Podcasts about deep listening impact

Dr. Laura welcomes Oscar Trimboli, award-winning author, podcast host, and global expert on listening, to the show to talk about listening and how our inability to listen properly is hurting us at work and beyond. Oscar worked extensively in marketing and technology in his career and has a lot of experience in consulting with organizations, all of which give him great insight into the way people listen, or don't listen, to each other and how to change that.Oscar traces his work in listening back to a boardroom in 2008 where he was challenged by the CEO's statement to him: “If you could code how you listen, you could change the world”. He explains that the difference between hearing and listening is action. His new book, How to Listen, addresses research on the subject of listening as well as guidance into listening to what is said and not simply our interpretations of what we hear. Dr. Laura and Oscar discuss different ineffective listening styles that people often fall into and Oscar's tips on how to improve listening. Oscar's insight will resonate with everyone who hears this episode and challenge us to really listen, and not just hear, what he's saying. “So please just be conscious that you can improve your listening simply by asking people one extra question, or simply by knowing that the word listen and the word silent have exactly the same letters. So if you just wanted one tip from our conversation today, that would be it. … Therefore just be silent just a little bit longer and you'll be surprised. That breath they've taken doesn't mean they've finished what they're saying. They're just collecting their thoughts.” Oscar TrimboliAbout Oscar Trimboli:Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace.Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words. He believes that when leadership teams focus their attention and listening, they will build organizations that create powerful legacies for the people they serve – today and, more importantly, for future generations.Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations, including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens. He is the author of how to listen – discover the hidden key to better communication – the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening – Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront AssumptionsOscar loves his afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with his grandchildren.Resources:Website: OscarTrimboli.comOscar Trimboli Podcast: Deep Listening - Impact beyond words“how to listen: discover the hidden key to better communication” by oscar trimboliOscar Trimboli on LinkedIn“The Square and the Tower: Networks and Power, from the Freemasons to Facebook” by Niall FergusonLearn more about Dr. Laura on her website: https://drlaura.liveFor more resources, look into Dr. Laura's organizations: Canada Career CounsellingSynthesis Psychology

Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words. He believes that when leadership teams focus their attention and listening, they will build organizations that create powerful legacies for the people they serve – today and, more importantly, for future generations. Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations, including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens. He is the author of how to listen – discover the hidden key to better communication – the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening – Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions Oscar loves his afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with his grandchildren. ---------------------------------------- This show is sponsored by Leopard Solutions Legal Intelligence Suite of products, Firmscape, and Leopard BI. Push ahead of the pack with the power of Leopard. For a free demo, visit this link: https://www.leopardsolutions.com/index.php/request-a-demo/ Links: https://www.oscartrimboli.com/listeningquiz/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/oscartrimboli/?originalSubdomain=au Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oscar Trimboli is an award-winning author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker.Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace.Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words. He believes that when leadership teams focus their attention and listening, they will build organizations that create powerful legacies for the people they serve – today and more importantly, for future generations.Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens.He is the author of how to listen – discover the hidden key to better communication – the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening – Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions. Oscar loves his afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with one or all his four grandchildren. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words. He believes that when leadership teams focus their attention and listening, they will build organizations that create powerful legacies for the people they serve  today and more importantly, for future generations. Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens. He is the author of how to listen - discover the hidden key to better communication - the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening - Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions Oscar loves his afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with one or all his four grandchildren. Connect with Oscar Website - https://www.oscartrimboli.com/howtolisten/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/oscartrimboli/ Connect with David UPCOMING EVENT 5 Day Real Estate Listings Challenge - https://www.davidihill.com/challenge Free Webinar - https://event.webinarjam.com/register/4/klx1gs Real Estate University - www.realestateuniversity.club Real Estate University 7-Day Trial - https://try.realestateu.club Health Mastery - www.healthmastery.club Website- http://davidihill.com Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/davidihill/ YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/davidhillcoach LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidihill Book: https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Playbook-Simple-Strategies-Close/dp/1628652861 Free 30-minute Coaching Call: www.davidihill.com/strategycall David's Monthly Article – http://www.davidihill.com/5mistakes/ FREE GIFT - https://callreluctance.pathtomastery.net FACEBOOK COMMUNITY Please follow and join my Group- https://www.facebook.com/groups/ptmastery/ OUR LEAD PROVIDER SPONSORS VULCAN7 https://www.vulcan7.com/pathtomastery    

With Oscar Trimboli, an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words. He believes that when leadership teams focus their attention and listening, they will build organizations that create powerful legacies for the people they serve – today and more importantly, for future generations. Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens. He is the author of how to listen - discover the hidden key to better communication - the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening - Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions Oscar loves his afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with one or all his four grandchildren. Join us for this conversation where you will learn about the different qualities of listening, simple steps for doing better, key phrases you can use to demonstrate true listening, and what most people don't do when it comes to listening. To listen to our podcast and access the show notes, visit us at www.legalwebsitewarrior.com/podcast

Episode #291: Today's show is focused on improving your communication, teamwork, and performance skills with my guest Oscar Trimboli. In this episode, Trimboli shares his expertise on the power of deep listening and how it can transform your personal and professional relationships. As a leading expert in the field of communication, Trimboli breaks down the importance of listening beyond the words being spoken and instead focusing on the intention behind them. He provides valuable insights into how we can all become better listeners and how this skill can have a profound impact on our ability to work effectively in teams, lead others, and achieve our goals. Whether you're looking to improve your own communication skills or enhance the performance of your team, this episode of Let's Go Win Podcast is a must-listen. With actionable tips and strategies, Ryerson and Trimboli deliver a powerful message that will inspire you to become a better listener and unlock your full potential. Don't miss out on this game-changing conversation!Bio:Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words. He believes that when leadership teams focus their attention and listening, they will build organizations that create powerful legacies for the people they serve – today and more importantly, for future generations. Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens. He is the author of how to listen - discover the hidden key to better communication - the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening - Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions Oscar loves his afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with one or all his four grandchildren. Contact Oscar:Website: https://www.oscartrimboli.com/listeningquizLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/oscartrimboliTwitter: https://twitter.com/oscartrimboliYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_kkHeR0dGfAZGQ6AGHCvvg

In this episode of Deep Listening – Impact beyond words, we listen to Jenni Field, an international business communications strategist. Jenni helps organisations to get teams to work together better and review how operations can work more effectively. Jenni worked as a Communications Director for a global pharmaceutical business and Global Head of Communications for a FTSE 250 hospitality business. It is this experience that contributed to the development of The Field Model™ and her book, Influential Internal Communication Learn the difference between what an executive says and means when they say value. How do you think about the frequency of listening and communicating your actions will be as an organisation? If you would like a copy of Jenni's book Influential Internal Communication: Streamline Your Corporate Communication to Drive Efficiency and Engagement We are gifting 3 copies of the book, send an email to podcast at oscar trimboli dot com with the subject line The Field Model and what you took from this episode into your workplace. Listen for free

