I support Australian women who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.This is a raw and unfiltered space where we can explore the often unseen issues of family violence, post-separation abuse and protective parenting.For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningWant to work with me? Visit https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au to learn more.
Do Final Orders mean you're finally safe? Does completing a behaviour change program guarantee transformation? This episode exposes the dangerous myths that leave children unprotected.If you've been told "he's done the program, so things are safe now" or "you have Final Orders, so everything should be fine" – this episode is essential listening.Danielle Black breaks down the research on why:• Behaviour change programs show mixed evidence for sustained change in coercive control patterns• Online parenting courses cannot measure relational accountability• Final Orders prioritise system closure over ongoing child safety• Calendar-based contact progression ignores children's actual developmental needs• The family law system systematically mislabels coercive control as "high conflict"TOPICS COVERED:✓ Why completion certificates don't equal transformation✓ The online course problem and lack of accountability✓ How the Australian family law system prioritises "finality" over safety✓ What Final Orders DON'T solve (spoiler: most of the ongoing control)✓ Life after Final Orders - the reality no one prepares you for✓ Why capacity building and radical acceptance are lifelong tools, not just for during litigation✓ The hard truth: no one is coming to save you (and why that's actually empowering)RESEARCH REFERENCED: Dr Julie Blake (University of Queensland - physiological impacts on children), ANROWS (Australian research on post-separation abuse), Australian Law Reform Commission Family Law Review, Professor Jennifer McIntosh (child development and trauma recovery), AIFS (Australian Institute of Family Studies)PERFECT FOR:Protective parents navigating Australian family law, parents with Final Orders still experiencing control, anyone told to "just co-parent," parents being pressured to accept behaviour change certificates as proof of safety, professionals working with separated families.BLACK FRIDAY: Until midnight December 12 - $300 off The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ + complimentary AI Danielle access. Making evidence-based protective parenting knowledge accessible to more Australian families. Visit danielleblackcoaching.com.auAbout Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
If you've ever found yourself deep in Google searches trying to work out whether your ex is a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, or something in between… this episode is for you.Because here's the truth:Understanding “narcissism” won't help you protect your children.Understanding coercive control will.In this episode, Danielle Black explains why protective parents get stuck in the narcissism rabbit hole - and how it can keep them overwhelmed, confused, and focused on the wrong problem.You'll learn:Why terms like “narcissist,” “covert,” “grey rock,” and “yellow rock” can keep you stuck, and reactive, instead of strategicWhy the family law system doesn't care about personality labels - and what it does care aboutThe key differences between narcissistic traits and pattern-based coercive controlWhy identifying patterns of behaviour matters far more than diagnosing the personWhat you should be tracking insteadHow to shift from chaos → clarity, and from labels → evidenceIf you're exhausted from trying to decode their personality, stop.The problem isn't who they are - it's what they do, the pattern, and the harm it causes your children.This episode gives you the lens professionals actually respond to - and the one that puts you back in your power.If you're feeling overwhelmed right now - good. It means your instincts are working.But instinct isn't enough if you're navigating the court system with a controlling co-parent. You need structure, strategy, and language.That's what the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint gives you.And starting Friday 28 November 2025, you can get:$300 off4 months of AI Danielle to support you 24/7Take advantage of this special offer.Your future self will thank you.More information about the blueprint: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
If Part 1 helped you understand the patterned aspect of coercive control, this episode helps you finally see the harm.In Part 2 of this series, Danielle Black breaks down the 7 child-directed patterns of coercive control - the tactics most family law professionals completely overlook, and the ones that cause the deepest developmental harm to children.Drawing on lived experience, research, and hundreds of real cases, Danielle explains:The 7 ways coercive control targets children, not just the other parentHow to recognise patterns like conditional love, triangulation, undermining authority, isolation, fear-based compliance, parentification, and gaslightingHow to document these patterns with clarity, accuracy, and strategyWhat professionals need to see (and why they don't connect the dots on their own)How to speak the “language” of the family law system so your concerns cannot be dismissed as conflictIf you've ever felt like something is “off” in the way your ex parents - but struggled to explain it - this episode gives you the words, the lens, and the clarity you've been missing.This is the episode that changes how you see everything.If you're feeling overwhelmed right now - good. It means your instincts are working.But instinct isn't enough if you're navigating the court system with a controlling co-parent. You need structure, strategy, and language.That's what the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint gives you.And starting Friday 28 November 2025, you can get:$300 off4 months of AI Danielle to support you 24/7Take advantage of this special offer.Your future self will thank you.More information about the blueprint: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn't “high conflict,” it's coercive control? And why does that mislabel put your children in danger?In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down the core reason the family law system consistently fails to recognise coercive control: it's using the wrong framework.While professionals are trained to look for incidents, coercive control is a pattern - and one that directly harms children long after separation.Drawing on lived experience, current research (including Professor Evan Stark and Dr Julie Blake), and two decades of lived experience along with supporting hundreds of protective parents, Danielle explains:Why coercive control is repeatedly misidentified as “communication issues”How patterns become invisible when professionals look only for incidentsWhy coercive control is a parenting issue, not just an “adult relationship issue”The seven child-directed patterns parents must learn to identify (Black 2025)How mislabelling coercive control leads to unsafe recommendations and harmful ordersWhy protective parents must become the experts in their own caseWhat the system needs to understand - and how to make it impossible for them to ignoreThis episode gives you the clarity, language, and strategic lens that most legal professionals simply don't have.If you've ever been dismissed, minimised or misunderstood, this episode will validate your experience - and help you start advocating in a way the system can hear.Part 2 continues later in the week will continue with the 7 patterns of coercive control directed at children - with examples, red flags, and documentation guidance.If you're feeling overwhelmed right now - good. It means your instincts are working.But instinct isn't enough if you're navigating the court system with a controlling co-parent. You need structure, strategy, and language.That's what the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint gives you.And starting Friday 28 November 2025, you can get:$300 off4 months of AI Danielle to support you 24/7Take advantage of this special offer.Your future self will thank you.More information about the blueprint: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in terms of safety.But the uncomfortable truth is this: lawyers know the law, not child development.They are not trained in coercive control, developmental trauma, or the research that actually predicts how children thrive after separation.In this episode, Danielle explains why you must lead your legal team, not follow them - and why relying on “what your lawyer thinks is reasonable” can lead to unsafe, developmentally inappropriate outcomes for your children.You'll learn why evidence, not ideology, must guide your parenting proposals, and how protective parents can become the experts in their own children's needs - rather than outsourcing those decisions to professionals who don't have the training to make them.Danielle also shares a preview of next week's deep dive into coercive control, and gives listeners an early heads-up: do not buy the Blueprint this week - a Black Friday discount and special bonus will be announced next week!In this episode:Lawyers and mediators are not trained in child developmentHow adult “fairness” ideology distorts parenting outcomesThe evidence every protective parent needs to knowWhy you must instruct your lawyer - not the other way aroundHow the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ fills the evidence gapDisclaimer:This podcast contains general information only. It is not legal advice, counselling, or a substitute for individual coaching.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
