The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

Ever wondered how to regain control when communicating with a controlling ex-partner? Join me, Australian Separation and Divorce Coach Danielle Black, as we discuss the insidious tactics like DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) used by these controlling personalities, and learn how their lack of empathy and pathological lying can make them seem more strategic and intelligent than they really are. Protecting your mental and emotional well-being is crucial, especially if you're dealing with PTSD or complex PTSD. We'll dive into the importance of establishing healthy boundaries with your ex-partner to prevent ongoing conflict and potential court complications.  Understand why canned responses might backfire and why seeking professional support can make all the difference in crafting effective communication. My 1:1 coaching clients get access to exclusive resources to help them navigate communication with their former partners with confidence and clarity.  Sound good? Reach out via my website to connect with me today!I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Join me, Australian coach Danielle Black, as I discuss how my specialised coaching approach prioritises the well-being of both you and your children, equipping you with the tools to set firm boundaries and effectively engage with the legal system after separation.  I delve into the unique benefits of one-on-one coaching, supplemented by the camaraderie of group membership, and discuss how weekly group video calls and an online platform can create essential human connections, providing you with much-needed emotional support in a safe and supportive space. You'll gain a clear understanding of why individualised coaching is indispensable for those navigating complex and legally challenging divorces, ensuring that your unique needs are met with precision and care.I also share with you the ways in which I support clients, including providing strategic guidance to assist in modifying parenting plans without legal repercussions, and preparing clients for interactions with court child experts and family consultants. By focusing on the safety and well-being of your children, my approach can not only save you money overall, but also helps to you maximise the likelihood of a far better outcome. I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Can you truly distinguish personality disorders from PTSD and CPTSD, or are the lines more blurred than we think? Join me, Danielle Black, as I unravel the complexities of these conditions, shedding light on how traits like mood swings, depression, and emotional dysregulation overlap in CPTSD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I discuss the critical role of accurate diagnosis and effective therapies, such as EMDR, in helping individuals process trauma and reduce emotional triggers. Mislabeling can lead to harmful consequences, so awareness and understanding are paramount.In the latter part of this episode, I dive into identifying key traits of personality disorders and high conflict personalities, including their impact on relationships and social interactions. I dissect how blaming others, hypersensitivity to criticism, and a lack of self-awareness can make relationships with these individuals particularly challenging. We explore the manipulative behaviours commonly seen in non-disordered abusers and discuss the significant influence of male entitlement and misogyny in abusive dynamics. Lastly, I provide insights into the difficulties of co-parenting and separation from high-conflict, personality disordered individuals, emphasising the importance of personalised strategies over generic 'cookie cutter' solutions.I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

What happens when we hastily label our abusive ex-partners as narcissists? Join me, specialist Australian Separation & Divorce Coach Danielle Black, as I explore the critical differences between narcissistic traits and true personality disorders in abusive relationships. We'll uncover the fact that most abusive male behaviours stem from perceived male entitlement  rather than clinical disorders, and how this understanding can change the way you navigate your own experiences. By delving into concepts like male entitlement, and assessing whether problematic or harmful behaviours are consistent across various relationships, you'll gain a clearer perspective on your situation and avoid the pitfalls of mislabeling.Co-parenting with a potentially "narcissistic" ex, especially when trauma is involved, presents a unique set of challenges. In this episode, we'll look at how trauma and PTSD can sometimes mimic narcissistic behaviours and why it's crucial to distinguish between trauma-driven actions and those stemming from male entitlement and/or personality disorders. You'll also learn that generic strategies marketed towards "divorcing a narcissist", like grey rock communication, may not be effective and may even harm your case. We'll also dissect the long-term patterns associated with personality disorders, helping you recognise key traits and behaviours that differentiate them from non-disordered abusive partners.   I'm a specialist Separation, Divorce & Co-Parenting Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women to strategically navigate ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation, and to optimise their outcome for themselves and their children. Part of my specialist coaching includes helping women to optimise their court outcomes, particularly parenting arrangements. If you are navigating the court system with a controlling former partner, or suspect that you might in the future, I can help.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

This episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, hosted by Danielle Black, promises to tackle the disturbing realities of abusive and neglectful parenting. Learn how controlling and abusive parents manipulate their children through tactics like 'infantilisation' and 'parentification'. Discover the emotional toll these harmful behaviours take on the children, making them bear the weight of adult responsibilities and catering to a parent's emotional needs. Uncover the red flags, such as threats of self-harm by the abusive parent, and understand the critical importance of recognising these signs to protect the well-being of children.Specialist coach Danielle Black also shines a spotlight on the behaviours of controlling fathers who use post-separation parenting time as a tool for control rather than connection. These fathers often impose unrealistic expectations, outsource parenting duties, and employ various abusive tactics to maintain dominance. Danielle emphasises the necessity of prioritising the safety and well-being of children over the emotional demands of an abusive ex-partner. As the episode wraps up, find out how to navigate the emotional and logistical hurdles of separation and co-parenting by seeking out supportive resources like 1-800-RESPECT, Danielle's coaching services, and the Stronger, Braver Together community. Join Danielle to find strength, understanding, strategy and practical advice on this challenging journey.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Can cultural and spiritual beliefs be weaponised against you, even after a relationship ends? On this episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast with Danielle Black, discover how abusers manipulate cultural and religious values to maintain control and inflict pain post-separation. Learn how these manipulative tactics can manifest, from undermining your religious beliefs to preventing your children from embracing their heritage.Join Danielle as she sheds light on the additional betrayal faced by survivors who turn to their cultural or religious communities for support, only to be met with shaming and ostracisation. This episode aims to empower survivors by exposing these insidious forms of abuse and advocating for stronger support systems within our cultural and religious communities.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Ever felt trapped in your own life due to someone else's control over your finances? Discover the insidious world of economic and financial abuse as we unveil tactics that can keep you chained to a controlling partner long after separation. This week, I open up about my own struggle with grief after losing a  family member and the importance of taking time to care for ourselves, especially when life gets overwhelming.  With heartfelt thanks to my supportive clients, I return to the series on post-separation abuse, shining a light on the subtle yet damaging behaviours designed to manipulate and control.Join me, Danielle Black, as I uncover how economic abuse manifests during and post-relationship, hindering your career and personal growth under the guise of "flexibility". Learn how to identify these manipulative tactics, from unpredictable care arrangements to being forced into domestic roles.  Tune in for an enlightening and empowering episode aimed at helping you navigate these challenges and take back control of your life.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Have you ever felt like your role as a parent is constantly being sabotaged by your ex? The struggle is real!Controlling and abusive former partners can use both overt and covert strategies to undermine your parenting—like the "Disneyland dad" phenomenon and turning special occasions into battlegrounds.   In listening to his episode you'll learn how to spot these patterns.  Remember, knowledge is power—understanding your ex's motives and manoeuvers is the first step towards maintaining your sanity and protecting your children's wellbeing.   I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Welcome.   I'm Danielle Black, and today we're  exploring the manipulative tactics used by controlling abusers who weaponise children in their ongoing power struggles. We'll uncover how these abusers, masking their self-interest as parental concern, often disregard their children's emotional well-being and developmental needs. With heartfelt gratitude, I'm also sharing a glimpse into my world as we transition to weekly episodes. Your unwavering support has allowed me to deepen my commitment to one-on-one coaching, and in turn, continue our shared journey through the complex terrain of separation and co-parenting. Your ongoing support engagement – follows, ratings, and reviews – fuels my mission to guide and support more women who are navigating separation, divorce and co-parenting with a controlling former partner.   So here's to our growing community and to the empowering conversations that lie ahead, as we chart a course toward healing and resilience.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Help me to shatter the silence surrounding post-separation abuse as I reveal the unseen struggles that many victim-survivors face. In this episode I expose the stark reality of how  manipulative and controlling men brand themselves as victims, and attempt to turn friends, family, and even professionals into unwitting accomplices. This episode is a clarion call for community action and solidarity with those who have endured men's violence during relationships and post-separation.  By challenging the harmful myths that protect abusers and hinder support systems, this discussion is an urgent reminder of our shared duty to create a society that upholds the truth and helps survivors establish support and safety. Join me for a powerful conversation that champions change and offers a beacon of hope to those fighting to be heard.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Every day, women across Australia are grappling with the crushing weight of domestic violence, and their cries for help are too often muffled by a system that seems to favor the abuser. The harsh reality is that our society burdens women with the responsibility for men's violence, and men's emotions when they struggle with being held accountable.So many victim-survivors courageously advocate for themselves and their children - only to deal with a law enforcement and legal system that often extends colludes with the victim narrative of the abuser. It's time we call out the societal tendency to hold victims accountable for their abusers' actions and feelings.  It's time we champion the message that the responsibility for abuse, and the abusers emotions when he's held accountable, lie unequivocally with the perpetrator—NEVER the victim.   I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

In this episode I peel back the layers of manipulation and control that continue long after a relationship ends. We're not just talking about anger-fueled outbursts; this is a strategic game of blame-shifting and reality distortion that abusers play to maintain their grip on victims. This episode is a deep exploration into the ways abusers enlist friends, family, and even legal systems to uphold their twisted version of events, how they target the mental health of the protective parent, and the dangerous sense of entitlement that drives their actions. Whether you're seeking understanding, healing, or strategies to safeguard your well-being, join me as we confront these challenges head-on, providing a beacon of hope and a roadmap to reclaiming your power.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

