, You're So Vein  “When you attempt suicide, the counselors try to talk you out of trying it again by asking you about other people, which is good prevention if you care about other people.”― Albert Borris, Crash Into Me   Marsha M. Linehan, Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder:  “The desire to commit suicide, however, has at its base a belief that life cannot or will not improve. Although that may be the case in some instances, it is not true in all instances. Death, however, rules out hope in all instances. We do not have any data indicating that people who are dead lead better lives." Sinead O'Connor -- Irish Singer and Songwriter, history of acts hostile to the Catholic church:  Suicide doesn't solve your problems. It only makes them infinitely, un-countably worse.   Lack of empathy, hardness, even harshness toward victims of suicide.  The pendulum swings.  No Sin, no crime  Huffington Post article Why You Should Stop Saying ‘Committed Suicide'   Lindsay Holmes The phrase is stigmatizing in a lot of outdated, insensitive ways.  Simply put, “committed suicide” conveys shame and wrongdoing; it doesn't capture the pathology of the condition that ultimately led to a death. It implies that the person who died was a perpetrator rather than a victim.  Stop Saying 'Committed Suicide.'  Say 'Died by Suicide' instead.  by Kevin Caruso   Criminals commit crimes.  Suicide is not a crime.  So STOP SAYING “Committed Suicide.”  That is a term that needs to be expunged completely. It is inaccurate; it is insensitive; and it strongly contributes to the horrible stigma that is still associated with suicide.  A much better term is: “Died by Suicide.” Gabriel's Light, Carol and Brendon Deely.  :Words have power. It is important that we stop using the word “committed” when talking about suicide. Think about phrases like “commit murder” or “commit adultery.”  The word commit harkens back to beliefs that suicide is a crime or sin. But suicide is a sin  Sin as breaking divine laws Baltimore Catechism  #3 Lesson 6:  Q. 278. What is actual sin?  A. Actual sin is any willful thought, word, deed, or omission contrary to the law of God.  1849 Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity. It has been defined as "an utterance, a deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law." Sins break relationships.  Jesuit Fr. Andrew Hamilton in a post called "Sin, the Breaking of Relationship" on the ignatianspiritulality.com website:  I think that the best images from a Christian point of view describe sin in terms of breaches of relationships between people, between people and themselves, between people and the world of which we are part, and between people and God. All those relationships have a proper form of respect that considers all relationships and not just the ones immediately involved in an engagement. In sin these relationships are breached by greed, arrogance, rage, resentment, contempt, fear, lack of due attention, and so on. Because respect is the natural expression of love, sin is always a failure to love. Breaking of relationship with self -- Love your neighbor as yourself.  -- second great commandment The person who takes his own life is indeed a victim.  He is the victim of a killing, the one who is killed. But he is also a perpetrator -- the one who did the killing.   He has a relationship with himself.  A perpetrator - victim relationship.   Breaking of relationship with others -- a lack of love, a lack of giving of himself Whether they want to or not, those who suicide break relationships with others.   The one who suicides may not be capable  But how did he get there. Concern that considering suicide as not a crime or a sin, and looking at it as a disease for example can make it seem as though it springs up from nowhere.    Case of 17 year old Michelle Carter Michelle Carter Case: Facts  THE PUZZLE OF INCITING SUICIDE  Guyora Binder* and Luis Chiesa** In 2014, 18-year-old Conrad Roy committed suicide, two years after a previous unsuccessful attempt. Police soon discovered that in the preceding week, 17-year-old Michelle Carter, who described Roy as her boyfriend, had sent him many text messages urging him to develop and carry out a plan to kill himself.  Moreover, Carter had pressed Roy to proceed in a phone call when he hesitated  in the very process of killing himself. And yet Carter had originally tried to talk Roy out of suicide, and only changed her position after he persuaded her that nothing else could relieve his misery.  Carter was charged with manslaughter in a Massachusetts juvenile court. The charge was upheld by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court and, in 2017, Carter was convicted, and sentenced to a fifteen-month term of imprisonment Most people recognize that Michelle Carter's actions in this case were wrong.   If suicide is not a sin, if it's not wrong, if it's just a choice -- why was Michelle Carter convicted?   Going to look at impact -- impact on parents, spouses, children, and siblings of those who kill themselves. Definition of parts Suicide makes so much more sense if we understand each person not as a uniform, monolithic, homogenous, single personality, but rather as a dynamic system including a core self and parts.  That helps to explain so much, including shifts over time.   Definition of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.  You can also think of them as separate modes of operating if that is helpful.  Not just transient mood states, but whole constellations of all these aspects.   Parts are seeking some good for us, even when the means they use are maladaptive or harmful. Three roles Exiles --  most sensitive -- these exiles have been exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships They have suffered relational traumas or attachment injuries Suicide is an extreme form of  relational trauma, an extreme form of abandonment in relationship.  Suicide can also be experienced, rightly or wrongly, as a form of rejection.   Exiled parts hold the painful experiences that have been isolated from conscious awareness to protect the person from being overwhelmed with the intensity of the experience of the loss of the loved one.  The grief, the pain, the loss, and also the anger and resentment, the shame and the blame.   Exiled parts desperately want to be seen and known, to be safe and secure, to be comforted and soothed, to be cared for and loved and healed of their wounds, relieved of the burdens that were thrust upon them by the suicide -- and this is true whether or not the person who committed suicide intended harm or not -- even if there was no ill-will, no intention, it's still wounding, it's still harmful.   Exiled parts want rescue, redemption, healing And in the intensity of their needs and emotions, they threaten to take over and destabilize the person's whole being, the person's whole system -- they want to take over the raft to be seen and heard, to be known, to be understood.  But they can flood us with the intensity of their experience, with the intensity of the burdens they carry.   Burdens they carry:  Shame, dependency, worthlessness, Fear/Terror, Grief/Loss, Loneliness, Neediness, Pain, lack of meaning or purpose, a sense of being unloved and unlovable, inadequate, abandoned All of those can be created or exacerbated by a loved one's suicide Young parts, not mature ways of thinking Filters, lenses -- Suicide of a loved one can confirm and strengthen the feelings of intrinsic badness or unworthiness that an exile carries.   Managers These are the proactive protector parts.  They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt.  They work really hard to keep you safe.  "Never again" attitude toward the exiles.   Very much about reducing risk of overwhelm.   controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging,  Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding.   Firefighters When exiles break through and threaten to take over the system, like in Inside Out, remember the parts and the control panel?  So when these exiles are about the break out, the firefighters leap into action.  It's an emergency situation, a crisis, like a fire raging in a house.  No concern for niceties, for propriety, for etiquette, for little details like that.   Firefighter take bold, drastic actions to stifle, numb or distract from the intensity of the exile's experiences.   Intense neediness and grief are overwhelming us!  Emergency actions -- battle stations!   Evasive maneuvers, Arm the torpedoes, Full speed ahead!  No concern for consequences -- don't you get it, we are in a crisis,  All kinds of addictions -- alcohol use, binge eating, shopping, sleeping, dieting, excessive working or exercise, suicidal actions, self-harm, violence, dissociation, distractions, obsessions, compulsions, escapes into fantasy, and raging.   Parts can take over the person  Impact on Parents Amy Evans, Kathleen Abrahamson 2020 review article Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services:  A systematic review of the literature was conducted to evaluate the impact of public stigma on bereavement of suicide survivors. A total of 11 qualitative and quantitative studies were reviewed. Suicide survivors reported feeling shamed, blamed, and judged. They perceived a general discomfort and awkwardness surrounding the suicide, which contributed to avoidance and secrecy. Higher perceived stigma levels were associated with global psychological distress, depression, self-harm, and suicidality.  Suicide Bearing families report higher levels of rejection, shame, stigma, the need to conceal the loved one's cause of death, and blaming.  Ilanit Tal: Death Studies 2017 those with complicated grief after suicide had the highest rates of lifetime depression, pre-loss passive suicidal ideation, self-blaming thoughts, and impaired work and social adjustment compared to other causes of death.   Ultimate failure of parent -- > Shame  Desire to disconnect  2018 article Parents' Experiences of Suicide-Bereavement: A Qualitative Study at 6 and 12 Months after Loss  Victoria Ross, Kairi Kõlves,* Lisa Kunde, and Diego De Leo  2018 article International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.  Research in Queensland, Australia.  7 mothers and 7 fathers (no couples) who had lost a child to suicide.   Death of a child by suicide is a severe trauma, increases risks of psychological and physical symptoms.  Increases risk of internal fragmentation, increasing disconnection among parts.   Three major themes  Searching for answers and sense making  -- the question of "Why?"  Reflective process Where there had been no previous indications that the suicide would occur, parents described their feelings of shock and bewilderment, and reflected on their many unanswered questions about the motivations for the suicide.  From a mother, six months after her son died by suicide:  “There are times when you start to think and you think, why? I mean we had no idea that he'd ever do anything like this, we didn't think he would. He even said that he would never ever do anything like this, and then to turn around and do it.”   Father, six months after his son committed suicide:  “You question so much all the time. Because you're going to naturally question whether it's you, whether he's in trouble at uni, money trouble… Maybe he was depressed. I don't know. We didn't see any signs... It would've been nice to have someone who would've had the answers, to tell you the thought processes that could go on. But no one's really had any idea. Just the questions behind why—give us some ideas why he would've done it.” Coping Strategies and support Avoidance, e.g. excessive working   From a father whose child died by suicide 12 months earlier:  “But we don't really talk about it—if you mean the incident or what happened.”   Manager activity -- proactive Excessive drinking to avoid the pain of loss From a father whose child died by suicide six months earlier:  “It's the weekly, every day drinking in the week that's definitely increased. Whereas before, we'd try not drink for three days … but now it's definitely, at least one bottle to myself, every night.”  Firefighter activity -- reactive   Quote from a mother whose child died by suicide six months earlier: “Like I said, you know, you either collapse under the pile, or you scrabble up with it, dig in your toes, and your fingernails, and even your teeth if you have to, to just rise above it …”   Adaptive processes -- come more from the self -- engaging with internal experience Writing letters to children  Celebrating birthdays  Visiting gravesites  Psychotherapy or marital counseling  Support groups   Finding meaning and purpose Learning process  Reflecting and re-evaluating their lives  Changing priorities  Making positive contributions  Mother , 12 months “I have good days and bad days. It's horrible, just horrible. There's probably not a day goes by that I don't have a cry ... It just doesn't get any easier.”   Importance of integration.  Impact on the Spouse  Reactions  Rejection and betrayal Broken vows, commitments abandoned  Could not look to you for help.  How is this not a breaking of relationship?   Unspoken criticism stemming from negative judgment Proactive manager parts asking questions like this -- What was so wrong with the marriage that he would prefer to kill himself?   Shame -- deeply burdensome.   Guilt -- frantic looking for what I did wrong, in an effort to make sure this never happens to anyone again.   JAMA Psychiatry Article Yeates Conwell, MD et al. Association Between Spousal Suicide and Mental, Physical, and Social Health Outcomes: A Longitudinal and Nationwide Register-Based Study.  Denmark.   3.5 million men (4,814 of whom were bereaved by spousal suicide) and more than 3.5 million women (10,793 of whom who were bereaved by spousal suicide). Major Findings Spouses bereaved by a partner's suicide had higher risk than the general population of developing mental health disorders within five years of the loss.   Spouses bereaved by a partner's suicide had elevated risk for developing physical disorders, such as cirrhosis and sleep disorders, which may be attributed to unhealthy coping styles, than the general population. Spouses bereaved by a partner's suicide were more likely to use more sick leave benefits, disability pension funds and municipal support than the general population. Compared with spouses bereaved by other manners of death for a partner, those bereaved by suicide had higher risks for developing mental health disorders, suicidal behaviors and death. Impact on Children Children are existentially vulnerable and they know it.  