Ernährung: Der Systemansatz - Abnehmen | Ernährung | Gewohnheiten | #Change The System

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Ernährung: Der Systemansatz - #Change The System ist der Podcast für alle, die Diäten satthaben. In diesem Podcast bekommst Du tiefe Einblicke in die Ernährungspsychologie. Du erfährst, wie Du erfolgreich Dein Essverhalten verstehst und Deine Ernährungsgewohnheiten umstellst. Auf diesem Weg kannst D…

Robert Siegers


    • Jun 10, 2026 LATEST EPISODE
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    Latest episodes from Ernährung: Der Systemansatz - Abnehmen | Ernährung | Gewohnheiten | #Change The System

    Healed Avoidant Explains Why Avoidants Return After Rejecting You

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2026 30:16


    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! Today I explain the #1 reason why avoidants return after rejecting someone.► Links and Resources:When They Realize They Lost You Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4HePymTMI&t=207s► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Why Avoidants Return03:20 2 Minor Reasons for Returning08:10 Avoidant's Ambivalence: Connection or Pulling Away?12:10 The Rebound Phase15:50 No 1 Reason They Return after Rejecting You (The Missing Puzzle Piece)22:20 Building Interdependence25:30 Breaking the Anxious-Avoidant Doom Cycle► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Healed Avoidant Exposes the Neuroscience Behind Why They Pull Away

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2026 17:17


    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! Today I break down the neuroscience behind avoidant attachment patterns.► Links and Resources:Paper Neuroscience of human social interactions and adult attachment style: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/human-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2012.00212/fullPaper Individual Attachment Style Modulates Human Amygdala and Striatum Activation during Social Appraisal: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0002868Paper The neural substrates of social emotion perception and regulation are modulated by adult attachment style: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22217336/ Deactivation Strategies Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k?si=jcZEkDLsrvBeif8hHow I Finally Healed my Avoidant Attachment Video:► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro00:43 In Childhood, Developing Brain Learns Painful Lesson01:30 The Amygdala06:20 The Prefrontal Cortex08:49 The Cortisol System09:30 The Striatum11:15 The Deeper Limbic System12:20 Adulthood13:34 Deactivation Strategies16:00 How To Overcome Avoidant Attachment Patterns► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Actual Avoidant Describes the Moment They Realize They Lost You

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2026 25:53


    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! Today I describe how the moment feels when an avoidant realizes they lost their partner.► Links and Resources:The Neuroscience Behind Avoidant Attachment Video: https://youtu.be/pv5K9dbfp848 Phases of How I Healed my Avoidant Attachment Patterns Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SrSolyrSCQ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction01:10 The Dating Phase02:26 The Deactivation Switch06:30 The Breakup Moment08:50 The Exact Moment of Realization12:18 Emotional Cycle Visualization18:00 Three Avoidant Motivations22:00 Moving Toward Security► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Ex-Avoidant: How I Finally Healed My Avoidant Attachment (and Actually Stayed)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2026 25:33


    ► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! Today I talk in detail about the 8 phases I went through to heal my avoidant attachment patterns.► Links and Resources:Hypervigilance Video: https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI?si=9Ozu57DhbewJs8Ir► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Overview02:40 Phase 105:47 Phase 208:00 Phase 311:13 Phase 414:45 Phase 518:05 Phase 620:58 Phase 723:03 Phase 8► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Healed Avoidant Reveals the #1 Reason Avoidants Pull Away (Deactivating Strategies)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2026 29:41


    ► Build secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (Ad)Welcome to today's episode! ► Links and Resources:Sex, Porn, Affairs Escape Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLyK-Yi1QpE&t=28s&pp=0gcJCQQLAYcqIYzv ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro02:22 When Does The Pull Back Response Show Up?07:45 How Does The Avoidant Attachment Threat-Detection System Work?11:36 De-Activation Strategies That Sabotage Your Love Life21:22 How To Work Through The Deactivation Pattern► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Healed Avoidant Explains the 3 Stages of an Avoidant Coming Back

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2026 29:31


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: https://understandable.net (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:0:00 Overview02:42 Stage 0 - Pre Breakup13:05 Stage 1 - No Contact, but Invisible Connection16:40 Stage 2 - The First Attempts of Re-Connection20:00 Stage 3 - Dating again22:50 Stage 4 - The Decision► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Healed Avoidant Explains Why Avoidants Always Come Back

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2026 18:31


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: https://understandable.net (Ad)Welcome to today's episode!► Links and Resources:My First Love Video: https://youtu.be/9eiwcLrGRxw?si=E14yIArh4l1NDhNt Limerence & Regulation Video: https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA?si=dAFc_v2YENhmq9sF► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction01:35 Pathway 1: Genuine Desire07:46 Pathway 2: Seeking Security12:06 Pathway 3: Inner Confusion16:22 Taking Responsibility and Healing► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    7 Brutally Honest Lessons from a Healed Avoidant

