This Grit and Grace Life

The process of forgiveness and reconciliation is a two-way street, and both parties are equally responsible for putting in the work to restore the relationship. Yes, even if you were the one wronged! In part two in this miniseries on forgiveness to reconciliation, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss the four steps of making amends and emphasize the importance of approaching each one with humility. Whether you've been wronged or have wronged someone else, you must set aside your pride and commit to rebuilding trust, whatever that might look like for your situation. It's certainly not easy, but when done with sincere intentions (and often with the aid of outside counseling), the process of reconciliation can become a powerful example of peacemaking. Quote of the episode: “You're going to find true peacemaking to be way more effective and way more fruitful if you're willing to put in the work.”—Julie Bender Resources Mentioned Join the Re|engage Marriage Enrichment and Restoration course The Peacemaking Process graphic: Related "If You're Tired of Resentment Living Rent-Free in Your Heart – 259" "Forgiveness Is the Key to Living a Bitter-Free Life" Check out the Smart Living book series here, and be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Forgiveness is a radical act—it's not about holding someone's offense over their head like a debt, and it's also not about forgetting what they've done. So what is forgiveness in and of itself? In part one of two in this miniseries on forgiveness to reconciliation, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender debunk several misconceptions around what real forgiveness entails, revealing a much simpler approach that removes the pressure and pain normally associated with it. You'll learn how your relationship with God plays a critical role in truly forgiving someone and a sample prayer that you can use when you're not sure where to start. We've also included a graphic of the prayer below—scroll down to screenshot and save it for easy reference. Join us next week for part two of the series, where Darlene and Julie unpack the process of reconciliation. Quote of the episode: “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5: 23-24). Resources Mentioned Join the Re|engage Marriage Enrichment and Restoration course The Forgiveness Prayer (F-R-E-E) Face the truth of the sins against you and grieve the hurt Release your wounds to God and ask for healing Entrust your claims for justice to God Exalt God for offering peace through Christ to all Related "Forgiveness Is the Key to Living a Bitter-Free Life" "Why You Need to Forgive When Forgiveness Seems Impossible" "My Parents' Murder-Suicide and the Road to Forgiveness with Tracy Brandt – 208" "If You're Tired of Resentment Living Rent-Free in Your Heart – 259" Check out the Smart Living book series here, and be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

We tend to gloss over the intention behind Memorial Day each year as we prep for a long weekend full of good food, games, and time at the beach. But to be clear: We wouldn't be able to enjoy any of those things without others' sacrifices. To keep this truth top of mind as we approach the holiday weekend, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender walk through the history of the national holiday and share the startling numbers of those lost in recent wars. There is a depth and gravity to the topic that's worthy of honor and remembrance, including the first recorded Memorial Day celebration in which former slaves from Charleston, South Carolina, gathered to honor the Union soldiers lost during the war in 1865. If you've felt removed from the reason for Memorial Day, we urge you to take a listen to this short but meaningful podcast episode. Quote of the episode: “We should honor and remember the sacrifice of those who have [answered the call to go off and fight a war], and even immensely more those who have given their lives on the battlefield.”—Julie Bender Resources Related Learn more about how the Wounded Warrior Project honor and supports veterans Mentioned Read more about the first recorded Memorial Day celebration here Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

"Wives, submit to your husbands..." Ladies, how do you feel about this command? If you're like us, it may throw you off, or even make you feel a little defiant. We approach life differently than men, but we're still equal—which is probably why we tend to bristle when we read or hear this verse in Ephesians 5. The problem is this that "submitting to your husband" is often misinterpreted as "obey your husband without question," both by our current society and not-so-well-meaning individuals past and present. In this podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share the context around this Bible verse and the real meaning of the word "submit." You'll also learn how to shed the negative connotation around the word with practical ways to honor the command in your own marriage—in a way that also honors you. Quote of the episode: “Submission is not like the obedience of a child. To our shame, some men think of their wives as a sort of first child who should obey them. That's not what the Bible teaches. A wife's submission is voluntary to a man who loves her. Rather than submit, the better word is she should respond to her husband.”—J. Vernon McGhee Resources *If you're a victim of verbal or emotional abuse, please visit this page for support. Mentioned Read more from J. Vernon McGhee here Listen to Julie recount her experience and lessons from her first marriage: "Julie Graham's Untold Story of Heartbreak, Healing and Hope – 101" Read Abigail's story here Grab your copy of Julie's book, When Marriage Is Hard, here Related Check out the Smart Living book series here! "If Your Nagging Makes You Tired Too - 254" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Doubt your impact as a mother (or a mother figure)? Don't—and we'll tell you why. In this special Mother's Day week episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender dissect the complicated role of being a mom. With days that are challenging, rewarding, or a heavy mixture of both, motherhood may incite guilt or prompt you to question whether you're doing anything right. The good news? If you're doing your best, you're absolutely doing it right. Darlene and Julie share their own personal motherhood anecdotes and offer encouragement for those days when you feel exhausted and uncertain. You have a bond with your child that can't be replicated in any of their other relationships. Even when you're not sure your child hears you or understands you or agrees with you, the way you show them your love will be the thread tying you together even in the most difficult seasons. Quote of the episode: “Even when you're messing up, it's important to remember that God put you here with this child for a reason for a season for a purpose.”—Julie Bender Resources Related "I Made a Change—and It Brought My Prodigal Home" "How Do We Handle the Messiness of Motherhood? with Laila Schell - 168" "A Little Encouragement with Motherhood Is Disappointing" Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

If you've ever been turned down by a crush, passed up for a promotion, or dismissed by a parent, you've felt the sting of rejection. And if left unchecked, that pain can surface and cause harm to our other relationships. In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender are joined by Dr. Gary Lawrence, the founder and director of New Life Dynamics Christian Counseling Ministries, to talk about the impact of rejection and how to overcome its stronghold. Through the retelling of his own personal stories, Dr. Gary reveals how early rejection can form a root of bitterness that negatively impacts our interactions as we age. But we're not without hope. He also shares practical steps for recognizing the source of our pain and breaking the cycle so we don't break our relationships. Dr. Gary Lawrence is the founder and director of New Life Dynamics Christian Counseling Ministries, and author of his bestselling book, Rejection Junkies. After 20 years as the host of his own radio show, Life Mastery Counseling with Dr. G, Dr. G has personally met with and coached more than 6,000 clients and has inspired thousands more on radio, television, and stage. Dr. G specializes on breaking down the damaging effects of rejection and the way in which this trauma manifests throughout all phases of life. In Rejection Junkies, Dr. G helps readers to recognize the circumstances that hold them hostage, keeping them stuck, and making them bitter. Quote of the episode: “If God is for us, who can ever be against us?”—Romans 8:31 Resources Related "The Beauty of Rejection—Creating a Stronger You" "Forgiveness Is the Key to Living a Bitter-Free Life" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Buy your copy of Dr. Gary's book, Rejection Junkies, here Take Dr. Gary's free rejection assessment here Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Do you ever wonder why we named our podcast Smart Living with Grit and Grace? Or what "grit and grace" actually means when used in tandem? Maybe you're just curious to know how smart living can change your life. Darlene and Julie are taking it back to the basics in this episode, chatting through the origin story of our nonprofit, Grit and Grace Life, and the mission God placed on Darlene's heart to create a space where women could feel seen and encouraged and gain wisdom through life's highs and lows by hearing other women's stories. They also break down what we mean by the phrases "smart living" and "grit and grace," defining and unpacking the intention behind each word. Whether you're new to our wonderful, welcoming side of the internet or you've been around with us for the last 10 years, we hope this episode re-centers your understanding not only of why Grit and Grace Life exists, but how the literal values of "grit" and "grace" can shift the way you experience the world as a woman of faith. Quote of the episode: “It's in us; that innate grit is in women, and we want to break that out, encourage it, mold it, and allow it to shine.”—Julie Bender Resources Related "Beginning Faith: Walking This Life with Grit, Grace, and God" "Bible Verses from the Grit and Grace Team on Grace" "A Woman's Grit Is Her Best Asset for Success" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Check our some of our most popular articles below: "How Do I Know What Defines Me?" "5 Ways I Learned to Love My Middle-Aged Body" "Annoyed by Interruptions? My Trick for Welcoming Them" "How to Practice Peace When the World Feels Chaotic" "Do You Feel Abandoned by God?" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