Oscar Trimboli explores the science behind listening–and how you can become great at it. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) The difference between a good listener and a great one 2) How to get into the great listening mindset 3) The one question that will cut your meetings in half Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep808 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT OSCAR — Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace.He is the author of How to Listen - Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication - the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening - Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions. We adapted our previous episode with Oscar into the LinkedIn Learning course called How to Resolve Conflict and Boost Productivity through Deep Listening.Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens.Oscar loves afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with one or all his four grandchildren.• Book: How to Listen: Discover the Hidden Key to Better Communication • Quiz: ListeningQuiz.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: The Square and the Tower: Networks and Power, from the Freemasons to Facebook by Neil Ferguson See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The ability to communicate eloquently and effectively is a skill. However, relatively few of us are aware of this or actively work to hone this skill.  One of the crucial elements of communication is ‘listening.' Unless we are good listeners there is no way we can be effective communicators. However, the human mind is fickle and fleeting. Every 7 to 10 seconds, our minds wander, our listening skills degrade, and communication breaks down. In this episode, Oscar Trimboli will tell us about the art of listening. So listen carefully! Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he is on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors, and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond words.  He believes that when leadership teams focus their attention and listening, they will build organizations that create powerful legacies for the people they serve – today and more importantly, for future generations.  Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran working for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, and Vodafone. He consults with organizations including American Express, AstraZeneca, Cisco, Google, HSBC, IAG, Montblanc, PwC, Salesforce, Sanofi, SAP, and Siemens.  He is the author of how to listen - discover the hidden key to better communication - the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, Deep Listening - Impact beyond words and Breakthroughs: How to Confront Assumptions  Oscar loves his afternoon walks with his wife, Jennie, and their dog Kilimanjaro. On the weekends, you will find him playing Lego with one or all his four grandchildren. 

Oscar Trimboli is a renowned expert on the art of listening, and creator of the Apple award-winning podcast 'Deep Listening - Impact beyond words.' Oscar has interviewed over 100 of the world's most diverse workplace listeners, including air traffic controllers, deaf and foreign language interpreters, hostage negotiators and spies. Over 14,000 people have contributed to Oscar's research about what gets in the way when it comes to listening. ⁠ In this episode, Oscar explains why listening is a skill that our children must learn. ⁠He also draws upon his extensive research and experience to help parents understand the importance of being role models for listening to their children. Finally, he also goes on to explain practical ways for parents to implement the science of listening. Recommended resources Listening quiz - https://www.oscartrimboli.com/listeningquiz/ Oscar's website - https://www.oscartrimboli.com/ Oscar's podcast: Deep Listening - Impact beyond words - Oscar Trimboli - https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/deep-listening-impact-beyond-words-oscar-trimboli/id1274379362

In this podcast, Oscar Trimboli talked us through how to listen and how to use listening skills in our work for better results. Communication isn't just about what you say, it is 50% speaking and 50% listening. Most programs about effective communication focus on speaking with influence and leading change by setting a compelling vision, yet over 93% of change initiatives fail. There is a missing ingredient – leaders who listen. Listening happens before, during and after the conversation. The difference between hearing and listening, is the action you take. Oscar Trimboli is an author, host of the Apple award-winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. He is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in homes, workplaces and cultures around the world 

Oscar Trimboli is the author of the new book, "Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words." This is one of my favorite topics because Listening is the way you give value to the words of other people. On today's episode Oscar and I dig into the difference between hearing and listening. Multiple academic studies have shown that between 50% and 55% of your working day is spent listening. And it's harder now than ever to make yourself heard among all the noise, especially with your buyers. So we dive into the 5 levels of listening required to ensure you truly understand what your buyer is saying. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oscar Trimboli is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in homes, workplaces and the world. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organizations, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organizations can have when they listen beyond the words and he helps us bring this skill into the exam room. He talks about giving attention instead of paying attention, how to frame questions so they won’t be perceived as judgmental, how to utilize silence, and when it is actually ok to interrupt our patients! Oscar is a marketing and technology industry veteran with over 30 years' experience across general management, sales, marketing and operations for Microsoft, PeopleSoft, Polycom, Professional Advantage and Vodafone. During his time as a marketing director at Microsoft, he was accountable for the five-year journey to move Microsoft Office from DVDs to the Data Centre. He consults to organizations including 20th Century Fox, AstraZeneca, Google, HSBC, PayPal, Qantas, Reebok, TripAdvisor and Universal Music. He can be found at oscartrimboli.com and there you can find his podcast, Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words. Find this and all episodes on your favorite #podcastplatform at PhysiciansGuidetoDoctoring.com Please be sure to leave a five-star review, a nice comment and SHARE!!! A proud member of the Doctor Podcast Network!

