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Get tickets for Friends Only Live with Molly McAleer, Meredith Lynch, and Rob Schulte for May 8th in Santa Monica and June 25th in Boston “This is a PSA for people who peaked in high school.” Molls and Kristina Lopez (you know her as the producer of Plz Advise) dissect a Lifetime Original, The Client List, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. The ladies talk about the big, beautiful pageantry of the South, the cuteness level of JLH's kids in the film, and how Kristina would react if she had to bail Molls out of jail. Tune in for some LOLs and see where this landed on our rating scale! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chelsea and producer Kristina Lopez dive into all the glamorous and trashy headlines, from Brooke Shields' surgery without her consent, to Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni's court drama, to the news of three celebrity memoirs that no one asked for, to the many other cookie crumbs gracing our table. Buckle the hell up, Kristina and Chelsea hadn't recorded together for a month, so this is a big ol ep! Trigger warning: This episode discusses sensitive topics including sexual harassment. Take care while listening and find helpful resources here. Help Support Those Affected by LA Wildfires: Letters from Altadena: Wildfire Relief Follow Chelsea: Instagram @chelseadevantez Show Notes: Brooke Shields Received a “Bonus” Surgery Without Consent (The Cut) Hilaria Baldwin Memoir Announcement (Hilaria's Instagram) Justin Baldoni's Lawyer Releases Video of ‘It Ends With Us' Scene to Try to Disprove Blake Lively (Us Weekly) The Hilaria Baldwin Story: ‘I'm Living My Life' (NY Times) ‘We Can Bury Anyone': Inside a Hollywood Smear Machine (NY Times) Justin Baldoni Files $400M Lawsuit Against Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds Over Alleged Smear Campaign (Hollywood Reporter) Blake Lively talking about her blackface incident Bright Young Women (the book Chelsea recommends) Glitter & Greed: The Lisa Frank Story (Amazon Prime) Watch Jerry Springer: Fights, Camera, Action (Netflix) Jenny Jones Memoir Episode An Update on Our Family (HBO Max) How a Director Who Dislikes Musicals Came to Make ‘Emilia Pérez' (NY Times) ‘Emilia Pérez' is winning awards. Why is it causing controversy, too? (NBC News) “Emilia Pérez” is Not Good Trans Representation (GLAAD) Pedro Pascal desk calendar Kristina got for her mom Helicopter water drop compilation Where to find our guest: Kristina Lopez Instagram *** Glamorous Trash is all about going high and low at the same time— Glam and Trash. We recap and book club celebrity memoirs, deconstruct pop culture, and sometimes, we cry! If you've ever referenced Mariah Carey in therapy... then this is the podcast for you. Thank you to our sponsors: Visit Brooklinen.com and use code TRASH to get $20 off your order of $100 or more. Libro.fm - Click here to get 2 audiobooks for the price of 1 with your first month of membership using code TRASH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're putting a bow on our Christmas series with the sentimental and silly 1978 special, CHRISTMAS EVE ON SESAME STREET. Meredith's pick might just be the best of them all. From IMDb: Big Bird worries when Oscar tells him that if Santa Claus can't fit down the chimney on Christmas Eve, nobody would get presents. Make sure you're following Meredith Lynch on social media and check out her podcast Oddly Specific Find Kristina here Molly's stuff is here SUPPORT THE SHOW AND GET EARLY AND AD-FREE EPISODES ON PATREON Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chelsea and producer Kristina Lopez hold space for a few hot topics, from a viral “Wicked” moment to Megan Thee Stallion's powerful documentary, “In Her Words.” They reminisce about the “Golden Girls” moments that shaped their lives before diving into an encore of the episode on Rue McClanahan's 2008 memoir, “My First Five Husbands ... and the Ones Who Got Away” featuring guest Sofiya Alexandra. A must-listen rerun with a brand-new treat! A content warning: This episode contains discussions of sensitive topics, including domestic violence, suicide, and abuse. Take care while listening and find helpful resources here. Where to order Chelsea's book: Bookshop.org Find other places to order Follow Chelsea: Instagram @chelseadevantez Join the cookie community: Become a member of the Patreon Show Notes: Megan Thee Stallion's “In Her Words” documentary Megan Thee Stallion's 2020 BET Awards Performance Wicked “Holding Space” interview with Out Magazine TikTok - ScarJo Holding Space (for her Skincare Line) Tiktok - Holding Space at Mac Cosmetics “Wicked” Stars Ariana Grande & Cynthia Erivo Break Down Viral 'Holding Space' Interview (Variety) Betty White Memoir Episode Lauren Bacall Memoir Episode Lucille Ball Memoir Episode Where to find our Guest: Kristina Lopez Instagram *** Glamorous Trash is all about going high and low at the same time— Glam and Trash. We recap and book club celebrity memoirs, deconstruct pop culture, and sometimes, we cry! If you've ever referenced Mariah Carey in therapy... then this is the podcast for you. Thank you to our sponsors: Visit Brooklinen.com and use code TRASH to get $20 off your order of $100 or more. Libro.fm - Click here to get 2 audiobooks for the price of 1 with your first month of membership using code TRASH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
1995's While You Were Sleeping is Molly's pick for this week! After a quick summary of the movie (powered by AI, LOL), she and her co-hosts (Meredith Lynch and Kristina Lopez) have a loose conversation about the characters, the themes, lessons learned, and enjoy several tangents. From IMDb: A hopelessly romantic Chicago Transit Authority ticket booth operator is mistaken for the fiancée of a comatose patient. Support the show and get episodes ad-free and early on Patreon Listen to our bonus episode of Lifetime's holiday movie based on the romance between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, Christmas in the Spotlight Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Welcome to a three-part special Christmas series hosted by Meredith Lynch, Kristina Lopez, and your usual MMISWP host, ME, Molly McAleer. Each week, one of us gals is going to pick a holiday movie that speaks to our soul and the three of us are going to gab about it. First up is Kristina's pick, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. From IMDb: Kevin is separated from his family again when he accidentally boards a flight to New York City during a Christmas trip to Miami. However he crosses paths with the same burglars, who now plan to rob toy stores on Christmas eve. SUPPORT THE SHOW AND GET AD-FREE AND EARLY EPISODES Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chelsea and podcast producer Kristina Lopez dive deep into the friendship between Jennifer Lopez and Leah Remini by combing through the pages of their memoirs — “True Love” and “Troublemaker” — to find insights into their best friend breakup and now rumored reconciliation. Since our media landscape is lacking authentic female friendship break-up stories, they explore this one to the max: from the timeline of how J.Lo and Leah's bond unraveled to their glamorous shared moments at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' lavish wedding to the quiet rift that left Leah absent from J.Lo's high-profile wedding to Ben Affleck. Chelsea and Kristina use this friendship story to explore the beautiful, nuanced, and powerful love that can exist in female friendships — and what happens when that bond is broken. Where to order Chelsea's book: Bookshop.org Find other places to order Follow Chelsea: Instagram @chelseadevantez Join the cookie community: Become a member of the Patreon Show Notes: Jennifer Lopez Memoir Ep Leah Remini Memoir Ep Chelsea covers Bennifer's divorce Chelsea decodes “This Is Me… Now” Leah crashes Jennifer Lopez's interview Jennifer Lopez talks about living with Leah Jennifer Lopez cooks for Leah Where to find our Guest Kristina Lopez: Instagram *** Glamorous Trash is all about going high and low at the same time— Glam and Trash. We recap and book club celebrity memoirs, deconstruct pop culture, and sometimes, we cry! If you've ever referenced Mariah Carey in therapy... then this is the podcast for you. Thank you to our sponsors: Visit Brooklinen.com and use code TRASH to get $20 off your order of $100 or more. Libro.fm - Click here to get 2 audiobooks for the price of 1 with your first month of membership using code TRASH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chelsea and producer Kristina Lopez return with a jam-packed Cookie Jar episode, where they dish on Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's divorce, the “It Ends With Us” drama surrounding Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni, and the surprising cookie reactions to Anna Marie Tendler's memoir. Plus, get a little insight into the state of Hollywood, the “Love Island USA” reunion, and if Andrew Garfield's girlfriend is the witch we've all been waiting for. Where to order Chelsea's book: Bookshop.org Find other places to order Follow Chelsea: Instagram @chelseadevantez Join the cookie community: Become a member of the Patreon Show Notes: Jennifer Lopez This Is Me Now Decoded Jennifer Lopez Memoir Episode Anna Marie Tendler Memoir Episode Love Island USA Episode Chelsea's Memoir Episode Where to find our Guest Kristina Lopez: Instagram *** Glamorous Trash is all about going high and low at the same time— Glam and Trash. We recap and book club celebrity memoirs, deconstruct pop culture, and sometimes, we cry! If you've ever referenced Mariah Carey in therapy... then this is the podcast for you. Thank you to our sponsors: Visit Brooklinen.com and use code TRASH to get $20 off your order of $100 or more. Libro.fm - Click here to get 2 audiobooks for the price of 1 with your first month of membership using code TRASH. Visit Cheekbone Beauty and get 30% off your order using the code GLAMOROUSTRASH30! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Justin Timberlake ruined the tour. What tour? The world tour. George Santos signed up for Only Fans. Plane Jane declared war with Chappell Roan. Prince William and the kids stopped by The Eras Tour. Howie the crab molted. A mom goes viral on TikTok for invoicing another parent after a play date. Delta Work explores the term "ate." Our guest co-host for this week is bestie and podcast producer extraordinaire, Kristina Lopez! Tiffany will be back from her FIESTA next week and you'll finally get a week off from Molly's Get more stories and ad-free episodes by supporting the show on Patreon LINKS LINKS George Santos George Santos announced his Only Fans page. $29.99 a month. Justin Timberlake Justin Timberlake arrested for DUI Jessica Biel extremely upset about the arrest Satirical X account “Poo Crave” gets shut down after viral tweet Police report from the OWI arrest drops Video of Justin looking like he's high on some kind of substance at his first show since arrest goes viral CONSPIRACY THEORY: Artists are getting arrested to cancel their tours after lackluster ticket sales ClubChalamet explains why Timothee will never have a mug shot Prince William Prince William's Father Day post of him and the kids jumping over a marsh is giving AI Prince William and the kids went to Eras Tour for Father's Day Taylor, Travis, and the Royal Family Prince William dancing Howie Howie the Crab has her 3rd molt on TikTok Laura Porter (Howie's mom) shows off Howie's molted shell and explains it Howie is squishy after her molt Plane Jane Plane Jane shades Chappell Roan, calls her appreciation for drag “performative” Chappell Roan: A Refreshing Intersection of Sapphic & Drag Cultures by Emma Mudd Azealia chimes in on Chappell, Sabrina Carpenter, and Taylor Delta Work Delta Work discovers the term “you ate” Delta breaks down Vibes Follow us on TikTok, Instagram and Twitter Find more of Molly's stuff Find more of Tiffany's stuff
Celebrate Chelsea's birthday with a special Cookie Jar episode! Chelsea and producer Kristina Lopez unpack reactions to our Delta Burke, Margaret Cho, and Rebel Wilson episodes. Plus they sort out Barbra Streisand's Instagram antics, share their "Baby Reindeer" takes, and Chelsea dishes her birthday tradition to make the most goddamn wishes possible!!! We're going on tour in June! Tour info here! Where to pre-order Chelsea's book: Bookshop.org Find other places to pre-order Follow Chelsea: Instagram @chelseadevantez Join the cookie community: Become a member of the Patreon Show Notes: Delta Burke episode Margaret Cho episode Rebel Wilson episode Barbra Streisand episode Mariah Carey's “Happy Birthday” Oh My God Shoes! Chloë Sevigny parody Vanessa Wiliams' “Legs” Where to find our Guest: Kristina Lopez Instagram *** Glamorous Trash is all about going high and low at the same time— Glam and Trash. We recap and book club celebrity memoirs, deconstruct pop culture, and sometimes, we cry! If you've ever referenced Mariah Carey in therapy... then this is the podcast for you. Thank you to our sponsors: Tanteo Tequila - @tanteotequila Pattern Brands - @patternbrands Libro.fm - Click here to get 2 audiobooks for the price of 1 with your first month of membership using code TRASH. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We are unpacking the week that was with Amory Sivertson, host of the WBUR podcasts Beyond All Repair and Endless Thread, and Kristina Lopez, producer of Glamorous Trash. We discuss the reasons why women need more sleep than men, age gap relationships and “Stick Nation.” Then, Vulture film critic Alison Wilmore tells us about why women in action movies all seem to be doing the same particular stunt. She dubs it “killer gams.” ]]>
Join us for the first-ever Cookie Jar episode where Chelsea and Glamorous Trash producer Kristina Lopez talk about the buzziest pop culture moments (like J.Lo's new visual album This is Me… Now) and hear from the cookies themselves! We also share new thoughts on Crystal Hefner's wild episode and discuss how to make adult friends in 2024. Submit a question or voice note for a future Cookie Jar episode to hello@glamoroustrash.com! Show Notes: A video of Neil deGrasse Tyson talking about what he and Jlo have in common Glee talks about J.Lo not liking Virgos Jennifer Lopez episode Crystal Hefner episode Where to support and find our Guests: Kristina Lopez Instagram *** For more book recaps & gentle tea, follow Chelsea on Instagram @chelseadevantez Become a member of the Celebrity Book Club Patreon! Glamorous Trash: Where we make treasure out of pop culture garbage. Glamorous Trash is all about going high and low at the same time— Glam and Trash. We recap and book club celebrity memoirs, deconstruct pop culture, and sometimes, we cry! If you've ever referenced Mariah Carey in therapy... then this is the podcast for you. Thank you to our sponsors: Tanteo Tequila - @tanteotequila Pattern Brands - @patternbrands Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Jacqueline Barrientos, MD, MS, Laura Ortiz-Ravick, MA, Kristina Lopez, LCSW Recorded on November 3, 2023 Join us for this special episode, recorded live from the Florida Society of Clinical Oncology Annual Disparities in Cancer Care Summit. Guest host, Kristina Lopez, LCSW and Information Specialist at The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, speaks with Dr. Jacqueline Barrientos from Mount Sinai Medical Center, and Laura Ortiz-Ravick, Director of Outreach and Health Promotion at The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society about barriers and disparities within the Hispanic and Latinx communities when navigating the cancer journey. Learn more by tuning in here!
