I Totally Relate!

Hey! We are so excited to meet you and build our community. We have a very important message to share... with our younger selves, and we hope that you feel inspired and ready to start the journey to your best and highest self. In this episode we discuss the power of journaling, meditation, and therapy. Follow along with us as we share journal prompts, and questions that can start you looking into your own shadows. Today we discuss what we've learned and our experiences with each other and hope you can feel empowered by our conversation. We are not perfectionists, we are just two women on our own journey, we hope you come with us. Resources we reference: https://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_my_stroke_of_insight (Jill Bolte Taylor's Ted Talk) https://www.podomatic.com/podcasts/downinthevalleypod/episodes/2020-09-12T20_09_19-07_00 (Down in the Valley Season 2 Episode 1) https://www.headspace.com/ (Headspace)

Welcome to episode two, the first of many “guided” episodes. Once or twice a month we will share an episode with some guided help either through a meditation or breath work. This is one of those special episodes.  We begin with a brief conversation discussing our previous experiences and thoughts around breath work, and then Shelby walks us through “alternate nostril” breath work. If you've never done breath work before we hope that you can use this as a great place to start. Find yourself a comfy place to sit and follow along as Shelby walks us through just how to do this. If you've done breath work on your own before then we hope you find this as a great reminder to take some intentional breaths and check in with yourself.  If this is your first time doing breath work or this specific method, we would love to hear from you! How did you feel while following along? Is this something you'd like to try again? Send us an email at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com or drop into our DM's on Instagram! 

What masks do you wear to protect yourself from rejection? Let's just be very honest and acknowledge that every human being has experienced that deep fear of "not enough" or "I am unlovable". After doing our own journaling about the masks we wear and the different techniques we employ to protect ourselves and our egos, we sit down to share this very vulnerable message with each other. Some of the masks we discuss are "You can't hurt me!" "You can't phase me!" and "I can do it all!". Have you eve felt the sting of rejection? Have you ever taken the time to really think through your personal behaviors that help you from feeling that sting of rejection again? In this episode we talk about projection, self protection, ego, and victimhood. No need to feel ashamed, as human beings we are all trying to protect ourselves from feeling loneliness and pain. Do you have the courage to ask yourself what masks you are wearing?

Do you feel like you are giving up important parts of yourself so that you can be liked by others? Insecurities are exhausting! In our previous episode we discuss the masks that we wear to protect ourselves from feeling pain, i.e. "You can't hurt me!". In this episode we discuss how absolutely exhausting it is to try to keep up with that illusion! We discuss why we personally wear the masks we do, and what specific circumstances led us to protecting certain parts of who we are. Our goal with this conversation is to give you permission to show up exactly as you are! You don't need our permission, but hey, if you're waiting for your sign... here it is! In order to show you that we truly mean that, we open up about parts of our story that have been painful in the past, and brought us to where we are and who we are today. We are good enough! And so are YOU! We love sharing resources with you guys! Things that have helped us, we want to turn around and share with you. We talk about the impact that Glennon Doyle's "Untamed" book has had on us, and also the influence of other strong feminine figures in our life. This is a great place to get some resources that have been influential on our lives. https://untamedbook.com/ (https://untamedbook.com/) karenbeaumont.com/i-like-myself/ https://instagram.com/shelbykarphotography?igshid=1dmodoe7954rt (https://instagram.com/shelbykarphotography?igshid=1dmodoe7954rt)

Happy holidays to our lovely community! This episode is short and sweet with an important announcement. We start with saying "Thank You" to everyone who has reached out, sent messages, emails, DM's, and verbal support! We feel so much love, and it has made a big impact on us. Our goal is to build a community, so these responses have truly brought a smile to our faces. Our exciting announcement is... you can now join us on Patreon! Just click https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330 (here) and you can start receiving exclusive content such as our newsletter, access to our journal entries we discuss in our episode, guided tutorial videos, invites to quarterly meet and greets, and much more. We have big ambitions and goals for our journey together, and your support makes this possible! Lastly, we discuss what we are giving our families for Christmas and how we would also like to give you the gift of breath. A moment to come back to yourself and find your breath. Shelby guides us through a simple breathing exercise, you can follow along, and revisit this episode as often as you'd like. We refer to https://www.headspace.com/ (Headspace) in this episode If you'd like to visit our https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330 (Patreon) you can get bonus material and exclusive content.

How would you describe your relationship with your body? Have you ever given it much thought? Do you love and appreciate it for all of the amazing things it allows you to do in this life? Or does it cause you frustration because you're constantly fighting against the shape that it is and wishing it looked a different way? Perhaps the best place to begin is acceptance. This episode is part one of a three part series in which we discuss the relationship women have with their bodies, and the role that diet culture plays in that relationship. In this episode we reflect on the ways we have been mean and dismissive to our bodies, and how the realization of that has surfaced a grief that we have carried for the wanting of a differently shaped body. Just on the other side of that grief was gratitude and love for all the things our bodies allow us to do. Our goal in these conversations is to uplift, support, and embrace each other. Embrace the women in our lives, in our communities, and our families. In order to move forward a new and beautiful reality for ourselves and for each other, we must first dismantle the harmful messaging we have received around beauty and our bodies. This is a three part series that is meant to walk with each other down our painful paths, to understand how we have been impacted in the past. Then we want to speak our truth and shine a light on a better and brighter possibility for ourselves, for our daughters, for our nieces, and for future generations. We must be honest about where we have been in order to be honest about where we want to go next. We reference https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/ (The Body is not an Apology) This episode of https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-sonya-renee-taylor-on-the-body-is-not-an-apology/ (Brene Brown's Podcast) with Sonya is incredible! https://read.macmillan.com/lp/intuitive-eating-4th-edition/ (Intuitive Eating book) is a game changer!

What do you love about you? Have you ever given it much thought? Do you love and appreciate yourself for all the amazing things you do on a daily basis? Or do you find yourself frustrated because you're constantly fighting against the shape of your body, and wishing it looked a different way? Perhaps the best place to begin is acceptance. This episode is part two of a three part series in which we discuss the relationship women have with their bodies, and the role diet culture plays in that relationship. We sat down with Randi who shares her experience of gastric bypass surgery, and how that allowed her to come to a place of acceptance of her body. She talks through what led her to that decision, the tumultuous week she had the surgery, and her feelings for her daughter. Randi is also an advocate for therapy, she tells us about her first experience with therapy and her diagnosis. She shares some of her regrets as a young mom, and what she hopes for herself in the future. Find Randi and her beautiful floral arrangements at https://www.allinbloomflorals.com/ (all in bloom) Follow Randi on https://www.instagram.com/allinbloomfloral/ (instagram) for flowers andhttps://www.instagram.com/981_design/ ( handmade projects)

We are bombarded everyday with messages about what we "need" in order to love ourselves or fit in. We get these messages nearly everywhere we look, and often our friends and family confirm and share these ideas with comments about their bodies, others bodies, and comments about our bodies. This episode is part three in a three part series in which we discuss the relationship women have with their bodies, and the role that diet culture plays in that relationship. We are so excited to introduce you to Taylor! She bravely walks us through high school and college when she developed and hid an eating disorder for several years. It became an addiction that required her to isolate herself from her loved ones. She shared her secret with a mentor that cared for her and helped her take the steps necessary to eventually get the help she needed. The take away we got from this courageous telling of her story is that the comments that hurt Taylor the most, the comments that took her further away from self love, were the comments her closest friends and family made. This is heartbreaking to consider, and it also highlights the fact that as a community of sisterhood we have the power to change the body shame narrative we are all living with. By respecting and loving ourselves, and respecting others boundaries we can eliminate judgement and condescending comments about the bodies our loved ones live in. We would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Do you have a similar experience? Did you get a different take away than us? Did you learn something new? Please share your insights with us at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com or connect with us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (instagram!) You can also follow https://www.instagram.com/taysinea/ (Taylor) on her journey!

If you enjoy this episode, we have more tutorials, guided breathwork, and meditations on our https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) page! Join us on Patreon for exclusive content that follows along with our episodes. Pull up a comfy cushion or find a cozy place to relax! Shelby is going to guide us through another breathing exercise. We learn about square breath as well as Cooper's Posture. Give it a try and refer back to this episode as many times as you'd like.

In our social construct we have leaders who are instructing us and guiding us in all different facets of our life. Some of those leaders inspire us and help us rise to the occasion, and other leaders have taught us what not to do because their actions and how they impact us. This episode is part one in a three part series in which we discuss the role of leadership in our lives, the roles of leadership we embody, and what hope we have for our leaders of the future. This episode includes both of us sitting down to discuss our personal experiences where we learned from mistakes and the experiences that are inspired by hope! We share our journal entries and list the qualities we hope to enact and paint a new portrait of what a leader is to us. We reference Brene Brown's https://brenebrown.com/thegifts-hub/ ("Gifts of Imperfections") We give examples of leaders who inspire us like https://jennakutcher.com/ (Jenna Kutcher) and https://thealisonshow.com/ (The Alison Show!) If you find value in these conversations and would like to hear more from us, head over to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon). You can join us there for exclusive content such as newsletters, tutorials, meet and greets, and much more.

This episode is an interview with Justin (Shelby's hubby) discussing his role as a leader in wild land fire fighting, and the values he bases his leadership and decisions on. Justin walks us through the pressure and stresses of this line of work, and how he has been shaped and impacted by leaders who came before him. We discuss trust, respect, team work, transparency, and fairness. He opens up about failure and making mistakes, and how he has learned and applied vulnerability in his role. This episode is part two in a three part series in which we discuss the role of leadership in our lives, the roles of leadership that we embody, and what hope we have for our leaders of the future. If you find value in these conversations and would like to hear more from us, head over to Patreon. You can join us there for exclusive content such as newsletters, tutorials, meet and greets, and much more.

This episode comes out on a very exciting day for us. Beginning February 10 and going all the way through February 24 if you join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) to receive additional and exclusive content we have a special free gift that we would like to share with you. We want to say thank you for supporting us, and now it's time for us to support you with a thank you gift to help nourish your mind, your body, and your spirit. Signing up on Patreon today qualifies you to receive a printed journal prompt so you can follow along with us, a face mask to help nourish you physically, and a special limited edition lapel pin! Head on over to Patreon to get more details. We have spent the last two weeks discussing leadership, what it means to us, what values we base our leadership on, and the ideas of what we thought leadership was. This episode is a conversation with Chelsea who is an incredible leader! Chelsea gives us specific examples and tools to help navigate through challenges and roadblocks that we often come up against when we're learning how to use our voice and lead others in a public setting. She has a lot of experience with this topic, as she is currently working in marketing in a very fast paced, results oriented environment. This episode is part three in a three part series in which we discuss the role of leadership in our lives, the roles of leadership that we embody, and what hope we have for our leaders of the future. Chelsea talks about the specific values she leans on and she references commitment, accountability, and vision. If you would like to put to use some of the tools she references you can use the following links: https://private.strategiccoach.com/store/products/186#:~:text=Through%20the%204%20C's%E2%80%94Commitment,model%20for%20consistent%20entrepreneurial%20growth. (The 4 C's of Confidence) https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_5W.htm#:~:text=The%20method%20is%20remarkably%20simple,prevent%20the%20issue%20from%20recurring. (Five levels of why) She leaves her conversation with a call to find your purpose, as she discusses with us her own purpose she's discovered! We hope you enjoy this conversation and we would love for you to share this with friends and family and help us grow our community. Thank you so much for listening!