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2026 22:10


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net⁠⁠ (Ad)► Links and Resources:Intuition vs. Trauma Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTxfxZHD4v4&t=54s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ ⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 ⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - 7 Brutally Honest Lessons From A Healed Avoidant00:52 Lesson 1: When You Go Cold, You Don't Lose Feelings, You Deactivate02:42 Lesson 2: In Dating, Healthy Love Will Feel Boring06:00 Lesson 3: Your Partner Usually Isn't Too Much, You're Just Too Overwhelmed08:35 Lesson 4: You Can't Heal Your Avoidant Attachment Wounds Just By Understanding Them11:35 Lesson 5: It's Often Not The Wrong Partner, It's Yor Fear Of Engulfment Giving You The Urge To Escape14:49 Lesson 6: Freedom Isn't Your Highest Value Or Your Truth, You Just Build Your Identity On Your Coping Mechanisms18:44 Lesson 7: You Aren't “Not Made For A Relationship”, You Are Just Afraid What Happens When You Show Your Real Self In Connection► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    The #1 Sign of Avoidant Attachment

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2026 11:02


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: https://understandable.net (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 The Number One Sign00:53 The Initial Dating Phase02:15 When Things Get Real03:51 The Panic Reaction04:51 Roots of the Reaction07:39 Navigating Conflicting Emotions08:32 Overcoming Avoidant Patterns► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    I Built the World's First AI for Avoidant Attachment (Live Demo)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2026 20:58


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: https://understandable.net (Ad)► Links and Resources:I Replaced My Therapist With an AI Video: https://youtu.be/JRo6PgSiB3w?si=L4ya20bGY8lEIPLo► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro01:38 Why I Built This AI03:52 Benefits of AI Reflection07:42 Privacy and Data Security10:23 AI vs. Professional Therapy12:44 Live AI Demonstration19:48 How You Can Access It► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    No Contact WON'T Save Your Relationship (Here's What Will)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2026 21:19


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: ⁠https://understandable.net⁠ (Ad)► Links and Resources:Avoidant vs. Anxious Attachment Video: https://youtu.be/NyPH_lMp8yYAttachment Quiz: https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - No Contact Won't Save Your Relationship00:42 What Is The No Contact Rule?01:47 Goals Of The No Contact Rule4:44 Can “No Contact” Work?06:18 The Problem With No Contact10:18 3 Better Techniques For Anxious-Avoidant Couples, That Can Actually Save Your Relationship► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    How To Know If You Should Commit

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2026 13:31


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: https://understandable.net (Ad)► Links and Resources:Limerence & Projecting Fantasies Video: https://youtu.be/LZ-IFevq90o?si=eaXGVlJdTCD6XV4VHow To Overcome Avoidant Attachment Patterns: https://youtu.be/FQO-63UO7yI?si=C3Q6OGEBTl1dfWl_► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction00:35 The Power of Self-Reflection01:57 The Avoidant Attachment Trap04:45 Identifying the Source of Anxiety05:18 Understanding Attachment with AI09:01 Untangling Fear and Incompatibility10:48 Moving Toward Secure Attachment► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    5 Subtle Behaviors That Keep Killing Good Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2026 16:13


    ► First Ever Avoidant Attachment AI: https://understandable.net (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Overview02:00 Subtle Behavior 104:15 Subtle Behavior 206:05 Subtle Behavior 309:30 Subtle Behavior 412:05 Subtle Behavior 5► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Avoidant vs. Anxious Attachment: 10 Key Differences Explained Simply

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2026 27:51


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠► Links and Resources:Attachment Insecurity & Emotional Regulation Difficulties: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38898361/Avoidant Attachment & Addictions Video:https://youtu.be/zLyK-Yi1QpEStonewalling Video:How to resolve conflict Video:https://youtu.be/PxiDnxXC2p8Hypervigilance Video:https://youtu.be/Mhoa6_53StI► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - Avoidant Attachment Vs. Anxious Attachment01:51 Difference 1: Core Fear04:00 Difference 2: Core Belief05:55 Difference 3: Strategies09:07: Difference 4: Personal Agencies10:07: Difference 5: Dealing With Conflict13:41 Difference 6: Co-Regulation15:44 Difference 7: Understanding/Misunderstanding Each Other18:22 Difference 8: Asking For Help19:47 Difference 9: Being Asked For Help21:10 Difference 10: Spending Time Alone22:17 The Overlap► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    5 Signs You're Avoidant, Not Just Independent

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2026 18:01


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)► Links and Resources:Why We Isolate And Avoid People Video: https://youtu.be/PP9dvNWZ8p4?si=j2QKK0T7tLIIEGU-► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction00:55 Sign 103:54 Sign 206:00 Sign 307:45 Sign 411:56 Sign 517:05 Healing and Conclusion► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    People Who Won't Put Their Loved Ones as Their Phone Background Are...

