The YouSchool Podcast

Episode Summary: What if your kid grows up and still believes the world revolves around them? Not ideal, right? In this heartfelt episode, Scott Schimmel tackles a tough but necessary parenting question: Are we raising kids who instinctively put others first—or just looking out for themselves? Scott shares a powerful story from his own family about quiet generosity and gives practical ways parents can shape kids into selfless, others-focused adults. This episode dives deep into what a “life of meaning” really looks like—and how it's built, one small act of service at a time. In This Episode: 0:00 - Why selflessness doesn't come naturally 2:30 - A story about Grandpa Fudd and the family dog 5:20 - Why service is a cornerstone of a meaningful life 8:10 - The parenting mindset shift we all need 10:05 - 3 simple ways to teach your kid to put others first 13:00 - The importance of modeling service, even when it's inconvenient 15:00 - Real talk: what happens when we don't model it 17:15 - A weekly question every parent should ask their kid 19:00 - Wrap-up + how to learn more Takeaways for Parents: Ask your kid: “What did you do today to put someone else first?” Share stories of generosity from your own life or your family's past. Include your kid in acts of service—even when it's inconvenient. Be honest about the moments you miss the mark. That teaches humility.

As parents, we dream of raising kids who are self-sufficient, driven, and living with purpose—not just checking boxes or chasing paychecks. In this episode, Scott Schimmel flips the script on how we talk to our kids about their future. Instead of asking, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” he challenges us to ask something much deeper:

Every kid wants to know they matter. But how do we actually help them feel it? In this episode, Scott Schimmel shares why confidence and a sense of purpose don't show up by accident—they're built through intentional experiences where kids feel needed, capable, and valuable. Scott opens up about a real-life parenting moment involving sawdust, sweat, and a 14-year-old son who solved a problem better than Dad could. It's funny, humbling—and deeply insightful. Because when kids see their value in action, everything starts to change. We also highlight a powerful example from Sage Creek High School's Genius Project, where seniors present real-world projects that benefit their communities—and how those kinds of experiences can spark lifelong confidence and purpose.

In this episode, Scott Schimmel explores one of the most important but often misunderstood questions we can ask our kids: "What are you going to do next?" Rather than applying pressure or demanding perfect plans, Scott unpacks how to cultivate clarity, confidence, and ownership in our kids' lives—encouraging purpose-driven action rooted in imagination, hope, and small next steps. This episode is a must-listen for parents, educators, and mentors who want to raise proactive, purposeful young adults without overwhelming them. What You'll Learn: Why “What's next?” is a powerful question for teens How imagination and daydreaming relate to long-term vision The difference between pressure and healthy responsibility How to break big goals into small, doable steps How to support kids without controlling their decisions How modeling and storytelling foster growth and clarity Parenting Tips Highlighted: Use open-ended, purpose-driven questions Celebrate small steps and progress Model vulnerability and share your own path Shift from managing to coaching

In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel dives into one of the most critical—but overlooked—questions every kid needs to answer to build a meaningful life: What are your strengths? Too many high-achieving students feel burnt out, insecure, and unclear about who they truly are because they've been conditioned to excel in everything without understanding what truly energizes them. Scott shares stories, insights, and practical tips to help parents and educators guide young people toward discovering and investing in their natural talents. ✅ Learn why focusing on weaknesses isn't the path to a meaningful life ✅ Discover the power of strengths-based development using CliftonStrengths ✅ Hear how real students are struggling with identity, burnout, and self-worth ✅ Get practical tools and conversation starters to help kids name and own their strengths

In this episode, Scott Schimmel unpacks one of the most crucial questions every teen needs to hear: “What kind of person do you want to become?” With the growing pressure from academics, sports, social media, and societal expectations, kids today are more overwhelmed than ever—often chasing someone else's dream without ever asking themselves what truly matters. Scott dives into mimetic theory, self-determination theory, and practical strategies for helping kids build autonomy, identity, and resilience. He explains how parents, educators, and mentors can foster internal motivation and help young people develop a meaningful vision for their lives—not just a plan. What You'll Learn: Why kids are vulnerable to external expectations The impact of mimetic desire and social media How autonomy influences motivation and identity Practical ways to ask kids the right questions Why modeling your own personal vision matters

What if asking your kid one simple question could unlock a powerful insight into who they are becoming? In this episode, Scott Schimmel explores one of the 30 Critical Questions every kid needs to answer to build a meaningful life: "What's beautiful to you?" It might sound like a question better suited for a dating app or poetry night—but trust us, it's a game-changer. Scott breaks down why this question goes way beyond preferences—and instead, helps kids: Tap into their core values

In this episode, Scott Schimmel shares a powerful moment with a group of high school seniors that reveals a deep truth about how kids tie their self-worth to achievement. When one high-achieving student admitted he only felt good about himself after winning, it opened the door for others to share similar struggles. This episode explores the dangers of outsourcing self-worth to accomplishments and how parents can help their kids develop inner self-appreciation. Key Takeaways:

Summary In this conversation, Scott Schimmel emphasizes the critical importance of identity formation during the teenage years. He discusses how adolescents need guidance to discover who they are and the significance of self-discovery in building resilience and personal growth. Schimmel provides practical steps for parents to model self-discovery, encourage reflection, and celebrate their children's self-awareness, ultimately fostering a healthy environment for their development. Takeaways The teenage years are crucial for identity formation.Adolescents need guidance to discover their identity.Self-concordance is essential for resilience.The adolescent brain is wired for self-discovery.Parents should model their own self-discovery process.Encouraging reflection helps teens understand their experiences.Celebrating self-awareness is important for growth.Self-awareness is key for effective leadership and relationships.Parents play a vital role in their children's self-discovery.Normalizing self-discovery can prevent future struggles. Sound Bites "We can help them reflect on their own experiences." Chapters 00:00 The Importance of Identity Formation03:03 The Role of Self-Discovery in Adolescence06:40 Guiding Teens Towards Self-Awareness Your kid's identity isn't something that just happens—it's something they build. And they need your guidance to do it well. The 30 Critical Questions are a powerful tool to help them gain clarity on who they are, what they care about, and where they belong. Want to get started? Subscribe to our START Newsletter for weekly insights, reflection prompts, and practical steps to help your kid build a meaningful life—one question at a time.