There is one week left to receive a special offer when you join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon). The offer is available until noon on February 24th. When you sign up before then, you'll receive a gift in the mail, to say thank you for joining our community, which includes a printed journal prompt, spa items, and an adorable lapel pin with our new logo on it! If you take something away from our conversations, and would like to get more exclusive content from us, head over to Patreon! The truth is we will not experience this life without knowing the pain of failure. How do we perceive failure and what does that really mean? Our discussion touches on career and promoting experiences, and the feeling of failure when you walk away from a situation unclear on what you did wrong. Shelby opens up about giving up in order to avoid the devastation of failure all together. Carissa shares her feelings of failure and motherhood. The incessant feeling of wanting to be perfect for your children all the time and the impossibility of attaining that. Perhaps the biggest take away is that not going after what you truly desire because of the fear of failure, is perhaps the most common form of failure among us. We cannot avoid failure, so we might as well go after what we want in life and learn from our mistakes. It's ok to not have all the answers, it's ok to not do it perfectly, it's ok to try, it's ok to make mistakes. Here's your invitation: go after what you want in life! We are here to support and encourage you along the way! What part of failure is hardest for you? We would love to hear from you and continue the conversation! Join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), DM us @itotallyrelatepod on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), or send us an email at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com Check out the song we reference by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTwOCqY8V38 (Beautiful Chorus!)

How do you find the courage to believe in yourself? We sat down with https://www.instagram.com/codydeason33/ (Cody Deason) (with whom we are totally related!) who is a professional baseball player and signed with the Houston Astros. We discussed in detail just how he finds the strength to continue to show up for and believe in himself. He felt the pull to pursue his dream of being a professional baseball player even as a young boy. He saw something great for himself and chased after his dream. In the face of adversity he learn to embrace failure and befriend pain. We discuss the tools he relies on such as breath work, meditation, and the https://www.wimhofmethod.com/practice-the-method (Wim Hoff) method. Cody has put into practice acceptance of self and situation, and breathing through all the curveballs life has thrown at him. With each step closer to realizing his dreams he comes to a deeper understanding of the importance of being a good, kind human being.  We hope you enjoy his story and take a lesson from his experience of going after what you want in life and learning from adversity. https://ryanholiday.net/ (https://ryanholiday.net/) If you enjoyed this conversation and would like to hear more from us, join us on Patreon for exclusive content, and a community that is ready to help support you as you go after your dreams!

Quick heads up... We recorded this episode with different equipment, and there is a little bit of clicking towards the beginning of the episode. Ok, now for the show notes... We spent sometime together this last weekend to plan for the pod, knock out a bunch of work together, and of course relax and enjoy each others company. We recorded this conversation while we were at it. The idea for this particular episode came from the book "The Women Who Run with Wolves" in which one of the stories the author Clarissa Pinkola Estes explains the importance of asking yourself the right questions. She believes that is the key to finding the answers we seek in life. We found this idea to be very interesting since... well, basically all our episodes are titled questions. Not to mention, we both utilize journaling for our mental health and growth and our journal entries begin with asking ourselves a question. We spend this time sharing how we personally use journaling as a tool and in many different forms. We each have multiple journals such as one for gratitude, or a happy journal, writing down memories for our loved ones, one for stream of consciousness writing, and for record keeping of events that we experience. One of the points that we felt compelled to share is that there are so many different ways to journal, and there isn't one way or one right way to do it. There are a lot of different ways to heal from situations in our past, and we name a few of those. The best thing about journaling is how accessible it is to anyone. A plain notebook and pen, a fancy journal with an empowering message on the cover, voice memo or notes app on your phone, a picture with colors, or a plain piece of paper and pencil. Some options are expensive, journaling doesn't have to be. If you would like to receive printable journal prompts, or read our journal entries to get a good idea of how we process our emotions and experiences, head over to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) to get access to exclusive content such as journaling tools and much more. If you would like to read along with us we are reading https://www.amazon.com/Women-Who-Run-Wolves-Archetype/dp/0345409876 ("The Women Who Run with Wolves") grab a copy and get ready to share your thoughts and insights, or just grow immensely as Clarissa expands your mind! Lastly, we reference https://www.headspace.com/ (Headspace) again in this episode. If your interested in meditation, this is an incredible resource. We hope you enjoy this episode. If you know someone who might enjoy this conversation, please share it! Thank you for your time today!

Music plays a big role in our lives, we know that is a broad statement and a lot of people feel so much through the music they listen to. So let's discuss it! Why is music so influential on us? We personally come from families with a lot of musicians. Shelby's dad is a musician, Carissa's is married to one, and her younger brother has always written songs, recorded music, and performed. We start back with our early memories of influential artists which we discuss as https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A (Tom Petty) and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfZbFh7qlCQ (The Refreshments). Then our conversation moves into our favorites now, which we both agree that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsEZmictANA (T Swift) is incredibly impactful on our lives since we grew up with Taylor Swift as she wrote the songs about our lives. Carissa mentions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq09UkPRdFY (Mariah Carey) as a staple in her growing years. We talk about the different genres and current faves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OFv566mj7s (Kasey Musgraves), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev4eFLpWFBk (Margo Price), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D-6nklMMbM (The highwomen), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbMqWXnpXcA (The Carters), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0qDguA-LXE (Beautiful Chorus), and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mB7rqfEjq3A (Trevor Hall). We wrap up the conversation touching on the idea that songs allow you to feel emotions that are hard, uncomfortable, unwanted, or sought after. Music creates a space and teaches us to feel sadness. Sign up for our newsletter and get our current playlist recommendations!

*Quick heads up* This episode contains explicit language, there a quite a few F Bombs dropped in the course of this conversation, so listener discretion is advised. Tyson has an incredible message and we are so excited for you to hear it! Life is art! Our lives depend on flourish with connection, and expressing our feelings through art allows others to connect with us. Tyson is definitely moved by music, and he shares his favorite songs and artists with loved ones through text, and also with us as we sit behind the mic to talk about the influence of music in his life. For Tyson, music is much more than enjoying a tune or getting pumped up. It's about understanding others experiences and connecting with his own life's experiences. It's about seeing someone else and growing. He shares his favorite artists https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U3MYYPc1cs (COS), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RggvSP5q6eg (Keith Wallace), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnlJw9H0xAM (NF), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZC7ksb_Cck (Machine Gun Kelly), and more. We hope you enjoy this conversation with Tyson, and we would love to hear what artists have influenced you! Get in touch with us through https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (@itotallyrelatepod) on the gram, itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com, or join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) for more of this conversation.

Those who surround us can have a really big influence on our attitudes, opportunities to learn, and our mental health overall. It would be impossible to talk through all the ways our friends and community has influenced us in one episode, so this is the first conversation in a series about "Community". We share some of the beautiful gifts we have learned from those who have shown us great love. In the safe relationships that others have cultivated with us, we have experienced, observed, and felt: unconditional love, non judgement, a safe place to land in hard times, vulnerability and authenticity. Along with the gifts we received, we also faced challenges. We discuss some of those roadblocks we have come across while creating connections, and the importance of not resisting our true selves so we can be open and available for connections with others. To hear more about this from us, head over to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) for additional content on this topic and more. We would love to hear your experiences about friendship, and your feedback on this episode, you can message us at itotallyrelatepod@gmai.com or connect with us on the https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ ('gram!)

We are so pleased to share this conversation with you, because we had the pleasure of talking with Carissa's two besties! Meet Ani and Terin! Do you have a group of friends you can be yourself around? How do you show up? We have been in groups that have not been safe to show up authentically and encouraged toxic behaviors. So, there is a lot of gratitude for a friendship like this, a small circle of women who provide a safe place to land when life gets tough. We talk through the values we have learned through our relationships like vulnerability, accountability, empathy, support, validation, grace, and curiosity. We share examples of moments when we felt and learned these concepts. It's really nice to have friends, and we share a lot of laughter. But it's more than that. There is a basic human need to feel attachment to help with regulating our emotions. We discuss the importance of having a small cheering section. A good community is crucial for our mental well being, so we end the conversation with our hopes for future generations and ideas on how to cultivate those relationships in our own lives and encouraging our children to seek groups that reflect these values. We hope you enjoy this conversation and encourage you to be a friend to someone today. If you enjoyed this episode and would like to receive more content like this, join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) for additional resources. We also send out a newsletter twice a month with a deeper dive into what we are learning and experiencing. We love to share resources with you all. So, if you're interested in an inspirational message to get your weekend started right, https://linktr.ee/itotallyrelatepod (hit us up!) Want to share feedback and insight with us about this episode? We'd love to hear from you! Connect with us at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Are you ready to meet two more influential, empowering, beautiful women? Well, we are pleased to introduce to you Heather and Taylor, two of Shelby‘s best friends. This is episode three in our series, and it has been very cathartic for us. Sitting down with the women in our lives who have lifted us up and seen us for who we really are, and telling them how important they have been to us, well... it's really a transformative experience. Do you want a community that is a safe place to land? Have you been wondering how to make that happen? This conversation really highlights the necessary components for those foundational friendships! Timing is key, vulnerability is a non-negotiable, and a desire for growth is a must. These women talk through how showing up without shame owning them really changed the game, and allowed them to cultivate that deep friendship that has lasted over the years. Perhaps the most powerful part of this conversation was verbalizing how important self compassion and self acceptance truly are. When we have the courage to show up authentically, it starts a chain reaction that allows us to find love and joy that sustains. It all starts with us. We are all one decision away from being open and connected with others. We have the power to love and be loved. If we want future generations to cultivate lasting and safe relationships, then WE must cultivate lasting and safe relationships. Look in the mirror babe, recognize that YOU are a badass, meet others with non-judgement and acceptance, and give them permission to be badass too! Are you loving this series as much as we are? Would you love to hear more from us and have access to all of our resources? Cool, because we want to share that with you. Head over to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) and join us in building a community that we are all glad to be a part of! Did you know that we send out a newsletter every other week? Would you like a lovely inspirational note from us twice a month? https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (Click here) and we'll add your name to our list  Want to get in touch with us? We would love to hear from you, send us your feedback and insights to Itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com, or hit us up on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (@itotallyrelatepod)

We could not conclude a conversation about community without the mention of our mothers, both because they have played such a big role of friendship in our lives, and because they have such an intriguing story of friendship between the two of them. This is a really important story to us. These two women have a unique connection to each other that has played a large role in our extended family dynamics. We will spend some time in the conversation exploring that important connection. This friendship spends over 40 years of their life, and it is impossible to cover all the important details at 40 years in one episode. However, we will discuss friendship, young girl hood, boys and falling in love, fallouts, heartbreak, forgiveness, and healing. Their relationship has flourished and endured many chapters of their lives, one which includes the present which has an element of physical health and disease. It has been really magical listening to her moms tell the origin of our family story, and we find it so important to capture the story in the words of the two women who have lived it. We hope you find joy, love, and healing in this conversation to. Please welcome to the podcast the two most influential women in our lives, our moms: Linette and Dawn. We would love to include you on our newsletter we send out twice a month. If you are interested in getting our additional insights on episodes and what's going on in our lives, sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter here). https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) is a great way to get connected with us and receive access to additional content, including journal prompts and entries, and bonus episodes. Head over to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) to join the community. If you want to share your thoughts and insights about this episode, email us at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com or send us a message on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (instagram)

Ana Marques is an MFT therapist, graduated with her Masters, additionally she is trained in evidence based trauma informed modalities. This episode is packed full of information to help us understand what trauma is and how we can process it. Ana gives us a lot of ways to visualize and understand how our bodies autonomic nervous system (ANS) unconsciously and automatically responds to situations in our lives to aid in our survival. Ana herself is a recipient of the benefits of trauma informed therapy, and she has made it her career to help others recover the ability to self regulate. As human beings we are made to survive and to attach. In episode in 19 we discussed how survival without attachment is trauma, and in this episode we dive much deeper into what that means and how to process trauma.  Some of the most helpful visualizations she shares with us include: the chain of trauma, how one event after another event becomes a neuro pathway shortcut and provides a specific lens for us to view situations through. She also shares the idea of a Stain-glass window and how when trauma happens to us our brain can start to function as a Stain-glass window where there are different parts of us. Processing trauma is ultimately the acceptance of those different parts and integrating them into who we are instead of trying to ignore, or shove, or get rid of certain parts of us. Ana explains the window of tolerance and how processing our trauma creates a space between the trigger and our reaction, and in that space or that window, we then have the ability to make a conscious decision instead of an unconscious reaction. Ana refers to several trauma gurus, you can learn more about them and read their books here: https://drgabormate.com/book/when-the-body-says-no/ (Dr. Gabor Mate): When the body says no https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1556439431/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_1556439431 (Peter LeVine) https://ifs-institute.com/about-us/richard-c-schwartz-phd (Dick Schwartz) You can find Ana at one of her counseling centers: https://momentumcounselingservices.com/ (https://momentumcounselingservices.com/) https://www.thewholepersoncounseling.com/ (https://www.thewholepersoncounseling.com/) We would love to include you on our newsletter we send out twice a month. If you are interested in getting our additional insights on episodes and what's going on in our lives, sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter here). https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) is a great way to get connected with us and receive access to additional content, including journal prompts and entries, and bonus episodes. Head over to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) to join the community. If you want to share your thoughts and insights about this episode, email us at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com or send us a message on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (instagram)

