The Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide

This Week: The Flatwoods Monster! We're finally talking about her! The massive, terrifying, smelly, lightbulb-shaped alien girl of your dreams! Today, we dive into the fascinating, terrifying, trendsetting case of the Flatwoods Monster, who not only stole our hearts but paved the way for a massive trend of aliens in the media with her signature look! Today's topics: Don't get out of your car in the woods; people don't know what bears are; the National Guard didn't prepare you for this; could you care for a Bigfoot? ; the Flatwoods Monster's legacy in anime and manga; neither of us can keep a tamagotchi alive; is the Flatwoods Monster a MILF?

This Week: The Mogollon Monster! Finally, an absolutely unhinged bigfoot! Does your ideal man have matted grey hair, a handheld weapon, red eyes, and an unquenchable thirst for violence? Whether you're caught unawares on a school trip or running an ultramarathon in your 3D printed shoes, seeing such a powerful entity can be a little intimidated, but we promise, he'll find his way into your heart...or he'll murder you and steal your very expensive cabin in the woods. We can't really tell! Today's topics: You mean you DON'T like lake musk?; oh shit, sasquatch has tool dexterity; sometimes, houses that are more expensive...are worse; The Mogollon Takes Manhattan; you never want to hear screams in the forest; Cas's new audience engagement strategy; David Bryne is the REAL cryptid; monster shoes!!!; ultramarathons; forensics is getting involved; BFRO, please let us antagonize bigfoot hunters in the field.

This Week: A Whole Bunch of Strangely-Shaped Aliens! Wow, these little guys look SO weird! Have you ever dreamed of being chased by amorphous blobs? Have you ever had the specific, irrational fear that a giant egg will kill you and steal your car? Have you ever seen some cube-headed idiots nearly run their UFO into an old lady's house? Well, today's your lucky day! Today we're diving into the Medford Shmoos, The Saybrook Blockheads, the Stinkblobs, The Pendelli Egg, AND the Domsten Blobs, and they all have some ABSOLUTELY wild shit going on!! Today's topics: Don't eat the Shmoos, they enjoy it too much; "I ASSURE YOU WE ARE NORMAL PEOPLE"; Cas's closet is now a weird little alien sanctuary; THE SADIE HAWKINS DANCE IS WHAT??????; "All Too Well (Alien Blockhead Car Crash Version)"; oh god someone did actual geometry; climate change is impacting chupacabra migration patterns (or there's a mange outbreak); I saw (my own animatronic) Sasquatch; #FreeTagTheBear; that's one vengeful exocrine pancreas; star jellies; ethical dilemma: would you abandon your podcast co-host to save yourself from a murderous blob?

This Week: Air Rods and Sky Serpents Have you ever seen something weird in the sky, and then later decided you had seen a horrible beastie? Do you look at large flocks of birds and worry that an aerial serpent was coming to kill you? Do you ever want to just make up some wild bullshit about monsters because an insect got in the way of your perfect photo of the sky? Today, we're talking about air rods and sky serpents, two strange sky phenomena that have attracted a LOT of wild buzz about them. Today's topics: People try to pretend that they're doing science; a professional stunt skateboarder deals psychic damage; visual effects from two nerdy perspectives; JFK, Mel Gibson, and the Virgin Mary; friends don't let friends support NFTs; a flock of devils attacks the kraken; is the US government trying to gaslight UFOlogists; is that a bunch of birds, or is that a big sky snake; snakes can break the laws of physics if they want.

We've often discussed the possibility of cryptid ASMR on the show, but this week, it's a host of cryptids who are audio only! We know they exist (maybe) because they sure are loud. A host of debates arise around the size and shape of these folks and where they've gone since. This week it's the Bloop, the Hum, the 52 Hertz Whale, and more--a bunch of strange sounds and the (possible?) beasts behind them. Today's topics: The Bloop NEEDS to be real because it would be so funny; attempting to bring reason to the cryptidz wiki; yes Leonardo DiCaprio was somehow relevant today; can cryptids cause tinnitus; where would you least like to hear a terrifying noise; lots of cryptid art out there; and are you really being invaded by ufos or do you just not know how to read a radar?