In this episode, Scott Schimmel dives deep into the challenge of helping kids develop resilience when they face struggles. Have you ever heard your child say, "I'm just not good at this," and then give up? The real problem isn't struggle—it's hopelessness. Scott shares powerful insights on how to reframe struggles as growth opportunities, build perseverance, and teach kids the science of hope.

Episode Overview: In this episode, Scott Schimmel shares the story of Alex—a smart, capable college student who struggles with decision-making, self-identity, and finding direction in life. Alex's journey reveals a critical gap: he's never taken the time to define his fundamental beliefs or values. Without this foundation, he drifts through major life choices, relationships, and social pressures without a clear sense of who he is or what truly matters to him. Scott breaks down the difference between values (what you think is important) and beliefs (what you think is true) and explains why both are essential for a fulfilling life. He also shares practical ways parents and mentors can help kids reflect on and declare their own beliefs—so they can build a future with clarity, confidence, and purpose. Key Takeaways: Drifting vs. Intentional Living – Without clear beliefs and values, kids are more likely to follow the crowd rather than make intentional choices. The Power of Reflection – Kids need time and guidance to explore what they believe about themselves, the world, and their purpose. Parents as Guides – Your kids need to hear from you. Share your own core beliefs and values while giving them the space to shape their own. Real-World Impact – When kids define their beliefs, they make better choices about careers, relationships, and friendships—leading to a more meaningful life. Questions to Ask Your Kid: What do you believe is right, good, and true? What do you value most in life? What kind of person do you want to become? How do your beliefs influence your decisions? Next Steps: If this episode resonated with you, start a conversation with your kid today. Reflect on your own beliefs and share them—then ask your kid what they believe. It's one of the best gifts you can give them. Subscribe for More: If you found this helpful, make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications for more episodes on helping kids grow into confident, purpose-driven adults. Follow Us On Instagram: @theyouschool

Ever feel like your kid is just going with the flow, making decisions based on what's easiest or what others expect? That's normal—but it's also why so many young people struggle to find a path that actually fulfills them. In this episode, Scott Schimmel shares how parents can help kids clarify their personal values so they can make decisions with confidence, avoid regrets, and build a life that aligns with who they truly are.

Welcome to another episode of The YouSchool Podcast with Scott Schimmel. This episode is deeply personal, as Scott reflects on his teenage years and the struggle of pretending to be someone he wasn't. Today, kids face even greater challenges in discovering their identity. We continue our journey through the 30 Critical Questions Every Kid Needs to Answer to build a meaningful life. This week, we tackle Question #2: What Makes You Unique? Many kids seek external validation instead of embracing their true selves. The pressures of social media, competitive academics, and sports make it even harder for them to confidently own their identity. Scott explores how parents and educators can help kids recognize, embrace, and align their choices with their uniqueness. Key Takeaways: ✅ Why kids struggle with identity and self-acceptance ✅ The dangers of external validation and social conformity ✅ How parents can act as a healthy, accurate mirror for their children ✅ Practical ways to encourage kids to embrace their uniqueness ✅ The role of social media, peer pressure, and college admissions in identity formation Join us as we uncover the ways to guide kids toward confidence, self-awareness, and authenticity. Follow Us On Instagram: @theyouschool Watch The Episode On Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@theyouschool

Description: Welcome to The You School Podcast!

Episode OverviewIn this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, we dive into one of the most important—and surprisingly simple—ways to connect with your kid: saying yes. Whether it's joining them on a roller coaster, staying up late to watch silly YouTube videos, or going to a fast-food place you'd never choose, these little moments matter more than you think. We'll explore why kids invite us into their world in ways that don't always make sense to adults, and how saying yes can strengthen your bond, create lifetime memories, and show them that they truly matter. Parenting is full of small decisions, and this is one you'll never regret. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why kids invite you into their world and how to recognize those moments. The importance of showing up for your kid, even when it's inconvenient. How saying yes builds connection and sends the message, you matter to me. Real-life examples of how small moments create lifetime memories. A practical prompt for parents to prioritize connection over comfort. Key Takeaways Your kid's invitations—whether it's a ride, a video, or a late-night chat—are opportunities for connection. Saying yes doesn't mean abandoning boundaries; it's about prioritizing moments that matter. Shared experiences, no matter how small, help your kid feel seen, valued, and supported. Quotes from the Episode “Parenting isn't about perfect moments. It's about showing up in the messy, unexpected ways that make your kid feel seen and loved.” “It's not about the activity—it's about the memory, the connection, and the message you're sending: You matter to me.” Resources & Next Steps Read the full article: theyouschool.com/blog Explore more parenting tips and resources: theyouschool.com