We are so thrilled to introduce to you Shelli Spotts. She is our guest this week and next. Our conversation with her was so interesting to us and she shared so many helpful words we wanted to be able to share them all with you. We are kicking off a short series on creativity, and Shelli is the perfect guest to get us started. Shellirae Spotts is an essayist, poet, and visiting English professor from Orem, Utah. Her creative work has been published in Inscape: a Journal of Literature and Art, Locutorium, Poets.org, and elsewhere. She has worked as a columnist, a freelance journalist, and an editor. Her current project is called "Voices Heard and Unheard" stories collected at the United Nations Commission on the states of Women, which she attends as an advocacy writer. Her writing and teaching focus on how we craft our identities as we engage in living creative lives, how we build bridges with the communities around us, and how we tell our own stories as we connect public meaning with personal experience. In the first part of our conversation Shelli discusses the importance of embracing the journey instead of only focusing on the destination. She walks us through vulnerability and how creativity, asking questions, and being ourselves in our relationships really depends and thrives in spaces we can safely be vulnerable. We discuss how life is messy, and the mess is beautiful. Sometimes the trickiest part of relationships is when other people's mess mixes with our mess. She shares so many words of wisdom, we are so incredibly honored to share this conversation with you. We would love to keep you in the know and share our resources with you. Sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), and don't miss a thing! Would you like to get more content from us? We share journal prompts, personal journal entries, bonus episodes, and more over on Patreon. We would love to share this exclusive content with you!

We are so pleased to bring you the second part of our conversation with Shelli Spotts. She is a creative writer, professor, and freelance journalist. The first portion of our conversation we discuss the article she wrote that was recently published in Big Ocean Women, you can read the articlehttps://www.bigoceanwomen.org/on-walking-in-the-rain/ ( here)  In this episode we touch on the importance of getting out into our natural environment, the effect of physical walls have on our emotions, mental health, feminism, and the fear of rejection. Shelli said it last episode... having a conversation with a writer is so compelling because she connects all these things together. We would love to hear your thoughts and feelings after listening to this episode. You can connect with us at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com or you can send us a DM on the https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ ('gram). And of course we would love for you to join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), where we have additional content and resources.

Thank you so much for joining us in Episode 25, the final episode of season one. We will be back in your feed July 7th with a new season, new guests, and new conversations! If you can't wait till then, head on over to https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330 (Patreon), where we will be releasing exclusive content in the mean time. We have a beautiful and helpful grounding guide we would love to share with you. https://view.flodesk.com/pages/6099f5f80ae0109ef33aa66c (Access that here), and get a 5 minute guide on how to re-connect with the earth, and a minute by minute walk through to ground yourself. In this conversation we reference “https://www.amazon.com/Women-Who-Run-Wolves-Archetype/dp/0345409876 (Women who Run with Wolves)” written by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, specifically chapter 10 as we discuss the role of creativity in our own lives, and the importance it plays in our collective. It is a very compelling book, we absolutely recommend it. Carissa shares how she has recently discovered her own creativity, and Shelby walks us through her relationship with creativity. We revisit the concept of rest being required for creativity, the importance of recognizing and encouraging beauty in others, the effect of comparison on our creativity, and how awareness is key. We would love to hear your feedback and insight on this conversation, you can connect with us through email itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com or DM us on insty

What is up everybody?!? We are so excited to be back with you with the start of season two. During the short break that we took we spent a lot of time being consistent and creating content for our Patreon community. We would love for you to join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon). Check it out to see if there is a tier that fits with your budget and desire to be a part of our close knit community. In this episode we reference https://i-totally-relate.captivate.fm/episode/mental-health-is-not-mental (the episode we did with Ana), who is an MFT, discussing trauma and it's effects. Season one required a lot of personal work and healing from the two of us, and in doing so we've reduced some of our trauma, so now as we enter into the beginning of season two, we find our self healing younger version of ourselves… 17 year old Carissa and 9 year old Shelby… Season 2 is dedicated to you! Here is the https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IvArrFhcp0 (Ariana) song of the week  Along with talking about who season two is dedicated to, we also give a little bit of insight as to what topics we will be discussing in season two, for example, sex, money, confidence, boundaries, and the path to self empowerment. We are so excited to share all these conversations with you guys. Season two is going to be chock-full of little wisdom nuggets. The second half of the episode we share “Our Why” of hosting this podcast and what drives us to continue doing this work. Our messages feel very optimistic with a feel-good tone, however, we discuss there are tricky situations and challenges that require us to navigate in order to get to this space of clarity and courage. You can get some context of the difficult and not-so-pretty work that goes into this transformation and realization of "Our Why" on Patreon, where we share more openly. The conversation then shifts towards purpose, as in every human being has a purpose. We ask questions about how to find our purpose and what keeps us from fulfilling it. We discuss our intuition versus our ego, and give references to who has helped us along our journey for example we talk about https://www.instagram.com/thealisonshow/ (@theAlisonshow). We are really proud of this conversation, and so excited for you to listen along. We hope it's sparks some inquiry for you to check in with your purpose. We would absolutely love to hear from you, you can email us at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com or DM us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Insta).

We are so excited to welcome back Chelsea to the podcast! She is returning after https://i-totally-relate.captivate.fm/episode/how-do-you-lead (season 1 episode 12), if you haven't heard it yet you'll love this conversation. In today's episode we are discussing her guide book that walks you through transmuting your pain into healing with three steps. This book is written specifically for women. Step 1- Choose Step 2 - Let Go Step 3 - Receive She has found pieces of her life‘s work through the intersection of healing and working with women. She names a few of her painful life experiences that helped give her the grounds to learn these concepts, i.e. leaving home as an adolescent, divorce, and single motherhood. Working through this painful process, spirituality is required. Chelsea explains the importance or the unimportance of specific language and words, and it's more about the personal feeling. She addresses the social programming, especially in this valley. She encourages us to use our own internal discernment and use the reference words that work for you. This conversation also touches on the importance of awareness. Trauma is a loaded and new buzzword. We spend some time discussing the definition and consequences of trauma and how to navigate through it once you've identified it. We also discuss how our bodies and our souls know how to heal us. She defines healing loops and highlights tools that help us move through that cycle. The first part of this conversation is discussing the ways we find ourselves in a painful place. The last portion of this is digging into the three steps, the how-to‘s, and the then-what's. This tool is a guide, it's a practice. Referring back to the steps and this guidebook is more practical than assuming once through the process we will be healed. You can connect with Chelsea https://www.instagram.com/sistersoulig/ (@sistersoulig). You can access her guidebook by getting in touch with her http://www.healing-guides.com/ (here). We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This is a very powerful and raw story that will help give context to what healing is, a few helpful behaviors, and the gifts of healing. Real quick, we want to give you a heads up that we do discuss suicide, and suicidal ideation. If parts of this conversation are triggering for you, we encouraged you to hit pause and come back to us when you are ready. Amber is very real in this conversation about some of her darkest moments and difficult feelings, and that helps give context to how powerful her healing process has truly been. Also… We dropped the F bomb a few times, so if you normally listen with children around, you might want to listen to this episode in a more mature setting. We are so excited for you to meet Amber, she is an incredibly brave and empowered woman who is going to let us into her story. She takes us way back to her childhood to uncover harmful messages she was given as a child. Messages such as she was weird, or her emotions were too much, or what she was feeling was bad.  One of the tools she has used in her healing process is art. We spend some time towards the beginning of our conversation talking about how that has been impactful, how she studied it, and what her process is. For reals though, she is an incredible artist! Beginning in March 2020 Amber‘s life started to unravel. The pressure of secrecy from a traumatic event she experienced in college came to a head. She found herself staring her biggest fears in the face. Amber walks us through the beginning and ending of her marriage, loss of life, the closing of a chapter, and starting over again. She recounts how she found her Wolfpack, the group of women in Utah that helped create a safe space for her to reconnect with her true self and heal as she faced her biggest fears in one summer. She walks us through some of her darkest night, and shares the sweet beauty of standing in her own power. She shares the most important tools she utilized in navigating through these perilous challenges.  It is truly a gift the Amber shares deep vulnerability in her conversation with us. We would love to hear how Amber's story resonates with you!  We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We would love for you guys to sign up to receive our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter) that we send out twice a month. It is one of our favorite mediums for sharing vulnerable stories and insight with you, our listeners. The kick off of season two is all about self empowerment. We started this season with the why behind our purpose, we shared an interview about the how-to‘s on achieving self empowerment, last week we shared a story to give the beautiful example of how to come into your own power. We feel like a necessary component to the conversation of self empowerment is in anger. This weeks episode is the first part of a conversation the two of us host about anger. Before we can really talk about the subject, we felt like it was necessary to come to terms with the relationship that we've had with anger, and how that has impacted our decision making in our key and important relationships. We start off with Carissa describing her relationship with anger. She gives a lot of examples and details of how she tried to keep her loved ones from feeling the discomfort of anger. That codependent behavior was derived from the consequences of being completely exhausted by trying to keep other people from being angry, that lead to deep consequences for her own safety, feelings, and mental health. Then, Shelby shares her experiences which include trying to out run the anger and then an expulsion of energy. She also shares the shame that follows those behaviors. This conversation feels very vulnerable to us, we truly hope that in naming some of our own feelings, as shameful as they feel, we are able to help anyone who feels like they can relate to some of these feelings. We hope you stay tuned for next week when we go into depth about what we hope anger to do for us in the future. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

If you have not listened to episode 29 "There's an unmet need" we highly recommend you go back and listen. In the previous episode we discuss what our relationship with anger has been like, and how it has shown up in our behaviors and effected our relationships. The awareness is really important and sets up the discussion in this particular episode. We drop you into the middle of a conversation and episode 29 gives this episode context. This conversation between Shelby and Rissy is led with curiosity. Now that we have taken a hard look at how we have expressed anger in the past, we literally just untangle our anger together. What is anger? What are we supposed to do with anger? We give a few examples of productive anger, or a healthy expression of anger. We process our anger by asking questions, digging deeper, how our anger makes us feel, and how we have tried to get rid of that feeling. Our anger lets us know when are not safe, when we need a boundary, it protects us. If we can learn to sit with the discomfort of our anger and really listen to what it has to say, maybe, just maybe it can help point us in the direction of our life's purpose. This conversation is vulnerable and special to us. We hope you enjoy the episode, and lean in with curiosity as well. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This episode is a conversation about running. Yep, running on the treadmill, running marathons, and running with women. We know this seems like a very niche topic, stick with us here... we see running as a metaphor for life. Whether you like to run, or have a real disdain for the activity, this conversation is about so much more, and we believe there is something here for everyone. We are interested to understand how do you connect with your body? Going for a run is one way that Carissa feels connected to her body, as well as our guest, and we spend time talking through how running accomplishes this. This week we are pleased to introduce to you Annie Osmond. We kick off the conversation with some background information on how our paths crossed. Annie is a running instructor at our local recreation center. Carissa started attending the treadmill class that Annie leads, and that is where the story begins. Annie introduces herself and shares how she got interested in running, and the women who have influenced her along the way. We dig into the topic of women supporting each other and dismantling the idea that women are our competition. Annie shares several examples of moments that have made an impact on her through cheering on her comrades and feeling supported and influenced by strong, ambitious, and empowered women. If you are interested in preparing to run for a marathon or otherwise, Annie gives us an idea on how to prepare, and what to expect. One of our favorite parts of the episode include her description of coming up against her own failure, and proving to herself that she is strong enough. Half way through the conversation we turn to the idea of body image. We get Annie's take on how to be in an environment that is all about bodies and how to keep from comparing yourself. She talks about a shift in our culture that is more accepting of all body types. Annie gives us her top 5 songs for her running playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OojgM2a3B9A (I will never stop) by The artist formerly known as James the Mormon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f8rdVxwKZI (Woman Lover Powerful) by Daniella Mason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvTRZJ-4EyI (Humble) by Kendrick Lamar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj9aUSDpU_Y (Born for This) by Andy Grammer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OrLroFa0AI (Glorious) by Macklemore We wrap up the conversation expressing our hopes for the future, and Annie shares a little bit about her experience with Motherhood with us. Don't miss the secret ending... We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