This Week: The Big Bird, the Kansas City Winged Demon, and the Ropen! Are you intimidated by large birds? Do you find something just a bit unsettling about the flying, vengeful descendants of dinosaurs that seem to lurk in every tree or roost near every pond? Well, we've got a long line up of some of the biggest, most unsettling bird-like creatures you can imagine today! These winged demons have intimidated passerby, stared at driveways from nearby foliage, and just creeped a lot of people out! Join us as we take a stroll through the wonderful world of bird cryptids, and make sure you don't get too close to these bad boys! Today's topics: A worldwide tour of Sesame Street; just how big is an ostrich?; could you take down a bird in a fight; can puppeteers fly; the Cryptidz Wiki story exchange; bioluminescent birds???; locals know about their own biodiversity, crypozoologists!; National Geographic predicts bird evolution; is it a pterosaur, quiz edition.

This week: the Snallygaster! You know what the coolest part about Maryland is? Set down your crab traps, get off the board walk, and wander into the countryside with us, because there's something you GOTTA see. After all, who wouldn't want to bear witness to a giant, half-bird, half-lizard, flying beast with a metal beak and octopus tentacles coming out of its mouth! Hide your sheep and keep your most vulnerable farmers away from this beastie (unless you've got a vat of moonshine on-hand), because today, we're talking about the Snallygaster! Today's topics: Dramatic cryptid death scenes; reptile phylogeny; moonshine; a culinary experience; the very last Friendly's; would you turn your home into a cryptid museum; oh well, the aliens are coming; a Fallout 76 quiz; fearmongering with monsters; dissolve a monster in Mountain Dew.

This week on ACSG, it's a double header of TWO Siberian hominids. We go all in on how the hell hominids work here, and the issues within the USSR with cryptozoology (spoilers: they were not very good at pseudoscience). One squatch is busy stealing your animals while the other is offering you nuts and berries. And one question lingers: why do governments hide [ignore] their very real [very fake] cryptids! It's all about the Almas and the Chuchunya this week! Topics include: how long would it take you to go woods crazy; please stop shooting the bears!; government bureaucracy is impeding on my sasquatch rights; the last surviving homos; eye-level with a yeti; bigfoot wants you to get vaccinated (or he'll kill your family).

Are you afraid of lights? Circles? Things which float? Then this episode is terrifying! This week is all about ghost lights, including the will-o'-the-wisp, corpse candles, and the Min Min lights! A triple threat of an episode where we mostly ask "okay, so how does swamp gas work anyway?" Sit down and remember to never trust lanterns (despite how cool they are). Topics include: where are fantasy writers getting their stuff from; atmospheric reactions; UFOs are killing ghosts; I don't want to play guessing games about my untimely demise; wouldn't you like to torment your descendants?; are these things scary or do people just not like raves; and GHOSTS ARE NOT AUTUMN EXCLUSIVE PHENOMENA.

This Week: El Monstruo de Cojimar! Shark week might be six months away, but that's not gonna stop us! We have our OWN shark week here at the Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide, and this week we're taking some time to discuss a BIG albino shark that was found in Cojimar, Cuba! Grab your boat, your fishing pole, and your IKEA shark, because today's episode is 100% shark content! Today's topics: Real sea monsters; don't eat the children; genes, evolution, and one big boy; Cas nerds out about science; don't put a saltwater fish in a lake; CONFIRMED: Bigfoot is just a leaf; how big is a shark's liver??; sharks don't want to eat you; whale sharks, giant squids, and the Megalodon; bite force.

This Week: The Jackalope! Look, a weird bunny! Isn't he cute? Whether it's a rabbit with an unfortunate disease, a weird new style of taxidermy, or a massive statue at Wall Drug, the Jackalope is an iconic American symbol that speaks to the beauty and oddity of nature...wait, they aren't real??? Today, we cover the Jackalope, an adorable horned rabbit that Cas legitimately thought was real for many, many years. Today's topics: Only the weird animals eat lunchables; the states are fightinggg (over the Jackalope); beloved Pixar shorts and Scooby-Doo specials; deathbed cryptid confessions; taxidermy's big break; Papillomavirus doesn't fuck around; weird rabbits of the world; Jude gets gaslit by Alien Reddit; grain entrapment.