It's one of the hardest parts of post-separation life: your child still loves, misses, or defends the parent who hurt you.In this deeply compassionate episode, Danielle Black explores the grief, anger, and fear beneath that experience - and explains why children often align with the parent who holds the power, not the peace.You'll learn how unresolved trauma and nervous-system dysregulation affect emotional safety, how to avoid the “mirror trap,” and how to become the lighthouse your child can always find. Through lived experience and trauma-informed insight, Danielle shows that helping children stay emotionally whole means letting them love both parents - without feeling forced to choose.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
Recent reforms in the United Kingdom have shaken the family-law landscape - finally recognising that domestic abuse is not just an adult issue, but a child-safety issue. In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down what's changing in the UK, what Australia has already reformed on paper, and why our culture and professional ideology are still lagging behind.You'll hear how both countries are redefining “best interests of the child” to centre safety over shared care, and why this shift is long overdue. Danielle unpacks the uncomfortable truth: perpetrators of family violence are not good parents, and children have a right to be protected - even when that means limited or no contact.Drawing on her work with protective parents and the 2024 Australian Family Law Act reforms, Danielle explores how society's obsession with “children need both parents” continues to undermine genuine child-focused practice, and what needs to change if we're serious about protecting children from harm.In this episode:What the new UK reforms really mean for family courtsThe parallels with Australia's 2024 Family Law Act changesWhy ideology still outweighs evidence in many legal processesThe truth about family violence as a parenting, not relationship, problemDisclaimer:This podcast provides general information only. It is not legal advice, counselling, or a substitute for individual coaching. Always seek professional guidance specific to your situation.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
When your co-parent's behaviour never seems to change, it's easy to believe that peace will only come once they start doing things differently.But waiting for that moment keeps you stuck - exhausted, reactive, and powerless.In this episode, Danielle unpacks what actually changes your life when the chaos doesn't stop: radical acceptance and building inner capacity.You'll learn how to stop burning energy trying to hold your ex to account, what “dropping the rope” really means, and how to reclaim calm for yourself and your children - even when the other parent refuses to evolve.Danielle also shares an important, trauma-informed clarification: coaching isn't counselling.If trauma responses are still dominating daily life, professional therapy - especially trauma-specific approaches like EMDR - is the essential first step.Coaching then becomes the rocket fuel - the action-based framework that helps you strategise and rebuild, once your nervous system is ready.In this episode:Why radical acceptance isn't “giving up” - it's reclaiming powerHow capacity is built through daily nervous-system practicesWhen coaching helps … and when counselling must come firstWhy documentation still matters - without emotional re-engagementWhat “dropping the rope” looks and feels like in real lifeHow protecting your peace protects your childrenIf you've ever wondered how to stop being triggered by your co-parent's behaviour and start leading from clarity instead of chaos, this episode will help you find that steady ground.Disclaimer:This podcast provides general information only.It is not legal advice, counselling, or a substitute for individual coaching.Always seek professional guidance specific to your situation.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
If you've ever found yourself thinking “My life will only improve when my ex changes,” this episode is for you.In this conversation, Danielle unpacks one of the most common - and painful - thought errors that keeps protective parents trapped in reactivity: believing peace will come only when the other parent behaves differently. You'll learn why waiting for change keeps you powerless, what true emotional and what emotional and nervous system capacity really means.This episode covers:Why your wellbeing can't depend on your co-parent's behaviourThe difference between performance calm and genuine regulationHow to stop fighting reality and start creating stability for your childrenA real-life story of transformation that proves peace is possible without external changeIf you're navigating a high-conflict separation or parenting alongside a difficult ex, this episode will help you understand what actually changes your life - and what doesn't.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
If you've just received a family report that's gotten it completely wrong, this episode is for you. Today we're talking about the "Ted Bundy Effect" in family court - why professionals consistently miss coercive control even when the evidence is right in front of them - and some of the things that need to be considered when you're contemplating whether to settle or proceed to final trial.In this episode:- The "Ted Bundy Effect": why smart professionals get fooled by surface presentation- Research on lie detection and professional bias- Australia's competence crisis in family report writing- What actually happens at final trial (the reality, not the TV version)- The things to consider when weighing up your choices after you receive the family report- Why capacity can matter just as much as evidence when facing trial- The importance of making decisions from clarity rather than fearResources mentioned:- FREE GUIDE: "The Ted Bundy Effect in Family Court: Why Professionals Miss Coercive Control (And What You Can Do About It)" - Download here: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/free-resource-signup- The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint - Complete framework for navigating family court with capacity and strategy - Learn more at: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1- "Capacity for Final Trial" PDF - Available in the Blueprint or for purchase separately in the shop: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-shopAbout Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
The word “trial” shouldn't mean losing yourself. When the stakes feel sky-high, your greatest asset is your capacity - your ability to stay calm, credible and relentlessly child-focused during your Family Court trial.In this episode, we explore trauma-informed strategies for regulating under pressure so you can show up steady and strategic when it matters most. We discuss simple daily habits that build real courtroom composure - from breathwork and gentle movement to visualisation that rehearses a steady tone under cross-examination.We share a practical morning ritual to ground your body and mind, plus real-world tips on what to wear, eat, and how to arrive early enough to avoid the anxiety rush. Inside the courtroom, you'll learn how to pause before you answer, slow your pace, and respond only to the question asked, using calm inner cues like:"I respond, not react""My calm is my power"We also unpack how professionals may assess your capacity during a trial - not "perfection", but rather your ability to think clearly, regulate emotions, and stay child-focused under pressure. Finally, we map a post-court decompression plan so your body can recover instead of replaying every word.If you're a protective parent preparing for a final trial in the Family Court of Australia, this is your field guide to calm, credibility and capacity.For deeper support, including checklists, daily practices and grounding preparation scripts, explore “Capacity for Final Trial” inside Module 20 of the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, or as a standalone download at danielleblackcoaching.com.auAbout Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