As your navigator through the stormy seas of post-separation abuse, I'm here to shine a light on the often unseen tactics abusers wield to keep their grip on power. Together, we'll uncover how subtle acts of intimidation and control can persist long after a relationship's end. By recognising these often covert strategies, you'll arm yourself with the knowledge needed to begin safeguarding yourself and shielding your children. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

This episode reveals how abusers wield systems and institutions as tools of manipulation, continuing to torment their former partners long after the separation. Join me as I dissect the underbelly of family violence's evolution into post-separation abuse, shining a light on the patterns perpetrators use to engage and exhaust their former partners. Where using systems and institutions is concerned, this can include false reports to law enforcement, twisted custody battles, and blatant disregard for legal boundaries.  I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Discover the transformative path to empowerment after a break from a restrictive or abusive relationship. With me, Danielle Black, as your guide, this episode promises insights and strategies for harnessing the power of positive thinking to reclaim control over your life. We tackle the essential actions for laying a foundation for a healthier future, such as seeking professional coaching, finding solace in group support, and connecting with online communities. It's not just about positive affirmations but about mastering your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to build resilience and ensure the best transition for you and your children.Navigating the rough waters of divorce and co-parenting with a controlling ex-partner requires the right balance between optimism and realism. In our conversation, we delve into the potential dangers of excessive positivity and the importance of setting realistic expectations in the face of legal challenges. Learn how to strike a delicate balance that allows for healthy positive thinking while fully embracing the reality of your situation. By setting clear boundaries and managing your emotional responses, you'll gain mental control that benefits not only yourself but also supports your children through these life-altering changes. Join us on this journey as we explore effective strategies for managing life's most difficult transitions with your well-being as the compass.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Growing up in the 80s meant boundaries were often blurred or altogether nonexistent for many of us, myself included.  Today, I'm sharing my journey and the crucial lessons learned about the importance of establishing healthy boundaries for and with our children. As a Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, I've seen firsthand the transformative power of teaching kids to tune in to their feelings and intuition. In this episode, I draw on personal reflections and professional insights to discuss how our children learn the art of setting and maintaining boundaries by watching us.  I also explore how clear, consistent limits not only help kids feel secure but also empower them to say no to the people-pleasing behaviours that many of us were raised to embrace.This conversation naturally leads us to the delicate topic of consent and personal boundaries within relationships, a lesson crucial for every child's emotional development. Emphasising love without obligation, I delve into how we can guide our kids to understand that they have the right to their personal space and feelings, regardless of who is asking for affection.  I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

You're not alone on the path toward reclaiming your life after separation—countless courageous women have walked this journey, and their stories of transformation are nothing short of heroic. This episode is an ode to their strength, as we explore the transformative power of setting boundaries and the neurological rewiring that accompanies this act of self-care. This episode celebrates the incredible power of neuroplasticity; our brain's ability to adapt and grow stronger with each boundary that we set. It's a masterclass in reinforcing your personal limits without excuses or justifications, a skill that serves well beyond post-separation relationships. By choosing transformation, we not only transform our own lives but also contribute to a broader culture of respect and healthy boundaries. Thank you for lending your ear to this essential conversation—Let's move confidently toward a future of growth and positive change together!I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Whether you're navigating the rough waters of separation, enduring the aftermath of divorce, or co-parenting with an ex-partner who exerts control, this episode promises insights that will support you on your journey. In this episode I discuss  the issue of rejection—exploring the whirlwind of emotions it can trigger and how past traumas might influence our perception of 'no.' Tune in as we lay the groundwork for personal growth, emotional maturity, and the pursuit of healthier, more autonomous relationship dynamics.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

The hidden gambit of abusers to weaponize mental health allegations in post-separation parenting disputes is both cruel and cunning. As mentioned in the title of this episode, I also wax lyrical about the way in which I despise the way in which entitled abusers can so relentlessly seek equal shared care (or "50/50" parenting time). With the anticipated legislative reforms that will remove the presumption of equal shared parental responsibility (the decision making component of parenting) , we're on the cusp of a transformation in Australian family law. Through my lens as a Specialist Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, I celebrate the shift toward safeguarding the well-being of children, moving us past the archaic and abusive notion of treating kids as mere assets to be divided equally.Brace yourself as we navigate the treacherous landscape of legal and mental health challenges that surface during these high-stakes disputes. Equipped with practical guidance, I discuss the importance of standing firm against aggressive legal tactics and the power of facts in the courtroom. Mental health isn't just a point of contention—it's a critical area to bolster, through professional support and self-care, ensuring your resilience shines through.  What's more, I extend an invitation to you, offering a downloadable checklist and workbook to navigate post-separation abuse, and the opportunity for personal coaching or group membership to bolster your support system. Together, we are stronger, and in this episode, we unite in the journey to reclaim power in the face of adversity.  Let's go!I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

