The Saga of the European King

The King has known and loved Axe Axewound for years, ever since they met on an adventure in Spain and deposed his evil brother. But actions have consequences and oaths aren't just for declaring, and although there is never a good time to initiate a difficult conversation even the best of friends have to have them sometimes. Also the King's son is stolen by bandits. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards, with a special appearance by Peter Marinker. Joshua Crisp played Axe Axewound, Colonel Glowfist, GoGoGorilla, Father Figaro, Erik Rage-Eater! and Ba'al. Amy Sutton played the Ex-Queen, Sally Minefield, Prince Prince, Sofia Cólera, Pineycone and Saint Francis.  Tom McNally did the narration and played the King Peter Marinker played The President of the United States of America -- MUSIC Theme tune and musical stings composed by Nicolai RoosMedieval Battle theme composed by John Bartmann Narration music was generated by Computoser -- SFX FREESOUND BRAWL IN THE CANDOLIAS490083__gaelanw__190155-walkingonglass 543015__leon23323328kiwn__footsteps-in-puddle-owi 506817__bplayers__door-open-close-with-bell 474870__dsote__standing-on-broken-glass 543707__200221-weanbekker__walking-on-glass-in-open-hall 511786__tatianafeudal__walking-on-debris 483046__kevp888__190815-0568-sp-festamajor 441833__jjdg__workout-machine-arms 261380__jaklocke__empty-glass-bottle-tips-over 111058__prettynice68__pipe-leak 544098__cheney777__goons-falling-on-glass 459366__guran89__open-and-close-door 545579__tosha73__flushing-the-toilet-hq-001 545494__ienba__tin-metal-can 544094__cheney777__breaking-a-glass 542929__mrthomas2000__glass-pieces 542062__alexmurphy53__walking-on-concrete-floor 533809__jsrosero__moneda 533777__keatonmarek__dropping-single-coin-on-floor-5 533768__keatonmarek__coin-splash 524276__garuda1982__bicycle-braking-on-dirt-road-or-gravel-recorded-with-sony-pcm-d100 511785__tatianafeudal__walking-on-debris-2 GET THE PRINCE TO SAFETY 546825__td6d__box-cardboard-drop-fall-hit-movement-kick 408568__miguelab1998__4-springs-0190951__sandyrb__spring-08 523400__cyoung510__rain-with-thunder short 519573__dynamicalgorhythm__central-texas-spring-hard-rain-mild-thunder-rolls short 165346__tayswiftie13__dirt-bike-noises 148868__martian__motorbike-crm-250-cc-onboard-ride-pullaway CALL TO ARMS 476585__relenzo2__person-sliding-on-carpet-01 352990__aesqe__demolition-2016-08-01 396813__jedo__house-demolition 382642__bbrocer__bag-of-flour-dropped-on-counter-top 508546__wdomino__bridge-collapse-01 505965__jedg__object-slide-on-table 529244__bolkmar__fx-earthquake 507861__nickh69__cocktail-making 543773__walthamstow-walker__sparrows-fluttering-wings-in-bush FIELD BIVOUAC  81453__payigt__bar-with-music 504626__leonelmail__body-fall-v-hvy-dirt 495405__gropkcor__crockery-shaker-01a-x3 272390__danhelbling__stumble-and-fall EMOTIONAL CONFRONTATION 535047__patchytherat__applestab-1 328102__rylandbrooks__paraglider-taking-off 328101__rylandbrooks__paragliding-gopro-audio-01 138981__huggy13ear__tarp-flapping 378636__13fpanska-kolar-jan__fire-stick-shake554577__1888software__rain-on-canvas-awning 554041__szegvari__secret-temple-storm 546288__tosha73__gas-lighter-hq 553512__djnomore__tropical-rain-w-thunder 491848__alirabiei__paper-in-wind   FREETOUSESOUNDS Scary Room Tone Sounds Abandoned Military - 10   MADE BY US 535364__microtubule__melon-beating

The King and his strike team take a break from the invasion to have a sauna, some fudge and a discussion about the inevitable fate of statism. They encounter a person from the King's past and he has an anxiety attack while a dastardly plan that will change everything is revealed. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards, with a special appearance by Peter Marinker. Joshua Crisp played Ba'al and GoGoGorilla,  Amy Sutton played Saint Francis and the Ex-Queen Tom McNally did the narration and played the King Peter Marinker played The President of the United States of America -- MUSIC Theme tune and musical stings composed by Nicolai Roos Narration music was generated by Computoser -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   RELAXING SAUNA 361383__tonalt__sauna-hiss-loyly 250238__tja65__wooden-bench-in-sauna-cracking 250239__tja65__wooden-bench-in-sauna-cracking-2 384180__xiiisamples__sauna 21064__elonen__creaky-sauna-door 148334__tbhicba__bench-creak-3   NATIONAL MALL 404910__brainclaim__dark-shepard-tone-3 332116__rambler52__rain-storm 344735__cabled-mess__horror-tone 322952__npeo__the-chamber.wav 143088__satanicupsman__3-minutes-of-falling-rain 239939__geronimogeronimo__rain-falling-on-a-metal-roof-96-khz-24-bit 414298__schulmancreative__astronomer-fireplace-ambi 521118__smand__wood-burning-in-the-stove 483323__craigsmith__r30-09-fires-burns-wood-and-metal-crackling 361401__richwise__distant-thunder 536902__cognito-perceptu__thunder-sharp-crack-approaching 533196__justinamolsch__thunder-crash 483288__craigsmith__r29-26-molotov-cocktails-through-windows-and-explode 474778__csnmedia__subbomb 259970__brazenfoley__inside-a-windy-chimney-90sec-01   THE OVAL OFFICE 276068-flies-fighting by department64 276068-single-fly by memuse 476585__relenzo2__person-sliding-on-carpet 17369__homejrande__earth-demolition-hammer 450793__kyles__door-wood-hits-impacts-small-break-through-clumsy-metal-thing-dall 180959__psionicgames__stretch01  