We'll take a guess and say that your calendar, like ours, is booked with Sunday services, Easter brunches, and egg hunting this weekend. And all for good reason: It gives us many opportunities to rejoice with loved ones in the eternal hope Jesus secured for us through the resurrection. So in the spirit of celebrating Easter with our friends and family, Darlene and Julie take a closer look at the life of the ultimate relationship expert: Jesus! The Lord changed lives not only after his resurrection but during his years walking among us, and we have much to gain by reflecting on the many interactions he had with others. In this episode, Darlene and Julie discuss: the beauty in Jesus gathering 12 disciples, who were each so different in their work and their temperaments how he met people's needs with care and compassion in even the briefest encounters the way he returned to his friends after the resurrection to offer forgiveness to Peter, faith to Thomas, and a promise to see them all again We hope this glimpse into Jesus' conversations and interactions offers a glowing example of how we can show up in our relationships—both this Easter and in the years to come. Quote of the episode: “As personal as Jesus was with his followers, he is that personal with us, individually, today." —Julie Bender Resources Related "Would Jesus Unfriend You?" "Is Easter the Ultimate Call to Action? - 237" "This Is What Jesus Said About Equality for Women" Mentioned "Beginning Faith: Walking This Life with Grit, Grace, and God" "Building Faith: Growing In Your Relationship with God" "How to Read Your Bible: For Beginners" "Easter, the Best Love Story Ever Told" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

One of the few certainties in life is also one of the things we fear most: change. Change—whether expected or not—can instill fear in us due to the mere fact that what lies beyond it is unknown; we might see it as a threat to our purpose, safety, and comfort. But instead of fearing change, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender reason that it's only frightening because we default to what can go wrong instead of what can go right. Change might be just what you need. In this podcast episode, they challenge you to shift your perspective to embrace change and all the opportunities it can present. They'll walk through some scenarios (think a new job or the end of a relationship) where change can offer more clarity and new areas for growth. And if you're still on the fence about change, let us leave you with food for thought: If you've encountered life changes before and you're reading this today, that means you overcame them, and you're capable of doing it again. Quote of the episode: “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." —Winston Churchill Resources Related "I Changed My Mind; Change Can Be the Right Thing to Do" "Challenges to Conquer? All You Need Is a Growth Mindset" Mentioned "If You Want Your Goals to Reflect Your Priorities - 266" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

We have no tricks up our sleeves with this April Fool's Day podcast—just wisdom to guide you along your grit and grace life. (But it might be foolish if you choose to skip this episode!) The mark of a foolish person is one who carries on with life without learning to discern the different between fact and fiction, wisdom and folly. Even automobile magnate Henry Ford suggested as much: "The only real mistake we make is the one from which we learn nothing." Darlene Brock and Julie Bender take it one step further in this episode, offering 5 common life mistakes to avoid altogether. Some of these you may not have experienced yet; others you may repeatedly encounter. All the more reason to prepare for them now—you'll know exactly what to do when the moment arrives! Quote of the episode: “We're all going to make mistakes, but we do not have to be fools about it.” —Darlene Brock Resources Related "You'll Find More Freedom When You Learn to Say No" "6 Tips to Keep Your Dreams Alive When Life Gets Busy" "Am I Worth More than a Penny?" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Pornography is one of the most prevalent forms of addiction—something that can sneak into your home, under your nose, unnoticed. And those who are most susceptible to the dangers? Your kids. Think about it—if there's a TV or internet in your home, porn is there too. And as your child uses either of these (think research for a school projects), it's inevitable they will stumble across pornographic content as some point. With children's and teens' natural curiosity at work, how do we protect them? In this podcast episode, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share advice for approaching the subject of pornography with your child in a way that reflects their maturity and current stage of life. It helps to have a plan in place for navigating these admittedly awkward and uncomfortable discussions, so they offer helpful conversation starters and segues, book recommendations, and more to give you the edge in protecting your children from porn. Quote of the episode: “Turn my eyes from worthless things and give me life through your word.” —Psalm 119:37 Resources Related "The Good Christian Girl Who Struggled with Porn" Mentioned Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. Good Pictures Bad Pictures Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Want to pray more but not sure where to start? Prayer is a wonderful, powerful privilege that gives us instant connection to the God of the universe. But, if we're honest, it can also feel a bit daunting. Historical images of prayer, both literal and figurative, give off the impression that our communication with God should be deeply rooted in religious formality. You know the kind: kneeling with our heads bowed and hands delicately clasped together. Not only is that kind of prayer often difficult to achieve with modern time constraints, but it doesn't fully capture the kind of 'open-24-hours' communication that God desires with us. In this podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss what prayer is: "life in constant communion and conversation with God." They debunk common stereotypes around prayer and share easy-to-follow prayer structures for the times when you're unsure of where to start or what to say. There's power in any kind of prayer, anywhere—and God delights in hearing from us every single time. Quote of the episode: “God cares about what we care about and wants us to talk to him about it.” —Darlene Brock Resources Related "Remember When God Showed Up for You? Write That Down" "How to Be a Praying Parent Throughout Your Child's Life" "How to Pray (When You Feel Like You Don't Know How)" Mentioned Check out these 4 prayer apps! Pray! (FREE in the iTunes App Store). Sets reminders, notifies you to pray at scheduled times. Prayer Prompter (FREE in the iTunes App Store). Gives Bible verses and prayer prompts if you're not sure how to get started. Instapray (FREE in the iTunes App Store). For a more interactive/social option: You can see global requests and let people know when you're praying for them. Ora (FREE in the iTunes App Store). This app is similar to Instapray minus the global component. Good for organizing prayer requests for groups you're a part of in real life. Try one of these prayer structures: The Lord's Prayer ACTS Prayer Model The PRAY Method Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

The one thing most people fear more than death? Public speaking.¹ There's something about standing in front of another person (or multiple people) and sharing our thoughts, ideas, and feedback that makes us want to shrink until we evaporate. But sometimes, neglecting to speak up for yourself can have harmful repercussions. Here to help you see past your fear this week is Darlene Brock and Julie Bender, who get to work excavating the possible reasons why speaking up is so terrifying. Maybe you've often been ignored, or never taken seriously, or you feel you'll come across as foolish (hello, imposter syndrome!). No matter the reason, one thing is for certain: there will be a void left by what you're not saying. Darlene and Julie discuss the myriad benefits of speaking up for yourself: setting critical boundaries; encouraging others; making life-changing connections; and more. When we choose to say what's on our hearts and minds, even when it's hard or we doubt ourselves, we're affording those around us not only with new information to chew on, but a reminder of our presence and impact. ¹https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/what-we-fear-more-than-death  Quote of the episode: “Someone not hearing you might say more about them as a listener than you as a speaker.” —Julie Bender Resources Related "Establishing Healthy Boundaries in the Grit and Grace Life" "Are You Afraid to Speak Up When Others Disagree? - 224" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