Episode Summary:As parents, we want our kids to succeed, but true fulfillment only comes when their goals align with their authentic selves. In this episode, Scott Schimmel dives deep into the science of motivation, exploring self-concordance theory—a framework that helps explain why some goals energize and fulfill us while others leave us feeling empty. Learn how to guide your kids toward meaningful, autonomous goals and away from the trap of external pressures, guilt, and burnout. Scott shares personal stories, practical advice, and research-backed insights to help parents foster their children's self-awareness, autonomy, and lifelong fulfillment. Discover how to support your kids in identifying what truly lights them up, reflect on their motivations, and make decisions that align with their identity and values. What You'll Learn in This Episode: The difference between controlled motivations (external pressures, guilt) and autonomous motivations (intrinsic passion, identified purpose). How to recognize when your child is pursuing goals for the wrong reasons. Practical tips for encouraging self-reflection and focusing on the process, not just the outcome. Real-life examples of guiding kids toward activities that align with their interests and identity. Why helping your child align with their true self builds long-term fulfillment and success. Actionable Takeaways: Ask Reflective Questions: Start conversations with your kids like, “What excites you about that activity?” or “When do you feel most yourself?” Focus on Effort and Growth: Shift the family culture to celebrate curiosity and perseverance over external rewards. Mirror Interests: Notice and neutrally reflect back what you observe excites or energizes your child. Model Self-Concordance: Show your kids how you pursue what aligns with your values and interests. Connect with Us: Visit our blog for more parenting insights. Follow @theyouschool on Instagram for daily tips. Subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive resources.

Episode OverviewIn this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, we're tackling one of the most challenging aspects of parenting: giving your kid the independence they crave while still guiding and supporting them. If you're tired of constant clashes and feeling like you're walking on eggshells, this episode is for you. Discover how autonomy-supportive parenting can reduce power struggles, build trust, and help your kid develop the confidence and resilience they need to thrive. We'll break down: What autonomy-supportive parenting is (and isn't). Why your kid needs autonomy to grow into a responsible adult. The 10 most common reasons parents hesitate to offer autonomy. Practical, real-life examples of how to encourage independence while maintaining connection. Take the Quiz:Curious about how autonomy-supportive your parenting is? Take our quick quiz to find out your autonomy skill level: theyouschool.com/autonomy-quiz. What You'll Learn in This Episode [0:24] The Core Parenting StruggleWhy do kids push back so hard? They're craving independence—but in a way that feels supported, not abandoned. [1:13] The Research Behind Autonomy SupportLearn about the decades of research behind autonomy and why it's essential for your kid's growth. [3:00] Why Parents Struggle to Let GoWe break down the top 10 reasons parents hesitate to give their kids autonomy, including fear of failure, control issues, and societal pressures. [9:34] The Impact of Autonomy on KidsDiscover how giving your kid independence builds confidence, resilience, and a stronger relationship with you. [12:26] What Autonomy Is (and Isn't)Clear up common misconceptions about autonomy and learn what it means to provide freedom within boundaries. [15:13] Practical Ways to Offer AutonomyGet actionable examples for everyday parenting scenarios, from homework to screen time and friendships. Key Takeaways Kids thrive when they feel trusted, respected, and capable of making their own decisions. Autonomy support doesn't mean letting go of boundaries; it means stepping into a new role as a guide and encourager. Offering more independence builds stronger relationships and helps kids develop intrinsic motivation and resilience. Additional Resources Take the Quiz: theyouschool.com/parent-autonomy-quiz Learn More: Visit our blog for more parenting resources: theyouschool.com/blog.

Episode Summary: In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel dives into the challenges kids face today around feeling seen, valued, and genuinely connected. Growing up in a world driven by social media, kids often receive “false positives” (temporary boosts of validation) or “false negatives” (feelings of rejection) that leave them questioning their value. Scott shares three foundational ways parents can communicate unconditional love and genuine regard to their kids: by lighting up when they see them, showing curiosity, and mirroring back their value. Discover how to create a solid foundation that helps kids feel like they matter—regardless of social media validation—and sets them up for a lifetime of confidence, happiness, and resilience. Key Takeaways: The difference between solitude and loneliness and how mattering is essential for self-worth.How social media creates “false positives” and “false negatives” that can impact kids' mental health.Three powerful strategies to show kids they matter: light up when you see them, be curious about their lives, and mirror back their value.Chapters: [00:02] Introduction: Scott reflects on his own teenage years and feelings of loneliness.[01:10] Social Media and Validation: Exploring how false positives and false negatives impact kids' self-worth.[02:44] The Gray Kid Phenomenon: Why the “kids in the middle” often feel overlooked and unnoticed.[05:09] Creating a Home Base: How parents can provide unconditional love and a safe space for kids.[06:20] Three Ways to Communicate Mattering: Lighting up, showing curiosity, and mirroring value.[07:31] Closing Remarks: Encouraging parents to support their kids' foundational need to feel valued.

Episode Summary:In this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel dives into the importance of teaching kids how to help others feel like they matter. Growing up is already challenging, and social media only intensifies the pressure kids feel to gain external validation. But what if, instead of constantly seeking validation, kids learned to give it? Scott introduces the science of mattering, highlighting two essential components: feeling valued and adding value. By learning to express mattering to those around them—through simple acts like acknowledging, greeting, and showing interest—kids can gain a sense of self-worth while creating positive impacts on others. Scott shares personal insights, research-backed strategies, and practical ways parents can model this behavior, ultimately empowering kids to connect deeply and compassionately with others. Chapters: [00:08] Introduction: Why helping kids feel valued and add value is critical for their development.[01:30] The Challenge of Seeking Validation: Exploring how social media impacts kids' self-worth.[02:34] The Science of Mattering: Two essential parts of mattering—feeling valued and adding value.[04:00] A Typical School Scenario: Understanding how kids often feel ignored in social settings.[05:03] Teaching Kids to Show Value: Encouraging kids to notice and acknowledge others, especially those who seem invisible.[06:10] Modeling Mattering as Adults: Scott's personal commitment to greeting kids and adults he knows.[07:20] A Challenge for Parents: Inspiring parents to model this behavior and teach kids to do the same.Key Takeaways: Kids benefit immensely when they feel they both matter and make a difference to those around them.Social media reinforces the need for external validation, but internal validation can be built by focusing on mattering.Simple acts of greeting, listening, and showing interest can help kids experience the power of adding value to others' lives.