I've felt the sting of disbelief and the accusations of "liar!" from 'flying monkeys' first-hand. In this episode I continue to peel back the layers of post-separation abuse and the deeply entrenched sexism that allows it to thrive in families, communities and society as a whole. I invite you to a space where we confront the skewed societal narratives that let men shirk their fair share of responsibilities in the home and parenthood, all while scrutinising the women who dare to challenge these norms. This episode isn't just about airing grievances; it's a call to action, a discussion on how we, as a community, can support and empower each other to reclaim our autonomy and stand firm in our truth.In this episode I tackle the tough issues head-on—how internalised misogyny fuels the defense of abusers and helps Flying Monkeys to feel that all is well with the world.As a specialist separation and divorce coach, my privilege is to support my community of clients to stand together, offering a beacon of hope and a reminder that their truth, no matter how fiercely others may deny it, is valid and deserves to be heard.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Have you ever witnessed a friend or family member supporting someone you know is harmful? In the latest episode, I pull back the curtain on the role of 'flying monkeys'—those who, perhaps unwittingly, become the enablers of abusers. Join me, Danielle Black, as we delve into the heart of internalised misogyny and post-separation abuse dynamics, uncovering why some women might side with aggressors and take a stand against female victim-survivors of abuse.This conversation extends into the intricacies of relationships where traditional gender roles and internalised misogyny often go unquestioned. I explore the aftereffects of these dynamics on post-separation life, weaving in personal reflections and shared stories to consider how past expectations may haunt our present. It's not about pointing fingers, but about dissecting the societal influence and pressure that shapes our roles as partners and parents. Prepare to be confronted by the hard truths and inspired to join with me to forge a path toward a future where women support women, free from the shadows of internalised sexism and misogyny.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Discover the insidious ways enablers, allies, and advocates of abusers can deepen the wounds of post-separation abuse. I'm your host, Australian specialist separation and divorce coach Danielle Black, and this episode peels back the curtain on the concept of 'flying monkeys'—individuals who, knowingly or not, become tools in an abusive ex-partner's arsenal, perpetuating a cycle of manipulation and harm. As we dissect the 'abuse by proxy' phenomenon, you'll gain the insight needed to recognize when seemingly supportive figures might, in fact, be reinforcing an abuser's control over you.Navigating the aftermath of a separation is a challenge, especially when abuse enters the picture. That's why I'm here to help unravel the complexities of high-conflict relationships—because understanding the motives and methods of those who might appear as allies is key to regaining your autonomy.   I also discuss the problematic narrative surrounding 'narcissistic abuse' and why it is important to recognise that the behaviour of 'flying monkeys' goes well beyond personality disorders. Join me and continue your journey of taking back your power!I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

 I'm Danielle Black, your Specialist Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, here to guide Australian women through the stormy waters of separation, divorce, court preparation and effective co-parenting. This bonus episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast is part of the 'Safe-Guarding' series, where I unpack the different ways in which you can safe-guard yourself from accusations of alienation, withholding and gatekeeping.Throughout the podcast, I emphasise the power of preparation and the importance of flexibility in thinking. I discuss the necessity of demonstrating your ability to consider alternative parenting arrangements, even in the face of family violence or post-separation abuse. It's not just about being heard, but also about how you're perceived, which can profoundly influence the recommendations in child impact reports - something that can have a significant impact on your overall outcome. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

The conversation in this episode branches out to the often-shadowed corners of complex PTSD, where symptoms can masquerade as other disorders, leading to alarming rates of misdiagnosis.   It's a frank discussion with Australian Separation & Divorce Coach Danielle Black on the implications that such misinterpretations can have within the courtroom, and the importance of receiving appropriate treatment and taking responsibility for your healing in order to influence the way in which you are perceived by others.    Also, healing trauma FEELS GOOD!  You deserve to enjoy your life as fully as possible, and this is what your children need from you too.  You can do it, but you don't have to do it alone.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

In this episode I emphasise the importance of consistent written communication as a safeguard against false accusations.  Whether it's setting up a new email address or using secure platforms like Our Family Wizard, these strategies can help you to maintain  your credibility and shield your children from as much conflict as possible.It's about more than just avoiding phone calls or responding on your own terms—it's about curating a child-focused environment.  I share strategies for using email to send regular updates on your children's lives, strategies for sharing their milestones, and the wisdom of scrutinising shared content to ensure your childrens' best interests are always in focus. You may not like communicating with your ex, but not doing so can leave you open to significant criticism, including accusations of 'withholding', 'gatekeeping' and the dreaded 'parental alienation' - especially if you end up in court.Take back your power and control and do what you can to optimise how you are perceived by others on this challenging journey!I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