Founder & CEO of House of Puff, Kristina Lopez Adduci, talks with Catherine this week about bringing elegance and sophistication to cannabis usage, breaking the myths of marijuana use as a woman and parent, talking about SPV's (Special Purpose Vehicle - for founders to raise money for their companies), and also cross-fading! If you're high-stress or have anxiety, or even if you're curious, and especially if you're an entrepreneur, you'll want to listen to this episode for understanding, clarity, and inspiration for growing your business. House of Puff website can be found here: https://houseofpuff.com Women-Owned, Latina-Led Cannabis Business Catch Kristina Lopez Adduci on Instagram HERE Follow House of Puff on Instagram HERE Learn more with House of Puff about cannabis and its usage on their YouTube account HERE Special Thanks to the Adelphi Hotel for being our Launch Partner! ⇩ Find Catherine ⇩ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catherinehover/ Palette Co-Work Community: https://www.instagram.com/thepalettecommunity/ Paint and Sip: https://www.instagram.com/saratogapaintandsip/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This week, comedian and ‘Glamorous Trash' host Chelsea Devantez and podcast producer Kristina Lopez stop by to chat about the Senate's extremely chill new dress code, the slow death of paper checks, and the Roman Empire. Plus, the Nerdette Book Club pick ‘Loot' by Tania James is one of the top 10 contenders for this year's National Book Award for fiction! ‘Loot' is historical fiction at its finest. In this spoiler-free interview with the author, we talk about writing a delightful, propulsive plot that also deals with the legacy of colonialism. ]]>
Host Ruben Navarrette interviews Dr. Kristina Lopez, a trained psychologist based in Arizona who specializes in autism, especially in Latino and other at-risk children.
worst week ever winner : The Tuohy's Conservatorship best week ever winners : SUITS and Britney Spears Divorce *LINKS* Meghan Cutniff On Iggy Justin Beiber and Scooter Braun Split +Matt Bellioni Karli Kloss Entered The Era's Tour Bradley Cooper's Prosthetic Nose +Who Is Leonard Bernstein? +Rhapsody in Blue Lick The Star Movie By Sophia Coppola (my favorite) Taryn Manning Rachel Zegler is Getting Bullied Bethenny's Interview with Raquel Molly McPherson Take On PR of the Tuohy's Addison Rae New Song Barbie ,Beyonce and Taylor Swift Hot Girl Spending Summer Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus Release Song on Same Day +Miley Might Be in a Cult Scheana Shay New Song Apples Kyle Gordon, Planet of the Bass Keke Palmer Boyfriend Usher Music Video Gasolina by Daddy Yankee Music Video Follow Kristina's Twitter and Instagram!
Kristina Lopez Adduci is the Founder and CEO of House of Puff, a woman and Latina-owned brand that sells art-inspired cannabis accessories and produces educational content that makes cannabis consumption easy, accessible and chic. Kristina is an entrepreneur, speaker, art collector, and curator. House of Puff started with her conception of the cannabis consumption devices she wanted for herself. ===================== Links and Mentions House of Puff Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehouseofpuff/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/house-of-puff-inc/ Kristina Lopez Adduci Twitter: https://twitter.com/KristinaL0pez Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristinaadduci/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristina-adduci/ ===================== About Cannabinoid Connect Cannabis podcast about news, policies, tech trends, social justice, investing, cultivation, and the plant's environmental, economic and medicinal benefits. Website: https://cannabinoid-connect.com/ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/06g2V0Jee6Gp71zhfJzVk5?si=Bnd8e9WnSOewLLC_nZqKTA Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cannabinoid-connect/id1513621707 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9jYW5uYWJpbm9pZGNvbm5lY3QubGlic3luLmNvbS9yc3M%3D YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNNoKid-G1uBCHCAxpZVRNA Twitter: https://twitter.com/canna__connect Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cannabinoid_connect/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CannabinoidConnect1
There are a lot of reasons to take care of something — like a plant, or a car or a house. It can be a source of purpose or passion or peace or simple satisfaction. Today we're exploring how taking care of something can be a form of self-care. Host Anna Borges talks with Jené Etheridge — music producer, DJ, community organizer, and an avid cyclist — about how caring for her bike Butter feeds her mental health. Hey Mood Ring listeners, we want to hear what you think about Mood Ring! You can help us out by filling out a short audience survey: moodringshow.org/survey Follow Mood Ring @moodringshow Follow Anna @annabroges Mood Ring is a production of American Public Media and Pizza Shark! Full Transcript Anna Borges: There's this old book that I'm willing to bet at least some of you found formative. It's called The Care and Keeping of You. MUSIC And I hope some of you just went OH, THAT BOOK, but you know for the uninitiated, The Care and Keeping of You is this illustrated American Girl guidebook and it was the first real introduction a lot of us got to our bodies and how to take care of them. It covered everything from how to sit when inserting a tampon to you know proper armpit shaving technique. Legions of preteens referred to that book like a user's manual, myself included. You know, learning as much as we could about maintaining these weird changing bodies that we did not know the first thing about. Understanding what was going on with my body and like the ins and outs in taking care of it made me feel — I mean I don't want to oversell it but it did — it made me feel like confident and grown up and empowered, or at least more capable of handling the horrors of middle school such as like changing in the locker room and wondering why my boobs looked so much different than everyone else's. These days, I'm kind of still chasing that high if I'm honest. Like shockingly, huh-huh, taking care of myself as an adult is hardly as satisfying as The Care and Keeping of You once had me believe. MUSIC FADE OUT But as I grew up, I did discover that there are a lot of other things that I can take care of, other than myself, and some of them even come with the step-by-step instructions that I was craving. And it turns out, the care and keeping of something else can be as satisfying as the care and keeping of us. THEME MUSIC Hey, I'm Anna Borges, and this is Mood Ring, a practical guide to feelings even when you're feeling less than capable of taking care of yourself. I've probably said “care” enough times for you to get that we're talking about care today. Care for ourselves. Care for some thing. And caring for ourselves by way of caring for that something. If you haven't guessed, I'm on the lookout for something new to take care of because honestly I have not been that great of a job at taking care of myself lately. And sometimes, when we lose trust in our ability to take care of ourselves, I don't know, we need to find ways to prove to ourselves that we still can. THEME MUSIC FADE OUT At least, that's where I'm at lately. There are a lot of reasons to take care of something for our mental health, whether it's by giving ourselves a source of purpose or passion or peace or simple satisfaction. So what are we taking care of? There are the obvious suspects: things that rely on you for nourishment and support, like pets or plants or children. But we can also find meaning in caring for nonliving things too - things like our homes, cars, beaches, sneakers, closets — and in the case of our guest today, bikes. MUSIC Our guest today is a woman of many talents. Jené Etheridge is a music producer, DJ, community organizer and an avid cyclist. She tells us about her relationship with her bike, how she cares for it as she travels the world with it. And how it in turn feeds her mental health. Anna: I would love to just hear how you got into cycling. I just never really got into it. It kind of scared me, but what's your story? Jené: Yeah, so I was in college at The University of Washington in Seattle, and I just needed a way to get around. Also I had a friend um who rode with me like casually. We would go on casual rides and I told him I would have a new commute from U district to SoDo, which is like six miles. And he was like, yeah, I don't think you can do it. And I was like, oh, you don't think I can do it? and basically I was like, I'm gonna do it. It was like motivation for me to, you know, prove him wrong. Anna: My favorite type of origin story. Jené: [laughter] Yeah. This is like a theme throughout my life. It's like, if people say I can't do it, I'm like, oh, okay… Anna: Watch me. Jené: [laughter] I'm Gonna do it then. Yeah. So I just started commuting to work to work, that's how I got started. I just, you know, just did it out of necessity to start and then it just grew from there. And then when I moved to Portland, you know, it's like a really big cycling city, so it was really easy to get plugged in. And then I started learning more about Does this bike fit me? Like What kind of gearing works for the riding that I do? and, and things like that. So yeah. Anna: When did it go from, cuz it sounded like it went from like transit to something you enjoyed pretty quickly with all the sight seeing, but when did it become your thing or one of your things? Jené: I would say just you start craving it when you don't do it for a while. Anna: Mmm Jené: I also did have more community in Portland and I think that definitely helped me like realize it was my thing because it was mostly like women, trans femme, people of color in Portland who rode bikes, which is like a very small community, but they're very empowering and I would just be like, I don't know if I can do this. That sounds crazy. And they're like, yeah, you can. Why don't, why do you think you can't do it? You know? Anna: Absolutely. So speaking of the bike, tell me about your relationship with it. Jené: Umm okay yeah it's cream colored. I named it Butter because um. Anna: Ohhh Jené: The first time I rode it, I'm like, this is so smooth. Like butter, like - Anna: Perfect. Anna: If you were to describe what Butter means to you, how would you describe that? Jené: [laughter] Um I would say the feeling of like autonomy. Just being able to like leave and go whenever I want to. Jené: I don't know, it becomes an extension of you when you only have one bike for like everything, you know, your body gets accustomed to it. [laughter] Anna: I love the idea of like the bike is an extension of you. Jené: Yeah I mean you really have to be aware and just like aware of your surroundings. And so I'm trusting like my body a lot Anna: Yeah Jené: And also my bike to get me through like just to get to the destination. [laughter] Anna: Oh man. I relate to that in exactly one small way. Cause before this, I was talking to my producer about how, I had an opportunity to get ages ago, um, a motorcycle license and I thought it'd be like a cool thing to do. And I almost didn't pass the test because to swerve, you have to like throw yourself to the side. Like you're gonna like throw yourself down to the ground. And then like yank it back up. And so you can kind of like jump around whatever you're swerving around. And like I did not have that trust. Jené: Yeah Anna: I did not have that trust in myself to pull myself back up. I did not have trust in the bike to not just like—poooffffff Jené: Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You have to like lean your way into it. Like you really have to like trust. Your capabilities and the capabilities of the bike too, to just like get through these situations. But I don't know. It's like when you, um, do something kind of scary or dangerous and then you make it out and you're like, oh, okay. Like I know, um, I know that wasn't as bad as it looked or at least like I know a little more about how to, you know, handle the bike better next time. So I feel safer. That's a good feeling. Anna: I love that. So it's — now I'm just like Oh, you grow with your bike! I get, I get like, feels about like literally anything. Jené: [laughter] Anna: So, don't mind me just sitting here, like with heart eyes. But let's talk about care then. Like how do you care like how do you take care of your bike? Jené: Okay. Well, I mean like there's normal bike maintenance, right? Like you take it to the shop, you just make sure like the chain is looped up and all the, you know, components are working right. But I think part of taking care of it is like trusting other people to take care of it. Anna: Mmm Jené: Like having relationships with these bike shops, so basically when they see the bike, they already know they're like, oh, that's Jene's bike. And I think that's, like having that relationship established can help with the care process, if that makes sense. Anna: Yeah. Totally. And I'm like metaphorical, cuz if we're talking about, you know, taking care of, um, like things to take care of ourselves, trusting other people to take care of us too. Jené: Yeah. yeah. Anna: Absolutely. Anna: What does it what does it look like to travel with the bike? Does that require different maintenance? Jené: Yeah I mean I basically have to deconstruct the bike, so I have to like take the wheels off, like un- unscrew a lot of parts so that they can break apart essentially. And then they fit all snug in my bike bag. Um, and then I'll put it back together once I get to wherever destination I'm at. And if I can, I'll try and get like a tune up or just have a bike friend look at it just to make sure everything's running smoothly. So , but it's like, it is crazy. Like it's taken — it's broken apart essentially. I put it together myself and then I'm like, all right, here we go. And just [laughter] you have to like trust that all the screws are tightened and everything to start riding so Anna: Totally so when you're like breaking it down and putting it back together so much, is that a ritual that you enjoy or is it more kind of just something you have to do when you're traveling? THEME MUSIC Jené: Yeah I like it. It's like very empowering to be able to take it apart and put it back together and then just start riding immediately. Anna: After the break, we talk more about how Butter and Jené care for one another. MIDROLL Hey, welcome back to Mood Ring. I'm Anna Borges. Before the break, we were talking to cyclist Jené Etheridge about her relationship with her bike and how taking care if it helps build a sense of trust in herself. Let's dive back in. THEME MUSIC OUT Jené: Yeah feel like when I first moved to Mexico city, um, I didn't know anyone at all. Anna: Mm. Jené: When I got there, it was January, 2021. So we were like still in like pandemic, deep pandemic mode. Anna: Oh and moving to a new place during a pandemic too. Ugh. Jené: It was, it was so quiet. Anna: Yeah Jené: It was my second time in Mexico city, but it was, I remember I was just happy to be there because it was sunny and being from Portland in January, there's no sun. Anna: No. Gray skies forever. Jené: Yeah. Yeah. And so, um, I mean, I was kind of lonely. I would just