If you have been interested in joining us on Patreon, may we give you a little budge? Join us before October 1st, we have some really exciting news coming, and chances are... you won't want to miss this! This conversation is the story of how Shelby meets yoga. In our Self Empowerment series, we have turned the conversation to how we connect with our bodies, and therein lies the empowerment we seek. Well... at least it is a part of it. Shelby takes us back a few years to share how she was introduced to yoga and the very serendipitous reconnection with the practice years later. One of the resources that was incredibly instrumental in guiding Shelby towards a consistent practice is https://yogawithadriene.com/ (Yoga with Adriene) and if you have been interested, we encourage you to check it out. This ultimately led Shelby to get her Yoga Teacher Training through https://yogaundergroundutah.com/ (The Yoga Underground ) where she currently teaches every Tuesday. Shelby gives us some background information on the roots of yoga and helps us understand why yoga is meditation. We dip into the differences between the two, and how they are ultimately connected. We wander through the difference between being religious and being spiritual and what that means to us. We also share what our practices look like and how we implement these ideas into our routines and rituals, as well as the benefits we feel and experience when we are consistent in a meditation practice. We wrap up the conversation by sharing the biggest lessons we have learned in yoga and how it changes our perspective off the mat. On Patreon we will be sharing the resources that have been impactful for us, so head over to access this resource. This conversation is about how you can reframe exercise and yoga provides a connection to self. We hope you enjoy the episode and click to listen if you feel called to explore ways you can connect with your body. We would love to hear from you about what yoga has taught you, and different ways you connect with your body. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Get ready for an incredible conversation that is going to uplift you and share profound insights that will help you grow! We cannot wait for you to hear from Abigail! This episode begins with Abigail introducing herself and sharing some of the titles she carries, one of which being a stroke survivor. She walks us through her experience, and very profoundly the moment that she decided to TRUST HERSELF! We discuss the tools she used to help her move through this life altering situation, don't be surprised when she discusses affirmations and journaling. We talk through her feelings of sadness, grief, and hope. One of the outcomes of this experience in her life is that she had the dedication and determination to follow her life path and fulfilling one of her purposes. That purpose is teaching adaptive yoga. She is a yoga instructor and teaches the classes herself, as well as teaching other yoga instructors how to be inclusive with adaptive yoga for any student in their class. If this is something you are interested in learning, she is teaching this in an upcoming workshop, which you can https://yogaundergroundutah.com/shop/event/adaptive-yoga-teacher-training/ (sign up for here). This conversation was a real treat for us, and we both feel like we learned so much from Abigail, we can't wait for you to give it a listen. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com You can also give https://www.instagram.com/wellwithabigail/ (Abigail a follow on instagram)!

SURPRISE! It's Friday and we have a bonus episode to drop in your feed. We share a bonus episode monthly on Patreon, and we felt this would be a good episode to share with all of you to give a great idea of what the bonus episodes are like. Sometimes they are extra snippets from the conversation with an interview, and other times it is a conversation between the two of us about a more personal topic. This month we are sharing a portion of our interview with Abigail. This episode contains some incredible relationship advice, as well as some specific tools and examples of boundaries and keeping centered with ones own self. We hope you enjoy this extra content, and if you would like to receive more benefits like this, head over to Patreon! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com To be honest, we had a different episode planned for you this week. We had secured an absolutely amazing interview, who cancelled on us last minute. So rather than have a conversation about boundaries that we were so pumped about, we met the moment where it was and recorded a conversation processing our feelings about disappointment. We begin by giving some back ground information about the situation at hand, and then we go into processing our feelings together. We share how it felt to get the disappointing news, how our own minds reacted to it, and what surprised us about this experience. Halfway through the conversation we share a four step process of how to deal with disappointment in your life. Spoiler alert... this won't be the last time we feel disappointed. Can you relate? We would love to hear from you! After the year of 2020, we know that we are all well aquainted with disappointment. Have you been able to navigate the circumstances? What has helped you process these complex and uncomfortable feelings? Connect with us and let us know! In the mean time... thank you for listening, and know that you are loved.