The King's invasion of Washington D.C. begins with a thousand sickly snaps as he uses all his strength and cunning to barrel through all resistance. Now that he has two gods, a saint and a gorilla on his side can anything stop him?   -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played Ba'al, GoGoGorilla, Waukheon and the Chief of the Capitol Police Amy Sutton played Saint Francis and Nanook Tom McNally did the narration and played the King   -- MUSIC Theme tune and musical stings composed by Nicolai Roos   Narration music was Gloom Runs To A Road (computer-generated track #6955) generated by Computoser   -- SFX   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   VOLLEY OF GUNFIRE 382638__kristinhamby__distant-police-cars-edited 527319__cloud-canvas__high-speed-police-chase-on-a-noisy-freeway 509718__barcelonetasonora__20200315-police 505357__triad330670__int 515556__audioenabled__gunshot 518181__bolkmar__fx-gunshot 121557__sbarncar__firecrackers 56586__syna-max__firecracker-2-guns   ANIMAL FRIENDS 450801__kyles__gym-bag-zip-unzip-open-close-quickly-and-handling 458372__detamine__bag-04 186553__jazzvoon__emptying-snack-bag 351113__msantoro11__deer-meewing-01 342105__bmccoy2__squirrel-chatter-4-3-2016-lincoln-nebraska 103415__confusion-music__pig-1-c 94926__higginsdj__magpie-sqwarks-24-96-stereo 208031__mewsel__chihuahua-whines 532235__shaunhillyard__frog-croaking-uk-common-frog 51060__joan-barnett__stag-recording-final-for-freesound 463789__shyguy014__mouse-squeaks 362127__andrewjonesfoto__vixen-calling 348514__quetzalcontla__rabbit-03 348513__quetzalcontla__rabbit-1 182509__swiftoid__lamb-and-mother 504923__fiezewarthog__robin-calling 442904__qubodup__pig-squeak 424463__nicstage__birdwingflap 404687__straget__hooded-crow 402808__robertmthomas__czech-bohemia-deer-close 276085__rsn267__stray-dog 266689__edufigg__baby-lamb-calling-his-mother 122261__echobones__angry-squirrel1   SPLASHES 376198__alancat__splashes1v 444018__lurpsis__splash-4 329041__kev-durr__water-splash 372518__dawidwmika__lake-swimming 54959__northern-rebel__splash-loop 532888__bricklover__water-splash-1 532887__bricklover__water-splash-2 532886__bricklover__water-splash-3 516718__dani7337__carlos-r-swimming-in-the-pool 429353__carolinagg__11-chapoteo2 406087__yin-yang-jake007__water-splash 404829__nilbul__water-splash 364700__alegemaate__water-splash 321490__dslrguide__tiny-splash 269251__blukotek__splash-water 250317__kanalgas__water-splash 190085__tran5ient__splash9   POTOMAC RIVER 530099__artemis-r-swann__river 46388__raeben__010508-potomac-river-on-a-rock-01 370975__waweee__birds-on-a-river   THE STORM 361401__richwise__distant-thunder 533196__justinamolsch__thunder-crash 414298__schulmancreative__astronomer-fireplace-ambi 513250__nickmaymusic__spring-distant-thunderstorm-suburban-birds-wind-single-rumble-medium 502523__simon-spiers__stormy-winds-through-the-trees 319566__soojay__distant-storm-04 239493__lonemonk__rain-sharp-clap-and-rolling-thunder 160911__marth8880__distant-thunder-02   GOGOGORILLA'S SPECIAL SHOES 90951__sandyrb__spring-07 408568__miguelab1998__4-springs   POWER OF THE GODS 95822__pixelmasseuse__atlas3q-1fm-16bit 391551__2create__movement 414698__the-very-real-horst__11-17a2-nacl-natrium-563-06-hz-chloride-173-62-208-57-hz-bina-diff-schumann-7-83 FIGHTS AND MISC 533766__keatonmarek__dropping-coins-into-hand-2 528033__sidequesting__door-meet-apple 523230__magnuswaker__hard-swing-1 190796__jiserte__xut1   SFX used here that are made by us and on Freesound  533440__microtubule__bell-pepper-squeezing.wav 533433__microtubule__carrots-snapping.wav 533432__microtubule__celery-twisting.wav   This episode also included several sounds of birdcalls from the Macaulay Library ML185037951 Tundra Swan (Bewick's) by (Ai) Tao Liu from Macaulay Library ML185037021 Tundra swan (Bewick's) by (Ai) Tao Liu from Macaulay Library ML203914121 Tundra swan (Bewick's) by Josep del Hoyo from Macaulay Library

The pilot episode of our new flash-fiction podcast where a handful of writers create an original story with a limited wordcount in a limited amount of time. This episode gives us 'Tooth' by Paul Fisher Davies, 'Ecstasy' by Claudia Treacher, 'Untitled' by Joshua Crisp, 'Capitalism' by Paul McNally and 'Amazon Cinematic Universe Episode One: Alexa Origins' by Tom McNally. Nominate your favourite story for an award - either Truth, Beauty, Freedom or Love on Red Button Audio's twitter or by mailing us on 100words at redbuttonaudio.org Created by Tom McNally, featuring Paul Fisher Davies, Claudia Treacher, Joshua Crisp and Paul McNally Transcript and first drafts are available here. Theme tune is Music For Jellyfish by Bell Lungs. The prompt was also by Bell Lungs, an excerpt from Wolves Behind Us. Story music was generated by Computoser.

You don't just go and face the President of the United States of America without loading up on American-themed powers first. The King needs whatever treats Nanook the polar bear is handing out to help him in the revolution while his ex-wife assembles her own players to counter him. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played Ba'al, GoGoGorilla, Waukheon and Moqwaio Amy Sutton played the Ex-Queen, Sofia Cólera, Saint Francis and Nanook Tom McNally did the narration and played the King and Chuckwalla -- MUSIC Theme tune and musical stings composed by Nicolai Roos   Sample of Throat Singing (1) - Amuma by Eligah Mangitak, Qaunnaq Mikigak and Qabaroak Qats From JVC World Sounds - Songs of the Inuit Narration music was Gloom Runs To A Road (computer-generated track #6955) generated by Computoser -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following: PENTAGON 413439__vortichez__santa-clara-thunderstorm-party 442647__thehirahira__clock-tick-1 456207__richwise__empty-office-room-tone 454167__kyles__room-tone-office-hallway-small-bassy-wider   HOTEL MARRIOTT   152434__dayvonjersen__lobby1 505572__stephane-carreau__hotel-lobby-hall-reception-conversations-footsteps 171004__el-mar__20121112-tu-delft-library-ground-level-ambience-close-to-information-desk-voices 412928__ccc140024324__ambient-hotel-lobby 149269__organicmanpl__ding-2 151360__ngruber__rollerskating-indoors 94787__jbates18__footsteps   GATHERING OF THE NORTH AMERICAN GODS: 95822__pixelmasseuse__atlas3q-1fm-16bit 391551__2create__movement 414698__the-very-real-horst__11-17a2-nacl-natrium-563-06-hz-chloride-173-62-208-57-hz-bina-diff-schumann-7-83 -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