kind of ride a lot, uh, in the beginning and Anna: Yeah like what was your relationship to your bike like at the time? Jené: So I moved there for six months in the beginning and for some reason I didn't bring my bike. Anna: [gasp] Jené: I don't know why. Anna: Oh my god Anna: You were separated from Butter. Jené: Yeah. And so being reunited, I was like, oh my God, this is like the best feeling. Nothing feels like your bike when you're riding, like it's just completely different. And, so it was just nice to finally have that and like be reunited and be able to take care of it and like, make sure everything was up and running smoothly. Anna: I love – and like something familiar when you hadn't found your people yet in a new city. Jené: Yeah, Totally. Anna: Oh I love that Jené: Yeah. Yeah. It was super fun. Anna: We were talking about how, um, just like the concentration that is required to be on a bike is probably the closest thing that I will get to meditation because then I can't be in my head, you know? Cause I have to like think of what to do and how not to die. Maybe that's a dramatic way of thinking of it, but — Jené: Mm-hmm yeah. I feel that for sure. You can really be out of your head when you're riding. Like I would say a lot of the, you know, the to-do list and every day small things kind of just, you can't be thinking about it cuz you're riding. Sometimes we're riding for like hours, but then you start kind of getting into this more meditative mode that's like just reflecting on things on like a deeper way, because you have less distractions. Like you can't be really looking at your phone, uh, once you get out of the city and you're just riding, you know, know on more secluded roads, you're really just like with your thoughts. And then also you, you get really close to the people that you ride with because you're talking for literally hours. Anna: I did enter, you know, with a hypothesis around taking care of things, being, you know, good for our mental health and I'm — how much do you relate to the idea that taking care of something can benefit your mental health? Like does that resonate with you? Jené: Yeah and it's like, I put it through a lot, you know, like we'll be just going on these trips in Mexico. You know, we take charter buses and you just have to put it in the back in the back of the bus or under the bus with all those suitcases and stuff. And so you're like kind of risking a lot or when I'm doing gravel rides, like you're just riding through this crazy terrain Anna: Mmmm. Jené: And maybe falling because that just happens like when it's rough terrain. And so being able to like to bring it back to life or just like, you know, travel with it and then get back home and be like, okay, Butter. I know I just put you through a lot. Anna: [laughter] Jené: We're gonna go to the shop, make sure everything's good to go. And then, you know, to be able to do that is nice. Um, and yeah, you're just like, you know, building a relationship in some way. Anna: I love that so much. I'm like grinning like an idiot. Anna: One thing I did want to ask, does your bike take care of you in any ways? Jené: I mean yeah It challenges me every time I ride it. Anna: Yeah Jené: I'm like focusing on making myself stronger. So yeah. At the time, yeah, Am I suffering? Yeah. Yeah. It definitely sucks. But most of the time I feel great after the ride, you know, and I never regret going, um, unless I crash or something but [laughter] yeah. I would say like, it takes care of me just through challenging myself and I'm having to trust this machine to get me like hundreds of miles sometimes to a destination. So that definitely feels like care cuz I guess it's the medium to, to travel and to get to the destination, um, in a way that's like a little more intimate than taking a plane or a bus. Anna: [laughter] Yeah. I don't think I ever wanna think of taking a bus as intimate in my life. Jené: [laughter] Anna: But uh, thank you so much for sharing and for having this whole conversation with me and letting me pick your brain about your bike. Jené: Yeah of course Anna: Thank you so much for, for chatting with me today. I almost want to get a bike, but probably won't be. Jené: No, I think you should. I mean, to each their own, like I said, but, um, I would recommend it definitely to anyone who just like, wants to get outta their comfort zone, explore places that you would never see by car, by train, by horse even [laughter] Anna: Absolutely. I'm sure there are plenty of listeners who are like absolutely. Actually going to go out and do this. Jené: But like, fuck the horse. I'm gonna get a bike. Anna: [laughter] Jené: [laughter] Anna: When I think of how empowered Jené described feeling by her ability to take care of her bike, I couldn't help but think of that like oft-repeated idea that you can't care for others until you care for yourself. And I know that's true in some ways but in a lot of ways I know so many of us who have the opposite experience too. Like, taking care of other things teaches us to take care of ourselves. Or you know, at least inspires us to. My cats remind me to take care of myself all the time—just last month, I remembered I was due for a visit to the doctor because little Francis needed to see the vet. And I was like oh I guess I need to see the vet too. The people vet. Meanwhile, one friend of mine always remembers to hydrate when she's watering her plants and then another pours themself into like keeping their Jeep in pristine condition whenever they're feeling like out of control or overwhelmed. All of that is to say, I like wouldn't be surprised if you already have things in your life that you take care of, even if don't really think about it that way. So if you're up for it, I have a challenge for you. Actually, hey, a challenge for us—I think I could probably use this right now, too. Alright. Let's think of something we've taken care of, past or present. Like pet, a friend, a plant, an inanimate object, a space, anything. Whatever it is, let's take one small way we've shown that something care or love or tenderness and offer it to ourselves, too. I'll report back what I wind up doing on Twitter and Instagram—my handles in the credits per usual. Meet me there and tell me what you tried. I look forward to hearing all about it. Until next time, everybody take care. Quite literally take care. Of something. Ah… THEME MUSIC Thanks for listening to Mood Ring, a production of APM Studios and Pizza Shark. We're a new show, so it really helps if you rate, review and share this episode with your friends. You can even tag me if you're really into it — I'm @AnnaBroges on Twitter – that's Anna B-R-O-G-E-S … because Anna Borges was taken. We want to hear from you. You can get in touch at Moodringshow DOT ORG and click “Contact Us.” Or follow Mood Ring Show on Twitter and Instagram. You can also call and leave us a message at 833-666-3746. Mood Ring was developed by Kristina Lopez. Our executive producers are Maria Murriel, Isis Madrid and Beth Pearlman. Our story editor is Erika Janik. Mijoe Sahiouni is our digital producer. This episode was produced by Isis Madrid. Our technical director is Derek Ramirez. And as you know, I'm Anna Borges and I write, host and produce this show too. APM Executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. And finally, our music is by Mat Rotenberg. Thanks again for listening, and I hope to see you next episode! THEME MUSIC FADE OUT
Host Anna Borges (The More Or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care), who was famously dragged on Twitter after making a few jokes in reference to mental health, revisits mental health meme culture and how it can be a useful tool to find community during dark times. She's joined by Memes To Discuss In Therapy admin Priscilla Eva for a discussion on “shitposting,” finding the humor in our collective struggles and how social media can actually breed compassion for ourselves and for others. We want to hear what you think about Mood Ring! You can help us out by filling out a short audience survey: moodringshow.org/survey Follow Mood Ring @moodringshow Follow Anna @annabroges Follow Memes To Discuss In Therapy on Instagram or on Facebook. Mood Ring is a production of American Public Media and Pizza Shark! Full Transcript Anna Borges: They say that everyone remembers their first time—I know that I do. Slowly waking up in the morning. Bright light streaming in through the window… …the sound of my phone rattling on the nightstand as a stream of notifications flooded in. MUSIC PAUSE, PHONE VIBRATION SOUND EFFECT Sorry, did you think I was talking about something else? Yeah, no, I'm talking about the first time I got absolutely dragged on the internet. MUSIC It was early 2016 and I was a writer at BuzzFeed. I'd been tasked with the challenge of finding a way to make mental health content shareable, and relatable, and viral. And that might sound like a ridiculously easy job in the year of our digital lord 2022, but it wasn't that long ago that the landscape of mental health content looked very different than it does today. Like on big mainstream websites, it was pretty much limited to serious and earnest personal essays and serious and earnest resource articles. And everything else was kind of like… you know… niche. Like it existed, but just in certain corners of the internet. So, I decided to try doing what I'd long done in my little corners of the internet, I joked about my depression. And it did not go well. RECORD SCRATCH, CROWD GASP, YOUNG GIRL SHOUTING “YOU NEED TO LEAVE” The roundup in question was “21 Tweets About Depression That Might Just Make You Laugh.” A quintessential BuzzFeed list that I thought would make people laugh, and, you know, more importantly, maybe make them feel less alone. And [laughs] man oh man, was I wrong. Instead, the comments and the emails and the tweets just came flooding in. SOUNDS OF CROWD JEERING Anonymous Commenter: “I feel physically sick after reading this. This post is horrible.” Anonymous Commenter: “You clearly have no experience with depression if you think these are funny.” Anna Borges: And, and I can't emphasize how mild these tweets were. You know, it was stuff like, “It's not called a nap, it's called a depression sleep.” And like, “I can't wait for my winter depression to end so I can get a start on my spring depression!” Just completely innocuous tweets that you would probably see seventeen of a day these days. And the comments just kept coming. Anonymous Commenter: “This is disrespectful to people who actually struggle.” Anonymous Commenter: “You have no business writing about mental health.” Anonymous Commenter: “Depression isn't funny. Period. It never will be!” Anna Borges: And I couldn't help but immediately panic and wonder if I'd made, like, some grave mistake. I was like, “Are they right? Was my chosen coping mechanism disrespectful and out of touch? Should I have kept it a shameful secret? What is wrong with me!?” Was joking about my mental health really so wrong? MOOD RING THEME MUSIC I'm Anna Borges and this is Mood Ring, a practical guide to feelings…even when some people think your jokes about those feelings are pretty fucked up. Every episode, we're exploring one new way to cope — with our feelings, with our baggage, with our brain, with the internet or with the world around us. Anna Borges: Today's episode is about laughing about mental health. Our mental health. Specifically, laughing about our mental health by following accounts we find relatable and making it part of our regular social media diet. Now to be clear, disclaimer up top, it's totally okay if jokes about mental health don't feel particularly funny to you. What makes us laugh is, you know, an extremely personal thing, especially where mental health is concerned. And far be it for me to try and tell people that they should find my tweets about wanting to die hilarious. It's not for everyone. All that said, I'm really relieved that joking about mental health on social media is way more accepted than it used to be. Because now, all of my feeds are full of reminders that I'm not alone, and they offer new ways to frame how I think about my struggles. And, I mean yeah, they make me laugh and laughing is great. So let's dig into why following mental health accounts is, you know, a small way to show yourself some love. Joining me is Priscilla Eva, who runs one of my favorite mental health accounts, Memes to Discuss in Therapy. And when I say memes to discuss in therapy, I don't mean wholesome memes that would make my therapist proud. I mean memes that would make my therapist like start scribbling a lot of notes. And by that, I mean total shitposts. You're good if you're not actually familiar with this whole mental health shitposting thing—the main thing you need to know is that they're the kind of posts that probably seem inappropriate or insensitive or dark from the outside. But when you are in on the joke? It's kind of like finding shorthand for the experiences that you thought no one else understood.So let's dive into my conversation with Priscilla. MUSIC FADE OUT Anna Borges: I would love to start by hearing from you, just for people who aren't familiar with the page how you would describe it, just to like anchor, anchor our listeners into like, what the f we're talking about. Priscilla Eva: It's just a meme shitposting page. And I like to say I specialize in curating and making memes for mental health and chronic illness. Because those are the two things I care about, mental health and chronic illness related things. And, those are the things that I find most resonant and like to share and repost or make memes of. Anna Borges: So can you give me kind of the origin story of how you started this page, and like what led to it? Priscilla Eva: So my friend Tyler, they actually started the page about five years ago. And they started it for the same reason, wanted to just basically shit post mental health stuff. [Anna laughs] And it started as a Facebook page that was just, you know, sharing with a few friends. And then they made it public. And so I started helping, about four or five years ago? Anna Borges: Oh, wow, I didn't realize the page had been alive for so long. I, I feel like a newcomer, like I'm a poser. I'm like, Oh, I've been a long term fan of memes to discuss in therapy. And it's like, oh, no, no, Priscilla Eva: Our growth only really, I think took off … a little bit before the pandemic started. [Anna: hmmmm] And I think the pandemic did a lot for people, you know, realizing that they maybe had mental health stuff that they wanted to address for just a plethora of reasons. Anna Borges: It's, it became more mainstream. Priscilla Eva: Yes. And so then we got even more followers from that. And then, we started the Instagram, so we could cross post. And, that's kind of where we grew to where we are today. Anna Borges: So before that, what was your relationship with social media like, or was that really when you dove full in? Priscilla Eva: Actually always had, you know, sort of flirtation ship with social media. I've had my SlyFox persona since high school, which was back in the MySpace days. Anna Borges: Same, same. I was a scene queen, you know, just being sad on the internet since 2004. Priscilla Eva: Yeah, so I've had my SlyFox persona since then. And I kind of use it as