How is your future looking right now? If what you're envisioning feels bleak, let us offer some encouragement. Hope often flies right out the door as soon as life starts to unravel differently than we planned. Your kids drop out of college. Your spouse is distant. You haven't been promoted at work in years. When reality doesn't match the vision, what can we look forward to? In this episode of Smart Living in Small Bites, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender unpack ways to find hope in the mundane. It may require work on your end, like cutting back in certain areas to prioritize what's needed to reach your goals. More often than not, holding on to hope simply calls for believing God's promise in Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And if you're wondering when God will come through, take comfort in knowing it'll be in his timing—which means it has yet to happen and you already have something to hope for. While you practice staying hopeful, meditate on this nugget of wisdom Darlene shares: "Hope doesn't exist without deprivation, need and lack." What we're lacking now gives us a reason to look forward to our future with optimism and become better versions of ourselves along the way. Quote of the episode: “When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on.” —Theodore Roosevelt Resources Related "Hope Feels Out of Reach—What Now?" "When Hope Is Your Bravest Choice" "5 Ways to Hold Onto Hope In Radical Uncertainty" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

You've dreamt of wearing a billowy white dress and floating down the aisle to your prince charming since you were 5. Fast forward several years, and the man you love is doing everything but committing to making that dream a reality. Maybe you've been dating for years and are losing hope that a proposal will ever come, or you are engaged, but his promise of marriage feels empty and conversations around setting a date have stalled out. What do you do? In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender talk about the current cultural view of marriage and the difficulties you may face in broaching your situation with an eye for the truth. If there hasn't been any movement forward with your boyfriend/fiance, Darlene and Julie provide a series of questions to ask yourself that will help you honestly assess the quality of your relationship and determine whether or not he's comfortable in staying uncommitted. You'll then learn how to confidently approach him with your concerns and make a decision on how you want to move forward, based on his response. This has been one of the most-searched subject on the Grit and Grace Life website for years, so we have plenty of wise advice in this episode—and resources below—to help you make a decision on your future when your partner is dragging his feet. Quote of the episode: “A man knows if you're the woman he wants to marry within a year.” —Dr. Zoe Resources Related "Is Your Man a Never-Fiancé, Forever-Fiancé, or The One?" "Is Marriage Just a Piece of Paper? Or Is It Something More?" "Why Hasn't Your Boyfriend Proposed or Set the Date? with Dr. Zoe Shaw - 180" "Ask Dr. Zoe – My Boyfriend Hasn't Proposed but Wants Me to Wear a Ring. Should I?" Mentioned Take our "Why Hasn't He Proposed?" quiz here! Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Don't know what to do for spring break? That means it's time to decide how you really want to spend that time off: planning and prepping for a week-long getaway someplace far away, or catching your breath with a few relaxing days at home with your family? If 2025 has been a busy year for you (or if saving money is top of mind), you'll likely opt for the latter. But there's no reason a staycation can't be as inspired as a destination trip. In fact, there are ways to make it more wholesome than you might expect. In this podcast episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender explain how a distraction-free staycation can strengthen your bond with your kids and keep them inspired. We'll let you in on a little secret: You have to let them be bored. But don't worry—Darlene and Julie list off more than a dozen memorable activities that will keep your kids entertained all day and maybe even spark a new hobby along the way. Spend a little downtime at home or hit up some local attractions with these recommendations, and you'll make this spring break one your kids will never forget. Quote of the episode: “Seek to make memories, to strengthen your relationships, to put the distractions out and just focus on connecting with your kids.” —Julie Bender Resources Related "The 6 Best Spring Break Vacations to Take This Year" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

When we think of Valentine's Day, our thoughts often gravitate toward images of men purchasing giant teddy bears and bouquets of roses for the woman they love. As nice as that is, it's a bit commercialized, and love deserves so much more intention—and recipients! Darlene Brock and Julie Bender want to challenge you to think outside the box this year. Who else can you show love to aside from your significant other? Your friends? Jesus? Maybe even yourself? In this podcast episode, Darlene and Julie share small yet touching ways you can let those special individuals in your life know just how much they mean to you—without paying top dollar for a Hallmark card. Quote of the episode: “And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” —Colossians 3:14 Resources Related "How to Show Your Adult Children You Love Them" "The 3-Day Rule: My Mother-in-Law's Secret to a Healthy Marriage" "Take Your Friendships to Another Level with a Heartfelt Dinner Party" Mentioned Check out Julie's "Praying for Your Husband Daily" series here Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Has it been a while since you heard from God? Does it feel like ages since you've seen his goodness or felt the Holy Spirit stirring? Distance from God is one of the most frustrating things we can experience as women of faith. We wonder where he's gone and why he would ignore the children he loves. The uncomfortable truth? The onus may be on us—and if it's not us, it's God trying to help us grow in our faith. Yes, even in the 'silence'! In this podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender reveal the ways we may be holding back the lines of communication with God and how we can draw close to him in spite of feeling distant. You'll also learn how God may be trying to stretch you in your faith so you can grow in wisdom. Your relationship with God will ebb and flow, just like any other relationship. And like those relationships, you keep them strong by repeatedly showing up. God will show up too—in his timing. Quote of the episode: “There are seasons that are really hard. There are battles he's asking you to fight with his strength and then there are battles he'll fight for you.” —Darlene Brock Resources Related "If God Feels Distant, Move Closer—Here's How" "When You Feel Lost, God Will Find You" Mentioned Read our faith series: Beginning Faith | Building Faith | Battered Faith Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Shoot straight with us for a minute: Did you set any goals at the start of this year? If you answered 'no,' we're right there with you. After all, weren't we all just trying to get settled back in after the holidays? Now that we are settled in, it's the perfect time to revisit any changes you may have wanted to make this year. In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share five priorities that would benefit from having structure backed by a goal: home, health, habits & happiness, heart and holiness. Darlene and Julie unpack myriad ways to simplify your life and inject small changes that will reinvigorate your home, health, and relationships. Many of these tips are small and simple enough to put into practice today, so you can change your life without skipping a beat. Quote of the episode: “Goals are ultimately the things that are going to give us some clarity on our priorities.” —Julie Bender Resources Related "Why It's So Important to Have a Mentor and Be One Too" "I Love to Read, So Why Is It So Hard to Open My Bible?" "If You Want to Get Healthy, Do These 5 Things" Mentioned "If Your Clutter Is Driving You Crazy" - 263 A Year of Self-Care: Daily Practices and Inspiration for Caring for Yourself by Dr. Zoe Sign up for Pastor Steve Wiggins' online Bible study here Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Do you wish you had someone who could guide you through life? An experienced person who willingly shares their wisdom and insight to help you navigate every crossroads you approach? If so, we're happy to say we know just what you're looking for: a mentor. The Mr. Miyagi to your Karate Kid! In this Smart Living with Grit and Grace podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share the value in mentorship, how to actually find a mentor, and which areas of mentorship you might want to consider. Whether you're looking for someone to divulge their tips, tricks, and secrets to confidence in motherhood, having a rock-solid marriage, or working your dream job, a mentor is the best place to start. They'll ideally be experienced in a subject-specific area and have your best interests in mind. Just keep in mind that mentorship comes with equal doses of advice and constructive criticism. Make sure you're ready for feedback of any kind—while it may be a hard pill to swallow in the moment, it'll help you grow in the direction you want to be!   Quote of the episode: “Walk with the wise and become wise. Associate with fools and get in trouble .” —Proverbs 13:20 Resources Related "Why It's So Important to Have a Mentor and Be One Too" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Life offers an endless rotation of surprises, so the only thing not surprising is our desire for order—often in the form of control. When we believe we can control what goes on around us, we can somewhat come to terms with the way our lives unfold. But controlling everything is impossible, and when we make that our aim, consciously or not, it can leave us on edge and erode our relationships. In this podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss all the areas we might find hard to control—our tongues, our children, our appetite for more—and when our desire for control inches into dangerous territory. If you brand yourself a control freak, or if others around you suggest as much, you'll learn some tips for reining in your tendency to control your circumstances so you can begin to graciously accept your life for what it is—ups and downs included.   Quote of the episode: “Your way isn't the only way, and it may not even be the best one.” —Julie Bender Resources Related "How to Control Your Feelings So They Don't Control You" with Dr. Zoe - 247 "Grasping for Control? A Counselor Explains How to Stop" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