After years apart, the scattered Adventure Friends are reunited on the lawn of the White Roost during the King's fight with the President of the United States. Hugs are exchanged, old scores are measured and Will Smith sees an opportunity. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, Erik Rage-Eater!, Will Smith, Little Louie, GoGoGorilla, Colonel Glowfist and Ba'al Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Astrid Gimmerleck, The Angel Cowgirl, Prince Prince, Pineycone and Saint Francis Tom McNally did the narration and played the King and Chuckwalla   -- MUSIC Theme tune and musical stings composed by Nicolai Roos   -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   SMITH CARAVAN 131578__bertrof__travelling-on-a-tram 133099__allh__steam-train-interior 189973__meffyellis__brood-ii-cicadas-near-macon-powhatan-co-va 398279__gabytoledosci__cicadas-in-the-afternoon 216570__qubodup__snow-footsteps-running 95841__cmusounddesign__rg-window 216750__castironcarousel__window-rapping 158648__nlm__running-on-pebble-beach 170107__rackhamsreverse__running   ANGEL COWGIRL 428272__leoctiurs__63-sip-of-coffee 118187__bmcken__key-jingling   ERIK'S BED 386246__ldezem__pneumatic-cutter-desoutter-ts144-start-4 59317__vibe-crc__metal-clank   PINEYCONE 125940__juskiddink__beating-wings.wav   NATIONAL MALL 404910__brainclaim__dark-shepard-tone-3 332116__rambler52__rain-storm 344735__cabled-mess__horror-tone 322952__npeo__the-chamber.wav 143088__satanicupsman__3-minutes-of-falling-rain 239939__geronimogeronimo__rain-falling-on-a-metal-roof-96-khz-24-bit 414298__schulmancreative__astronomer-fireplace-ambi   WHITE ROOST EXPLOSION 508546__wdomino__bridge-collapse 457531__breviceps__dinosaur-falls-to-the-ground 495269__kinoton__demolition-building-side 487127__craigsmith__r01-01-long-sustained-wood-crash   IMPACTS 351724__scotthopkins__whooshsfx-1 454221__kyles__thud-impact-wrestling-ring-heavy-wrestler-fall-on-mat-breath-exhale 203039__jjhouse4__dropping-body-on-hard-ground 369885__splicesound__hand-body-impact-on-tile-porcelain-bathroom-sink   PARABOLA OF WIND 328101__rylandbrooks__paragliding-gopro-audio 169913__mydo1__skydive   Included a clip from 'The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet' 1949-01-02 Knitting Contest, available on archive.org and Internet Bird Collection Joe Klaiber Hockerschwan_Flugelschlag -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

It is October 2018. What is going on with The Saga of the European King? Quite a bit, actually. Let us sit down with two pots of tea and a bottle of Pepsi Max and tell you what we've made, what we haven't and what is to come. This includes the merits of GMing trial sequences in roleplaying games, the true nature of BBC4 presenters and the difficulties of digging a trench. With Tom McNally, Amy Sutton and Joshua Crisp. Music by Nicolai Roos. Find The Saga of the European King on iTunes, Bandcamp, Stitcher, Podchaser, SoundCloud, Libsyn or RSS. The video of our live show is in two parts here and here on YouTube. Tom's Chewbacca game is up on Philome here. Find the audio dramas made by the children at St Mark's Primary here and here. Find The Other 1% on iTunes, Stitcher, AudioBoom or RSS. Press release for Phileas Fogg's World of Adventure.  

As part of our live show last year we also held an audio drama workshop for kids aged 9 - 11. It was part of the Brighton Digital Festival and hosted by ONCA. Here's a clip of what we got up to. We're looking to put together another round of workshops soon. Thanks to Amy Sutton and Joshua Crisp for running the show and Beth Gibson for filming.   Music is 'The Happy Monster' by Chubby Jackson and his Orchestra, available from archive.org here: archive.org/details/78_the-happ…-bauer_gbia0005336b

On the 6th of October 2017 we performed the very first live episode of The Saga of the European King to an audience at O N C A gallery in Brighton. It was part of the Brighton Digital Festival and funded by Arts Council England. The episode we put on was the finale of Book 2 which ties up most of the plotlines of the last year. The Adventure Team is reunited on the lawn of the White Roost and the King's plan to conquer the United States of America comes to a head. Music by Nicolai Roos, John Bartmann and Mano Camatsos. A huge thank you to everyone who came, Josh and Amy as ever, Claudia Treacher who was drafted in as technician at the last minute, Lydia Heath of O N C A, Laurence Hill and Melissa Ray of the Brighton Digital Festival, Ed Babb for filming and Patricia Finnegan for all the love and support. Special thanks to Alex Beattie for the cover photo.

On the 6th of October 2017 we performed the very first live episode of The Saga of the European King to an audience at O N C A gallery in Brighton. It was part of the Brighton Digital Festival and funded by Arts Council England. The episode we put on was the finale of Book 2 which ties up most of the plotlines of the last year. The Adventure Team is reunited on the lawn of the White Roost and the King's plan to conquer the United States of America comes to a head. Music by Nicolai Roos, John Bartmann and Mano Camatsos. A huge thank you to everyone who came, Josh and Amy as ever, Claudia Treacher who was drafted in as technician at the last minute, Lydia Heath of O N C A, Laurence Hill and Melissa Ray of the Brighton Digital Festival, Ed Babb for filming and Patricia Finnegan for all the love and support. Special thanks to Alex Beattie for the cover photo.

The King and GoGoGorilla are travelling across the United States of America, spreading sedition and living off the land. The King is back in his element but GoGoGorilla is worried that a detective from the big city has no place in the untamed wilderness but perhaps America has some mysterious of its own to hand out.   -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY:   Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played GoGoGorilla Tom McNally did the narration and played the King and Chuckwalla   -- MUSIC   Theme tune music and interstitials composed by Nicolai Roos The spooky music and GoGoGorilla's theme was composed by John Bartmann at lavidalocal.bandcamp.com   -- SFX   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   ON THE RUN IN THE JUNGLE playing-in-the-branches by redder01 rustle-jacket-aggressive-2 by jaredpass24 getting-out-of-bed by LOTWstudios 02612-clay-hits by robinhood76 pocket-flask by murhemursu fabric-movement-wool by yuval bag-of-chainmail-chunks by kermite607   cenote-at-ek-balam-yucatan-mexico by pulseczar42 howler-monkey-on-yucatan-peninsula by bmmcoy2 yucatan-jungle by folkart-films cantaloupe-punch-and-mush by natemarler banana-squelches by Project-trident   TAMPICO rain-drops-and-crickets-in-the-beautiful-state-of-veracruz-mexico by spacedrum2001 shoreline-waves-seagulls by mannhawks   LEDGE OF EMOTIONS 30-footsteps-ertaale by lukeirl dmp-009007-silence-desert by martypinso thunderstorm-24-05-2009 by earthverses cranes by delaneyh page-flip-in-notebook by 150134 skin-pat-2 by martian   ORB AT THE CAMPFIRE buffalos-in-the-tall-grass-prairie-in-oklahoma-growling-grunts by felix-blume crackling-and-popping-night-time-fire by natemarier buffalo by __o scifi-ether-c by realtheremin rj-evp-1 by southlandghosthunter pencil-writing-close-a by inspectorj flipping-through-notebook by sportygurl37   SILENT CAMPFIRE dmp-009007-silence-desert by martypinso one-cricket-louder by sunsinger foley-footsteps-desert-boots-sand by pan14 footsteps-in-sand by kessir   WOLF CHASE 00274-walking-through-tall-grass-1 by robinhood76 Walking-through-grass by vgraham1 Zion-night-crickets by foosiemac Br-frogs-dogs-utah-2009 by flemur   FIGHT THE BIGFOOT By-a-small-fire by kukensius Petit-feu-little-fire-3 by glaneur de sons Standing-up-from-the-floor by caitlin-100 Wood-knocking by altfuture Jump-landing-in-snow02 by mallement Snow Footsteps Running by Iwan Gabrovitch under CC-BY 3.0 License Fall-on-the-floor-v by evinawer Clothing-shirtsandpants-rustling by duckduckpony Clothes-into-rucksack-and-zip-up-002 by uwesoundboiz    