Show Notes Episode SummaryIn this episode of The YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel breaks down the concept of "mattering" and why it's crucial for teenage development. Drawing from the latest research by Gordon Flett, Gregory Elliott, and Isaac Prilleltensky, Scott explains what mattering means, why it goes beyond simple connection, and how parents can practically show their kids they truly matter. Discover how mattering impacts self-worth, reduces risky behavior, and boosts academic engagement, and learn specific actions you can take to affirm your teen's value. Chapters [00:01] Introduction: Why helping our kids feel they matter is essential. [02:28] What is Mattering?: The science behind mattering and why it's important. [04:54] Beyond Connection: Understanding the difference between connection, belonging, and mattering. [07:01] Components of Mattering: Breaking down attention, importance, and dependence. [09:24] Impact of Mattering: Statistics on how mattering reduces depression and risky behavior. [11:49] Practical Tips for Parents: Actions to show your teen they matter. [14:02] Conclusion & Resources: Encouragement to consistently affirm your child's value.

Summary In this episode of the YouSchool podcast, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of guiding children towards clarity in their interests and career paths. He reflects on his personal experiences as a parent and the insights gained from his research on adolescent development. The conversation emphasizes the need to identify children's interests through their digital activities and encourages parents to foster curiosity and exploration in their kids. Takeaways The norm is that kids often feel lonely and disconnected after college.Clarity about interests and values is crucial for youth.Narrowing down options can help in decision-making.Digital footprints can reveal children's true interests.Curiosity is a strong indicator of intrinsic motivation.Parents should think like algorithms to understand their kids' interests.Encouraging exploration can lead to unexpected discoveries.It's important to create a supportive environment for kids.Conversations about interests should be engaging, not interrogative.Fostering curiosity can lead to a more fulfilling career path. Sound Bites "I want my kids to become happy and successful.""I feel really lonely and disconnected.""Narrowing things down is actually a really, really helpful way." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to YouSchool and Its Purpose02:54 The Importance of Clarity in Career Paths05:49 Identifying Interests Through Digital Clues09:13 Encouraging Curiosity and Shared Interests

In this episode, Scott Schimmel dives deep into one of the biggest challenges parents face—helping their kids navigate the natural fogginess of adolescence to find clarity in their lives. Scott shares personal experiences with his own children, offering practical, easy-to-implement strategies for parents to guide their kids toward discovering their unique skills, values, and purpose. Key Takeaways: Adolescence and Fog: The teenage years are naturally full of distractions and uncertainty, making it difficult for kids to understand themselves and make confident decisions. The Power of Questions: Asking thoughtful, open-ended questions is a key tactic in helping your kids reflect on their intrinsic interests. Notice and Observe: Scott explains how simply observing your child's behaviors and preferences can provide valuable insights into their personality and passions. Take Notes: Keeping a record of your observations and conversations can help you connect the dots over time and better support your child's development. Practical Tips: Ask questions that encourage your kids to explore their interests and passions. Notice and observe what they're naturally drawn to—whether it's a favorite subject in school or hobbies they keep returning to. Take notes on what you see and hear, then use this data to reflect back to your child what makes them unique. Scott's three-step method—asking questions, observing, and taking notes—will help you play a crucial role in guiding your kids from fogginess to clarity as they move through the critical teenage years. Join the START Newsletter:For more actionable tips and resources to guide your kids toward clarity and purpose, sign up for our weekly START Newsletter! Each week, we'll send you a new idea to help you be intentional in your parenting journey.

Summary In this episode of the YouSchool Podcast, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of guiding children towards self-awareness and fulfillment, particularly in the context of social media and identity formation. He emphasizes the need for parents to set the right kind of expectations for their children, distinguishing between harmful pressures and supportive guidance. The conversation highlights the role of authoritative parenting, where high expectations are paired with support, enabling children to thrive and explore their intrinsic interests. Takeaways The primary mission of YouSchool is to guide kids to become self-aware and self-driven adults.Social media poses significant challenges to children's identity formation.Parents should avoid pressuring kids into specific career or college paths.Research shows that pressure from parents can lead to lower success and fulfillment.Parents should focus on helping kids feel seen, heard, and validated.Intrinsic interests should be explored and affirmed by parents.High expectations can be beneficial when paired with support.Authoritative parenting is effective in fostering children's growth.Parents should encourage kids to take initiative and be responsible.Open communication about expectations can lead to better outcomes for children. Sound Bites "How do we prepare them for it?""Your kids do not need you to pressure them.""Do not put pressure on them instead." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Purpose of YouSchool03:00 Understanding Expectations in Parenting05:59 The Role of High Expectations and Support