A bad family report can feel like a punch to the gut - especially when coercive control gets reframed as “conflict” and your protective choices are miscast as gatekeeping.In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, I unpack what to do if your family report or child impact report isn't in your favour. You'll learn why these reports go wrong, how to respond with calm and clarity, and how to build a plan that keeps your child's safety at the centre.We start by resetting expectations: a family report is evidence, not a verdict. I explain the competence gap among report writers in Australia, the lack of national training, and how outdated assumptions from the old “equal shared parental responsibility” era still distort assessments.Then we get practical. You'll learn how to:Regulate before reactingSeparate observations from conclusionsCreate an error and omission list that highlights misquotes, missing risk analysis, and reframes that minimise harmWe'll map the controllables - your clarity, composure, documentation, and focus on child impact - so the court can see the pattern, even when the system stumbles.If you need structured help, grab the Preparing for Your Family Report Assessment digital guide in the shop or access the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ for strategy, frameworks, and nervous system support.If this episode helped, please follow and share it with another protective parent - and leave a review to help more parents find this resource.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
Today we're walking you through a calmer, clearer way to prepare for meeting with a report writer - one grounded in practical tools and a steady presence that keeps your kids front and centre. Rather than chasing perfect responses, we focus on what report writers actually look for. We talk about common traps like over-explaining, minimising hard truths, or subtly pressuring kids, and you'll hear why “just be honest” is incomplete advice and how calm delivery determines credibility. We also share grounding techniques you can rehearse in daily life so they're there for you under stress: paced breathing, orienting, concise pauses, and short sensory resets. These practices help you stay regulated, think clearly, and communicate with a tone that signals you are safe, steady, and child‑focused.If you're bracing for a report writer meeting, take a breath. You don't need to be perfect - you need to be present. For more structure, we've created a digital guide with example language, and day‑of expectations, plus coaching support is available for tailored preparation. Follow, and please share this with a parent who needs calm over chaos.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
When a single text can hijack your nervous system, “being strong” isn't a mindset - it's a skill you can hone and strengthen. We go behind the scenes of protective parenting and my simple three-step framework (knowledge, capacity, and advocacy) and shine a light on the quiet, invisible work that makes it all come together. Through a powerful client story, we trace the journey from sleepless, fear‑soaked message drafting to calm, clear responses - WITH healthy boundaries, and without the drama spiral.We unpack why capacity is the missing link, and you'll hear how neuroplasticity turns tiny pauses into durable safety. Subtle shifts add up: a steadier heart rate when notifications land, fewer compulsive rewrites, and a growing ability to set boundaries without collapsing. That's the bridge between knowing and doing - especially when you're under pressure from a former partner, family, or even your own legal team.Subscribe, share this with someone who needs steadier days, and leave a quick review to help more protective parents find tools that work. About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
After separation, our mind can turn into either a sanctuary or a torture chamber. In this episode we touch on neuroplasticity, the brain–body loop, and how visualisation activates many of the same pathways as real experience. From there, we translate insight into action. The goal isn't to eliminate big, uncomfortable feelings; it's to build a reliable path back to steadiness so you can respond, not react.If this resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these tools.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
You know the message you need to send - your body knows it too. The heart race at each notification, the late‑night rehearsals, the drafts you delete because every time you raise a concern it explodes into denial or a character assassination. Today we go straight to that paralysis and unpack why it isn't a “communication skills” problem at all, but a control dynamic that punishes you for advocating for your kids.Then we offer a practical path out, but none of this sticks without nervous system capacity - with regulation first and strategy second, you can finally stop chasing “magic words” and "silver bullets", and start building momentum. The goal isn't perfection; it's progress you can feel - fewer 2am intrusive thoughts, steadier changeovers, stronger evidence if orders need to be varied, and more presence with your kids.If you're done being labelled “high conflict” for protecting your children, this conversation gives you language, structure, and tools to act. Follow, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us the one boundary you're putting in place this week.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
The clock says 3 a.m., but your mind won't switch off. You can still feel your child's legs wrapped around your waist at changeover, hear the cry that says "stay", and taste the guilt of agreeing to overnights that never felt right. You were told kids “adapt,” that “equal time” is always best. What if that advice ignores how young brains and bodies actually develop?We walk through the real signs of attachment strain - full-body clinging, sleep disruption, toileting regressions, and meltdowns that linger after return - and connect them to what the research shows about frequent overnights for children under four years. Drawing on peer‑reviewed, government‑commissioned findings from the Australian Institute of Family Studies, we explain why predictability with a primary attachment figure is protective, how stress systems in toddlers react to repeated separations, and how “fairness to adults” can conflict with child development. Then we offer a clear alternative.Knowing the evidence is only half the battle. We unpack the protective parenting framework - knowledge, capacity, and strategic implementation - so you can hold your position when pressure rises. The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint is available now - learn more using this link.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
What if you already have the power to protect your children after separation, but no one's ever told you? In this revealing conversation, Principal Coach and Director of Danielle Black Coaching, Danielle Black, welcomes Specialist Coach Trudie Hargrave to share insights from both their professional expertise and personal journeys through high-conflict separations.From lighthearted coffee preferences to profound reflections on advocacy, this episode peels back the curtain on what makes these coaches uniquely qualified to support protective parents. Trudie's candid admission - "I now see that power lays with you right from the beginning" - challenges the common belief that parents must wait for court permission to act in their children's best interests.The discussion explores how one-on-one coaching creates a container for the emotional turmoil of separation, allowing clients to maintain healthier relationships with friends and family while developing the capacity to advocate effectively. Both coaches emphasise that early intervention and advocacy lead to better outcomes, something they wish they'd understood sooner in their own journeys. The conversation also introduces their comprehensive Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, designed as a living resource parents can return to throughout their journey.Whether you're just beginning to consider separation or deep in the court process, this conversation offers both practical wisdom and emotional validation. As Trudie poignantly reflects, "I wish I had given myself permission that it's okay to reach out for support, that I deserve support through it." Visit danielleblackcoaching.com.au to learn how Danielle and Trudie can help you navigate your post-separation journey with confidence and clarity.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years' experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children's safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ is launching after months of development, offering a comprehensive system that transforms protective parents from conflict-avoidant to strategic advocates for their children's needs.• Knowledge component includes evidence-based child development, safety assessment, and age-appropriate arrangements• Capacity building focuses on nervous system regulation, emotion regulation, and maintaining healthy boundaries• Advocacy element provides strategic communication skills and tools to navigate the Australian legal system• Waitlist subscribers receive exclusive weekend access plus a $250 discount before the public launchWith over 20 comprehensive modules, research directory, and lifetime access, the Blueprint aims to create systemic change by equipping parents with evidence-based approaches.Join the waitlist at danielleblackcoaching.com.au prior to Saturday 27 September (Australian Eastern Standard Time) to receive exclusive launch access and discount codeAbout Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educatio...