It's obvious to them.   Johns Hopkins researchers: 2010 Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Those who lost a parent to suicide as children or teens were three times more likely to commit suicide than children and teenagers with living parents. However there was no difference in suicide risk when the researchers compared those 18 years and older. Young adults who lost a parent to suicide did not have a higher risk when compared to those with living parents. Children under the age of 13 whose parent died suddenly in an accident were twice as likely to die by suicide as those whose parents were alive but the difference disappeared in the older groups  Harold S. Koplewicz, MD, Commenting on that article:  Even more than an accidental death, a suicide generates horror, anger, shame, confusion, and guilt—all feelings that a child can experience as overwhelming. The biggest risk to a child's emotional health is not being able, or encouraged, to express these feelings, and get an understanding of what happened that he or she can live with. When a mother who has been depressed commits suicide, for instance, we want that understanding to be that she suffered from a mental illness, a disorder in her brain that caused her death, despite the efforts of those who loved her to save her.   Guidance: The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) is Canada's largest mental health teaching hospital and one of the world's leading research centres in its field. CAMH is fully affiliated with the University of Toronto https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/when-a-parent-dies-by-suicide Did I do something to make this happen?  Is it my fault  If I'd only done what Mom asked me to do."  "If I hadn't fought with my brothers so much."  Manager parts -- seeking to prevent future tragedy Could I have prevented Mom's suicide What could I have done differently? Will I die by suicide too? Are you going to die, too?  Will I be left alone? If I die by suicide too, will I see mom again?   Why am I so sad?  Will I be sad forever? After the death of a parent, children may also feel:      abandoned    shocked    sad    angry    fearful    guilty    confused    depressed    anxious    lost or empty.When will it stop hurting?  When will I feel betterSuicide is never anyone's fault. This message needs to be repeated over and over again. Damaging to self esteem --  I was not worth living for.  Loss of protection, caregiver, mentor.   Impact on Siblings  Taylor Porco's brother, Jordan, died by suicide  National Public Radio August 25, 2017 "I was really depressed and in such extreme pain. Nothing, literally, mattered to me after he died. All I wanted was my brother back. I never loved someone as much as I loved him," she says. Siblings have deep, protective bonds.  Shared experience of sharing parents.   Psychotherapist Leah Royden Psychology Today February 15, 2019  -- Lost her brother to suicide when she was 21.   It's confusing, painful, and hard—with more challenges than "normal" bereavement. A marked sense of guilt and responsibility around the death -- often carried by exiles but also by managers  Intense anger, stemming from a deep sense of rejection and abandonment -- the exiles, but also the firefighters  Feelings of shame and worthlessness -- exiles.   Overwhelming anxiety and fear -- this is the exiles breaking through.   Siblings suffer intensely—and they also tend to suffer invisibly -- attention tends to go to the parents.   surviving siblings “often find themselves not only neglected, but expected to put their needs aside in order to spare their parents further distress” (1992 dissertation by Ariate S. Rakic, 1992, p. 2). Rakic:  Even though they shared many demographic similarities, the sibling survivor group were operating at well below their potential. While the other bereaved siblings were taking positive, active steps towards a secure future, “all the siblings in the suicide group … envisioned a narrow range of possibilities for success, and blamed themselves for the decisions and choices that proved to be detrimental to their lives.”   Royden:  presence of anger towards the dead sibling—let alone its expression—is usually viewed as highly inappropriate and unacceptable, even in families that can speak relatively freely about emotions. There's usually no space to talk within the family—and nowhere to talk outside of it either.  I would add not a place to have an internal dialog about it all.   The loss can cast a very long shadow, affecting the siblings' sense of security in the future, in relationships, and in life itself. Many siblings eventually create meaningful, purposeful lives out of this emotional nightmare—with a greater sense of perspective and empathy. Impact on the Church, the Mystical Body of Christ 1 Corinthians 12 12-14  12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many.   26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. 27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. As Catholics, we are all in relationship with each other.  If one of us dies by suicide, it's not just some isolated choice but a separate person, with no impact.  We are part of the same body.  The mystical body of Christ.  There's a real loss there.    Action Items If you are having suicidal thoughts or know of someone who is, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.  Subscribe to this podcast -- like it on social media, leave reviews on Apple Podcasts or whatever podcast platform you use.   Resilient Catholics Community.   Catholic's Guide to Helping a Loved One in Distress  Conversation hours T, R 317.567.9594    Pray for me and for the other listeners   Patronness and patron

Lead-in Almost no one understands suicide very well.  Almost no one.   Some of you might say -- but Dr. Peter, I've been really down and out.  I've been really suicidal.  I've been there.  I lived it.   Not gonna argue with you about having been suicidal. But having intense feelings, almost irresistible impulses toward suicide, constant suicidal thoughts  -- that doesn't mean you understand suicide.  Not at all. I don't think most people who have attempted suicide really understand their experience.   I don't think most therapists really understand suicide.     Why ?  Because we're afraid to really enter into what is behind suicide.  We don't want to go there.  We're terrified of what lurks underneath.  We have parts of us that don't want to understand.   Lauren Oliver, Delirium “Suicide. A sideways word, a word that people whisper and mutter and cough: a word that must be squeezed out behind cupped palms or murmured behind closed doors. It was only in dreams that I heard the word shouted, screamed." And I'll go further than that.  And it's not so much because we're afraid of what we'll find in another person, a friend or relative or colleague.  It's because we are terrified that finding the darkness inside of others will wake up our own sleeping giants of darkness.  The darkness inside us.  The terror inside us.  That's why we avoid, why we distract, why we skirt the edges of this topic.  Benjamin Franklin knew this:  Nine men in ten are would-be suicides   -Poor Richard's Almanack.   Freud popularized it in 1920 -- book the Pleasure Principle.   -- he discussed the death drive: the drive toward death and destruction, often expressed through behaviors such as aggression, repetition compulsion, and self-destructiveness.  Death drive or drives went by the name Thanatos -- the Greek god personified death. Caught a lot of flak for it, then and now.  Not really widely accepted.  I think he was on to something.  Something we don't want to think about others -- that they have drives toward self-destruction.  It's something that we don't want to admit about ourselves.   If we are really honest with ourselves in looking at suicide we would realize, with John Bradford There but for the grace of God go I. We would give up our false presumptions about our own strength and our own natural resiliency.   We would realize, with Shakespeare's Lord Chancellor in Henry VIII “We all are men, in our own natures frail, and capable of our flesh; few are angels.” ― Lord Chancellor William Shakespeare, Henry VIII  We would understand Mahatma Ghandi when he said: “If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.”  We would have a lot less judgement about the souls and experience of those who killed themselves.  Yes, the action of suicide is wrong, gravely wrong, and we'll discuss that in next week's episode.  We're not minimizing the gravity of the act -- I'm talking here about the phenomenological experience of those on the brink of self-destruction and why they are there.   And we would understand something about the spiritual dimensions, the dark spiritual powers at work in suicide as well.    I could be wrong about this, but I don't think you really have any accurate idea about suicide.  Suicide is one of the most misunderstood of human actions.   Because we want to avoid the churning darkness, the despair, the hopelessness, the alienation, the trauma within us, we don't want to see it in others.  And if someone near is suicidal, we know, we know instinctively that he is tapping into his despair, his hopelessness, his alienation.  We know that our suicidal is really in the grip of her trauma and her isolation, and her excruciating pain.   And our natural response -- is to flee.  To get out of dodge.  To protect ourselves.  We rationalize it -- I'm not a professional, I'm not a counselor, I don't know what to do with all of this intensity Or we stay in there, we force ourselves to stay in relationship, feeling really inadequate, not wanting to go too deep, not wanting to screw it up -- and in our timidity and fear, we actually aren't very helpful.  OK --  I will grant you that you don't really know what to do.   And I get it that you're afraid -- maybe terrified.  OK.   This is a tough issue.  Suicide is a tough issue.  And tough issues are what we specialize in here.  [Cue music] Intro Welcome to the podcast Interior Integration for Catholics, thank you for being here with me, thank you for making it through the lead in and not fleeing from this episode.  I'm glad you and I are in this together.  And it's going to be OK.  By God's grace, together we can handle, we can work with, we can work through this topic of suicide.  We'll do it together.   I am clinical psychological Peter Malinoski and you are listening to the Interior Integration for Catholics podcast, where we take on the toughest topics, the ones others don't want to touch, and we go really deep with them.  Why?  Not out of some kind of idle curiosity.  Not out of disorder curiosity, out of some kind of psychological voyeurism.  No.  We go there in this podcast because we are working on ourselves.  On our own human formation, shoring up the natural foundation for our spiritual lives, so that we can enter into loving union with God.  That's why.  It's about removing the psychological barriers you have to a much deeper intimacy with God the Father, Jesus the Son, the Holy Spirit, and the Blessed Virgin Mary, our Mother.  In the last episode we looked at specific cases of suicide in Sacred Scripture.  This is episode number 78, released on July 26, 2021, entitled The Desperate Inner Experience of Suicidality.  We are going to enter into the phenomenological world of the suicidal person.   Why?  Why do we do that?  Why do that? Two answers.  The second answer is for going into all of this depth on suicide is so that you and I can love.  So that we can love others who are struggling with this -- and there are so many.   Franklin estimated 90%.  Nine men in ten are would-be suicides.  I think he's right, even though the vast majority of those don't even know there's a struggle going on inside them.  I think Benjamin Franklin knew about the latent potential in most people. Freud:  Thanatos.  The Death Drives.  Freud knew.  For all his faults and follies, Freud knew something about the depth of pain in people's souls.  The pain that lives in the unconscious.  Locked away, at least for a time.  Unnoticed, at least for a time.   The first answer:  Is so that we can be known and loved.  That we can accept others knowing us, and us knowing ourselves.   1 John 4:19  We love, because he first loved us.   He first loved us.  We need to let God love us.  We need to let our Lady, our Mother love us In our woundedness.  In our suffering.  In our shame, in our pain, in our fear, in our sadness, however our darkness is for us.  Whatever our darkness is.   Isaiah 9:2  The people that walked in darkness, have seen a great light: to them that dwelt in the region of the shadow of death, light is risen. Not just about the external world, but also our internal world.   The Pain Caveats -- Difficult topic.  “The pain of severe depression is quite unimaginable to those who have not suffered it, and it kills in many instances because its anguish can no longer be borne. The prevention of many suicides will continue to be hindered until there is a general awareness of the nature of this pain.”― William Styron, Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness  “Nobody has ever killed themselves over a broken arm. But every day, thousands of people kill themselves because of a broken heart. Why? Because emotional pain hurts much worse than physical pain.”        ― Oliver Markus Malloy, Bad Choices Make Good Stories   “When people are suicidal, their thinking is paralyzed, their options appear spare or nonexistent, their mood is despairing, and hopelessness permeates their entire mental domain. The future cannot be separated from the present, and the present is painful beyond solace. ‘This is my last experiment,' wrote a young chemist in his suicide note. ‘If there is any eternal torment worse than mine I'll have to be shown.” ― Kay Redfield Jamison, Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide  ““Suicidal pain includes the feeling that one has lost all capacity to effect emotional change. The agony is excruciating and looks as if it will never end. There is the feeling of having been beaten down for a very long time. There are feelings of agitation, emptiness, and incoherence. 'Snap out of it and get on with your life,' sounds like a demand to high jump ten feet.”        ― David L. Conroy, Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain  Suicide is best understood not so much as a movement toward death as it is a movement away from something and that something is always the same: intolerable emotion, unendurable pain, or unacceptable anguish.  Maurizio Pompili & Roberto Tatarelli Parts and Suicide So helpful to think of suicide in terms of parts.   A phenomenon that a number of people have noted while in deep depression is the sense of being accompanied by a second self — a wraithlike observer who, not sharing the dementia of his double, is able to watch with dispassionate curiosity as his companion struggles against the oncoming disaster, or decides to embrace it. There is a theatrical quality about all this, and during the next several days, as I went about stolidly preparing for extinction, I couldn't shake off a sense of melodrama — a melodrama in which I, the victim-to-be of self-murder, was both the solitary actor and lone member of the audience.”   ― William Styron, Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness  Definition of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   Each part has Personality style   Needs -- Episode 62 Attachment needs  Integrity needs   Emotions  Body sensation.   Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  Interpersonal style  World view  Often have burdens  Ways of coping Review of Parts Exiles --  most sensitive -- these exiles have been exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships They have suffered relational traumas or attachment injuries They hold the painful experiences that have been isolated from conscious awareness to protect the person from being overwhelmed with the intensity. They desperately want to be seen and known, to be safe and secure, to be comforted and soothed, to be cared for and loved They want rescue, redemption, healing And in the intensity of their needs and emotions, they threaten to take over and destabilize the person's whole being, the person's whole system -- they want to take over the raft to be seen and heard, to be known, to be understood.  But they can flood us with the intensity of their experience And that threatens to harm external relationships Burdens they carry:  Shame, dependency, worthlessness, Fear/Terror, Grief/Loss, Loneliness, Neediness, Pain, lack of meaning or purpose, a sense of being unloved and unlovable, inadequate, abandoned Exiles' Role in Suicide Furnishing the intolerable pain.   Exiles bring the intensity. The fuel   Description of the pain of suicide -- Quotes Perhaps everything terrifying is deep down a helpless thing that needs our help,” Rainer Maria Rilke wrote to a friend and protégé, encouraging him to make peace with his inner demons.  “Actually, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy.”― Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted 1993 memoir of being in a mental hospital for 18 months in the late 1960s.  Managers These are the proactive protector parts.  They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt.  They work really hard to keep you safe.  "Never again" attitude toward the exiles.   Very much about reducing risk of overwhelm.   controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging,  Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding.   Firefighters When exiles break through and threaten to take over the system, this is terrifying.  The consequences of exile taking over could be disastrous.  So when these exiles are about the break out, the firefighters leap into action.  It's an emergency situation, a crisis, like a fire raging in a house.  Firefighters are focused on rescuing us from a terrible situation.   No concern for niceties, for propriety, for etiquette, for little details like that.   Firefighter take bold, drastic actions to stifle, numb or distract from the intensity of the exile's experiences.  They break down the door and spray water over everything, trying to calm the raging flames.   No concern for consequences -- don't you get it, we are in a crisis,  All kinds of addictions -- alcohol use, binge eating, shopping, sleeping, dieting, excessive working or exercise, suicidal actions, self-harm, violence, dissociation, distractions, obsessions, compulsions, escapes into fantasy, and raging.   Parts can take over the person   Firefighters' role in Suicide  Serious suicidal impulses can be driven by firefighters: Just make the pain of the exiles stop.  Suicidal firefighters are filled with hopelessness -- they don't know of another way to protect you.   They have been beaten down, sometimes literally, always figuratively.   Desperation of firefighters If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.  “In my view, suicide is not really a wish for life to end.'   What is it then?'It is the only way a powerless person can find to make everybody else look away from his shame. The wish is not to die, but to hide.”― Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow  “I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.”― David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson  “The man who kills a man kills a man. The man who kills himself kills all men. As far as he is concerned, he wipes out the world.”― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy  Rapid Shifts among parts The man, who in a fit of melancholy, kills himself today, would have wished to live had he waited a week.  Voltaire  When you're young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you're laughing again.  Marilyn Monroe  who died of an overdose of barbiturates in 1962 at age 36 -- ruled a probable suicide by the county coroner.  “The Suicide, as she is falling, Illuminated by the moon, Regrets her act, and finds appalling The thought she will be dead so soon.”        ― Edward Gorey  Impulse driven suicide 2015 Study in South Korea -- Clinical Psychopharmacology and Neuroscience   87% of suicide attempts were impulsive  Most common trigger was interpersonal conflict Most common diagnosis was major depression.   Often poorly planned Replicated a previous 2011 in South Korea study where 85% were impulsive 2016 South Korean Study in Psychiatry Investigation  48% of 269 suicide attempters brought to ERs were clearly impulsive, very sudden No Plan  No previous suicidal ideation.  They weren't thinking about it.    Came out of the blue   1997 Study from Sweden 44% of suicide attempts were radically impulsive.   Approach:   Always reassure dangerous firefighters that you do not aim to get rid of them.  Treat them with respect and appreciation; they have only been trying to help.  They are trying to help,  trying to protect you from misery.  If dangerous firefighters think there is an effective alternative, they are often game to try that new way They need to experience hope.  Hope is a necessity for normal life and the major weapon against the suicide impulse. Karl A. Menninger It is critically important to present them other options for safety, that they can be safe without needing suicide.   We will get into how to work with them in the next episode.   Managers' role in suicide Remember, managers are more proactive.   Managers still can be very intense, and also in a lot of pain, but they are not so reactive.   Planned Suicide Suicide seriously considered.  Suicide as a "comforting" option.  Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche was a German philosopher, cultural critic, composer, poet, writer, and philologist whose work has exerted a profound influence on modern intellectual history. He began his career as a classical philologist before turning to philosophy.  The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night.” prepared a will, decided upon a method in advance, and planned the date of the attempt.   Repeated suicidal impulses from firefighter can be taken up by managers Or firefighters can take on a more managerial role  And use contemplation of suicide as a role.   Quotes “The thought that I might kill myself formed in my mind coolly as a tree or a flower.” Sylvia Plath American poet, novelist, and short-story writer -- attempted suicide several times by several means.  Succeeded at age 31, after experiencing major depression for most of her adult life.  1963.   “There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about others' reactions to one's suicide or imagining how death would be a relief from life's travails. In both cases, an aspect of the fantasy is to exert control, either over others' views or toward life's difficulties. The writer A. Alvarez stated, " There people ... for whom the mere idea of suicide is enough; they can continue to function efficiently and even happily provided they know they have their own, specially chosen means of escape always ready..." In her riveting 2008 memoir of bipolar disorder, Manic, Terri Cheney opened the book by stating, "People... don't understand that when you're seriously depressed, suicidal ideation can be the only thing that keeps you alive. Just knowing there's an out--even if it's bloody, even if it's permanent--makes the pain bearable for one more day."  This strategy appears to be effective for some people, but only for a while. Over longer periods, fantasizing about death leaves people more depressed and thus at higher risk for suicide, as Eddie Selby, Mike Amestis, and I recently showed in a study on violent daydreaming. A strategy geared toward increased feelings of self-control (fantasizing about the effects of one's suicide) "works" momentarily, but ultimately backfires by undermining feelings of genuine self-control in the long run.― Thomas Joiner, Myths About Suicide  Like a drug. Battling among Parts “The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remark—why not kill myself? Missed the bus—better put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that movie—maybe I shouldn't kill myself.”        ― Susanna Kaysen   If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?  Comedian Steven Wright   Reasons for Suicide  Suicide is complex Suicide is complex, there's never a single reason why a person contemplates taking their own life, and there are no absolute indicators that a person could be in that state. Steve Crisp   Superficial ones -- see IIC 76 section VII.  Illusory Ones  You didn't love me enough “A lot of you cared, just not enough.” ― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why -- young adult novel  “Some people are just not meant to be in this world. It's just too much for them.” ― Phoebe Stone, The Boy on Cinnamon Street  Vincent:  Don McLean 1971 Vincent Van Gogh   You took your life as lovers often doBut I could have told you, VincentThis world was never meant for oneAs beautiful as you Deeper, more primary causes  -- unmet needs with despair that those needs will ever be met.   Attachment Needs A felt sense of safety and protection, deep sense of security felt in the bones  No parts feel this.  Feeling seen and known heard and understood -- felt attunement  Parts Isolated  Felt comfort, reassurance  Feeling valued, delighted in, cherished by the attachment figure  Felt support for the best self  When attachment needs are not met, who comes in?  Satan.    Integrity Needs All of the above.  Each one of us needs help to develop our sense of self, our identity  I exist  my existence is separate from others --  I exist in my own right, a separate person. bounded, has boundaries  My identity is stable over time and across different situations -- there is a continuity -- hard when parts are all over the place.   I can regulate myself -- I have some self-control.   Is integrated -- coherent interconnections inside between aspects of experience -- self-cohesion  Is active, with agency, can effectively function in the world  Is morally good -- ontologically or essentially good and thus has intrinsic value and worth, apart from others' opinions.   I can make sense of my experience and the world around me  Mission and Purpose in life  We also need to make good choices -- seek what is good, true and beautiful in lif   Compassionate responses When a famous person dies by suicide, we "remind" people to pick up the phone and call a hotline. "If he'd only reached out for help because help was available," is a frequent refrain, as if people who suffer don't know that and the disease doesn't disable cognitive function. We need to do more than give out phone numbers.  Bob Collins  We will be doing so much more.  Through little things and big things.  Next episode.   Action Items If you are having suicidal thoughts or know of someone who is, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.  Resilient Catholics Community.   Catholic's Guide to Choosing a Therapist  Catholic Journeymen -- Dr. Gerry Crete community of faithful Catholic men seeking to renew their lives through prayer, personal growth, healing, and brotherhood!  Conversation hours T, R 317.567.9594  Not July 27 and July 29.   Pray for me and for the other listeners   Patronness and patron