Oscar Trimboli is a coach supervisor, speaker and author of Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, The 125/400 Rule: The Art and Science of Listening and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organizations, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organizations can have when they listen beyond the words. He consults to organizations including Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what's unsaid by the customers and employees. Oscar lives in Sydney with his wife Jennie, where he helps first-time runners and ocean swimmers conquer their fears and contributes to the cure for cancer as part of Can Too, a cancer research charity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Listening With Oscar Trimboli Joshua: So, we've got Oscar Trimboli here today. Depending on your dialect and he's joined us both on the YouTube channel as well on the podcast. So if you are watching this on YouTube, welcome! Congratulations! If you're not and you're on the podcast, well jump across to the YouTube channel and vice versa. Now that the formality is out of the way, Oscar, tell us a bit about what you do. Learn more about the art of listening at dorksdelivered.com.au Oscar: G'day, Joshua. I'm actually looking forward to listening to some of your questions today. I'm on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the world. So I spend all my days teaching organisations, leaders, customer care teams, sales teams, people who are accountants and lawyers how to listen, and most people aren't conscious of the cost of not listening til they lose a great staff member or they lose a great customer because they haven't paid attention and they haven't listened, so the cost of not listening is project over-runs, projects over-budget or worst still projects that come in on time and on budget but they don't deliver to what people were actually asking for in the first place. So, Joshua, all my day's spent absolutely obsessed with the commercial cost of not listening. Joshua: That's cool. I know my dad always used to say, "We're born with two ears and one mouth and use them in that ratio", so listen twice as much as you're talking but I understand you've got a different ratio that you work with, is it the 125-400 rule? Oscar: Yeah, I think if we understand the neuroscience of listening that we speak at 125 words a minute, we can listen at 400 words a minute, so we're programmed to be distracted before we even begin. In fact, for some of you, it's happening right now. You've already got bored with me and you're thinking about something else. So you might be distracted by something during your commute, whether you're driving, or on a plane, or on a train or on a bus. For most of us, what we need to get better at with our listening is simply to notice when we're distracted. I'm not a perfect listener, far from it but what I do notice is I notice faster than anybody else when I'm distracted in the conversation. Most of us turn up to a conversation with our own radio station playing in our head. We're tuned into our own frequency, so we're not available to actually listen to the other person, so if you know that you can listen at up to 400 words a minute, try and notice sooner rather than later when you get distracted, jump back into the conversation, focus in what's being said. Joshua: Cool. I know that I guess you don't know what you don't know until you know what you know and that's a big part of what you're teaching. People are born thinking they can listen, but obviously that's not the case. As time's going on, we're getting more and more distractions throughout our world. I know in the digital world, you can comfortably have 300 to 500 distractions a day just through advertising, let alone hearing your wife yell out or your kids yell out saying, "Dad, come do this" or "Help me out with the dinner" or something like that. "Take the bin out" and you're meant to be doing something else and focusing. So, dive a bit deeper I guess into how you ... what's the process there that you go through? We're getting a bit of rain here so if you can hear that on your end, we might have to move location. But yeah, what's your process to keep in check and make sure that your finger is on the pulse and your focus is on the primary ... not on the rain, that was perfect timing by the way. The distraction of the rain. Very clever. Oscar: Well, Joshua, here's something we all need to know, listening's our birthright. At 30 weeks, we can distinguish our mother's voice from any other sound outside of our body. At 32 weeks, we can distinguish Beethoven from Bon Jovi from Beiber, so we can access music differently yet, the minute we're born, in fact, it's the moment we're born, the minute we scream is the definition of when the time goes on our birth certificate. So, we come into the world kicking and screaming and making noise and we spend the rest of our lives thinking that's the way we need to communicate. Now communication's 50% speaking, 50% listening. Most of us don't get it in that proportion. We kind of go one way or we go the other. So, I would say to everybody, "You are a deep listener. You just have to unlearn all the things you've learned since you were born about making sure all the attention is through your speaking". For a lot of us, we struggle with listening to ourselves. Most listening literature will teach you focus on the speaker. They're the most important person. That's handy information but if you're coming into a conversation and thinking, "Oh, I've just hung up the call and I'm thinking about the last call" or "I'm thinking about the next call" or "I'm moving from meeting to meeting" or "I'm jumping in the car, and going to make a call, then I'm going to make another call", we have got a whole dialogue going on in our head and we're not actually available to listen because we can't process their frequency because we're blocking them with our own internal radio station. So, 86% of people struggle with distractions when it comes to listening. Just getting focused on the speaker, that's not their issue. They have external distractions, whether that's rain in the background for you, or a thunder storm with someone I was interviewing once in Florida and there were lightening bolts you could see in the back window and they were an expert on presence and they did a beautiful job of ignoring the lightening bolts. They were so loud, you could hear them through the microphones. 86% of us struggle with a conversation already in our heads so we struggle with a combination of internal distractions and external distractions. Joshua, if there's three tips that really make a difference for everybody I work with are these three tips: switch your phone off, switch your laptop off or switch them into flight mode. Take off everything that buzzes, beeps and dings. If you can do that, you'll increase your listening productivity by 50% immediately, just doing that, but most of us are addicted to our devices. It reminds me of a story when Peter, a vice president from Microsoft back in 2014, I was hosting a meeting. He'd done a 24-hour flight from Seattle to Sydney and I was hosting him with 20 other CEOs in a hotel room in Sydney and he sat down and I'd just finished introducing him and he stood up and I thought, "Gee, the introduction wasn't that bad, Peter. C'mon". And he was running a big business, he had about 30,000 people in his organisation. He had $10 billion in revenue, so the guy's pretty busy, and what he did was he stood up, he apologised to the room and said, "I'm really sorry, the most important thing I can give you right now is my full, complete and undivided attention". And with that, he took his cell phone, his mobile phone out of his top pocket, switched it off, went over, put it in his bag and sat down. Now, Joshua, what do you think happened for the 20 execs around the room when he did that? Joshua: Very similar action. That would have been a repeated action with all of them doing the same thing to make sure they're giving the same level of respect that he'd just shown. Would that be fair to say? Oscar: 17 out of the 20 people did exactly the same. I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt to the other three and say they put it in flight mode or silent mode, or something like that but we're all listening teachers, whether that's teaching our kids how to listen or we're teachers in schools. Kids are watching us on how we listen. So how we turn up and how we role model is really important when it comes to listening. When I speak on stage, a lot of people come up to me and go, "Hey, I'm really good at listening but my boss is terrible. What tips should I give my boss?" And I always say, "Just be a good listener for them. Role model great listening". Or parents will come up to me and go, "My kids don't listen to me. How can I teach them how to listen better?" I said, "You already are teaching them. They're just copying you". Joshua: Yes. Oscar: "You're their listening teacher". So, if there's one tip for the parents out there, bend down to your kid's eye level or if you can't do that, lift your kids up to your eye level and that will completely transform the way your kids listen to you. If you travel and if you're calling your kids or your FaceTiming your kids, same story. Don't stand up and pace and walk around the room while you're talking to them. Get your eye down to your eye level. That might mean sit on the bed in a hotel room. It might mean sit on the floor in a hotel room, but the very act of doing that brings your eyes to their eye level and there's a lot more empathy for what they're saying and how they're saying it. But, if we're distracted, we can't do any of that. Now, back to the group, "Peter's permission group" as it became known, I asked the execs, after 45 minutes, Peter went to the next meeting. I had a half an hour debrief. And they all commented on the quality of the conversation. You see, normally those conversations are not only dominated by technology on the table but they're dominated by technology in the conversation. And the reality is, everybody commented on the quality of the conversation. Now, Peter's permission group, that group of CEOs still meets about every six months and that's, what are we up to? Five years down the track. Now they get together, they have a bit of a giggle, mostly it's between five and eight people. They've all moved on to different jobs and things like that but they all have a giggle because when they start their meeting, they all go, put their phones off and call and say, "Thanks, Peter" and have the conversation. Joshua: Conditioned response. Oscar: There's a bit of a ripple effect there, but for a lot of us, we might turn up to customer meetings with a phone, buzzing in our pocket even though it's in vibrate mode versus the minute that happens, you're going to get distracted. Joshua: Absolutely. Oscar: You're going to move your mind there. For me, it's really simple, the minute I walk into the lobby, I switch my phone off, put it in my bag as I step towards reception. I take three deep breaths and when they offer me tea or coffee, I always ask for water for me and the people I'm seeing. Water, hydrating the brain because listening is a difficult task at the best of times. A hydrated brain is a listening brain. The blood's 26% of the blood sugar in the body. "Well done, mate, drink your water". It's only 5% of the body mass but it consumes 5x more, 26% of the blood sugars in the body. So, if we can help it out. And then simply breathing. Three deep breaths for 10 seconds each, you're going to completely transform your orientation. So before we even begin listening to anybody else, Joshua, it's clearing the space in our own mind and being available to listen. That's critical whether we're parents, whether we're teachers, whether we're CEOs or business owners or whether we're in sales, all those things matter. Joshua: I can say that, hearing what you've said, we use a tool called RescueTime on our computers, which let's you put your computer in for a spot where there is no distractions, you can't go to certain sites, you can't do anything, you can't be like, "I'll just check on the notifications on Facebook", "I'll just do this" and it blocks out any of those distractions. It still allows you to use some cloud tools if you're not in a position to be able to be in full flight mode. And it's fantastic. It shows how utilised you were during the day, how distracted you were during the day and that's something that we use internally and we do talk to our customers about using. 'll say a story. I was in a job interview where we were interviewing someone in Melbourne and resume looked amazing. We thought, "This guy is the guy that we want" and he was in a setting no different to what I'm in at the moment, outdoors, on his deck, in a nice setting. I'm talking to him and I'm asking him the interview questions and I'm making sure I'm asking him fair questions, so we normally start with five or six boilerplate questions, so we can see how each them answer those and then we move onto more detailed questions that are more granular and personalised to that person. It was obviously a hotter day, so he had a couple of beads of sweat on his head and we're like, "That's fine. That's not a worry" but he had this one fly and it was buzzing around and kept buzzing around and kept buzzing around and I could not concentrate on anything he was saying because of that stupid fly. I'm looking going, "I've got to listen to what he's saying but can't he just get rid of the fly? He's just got to get rid of the fly?" And I knew he did not have a fair interview because I was so distracted by the fly on his head and it made me sort of really understand how can you ... I felt like saying, "I'm sorry, can you just remove the fly?" And I thought, "No, I don't want to say that, it sounds really rude". I know myself, if I'm talking to someone and I'm right engaged with it and then I get off the phone and then my partner comes into the room and she says, "Hey, can you help me out with blah blah blah?" And I'm like, "Hold on, I've just got to digest everything that was said before I can focus on what you're saying, purely out of the respect". I don't know if I's drawing three deep breaths for ten seconds but I definitely take a moment out, a moment to chill before I jump onto the next thing, so I know that a couple of things I'm doing but how can you make sure that people are bringing in the information that you're saying, they are listening, from both perspectives they are listening. What are tell-tale signs that someone is not listening and you should maybe cut the conversation short or expand upon that from the speaker's perspective as well as in from the listener's perspective, making sure you are listening and you're not just waiting to speak? Oscar: So there's a big difference between hearing and listening. Listening is the willingness to have your mind changed. The difference between hearing and listening is the action you take as a result of something you heard. I want to come back to the job interview. Oscar: I want to come back to the interview that you did and the fly during the interview. And I want to talk about the difference between rude and productive. Joshua: Yes, okay. Oscar: If you put yourself in that candidate's shoes right now, what would have been the most productive thing for you and for them, in that moment? Joshua: For me? To have taken a pro-active approach and said, "Would you be able to sit somewhere else or get rid of that fly, please?" Because the meeting was more productive and fairer on him. From his perspective, he would have been well aware the fly was there. I don't think I come across as a big scary person but he obviously didn't ... I don't know why he didn't remove it. But I probably should have brought it to his attention, I guess. Oscar: Listening is all about progressing the conversation, so in that case, it probably wasn't a great example of listening because you're completely distracted by the fly. For some of us, that fly is actually inside their own mind. You got an actual fly in your case but some of us hold assumptions really tight and it stops listening taking place so, in that moment, we could have simply said, "Wow, I sense it could be really frustrating for you right now with that fly. I reckon this interview will be more productive, if we make a decision about what we're going to do with that fly" and then kind of leave it to them. You're going to have a laugh about it. All of a sudden everything's a bit more relaxed, but I think, even though you continued that interview, you probably wasted all that time and his. Joshua: Absolutely. Oscar: As you said, he didn't get a fair go. So I want you just to think about, was it more rude to continue than it was to interrupt? Joshua: Yeah, that's very true. I would say it was probably more rude to continue and waste our time. We've only got that time once on this earth, so probably more rude to have continued. I was not sure ... I was thinking where are his management skills that if he can't manage a fly on his head? And there's a lot of things going through my head that had nothing to do with the interview and I was thinking, how can you ... he's got to be able to control this and it's true, I should have interrupted and said it, as you said, in a very passive way that allowed him to rectify the situation, at least bring light to it in a light-hearted way and- Oscar: Hey, if you're living in Australia and you're outside at this time of the year, there's a pretty good chance that there's going to be flies around you. Joshua: I rude. Oscar: Yeah, but rude could be slightly tempered down by us simply asking a question. "Hey, that fly seems to be frustrating for you. How do we want to handle it?" Which then could have prompted a question, "Have you ever had a customer like that? And how did you deal with them" kind of thing. You could make light of it. So, there's four villains of listening when we think about what are the villains of our listening behaviour. There are four villains. The easiest way to remember them is they're the "dils" of listening, the dramatic listener, the interrupting listener, the lost listener and the shrewd listener. Joshua: Okay. Oscar: So I want to spend a bit of time talking about these and then Joshua, tell me, which one of these you get really frustrated with. Which one of these listening villains frustrates you the most? Think of the worst listener you can think of right now, Joshua, and see which one of the four they might be. And for you, listening right now, the same thing. Think of the worst listener you can think of while Oscar goes through the dramatic, interrupting, lost and shrewd listener. The dramatic listener loves your story. They love it. They listen intently, they listen for emotion, they listen for detail. The reason they're listening is to simply saw, "Oh, wow, you think you've got a tough boss, let me tell you about my boss. My boss is the worst boss. Here's the reason why". "You think you've got a tough merger happening right now in your organisation, I had a really tough merger. Oh, it was so terrible". My favourite was Kathy who went to her boss and said, on a Monday morning, "Hey, can I have some time off, my grandmother's passed away. The funeral's on Wednesday". Twelve minutes later her boss finished and all her boss was saying, "Oh, I still haven't gotten over the fact that my grandmother passed away. It was an awful funeral. It tore me apart and I had this really important relationship with my granny, she was like my second mom". And then Kathy just said to her at the end of the 12 minutes, "So is it okay if I go to the funeral on Wednesday?" Joshua: I shouldn't be laughing. That's terrible. Oscar: Yeah, but a lot of us kind of know these dramatic listeners, they show up in social situations, they show up in the workplace. You see, listening is situational and it's relational. As you said earlier on, you listen differently to a doctor than you will to an accountant. You'll listen different to a police person, to a school principal, for example. And you'll listen differently to your children to your parents as an example. The next one is the interrupting listener. We love the interrupting listener. Joshua: Actually, I know someone like this. Sorry, sorry, I had to do it. Go ahead. Oscar: If only that was original, mate. Everybody does that when I talk about the interrupting listener. Joshua: I bet. Oscar: We love the interrupting listener because they're obvious, they're overt. The interrupting listener, the minute we draw breath to say our next sentence, they're in. They think it's their commercial break to give you the opinion you fully haven't articulated right now. And they're genuinely trying to help. They're speedy, they're pacy, they want to move things further forward faster, but what they miss out on is that they're not actually listening to the fullness of what everybody's saying. And here's the next bit of science I want people to get connected with. I speak at 125 words a minute, but I can think at 900 words a minute. So, there's a 1 in 9 chance that what I say the first time is what I mean. So I go to the doctor probably too much, Joshua, at my stage in my life my good friend, Dr. John, he sees me twice a year and it's all preventative, thank goodness. But if Dr. John said to me, "Good news, Oscar, we're going to do surgery and you have an 11% chance of surviving", I'm asking for a second opinion. Joshua: Absolutely. Oscar: At 11%, not good odds for me, but all of us, everyday take the first thing that people say as what they think, because we don't understand the 125/900 rule. There's 800 other words stuck in their head. And if we just paused, if you know someone who's an interrupting listener, you'd love them to pause and work with silence if they'd just waited and said something as simple as, "Tell me more" or "What else?" Couple of really simple three-word