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2026 12:39


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction00:49 The Reddit Perspective02:30 Avoidant Attachment Origins06:09 Relationship Triggers07:01 The Wallpaper Connection10:29 Self-Reflection11:45 Healing and Conclusion► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Why Asking for Help Feels So Hard, You'd Rather Suffer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2026 20:42


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - Having Hard Time With Giving And Receiving Help10:04 Receiving Help11:58 Giving Help► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    To Anyone Who's "Too Sensitive"

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2026 11:39


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Brutally Honest Truth About Why You Lose Feelings in Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2026 15:53


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)► Links and Resources:Why You Have No Clue What You Feel and Need Video: https://youtu.be/YoerBrHSdUI?si=CtujMHbajSrNEtz7► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction01:32 Understanding Avoidant Attachment03:23 The Nervous System's Brake07:15 Core Fears Explained11:03 Changing the Pattern12:51 Identifying Needs and Emotions16:16 Staying Connected► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Can Avoidant Attachment Be Cured?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2026 15:01


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)► Links and Resources:15 Treatments Video: https://youtu.be/UaslCkvMpws?si=xk7uf3H-opgJwGkC► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction: Can Attachment Change00:54 Attachment vs Personality Disorders03:55 Roots of Avoidant Behavior05:16 Repressed Emotions and Needs07:46 The First Step: Awareness11:17 Unlearning Avoidant Patterns14:54 Resources for Further Healing► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Avoidant Attachment & Addictions: The Dark Link No One Talks About

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2026 21:59


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠► Links and Resources:Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style Video: https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8?si=_CC-9RPCfJgjpCJ7 Toxic Shame Video: https://youtu.be/ELUfIk0lzxU?si=xSxoVH6I4QUPFDYQ Avoidant Attachment, Interest in Alternatives, and Infidelity Paper: https://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/documents/InPress_DeWallLambertSlotterDeckmanPondFinkelLuchiesFincham_JPSP.pdf Attachment Insecurity and Infidelity in Marriage Paper: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3648986/ Sexual compulsion Paper: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4394850/ Attachment Insecurity & Problematic Porn Use Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38898361/ ADHD, Attachment Difficulties & Porn Use Paper: https://cris.tau.ac.il/en/publications/the-contribution-of-adhd-and-attachment-difficulties-to-online-po/ Attachment and substance use disorders Review Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16210236/ Child sexual abuse and subsequent psychopathology Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11344883/ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Why Noone Talks About This01:17 Coping Strategies of Avoidants03:01 Why Do Avoidants Fall For Addictions or Excessive Behaviors?07:13 Studies on Avoidant Attachment & Addictions15:21 Sex, Porn, Affairs: 5 Reasons Why It's the Ideal Escape► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    To Anyone Who's Afraid of Love

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2026 7:11


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)To Anyone Who's Afraid of Love, Commitment and Intimacy...► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    Why Your Feelings DIE the Moment Things Get Serious

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2026 12:53


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction01:12 Why Feelings Go Numb02:34 The Role of Attachment09:04 Do You Still Love Them?10:57 Breaking the Cycle12:48 Communicating Needs and Emotions16:24 Conclusion and Resources► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E335 - Why Saying No Feels Almost IMPOSSIBLE for You

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2026 20:51


    ► Free Avoidant Attachment Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Build Secure Love Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 "I Feel Guilty When Setting Boundaries"01:20 Boundaries05:38 The Roots of Guilt11:53 Shame and Responsibility13:35 Overcoming Boundary Guilt17:35 Building Safety► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E334 - From Avoidant to Secure Love Is Easy After You Learn This

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2026 27:37


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro00:24 Avoiding Relationships Became A Recurring Pattern In Your Life03:59 You Dream Of A Calm, Harmonious Relationship06:00 If You Can Relate, You Are Not Alone09:50 3 Levels To Re-Learn If You Want To Go From Avoidant To Secure Love10:06 Level 1: Your Copings Became Your Identity, Without You Realizing It14:47 Level 2: You're Not Living Free, You're Constantly Self-Soothing17:05: Level 3: You're Not Independent, Support Just Never Was An Available Option20:57 How To Get From Avoidant To More Secure Attachment► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E333 - Why You Have No Clue What You Feel or Need

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2026 26:25


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro00:17 In Relationships You're Confused About Your Feelings02:30 In Relationships You're Unclear About Your Needs06:21 Where Does The Inner Conflict Come From?10:27 Was Your Childhood Like This?14:53 Why Relationship Needs Still Are A Mystery For You As An Adult18:09 How To Know What You Feel And Need In Your Relationship?22:15 What You Need To Feel Good And Free When You're A Single Person► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    332 - 7 Things Only Avoidant People Do But Never Talk About

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2026 24:59


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)Links & Resources: Using Fantasies to Regulate Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozIbtcDmNVADissociation Video: https://youtu.be/UZsTUS_jlYg?si=D0MvB_gDQaLCPPgM ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro01:18 Thing 1: Before A Relationship: They Dream Of “The Perfect Partner”. But Don't Actually Want To Meet Them.05:02 Thing 2: In The Dating Phase: They Focus on Weaknesses, But Want To See The Strengths08:20 Thing 3: In The Beginning Of The Relationship: They Judge Other People, But Actually Want Harmony12:09 Thing 4: During The Relationship: They Overplay “Weak” Emotions, But Only Bond Through “Positive” Ones14:59 Thing 5: During The Relationship: They Appear Inattentive or “Off”, But Actually Just Want Safety19:15 Thing 6: In The End of The Relationship: Not Selfish, But Want Connection21:59 Thing 7: After The Breakup: They Feel Incredibly Deliberated, But Soon After Miss Their Ex► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E331 - Why Going From Alone to a Relationship Makes You Panic