Evidence-based approaches that prioritise child safety after separation exist, yet our current family law system in Australia continues to fail children by putting parental contact above protection. When we strip away ideology and look at what research actually shows, we discover that protecting kids from harmful patterns while maintaining safe connection is what truly serves their best interests.• Safety must be the starting point, with every case beginning with the question: "Is this child safe?"• Child development research shows kids need stability, routine, and a secure base with their primary caregiver.• Professional accountability is crucial, with transparent standards and independent oversight for those making life-altering recommendations in the family law space.• Children's voices must be genuinely heard in ways that are developmentally appropriate and trauma-informed.• Protective parents need support, not punishment or pathologisation, for speaking out about harm.• Documentation of patterns is crucial for building evidence of harmful behaviour.• Challenge professional competence by asking about training in coercive control and assessment tools.• Find allies who understand trauma, coercive control, and child development.The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ brings together the research, strategies, and frameworks to help navigate post-separation parenting strategically. Join the waitlist at danielleblackcoaching.com.au.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educatio...
The 2006 amendments to Australia's Family Law Act were hailed as progressive reforms designed to promote children's relationships with both parents after separation. But what if these changes actually made children less safe? What if the evidence shows children were better protected before this ideological shift?In this eye-opening episode, we expose how well-intentioned policy created a 20-year disaster for the protection of children in Australia's family law system. Before 2006, the typical every-other-weekend arrangement actually limited children's exposure to harmful patterns while maintaining connections with non-primary caregivers. The mathematics is simple but shocking: we went from minimising children's exposure to trauma to maximising it, all in the name of "progress".The 2006 amendments introduced a presumption of equal shared parental responsibility that quickly became interpreted as pressure for equal or significant time arrangements. The result? Safety concerns became viewed as obstacles, protective parents were labelled as "alienators", and family violence was reframed as "conflict" to avoid interfering with maximum contact.This policy failure directly created the professional incompetence crisis we see today. Family report writers, lawyers, judges and others weren't trained to identify coercive control - the focus was on overcoming obstacles to maximum contact. Even with recent changes to the Family Law Act, twenty years of harmful ideology will take time to shift.Join me as we examine this failed experiment and look toward evidence-based reform that truly protects children. Don't miss the next episode where I'll share strategies to help protective parents navigate this broken system while advocating for the changes our children deserve.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educatio...
What happens when the very experts meant to protect our children can't identify the abuse that's harming them? Australian research from the University of Queensland delivers a shocking revelation: children exposed to coercive control have more than double the odds of developing PTSD compared to their peers. The trauma isn't theoretical - it manifests as anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidality, and substance abuse disorders that can shadow them throughout their lives. Yet every day, family court professionals across Australia fail to recognise these harmful patterns. Instead, they mislabel abuse as "conflict" or "communication difficulties," creating recommendations that significantly expose children to ongoing coercive control.The system's failures create a particularly cruel form of class discrimination. Wealthy families can challenge problematic reports in the court system, albeit at enormous financial cost, while those relying on legal aid often face pressure to accept harmful arrangements when told they have "no legal basis" to fight. Your child's protection from abuse patterns shouldn't depend on your bank account, but it often does.Ready to better protect your children? Download our free Post-Separation Abuse Checklist and Workbook to document the very patterns professionals consistently miss, and learn practical strategies through our Capacity Challenge and Common Mistakes Guide - both available in the 'resources' section of the website, danielleblackcoaching.com.au While we work toward systemic reform, these tools can help you advocate effectively within the current flawed system. Your children's safety isn't too much to ask - it's the bare minimum they deserve.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educational a...
Navigating life after separation requires more than just knowing what your children need - it demands the capacity to advocate for them even when it's deeply uncomfortable. In this groundbreaking episode, I reveal my proprietary framework that's transformed hundreds of parents from conflict avoidant to genuinely protective.The Three Steps to Protective Parenting® framework addresses the missing link in most post-separation advice. While professionals typically focus on providing information - communication scripts, legal strategies, parenting tips - they overlook the crucial element of capacity building. This oversight explains why so many parents remain stuck, unable to implement what they know is right for their children.Capacity grows through gradually and intentionally facing manageable discomfort - not avoiding it. When you practice pausing before reacting to triggers, you're literally rewiring neural pathways between your prefrontal cortex and limbic system. This isn't just feel-good advice; it's neuroscience.Ready to begin building your protective capacity today? Use the link to take on the Capacity Challenge, complete with printable PDF guide.For comprehensive support, join the waitlist for the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint launching later in September 2025, or book a one-on-one coaching call at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. Your children need you to be more than informed - they need you capable of acting even when it's difficult, and I'm here to help.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educational a...