Introduction The Goals:  We Catholics are to love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind.   With every fiber of our being, every last little bit of ourselves.   To love God in every internal experience -- every thought, emotion, body sensation, intention, impulse attitude, belief, assumption, every desire -- every internal experience oriented toward loving God.  Nothing within us oriented any other way.  That's the challenge, that's what that commandment means.    Fr. Jacques Phillipe:   Searching for and Maintaining Peace  -- may be my most favorite book   In order that abandonment might be authentic and engender peace, it must be total.  Must put everything, without exception, into the hands of God, not seeking any longer to manage or” to save” ourselves by her own means: not in the material domain, nor the emotional, nor the spiritual.  We cannot divide human existence and the various sectors: certain sectors where it would be legitimate to surrender ourselves to God with confidence in others where, on the contrary, we feel we must manage exclusively on her own.  And one thing we know well: all reality that we have not surrendered to God, that we choose to manage by ourselves without giving carte blanche to God, will continue to make us more or less uneasy.  The measure of our interior piece will be that of our abandonment, consequently of our detachment.  Page 37 No-go Zones.  Wikipedia A "no-go area" or "no-go zone" is a neighborhood or other geographic area where some or all outsiders either are physically prevented from entering or can enter only at risk.  God doesn't come in here.  Compartmentalization, lack of integration.   Recreational time -- not when I'm watching football, not when I'm playing poker, not when I'm gossiping with my friends.   Work life -- dog eat dog world, highly competitive business, sometimes we have to do things we're not proud of… Sex life -- caught between my partner and my beliefs My private attachments -- drinking, flirting, shopping -- whatever we are attached to.   Deep shame.  Deep rage.  Deep Sadness,  Deep fear.  Inner darkness.   Trauma Zones -- betrayal, abandonment, terror, --attempts to seal that all off, from everything and everyone in order to keep functioning, to keep on with daily activities.   Intro -- Welcome to Interior Integration for Catholics  I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here to help guide you toward  loving God, neighbor and yourself in an ordered, healthy, holy way.  And how do I do that?  By focusing on your natural level impediments, your psychological obstacles to tolerated being loved and to loving God, neighbor and ourselves in the best ways possible  it's all about your human formation  It's all about shoring up your natural foundation for the spiritual life  So many of our spiritual problems are really rooted in our human formation, our natural foundation for the spiritual life   This is Episode 73,  Released on June 21, 2021 and titled  Is Internal Family Systems Really Catholic? I get this question a lot -- Internal Family Systems or IFS has exploded on the therapy scene, especially in the last 10 years and especially as a modality for working with trauma.  It makes sense -- we don't want anything to keep us from God.   Great contribution --  Synthesis of two paradigms  Plural mind -- we all contain many different parts A mind in conversation with itself denotes a non-unitary, relational mind  Internal dilemmas   Systems thinking -- Dick was a therapist trained in family systems Bringing systems thinking inside is a tremendous advance for therapy  On a par with Freud's popularization of the unconscious.   God can reveal the glory of creation to people from all kinds of backgrounds Watson and Crick Discoverers of DNA -- very hostile toward Catholicism.   A core self, protected from harm rich in all kinds of naturally endowed resources.   But Richard Schwartz -- raised in an atheistic home, culturally Jewish -- he writes in the forward of Jenna Riemersma's Book "Altogether You."   My father was a scientist who taught us that religion was at the root of many of the world's conflicts and slaughters .  I maintained a skepticism about anything spiritual until I began exploring my clients' inner terrains and encountered their self Phenomenological approach Definition Phenomenology is the study of structures of consciousness as experienced from the first-person point of view .-- an approach that concentrates on the study of consciousness and the objects of direct experience.   Setting aside preconceived notions -- "privileging data over pride" p. 19 IFS Therapy 2nd ed.  We can enter the unconscious and interact with it directly, asking questions about the desires, distortions, and agendas of the inner system.  In response, our parts will answer clearly, take the client directly to crucial scenes from the past, and explain what is most important about their experience, removing the need for us to speculate, reframe, interpret, or instruct.   This podcast -- authentically Catholic  Necessity for grounding our understanding of psychology and the human person in a Catholic anthropology Define Catholic anthropology  Wikipedia In the context of Christian theology, Christian anthropology is the study of the human ("anthropology") as it relates to God. It differs from the social science of anthropology, which primarily deals with the comparative study of the physical and social characteristics of humanity across times and places.  I am responsible for my words and my teaching.   Scripture verse about teaching Woe to anyone who leads little ones astray   My day of particular judgement  What I teach and what I don't teach.  Omissions.   Catholic with a small c:  The word is from the Greek katholikos, universal, literally in respect of (kata) the whole (holos); St. Augustine De Doctrina Christiana. Cjapter 40   is a theological text on how to interpret and teach the Scriptures. Moreover, if those who are called philosophers, and especially the Platonists, have said anything that is true and in harmony with our faith, we are not only not to shrink from it, but to claim it for our own use.  all branches of heathen learning have not only false and superstitious fancies and heavy burdens of unnecessary toil, which we ought to abhor and avoid; but they contain also liberal instruction which is better adapted to the use of the truth, and some most excellent precepts of morality; and some truths in regard even to the worship of the One God are found among them. Now these are, so to speak, their gold and silver, which they did not create themselves, but dug out of the mines of God's providence which are everywhere scattered abroad.   What is the cost of not exploring this? Omissions vs. Comissions.   Confidence in God -- we can try things Like little children  Can we trust we will be redirected -- or do we have parts that believe there are only offramps on the road to heaven, no onramps.   Harmonizing IFS with Catholicism, not the other way around Catholicism is a revealed religion.    Catherine Beyer learnreligions.com:   A revealed religion is one based on information communicated from the spiritual world to humanity through some sort of medium, most commonly through prophets. Thus, spiritual truth is revealed to believers because it is not something inherently obvious or something one could naturally conclude.  The Judeo-Christian religions are all strongly revealed religions. The Old Testament includes many stories of those whom God used to transmit knowledge of himself and his expectations. Their appearance comes at times when the Jewish people have significantly strayed from God's teachings, and the prophets remind them of his commandments and warn them of impending disaster as punishment. For Christian, Jesus arrived as God incarnate to directly minister to the community.  Church as the guardian of the deposit of faith CCC 889 In order to preserve the Church in the purity of the faith handed on by the apostles, Christ who is the Truth willed to confer on her a share in his own infallibility. By a "supernatural sense of faith" the People of God, under the guidance of the Church's living Magisterium, "unfailingly adheres to this faith."417 890 The mission of the Magisterium is linked to the definitive nature of the covenant established by God with his people in Christ. It is this Magisterium's task to preserve God's people from deviations and defections and to guarantee them the objective possibility of professing the true faith without error. Thus, the pastoral duty of the Magisterium is aimed at seeing to it that the People of God abides in the truth that liberates. To fulfill this service, Christ endowed the Church's shepherds with the charism of infallibility in matters of faith and morals.  Issues Spiral learning.  Definition  of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   Gave examples of my ten parts in episode 71.  Examples also in episode 61.   Parts govern these nogo zones.  They defend these territories in an effort to help us -- actions can be really misguided Definition of Self  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.   Issues --Bill Richardson's article Internal Family Systems Therapy Meets Evangelical Christianity: Integration of Diverse Communities and Theories 2007  Multiplicity  Trinitarian God.  God is one unity in three distinct Persons.  -- Unity and multiplicity And we are made in the image and likeness of God.   Self-relationship We can self-witness  We can communicate within ourselves   We are to love ourselves We have consciousness of self.   Example James 4:1:  Those conflicts and disputes among you, where do they come from? Do they not come from your cravings that are at war within you? Example:  Romans 7:15-23  15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is go0 od. 17 So then it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. 21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inmost self, 23 but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members.  In IFS, the self is "Seat of consciousness"   Self=soul  Really unclear how to compare the "self" with the soul.  This is a thorny question  Self is perfect, undamaged, in no need of development My read is that in IFS, the self is the redeemer of the parts   only the parts are in need of redemption -- the self needs no redemption Self as an internal attachment figure.  Attachment taken inside.   Peace, harmony and love reign internally when the self is leading the system   Originally straight out of the Enlightenment -- central focus on man. Secular Humanism   Self is occluded and overwhelmed by parts with burdens and extreme roles  And so the self is essentially rendered helpless -- IFS does not emphasize this, but it seems to be a correct inference.   Agency seems to be located in the parts, not in the self Parts need to willingly unblend to allow the self to be free  "We can't…command ourselves to be curious rather than contemptuous of our vulnerable parts.  We can't force ourselves to feel compassion, no matter how much we believe its benefits.   Self as Redeemer --  Self is capitalized Agency:   The self is the one who is to govern our whole systems, an active inner leader But the self often lacks agency, sometimes almost completely in IFS parts get to decide when and how to unblend  Negotiating with the parts   What happens when a part just won't cooperate Like a child not wanting to go to take necessary medicine or not wanting to go to bed.  So to Catholic ears, the self can sound like it's dominated by the passions.    Self as the agents Each part has a subparts and a self.   Infinite regress. Self=soul, so this means that each person has multiple souls, one soul -- the self, and a soul for each of his parts.  And because parts have subparts, there might even be subsouls.   Parts can be conflicted -- that is common Because I've been trained for decades in the study of personality, I can locate those conflicts within the personality of a part -- no need to invoke other parts.     Openness to Spiritual World IFS as a spirituality -- Frank Rogers -- IFS as a Compassionate Spiritual Path   Richard Schwartz:  2010 in Introduction to "The Spirit-Led Life" by Mary Steege I gradually shifted my view of what I called the Self from being an innate human capacity for self-healing to a being a spiritual essence comparable to Buddha Nature, Atman, the Tao, or the Ground of Being.  Correspondingly, my view of IFS evolved from being a form of psychotherapy to being an integration of spirituality and psychology, or even to being a form of spiritual practice.  (p. xi)  Shift from secular humanism to spirituality.   Lack of an understanding of sin Evil is acknowledged in IFS, origins are not explained.   Harm exists,  Committed by parts that blend with us.  They don't know better, they are seeking the good as they understand it but there is a lack of vision Acting out of self-protection  No possibility of malevolence, of freely saying no to the good.  Although Augustine's Christian forbears  believed that we are born blessed, Augustine chose to focus on a Biblical allegory of minor importance at the time, which his contemporaries considered embarrassing.   Poorly researched and written 11 page book chapter -- Richard Schwartz and Robert Falconer 2017 -- rife with errors.   Pearls such as  "Jesus wasn't a highly discipline ascetic"  How could he have suffered the Passion. The Eastern Christian Church never accepted original sin In general, Christianity has misidentified parts as sinful urges or tempting thoughts and has encouraged followers to develop managerial parts to fight them.   Confidence.  Confidence in who?  Confidence in Self vs. confidence in God.   Self has many gifts.  Natural level Clarity -- vision is clear when we see through the eyes of Self and it is distorted when we see through the eyes of extreme parts.  Role for revelation?  Wisdom? Lots of Buddhism.   Parts having varying levels of access to the faculties of the intellect and the will Parts having varying access to other faculties and Passions.   Social and Political Positions.   Bill Richardson:  The IFS trainers were definitely neither religiously nor politically conservative, nor evangelical believers.  Their world view was farther left than most of us knew existed.   Very LGBTQ+ friendly Political positions -- very progressive politically Patriarchy Driving with the headlights on - we see what we need to My experience -- desiring to have a philosophy and theology background.  God's response  Confidence in God.   If we are seeking in earnest -- Seek and ye shall find.   I could be wrong about a lot of these things.  In humility I have to admit that.   Talents So is IFS Catholic Two answers -- if you're looking for a model of therapy or human formation that you as a Catholic can embrace unthinkingly, without reservation, without any scrutiny or critical thinking -- just swallowing it whole. Lock, stock and barrell, IFS is not for you.   If you are willing to really make distinctions, parse out what is consistent -- absolute gold mine.    Implications for therapy   Aids  Two dissertations One from DMU, I am on the dissertation commuttee as a reader for that one.  DMU  Philosophers Cafe   Recommended reading Bill Richardson's article  Internal Family Systems Therapy Meets Evangelical Christianity:Integration of Diverse Communities and Theories 2007 Reformed Presbyterian tradition, heavily influenced by Calvin  -- total depravity Two Books Boundaries for Your Soul -- Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller  Altogether You Jenna Riermersma  Molly LaCroix Restoring Relationship: Transforming Fear into Love Through Connection   Possible Exercise.   Communities Blurb  Join Dr. Peter as in a deep look at how Internal Family Systems approaches to therapy and to human formation are consistent and inconsistent with the perennial teachings of the Catholic Church.  We explore the multiplicity and unity of the human psyche, the role of the core self, the nature of "parts" and the question of sin in this episode.      