Terrorthaw has made a career out of creating inventive ways to show that the King's rule of Europe is flawed. Until now he's never quite had a chance to so completely undo it, but since discovering the location of a working time machine he knows he has to move quickly. Can he dismantle his evil empire, gather the right equipment and assemble a competent crew before the King finds out what he's up to? And how do you dispose of a room full of henchmen without a whole automated death wheel stadium arena?   -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY: Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Amy Sutton played Sar-Or Joshua Crisp played Malamutate and Ant-Tenor Tom McNally did the narration and played Terrorthaw Ben Edwards was Cutty.   -- MUSIC   Theme tune and musical stings composed by Nicolai Roos Terrorthaw's theme was composed by John Bartmann    -- SFX   PM_SFE_RCLEAN_04 by Phil Michalski from his Sci-Fi Elements pack http://www.philmichalski.com/sci-fi-mechanics-mini/   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   EVIL HOLIDAY CAMP martkirche-halle by hinzebeat before-event by buginthesys parking-garage-general-ambiance-roomtone by hazmattt coughing-in-church-01-130525-13 by klankbeeld hum-of-voices-loud-zulu by petercornell indoor-adult-murmur-small-group by splicesound leaving-movie-theatre-in-the-evening by inalchemy disappoint-and-happily-surprised-creature by thaxis360 boo-5-only-a-couple-people by jayfrosting door-walking-exit by adrozipp man-walking-away-indoors-with-leathery-shoes by bulbastre toilet-flushing-button by magedu clothing-movement-jacket by mlsulli fast-dressing-and-undressing-jacket by sound-ims   MALAMUTATE dog-on-stairs by eneasz suitcase-down-5 by toefur dog-whining-and-jumping-on-glass by monkey pants dog-walking-on-laminate-2 by iccleste   BIBLIOTHEQUE DE LAEKEN railstationempty-- by dkustic omni-ambiental-library2 by mivori earphone-telephone-line-timber by jeicob22 quiet-office-library-area-ambiance by shanaygroen chemistry-table-crash by castironcarousel books-falling by theshaggyfreak foley-book-fall-impact by cjosephwalker sh-woman-running-carpet-to-hard-floor by shall555   MYSTERIOUS COLLECTION clunky-switch by stevenbrown open-wardrobe-2 by toefur 40-equip by rewired unloadcd by omar alvardo track(4) by omega9   SPACESHIP ASSEMBLY car_bonnet by zabuhailo ratchet-screwdriver by theshaggyfreak countrysidesummerevening by pcaeldries la_cambre by pcaeldries ste-030 by meltymcface page_sounds by mrradtastic IN ORBIT engine-vibrations-of-ferry-1 by ivolipa submarine-diesel-engine-002 by cydon submarine by jmorrisoncafe330 blood-pressure by unclesigmund air-spray by starinatwalls -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

The King has broken the most important, fundamental rule in European Law and is not fit to be a King or even a man any more. But what is a man? And a woman - you've heard of those. How is a woman involved in what a man is? Can a woman get a man out of a bad feeling when he is feeling bad? The King won't grapple these tough questions alone in the rainforest canopy - everybody's favourite crime-solving gorilla is on his tail and no question is too tough for him.   -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY: Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards. Joshua Crisp played GoGoGorilla and Erik Rage-Eater! Amy Sutton played nobody in this episode apparently about women Tom McNally did the narration and played The King, Mechanicus and General Magnificent Ben Edwards was Cutty. -- MUSIC   Theme tune and musical stings composed by Nicolai Roos GoGoGorilla's theme was composed by John Bartmann    -- SFX   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   MASK TEMPLE h000-haunted-mine by tec-studios cellar-atmo-large-building-01 by claudius jaguar-creek-belize by rtb45 coat-foley-coat-hits by trngle 23-slaps by btherad2000 drumming-fingers by rach-capache   KITCHEN kitchen-roomtone by fedefrede kitchen-ambiance by hourofmidnight kitchen-drain by kodack kitchen-refrigerator-working by mdsn footsteps-down-stairs by geordisound   ERIK RAGE-EATER! door-inspb-045 by vflefevre pneumatic-cutter-desoutter-ts144-start-1 by ldezem pneumatic-cutter-desoutter-ts144-start-4 by ldezem   HAUNTED SWORDS metallic-coathook by prodepha   JUNGLE at_the_tree by omar-alvarado breaking-branch by ceberation treepluck2 by tran5ient -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Saint Francis and Ba'al Hadad are fugitives on the run from the Devil and his master, The King of Europe. They have travelled across the North Pole and through Canada to find the United States of America and all the crimes they have there. How long can they lead their exciting new life on the wide-open country before their past catches up with them? And would they do if they were offered a flattering new job? -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY:   Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp and Tom McNally. Joshua Crisp played Ba'al and Waukheon Amy Sutton played Saint Francis and the Officer of the Law Tom McNally did the narration and played The King   -- MUSIC   Theme tune music and interstitials composed by Nicolai Roos Frankie & Ba'al was composed by John Bartmann   -- SFX   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   DAKOTA prairie-winter-wind-ambient-natural-recording by westbywest prairie-dogs-from-bad-lands-south-dakota by bansemer mesicprarie2 by taterdunnetater rural-back-yard-whitehill-nova-scotia-april-21-2010 by wildear1 gravel by squashy555   ANIMAL FRIENDS baby-lamb-calling-his-mother2 by edufigg 20100910-deer-rut by dobroide rabbit-2 by quetzalcontla tawny-owl-female by sean-townsend hungry-guinea-pigs-1 by owl 01161-boar-oink-3 by robinhood76 elk-3 by hyperionn   STUDIO AUDIENCE crowd-cheer by adam-n applause-2 by jayfrosting applause-1 by jayfrosting cheer-2 by jayfrosting   BALLOON RIDE basket-creak by sheepfilms storm-wind by juskiddink rain-storm by rambler52 ambi-village-across-valley-dessert-birds-dogs-saw-binaural-stereo-recording-dpa4060-nagra-sd-2012-01-10-apache-reservation-arizona by jaap-sijben-gmail-com wind3 by eliasheuninck 01-21-footsteps-wood-barefoot-jumps-scuffs by splicesound bird-flying-away by flashdeejay   HAPPY HUNTING GROUNDS pawnee by vumseplutten1709 rainbow by kerri distant-thunder by thalamus lab southern-utah-summer-thunderstorm by bretberger seagulls-flock by cell31 sound productions dragon-wing-flap by dombanks airplane-atmos by stebbi30000-gmail-com   STRATEGY MEETING distant-storm-3 by soojay coconino-forest by mffm camp-fire-1 by mick-gibbs   THE PLAN pouring-wine by bfedri1 cannonball-off-dock-splashing-swimming by splicesound bow-river-winter by lwdickens -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