my, like, online posting alter ego. Anna Borges: I feel often similarly when I talk about my mental health online. It's like there's how I talk about my mental health with my therapist and my friends, and then how I talk about it with it online and that difference there, but, it's not, so it sounds like you're someone who has always been comfortable on the internet in some way. Like an Internet person. Priscilla Eva: Yeah, I, oh gosh. I was very into AIM back in the day, the instant messenger. Yes, and MySpace, all that. Had a lot of online friendships. So it's like people I actually know, which is parlayed into what a lot of my relationships are as an adult. There's a lot of people I know from school, college, you know. And now from, like, my chronic illness stuff, different walks of life. People I've met in real life, but we usually only ever talk online because I have my chronic illness stuff like, you know, during the pandemic, since I'm immunocompromised, couldn't go out at all. [Anna: yeah] So, that kind of compounded it. But there's a lot of relationships I have with people that it's, you know, just messaging each other back and forth a few times a week, sending each other memes. And I'm surprised how similar it is to the AIM instant messages I was sending in high school. Anna Borges: I am so glad that you said that, or so excited that you said that because literally, literally one of the things I was gonna, wanted to just share is that that is how it functions for me. Like my relationship to the memes, specifically, your page is one that I use a lot, is reposting them to stories kind of as an away message. You know, it used to be like emo song lyrics on my aim profile, and now it's like sad memes. And I just kind of like throw it out there to give people visibility into my sadness, so. Priscilla Eva: Yeah, just kind of like an update as to what's going on or what you're feeling. Wow. I really can't overstate how massively important platforms like AIM, Tumblr, MySpace… all of that were to those of us who needed a place where we could express in writing or in a safe way things that were really hard to express out loud. After the break, we'll finish up our conversation with Memes To Discuss in Therapy admin Priscilla Eva and dig into how her followers engage with her content. Plus, we'll talk about where darker mental health jokes fit into all of this. MIDROLL Hey, welcome back to Mood Ring. I'm Anna Borges. Before the break we were talking about how following mental health memes accounts and posting about things like our mental health and chronic illness has helped an entire community of people find a new way to express themselves and connect. So let's go ahead and finish up our chat with Priscilla Eva. And as a reminder, Priscilla runs the Instagram and Facebook page Memes to Discuss in Therapy. Anna Borges: Obviously, what we're talking about is how we use these memes to support our mental health or like how they might not be so great for our mental health and that whole relationship. So, in your experience, how do you see how people interact with your page and share or comment or tag their friends? Like what kind of behavior do you see most often? Priscilla Eva: One thing I absolutely adore about Memes to Discuss in Therapy and our followers is, now the ratio is much higher. It's like 99% of people who comment are really nice, they're supportive, or they're looking for support, you know. It's an interactive thing where we're all helping each other or feeling less alone. There's about 1% of people who are trolling, who are clearly just there to try to piss people off. And those people get blocked and banned immediately. So I try to keep them out of the comments. But, I find it so interesting that once I kind of shifted my, you know, personal posting from my personal SlyFox page, the memes page, still using the SlyFox, you know, me. But, just shifting the lens through, I guess, you know, what I'm letting society look at me as saying, Hey, this is a mental health page, and we're going to be supportive of each other. I still talk about all the same stuff, but it's just, you know, it's just on the top, you know, this is Memes to Discuss in Therapy. And people are a lot more supportive than I have ever found, you know, elsewhere in internet life. And that's pretty freakin awesome. I love it. Anna Borges: I love that, that both like doesn't surprise me and surprises me, if only because like, I'm kind of cynical. So I'm like, hey, who knows? People can be assholes about anything, including mental health. But, I do think a space where people can have conversations that they don't get to have elsewhere, even on other pages, like I, can be hopefully welcoming for that. How do you see your followers interacting with the memes? And like, if you had to guess the various reasons that people follow these accounts and what they get from them? What would you say based on what you see? Priscilla Eva: So we get, I have like multiple tiers of interaction we get on both the Facebook page and the Instagram page. There's people who are just liking and sharing and, you know, they never comment or anything. And that's great. If people are liking and sharing stuff, I assume it resonates with them, and that's awesome. That's the whole point. I love it. And then there's a lot of people who will comment and tag friends in their comments or a ton of people who will comment, say, like, Oh, I feel attacked, or if this isn't me, like, just really relating in the comments. And I love, I love seeing that in the comments. Because so often, someone will say, like, Oh, my God, this is totally me. And then you'll see someone comment underneath them saying, I thought I was the only one. There's a lot of stuff too, when I post about like suicidal ideation, or intrusive thoughts, like that's one of those things that our society doesn't like to talk about at all. And when we do talk about it, we have to put big warnings on it and say, This is really serious. We can't joke around about this. And I think for those of us who are at least me, like me personally, who deal with you know, intrusive thoughts or suicidal ideation on a daily basis. It's kind of hard to keep getting, getting the message over and over again, that something that's in your head every day is really wrong and like, something must be bad with you if, you know, you're having these things that pop into your head all the time. And that's another one that people messaged me all the time, or we get comments all the time, of people saying, oh my god, I thought I was the only one. And that's another one that I like to just say, No, you're not. Anna Borges: Nope. Absolutely. Yeah, this is resonating so much with me because I, I also deal with like, chronic, passive suicidal ideation is how I kind of describe it. And I wrote an essay about it a couple years ago, and still get messages that mean so much to me, for people who are like, I thought I was alone, I didn't feel this way. And I think it's a real gift to be able to joke about it with other people who get it. You know, and so like having these safe spaces where that will not be a red flag for one of my random followers just is so, so invaluable. I do often wonder, I know that this kind of thing for people who don't speak this language, or who might not follow these accounts and who might not know that you dealt with this before, but now see through your page that you do, like, have you experienced people expressing worry? Priscilla Eva: I, I personally have always been like very much an open book when it comes to my mental health, when it comes to my physical health. My mom was kind enough in high school, when my parents got divorced, she told all of us kids, like you each have to go see a therapist, I don't care if you go to one session, or if you go to 20 sessions, but like, I want to make sure we didn't break the kids, like, at least go and do just talk to a therapist for one hour. And if you never want to see him again, that's fine. But if you do, like, I'll pay for you to keep going. And she, I remember, she also would tell us, like, you know, one week in therapy at this age is going to be a year in therapy when you're my age. So like, if you feel like doing it, do it now. And so I totally took her up on that. And I did therapy for about a year, going weekly. And that was awesome. When I was, it was like, when I was 16 to 17. And it gave me a lot of coping skills that I think it usually takes most people into their young adult lives, you know, into their 20s or 30s to get, so I was very thankful for that. But because of that I was very open about my mental health, open about my depressive episodes and just open about, you know, what I was going through. And so for me personally, it's like, I don't think I scare anyone, cause they know who I am. However [laughs], I think there are some people that I know who have become more comfortable sharing about their mental health. Anna Borges: Oh, good! Priscilla Eva: Just like from interacting with me, interacting with the page, and they have run into that before where some of their like normie friends are like, Oh, are you okay? You're, like, sounding kind of dark or this or that. They're like, you know, I'm just actually exploring these feelings I'm having. I'm like saying them out loud or putting them out there for other people to see, so. Anna Borges: To kind of switch gears, one thing I did really want to ask is, it's not surprising at all, to me, but still so interesting to hear that obviously, your reach spiked, right around the beginning of the pandemic, when people were speaking this language. So I'm really curious what kind of things in the past two years, what kind of topics you see resonate most with your audience? Priscilla Eva: One of the big ones that has just like skyrocketed since the pandemic is social awkwardness. Lots of social awkward memes, and lots of social awkward conversations. But people like forgetting how to people because, you know, they only spend time with their roommates or their pets. And a lot of people talking about depression or loneliness that, you know, a lot of people are not comfortable or have not spent time like being by themselves, like, learning how to be a good friend to themselves. We've had a lot more people just talking about weird thoughts. I'd say like, intrusive thoughts, you know. During the pandemic, people are not in the routine of, you know, doing the same thing every day to keep their brain kind of distracted. So I think, like, a lot of weirdness crept in, but a lot of, you know, goodness, too. [Anna: absolutely] And, yeah, it's been interesting and cool to see all different people interact with that. Anna Borges: What's, what's really striking me, funnily enough, is, as you're walking through the topics, it all sounds so earnest, and like serious and wholesome. But for people who haven't seen the page, these are all topics that are discussed in a really hilarious way, you know, and [Priscilla: yeah!] I wonder if, if you had to sum it up? How, what would you say is like the magic part of exploring these topics, but in like, a hilarious shitposting medium? Priscilla Eva: The magic part for me is just the accessibility, because I think there's something about humor, especially something about dark humor, that allows us to laugh about things that, like, we're not even supposed to whisper about. And I think it's, sometimes it's that thin wedge in the door to actually open up a discussion about something. And man, I can't tell you how many people I know in real life, how many people I know through the pages, how many, just people who I've talked to who say, you know, I started looking into depression, or anxiety, or OCD, or getting on medication, or dealing with my eating disorder, all this stuff you know, it started with making jokes about it and reposting memes or reposting silly little stories. And I was just joking about it. But then I realized maybe I'm joking about it because it's something I actually care about. But once you allow yourself to laugh about it, rather than be scared about it, it opens up a door that you didn't know was there. And it allows you to, you know, really step in and explore those feelings in a new way. And for me, that's the magical part of it. And I just like the camaraderie too. I love knowing that there, you know, at any given time, I can post something on our Facebook or Instagram. And immediately we'll get responses from all over the world of people saying, yep, me too. [Anna: same!] I also experience that, like it's just nice to know that we are not alone. Thank you again to Priscilla for talking to me about one of my favorite things. You can follow Priscilla's page if you've decided this is something that could be for you either on Instagram or Facebook at Memes to Discuss in Therapy. There is one part of my BuzzFeed story that I left out at the top of the episode. Even with all of the negative comments and emails and tweets I was getting about that post, the, you know, 21 Tweets About Depression, there were a lot of supportive ones, too. People who related and who were thankful for the opportunity to see that other people related, too. They replied to the other commenters and essentially said, “Hey, just because this doesn't work for you doesn't mean it's bad. If you don't like it, if you don't find it funny, don't read it.” That's the rule of thumb I kind of follow here, too. You know, we have agency to follow accounts that make us laugh and make us feel seen and that give us language to describe our experiences, just like we have the agency to unfollow the ones that make us feel bad and just don't work for us. So I encourage you to get to know your mental health sense of humor and follow where it leads you, whether it's accounts like Priscilla's, or late night shitposting on Twitter (I tend to do a lot of that if you're not already following me). You know, weird bits on TikTok, specific creators that really get you … whatever genuinely makes you laugh and is a bright spot on your feed, cause there's plenty on social media that is not that, so the more you can feed in, the better. For those of you who do enjoy laughing about your mental health experience, I'm curious: What are some of your favorite accounts and memes? Because I'm always on the lookout for more. And I would love to get to know your sense of humor as well. So tag us in them, send them our way, check us out on Instagram or Twitter @moodringshow, and I'm looking forward to laughing with you! You can even tag me if you're really into it — I'm @AnnaBroges on Twitter – that's Anna B-R-O-G-E-S…because Anna Borges was taken. We want to hear from you. You can get in touch at Moodringshow DOT ORG and click “Contact Us.” Or follow Mood Ring Show on Twitter and Instagram. You can also call and leave a message at 833-666-3746. CREDITS Mood Ring was developed by Kristina Lopez. Our executive producers are Maria Murriel, Isis Madrid and Beth Pearlman. Our story editor is Erika Janik. Mijoe Sahiouni is our digital producer. This episode was produced by Jordan Kauwling. And as you know, I'm Anna Borges, and I write, host and produce this show too. APM Executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. And finally, our music is by Mat Rotenberg. Thanks again for listening and I hope to see you next episode.