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2026 28:52


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro00:11 Top Level Experience 02:50 Inside Relationship Experience08:34 You're Not Broken Or Wrong10:44 You're Not With The Wrong Partner12:05 What Is The Real Reason For Your Panic?12:20 What Happens In The Moment Of The Switch?13:48 Tension Curve Of Your Nervous System19:54 Why Is Your Nervous System Reacting Like This?22:34 Will I Ever Be Able To Have A Secure Relationship Without Panic?► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E330 - 10 Trauma Behaviors That Secretly Ruin Your Relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2026 37:13


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ (Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠ ⁠(Ad)Links & Resources: 10 Signs of Complex PTSD: https://youtu.be/rc4NqZQV5hA?si=wSuXmBqKgsOCukBi Reddit Stonewalling: https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/1hw6a4a/a_cool_guide_on_stonewalling_and_how_to_deal_with/Dissociation: https://growththruchange.com/blog/why-dissociation-happens-and-steps-toward-healing/ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro02:05 Weakness Zoom (Deactivating Strategies)06:18 Isolation/Avoidance11:22 People Pleasing15:40 Anger/Rage19:08 Stonewalling22:26 Emotional Numbing27:28 Withholding Affirmations29:30 Romanticizing The Past31:54 Hyper-Independence34:40 Privacy As A Shield► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E329 - Commitment Fears or The Wrong Person: 5 Signs You're Just Afraid to Commit

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2026 24:57


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠ (Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠ (Ad)Links & Resources: Why You're So Sensitive To Criticism: https://youtu.be/e8FKISPF__0?si=FP2qWIwIUzUp79CQTrauma Bond: https://youtu.be/J70RwIER2BQ?si=5JMBZGVwgKUW1gY- ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro02:11 What Is Fear of Commitment Again?04:24 Sign 1: You Have Unrealistic, Not High Just Standards08:31 Sign 2: You Focus On Their Flaws, Instead Of Their Good Sides12:01 Sign 3: Doubts And Insecurities Appear, When Everything Goes Well16:44 Sign 4: There Is Conflict, But Not “War”19:45 Sign 5: You Sabotage The Relationship, But Not Because Of Incompatibility► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E328 - 5 Habits to Stop Letting Other People's Mood Control You

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2026 29:01


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Access My Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)Here are 5 Habits To Stop Letting Other People's Mood Control You. No Fluff, just practical habits that strengthen your boundaries.Why The Smallest Criticism Breaks You Episode: https://youtu.be/e8FKISPF__0?si=rLYl-PuiMEVV4K_u► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro02:56 Why Other People's Mood Control You10:36 Habit 1: Pause Before You React13:50 Habit 2: Walk With a Better Posture17:07 Habit 3: Having a Routine20:16 Habit 4: Do More, of What You Need24:10 Habit 5: Reconnect With Your Own State► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E327 - How to Stop Sabotaging Healthy Love

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2026 22:21


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠► Links and Resources:Why You Don't Feel Seen Video: ⁠https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=BWVNopJCfPlRKFuI⁠Resolve Conflict With Compassion Video: ⁠https://youtu.be/xDgdKnCC1HM?si=-33iPJdOqOsvRgax ⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - How To Stop Sabotaging Healthy Love And Relationships00:03 Step 1: Be Aware That You're Sabotaging02:37 Step 2: Understand The Pattern And It's Purpose05:25 Step 3: Catch Yourself When The Pattern Is Triggered07:21 Step 4: Pause: Stop Reacting08:36 Step 5: Ground Yourself (Create Safety)11:14 Step 6: Communicate Honestly And Openly (Practise Vulnerability)14:06 Step 7: Address, What You Actually Need Or Want16:21 Step 8: Practice Self-care & Compassion For Yourself18:17 Step 9: Build Self-Worth20:06 Step 10: Replace Relationship Sabotage With Self-Leadership► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E326 - Why We Sabotage Great Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2026 19:11


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠► Links and Resources:Why You Don't Feel Seen Video: https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=BWVNopJCfPlRKFuIResolve Conflict With Compassion Video: https://youtu.be/xDgdKnCC1HM?si=-33iPJdOqOsvRgax ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Why We Sabotage Great Relationships?02:56 What Is Triggering The Pattern?05:42 Why Relationships Feel Like a Loss of Control?11:58 Why Is It So Hard To Stop Sabotaging Love?15:49 Is There a Better Way Instead of Sabotaging Love?► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E325 - The Ultimate Guide To Get Over Avoidant Attachment