Trigger Warning: We discuss the topic of sexual assault and the abuse of power within the Mormon religion. This is a heavy conversation in which Carissa shares her exit story from the LDS church. There are parts of the story that are upsetting. Although we continue this conversation with humor and levity, it may leave you feeling triggered or in despair. If you need to pause and come back, please do, because on the other side of this gross abuse of power, there is freedom, joy, and peace. We hope you can listen to the whole story. We will spend the next several episodes sharing exit stories from the LDS church, and the specific circumstances that lead each of these people right out the door. This is not meant to be mean to those who are part of the religion, it is a call to hold those in power accountable, and to see each person in their story, their pain, and heartbreak. These decisions are not made haphazardly. They are full of difficult, gut wrenching decisions. We want to share our stories so that others know they are not alone. It is important to point out the toxicity of the culture in eliminating the option for personal boundaries. Individuals have undue pressure put on them in regards to the eternal salvation of those you love. This hierarchy deliberately pits family members against each other in order to keep each individual feeling stuck in the church. The leadership, those in powerful positions making the decisions for the whole, utilizes control over the individuals. They control what you wear, down to your underwear, how you spend your money, what you do with your time, and they exercise power over children instead of allowing parents to take responsibility for the safety of their children. This is a mighty over reach, and the power is abused all too often. We begin the series with Carissa sharing her very personal experience inside the religion. Carissa shares her feelings as a young girl of concern for her father's salvation. Those men who put this idea in her mind were out of line, and her father is a phenomenal man and his eternal salvation never needed to be worried about. She walks us through her high school experience, marriage in the temple, and the straw that broke the camel's back. We reference the https://exmocandles.com/candles/licked-cupcake/ (ExMo Candle Co) as well as the book https://www.amazon.com/No-Man-Knows-My-History/dp/0679730540 (No Man Knows my History) Stay tuned for additional stories from some incredibly brave and loving human beings. If you have a story you'd like to share, or are looking for support with this topic, we are here for you. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are sharing another faith transition this week as part of our self empowerment series. We are so excited to introduce you to Madi. Shelby and Madi were room mates in college, just as Madi was returning home from her mission. She was born in Provo into a very religious family. Her father is a BYU professor, and she has all sisters who have also exited the religion. Madi was very invested in the LDS church. She was baptized, served a mission, worked in the temple, and was married in the Provo temple. She takes us right into her mission where she discovered critical information about her mental health. She describes for us the shame and negative narrative she learned in the church culture. We jump into a conversation discussing the premise and ideologies of the religion including polygamy, following the counsel of the prophet, as well as the effect of the patriarchy on the minds of young women and how that created a "not good enough" effect. One of the most important messages Madi shares is that those who leave the church do not need your pity or worry. There is peace and joy outside of the LDS church, and they do not hold a monopoly on spirituality. She is fresh in her exit from the religion and is still deconstructing and finding her footing on spirituality. She is helping us learn to put words to some of our experiences in this culture. Even if we are not perfect, it's worth trying to share and connect with honesty in our experiences. We are so honored that Madi shares her story and thoughts with us. It is vulnerable and real. We hope you enjoy this conversation as we meander through her experiences and breaking down some of the toxic aspects of the Mormon church. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are honored to introduce to you Scott and Lyric Williams. As we continue our series of faith transitions, this week we bring you a story of a couple with one in the religion and one out.  Scott grew up here in American Fork and met Lyric at a singles ward in Salt Lake, both of them grew up in the LDS religion. Scott loves his family and his very respectful and sharing his experience, he shares multiple times that it was a loving family environment.  His dad passed away right about the time he was preparing to go on a mission. This decision to serve a mission is very impactful and solidifying his faith in the church. He served A Spanish-speaking mission in Houston Texas, and he was very influenced by the people he met on his mission. The church and its teachings were really the only coping tool he felt he had to deal with his father‘s death.  Scott and Lyric have also twice served as a couple in wards outside of their own, exemplifying their commitment to the success of the church and sharing the gospel. From a very young age Scott has been intrigued by history and archaeology. He recalls being excited for the day when we discover the things spoken of in the Book of Mormon. When he had doubts about the truth and validity of the stories in the Book of Mormon he would silence those thoughts, and had shame around giving into the adversary. Finally he decided he needed to know the truth, and accept that part of himself that was curious and valued truth, logic, and facts. Scott references the https://cesletter.org/ (CES letter), when beginning to really dig into his questions and doubts about the truthfulness of the church.  The leadership in the church went a very long time hiding the truth about its history and origins. When the specifics are brought up in question, the church refers to these conversations and literature is anti-Mormon literature. After the CES letter was written, The church leaders acknowledged and confirmed the truth about some discrepancies including the book of Abraham, and the truth about Joseph Smith. Scott acknowledges the manipulation and gaslighting involved with church leaders in continuing their narrative and covering up the history.  In a pivotal moment Scott shares his honest feelings with Lyric and his disbelief in their religion. She receives this news well and wants the best for him, and responds in a very supportive manner. As he is navigating this faith transition and huge life change, Scott has committed to himself to do this with integrity.  With Scott exiting the religion and Lyric staying in, it has presented new challenges in their home. These experiences have allowed Scott and Lyric to truly talk through things together. Giving space, listening, and respecting each other‘s feelings and beliefs.  He discusses the lazy learner idea and the hypocrisy of that talk given by Russel and Nelson.  Scott also discusses this disturbing amount of lack of informed consent, and references the DNA study defines the Lamanites in the book of Mormon do not exist. If the book of Mormon were true Native American and pacific islanders would have DNA traces back to Israel and Jerusalem, when in fact the DNA traces back to Asia, disproving the entire basis of the story and Nephi and the Lamanites. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are still rolling in our Faith Transition series. We have shared a few individual stories, a couple in a mixed faith marriage, and today we are sharing the story of James and Terin, a married couple who have both recently left the Mormon church. Grab a cup of coffee and get cozy, this is the longest episode we have released yet. It is all so good, we had to share the whole conversation. Mormon culture is most often a persons whole identity, it is all connected, and leaving out parts of it take away from the heaviness of how this truly has impacted these two lives. Terin and James met in seminary class in high school... that is not lost on us. Their story becomes complex and heavy very quickly, especially for two young high school students. They were a very serious couple and Terin became pregnant her junior year. Although she felt guilt about this and their interactions together, she was very invested in the Mormon religion and this outcome just pulled her deeper into the religion as she was determined to prove that she was a good woman and a good mom. She enjoyed going to church and felt inclusion and hope in the message and congregation as a stark contrast to the chaos and loneliness she felt at home. James also experienced a lot of trauma, confusing messages, and chaos in his home as a child. Though, in church it was exasperated by feeling excluded and ostracized by other children and families in his ward. He did not feel invested or like a dedicated believer as a young child because of the environment and ward he grew up in. Both of these young children coming from tumultuous backgrounds, meant that the promise of families being together forever helped solidify a testimony for both. However, once the pregnancy was made public, they were presented with two extreme options that neither of them wanted or felt peace about. The first was to get married and raise this child, and the second was to go with adoption and never see each other again. Reluctantly, they chose the first. Their families and the culture in the church absolutely shamed their love and the expression of that love with each other. Right before they got married, Terin discovered an addiction of James'. this complicated the situation and the relationship further. The shame left both of them feeling not good enough. The situation continued to grow in complexity as their family grew and their love continued to be buried in shame. Both of them talk about how resources and real help was not made available to them. If you relate to this part of their story, we encourage you check out this resource, the https://salifeline.org/ (addiction recovery group) they refer to. A series of rock bottoms and low points lead them to an incredibly serendipitous moment that solidifies their testimonies and changes the trajectory of their lives. To learn what changed their minds after 2-3 years of the life they both thought they wanted, you can listen along and experience the doubt and deceit in the history of the Mormon church alongside Terin and James. As usual, we end with these two sharing with us the things they wish they knew then, and the gifts they experience and enjoy in a life and relationship of their own outside of the LDS institution. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Welcome to our FIRST LIVE RECORDING! This episode is the conversation we recorded as a group discussing our first Book Club pick: What Happened to You by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry. This book does a phenomenal job explaining the biology of the brain and it's responses to traumatic events, and the impact that has on our unconscious behaviors and actions as we continue to interact in the world. We want to be upfront and let you know that this book covers a very heavy topic and portions of our conversation touch on personal and painful experiences and emotions. We do discuss sexual assault in a portion of this episode. The authors have a note at the beginning of the book that states the following: "We know this reading experience will make you think and make you feel - and at times the feelings may be hard and painful. For some, the intense and sometimes disturbing content will be a challenge. For other, the concepts about the brain may be unfamiliar and initially difficult to understand. We ask for your patience and trust, with us and yourselves. When you find the reading too challenging, stop. Put the book down for an hour or a week. It will still be there when you feel able to return to it. And when you are ready to continue exploring why "what happened to you" shapes how you think, feel, and act, welcome. You just may discover a path forward." We feel like this is really important to mention here, because one of our book club attendees, Linette, experienced this deeply, and she shares her experience of beginning to look into her past and memories that she felt she had put behind her. We discuss multiple stories from the book that gave clear examples and really impacted us, including the story of Sam, Oprah on set for a movie, and the grumpy guy at the airport. We share how we have internalized these concepts as mothers ourselves, as daughters, and women who work in the community. Knowledge is power, and this book is a gift to our society because it breaks down complex ideas into relatable stories and simple analogies, as well as sharing very helpful diagrams and charts. We absolutely recommend this book, and hope that you enjoy the conversation of a group of women discussing what happened to us. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Oh boy! We have such a treat for you in this episode! We are so pleased, honored, and thrilled to introduce to our lovely listeners... McKenna Rose Brown. First things first, do yourself a favor and go follow her on https://www.instagram.com/mckennarosebrown/ (Instagram)! She posts weekly Wonder Woman Moments, funny reels, and inspirational stories. And while your at it, go ahead and give https://www.instagram.com/shopedynkei/ (@Shopedynkei) a follow too! We start this episode out sharing the serendipitous way our paths crossed. It's a good story and it truly feels like we were meant to make the connection! McKenna is a Mental Health Advocate, she is the author for the Wonder Woman Journal, the creator of the Wonder Girl Academy, and just a GEM in real life. You can learn more about her and her message by https://mywonderwomanjournal.com/shop/ (visiting her website). McKenna is very transparent and vulnerable in sharing her story. She is open about how she always felt like she was "Too Much" and how she felt she needed to shave herself down to fit into who she was "supposed" to be. She walks us through her story and the thoughts that led her to her lowest points in life. After driving herself to the behavioral hospital and connecting with other women, she realizes the message she is meant to share. Every woman is Wonder-full! She created the Wonder Woman Journal helping women identify moments of gratitude and recognizing one experience a day that is good, hard, and/or funny. This led her to create a confidence course for young girls to develop the Wonder Woman mindset in 7 steps, as well as hosting the WINGS retreat: W-worth I-intuition N-nirvana G-gifts S-strengths McKenna shares good reminders to help honor where you are. She is open about the resources that have been beneficial to her on her journey including journaling, therapy, and specifically EMDR. We hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did! Spending time with McKenna is a real treat! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We have wrapped up our series on faith transitions and we are about to move into our Naught November series. We are transitioning with a couple of interviews of individuals who have left the Mormon church and embraced their sexuality. We are honored to listen to the experiences of queer folks, as they are leaders in embracing sexuality even in the face of the fear of rejection. We are so pleased to introduce you to JaNeil. She is a single mother of three kids, she grew up in Salt Lake County and she has a very important story to share. *Trigger Warning* We discuss sexual abuse and child suicide. As JaNeil shares parts of her experience, it does include a few difficult topics. Please listen at your own pace, pause if you need to, and we hope you can come back to hear the end of the conversation, because JaNeil has found herself in a space of love and peace after coming out the other side of some really painful experiences. After being sexually abused by a close friends parent while in ninth grade, JaNeil began exhibiting signs that something was wrong. After meeting with a counselor she was referred to an extremely strict program for children. She was kept in this program for 14 months. She goes into detail sharing some of her experiences there, including the living arrangements, the interactions with other children, and sharing her "cop list". Once she was released from this program she started to develop anxiety, in which she felt like she needed to be the perfect kid. She made the school basketball team and made a really good friend who eventually invited her to try to get a temple recommend. That set her on a path that had her baptizing the dead before school in the morning, and married in the temple 6 months after high school graduation. JaNeil was married and quickly there after was a mom to three young kids. When she was pregnant with her third child, her mother gifted her a get away to this retreat. Once again, her trajectory was dramatically changed by people she encountered and the truths she learned about her self on her journey of self love and acceptance. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Are you ready to get Naughty November started? We are so thrilled for this conversation! Our special guest today is leading us into our next series. Meet Benja! He grew up in Guatemala, served a mission in Peru, and came to Utah to attend BYU, where he studied dance. This is the beginning of him learning to express himself through movement. It was during this time that he went on his first date with a boy. Afterwards he felt happy. He was able to kiss someone he was attracted to. Benja is very transparent about the low points he experienced while oppressing himself to be accepted by his community. Embracing his true self empowered him to disassociate with the harmful institution of LDS religion. He walks us through the moments he learned he can set boundaries and was able to end his co-dependent relationship with the church and decide that he was a good person who deserved good things. Benja shares key conversations that have helped promote healing in his relationship with his mom. He also lists a few other resources he has found helpful on his journey, i.e. meditation which has helped him through tumultuous pain, as well as prioritizing his physical health AND mental health. He is open and honest about the importance of talking about sexuality and sharing sex education with our children. It is time that we learn our way out of shame. You can take a spin class from Benja at https://mcyclestudios.com/ (MCycle), or find him on the https://www.instagram.com/benhaartist_/ (gram)! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