Host Anna Borges (The More Or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care) is joined by Dr. Renee Lemus and Dr. Christina Rose–hosts of Las Doctoras podcast–about rewriting the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and rewiring the messaging that comes from the world about who we're allowed to be. Follow Mood Ring @moodringshow Follow Anna @annabroges Follow Las Doctoras podcast online at lasdoctoras.net. Mood Ring is a production of American Public Media and Pizza Shark! Full Transcript Anna Borges: Let's kick things off by reading an old journal entry of mine from freshman year of high school. And I guess that comes with all of the disclaimers that you would expect. [sighs] All right… I wrote… I need to get my shit together. It sounds so easy, but why have I always failed so miserably? I don't know how I let myself get so far behind, or why I can't delay instant gratification, or when I got so fucking lazy. I know what I have to do. Why can't I just do it? What is wrong with me? I know I only wrote that in freshman year of high school because of the date at the top of the page. Because to be honest, like, I've probably written some variation of that a hundred times over in the decade and a half since then. And maybe you have too? Berating yourself for something - for not being good enough, or fast enough, or a million other things. And for me, it was my inability to focus, to accomplish my goals, to function, basically, the way that I thought I should be able to function because it seemed like everyone BUT ME could do it. It was a recurring subplot in my journals for years. And then, eventually—like 15 years later eventually—I got diagnosed with ADHD. THEME MUSIC [laughs] So…yeah. Which, that cleared a lot of things up in hindsight. And while I felt some relief at having an explanation, I also felt this, like, sense of grief for this person I thought I knew. Like, how could it be that all of these core beliefs about myself, as unkind as they were, were suddenly just…wrong? What do you do when you discover you've been an unreliable narrator of your own story this whole time? Hey friends, what's up? I'm Anna Borges and this is Mood Ring, a practical guide to feelings—even when your feelings about yourself feel like cold hard facts. Every episode, we're exploring one new way to cope — with our feelings, with our baggage, with our brains, with the world around us. And with the unkind stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. And today, we're talking about how the stories we've told ourselves about ourselves can burrow their way into our brains and impact our self-worth and even our whole self-concept. And a lot of those narratives come from messages we get about who we're supposed to be, or how we're expected to function, or how our lived experiences fit the mold of what we're told is normal or acceptable or right. MUSIC After my diagnosis, I started to wonder, like: how many of us are carrying around stories that we believe wholeheartedly, stories that tell us we're not good enough or smart enough or talented enough or worthy enough? So this episode is about stories. Stories we tell ourselves and stories others tell us ABOUT ourselves, and how we can do the work to untangle it all. To help us with all that untangling, I reached out to Dr. Renee Lemus and Dr. Christina Rose. Together, they host the podcast Las Doctoras and run a writing course that seeks to help students decolonize their writing and use storytelling as a form of healing. Through their work, they help people reclaim their voices and rewrite their stories in a way that's authentic to them. MUSIC FADE OUT Anna: Dr. Lemus and Dr. Rose, thank you so much for joining me today! I'd love for us to just dive right in and start talking about these narratives that we have about ourselves and where they come from. Specifically, it can be this feedback loop, you know? Of … stories that we've been told about ourselves that we then go on to tell the world about who we are or tell ourselves about who we are. So kind of a big question, but how does the outside world and all of the messages that we receive from it impact our own messaging? Dr. Lemus: You know we're, we're gender studies professors, right? We're women's studies professors. We're always going to have that feminist perspective on things and add that lens. I think a big, we've always named that a big part of what we do in our classes is to give language to our experiences, right. But I think we live in a world that wants to say that if we experienced oppression, it's our fault. It's something that we did wrong or we didn't do something right. And I think, or, or wants to gaslight our experience and say, no, you didn't experience that. Like, that you're [Anna: yeah] you're just being too sensitive. And so I think we always come in to say, like, to validate that experience and say, yes, you experienced sexism. Yes, you experienced racism. And to give language to things that we already know in our bodies, right. And, and validate those experiences as some, and to know where to place, not the blame, but to place our frustrations. And so I think for us, we, when it comes to our story, we can feel empowered to tell our story, because we know that … we're not the only ones experiencing it and it's not our fault. Right. It's not, it's not a flaw in us that we can't meet every need of our household and our children, because the structures of society don't give us enough support to do those things! Anna: I, I, I work with therapists all day. So like, I'm like putting the answer out there as though I know it, but like, I imagine gaining awareness of these type of narratives and messages that you've internalized has to be this first step, because otherwise, how can you start to rewrite them? And so how, how can we start to gain that awareness? Dr. Rose: Well we're learning, I think to check in with our bodies, you know [Anna: yeah!] I think our bodies can really tell us those things, you know? I think that, you know, again, that narrative that would have us basically sacrifice ourself for any cause, anything or just, I don't know. For, for labor, for, you know, the common good, for religion, for family and all these things. Really takes a toll on our whole being. And sometimes it is our body that can, can really give us the, the truthful and not like not, or a real, like it doesn't. I say, my, my body doesn't lie. You know, it's like the, the book, that, My Body Keeps the Score or something like that. But if my back hurts, you know, or if my shoulders hurt, like, that's undeniable, it's like, it's kind, it's not like I can, from this air, you know, earthy air perspective, kind of convince myself. I can just think about my feelings, right. We were talking about that too. Like, I actually need to feel them. I need to cry. And that's, so I know when I'm crying or I know when I actually do some things for my body that could be movement. It could actually be like artwork. It could be like meditation, it could be stretching. You know, I think that's, that's where I know I'm doing, I'm taking at least the first step, you know, and when my body talks to me and I listen, maybe that's even the, the, the step before. Dr. Lemus: If we're tired, we're tired. Right. And we're going to, so I, I definitely think it starts with really just a lot of self-reflection. I wanted to say, I think another important part of this is like, where do we start is community. [Dr. Rose: Yes!] Who you [laughs] you, you've surrounded yourself with, because I mean, and, and I would say like, for me, there's different communities, right, that I'm in, and some give me this certain part that I need and this other, you know. But I think again, when you're in academia, right, or in any kind of, let's say mainstream or even corporate or whatever kind of environment that you don't feel is like your safe environment. You need somewhere to feel safe, where you can let go, where you can [laughs] you can call and rant and say, oh my God, I experienced this thing, you know? [laughs] Which is basically what our podcast is, is just about ranting about things. But I think community where you can feel safe, where they can validate your experiences. Where you have very similar values. Where you're invested in the same things and feel supported so that … you're not always having to be productive. Where you can pick up where each other left off. Because I have community, I'm able to validate my experiences more and I'm able to feel empowered in my story more because I'm not being gas- like society's gonna gaslight us all day long. So when you have a community and somebody to say, no, yes, you deserve to rest or you deserve … it's okay that you're angry. Then that just, ugh, it feels like you can, you know, rest a lot more. [Anna: oh!] Dr. Rose: I just want to name that that's intentional too, like, you know? Just, you know, society, or like the Western framework really wants us to be like an, like a disembodied head that just like, like does stuff, you know, produces things… Anna: …and questions our experience too. Dr. Rose: And also yes. And it wants us to be isolated too. Like, it's, they do wanna create this abusive relationship dynamic where you can't reach out to your community, like you should handle this alone. So I just think those messages are real. And I just wanna, I wanna know, that everyone to know that it's not, you, you know, and, and liberating yourself from that, you know, reaching out and to other people and, and, and to your body is, you know, radical, radical feminism. Anna: It's really stuck with me, the point Dr. Lemus and Dr. Rose make about how these harmful narratives we have about ourselves can fester in isolation. Because I don't know about you, but when I'm alone, I don't stop to question the voice in my head that says I'm defective. I don't think to ask, “Wait, who's voice is that and how did it get in there?” And when those thoughts go unchallenged for long enough, that's when they become part of the story I tell myself about myself. After the break, we'll talk about what it means to rewrite our stories—especially when we've believed a different narrative for so long. MIDROLL Anna: Hey, welcome back to Mood Ring. I'm Anna Borges. Before the break, we were talking to Dr. Renee Lemus and Dr. Christina Rose about rewriting the self-destructive stories we tell ourselves. Let's get back to it. Anna: I like to say in therapy and like, you know, when we talk about stuff like narrative therapy, for example, which is kind of like the brain process that I, I, I followed for this episode, but. I like to say when my therapist and I talk about doing this kind of exercise of like rewriting my story, I get super overwhelmed, trying to figure out, I'm like, which part of my story, whose story, what, what does rewriting it mean? How do I write my story? Dr. Lemus: Yeah, this is, this is where, I mean, we would say, this is where ceremony comes in. This is where, writing is the small part of it, right. It's to say, first, you have to be present in your body. Right. So whatever that means to you, whether it's meditation, whether it's dancing, whether it's… doing some art, like, whatever that looks like to you, that it means to be present in your body. Kind of letting go of [Dr. Rose: past] you know, all the other things. Yeah. And just being in the moment. So part of my meditation practice, and part of something that Christine and I do in our courses, in our meditation or our like grounding centering practices is to call in our ancestors, is to call in whatever spiritual guides, you know, you're down with. And, or even calling in our inner child. [Anna: yeah] Calling in our higher self. Right. All of those, all the parts of us that sometimes we forget. Our imagination. Like, that's a big thing that we do in our courses is we think that … [Dr. Rose: Intuition] Intuition, like we think, like kids are so imaginative they're so in their imagination. And then at some point we let that go, cuz we think we have to be realistic. And so we're like, how can we tap back into that? And so it's, it's yeah. It's getting centered, you know, calling in maybe whatever spiritual guides you have. And then just kind of, yeah. I start just asking myself, like, if I was interviewing myself, like, how's it going today? Or, you know, or maybe I am pissed about something and just like ranting. And, and what that does. And again, something else we do in our course, is we do like these warm up writing activities, just write without thinking. And many, I mean, you can, you can look up prompts, online, whatever. And in doing that, it gets those juices flowing. And then what you really want to write about kind of comes through, but it's hard to do that when you're like sitting cold, right. You're like, I'm gonna go write. And you're sitting there and you're like nothing's happening, right. Or I don't know what to do or- Anna: Or why can't I run this marathon right now? [laughs] Dr. Lemus: Yeah. And so it's to say like, give yourself grace, you know, it doesn't have to be perfect. Just kind of literally just write anything, anything. Sometimes I will even read something and I'll like rewrite just to have that … that somatic experience of writing something, even if I'm like quoting another book. And then once my body starts getting going, I, my, my voice starts to come out. Dr. Rose: And it doesn't have like an end goal either. Like I was even thinking, you could begin with recording your dreams, you know, in some way [Anna: ah that's a great place to start] You know, cuz I think, or even just listening, listening to your dreams, you know, and waking up and it could be, it could be like a journal. It could be written down or you could just voice memo it, like this is what I dreamed, you know, like that's a beautiful, that's a beautiful space of listening and hearing and listening and writing, you know, recording. Anna: Love that. So we've been talking about writing and now I would like to talk about metaphorically rewriting because for me, like I'm a big journaler and what I, what I've been thinking about a lot lately is when I journal that's often the first time I'm telling my story to myself, you know, it's like seeing my own thoughts in black and white and conversing with myself. And I also like to reread my journals a lot and going back and saying like, oh, okay, like, this is how I thought about this at the time, sometimes it's changed. And sometimes I'm like, oh, that is how I thought about it at the time. And how it's, I've been thinking about it ever since. And like, I would like to rethink about this thing that I was telling myself. And so I'm curious if you have any sort of like, if that shows up in like in your work, in like a literal way too, like how you literally rewrite or retell your stories yourself when you found out that the first one was not the story that you wanted to tell yourself. Dr. Lemus: I think it's just having grace for your own growth. Like grace is such a big theme for us is just like really giving yourself permission to just be where you're at now. I, that's what I tell my students. I say, wherever your relationship is with, you know, whatever, like the world it's, you know, it's not gonna always be like this. It's going to evolve. It's going to change and that's okay. You know, even your identity, right? Your relationship with your identity, that's gonna change. That's going to evolve. Nothing is stagnant. And so I think just giving yourself grace for what your story used to be. And, and, I was telling some of my students cuz we were rounding up the semester and they were like, oh I think I'm too confrontational. Cuz I, I'll call people out on too much. And I'm like, I'm too much. Anna: Oh, big narrative I see a lot. Dr. Lemus: And I tell them one, you're not too much. Two, I said, I was like that when I was in my twenties and I am much more discerning now of where I put my energy, but I am so grateful to my 20 year old self for being so confrontational with people because it allowed me to set boundaries. So I think it's like, yes, I have evolved. But I'm also really grateful for those times, those things that I did, or even those stories that I would tell myself because it helped me to, to evolve, right. Those, because I got those stories out of me, then I was able to like make room to process and grow. Anna: What's so funny is that's I think the process I go through when I reread by journals, you know, I think, I think of my past self in a certain way, usually like a not very nice way and like rereading how I was telling myself the story and the time, now that leads me to like that kind of thing. Like, oh, okay. Well my new story is like, no, I didn't used to be like XYZ, negative thought. There are too many to pick from right now, you know, it was actually this. So, Christina, what would you add? Dr. Rose: I was thinking of the danger of the single story, you know, this sense of that. And, and I'm, again, this world that we were raised in believes that even like we only have one narrative going on in ourselves, you know… Anna: Multiplicity who? We are one, never changing person. Dr. Lemus: Right, monolithic. Dr. Rose: And one of the exercises that we often do is, we, week six or something in our, you know, eight week course, we'll take a look at something we wrote in week one or two. And we'll look at it from a perspective of, like, a loving adult, which we are, you know [laughs] you know, coming to that, coming back to a piece of writing from a place of grace, I love that love. And as, and, and as if we were, you know, the, the parent of the person who wrote that or the caretaker or the abuela or the elder, you know, but from a place of the love that we give to other people, you know, the love we give to those that we take care of. And so I think that's a, so that … exercise is such a shift in perspective for me too, you know, because yes, when I do go through my journals, I don't do it annually. I do do it like, probably every seven years or so. And it is a big deal and I do cry and it is, you know, it is, and it's beautiful. And it's also like heartbreaking. I'm like mija, like what the heck were you giving your energy to that person? Like, like no more, you know, it's, it's a big lesson, you know, for me. And um, and I do try to make it a ceremony too, you know, because I need, in order to come from a place of love, often I need my guides, I need my ancestors. I need the spirit world to be like around me, those who love me, you know? So that's what I would add. Anna: Before we wrapped, I was going to ask if someone was listening and just was like raring to go start scribbling where they would start. But I, I love both of the things that you just outlined, whether it's expanding on something with curiosity or writing to, to your younger self, your inner child. Those both sound like great places, so unless you have something else that you would suggest to our listeners for like one last writing prompt, Dr. Lemus: One last one last writing prompts is to like, do an outline of a children's, like a children's book where you're the main character, right? Like, and what would her superpowers be or their superpowers be and what would their environment be like? And yeah. Anna: Ahhhh! That is, is so good. I, I wanna go do that like right now, but this has been such an amazing conversation. I wish it could go on for like two more hours. So thank you for, for joining me today and talking about some of my favorite things and sharing some of your beautiful insights that I wanted to go write about now. So. Dr. Lemus: Thank you. Thank you for having, for having us. Anna: There's a reason I think of my later-in-life diagnosis when I think of the importance of rewriting my story or how I tell my story. It's that, like, our understanding of ourselves is always changing. Or like Dr. Rose said, we don't only have one story. We're made up of stories, past and present, and rewriting isn't about like denying the truth of our experiences at the time or correcting ourselves in retrospect—it's about releasing the false narratives that we're still holding onto as true, you know, so we can make room for the stories we want to tell. And… I mean, I don't know about you, but I think the next story I want to try telling is that children's book Dr. Lemus was talking about. So…who else is in? THEME MUSIC CREDITS Thanks for listening to Mood Ring, a production of APM Studios and Pizza Shark. We're a new show, so it really helps if you rate, review and share this episode with your friends. You can even tag me if you're really into it — I'm @AnnaBroges on Twitter – that's Anna B-R-O-G-E-S … because Anna Borges was taken. We want to hear from you. You can get in touch at Moodringshow DOT ORG and click “Contact Us.” Or follow Mood Ring Show on Twitter and Instagram. You can also call and leave us a message at 833-666-3746. Mood Ring was developed by Kristina Lopez. Our executive producers are Maria Murriel, Isis Madrid and Beth Pearlman. Our story editor is Erika Janik. Mijoe Sahiouni is our digital producer. This episode was produced by Jordan Kauwling. And as you know, I'm Anna Borges and I write, host and produce this show too. APM Executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. And finally, our music is by Mat Rotenberg. Thanks again for listening, and I hope to see you next episode! MUSIC FADE OUT