  The Pitch -- Opening  Set the Scene Two Great Commandments What is the whole point of your life? What is your mission and purpose? What is the most important thing for you to do?  Really think about that for a minute.  What is your ultimate goal on this planet as a Catholic man or woman?   All of us serious Catholics want to love God and neighbor.    36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40 Mitch and Sri CCSS  "Together, the two love Commandments sum up the Ten Commandments, three of which delineate our responsibilities toward God and seven of which concern our duties toward others."   Luke 10:25-28  25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the law? How do you read?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul [being], and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And he said to him, “You have answered right; do this, and you will live.” Highest obligation of every person.   Romans 13:8-10  8 Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not kill, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this sentence, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. The Hurdle -- a problem we're all facing. Simple, right?  But it's not that simple.  My Catholic Life   With this statement, Jesus gives a complete summary of the moral law found in the Ten Commandments.  The first three Commandments reveal that we must love God above all and with all our might.  The last six Commandments reveal that we must love our neighbor.  The moral law of God is as simple as fulfilling these two more general commandments. But is it all that simple?  Well, the answer is both “Yes” and “No.”  It's simple in the sense that God's will is not typically complex and difficult to comprehend.  Love is spelled out clearly in the Gospels and we are called to embrace a radical life of true love and charity. However, it can be considered difficult in that we are not only called to love, we are called to love with all our being.  We must give of ourselves completely and without reserve.  This is radical and requires that we hold nothing back. And that's the kicker -- to love God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind.  With all of us. Think about what that means.  Pablo Gadenz  CCSS Luke   "The idea is that the commandment to love God embraces every aspect of one's being."   Every fiber of our being, every last little bit of ourselves.   If we really think about this commandment -- what are the implications To love God in every internal experience -- every thought, emotion, body sensation, intention, impulse attitude, belief, assumption, every desire -- every internal phenomenological experience oriented toward loving God.   That requires harmony inside.   That requires interior integration for Catholics And Interior Integration for Catholics just happens to be the name of this podcast.  And this whole podcast is all about helping to you to get so much closer to loving God and neighbor and yourself with your whole heart, your whole soul, your whole strength and your whole mind, with all of you -- and that is the whole mission of our online outreach Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com   Intro -- Welcome to Interior Integration for Catholics  I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here to help guide you toward  loving God, neighbor and yourself in an ordered, healthy, holy way.  And how do I do that? By focusing on your natural level impediments, your psychological obstacles to tolerated being loved and to loving God, neighbor and ourselves in the best ways possible  That is the mission of this podcast -- it's all about your human formation and what you need  on the natural level going forward in your life.   John the Baptist is the patron saint of this podcast because he prepared the way for the Lord.   I'm here to help you get ready by shoring up your natural foundation for the spiritual life  This is Episode 72, entitled What Keeps You from Loving?  Is it Really Only Your Vices?  (Spoiler Alert:  No!) Chess analogy -- so the two great Commandments are both simple and complex -- like chess.   One Level -- Chess is a simple game -- the rules are really clear and can be learned in five minutes, and the trickiest part of the rules is castling -- rook/king switcheroo thing.  Or maybe the en passant pawn capture.   On another level, chess is complex -- people spend their professional lives learning to play.  Grandmasters learning into old age.    Love Your Neighbor as yourself We are supposed to love ourselves   Command is not to love our neighbor more than ourselves Not because Jesus is lax:  Mt. 5:48 You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.   No one can love you in lieu of you.    Doesn't make sense if you think of a person has having monolithic, homogeneous personality -- no space for relationship there.   In order to love ourselves other and God, we need interior peace.   Fr. Jacques Phillipe:  Searching For and Maintaining Peace It is of the greatest importance that we strive to acquire an interior peace, the peace of our hearts.  p. 5  The more our soul is peaceful and tranquil, the more God is reflected in it, the more His image expresses itself in us, the more His grace acts through us.  p. 5  Quoting St. Seraphim of Sarov "Acquire interior peace and a multitude will find its salvation through you.  p. 8  p.11 Very frequently, spiritual combat consists precisely in this:  defending one's peace of heart against the enemy who attempts to steal it from us.  p. 12.  The first goal of spiritual combat, that toward which our efforts must above all else be directed, is not to always obtain a victory (over our temptations, our weaknesses, etc.), rather it is to learn to maintain peace of heart under all circumstances, even in the case of defeat.   p. 13  The reasons why we lose our peace are always bad reasons.   The reason for Catholic interested in mindfulness -- Greg Bottaro's books Recollection According to the Catholic Encyclopedia, “Recollection, as understood in respect to the spiritual life, means attention to the presence of God in the soul. It includes the withdrawal of the mind from external and earthly affairs in order to attend to God and Divine things.   Consequence of a lack of interior peace -- self-absorption Starving waiter syndrome  Burning castle analogy.   Spiritual approaches to peace -- Fr. Jacques Phillipe -- master of this.   Natural approaches to peace You can keep going on the way you are.  But what about adding the dimension of interior integration on a natural level  -- wouldn't that be fascinating.   Interior Integration Dimensions of Understanding Others or Ourselves.  0 Dimensions -- single point in space, -- geometry, no dimensionality.  Personalizing it -- you are nothing to me.   He who cut me off on the freeway. Bad to me.  Totally in orbit around me, no separate identity, not even really human.  1 Dimension -- line -- "Loser" to the person who cut you off on the freeway -- no depth, no dimensionality.  Only one quality -- loserliness.  Still very personalized.   2 Dimensions -- plane -- "Loser" or maybe a person who is having a bad day.   Less personal  Cardboard Cutout-- person has a shape, not well understood.   3 Dimensions -- taking into account the emotions, thoughts, body sensations, spiritual aspects, impulses, desires -- person on the way to the hospital More complete snapshot of a moment in time   Person has Personality style  Needs -- attachment needs and integrity needs  Emotions  Body sensation.   Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  Interpersonal style  World view   4 Dimensions -- out of basic geometry now and into physics.  The four dimension is physics assesses an object's position in time.  Analogy to a person's position in time.  Dynamism of the person.  Can be one way in one moment and another way in another moment 5th Dimension --  Not the champagne souls band from the late 60s and early 70s with Marylin McCoo -- big Album Age of Aquarias.  No new agey stuff here.   dimension unseen by humans where the forces of gravity and electromagnetism unite to create a simple but graceful theory of the fundamental forces -- where electromagnetism and gravity unify ---  understanding the other person in terms of self and parts -- unity and multiplicity Part of him in a real hurry -- fears his wife will be angry at him if he is late again.  Self absorbed.   Part of him is fiddling with the radio to distract himself from the fear.   Not really about me at all.   6th Dimension -- no longer in just the natural world.   Seeing him as a Child of God through the eyes of Faith, as God sees him.   Requires supernatural grace Three Dimensional Chess Loving Others Wholly -- all their parts in their complexity. Understanding others Fr. Corapi  Jean Vanier of the L'Arche community.   Acceptance of reality.  Not endorsement.  Episode 66   Elements of love -- Benevolence, Capacity, and Constancy Benevolence -- bonae voluntatis in Latin, good will.   Capacity  Understanding the other Operating in the mode of the receiver  Dependent on us understanding ourselves  Mistaking what is coming from who  Unconscious   Capacity to choose the good -- Freedom.  Well-governed self Regulated  Organized  Calm. compassionate   Possessing virtues   Constancy.  Need peace and interior integration.   Review of the IFS model of a person  - real strength of IFS IFS person = self+parts+body  Self:  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.   We want to be recollected, we want the self-governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm  Curiosity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity  Kindness   Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   Each part has Personality style   Needs -- Episode 62 Attachment needs  Integrity needs   Emotions  Body sensation.   Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  Interpersonal style  World view  Often have burdens   Parts have different attachment styles, different ways of connecting.   Parts have a different love languages -- Five different Love Languages -- Gary Chapman.   Words of affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Gifts Physical Touch So many parts are hidden.  Consider themselves or are considered by other parts to be unacceptable, unlovable, unworthy, dangerous, harmful, inappropriate, or whatever.   I don't know myself when I don't know my parts. I don't know my neighbor when I don't know his or her parts.   I don't love myself when I don't love my parts I don't love my neighbor when I don't love his parts.   IFS turbocharging our understanding of parts, thus enabling us to love all our parts -- dark regions within us, unknown regions within us.  This frees us to love others much more completely, in all their parts.   Experiential Exercise --Increasing recollection, self energy,  Caveats. Quiet place.   8 Cs Calm  Curiosity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity  Kindness     Closing: Does this podcast really resonate with you?  Does it really make sense?  Do these experiential exercises  Do you want to be with likeminded Catholic who are serious about not only our Catholic Faith but also human formation -- who want to learn more about loving God, loving neighbor and loving self is a psychologically-minded way, drawing from the best of our understandings of the human person from both the spiritual and the natural worlds?  Resilient Catholic Community at Souls and Hearts, grew up around my podcast Integration for Catholics -- a place to do that -- registration is open each year in June and December soulsandhearts.com/rcc  If you are committed to this podcast, I want you to learn about the Resilient Catholics community.  Come with me, come with us -- we are pioneers together on this pilgrimage.  Come with us, join us on this adventure on this hard road to life.   Questions: Conversation hours -- 317.567.9594  -- email crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Our community is small and personal.  I am looking forward to meeting you.  People are surprised when I answer the phone in conversation hours.   Go to soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- check out the community.  We are open for the month of June or until our 80 spaces are filled -- discerning.   Tune in next week -- Is Internal Family System Really Catholic?   Blurb for Transistor:  Dr. Peter goes right to the core of the Catholic life, our mission to love God and love neighbor and how those depend on us loving ourselves in an ordered way.  He discusses seven levels with six dimensions of understanding others, ranging along a continuum of developmental maturity and closes with an experiential exercise to help you discover why you lack interior peace.  