If you've been putting it off, consider this podcast episode as a sign to clean up your clutter! As we get swept up in the busyness of life, we inadvertently let things accumulate. We outgrow our clothes or forget the items we've once loved and the gifts we've been given. Over time, we stash these items away to make room for new stuff we need or want. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Sadly, no. These items tend to pile up, consuming space in our homes and in the back of our minds. If you're ready to free up that space and finally tackle that pile in the corner that's been haunting you for months, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender can advise on where and how to start. In this episode, they talk through how you can define 'clutter' and share a series of questions designed to help you determine whether you should truly hold onto something or toss it. They also dish on some cleaning perks that will keep you motivated. If you still need a little extra push, consider Darlene's clutter-cleaning mantra: "I live in a home, not a storage unit." Quote of the episode: “If you want to improve your life immediately, clean out a closet. Often what we hold onto holds us back.” —Cheryl Richardson Resources Related "Tips to Declutter Your Life and Mind in the New Year" "Is It Just Clutter Or Is It a Hoarding Disorder?" "Conquering Clutter Will Reveal the Things that Matter" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Forget setting goals and drafting New Year's resolutions. We're making 2025 about you—more specifically, your character. Who do you want to be this year? Every season of life (new years included) allow us the opportunity to evaluate our priorities, how much we've grown and where we want to see ourselves in another 365 days. Is it in the same place you're at now? Most likely, the answer is no. In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss the importance of using this time to reassess our character and the changes we may need to make in our lives right now to bring our long-term goals to pass. They offer several rhetorical questions that will prompt you to ponder the type of person you want to be in 2025. Then, they share a list of traits ideal for building or refining your character, along with some advice on how to begin implementing them. If you're ready to craft a new you in 2025, settle in and press play! Quote of the episode: "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation." —Romans 5:3-5 Resources Related Need to Reset, Redo or Restart This Year? Here's How – 231 "Forget New Year's Resolutions—Small Changes Are All We Need" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

In this season of "tidings of great joy," what if joy doesn't come easily to you? As women of faith, there's an unspoken expectation that we should live in a constant state of joy, that it should be the lens with which we view our lives and circumstances. Although the Bible states we aren't of the world, we are still in it, which means our perception of joy is often colored by the world's ideals—namely, success, status and money. But there's more to real joy. In this Smart Living podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share how we can cultivate the joy we should have access to as women of faith, which looks like: Spending time with family and in community Spending time in scripture Doing what bring you joy instead of the things you believe you should be doing Giving money, time, or support Surrounding ourselves with color Moving our bodies And if you're still struggling to reach a place of true joy, Darlene and Julie underscore the importance of getting honest with God and telling him how you feel. If there's anything or anyone that can help you rediscover joy at Christmas (and all year long), it's him! Quote of the episode: "You make known to me the path of life. You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures in your right hand." —Psalm 16:11 Resources Related Finding Happiness In an Unhappy World - 210 "How to Find Joy Even When Your Circumstances Hurt" Mentioned Read Randy Alcorn's book, Happiness, here Click here to discover where you can watch "The Chosen" Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Life is better with friends. There's just something remarkably special about finding a person (or a few) out of billions in the world who can belly laugh with you over a meal or willingly be at your side in a time of grief. Friendships are mostly easy, but healthy ones still require some work! In this Smart Living with Grit and Grace podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender dive into two important discussions on this topic: building strong friendships and navigating ones that are fizzling out. For the former, you'll discover five ways to set your friendship up for success (hint: it takes selflessness and being generous with your time), fun activities that allow for quality time together, and how to apply the principles of friendship to your marriage. For the latter, Darlene and Julie chat through the seasons of life that can unwittingly end a friendship and how to approach it with grace. Whether you have the same group of gals in your circle or are grieving the end of a friendship, this is a must-listen-to episode. Quote of the episode: "A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity." —Proverbs 17:17 Resources Related "Take Your Friendships to Another Level with a Heartfelt Dinner Party" "As My Friend List Shrinks, I Love How It Deepens" "How to Use the 5 Love Languages for Strong Friendships" "9 Qualities You Need In a Good Friend" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

The sibling that got away with everything. The coworker that scored your promotion. The "friend" who stopped including you in group conversations. We're all familiar with resentment, and the mutated ball of anger, hurt, disgust and annoyance it leaves in the pit of our stomachs. Whether someone outright betrayed you or you were inadvertently treated unfairly, resentment can slowly creep into your heart and rob you of joy and gratitude. It's a human response, but a dangerous one if left to fester. In today's episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss how resentment can erode our relationships and our ability to trust. They also unpack an 8-step checklist designed to help us assess the situation fairly and avoid resentment's slippery slope: Acknowledge what you're feeling Talk about it with someone you trust Own up to your part in the situation Consider your expectations Develop conflict-resolution skills Journal Practice forgiveness Look to Scripture You may not be able to restore a healthy relationship with the person who wronged you, but you can arrive at a place where bitterness no longer has a hold on you. All the tools you need to do that are in this episode! Quote of the episode: "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." —Saint Augustine Resources Related "How to Forgive a Friend Who Betrays You" "Forgiveness Is the Key to Living a Bitter-Free Life" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Colossians 3:13 - "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

"You'll never know unless you try" is sound advice to soothe our doubts. But doubt doesn't always come with ulterior motives; sometimes, it's merely a cautionary measure meant to protect us. So how do you decipher the root of your doubt? Smart Living with Grit and Grace co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender answer that question with several actionable steps to help you work through your doubt and determine its purpose. Whether you're struggling with self-doubt, doubting others, or even doubting God's promises, rushing into the next season or next step to move past it could result in missed opportunities or even dangers if not properly considered. Let your doubt inform you, but don't let it control you. Quote of the episode: "Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will." —Suzy Kassem Resources Related "Grit and Grace When You Doubt Your Faith" "Doubt Your Influence? We Don't and Here's Why - 124" "To the Mom Who Is Starting to Doubt Herself" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

It's usually early- to mid-fall when we hear others expressing a desire to fast forward through the season and jump right into the holidays. The year has been too long, too hard, too unforgiving. Wouldn't it be better to skip right to the Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities and brush all our complications behind us (at least until the New Year)? The fast forward button isn't a thing—at least not yet—so you're better off focusing on the good in each day. In fact, studies show that just a few minutes of practicing gratitude each day reaps numerous health benefits—stress relief, reduced depression, and better sleep among them. In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender offer hope for the woman looking for a reason to be thankful. Darlene vulnerably reveals the small but bright moments that carried her through her young daughter's hospitalization years ago, and together, the duo shares the benefits of committing to daily gratitude practices, such as journaling or vocally expressing your appreciation for big and small joys alike, even in seasons of hardship. It may feel forced initially, but over time, you'll find your perspective shifting to see the highlight of each day, rather than the lows. And those will cultivate a heart that rests in gratitude. Quote of the episode: "Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song." —Psalm 95:1-2 Resources Related "30-Day Gratitude Challenges Are Selling Us Short" "Keeping a Record of Gratitude Can Change Your Life" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Grab a copy of Julie's Smart Living book, When Marriage Is Hard, here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