As a mother who's trudged through the murky waters of post-separation abuse, I understand the tightrope walk of safeguarding children while facing the possibility of false accusations of things like 'withholding', 'gatekeeping' and 'alienation'.This episode shines a light on the credibility battles many women face when family violence surfaces in legal disputes. It's a candid discussion that hinges on the painful truth: the way a man treats the mother of his children often foreshadows his post-separation behaviour. Transitioning to and from supervised visitation can feel like navigating a minefield and I explore this delicate topic with an emphasis on the significance of professional supervision and other tools at your disposal, like hair follicle testing and BACtrack alcohol monitoring, to ensure the safety and well-being of your precious children during these visits. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

As a parent who might be battling to shield your children from an abusive ex, the fear of being slapped with accusations of 'alienation' is all too real. Embarking on the family law journey as a protective parent requires a delicate strategy, and in this episode I discuss how to utilise supervised visitation to your advantage. Steering clear of alienation accusations, while ensuring your children's safety, can feel like an impossible task but in this episode, and others to follow, I will discuss how to balance the act of being a protective parent while maintaining your credibility.Join us for me for the first part of this crucial conversation—because when it comes to  navigating separation and co-parenting with a controlling abuser, knowledge is not just power, it's protection.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Unraveling the complexities of 'alienation' in family law, this episode dissects the controversial concept of the debunked 'parental alienation syndrome',  and reveals the deep-seated biases that imperil protective mothers and their children in the Australian legal system. You're invited to join a critical conversation that questions the societal and legal insistence on preserving a child's connection with both parents in the face of abuse. This discussion exposes the systemic failures that endanger children placed in contact with abusive parents, and sheds light on the inadvertent yet troubling role that professionals may play in perpetuating this cycle.Host and specialist Separation and Divorce Coach, Danielle Black,  champions the abandonment of discredited terms like 'parental alienation', advocating for clearer language that truly captures the manipulative tactics of abusers and reinforcing the urgency of protecting both women and children post-separation. In Danielle's trademark 'no BS' style, and drawing from her own lived experience as well as that of her many clients, this episode serves as a clarion call for change.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Struggling to navigate through the stormy seas of separation or co-parenting with a controlling person? Inside this episode, I share the importance of carefully curating your inner circle and how to balance what you disclose to the outer circles that include work colleagues and neighbors. As a strategic separation and divorce specialist coach, I provide you with the tools to keep your ship steady, even when the current tries to pull you under. Listen in, and together, let's become stronger, braver, and more resilient against the tides of control and manipulation.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Navigating the labyrinth of family court post-separation can feel like a descent into the unknown, but I'm no stranger to this daunting path. I've lived through the turmoil myself and now I hope to shed some light on the key differences between Australian and American family law systems. This episode is a candid exploration of the fears and misconceptions that haunt many women facing potential court outcomes, and as we unravel the myths and highlight the importance of tailored legal advice, this discussion is an essential guide for those fearing the loss of parenting time. No legalese or jargon here; just real insights drawn from my experiences, conversations with clients, and connections with legal professionals.   It's a deep dive into the realities of the Australian legal framework, contrasting sharply with the narratives often presented in American contexts. Tune in for a compassionate, empowering perspective that encourages critical thinking over fear, encouraging you to maintain healthy scepticism when consuming online content about separation and divorce.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Navigating the stormy seas of separation becomes even more challenging when you're tethered to a high-conflict ex-partner, doesn't it?  In this episode, I don't shy away from my trademark honesty as I tell it like it is when you share one or more children with a controlling person.As your guide, I bring to light the often hidden realities of parallel parenting, laying bare the truth that working amicably with a controlling ex might be as realistic as finding a unicorn! This episode peels back the layers of what it truly means to parent alongside someone whose behaviours could echo the hallmarks of a personality disorder, such as narcissism. This discussion is candid, and I unravel the emotional threads that bind us to the hope of collaborative co-parenting - and how to cut them for the wellbeing of our children and ourselves.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

When you're caught in the throes of divorce and tasked with co-parenting, emotions can run high—especially when communication with an ex feels like navigating a minefield. This episode is a heartfelt guide to managing those complex feelings and finding peace amidst chaos.  I open up about my own struggles and breakthroughs, sharing the strategies that have helped me maintain emotional balance, whether it's through journaling or a therapeutic session of EMDR.Facing your ex in a co-parenting dialogue can be daunting, and for some, the urge to retreat is palpable. During this episode, I tackle why avoidance can sabotage not just personal healing but also the practicalities of legal matters.  Lastly, I take you on a journey through the landscape of 'felt safety.' Understanding how our perceptions can trigger a stress response even in the absence of real danger is crucial for anyone who's experienced control or abuse in a relationship. This episode doesn't just offer a perspective; it aims to be a companion in the search for improved emotional wellbeing and healthier relationships.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Emerging from the fog of separation, I found myself anchored by an unexpected philosophy: radical acceptance. This episode peels back the layers of this transformative practice, revealing how acknowledging our painful realities can liberate us from the energy spent on the impossible task of changing others—especially a former partner. As we navigate through Marsha Linehan's ten steps of radical acceptance, I share insights on how to discern what is within our power to change, and what we must learn to accept. This is not about approving of the situation, but rather recognising it for what it is, thus allowing us to channel our efforts toward healing and personal growth.But acceptance is just the beginning. By practicing radical acceptance, we not only come to terms with the things we cannot change, but also find the courage to rebuild our sense of self and embrace the joy of life post-separation - with each step towards acceptance, we're actually stepping into a world of newfound empowerment and joy.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