Links from the Episode: Take our short survey - https://bit.ly/parent-tech-concern-survey Check out our Tech Healthy Parenting Course, and start guiding your family to healthier tech habits - https://techhealthyparenting.com/ In this episode, Scott and Tyler discuss the challenges of parenting in the digital age and how to help kids navigate online interactions. They emphasize the importance of monitoring and guiding children's online behavior, teaching them to be kind and respectful in their digital interactions. They share personal stories and encourage parents to have open conversations with their kids about the potential harms of social media. The episode concludes with a promotion of their Tech Healthy Parenting course. TAKEAWAYS Parenting in the digital age requires monitoring and guiding children's online behavior. Teach kids to be kind and respectful in their digital interactions. Have open conversations with kids about the potential harms of social media. Consider enrolling in the Tech Healthy Parenting course for more guidance. Chapters 00:00 Parenting in the Digital Age 02:54 Training Kids to Be Good Humans 06:33 The Importance of FaceTime 08:35 Teaching Kindness and Respect 11:34 Sharing Personal Stories 13:27 Promoting the Tech Healthy Parenting Course

In this episode, we explore the critical issue of guiding your kids to become thoughtful, self-aware individuals in the age of social media. Join Scott Schimmel, President and Chief Guide of The YouSchool, as he shares insights and practical advice on how to help your children navigate the digital world wisely. Key Takeaways: - Is keeping your kids away from social media the answer?- The real impact of social media on both adults and children.- Personal story: How a dream vacation led to an eye-opening realization about FOMO.- The hidden threats of social media on kids' identity formation.- Practical steps to cultivate critical thinking and conscious living in your children.- Introduction to our Tech Healthy Parenting course. Timestamps:00:03 - Is keeping kids off social media the answer?01:00 - Introduction to guiding kids through social media.02:00 - The distraction and distortion caused by social media.03:00 - Personal story: Experiencing FOMO on a dream vacation.04:30 - The impact of social media on adults vs. children.05:30 - The existential threat of social media's hidden messages.06:30 - Practical steps for parents to help kids navigate social media.07:30 - Introduction to the Tech Healthy Parenting course. Resources Mentioned: Tech Healthy Parenting CourseJonathan Haidt's ResearchJean Twenge's Insights Connect with Us: Visit our website: theyouschool.comFollow us on Instagram: @TheYouSchoolLike us on Facebook: The YouSchool About Scott Schimmel:Scott Schimmel is the President and Chief Guide of The YouSchool. With over two decades of experience guiding young adults into intentional, conscious living, Scott shares his expertise on helping parents and children navigate the complexities of the modern world. Subscribe for More Content:If you found this episode helpful, make sure to subscribe to our channel, give this video a thumbs up, and hit the notification bell so you don't miss any future episodes. Share your thoughts and questions in the comments below—we'd love to hear from you! Transcript Highlights: Scott Schimmel (00:03.06): Is keeping your kids away from social media the answer? Absolutely for a while, but eventually they're going to have to operate in this world. The whole point of parenting is to guide your kids to become critical thinkers as they participate in the world through social media so that they're not distracted and their life isn't distorted by the messages that are coming through. Scott Schimmel (02:00): Advertisers have used scare tactics and scarcity to sell throughout time, and it's really no different in social media. I'm a grown man, and yet I am so distracted by the messages that come through media, particularly social media. Scott Schimmel (03:00): I remember being in Maui, the absolute vacation of our dreams for my wife and I. One day, I scrolled through social media and saw another family on a trip in Zion National Park. Suddenly, I felt bad that we weren't there instead, even though I was in my favorite place in the world. Scott Schimmel (04:30): If I, with my achievements and stability, can feel worse because of social media, how much more will this happen to a kid who hasn't formed a life yet? Scott Schimmel (06:30): Eventually, your kids will have access to social media. The key question is whether they will be mindful and self-aware, able to think critically, or if they will be victims of the false messages telling them they're not enough. Scott Schimmel (07:30): At The YouSchool, we've designed the Tech Healthy Parenting course to help parents navigate these issues. By consuming media with your kids and discussing the underlying messages, you can guide them to be thoughtful and wise. Remember to check out our Tech Healthy Parenting course to help you and your kids navigate the digital world effectively!

Summary In this conversation, Tyler and Scott discuss the harmful impact of cell phones on children's development and social media. They explore three specific topics: the negative effects of phone distractions on kids' ability to focus, how parents can model better behaviors and break the addictive cycle, and the psychological impact of peers having phones on a child's identity development. They emphasize the importance of teaching kids to focus and engage in deep work, setting boundaries and explaining the reasons behind them. They also discuss the impact of phone distractions on relationships and the need for presence in face-to-face interactions. Takeaways Cell phones have a harmful impact on children's development and social media. Parents should model better behaviors and break the addictive cycle. Phone distractions affect kids' ability to focus and engage in deep work. Setting boundaries and explaining the reasons behind them is important. Phone distractions also impact relationships and the need for presence in face-to-face interactions.

Episode 121: Social media distorts reality and undermines the values we teach our kids. It promotes the fallacies of accumulating resources, building a resume, and impressing others. However, research shows that kids need a well-grounded identity, an authentic community, and a sense of purpose. Social media can lead to worse mental health and prevent kids from reaching their potential. Parents need to help their kids see through the distortion and teach them that their value is not determined by social media metrics. A course called Tech Healthy Parenting is being developed to provide parents with the tools to navigate social media with their kids. Takeaways Social media distorts reality and promotes false ideas about success and happiness. Kids need a well-grounded identity, an authentic community, and a sense of purpose to thrive. Parents should help their kids see through the distortion of social media and teach them their true value. A course called Tech Healthy Parenting is being developed to support parents in navigating social media with their kids.