In the Arctic, Mechanicus and General Magnificent complete their very first time jump together to find their castle as rubble, the future uncertain and one other unpleasant surprise that you ought to know about.   -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY:   Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp and Tom McNally.   Amy Sutton wasn't in this one Joshua Crisp played Father Figaro Tom McNally did the narration, played The King, General Magnificent, Mechanicus and Terrorthaw so it was a busy chapter for him.   -- MUSIC   Theme tune music and musical stings composed by Nicolai Roos Terrorthaw's sting - Dark Synth composed by John Bartmann    -- SFX   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   CHILLINOUS PLAINS Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1 wind3 by eliasheuninck svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo svalbard-recherche-glacier-20060904 by jeo Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab saas-fee-wald-gletschersee-100609 by lg 011-vogels by steadybas TERRORTHAW'S DESCENT 20081221-grey-heron by dobroide bernat-pescaire by listenaround dragon-wings by vedas   SMITH EXPEDITION CARRIAGE steam-train-interior-01 by allh   -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Will Smith uses his vast wealth and power to launch a manhunt for the King. Seeing as the King left his friends in such a bad mood it is only a matter of time before he attracted attention. Meanwhile in the halls of power that attention may have landed in the land place that the King would want it. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY: Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp and Tom McNally with special guest star Peter Markiner.   Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Astrid Gimmerleck and the Ex-Queen. Joshua Crisp played Will Smith, Jay, Father Figaro, Axe Axewound and Erik Rage-Eater! Tom McNally did the narration and played The King. Peter Marinker played the President of the United States.   -- MUSIC Theme tune music and interstitials composed by Nicolai Roos 'Brazilian beach party' composed by audiactiva from freesound.org   -- SFX   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following: TREK TO WILL SMITH'S OFFICE white-sands-footsteps by cheeseheadburger pensacola-beach-water by dcsimon south-beach-soundscape-1 by walzerd   WILL SMITH'S OFFICE hornsey-warehouse-ambience by hoptenon middlesex-ave-warehouse by stereoscenic dropforge by glynisq danskanaal-ritme by aifoon   JUNGLE OUTSIDE MASK TEMPLE muddy-and-wet-footsteps by theneedle-tv footsteps-mud-grass by jonccox muddy by jakeh111 howler-monkey-jungle-2 by itsmrjack jaguar-creek-belize by rtb45 hip-hop-drum-loop-80bmp by karolist record-scratches by filmsndfx   THE SOUL OF GARTH MINEFIELD breathy-ooohhh by alienxxx metallic-coathook by prodepha   DINING HALL OF THE MASK TEMPLE hiphop-loop-01-95-bpm by yewbic dutch-restaurant-ambience by hz37 brazilian-family-restaurant by suprasummun 20081231-fire-02 by dobroide dining-hall-ambiance-2 by miksmusic dinginghall by samkolber   THE OVAL OFFICE flies-fighting by department64 single-fly by memuse 010508-potomac-river-on-a-rock by raeben -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

The King has been defeated in battle by an ancient, evil friend of his dad's and now to make things EVEN WORSE he has to sit through dinner with him. Can he find solace and distraction by eating a plate of human hearts and then tearing up the dance floor? What if we said that those human hearts were chock full of psychoactive substances? -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY: Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp and Tom McNally   Amy Sutton played Astrid Gimmerleck and the Vikinca Chef. Joshua Crisp played Axe Axewound, Erik Rage-Eater! and GoGoGorilla. Tom McNally did the narration and played The King. -- MUSIC Theme tune music and interstitials composed by Nicolai Roos Echobell by Gleichtakt-Voith from the Echobell EP available on archive.org TestDepth Mix by DJ Jon Hussey is available on archive.org Techno Viking is from the LP Ward by Lgor and is also available on archive.org -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   DINING HALL OF THE MASK TEMPLE hiphop-loop-01-95-bpm by yewbic dutch-restaurant-ambience by hz37 brazilian-family-restaurant by suprasummun splashes-splats by reitanna d-hard by nicstage a-soft by nicstage a-hard by nicstage eating-juicy-meat by productionnow vikings-in-battle-swords-crossing-shields-bashing-men-yelling by deadvdi crowd-applause-3 by xtrgamr slurp-owi by miekyj chair-scrapes by soundmary wooden-chair-move by harrietniamh   DISHES dishes-01 by sagetyrtle kitched-dishes-sink-fussing by jessepash fork-onto-table by squareal laying-table-for-dish by robinhood76 audience-leaving-concert-hall by arnaud-coutancier   FREAKING OUT trembling by thalamus-lab filtered-pulse by alexbird highvoltagedrone by nicstage   THE KITCHENS cookingpasta by agona cooking-02 by aesqe kitchen-refrigerator-working by mdsn stacking-plates-01 by glitchedtones -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Colonel Glowfist is in trouble. He has blasted himself into the wetlands of Florida and is beset by monsters and the doubt of his comrades. Fortunately he has the Prince to keep him company while he trudges across the East Coast of the United States looking for the King. Can the Colonel and the Prince harness the mysterious power of cigarettes to defeat this new land and keep the saltiness of Sofia Cólera at bay? -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY: Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp and Tom McNally   Amy Sutton played Prince Prince, Pineycone, Sofia Cólera and Joanna Cólera Joshua Crisp played Colonel Glowfist and Little Louie Tom McNally did the narration and played The King and the Alligator King. -- MUSIC Theme tune music composed by Nicolai Roos Cólera theme composed by Beth Gibson -- SFX alligator bellow by the US Fish and Wildlife Service available from https://www.fws.gov/video/sound.htm Recording of Choctaw church service from the Lomax collection (T5215_91_cho) available from archive.org   Other sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   FLORIDA WETLANDS walloffrogs by cccanary 1f-1m-gatorsbellowingcalusanaturecenter by astronomica bird-in-cage-wings by rudmer-rotteveel zoom0048 by ejames zoom0049 by ejames insect-noise-at-ft-matanzas by phb256 frogs-in-alliagtor-creek-at-4am by bansemer st-marks-nwr-boat-tailed-grackle by nokasoma cardboard-burning-1 by raremess   SMOKING CEREMONY birds-chirping by bansemer vn520042 hippie lyllabye by rivv3t   GEORGIA sounds-recorded-in-decatur-georgia by microdac serenbe-spring-fields-ambiance by dcsimon country-ambiance-01 by dcsimon   NORTH CAROLINA crickets-grasshoppers-birds by editor-adp birds-woodpecker-in-flat-rock-jun06 by bansemer boo-5-only-a-couple-people by jayfrosting crowd-boo by adam-n   STANDOFF the-chamber by npeo rain-storm by rambler52 swansflyby by acclivity   -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Until recently, Sally Minefield lived inside a gigantic dugong but her colleague killed it in some sort of multidimensional magical curbstomping. Now she has washed up on Miami Beach and needs to grasp the several cultural differences that exist between her native Medieval Europe and the United States of America. Fortunately Will Smith is there to help her get up to speed. Meanwhile Ba'al the thunder god and Saint Francis the wild man are having trouble catching a wily goose.   -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp and Tom McNally   Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Miamian, The Angel Cowgirl and Saint Francis Joshua Crisp played Will Smith, Jay, Father Figaro and Ba'al Tom McNally did the narration and played The King.   -- MUSIC Theme tune music composed by Nicolai Roos 'Will Smith's theme' composed by John Bartmann 'Casanova Beach Club PRE-PARTY SUMMER 2010' by XaviPinos available on archive.org   -- SFX Pebble beach near Palaiokastrite Greece by radio aproree available from archive.org   Other sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   MIAMI BEACH footsteps-dirt-02 by aglinder horse-gallop-and-stop-in-dirt-01 by n-audioman   FLAPJACK'S FUNERAL crowd-cheering by soundsexciting 01-21-footsteps-tile-slippers-medium-pace by splicesound   CHILLINOUS PLAINS Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1 wind3 by eliasheuninck svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab waking-ice-and-snow by soundmary askeleet-metsassa-talvi-footsteps-walking-in-the-forest-in-the-winter-ice-and-snow-underbrush-a-close-sound by ylearkisto BurlingtonIndustriesImplosion by the_toilet_guy slow-footsteps-with-natural-reverb by trygven -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

