The Patrauma Party

Anxiety isn't just about your thoughts, it's about whether or not you see *YOURSELF* as capable enough to handle life (OOF!). In this episode, I get into this and SO much more with anxiety expert Dr. Stephanie Lopez (you can check out her FREE training for ditching anxiety here). If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session with Remy, go here.If you'd like a birth chart reading with Remy, go here. Want to connect? Find me here:⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

In this epi, we're getting into the symptoms of growing up without a parent who supported and hyped you up or even hugged you—it can show up allll over your life—AND we're getting into how we heal. (Don't worry—it's a huge heartache, but we're starting small.)If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session with Remy, go ⁠here⁠.If you'd like a birth chart reading with Remy, go ⁠here⁠. Want to connect? Find me here:⁠Instagram⁠⁠TikTok⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

NBD just going through life feeling like you're always the problem because you weren't treated like you were good enough to be heard, seen, respected, or loved as a kid! In this episode, psychotherapist Kelly Lewis joins me to get into everything from neglect and not feeling good enough, anxious attachment and not feeling good enough, conditional love and feeling like you have to earn approval to be good enough, social factors like fatphobia, homophobia, racism, and sexism and not feeling good enough, and even the intersection of perfectionism, growth and fixed mindsets, and imposter syndrome and not feeling good enough. And ofc, we go deep on how to heal. Want to book a one-hour session with me? Go here: https://calendly.com/workwithremy/55-minutesWant to connect? Find me here:InstagramTikTokEmail: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Are you feeling like you're always on the brink of a panic attack while a government of racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic oligarchs squeezes every last ounce of democracy out of our country? Then this one's for you.The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Healing after a breakup suucckkks—the grief, the anger, the fear. In this episode, I sit down with somatic practioner Laurie James to talk about The 4 E's (we especially love "expel"), self-compassion post-breakup, and even breakups with friends and family. Want to book a one-hour session with me? Go here: https://calendly.com/workwithremy/55-minutesThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

A lot of families don't take sibling abuse seriously—behavior they would never accept from a bully at school, they completely gloss over when it's happening at home. How do we heal from that trauma? And when it continues into adulthood, can we even mend the relationship with our sibling? In this episode, I coach Jackie through these questions, letting go of what isn't working so that she can reclaim her authentic self and integrate what was lost along the way.Want to book a one-hour session with me? Go here: https://calendly.com/workwithremy/55-minutesThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Does your internal monologue ever sound like, "I'll never get better," "I'll never have the life I want," "I'll never fall in love"? Then this one's for you, baby! Learned helplessness is when we learn (often in abusive households growing up) that we don't have any control over the harm being done to us, so we just stop trying. We basically learn to be helpless. In this episode, somatic marriage and family therapist Katrina Foster joins me to talk through how learned helplessness impacts our lives and how we heal from the bottom up. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

After a sexual assault, you often spiral into a hole you feel you'll never come out of. In this episode, Rima writes in to ask for help with the feeling that she will be never the person she was before she was assaulted. For clarity's sake, the phrase "sexual assault" is an umbrella term that applies to many experiences, including but not limited to rape. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can reach out to RAINN at 800.656.HOPE (4673).The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

So much of what we think about ourselves and the world is A. not helpful, and B. operating on automatic without our even knowing about it. If we think we're not good enough, not worthy of love, always going to be broke, never going to feel happy again, etc. etc., we're letting self-defeating beliefs run the show of our lives. In this episode, I'm joined by therapist and author Judith Belmont to talk about how we work with those self-defeating beliefs, so they don't work us. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

People keep telling Maggie to write gratitude lists to help her while she's struggling emotionally. But every time she tries to do it, she feels worse and sometimes even cries, which makes her feel like there's something wrong with her. Is there a part of her that's resisting happiness? or is there a problem with gratitude? The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Anyone else feel like they're not good enough for people to stand up for them? Anyone else get a hit of unworthiness when people don't have your back? In this episode, LCSW Sydney Linden joins to talk about the different ways it can look to go unprotected in childhood, what core beliefs it creates for us in adulthood, and what it looks like to heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

Chloe's father is a malignant narcissist, but now that he's dying, she's deeply wrestling with her decision to go no-contact. How can she truly be a loving, forgiving person if she refuses to be in contact with him? In this episode, we talk about healing the wounds of being in relationship with a narcissistic parent and redefining what "love" means when it's time to go no-contact. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.