Episode 121 Summary: Scott Schimmel explores the importance of helping children identify their natural skills and talents in order to build a fulfilling career. Scott shares personal experiences of how external validation and affirmation played a significant role in discovering his own skills. The biases of parents in shaping their children's career paths are discussed, as well as the danger of prioritizing financial success over personal fulfillment. He emphasizes the need for a narrative-based approach to help young people identify their skills and make better decisions. The conversation concludes with an invitation for listeners to share their own experiences and regrets. Takeaways Helping children identify their natural skills and talents is crucial for building a fulfilling career. External validation and affirmation can play a significant role in discovering one's skills. Parents should be aware of their biases and avoid shaping their children's career paths based on their own desires or financial considerations. A narrative-based approach can help young people gain clarity about their skills and make better decisions. Sharing stories of regret and missed opportunities can help guide young people towards self-discovery and fulfillment.

Description: In this episode of The YouSchool podcast, we dive into the challenging yet essential conversations parents need to have with their children about their future. From discussing college options to career paths, these talks are crucial for helping kids prepare for adult life. We'll share proven strategies to improve your communication, emphasizing the importance of psychological safety—a concept developed by Harvard's Amy Edmondson. Discover how sharing your personal stories of self-discovery can create a supportive environment, enabling your child to express their thoughts freely, make mistakes without fear, and feel confident in exploring their future options. Key Takeaways: Psychological Safety: Creating an environment where your child feels safe to express themselves, make mistakes, and know they are supported. Personal Stories: Sharing your own experiences of self-discovery and decision-making to normalize mistakes and reinforce your support. Effective Communication: Strategies to improve communication with your child about their future, regardless of their personality or default mode. Parental Guidance: Understanding the high stakes involved in your child's future decisions and the intertwined nature of your fates. Reducing Anxiety: Techniques to alleviate both your anxiety and your child's apprehension about discussing future plans. Transcript Excerpt: "Every kid needs help to prepare for adult life—even if they're sending messages to you that they want to figure it all out on their own. A lot goes into that preparation, and the chief among them are the decisions regarding college and career. Chances are, they aren't coming to you regularly for advice, but they are ready to take notes and soak up your pearls of wisdom. In fact, they might be telling you the exact opposite: 'Leave me alone; I know what I'm doing and what needs to be done.' But you and I both know the stakes are too high to take them at their word." Chapters 00:00 Foundation for Meaningful Conversations with Teenagers 03:26 Creating Psychological Safety for Teenagers 05:50 The Three Essential Ingredients for Psychological Safety 08:15 Parents as Guides for Teenagers' Future Exploration Sound Bites "Having conversations with teenagers about their future is more important than anything else." "Psychological safety is the foundation for teenagers to explore their opportunities and options." "Psychological safety includes allowing teenagers to be themselves and make mistakes." Tune in for our expert insights and practical advice on navigating these pivotal conversations with confidence and care.

Summary In this episode, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of social skills for young adults and how parents can help their children develop these skills. He emphasizes the need for modeling and demonstrating good social skills, putting kids in challenging situations to learn, giving feedback without shame or criticism, and occasionally scripting conversations to provide guidance. The episode highlights the significance of social skills in both personal and professional life and encourages parents to actively teach and support their children in developing these skills. Takeaways Social skills are essential for young adults to succeed and thrive in both their personal and professional lives. Parents can help their children develop social skills by modeling and demonstrating good social skills themselves. Putting kids in challenging situations allows them to learn and practice social skills. Giving feedback without shame or criticism helps children improve their social skills. Occasionally, scripting conversations can guide and support children in social situations.

Summary In this conversation, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of building a professional network for young adults entering the job market. He emphasizes the impact of AI, automation, and virtual working on job competition and highlights the significance of personal relationships in securing job opportunities. Scott provides practical advice for parents on teaching their kids the value of a professional network and shares personal experiences to illustrate its impact on career success. Takeaways The job market is highly competitive, and personal relationships play a crucial role in securing job opportunities. Parents can teach their kids the value of a professional network by providing practical advice and sharing personal experiences. Building a professional network early in life can yield tremendous results later in a young adult's career. Modeling authentic friendships and professional networking for kids can serve as a foundation for their overall life and career success.

Summary Scott Schimmel explores the importance of guiding children to make informed and thoughtful life decisions, emphasizing the need for a values and prioritization exercise. He highlights the impact of choices on one's life and the role of parents in providing guidance without imposing pressure. Scott also shares a personal story to illustrate the significance of aligning values with decisions. Takeaways How can I help my child make informed decisions about their future? How can I provide guidance to my child without imposing too much pressure? What exercises can help my child clarify and prioritize their personal values? How can I help my child align their decisions with their personal values? How can I guide my child to make decisions that lead to a balanced and fulfilling life?

Scott Schimmel shares his personal experience of developing a strong work ethic and discusses how parents can cultivate a strong work ethic in their children. He emphasizes the importance of leading by example and setting clear expectations. He also encourages parents to help their children set goals and discuss the importance of hard work. Scott acknowledges that some children may struggle with developing a work ethic, but offers hope and strategies for parents to guide their children towards success. Takeaways How important is it for me to lead by example to teach my child about work ethic? What are effective ways for me to set clear expectations and responsibilities for my child to develop a strong work ethic? How can I encourage my child to set goals and understand the importance of hard work? What should I do if my child struggles with developing a strong work ethic? What role do I play in cultivating a strong work ethic in my child?