Anna Borges interviews notOK app creator Hannah Lucas about how to get help during intense mental health moments. The conversation covers how the app works, how communication can deepen trust, and how it can be challenging to voice our needs. Follow Mood Ring @moodringshow Follow Anna @annabroges Mood Ring is a production of American Public Media and Pizza Shark. Full Transcript Anna Borges: There's a word people associate with me a lot: vulnerable. Like, my work is vulnerable and thank you for being so vulnerable. And honestly? It couldn't be further from the truth. I SUCK at being vulnerable. If that's surprising to hear, it's not just you. I didn't know that about myself for a really long time. My therapist was kind of the first one to float the idea and I didn't really buy it. She kept at it, though. She was not gonna take no for an answer. At some point in our work together, she looked at me and said, “You talk openly about vulnerable things, but is that the same as actually being vulnerable?” THEME MUSIC My therapist wasn't impressed by my ability to write an essay about wanting to die or to tweet my way through a depressive episode. She wanted to know: Did I ever reach out to a friend when I was feeling suicidal, or did I only tell them about it when I got through the worst of it alone? Did I cry in front of other people? Like really cry? Did I let people sit with me when I was too depressed to talk, just because I needed company? Did I ask for help? That's the kind of vulnerability I struggle with—because honestly? Vulnerability, in my opinion, is exposing whatever is toughest to expose. And that's what's tough for me. And whether or not you struggle with it too, or another kind of vulnerability, I figured we could all use a little guidance around how to actually ask for support when we need it. Hey I'm Anna Borges and this is Mood Ring, a practical guide to feelings, even when those feelings are big and scary and you really want someone there with you. Every episode, we'll explore one new way to cope — with our feelings, with our baggage, with our brains, or with the world around us. Reaching out to a loved one when you need support is the type of advice you hear everywhere. We know that's what we're supposed to do, but a lot of us just can't get ourselves to do it, or don't know how. Sometimes, instead of psyching yourself up to send the text or figuring out what to say in the first place, it can just feel easier to weather the storm by yourself. So that's why I wanted to talk to today's guest. Hannah Lucas is the co-creator of the notOK app. She worked with her brother Charlie to make it easier for people to reach out to loved ones when they're, well, “not okay”. And we'll get more into how the app works in our conversation, but for now I'll say: It's exactly the kind of thing that I need and what today's episode is all about: Finding ways to ask for help without actually having to ask for help. Anna: Hey Hannah, I'm so excited to chat. Hannah: Hey! Anna: So you created an app with your brother, so for our listeners who haven't heard of it or aren't familiar, can you just give us a little bit of history there and tell us about how it works? Hannah: So the notOK app is essentially a digital panic button. That when pressed it alerts the user's up to five preselected trusted contacts that the user is not okay and needs help, along with the user's GPS location, just in case the trusted contacts need to physically go get them. Anna: Absolutely, and what inspired you to create it? Hannah: I came up for the idea for the app when I was a freshman in high school, I had just been diagnosed with a chronic illness called POTS. It stands for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. And because of this, I was passing out all the time. I was being bullied, harassed, the whole nine. And it just made me spiral really deeply into depression and anxiety. Until one night I just, I couldn't handle the pressure anymore and I had a suicide attempt, but luckily my mom saved my life that night and I'm forever grateful for that. And that's when I knew, I desperately needed a tool to take my independence back from my chronic illness and my mental illness. Anna: Thank you for sharing that, first of all. And I'm, I'm so glad as someone who deals with suicidal ideation and self-harm a lots always- nice isn't the word to hear, like to connect with other people who, who can relate. Like it's not nice because I hate that we can relate– Hannah: It's comforting. Anna: But it's comforting. Exactly, exactly. So if someone wanted to use the notOK app, when kind of do they use it, what kind of moments is it for? Hannah: The notOK app is a crisis tool as well as pre-crisis, my therapist and I, we like to put it this way. I rate my stress and anxiety on a scale from one to 10, one being the lowest, 10 being I need emergency services right now. So when I feel myself building up about a four or five and I just feel it rising higher and higher, I normally press the button. So it doesn't always have to get to a crisis point. But of course crises do happen, every once in a while. So the notOK app is here for that. It's here for those tough moments where you don't know the words to say, but you need help. Anna: So I loved what you said about how it can be really, really hard to find the literal words. Why, why, it's a big question, but like why, why is it so hard?! Like, like you, you, as you say, like, we are kind of in this … cultural moment where there is, I think a little bit more mental health literacy going around. Like we have a little bit more vocabulary, like not quite everything, but at least on social media, like but in the moment, in the moment, why is it so hard to reach out and to say, Hey, I'm not okay. Hannah: Let's face it, mental illness lies. It tells you that you're not worthy. It tells you that nobody around you cares, that you don't have people around you. So mental illness really just shuts you up and it is so difficult to break that, that silence. So I just wanted to make it as easy as possible, because sometimes it's just like, I'm sitting here and like, I'm so overwhelmed and I'm so stressed out and I'm like, I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. You know, I don't wanna be a burden. Anna: I'm so glad you said that because one of my, perhaps more embarrassing personal questions, is if you have any tips or guidance or solidarity for people who are nervous about asking people to be their trusted contact in the first place, you know. I feel like my, my brain goes, no, you're a burden, you don't wanna like ask them to be your go-to person. That's too much. Like how do I shut that up? Hannah: So whenever I add someone new as a trusted contact and I feel just, I just feel so anxious and I feel so nervous about it. I'm like, what if they say no, this is a big responsibility. I don't wanna be a burden. But then I honestly think to myself, what would happen, like if I just wasn't in that person's life anymore? And I know that's a bad way to think about it, but it's like thinking logically about it. There would be a hole in their life, you know. Like all of my relationships, I try to keep it 50/50. So, you know, just for healthy boundaries and everything. But it's like, they would miss me, you know, like they're choosing to be in my life, they're choosing to be my friend. They're choosing to be my support. So of course, you know, they would be okay with being a trusted contact, you know, they're already putting themselves in that position for me. Anna: Absolutely. And have you found that asking them or hitting the button and reaching out to them has brought you closer with any of your trusted contacts? Hannah: Oh, definitely. I have to say my favorite feature of this app is when you go and initially add a trusted contact, the trusted contact actually gets a text message that says, “Hey, so and so added you as a trusted contact for the notOK app.” And it gives them resources, and it tells them what a trusted contact is, and it tells them the responsibility and how to help the user. Which really is incredible on so many levels [Anna: yeah!] because a lot of people don't even know that their friends are struggling. And this opens up the conversation to say, “Hey, how can I be here for you?” You know, “how can we be there for each other? What's going on? You know, you don't always have to be perfect. It's okay. You know, your flaws are what make you beautiful.” Anna: Yeah, oh, I love that it opens up a conversation because I, I wanted to ask, like, do you have any tips around how you might approach that conversation? Hannah: Be vulnerable. It's the most difficult thing to do. But it's the most rewarding thing you can ever do in your life is just being vulnerable with the people who care about you. I'm not saying spill all of your secrets! [laughs] But it is okay to show them a softer side of you, you know? I don't wanna use the word damage, but … a side of you that isn't so perfect, you know, give them that chance to love those flaws of yours, you know. After the break, we'll talk more with Hannah about coping with her peers and keeping it real. THEME MUSIC FADE OUT MIDROLL THEME MUSIC FADE IN Hey, welcome back. I'm Anna Borges and this is Mood Ring. We're talking to Hannah Lucas about the app she helped create which is sort of a digital panic button and that helps you reach out to trusted friends and loved ones when you need support. Anna: So you're, you're gen Z. Like, so just, I was just talking to my producer, Georgie, about how, you know, when I was growing up on the internet, like the life that I was putting out there, you know, like on Instagram or on Twitter was definitely like a better view of my life, but I never felt the pressure for like perfection. Hannah: Yeah, exactly. But it's like, I was striving so hard for, for perfection. And it's like, all you see on social media is those perfect moments. You know, you don't see those flaws. You don't see them being who they are. You see these little bits and snippets of their life. And it's like, my life isn't as exciting. You know, I'm not as pretty, I'm not as skinny, you know, I'm not as fit, you know? It's just all those, it was a lot, it was a lot. Anna: I wanna stick on like vulnerability for a second because I, I really love that. I'm curious how you're seeing in your social spaces on social media or IRL, this move toward more vulnerability. Are you seeing it in your circles or is it something that you've really introduced to them? Hannah: You know, that's an interesting question. I think it's a little bit of both. My view on technology and social media it's changed drastically, but now I view it as more of a black mirror. You can find anything and everything on the internet, but it's a reflection of what you wanna see. Like, are you making the choice to follow these people who positively impact you, or are you following all the gossips and the drama and things that are just going to feed you negative energy, 24/7, you know? And with my friend group … I'd say that it was kind of difficult for my friends to be real. Like, I don't even wanna say vulnerable, but, just be real with everyone and even themselves with what's going on. But, it started with a conversation. We all had to have like a little group talk, on how we can do better and be better people and really grow. And it, at the end of the day, we all had to make a choice, you know, are we going to choose to be a little bit more vulnerable? Or are we gonna strive for the impossible perfection? Anna: But I would love to ask about, kind of what comes after asking for help, because for me, one of, one of the things that's hard about asking for support or even getting asked for help is like, how you do that? You know, like, like literally, and I know it's different situation to situation, but do you have any tips for giving your loved ones guidance on the best way to support you in these moments of need? Hannah: Everybody's different. But I will say have that honest trust, that honest conversation with your trusted contacts, when you first add them as a trusted contact. Work with them to figure out and create a safety plan for what to do when you're in these situations. Figure out coping mechanisms to bring you down … you know, when you've, when you feel the pressure rising. Anna: I am curious if like, do you have, what are some of your hopes for the future of this kind of support and communication and being able to talk about mental health? Hannah: Honestly my dream is that this app helps people realize that mental health and mental illness isn't that big of a deal. And what I mean by that is just treating it immediately when you see the signs, you know, you don't have to deal with the stigma. Just go get help, cause that's the most important thing. Anna: Absolutely. And I'm so glad that that is changing. Hannah: Yeah, it's about time. [Laughs] Anna: Well, Hannah, thank you so much for chatting with me today. It's been, it's been a blast. Hannah: Thank you so much for having me. CHIMING MUSIC Anna Borges: There may never be a quick and easy way to make the terrifying ordeal of letting other people in less terrifying, but Hannah did find a way to help skip some of the most intimidating steps. I'll be honest. I'm still in the early stages of even considering using something like the notOK app. But I'm taking baby steps to ask for help in my way. For example, I went through a period pretty recently where I was not okay. And when I was in it, I withdrew from my friends like usual. But this time, when I rejoined the land of the living and told a friend about what happened, I also decided to try saying something like: “Hey. I don't ask for help when I need it because it's hard, but it's something I'm working on so if you notice me isolating, I would really appreciate you reaching out.” For now, that's my version of the notOK app—asking my friends to help me out so I don't have to ask for it. Baby steps. And maybe there are baby steps that would work for you, too. Maybe you have a codeword that you text when you're not okay. but it's hard to say you're not okay. At the end of the day, it's really about finding ways to make the hard parts—whatever the hard parts are for you—a little easier. And hey if you have any other small exercises in vulnerability to share, I could use all of the baby steps I could get. CREDITS Thanks for listening to Mood Ring, a production of APM Studios and Pizza Shark. We're a new show, so it really helps if you rate, review and share this episode with your friends. You can even tag me if you're really into it — I'm @AnnaBroges on Twitter – that's Anna B-R-O-G-E-S … because Anna Borges was taken. We want to hear from you. You can get in touch at Moodringshow DOT ORG and click “Contact Us.” Or follow Mood Ring Show on Twitter and Instagram. You can also call and leave us a message at 833-666-3746. Mood Ring was developed by Kristina Lopez. Our executive producers are Maria Murriel, Isis Madrid and Beth Pearlman. Our story editor is Erika Janik. Mijoe Sahiouni is our digital producer. This episode was produced by Georgina Hahn. And as you know, I'm Anna Borges and I write, host and produce this show too. APM Executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. And finally, our music is by Mat Rotenberg. Thanks again for listening and I hope to see you next episode! MUSIC FADE OUT