We don't need research studies to tell us we're stressed (although they do, and frequently—a 2021 Gallup poll found that 41% of adults worldwide experience a lot of stress). We feel it everywhere: demanding hours and clients at work; raising kids; the news; the ever-ending list of things to do—the list goes on. Are you ready to leave stress behind? We've got you covered! In this podcast episode, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender rip off the band-aid: We can't get rid of stress entirely. But we can get a better handle on it by dealing with it in healthier ways. Part of the trick is recognizing when you're stressed; what responses and behaviors you default to when overwhelm takes a hold. Then, when you feel it coming on, implement one or more of these six practical tips for mitigating stress: Take time for self-care. Talk to someone you trust. Get moving. Find the humor. Abstain from social media when necessary. Practice gratitude. As Darlene and Julie chat through each of these tips and their application, you'll find specific combinations and variations that work best with your schedule and emotions to deal with stress head-on. Quote of the episode: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid." —James 14:27 Resources Related "Feeling Stressed Out? Here Are 5 Tips to Stay Calm" "Stop the Holiday Hustle: Celebrate More, Stress Less - 064" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Are you feeling a little aimless at the moment? Perhaps you're in a season of life that has you questioning your purpose. If that sounds frighteningly familiar, don't fret—even the seasons that feel purposeless have a purpose! In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss how to find confidence when you're transitioning into a new stage of life. Starting retirement, getting married, entering motherhood, searching for your next job can all leave you with a fuzzy vision of your purpose and the value you offer. To get you back on track, the duo shares the importance of detaching yourself from your role and learning how to embrace change as an opportunity for a blank slate. You'll also discover how to find meaning in the slow, quiet seasons in between. Quote of the episode: "For I am about to do something new. See? I've already begun. Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness; I will create rivers in a dry wasteland." —Isaiah 43:19 Resources Related "Where Can I Find the Purpose of Life" "Finding Purpose When Another Door Closes" "When Life Changes, Does Your Purpose Change Too?" "How Do I Know What Defines Me?" "Do You Know Your Purpose? It May Surprise You! - 193" Mentioned Check out the Smart Living book series here! Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Do you have a tendency to repeat reminders to those closest to you? Perhaps you feel like you're constantly asking your husband to get off the couch or urging your kids to clean their rooms. While your intentions are good, your delivery may be perceived as nagging. In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender dive into the prickly topic of nagging. It's something many of us would like to think we don't do, but we often innocently fall into the habit. They share the tell-tale signs of nagging, how to uncover the root cause of our repeated requests, and the way we can more clearly and kindly communicate them to those we care about. Quote of the episode: "It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman." —Proverbs 21:19 Resources Related "Marriage Advice That Will Change Things More Than You Think..." "The 3-Day Rule: My Mother-in-Law's Secret to a Happy Marriage"   Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Are you tired of waiting? Maybe you're waiting on a future spouse to walk into your life, sitting in fast food lines that feel anything but, or pining for that dream job opportunity to fall into our laps. We're all excitedly—and usually impatiently—waiting for something. Why do all the good things in life take so long? One could argue those things wouldn't be very good to begin with if they didn't require at some patience, but we think there's more to it. In this episode of Smart Living with Grit and Grace, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss why waiting actually serves us more than immediately getting what we want and how you can purposefully fill the time in between. Quote of the episode: "Everything that is worth waiting for is not always on your timeline." —Darlene Brock Resources Mentioned Click here to buy Julie's book, When Marriage Is Hard Check out the rest of the Smart Living book series here! Related "Dating? Don't Settle for Less with Rebecca St. James - 243" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

The moment we've all been waiting for has finally arrived—the Smart Living in Small Bites book series is officially live and available to purchase on Amazon! If you have experienced (or are still walking through) a challenging life circumstance and wish you could talk with a friend who has been there and understands, look no further. Each book in the series is written by a woman who has experienced that same challenge. These authors detail the difficulties they encountered, the wisdom they gained, and the practical steps they took to find hope and healing so that you might do the same. In this special podcast episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share an inside look at the structure of the books, the first four subjects in the series, and some exciting additional features that are available to you with your purchase, right now. Buy Your Copies Today! When Marriage is Hard Author Julie Bender walks you through her difficult first marriage, applying the lessons learned in her current marriage. She offers an honest picture of common marital challenges and the beauty of committing to working toward their resolutions. This book will help you uncover the steps to face your trials head-on to repair your relationship and rebuild a healthy, resilient marriage for a lifetime.    Click HERE to buy now! When Suicide Touches Your Life Author Darlene Brock shares her story of the devastating loss of her father to suicide. As one who understands the depths of your sorrow, Darlene gently nudges you toward healing and hope. Her words will help you find strength in the face of pain and peace in the chaos left by suicide's wake. She trusts this book will be a guiding light toward healing after a loss like no other. Click HERE to buy now! When Anxiety Won't Let Go Author Caroline Beidler, MSW, takes you on a transformative exploration through her struggle with anxiety and the many ways she learned to flip the script on the challenges it presents. If you feel like your anxiety follows you like a shadow each day, robbing you of healthy relationships, self-worth, and promising opportunities, please know you aren't alone. In this book, you'll learn how to identify your strengths and shift your perspective to uncover a fulfilling life beyond anxiety's clutches. Click HERE to buy now! When Your Past Abuse Still Hurts Author Allison McCormick shares her deeply personal journey toward finding healing and redemption after enduring the haunting effects of childhood sexual abuse.  Allison's story is an invitation to identify the brokenness in your life and develop a path toward freedom. She believes that as you retrace the path of your own story, you will discover the comfort of knowing you are not alone. There is a path that leads to healing. Click HERE to buy now! Resources Mentioned Listen to Darlene's episode on suicide: "When Suicide Touches Your Life - 239" Listen to Julie's episode on her first marriage: "Julie Graham's Untold Story of Heartbreak, Healing and Hope – 101" Listen to Caroline's episode on anxiety: "Addiction Does Not Define You: A Recovery Story with Caroline Beidler – 194" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Exciting changes are in store for This Grit and Grace Life podcast! If you've been with us for a while, you know we launched a new endeavor called Smart Living with Grit and Grace last year and will be releasing an eponymous book series this month (keep your eye on your inbox over the next few days!). Now, we're rebranding the podcast with a new look and feel—and a new name! In this episode, Darlene and Julie share what's in store for the new Smart Living with Grit and Grace podcast: fresh content, shorter episodes, increased frequency and more! You'll learn how they landed on the new name and what topics you can expect in the next few weeks. It's an exciting season for Grit and Grace Life, and we're thrilled to have you along for the ride! Quote of the episode: “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 Resources Mentioned Click here to learn more about the Smart Living in Small Bites series   Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