phrases, then what happens is these magic code words come out, Joshua. Particularly relevant if you're in a sales situation, people will say things like, "Mmm, well, actually now that I think about it a bit more, the most important thing we should discuss is ...", "Now that I've thought about it a little longer, um, the critical thing we need to focus on is this", "Now that I've thought about it a little longer, yeah, we need to actually speak about my boss". Whatever it is, saying, "What else?" or "Tell me more" just gets those other 800 words out and that's what the interrupting listeners miss out on. Now, you role modelled the lost listener beautifully when you were talking about your dad's example. The lost listener is kind of trying to figure out where do they fit in the conversation and they just drift along in the dialogue. They are distracted by internal distractions but the other thing a lost listener can be is distracted by external distractions, laptops, mobile phones, other things that buzz and beep. It could be visual distractions in a coffee shop, for example, or it could be something else that's distracting you externally. So that's the lost listener. Sometimes they turn up to a meeting because they're invited and they're working out in the first 10 minutes, if I just listen, I can figure out why I've been invited to this meeting as opposed to them simply saying, "Hey, before we go any further, how would you like me to contribute to this meeting?" And then all of a sudden the lost listener's found their position. The last one is the shrewd listener. The shrewd listener does a lot of this, they stroke their chin or they put their hand on their cheek. They listen intently. They tilt their head to the side, they give you lots of good, "mm-hmm"- Joshua: Indicators. Oscar: "Mm-hmm, tell me more". If you were reading the subtitles or the captioning for what's going on in their brain, now this shrewd listener is disproportionately represented in sellers, accountants, lawyers, doctors, anybody who takes a brief, market researchers, advertising agencies, anybody who's got to ask questions for a diagnosis. What's going through their head is, "Really, that's your problem. I can think about three other problems that are going to come up that you haven't thought about but I guess I'm going to stay here and listen to you drone on because I'm an expert in my field and I am so amazing I'm going to pretend that I'm listening". In fact, Joshua just did it right then. Joshua: I did, didn't I? I was going to say, you're familiar with the Dunning-Kruger effect? Oscar: Yes, I am but is everybody in the audience familiar with the Dunning-Kruger effect? Joshua: The Dunning-Kruger effect is when someone knows, and I'd love for you to correct me if I am saying it incorrectly, but when who knows a small amount about something, they become overconfident in the belief that they know everything about everything and so they start learning a little bit more and then they have this lack of confidence around how much they know and it takes a very long time to build up a level of competency and experience to a spot where you're able to talk about it and you feel comfortable talking about it. Would that be fair to say? Oscar: Yeah, that's a pretty good summary. Joshua: Cool. Oscar: And I think for the shrewd listener, what happens while they're pretending to listen and telling themselves how awesome they are and anticipating the next three problems, they're forgetting to listen to what actually is the first problem. They're kind of diagnosing a problem that the person mightn't have because they're trying to explain just a lower-order problem there. For a lot of us who are sellers of anything, we're all in the business of selling ideas, whether we get paid for it or not as an example. If we're not careful, we can lose the person we're engaging with because whether we think we're giving a beautiful engaged face and giving lots of good "ah-hums" and "ah-has", humans instinctively know with no training whatsoever whether you're really listening or not. And one of the things that is riveting for me is the statistic that says 86% of us think we're above-average car drivers. Joshua: Right. Oscar: 81% of us think we're above-average IQ. Joshua: Okay. Oscar: And 83% of us think we're above-average listeners. Statistically impossible. Only 50% of people can be above the average and the reality is most of us don't know what good listening is because we've never been taught. Only 2% of the population has been taught how to listen effectively. So, I'm curious, Joshua, which one of those listening villains frustrated you the most? Was it the dramatic listener, the interrupting listener, the lost listener or the shrewd listener? Joshua: Pretty hard to one because I think it's situational. If I'm doing a presentation on stage and I see the, "mm-hmm, mm-hmm" okay, "mm-hmm" it's hard to know if they are actually listening, if they're judging you, if they feel they know more about it, or if they're incredibly engaged, so that frustrates me because I'm thinking, "Am I saying things?" Because when you're up on stage, or you're doing a presentation to 10 or 50 business owners or whatever it is, you can pivot the situation to be more relevant to everyone, if they're able to give you feedback on what you're saying. And when they're sitting there doing that, I find that that frustrates me in that situation. Oscar: And you pointed out that listening is situational and it's relational. People listen differently in different ways, so at home, I'm the lost listener, and at work, I'm the shrewd listener. I'm forever going, "Wow, you really are struggling with listening, aren't you? You're really struggling with distraction". You know, in my head, I've got these sophisticated five levels of listening, listening to yourself, listening to the content, listening to the context, listening for what's unsaid, you know. That's how Yoda would talk about listening. And then finally listening for meaning but I'm not listening to their problem because I'm a shrewd listener. When it comes to home, I hear all the stories that your dad tells. That happens in my family, with my in-laws, with my out-laws, with the extended family, I can tell you a lot about 13A Orchard Road in Johannesburg where my in-laws grew up, I could paint a picture, I've heard so much intricate detail about that place and sometimes I just get lost. I'm far from a perfect listener. All I know is when I'm distracted, I'm able to get in a conversation faster. The other thing I always say that people are quite surprised, "Hey, Joshua, forgive me. I got distracted, do you mind saying that again?" And if I say it genuinely, rather than three times in a row, what they normally do is they nod and smile and as one human to another, they know that they've done it themselves, and they go, "Yeah, sure, let me explain that" and they probably explain it in a slightly different way. They've thought about how to explain it a little bit more. One of the responsibilities for the speaker when it comes to listening is to be interesting. Joshua: Yes. Oscar: So tell stories and use statistics. Don't do only stories and only statistics because 50% of people have preference for the big picture and pictures and 50% of people have a preference for details and statistics. So, if you can mix that up, you're going to be an engaging speaker along the way. You'll in fact remember nothing of what I've said today, only the story of Peter and Peter's permission club. Joshua: Well, I know myself, I have an engineering background so I love numbers and statistics, but everyone else doesn't. Oscar: Exactly. Joshua: You need to be aware of that and make sure you are gearing to the ears that are to be listening and making sure that that is information they're ready to receive and potentially the words that they're feeling within, you said, the 900 words that they're feeling are words that are relevant or words that are possibly going to be having them ask a question about instead of having just sit there- Oscar: And drift away. Joshua: I know myself at school, one of the worst things that I ever did was listen intently and having no clue about what they were talking about. I was sitting there in class and I was sick for around a couple of weeks, had a couple of weeks off and so I jumped in and, I'll make up this part of the story because I can't remember exactly what the subject was. Let's say we were talking about matrices or quadratic equations in mathematics, and I jumped in and I went, I don't want to look stupid. I put my hand up because everyone else is listening intently and I don't want to put my hand up and look like an idiot, so I'm just going to sit here, in my silence, trying to listen as much as possible but not really understanding what they're saying at all, and that is something where I should have put my hand up and said, "Hey, while I am listening or trying my best, I'm hearing what you're saying, I'm not really understanding it, it's not sinking in, it's not relevant to me and therefore it is coming in and disappearing. And that is something that, especially, like you're saying in meetings and things like that, if people are in there and they're asking questions, ask questions at the end or ask questions when you don't understand something to make the person ask, "Can you remove the fly, please?" Oscar: Yeah, please. Joshua: So that it is relevant. The reptilian brain, you'd be familiar with the reptilian brain? Oscar: Mm-hmm. Joshua: I described the Dunning-Kruger effect. I'd love you to describe the reptilian brain. I'm going to go into a couple of details about that. Oscar: Yeah, well the reptilian brain is the most primitive part of our brain. It's the bit that connects from the back of the neck into the skull, right into the most elemental parts of what it means to be human, and in this part of the brain, is the part of the brain that deals with fear, it deals with emotion, it deals with our survival instincts, it talks about fight and flight. Unfortunately, it overrides anything that happens in the more modern part of the brain which is literally towards the front of the skull, the pre-frontal cortex where the majority of the listening function actually takes place, so you will completely be overridden if you're in a state of fear or you don't want to be participating in this conversation. Fear will override your ability to listen and literally short circuit your listening capability. You will check out of the conversation, if you're not feeling like this conversation is a conversation that's productive for you. Joshua: You've touched on exactly where I was going with it. With making sure your conversation is relevant and see it doesn't have to be necessarily as you said, "I'm scared of someone", it could be scared of not knowing. So, for myself, you can't see how much I'm talking with my hands underneath here but there's a lot, there's a lot of talking going down here. As I was saying, a bit of the Italian coming out in me. The fear of not knowing, or myself in a technical position, if I said, "Oh, look, you need to upgrade the fibre connection because it's not going to allow for the data to be pushed offsite with the speed of the rate that you've got because the input/outputs per second are not going to cope with the calls you have coming in from your SQL database to be able to have the data backed up incrementally, it should be sent off to be sent offsite" and someone goes, "Hold on" instead of just saying, "To have business integrity, you really need to have a faster internet connection" which can mean exactly the same thing in shorter words. You can have a discomfort and that can create fear. Would you agree with that, with the way that people are listening and the way that the words are spoken? Oscar: Yeah, a lot of that comes up actually when people ask "why" questions too early in a relationship or too early in a project or too early in a conversation, whether I've spoken to telephone-based suicide counsellors or FBI hostage negotiators, the quickest way to get a reaction from people that's fear-based is to ask questions about why. Now there may be a perfectly neutral question to use so, "Why are we here today?" But you've got to remember the first time you ever heard somebody say, "Why did you do that?" was probably between three and five, you spilled some milk, you smashed a glass and your brain codes, when somebody says "why", I've done something bad, it's an issue. Now you can ask those questions without the pretext of a why question but assume many people early on in a conversation, in a relationship, in a discussion, in a sales opportunity, in a project ask why-based questions, why-based questions will tap really fast into the amygdala, that's the part of the brain that's connected at the back there to the most primitive part of the brain, and you're not going to get a productive conversation, as opposed to, I can get exactly the same answer if I was to say to somebody, "So, how long have you been thinking about this problem, project, system," whatever the case may be. And all of a sudden you can ask exactly the same question in a how-based orientation and they're going to start to speak from the front of their brain in a relaxed state and they're literally going to describe a story, "Well, we've been thinking about this for three days, three weeks, three months, three years" who knows? And then ask them to fill in the details then that will become a productive conversation. And the reason it becomes productive is you know the back story. Coming back to Joshua's story at school, the reason he couldn't join the dots, he didn't have the back story of that one little bitty information he missed out on because he wasn't there four weeks before because he was ill. For a lot of us, we make so many assumptions because we don't know the back story and again something I'm quite famous for in a conversation is, "Look, I'm really sorry, I feel like I've joined the conversation half way through the movie. Can we just go back to the beginning because I'm missing out on how some of these characters are connected". They all smile and they're all happy to tell me the story and yet in telling the story, they start to discover different things they hadn't thought about because they go back and then they go, "Oh wow, actually ... " And a lot of the times they'll tell you why the project started and maybe why it was a result of a failed project. And all of a sudden, we have a much more interesting and productive conversation. I was talking to a person who ran an advertising agency only four weeks ago, and we were having this conversation, and he did this, he smacked himself in the forehead and he said, "This just happened to me, Oscar. We have re-briefed, briefed again, we've seen the client three times since we signed on the dotted line and what we thought was the project, in fact has changed three times in only two weeks. If we would have asked for the back story, we wouldn't have wasted all this money that I can't charge the client for because I didn't ask these questions at the beginning". He said, "I'll breakeven on the job. It's hardly worth my while but if I just took a little bit more time to ask that question at the beginning, it would have been a different outcome for me" and I said, "You know what? It would have been a much more different outcome for your client as well because, they're getting a bit frustrated with briefing you three times as well because they thought you weren't listening. Now I know you were but you just sometimes got to ask for the back story even if you feel like it might take a bit of skin off your finger in that moment or take a bit of your reputation away because you feel like it's a question you feel you should know the answer to. Sometimes the experts in the industry ask the simplest questions. So, sometimes the simplest question is, "Hey, when did this project start?" Joshua: I think we've all been in a situation like that. I myself listened to someone and they said, "We need to have our server migrated. We need to this, we need to do this" and I went through and "Okay, okay, okay, cool, yeah, we can do that". I didn't ask why they wanted to migrate it, what was the end result, what was their ability, this was years ago. But what was their end result. What was their want to get out of this project? The server migration, we charged them 30 hours. It took 120 hours to migrate everything. And we said, "Well, we're not going to charge them that. We said the price, that's the price. So, we're sticking to the price even though it was costing us money to do it, we thought, it's principles, we're going to give it to them what they said". At the end of the conversation, we sat down and went through everything. They said, "Oh, you migrated that. We don't even hardly use it" and I was like 80 hours of the time. And we went, "All right, okay, ask more questions. Understand what is important to them and make sure that you are using that information so that there is, well, as you said, "more profit in business, more relationships built". They were happy, everything was migrated but we would have been happier if we didn't run into the red so much. I know that you've got a new book coming out, is that right? Oscar: Oh, we're up to book number three now, so Book #1 is called Breakthroughs: How to Confront your Assumptions. Book #2 is Deep Listening: Impact beyond Words. Book #3, The 125/400 Rule. My wife says it'll be engraved on my tombstone, I say it so often. There's a whole group of resources for those of you listening, if you want to make progress as a listener, if you want to get the deep-listening playing cards to have some fun with you or your team, if you want to use the deep-listening jigsaw puzzle, if you want to access interviews with FBI hostage negotiators or the world champion sniper from 2012 and they teach you about how to focus when you can't be distracted. In your mind right now, Joshua, please tell me your description of the world champion sniper. What do they look like? Joshua: What do they look like? I would imagine not what they look like in a movie. I'd say that's over-dramatised. Probably quite an analytical type person I'd imagine would look. The word frail wouldn't be right but if we had a look and we generalised two different types of IT people. There's the energy drink IT person that lives in their mother's basement, sits quite large. Then there's the vegetarian IT person that has no muscle mass whatsoever. I would have said probably the no muscle mass type person that's sitting there. Oscar: How tall? Joshua: How tall? Above average, I'd say. Oscar: Above average height? Man or a woman? Joshua: Okay, again, all my information coming from movies so probably a man, I guess. Oscar: And which country would you get them from? Joshua: Most politically correct answer would be America. Oscar: Well, here's the reality. Christina is from Sweden. She was the 2012 world sniper champion, and for a lot of us, we've just learned a huge lesson in assumptions. Joshua: Absolutely. I thought their army was just ... I thought they couldn't have because they have these tiny knives, the Swiss Army knives. They can't. That's fantastic, okay. Oscar: So, we interview a whole range of people like high court judges, air traffic controllers, palliative care nurses who are listening at the end of people's lives on how to interact between doctors and the family and a person who's passing away. So there's a whole range of listening experts that can give you one to three hacks on how to listen during the episodes. Check that out. So if you visit listeningmyths.com, you can get access to all that information. If you want to take the 90-day deep listening challenge, you can visit listeningmyths.com and do that too. We're just about to launch the assessment that can answer 20 questions and find out which one of the four listening villains you are. Joshua: I'm going to be taking that test because as you were going through the different villains I was trying to think who am I? We will put a link down to your podcast as well as to some of those awesome resources people would have a look at. Oscar: Look, you've given me the greatest gift of all today, you've given me the gift of listening to me and help me on the quest to create a little bit more on this journey towards 100 million deep listener in the world. So, thank you. Joshua: Well, thank you Oscar for being here and allowing us to do this. I've learned lots. I hope our listeners have learned lots and I'm looking forward to reading your next book when it comes out. Oscar: Yeah, pop into listeningmyths.com, Joshua, and you'll be added on the journey there as well. Joshua: Awesome. We'll put the link to that below. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about that I could listen in on along with our listeners before we jump? Oscar: Look, if there's one book I could recommend for everybody on the journey to improving as a listener would be Atomic Habits by James Clear. It's a book about habit formation. It's one of the best written business books I've read in the last 35 years. It's very clear, it's very explicit and he breaks down habits into their most atomic elements, their smallest elements to make you successful. So, if you get a chance, James Clear, Atomic Habits, it's a book I spent a lot of time with because one of the big struggles for people is listening is a skill, it's a strategy, but ultimately it's a practise. You're never going to get perfect at it but you want to make a little bit of improvement along the way. So my recommendation to you and all your fans that are listening to you is Atomic Habits by James Clear. Joshua: All right. Okay, cool. Well, it's been lovely having you here, Oscar and I'm looking forward to reading the next book, jumping into James's book Atomic Habits and speaking with you again soon in the future. Oscar: Well, thanks for listening. Joshua: Thank you and stay good.