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2026 40:47


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)In the past decade, I ended 5 long term relationships because of my commitment issues.When I met my current partner, I decided to break this pattern.In this video, I share everything I've learned on my journey of getting over avoidant attachment.I'll take you through the 7 stages every avoidant goes through and give you some new perspectives to ponder on.If you follow along through all the steps, I'm nearly 100% sure you will leave this video with a huge aha and a ton of practical ideas how to start healing your avoidant attachment patterns.► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠► Links and Resources:Limerence and Romantic Fantasies:https://youtu.be/ozIbtcDmNVA?si=_eJeTGlwFcBBCBaLYou're Not Your Emotions: https://youtu.be/67QybhTEUMM?si=NLaxhT9KjecfupoC ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro 00:51 What Avoidant Attachment Feels Like03:59 How Secure Attachment Feels Like07:45 Stage 1: Avoidant Beliefs and Values12:37 Stage 2: Deep Desire for Conflict Free Love15:26 Stage 3: Dating and Limerence21:39 Stage 4: The Shift25:58 Stage 5: Pulling Back32:06 Stage 6: The Breakup39:39 Stage 7: Recover and Reset► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E324 - The #1 Reason You Push People Away (Even If You Want Love)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2026 24:04


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)Why do you always push away the people you love?Especially when things get close and serious?If you clicked on this video, there are probably two possibilities why you're here:1) You are currently dating someone or are in a relationship that asks for more commitment, and you started to push the other person that you really like away.2) You know someone, maybe your friend, brother, sister, or the person you're dating, who is suddenly turning cold and pulling away.Either way, it's very honest and brave of you, that you care and want to figure out, why the reactions happen.You don't just judge yourself or the other person, and want to look for support and real answers.The reason why you or the person you love pushed someone away is in both scenarios definitely the same.And in this episode, we first of all answer the question, what's the main reason for this.But more importantly, afterwards we'll also explore if there is an actual solution for thisAnd if so, how you can practically stop to push away the people you love to finally be in a stable, secure relationship.► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro 01:22 #1 Reason You Push Away The People You Love07:17 You're Not Broken10:16 How Can You Stop Pushing Away the People You Love?11:16 Step 1: Strengthen Your Sense Of Self16:20 Step 2: Practice to Sense and Express Your Emotions, Needs, and Boundaries21:30 Step 3: Learn to Stay In Relationships Without Losing Yourself► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    7 Habits That Saved My Anxious-Avoidant Relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2026 22:08


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)For most of my life, I deeply longed for a warm, stable, loving relationship.But instead of feeling safe and connected, I was constantly triggered in my relationships.First being needy in the beginning, then panicking when things got too close.In fact, I broke up five times, leaving behind a lot of heartbreak.And I didn't understand back then that I wasn't “just needing space.”I was avoidantly attached and scared of commitment.But after working with four different therapists…after years of uncomfortable self-work…Today, I finally live together with my current partner, and I feel like I've arrived in a safe relationship where I don't want to run away anymore for the first time in my life.And if I could move from attachment wounds… to building real emotional safety…Then I want to show you exactly how.► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro 01:16 Habit 1: Make Emotions And Needs Visible05:26 Habit 2: Stop Trying To Fix Each Other07:53 Habit 3: Name Patterns In Real Time10:38: Habit 4: Listen And Pause During Conflict14:02 Habit 5: Practice Vulnerability Instead Of Protest16:34 Habit 6: Stay True to Yourself, Even If It Feels Wrong19:42 Habit 7: Prioritize Love Over Perfection► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E322 - Why You're So Sensitive To Criticism: 5 Reasons No One Talks About

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2026 10:39


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)Why does criticism hurt so much?I bet you know situations like these: You're having dinner with the person you love.Everything seems great, but then they say: "You didn't ask me how my day was. It felt like you don't care."A solid statement, that kicked you out of you calm mind.In your ears that sounded like an accusation. Even worse, like a judgement.You feel criticized, at the same time hurt and offended.Your thoughts start spiraling.Why didn't you ask, idiot?Why did you FAIL this one.You feel ashamed.Anxiety kicks in. What if they now think I don't love them, because I forgot to ask?But then your inner guard raises it's voice:You heat up and feel irritated.Why do they even expect me to ask how their day was? Mine was exhausting and I just forgot to ask.. Why do they always expect things from me? It's unfair.When you can identify with this example, first of all, I'm not here to expose you.If you react like this, it's totally understandable, because there are good reasons for it.Therefore today, in this video, I'm going to share 5 surprising reasons, why the smallest comment or criticism completely breaks you.► Links and Resources:Self-Care Habits for HSPs / Neurodivergents: https://youtu.be/LdWEM_ZTZYM?si=15FaXVGsEMXC4hyp10 Signs of CPTSD: https://youtu.be/nH6mOBoqCsc?si=lQiDt7xNmbtjpfpD ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro 01:23 Reason 1: You're Overwhelmed From Work And Life 02:46 Reason 2: Emotional Burnout04:19 Reason 3: You're Highly Sensitive /Neurodivergent05:31 Reason 4: Childhood Trauma07:32 Reason 5: Unstable Sense of Self► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E321 - Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2026 15:20