We're celebrating our 250th podcast episode of This Grit and Grace Life with 26 wise quotes from a literary classic: Louisa May Alcott's Little Women. Whether you've read the novel or not, there's much to be gleaned from the conversations among its four protagonists, the young March sisters. If you need some encouragement in your relationships and goals or need to be reminded of the qualities of a confident woman, take a few minutes to tune into this episode. Darlene and Julie also share their favorite lessons learned from the This Grit and Grace Life podcast archive. Quote of the episode: “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” James 1:5 Resources Click HERE to download a printable PDF copy of this episode's Little Women quotes! Mentioned Little Women by Louisa May Alcott The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Armadale by Wilkie Collins Henry IV, Part 1 by William Shakespeare Dolly Dialogues by Anthony Hope Eric by Terry Pratchett Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen A Woman of No Importance by Oscar Wilde Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

How do you respond when you see a child with special needs? Most of us fall into one of two camps: We either choose to engage or we look the other way. But choosing to engage is always the right answer. Russ and Gail Ewell will tell you the same thing. After dealing with judgment and unsolicited advice from others on how to raise their two special needs children, the couple decided the best way to inform others was to educate and integrate. In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Russ and Gail explain the importance of addressing misconceptions and cutting through the discomfort around special needs and building a community around those with special needs instead. The couple created a series of inclusive programs that unite special needs and typical kids to forge friendships, grace and understanding for a lifetime, and they discuss how, in addition to inclusive programming, we can all support those with special needs. Russ and Gail Ewell have been married for 35 years and are the proud parents of adult children with special needs. They have been leading ministry together at Bay Area Christian Church for three decades. Russ, a minister for more than 40 years, serves as the Executive Minister at BACC, where his teaching is rooted in providing hope for those turned off by tradition. Gail is the Lead Women's Minister at BACC and serves as the executive director of Hope Technology School, a nationally recognized full-inclusion school in Palo Alto, California, which she and Russ founded together.   Quote of the episode: “You only benefit from inclusion; you don't get hurt.” —Gail Ewell Resources Mentioned Exceptional Sports (E-Sports) programs Start Your Own E-Program E-life.org Spiritual Resource Ministry Manual Digital Scribbler Russ Ewell's website Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

When it comes to battling life's challenges, the odds are rarely in our favor. We might feel as though we're putting forth a ton of effort into making our circumstances better, only to find we didn't make much headway after all. It feels like a far cry from the life God designed for us to live, but it doesn't have to be. In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss new ways to approach these challenges—and they're all rooted in the mission of Grit and Grace Life: To transform women's lives by sharing our hard-earned wisdom, equip them with the grit and grace needed to conquer life's challenges, and inspire a passion to follow Christ, the greatest source of our strength. Together, they share the power of community in overcoming obstacles; tips for living proactively instead of reactively; how to depend on God for an abundant life; and more. If you're close to feeling defeated, we encourage you not to give up yet. Reinforce your mental strongholds with the advice shared in this episode and conquer life's challenges with the ultimate victor at your side.   Quote of the episode: “Our life is not one individual moment or place we find ourself. It does not define us… .What defines us is what we do in the process.” —Darlene Brock Resources Mentioned Ecclesiastes 4:12 Related "Grace Is Not Weakness; It Requires Strength" "Hope Feels Out of Reach—What Now?" "Ask Dr. Zoe - How do I Find the Right Therapist for My Needs?" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

We're likely to bounce between feelings of happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, exhaustion or any number of other emotions every day. No matter which ones you experience, they are all normal and they deserve to be listened to. Where we often go wrong, according to licensed psychotherapist Dr. Zoe, is in our reaction to those feelings—either lashing out at someone or making an impulsive decision we later regret. Even when we choose not to react by suppressing our emotions, we are entering into dangerous territory. Learning how to control your feelings and they way you respond to them is such a critical part of life that Darlene and Julie decided to bring back a previous podcast episode—where Dr. Zoe appears as a guest—on the topic. In the episode, Dr. Zoe shares several reasons why we fear our emotions, how we can develop emotional intelligence in ourselves and our children, and how to communicate our feelings in a healthy way with our spouse and coworkers. And yes, vent sessions count—with the right parameters! Dr. Zoe is a passionate practitioner in the field of clinical psychology. She is licensed as a psychotherapist and divides her time between her family life, clinical practice, virtual life, and relationship coaching, speaking, writing and hosting her podcast. You can follow Dr. Zoe by visiting her site, or finding her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter as well as her podcast, Stronger in the Difficult Places. Submit a question to our free Ask Dr. Zoe column.   Quote of the episode: “We have a fear of social rejection. That's really why we fear our feelings.” —Dr. Zoe Resources Mentioned "Ask Dr. Zoe - Handling My Teen's Anger" Feelings worksheet "Do Strong Women Like Masculine Men?" Related "How to Develop Emotional Intelligence" "This Is What I Do When My Child Has 'Big Emotions'" Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Are your kids heading back to school? They'll undoubtedly learn a few math equations or how to read between the lines of a historical novel, but some of the most important back to school lessons your kids will take away from this school year are the ones that will carry them through life. In this episode of This Grit and Grace Life, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender discuss how, as a parent, you play a critical role in facilitating how well your kids receive these life lessons. They share how to instill guidance in your kids around things like: how their conduct (positive or negative) impacts others negotiation skills discernment and critical thinking handling difficult personalities—kids and teachers alike—with respect avoiding procrastination and more! Some of the best lessons start at home. This episode shares how to tactfully discuss these with your child to ensure they develop the skills needed to excel in the classroom and beyond. Quote of the episode: “There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent.” —Mahatma Gandhi Resources 7 Essential Tips to Relieve Middle School Anxiety 4 Ways to Save Your Sanity in a New School Year Your Back to School Strategy: Life Lessons and Daily Hacks - 219  Ask Dr. Zoe - How Can I Prepare My Kids for Back to School? Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

Are you putting off scheduling your next OB-GYN appointment? We get it—it can be uncomfortable, awkward, and even embarrassing to chat with the doc about issues or questions related to down there.  That's why we're bringing back this episode of This Grit and Grace Life with guest Dr. Holly Miller, a board certified OB-GYN, to answer all the hard OB-GYN questions you need to know about feminine health but are probably too embarrassed to ask about.  This episode is filled with questions that women tend to run from, including: When do we see a gynecologist? Why do we see gynecologists? Do we have to see a gynecologist? And the biggest question, why are we terrified of seeing a gynecologist? Whether you're busy or scared something is wrong and you don't want to face it, you need to go see a gynecologist. It's that simple! Neglecting your health is no way to handle potential issues you may be facing. We know after listening, you'll feel comfortable and confident scheduling your next appointment! What else you'll learn: When a teenager should see a gynecologist When you should have your first pap smear How regularly you should have a pap smear and pelvic exams How to feel comfortable when seeing your gynecologist Important information you need to share with your gynecologist What a “normal cycle” should look like Symptoms you need to look out for throughout our womanhood Common issues you need to know are not normal When you need to begin getting regular mammograms The top things Dr. Miller wants you to know about your feminine health Why you never need to feel embarrassed! Dr. Holly Miller completed medical school at Loyola University Stritch School of Medicine and a residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. She's currently an OB-GYN physician in Florida. Outside of the office, Dr. Miller enjoys reading, running and spending time with her husband and four children. Find more from Dr. Miller by visiting her practice website here. Quote of the episode: “It's extremely important that women of all ages have a relationship with a doctor, specifically a gynecologist." —Dr. Holly Miller Resources Mentioned: Follow Dr. Holly Miller on Instagram for more feminine health advice HERE. Be sure to follow us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest #gritandgracelife