The King is out of jail and he has a bone to pick with an old enemy of his house and a treacherous friend. He is never alone in bone-picking and this case he is joined by GoGoGorilla, a private detective but also an ape, and Astrid Gimmerleck, who is putting far more effort into dating Axe Axewound than Axe Axewound is putting into dating Astrid Gimmerleck. She's already aware that he is a violent drunk but how will she react when she learns he can't commit to anything at all. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY: Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards   Amy Sutton played Astrid Gimmerleck Joshua Crisp played GoGoGorilla, Axe Axewound and Erik Rage-Eater! Tom McNally did the narration and played The King. Bed Edwards was Cutty. -- MUSIC Theme tune music, interstitials and 'The Bitey Bop' composed by Nicolai Roos 'GoGoGorilla's theme' and 'Work It Out' composed by John Bartmann  -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   GOGOGORILLA'S OFFICE foley-footsteps-carpet-001 by conleec   JAILBREAK AFTERMATH station-central-hall-2 by sandermotions h000-haunted-mine by tec-studios   ERIK RAGE-EATER!'S THRONE ROOM run-basement-01 by lg industrial-ambience-l by adough1 -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Life goes on even inside of a gigantic dugong. Everyone has settled down and found new roles and purpose except for Colonel Glowfist. He has found Gappy the reindeer and has a baffling plan to glitch their way back to the questing life. Will the master of magic ruin their completed character arcs? Just what is magic anyway? Whatever became of the Colonel's powerful slacks? What does it mean when NPCs name themselves and declare agency? -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Ben Edwards and Tom McNally   Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Prince Prince, Pineycone, Sofia Cólera and Joanna Cólera. Joshua Crisp played Colonel Glowfist, Father Figaro, Little Louie and Will Smith. Tom McNally did the narration and played The King. -- MUSIC Theme tune and musical stings by Nicolai Roos Glowfist's sting by John Bartmann Sofia Cólera's accompaniment by Beth Gibson Beach party music was 'Casanova Beach Club Pre-Party Summer 2010' by XaviPinos from archive.org -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org  community. This episode included the following:   INSIDE THE GIGANTIC DUGONG fat-wet-footsteps-in-small-shower-cabin by rugermuller mudsquelch by ahill86 footsteps-muddy-e by inspectorj glossy-magazine-sounds-fieldtapes by fieldtapes magazine2 by tiptoe84   PINEYCONE bird-flapping-wings by elfman-rox   MAGIC atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse atlas3q-1-fm-16bit by pixelmasseuse   ON THE OCEAN ocean-waves-surround-me by Tamás Bohács   BOSS FIGHT Dugong vocalizations came from the research of Kotaro Ichikawa   MIAMI BEACH   The following sound effects came from the public domain library at archive.org: Ocean1 by Sakurasky 2010 Pebble beach near Palaiokastrite Greece by radio aproree available from archive.org -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

How did the King wind up in Viking prison? When did he last speak to his friends? Who becomes Europe's champion while he is away? And what happens when you keep playing Tower Defense after you've built all of the towers and bought all of the upgrades? > listen to chapter 19_ -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY: Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards   Amy Sutton played Dogie Joshua Crisp played Auroch-Man Tom McNally did the narration and played The King, General Magnificent, Mechanicus and Terrorthaw. Ben Edwards was Cutty. -- MUSIC   Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos 'Medieval Battle' by John Bartmann and John Yarnold 'RPG Battle loop' by sirkoto51 of freesound.org   -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   BELIZE BEACH LANDING cathedral-echo by reinsamba electricity-crackling-close-to-an-electrical-post-in-the-desert-of-atacama-chile by felix-blume sea-lines-screaming-on-a-rock-in-the-pacific-ocean-chile by felix-blume easter-island-5-minute-md-recording-of-waves-crashing-against-volcanic-ro-1 by cybergenic roaring-house-fire-wall-fall-in by 7778 fire-from-a-nettle by urupin wood-hit-01 by dheming fireworks4 by andy-gardner bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland   SIEGE OF CASTLE MAGNIFICENT cathedraldoor by wim empty-corridor-of-a-spacecraft by vospi ambience-hockeyrink-empty by mikeonfire99 bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland running-in-a-hall by taira-komori 01-21-footsteps-tile-slippers-medium-pace by splicesound atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse cat-running-stairs by philllchabbb   CHILLINOUS PLAINS Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1 wind3 by eliasheuninck svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab   ROOF OF THE DARK SPAIN PLAZA calm-wind by equality-x12 oneeronderhorreo by herbertboland building-rooftops-ambient by batman6661 phone-vibrate by cabeeno-rossley going-up-stairs-in-a-hurry by taira-komori walking-by-in-the-rain-short by roofdog -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

Nobody can doubt that Bitey the Lion had a transformative effect on The Saga of the European King when he was introduced. Young viewers came in their millions, enthralled by his antics, disrespect for authority and smart mouth. The flagging franchise was revived and the merchandise options became practically unlimited. Bitey appeared on everything from lunch boxes, pajamas, toothbrushes, adverts for the Green Cross Code and kidney dialysis machines. In 1991 he even had his own hit single that was number one in the charts for sixteen weeks - that Christmas you couldn't move, shop or sleep without hearing 'The Bitey Bop' aggressively blared at you from hidden speakers and passing cars. Historian Nicolai Roos has produced this remaster of the old favourite so you can relive that magical December of 1991 all over again.