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)Why does the person you love the most also trigger you the most?‘Shouldn't love with this person be easy?'Well, I'll give you the answer straight away: It's not a coincidence. It's how love actually works.Your partner isn't there just to make you happy, they're in your life to mirror your insecurities and vulnerable parts and make you grow through them. But knowing that, reveals the true underlying question: What's below these painful triggers?What do they reveal about us?And how can we grow through them so we don't feel so angry, hurt, upset and ashamed anymore?► Links and Resources:Signs of an HSP: https://youtu.be/DPrgxLzFnxI?si=NsuitgFJiHkZkgo9The Highly Sensitive Man: https://youtu.be/8LbQhAVXE3U?si=oJ43rcTt0k5W_nyq ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro 00:58 Why The Person You Love Triggers You Most02:48 What's Below These Painful Triggers?03:03 1. High Sensitivity05:39 2. Painful Patterns From The Past10:46 3. Insecurities & Vulnerabilities12:59 How Can We Grow Through Our Triggers► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E320 - 11 Love Lessons I Wish I'd Learned Before I Broke Up

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2026 33:19


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠⁠ (Ad)Over the past 13 years, I ended five long-term relationships — all from my side.But did these relationships really have to end like that? Or did I push myself — and the people I loved — into unnecessary suffering and heartbreak?If you're watching this right now, you might be in a similar place. Being in a relationship that feels overwhelming or Exhausting, asking yourself the same question: Could this relationship be saved… if I just understood the right things?In this video, I'm sharing 11 things I deeply wish I had known about love and relationships before I walked away five times. And this isn't about telling you to stay or to leave. It's about helping you pause — and see more clearly — before making a decision you can't easily undo.If you're on the edge right now, this video might change how you see your relationship.► Links and Resources:You Can't Change Them Video: https://youtu.be/JUu4MkLvrK4?si=v_LlvgwYC6DfTuSIStop Conflict in Your Relationship: https://youtu.be/dF2QYyxqJjM?si=-AbNzIXXBP85O91e ⁠► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠⁠ ⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro 01:37 Lesson 1: You're Not Struggling Because “You Didn't Meet The Perfect Partner Yet”04:36 Lesson 2: Trying To Change Your Partner Is Already Part of The Problem07:10 Lesson 3: Chemistry & Hobbies Won't Save Your Relationship09:43 Lesson 4: You Can't “Win” A Fight11:39 Lesson 5: A Challenging Partner Is A Good Partner15:52 Lesson 6: Your Relationship Pain Is Trying To Tell You Something19:37 Lesson 7: Most Relationships Don't End Because “They're Broken”21:56 Lesson 8: It's Often Not Your Partner, It's Your Patterns25:17 Lesson 9: But What If Your Values Were Built on Emotional Survival?28:45 Lesson 10: Unconditional Love Isn't How Adult Relationships Work30:43 Lesson 11: Why You Will Choose The Wrong Person► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E319 - Why Your Partner Can't Read Your Mind (But You Think They Should)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2026 9:18


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: ⁠https://understandable.net/masterclass ⁠(Ad)► Access My Premium Course: ⁠https://understandable.net/course/⁠ (Ad)Do you sometimes feel disappointed because your partner doesn't just know how you feel?You expect them to sense your mood, your needs, or what's wrong, but without you saying a word. But when they don't, it hurts… and creates pressure on both sides.In this episode, we talk about why empathy is not mind-reading, how this expectation silently damages relationships, and what actually helps partners understand each other better.► Links and Resources:Why You Don't Feel Seen Episode https://youtu.be/6g6IiIwnPWA?si=dzP-tm70BkvJGPLV ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ ⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - The Invisible Test02:08 Silent Expectations05:58 Solutions: From Being Guessed To Being Known► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E318 - Why You Keep Ruining Great Relationships (And Don't See It)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2026 26:03


    ► Free Relationship Masterclass: https://understandable.net/masterclass (Ad)► Access My Premium Course: https://understandable.net/course/ (Ad)Why do you keep ruining great relationships?Every. Single. Time.The problem is not that you can't find good people.It's that every time a relationship starts to feel good… something goes wrong.You want a stable, long-term relationship.But instead you find yourself in heartbreak, frustration and anger about yourself.And the most confusing part is this:it's not the toxic relationships that fall apart.It's the ones that actually had potential, where you felt: this time, it's different!► Links and Resources:Conflict Resolution Video: https://youtu.be/PxiDnxXC2p8?si=g69xLC_ZXLgVRo4rAvoidant Attachment Style Video:https://youtu.be/V5Nn_XOHFX8Relationship Anxiety Video: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY?si=gNSR9w1DpkVv7QTgHow I Overcame My Commitment Issues Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUECZtfGkEMTrauma Bond Video: https://youtu.be/J70RwIER2BQ?si=-Qxp_lwNVYMD9sgo► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro01:19 Why You Keep Ruining Great Relationships03:11 1. You're Not Ready for a Real Relationship Yet11:05 2. Closeness Feels Like a Trap (Avoidant Attachment)16:19 3. Your Anxiety Runs the Relationship (Anxious Attachment)20:51 4. Pain Was Your First Language of Connection► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E317 - Why This Attraction Feels Right — But Will Hurt You