Overview of Episode #65 --- Why deep listening is so tricky for us. How to double your listening productivity and get back 4 hours a week with 3 simple phrases. How 4 unconscious Listening Villains get in your way. How to bring your best listening self to every interaction with these 3 actions. Contact Priceless Professional Development: 770-578-6976, suzie@pricelessprofessional.com or www.pricelessprofessional.com To see the show notes and get the transcript for this episode, go to: www.pricelessprofessional.com/deeplistening Timing on Recording: @ 7:54 --- Topic 1: Why is Listening So Important? You recognize that your greatest strength could be your greatest weakness/blind spot. Deep listening is the ability to listen beyond the words, to listen beyond what's spoken, to be able to add context and meaning, to listen to what's not being said. When you are hearing in a determined and energetic way, you demonstrate your desire to understand, you ask questions, you don't have an agenda, you are just there to listen. There are 2 views: There is the worldview, how clearly we think and feel and work in the world. And then there is the self-view, how clearly we think and feel about ourselves. 55% of our time is spent listening, but it's a skill that only 2% of us really grasp. Listening is our birthright. We forget that listening was one of the first skills we learned. We are encoded to be deep listeners. The first skill you will ever learn inside your mother's womb is the skill of listening, we spend the rest of our lives trying to scream to get noticed and all we want to do is be heard. Timing on Recording: @ 21:16  --- Topic 2: Why is Deep Listening So Tricky For Us? We don't have classes in listening. The more Senior you are, the more you need to be a great listener. If you talk to any successful Senior Executive, if they are asked to give a class on leadership, the first thing they are going to say is that you have got to learn to listen. The ratio from public speaker to listener courses it 50:1. We do not spend a lot of time highlighting listening. On average in our career, we will go to 5-7 classes for being a speaker, and none for listening. We speak at approximately 125 words per minute. We listen at 400 words per minute and we think at 900 words per minute. When somebody is talking, we could listen to a whole lot more words if they would go faster, except they are typically speaking at 125 words per minute. So there is a lot of room to get distracted. Also, if we think at 900 words per minute, but we can only get out 125 words per minute, the chances are good that when we are expressing something that the first thing we say or share may not be what we mean. We have a low, 11% chance of saying what we mean and that this is the biggest barrier to communication. 125/900 rule: You start to understand what the biggest barrier is to listening, which is making sure that the person said what they meant. Timing on Recording: @ 26:23  --- Topic 3: How To You Double Your Listening Productivity and Get Back 4 Hours a Week With 3 Simple Phrases. “Tell me more.” “What else?” Silence. Timing on Recording: @ 37:47  --- Topic 4: What are the 4 Villains of Listening? The Dramatic Listener - The dramatic listener loves your story cause it's a stage that they have to tell their stories on. The Interrupting Listener - The moment you draw a breath, it's their commercial break to give you their opinion. The Lost Listener - Distracted before they come to the conversation and still, some of them, are distracted while you are in the conversation. The Shrewd Listener - “Is this really what your problem is? That is such a basic problem.” Timing on Recording: @ 42:36  --- Topic 5: How to Bring Your Best Listening Self to Every Interaction. Remove distractions. A hydrated brain is a listening brain. Take 3 deep breathes. Timing on Recording: @ 47:38 --- Topic 6: What are 6 Benefits to Deep Listening? Puts us in a better position to help. Enables learning and discovery. Allows us to see the full picture from the other person's perspective, The speaker feels valued and understood. You have a more stable ad fulfilling relationship. You gain a true understanding and the ability to uncover unseen issues.