HAPPY HALLOWEEN sweet babes! We thought we would just surprise drop this into your feed on such a SCARY day! This is the bonus episode we recorded for our https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon) community. If you like this conversation and want to hear more like this, we would love for you to join us there! It's October and we are leaning all the way into that spooky vibe, and there isn't much that is scarier than operating from a scarcity mindset. We start off with a general definition, we share opposing thoughts that both come from this mindset. We discuss how making decisions and calculations from this standpoint naturally puts us in survival mode and operating from a space of fear, resulting in more violence and isolation. Shelby shares an intense experience of allowing that energy to move through her, and allowed her to let go of that fear, to make more room for abundance. We hope you enjoy this conversation on scarcity mindset. It was trippy to realize how soaked into our culture this harmful thinking is. Most of all... we just wanted to take a moment to remind you that no matter what... YOU ARE ENOUGH! Also, have you read https://www.amazon.com/Sincero-Mindset-exciting-authors-Paperback/dp/B08HSBVVXT/ref=sr_1_6?crid=3MT2OMDAXWB4R&dchild=1&keywords=you+are+a+badass+at+making+money&qid=1634675784&sprefix=you+are+a+badass+at+m%2Caps%2C212&sr=8-6 (this book)? We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Well, well, well... we are so pleased to welcome you to Naughty November! Heads up... if you normally listen with little ones around, this episode you might want to save for a mature audience. We think the title probably gives this away, but just in case... we use mature words and discuss maturation and sexual trauma. First things first, we want to invite you to join us November 20th to participate in our book club and live recording that will be aired the following week, here in this feed. We are currently reading "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski. Get your https://www.eventbrite.com/e/i-totally-relate-book-club-tickets-185171822907 (tickets here), and join us for a juicy conversation all about female sexuality! We will provide lunch, drinks, and a cozy atmosphere to dip into this vulnerable topic. Our Naughty November line up includes 1. this episode, 2. a conversation talking about sex with friends, 3. a discussion about boundaries, and 4. the book club live recording that we hope you are a part of. This episode is a very vulnerable one for the two of us. We are basically laying out all the baggage and unhealthy messages we have received and carried around with us for years. Today, we are laying it all on the table and detangling some of toxic beliefs that have colored our sexuality and sexual experiences. Some of the things we discuss we are ready to let go of to make room for more love and acceptance. While at the same time, there are some ideas that are still knotted up and we have more work to do. We use the overall messaging from the book to help us create new perspectives to view our experiences. This book is a GAME CHANGER! We highly recommend it! Let's all make a commitment to be done slut shaming, let go of what we think we are "supposed" to look like or how we think we are "supposed" to experience sexual intimacy. Let's engage in conversations that are centered more on sexual education, self love and acceptance, and let's embrace our "Garden's" and tend to the things WE want to grow. We hope this conversation is inviting and healing for you. Join us in letting go of the things that no longer serve us, so we can make room for lot's of pleasure in our lives! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are so excited for you to join us for another conversation that is part of Naughty November. We are continuing our conversations on sex and female sexuality. This time we have our favorite besties joining us! Welcome back to the pod Terin and Ani! In season one they joined us for episode 19 https://i-totally-relate.captivate.fm/episode/survival-without-attachment-is-trauma ("Survival without attachment is trauma") feel free to give it a listen, these women always elevate the conversation with good laughs and real talk! *This is a mature conversation. We discuss mature topics and use language not suitable for little ears.* We start off discussing why we feel shame about our sexuality and the components that factored into our specific as well as collective thought processes that really brought on shame for us. We touch on institutions that were part of that shame based thinking, and also terminology and slogans that really sank in for us. We walk through the impact of teen pregnancy and sex before marriage, sex outside of marriage, and yes we do in fact talk about masturbation and self pleasure. We define sexuality and sexual palette. We absolutely talk about orgasms and why women fake it. One of the most helpful concepts we discuss is the idea of willingness and desire. If we replace the idea of "the mood" with willingness and desire, we open up our relationships for deeper connection. Rather than trying to get in "the mood" or trying not to kill "the mood" it shifts to a fluent conversation of what your desire is in moment and your willingness to participate in sexual or sensual activities with your lover. We really hope you enjoy this conversation with your girlfriends talking about sex. More importantly, we hope you join the conversation or start your own. We want you to live the most pleasurable life available to you, and it begins with our own self awareness and curiosity! We would be honored to host you November 20th from 1pm-4pm for our Naughty November Book Club, we will be discussing Emily Nagoski's "Come As You Are" we'll have lunch, free flowing drinks, juicy conversation, and an opportunity for you to find pleasure in your life and relationships! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/i-totally-relate-book-club-tickets-185171822907 (Get your tickets here), you are not going to want to miss this! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are absolutely honored to welcome Ana Marques back to the pod. Ana is a trauma informed marriage and family therapist. Ana sat down with us to talk about boundaries. This episode is one of the most important conversations we have recorded so far. As one of the main premises of this podcast is to share the message our younger selves wished we knew... honoring our own boundaries is that key message. Ana gives this community a huge gift by sharing what she knows, simplifying the message, and even giving us some lessons in real time. Let's just start with her definition of boundaries she shares at the beginning of the episode: Boundaries are the psychological, spiritual, physical, and mental distance that I keep between myself and people that allows me to love them and myself at the same time. Our conversation navigates the difference between boundaries and ultimatums, as well as others reactions to your boundaries, and the effect they have on you when you are emotionally boundaried. We discuss boundaries with ourselves, and how to repair our relationships when boundaries are crossed. Ana gives us 5 steps to follow to help set a boundary with ourselves: Recognize our triggers Pay attention to our body sensations Observe the automatic thoughts that come up Ask "what does that mean about me?" State what boundary we need for ourselves Although conversations with a therapist are incredibly helpful and full of insight, it is not a replacement for therapy. Ana encourages us and our listeners to get therapy, conversations are not a substitute for trauma work and processing. This episode is full of wisdom and helpful insight to help you understand and implement boundaries. If you enjoy this episode, we highly recommend you check out "https://i-totally-relate.captivate.fm/episode/mental-health-is-not-mental (Mental health is not mental)" episode 22 from season one, where Ana talks to us about trauma. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are so thrilled to be bringing you this episode today. This episode is the live recording of our Book Club conversation, discussing https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Tom-Plante/dp/B004EIMM6Y/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=come+as+you+are&qid=1637727062&sr=8-3 ("Come as you are" by Dr. Emily Nagoski). This book is a game changer, and we feel that it is a necessary read for all sexually active humans. We hosted several women for this conversation, and we are so excited for you to hear from Shelby, Allison, Linnette, Dawn, Daulton, Kenna, Tava, Korbey, Terin, and Rissy. We start with a brief overview of the book and what to expect if you haven't had the chance to read it yet. We then quickly jump into our favorite things about the text and the deep learnings we drew from reading the pages. Just to start off, we jump right into the concept Emily Nagoski brings home in her book: YOU ARE NORMAL! Ok then, let's all just start setting down all the unnecessary baggage we carry around wondering if we are weird or broken, we are not... we are normal. We all have the same parts, organized differently. We jump right into anatomy and even mention talking about our anatomy with our partners. We spend quite some time talking about the garden analogy and how helpful that has been in allowing us to dispel untrue ideologies about ourselves, our bodies, and our sexuality. The other point in the book that we spend quite some time on, is the three messages we receive about our sexuality and bodies. The moral message: you are evil (slut shaming), the medical message: you are diseased (something is wrong with you, you are broken), and the media message: you are inadequate (comparing ourselves to others). None of these serve us well, and we all are taking in parts of these messages as we are inundated with them. We dip into the brakes and accelerator concept, and how this has been helpful in allowing us to understand our own bodies and helps us to create the right context we need in order to feel safe enough to be vulnerable enough to deepen that emotional intimacy with our partners. Along with the brakes and the context, we discuss the importance of completing the stress cycle, and the key role that self care, self love, and self acceptance play in truly being able to not judge ourselves and really lean in to our sexuality with curiosity in a safe environment. We cannot express enough how important and influential these conversations have been on us personally, as your hosts. We truly hope this is the start of the conversation, and that as you listen along, you feel safe and feel free to have conversations like this with your loved ones. Everyone is doing it, it's time we kick the stigma to the curb and have open and freeing conversations that lead us closer to our best and most pleasure filled lives. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are honored to be sharing this episode with you! Welcome to the pod... Stephen Nibley. Shelby was introduced to Stephen through her yoga teacher training at https://yogaundergroundutah.com/ (The Yoga Underground), and he soon after has been one her meditation coaches and helped her work towards being her higher self. Stephen is a Professor and has taught classes at Utah Valley University and Brigham Young University. He has developed a course that integrates ancient yoga roots and principles along with modern science on how we understand the functions and processes of the brain. The course he developed is called "Where the yoga meets the road" and he goes into depth on some of the principles and foundation on how he can help provide a safe environment for others to heal and progress in releasing old thinking patterns that no longer serve us. This episode is packed with educational aspects, in which Stephen teaches us age old wisdom, terminology, lot's of definitions, and he shares lots of resources that have been helpful for him. One of our favorite parts of the conversation is when Stephen explains the difference between thinking errors (i.e. black and white thinking or as soon as... thinking), limiting beliefs (i.e. I'm not good enough), and traumatic memories. Not only does he help us understand the difference, the definition, and the role they play in our current behavior patterns, he also helps us understand how we can overcome and make necessary changes in our thought organization to make lasting and peaceful results. In this conversation we also touch on masculine and feminine energy, gender signaling, mom guilt, the real definition of power, how to deal with burnout, and what in the world an emotion is. This is a power packed episode! If you would like to work with Stephen you can email him at stephennibley@gmail.com or you can call or text him at 801-427-0683. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We just wrapped up season two, and we have so much love and appreciation in our hearts. We are pausing our weekly episodes in order to get season three ready for all of you. While we not be producing weekly episodes, we will continue to create and share content on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon). Head on over to join us on Patreon and receive bonus material such as a monthly bonus episode, guided breathwork so you can "Meditate with I Totally Relate", journal prompts, and random freebies. We are about to take our Patreon content to the next level hop on over there, join us, and start getting all the resources we share! Twice a month we send out a https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter) that shares inspirational messages, resource round-ups, monthly overviews and more. Our newsletter is a great way to stay in touch with us. Keep in the know while we are busy preparing the next season for you. We like to hang out on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram) 3-5 times a week, so give us a follow to get a peek into our personal lives, reels, and helpful graphics that follow along with our episodes. This final episode of season two is a conversation between the two of us just gushing over how much gratitude we have for you, the sweet listener! We talk through the ways this podcast has grown, and the ways in which this podcast has grown us. We do some reflecting on some of our favorite episodes and guests, the ways they have impacted us, and what season two has been all about. We give a teeny sneak peek into what is coming next for "I Totally Relate" and to be honest... we are so stoked for the next chapter, the next up-level, and all the growth and love that is in store for our incredible community. Stay tuned... we can't wait to share it with you! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We're Baaaaaack! Welcome back to "I Totally Relate!" We are so thrilled for this episode! We've taken a short break from releasing episodes to get the que loaded up for you, oh yeah, and we've been working on something so exciting that we are ready to share with you. That's right, Season 3 Episode 1 has a very exciting announcement. Hang on, we also re-vampedhttps://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true ( Patreon), and we would love for you to join us there. We have 3 tiers with super cool and exclusive content based on your budget and what resources you would like to for us to share with you. Tier 1 or what we like to call "You got this, girl!" is $5 a month. This helps a lot with general support for us to continue this project, and we also send you a random freebie every month. Next we have the "Therapy Babe" tier at $10 a month, and this gives you access to a monthly bonus episode, you can "Meditate with I Totally Relate", you get a 20% Discount on all ITR merch and event tickets, along with the random freebie. Our last tier is the "She Abundant" for $20 a month you get everything from the first two tiers, plus... A MONTHLY PLANNER mailed right to you! We have been working so hard on this incredible tool. It's more than a planner really, sprinkled in the pages of your weekly overviews are intentional journal prompts, thought provoking activities, and full moon exercises. We would love to share this with you, so head over tohttps://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true ( Patreon) and start getting this exclusive content. We spend some time discussing how previous seasons have been healing for our past selves. This season is really building on the current version of who we are. We also spend some time sharing what you can expect from us this season. We are so excited to be back in your feed with weekly episodes. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

It's been a while since we have shared parts of our journey with you. Now that season three has kicked off, we just want to take an episode and catch up with you. We kick it off by sharing how we celebrated the holidays, each of us starting new traditions this year. We chat about how the pandemic has made some big, lasting changes in our little families. Carissa share's some big news by opening up about her relationship this past year, and where she sees it going from here. Shelby shares some of her big goals for this coming year. We talk about books, word of the year, and we share some of our currently loving answers. Check out our currently loving music https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/get-that-energy-right/pl.u-76oNlPbuN6qke9 (playlists here). We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We want to start this episode off with an invitation to join us in this conversation with curiosity and self compassion. Our topic today can evoke a lot of shame and self criticism. We feel like talking through this together can help make the biggest impact for our personal experiences and as a collective. This episode is a lot about Gossip. This topic impacts women, specifically, and is a tool that separates us from each other as advocates for one another. Carissa shares a personal, and difficult experience. Looking at this situation can help us fully understand the detriment and pain that occurs from this behavior, as well as the long lasting consequences. https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Peace-Fourth-Resolving-Conflict/dp/1523001135/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1ER8413SZYI31&keywords=The+anatomy+of+peace&qid=1647391047&sprefix=the+anatomy+of+peace%2Caps%2C2065&sr=8-3 (The Anatomy of Peace) is a great book that was very helpful to help both of us make a sustainable behavioral change. We discuss the importance of discernment, the chance we have to make these connecting moments rather than isolating ones, the contrast between our feminine conversations now, and the most helpful tool that made a big difference for us. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This episode is an interview between Shelby, Carissa, and Kathleen a.k.a. Kat. Kat is a yoga instructor, as well as an earth medicine practitioner, and she hosts lunar events at https://yogaundergroundutah.com/ (The Yoga Underground). We encourage you to follow her on https://www.instagram.com/in.cosmic.rhythm/ (instagram), and you can learn more about what she does at https://www.moonmedicine.earth/ (moonmedicine.earth). If you like what you hear on the pod today, join her for a https://yogaundergroundutah.com/shop/event/moon-medicine/ (lunar event) here. Kat has an incredible ability to show the connection between breath and moon cycles. She walks us through the phases and importance of each moon, the inhale and exhale, and how we can utilize these symbols and moments to bring intentionality and awareness into our lives. We discuss rituals and the importance of them, along with self reflection and the pain and discomfort that can bring. Kat has a gentle way of walking us through those hard moments and how we can use them for the betterment of our experiences. We discuss the menstrual cycles, time keeping, and the sacred connection between all women. The conversation touches on Masculinity and Femininity, Patriarchal and Matriarchal, and the importance of these working together. We are, each of us, a dance of duality in motion. We are in our feels in this conversation. Taking this time to discuss these larger and more fluid ideas can help all of us feel more enlightened and connected. We hope you enjoy taking this time in conversation with us. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Welcome back to another episode of "I Totally Relate". This recording is an interview with Michael Weiss. He is an entrepreneur who has two businesses to help serve this community. He has 10 years in Drug and Substance Abuse Rehabilitation facilities. He opened his own business "Michael Weiss Mentoring" to help deepen the work to close the gap in treatment facilities. He also runs "Ketamine ISS" to help coach and support those who are utilizing ketamine as a healing tool. Michael walks us through the different narratives we have in this country about drugs. By continuing to ignore what we have learned about drugs and addiction, we are furthering the problem by making it a moral failing. Really, addiction is an attempt to solve another problem. He knows this first hand because he experienced a Heroin addiction for several years. With the introduction of alcohol from a friend's parents house, and hard drugs from the understanding he received in D.A.R.E., Michael experienced a lot of hard drug use until the early 2000's when he was introduced to Oxycontin during the opiodemic. That was the warm blanket of security he was looking for until it uprooted his lift. Michael shares very insightful wisdom about how he got there and how he found recovery and healing through his first hand experience. He gives us great journal prompts to personally reflect. We talk about anger, relationships, trauma, psychedelics, feeling our emotions, society's approach, and inner child work. Michael shares a great gift with us by offering his learnings to us. This is an very impactful conversation. If you enjoy this conversation and would like to get in touch with Michael, you can find him on https://www.instagram.com/msw596/ (instagram) or on his website https://www.michaelweissmentoring.com/ (Michael Weiss Mentoring) or https://www.ketamineiss.com/ (Ketamine ISS) or just give him a call at 385-743-9007. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This episode is an interview with Daulton, Shelby, and Carissa. Daulton is a licensed CPA. She has professional experience with taxes, as an accountant for mostly wealthy individuals, and accounting for large corporations. She is here to help us get a more clear picture of money, credit, and the relationship we have with money. Daulton does us all a great favor. Consider this episode a Credit 101. Shelby shares a frustrating financial experience, and Daulton walks us through what to do if/when we find ourselves in a similar situation. We talk about debt, credit, loans, interest and principle, collections, 401k's and IRA's, and budgets. Talking money can be very uncomfortable and bring up feelings of overwhelm or fear. Daulton helps us look at this from the same perspective that we are using to heal and grow ourselves to our highest version. She reminds us throughout this conversation to advocate for ourselves. This includes asking the questions we need to in difficult conversations, and knowing our self. We can create the life we desire when it comes to money when we know ourselves and plan for taking care of ourselves today and our future selves. Daulton has our backs! She shares all the good resources and ideas. Do yourself a favor and check out this https://apps.apple.com/us/app/mint-budget-planner-tracker/id300238550 (app for budgeting), this https://apps.apple.com/us/app/credit-karma/id519817714 (app for checking your credit), and this document to help you https://mail.google.com/mail/u/2/?ui=2&view=btop&ver=ops2cvpehp6#attid%253Datt_17ffab2c069f860e_0.1_7ec75732_c18cf042_ae9bff06_465ef719_af2b7ded%25252FLoan%252520Amortization%252520Schedule.xlsx (make better decisions about the payments) you are making. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com Daulton is ABSOLUTELY a friend of the pod. She has been a guest on our podcast before. You can listen to her in https://i-totally-relate.captivate.fm/episode/i-totally-relates-first-book-club-what-happened-to-you (episode 40) and https://i-totally-relate.captivate.fm/episode/orgasms-happen-in-your-brain (episode 48) and we have a feeling she'll join us again behind the mics. It was a real treat spending time with her in her element. Thank you for listening.