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2026 7:15


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)Attraction is a beautiful thing. We all desire it.We all want to feel pulled toward someone.Attraction is often what brings people together in the first place.It gives relationships energy.Yet, there are moments, where attraction suddenly becomes… dangerous.Maybe you're already in a relationship.Maybe you've built a life with someone toxic.And yet there is this pull toward a person you'd be better off not being attracted to.► Links and Resources:Limerence Video: https://youtu.be/cZ344b-d7DA?si=zE93uPeP9YjIRcSWAnxious Attachment Video: https://youtu.be/rXscvYntSpY?si=vTxyvwzQS-xfYEXZ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Sirens and Sailors02:20 Why We're Hearing The Call05:00 Solution: How To Not Fall For The Temptation06:10 Final Thoughts► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E316 - Why Small Fights Feel Like Big Breakups

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2026 11:51


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)Sometimes, there's a wild dragon in our mind.It makes our head turn small problems into something that feels threatening. Creating a big disaster and making our thoughts catastrophizing. The dragon can awaken at any time.When we get triggered — by our partner, our boss, or even by ourselves — our calm state gets hijacked.And suddenly, it feels like a fire-breathing dragon takes over our thoughts.It twists how we see things.It exaggerates danger.And if we're not careful, we don't just have the dragon in our mind — we become it.We say things we don't mean.We assume the worst.We hurt other people — and ourselves — often without even realizing it.► Links and Resources:Negativity Bias Article: https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/negativity-bias ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 The Inner Dragon04:25 Why The Dragon Exists07:50 How To Tame The Dragon10:46 Final Thoughts► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E314 - To Anyone Who's Exhausted By Relationships / Why Your Relationships Feel So Exhausting

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2026 16:30


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠https://understandable.net/⁠ (Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠ (Ad)Why do intimate relationships always feel so emotionally overwhelming?I've been wondering about that question ever since I started dating.Somehow, relationships always felt more difficult for me than they seemed to be for other people.Not for everyone, but there is definitely a group of people who doesn't understand my specific challenges with it.► Links and Resources:Regulation in Isolation Episode: https://youtu.be/PP9dvNWZ8p4?si=dCqQr20jMrTEE2RKYou Can't Change Them Episode: https://youtu.be/JUu4MkLvrK4?si=AfBjjLIw7nAj8CDbSense of Self Article: https://www.healthline.com/health/sense-of-selfThe Four Points of Balance: https://jamesmchristensen.com/blog/david-schnarchs-four-points-of-balance ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ Amazon Music: ⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - Relationships Feel Emotionally OverwhelmingRelationships Feel Emotionally Overwhelming03:39 Why Your Relationships Feel Emotionally Overwhelming10:05 How To Feel Less Emotionally Overwhelmed In Relationships11:19 The Four Points Of Balance► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E313 - To Anyone Who Feels Emotionally Overwhelmed

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2026 7:03


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠(Ad)Emotions are just states that constantly change. No emotional state stays forever. Also emotions are survivable. This is what my therapist always said. You are not the emotions, which are the clouds, you are the sky that's always there, no matter which emotion arises.► Links and Resources:Polyvagal Theory Video:https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro - Inside the Emotional Storm01:43 Why Is The Emotional Storm So Powerful?03:59 Calming The Storm► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E312 - Why Avoidants Shut Down (It's Not You)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2026 24:51


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to today's episode, where we talk about why avoidant partners stonewall,what you can do if you feel you don't feel heard and seen for the thousand's time because they always go coldAnd on the flipside, what avoidants can do if they find themselves constantly stonewalling during vulnerable conversions.► Links and Resources:Avoidant Attachment Style Video:https://youtu.be/4vs3gDlmS18Emotional Dysregulation Video: https://youtu.be/Q0iGqa7y6BAHow to Resolve Relationship Conflict Like a Secure Person: https://youtu.be/PxiDnxXC2p8 Stonewalling Examples Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/1hw6a4a/a_cool_guide_on_stonewalling_and_how_to_deal_with/ The 4 Horsemen by Dr. John Gottman: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/ Stonewalling, Grey Rocking & Narcissism: https://sherrygaba.com/navigating-relationships-with-narcissists-stonewalling-vs-gray-rocking/ Adult survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx ⁠⁠► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro00:47 What Is Stonewalling?03:21 Why Stonewalling Hurts Our Relationship05:06 Stonewalling Vs. Grey Rocking07:48 Stonewalling And Avoidant Attachment09:28 The Stonewalling Cycle13:55 Stonewalling And The Nervous System16:30 The Hidden Psychology Behind Stonewalling18:48 How To Deal With Stonewalling Like A Secure Person► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E311 - 7 “Misunderstood” Red Flags That Secretly Save Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2026 17:05