Oscar Trimboli is a coach supervisor, speaker and author of Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, The 125/400 Rule: The Art and Science of Listening and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organizations, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organizations can have when they listen beyond the words. He consults to organizations including Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what's unsaid by the customers and employees. Oscar lives in Sydney with his wife Jennie, where he helps first-time runners and ocean swimmers conquer their fears and contributes to the cure for cancer as part of Can Too, a cancer research charity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All I can say is wow - Totally impromptu, Oscar gives me a live coaching session, the first that this has happened on this podcast! We touched upon a wide range of topics including Oscar's 5 levels of listening, story-telling, vulnerability, courage, energy, sales & so much more. Oscar can be contacted via the following means: Web - https://www.oscartrimboli.com/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/oscartrimboli LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/oscartrimboli/ Oscar Trimboli is a coach supervisor, speaker and author of Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, The 125/400 Rule: The Art and Science of Listening and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organisations, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organisations can have when they listen beyond the words. He consults to organisations including Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what’s unsaid by the customers and employees. Oscar lives in Sydney with his wife Jennie, where he helps first-time runners and ocean swimmers conquer their fears and contributes to the cure for cancer as part of Can Too, a cancer research charity. Please find my Interpersonal Catalyst brochure here in case I can support you at all -> https://my.visme.co/projects/rxyz4jpo-garry-turner-interpersonal-catalyst --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/valuevulnerability/message