This Week: The Pope Lick Monster! Goatmen, creepy triangles, and brutal railroad murders? Wow, this dude is intense! Not only that, but he also has a bunch of weird friends in other lick-related cities—weird! Today, we investigate the Pope Lick Monster, a brutal half-man, half-goat (half-sheep??) monster living underneath the Pope Lick Trestle and terrorizing unfortunate victims, and all his fucked up "Big Lick Triangle" friends. Today's Topics: Discount creepy triangles; inter-dimensional Margaritaville; what's the difference between a Sheepman and a Goatman?; holy shit, this guy kills people???; satanic, spell casting, or just seductive?; the dumbest engineering idea ever; Goatmen of the world unite; aliens; the production value of false alien sightings; the other members of the Lick Triangle; Fluorescent Freddie.

This Week: The Minerva Monster! Ohio's mostly farm and swamp. So what happens when some swamp beast comes to kill your dog, throw rocks at your house, and just generally be kind of a jerk? You start a city wide hunt for him. Here in the small town of Minerva, residents are harassed for years by a strange hairy beast. This bigfoot brethren distinguishes itself with a number of oddities. Question 1: why does it have no neck? Question 2: hold on, are those other monsters? And question 3: are you actually a bear, sir? From 1942, to 1978, and then also 2019 once, we cover the whole Minerva Legacy. Today's Topics: the horrors of McDonalds characters; Bigfoot, get your gun; do you think the Minerva Monster has an exotic pet license; the terrible truth of Bigfoot's penis; thrilling tractor talk; stop getting experimental bone surgery; and why you shouldn't threaten ape men with your crappy 70s car.

This Week: The Minnesota Iceman! Seeing a frozen man? Not an unusual phenomenon in the frozen tundra of Minnesota. Seeing a giant hairy man frozen in a big block of ice? Now THAT'S something worth seeing...or it would be, if it weren't a total hoax. Today, we discuss the legendary (and disgraceful) Minnesota Iceman, the closest thing that Minnesota has ever gotten to having a hairy hominid of its very own. Today's Topics: Where do you get a frozen dude?; Cryptids tried to teach us the Dewey Decimal System; Length DOES matter (when studying hominids); What if we were French cryptozoologists (and we were both boys); Antagonize the crypto bros; A great ape WILL break your spine; The FBI decides not to investigate a potential murder; Gorilla warfare. Check out Dead Ink Apparel: https://deadinkapparel.storenvy.com/ Support the "Hungry for Humans" Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/lonelyherogames/hungry-for-humans

This Week: Phantom Cats! Seriously, don't run from the random, giant cat wandering around your neighborhood. How did it get there? We don't know. Why is it chilling out in an area that's WAY outside where its natural habitat is? Ask Eberhart. What we DO know is that running from any of these anomalous big boys will engage their prey chase instinct and you'll become either an eviscerated victim on the hillside or the subject of a VERY viral tik tok. Today's topics: The various feline beasties of England; the tiger man who shall not be named; Scooby Doo; survival tips; support independent creators; cryptidcore; Ohio's weird bobcat-centric traditions; Minnesota's only good sports team; Cats: the Movie. Listen to the Weird Podcast: https://jointheweird.com/ Support the Windy Woods Campfire Creatures Kickstarter: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/windywoods/campfire-creatures-mothman-cryptid-plush-and-pins

This week, it's all about American Vampires! We're taking you back to the 1800s once more, this time in America! It's a most terrible time to have tuberculosis in New England. I mean, it's never a good time, but now you and your loved ones are getting accused of vampirism! It is pretty much the worst and everyone's dealing with it. Of course, that's all probably just superstition. After all, there are REAL American Vampires too, aren't there? Yes, besides the vampire panic, we get into the modern myths and folklore around vampires in America. It's as much fact as fiction (well, no, not at all, it's mostly fiction) and we take you through all the intersections. Today's Topics: Vampire fiction into vampire hysteria; please do not eat your loved ones ashes' for power; vampire rumors becoming common folklore; New England vampires; Richmond Vampire; Vampire: the Masquerade; real life New Orleans vampires; is drinking blood gross (yes) or sexy (maybe); can you do anthropology on vampires.