Introduction  Very autobiographical today, I'm going to tell you a lot about me and the mistakes I've made and how those mistakes have brought me to do this episode.   I don't really like talking about myself -- not a lot of autobiographical material in previous episodes I especially don't like talking about myself all by myself in my little studio -- not being interviewed by a host -- the really Competent part of me thinks it's a little weird to be sharing details of my life and my struggles and my mistakes, not knowing who is listening because I haven't met most of you, those of you who are my listeners.  I've checked in with the different parts of me and they are all good with it, I have at least grudging acceptance of the idea.   I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.   This podcast is called Interior Integration for Catholics, and it is part of Souls and Hearts our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com  which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor and ourselves.  We're getting into that much more deeply now.   This is episode 71, released on June 7, 2021, entitled A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others.  -- Beginning a brief series of episodes that takes the great insights of Internal Family Systems approaches to understanding the human person on a natural level, and reconciles them with the eternal truths of the Catholic faith.   The Great Journey I could be considered "Highly successful" as a child and adolescent -- 4.0 GPA in High School, Valedictorian, Varsity letters in Track and Cross Country, I acted in high school musicals and plays, excelled in competitive solo-acting, was on the chess team, active in student government and I was a pretty good shot on the local pistol team --  I had a lot going for me.  I continued that success from Northwestern University, graduating with honors, traveling the world, living in Seville, Spain for a year, romping around Mexico one summer.   1991 -- brought to my knees -- 22 years old, just left a high-demand group Catholic group -- strong sense of having been manipulated and used, exploited.   Trying to figure out my own experience -- what just happened?  Why so many contradictory thoughts and feelings?  What was going on.   Either I made a mistake in joining that group or I made a mistake in leaving it.   Existential crisis -- A leader of the group told me that the founder once said that "he wouldn't give a nickel for the soul of any son who abandons his vocation the group."  For the true believer, there was no viable way out. Common reason for getting into psychology - there's something to the meme.   My models were not sufficient.  I was not satisfied with superficial reasons For why I felt the ways I did  For why I thought the ways I thought  For why I acted the ways I did.   In 1993, Began a Ph.D. program in clinical psychology -- the best that psychology had to offer.   The Hunt for a Unitary Personality We all want to understand ourselves 4 temperaments -- Encyclopedia Britannica:  Humoral theories:  2500 years ago.  Perhaps the oldest personality theory known is contained in the cosmological writings of the Greek philosopher and physiologist Empedocles and in related speculations of the physician Hippocrates. Empedocles' cosmic elements—air (with its associated qualities, warm and moist), earth (cold and dry), fire (warm and dry), and water (cold and moist)—were related to health and corresponded (in the above order) to Hippocrates' physical humours, which were associated with variations in temperament: blood (sanguine temperament), black bile (melancholic), yellow bile (choleric), and phlegm (phlegmatic). This theory, with its view that body chemistry determines temperament, has survived in some form for more than 2,500 years. According to these early theorists, emotional stability as well as general health depend on an appropriate balance among the four bodily humours; an excess of one may produce a particular bodily illness or an exaggerated personality trait. Thus, a person with an excess of blood would be expected to have a sanguine temperament—that is, to be optimistic, enthusiastic, and excitable. Too much black bile (dark blood perhaps mixed with other secretions) was believed to produce a melancholic temperament. An oversupply of yellow bile (secreted by the liver) would result in anger, irritability, and a “jaundiced” view of life. An abundance of phlegm (secreted in the respiratory passages) was alleged to make people stolid, apathetic, and undemonstrative.    | Humor  | Season  | Ages  | Element  | Organ  | Qualities  | Temperament  | Blood  | spring  | infancy  | air | liver | warm and moist  | sanguine | Yellow bile  | summer  | youth  | fire | gallbladder | warm and dry  | choleric | Black bile  | autumn  | adulthood  | earth | spleen | cold and dry  | melancholic | Phlegm  | winter  | old age  | water | brain/lungs | cold and moist  | phlegmatic Art and Laraine Bennett.  The Temperament God Gave you.    Freud  Desire for unity  Testing expert Layered Personalities, overlays -- trying to accommodate   Personality is supposed to be stable  Definition of personality Encyclopedia Britannica:   the study of personality focuses on classifying and explaining relatively stable human psychological characteristics.  VeryWellMind.com;  At its most basic, personality is the characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make a person unique. It is believed that personality arises from within the individual and remains fairly consistent throughout life.  But DSM-5, PDM -- Borderline Personality Disorder -- not stable   We want predictability  In 2000 I was at a crossroad in life, about to finish my Ph.D. in clinical psychology and very much struggling to find a way to ground psychology in a Catholic worldview.  Very few resources were available and most of those were very limited.  I was considering leaving the field of psychology altogether, unconvinced that it had anything like the power it promised to bring about healing.  I could fall back on being an applied statistician, or I could retreat into behavioral medicine, but a voice kept saying, “There is a way.  Seek it.”  I trusted that voice, went deeper into my prayer life, and by God's grace, found a path.  Dietrich von Hildebrand (a 20th century Austrian phenomenologist), St. Teresa of Avila, and a protestant psychoanalyst came to help.  By bringing phenomenology, Carmelite writings on prayer, and psychoanalytic approaches to psychotherapy together, I was able to carve out the rudiments of a way of practicing that was both effective and conformable to the Catholic Faith.   In 2020, twenty years later, I found myself at another crossroads, and this time the challenge was to bring psychology and Catholicism together in the online universe in a way that could transform lives without psychotherapy by harnessing the power of a Catholic community.   Zoom, a networking platform and Internal Family Systems came together to make the seemingly impossible possible.  Because of COVID-19, my Catholic interpersonal process group had been meeting online quite effectively.  People were adapting to remote communication technology at a much faster rate.  As stress levels increased with the pandemic there was a huge need to shore up the natural foundation for the spiritual life.  The CCCD podcast I was doing to help Catholics through the pandemic was gaining a following – and the idea came to launch the RCCD community.  Internal Family Systems provides ways for non-therapists to be able to reach out powerfully and effectively to others in community in an attuned way.  IFS also provides an abundance of non-therapy ways of going inside and connecting inwardly.  And the path became clear – let's bring those helpful ways of connecting inwardly and outwardly to committed Catholics who want to be integrated, and who want to be loved and to love others.  Let's make a place where people can practice carrying out the Two Great Commandments, a living training ground to learn to be loved by ourselves and other and to love ourselves and others.    Review of the IFS model of a person Self:  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.   We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm  Curiousity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity  Kindness   Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.   Parts have different attachment styles, different ways of connecting.   Parts have a different love languages -- Five different Love Languages -- Gary Chapman.   Words of affirmation Quality Time Acts of Service Gifts Physical Touch So many parts are hidden.  Consider themselves or are considered by other parts to be unacceptable, unlovable, unworthy, dangerous, harmful, inappropriate, or whatever.   I don't know ourselves when I don't know my parts. I don't know my neighbor when I don't know his or her parts.   Parts can shift abruptly.  They can shift abruptly during sexual intimacy between spouses.  Three roles Exiles --  most sensitive -- these exiles have been exploited, rejected, abandoned in external relationships They have suffered relational traumas or attachment injuries They hold the painful experiences that have been isolated from conscious awareness to protect the person from being overwhelmed with the intensity. They desperately want to be seen and known, to be safe and secure, to be comforted and soothed, to be cared for and loved They want rescue, redemption, healing And in the intensity of their needs and emotions, they threaten to take over and destabilize the person's whole being, the person's whole system And they threaten to harm external relationships Burdens they carry:  Shame, dependency, worthlessness, Fear/Terror, Grief/Loss, Loneliness, Neediness, Pain, lack of meaning or purpose, a sense of being unloved and unlovable, inadequate, abandoned,  Managers These are the proactive protector parts.  They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt.  They work really hard to keep you safe.  controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging,  Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding.   Firefighters When exiles break through and threaten to take over the system, like in Inside Out, remember the parts and the control panel?  So when these exiles are about the break out, the firefighters leap into action.  It's an emergency situation, a crisis, like a fire raging in a house.  No concern for niceties, for propriety, for etiquette, for little details like that.   Firefighter take bold, drastic actions to stifle, numb or distract from the intensity of the exile's experiences.   Intense neediness and grief are overwhelming us!  Emergency actions -- battle stations!   Evasive maneuvers, Arm the torpedoes, Full speed ahead!  No concern for consequences -- don't you get it, we are in a crisis,  All kinds of addictions -- alcohol use, binge eating, shopping, sleeping, dieting, excessive working or exercise, suicidal actions, self-harm, violence, dissociation, distractions, obsessions, compulsions, escapes into fantasy, and raging.   Parts can take over the person   Like in Pixar Movie Inside Out -- anger taking over the control panel of the main character Riley  We call it blending.   Introduction to my Parts  Former Exiles Feisty One (formerly my "angry part")  Adventurer (formerly my "part who holds fear")  Lover Part  Melancholio   Managers Competent Part  Good Boy  Evaluator (formerly "the Critic"   Firefighters Challenger (formerly "the Rebel"  Guardian (formerly "the Intimidator")  Creative Part   Parts in greater detail Feisty One (formerly my "angry part")  Adventurer (formerly my "part who holds fear")  Lover Part  Melancholio  Competent Part  Good Boy  Evaluator (formerly "the Critic"  Challenger (formerly "the Rebel"  Guardian (formerly "the Intimidator")  Creative Part   Elements Personality style  Emotions  Body sensation.   Belief.   Thought  Intentions  Desires  Attitudes  Impulses.  Interpersonal style  World view   My Parts' attitudes about this podcast episode Experiential Exercise -- discovering a part of you.  Caveats. Quiet place.   Closing: Resources:  Website ifs-institute.com    Book:  Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model by Richard Schwartz 2001, Trailheads publications.   Podcast:  The One Inside -- Tammy Sollenberger Next episode all about Looking at IFS through Christian Lens.  Because IFS is open to spirituality, all kinds of variations exist.   Every practice of psychology and every program of human formation depends on Theology, Philosophy, Epistemology and metaphysics -- those compose the underlying anthropology What is anthropology  Mgsr Charles Pope:  Anthropology is, most simply, the science or study of human beings through time and space. Different specialties focus on the analysis of biological/physiological characteristics and the examination of societies/cultures. In the religious sense, anthropology deals with the origin, nature, and destiny of human beings.   Human formation is the lifelong process of natural development, aided by grace, by which a person integrates all aspects of his interior emotional, cognitive, relational, and bodily life, all of his natural faculties in an ordered way, conformed with right reason and natural law so that he is freed from natural impediments to trust God as His beloved child and to embrace God's love.  Then, in return, because he possesses himself, he can love God, neighbor and himself with all of his natural being in an ordered, intimate, personal, and mature way.   Pitch Do your human formation work.   The Fall in the Garden of Eden was devastating to our bodies -- death, pain, physical labor, pain in childbirth  In the same way, it was devasting to our psyches.   Examine your own human formation.  Do your human formation work.  Build that solid natural foundation.  Don't leave that to chance. Serious Catholics have  spiritual plan of life  Also a human formation plan -- your emotional life, your relational life, your thinking, your body issues.   And get some support doing that  Resilient Catholic Community at Souls and Hearts, grew up around my podcast Integration for Catholics -- a place to do that -- registration is open each year in June and December soulsandhearts.com/rcc     The best of psychology, the best of human formation all grounded in what we know to be true by divine revelation.   Parts Description Worksheet 3.0 Go to soulsandhearts.com/rcc -- check out the community.  We are open for the month of June or until our 80 spaces are filled -- discerning.   Members -- Second Wednesday Zoom Meeting -- June 9, 7:30 PM to 8:45 PM -- discussing companions and companies in the relaunched RCC Conversation hours -- 317.567.9594  -- email crisis@soulsandhearts.com 