"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." --Doug Larson I'll admit it.  I'm a horrible listener.  Let me clarify that....I'm horrible listener and, because I know that, I am constantly working on improving my listening skills.  Most of the time I've got so much going on in my head that I am only partly in the conversation. That's why I loved talking with this week's guest, Oscar Trimboli.  He's the author of the book, Deep Listening, and we talk about how to be fully present in the conversations you're having so you can really hear what's being said.  His book (and Oscar) have a really mellow vibe to them and I know you'll want to listen to it more than once (and buy the book). Speaking of which...you can get the book HERE! Cheers! More on Oscar... Oscar Trimboli is a coach supervisor, speaker and author of Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, The 125/400 Rule: The Art and Science of Listening and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organisations, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organisations can have when they listen beyond the words. He consults to organisations including Cisco,  Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what’s unsaid by the customers and employees.  Oscar lives in Sydney with his wife Jennie, where he helps first-time runners and ocean swimmers conquer their fears and contributes to the cure for cancer as part of Can Too, a cancer research charity. Ways to connect with Oscar: www.oscartrimboli.com https://au.linkedin.com/in/oscartrimboli Get the book Deep Listening – Impact beyond words  Listen to the podcast Deep Listening – Impact beyond words Book Oscar to speak on Deep Listening for your organisation Don’t take my word for it – you can explore what my clients say +61410340185