It's April and tax season, and we are rolling ahead with our conversations about money and abundance. We are pumped for you to check out this interview with Michelle Bray, the Purposeful Money Mom. Michelle is a financial educator, she coaches clients on how to create and utilize a budget, she teaches financial principles, and she leads courses to help share the knowledge and resources to help her clients achieve financial security and success. Michelle leads us through how she got to where she is today, where she was when she felt stuck and longed for a different financial situation, and some of the lessons she took from her childhood. She shares definitions and basic principles with us. For instance, she lays out the offense, defense, and playing field of money. Michelle gives us quick history lessons, and expresses the importance of loving yourself and being confident with who you are. Michelle offers a lot of value to her clients, and if you are interested in learning more about her and her work, you should definitely follow her https://www.instagram.com/purposefulmoneymom/ (on the 'gram.) She also discusses the program https://www.amazon.com/Financial-Fitness-Package-Orrin-Woodward/dp/B00F4UKM6I (Financial Fitness). We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Season three has been all about exploring "Who is She?" meaning you! We have poured time into conversations discussing self discovery, we have been intentional with the activities and layout of our planner all leading you closer to yourself. This episode fits snug with this theme. We spent some time behind the mics with Teen Mental Health Coach Missy Allred. Missy spends time one on one with teens who are struggling with anxiety and depression. She works with parents to help define goals, and change the way we "think and feel" about our life circumstances, as a parent and a teen. These are crucial years of self discovery, identity, and these years have a major impact of the rest of our lives. Dipping into "Who is she" as a teenager is crucial and game changing. Missy shares her experience with anxiety and depression as a teen, what helped save her life, and how she is working to give back to the community in need. She shares "The Model" as described by https://jodymoore.com/ (Jody Moore): Circumstance - Thought - Feeling - Action - Result. She walks us through examples of how this impacts us when we aren't aware of it, and how we can change the results we are getting by bringing awareness to our inner thoughts and patterns. We talk about brain development, and how parents can use this understanding to create better connections with their children, and use compassion to help teach them better decision making skills. If you are a parent, you'll love this episode, as we go into the dynamics at play between parents and teens. We discuss the impact of social media on teens mental health, healing generational trauma, and how to help our children and each other navigate a life that will inevitably have pain. To connect with https://www.instagram.com/themissyallred/ (Missy) give her a follow on the 'gram. If you are interested in the Women's Networking group we are a part of, check out https://edynkei.com/elevate (Elevate). We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This episode is an interview with the Thrifting Queen, Angelique of lique'd. We kick it off by sharing how we met and the significance of the item that exchanged hands between Angelique and Carissa. Angelique is an entrepreneur, she upcycles clothing, makes sick drips, teaches others how to do the process, and hosts incredible GNO events on her sick bus. She takes us back to where her story really gets complicated and nuanced. As a young, married, 20 year old Mormon girl she felt like she was doing what she was "supposed" to be doing according her upbringing and religion. Yet, she was feeling worthless, lost, and suffering from a chronic pain that was misdiagnosed. She began to numb with alcohol, as she really wrestled with her worth as a woman, mother, and human being. She was leading a life for other people, and once she received the correct diagnosis, she started healing in one way and feeding addiction in another. This conversation touches on addiction, religion, faith transitions, recovery, healing, and living a life as one's authentic self. Angelique is very inspirational and encouraging in this conversation, and we know you're going to love her just as much as we do. If you are interested in hearing more from Angelique about living in alignment, sobriety, and authenticity, you can find her at https://www.instagram.com/iconically_angelique/ (@iconically_angelique) We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This is an interview with Pualei, the owner of EdynKei in Pleasant Grove. Pualei is an incredible entrepreneur who runs a clothing boutique, facilitates personal styling appointments, hosts local pop-up shops with "Inspiher", facilitates a local women's networking group called "Elevate", and is an overall supporter of female owned businesses. This woman is busy, and on a mission to make this world a better place and it was honor that she took time with us. Pualei shares a little bit about the heartbreak and challenges that she faced as she started her own business here in Pleasant Grove, as well as her purpose and where she is headed in this chapter of her life. The day before the grand opening of her boutique, it became apparent to her that her marriage was over. As she watched a part of her life fall into shambles, she was also building her future and creating the foundation for the life that she desired. She shares how she navigated the difficulties of that first year, and how she discovered "thought work". Her sister in law shared an episode of the podcast "Better than Happy" and Pualei began learning about the neuroplasticity of the brain, and the CTFAR model on how approach challenges in life. Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action, and Result helped her to improve her mental health and her relationships, most importantly... the relationship with herself. We also spend some time on what it means to have confidence, how to lean into your personal strengths, how important it is to do your personal self care, and the power of feeling beautiful. Pualei shares monday magic each week on her https://www.instagram.com/shopedynkei/ (instagram), and all the info you need to be a part of the https://www.instagram.com/events.edynkei/ (events) she is hosting. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This episode is an interview with Delee Cox, the stylist next door. She has a passion for slow fashion. She helps women with their wardrobe, to dress how they like, to dress for themselves, and to be more conscientious about what they bring into their closets.  We jump right into definitions and background information. Slow fashion is a mindset shift. It's about being aware and intentional on where our clothes come from and where they go when we discard them. Delee drops some mind blowing facts on us about fast fashion and the energy we are working with when we consume clothes and products in this way.  To be more intentional, the best place to start is right where you are. Delee will help you shop your closet. Some of the ways she helps you curate the look you are going for is by identifying what you are currently wearing, what you LIKE to wear, what is your lifestyle, make a need to style pile, and make a shopping list. She talks to us about how shopping with a list makes a big difference, because you know what you are looking for rather than being sold to.  Your personal style really impacts so many facets of your life. We talk about weight fluctuations, our tendency to focus on what we don't like about ourselves, our desire to fit in and how we can make our clothes fit us, shopping second hand, as well as shopping with our values.  Delee knows her stuff. It was so fun and impactful having a conversation with her. If you would like to connect with Delee (we don't blame you!) you can get in touch with her through her website: thestylistnextdoor.net or check her out on the ‘gram! @thestylistnextdoor_ut We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Welcome back to another episode of I totally relate, this is an interview with Shannon Ricks of Modern Eve. Shannon is an LMFT who focuses on eating disorders and faith transitions. Ever since she was a young girl, Shannon knew she wanted to be a therapist. So after receiving her degree she gained experience working in a lot of different facilities, including with troubled teens and young adults. She needed more clinical hours after grad school and that's when she began working at the https://centerforchange.com/ (Center for Change). She fell in love with the clientele and ever since has been helping people with eating disorders and body image work. In junior high Shannon realized the difference between her experience and her peers. She has found that it builds and instills confidence to not get appearance based compliments, and to not build your worth around your appearance. Shannon does a fantastic job with helping us understand specific terms and meanings, as well as helping us notice power dynamics at play and power structures. We discuss diet culture and tactics that keep women small within the power structure of the patriarchy, we talk about the messaging in the past that attracted women into the workforce and the messaging that pushed them back into “cute housewives”. We also dig into scarcity mindset and the competition between women. Not only does Shannon do a fantastic job of helping us understand eating disorders empower structures, she also gives us some powerful tools to help walk us back from body hate to body gratitude. In this conversation we also share grief by talking through the love for our body that we miss out on because we experienced so much body discussed. Shannon references the book https://www.mwsg.org/thebodymyth (“The beauty Myth” by Margo Maines). If you'd like to hear more from Shannon, follow her https://www.instagram.com/modern.eve.inc/ (@Modern.Eve) or contact her at https://www.moderneve.org/ (ModernEve.org) We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are excited to share our interview with Vanessa with you. Vanessa is a Health Coach and a Dietician, and she helps women heal their relationship with food. After spending some time living in Korea, her curiosity was peaked around food and eating habits, as she was able to identify a big gap in experiencing the two cultures, Korean and American. When she arrived back in America she went to school to become a dietician, and she is currently helping women who feel stuck. More than just diet, Vanessa helps others work through limiting beliefs and change their mindset that blocks from eating and enjoying nutritious meals. In this conversation we talk about the morality of food. One of the most apparent things we do is label food good or bad, and then make judgements on our meals, our decisions, and our bodies. Vanessa works towards helping others reframe their goals away from weight loss and prioritize energy levels instead. We spend some time in this conversation discussing how much we are fixated on the outward appearance and we miss the opportunity to focus on our own experience. If you would like to connect with Vanessa give her a follow on the https://www.instagram.com/vanessaalardo.nutrition/ ('gram) or find her https://msha.ke/vanessa_alardo/ (online)! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are talking about sex! This is your heads up that we use correct anatomical language and talk about specific sexual acts, so, read the room... listen where appropriate or pop in your headphones, babe! We are sharing our conversation with Tasha Diaz, a Sex Therapist from Covenant Sex Therapy. We are absolutely thrilled to be hosting and sharing this conversation with all of you. Tasha is a licensed marriage and family therapist, she graduated with her masters degree from BYU. She is an approved supervisor in the state of Utah, she works with clients at Covenant Sex Therapy, she has offices through telehealth and Provo Utah. She specializes and has a lot of experience in working with clients who have anxiety and trauma around sexual experiences, as well as sexual addictions. She has also worked with issues surrounding health and eating, body image, and self-esteem, particularly among women. So, Tasha is absolutely the woman that we want to be talking to as we continue to have conversations that help women to step into their own power. We are honored to invite Sex Therapist Tasha Diaz to the pod! We jump right into the aspects of the shame that is involved in our collective and individual sexuality. We briefly touch on the role that the church plays, in that they groom women to be responsible for others experience, and they glorify the sexual experience of the male. We also discuss the historical overviews, the two extremes we tend to take it to, and the fact that women's sexuality gets lost in all this. We talk about how to help our future generations develop a more healthy sexuality individually, we talk about context, masturbation, and how the idea of fun and exciting sex. We know you're going to have important take aways from this conversation, and if you would like to connect with Tasha to grow abundance in your sexual experience, you can https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/covenant-sex-therapy-provo-ut/185018 (reach out to her here). We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

You probably already gathered from the title that this is a conversation meant for mature ears. Yes! We are continuing our conversation about sex and we use anatomically correct language and go into details on how to stimulate the pleasure centers and experience an orgasm. Listen responsibly, folks. Find yourself a comfy seat and buckle up for an absolutely educational conversation that touches on moments of vulnerability, as well as lots of laughs. We sat down behind the mic's to talk with Bekah, a Masters Graduate candidate for Marriage and Family Therapy with a specialization in orthodox systemic sex therapy. She currently has her own coaching practice and she is trauma informed. We kick off the conversation by discussing a few important terms, because the language we use is important. We also chat about how Bekah got to this profession and her path in life. Bekah leads us through historical studies on how boys and girls interact, at what age we have internalized the patriarchy, and who's experience is valued. She shares incredible insight on the inaccurate narratives our cultures and orthodoxy's pass down, and how that impacts our development, including our sexuality. We discuss in great detail how to talk to your kids about masturbation, specifically. We also dig into the important elements needed for healthy sexuality. Spoiler alert... Boundaries are key! She is impeccably intentional around inner child work in relation to sexuality and healing sexual trauma. She even helps walk us through how to start the conversations with our our children. This conversation will not disappoint. We are stoked for you to check it out! You can learn more and connect with Bekah on her https://www.instagram.com/mygurubekah/ (instagram). We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are pleased to introduce you to Aubin Palmer. Aubin is a Certified Life Coach, and she helps women change their thought habits to create the life they desire. Aubin walks us back to when she had attained all the things and titles she thought she wanted: Nurse, wife, Mother, ect. when she realized that even with all these things, she still felt a lack of satisfaction in life. That's when she discovered coaching through podcasts she was listening to, and she was introduced to thought work. She is certified and uses the "Self Coaching Model" from the Life Coach School. Aubin's niche is working with women who are Working Moms. We discuss the unspoken narratives that being a Mom and being a business owner are mutually exclusive, and to be good at one, means the other suffers. So yeah... we dip into mom-guilt quite a bit. If you've ever experienced that feeling, this episode is for you. Because, what Aubin shows us, is that both parts are an important and inspired part of you. You are a MomBoss. You can be your whole self, and in fact, being your whole self is what will lead to your success. We walk through several personal examples on how our thoughts dictate our feelings, and our subconscious thoughts can run our life and belief system with out us even being aware. Aubin uses the CTFAR model, which we discuss in detail. Circumstances are neutral, our Thoughts about our circumstances is what creates our Feelings. Our Feelings dictate our Actions, and that leads to the Results we are getting in life. So, in order to create the life we desire, we must bring awareness and curiosity to our thoughts. If you would like to connect with Aubin and get her free download to help you get your priorities right, follow her on the https://www.instagram.com/aubinpalmercoaching/ ('gram). She does one on one coaching, and also offers one free trial session to get you started in the right direction and see if it's a good fit. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are honored to invite back, friend of the pod, Stephen Nibley. Stephen is a Certified Life Coach and meditation practitioner. He hosts workshops, meditation, and he coaches people one on one. We are really excited to share this conversation with you, Stephen is a well of knowledge and shares it in such a concise and simple manner, we know you are going to get a lot from this episode. We sat down with Stephen to talk all about emotions. Through out the course of this conversation he helps us answer the questions: What are emotions? Where do they come from? And what are we supposed to do with them? In order to answer these questions we dip our toes into how many emotions there are as well as fascinating neuroscience. Stephen has put together his own theory on emotions by studying neuroscientists http://candacepert.com/ (Candace Pert) and https://www.brucelipton.com/ (Bruce Lipton). He also references some compelling new discoveries by https://learninggnm.com/ (German New Medicine). Stephen walks us through the communication process between our brain and our body. He gives us examples of common and detrimental ways that we, as society, react to our emotions. We talk through the key to healing, processing, and understanding our emotions. We spend a good part of this conversation discussing fear, which is your perception of a threat, different forms of fear, and how to resolve and understand our fear. Stephen gives us 3 important questions to ask when we find ourselves in emotional discomfort, and he also shares five steps on how to process your emotions. Stephen does a phenomenal job simplifying seemingly difficult thoughts and emotions. We know you're going to want to hear more from him, so check out episode 49 from season 2: https://i-totally-relate.captivate.fm/episode/to-change-you-gotta-wanna (To change you gotta wanna). Reach out to Stephen through email: stephennibley@gmail.com or call/text him at 801-427-0683. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

*This conversation includes multiple references to sexual assault and suicidal ideation.* We are so happy to share our conversation with Beth, who is a yoga instructor and reiki master. She takes us back to the beginning, when she was 8 years old and remembers suffering from anxiety and depression. She walks us all the way through today, which includes marrying her missionary, and having five children in eight years. Post partum depression was so strong in her experience, that she found herself fantasizing about suicide, and that is when she realized that she needed help. Beth went to therapy, which was the first step of many that led to her spiritual awakening. We love Beth's telling of her experience because she conveys the importance of trusting yourself, and becoming familiar with your intuition. This has been a critical part of our journey and mission of this podcast, and Beth shares her story in a way that highlights this beautifully. Beth has done many remarkable things on her journey including becoming a pre-school teacher, a seminary teacher for students with special needs, and starting a non-profit geared towards mental health solutions for teens. She developed a program to bring yoga and mindfulness to students in underfunded neighborhoods and classrooms. Beth really leans in to her intuition as she started unraveling her doubts about her religion as she was finding peace and hope on her yoga mat. Her curiosity led her to examine the inconsistencies between the teachings and the culture in the LDS church. We hope that this personal story telling helps you find peace in trusting yourself and is a beautiful reminder that you have everything you need to create the life you desire. You can hear more from Beth by checking out the podcast she hosts with fellow yogi friend https://www.buzzsprout.com/1975564 (Beth and Alissa surf the cosmos), or you can give her a follow on https://www.instagram.com/bethmwilliams/ (instagram). We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

We are beyond thrilled to share our interview with Tess, The Enneagram Mom, with you today. Tess was a Social Media Manager for other companies, when during COVID she lost multiple accounts and went from making $10,000/month to $400. During this challenging time of what felt like defeat, she finally purchased and read the Enneagram books, one of which was "https://www.amazon.com/Road-Back-You-Enneagram-Self-Discovery/dp/0830846190 (The Road Back to You)". This reading brought insights that helped her understand herself on a deeper level, including her traumas and her pain. Tess changed her instagram account to https://www.instagram.com/the.enneagram.mom/ (@the.enneagram.mom) and started sharing what she had learned with other women on instagram. It was the key that unlocked what she desired. Tess has grown tremendously just through helping women understand themselves and the key relationships in their lives. All season long, we have been asking "Who is she?" and this conversation will be critical in helping guide you to a deeper understanding and knowing of yourself. The enneagram is based on how you see the world, your deepest desires and fears. We know you'll love this episode and hearing from Tess. If you would like to hear more from Tess, check out her podcast https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy8zYjJkODdiMC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw== (The Enneagram Mom) follow her on the https://www.instagram.com/the.enneagram.mom/ ('gram) and get a 1:1 session with her find out your number. You can also check outhttps://www.enneagraminstitute.com/ ( the enneagram institute website) to learn more in depth about each number. In this episode, Tess gives us an overview of each number, she walks us through the stress and growth of each number, and even does a 1:1 with Shelby on the spot. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Have you had a chance to check out our monthly planner? We create a planner each month that includes journal prompts and growth activities. We have learned so much on our own healing journey, and we put all the resources we've gathered into one tangible tool that we mail directly to you each month. The planner includes intentions and reflections, therapy takeaways, meal planning, daily to-do lists, weekly overviews, and 6 new journal prompts that coordinate with the monthly theme. Sign up for the https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true ("She Abundant" tier on Patreon), and you can have this beautiful resource sent directly to you! This season we have gone from interview to interview to interview. We haven't really had the time in between to share some of our favorite insights and learnings from each of our incredible guess. So, we've dedicated the last episode of season three to sharing all of our reflections and favorite moments with each interview. We are so excited to share with you some of the most impactful learnings we've taken away from these incredible conversations, and you know we're dying to hear from you! Send us an email or a DM of your favorite episode, or one of the key takeaways for you from season three. We are getting right to the drawing board and getting started on bringing the next level conversations to you for season four! Make sure you are subscribed to the pod, so as soon as season four is ready for you, it will drop right into your feed. It has been an honor spending time together each week, having meaningful conversations and growing together as a community. BRB, babes! We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45038330&fan_landing=true (Patreon), follow us on https://www.instagram.com/itotallyrelatepod/ (Instagram), sign up for our https://view.flodesk.com/pages/603934d2eeca3dea6ce8d8f2 (newsletter), or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Welcome to season 4, bitches! It's been a long time, and a lot has changed in the interim. This episode we sit down just the two of us to give you an update on what is going on. We have been busy getting our ducks in a row so we could be where we needed to be in order to share this next chapter of our journeys with you. Carissa is officially divorced, and we talk custody schedule and real heavy mom feelings. We talk about how she ended up where she found herself, and how she has learned to help herself. Shelby gives us a quick update on what she has been up to, and we talk about consistency, especially when it comes to meditation and self care routines. You know we can't talk about meditation without sharing our favorite resource Headspace. We had our first fight, and dish about the deets and insight as we navigate new heights of our relationship. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Disclaimer: We had an audio malfunction during the recording of this episode. The thing about it, is that this conversation is so important and beautiful, we had to release it, regardless. If you can bear with us through this learning experience, we think you will really appreciate the authenticity in this conversation. Carissa opens up the episode with some raw truth about where she is in her experience. We both talk through wishing we had a good syllabus to use in this time of uncertainty in this growing experience. Shelby opens up about her experience within her family dynamics. We both talk through where we would say we are on the map. We share some of our hopes and clarify what we are doing in these conversations. We are not claiming expert, we are just sharing what the messy middle looks like. We are just offering the learnings we collect as we try to do our best and live a life aligned. We promise to bring vulnerability and honesty. Whether we are discussing big heavy topics like previously mentioned or other topics such as toxic positivity or being boy crazy. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This week we sat down with Terin, a friend of the pod and Rissy's bestie. We sat down to record a conversation about friendships in hard times. The conversation starts with how Rissy met Terin and Ani. We walk through where we were and and where we are now. Terin and Rissy got divorced within a few months of each other, so the similiarities of their emotional and physical situations is totally relatable! We discuss the importance of friendships, how we have been there for each other, we definitely dish about the dating scene, and we share some insight on how to cultivate relationships like this. It's a beautiful gift. Trust us, you want this too!We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

Listen up folks, come for a conversation about morning routines, stay for a conversation about neuroscience and shame. We were asked by a listener about our morning routines and we are stoked to share because both of us feel like a consistent morning routine that intentionally connects you to yourself and your body was one of the most impactful tools that is part of our own healing journeys. In this conversation both Shelby and Carissa talk through how to structure a routine, the important elements, and the effect that it has had. We share ideas of what has been helpful and encourage you to create your own if you don't already have one. We also touch on the importance of rest, breath work, and self talk. You'll hear us reference Headspace the meditation app and a super rad and impactful book by Louise Hay called You Can Heal Your Life. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

In this episode we discuss our recent out of town trips. Rissy went to Vegas, Shelbs went to LA. We catch up and Rissy shares the deets about an old relationship and the vacation that was very helpful in understanding her emotional responses to situation. We discuss love bombing, dating, as well as some pretty vulnerable details. We also quickly talk about finding balance and ebbs and flows. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

This episode is a conversation between Shelby and Rissy. We discuss coping strategies or our drug of choice. We walk through an identity crisis, and the patterns and cycles we observe in our current lives. Most of it revolves around romanticizing our lives and keeping commitments to ourselves. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com

In this episode, Shelby spills the tea on her recent Kambo experience. We create and share additional content each week, you can join us on Patreon, follow us on Instagram, sign up for our newsletter, or send us your thoughts and feedback at itotallyrelatepod@gmail.com