Summary In this conversation, Scott Schimmel discusses how to increase a child's level of concern for their future well-being and success. He acknowledges that some kids may naturally be more laid-back and less concerned about the future, but offers strategies for helping them develop a realistic perspective and take action. Schimmel emphasizes the importance of providing a clear understanding of the future, introducing kids to people who can provide insight and advice, and sharing statistics and stories that highlight the consequences of not planning for the future. He also emphasizes the need to balance concern with hope and support. Questions: How can I help my child who is not worried about their future develop a realistic perspective? What are effective ways to teach children the importance of planning for the future? How can meeting people who have faced consequences of poor planning benefit my child? How do I balance instilling concern about the future with maintaining hope and support to avoid causing my child stress or anxiety?

Summary This conversation explores the importance of shaping children's positive attitude towards work. Scott reflects on his own experience and the impact his perspective has had on his child's view of work. He emphasizes the need for parents to guide their children in developing a positive and redemptive view of work. Scott presents various options for how individuals can perceive work and encourages self-reflection to determine one's own perspective. Takeaways How can I help shape my kid's view of work? How to develop of positive and redemptive view of work? How can self-reflection and self-awareness help shape my kid's approach to work? How can parents be open and honest when communicating about work with children?

A large percentage of young adults feel pressure to perform academically and athletically, which can lead to mental health challenges and less life satisfaction. Scott Schimmel shares his insights on how parents can support their children without solely focusing on their achievements. He emphasizes the importance of getting to know who their children are as individuals and celebrating their intrinsic values. By widening the definition of success and instilling intrinsic values, parents can help their children develop self-awareness and confidence. Takeaways "How to reduce academic and athletic pressure on children?" "Signs of mental health issues in young adults due to performance pressure." "Parenting tips to support children's well-being beyond achievements." "How to instill intrinsic values like compassion and kindness in children?" "Ways to help children develop self-awareness and confidence." "Redefining success for children beyond academics and sports" "Celebrating children's intrinsic qualities as a parent. " "Parenting strategies to focus on children's individuality over achievements."

In this conversation, Scott Schimmel discusses the harmful impact of telling young people that they will figure out their path in life, eventually. This mindset is too expensive, as it can lead to wasted time and money in college. Scott also points out that just because it took a long time for some adults to find their passion doesn't mean it will be the same for everyone. Our kids deserve better than feeling hopeless, and they should be guided to discover their identity and make informed decisions about their future. Takeaways How can I guide my kid to find their path without discouraging or demotivating them? How is the "just figure it out" mindset costing me a lot of money? Why is the approach that worked for me not working for my kids? What does it mean to guide my kid to discover their identity and make informed decisions about their future?

Summary In this episode, Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of giving good advice to your children when it comes to their career choices. He shares a personal story of almost giving his son bad advice and emphasizes the need for parents to guide their children through the discernment phase rather than the discovery phase. Scott provides a framework for helping kids make informed decisions and encourages parents to answer important life questions themselves to set an example for their children. Takeaways Should I be cautious about giving my child career advice? How can I focus on guiding them through the discernment phase? What are the differences between the discernment phase and the discovery phase in career planning? How can I effectively support my child's career interests? What are the risks of giving my child career advice based on emotions or guesswork, and how can this impact their happiness and success?

Summary This conversation is about helping kids navigate and narrow down their options for the future. Scott Schimmel discusses the importance of expanding opportunities and exploring different pathways before narrowing down choices. He suggests making a list of successful people and setting up meetings between them and the child to ask questions and gain insight. Scott emphasizes the value of face-to-face conversations and the impact they can have on a child's perspective. The conversation concludes with the importance of debriefing with the child and providing ongoing support. Takeaways How can we help kids explore and expand their options before they begin to narrow down their choices? What is the process for creating a list of successful individuals and setting up meetings for a child to ask questions and gain insights? In what ways can face-to-face conversations provide valuable perspective and clarity? How should one debrief with the child to discuss their thoughts and feelings after the meetings? Why is ongoing support and guidance essential in helping kids find their authentic voice and clarity? Chapters 00:00 Navigating and Narrowing Down Options08:06 Debriefing and Providing Ongoing Support

Resources + Article to read https://www.theyouschool.com/blog/avoid-bias + Article referenced: https://www.theyouschool.com/blog/pursuing-happiness + Video to watch: Episode 90 Don't Tell Your Kids to Be Happy Summary Parents play a crucial role in guiding their children's career choices. However, it is important for parents to avoid passing down their biases to their kids. Unconscious biases can significantly impact the career advice parents give, potentially limiting their children's options. It is essential for parents to be aware of these biases and guide their children through a rational decision-making process. Takeaways Parents should aim to broaden their children's thinking and guide them towards making informed career choices. Parents should be cautious about passing down their biases to their children, as it can limit their options. Unconscious biases can influence career decision-making, and parents should be aware of these biases. Parents should guide their children through a rational decision-making process, allowing them to make autonomous and informed choices. Chapters 00:00 The Role of Parents in Guiding Their Kids' Career Choices 01:02 The Impact of Parental Biases on Career Advice 08:11 Guiding Kids Through Rational Decision-Making

In this insightful conversation, Scott Schimmel explores the complex dynamics of parenting, particularly as children transition into adulthood. Drawing from his 20 years of experience working with young adults and his personal journey as a parent, Scott delves into the challenges parents face in balancing their aspirations for their children's success with the necessity of fostering their independence and resilience. Takeaways: Parents struggle between wanting their child's success and ensuring their self-sufficiency. Pushing children to overcome challenges is key to their development. The temptation to steer children towards safer paths increases as they near adulthood. Embracing the potential for failure is essential for children's growth and fulfillment. Supporting children's passions, despite financial risks, prioritizes fulfillment over material success. Balancing support and freedom allows children to develop independence and resilience.