Oscar Trimboli says the difference between a world-class seller and a recreational seller comes down to listening. Oscar is obsessed with the commercial cost of listening. Through his work with Chairs, Boards of Directors and Executive teams, Oscar has experienced the transformational impact leaders and organizations can have when they listen beyond the words. In this episode, we discuss how to use deep listening in the workplace to get to the truth faster, and how with your clients and prospects, what you may be hearing isn't what you should be listening for. You're going to learn a ton it is a fascinating episode with Oscar Trimboli. Listen and Discover > How to get to the truth faster with your clients and for that matter anyone. > Why you should avoid why-based questions in the discovery phase with a client. > How to help people solve complex problems in business. > Methods to listen for what's not said as much as what is said. > The risk of using sales scripts in real business. > And much more... Discover more about the Same Side Selling podcast at https://www.ianaltman.com/same-side-selling-podcast/

In this episode: Oscar Trimboli, Author of Deep Listening & Breakthroughs, Professional Speaker, Mentor and Director Microsoft Office Division Australia shares impactful insights on the power of deep listening. Listen even when you disagree. Their pause is the most critical moment your listening. The speaker is NOT the most important person in the conversation. 4 Habits that derail you from being a great listener 1. Lost Listener 2. Shrewd Listener 3. Interrupting Listener 4. Dramatic Listener Understanding Power and the 125-400 listening rule This is the first ingredient in the recipe of deep listening. The reason why it’s critical to pay attention and listen completely including the pauses, the silence and thoughtful moments in a discussion is because of the simple maths between speaking and hearing. Although you can think at 400 words per minute, you can only speak at between 125-175 words per minute. (Carver, Johnson, & Friedman, 1970). Words don’t matter when  you deeply listen RESOURCES: Oscar Trimboli is a coach supervisor, speaker and author of Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, The 125/400 Rule: The Art and Science of Listening and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions. He works with companies including Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, and TripAdvisor. Oscar lives in Sydney with his wife Jennie, where he helps first-time runners and ocean swimmers conquer their fears and contributes to the cure for cancer as part of Can Too, a cancer research charity. Get his book! Check out Oscar's Facebook Group Twitter: @oscartrimboli Instagram: @oscartrimboli LinkedIn: @oscartrimboli

Developing Deep Listening skills (starting at 21:57) to help you become a better leader and grow your small business, with Oscar Trimboli. Oscar is an executive coach, speaker and author of "Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions." From his corporate career to launching his own firm, Oscar shares his journey and we discuss his thoughtful insights on leadership and listening skills (21:57). He believes the listening is a leadership issue, and he shares specific tips for improving how we listen to others. Henry Lopez is a serial entrepreneur, small business coach, and the host of this episode of The How of Business show – dedicated to helping you start, run and grow your small business. (TheHowOfBusiness.com)

Do you hear me? Do you hear anyone? In this show I give focus to a skill that can increase your social stature, influence and overall opportunity...exponentially. A skill that, according to our guest, only 2% of the world is ever, ever taught. A skill few of us ever even think about...though we direly desire this skill in others and adore those who happen to have it. What is the skill? Listening. Why do you care? Wouldn’t you...like to be adored by others? Have influence with them? Have better relationships, with everyone? Your spouse or significant other, your children, you co-workers or employees or business partners and associates...your friends...again, everyone? Please don’t miss this show and this message. It’s not sexy. But neither is saving money. Being debt free forever...everyone wants it. Listening is doing the work, for massive social capital. It’s so easy to stand out and be a hero, because as you’ll hear in this show, few people effectively listen. As you’ll hear, me included. My guest is Oscar Trimboli. He’s an expert in this field and wrote a small, coffee table book titled “Deep Listening” - Impact beyond words. After a short review...I knew I needed to bring him and his message, to you...the Ziglar audience. Oscar is a consultant to organizations such as Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, and TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what’s unsaid by the customers and employees. As you will hear in the show, while Oscar began this research on listening in the business world, he is not focused on each of us individually and has the goal of bringing deep listening to 100 million people. Be sure to check Oscar out: https://www.facebook.com/oscartr https://twitter.com/oscartrimboli https://www.instagram.com/oscartrimboli Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode of Making It Count, Oscar Trimboli joins me. Oscar is a coach supervisor, speaker and author of Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, The 125/400 Rule: The Art and Science of Listening and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions. Through his work with chairs, boards of directors and executive teams in local, regional and global organisations, Oscar has experienced first hand the transformational impact leaders and organisations can have when they listen beyond the words.He consults to organisations including Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what’s unsaid by the customers and employees.Oscar lives in Sydney with his wife Jennie, where he helps first-time runners and ocean swimmers conquer their fears and contributes to the cure for cancer as part of Can Too, a cancer research charity.This is an interesting chat. Oscars key message is people that want to be heard but what they really crave is to be listened to and we explore what this means and some tips on how to do that.In this episode we cover:· What deep listening is· The unfair advantage you can gain· Tip for deeps listening· Many other little gold nuggets throughout this insightful chatLinks Oscar TrimboliLinked In

Oscar Trimboli is the author of Deep Listening: Impact beyond words, The 125/400 Rule: The Art and Science of Listening and Breakthroughs: How to confront your assumptions. Working with boards and executive teams, Oscar has experienced first-hand the transformational impact leaders can have when they listen beyond the words. Oscar Trimboli Vroom Vroom Veer Stories What is the 125/400 Rule?  How can we use this rule to listen better? Talk about how there is an Art and Science to listening What is Deep Listening?  Can we learn some techniques? What is the difference between a good listener and a great listener? How can you listen to what is unsaid?  How do we get all of the words out? What do you mean when you say "Everyone sees in color, but then listen in Black and White"? What was it like growing in Sydney Australia with Immigrant parents from Italy? Oscar Trimboli Connections Website Oscar's Book  Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words

Oscar Trimboli is on a quest to create 100 million Deep Listeners in the world by 2030. As a former marketing director at Vodafone and Microsoft, Oscar has always been passionate about the importance of listening to his customers. Oscar and his teams were renowned for time listening to customers in the call center as well as the market research summaries. Oscar brought this passion to next generation leaders at Microsoft, rebuilding their graduate leadership program which was implemented in 26 countries. He is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in workplaces and the world. Despite the fact that 55% of our time is spent listening, it is a skill that only 2% of people really grasp despite the astonishing costs of failing to do so, ranging from miscommunication to job turnover to lost sales. Indeed, if public speaking was the skill of the 20th century, Oscar believes that in the 21st century it's time to learn how to listen. In today's conversation, Oscar unpacks the 5 levels of listening, the difference between a good listener and a great listener, and the 3 simple steps you can take to improve your listening ability. He also shares the 125/400 rule, the value of silence and how it is used in high-context cultures like Japan, Korea, and China, and an important caution about ‘active' listening. How did Lego turn their business around through deep listening and how can you apply this to your business? Listen in to find out now. Key Takeaways Deep listening is the ability to listen beyond the words, to listen to context, to what is unsaid, and ultimately to listen to meaning. We speak at 125 words a minute, but we listen at 400 words a minute. A great listener knows they are going to be distracted and has some tactics and hacks and tips to get around it. Good listeners listen to the speaker; great listeners listen to the dialogue. The deeper you breathe, the deeper you listen. A hydrated brain is a brain capable of listening. Switch off your cell phone. Studies indicate that most doctors interrupt the patient within 18 seconds of the consultation. Those that don't interrupt until the 90 second mark have disproportionately less legal claims against them and less medical malpractice suits. Patients also heal themselves faster. Sales people who listen well outperform others by 2.5 times. People ask you to listen to them but what they really crave is to be heard. Resources Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words Deep Listening Podcast Connect With Oscar Trimboli oscartrimboli.com @oscartrimboli

Welcome to Deep Listening, impact beyond words. Do you know that we spend 55% of our days listening? Yet, only 2% of us are trained on how to listen. Listening is the competitive advantage of the 21st century. Whether you are a business owner, executive, employee, or parent, this podcast will transform your impact through listening.    I’m your host Oscar Trimboli. Workplace research shows that the difference between good managers and great leaders is their ability to listen and actually hear their employees and customers. These organizations that have great leaders outperform the others by a factor of four. I have witnessed first hand the cost created by a lack of listening. With this podcast, I am going to help you create impact with your listening as we explore the five levels of listening. The Five Levels of Listening Listening to yourself Listening to the content Listening for the context Listening for what is unsaid Listening for meaning Quotes: “Listening and not speaking is the competitive advantage for the 21st century” Oscar Trimboli “I will provide you with tools, tips and techniques to move from an unconscious listener to one that creates a big impact.” Oscar Trimboli Want to create a big impact? Subscribe to the Deep Listening podcast and never miss an episode.