We think of empathy as always being a good thing, but like everything else, too much of a good thing can be toxic. I call "toxic empathy" (not a clinical term, BTW, just my term), the phenomenon that occurs when we empathize with others to the point that we can't feel our *own* feelings. We can't feel anger when people hurt us, or we order a cocktail we don't want because our friend doesn't want to drink alone, etc. etc. It robs us of our boundaries and our autonomy, often leading to self-abandonment. In this episode, I welcome marriage and family associate therapist Renee Tate back to the pod to talk about how it works and how we heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Teal grew up being super parentified by her addicted mother. The house was dirty, there wasn't food, her mom was at the bars, and she was in charge of her siblings. In this episode, we dig into the self-limiting beliefs around self-worth that resulted from Teal's struggle (the people pleasing, resentments, and lack of self-knowing) and look at what it means to heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

A lack of encouragement in childhood leaves a deep mark on us—it can impact our sense of self-worth, of safety, of resiliance—you name it. Sometimes it's easy to see that we weren't encouraged, but for many of us, we don't even realize that it's at the root of many of our struggles. In this episode, I welcome writer and therapist Solasta McIntyre back to the show to talk us through how a lack of encouragement impacts children's developing brains, what the repercussions look like in adulthood, and how we heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

There are so many ways to approach healing the mother wound, and what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else. That's why I was SOOOO excited to have hilarious comedian, internet star, badass feminist, daily meditator, mental health advocate, and sweet baby angel Toni Nagy on the show to talk about what her process has looked like in working through the mother wound (plus we get some dad stuff in there, too, so. humble brag). The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Never heard of limerence? You know that feeling when you don't know if someone's into you, but you can't stop thinking about it, you get stuck in daydreams about them, and you're just waiting with bated breath for the next time they talk to you? It's that feeling of romantic obsession that keeps you stuck on people who don't reciprocate, and turns out—it's a trauma response. In this episode, clinical social worker and psychotherapist Amanda Ichihashi Jagerman joins the pod to talk about how limerence works, where it comes from, and how we overcome it. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Lucy writes in about being "discarded" by her ex-boyfriend who struggles with addiction. She wants to figure out why he's acting this way—she wants it to make sense. How do we navigate relationships like these? The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

It's not something you can slap a dinner party on and call it good. Chronic loneliness is often carried into adulthood from childhood—usually due to neglect. In this episode, I talk to psychotherapist Zara Neukom about how chronic loneliness starts, how it impacts our lives, and what it can look like to change from a lens of hyper self-reliance to one of mutual support. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Many of us have been cheated on—but also, many of us had parents who cheated. In this episode, Robin writes in to share the trauma she experienced as a child around her dad's cheating, and the way it impacts her still as an adult. We talk about what our inner child needs in those moments, why our worthiness gets tanked when we're cheated on, and why learning that a partner is cheating is actually really helpful information. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

You know that feeling of being in trouble that makes you want to throw up? sob? jump out of your skin? It's really common, but especially when you grew up around dysregulated adults or were abused as a kid. It's not just emotionally exhausting, it also sends your body into emergency mode and can cause all kinds of illnesses (!!!). In this episode, somatic practitioner Veronica Rottman talks us through what lies beneath the feeling of being in trouble, how it affects us, and what it looks like to heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

After getting rejected from countless job interviews, Aaron started believing he was a failure, stuck in a rut that would never change. In this episode, we dig through the past to find and heal old beliefs, while looking for new ways of relating to the pain of rejection and lack of control. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

As a recovering people-pleaser, I can ONE HUNDRED PERCENT attest to the fact that we are motivated by fear. It's a survival tactic that tons of us learned to navigate abusive or chaotic childhoods. But the problem is that it doesn't end in childhood—we take people-pleasing into our friendships, our sex lives, our living situations, our professional spheres—literally everywhere. In this episode, I welcome therapist and people-pleasing coach Emily Nader to the pod to talk about people-pleasing without even knowing you're doing it (fuucckkkk), the connection between people-pleasing and anxious attachment, how we heal the instinct to people-please, and lots more. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