Summary The conversation explores the concept of the 'romantic lie' and how it influences our aspirations and career choices. It emphasizes the importance of examining our motivations and pursuing a life that aligns with our authentic selves. Takeaways We often pursue things because we perceive others wanting them, leading to the 'romantic lie' where we believe we autonomously choose our pursuits. The influence of others, including family, peers, and society, can shape our aspirations and career choices. By engaging in guided reflection and conversation, we can uncover the deeper motivations behind our pursuits. Building an authentic life requires aligning our interests, values, and desires with our aspirations.

Summary The conversation discusses the impact of constantly asking kids how they feel and the potential negative effects on their happiness. It then transitions into guiding young people in exploring their future and career choices. The concept of happiness as a poor indicator of the right path is explored, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing values. The chapter on satisfaction highlights the value of working hard and learning new skills. Finally, the conversation concludes with the importance of contributing to a cause and making a difference. Takeaways Constantly asking kids how they feel can lead to a focus on immediate emotions and hinder long-term happiness. When guiding young people in exploring their future and career, it is important to prioritize values and consider factors beyond happiness. Happiness is a poor indicator of being on the right path, and satisfaction should be valued more. Working hard, learning new skills, and contributing to a cause can lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment. Prioritizing values and making a difference in the lives of others can have a longer-lasting impact than seeking immediate happiness.

Summary In this conversation, Scott Schimmel discusses the process of figuring out what to do in life. He shares his experience with personality and talent assessments and how he developed cynicism towards them. He then introduces a different kind of assessment that focuses on recalling achievements and accomplishments. Scott explains the importance of breaking down contributions to these achievements and how understanding one's motivated abilities can be a transformative experience. He emphasizes the significance of finding patterns and themes in one's life and using them as a lens to make decisions. Scott concludes by encouraging listeners to figure out their unique motivation patterns and pursue them. Takeaways Personality and talent assessments may not always provide accurate insights into one's true motivations and abilities. Recalling achievements and accomplishments can help identify patterns and themes in one's life. Understanding one's motivated abilities can provide a different perspective on figuring out what to do in life. Bringing one's unique motivation pattern into different situations can lead to a more fulfilling and impactful life.

Summary Many parents are concerned about their mid to late-20s children who lack drive and initiative and are struggling to find their way in terms of career and life. Underemployment is a significant issue, with over half of college graduates working in fields unrelated to their degrees. This not only affects their earnings potential but also their sense of competence and autonomy. Early intervention is crucial to prevent long-term underemployment and the associated negative impact on self-esteem and hope. It is important for individuals to make informed choices based on their own interests and passions rather than succumbing to external pressure. The problem of underemployment is growing and requires proactive solutions. Takeaways Many individuals in their mid to late 20s struggle to find their way in terms of career and life, leading to concerns from parents. Underemployment is a significant issue, with over half of college graduates working in fields unrelated to their degrees. Underemployment not only affects earnings potential but also has a negative impact on self-esteem and hope for the future. Early intervention and guidance are crucial to prevent long-term underemployment and help individuals find clarity and purpose.

Summary In this conversation, Scott Schimmel discusses the difference between change and transition. He explains that while change refers to specific events or circumstances, transition encompasses the emotional and psychological process surrounding the change. Schimmel emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing the multiple stages of transition, including the loss and letting go that often accompany change. Neglecting to acknowledge and process these emotions can lead to anxiety and hinder clear thinking. He recommends embracing both the sadness and excitement of transition and giving equal attention to expressing and letting go of the past while looking forward to the future. Takeaways Change and transition are distinct concepts, with transition encompassing the emotional and psychological process surrounding a change. Transition involves multiple stages, including loss, letting go, and grieving. Neglecting to address the emotional side of transition can lead to anxiety and hinder clear thinking. Embracing both the sadness and excitement of transition is crucial for integration and mental health.

Summary The conversation explores the challenges of finding clarity and making decisions about the future. It delves into the power of comparison and how it can both help and hinder personal growth. The comparison trap is discussed, highlighting the adverse effects of comparing oneself to others. The influence of peers and the pressure to present an idealized version of oneself in the college admissions process is examined. The conversation also touches on the impact of comparison in professional life and the importance of intentional reflection. Takeaways Finding clarity can be challenging, but it is essential for making informed decisions about the future. Comparison can be a powerful tool for learning and growth, but it can also lead to feelings of overwhelm and confusion. The comparison trap can distract and discourage individuals, preventing them from staying true to themselves. Authenticity is crucial in the college admissions process, and presenting a genuine self is more important than trying to impress others. Comparison in professional life can lead to feelings of inadequacy and hinder personal growth. Reflecting on comparison and being intentional about the models of life one chooses to emulate is important for personal development. There is a fine line between healthy comparison that inspires and unhealthy comparison that discourages.

Summary The conversation explores young people's challenges in finding meaningful work and transitioning to adulthood. It challenges the idea that significance should only be pursued later in life and emphasizes the importance of serving others for personal happiness. The chapter titles and themes cover the search for meaningful work, transitioning from success to significance, the connection between serving others and happiness, balancing self-sufficiency and serving others, exploring career paths to serve others, earning money while doing good, and living a life of service. Takeaways - Young people often struggle to find meaningful work and transition to adulthood. - The pursuit of significance should not be delayed until later in life. Serving others leads to personal happiness. - There are numerous career paths that allow individuals to serve others and earn a living.