The King is trapped in a foreign prison. While his sword entertains his father's greatest enemy, the King meditates on his past adventures, previous episodes and spin-offs.  Which ghost of the past can save him? -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY:   Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards   Amy Sutton played Fighty Fran, Ms. Miller and Bitey the Lion. Joshua Crisp played Erik Rage-Eater!, Horrible Harry Glowfist, Father Figaro, Axe Axewound and GoGoGorilla. Tom McNally did the narration and played The King, Terrorthaw and Chuckwalla. Ben Edwards was Cutty. --   MUSIC   Theme tune music by Nicolai Roos 'Domestic Harmony' by John Bartmann 'The Bitey Bop' by Nicolai Roos -- SFX Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   ERIK RAGE-EATER!'S THRONE ROOM cathedral-ambience-01 by klankbeeld   FLASHBACK TO KASTEEL VAN LAEKEN cathedraldoor by wim empty-corridor-of-a-spacecraft by vospi ambience-hockeyrink-empty by mikeonfire99 bottlesmarblefloor by herbertboland running-in-a-hall by taira-komori   ART CLASS IN THE LIBRARY library-children by barcelonetasonora classroom-ambiance by joedeshon children2 by yacou little-girls-screaming by robinhood76 small-girls-screams by robinhood76 two-chairs-crash by issalcake   ORIGIN OF BITEY lacambre by pcaeldries grass1 by freefire66 lions-two by bidone lions-roar-at-lincoln-park-zoo by terwelp footstep-drag-indoors by abbahoot lagunita-foot-dragging by xserra swoosh by pasdepoisson baseball-bat-hit-3 by ctcollab hitting-baseball-w-wooden-bat by cgeffex close-combat-baseball-bat-head-hits-multiple by CJ Johnson   DEATH OF BITEY vet-clinic-operating-room-ward by jay6waza   JAILBREAK clatter-wood-11 by adam-n atlas3-2x-16bit by pixelmasseuse cellar-atmo-large-building by claudius metal-screwing by nicstage rubble-walk-rocky-grit-cave-footsteps by martian station-central-hall-2 by sandermotions -- ART Track art and logo by Tom McNally Original character designs by Bruno Stahl

The King's friends have been patiently waiting for his return at the Kasteel van Laken in Brussels. But when a souring love, several heart attacks and the increasing desperation of arch-villain Terrorthaw overcome them they prepare for a long and hazardous sea voyage to the United States. Will they and their ship be eaten by a gigantic dugong? Signs point to 'yes.' -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- PERFORMED BY Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards   Amy Sutton played Prince Prince, Queen Medb, Sally Minefield, Pineycone, Page Joshua Crisp played Colonel Glowfist, Father Figaro, Little Louie Duke of Portugal, Jen the Necroninja Tom McNally did the narration and played Terrorthaw and Chuckwalla --   MUSIC   Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos Terrorthaw's sting - Dark Synth and Glowfist's sting - Guitar Flair by John Bartmann Pineycone's theme by Mano Camatsos   -- SFX   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   A NICE MORNING brussels-bells-3 by everythingsounds amb-birds-in-a-garden-in-brussels-2014-03-30-5am by davidmenke lying-on-bed by avakas walk-on-bed by gyzhor   NECRONINJA DOJO kalium-arsenicum-5-min-version-binaural by the-very-real-horst gong-25-144 by the-very-real-horst walking-into-studio-and-tapping-mics by mickmon.com 01-23-footsteps-tile-slippers-jumping-scuffs by Splicesound whoosh02 by kingsrow steps-big-hall-2 by ninafoletti quarry-blasting by juskiddink heavy-impacts by richerlandertv barrage-firework-with-finale-of-powerful-shells-5th-nov-2013 by crosbychris   GRAND HALL wood-burning-stove by nebulousflynn fire-in-woodburning-stove by benboncan fire-burning-in-stove by jagadamba chair-scapes by taxmanforever cathedral-ambience-01 by klankbeeld swedish-library by jonnytheponny cathedraldoor_L by wim creaking-door_L by wim footstepsonadock by mmaruska   PINEYCONE bird-flapping-wings by elfman-rox   PORTUGUESE DOCK bi71-corne-de-brume-r by revoyre caissodre-montijodocks by amabok matosinhos-beach-in-between-bar-and-waterline by digitopia

The King has been missing for a long time. All of his friends who are not time-travellers are worried sick. His friends who are time-travellers, however, have more pressing mysteries on their mind - what is the best way to keep the wild gods of the Arctic from knocking down his rad castle? What really went down at the Sack of Rome, which is hands-down the coolest part of history? And why is Ba'al Hadad, god of thunder and fertility, such a useless layabout? But don't worry friends, there's a Magic Telephone on the hall table and everything will be all right when he calls back. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- Performed by Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards with special guest star Peter Markiner.   Peter Marinker played Caesar Amy Sutton played Saint Francis Joshua Crisp played Ba'al Tom McNally did the narration and played The King's Great-Great Grandfather, Mechanicus and General Magnificent   Theme tune and musical stings by Nicolai Roos   Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   SACK OF ROME 00853 distant demolition by Robinhood76 War Drum Single Hits by Matt Namer BurlingtonIndustriesImplosion by the_toilet_guy Cardboard burning 1 by raremess Bonfire Flames by Electroviolence Riot Crowd Immersed in 5.1 Take 2 by MrProfDrDickweed   CHILLINOUS PLAINS Wind Houling 1 by Bosk1 wind3 by eliasheuninck svalbard_ny_aalesund_20060807 by jeo Feedback Soundscape by Thalamus_Lab Station central hall 2 by Sandermotions bronze object in wind 140816_0376 by klankbeeld   KITCHEN Kitchen ambiance by Hourofmidnight Cutlery dropping into drawer by kitschead Cutlery_2 by coldwellw Glass dishes by bolcol