We've got more dogs coming your way, both substantially more violent and substantially more likable than our last few. This week, it's the Black Dog, a wide array of monsters from the Barghest to the Church Grim! Is the Black Dog good? Bad? Morally neutral? Depends on where you go and is very distinctly possible based on whether you're a Christian or not. Did you know dogs have religious affiliations? Yeah, we didn't think so either. Churches all across England have seen these things, as well as plenty in East Europe and North America. We've got a regular kennel club going here, folks. Today's Topics: types of Black Dog; do not drinker river water; Theo Brown's research; wow the Black Dog is like everywhere actually; would YOU trust a very large dog to watch your kids; gosh I hope we didn't get tricked into an NFT thing; and SCP Foundation spoofs are not the same as actual folklore.

This Week: the Cardiff Giant! Wow, it's a big guy! He's like. 10 feet tall. That's really big. I mean, it feels really big, right? Do you think other giants think this guy is kinda small? How do those eight foot tall people feel about this guy? Today we talk about the Cardiff Giant, a petrified humongous man discovered in New York, the talk of the state for a couple months. Before the TRUTH came out about this bad boy. Today's topics: hoaxes and hucksters; stone penises; biblical literalism; the world's most expensive prank; fake fake giants; can we get PT Barnum to make even worse financial investments; SomethingAwful and the Golden Age of internet horror; is it okay to disturb private property if it's your cousin (the answer may surprise you); the mythic American giants; the REAL American giants; get a rock guy to talk about rocks, not a biologist; please do not substitute conspiratorial belief based upon current public interests for proper scientific study; STOP DIGGING UP DEAD BODIES!!!!!!

This Week: The Michigan Dogman! Oh my god, a dog! We love dogs! They're so cute and fluffy and...wait, why is this one 7 feet tall? And why does he look so...threatening? Wuh oh, this isn't an ordinary dog, this guy means business! Today we investigate the Michigan Dogman, a big scary boy (or perhaps just a radio DJ in a fursuit) wreaking havoc in the Upper Midwest. Today's Topics: Jude's freshman year film project; werewolves; Satan and his Witches; Cas's deep analysis of a prank song; is your butcher a werewolf?; don't eat fucked up meat; Puppet History is a primary source; werewolves WILL steal your girl; the cutest cryptid drawings you've ever seen; shaky cam snowmobiles; horny cryptidz fans.

This Week: The Gloucester Sea Serpent! What's the coolest thing you can possibly see in New England? Sure there are a lot of buildings, cities, and people bustling about on the east coast, but if you ask your local cryptid nerd, you might want to take a right at Cape Ann and stare straight at the water. If you sit there and wait for several hours, or try to go fishing, or hang out with a very specific pair of Gloucester ladies, you might see a funky little sea monster in them there waters. Today's topics: Just two gals being socially-ostracized pals; the Rumor Weed; this boy could outrun a boat; the Magical Worm on a String; the biologists are here; you can use kegs as a unit of measurement; I hope it has bones; foot physiology; summer fun in Provincetown; narwhals; cryptid kitties and the coconut rabbit; cryptocurrency callout; literature reviews; scoliosis; a turtle could kill you if it wanted to.

This Week: The Grafton Monster! Have you ever looked at a big, scary, fleshy monster and thought, "this would look so much cooler without a head"? Well, if not, you might be a bit horrified by the star of our podcast today. He's massive, he's fleshy, and he's scaring all the teens and seducing all the lonesome fishermen in West Virginia. If you're looking for a bulky boo from a state LOADED with hunky cryptid bachelors (and Mothman isn't to your taste), look no further than this unsettling, squishy quarterback of a dude! Today's topics: Monster-hunting teens in the woods; the UFO craze; that's no monster, that's a lady with her fridge!; gaslight, girlboss, grafton monster; monotremes are cryptids in their own right; the inherent romanticism of fishing alone; the return of Diakujia.