Even when parenting arrangements seem impossible to change, we can strengthen our children's attachment security through consistent, attuned care during the time we do have with them. The remarkable plasticity of children's brains means attachment repair can happen at any stage when they experience responsive caregiving.• Quality of interaction matters far more than quantity of time when building secure attachment• Children's brains remain capable of healing and forming new patterns throughout development• Attachment repair requires creating safety, attunement, co-regulation, and emotional repair• Consistent rituals around transitions help children's nervous systems regulate during changeovers• Co-regulation techniques include breathing together, sensory comfort, and emotional validation• Avoid putting children in loyalty binds by not seeking information or speaking negatively about the other parent• Age-specific strategies help address developmental needs from infancy through adolescence• Parents should consider professional help when children show persistent attachment disruption• Working on your own attachment security and regulation is crucial for supporting your child• Attachment repair is a long-term process that builds "earned security" and lifelong relationship skillsJoin the waitlist for the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint at danielleblackcoaching.com.au to access comprehensive guidance on supporting children through difficult transitions and evidence-based approaches for advocating for arrangements that truly serve their needs.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educational a...
Attachment theory is a crucial but often misunderstood concept that significantly impacts children's wellbeing after parents separate. Understanding attachment isn't about controlling access to your child, but rather protecting their fundamental developmental needs when deciding upon post-separation parenting arrangements.• Attachment is a biological survival system ensuring children stay close to caregivers who keep them safe and help regulate emotions• Children form a hierarchy of attachments with usually one primary attachment figure who provides consistent, responsive care• Attachment develops through thousands of interactions from infancy through preschool years• When primary attachments are disrupted, children's stress hormones increase, affecting brain development• Signs of attachment disruption include regression, clinginess, sleep problems, and emotional dysregulation• The myth that "children are resilient" often justifies arrangements that harm attachment security, and negatively impact child development• Secure attachments in childhood lead to better emotional regulation, healthier relationships and improved mental health throughout life• Post-separation arrangements should prioritise maintaining the child's primary attachment while supporting other relationships• Young children generally need primary residence with their main attachment figure and shorter, frequent contact with the non-primary parent• Gradual transitions based on the child's readiness, not adult demands, best support attachment securityCheck out the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint for comprehensive guidance on applying attachment research to real-world parenting arrangement decisions and advocating effectively for your child's needs.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educational a...
What if the arrangement everyone claims is "best for children" after separation is actually harming them? This provocative question forms the foundation of our deep dive into the dangerous myth of 50-50 equal shared parenting time.Drawing on Australian government-commissioned research and international studies, we expose how equal shared care arrangements can negatively impact children's emotional regulation and attachment security - particularly for young children under four years of age. The science is clear: children don't benefit from mathematical equality in care arrangements - they need parenting plans tailored to their developmental stages and individual needs.We unpack the stunning hypocrisy in how primary caregiving work (most often performed by mothers) is valued before separation versus after. Society demands mothers sacrifice everything as primary caregivers, then suddenly treats that caregiving as worthless when parents separate. This isn't about gender equality - it's about using the language of "fairness" to mask a profound devaluation of nurturing work.The developmental reality is that children's needs vary dramatically with age. Babies and toddlers forming primary attachments need consistent, predictable access to their primary caregiver. Preschoolers developing emotion regulation still need a secure base. School-aged children benefit from stability during the school term. Teenagers need input into their own arrangements. One size simply doesn't fit all, and arrangements that might harm a two-year-old could be appropriate for a twelve-year-old.Trust your instincts if you're being pressured into arrangements that don't feel right. The consequences of inappropriate arrangements can be severe -attachment disruption, chronic stress, emotion regulation difficulties, and academic problems that are often dismissed as "normal adjustment" when they're actually warning signs. Your job isn't keeping other adults happy - it's advocating for arrangements that support your children's healthy development, even when that means challenging popular assumptions. Ready to learn more? Check out the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint for comprehensive, evidence-based guidance.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples) *This podcast is provided for educational a...
In this episode, I pull back the curtain on my personal journey through coercive control and post-separation abuse in this raw, vulnerable episode. I share how I met my former partner at just 17, failing to recognise the red flags of control because they mirrored dynamics that I witnessed in childhood. When I finally left the relationship when my son was 12 months old, what I thought would end the abuse actually marked the beginning of a new, equally devastating phase.I recount how fear paralysed me when my ex threatened to take our son away if I didn't agree to equal shared parenting time ('50-50'). Despite our son's obvious distress at transitions and repeated pleas not to go to his father's house, I remained conflict-avoidant rather than protective for many years - a decision that is still my greatest regret. The family court system eventually protected my son, but only after years of inappropriate arrangements that caused significant harm.I'm not sharing my story for sympathy, but to serve as both a warning and a guide for others. Protective instincts are usually correct, early intervention prevents years of harm, and knowledge can help you on the path to overcoming fear when making critical post-separation parenting decisions. My painful experiences ultimately led to the creation of the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint, a comprehensive resource containing everything I wished I'd known during my own separation journey.Whether you're contemplating separation, already navigating co-parenting challenges, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers invaluable insights from someone who's walked this difficult path. I'd love for you to join my mission of transforming how we approach post-separation parenting to truly prioritise children's wellbeing over adult needs, perceived entitlements and concepts of fairness.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Ever had that gut feeling that the "professional advice" about your parenting arrangements just didn't fit your child's needs? You're not alone, and you're probably not wrong.The heartbreaking reality is that many professionals working in the separation space - lawyers, mediators, coaches, even family therapists - are operating on dangerous myths rather than developmental science. They push arrangements that sound "fair" to adults while ignoring what children actually need to thrive.Take Sarah's story: her four-year-old was having meltdowns, sleep disruptions, and clinging desperately at changeovers in their "fair" 50-50 arrangement. Yet three different professionals dismissed her concerns, suggesting she was the one with separation anxiety! This pattern repeats itself thousands of times across Australia, as protective parents are labelled "difficult" for questioning arrangements that genuinely harm their children.The myths are pervasive: that equal time is the gold standard (spoiler alert: it's not), that children just need parents to "get along" (oftentimes protection matters more), that children will adjust to anything (some arrangements cause lasting developmental damage), that parents' rights trump children's needs, and that connection to both parents is always worth the risk.What should drive post-separation decisions instead? Child development science, individual family circumstances (including safety concerns), and what children's behaviour tells us about their wellbeing. When we start from this foundation, appropriate arrangements become much clearer.Ready to advocate confidently for your child's genuine needs? Trust your parental instincts. Ask better questions. Seek professionals who understand child development - not just family law. And join the waitlist for the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint at danielleblackcoaching.com.au to get evidence-based guidance that truly serves your children's wellbeing and best interests.