After her painful, messy divorce, Erika is isolating from her friends. She doesn't want to be a burden on them or fail in her role as the "reliable" one. Together, we process the underlying emotions of feeling unchosen, unwanted, and unworthy. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

We're back! My hiatus has come to an end, and I'm jumping back in with psychotherapist and certified grief specialist Courtney Carver to talk about resilience—my brain's least favorite activity! (Big fan of despair, loves it). We get into why it's so important, what it looks like, and how TF we do it. PS! There's a vulnerable moment in this epi that I almost cut out, but I decided to keep it because I think it can be easy to interpret resilience as not being impacted by trauma anymore or being "over it." I hope this feels validating for those who still experience grief, and that it reminds you that you ARE resilient, even when the pain resurges. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Oh hi! More epis soon (like, very soon)! But in the meantime, please listen to my hate rant about my movers and also take this poll and LMK what you think about this new idea. TYYYY! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Just popping in to say what's up and give some updates. ALSO sharing some brief thoughts about everyone's favorite and least icky topic: shame. Feels like I left a long message into a friend's voicemail TBH—that's where we're at rn! More soon. x --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

She's taking a break! This is my final epi before I head out for a few months (back in March), and I'm leaving you with some thoughts on resilience for your new year. May you wear something slutty as the ball drops, and I'll see you in 2024. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Ughhhh. Getting honest with ourselves about our abandonment wound can give us all the ick. But did you know that your abandonment wound is actually a super intelligent response to abuse? and that it actually means your system is operating exactly as it should? In this episode, I welcome somatic practitioner Veronica Rottman to the show to talk about how the abandonment wound lives in the body and what it looks like to heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Look. Our culture is bonkers when it comes to body image. There is no escaping the constant pressure to check a myriad of aesthetic-related boxes (thin, tall, young, blah blah blah), and it can feel like we can't really start our lives until we've [*insert prerequisite to living life here: lost 10 lbs, gotten clear skin, had a facelift, etc. etc.*]. And (FYI) if we've experienced trauma, we're at a greater risk of experiencing body image trauma, so. Fuck. How do we relinquish that need to control how people see us? And how do we heal that part of us that thinks our value is contingent on how we look? I welcome psychotherapist Kathryn Weenig to the show to shed some light on how we let go of control, embrace agency, and come back into our wholeness. And if you'd like to learn more on this topic, check out the links Kathryn recommends: https://www.opheliasplace.org/resourceshttps://equip.health/articleshttps://www.nalgonapositivitypride.com/https://www.sonyareneetaylor.com/books/the-body-is-not-an-apology-the-power-of-radical-self-love-h2x6phttps://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Anyone else find themselves talking about men like they're a terrifying alien species? There's obviously a lot of cultural rhetoric around distrusting men ("men are dogs," "a good man is hard to find"), but even the quip is rooted in trauma. So when we're out there trying to heal from [*insert numerous possible traumas here: assault, betrayal, abuse, being over-sexualized, etc.*], and the trauma seems to get stacked one on the other in real time—in our own lives *and* in the world around us—where do we even begin? In this episode, I welcome The Heartbreak Doula Tatiana Simone to talk us through healing the heartbreak that lies at the center of distrusting men. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Regret can absolutely take us down. It can diminish our resilience, hope, and faith in life. BUT—cool fact—it can also be a key tool in retrieving the parts of our authentic selves that we've lost along the way. In this episode, I welcome Renee Tate back to the pod to help us understand the ways we work through the pain of regret, and the ways we tap into the power of regret. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Here's my stance: Sometimes we just ARE victims. There's no way around it. But sometimes we're coming from a place of "victim" or powerlessness without even knowing it—it's just a loop leftover from childhood that's still going on repeat, and it has us showing up as if we don't have choices, as if we have no agency, as if people or the world is out to get us, or as if it's all just too hard. This pattern is a true bummer because it holds us back in so many ways. In this episode, I welcome somatic behavioral therapist Kelley Hoag to the show talk about healing the victim/scarcity mindset in the body, mind, and external world. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