The latest episode peels back the curtain on the raw and heartfelt journey to reclaim autonomy and safety for those entangled in a web of control and broken promises. In this episode I confront the painful truth that abusers rarely change without significant self-work.  As a survivor and advocate, I understand all to well what you are dealing with when you are trying to decide whether to stay or go and I've become intimately familiar with the need to craft a careful and strategic plan when considering separation from a controlling partner. The episode extends an invitation for a free discovery call with me for personalised guidance.  This is more than just a discussion; it's an invitation to begin a transformative journey, supported every step of the way.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Facing the aftermath of a separation can feel like navigating a storm without a compass.In this latest episode, I unpack  tools and techniques that can help you to manage the stress and anxiety during these trying times. You'll learn how to identify and shift the behaviours developed in past relationships that no longer serve you, and the importance of setting boundaries to protect your peace and your children's well-being. I dive into the critical role support systems play, and why reinforcing positive changes can mean the difference between sinking and sailing smoothly through the rough waters of court and mediation processes.This episode also sheds light on the dangers of labelling your controlling ex-partner, and the power of healing and preparation for the legal battles ahead. I discuss the importance of seeking the right kind of support—be it therapy or coaching—that's tailored to your unique journey. You're not alone.  I'm here to help.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Curious about how the simple act of a better sleep routine can be the cornerstone of reclaiming your life, especially after the trials of an abusive relationship? Let's unpack this together!This episode is your invitation to a healthier you, starting with understanding the profound influence quality sleep has on our well-being. In addition to quality sleep, maintaining a balanced diet and staying hydrated might seem like basic advice, yet these are the foundational blocks that many of us overlook. Join me as I discuss why it's essential not to let our fast-paced lives whisk away the nourishment our bodies crave and deserve. From meal planning to carrying a water bottle, we'll discuss small, manageable steps that lead to significant improvements in nutrition, hydration, and yes, even your sleep. As we tackle these topics, remember that caring for yourself is a ripple effect—it's not just for you, but also for the little ones who need you as your family navigates separation, divorce and co-parenting.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Navigating the choppy waters of post-separation parenting isn't just about splitting time; it's about knitting together a plan that holds your children's well-being at heart. That's exactly what we're unpacking today—how to build parenting arrangements that serve the best interests of your little ones.In this episode I discuss the vital role of primary caregivers, dissect the logistics of transitions between homes, and tackle the thorny issue of maintaining a consistent home base for the kids. Delving deeper, I also address the nuances of overnight stays for younger or breastfeeding children and the delicate handling of past abusive dynamics in shaping a child-safe environment.It's one thing to draw up a parenting plan, but quite another to enforce it when faced with a controlling former partner. Recognizing the hurdles of modifying set arrangements, I emphasise the power of early intervention and the irreplaceable value of support networks. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Imagine having to navigate the stormy seas of separation while holding your child's hand—how do you break the news without capsizing their world? The latest podcast episode highlights the necessity of a child-focused conversation, along with exploring the emotional complexities for both parents and children.You'll gain insights into scripting this delicate dialogue and ensuring that your child's support network remains strong and informed through life's turbulent changes.Supporting your child through a family transition requires more than just love; it necessitates strategy, especially in high-conflict situations or when navigating legal proceedings. That's why I bring to light the importance of confidentially involving educators and other key adults in your child's life. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