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Welcome back to a transformative episode after a year-long hiatus! While I've been away from the microphone, I've been deeply immersed in the trenches with my one-on-one clients, gaining invaluable insights that I'm finally ready to share with you all.Today's episode tackles a confronting question that sits at the heart of post-separation parenting: Are you a protective parent or are you striving to avoid conflict? The uncomfortable truth is that you cannot be both simultaneously. This isn't about creating unnecessary drama – it's about recognising that sometimes protecting your children requires difficult conversations, firm boundaries, and yes, engaging in conflict when that conflict serves your children's best interests.Many parents remain trapped in patterns of conflict avoidance, accepting arrangements that don't feel right because standing up would rock the boat. But if avoiding conflict was going to protect your kids, it would have worked by now. True protection requires developing new capacities: learning to regulate your nervous system, making decisions from a place of clarity rather than fear, and building the knowledge base to advocate effectively for your children's needs.That's why I'm thrilled to announce the upcoming Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint – a comprehensive resource designed to give you evidence-based information about children's developmental needs and effective advocacy strategies. Join the waitlist now at danielleblackcoaching.com.au to receive exclusive early access, special pricing, and immediate resources including a mini-guide on the five critical mistakes parents make post-separation.Your children need you to step up and become the protective parent they deserve. The choice is yours - what will you choose?About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting, helping parents cut through professional pressure and harmful myths to make decisions based on what children actually need. Having navigated her own complex separation and divorce, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle provides evidence-based strategies that challenge inappropriate arrangements and put children's wellbeing first. The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast helps listeners to understand the nuances of ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and challenges harmful myths about post-separation parenting and provides evidence-based guidance for protective parents. Ready to transform your approach to parenting after separation? Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode: danielleblackcoaching.com.au Follow Danielle on Instagram: @danielleblackcoaching MORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN: 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Ever wondered how to regain control when communicating with a controlling ex-partner? Join me, Australian Separation and Divorce Coach Danielle Black, as we discuss the insidious tactics like DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) used by these controlling personalities, and learn how their lack of empathy and pathological lying can make them seem more strategic and intelligent than they really are. Protecting your mental and emotional well-being is crucial, especially if you're dealing with PTSD or complex PTSD. We'll dive into the importance of establishing healthy boundaries with your ex-partner to prevent ongoing conflict and potential court complications. Understand why canned responses might backfire and why seeking professional support can make all the difference in crafting effective communication. My 1:1 coaching clients get access to exclusive resources to help them navigate communication with their former partners with confidence and clarity. Sound good? Reach out via my website to connect with me today!I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Join me, Australian coach Danielle Black, as I discuss how my specialised coaching approach prioritises the well-being of both you and your children, equipping you with the tools to set firm boundaries and effectively engage with the legal system after separation. I delve into the unique benefits of one-on-one coaching, supplemented by the camaraderie of group membership, and discuss how weekly group video calls and an online platform can create essential human connections, providing you with much-needed emotional support in a safe and supportive space. You'll gain a clear understanding of why individualised coaching is indispensable for those navigating complex and legally challenging divorces, ensuring that your unique needs are met with precision and care.I also share with you the ways in which I support clients, including providing strategic guidance to assist in modifying parenting plans without legal repercussions, and preparing clients for interactions with court child experts and family consultants. By focusing on the safety and well-being of your children, my approach can not only save you money overall, but also helps to you maximise the likelihood of a far better outcome. I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Can you truly distinguish personality disorders from PTSD and CPTSD, or are the lines more blurred than we think? Join me, Danielle Black, as I unravel the complexities of these conditions, shedding light on how traits like mood swings, depression, and emotional dysregulation overlap in CPTSD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I discuss the critical role of accurate diagnosis and effective therapies, such as EMDR, in helping individuals process trauma and reduce emotional triggers. Mislabeling can lead to harmful consequences, so awareness and understanding are paramount.In the latter part of this episode, I dive into identifying key traits of personality disorders and high conflict personalities, including their impact on relationships and social interactions. I dissect how blaming others, hypersensitivity to criticism, and a lack of self-awareness can make relationships with these individuals particularly challenging. We explore the manipulative behaviours commonly seen in non-disordered abusers and discuss the significant influence of male entitlement and misogyny in abusive dynamics. Lastly, I provide insights into the difficulties of co-parenting and separation from high-conflict, personality disordered individuals, emphasising the importance of personalised strategies over generic 'cookie cutter' solutions.I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
What happens when we hastily label our abusive ex-partners as narcissists? Join me, specialist Australian Separation & Divorce Coach Danielle Black, as I explore the critical differences between narcissistic traits and true personality disorders in abusive relationships. We'll uncover the fact that most abusive male behaviours stem from perceived male entitlement rather than clinical disorders, and how this understanding can change the way you navigate your own experiences. By delving into concepts like male entitlement, and assessing whether problematic or harmful behaviours are consistent across various relationships, you'll gain a clearer perspective on your situation and avoid the pitfalls of mislabeling.Co-parenting with a potentially "narcissistic" ex, especially when trauma is involved, presents a unique set of challenges. In this episode, we'll look at how trauma and PTSD can sometimes mimic narcissistic behaviours and why it's crucial to distinguish between trauma-driven actions and those stemming from male entitlement and/or personality disorders. You'll also learn that generic strategies marketed towards "divorcing a narcissist", like grey rock communication, may not be effective and may even harm your case. We'll also dissect the long-term patterns associated with personality disorders, helping you recognise key traits and behaviours that differentiate them from non-disordered abusive partners. I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
This episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, hosted by Danielle Black, promises to tackle the disturbing realities of abusive and neglectful parenting. Learn how controlling and abusive parents manipulate their children through tactics like 'infantilisation' and 'parentification'. Discover the emotional toll these harmful behaviours take on the children, making them bear the weight of adult responsibilities and catering to a parent's emotional needs. Uncover the red flags, such as threats of self-harm by the abusive parent, and understand the critical importance of recognising these signs to protect the well-being of children.Specialist coach Danielle Black also shines a spotlight on the behaviours of controlling fathers who use post-separation parenting time as a tool for control rather than connection. These fathers often impose unrealistic expectations, outsource parenting duties, and employ various abusive tactics to maintain dominance. Danielle emphasises the necessity of prioritising the safety and well-being of children over the emotional demands of an abusive ex-partner. As the episode wraps up, find out how to navigate the emotional and logistical hurdles of separation and co-parenting by seeking out supportive resources like 1-800-RESPECT, Danielle's coaching services, and the Stronger, Braver Together community. Join Danielle to find strength, understanding, strategy and practical advice on this challenging journey.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Can cultural and spiritual beliefs be weaponised against you, even after a relationship ends? On this episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast with Danielle Black, discover how abusers manipulate cultural and religious values to maintain control and inflict pain post-separation. Learn how these manipulative tactics can manifest, from undermining your religious beliefs to preventing your children from embracing their heritage.Join Danielle as she sheds light on the additional betrayal faced by survivors who turn to their cultural or religious communities for support, only to be met with shaming and ostracisation. This episode aims to empower survivors by exposing these insidious forms of abuse and advocating for stronger support systems within our cultural and religious communities.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Ever felt trapped in your own life due to someone else's control over your finances? Discover the insidious world of economic and financial abuse as we unveil tactics that can keep you chained to a controlling partner long after separation. This week, I open up about my own struggle with grief after losing a family member and the importance of taking time to care for ourselves, especially when life gets overwhelming. With heartfelt thanks to my supportive clients, I return to the series on post-separation abuse, shining a light on the subtle yet damaging behaviours designed to manipulate and control.Join me, Danielle Black, as I uncover how economic abuse manifests during and post-relationship, hindering your career and personal growth under the guise of "flexibility". Learn how to identify these manipulative tactics, from unpredictable care arrangements to being forced into domestic roles. Tune in for an enlightening and empowering episode aimed at helping you navigate these challenges and take back control of your life.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Have you ever felt like your role as a parent is constantly being sabotaged by your ex? The struggle is real!Controlling and abusive former partners can use both overt and covert strategies to undermine your parenting—like the "Disneyland dad" phenomenon and turning special occasions into battlegrounds. In listening to his episode you'll learn how to spot these patterns. Remember, knowledge is power—understanding your ex's motives and manoeuvers is the first step towards maintaining your sanity and protecting your children's wellbeing. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Welcome. I'm Danielle Black, and today we're exploring the manipulative tactics used by controlling abusers who weaponise children in their ongoing power struggles. We'll uncover how these abusers, masking their self-interest as parental concern, often disregard their children's emotional well-being and developmental needs. With heartfelt gratitude, I'm also sharing a glimpse into my world as we transition to weekly episodes. Your unwavering support has allowed me to deepen my commitment to one-on-one coaching, and in turn, continue our shared journey through the complex terrain of separation and co-parenting. Your ongoing support engagement – follows, ratings, and reviews – fuels my mission to guide and support more women who are navigating separation, divorce and co-parenting with a controlling former partner. So here's to our growing community and to the empowering conversations that lie ahead, as we chart a course toward healing and resilience.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Help me to shatter the silence surrounding post-separation abuse as I reveal the unseen struggles that many victim-survivors face. In this episode I expose the stark reality of how manipulative and controlling men brand themselves as victims, and attempt to turn friends, family, and even professionals into unwitting accomplices. This episode is a clarion call for community action and solidarity with those who have endured men's violence during relationships and post-separation. By challenging the harmful myths that protect abusers and hinder support systems, this discussion is an urgent reminder of our shared duty to create a society that upholds the truth and helps survivors establish support and safety. Join me for a powerful conversation that champions change and offers a beacon of hope to those fighting to be heard.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Every day, women across Australia are grappling with the crushing weight of domestic violence, and their cries for help are too often muffled by a system that seems to favor the abuser. The harsh reality is that our society burdens women with the responsibility for men's violence, and men's emotions when they struggle with being held accountable.So many victim-survivors courageously advocate for themselves and their children - only to deal with a law enforcement and legal system that often extends colludes with the victim narrative of the abuser. It's time we call out the societal tendency to hold victims accountable for their abusers' actions and feelings. It's time we champion the message that the responsibility for abuse, and the abusers emotions when he's held accountable, lie unequivocally with the perpetrator—NEVER the victim. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
In this episode I peel back the layers of manipulation and control that continue long after a relationship ends. We're not just talking about anger-fueled outbursts; this is a strategic game of blame-shifting and reality distortion that abusers play to maintain their grip on victims. This episode is a deep exploration into the ways abusers enlist friends, family, and even legal systems to uphold their twisted version of events, how they target the mental health of the protective parent, and the dangerous sense of entitlement that drives their actions. Whether you're seeking understanding, healing, or strategies to safeguard your well-being, join me as we confront these challenges head-on, providing a beacon of hope and a roadmap to reclaiming your power.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
As your navigator through the stormy seas of post-separation abuse, I'm here to shine a light on the often unseen tactics abusers wield to keep their grip on power. Together, we'll uncover how subtle acts of intimidation and control can persist long after a relationship's end. By recognising these often covert strategies, you'll arm yourself with the knowledge needed to begin safeguarding yourself and shielding your children. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