How do you measure your self-worth? Is it determined by a respectable title at work or the approving nods ands compliments you receive on an outfit? Is it measured by how similar your home looks to your favorite influencer's or your own personal follower count on Instagram? This week, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender get together to offer a single resounding answer to all those questions: No. Your self-worth isn't determined by any of these things. And yet, the culture we live in upholds this pervasive idea that our worth is dependent on what we do or how put-together our lives appear, when in reality—in God's reality—it's who we are that matters. If you struggle, like Julie did, with feeling like you're not enough or even too much for others, listen to this episode to learn where your worth comes from and how you can walk boldly in who you are. The world doesn't dictate your self-worth. Remember—God has a plan for you, and you're on the road to who you're becoming. Give grace to yourself on the way there. Quote of the episode: “Stop shrinking to fit places you've outgrown.” —Darlene Resources Mentioned Psalm 138:3 (AMP) Related "The Airbrushed Bombshell: Brushing Back Body Image Issues" "Am I Worth More than a Penny?" "I Did a Social Media Detox and Learned Why We're Always Reaching for Our Phones" Bible Verses on Self-Worth From the Grit and Grace Team "How to Say 'Good Riddance' to that Pesky Shadow: Shame" Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

You may have seen the movie "Unsung Hero" and learned a little about the childhood and career of Christian singer and songwriter Rebecca St. James. But we thought we would revisit an earlier episode of This Grit and Grace Life podcast when Rebecca joined the show to chat about another important part of her life: dating and finding "the one." Landing your forever-after prince isn't always so clear-cut. We wonder whether he's out there, how long it'll take to find him, and if we'll even recognize him when the moment arrives. We can even get so frustrated with the wait that we might be tempted to settle for a good man but not the right man. But is it worth waiting for the right one? Rebecca insists it is. She shares the ups and downs of her own journey through dating and how she ultimately found her husband (and knew he was “the one” almost instantly). She, Darlene, and Julie also discuss what character traits to look for in the right man, how you can stay committed to the values you set for yourself without settling, and whether you're giving too many husband privileges to a boyfriend who won't commit. Rebecca St. James is a GRAMMY-winning Christian singer/songwriter, author, and speaker. She is also the co-host of the podcast Practice Makes Parent alongside Dr. Danny Huerta where they discuss strategies and inspiration for parenting kids of all ages. You can follow Rebecca on Instagram @rebeccast.james, on Facebook @RSJames or on her website at rebeccastjames.com. Quote of the episode: “There was this soul connection where it's like he has the same spirit, same values, same heart, same true, core desires in life.” —Rebecca St. James on finding her husband Resources Mentioned Watch "Unsung Hero" here Listen to this podcast episode for more on Rebecca's family: “Meet the Extraordinary Mom Behind the New Movie 'Unsung Hero' – 238” Listen to Rebecca's podcast, Rebecca St. James Friends and Family Related Listen to Rebecca's newest co-hosted podcast, Practice Makes Parent Read now: “These 10 Red Flags in Dating Should Make You Run” Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

When we get married, we have dreams, hopes and goals for what our lifelong union with our new partner will look like. But that idealistic view doesn't always match reality. Instead, we may find ourselves wondering why our man is so different compared to how he used to be at the beginning of the relationship or to the doting husbands we see on social media. Maybe we find ourselves in constant conflict with him, never finding common ground. Both of these issues can slowly and painfully drive your marriage into the ground. Comparison and conflict are major, yet common, issues in marriage. Our very own co-host, Julie Bender, experienced them in her relationships. In this podcast episode—and in her book, soon to be releases as part of our "Smart Living in Small Bites" book series*—Julie walks through her difficult upbringing, her first marriage to Paul and the challenges they faced during their 11 years together, his unexpected passing and her experience dating and marrying her current husband, Donny. Julie shares what to do when marriage is hard, revealing the comparison traps and the signs that indicate serious, underlying issues with communication and honesty and offers practical, fresh ways to resolve them. You and your spouse need to set your pride aside and be ready to work hard to protect and save your marriage. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it. *Our "Smart Living in Small Bites" book series is our latest endeavor here at Grit and Grace Life.We're creating and publishing a series of subject-specific guidebooks—written by our team of writers with direct experience in those subjects—that you can use to walk (and work) through your own challenges, at your own pace. Keep an eye out for this book and others in the series later this year. Quote of the episode: “There's no effort that you put into your marriage that isn't going to bear fruit." —Julie Bender Resources Mentioned  Julie Graham's Untold Story of Heartbreak, Healing and Hope - 101 What Today's Dating Scene Is Really Like - 094 Watch Julie's "Praying for Your Husband Daily" video series HERE Stay up-to-date on the release of our "Smart Living in Small Bites" book series. Click here, then scroll halfway down and sign up for our newsletter on the right-hand side of the page. Related Marriage Is Not a Hallmark Movie—But It Can Be Better This Is a Window Into My Widowhood Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

When we get married, we have dreams, hopes and goals for what our lifelong union with our new partner will look like. But that idealistic view doesn't always match reality. Instead, we may find ourselves wondering why our man is so different compared to how he used to be at the beginning of the relationship or to the doting husbands we see on social media. Maybe we find ourselves in constant conflict with him, never finding common ground. Both of these issues can slowly and painfully drive your marriage into the ground. Comparison and conflict are major, yet common, issues in marriage. Our very own co-host, Julie Bender, experienced them in her relationships. In this podcast episode—and in her book, soon to be releases as part of our "Smart Living in Small Bites" book series*—Julie walks through her difficult upbringing, her first marriage to Paul and the challenges they faced during their 11 years together, his unexpected passing and her experience dating and marrying her current husband, Donny. Julie shares what to do when marriage is hard, revealing the comparison traps and the signs that indicate serious, underlying issues with communication and honesty and offers practical, fresh ways to resolve them. You and your spouse need to set your pride aside and be ready to work hard to protect and save your marriage. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it. *Our "Smart Living in Small Bites" book series is our latest endeavor here at Grit and Grace Life.We're creating and publishing a series of subject-specific guidebooks—written by our team of writers with direct experience in those subjects—that you can use to walk (and work) through your own challenges, at your own pace. Keep an eye out for this book and others in the series later this year. Quote of the episode: “There's no effort that you put into your marriage that isn't going to bear fruit." —Julie Bender Resources Mentioned  Julie Graham's Untold Story of Heartbreak, Healing and Hope - 101 What Today's Dating Scene Is Really Like - 094 Watch Julie's "Praying for Your Husband Daily" video series HERE Stay up-to-date on the release of our "Smart Living in Small Bites" book series. Click here, then scroll halfway down and sign up for our newsletter on the right-hand side of the page. Related Marriage Is Not a Hallmark Movie—But It Can Be Better This Is a Window Into My Widowhood Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

With Memorial Day upon us, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender are honoring service members' sacrifices by encouraging us all to step into every area of life the same way those military men and women did—with bravery. But what does that look like to be brave at work? In our relationships? In motherhood? In this episode, Darlene and Julie identify instances that might give us pause and why it's critical to push through them. Our character and integrity are often at stake in these situations, so we must be willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable—whether others think we're uncool or overprotective or too Christian—to protect them. Bravery isn't easy, but it's worth the things that matter. Quote of the episode: “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows." —Luke 12:7 Resources Mentioned  How to Handle a Hard Relationship with Your Mom - 089 Read about Ananias approaching Saul in Acts 9 Related Establishing Healthy Boundaries in the Grit and Grace Life Find the Bravery to Live Our Your Purpose Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