Intro:   This is it, this is the last episode in our 21 episode series on sexuality , our last episode of 14 in our subseries on sexuality in Catholic marriages, it has been a long run, thank you for being here We are finishing up with our metaphor of the canopied Catholic Marriage Bed And today we'll be discussing the four bedposts, the canopy, and the bedskirt, bedspread and the shams with more examples.   I'm clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.   This podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the Catholic spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being loved and to loving God and neighbor. In this podcast, we confront the tough questions we Catholics have in our day-to-day lives, we confront head on our struggles in the natural realm, the psychological difficulties that keep us from fully loving our Lord and our Lady in a deep, personal, intimate way.  This is episode 70, released on May 31, 2021, entitled Catholic Sex and the Four Pillars -- and the Dos and Don'ts of Sharing about your Sexual Life. Review of the bed Review the bed -- remember this canopied marriage bed represents the sexual life of a married Catholic couple.   The floor -- The Presence of God and His Providence -- everything begins here.  This is the most fundamental piece of the whole metaphor.  We need to be in contact with "I AM" with God who is the source of all reality.  We can't forget that The four legs Leg 1 -- the husband's commitment to his own interior integration and his own human formation  Leg 2.  the wife's commitment to her own interior integration, her own human formation  Leg 3.  Understanding Attachment needs and integrity needs.   Leg 4.  Internal Family Systems  -- Episode 60 --  How well do you really know your spouse?   The frame and the box spring -- the firm, unwavering commitment of the husband his marriage vows and the wife to her marriage vows -- separately.  Independently The mattress  Empathetic attunement -- covered that in episode 65, last episode   Two pillows:  Self-acceptance and Spouse-acceptance -- this is what we are focusing on today.   Pillows support us, comfort us.   Great security with pillows Pam travels with her pillow -- learned this from her friend Cabrina -- comfort in having your own pillow  Comfort in being accepted by someone who knows you.   Bottom Sheet:  sexual attraction, the intensity of sexual passion Top Sheet:  Communication between the spouses The blankets:  human warmth, emotional connection Covering today Four Bedposts -- imagine two spiral intertwined, like the double-helix structure of DNA -- these are the four pillars of Catholic resilience, going all the way back to episode 4 of this podcast   Mindset Heartset Bodyset Soulset Covering today: The canopy and the curtains -- to protect privacy and propriety or to hide dysfunction, exploitation, even abuse.   Covering today:  The sham, the bedspread, and the bedskirt -- Used to cover up the real bed, give an impression of the state of married life to the world.   Bedposts Four Sets Bodyset, Mindset, Heartset and Soulset  Double helix structure -- the husband's strand and the wife's strand interwoven, entwined together like the double-helix structure of DNA rising up overhead, looking down on the bed  Dynamism of Sets -- not static -- our sets shift, they vary as a function of our parts and what is activated and not activated within us in a given moment.  Descriptions review from way back in Episode 4  Bodyset is how our body affects us, how our physical reactions impact us and our dispositions and inclinations.   Mindset is essentially a frame of mind.  Our mindset is the position of our intellect, and how we apply reason to our situation and our experiences.  Heartset is the dispositions or the orientation of our heart, the emotional and intuitive ways of our heart.   Soulset is essentially our attitude of soul.  It is the disposition of our spirit, or how our souls is oriented.  It can operate independently of mindset and heartset.  Our soulset reflects how we see God, and how we see ourselves in relationship with God, how we see God viewing us.  Our soulset very much depends on the virtues we have acquired, especially the virtues of faith, hope and charity.  Our soulset is also very dynamic, it can change rapidly A lot of your human formation is being aware of your own sets -- Bodyset, Mindset, Heartset and Soulset   So much of your empathy for your spouse will involve reading your spouse's sets -- Bodyset, Mindset, Heartset and Soulset Will this legitimate sexual experience be good for your spouse's mind, heart, soul and body, right now, in these circumstances?  Where is she emotionally, relationally with you?  How is she doing physically right now, how is her soul? Paying attention to common, repeated relational patterns or cycles that happen between you and your spouse.  Our parts have very different experiences of sexual intimacy Definition of parts:  Discussed this at length in episodes 60 and 61.  Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  IFS therapist Robert Falconer calls parts "insiders."  Each part also has its own approach to sexuality.   One part may be blended within you  Your spouse may be blended in a part  Parts can switch -- episode 61 Fractured, Fragmented Sex in Catholic Marriages described how parts in a sexual encounter can switch rapidly.   Bodyset is how our body affects us, how our physical reactions impact us and our dispositions and inclinations. We are embodied beings, body and soul composites.  Our physical bodies have a huge impact on us.  So our bodyset is the impact of our bodily states on us.   For example, if we are exhausted from a lack of sleep – that has an impact on us.  Obviously our bodyset is dynamic and can change as well. Understanding bodyset is so important in marriage because the bodies of the husband and wife are so united.   Body has a huge impact on our relating.   The bodies of the husband and wife Genesis 2:21-25   So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man[e] this one was taken.” Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked, and were not ashamed.  Mark 10:6-9  -- these are the words of Jesus  But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.' ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  1 Corinthians 7:4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.   What do I mean by understanding bodyset  Example of a wife Carol feeling "tired" -- what might that mean? Hard day -- physical labor  Illness -- coming down with a cold.  Medical condition.   Psychosomatic expression of distress I am not feeling well emotionally  Firefighting part of the wife that is covering up anger at the husband?   Example of headache -- parts generating a headache.  But not all of the spouse.   Example of the wife's cycles  For some wives, sexual desire is so mediated by hormonal levels -- so body based Parts of the husband can interpret a lack of sexual desire this day as rejection, as evidence of being unloved or unlovable, undesirable -- all that could change in a few days.  Example of Bill from the last episode "I really get turned on when my wife bites me, it helps me to have sex with her, I find I don't have to use Viagra then -- is that ok, or is it better for me to use the Viagra?  I don't want to not be able to have the fullness of sexual intimacy with her…"  Bill's difficulties achieving and maintaining an erection are not purely a medical/physical issue -- he doesn't need the Viagra when his wife bites him.   Something is going on with his bodyset -- what is attractive and arousing about the biting?  It has a meaning to it.   Mindset is essentially a frame of mind.  Our mindset is the position of our intellect, and how we apply reason to our situation and our experiences, including our sexual experiences. Our mindset is dynamic and changes – we can have a very positive outlook at one point in time and a very negative one at another point in time and look at the same set of circumstances.  Our mindset greatly influences not only our thinking but also our behavior.   Example of the tired wife Carol-- difficult day at work, difficult time with the children before her husband Ben comes home from working late.  Ben kisses the kids good night, he's ready for a late supper and maybe some romance, but the wife's mindset is one of Ben, You've left me alone with the kids repeatedly  You don't understanding how much that demands from me   It's not fair that you just get to come home, eat a fine supper that I prepared, kiss the kids and expect that I'm just going to be all into you and your wonderfulness, Ben. At this point, Carol's firefighting part that carries fatigue may lift and the anger in an exiled part may come through, an example of her heartset affecting her mindset  Speaking from her anger, Carol says.  You don't really understand me, or you wouldn't be inviting me to bed like this.  You need to help our more around here or I won't want any more kids, not if I have to raise them and care for them by myself.  No sex for you, Ben  Ben's mindset -- shifting from how wonderful his wife is to his protector parts planning how to defend against her criticisms of him.  Carol, you're being unreasonable. What did I do wrong?  I came home from a long day at work, busting my hump to provide for this family and you lay into me as though it's a bad thing for a husband to be attracted to his wife.   Heartset is the dispositions or the orientation of our heart, the emotional and intuitive ways of our heart.  Heartset is essential our emotional state and the positions we take because of our feelings.  Heartset is even more dynamic and changeable for many people than mindset.  And it very much influences our mindset  Example of the heartset of the husband Ben in our example Ben's anger flaring up -- not fair that you say I don't help -- that's not what Carol said, but in a defensive mindset, Ben hears it that way.  Mindset and heartset working together.   Carol's heart is closed, sees Ben as intrusive, protectors have impulses to attack and withdraw from him into the kitchen out of anger and fear.   Soulset is essentially our attitude of soul.  It is the disposition of our spirit, or how our souls is oriented.  It can operate independently of mindset and heartset.  Our soulset reflects how we see God, and how we see ourselves in relationship with God, how we see God viewing us.  Our soulset very much depends on the virtues we have acquired, especially the virtues of faith, hope and charity.  Our soulset is also very dynamic, it can change rapidly Carol and Ben not seeing each other as children of God.  Not seeing themselves as one flesh.  Not motivated by charity.  Invoking justice and fairness, not authentic agape love.   What would happen if they stopped and prayed their family rosary together, late, just the two of them, after the kids went down.  What if instead of making romantic overtures toward his wife, he volunteered to clean up with her in the kitchen?   Bedspread, Bedskirt, shams  these cover up the bed, give a favorable and even a false impression to the world of what the bed is like, keep the real bed under wraps, as it were. Can also give a false impression to us.   Very natural to us to curate our social image, keeping up appearances  We don't want detraction  But we need to be real.  We need to see what is real about ourselves sexually, about our spouses sexually, and about our sexual intimacy.  Canopy Privacy of the marriage bed and what happens on it  Openness to God   Openness to our own parts  Parts have very different attitudes toward our sexual expression e.g. latent anger -- if not given voice within ourselves, increases likelihood of enactment   Openness to God  In prayer Individually  Together  Sharing with each other what comes of the prayer.  Mutual discernment.   Through others   Openness to trusted, competent others who love us  May as well Luke 8:17 For nothing is hidden that will not be disclosed, nor is anything secret that will not become known and come to light.  Psalm 90:8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your countenance.   Major impediment to this openness and relating within yourself, with your spouse and with God [Drum roll]   Shame Check out episodes 37-49, which are a whole course on shame and overcoming shame.   Diagnostic -- what am I reluctant to reveal?  And why Again, asking our parts inside.   Fear, shame, guilt, -- If so, of what  If you seek you'll find.  Many people never seek  May be very surprising.   What happens in secret will be proclaimed from the rooftops.   Ways to share sexual aspects with others  Respect for spouse Your husband is a beloved son of God; your wife is a beloved daughter of God.   Asking permission to discuss with a particular person Resistance is often within our own parts -- externalized to the spouse.  But have you asked your spouse?   Bringing in parts language for your spouse. She never wants to have sexual intimacy with me vs. a part of her seems to really avoid having sexual intimacy with me.   Not all of my spouse.   How we speak, think influences our attitudes.   Positive frame -- wanting to make things better  Owning your own part of any of the challenges -- beams and specks  Can share frustration, but it should be more than just venting, a spouse bashing session.  But I might take that if it's the only way a person can start sharing anything about a dysfunctional sexual pattern in relationship -- depends on maturity.   No gossiping  Clarity of language -- self-abuse instead of masturbation.  Euphemisms or ways to skirt the reality of an action.    Whatever facilitates communication -- street terms in the formal terms are not understood.   Victorian age -- sense of propriety.   Choosing a professional Marital therapy can be extremely helpful.   