This episode reveals how abusers wield systems and institutions as tools of manipulation, continuing to torment their former partners long after the separation. Join me as I dissect the underbelly of family violence's evolution into post-separation abuse, shining a light on the patterns perpetrators use to engage and exhaust their former partners. Where using systems and institutions is concerned, this can include false reports to law enforcement, twisted custody battles, and blatant disregard for legal boundaries. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Discover the transformative path to empowerment after a break from a restrictive or abusive relationship. With me, Danielle Black, as your guide, this episode promises insights and strategies for harnessing the power of positive thinking to reclaim control over your life. We tackle the essential actions for laying a foundation for a healthier future, such as seeking professional coaching, finding solace in group support, and connecting with online communities. It's not just about positive affirmations but about mastering your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to build resilience and ensure the best transition for you and your children.Navigating the rough waters of divorce and co-parenting with a controlling ex-partner requires the right balance between optimism and realism. In our conversation, we delve into the potential dangers of excessive positivity and the importance of setting realistic expectations in the face of legal challenges. Learn how to strike a delicate balance that allows for healthy positive thinking while fully embracing the reality of your situation. By setting clear boundaries and managing your emotional responses, you'll gain mental control that benefits not only yourself but also supports your children through these life-altering changes. Join us on this journey as we explore effective strategies for managing life's most difficult transitions with your well-being as the compass.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Growing up in the 80s meant boundaries were often blurred or altogether nonexistent for many of us, myself included. Today, I'm sharing my journey and the crucial lessons learned about the importance of establishing healthy boundaries for and with our children. As a Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, I've seen firsthand the transformative power of teaching kids to tune in to their feelings and intuition. In this episode, I draw on personal reflections and professional insights to discuss how our children learn the art of setting and maintaining boundaries by watching us. I also explore how clear, consistent limits not only help kids feel secure but also empower them to say no to the people-pleasing behaviours that many of us were raised to embrace.This conversation naturally leads us to the delicate topic of consent and personal boundaries within relationships, a lesson crucial for every child's emotional development. Emphasising love without obligation, I delve into how we can guide our kids to understand that they have the right to their personal space and feelings, regardless of who is asking for affection. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
You're not alone on the path toward reclaiming your life after separation—countless courageous women have walked this journey, and their stories of transformation are nothing short of heroic. This episode is an ode to their strength, as we explore the transformative power of setting boundaries and the neurological rewiring that accompanies this act of self-care. This episode celebrates the incredible power of neuroplasticity; our brain's ability to adapt and grow stronger with each boundary that we set. It's a masterclass in reinforcing your personal limits without excuses or justifications, a skill that serves well beyond post-separation relationships. By choosing transformation, we not only transform our own lives but also contribute to a broader culture of respect and healthy boundaries. Thank you for lending your ear to this essential conversation—Let's move confidently toward a future of growth and positive change together!I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Whether you're navigating the rough waters of separation, enduring the aftermath of divorce, or co-parenting with an ex-partner who exerts control, this episode promises insights that will support you on your journey. In this episode I discuss the issue of rejection—exploring the whirlwind of emotions it can trigger and how past traumas might influence our perception of 'no.' Tune in as we lay the groundwork for personal growth, emotional maturity, and the pursuit of healthier, more autonomous relationship dynamics.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
The hidden gambit of abusers to weaponize mental health allegations in post-separation parenting disputes is both cruel and cunning. As mentioned in the title of this episode, I also wax lyrical about the way in which I despise the way in which entitled abusers can so relentlessly seek equal shared care (or "50/50" parenting time). With the anticipated legislative reforms that will remove the presumption of equal shared parental responsibility (the decision making component of parenting) , we're on the cusp of a transformation in Australian family law. Through my lens as a Specialist Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, I celebrate the shift toward safeguarding the well-being of children, moving us past the archaic and abusive notion of treating kids as mere assets to be divided equally.Brace yourself as we navigate the treacherous landscape of legal and mental health challenges that surface during these high-stakes disputes. Equipped with practical guidance, I discuss the importance of standing firm against aggressive legal tactics and the power of facts in the courtroom. Mental health isn't just a point of contention—it's a critical area to bolster, through professional support and self-care, ensuring your resilience shines through. What's more, I extend an invitation to you, offering a downloadable checklist and workbook to navigate post-separation abuse, and the opportunity for personal coaching or group membership to bolster your support system. Together, we are stronger, and in this episode, we unite in the journey to reclaim power in the face of adversity. Let's go!I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
I've felt the sting of disbelief and the accusations of "liar!" from 'flying monkeys' first-hand. In this episode I continue to peel back the layers of post-separation abuse and the deeply entrenched sexism that allows it to thrive in families, communities and society as a whole. I invite you to a space where we confront the skewed societal narratives that let men shirk their fair share of responsibilities in the home and parenthood, all while scrutinising the women who dare to challenge these norms. This episode isn't just about airing grievances; it's a call to action, a discussion on how we, as a community, can support and empower each other to reclaim our autonomy and stand firm in our truth.In this episode I tackle the tough issues head-on—how internalised misogyny fuels the defense of abusers and helps Flying Monkeys to feel that all is well with the world.As a specialist separation and divorce coach, my privilege is to support my community of clients to stand together, offering a beacon of hope and a reminder that their truth, no matter how fiercely others may deny it, is valid and deserves to be heard.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Have you ever witnessed a friend or family member supporting someone you know is harmful? In the latest episode, I pull back the curtain on the role of 'flying monkeys'—those who, perhaps unwittingly, become the enablers of abusers. Join me, Danielle Black, as we delve into the heart of internalised misogyny and post-separation abuse dynamics, uncovering why some women might side with aggressors and take a stand against female victim-survivors of abuse.This conversation extends into the intricacies of relationships where traditional gender roles and internalised misogyny often go unquestioned. I explore the aftereffects of these dynamics on post-separation life, weaving in personal reflections and shared stories to consider how past expectations may haunt our present. It's not about pointing fingers, but about dissecting the societal influence and pressure that shapes our roles as partners and parents. Prepare to be confronted by the hard truths and inspired to join with me to forge a path toward a future where women support women, free from the shadows of internalised sexism and misogyny.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
Discover the insidious ways enablers, allies, and advocates of abusers can deepen the wounds of post-separation abuse. I'm your host, Australian specialist separation and divorce coach Danielle Black, and this episode peels back the curtain on the concept of 'flying monkeys'—individuals who, knowingly or not, become tools in an abusive ex-partner's arsenal, perpetuating a cycle of manipulation and harm. As we dissect the 'abuse by proxy' phenomenon, you'll gain the insight needed to recognize when seemingly supportive figures might, in fact, be reinforcing an abuser's control over you.Navigating the aftermath of a separation is a challenge, especially when abuse enters the picture. That's why I'm here to help unravel the complexities of high-conflict relationships—because understanding the motives and methods of those who might appear as allies is key to regaining your autonomy. I also discuss the problematic narrative surrounding 'narcissistic abuse' and why it is important to recognise that the behaviour of 'flying monkeys' goes well beyond personality disorders. Join me and continue your journey of taking back your power!I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)
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