Previously on The Saga of the European King… It's been a long time and a lot has happened. Maybe you've listened to Book One and maybe you haven't. Either way, you might need a refresher course on the King, Europe and the Saga that involves both before you crash Book Two into your brain. This is that refresher course. -- Written and edited by Tom McNally -- Performed by Amy Sutton, Joshua Crisp, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards   Amy Sutton played Sally Minefield, Ex-Queen, Prince Prince, Queen Medb, Saint Francis and Pineycone Joshua Crisp played Father Figaro, Axe Axewound, Colonel Glowfist, Ba'al, the Green King Tom McNally did the narration and played the King, Terrorthaw, General Magnificent, Mechanicus and the Devil Ben Edwards was Cutty -- Theme tune music and interstitials by Nicolai Roos -- Sound effects not made by Tom McNally are courtesy of the wonderful freesound.org community. This episode included the following:   Little wings by user dobroide magpie-wingsflapping by user digifishmusic swansflyby by user acclivity beating-wings by user juskiddink bird-building02, grackles by user soundbytez bird-flapping-wings by user elfman-rox mallad-and-mandarin-ducks-with-take-off by user pillonoise   04342-sucking-vacuum-whooshes by user robinhood76 vaccum by user tpb -- Track art by Tom McNally

The Ex-Queen makes her move and the King is caught at every disadvantage. The Irish, the birds, and a three-man tent meet in glorious, decisive battle as the King fights to keep his family exactly how he likes it. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Ellen Buckley played Queen Medb Joshua Crisp as Saint Artalus Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist & Pineycone Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound & Father Figaro Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield, the Ex-Queen & Prince Prince Tom McNally did the narration and played the King Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

The King comes back to life just in time to face the rampaging Irish hordes brought to his doorstep by his ex-wife. Queen Medb has also been brought back to life after being in Hell for however many years. The King doesn't even get to meet her before her motives are brought into question. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Ellen Buckley played Queen Medb Joshua Crisp as Ba'al, Dr. Tchaikovsky, Lord Moneyfight & Little Louie, Duke of Portugal Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist, Saint Francis & Pineycone Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, General Magnificent & The Green King Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield and the Ex-Queen Tom McNally did the narration and played the King Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

The King hits all of the nightclubs in an attempt to mend his broken heart, while the Adventure Team recruits a charming new friend who is also an ancient Irish queen. Nothing but the best for the Adventure Team. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Ellen Buckley played Queen Medb Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, The Green King & the Devil Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield, Helen & Emma Tom McNally did the narration and played the King & the Devil Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Tom McNally

The remaining members of the Adventure Team nip through Hell to take a shortcut only to engage in a comedy of manners with the Devil. They beat him up. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played Saint Artalus Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro & the Devil Claudia Treacher played the Ex-Queen Tom McNally did the narration and played the King & the Devil -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Tom McNally

The King navigates through the netherworld to find his broken heart on the Astral Plane, though maybe this is a metaphor? Also, some stuff happened in the past that we should check out. Obviously this whole story happened in the Medieval Epoch but we're talking a paster past than that. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played Ba'al Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist, Mickey & Saint Francis Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, General Magnificent, Erik Rage-Eater!, Terrorthaw & The Green King Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield & the drummer Tom McNally did the narration and played the King, the King's Father & Mechanicus -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Tom McNally

The King suffers all the inconveniences of death - no clothes, horrifying spectres, a tedious jog, but he at least has his new spirit guide, Sally Minefield, to show him the ropes. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist & Mickey Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, Terrorthaw, The Green King & the grigori Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield & the Ex-Queen Tom McNally did the narration and played the King, the King's Father & Mechanicus Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Tom McNally

Pineycone, the Custodian of Europe, sets some public policy in the absence of the King. The bureaucrats of the court have to appease him but he won't come down from the rafters. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played Lord Moneyfight & Little Louie, Duke of Portugal Alex Hatton played Pineycone Ben Meredith played Lord Votecount Claudia Treacher played the Ex-Queen Tom McNally did the narration and played the King -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Tom McNally

Ba'al Hadad, the Mesopotamian god of agriculture and thunder, is making trouble for General Magnificent's party. Can Cutty, the King's sword, deliver a tongue-lashing stern enough to clear the path and advance the adventure?   -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Joshua Crisp played Ba'al Ben Meredith played General Magnificent Tom McNally did the narration and played the King & Mechanicus Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

Distraught about Feelings, the King flashes back to key events in his awesome past and takes his friends along with him. The full story of his failed marriage to the Ex-Queen is revealed throughout high school, his gap year in India, his wild years and that time when they all hung out as babies. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards. Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist, Pineycone & Rotter Axewound Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, Terrorthaw & General Magnificent Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield and the Ex-Queen Tom McNally did the narration and played the King, the King's Father & Mechancius Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

The King has made the error that many conquerors made before him - Germany is so safe and well-designed that distracting side-quests and minigames are thin on the ground. Driven to desperate measures, he takes off to confront old sins in Denmark. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound and Father Figaro Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield, the Page and the Ex-Queen Tom McNally did the narration and played the King Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

The journey to establish a military foothold in the North has hit a shaggy problem - an unfeasible number of goats blocking the road. An old lady wants a troubling word with General Magnificent and only Mechanicus' wacky chrono-antics can set the poor man's mind at ease. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Alex Hatton played the ice-cream drone Ben Meredith played General Magnificent Claudia Treacher played Bedshaw Broomrape Tom McNally did the narration and played Mechanicus Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

Right out of the gate, the King and his Adventure Friends are set upon by dread enemies. Birds were new to this plane of reality in Medieval times, so you can imagine how terrifying it must have been to have encountered a whole flock of them. Kill them all, team! -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound & Father Figaro Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield Tom McNally did the narration and played The King Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

No journey of import could be legally approved in Medieval Europe without the imparting of thoughtful and powerful presents. Though the presents may be sweet, the goodbyes the King has to make are bitter. Could these two emotions combine to form a new, more powerful emotion? Stay tuned! -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist & Pineycone Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, General Magnificent & Sir Votecount Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield, Prince Prince & the Page Tom McNally did the narration and played The King and Mechanicus Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

The King assembles The Big Important Council Of Europe to propose a war on Winter. But there is a serpent in his Eden: a horrible man named Terrorthaw, and he has a gun. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist & Pineycone Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound, Father Figaro, Terrorthaw & Sir Votecount Claudia Treacher played Sally Minefield & the Page Tom McNally did the narration and played The King and Mechanicus Ben Edwards was Cutty -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl

Having solved all other problems in the Medieval world, the King of Europe gathers up his highest-level hangers-on and sets out to kill Winter, the season that makes everyone cold and miserable for one half of their entire lives. -- Written and edited by Tom McNallyMastered by John Bartmann -- Performed by Ben Meredith, Claudia Treacher, Alex Hatton, Joshua Crisp, Ellen Buckley, Tom McNally and Ben Edwards.   Alex Hatton played Colonel Glowfist Ben Meredith played Axe Axewound Claudia Treacher as Sally Minefield, the Page and Prince Prince. Tom McNally did the narration and played The King -- The theme tune, 'The King Is Coming,' written by Nicolai Roos -- Track art by Bruno Stahl -- Transcript available here.