Therapist or a life coach or a spiritual director or some other professional role Professionals often have their own sexual issues that impact how they relate with their clients.   Many Catholic professionals may not really hold to what the Church teaches Ignorance  Professional formation   Personal sexual issues that are getting stirred up You can ask.  You can challenge your therapist -- he or she doesn't have to reveal everything to you, not entitled to know all about your therapist's sexual life, but the question can spur your therapist to think.   I am into clients challenging their therapists And therapists rising to the challenges.   Use your judgement, powers of discernment.  Seek and ye shall find.   What about when a husband doesn't want his wife to discuss her experience of sexuality with him with anyone else.  Or if a wife doesn't want her husband to discuss their sex life with any other person?  Then what?  Consider the reasons why Safety, Security   Emotions Fear  Shame  Guilt   Consider what parts of the spouse might be activated by the idea of the sharing  See if the spouse could discuss the reasons for the resistance to sharing.   Spouse may not know Gentleness and kindness here, if you are capable of them Float the possibility of discussing together – marital therapy, for example.   If continued refusal  If your situation is not urgent or abusive, consider waiting Prayer, sacrifice  Revisiting  Consider a hypothetical   If situation is urgent or abusive  Examples domestic violence  harm to children  Gaslighting – psychological manipulation around sex   Talk about it with someone you trust anyway  Spouse has no right to your absolute silence.   Example of confession No right to violate your dignity as a child of God.  The process of problem solving Review of the three parts of the moral act from last episode, Episode 69 -- example of Edward and Vera -- Very has some difficulty with sexual arousal, finds when Edward stimulates her with his fingers, she loosens up, becomes much more responsive, it's easier for her to have vaginal intercourse -- really common situation.  But Edward has noticed that he tends to come to orgasm when his wife does -- that is so exciting for him, and he has had a history of premature ejaculation in the past.  Fumbling around, not able to get inside of Vera in time.   Three Parts of the Moral Act Object = the action or inaction chosen -- the what --  Intention/Motive -- the reason for doing the action or not doing an action  Circumstances - -- situational factors which may affect the morality of an action -- who, what, where, how.   All three of these, the object, the intention, and the circumstances must be evaluated to determine if a moral act is good or evil. All three must be good for an act to be moral.    Analyze the object first, then the intention, then the circumstances Object -- Vaginal intercourse-- would be nice for both to experience orgasm, maybe even at the same time.   Intention/Motive/End  Edward and Vera are open to life, intending to have vaginal intercourse.  Very open to the enhancing the marital bond, connected with each other Circumstances  Bodyset Being really aware of body responses, especially around ejaculation.   Solution may be for him to go a lot slower Or to be already inside her  And to stimulate her while inside her or afterward.   Practicing -- later, not long after the Edward's refractory period ends Refractory period = the recovery phase after orgasm during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have additional orgasms.[   Mindset Openness to ideas, receptivity, solution finding focus vs. an intellectual rigidity, fixed ideas of how things should be and how to get there.     Heartset Can they be playful about this -- have a sense of lightness of humor? - or does there need to be a dark seriousness about it, a deep sense of gravity.   Soulset -- sense of Divine Providence being operative in the sexual intimacy challenges.   Importance of the hierarchy of priorities  1942 essay by C.S. Lewis, “First and Second Things.”  Lewis wrote: “To sacrifice the greater good for the less and then not to get the lesser good after all—that is the surprising folly . . . Every preference of a small good to a great, or a partial good to a total good, involves the loss of the small or partial good for which the sacrifice was made. Apparently the world is made that way. If Esau really got his pottage in return for his birthright, then Esau was a lucky exception. You can't get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first.” Don't want to sacrifice a greater good for a lesser good.  Sexual pleasure -- the lesser good -- procreation and the emotional bond of the spouses are the greater goods.   Matthew 6:33 Seek ye therefore first the kingdom of God, and his justice, and all these things shall be added unto you. If parts are acting autonomously, disconnected from the core self, they always get what they don't want.  Neglect of the two great goods -- seeking pleasure, gratification through more intense orgasms is not the way to sustain relationships. Sometimes that won't happen.   Having sexual intimacy this way is so countercultural, so opposite of the what the world tells us.  WebMD -- 14 reasons you should have sex now  It's exercise  Good for a woman's heart -- decreases risk of heart disease  Sex can help with pain  Lowers stress -- e.g. public speaking (masturbation doesn't count)  Longer life expectancy for women  Slightly greater cognitive capacity for 50+ crowd -- number recall, basic math  Better mood   Bonding to your partner  two guys snuggling More sex, lower weight Better mental health More common-cold fighting antibodies Helps with sleep Greater likelihood of a baby -- more sex primes women for conception and improves sperm quality in men. Better quality of life in old age, health and happiness Edward and Vera are moving toward vaginal intercourse as the focus and center of the sexual intimacy of the spouse Openness to procreation -- this is the procreative act.   Bond of the spouses  In the missionary position, spouses seeing each other, experiencing with each other Vs. being caught up in a self-absorbed experience of orgasm, for example   Jesus very understanding and forgiving of sexual sins  Examples Woman caught in the act of adultery Jn 8-1-11   Pharisees asking whether or not to stone her, trying to trap Jesus.  10 Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” Woman at the well -- John 4, 5 husbands, cohabiting with a man not her husband.   Eating with Sinners, professional mistresses or prostitutes at Matthew the tax collector's house.  MT 9:10 And as he sat at dinner in the house, many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with him and his disciples. Reaching out to sexual outcasts  He saw what goods their parts were seeking in their sexual behaviors Love, care, attention, protection,  Parts separate from the core self always get what they don't want.  He will help you and your spouse, too, if he's invited into this realm.    Loving each other in the sexual intimacy Charity is possible.   1 Cor 13: 4-7 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Pilgrimage  Human formation We all need help  We all need structure  We all need support.   Relaunch discussion.   Excited that our landing page at soulsandhearts.com/rcc is updated and it has the video presentation on the relaunch we did on May 25 now posted.  Check that out, consider prayerfully about joining us, and if your discernment says "yes"  Get on the waiting list --    We have more than 120 on the waiting list so far. Not all of them will join.  We are taking about 80 new members in, we're keeping it manageable -- we don't want to lose the Catholic touch.   Waiting list, first chance, you'll get an email on June 1 with a link to register for the RCC.    By June 4, landing page.   Join with your spouse Conversation hours Tuesday and Thursday starting on  June 3, 8, 10, 15, 17, 22, 24, and 29 -- 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time -- 317.567.9594.   IIC 70A  Latent Emotions Around Sexuality Shame  Guilt  Grief  Fear  Sadness  

Today on Explorations in Psychotherapy, we are welcoming IFS counselor, teacher, and author, Mr. Robert Falconer. Robert earned his undergraduate degree in cultural anthropology, with a focus on the history of religions. In the early 1980s, he pursued his Master's degree in psychology. In his career as a therapist, Robert spent considerable time at the Esalen Institute and decades involved in Gestalt therapy. For 15 years, he was the executive director of the Institute for Trauma-Oriented Psychotherapy. Over the course of his career, Robert has been extensively trained in multiple therapeutic modalities, but he has completely devoted himself to the Internal Family Systems model for the past 10 years, as he has found it to be the most compassionate and potent way to work with severe trauma. At this point in his career, he is increasingly focused on the spiritual dimensions of healing. He has published 6 books, co-edited four, and most recently co-authored a book with Dr. Richard Schwartz, the developer of the IFS model, entitled "Many Minds, One Self: Evidence for a Radical Shift in Paradigm". Today, we will be speaking with Bob about this wonderful book. Robert is teaching a lot now. If you want to study with him go to Bob's website at https://robertfalconer.us  

Episode #23 is live with the Hon. Trevor Holder, Minister of Post-Secondary Education, Training and Labour and Robert Falconer, a researcher at the University of Calgary School of Public Policy – Social Policy and Health Research Division, specializing in immigration and refugee related issues.What's on the It's the Economy, Stupid blog this week? Subscribe and learn!We want to hear your voice! If you want to be featured in our Q&A segment, send a text or audio question to our social or matt@unsettledmedia.com- we'll shout you out by name.  Subscribe to the Unsettled Newsletter.  You'll get multiple posts per week breaking down timeless principles from the world's best minds.  Every post includes tools, product recommendations, strategy lessons, must-watch videos, must-read articles and the best stories from the worlds of culture, business & tech.This podcast is produced by me, Matt George.  Is engineered by the great Zachary Pelletier, and is part of the Unsettled Media Podcast Network.

Robert Arnason of The Western Producer speaks with Robert Falconer, a researcher at the School of Public Policy, University of Calgary, about a recent study looking at temporary foreign workers and domestic Canadians' willingness to work on farms; John Greig, Farmtario editor, discusses Bill 156, newly-passed Ontario legislation to protect […]

With a lack of temporary foreign workers are higher food prices and fewer food choices on the horizon for Canadians? University of Calgary research associate Robert Falconer has released his second report on the role of temporary foreign workers in the Canadian agriculture sector. He said if there was any attempt to manage the food supply without these workers it is a strong possibility. Robert will talk about this latest research project and provide some short- and long-term solutions to this problem. Amanda Radke is a blogger and South Dakota rancher who speaks out on issues that impact the cattle industry. She recently spoke to the virtual Canadian Beef Industry conference about fake meats, environmental and animal rights activists and finding ways to bridge the urban and rural divide. Amanda will share her strategies for connecting with consumers, ignoring the trolls and how ranchers can be a trusted source of information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Roy Green Show Podcast - In recent days we became aware 24% of Albertans are carrying more than $40,000 of non-mortgage debt and 50% are living paycheque to paycheque.  The national numbers concerning financial distress are hardly better. Polling by Ipsos for MNP Ltd., from earlier in 2019, showed that 46% of Canadians are less than $200 away from not being able to pay their debts. That should be a huge concern. Guest: Grant Bazian, President and CEO of MNP Ltd. - Dramatic changes have been made to the U.S. refugee and immigration policy. Canada must prepare itself for the repercussions, according to a new University of Calgary School of Public Policy report.  Immigration expert Robert Falconer has released two reports examining the U.S. retreat from refugee resettlement and the U.S. asylum ban. Guest: Robert Falconer, Author of the reports - Tomorrow's national political party leaders debate and what lies ahead as the parties enter the final two weeks of the campaign. Where can they be aggressive and where must they do damage control? The Beauties and the Beast panel reconvenes to discuss these questions and more. Guests: Catherine Swift, WorkingCanadians.com (former president & CEO at CFIB) Linda Leatherdale, VP of Cambria Canada (former editor MONEY section Toronto Sun) Michelle Simson, Formerr LPM MP & seatmate to Justin Trudeau during Question Period - A report released last year by the Canadian Energy Research Institute (CERI) found that if refineries in central and Atlantic Canada substituted Canadian oil whenever possible for the foreign oil imported into Canada – and if extending the current transportation system by construction of a new pipeline equal to the cancelled Energy East pipeline – the eight refineries in Ontario, Quebec, New Brunswick and Newfoundland would be able to replace 57% of imported oil at an annual saving of $317 million, while simultaneously cutting GHG's by two million tonnes.   Guest:  Allan Fogwill, CEO, CERI -     IPSOS President and CEO Darrell Bricker joins us to speak to two of his books. The Big Shift which speaks to major shifts in Canada's immigration policies and numbers of immigrants and how that reality affects Canada's political landscape (e.g., many of the newcomers are philosophically conservative.) In Empty Planet, Darrell Bricker makes the argument that the global population is headed for a steep decline and in some countries this has already begun, in contrast to much of the climate change panic being centered on a supposedly very rapidly increasing global population. Guest: Darrell Bricker, President and CEO of Ipsos See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.