This Week: The Beast of Bray Road! Do you like wolves? Well, of course you do, they're a vital component to their ecosystem and they're the the evolutionary precursor to man's best friend! But do you like wolves that run on their back legs as fast as a car, tear apart people's vehicles, get into staring contests with locals, and push your books off their shelves? If that seems a little too demonic for your liking, be glad you don't live on Bray Road! Today we travel to Wisconsin to investigate a nasty little wolf man running through town inspiring terror and terrible movies. Today's topics: Befriend your bus drivers; Satanic elements; Burger King vs. the Wolfman Diet; roid rage; demon licenses; it can't always be Bigfoot; the Hairy Hand Case; Christian Rock Band, Skillet; polarizing thriller movies; How Many Kills from The Lost Tapes?; the cryptidz wiki doesn't know how DNA works.

This Week: Tahoe Tessie! Here on our humble little podcast, few creatures are as beloved and revered as our sea monsters. Cults shenanigans aside, there's something so awe-inspiring and terrifying about the idea of a giant beastie just lurking under the surface, waiting to snap up a tourist or drag some random jerk to the watery depths. How fun! Today, we're taking a trip to Lake Tahoe, one of the deepest lakes in the United States and home to our very own leviathan: Tessie! Today's topics: Mob hits; ghost ships; dinosaurs don't look the way you think; Gritty; some racist bullshit; the return of Weird California; fun costumes; Benjamin Button; Bigfoot in the State Legislature; eutrophication in your cocktail; Among Us: Lake Monster Edition; the greatest monster of all.

This Week: The Sheepsquatch! Well, we're finally covering West Virginia's biggest cryptid! No, no not that one, this one lives in the woods and...no, not that one either. Wow, West Virginia has a bunch of these creatures, huh! Today, we introduce you to the Sheepsquatch, a giant, woolly beast living in the woods, traumatizing passerby, peeing on cryptid hunters, and dropping some truly sick tracks while they do it. Today's topics: Diogenes on Twitter; Satan, were-sheep, or furry; would you pay $13,000 for a Beanie Baby?; hot people privilege; overdramatized cryptid TV; Fallout 76; an absolutely fantastic DJ; movie monsters; Shrek the Sheep.

This Week: The Voronezh Aliens! Holy shit, these aliens shot a child with a multi-dimensional ray gun! And the government confirmed their existence! And then the CIA tried to get to the bottom of the issue by...paying a fake psychic a lot of money. We've covered some wild stories in our time on this podcast, but hold onto your hats, folks, this one is WILD. Today we travel back to the USSR to uncover the absurd, confusing, and terrifying Voronezh encounter. Today's topics: The Cold War; cute robot companions; the (nonexistent) mountains of Jupiter; the CIA wants some psychic warriors; scientist character assassination; an unfortunate milk maid; return of the Squonk; moth lady; thought bacteria; the new intergalactic KGB.

This Week: The Dark Watchers! Hey, did you steal my Netflix password again? I'm seeing a lot of "10 hours of mountain views" popping up in my queue...wait, what's that creepy figure on the mountain peak? No, no, it's not doing anything particularly malicious, it's just standing there. Staring straight into the camera. Wow, that's unsettling. Today, we dive into the mystery of the Dark Watchers of the Santa Lucias Mountains, a group of shadowy cryptids with terrific fashion who just creepily stare at unsuspecting hikers. Today's Topics: Finally, a fashionable cryptid; expensive catalogues of landscape art; give the creepy shadow people some nuts and berries; masonic rituals; hook hand car door hook man; Super Mario spectators; beefalo; the Brocken Spectre; we love our California friends!

This Week: The Cennina Aliens! Who doesn't love the beautiful countryside of Tuscany? There's wonderful food, beautiful sights, lovely wine, funny little aliens running around...wait, what was that last one? Travel with us to Italy as we investigate the 1954 "Lotti Case," where two jovial intergalactic pranksters tear up the town, steal some flowers, and terrify several unsuspecting witnesses. Today's Topics: Little Italy; the elevated groutfit; translation mishaps; Cas's anthology of awkward interactions; extraterrestrials that need car seats; wardrobe malfunctions; an inordinate amount of whale penis talk; diversity win! The invading aliens are gay.