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: https://understandable.net/ (Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: https://understandable.net/book/ (Ad)Some of the things you call red flags might actually be the healthiest signs you've ever seen.If you grew up in a difficult environment where these following greenflags were not familiar or even dangerous, that's not surprising.Because when chaos was normal, when you got hurt, safety can feel wrong.Calm feels boring. Consistency suspicious. And closeness can feel dangerous.► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 7 Dating Red Flags, That Are Actually Green00:33 1. They Don't Always Respond Right Away02:40 2. They're Not Very Active on Social Media04:12 3. They Have Close Friends of the Opposite Sex05:59 4. They Value Their Own Space and Independence07:50 5. They Say What They Think Directly09:48 6. They're Genuine, Not Constantly Charismatic11:38 7. They Don't Always Make You Feel Comfortable13:37 From Red To Green16:00 Final Thoughts► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :) ► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E310 - 7 “Toxic” Green Flags That Can Secretly Ruin Your Relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 4, 2026 33:47


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠(Ad)Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to today's episode, where we talk about 7 Trauma-Driven Green Flags, That Are Actually RedYou might think you've found the one — they're kind, attentive, emotionally open… But what if those ‘green flags' are actually coming from unresolved trauma?Therefore today, I'll walk you through 7 behaviors that look like emotional maturity or even love but are secretly warning signs rooted in anxious attachment, fawning, codependency, or toxic shame.If you're someone healing from CPTSD, this might just change how you see "healthy" relationships forever.► Links and Resources:The Secret To STOP Fighting in Your Relationships: https://youtu.be/dF2QYyxqJjMSpiritual Bypassing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_bypass ⁠► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro01:11 Flag 1: They Always Want To Be With You05:46 Flag 2: They Never Get Mad At You12:10 Flag 3: They Open Up About Everything On The First Date16:42 Flag 4: They Always Put You First19:00 Flag 5: They See You As Their Entire World21:39 Flag 6: They Communicate So Well During Conflict, But Nothing Ever Changes25:22 Flag 7: They're Obsessed With “Healing” ► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E309 - CPTSD & Dating: How To Find a Secure Partner

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2025 39:40


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)In this video, I explore attachment styles, how to identify a secure partner, and the dynamics of trauma bonding.► Links and Resources:Fear of Commitment Video: https://youtu.be/SUECZtfGkEM?si=mKymbK-Sh2jeFVD1Chaotic Attachment Video: https://youtu.be/-BFW7lVd8Yk?si=asZKMwEpWoPtradmTrauma Bonding Article: https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/trauma-bonding/ ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro01:13 Dating With CPTSD10:09 Dating With An Avoidant Attachment Style13:40 Dating With An Anxious Attachment Style16:17 Dating With A Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style18:43 Trauma Bondings In CPTSD Dating21:19 Why Secure Love Feels Boring24:05 Dating with a Secure Attachment Style27:01 How To Find a Secure Partner27:30 Step 1: Start To Reclaim Your Own Sense Of Self First30:15 Step 2: Continuously Shed A Light And Question Your Triggers31:39 Step 3: Start To Become A More Securely Attached Person Yourself34:08 Step 4: Date Like A Secure Person Would► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E308 - Limerence: 5 Ways To End Romantic Obsession

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2025 27:28


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)There is a way to crush you pink glasses for someone now.But let me warn you up front: This way is not good advice, neither will it end your romantic obsession problems long term.Still, it works if you want to stop intrusive thought about someone instantly.The solution is: Get more options!Get another or even better - more surfaces for your projections of your fantasies aka limerent objects► Links and Resources:Limerence While in a Relationship: https://youtu.be/UOZLmQkBFMMChatGPT as Therapist Video: https://youtu.be/JRo6PgSiB3w?si=jX8TGEKH1q0LSFE_Detachment & Letting Go Video: https://youtu.be/WUJu3dVIUZ0?si=WhQ51parSClkzTSD► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro02:18 Way 5: Truly Want (Decide) To Move On07:50 Way 4: Use AI-Tools As A Neutral Mirror13:58 Way 3: Accept What It Means To Be Over Your L.O.16:11: Way 2: Understand What Your Inner Child Truly Needs (And Never Got)19:30 Way 1: Be Prepared To Sit On A 3-Legged Chair (Get A Life)20:56 Pillars Of Stability/Leg 1: Health22:02 Leg 2: Wealth/Work22:42 Leg 3: Social Life24:00 Leg 4: Options25:13 Leg 5: Self-Worth► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

    E307 - Limerence While in a Relationship: Why It Happens & What to Do

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2025 18:27


    ► Start Our Premium Course Trial: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/⁠⁠ ⁠(Ad)► Download the Free Workbook full of Re-Regulation Resources & Writing techniques: ⁠⁠⁠https://understandable.net/book/⁠⁠⁠ (Ad)You might believe that being in a happy marriage or relationship makes you immune to limerence.But still, I've read the following story about limerence while in a relationship in one or another version hundreds of times online.► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠⁠ ⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠ ⁠⁠Amazon Music: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠⁠ ⁠⁠► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro00:21 Limerence While In A Relationship03:37 The Perspective Of The Partner05:42 Why Was She Risking Her Marriage?08:17 How Limerence Forms While In A Relationship13:31 What To Do?► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I create videos about childhood trauma & attachment theory. My content aims to help you transform trauma-driven reactions that block you, so you can embrace a life full of happiness, safe & loving relationships, and self-confidence. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

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