Host Anna Borges interviews guest Zachary Zane about platonic intimacy. Follow Mood Ring @moodringshow Follow Anna @annabroges Mood Ring is a production of American Public Media and Pizza Shark. Full Transcript Anna Borges: The first time I realized I was touch starved during the pandemic is when the world started opening up and one of the first things I did was go and get a wax for the first time. And as my wax tech was like painfully ripping the hair off my body, I thought, "Huh, it's so nice to be touched by another human again." It's not that I didn't realize that I was lonely or could really stand to have been fucked or cuddled — I live alone and I'm single, so during the height of pandemic lockdown, I was … very, very isolated. But it wasn't until I felt this visceral rush of relief when I typically felt excruciating pain that I realized, Oh, I needed this. Like, actually needed it. Because when I say I was touch starved, I'm not being cute or dramatic. Tough starvation is a real thing. It's also known as skin hunger or touch deprivation, but whatever you call it, we know that going for too long without human touch has real psychological effects. Starting with when we bond with our caregivers through touch when we're infants, we're wired to need touch, for our development and for our mental health. So what do we do when we're not getting any? Hey, I'm Anna Borges and this is Mood Ring, a practical guide to feelings, even when you're feeling so untouched like a 2007 pop song. Every episode, we'll explore one new way to cope—with our feelings, with our baggage, with our brains, or with the world around us. Anna Borges: Today we're talking about cuddling with your friends, which might seem like kind of a leap from a bikini wax. But that's because I didn't know until the last minute that I wanted this episode to be about cuddling your friends. Before that, I knew I wanted to do something on touch starvation, and, you know, ways to scratch that itch. We thought of massages, or loving self-touch and yep, getting waxed, but, you know, none of them really felt right. Because sure, all of that involves getting touched, but none of it is intimacy. And I was missing intimacy as much as I was missing the touch itself. And then I had this exchange on Twitter. SOUND OF KEYBOARD TYPING I was doing what I do—AKA tweeting about whatever thought comes into my head and conveniently forgetting that my family and coworkers follow me—and I was basically like, “Hey, show of hands, who else hasn't had real physical intimacy since the Before Times?" And lots of people chimed in and long story short, the tweet led to some talk about why platonic intimacy isn't more of a thing. Like, why is so much non-sexual touch still reserved mostly for sexual and romantic partners? And one of the people who chimed in is actually one of today's guests. I slid into his DMs like, “Hey, want to platonically cuddle?” and by that I mean, “Do you want to come on my podcast?” And thankfully, he said yes. Zachary Zane is a writer who mostly focuses on sex and bisexuality in his work. He's behind the erotic nonficiton zine Boyslut and is a columnist for Men's Health. And most importantly, he's someone who, quite frankly, seemed to have a lot of platonic intimacy in his life. So, I wanted us to learn from him together. Anna Borges: Oh, I'm so excited to chat today! Were you luckier than I was during the pandemic and, like, got plenty of touch? What, what was it like for you? Zach Zane: Um, I- initially, no, I did not get any touch whatsoever and that was not fun as I, as you can imagine. And then I actually, one of the few people that managed to find love during the pandemic, which I know is probably problematic to say. But uh- Anna Borges: I hate you. I'm so jealous. Zach Zane: And, and then, so we kind of cuddled up together. So I had a primary partner who I was able to see and cuddle with, towards the kind of end of it. Cause there was that lull kind of the middle, during the summer where I was like, okay, I feel safe meeting people, and that's when I met them. And then we kind of went back into lockdown and then we were with each other. So I was very lucky. Anna Borges: Ugh. Oh, and for our listeners who aren't familiar with, like ethical non-monogamy and polyamory, can you just give like a quick one liner on like what you mean when you say primary partner? Zach Zane: Sure. So primary partner for me, I … it, it just like, I actually practice, like, non-hierarchical poly, but so maybe saying primary is not the correct term. So essentially when you have multiple partners, this is kind of like, for me in the sense was kind of the, the main one that I was kind of hanging out with, the main one who I'm in love with, the one who I call my boyfriend. And then I kind of have more casual partners, which are almost like, honestly, friends with benefits. Although poly people just kind of love putting terms to absolutely everything, unnecessarily. But, so this was more the person who I'd spend my time with more consistently. Anna Borges: Got it. Got it. And I love, I love that you say friends with benefits because immediately my brain goes, okay, well, this episode is about cuddling your friends. First, I would love to just hear about your experience with platonic intimacy and how, and what that means for you and what it looks like in your life. Zach Zane: I think I'm very … lucky that I've been able to have it, but I'm able to have it because I am queer. And I recognize that, where cuddling with another man platonically, I feel like it's much more accepted in the gay community, in the queer community, than if I was completely straight. And then I think it would just be more challenging if, you know, if you're straight, you have to be really comfortable with your masculinity to be able to platonically cuddle another straight friend. Anna Borges: Hmm, absolutely. What kind of experiences have you had in this area? Zach Zane: Yeah. And I really think in that regard, it's more like relationship anarchy. Again, there are a million terms and I know it's annoying, but kind of relationship anarchy, one of the key … parts of that is the idea that you don't prioritize kind of romantic relationships over your friendships and your friendships can be equally as important and equally as fulfilling, even though you're not sexual, even if you're not in, in a romantic relationship. And I kinda love that about relationship anarchy. Anna Borges: But I'm curious how you, if you ever had the expectation that touch and physical intimacy was only for romantic partners and if you had to release the expectation of that and accept that it could be with platonic relationships, or if it's always been that way for you? Zach Zane: No, I think I definitely had this idea that … you know, touch, whether it's cuddling, or touch that extends beyond sex, was definitely still for romantic relationships or sexual relationships. I think the only exception is when you were, like, sad or crying. Is, if I'm looking back on it, it's when you're crying. That was the only time it was kind of more acceptable to have these elements of platonic touch as a means of comfort. Like why do I have to reach a point of such despair in order to, for it to be socially acceptable for me to have platonic touch. But I really think, the thing that changed was, again, I- was being queer, and just, I was part of this community where people were platonic touching. Being like, Hey, let's cuddle, let's get in a bed or just holding each other or in a way that was just the norm … or definitely more of the norm in a way that wasn't weird or necessarily sexual. Anna Borges: Absolutely. So it does sound like you have, like, no lack of channels for platonic intimacy. Zach Zane: No I 100% agree, but I also wanna be like, I'm in the minority and I'm very lucky to have this, and I'm lucky to have my friends and my community and my partners. And again, it's all part of the queer and poly world, and that's why I've been able to get this. After a break, we'll get some advice for listeners who might be ready to snuggle up with their friends but don't know how to ask, so stay tuned. MIDROLL Hey, welcome back to Mood Ring, I'm Anna Borges. Let's get back to my conversation with sex writer and activist Zachary Zane about cuddling our friends. Anna Borges: So, I'm curious if you would have any advice for listeners who aren't in these communities, but who might wanna take some of this wisdom to apply to their friendship. And they're like, I really want platonic intimacy, but as you called out, unless you're in a space where that's normalized and acceptable, it could be really awkward. Zach Zane: I'm, I'm always just a fan of asking for what you want and then being, the key about asking for what you want being okay with rejection and not being weird. That's the key to asking for what you want, is being super okay with rejection, not making it weird when they get awkward or uncomfortable. Cause they've never been asked that question before. And they might just say no, because like they're like, no, no. And then they might come back being like, actually that sounds really nice. So just, the key is in how you take their rejection or they might be like, Hey! Actually, yeah, I'm really touched starved, too. And especially now, I think because of the pandemic, it actually creates more of an entry point than potentially what you've had before, because you're like, I had no touch for two years completely and I'm starved for it. Makes it an easier entry point, I think. Anna Borges: Yeah. And, and that's on, even on the physical side, and on the emotional side, it does involve being vulnerable and admitting like, Hey, I'm seeking something because I lack it. And I'm lonely. Or I, you know, I wonder if, because this is so normalized in your circles, if you still deal with that or if you ever did, or if it's something that's come with practice. Zach Zane: I, I mean, I think it's scary. I think anytime being vulnerable or intimate or expressing, Hey, I, I miss being touched like, it is a challenging thing for a lot of people to admit. I mean, hopefully you're doing this with friends who you trust, who you feel. That's the point of friendship to be, you're allowed to be vulnerable. You're allowed to be intimate. You're allowed to share your darkest desires. They're here to support you. They're here to help you. So kind of let them do that. And I think it's one of those things that's actually, so everyone wins from this. Anna Borges: Absolutely. Oh! So before we wrap, because we've had such an emphasis on like the importance of communication and I'm loving all the takeaways, I was wondering if we could walk through, which we've touched on a little bit so far, but a script for listeners to take away, like, hey, they want to make an ask for the first time of one of their friends. What exactly might they say? Zach Zane: I think it's better to air on the side of being more blunt and direct. And I think, being blunt and direct is almost a learning curve, and then receiving someone being blunt and direct is a learning curve, but it gets easier. When you just kind of express what it is that you want very clearly where there's no ambiguity, and that way they know what they're getting into, they are fully consenting with the knowledge of everything that you've told them and what this is gonna be. So I understand that this sounds on the side of maybe blunter than you would like, and you can always soften it yourself. But I think something along the lines of like, Hey, I have a question for you. I've just been really starved for touch right now, and really all of COVID. And so I was wondering if you'd be open to cuddling a bit. I just miss being held and holding people. And I really trust you, and would love to do this with you. And then if you want, you can literally throw out at the end, I promise no funny business. Anna Borges: [laughs] The little kicker. Oh, I love that. That doesn't feel too blunt. That feels very vulnerable, compassionate and also complimentary. Complimentary? Complimentary. Zach Zane: Yeah, no, I think it's that. I think you're, you're expressing your vulnerability and, and desire for intimacy in a way that … again, 99% of us crave the same thing. So this is a universal desire. If you wanted something completely out there, okay, then it's a different conversation. But I think if anyone, you know, they can easily empathize, sympathize or odds are, are craving the same thing. So you're not alone in your desires. Anna Borges: Absolutely, ugh. And that, I think, is a beautiful note to end on. So thank you so much for this lovely conversation. Zach Zane: Awesome, thank you so much. Anna Borges: And where can people find you if they wanna see more of your work? Zach Zane: So, my website's always greatzacharyzane.com. Or Twitter and Instagram, both as zacharyzane_. So z-a-c-h-a-r-y-z-a-n-e underscore. Just know that I am extremely shadow banned on Instagram, so you have to type in my whole name and handle to be able to find me. But that is because I post hot and sexy photos along with hot and sexy content. So, so, hopefully you guys will enjoy it. Anna Borges: See, it'll be worth the effort spelling the whole thing out. Zach Zane: Exaaaaactly. Exactly. So how many of you listened to Zachary's script and can't imagine being that vulnerable and straightforward? Because I feel you. But the thing is, Zachary was so right when he said that this need for intimacy is universal, especially right now when so many of us are more disconnected than we've ever been. It might feel exposing to put yourself out there like that, but hey, when I think about getting that message from the other side of things? That kind of request is one I would be so thrilled to receive. So maybe we can all be a little braver about initiating the intimacy we want to see in the world? Because hey, someone has to be the first one to ask. CREDITS Thanks for listening to Mood Ring, a production of APM Studios and Pizza Shark. We're a new show, so it really helps if you rate, review and share this episode with your friends. You can even tag me if you're really into it. I'm @AnnaBroges on Twitter — that's Anna B-R-O-G-E-S, because Anna Borges was taken. We wanna hear from you! You can get in touch at Moodringshow DOT ORG and click contact us, or you can follow MoodRingShow on Twitter and Instagram. You can also call and leave a message at 833-666-3746. Mood Ring was developed by Kristina Lopez. Our executive producers are Maria Murriel, Isis Madrid and Beth Pearlman. Our story editor is Erika Janik. Mijoe Sahiouni is our digital producer. This episode was produced by Georgina Hahn. And as you know, I'm Anna Borges and I write, host and produce this show, too. APM Executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert and Joanne Griffith. And finally, our music is by Mat Rotenberg. Thanks again for listening, and I hope to see you next episode!
Join us today for a conversation with Arianne Garcia and Dr. Kristina Lopez about Autism in the Latino community. This is part two of a two-part episode. Listen to Part One aired last week if you want to catch up! Today, we'll be talking how difficult it is to assess which state laws best serve Latino Autistic people, and why it may be better to acknowledge that all states have broken, inadequate systems. Period. We'll also be talking about the transition to adulthood. Topics include access to programs like FAFSA, why self-advocacy needs to be a part of children's experience starting in junior high, and cultural norms within the Latino community that make the transition different. Get $50 when you open an ABLE account with today's sponsor, ABLE United: https://www.ableunited.com/ Nominate Mom Autism Money for Best Personal Finance Content for Underserved Communities: https://www.plutusawards.com/enter/ Check out Kristina's work out of Arizona State University: https://isearch.asu.edu/profile/2985368 Visit Arianne's Website: https://arianneswork.com/ Follow Arianne on Twitter: https://twitter.com/arianneswork StairwaytoSTEM.org – Website for Autistic youth transitioning to college where Arianne is an editorial board member. Subscribe to the Mom Autism Money email list: https://momautismmoney.com/ Full episode transcript: https://momautismmoney.com/autism-latino-communities
Join us today for a conversation with Arianne Garcia and Dr. Kristina Lopez about autism in the Latino community. This is part one of a two-part episode. Be sure to subscribe to Mom Autism Money on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or Google Podcasts so you won't miss part two when it drops next Tuesday. Today, we'll be talking primarily about Autism diagnoses in the Latino community, and the systemic obstacles that prevent people from accessing services to which they have a right. We'll talk about Bruno, learn about how Arianne's diagnosis and example changed her community, and learn about culturally-informed interventions Dr. Lopez is pioneering around the country with her peers. Get $50 when you open an ABLE account with today's sponsor, ABLE United: https://www.ableunited.com/ Nominate Mom Autism Money for Best Personal Finance Content for Underserved Communities: https://www.plutusawards.com/enter/ Visit Arianne's Website: https://arianneswork.com/ Follow Arianne on Twitter: https://twitter.com/arianneswork StairwaytoSTEM.org – Website for Autistic youth transitioning to college where Arianne is an editorial board member. Check out Kristina's work out of Arizona State University: https://isearch.asu.edu/profile/2985368 Subscribe to the Mom Autism Money email list: https://momautismmoney.com/ Full episode transcript: https://momautismmoney.com/autism-latino-community
Kristina Lopez Adduci is the founder and CEO of House of Puff, a Latina-led and women-owned cannabis lifestyle company based in NYC. Kristina launched House of Puff to help women consume cannabis unapologetically, making it chic and effortless. Hailing from the art world, she marries these worlds with art-inspired cannabis products that women can be proud of. Kristina is also an active advocate for fair disbursement of venture capital and investment avenues for women and BIPoC in the cannabis industry. Press: The Woman Advocating For Communities of Color to Benefit From the Cannabis 'Green Rush,' One Glass Pipe at a Time 5 Questions With House Of Puff CEO And Founder Kristina Lopez Adduci Coffee Talk Episode 8: Kristina Lopez Adduci Connect: Kristina Adduci on LinkedIn Y Scouts is a leadership search firm that finds purpose-aligned and performance-proven leaders to help organizations achieve their missions faster. Ready to supercharge your leadership search and get the right person in your organization? Contact Y Scouts.
Kristina discusses creating the women-owned Latina-led design house, normalizing cannabis through art-inspired products and how to overcome the challenges often faced by women leaders in cannabis.
Buckle up for a brawl between two of the most iconic video game characters of all time. It's Pikachu vs. Mario!! Radio producer and Pokemon trainer David Zha goes up against podcast pro and Mario maven Kristina Lopez in this electrifying debate. Which character will win? The mighty, mustachioed plumber known for giant jumps? Or the yellow thunder mouse known for packing an electrified punch!? Zip over to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who YOU think won.Support Smash Boom Best with a donation and get automatic access to our live, interactive Halloween themed event in October. Head to smashboom.org/donate and donate today! This episode was sponsored by: Headspace headspace.com/smash
Everything keeps getting more intense! So we ask journalists Tricia Bobeda and Kristina Lopez how they're managing their news intake.Then, we talk to Glennon Doyle, author of several books, including Untamed, about why resolutions are not for her.And finally, we hear from some of you about what you've resolved to bring into 2021. Join us!