It's a big mamajama. The pain of not having a mother or caregiver who was present, tender, affectionate, wise, kind, warm—it becomes SUCH a pain source in our lives, seeping into our relationships, our ability to connect, our sense of self, our ability to open to abundance—you name it. In this episode, I welcome intuitive guide Bridget Nielsen to walk us through the impact of such a profound wound, and what deep healing can look like. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Ughhhhh there are so many ways we can feel stuck—stuck in jobs, stuck in relationships, stuck in a situation that won't just go TF away, or even stuck in our own compulsive behavior that we can't seem to get a grip on. Behind that is a such a deep sense of powerlessness, and for those of us who experienced chronic trauma, that powerlessness is second nature. In this episode, registered clinical counsellor and psychotherapist Zara Neukom joins me to help us get to the root of these cycles and provide clarity on how to heal and get ourselves unstuck. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

It's my 50th episode!!! [*Insert many emojis*] Thanks to everyone for coming along with me on this trauma ride—we out here healing! This week, I welcome clinical psychologist Dr. Lindsay O'Shea to the show to talk us through healing from trauma bonding in childhood and adult relationships—what those bonds look like, how they impact our mental health and attachment styles, and how we reclaim ourselves and leave these toxic cycles. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Thank you for your patience! So many listeners have requested this topic. In this episode, I welcome Patruama Party listener and trauma-informed health coach Brittanie Pope to talk to us about her trauma being raised in the church—from disassociation, to shame, to losing trust. I also welcome licensed marriage and family therapist Willow Katz to the show to talk us through finding your center again, releasing shame, and learning the value of authenticity. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

In this episode, I answer questions about situationships, chronic negative self-talk, and my favorite movie! A reminder that I am NOT a mental health professional and I don't have a mental health professional on this episode, so take what's helpful and leave the rest. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Anyone else want to crawl into a hole when this topic comes up? It is SO vulnerable and SO painful to talk about the times we've had suicidal ideation, but it's actually pretty common, and if you suffer from CPTSD, it's even more common. In this episode, I welcome my dear friend and the founder of yoga and wellness platform Coincide, Courtney Higgins, to have a real, honest conversation about what it looks like to go into that space, how we can work with those thoughts, and how we can help our friends who are having suicidal ideation. Also, we mention a couple THC products that have helped us. Here's the one Court sent me, and here's the one I talked about. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Boundaries are literally THE life lesson. Like, if we learn nothing else before parting with this earth, let us learn what the hell healthy boundaries are and how the ef we uphold them. In this episode, I'm joined by consciousness guide Pam Curran to talk us through her take on healthy boundaries, why "You suck" is not a boundary (womp womp), and how we maintain what she calls "soul esteem" in our quest for healthy boundaries and healthy relationships. PLUS, she introduces the toxic communication pattern of DARVO to the pod. BLEW MY MIND. Here's a case study in case you want another example of how DARVO works. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Turns out we all do it and turns out it's no buens. Not only does it make us feel like shit, but it also puts a huge strain on relationships. Not to mention the fact that sometimes taking something personally can lead us to deep depression and suicidal ideation. In this episode, I welcome marriage and family therapist Renee Tate back to the pod to talk about why we do it, how it impacts our lives, and how we heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Cool fact: One time when I was like 16, I painted a girl looking terrified while someone covered her mouth with their hand so she couldn't speak. WHAT?? I'd forgotten about it completely until I was recently combing through old photos and was like: WOWWWWW THIS IS FUCKED. So many of us grew up feeling like we were invisible, powerless, and voiceless, and then we grew up and came to feel exactly the same way—it impacts our relationships, our communication, everything. In this episode, I welcome licensed clinical social worker, spiritual herbalist, and tarot reader Nat Strafaci to the show to talk about working through this pain and coming out the other side. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

We're not talkin' nostalgia, baby! Emotional flashbacks happen when we experienced ongoing abuse as children, and then we get a whiff of that experience as adults, (like, maybe you hear people yelling in the apartment next door or someone takes a long time to text you back (in the case of neglect or abandonment)) and suddenly our emotional state is FUCKED. The crazy thing is how often we have these flashbacks *without ever knowing that that's what's happening*—and instead of taking care of our post-traumatic stress, we go into a shame spiral thinking we're fucked up and crazy because we literally have no idea what's happening to us. BOOOOO—total shit scenario. To shed some light on all this, I welcome psychotherapist Amanda Ichihashi Jagerman back to the show to help us get clarity on how emotional flashbacks work and how we work with them. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Emotional neglect! Just rolls off the tongue. It's a fun form of trauma that doesn't get the fanfare it deserves (all y'all out there searching CPTSD and anxious attachment style while emotional neglect is just over here alone in the corner ). But honestly—it's a tough topic to talk about because it's the *absence* of a thing. It's what *didn't* happen. And so it often goes unnoticed and unhealed, when actually the effects of emotional neglect go SUPER deep and show up all over our lives. In this episode, I welcome back intuitive healer and coach Jess Taylor to talk us through what it looks like, how it impacts our relationships, and how we heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