This Week: The Big Red Eye! He's a creep! He's a weirdo! What the hell is he doing here? Seriously, man, what the hell are you doing creeping around people's homes, screaming in their woods, and stalking them on their way home from the dentist??? Come on, man, cut it out. Today we cover the Big Red Eye, the creepiest and most violent sasquatch we've covered so far. Today's topics: Unwanted houseguests; Smokey the Bear's woods-dwelling nemesis; legal weed; the Pacifists of Fury; post-dentist appointment harassment; it's always Ronald Reagan; the wild world of Bigfoot believers; possums, ghost birds, and the Fermi paradox; how NOT to behave at a monster festival; the most unfuckable sasquatch.

This Week: The Loveland Frogman! Here at the Amateur Cryptid Survival Guide, we know that few creatures are as lovely and precious as frogs. We love them! And, you know what they say, if you love little amphibians, you'll love three-foot-tall frog monsters wandering around the place! Today's topics: Pokémon Go; please don't shoot at cryptids; the Big Boy; the Ice Man and the Modern-Day Jonah; amphibious besties; the magic of Dungeons and Dragons; poisonous frogs and Cas's murderous crab.

This Week: The Space Brains of Palos Verdes! It's season two time! Did you miss us? Did you meet any creepy creatures on an empty road in the middle of the night that floated towards you and spat some doomsday prophecies in your direction as revenge for you hitting them with your car? No? Well, no worries, we're coming at you this week with two Cali dudes who had that exact scenario happen to them way back in 1971. Today's Topics: Podcaster reunions; would you kick a brain?; the pros and cons of hypnotism; dark forebodings; alien invasions; Cryptid News; watcha doin' with that microchip; the inevitable spiral into the world of conspiracy.

This Week: The Mongolian Death Worm! Have you been craving some worms in your life since our season premiere? Well, we've definitely wanted to talk about this bad boy for AGES, so what better way to honor our love of horrible little worms than using them to bookend our first series? The Mongolian Death Worm is a NASTY little thing that inspires death and suffering everywhere it goes, so steer clear of it (unless you have a big rock handy). Today's Topics: Archeology; Nasty parasites; Inspirational desert worms; Scooby-Doo; Brokeback Mountain: The Lost Tapes edition; The goddamn bobbit worm; Forced biodiversity; Christopher Walken; Dune; The puss caterpillar.

This Week: The Pascagoula Humanoids! Hey weird, grey aliens! Listen, 2020 hasn't been the best year, and we were just wondering...do you have any room on your space ship? We realize that your hosting style has been kind of hit-or-miss (as evidenced by the man you scarred for life), but after the last yew months, we'll take out chances. Do you do intergalactic VRBO? Today's topics: Carrots; Hosting etiquette; Alien medical malpractice; Threats; Inconsistent stories; Hypnotherapy; The who's who of Wikipedia; The Gulf Coast; Themes in alien movies; Hallucinations.

This Week: Santa Claus! 2 episodes in one week? It really IS Christmas! This week, we dive into the elusive, mysterious, seemingly omnipotent, and physics-defying creature at the center of the Christmas season (the old one, not the baby one). Is he an alien? A program? Or just a malicious little capitalist? Whatever he is, make sure you leave him something to eat, because he's coming to a podcasting app near you at LIGHTNING speed! Today's topics: Capitalism; Aging; Personal vendettas; Saints who have just had enough; Pickling; UFOs; Evil plots; Indigo Children; Among Us; Our childhoods. Music: O Tannenbaum (Dee Yan-Key Version)

This Week: The Sabine Thing! Have you ever been to the Sabine River? You know, the one where the haggard old sasquatch goes when his ex won't let him see the kids? Well, if you ever go, make sure you get out of there before he shows up, or you'll be in for a whole lot of drama! Today's topics: Poetry; Shitty boyfriends in horror movies; Eyes that are just a bit unsettling; The Bigfoot Militia (it's not what you think it is); Single dad vs. unhinged divorcee; The other Cas; More cult shenanigans; Near-death experiences.