Return guest @holleratme and Molls talk about some pop culture scandals and update you on where we’ve been and what’s going on. If you’re so inclined, please show love to producer and best friend Kristina Lopez on Twitter right now. We hope to be back to regular episodes soon. Thanks, as always, for being the strongest Nation in the world. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
"People be watching!"Molls and Kristina are back with the second part of our season finale, Queen Sized.They move forward through the film, discussing bullies (high school and on social media), journaling, and what it means to 'numb out'. Stick around to hear where this movie lands on our official rating scale!Consider supporting the show on Patreon so we can continue bringing you the Lifetime LOLs! You can also leave a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts so other Lifetime Movie lovers can find us. Follow us online, too – @MMISWP on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
"[This] was no one's summer movie in 2008."Molls welcomes back her BFF Kristina Lopez for Queen Sized, a Nikki Blonsky joint.Before they get into it, they have a brief chat about the return of The Hills and some semi-recent Nikki news. Have some LOLs with them as they discuss the first half of this lovely Lifetime film. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
"Such a clunky title of a name." Happy Holidays, movie lovers! Molls welcomes back one of her BFFs, Kristina Lopez, to chat about this lovely holiday film starring Luke Perry and Joanna Garcia Swisher!Join them as they get into the holiday spirit with this lovely Christmas movie. You'll definitely want to hang out to see where this lands on our scale!Also, if you're craving more holiday content... head over to our Patreon to check out our exclusive show, Twelve Months of Christmas, hosted by friends of the pod David & Joe. Each month, they take you on a journey through the world of Hallmark (and sometimes Netflix) movies and we know you'll love it!This is the last episode of 2018! Molls and friends will be back mid-January 2019 to share more movie LOLs. We hope you have a wonderful holiday break and as always, thank you for your support!Help us continue bringing the Lifetime love by supporting the show on Patreon. If you’re digging us, leave a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts so we can keep sharing the Lifetime movie love! Follow us online, too – @MMISWP on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
"I don't think any of the spouses have chemistry." Molls welcomes back BFF Kristina Lopez to chat about the Jenna Elfman Lifetime gem, Obsessed. They start off by chatting about some Alicia Keys history before getting into the movie. Join Molls and Kristina as they walk through this movie, which is based on a true story, scene by scene. Enjoy the airhorn and some LOLs between the two and stick around to find out where this masterpiece landed on our rating scale. If you’re digging us, leave a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts so we can keep sharing the Lifetime movie love! Follow us online, too – @MMISWP on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
***Got a question? Call us up at (323)450-7408 or write an email/send a voice note to askplzadvise [at] gmail.com.***Ok y’all, we’ve got a different little treat for you today in the feed. We’re featuring an episode of Molly’s (twitter.com/molls) Lifetime movie podcast, “Mother, May I Sleep with Podcast?” The movie? “The Girl He Met Online.” Listen, learn, laugh. We’ll be back next week! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“His description of his ideal date was PSL basic.” Molls welcomes back Kristina Lopez (who appeared last season for The Client List) to take a little journey into an online relationship gone wrong as they discuss The Girl He Met Online. They talk about the 90s aesthetics of the movie, the family dynamics of each lead characters, and Gillian's mental illness(es). Get comfortable, have some LOLs, and hang out until the end to see where this landed on our rating scale! Subscribe now & if you're digging us, leave a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts so we can keep sharing the Lifetime movie love! You can also follow us on Twitter & Instagram (@MMISWP) and Facebook (facebook.com/MMISWP). Until next week... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
It’s (finally) here! Listen as producer Kristina Lopez (twitter.com/kristinalopez) shares tape from her time at the L.A. women’s march. She also has a chat with Plz Advise fan and writer Aja Barber (twitter.com/etoilee8) about Aja’s experience at the D.C. march, her thoughts on how the movement can be more inclusive for women of color, and more. Here’s Aja’s article on her march experience. We’ll be back with a regular episode next week. Upcoming guests are Gaby Dunn and Ed Hansen. Got a question for them? Call us up at (323)450-7408 or write an email/send a voice note to askplzadvise [at] gmail.com Music: Fleslit - “Love in the Sky” JBlanked - “Send... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
No new episode this week bbs due to a lot of holiday travels, but plz enjoy this ep of "Mother, May I Sleep with Podcast"! “This is a PSA for people who peaked in high school.” Happy New Year, babes! Molls and Kristina Lopez (you know her as the producer of Plz Advise) dissect a Lifetime Original, The Client List, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. The ladies talk about the big, beautiful pageantry of the South, the cuteness level of JLH's kids in the film, and how Kristina would react if she had to bail Molls out of jail. Tune in for some LOLs and see where this landed on our rating scale! If you’re digging us, leave a 5-star rating and review on iTunes so we can keep sharing the Lifetime movie love! Follow us online, too – visit mothermayisleepwithpodcast.com or hit us up on social media, we're @MMISWP on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“This is a PSA for people who peaked in high school.” Happy New Year, babes! Molls and Kristina Lopez (you know her as the producer of Plz Advise) dissect a Lifetime Original, The Client List, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt. The ladies talk about the big, beautiful pageantry of the South, the cuteness level of JLH's kids in the film, and how Kristina would react if she had to bail Molls out of jail. Tune in for some LOLs and see where this landed on our rating scale! If you’re digging us, leave a 5-star rating and review on iTunes so we can keep sharing the Lifetime movie love! Follow us online, too – visit mothermayisleepwithpodcast.com or hit us up on social media, we're @MMISWP on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We’re back with a new episode of “Plz Advise” with Molls (twitter.com/molls)! This week our special guest is Lauren Lapkus (twitter.com/laurenlapkus) of “Orange Is The New Black," "Jurassic World” and her own podcast, "With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus.” (http://bit.ly/1EFO9fy) Together Molls and Lauren chat about #TheDress, Real Housewives, Pinterest and they also take your calls. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/wick-it/salt-n-pepa-push-it-wick-it-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This new hilarious episode of “Plz Advise” features Molls (twitter.com/molls) chatting up actress Jackie Johnson (twitter.com/jackie_michele) about “Inherent Vice,” “Fifty Shades of Grey” and they also take your calls about getting over a breakup, dating a co-worker and dealing with online haters. Molls also interviews Nick the Roommate. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/edpemusic/elastic-heart-ft-the-weeknd See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We’ve got a little bit of a Franken-episode of “Plz Advise” this week. We’re flying by the seat of our pants and this week Molls (twitter.com/molls) interviews Ebong Eka(twitter.com/ebongeka) of Real Housewives of D.C. fame and he gives some pretty inspiring advice. Molls and the studio gang also answer your questions and talk about “The Boy Next Door.” If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/djactionjackson/tlc-creep-lemi-vice-action-1 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Honey, yes! This is another big episode of “Plz Advise” this week and Molls (twitter.com/molls) chats with our special guest, Max Wyeth (twitter.com/MaxWyeth), about Empire, their dick quilt and your questions. Molls also does another angel card reading, so stay tuned! If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/djflex973/love-no-thot-yeet-deejayflex973-remix-emg See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
*** Help us out and enter a chance to win a $25 iTunes gift card by filling out this survey at plzadvisesurvey.com *** Check out this super-sized episode of “Plz Advise” where Molly (twitter.com/molls) chats with our special guest, “Vanderpump Rules” star Ariana Madix (twitter.com/ariana2525), about the reality show, her relationship with Tom Sandoval and more. Molly and Ariana also take your phone calls about snooping, hating a best friend’s fiancé and twerking. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/oliverheldens/return-of-the-mack-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
*** Help us out and enter a chance to win a $25 iTunes gift card by filling out this survey at plzadvisesurvey.com *** Molly (twitter.com/molls) and our special guest, actress Leslie Grossman (twitter.com/MissLeslieG), team up for an episode that will help you start off 2015 right! Together they talk reality TV and answer your calls about tipping, dating someone with freeloading siblings and more. Molly and Leslie also give you some amazing words of wisdom. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/summer-was-fun/bleachers-i-wanna-get-better-summer-was-fun-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
*** Help us out and enter a chance to WIN a $25 iTunes gift card by filling out this survey at http://plzadvisesurvey.com *** Gear up for 2015 by listening to Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and our special guests Ryan O'Connell [https://twitter.com/ryanoconn] and Lara Schoenhals [https://twitter.com/LarzMarie] look back at some of the best moments of “Plz Advise” this year and catch up with new updates from some of your favorite callers. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/louisvexclusive/girls-1975-the-knocks-remix-louisvexclusive-jersey-club-bootleg-mastered See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
It’s the “Plz Advise” Holiday Spectacular!! Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and our special guests Ryan O'Connell [https://twitter.com/ryanoconn] and Lara Schoenhals [https://twitter.com/LarzMarie] take your calls, drink holiday-themed (and maybe gross) sodas and provide you with many quotable moments. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/rsremix/paul-mccartney-wonderful-christmastime-rhythm-scholar-kringle-kut-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“Plz Advise” is back with another great episode to liven up your Monday. Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and guest, writer Richard Rushfield [https://twitter.com/RichardRushfield] answer questions about getting back with an ex, dating someone deep in debt and what to do when your friend has a very young date. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/wick-it/johhny-cash-i-walk-the-line?in=wick-it/sets/wick-it-the-instigator See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“Plz Advise” is back from hiatus with a hilarious episode. Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and guest, writer Ed Hansen [https://twitter.com/TheRealEdHansen] take your calls about frenemies, annoying co-workers and more. They also try some seriously gross sodas. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/eatdatcake/bootycakedupremix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“Plz Advise” gets real this week as Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and guest, producer and director Eric Amadio [https://twitter.com/amadio], take your calls about helicopter parents, getting your business in check and being undatable. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Get ready for a not-so-spooky, but very funny episode of “Plz Advise” Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] is joined by guest, comedian Lauren Ashley Bishop [https://twitter.com/sbellelauren] and together they answer calls about getting over the death of a dog and handling a friendship breakup. They also go on a little candy corn tasting adventure. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/wick-it/michael-jackson-thriller-wick See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
"Plz Advise” tries out something new with a special guest. This week, Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] takes on your problems with our guest “Jackson,” a former caller from the "Think About Kristin on 'Laguna Beach’ ” and the “Chicken Fingers” episodes. Together they answer questions about hooking up as a single mom, breaking up with a girlfriend after realizing you’re not a lesbian and dating a sister’s ex. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/djscooterremix/pitbull-fireball-dj-scooter-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Get ready for a fantastic episode of "Plz Advise” this week with Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and our very special guest, Molly's BFF writer Ed Hansen [https://twitter.com/TheRealEdHansen] Together these two laugh, try to answer your dilemmas and have a little musical moment. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/bosstonemusic/amerie-1-thing-bosstone-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We’re back with another fun episode of “Plz Advise.” This week, Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and guest Cassie Steele [https://twitter.com/cassandrasteele], former star of “Degrassi: The Next Generation” and "The L.A. Complex,” take on questions about forgiveness, Halloween costumes and getting over being dumped on Skype. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/instantpartymusic/the-chainsmokers-kanye-instant-party-remix-1 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Tune in for a wild episode of "Plz Advise." Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] is joined by guest Cassie Steele [https://twitter.com/cassandrasteele], former star of "Degrassi: The Next Generation" and "The L.A. Complex." You can see her next in the horror/thriller "The Dorm." Together Molly and Cassie take questions about how to tell a friend that her wedding is becoming ridiculous, being intimidated by the women your boyfriend works with and dealing with overprotective parents. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/your-edms-collection/ed-sheeran-sing-savarazz-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Get ready for one of the most cray and NSFW episodes of “Plz Advise” with Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and guest Lara Marie Schoenhals [https://twitter.com/LarzMarie], co-creator of https://twitter.com/whitegrlproblem and co-author of the New York Times best-selling book "White Girl Problems” and "Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book." Molly and Lara take questions about dating while homeless and jobless, meeting people in LA and the “Plz Advise” mailbox gets a few dick pics. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/neon-niteclub/taylor-swift-shake-it-off-neon-niteclub-remix-free-download See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We’re back after a little break! Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] is joined by guest Lara Marie Schoenhals [https://twitter.com/LarzMarie], co-creator of https://twitter.com/whitegrlproblem and co-author of the New York Times best-selling book "White Girl Problems” and "Psychos: A White Girl Problems Book.” In this episode, the ladies take calls about dating while unemployed, what to do when your boyfriend is boring in bed and they chat about the drama of “Vanderpump Rules." If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/neon-niteclub/taylor-swift-shake-it-off-neon-niteclub-remix-free-download See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
“Plz Advise” gets back to its roots this week as Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] goes solo (with producer Kristina chiming in) and tackles questions about psycho booty calls, getting back into dating after the death of a spouse and how to have the “let’s just be friends” convo. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/dj-irresistible/nicki-minaj-anaconda-dj-irresistible-edit See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Guest Courtney Robertson [https://twitter.com/bugrobertson] (“Bachelor” season 16 winner and author of "I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain”) returns for a new episode “Plz Advise with Molly McAleer.” This week, Molly [https://twitter.com/molls] and Courtney dish about the “Bachelor,” being on a reality show and vajazzling. They also take your calls about dating a friend’s ex, how to just do you and more. If you have a question for Molly, call in at: 323-450-7408 or email us at askplzadvise [at] gmail.com. Produced by: Kristina Lopez [https://twitter.com/KristinaLopez] Assistant Producer: Christina Milazzo [https://twitter.com/frizzyfilazzo] Artwork by: Heather Peterson [https://twitter.com/hrrrthrrr] Music: https://soundcloud.com/thefatrat/all-night-thefatrat-remix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.