DEEP BREATH. Let me just start by saying, I HATE the term "daddy issues." It's SO sexist and misogynistic that men abuse their daughters, and then women become the ones who are shamed for it. So if you're feeling stigmatized for struggling emotionally because of your relationship (or lack thereof) with your dad, please know that you can let go of that shame. You aren't responsible for the abuse visited upon you, AND—when we're hurt right at the center of us—it's imperative that we get honest about how it's impacted us so that we can grow out of the fear, anxiety, truncated self-worth, and despair that can become second nature. In this episode, I welcome couples and family therapist Camila España to the show to talk about what the father/daughter wound is, how it impacts our relationships, and how we heal. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Sigh. We've all done it. We do it all the time. We do it in our relationships, in our search for relationships, with body image, in our careers: "If only I had this thing, I'd be happy. I'd be okay." Such a fuckin bummer. In this issue, I'm joined by somatic therapist and NLP coach Michelle Keinan to get to the root of why we do this and what it looks to heal so that we can finally feel whole within ourselves. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or you can call 988 to connect with the national Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

It already sucks to be broke, but for a lot of us, there's a lot more to money trauma than that. There's the feeling that you're not safe, the feeling that God or The Universe has abandoned you, the feeling of depression associated with money scarcity. In this episode, I welcome trauma psychologist and leadership coach Isha Vela to the show to talk about the connection between money trauma and relationship trauma, the somatic approach to understanding money fears, and how we heal our relationship to money. The contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or you can call 988 to connect with the national Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Hold up, wait a minute! [Insert Salt 'n Pepa rap] DO YOU KNOW ABOUT INTERMITTENT REINFORCEMENT??? It basically explains why we get stuck in relationships with people who treat us like human ball sacks! You guys. It's science. It's real. Lab rats were involved. And we HAVE to address it if we want to find relationships (romantic, platonic, professional—you name it) that actually meet our needs and make us happy. (Pro tip: Are you anxiously attached? Yes? Then you're even MORE likely to stay in relationships that involve intermittent reinforcement.) In this episode, I welcome licensed therapist and yoga teacher turned coach Sarah Snyder to talk to us about healing this deeply ingrained, super painful pattern. The information provided on this podcast is for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or you can call 988 to connect with the national Suicide & Crisis Hotline.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thepatraumaparty/support

Turns out there's healthy guilt (like when you realize you need to apologize for something) and unhealthy guilt (like when your parents make you feel like shit for holding them accountable). When guilt is weaponized against us, especially as children, it can turn into shame, and shame can—and WILL—turn into a whole clusterfuck of mental health bummers. In this episode, I welcome psychotherapist Allison Ly to the show to talk us through reclaiming a healthy relationship to guilt. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thepatraumaparty/support

Literally how does anyone survive dating—it's truly the worst. And if you're insecurely attached, it's straight up a minefield of triggers waiting to take you down. Then there's the alternative: never dating anyone—also terrible!! In this episode, I welcome somatic psychotherapist and coach Felicia Keller Boyle (@the_bad_therapist) to get into peak dating nightmare: BEING GHOSTED! (dun Dun DUN!) alongside the trauma of being single for like, ever. The information provided on this podcast is for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or you can call 988 to connect with the national Suicide & Crisis Hotline. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thepatraumaparty/support

Mmmmm... that cool feeling that you're gonna claw someone's eyes out and smile while doing it. Jealousy sucks. It makes us feel powerless, and insecure, and it brings up all our shit. In this episode, I welcome licensed clinician Andrea Brognano to talk about why jealousy feels so shameful, what lies underneath it, and how we heal.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thepatraumaparty/support