As I draw from the depths of my own journey through family violence, post-separation abuse, and enduring the court system, I share a beacon of hope in this episode for those facing the daunting challenges of high-conflict separations. My experience has taught me the profound impact of mindset on the path to resilience and well-being, and I'm here to guide you through recognising the power you have within to influence your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, even amidst the storms of legal battles and co-parenting strife.I help clients  navigate the fears and worst-case scenarios that accompany these turbulent times, and in this episode I talk about the importance of embracing the possibility of a positive outcome for both you and your children. You're not alone on this journey, and with the right mindset and tools, you can emerge feeling not just okay, but fortified and ready for a new chapter. Join me, and let's affirm that you and your children can indeed thrive beyond high-conflict separation and divorce.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Ever been struck by the sinking feeling that your ex's lawyer-spun accusations of control and alienation might actually hold water in court? Today, I'm shattering the illusion that a fierce legal narrative is synonymous with success in the family law arena. With a dash of humor and a dose of reality, I unpack how aggressive legal letters don't always equate to a strong case, and why it's crucial not to lose heart when faced with such tactics.Today's  conversation turns eye-opening as we expose the unsavory truth about some family law practitioners who might prioritise lining their pockets over presenting the truth, facilitating high conflict individuals in weaving false tales of victimhood.Join me as I offer a beacon of reassurance, emphasising the importance of sticking to the facts and providing your legal team with accurate information. You'll come away empowered, knowing that while your ex might have hired a lawyer willing to champion any story for the right price, it does not guarantee them victory. This episode isn't just about debunking myths; it's about arming you with the knowledge and confidence to navigate the murky waters of family disputes with a clearer perspective and a steadier hand. So, tune in, and let's get to the heart of what really matters in family law: the facts,  and the best interests of any children involved.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Have you ever considered the hidden struggles within same-sex relationships, particularly when it comes to the often overlooked post-separation abuse among lesbian couples? Through intimate conversations with clients over the years, I have uncovered the persistent challenges they face, from complex control dynamics to emotional manipulation that doesn't cease with the relationship's end. These tales are not just narratives; they're the lived experiences of women who grapple with the unique difficulties of parenting arrangements post-separation. This episode sheds light on these issues, offering a platform for recognition to those within the LGBTQI+ community who feel invisible in the broader discourse of family violence.This candid discussion peels back the layers of control and abuse tactics that continue to influence parenting disputes, illuminating the often ambiguous division of parenting roles in lesbian relationships compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Stepping into the arena of family law, we explore how these dynamics affect the battle for parenting time. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Stepping out from the shadows of a high-conflict separation and co-parenting scenario with an abusive ex is a journey many dread.  I've felt the sting of regret for yielding too long to fear, and in this heartfelt discussion, I open up about the hard-earned lessons that can guide you to a future where you stand strong for yourself and your children.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