This Week: Orange Eyes (and friends)! Imagine: a young, jaundiced sasquatch enjoys a warm cup of tea inside his tunnel under a cemetery. He pays his bills, considers going back to the doctor to evaluate his liver, but before he can even take another sip of tea, a municipal government destroys his home! How rude! Our sad hero takes his little tea set and moves to the Charles Mill Lake, which seems like a nice place to crash except for one problem: he's not the only monster living in this lake. Today's topics: Independent cryptid theatre productions; Jaundice and associated conditions; Displaced cemetery-dwellers; Microbreweries; Pumpkin spice; Competitive gardening; Traffic safety; UFOs; Plagiarism shaming.

This week: the Tatzelwurms! How do you like your dragons? Cat-shaped? Relatively portable? Twistin' around like pretzels? Well, good news! We've found you a couple funny little dudes that are all three! Hang onto your hearts and your lungs, because the Tatzelwurms are coming into town, and they might have something contagious! Today's topics: Portable dragons; Mythical tales of epic duels; Making fun of dead relatives; Languages of the Alps (we don't speak them); Pretzels of the world; Bones?; Original sin; Anthrax.

This week: The Toronto Tunnel Monster! A weird night, a missing cat, and a startling encounter has everyone wondering: what on EARTH is living in the Toronto tunnel system? Is it an escaped primate, a bizarre creature from Cas's sociology textbook, or just a very short and hairy dude? Whoever it is, maybe it's best to stay out of those winding underground pathways once the sun goes down… Today's topics: A Canadian geography lesson; The parable of the Schmoo; Suing for Negligence; The exotic pet trade; Linguistic research; Planet of the Apes; Cats: the OFF-Broadway version.

This Week: The Salt Lake Monsters! Ah, the Great Salt Lake. The perfect place to have a nice outing with your kids! Learn about the ecosystem, teach your youngsters about the magic of brine shrimp, and...come face-to-face with a salt-crusted, horse-eating, winged fiend?!?! You get in your minivan to high-tail out of there, but what's this—ANOTHER monster, coming towards you on the other side?!?! Two monsters in one lake: more likely than you'd think. Today's topics: Count your blessings (and your lakes); The LSD saints (and also the mormons); Don't lick the decorative salt rock; man-eating horses and horse-eating monsters; Salt puns; Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo; Brine shrimp literature.

This week: Colossal Claude! His Lordship of the Deep approaches! This week, we investigate a very big (and slightly threatening) ocean-dweller terrorizing the fishing vessels of Oregon's coast. Join us as we redesign lighthouses, track down an anti-cryptid oil conspiracy, and examine just what part of this cryptid has every fisherman claiming that he's "evil." Today's topics: Ocean camels and King Salmon; Catfish, revisited; A pacifist's redesign of the military; Shell oil; The bloodlust of elephant seals; Leviathan, in MY bathtub? You never know; Anti-giraffe propaganda.

This week: The Van Meter Monster! What would you do if you saw a giant pterodactyl with a giant, magical unicorn horn horn? Would you shoot at it? Would you tell all your friends? If you're a mustachioed Iowan bachelor, an ancient avian terror, or an innocent bystander, join us on this wild, WILD tale! Today's topics: Diogenes; "The Ugg Boot Banker"; Bulletproof monsters; Tastefully-placed broken glass; Bad book reviews; Poorly-aged Facebook posts; OSHA.

This Week: The Lone Pine Mountain Devil! Imagine: you're on a mountain hike, ready to settle into your campground for the night, and then you're suddenly attacked by some horrid, winged thing! Watch out if you've got PG-13 plans on the Lone Pine Mountain, because this bad boy answers the question "what if school chaperones were inconsolably violent and generally horrifying?" Today's topics: Snow in Nevada; Dinosaurs; A wild night gone terribly wrong; Hoaxes of the 2010s; Pangaea; A treasure trove of internet horrors.

This week: The Ningen! It's so cold down in the antarctic! Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to snuggle up by a fire with? Or, better yet, a 100 foot-long unknown blubbery creature? Move over, Captain Ahab, this white whale is OUR boy now. Today's topics: Belugas; Cryptid romance novels; Grilled cheese and human sacrifices; Snorkeling; Kurt Russel; Thomas Jefferson's chest of bones; How big are whales?

This Week: Wood Devils! Oh, god. This one is. This one is horrifying. Have you been sleeping TOO many hours and had TOO many days not living in fear of some terrifying, lanky forest creature? Don't worry, this will fix all of that. For good. Today's topics: The worst of the cryprid knock-offs; The Uncanny Valley; Sometimes smiles aren't comforting; True Crime; Fake cryprid reports; OK, grandpa bigfoot; Drugs.

This week: The Lusca! It's a giant octopus, or maybe a shark, or maybe a giant eel, or maybe a jellyfish! Or maybe it's just a giant glob of whale fat! Who knows! Whatever it is, we investigate the tale of the Lusca in the Bahamas, so grab your snorkels and watch out, because this boy's coming in for a swim! Today's topics: Globsters; Box jellyfish; Snorkeling; Dunking on the History Channel; Pranking cryptid hunters; We love a good octopus; Science class; How fast can you swim?

This week: The Beast of Busco! What's better than a turtle? A really, REALLY big turtle! This week, we dive into the story of Oscar, the sweetest, biggest turtle you ever did see! Today's topics: What IS a Hoosier; Cas's snapping turtle story; Reptile voting rights; Turtle racing; What Would You Do: Horror Edition; Lake crimes (someone's committing them); Cloacas.

This week: The Squonk! Get ready, folks, because this one's a tear jerker. This week, we investigate a tiny, wart-covered little dude who's been living in the wilderness, hiding from Pennsylvanians...and his own self-image. Today's topics: Magical tears (not the fun kind); Please don't go hunting cryptids; Minnesotans; The field of chemistry; The most horrifying play Cas has ever heard of; Body positivity; Pop culture; A HORRIFYING toad.

This Week: The Owlman! We've got a hoo-hoorrifying new British cryptid for you this week! Want some more not-quite Mothman content, occult monster-summoning rituals, and zany tales centered around a creepy old church? This is the episode for you! Today's topics: Let's get Fortean; An artist, a writer, and a magician (they're all the same person); Legendary cryptozoologist beef; The Lost Tapes, revisited; Barely avoiding plagarism; Mothman's overseas ex.

This Week: The Bat Beast of Kent! It's our first international cryptid! This week, we travel across the pond to the UK to investigate a horrifying, headless creature that scared the pants off some partying teens. Today's Topics: Listen to our terrible British accents; Jude finally gets to talk about UFOs; Cas accidentally talks about Scientology; The cryptid stories you DON'T hear about; The big bat's toy empire; Monster High.

This week: Batsquatch! He's winged, he's wild...he's definitely not the cryptid Cas was hoping to cover. This week, we travel to the pacific Northwest to investigate a (non-bigfoot) sasquatch who's tearing up the town and making his mark on everyone he meets. Today's topics: The first (of many) cryptid beers; Rabies; Religion; Priscilla, the prized county fair pig; Legitimate bat safety tips; The most eligible cryptid bachelor since Mothman.

This week: The Hopkinsville Goblins! It's the little green men! This week, we investigate a rowdy group of tiny aliens who wrecked one Kentucky family's evening and ran off into the night with our hearts in tow. These short, top-heavy idiots are staples of the world of UFOs, aliens, and (if Eberhardt isn't around) cryptids. Today's topics: The worst game of cards ever; PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not shoot at creatures outside your home; Pokémon; The righteous punch; Let the puppets kiss; UFO festivals; Eberhardt isn't our dad.

This week: Pepie! This week, we investigate the Lake Pepin Monster that has a special place in the heart of Lake City, MN and whatever place Jude stores his deepest hatred. Meanwhile, Cas is just happy that out of the 11,842 lakes in their home state, they've finally found one with a "real" monster in it. Today's Topics: Minnesota's cryptid shortage; Invasive species; We hate problematic storytelling; The "duck, duck, grey duck" controversy; Swedish monsters; Minnie, the fake lake creature.