With Memorial Day upon us, co-hosts Darlene Brock and Julie Bender are honoring service members' sacrifices by encouraging us all to step into every area of life the same way those military men and women did—with bravery. But what does that look like to be brave at work? In our relationships? In motherhood? In this episode, Darlene and Julie identify instances that might give us pause and why it's critical to push through them. Our character and integrity are often at stake in these situations, so we must be willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable—whether others think we're uncool or overprotective or too Christian—to protect them. Bravery isn't easy, but it's worth the things that matter. Quote of the episode: “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows." —Luke 12:7 Resources Mentioned  How to Handle a Hard Relationship with Your Mom - 089 Read about Ananias approaching Saul in Acts 9 Related Establishing Healthy Boundaries in the Grit and Grace Life Find the Bravery to Live Our Your Purpose Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

Are you itching for a vacation? Maybe the chilliness of winter has dragged on a hair too long and cabin fever has set in. If you're nodding along saying, "YES," then you'll want to tune into episode 240 of This Grit and Grace Life podcast. In this episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share 17 summer vacation destinations around the United States that you may have never considered visiting before but will be glad to have experienced. They list recommendations for kids and adults alike that span every corner of the nation (Washington, Kentucky, Florida, Massachusetts, California, Texas, Ohio) and every interest: music, cars, space, U.S. history (the good and the bad), faith, art and more. Let this episode be the final push you need to book that flight and make memories that will last a lifetime. Quote of the episode: “Wouldn't you rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, memories that were made, than a full bank account?" —Darlene Brock Resources Mentioned  Making Music magazine Related 9 Trips to Travel More and Spend Less Simple Guidelines for Traveling with Kids and How to Enjoy It 10 Packing Tips When You Need to Travel Light Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

Are you itching for a vacation? Maybe the chilliness of winter has dragged on a hair too long and cabin fever has set in. If you're nodding along saying, "YES," then you'll want to tune into episode 240 of This Grit and Grace Life podcast. In this episode, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender share 17 summer vacation destinations around the United States that you may have never considered visiting before but will be glad to have experienced. They list recommendations for kids and adults alike that span every corner of the nation (Washington, Kentucky, Florida, Massachusetts, California, Texas, Ohio) and every interest: music, cars, space, U.S. history (the good and the bad), faith, art and more. Let this episode be the final push you need to book that flight and make memories that will last a lifetime. Quote of the episode: “Wouldn't you rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, memories that were made, than a full bank account?" —Darlene Brock Resources Mentioned  Making Music magazine Related 9 Trips to Travel More and Spend Less Simple Guidelines for Traveling with Kids and How to Enjoy It 10 Packing Tips When You Need to Travel Light Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

We tackle many difficult subjects here at Grit and Grace Life, and often, they're ones that have impacted us directly. In this episode, co-host Darlene Brock shares one of her own—losing her father to suicide. As with any tragedy, Darlene found herself navigating unexpected emotions, working to reconcile the choice of suicide with the father she loved, asking questions that could be answered and accepting those that could not. In sharing her story now, she hopes to impart an important lesson to those dealing with this unbearable pain: God can bring healing. It won't be overnight, and it won't be easy. But there is hope to be found. If you've also lost someone dear to you to suicide, we hope this episode brings you some comfort in hearing from someone who has also been through the same journey. This idea is what inspired our next endeavor here at Grit and Grace Life: creating and publishing a series of subject-specific guidebooks—written by our team of writers with direct experience in those subjects—that you can use to walk (and work) through your own challenges, at your own pace. Keep an eye out for this book and others in the “Smart Living In Small Bites” series, coming later this year. Quote of the episode: “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” —Thomas Moore Resources Mentioned (in this episode and Darlene's book) Suicide Prevention Hotline Suicide Prevention for Family Members and Caregivers Testimonies from suicide survivors Focus on the Family suicide resources Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One's Search for Comfort, Answers and Hope Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide Shattered: From Grief to Joy After My Son's Suicide This Is How to Handle a Hard Relationship With Your Mom – 089 Related My Dad's Suicide and the Hole In My Heart When Desperation Comes, Why Choose Suicide? Suicide Isn't Easily Understood, But You Need to Know This Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

We tackle many difficult subjects here at Grit and Grace Life, and often, they're ones that have impacted us directly. In this episode, co-host Darlene Brock shares one of her own—losing her father to suicide. As with any tragedy, Darlene found herself navigating unexpected emotions, working to reconcile the choice of suicide with the father she loved, asking questions that could be answered and accepting those that could not. In sharing her story now, she hopes to impart an important lesson to those dealing with this unbearable pain: God can bring healing. It won't be overnight, and it won't be easy. But there is hope to be found. If you've also lost someone dear to you to suicide, we hope this episode brings you some comfort in hearing from someone who has also been through the same journey. This idea is what inspired our next endeavor here at Grit and Grace Life: creating and publishing a series of subject-specific guidebooks—written by our team of writers with direct experience in those subjects—that you can use to walk (and work) through your own challenges, at your own pace. Keep an eye out for this book and others in the “Smart Living In Small Bites” series, coming later this year. Quote of the episode: “Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.” —Thomas Moore Resources Mentioned (in this episode and Darlene's book) Suicide Prevention Hotline Suicide Prevention for Family Members and Caregivers Testimonies from suicide survivors Focus on the Family suicide resources Grieving a Suicide: A Loved One's Search for Comfort, Answers and Hope Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide Shattered: From Grief to Joy After My Son's Suicide This Is How to Handle a Hard Relationship With Your Mom – 089 Related My Dad's Suicide and the Hole In My Heart When Desperation Comes, Why Choose Suicide? Suicide Isn't Easily Understood, But You Need to Know This Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest

Later this month, the film "Unsung Hero" premieres in theaters across the nation. The movie chronicles one Australian mom's radical decision to move her family across the world in faith that they can find reprieve from their struggles. We don't want to spoil it for you, but this mother's decision pays off. If you've ever jammed out to FOR KING & COUNTRY or Rebecca St. James, you can thank Helen Smallbone—the determined mum from Down Under. Her unorthodox decision to pack up her family's belongings and shuttle herself, her husband and their six kids (with a seventh on the way!) was met with as much doubt as you might imagine. As a mom, it's hard to filter out the opinions and recommendations from other people on how to raise your kids. This week, Darlene Brock and Julie Bender throw it back to a previous episode with Helen, who shared the good news: It's OK to be a different kind of mom! You know your kids better than anyone, and raising them the way you feel is best—no matter how it looks to those on the outside—will undoubtedly be what they need. We hope you feel encouraged that the path you have established for your family is the right one. And if you're still on the fence, take a listen to this episode and see for yourself! Helen Smallbone is the co-founder of MUMlife Community and a podcast host with AccessMore. Her passion is encouraging mothers and families with the God-breathed wisdom she has gleaned over 32 years of being a mother.  Born and raised in Australia, Helen dedicated her life to Christ as a young teen at the Billy Graham Crusade in Sydney. Now a mother to seven―five boys and two girls―and grandmother to thirteen, she currently lives outside of Nashville, Tennessee, with her husband, David, and a small menagerie of animals. You can follow Helen on Facebook @helenjsmallbone and on Instagram @helensmallbone. Quote of the episode: “For me as a parent, it's my job to encourage [my] child on their journey to seek out who God has made them to be.” —Helen Smallbone Resources Mentioned Check out information about "Unsung Hero" here Buy Helen's book, Behind the Lights here Read Peter's account of denying Jesus here Easter, the Best Love Story Ever Told 7 Lessons from Easter You Need All Year Long - 128  Related Forgiveness Is the Key to Living a Bitter-Free Life The Hope of Easter Restores All Things Follow Us on Social Media! Facebook Instagram   Twitter Pinterest