As a survivor of an abusive relationship, the journey through the legal labyrinth of family law was a battleground I never anticipated, one that many of you might be facing right now. In  this podcast episode, I peel back the curtains on the raw truths of navigating the adversarial legal system -  an arena for false accusations and strategic defenses, often leaving the protective parent feeling alone, unprotected and repeatedly victimised. In the world of the Australian court system, I also address the harsh reality for those ensnared in prolonged legal disputes fueled by an ex-partner's financial resources. For those of you navigating these treacherous waters, or about to set sail into them, I bring insights that could prove to be your anchor. Join me in charting a course through these challenges, providing the beacon of hope and clarity that is so very needed in such trying times.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Have you ever felt unjustly blamed for the strife in a high-conflict separation? In this episode I'm  tearing down the myth that both parties are equally responsible for the turmoil that often follows a divorce, especially when it comes to co-parenting. As someone who's walked alongside many women embroiled in post-separation battles, I shine a light on the realities they face, including the continuation of family violence they hoped had ended with their relationship. The truth is, these women are frequently on the receiving end of legal action initiated by their ex-partners, and it's high time we recognise and support victim-survivors, rather than perpetuate a cycle of blame.This episode isn't just about laying bare the challenges—it's about offering solace too.  I discuss the critical importance of building a circle of support, and I share how my group membership program is a lifeline for many women, offering a community that understands without needing the full backstory. For anyone feeling isolated, misunderstood, or weary from the fight, this conversation is a reminder that you're not alone, and the weight of dispelling conflict is not yours to carry alone. Tune in for a heart-to-heart, where empathy meets empowerment, and where your side of the story is not only heard but wholeheartedly believed.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Navigating the turbulent waters of high-conflict separation, divorce and co-parenting requires more than just a life vest; it demands a skilled navigator.   This episode is Part Two of my insights into the ten most common slip-ups people make during these stormy times, helping you steer clear of diving down unnecessary 'diagnosis' rabbit holes and the mirage of 'magical thinking.'   The journey doesn't end with living in separate homes; especially when children are involved.For those who are facing the shadow of post-separation abuse, know that support is effective at any stage. I stand steadfast in solidarity with everyone fighting the battle of high-conflict divorce and post-separation abuse, and my promise to you is my ongoing offer of transformative specialist divorce coaching.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Navigating the stormy seas of high-conflict separation and divorce can leave even the strongest individuals feeling adrift.Prepare to sidestep the common pitfalls of splitting from a controlling partner as we dissect the errors many make - from harboring false hopes of change to the missteps of trusting the wrong confidants. We're peeling back the curtain on the truths no one talks about, equipping you with the strategies you need to stay afloat amidst the chaos of a high-conflict breakup.With children in the picture, the stakes are even higher. In this episode we explore the treacherous territory of high conflict co-parenting, where emotional complexity reigns and innocent children are all too often caught in the middle. It's about more than just splitting parenting time; it's about ensuring that your child's well-being remains at the forefront of every decision. The insights discussed in this episode are half of the top ten blunders parents make in such delicate circumstances, with a steadfast promise to uncover the rest in our next instalment. Whether you're a parent braving these rough waters, or a supportive friend, this episode is a beacon of understanding in the murky depths of high conflict separation, divorce and co-parenting.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Stepping away from an abusive relationship is like navigating through a maze blindfolded; it's difficult, it's frightening, but with the right guidance, you can find a way out.  In this episode I discuss steps for those considering this brave transition.  The conversation is a deep dive into the world of separation planning amidst the turmoil of an abusive relationship, shedding light on not just the emotional, but also the strategic and practical considerations needed for a safe departure.This episode unfolds the layers of preparation required in the face of coercion and control, the type that makes your heart race and palms sweat when you think of leaving. We touch on the essential steps of discreetly securing your documents and valuables, to establishing private communications and financial independence. It's about understanding the unpredictable nature of an abuser when control slips from their grasp and ensuring the safety of children who are embroiled in this complex scenario. You'll hear about the importance of choosing whom to trust with your sensitive plans and how to document everything to uphold your credibility.Finally, we embrace the harsh reality of breaking free from a controlling partner, especially when they refuse to accept the end. Our discussion extends to include the invaluable role of professional support during these times, from legal advice to the support of a divorce coach. The choices aren't easy, from changing locks to potentially leaving your home to ensure your safety.  My aim is to empower you with the strategies that can help you reclaim your life with courage and determination. This episode isn't just a conversation; it's an ally for those ready to turn the page towards a safer, more peaceful chapter.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Have you ever found yourself questioning your memory or reality, feeling as if your thoughts and feelings were being invalidated?I tackle the subtle yet destructive practice of gaslighting in this latest conversation, where I bring my expertise as a high-conflict divorce coach to dissect the psychological manipulation designed to make victims doubt their own sanity. This episode  reveals the various guises of gaslighting, from the outright lies to the more insidious forms of minimising and blame-shifting. Especially challenging is the way these tactics can infiltrate co-parenting dynamics, leaving one partner scrambling to maintain a sense of truth. This conversation is a crucial one, as it sheds light on the long-term effects on those who've endured this form of abuse and offers a pathway to reclaiming their trust in their own perceptions.Escaping the orbit of a manipulative ex is no small feat, a truth many of my clients and  listeners can sadly relate to. The journey to reclaiming autonomy post-separation is fraught with obstacles, often involving an ex who masks controlling behaviors as concern or affection. I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Have you ever felt bewildered by the shifting dynamics in a relationship, where suddenly you're the one being blamed? This latest episode is a stark revelation of the DARVO tactic—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—used by abusers to evade responsibility and attack your reality.We uncover the chilling strategies abusers use to distort reality, assaulting their victim's character to protect their own fragile self-worth. This conversation is a must-hear, offering insights into the manipulative playbook that underpins abusive relationships.Navigating the treacherous waters of psychological manipulation can leave victims disoriented and isolated.  In this episode, we expose how abusers not only deny their victims' experiences but launch a counteroffensive aimed at reversing roles, painting themselves as the aggrieved party.   The impact on victims' credibility and support systems can be devastating.  This episode peels back the layers of these abusive dynamics, providing clarity and validation for anyone who has faced such bewildering and harmful treatment.  Join me, Danielle Black, to unearth the unsettling truths of DARVO and bolster your understanding of these complex interpersonal battles.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

My voice may crack a bit today, after an intense week of coaching sessions has left its mark, but the message I'm about to share transcends any hoarseness. We're addressing the heart-wrenching process of contemplating separation or divorce, especially when the specter of abuse looms large and the stakes are immeasurably high. It's a journey fraught with emotional complexity, requiring not just careful consideration but, at times, meticulous planning for those in situations of manipulation and control.This episode brings to light the harsh realities for those considering the tough decision to leave an abusive relationship, as well as unpacks the deceptive facade that can arise within couples counseling in such contexts. I'm not just talking about the steps to recognise and escape an abusive dynamic, I'm providing an anchor—a community of support for those who feel isolated in their struggles. This conversation is a testament to the strength and resilience required on the path to safety and healing.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)

Post-separation abuse and chaos at Christmas go hand in hand!So what is it about Christmas, and other special holidays, that seem to bring out the worst in high-conflict abusers?    dJoin me on this episode as we discuss the chaos that controlling and abusive people attempt to create during the festive season.I'm a specialist Separation & Divorce Coach based in Melbourne, Australia.I support women in the southern hemisphere who are navigating ongoing control and other forms of abuse after separation.To learn more about what I do, and how to work with me, visit: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au For more information about post-separation abuse: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/thank-youFor more information about separation planning (including a checklist):https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/separationplanningFollow me on Instagram: @danielleblackcoachingMORE SUPPORT (within Australia):1800RESPECT: 1800 737 732 Lifeline: 13 11 14 13 YARN on 13 92 76 (24/7 crisis support phone line for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples)