Any process in an organism in which a relatively long-lasting adaptive behavioral change occurs as the result of experience
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Sarah Eustis, CEO of Main Street Hospitality, shares how art plays a direct role in how she leads and drives performance across her portfolio. She explains why her team invests in Artist in Residence programs, rotating galleries, and cultural programming as a way to create energy guests feel the moment they walk in. Sarah also talks about why she avoids standard hotel art packages and instead focuses on work with real meaning and local connection. Toward the end, she reveals an unexpected benefit of art that influences leadership, culture, and how people experience each day.See our earlier conversations: From 14-Year-Old Housekeeper to Ralph Lauren to CEO: What I've Learned in Hotel Management and Beyond The Box and the Wavy Line: A Smarter Way to Lead Hospitality A few more resources: If you're new to Hospitality Daily, start here. You can send me a message here with questions, comments, or guest suggestions If you want to get my summary and actionable insights from each episode delivered to your inbox each day, subscribe here for free. Follow Hospitality Daily and join the conversation on YouTube, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you want to advertise on Hospitality Daily, here are the ways we can work together. If you found this episode interesting or helpful, send it to someone on your team so you can turn the ideas into action and benefit your business and the people you serve! Music for this show is produced by Clay Bassford of Bespoke Sound: Music Identity Design for Hospitality Brands
Sarah Eustis, CEO of Main Street Hospitality, shares how she thinks about growth through the lens of irreplaceability. She explains why historic hotels with emotional and cultural relevance often present stronger long-term opportunities than new builds, especially in today's environment. The conversation explores stewardship as an operating and investment discipline, where thoughtful repositioning, branding, and revenue management unlock value without erasing identity. Hospitality leaders will take away a clear framework for building durable advantage by leaning into what makes a property impossible to replace.See Sarah's TEDx talk: Old Wine in New Bottles: Generational Hospitality & ReinventionSee our earlier conversations: From 14-Year-Old Housekeeper to Ralph Lauren to CEO: What I've Learned in Hotel Management and Beyond The Box and the Wavy Line: A Smarter Way to Lead Hospitality A few more resources: If you're new to Hospitality Daily, start here. You can send me a message here with questions, comments, or guest suggestions If you want to get my summary and actionable insights from each episode delivered to your inbox each day, subscribe here for free. Follow Hospitality Daily and join the conversation on YouTube, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you want to advertise on Hospitality Daily, here are the ways we can work together. If you found this episode interesting or helpful, send it to someone on your team so you can turn the ideas into action and benefit your business and the people you serve! Music for this show is produced by Clay Bassford of Bespoke Sound: Music Identity Design for Hospitality Brands
Incogni advertisement“Use code [YOUR-UNIQUE-CODE] at the linkbelow to get an exclusive 60% off an annualIncogni plan: https://incog-ni.com/your-unique-code” Your URL is: https://incogni.com/earthancientsDestiny: Ronnie Pontiac, The Rosicrucian Counterculture (show notes)A cultural exploration of the esoteric movement and its historical impact and legacy• Examines the Rosicrucian involvement of figures like Rene Descartes, Robert Fludd, John Dee, Elias Ashmole, and the alchemist pirate Prince Rupert of the Rhine• Traces the saga of Rudolf II, Holy Roman Emperor, and his countercultural successors Frederick and Elizabeth, who triggered the Thirty Years' War• Shows how Rosicrucianism inspired the English Revolution and explores the Rosicrucianism of John Winthrop the Younger, Connecticut's founderSince the appearance of Rosicrucian manuscripts in 17th-century Germany, historians have questioned the authorship, intent, and significance of this esoteric movement. In this book, Ronnie Pontiac shows how Rosicrucianism's underground influence in the early-modern period continues to the present, providing the important historical context of this invisible society.Pontiac looks at the esoteric culture around Holy Roman Emperor Rudolf II and his court, including figures like John Dee, Tycho Brahe, and Rabbi Loew, the legendary creator of the Golem of Prague. Despite occultists' fascination with Rudolf 's successors, Frederick and Elizabeth, at the start of the Thirty Years' War—and Rosicrucian efforts to make Frederick the first Protestant Holy Roman Emperor—the esoteric renaissance in Bohemia was short-lived. However, this wasn't the end of Rosicrucianism.Pontiac explores the movement's impact on Oliver Cromwell and the English Revolution as well as individuals such as Robert Fludd, René Descartes, Elias Ashmole, Moritz the Learned, Paracelsus, and William Shakespeare. He then details the movement's arrival in the New World, including the Rosicrucian activities of Connecticut's alchemist governor, John Winthrop the Younger. Looking to the present, Pontiac shows how both pop culture and the modern psychedelic counterculture are informed by Rosicrucian ideas, showing the enduring legacy of this esoteric movement.Ronnie Pontiac worked as Manly P. Hall's research assistant for seven years. A producer of award-winning documentaries, he is the author of American Metaphysical Religion and coauthor with Tamra Lucid of The Magic of the Orphic Hymns and the 10-part YouTube video series The Unobstructed Way.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/earth-ancients--2790919/support.
Do you consider yourself GenX? Do you know someone who was born between 1965-1980? Don't miss this episode inspired by a TikTok on “The Top GenX Blindspots”. Whoa! For me, and many midlife women, these are things we learned to do to survive in a system where our emotional and mental needs weren't met. We were pretty ingenious actually, one might even say, warrior like! Yet, as adults, these adaptive, protective strategies become maladaptive and hurt us and our relationships. Join me as I explain how the way we were raised might be quietly sabotaging our emotional wellbeing and the health of our relationships. If you have ever wondered why you say you are fine when you are not, why you push your own needs aside, or why you feel responsible for everyone around you, this episode will help so much. And I don't leave you hanging - after listening, you'll have some simple strategies to help you care for yourself, connect more deeply, and begin shifting patterns that have been in place for decades. This episode is the perfect starting point as we begin a new year and move toward February's relationship healing work in the Love Your Life School. Join me, fellow GenX woman, as I look at three hidden patterns that are probably playing out in your relationships and affecting your mental health. If you liked this show, you'll love these two: Learned helplessness on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/274-overfunctioning-and-learned-helplessness/id1434429161?i=1000634097009 Learned helplessness on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/4MF4IJSaVSMpfNhRAb7wyN?si=JuwR8qQnRiydi4fKDz1UDw Enmeshment interview with Dr. Kate Balestrieri on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/enmeshment-codependency-with-dr-kate-balestrieri/id1434429161?i=1000733979384 Enmeshment interview with Dr. Kate Balestrieri on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/6WMOkGaEpLNHcmvF0W5JTa?si=kMALGFXuTQWzb-oFH5qDGQ Get the full show notes here
In this episode of Ditch the Labcoat, Dr. Mark Bonta does something different. For the first time on the podcast, he speaks with a former patient.Nora Rabah Rodden joins the show not as a clinician, but as someone who lived for years with debilitating symptoms that medicine couldn't explain or fix. Despite normal tests and repeated reassurance, her pain, GI symptoms, fatigue, and nervous system distress persisted. What she encountered instead was a gap in care. Not a lack of effort, but a lack of framework.Nora shares how learning about neuroplasticity and nervous system patterning finally gave her symptoms context. Not imagined. Not psychological. Learned, reinforced, and reversible. That experience became the foundation for why she later co-founded Nervana.Together, they explore why so many patients are dismissed once serious disease is ruled out, how threat signaling and conditioned responses can keep the body stuck in symptoms, and why telling patients “nothing is wrong” is often the most harmful message of all. The conversation breaks down the science of neuroplastic recovery in plain language, while staying honest about its limits and responsibilities.This episode is about what happens when medicine runs out of explanations, and what becomes possible when we stop treating unexplained symptoms as a dead end and start treating the nervous system as something that can learn, adapt, and heal.Nora's Link : https://www.trynervana.com/Episode Takeaways 1. Patient Experience Matters: Normal tests do not equal normal lives. Symptoms can persist even when disease is ruled out.2. Neuroplastic Symptoms Are Real: Learned nervous system patterns can drive pain, GI distress, fatigue, and insomnia without structural damage.3. “Nothing Is Wrong” Is Harmful: Reassurance without explanation often deepens fear, confusion, and isolation.4. Symptoms Can Be Learned and Unlearned: The brain adapts quickly, for better or worse, and those patterns are reversible.5. This Is Not Psychosomatic: Neuroplastic recovery is grounded in neuroscience, not imagination or positive thinking.6. Awareness Changes Identity: When patients stop identifying with symptoms, recovery often begins.7. Recovery Is Gradual, Not Dramatic: Progress usually looks subtle, steady, and cumulative rather than sudden.8. Lived Experience Can Build Better Care: Nora's recovery is why Nervana exists, to close the gap medicine often leaves behind.Episode Timestamps04:18 – Why This Episode Is Different: The First Patient Voice08:36 – When Tests Are Normal but Symptoms Are Not13:09 – The Gap Between Disease and Dysfunction18:52 – Neuroplasticity Explained Without the Jargon24:35 – Why “Nothing Is Wrong” Can Be Harmful30:13 – How the Nervous System Learns Symptoms36:56 – What Recovery Actually Looks Like in Practice43:14 – Turning Lived Experience Into a Care FrameworkDISCLAMER >>>>>> The Ditch Lab Coat podcast serves solely for general informational purposes and does not serve as a substitute for professional medical services such as medicine or nursing. It does not establish a doctor/patient relationship, and the use of information from the podcast or linked materials is at the user's own risk. The content does not aim to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and users should promptly seek guidance from healthcare professionals for any medical conditions. >>>>>> The expressed opinions belong solely to the hosts and guests, and they do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Hospitals, Clinics, Universities, or any other organization associated with the host or guests. Disclosures: Ditch The Lab Coat podcast is produced by (soundsdebatable.com) and is independent of Dr. Bonta's teaching and research roles at McMaster University, Temerty Faculty of Medicine and Queens University.
Target Market Insights: Multifamily Real Estate Marketing Tips
Phil DePaul is a home-services entrepreneur and the CEO of Boom Zell Enterprises, which includes United Water Restoration Group of Long Island and 1-Tom-Plumber Long Island. Raised in a blue-collar household with a father who was a plumber, Phil spent more than a decade helping scale a family-owned plumbing wholesale business before leaving to build companies of his own. Today, he focuses on restoration, plumbing, and related services, with a leadership philosophy centered on action, accountability, and restoring people before properties. Make sure to download our free guide, 7 Questions Every Passive Investor Should Ask, here. Key Takeaways Understand why restoration is about restoring people before repairing property Learn how action and momentum matter more than perfect planning in entrepreneurship See why plumbing is the leading cause of water damage in multifamily properties Recognize the importance of proactive vendor relationships for property managers Topics From Blue-Collar Roots to Entrepreneurship Grew up with a plumber father but pursued a different path early on Spent 14 years helping scale a plumbing wholesale business Hit a ceiling and chose to leave to build something of his own Becoming a "Visionary With No Vision" Entered entrepreneurship without a clear end goal Learned by taking action rather than over-planning Emphasized momentum, adaptability, and execution What Restoration Really Means Restoration addresses sudden, accidental property damage Common causes include water, fire, smoke, and mold Mitigation focuses on reducing damage before it spreads Restoring the Person First Homeowners are often panicked and overwhelmed during a loss Effective restoration starts with empathy and trust The goal is to restore peace of mind before rebuilding property Multifamily Complexity and Stakeholder Management Multifamily losses involve tenants, owners, and property managers Conflicting priorities create tension during emergencies Restoration providers must balance empathy with business realities Why Proactivity Matters in Multifamily Plumbing failures are the leading cause of water damage Preventative maintenance reduces catastrophic losses Strong vendor relationships help property managers respond faster
What if focusing on listings could transform your real estate business from chasing clients to having them chase you? In this episode I sit down with Maria Quattrone, Philadelphia's "expired queen," who's built a machine that consistently delivers over 100 transactions per year.We unpack the exact strategies behind her listing-focused approach, from her three-step expired letter system to the relationship-building tactics that turned cold leads into a thriving referral network. Inside this episode:How Maria transitioned from radio sales to real estate powerhouse in 22 yearsThe expired listing system that made her Philadelphia's go-to agentHer three-step letter strategy that gets sellers calling herWhy perceived value matters more than actual value in today's marketHow to build genuine relationships that lead to repeat business and referrals Want the resources Maria mentioned? Follow Maria on Instagram: @mariaquattrone . https://mqrealestate.com/The Neighborhood Real Estate Agent is proudly sponsored by Treadstone Funding and Neighborhood Loans. For more tangible tips in real estate marketing, check out Matt's book, The Tangible Action Guide for Real Estate Marketing available on Amazon.
If you're an introvert who freezes up around women, help is here. Dating coach Connell Barrett welcomes Charlie, a client who went from from doubting his romantic worth to meeting his dream girlfriend Rachel. Connell and Charlie cover the mindset shifts and real-world wins that worked—and they talk some baseball, too. If you want to find your person, this episode is your roadmap.Episode Highlights:11:38: The Two Toxic Thoughts that Kept Charlie Stuck17:23: The Weekend of Approaching that Changed Everything21:12: The Dating Lesson he Learned from MLB Baseball34:44: The Moment Rachel Saw Him Differently47:05: When He Destroyed His Fear of Rejection53:11: Charlie's Advice to Introverts who Feel Left BehindBOOK A FREE CALL WITH BESTSELLING AUTHOR CONNELL BARRETT TO LEARN IF 1-ON-1 COACHING IS RIGHT FOR YOU: DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL TO GET A FREE COPY OF HIS BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON'T”: connell@datingtransformation.com
Colette Jane Fehr a marriage counselor, EMDR therapist, and author of "The Cost of Quiet." With over two decades of experience helping individuals and couples navigate relationship challenges, Colette specializes in teaching people how to communicate vulnerably and assertively in their most important relationships. Episode Overview In this powerful conversation, Dr. Debi Silber sits down with therapist and author Colette Fehr to explore why speaking up in relationships is essential for healing, growth, and genuine connection—especially after betrayal. Colette shares her personal journey from childhood trauma to relationship betrayal, and how these experiences shaped her understanding of healthy communication and the devastating cost of staying quiet. Key Topics Discussed The Origins of Conflict Avoidance How childhood experiences with parental conflict shape our relationship patterns The difference between destructive conflict (screaming, fighting) and constructive conflict (honest, vulnerable communication) Why some people mistake silence and "keeping the peace" for relationship health The concept of parentification and how it impacts adult relationships Understanding "The Cost of Quiet" Quiet as a euphemism for conflict avoidance Different forms of conflict avoidance that people don't recognize: Self-silencing and sweeping things under the rug Criticism disguised as "expressing feelings" Bickering about surface issues instead of deeper needs Why avoiding vulnerability doesn't actually protect you from pain The Four Bad Communication Report Card Responses (The Four D's and an F) Dismissiveness - "It's no big deal, why are you so upset?" Defensiveness - Getting reactive instead of receptive Distancing - Shutting down, stonewalling, pulling away Fixing - Problem-solving instead of listening and connecting Vulnerability as Strength Why vulnerability is actually the strongest choice you can make How to build the courage to be vulnerable after betrayal Connecting with your inner child before difficult conversations The only way through fear is action—building the vulnerability muscle Self-Connected Communication The importance of I-statements over you-statements Connecting to deeper emotional needs beyond surface complaints Speaking from your "core sage self" (wise, loving adult) rather than reactive parts The distinction between being nice (self-abandoning) and being kind (self-honoring) When to Speak Up Why waiting longer than 24 hours allows resentment to grow Common excuses that keep us from addressing issues (wrong time, they're tired, etc.) Most conversations don't need to be long—short, clear, vulnerable statements work best You can't control your partner's response, but you can control showing up for yourself Building the Assertiveness Muscle Why successful women often struggle with assertiveness in intimate relationships Starting small with low-stakes vulnerable moments The confidence boost that comes from speaking your truth How assertiveness differs from aggressiveness The Meta-Conversation Strategy When your partner repeatedly responds poorly to vulnerability: "I notice that I try to bring up things and share my feelings. I'm taking great effort to say things in a way that's tactful and diplomatic, but honest, and it seems like when I do, I get a defensive or dismissive response. I don't really know where to go from here. Have you noticed that? What's going on with you? Are you willing to work on this with me?" Signs It's Working Reduction in fear when bringing up difficult topics Growing confidence in expressing yourself Your partner responding with openness rather than defensiveness Feeling closer and more connected after vulnerable conversations Even if they don't respond well—you're getting information faster and can make empowered choices After Betrayal: Special Considerations Why vulnerability feels especially terrifying after intimate partner betrayal The connection to Stage 3 of the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough (doing the same thing expecting different results) How moving into Stages 4 and 5 requires having uncomfortable conversations Being vulnerable doesn't guarantee you won't get hurt, but not being vulnerable guarantees disconnection Vulnerability helps you discover more quickly what a relationship will or won't give you Powerful Quotes from the Episode "Being in a relationship is inherently unsafe. It is a risk. But if you're willing to be vulnerable, you're going to find out more quickly what a relationship will and will not give you, and you can make choices that empower and serve your needs." "It's actually not about the coffee cup. It's about the fact that lately I feel like I'm communicating with you and you're not hearing me, and that makes me feel inside—my vulnerable part feels like I'm not important to you." "You've got to speak up no matter what. I don't care how you were raised, what part of the country, what your personality was, who your partner is. This is something you do for you." "Vulnerability is strength, but it is very, very scary. We could be rejected or abandoned. But the only way through fear is by doing—action in the face of fear is what develops the muscle." "If your partner is repeatedly not listening, being dismissive, being defensive, then maybe that tells you something about, 'Do I want to invest in this relationship?' But if you're not being vulnerable and clear, then you're contributing to what's not working." "The point of feelings, the point of emotion, is that they're information processing signals that point us to our needs." "If you're going to bother to try to improve this relationship, we can't have anything better based on just fear of even speaking up." Colette's Personal Journey Childhood Experience: Idyllic childhood until age 10 when parents' marriage began deteriorating Parents (lawyer mother, doctor father) engaged in epic daily fighting Dealt with parental infidelity and eventual divorce Became parentified—taking on emotional mediator role inappropriate for her age Made meaning that she had to rely on herself because adults couldn't care for her properly Rebelled against Catholic school environment as a way of coping First Marriage: Married someone from a conflict-avoidant Southern family Partner was emotionally unavailable and disconnected When she tried to express feelings, received dismissive, defensive, or distancing responses Learned to silence herself to "keep the peace" Marriage failed after having children, leading her to return to graduate school Path to Her Work: Bad experience in marriage counseling inspired her to become a marriage counselor Spent 11 years between marriages dating and experiencing significant betrayals Been cheated on by two partners in ways that "gutted" her Now in second marriage of 9 years (together 12 years) Uses EMDR therapy in her practice Wrote "The Cost of Quiet" to provide a preventative roadmap for others Practical Takeaways Connect with your inner child before vulnerable conversations - Acknowledge the fear, reassure yourself you've got your own back no matter the outcome Use the template for vulnerable communication: Start small with low-stakes topics Use I-statements, not you-statements Speak to deeper needs, not just surface complaints Be specific about what you need Address issues within 24 hours - Don't let resentment build by waiting for the "perfect time" Watch for your own conflict avoidance patterns: Are you criticizing instead of being vulnerable? Are you bickering about surface issues? Are you staying silent to keep the peace? Remember: Vulnerability invites vulnerability - When you show up authentically, you often get authenticity back Let go of trying to control your partner's response - You can't manage how they'll react, but you can show up for yourself Apply this skill everywhere - Practice assertive, vulnerable communication in all relationships, not just romantic ones Resources Connect with Colette Fehr: Website: ColetteFehr.com Instagram: @ColetteJaneFehr TikTok: @ColetteJaneFehr Book: "The Cost of Quiet" (available on her website and wherever books are sold) Podcasts: "Insights from the Couch" (for women at midlife) "Love Thy Neighbor" (all about relationships) For Post Betrayal Syndrome® Recovery: Learn more about the Five Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough™ Visit The PBT Institute for resources on healing from betrayal and becoming a Certified PBT Coach or Practitioner Episode Themes #Communication #VulnerabilityIsStrength #BetrayalRecovery #HealthyRelationships #ConflictResolution #EmotionalIntelligence #Assertiveness #InnerChildWork #RelationshipHealing #SelfAdvocacy #TheCostOfQuiet
Wayne Gretzky joins Neil Smith and Vic Morren for the very first NHL Wraparound episode. The Great One discusses Connor McDavid and the Edmonton Oilers' remarkable 22-3 turnaround in their last 25 games, Connor Bedard adapting after Brendan Smith's legal jaw-breaking hit, generational players from Bobby Orr through Sidney Crosby to Austin Matthews potentially reaching 800 goals, and Alex Ovechkin's chase of 894. Hear about playing at 147 pounds in Indianapolis, learning from Bobby Clarke to play behind the net because Phil Esposito could stand in the box, why today's players are better than the 80s, Gordie Howe's class when records get broken, Edmonton's four-line success with Paul Coffey coaching defense and Mattias Ekholm's impact, Kenny Holland's patience at 2-9 not trading for a goalie, and transitioning to TNT with Liam McHugh, Anson Carter, Henrik Lundqvist and Paul Bissonnette who studies more than people realize. Plus the only wraparound goal Gretz remembers, steak vs salmon game day meals, playing against Mark Messier in Edmonton, and teaching Coyotes kids to be pros on a $25M payroll.IN THIS EPISODE:[00:00] - Welcome: First NHL Wraparound guest ever, Wayne Gretzky, The Great One[01:00] - Only wraparound goal Gretz remembers: Vancouver 1997 hat trick third goal[02:00] - Darren Blake traveling secretary: ordered salmon in Vancouver, Gretz wanted steak[03:00] - Steak and potato game day meal entire career, never eaten salmon on game day[04:00] - That night scored three goals, last one wraparound against Cloutier[05:00] - Today's kids: Nathan MacKinnon, Connor McDavid, practice tricks, get excited[06:00] - Gretz not comfortable with skills competition: nothing to gain, everything to lose[07:00] - Connor Bedard jaw injury: Brendan Smith legal hit coming through middle[08:00] - Smith answering the bell: showed teammates toughness, respect for game[09:00] - First day Indianapolis training camp: 147 pounds, Blaine Stoughton "this is our savior"[10:00] - Playing against bigger competition entire career: 6 vs 10-year-olds, 11 vs 12-year-olds[11:00] - 14 playing against 20-year-olds, 16 playing against 20-year-olds, never big[12:00] - Learned to protect myself through years of bigger competition[13:00] - Age 14 junior B coach Dean Pappas: Phil Esposito greatest center[14:00] - Esposito 500 shots one year, middle of box on power play, nobody could move him[15:00] - Coach: go home watch Bobby Clarke, played out of corners more than behind net[16:00] - Started playing behind net and corners because of size, copying Bobby Clarke[17:00] - Couldn't stand in middle of box: would've been on rear end, guys knocked you over[18:00] - Generational player definition: combination of skill, talent, consistency, championships[19:00] - Gordie Howe retired, Bobby Orr retired, Guy Lafleur retired, Mike Bossy retired[20:00] - Along came Mario Lemieux, Mark Messier, Steve Yzerman, game survived[21:00] - Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin: consistent every year, Crosby 37 having best year[22:00] - Both won championships, great for NHL, wonderful in communities[23:00] - Helping people less fortunate, helping kids who want to play hockey[24:00] - Not just on-ice, combination of ice, Stanley Cup, fitting into community[25:00] - Leon Draisaitl, Nathan MacKinnon, Mitch Marner, Austin Matthews, Connor McDavid next[26:00] - Great players, great for league, great in communities[27:00] - Never say we were better in 80s: these kids better than we were 40 years ago[28:00] - Progression: 20 years from now kids will be better than today, how NHL grows[29:00] - Impressed how kids handle themselves, play hard every night, show up competitive[30:00] - Winning Stanley Cup big part: MacKinnon and Makar won, Sidney won, Ovechkin
New year = new segments! In Episode 198 of Special Conditions, we roll out Burned or Learned, Behind the Booth, Sleeve it or Leave it, Sleepers & Steals, and Status: Recommended—plus a festive Card of the Day to kick things off.
What if witnessing 10 deaths in 23 years changed your view on life? In this episode, Kyle Skalisky shares how he helps teams build cultures of trust, respect, and accountability through his company Wyld Sky Aerospace and Management Consulting. After 23 years as a fighter pilot (F-15, F-16 aggressor, and F-18 in operational flight tests) and 15 years in the aerospace industry doing flight tests, Kyle recently stepped down as president and CEO of Check Six Aero Solutions to focus on giving back. His book "A Skyless Traveled: A Maverick Life of Leadership, Resilience, and the Pursuit of Purpose" shares lessons learned from the cockpit about building exceptional teams. Kyle believes good teams need three things: character (how people treat those who can do nothing for them), competence (people who can get the job done and are willing to learn), and commitment to the mission. He also wrote the book for his six and four-year-old sons, wanting to leave something showing what their father did for 50 years before they were born. Kyle reveals three relationships that shaped him: meeting President Ronald Reagan at his Air Force Academy graduation in 1984, whose speech about being solution-oriented rather than a naysayer set the tone for his career; his parents who married at 16, had six kids by 29, and just celebrated their 72nd wedding anniversary teaching him dedication and never giving up on people; and his best friend Malibu, a talented pilot who died at 30 when he hit the ground during a Red Flag exercise. Witnessing 10-11 deaths in 23 years of flying changed Kyle's perspective—he stopped worrying about what people thought and started pursuing what brought joy, realizing that if no one will remember it in five years, it's just not that important. [00:04:20] From CEO to Giving Back Recently stepped down as president and CEO of Check Six Aero Solutions Now runs Wyld Sky Aerospace and Management Consulting Wrote book "A Skyless Traveled: A Maverick Life of Leadership, Resilience, and the Pursuit of Purpose" Serves wonderful wife Dr. Kyra Carpenter and two boys Wilder (6) and Colt (4) [00:06:00] Why Write the Book Experience is great but people never get opportunity to pass it on to next generation All people's stories are wonderful, wishes more could tell them Wants to lift up next generation that will follow Wrote book for his 6 and 4-year-old boys as older father [00:06:40] Leaving a Legacy Doesn't know how long he gets to be with boys growing up Wanted to leave something showing 50 years before they were born Show what their father did and what he believed in Pass message down to true legacy: children and family [00:07:20] Growing Up in Wenatchee, Washington Parents married at 16, had six children by 29 Didn't have much but knew wanted to do something bigger Didn't fly on airplane until 17 years old, senior in high school First flight was to Air Force Academy physical at Whidbey Island [00:08:00] The First Flight That Changed Everything Had state playoff baseball game that afternoon across state Local orchardist Jim Wade flew him in Cessna 172 Flying over Cascade Mountains, seeing Mount Rainier was transformative Changed into uniform in car, was third batter, hit three-run homer off future major leaguer [00:09:00] Air Force Academy and Finding His Passion Second time flying was leaving for US Air Force Academy (only way to get to college) Got exposed to things small town guy never traveled beyond family station wagon Found passion for flying airplanes at young age Stumbled into it with no idea it would be 23 years as fighter pilot [00:10:00] Fighter Pilot Career Flew F-15 operationally around the world for 23 years Was F-16 aggressor (adversary/bad guy that trains combat pilots) Did exchange tour with US Navy, flew F-18 in operational flight tests Retired after 23 years, went to Raytheon [00:10:40] Entrepreneurial Years Owned Great Harvest Bread company franchise (had a bakery) Co-owner of pro indoor football league team in Spokane Taught him when it's your own money, think more about spending it Helped when managing other people's money at Raytheon and Mitsubishi [00:13:20] Proudest Moment: The Team That Didn't Need Me At Raytheon, experimental R&D test airplane transitioning from single customer Customer said they don't want exclusive use anymore, won't pay for it Five year task to redefine mission, vision, create new organization After five years: "This team doesn't need me anymore, they can do this without me" [00:14:40] From One Program to 15 Had to go out and advertise capability to other Raytheon programs Restructured team to support multiple test projects instead of just one Asset went from supporting one program to 15-16 programs Worth billions of dollars in sales to Raytheon [00:15:40] Mitsubishi: Six Months of Success Mitsubishi trying to certify new regional jet, program having problems Took over program management and flight test team Program for previous 5 years never met schedule or been on budget Within first month, for next 6 months straight met schedule and under budget [00:17:00] Refocusing the Team Just through refocusing team, aligning tasks to priorities Giving people clear idea of what they did and why important to mission Aligned the focus and became best flight test team in business Better than Boeing, Airbus, Bombardier, Embraer or any large OEMs [00:19:00] Character, Competence, and Commitment Good teams have people full of character (how they treat those who can do nothing for them) Team needs competence (people who can get job done, willing to learn and improve) Third C is commitment to what they're doing Finding right people with all three is when you will succeed [00:21:20] Meeting President Ronald Reagan Air Force Academy graduation 1984, Reagan handed him diploma Speech that day embodied how Kyle wanted to live his life Not enough to be naysayer pointing out everything wrong Have to be person who can bring forward solutions [00:22:40] Reagan's Impact Shaped views about what was valuable throughout life Optimistic but understood reality, charismatic but not fake Had guiding principles but willing to change Genuinely liked people (important for any leader) [00:24:00] His Parents' Influence Parents are who really had impact on who he became Never made it feel like they gave up something for kids Felt true blessing was getting to have kids in their lives Father was athlete of year, worked morning job, bartended at night while in college [00:25:40] 72 Years Together Parents both 88 years old, just had 72nd wedding anniversary Even when times are hard, don't give up on people, work through it Father didn't become major league player but channeled into coaching Oldest brother became professional baseball player with Philadelphia Phillies [00:27:00] Learning to Live in the Moment Finding joy means learning to live in the moment Let go of past but learn lessons, don't let it define you Don't be so focused on future that you forget what's in front of you Take opportunities that may take you on detour in life [00:28:20] Losing Malibu Best friend Jim "Malibu" Reynolds was academy graduate, talented flyer Designed and built own aerobatic airplane, flew in air shows Made mistake on range in Red Flag exercise, hit ground and died at 30 Changed Kyle at 30 years old, realized it can all end very quickly [00:29:40] 10 Deaths in 23 Years Saw at least 10-11 deaths in 23 years of flying Changed how he looked at things and approached them Before worried about everything, how people thought of him Now: if no one will remember in 5 years, it's just not that important [00:33:00] The Squadron Bar Ritual Friday nights not just about drinking, it's a ritual Chance to bond with people going through similar experience Way to relax, find friendship and bonding in non-retribution way Learned more in one-on-one conversations than formal meetings KEY QUOTES "I wrote a book because I have those six and four-year-old boys. I am an older father and I don't know how long I get to be with those boys growing up. I wanted to leave something to show for those 50 years before they were born, what their father did and what I believed in." - Kyle Skalisky "Good teams have people full of character. You can't define that on a resume. It's how people treat those who can do nothing for them. But you also have to have competence. Then the third C is commitment." - Kyle Skalisky CONNECT WITH KYLE SKALISKY
It's my 52nd birthday! I'm sharing 5 things that I've learned in my five decades! Mostly about decluttering, but also about life. Dana’s new children’s book is coming Feb. 17th! Preorder now! https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/book Want to be a patron of the show? Find out how at Patreon. My YouTube Channel! Want to find a decluttering coach?? […] The post 493: 52 Things I’ve Learned at Age 52 (Just Kidding. 5.) appeared first on Dana K. White: A Slob Comes Clean.
The Tropical MBA Podcast - Entrepreneurship, Travel, and Lifestyle
Dan and Ian take a candid look back at 2025, share highlights and lowlights from the year, and give a sneak peek into what's next for Dynamite Circle. LINKS Bento will beat your current email bill — up to 70% off or $300 in credits Ramit Sethi's Money for Couples Remote First Recruiting: Land your next hire in 21 days or less Meet lifestyle founders inside Dynamite Circle Hang out exclusively with 7+ figure founders in DC BLACK CHAPTERS (00:01:56) Personal Finance: The First Step to Entrepreneurship (00:09:02) Why You Need an Annual Theme (00:13:03) Business Updates (00:19:45) Professional Empowerment for Your Team Leaders (00:25:53) Consistency in Delivering a Great Product (00:30:31) What We've Learned from Hosting Executive Coaching (00:34:36) Under the Hood at Dynamite Circle (00:41:02) Highlights and Lowlights of 2025 (00:49:03) Our Themes for 2026 CONNECT: Dan@tropicalmba.com Ian@tropicalmba.com Past guests on TMBA include Cal Newport, David Heinemeier Hannson, Seth Godin, Ricardo Semler, Noah Kagan, Rob Walling, Jay Clouse, Einar Vollset, Sam Dogan, Gino Wickam, James Clear, Jodie Cook, Mark Webster, Steph Smith, Taylor Pearson, Justin Tan, Matt Gartland, Ayman Al-Abdullah, Lucy Bella. PLAYLIST: How to Actually Build Systems in Your Small Business ft. Layla Pomper The 9-5 is Dead, This is the Socially Acceptable Lottery Ticket Your 2026 Business Plan in 36 Minutes [FREE Resource]
Send us a textEvery January 24, the world celebrates the International Day of Education, a reminder that learning remains one of the most powerful drivers of opportunity, mobility, and social progress.In this special compilation episode of AI and the Future of Work, we revisit conversations with education leaders, university deans, and workforce innovators exploring how AI is transforming learning, access, credentials, and lifelong education.From academic integrity and digital classrooms to reskilling and future-ready education models, this episode highlights one essential truth: technology can accelerate learning, but education must remain human-centered.Featuring insights from:Chris Caren (CEO, Turnitin) - Listen to the full conversation here: https://aiandthefutureofwork.buzzsprout.com/520474/episodes/15780222 Marni Baker Stein (Chief Content Officer, Coursera) - Listen to the full conversation here: https://aiandthefutureofwork.buzzsprout.com/520474/episodes/17359747 Dave Treat (Chief Technology Officer, Pearson) - Listen to the full conversation here: https://aiandthefutureofwork.buzzsprout.com/520474/episodes/17557154 Dave Marchick (Dean, Kogod School of Business, American University) - Listen to the full conversation here: https://aiandthefutureofwork.buzzsprout.com/520474/episodes/17119724 Gary Bolles (Chair for the Future of Work, Singularity University) - Listen to the full conversation here: https://aiandthefutureofwork.buzzsprout.com/520474/episodes/9236086 What You'll Learn:How AI is reshaping education and digital learning modelsWhy academic integrity matters more than ever in the age of generative AIHow universities and platforms expand access to global educationWhy lifelong learning and reskilling are becoming essential career skillsHow educators prepare students for future work and leadershipWhich human skills remain critical in an AI-driven economyInspired by something you heard?Share this episode with someone passionate about education and the future of learning. And don't forget to subscribe for more conversations with the leaders shaping the future of work.Other special episodes: Lessons from Four Unicorn CEOs Disrupting Massive Markets with AI (Special Episode)Artificial General Intelligence: Can Machines Really Think Like Us? (Special Episode)Ethical AI in Hiring: How to Stay Compliant While Building a Fairer Future of Work (HR Day Special Episode)AI and the Law: How AI Will Change Legal Careers (Special Episode)AI and Safety: How Responsible Tech Leaders Build Trustworthy Systems (National Safety Month Special)Lessons from Leaders: How AI Is Redefining Work and the Human Experience (Labor Day Special Episode)365: What We've Learned from 364 Expert Conversations (Special Episode)
In this episode, Sarah Eustis, CEO of Main Street Hospitality, shares why having a clear point of view defines effective leadership. Drawing from her early career inside global fashion brands, she explains how leaders build trust by showing up with conviction, articulating rationale, and setting direction instead of reacting to others. See our earlier conversation: From 14-Year-Old Housekeeper to Ralph Lauren to CEO: What I've Learned in Hotel Management and Beyond - Sarah Eustis, Main Street Hospitality Group A few more resources: If you're new to Hospitality Daily, start here. You can send me a message here with questions, comments, or guest suggestions If you want to get my summary and actionable insights from each episode delivered to your inbox each day, subscribe here for free. Follow Hospitality Daily and join the conversation on YouTube, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you want to advertise on Hospitality Daily, here are the ways we can work together. If you found this episode interesting or helpful, send it to someone on your team so you can turn the ideas into action and benefit your business and the people you serve! Music for this show is produced by Clay Bassford of Bespoke Sound: Music Identity Design for Hospitality Brands
‣ Apply to Join Dieting From The Inside Out Here: https://inquire.hamiltontrained.com‣ Grab the Food Noise Solution Guide Here: https://inquire.hamiltontrained.com/food-noise40 years of food struggles fixed in 6 weeks. Meet Susan, who went from constant shame and food obsession to 95% of her food noise GONE. "I was so afraid to feel the feelings that I would distract myself with food. Now I can just pause and sit with whatever I'm feeling."SUSAN'S TRANSFORMATION:- Food noise dropped 95% in 6 weeks- Struggled for 40 years with food- Shame is gone- Weight coming off naturally- Learned to feel emotions instead of eating- Became the example for her daughterTIMESTAMPS(00:00) - Learning to Feel Instead of Eat(00:56) - Intro(02:30) - Susan's Story(07:47) - Finding the Program(12:06) - Week 1-6: What Changed(15:30) - Breaking Through Shame(18:47) - Learning to Pause & Feel(22:15) - Food Going From Loud to Quiet(28:12) - "It's Not Screaming Anymore" (Food Noise Basically Gone)(32:57) - Protecting Her Daughter's Future(39:45) - Healing the Missing Piece(46:07) - Susan's Final Advice(46:27) - Next Steps If You Need Help
Welcome back to Snafu with Robin P. Zander. In this episode, I'm doing something a little different: I step into the guest seat for a conversation with one of my good friends, Andrew Bartlow, recorded for the People Leader Accelerator podcast alongside Jessica Yuen. We dive into storytelling, identity, and leadership — exploring how personal experiences shape professional influence. The conversation begins with a reflection on family and culture, from the Moroccan textiles behind me, made by my mother, to the influence of my father's environmental consulting work. These threads of personal history frame my lifelong fascination with storytelling, persuasion, and coalition-building. Andrew and Jessica guide the discussion through how storytelling intersects with professional growth. We cover how early experiences — like watching Lawrence of Arabia at a birthday sleepover — sparked curiosity about adventure, influence, and human connection, and how these interests evolved into a career focused on organizational storytelling and leadership. We explore practical frameworks, including my four-part story model (Setup → Change → Turning → Resolution) and the power of "twists" to create momentum and memorability. The episode also touches on authentic messaging, the role of vulnerability in leadership, and why practicing storytelling in everyday life—outside high-stakes moments—builds confidence and executive presence over time. Listeners will hear lessons from a lifetime of diverse experiences: running a café in the Mission District, collaborating with BJ Fogg on behavioral change, building Zander Media, and applying storytelling to align teams and organizations. We also discuss how authenticity and personal perspective remain a competitive advantage in an age of AI-generated content. If you're curious about how storytelling, practice, and presence intersect with leadership, persuasion, and influence, this episode is for you. And for more insights on human connection, organizational alignment, and the future of work, check out Snafu, my weekly newsletter on sales, persuasion, and storytelling here, and Responsive Conference, where we explore leadership, work, and organizational design here. Start (0:00) Storytelling & Identity Robin introduces Moroccan textiles behind him Made by his mother, longtime practicing artist Connects to Moroccan fiancée → double meaning of personal and cultural Reflection on family influence Father: environmental consulting firm Mother: artist Robin sees himself between their careers Early Fascination with Storytelling Childhood obsession with Morocco and Lawrence of Arabia Watched 4-hour movie at age 6–7 Fascinated by adventure, camels, storytelling, persuasion Early exposure shaped appreciation for coalition-building and influence Identity & Names Jess shares preference for "Jess" → casual familiarity Robin shares professional identity as "Xander" Highlights fluidity between personal and professional selves Childhood Experiences & Social Context Watching Lawrence of Arabia at birthday sleepover Friends uninterested → early social friction Andrew parallels with daughters and screen preferences Childhood experiences influence perception and engagement Professional Background & Storytelling Application Robin's long involvement with PeopleTech and People Leader Accelerator Created PLA website, branding, documented events Mixed pursuits: dance, media, café entrepreneurship Demonstrates applying skills across domains Collaboration with BJ Fogg → behavioral change expertise Storytelling as Connection and Alignment Robin: Storytelling pulls from personal domains and makes it relevant to others Purpose: foster connection → move together in same direction Executive relevance: coalition building, generating momentum, making the case for alignment Andrew: HR focus on connection, relationships, alignment, clarity Helps organizations move faster, "grease the wheels" for collaboration Robin's Credibility and Experience in Storytelling Key principle: practice storytelling more than listening Full-time entrepreneur for 15 years First business at age 5: selling pumpkins Organized neighborhood kids in scarecrow costumes to help sell Earned $500 → early lessons in coalition building and persuasion Gymnastics and acrobatics: love of movement → performance, discipline Café entrepreneurship: Robin's Cafe in Mission District, SF Started with 3 weeks' notice to feed conference attendees Housed within a dance studio → intersection of dance and behavioral change First experience managing full-time employees Learned the importance of storytelling for community building and growth Realized post-sale missed opportunity: storytelling could have amplified success Transition to Professional Storytelling (Zander Media) Lessons from cafe → focus on storytelling, messaging, content creation Founded Zander Media (2018) Distributed small team, specializes in narrative strategy and video production Works with venture-backed companies and HR teams to tell stories internally and externally Provides reps and depth in organizational storytelling Why Storytelling Matters for Organizations Connects people, fosters alignment Enables faster movement toward shared goals Storytelling as a "powerful form of connection" What Makes a Good Story Robin: frameworks exist, but ultimately humans want: Education, entertainment, attention Sustained attention (avoid drift to TikTok, distractions) Framework examples: Hero's Journey (Joseph Campbell) → 17 steps Dan Harmon's 8-part structure → simplified version of Hero's Journey Robin's preferred model: 4-part story structure (details/examples forthcoming) The Power of the Twist, and Organizational Storytelling Robin's Four-Part Story Model Core idea: stories work best when they follow a simple arc Setup → Change → Turning (twist/reveal) → Resolution Goal: not rigid frameworks, but momentum, surprise, payoff The "Turning" (Twist) as the Sticky Moment Pixar example via Steve Jobs and the iPod Nano Setup: Apple's dominance, market context, long build-up Choice point: Option A: just reveal the product Option B (chosen): pause + curiosity Turning: the "tiny jeans pocket" question Reveal: iPod Nano pulled from the pocket Effect: entertainment, disruption, memorability Key insight: The twist creates pause, delight, and attention This moment often determines whether a story is remembered Why Flat Stories Fail Example (uninspiring): "I ran a cafe → wanted more marketing → now I run Xander Media" Improved arc with turning: Ran a cafe → wanted to do more marketing → sold it on Craigslist → built Xander Media Lesson: A reveal or risk creates narrative energy The Four Parts in Practice Setup The world as it is (Bilbo in the Shire) Change Something disrupts the norm (Gandalf arrives) Turning Twist, reveal, or surprise (the One Ring) Resolution Payoff and return (Bilbo back to the Shire) How to Use This as a Leader Don't force stories into frameworks Look at stories you already tell Identify where a disruption, surprise, or reveal could live Coalition-building lens Stories should move people into shared momentum Excitement → flow → aligned action Storytelling Mediums for HR & Organizations Employer brand ≠ separate from company brand Should be co-owned by HR and marketing Brand clarity attracts the right people, repels the wrong ones Strong brands are defined by: Who they are Who they are not Who they're for and not for HR vs Marketing: The Nuance Collaboration works only if: HR leads on audience and truth Marketing supports execution, not control Risk: Marketing optimizes for customers, not employees HR understands attraction, retention, culture fit Storytelling at the Individual Level No one is "naturally" good or bad at storytelling It's reps, not talent Practical advice: Know your ~15 core stories (career, company, turning points) Practice pauses like a comedian Notice when people lean in Opinionated Messaging = Effective Messaging Internal storytelling should: Be clear and opinionated Repel as much as it attracts Avoid: Corporate vanilla Saying a lot without saying anything Truth + Aspirational Truth Marketing and storytelling are a mix of: What is actually true What the organization is becoming Being "30% more honest" builds trust Including flaws and tradeoffs Example: budget brands, Southwest, Apple's office-first culture Why This Works Opinions create personality Personality creates stickiness Stickiness creates memory, alignment, and momentum Authenticity as the last real advantage We're flooded with AI-generated content (video, writing, everything) Humans are extremely good at sensing what feels fake Inauthenticity is easier to spot than ever One of the few remaining advantages: Be true to the real story of the person or organization Not polished truth — actual truth What makes content feel "AI-ish" AI can generate volume fast Books, posts, stories in minutes What it can't replicate: Personal specificity Why a story matters to you What an experience felt like from the inside Lived moments Running a café Growing into leadership What lasts: Personal story lesson learned relevance to this reader relevance to this relationship What content will win long-term Vulnerability Not oversharing, but real experience Personal perspective Why this matters to me Relevance Why it should matter to you Outcome Entertainment Insight Shared direction The risk of vulnerability (it can backfire) Being personal doesn't guarantee buy-in Example: inspirational talk → employee openly disagrees Emotional deflation Self-doubt Early leadership lesson: You can do your best People will still push back Leadership at higher levels gets harder, not easier Bigger teams → higher stakes Better pay Benefits Real expectations First "real" leadership pain points: Bad hires Mismatched expectations Disgruntled exits Realization: Conflict isn't failure It's a sign you've leveled up "Mountains beyond mountains" Every new level comes with new challenges Entrepreneurship Executive leadership Organizational scale Reframe setbacks: Not proof you're failing Proof you're progressing Authenticity at the executive table Especially hard for HR leaders Often younger Often earlier in career Often underrepresented Anxiety is normal The table doesn't feel welcoming Strategy: Name it "This is new for me" "I'm still finding my voice" Own it Ask for feedback Speak anyway Authenticity ≠ no consequences Being honest can carry risk Not every organization wants change Hard truth: You can't change people who don't want to change Sometimes the right move is leaving Guiding advice: Find people who already want what you offer Help them move faster Vulnerability as a competitive advantage Almost any perceived weakness can be reframed New Nervous Different When named clearly: It builds trust It creates permission It signals confidence Getting better at storytelling (practical) It's not talent — it's reps Shyness → confidence through practice Start small Don't test stories when stakes are highest Practice specifics Your core stories Your pitch Energy matters Enthusiasm is underrated Tempo matters Pauses Slowing down Letting moments land Executive presence is built Incrementally Intentionally Practice, Progress, and Learning That Actually Sticks Measure growth against yourself, not "the best" The real comparison isn't to others It's who you were yesterday MrBeast idea: If you're not a little uncomfortable looking at your past work You're probably not improving fast enough Important distinction: Discomfort ≠ shame Shame isn't a useful motivator Progress shows up in hindsight Looking back at past work "I'd write that differently now" Not embarrassment — evidence of growth Example: Weekly newsletter Over time, clearer thinking Better writing Stronger perspective Executive presence is a practice, not a trait Storytelling Selling Persuasion Presence Core question: Are you deliberately practicing? Or just repeating the same behaviors? Practice doesn't have to happen at work Low-stakes environments count Family Friends Everyday conversations Example: Practicing a new language with a dog Safe Repetitive No pressure Life skills = leadership skills One of the hardest lessons: Stop trying to get people to do what they don't want to do Daily practice ground: Family dynamics Respecting boundaries Accepting reality These skills transfer directly to work Influence Communication Leadership Why practice outside of high-stakes moments When pressure is high You default to habits Practicing in everyday life: Builds muscle memory Makes high-stakes moments feel familiar How to learn (without overengineering it) Follow curiosity Pick a thread A name A book An idea Pull on it See where it leads Let it branch Learning isn't linear It's exploratory Learning through unexpected sources Example: Reading a biography Leads to understanding an era Context creates insight The subject matters less than: Genuine interest Sustained attention Career acceleration (simple, not flashy) Always keep learning Find what pulls you in Go deeper Press the gas Where to find Robin Ongoing work lives in: Snafu (weekly newsletter on sales, persuasion, and storytelling) https://joinsnafu.com Responsive Conference (future of work, leadership, and org design) https://responsiveconference.com
For over 30 years (since 1995) Ira Glass has been one of, if not THE voice of public radio. His show, This American Life, has won Peabody awards, the first ever audio journalism Pulitzer. And it’s also shaped generations of listeners and audio makers. As an early adopter of podcasting (2006), the show was for many a first foray into digital listening. It spawned major hits like Serial, which led to a boom in documentary podcasting. But the world of audio has changed a lot in recent years. Ira Glass shares his thoughts with Soundside. And he’s coming to the Mount Baker Theater in Bellingham this weekend (Saturday, January 24th) to share some of his secrets: the show is called “An Evening with Ira Glass: Seven Things I've Learned” Guest: Host and executive producer of This American Life, Ira Glass Related Links: Mount Baker Theatre Presents An Evening with Ira Glass: Seven Things I've Learned Ira Glass Explains Why I’m Listening to Podcasts Wrong | SubwayTakes Uncut - Youtube Ira Glass plays a nicer version of himself on the radio - NPR Thank you to the supporters of KUOW, you help make this show possible! If you want to help out, go to kuow.org/donate/soundsidenotes Soundside is a production of KUOW in Seattle, a proud member of the NPR Network.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In this episode, Sarah Eustis, CEO of Main Street Hospitality, shares how she leads with what she calls “the box and the wavy line.” She explains how disciplined operating systems, clear SOPs, and financial rigor create the stability teams need in a volatile market. Sarah also breaks down why structure does not limit creativity and how it creates room for innovation, new concepts, and thoughtful growth. This conversation offers a practical leadership framework for hospitality executives balancing control, culture, and expansion.See our previous conversation: From 14-Year-Old Housekeeper to Ralph Lauren to CEO: What I've Learned in Hotel Management and Beyond - Sarah Eustis, Main Street Hospitality Group A few more resources: If you're new to Hospitality Daily, start here. You can send me a message here with questions, comments, or guest suggestions If you want to get my summary and actionable insights from each episode delivered to your inbox each day, subscribe here for free. Follow Hospitality Daily and join the conversation on YouTube, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you want to advertise on Hospitality Daily, here are the ways we can work together. If you found this episode interesting or helpful, send it to someone on your team so you can turn the ideas into action and benefit your business and the people you serve! Music for this show is produced by Clay Bassford of Bespoke Sound: Music Identity Design for Hospitality Brands
In this enlightening episode, Mike Sacopulos sits down with three visionary leaders from the American Association for Physician Leadership (AAPL) — Peter Angood, MD, president and CEO, Joe LiVigni, senior vice president of education, and Devin Glasgo, director of consumer experience and development — to discuss the groundbreaking launch of AAPL Helix. AAPL Helix is a comprehensive learning ecosystem designed to redefine how physician leaders develop their skills throughout their careers. From AI-powered personalized learning to seamless community integration, this platform is more than just a tool — it's a transformational approach to professional development that transcends traditional CME credit tracking. In this episode, you will explore: - The "Leadership is Learned" Philosophy - Beyond Transactional CME: A Transformational Ecosystem - AI-Powered Personalization - Competency-Based Learning Journeys - Streamlined User Experience - Community Integration - The Vision Forward Dr. Angood envisions Helix as the core of AAPL's evolution — supporting not only individual physician development but also institutional clients and expanding into inter-professional leadership development. With a legacy spanning 50 years, AAPL is positioned to lead healthcare transformation by strengthening the patient-physician relationship and empowering physicians as natural stewards of industry improvement. Don't miss this fascinating conversation about how innovative technology is reshaping leadership in healthcare. Learn more about AAPL Helix at www.physicianleaders.org
In this episode, Sarah Eustis, CEO of Main Street Hospitality, explains how the company earned an employee Net Promoter Score of 78 in an industry known for hiring and retention challenges. She breaks down the specific leadership behaviors, hiring philosophy, and feedback systems that shape engagement long before someone's first day. The conversation focuses on interviewing for emotional intelligence, using 360-degree input, and treating development and feedback as daily operating disciplines. Hospitality leaders will take away a clear view of what high employee satisfaction requires and why it directly impacts guest experience and financial performance.See our previous conversation: From 14-Year-Old Housekeeper to Ralph Lauren to CEO: What I've Learned in Hotel Management and Beyond - Sarah Eustis, Main Street Hospitality Group A few more resources: If you're new to Hospitality Daily, start here. You can send me a message here with questions, comments, or guest suggestions If you want to get my summary and actionable insights from each episode delivered to your inbox each day, subscribe here for free. Follow Hospitality Daily and join the conversation on YouTube, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you want to advertise on Hospitality Daily, here are the ways we can work together. If you found this episode interesting or helpful, send it to someone on your team so you can turn the ideas into action and benefit your business and the people you serve! Music for this show is produced by Clay Bassford of Bespoke Sound: Music Identity Design for Hospitality Brands
In this episode, Sarah Eustis, CEO of Main Street Hospitality, shares her perspective on leadership and alignment across a diverse, multi-property hotel portfolio. Sarah explains how she defines leadership, why inclusion and shared authorship matter, and how alignment holds culture together across teams, properties, and regions. She also walks through her approach to decision-making and change management. This conversation offers practical insight for hospitality leaders at any level who want to lead more effectively, build trust, and drive better results across their teams.See our previous conversation: From 14-Year-Old Housekeeper to Ralph Lauren to CEO: What I've Learned in Hotel Management and Beyond - Sarah Eustis, Main Street Hospitality GroupProperties in Main Street Hospitality's portfolio:The Red Lion InnHammetts HotelCanoe PlacePorches InnThe BeatriceHotel DownstreetPort Cunnington LodgeThe Little LionIsland House Newport A few more resources: If you're new to Hospitality Daily, start here. You can send me a message here with questions, comments, or guest suggestions If you want to get my summary and actionable insights from each episode delivered to your inbox each day, subscribe here for free. Follow Hospitality Daily and join the conversation on YouTube, LinkedIn, and Instagram. If you want to advertise on Hospitality Daily, here are the ways we can work together. If you found this episode interesting or helpful, send it to someone on your team so you can turn the ideas into action and benefit your business and the people you serve! Music for this show is produced by Clay Bassford of Bespoke Sound: Music Identity Design for Hospitality Brands
Mick Shaffer joins the show to talk about the NFL playoffs and play Learned, Funniest, Best. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Target Market Insights: Multifamily Real Estate Marketing Tips
Yosef Lee is a full-time litigation attorney based in New York who pivoted into multifamily real estate investing to gain greater control over his time and legacy. Driven by his desire to be more present for his two daughters, Yosef began his investing journey in 2019, joining mastermind communities and building a network from scratch. Since then, he has become a general partner in 17 syndications, participated in 5+ joint ventures, and successfully exited multiple deals—including a 3X equity multiple from his first investment. He now shares his journey to help others take purposeful action, emphasizing relationships, self-education, and long-term vision. Make sure to download our free guide, 7 Questions Every Passive Investor Should Ask, here. Key Takeaways Join the right masterminds and network consistently to accelerate your learning and deal flow. Learn the language of multifamily investing before pitching yourself or underwriting deals. Focus on people first, trustworthy partnerships are more important than proximity in out-of-state investing. Multifamily value-add deals are often won through rent increases, not just renovations. Being honest about where you are in your journey builds authentic trust with your network. Topics From Legal to Legacy Yosef shares how his role as a litigation attorney conflicted with his values as a father. Realized that financial success wasn't enough without freedom of time, place, and occurrence ("TPO"). Accidental Discovery of Multifamily Found BiggerPockets in 2019 and stumbled into multifamily after exploring other investment options. Chose multifamily for its scalability and team-based structure. First Deal Breakdown: 44 Units in Kansas Partnered with others through a mastermind group to buy off-market. Pushed rents by $150–$200 and executed a cash-out refinance before ultimately selling for 3X returns. The Power of Masterminds and Community Did 200+ Zoom calls in 2020 to build relationships. Contrasts 80% of people who said "don't join" masterminds vs. the 20% who helped him scale. Emphasizes that education is free, but access to the right people is worth paying for. Authentic Branding and Thought Leadership Recalls a 2019 comment from John Casmon that gave him the confidence to start showing up online, even before his first deal. Encourages investors to be real about where they are and build in public.
Have you ever wondered how life's most devastating losses can become the foundation for your greatest purpose? In this profound episode, I sit down with John DeDakis, an awardwinning novelist, journalist, and writing coach whose 45year career in journalism includes serving as a White House correspondent during Ronald Reagan's presidency and working as an editor on CNN's The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer.John shares his remarkable journey from witnessing a cartrain collision at age nine to channeling decades of grief into six traditionally published novels in the Lark Chadwick mystery series. His raw honesty about losing his sister to suicide and his son to a heroin overdose reveals how writing became his pathway to healing and helping others process their own pain.This conversation is packed with wisdom for anyone who's experienced loss, struggles with creative expression, or simply wants to understand how our earliest experiences continue to shape us throughout life. Whether you're dealing with grief, seeking your creative voice, or looking to turn your pain into purpose, you'll find valuable insights to help guide your journey.Don't miss this opportunity to learn how life's most challenging moments can become catalysts for profound personal growth and service to others. Your pain doesn't have to be meaningless – it can become the very thing that helps you connect with and heal others.⭐ Key Takeaways
Learned some things
Mick Shaffer joins the show to talk about the NFL Playoffs and play Learned, Funniest, Best. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Dr. Justin M. Lee. Purpose of the Interview To showcase Dr. Lee’s journey from a young real estate agent to a multi-industry entrepreneur. To inspire listeners with strategies for wealth-building through real estate, construction, and logistics. To encourage financial literacy, ownership, and collaboration within underserved communities. To issue a call to action for minorities to explore opportunities like Amazon DSP and real estate investment. Key Takeaways Early Career & Education Started young in real estate, embraced discomfort in rooms dominated by older professionals. Leveraged millennial tech skills (social media marketing) to help veteran brokers grow. Earned a doctorate degree and became a licensed real estate broker. Social Media as a Business Tool Built a strong presence on TikTok (90K followers) and other platforms. Helped older real estate firms thrive by creating digital visibility. Emphasized that “business must look as good online as in person.” Financial Literacy & Homeownership African-American communities often lack foundational financial knowledge. Key barriers: misunderstanding credit, fear of debt, and lack of exposure to ownership benefits. Advocates teaching the difference between good debt (real estate) and bad debt (consumer credit). Real Estate Process Initial onboarding: credit score, income, tax filing. Connect clients with lenders, secure pre-approval, then negotiate and close within 30–45 days. Uses property tours as motivation even for those not yet approved. Pooling Resources for Wealth Industry dominated by white men and foreign investors who use syndication. Dr. Lee created a private family fund with fraternity brothers and friends. Acquired 150+ apartment units and commercial properties by pooling resources and forming LLCs. Amazon DSP Opportunity Owns an Amazon Delivery Service Partner business (42 trucks, 200 employees). Offers minorities a chance to apply for DSP with $10K grant. Taught him true CEO skills: HR, payroll, compliance, and scaling operations. Construction Business Entered construction after experiencing exploitation in fix-and-flip projects. Learned the business side (permits, change orders) and got licensed. Built major projects like a 10,000 sq. ft. restaurant in Atlanta. Advocates for Black representation in construction, an industry dominated by whites and Hispanics. Personal Background Raised in New Orleans during Katrina by a single mother and grandparents. Mother invested FEMA checks into real estate, teaching him property management and renovation skills early. Believes knowledge is power and emphasizes planning and consistency. Notable Quotes On embracing discomfort:“I learned to embrace the uncomfort and make it one of my biggest strengths.” On social media:“You have to make your business look the same way online as in person.” On financial literacy:“Real estate is always going to be good debt. Bad debt is the Macy’s card.” On collaboration:“Pooling resources shows how far we can go and how fast we can go—but together.” On planning:“If you don’t plan, you plan to fail. All you have to do is stick to the plan.” #SHMS #STRAW #BESTSupport the show: https://www.steveharveyfm.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Dr. Justin M. Lee. Purpose of the Interview To showcase Dr. Lee’s journey from a young real estate agent to a multi-industry entrepreneur. To inspire listeners with strategies for wealth-building through real estate, construction, and logistics. To encourage financial literacy, ownership, and collaboration within underserved communities. To issue a call to action for minorities to explore opportunities like Amazon DSP and real estate investment. Key Takeaways Early Career & Education Started young in real estate, embraced discomfort in rooms dominated by older professionals. Leveraged millennial tech skills (social media marketing) to help veteran brokers grow. Earned a doctorate degree and became a licensed real estate broker. Social Media as a Business Tool Built a strong presence on TikTok (90K followers) and other platforms. Helped older real estate firms thrive by creating digital visibility. Emphasized that “business must look as good online as in person.” Financial Literacy & Homeownership African-American communities often lack foundational financial knowledge. Key barriers: misunderstanding credit, fear of debt, and lack of exposure to ownership benefits. Advocates teaching the difference between good debt (real estate) and bad debt (consumer credit). Real Estate Process Initial onboarding: credit score, income, tax filing. Connect clients with lenders, secure pre-approval, then negotiate and close within 30–45 days. Uses property tours as motivation even for those not yet approved. Pooling Resources for Wealth Industry dominated by white men and foreign investors who use syndication. Dr. Lee created a private family fund with fraternity brothers and friends. Acquired 150+ apartment units and commercial properties by pooling resources and forming LLCs. Amazon DSP Opportunity Owns an Amazon Delivery Service Partner business (42 trucks, 200 employees). Offers minorities a chance to apply for DSP with $10K grant. Taught him true CEO skills: HR, payroll, compliance, and scaling operations. Construction Business Entered construction after experiencing exploitation in fix-and-flip projects. Learned the business side (permits, change orders) and got licensed. Built major projects like a 10,000 sq. ft. restaurant in Atlanta. Advocates for Black representation in construction, an industry dominated by whites and Hispanics. Personal Background Raised in New Orleans during Katrina by a single mother and grandparents. Mother invested FEMA checks into real estate, teaching him property management and renovation skills early. Believes knowledge is power and emphasizes planning and consistency. Notable Quotes On embracing discomfort:“I learned to embrace the uncomfort and make it one of my biggest strengths.” On social media:“You have to make your business look the same way online as in person.” On financial literacy:“Real estate is always going to be good debt. Bad debt is the Macy’s card.” On collaboration:“Pooling resources shows how far we can go and how fast we can go—but together.” On planning:“If you don’t plan, you plan to fail. All you have to do is stick to the plan.” #SHMS #STRAW #BESTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Dr. Justin M. Lee. Purpose of the Interview To showcase Dr. Lee’s journey from a young real estate agent to a multi-industry entrepreneur. To inspire listeners with strategies for wealth-building through real estate, construction, and logistics. To encourage financial literacy, ownership, and collaboration within underserved communities. To issue a call to action for minorities to explore opportunities like Amazon DSP and real estate investment. Key Takeaways Early Career & Education Started young in real estate, embraced discomfort in rooms dominated by older professionals. Leveraged millennial tech skills (social media marketing) to help veteran brokers grow. Earned a doctorate degree and became a licensed real estate broker. Social Media as a Business Tool Built a strong presence on TikTok (90K followers) and other platforms. Helped older real estate firms thrive by creating digital visibility. Emphasized that “business must look as good online as in person.” Financial Literacy & Homeownership African-American communities often lack foundational financial knowledge. Key barriers: misunderstanding credit, fear of debt, and lack of exposure to ownership benefits. Advocates teaching the difference between good debt (real estate) and bad debt (consumer credit). Real Estate Process Initial onboarding: credit score, income, tax filing. Connect clients with lenders, secure pre-approval, then negotiate and close within 30–45 days. Uses property tours as motivation even for those not yet approved. Pooling Resources for Wealth Industry dominated by white men and foreign investors who use syndication. Dr. Lee created a private family fund with fraternity brothers and friends. Acquired 150+ apartment units and commercial properties by pooling resources and forming LLCs. Amazon DSP Opportunity Owns an Amazon Delivery Service Partner business (42 trucks, 200 employees). Offers minorities a chance to apply for DSP with $10K grant. Taught him true CEO skills: HR, payroll, compliance, and scaling operations. Construction Business Entered construction after experiencing exploitation in fix-and-flip projects. Learned the business side (permits, change orders) and got licensed. Built major projects like a 10,000 sq. ft. restaurant in Atlanta. Advocates for Black representation in construction, an industry dominated by whites and Hispanics. Personal Background Raised in New Orleans during Katrina by a single mother and grandparents. Mother invested FEMA checks into real estate, teaching him property management and renovation skills early. Believes knowledge is power and emphasizes planning and consistency. Notable Quotes On embracing discomfort:“I learned to embrace the uncomfort and make it one of my biggest strengths.” On social media:“You have to make your business look the same way online as in person.” On financial literacy:“Real estate is always going to be good debt. Bad debt is the Macy’s card.” On collaboration:“Pooling resources shows how far we can go and how fast we can go—but together.” On planning:“If you don’t plan, you plan to fail. All you have to do is stick to the plan.” #SHMS #STRAW #BESTSteve Harvey Morning Show Online: http://www.steveharveyfm.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
The Abundance Journey: Accelerating Revenue With An Abundance Mindset
Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt heavy, unsettled, or drained—without knowing why?In this powerful episode, Elaine Starling sits down with intuitive guide and energy mentor K. Margaret Solorio to explore how the unseen energy in your home may be quietly influencing your intuition, creativity, and abundance.Together, they reveal how energetic clutter builds up just like dust, why your space may be aligned with who you used to be instead of who you're becoming, and how small, compassionate shifts in your environment can create immediate relief, clarity, and flow.If you've been doing the inner work but still feel stuck, this conversation may unlock the missing piece—your space itself.Topics Covered0:00 How your environment impacts energy, mood, and abundance3:30 Setting Intention as a spiritual GPS for your home8:50 What energetic clutter really is (and why it's common)11:40 Three small changes that create big energetic shifts14:45 Redefining abundance as relief and flow17:10 Signs your home may be blocking intuition or creativity24:35 Aligning your space with who you're becoming29:30 One powerful front-door ritual to invite opportunity inKey TakeawaysYour home holds energetic residue just like your body doesClearing space doesn't require dramatic overhaulsEnergy—and abundance—flow where there is easeRelief is a powerful indicator of alignmentYour space should evolve as you doSimple Process SharedEnergetic Space ResetNotice how your space feels (no judgment)Clear one small obstacle in five minutesAdjust lighting, nature, or sound to support your nervous systemRelease objects tied to guilt or obligationSet Intention for your space to support your future self(Listen for lived examples throughout the episode.)Questions AnsweredWhy does my space feel heavy even when it's clean?How does clutter affect intuition and abundance?What's the fastest way to shift the energy in my home?How do I let go of items without guilt?What's one action I can take today to invite flow?Share-Worthy Quotes“Your space should support who you're becoming—not anchor who you used to be.”“Energetic clutter builds up just like dust—and clearing it creates relief.”“Abundance isn't about having more; it's about allowing flow.”Free GiftShare what you Loved and what you Learned from this episode to download the Spiritual Alignment & Conscious Actions Guide — your roadmap to reconnect with The Divine, raise your vibration, and live as the woman your soul designed you to be.https://www.TheAbundanceJourney.com/ContactClick Share My Thoughts and complete the short Google form to automatically receive your free gift.Resources MentionedHome Frequency Reset Quiz:https://deliciousease.com/quizPodcast: Intuitive WisdomBook:...
Most agents treat online leads like a necessary evil. Mickey Larson turned them into a $15 million business in just two years.In this episode, I sit down with Mickey, a former attorney and entrepreneur who ditched the courtroom stress for real estate and never looked back. While other agents complain about lead quality, Mickey has built an 85% online lead-based business with almost zero no-shows, consistent referrals, and a simple goal: one deal per week under contract.We break down his counterintuitive approach to working leads, why he spends more time talking clients out of buying than into it, and how treating every lead like a lifelong relationship turned Zillow clicks into a thriving referral machine.Inside this episode:•Why Mickey keeps his first contact minimal and gets to the showing fast • The psychology behind earning trust by saying no • How to turn vacant land leads and long nurture cycles into goldmines • Why he counts contracts, not closings, for instant gratification • His plan to scale by bringing his family into the businessFollow Mickey on Instagram: @larsmd09 Whether you're buying leads and struggling to convert, or wondering if paid traffic is worth it, this episode will change how you think about online lead generation. Subscribe, share, and follow for more interviews like this.The Neighborhood Real Estate Agent is proudly sponsored by Treadstone Funding and Neighborhood Loans. For more tangible tips in real estate marketing, check out Matt's book, The Tangible Action Guide for Real Estate Marketing available on Amazon.
What are we doing with email this year? And how are we adapting to all the inbox changes?In this episode, Amelia shares her top 3 rules for email marketing and newsletters in 2026.This isn't another overview of the basics. It's part-hot-take and part-informed-opinion on things like:Why welcome sequences matterReasons to let people opt-out of sales cyclesThe best way to use a waitlistAn argument for breaking up with the weekly newsletter& more! Tune in for a free email education, then listen to these episodes for more:
J Lo's, Age 56, Rant Goes VIRAL After Proclaiming WOMEN ARE THE PRIZE | We Haven't Learned by Greg Adams
Hello to you listening in Shah Alam, Malaysia!Coming to you from Whidbey Island, Washington this is Stories From Women Who Walk with 60 Seconds (and a bit more) for Motivate Your Monday and your host, Diane Wyzga.The beginning of a New Year can feel daunting. All those plans to kick start, days to fill, resolutions to keep, and more to do! There's no shame in admitting feeling a wee bit wobbly-legged about going forward in the face of wide open frontiers. What to do? Gain some courage by reversing your Bucket List. Instead of a list of what is yet to be done, what about a list of what you've accomplished from the littlest things that you felt made a difference to the biggest things you never thought you would achieve. You might begin by asking yourself:What made me proud?What have I learned?How did I transform my thinking about strangers to compassion and kindness?Who revealed the meaning of true love to me?Where did I find the hope and resilience to face whatever came my way?When did I feel most content or fulfilled?What would I do all over again just for the joy of it?What did I long for as a child? What have I created or, at least, not destroyed?Who have I lifted up?How have I defined my life? What dreams came true? And, which was I happy to leave by the wayside? What or whom did I fight for and why?When did I take time to play? In my experience the Reverse Bucket List invites us to pay attention to what we've done, won, gained, lost, learned and kept on living no matter what. It's proof that over and over again we have stepped outside our comfort zone to strive for something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for! Give it a go. Reverse your Bucket List and shine a light on you. You're always welcome: "Come for the stories - Stay for the magic!" Speaking of magic, I hope you'll subscribe, share a 5-star rating and nice review on your social media or podcast channel of choice, bring your friends and rellies, and join us! You will have wonderful company as we continue to walk our lives together. Be sure to stop by my Quarter Moon Story Arts website, check out the Communication Services, email me to arrange a no-obligation Discovery Call, and stay current with me as "Wyzga on Words" on Substack.Stories From Women Who Walk Production TeamPodcaster: Diane F Wyzga & Quarter Moon Story ArtsMusic: Mer's Waltz from Crossing the Waters by Steve Schuch & Night Heron MusicALL content and image © 2019 to Present Quarter Moon Story Arts. All rights reserved. If you found this podcast episode helpful, please consider sharing and attributing it to Diane Wyzga of Stories From Women Who Walk podcast with a link back to the original source.
Mick Shaffer joins the show to talk Chiefs and play Learned, Funniest, Best.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Teach and Retire Rich - The podcast for teachers, professors and financial professionals
Scott and Dan share their financial resolutions and discuss their favorite book, movie and TV show from 2025. They also discuss the penny's lucrative goodbye. Learned by Being Burned (short pod series about K-12 403(b) issues) 403bwise.org Meridian Wealth Management Nothing presented or discussed is to be construed as investment or tax advice. This can be secured from a vetted Certified Financial Planner (CFP®).
In this archived episode from 2020, Billy & Jenn talk about what they've LEARNED and what they'll LEAVE in 2020. Surprisingly, hardship can produce lessons that make it all worth it! And sometimes, hardship can make it crystal clear on what we need to walk away from and leave behind. _ _ _ _ _Official WebsiteInstagramTwitterFacebookYouTube
In this episode, the focus is on clergy abuse—a topic made even more pressing by recent headlines. The featured guest, Sandy Phillips Kirkham, shares her harrowing ordeal of being abused by a charismatic youth pastor starting at the age of 16. Sandy discusses the grooming process, the five years of abuse, and how she was ultimately expelled from her church while her abuser was merely relocated. She delves into the long-lasting impact of the abuse on her life and her spiritual journey, how she concealed her trauma for 27 years, and how she ultimately confronted her abuser. Sandy also provides valuable insights and actionable advice for preventing abuse and supporting victims within church communities. Her story is also detailed in her book, ‘Let Me Prey on You,' which offers a detailed account of her journey from victim to advocate. 00:00 Introduction and Sponsor Message 00:47 Welcome to the Podcast 01:32 Introducing Today's Topic: Clergy Abuse 02:17 Sandy Phillips Kirkham's Early Life and Church Involvement 06:22 Meeting the Abuser: The Charismatic Youth Pastor 08:43 Red Flags and Grooming Tactics 13:51 The First Inappropriate Act 16:37 The Abuse Escalates 21:06 The Aftermath and Church's Response 28:15 Life After Abuse: Marriage and Keeping Secrets 32:09 Protecting Future Generations 35:17 The Importance of Sex Education in the Church 36:32 Techniques for Discussing Sex with Children 37:22 Personal Experiences with Sex Education 38:20 Triggering Memories and Emotional Breakdown 40:13 The Journey of Healing Begins 41:31 Understanding Clergy Abuse and Self-Forgiveness 43:52 Confronting the Abuser 47:07 Challenges in Seeking Justice 54:47 Preventing Abuse in the Church 01:00:31 Supporting Victims of Clergy Abuse 01:05:07 Final Thoughts and Resources Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.” https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/ https://www.facebook.com/KirkhamAuthor/ sandykirkhamauthor@gmail.com Purchase her book “Let Me Prey Upon You” on amazon: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/let-me-prey-upon-you/ Link Tree Website: https://dswministries.org Subscribe to the podcast: https://dswministries.org/subscribe-to-podcast/ Social media links: Join our Private Wounds of the Faithful FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603903730020136 Twitter: https://twitter.com/DswMinistries YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxgIpWVQCmjqog0PMK4khDw/playlists Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dswministries/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DSW-Ministries-230135337033879 Keep in touch with me! Email subscribe to get my handpicked list of the best resources for abuse survivors! https://thoughtful-composer-4268.ck.page #abuse #trauma Affiliate links: Our Sponsor: 753 Academy: https://www.753academy.com/ Can't travel to The Holy Land right now? The next best thing is Walking The Bible Lands! Get a free video sample of the Bible lands here! https://www.walkingthebiblelands.com/a/18410/hN8u6LQP An easy way to help my ministry: https://dswministries.org/product/buy-me-a-cup-of-tea/ A donation link: https://dswministries.org/donate/ Sandy Phillips Kirkham [00:00:00] Special thanks to 7 5 3 Academy for sponsoring this episode. No matter where you are in your fitness and health journey, they've got you covered. They specialize in helping you exceed your health and fitness goals, whether that is losing body fat, gaining muscle, or nutritional coaching to match your fitness levels. They do it all with a written guarantee for results so you don't waste time and money on a program that doesn't exceed your goals. There are martial arts programs. Specialize in anti-bullying programs for kids to combat proven Filipino martial arts. They take a holistic, fun, and innovative approach that simply works. Sign up for your free class now. It's 7 5 3 academy.com. Find the link in the show notes. Welcome to the Wounds of the Faithful Podcast, brought to you by DSW Ministries. Your host is singer songwriter, speaker and domestic violence advocate, [00:01:00] Diana Winkler. She is passionate about helping survivors in the church heal from domestic violence and abuse and trauma. This podcast is not a substitute for professional counseling or qualified medical help. Now here is Diana. Hello. Welcome everyone. Welcome to my regular listeners, as well as some new listeners that have joined us today. I have a great guest for you today. We're going to be talking about clergy abuse today. Religious leader, abuse. Pastor, youth leader. You've seen this in the news recently with all these preachers being arrested or charged with sexual misconduct or rape or [00:02:00] pedophilia. I'm sure you've seen the news. Well, today we're going to hear a story about a woman who's been victimized in that way and she's fighting back. So let me read her bio for you. A church is where an insecure 16-year-old girl should feel welcome, happy, and most importantly, safe tragically. For some, the church can become a place of great harm. Sandy Phillips Kirkham details her account of how charismatic youth minister preyed upon her, a betrayal which left her broken with a shattered faith and the ultimate shame of being blamed enforced from the church she loved. Despite a successful and happy life, is a wife, mother, and friend. Sandy successfully concealed her abuse for [00:03:00] 27 years until a trigger forced her to face the truth. Sandy's story will take you on her journey of healing. Her strength and courage will inspire you. Let me pray upon you her book details. Sandy's journey from innocent 16-year-old, a victim to a survivor, and advocate. We please welcome Sandy Phillips. Kirk, welcome Sandy to the show. Thanks so much for coming on. Well, thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. Wow. So I've been listening to you on the Preacher Boys podcast and thought you had a really great story, and so I wanted to come and bring you on so my listeners can hear your story as well. Mm-hmm. So tell us a little bit about your home and your church environment growing up. Let's [00:04:00] start from the beginning here. Okay. I'm the oldest of five. My parents were divorced when I was about seven, which that was really the impact of my life, of just how it altered everything about that time in my life. Then my mother remarried and we moved in with my stepfather shortly after my father remarried, and so I was dealing with these blended families and it was just very confusing for me at the time, my parents and stepfather did not attend church. So I, I wasn't a part of a church until I was about eight, and that's when my best friend who lived up the street invited me to go with their family, and I went with them and I went every Sunday after that, I absolutely fell in love with church. It was a place that I felt safe. I think it provided for me a place away from home that I felt comfortable and I got attention there. I was very active even as a small child. I went to vacation Bible school, church camp, love Sunday School. I sang in a junior choir. Really, it was a just a great place for me to [00:05:00] be. When I was 13, I was baptized and then my faith really deepened and my involvement in the church became even more so, started teaching Sunday school and teaching vacation Bible school. I started serving on committees with adults and doing more of the activities that would, , just be more in depth than just typical youth group activities. So, it's just no exaggeration to say that if the doors of the church were open, I was there and I loved it. I loved serving God. I felt that was the place for me, and everything about it was brought me joy and peace in the church. Wow. You really, were very sincere in your faith. It was not a fake one. I hear a lot of stories of. Being brought up in the church and being made to go to church and, you just go through the motions kind of thing. But it sounds like it was the opposite for you. It was that you really believed this with all your heart. Was that a fundamental Baptist church you were going [00:06:00] to or what? It was a church, Christ Christian Church, which is similar to the Baptist. It's an independent church. Yeah, that's the church. That was so something happened while you were serving the Lord and loving God. You met your abuser? Yes. Shortly after I turned 16, our church hired a new youth pastor, and from the moment he arrived, he was totally different than anyone we'd ever seen before. He was very charismatic, very dynamic. His sermons were really like nothing we'd ever heard before, and people were just drawn to him. He had a personality that people found themselves wanting to be around him. They wanted to please him. So he was very good at asking people to do things and they didn't hesitate. It, it was just a different kind of atmosphere. When he came to the church, the youth group exploded in numbers. We went from like 25 to almost 200 in a very short time. Even the [00:07:00] adult church was growing because people just came to hear him preach because he was so good at what he did. He was 30, married with two children, but he really acted more like our age group. He dressed like we did. He. Went to our football games at school, he knew our music. So he just, he really, he was tuned into us and in return we found ourselves, all of us being willing to please him and wanna do anything we could to make the youth group and the church better. So when people think of a profile of a child abuser, they usually think, oh, some dirty old man, that his roaming fingers or what have you, but this youth pastor sounded like, okay, he was really good looking and hip and really loved the young people. Mm-hmm. Is that typical of. Well, it's, it's typical in the sense that it's not the, dirty old man hiding in the bushes. Most abusers [00:08:00] are people we know. They're people that we like. They're usually people that, connect with people very well, and that's what makes them so dangerous because they're not obvious with what they do, and they're very good at that. They pretend to be one of us. They pretend to care, but in reality, their goal is to find a way to take advantage of the most vulnerable in, in the group. And so, predators are usually drawn to places where they will find vulnerable people. The gymnastics team is an example of that. The Boy Scouts, anywhere where you can, and certainly the church because we are welcoming into people who are in need. Oftentimes. Then there are many people in the church who are vulnerable to these types of men, and sometimes women. Were there any red flags? That you should have seen or noticed when you were around this youth pastor? Well, he came with so many different ideas and different ways of doing things. And one of the things that he was doing now, this was in the [00:09:00] seventies, so cultures were changing and it was free love and kind of thing. But he came into our church and he expected everyone to hug each other. So we were always hugging each other. And he also expected us to say how much we loved each other and that we love you and not just that I love you in Christ. He would simply walk up, give you a hug and say, I love you. Now you know, that may seem innocent, but that's a little odd for that pastor to be saying those kinds of things. And it also blurs the lines because when you say to someone, I love you, that can be confusing to. Young teenagers and even to vulnerable adults. So, but he did that with everybody. It wasn't like he picked someone else special, but, so the hugging in the contact was kind of a red flag in the beginning. But for me personally, I babysat for his family. His wife worked evenings. Mm-hmm. So one night after he came home, he asked me to go to his basement and listen to a song by Neil Diamond. [00:10:00] Well, it felt a little weird 'cause I'd never. I've been around a pastor that wanted to talk to me about anything but church in the Bible. But I went to the basement. Yeah. I mean a Neil Diamond song. So I went to the basement. I know, but that's a trigger factor for me sometimes. So anyway, I went to the basement and he put this record on and I sat down on the couch and instead of sitting in a chair or another place, he came on the couch and sat very close to me. And I remember feeling uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything. 'cause I thought, well, he is just sitting next to me. It's no big deal. But that's a red flag that I felt because it felt uncomfortable to me. And then the other times that I would babysit for him. His wife wouldn't come home till late in the evening, so he would come home around seven or eight and after the kids were in bed, instead of taking me home, he wanted me to sit and talk with him all evening. So we'd talk about the Bible or we'd talk about church, and sometimes he'd ask me what I thought of his [00:11:00] sermon, which at age 16, I'm flattered that this man has any idea that I would have some opinion about this great sermon that he just gave. So I didn't see anything wrong with that because he's my pastor. But had that occurred with my 30-year-old neighbor down the street, every time I went to babysit, I know I would've come home to my mother and said, okay, this is weird. Mm-hmm. Every time I babysit, this man wants to sit and talk to me all evening. I mean, what interest would I have as a teenager wanting to talk to this 30-year-old married man? But because my pastor was who he was and he tapped into our common connection of the church and God, and again, many times he would give me books to read 'cause he wanted me to get better in my deep, in my spirituality. So I didn't see anything wrong with it because of who he was. And so I just accepted that behavior, which is another tool and technique. They look for ways to get into you. Mm-hmm. [00:12:00] That don't seem obvious. And that was, so those were two red flags for me. Now as far as the congregation goes, I was in his office a lot by myself, but so were other kids, because he would actually call us into his office and say, I want you to come in and tell me what's going on in your life. Talk to me about your problems. Instead of us going to him, he would encourage us to come into his office. So while that probably wasn't a good thing, no one saw it as a bad thing. It seemed normal, but he called me into his office a lot more than the other kids. And later on there were people who did say to me, there were times when I wondered why he said something to you like that, or I noticed something one time. And so I think people notice some things, but no one thought enough of it to say, okay, there's something going on that doesn't seem right. So those were the red flags that I think in the beginning were very subtle. But they were hard to see, [00:13:00] and this is really important to distinguish these things because I was groomed by a guidance counselor in seventh grade. Mm-hmm. But he was one of those dirty old men that, he was doing creepy stuff. Yeah. But I never would have seen myself. A pastor and he's talking about spiritual things and he's talking about God and mm-hmm. He's not talking about sex. He's not watching, you're not watching dirty movies together. No, he's not, buying you sexy lingerie. It's, Hey, he's doing spiritual things. Mm-hmm. It's a setup. It's that grooming process you're talking about. It's pulling someone in to gain their trust, in a very di diabolical way, because he's using the church to do that. That's really scary. That scares mm-hmm. Scares me to death. What were the first times that he did something really inappropriate that you were just like, whoa? Well, the very [00:14:00] first time, was after a youth group meeting that was held in my home. I was the song leader. He put me in a leadership position, and it was very important to him that the evening always go well and that we were to make people feel welcome. And so at the end of the evening, I was nervous because I wanted to make sure that he thought everything went well. And he came up to me in my hallway and began telling me how great the evening was and how proud he was of me. And I was on Cloud nine. I was flattered that he felt that way. I felt good that the evening went so well. And then he just slowly bent down and he kissed me. And it wasn't, it was a kiss, but it seemed somewhat innocent to some extent. And I, I remember thinking, I think he just kissed me. Then my next thought was, well, he's my pastor and I don't think he would be doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And it was just a quick kiss. And he's always hugging people. And so maybe this is just his way of showing his appreciation for the evening. It was really [00:15:00] the only way in my 16-year-old mind that I could justify it because I couldn't think about this man doing anything he shouldn't be doing. And this was a person that everyone loved and thought so highly of, so how could I think he was doing something he shouldn't be doing? So I just let it go. I didn't think anything more about it. I mean, did you have any sex ed or anything? Did you know the birds and bees? Nine. Well, yeah, I'm 16. I did. Yeah, I did. But I wasn't, I hadn't dated much. I wasn't allowed to date till I was 16, so I hadn't had any dating experience. I had one kiss before this with a boy at camp. So I wasn't. Worldly or knowledgeable about all those things. But, and again, it was such a quick innocent type kiss. He didn't grab me, he didn't push me against the wall. I just, and again, I think for me it was okay if he's, if this is more than just a kiss, then what do I do with it? So therefore I'm just gonna say it's [00:16:00] nothing because I don't know what else to do. Um, wow. I let it go. I let it go. But as I babysat for him, he, sometimes when I would leave, he would kiss me and sometimes he wouldn't. So, I didn't see it as a con, kind of a continual thing that he was always wanting to kiss me. He always hugged me. But the kissing became more intense as it went along. So it, it would be another year, before he would have sex with me. And so that grooming process and kind of pushing the boundaries each time he was with me, finally ended with him having sex with me. Oh, wow. Now, some of us listening are like an adult having sex with a child or 16-year-old. Can you unpack that a little bit more, the process of how he got to that point? I mean, that the first time you had intercourse, I mean, did he, you know, go to a hotel with you and you had a candlelight dinner, or was it in the backseat of the car?[00:17:00] Was it an accident? It wasn't an accident. He was very deliberate and I had every intentions of having sex with me that night. I babysat, I was babysitting, I put the kids to bed, I walked down the steps. I assumed that we would go into the living room. Or the family room, sit on the couch and talk about the things we always talked about. But instead, he stopped me at the bottom of the stairs and he took me into the living room, and immediately put me on the floor and began undressing me. Um, and wow, I froze. I, I literally froze and I kept thinking to myself, he's going to stop. He's going to stop. And that the entire time he's whispering into my ear how much he loves me, that he would never hurt me, and that he can, I can trust him. And then he kept asking me, do you love me? Do you love me? And I, of course, I'm answering yes, because well, yes I do, because that's what I've told him for the past year. I, I, I just, I was so confused and what my real reaction was, I froze. Mm-hmm. Um, he, he sort of pushed my head under the [00:18:00] stereo. And so when he is starting to get farther than I thought he would ever go. I blocked, I just blocked it out and I started reading the serial numbers underneath the stereo. Oh my goodness. Just to be thinking of anything else. Um, at one point he then just picked me up and took me upstairs. He literally put me on the bed, penetrated me, and that was it. And I was horrified. I was absolutely horrified. I, I wanted to cry. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. Um, he left the room, told me to get dressed, and he would take me home. And I remember sitting on the bed and I put the bedspread around me because I was so embarrassed that I didn't have my clothes on. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Um, and then I just remember thinking I just had sex. I'm no longer a virgin. I just had sex with this man and. He took me home. Now, in the [00:19:00] book, of course, I go into a little bit more detail, but Right, he took me home and just before I got outta the car, he said to me, now, you know, this is something between the two of us, you can't tell anyone. And of course I'm thinking, who would I tell? I, I don't want anybody to know. I just did this. So, that was the first time. And then I think I, at that point I kept thinking, you know, I've had sex with him. So now I'm committed to him again. I'm at this point, I'm 17 years old. I'm still like, what do I do with this? I don't, I don't know what to do with this. Um, and he was convincing me that he loved me. He was convincing me that he needed me in his ministry and that God, this was God's will in our lives. He threw that at me. Eventually he would say to me that we were married in God's eyes. I mean, twisting the scripture and using God as a reason that we should be together. And so. I started to accept that. There were a couple times I went to him and told him that I couldn't do this anymore. I felt [00:20:00] guilty. He would respond in one of two ways. One, he would say to me how much he needed me, how much he loved me, and that he couldn't live without me. So that was the guilt part of it. Or he would respond and by saying to me, you know, you're no longer a virgin. No one else is gonna want you. I'm the only one that knows how to love you, and you are committed to me, and this is gonna be the way it is. And I saw no way out. I didn't see a way out. And so the relationship continued for five years. Wow. Five years. It went on for five years. That is a long time. And it, during that time, he became more aggressive physically. Uh, he hit me. He became sexually more deviant. It just progressed. It got worse and worse. And to a point that I finally, I was, my self-esteem was so low. I hated myself for what I'd been doing. So I finally just accepted that this was my life. I knew [00:21:00] I'd never get married. I knew I'd never have children, and this wouldn't be over until he said it was over. This went on for five years and nobody in the church noticed it. Your parents didn't notice it. You know, people say, well, where were your parents? Well, first of all, my parents were thrilled. I was in church. I mean, this was a time in the seventies when drugs were. Prevalent girls were, having free sex. So for them, what safer place could there be than to be in church? So, and they saw his intention toward me and his involvement with me as a good thing. I mean, he would take me on hospital visits with him. I mean, they saw this as being positive. And they knew how much I loved being there and that it was a place that I liked to go. So they didn't see it. And many in the church didn't see it began because who suspects the pastor of such behavior. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And especially in the seventies when this wasn't an open topic like it is now, you wouldn't have dared thought anything like that. And so [00:22:00] it's not uncommon for people in the church, to miss the signs and to ignore what they really do see, because they just can't believe that it would be something that would be happening in their church because then they'd have to do something about it. Yes, exactly. When did it all come crumbling down? It does crumble. Eventually it does. Two elders became suspicious and followed him one night and found us together in a hotel room. And then from then on, the next month and a half was an absolute nightmare for me. Hmm. It was initially hoped that they could keep what he had done, quiet and keep it from the congregation. Now, I have to say one thing before I forget. This wasn't his first incident of sexual misconduct. Oh. Prior to and just after he was awri, he arrived at our church. A young woman from his first church came forward and accused him of sexual misconduct. When he was [00:23:00] confronted by my elders, he didn't deny it. He said it was true. He asked for forgiveness, that it would never happen again. It was a mistake. So within six months. That's when he was kissing me in my hallway. So this, so these elders were aware that this was the second time that there had been an incident with this man of sexual abuse and misconduct. But in spite of that, they tried to keep it quiet in hopes of moving him to another church. And so I was told during that time where I was to sit, how I was to respond to questions. I wasn't to talk to anyone. I wasn't to tell anyone about what had happened, including my parents. And this was all in an effort to keep it quiet. Well, that effort failed. And so it was determined that he should address the congregation. He did it in a very vague way, just simply said that he'd sinned. He'd sinned against God, and he'd sinned against his wife. And that was his confession. That was it. Two days later, he had me meet [00:24:00] him in a hotel room after that confession in front of the congregation. Now. He was moved to the next church. He was given a going away party. There was actually a vote to maybe keep him, but the vote failed and they decided to move him to the next church. About, two weeks, three weeks later, I was called in by the elders, and this is probably the hardest part of my story for me. Mm-hmm. I was called in by the elders and I was told that because of my behavior I was to leave the church. I was devastated. I loved that church. It was the only church I knew, and here I was being told by these two elders that I wasn't fit to worship there any longer. Mm-hmm. He could be forgiven and given a second, third chance. I couldn't be, I was told that to leave the church. I wasn't given any counseling. I wasn't helped in any way. I was simply told to leave and I did. I left. [00:25:00] And that I told people many times, as horrific as the abuse was, having been told to leave, that church had a greater impact on me spiritually than the actual abuse did. I don't think I ever recovered from that. It still haunts me to this day to some extent. That response of the church really devastated me. So that was the crumbling, as you called it? It came crashing down and I would, I left the church. So did that change your perception of God? What was your relationship with God this time? Yes. You were kicked outta the church, but. Well, I felt a disconnect from God. I never blamed God. I never felt like God caused this to happen. I, in fact, I carry the blame and the shame. I felt guilty for what I had done. And so I never blamed God, but because of the relationship being tied in with God and the [00:26:00] prayers that this man would give, and then, you know, he'd give these wonderful sermons about marriage and sanctity of marriage on a Sunday morning after having sex with me the night before. I had difficulty separating all of that, and there were so many trigger factors associated with the church and prayer that God really did. It was hard for me to have any kind of relationship with God. I did. I didn't become an atheist like a lot of victims do, and who become angry at God. I simply just. I just put him on the back burner. I knew he existed, but I didn't have a connection with him any longer. So for 27 years, I, I never prayed. I never opened my Bible. I went to church because when I met my husband, he was a Methodist. And I thought, well, I'll go to the Methodist Church. It's a different denomination. Mm-hmm. I'll just go on. It should be fine. It didn't work that way. I had anxiety attacks in church. I, his [00:27:00] reminders of him were constant, but I forced myself to go. I made sure that I went because I knew when we had children, I wanted them to have that church experience. But every time I walked past the minister's office, I got a knot in my stomach. Oh yeah. It had nothing to do with that minister. But you understand that. I mean, it, but I did that for 27 years. It became my norm. I just knew that when I walked past that office, I was gonna get a knock my stomach, certain hymns. I can tell you what his favorite hymn was, and every time that was played, that's who I thought of. I couldn't pray. It was so, I did have a deep, deep disconnect for 27 years, and I have to tell you, I missed it. I actually mourn that loss of my spiritual life, but I didn't know how to get it back. Because I'm keeping this secret. I'm still carrying guilt and shame. I couldn't forgive myself. I didn't feel worthy to be in church. So with all of that mixed in, I just put myself on autopilot and said, [00:28:00] well, this is the way my life will be and I'll just have to accept it. It just sounds so unfair. Somebody that loves the Lord so much and served in the church and so innocent and being kicked out. Oh, but it sounded like maybe meeting your husband would've been a positive thing for you. How did you guys meet? I actually worked at his office, so I met him there. We dated for about two years, and I just found him to be a kind, loving soul. He was very unassuming. He wasn't arrogant. He didn't, he wasn't a boastful type of person. He didn't like taking credit for things, even though he deserved it sometimes. He was just a good hearted person, and I just, I fell in love with him immediately. I really did. I thought this was a great, great guy. I mean, I will tell you, I have said many times because before I met him, I was on a destructive path. I did not have any self-esteem. [00:29:00] I saw myself just simply as some sex object that, I was only good for that. And so when I met him, he saved my life because he loved me for who I was and showed me that I was worthy. So I've often said to him, you saved my life, and he will respond back with you made mine, and you can't get any better than that. So meeting him was a turning point for me, but I kept a secret from him for 27 years, and I lived in fear that he'd always find out that I'd had this affair with a married man. And I know in my heart that it wouldn't have made a difference to him. But people who've been abused never forget the words, don't ever tell. And I never forgot those words. And I never forgot what the consequences could be if I were to tell someone. Because when my elders found out, they blamed me. And I, I couldn't bear the thought that if I were to tell him. [00:30:00] Somehow he would find fault with me, or I wondered, would he wonder why I didn't feel confident enough to tell him? Would he feel betrayed that I kept a secret? Would he see me differently sexually? All those fears that I had while unfounded were still present in my mind. And so I never could tell him. And I had to do a lot of play acting and pretending, through our married life in the sense that the times I was having trigger factors, I had to hide them. And I know he would've been supportive, but I couldn't see that. Because while trauma affects you at the time of the abuse, it's lifelong. It doesn't leave you. And so I lived with that for 27 years. So did you have. Intimacy issues when you were together? Was that what you're talking about? The triggering? No, I, know a lot of victims do, and that's understandable. I really didn't, because he was so different from my abuser [00:31:00] and I recognized that my abuser was emotionally violent mm-hmm. And physically, he just wasn't loving in any sense of the word. I was simply used for sex. Mm-hmm. And I didn't have that with my husband. And so I could separate that a little bit. But I think the guilt of hiding the secret had an impact on our marriage as far as my able to be intimate with him in an emotional way. I'm really glad to hear that. I, you are not the first person that I've heard that. The victim has hidden a secret from her husband. I passed her and a pastor's wife and her husband did not know. Mm-hmm. Children didn't know, and it was a family member that was the abuser. And I kept telling her, you've got to tell him. Mm-hmm. You know why? It's because, and I was thinking this when I was listening to your, the other shows that you were on. I'm thinking about your children and your grandchildren. If I was abused, [00:32:00] I would be like. How do I keep my children and grandchildren from going through what I just went through, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, that's an interesting thing because most people would assume that my daughter, I would've been all over it and worried sick every time she left the house. Yeah. But I actually had the opposite, reaction because keep in mind, I didn't see myself as an abuse victim. I saw myself as someone who participated, who willingly went into this relationship and stayed in it willingly, which is not the case when you're abused. There's the control, the manipulation, all of those things that play into keeping a victim in a relationship and they see no way out. So for me, I just assumed I got one bad apple in the whole barrel, that this didn't happen to other people and that I had an affair. But my daughter, who I knew, she would never have an affair with a married man, I just knew that. So I. Sent her on [00:33:00] retreats. I sent her to church camp without fear because again, I'm thinking, okay, this just doesn't happen to other people and this is not something I need to be concerned about with her. However, with my granddaughters, it's totally different because now I understand what really occurred and the damage that can occur when you've been abused. And so with my granddaughters, her mom and dad have talked to them, about good touch, bad touch. And I too have talked about to her, but I've been a little bit more probably detailed about it. Mm-hmm. And as she gets older, these men, the techniques change as you get older and they, after they go after teenage girls, so mm-hmm. Hopefully I'll be able to help her understand, what happens when someone's grooming. I want her to understand her personal space, that if you're not comfortable when someone hugs you, it's okay. That's right. Say I, I don't want you to touch me that way. Mm-hmm. Or say if they don't feel comfortable and we put a lot on kids to do that. 'cause here [00:34:00] we're asking a child to say to an adult, no. Mm-hmm. So it's okay to go to your mother or your mom and say, can you tell so and so Uncle Jimmy or whoever it is, I don't wanna be hugged. So we need to make sure our kids understand that their personal space is their space. And if they don't want someone in that space, it's okay to say no. I also think it's important to tell kids that good people can do bad things. Yeah. Because, as we talked about earlier, our abusers are not strangers. They're not mean people. Mm-hmm. They're usually good people. They're usually people who've given us gifts. They're people who help us. They're people who tell us how wonderful we are. So it's hard for children, even adults, to see this individual who. Who on one side is a good individual who does a lot in the church, who's done all these wonderful things. And so we, we have to tell these kids, just because they're a good person doesn't mean they can't do bad things. And so that's kind of the message I hope to get to my granddaughters that I didn't give to my [00:35:00] daughter. And fortunately she didn't have any issues with church or any, anybody abusing her. But I certainly did not, guide her in the right way in that sense because I just, like I said, I just assumed that I was the only one that this would ever have happened to. Well, I think, I hear a lot in the church that they don't teach sex ed because they don't want the kids to go out and have sex. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of these kids are like ignorant as to, what is healthy and what is not proper, yeah. We need to teach 'em that our bodies or are going to respond. They were built that way. God intended us to have feelings. You know, when we are around the opposite sex, that's normal. Mm-hmm. So we need to make sure kids understand. But there are barriers and there are boundaries that need to be taken. But you're absolutely right when we don't talk at it, then we figure it out on their own. And we could, we can all imagine when you're leaving teenagers to [00:36:00] their own devices to figure out things. That's probably not gonna lead in a good spot. No, we have the internet now, which when we, right. When you and I were younger, we didn't have the internet. We didn't have cell phones. No. If you wanted a Playboy magazine, you had to go to that kind of a neighborhood to get something. Yes. You know? Yes. It was a lot more difficult. Yes, absolutely. But too many parents are embarrassed to talk to their children about sex and, you know, everybody listening needs to listen. You need to find a way to talk to them about these things. And one of the techniques that I use with my daughter, just in talking about sex in general, kids don't want to hear their mom and dad talk to 'em about this. So what I did would say, I read a magazine article about this girl who did such and such so that I put it off on something else that's, a non-entity of a person. And I'll say, or Have you ever heard of this? And of course I know she's got a little embarrassed, but I, it opened the dialogue without me coming [00:37:00] out and saying, have you heard of oral sex? Instead, I would talk to her and say, I heard this about this. This is what kids are doing, blah, blah, blah. So you kind of have to find techniques and ways to sneak around it sometimes, but you absolutely need to talk to, because they know it's out there and they're going to experiment. That's just part of being a teenager. Yeah, my parents chickened out. They just gave me a book to read. Same, probably the same book. I got, I forget what it was called. Where did I come from? Or something. It was a cartoon book. Mm-hmm. And I'm grateful for that. And, they just, after I finished the book, do you have any questions? Yeah, yeah. I had a lot of, older people that were friends and I would actually go to my older. Senior citizen friends and ask them questions rather than ask my parents. Right? Yeah, yeah. It's more comfortable that way for sure. Like I said, it's not the topic that we like to talk to with our kids and our kids don't wanna hear it, but being uncomfortable is not an excuse not to do that. And in school you get [00:38:00] the basics of the mechanics of it, but then that ends, that's all you get there as well. And that's not as helpful either. Yeah. The sixth grade menstrual cycle, health class. Yeah, exactly. That's it. They separate the girls and the boys. Yeah. We were all really embarrassed and Yes, yes. Yeah, exactly. Great information. So let's, circle around back to, okay, you've been hiding this secret forever. Mm-hmm. And nobody knows about your past. And then one day you got triggered. So what happened that day? Well, that's the first chapter of my book, and that is one day I was driving to a golf tournament in Tennessee. We live in Cincinnati. I was driving, my daughter was in college. She was playing in a golf tournament. I was driving down there and I was about halfway when I saw an exit sign for the town of Kingsport, Tennessee. And that is the. Town to which my [00:39:00] abuser was sent after he left our church, and it just sent me over the edge. Mm-hmm. All of a sudden I'm thinking, I'm in the town where he lives. Am I close to his house? Am I close to the church where he's now a minister? I mean, even though it'd been 27 years, I thought he was probably still there. I didn't know, but that's what my mind was telling me. I, all of a sudden I felt his presence in the car. I, I could smell him. I could hear him. Oh. I was, it was unbelievable to me what was happening to me. I didn't even know what was happening. I pulled to the side of the road Oh, good. And I sobbed. Yeah. I sobbed for about 20 minutes and I was just trying to figure out what was happening because anytime I had trigger factors before I could manage them, I could control them. I kind of let them happen and then I push 'em back down. Mm-hmm. This one wasn't going back down and I was a mess. I was just an absolute mess. I was able to get through the weekend. I drove back home and all I could think about was, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? [00:40:00] I wanted to stop thinking about him and I couldn't. I spent the next two weeks, really in anxiety. I, my husband would leave for work and I would just walk around the house, wring my hands, trying to figure out why I was feeling the way I was feeling. What was I gonna do with these feelings till at one point I finally decided I was gonna tell my best friend, and I was absolutely petrified to tell her because for the first time in 27 years, I was going to utter the words. I was sexually abused by my youth pastor. And I remember thinking, he's gonna find out and I'm gonna get in trouble. I just, I was 49 years old and I'm still afraid of this man. But I did tell her, it was, it took me a long time to, to get the words out, but I did, she was very supportive. She was very kind. She was patient as she waited for me to tell her. And so that started my journey of healing just by telling that first person. I then told two or three other of my close friends, so the four of us spent [00:41:00] many days and many hours on the screened in porch of one of my friends just letting me talk. Mm-hmm. And being able to express what had happened to me. I wasn't ready to tell all of the story. I mean, there's parts in the book that I won't go into here because they're pretty mm-hmm. Embarrassing and some things that I did. So I wasn't ready to tell them everything, but I told them enough that it helped me start to release what had been done to me. And so that was the first thing that I did, I think. And then the next thing I did, which was so valuable, and I encouraged victims to do it as well, I just read everything I could on clergy abuse or sexual abuse in itself. So I began to learn the terms of grooming, manipulation, gaslighting, and then I could see how he methodically used each one of those things on me to get me to do the things he got me to do, and to stay in that relationship for those five years. And that was huge for me. So [00:42:00] it was, for the first time as I began reading, I understood that I had been abused. Now, it still took me a while to admit that I really was sexually abused because I didn't want that label. I didn't wanna be an abuse victim. And there was a part of me. We all wanna be loved. And so there was still a part of me that I wanted to think that there was some part of him that cared about me, that this wasn't just purely about sex and that he wasn't just using me for his own gratification. And I had to get past that. I had to finally come to terms with, no, this man didn't do the no one who loves you, would do the things he did and ask the things he did of me. So that took me a while, to finally admit, okay, this was an abusive relationship. So I told someone, educating myself, and then I had to learn to forgive myself. I had to let, I had to let go of the guilt [00:43:00] and shame because any guilt and shame belongs squarely on him. This was a man that I should have been able to trust. It was in a place that should have been the safest place on earth for me. And he took advantage of a vulnerable teenager who had, I didn't have a major crisis in my life, but he knew my home life was an upheaval at times. He knew that I didn't see my dad very much. So he used that to against me. And I had to forgive myself for being who I was at the time and being able to respond the way I did for the coping skills I had at the time. Sure. You can look back. I, and I think, why didn't I say this? Why didn't I do that? But I couldn't because of, of the re of the relationship he had created between us. Mm-hmm. I had lost all power. He was in complete control of this relationship, so I had to forgive myself and that wasn't easy either. Then, and I don't know that this is something all victims should do, but I just felt this need [00:44:00] that I needed to confront him. I just felt like I couldn't move past this unless I was able to face him. Now, I had no contact with him for 27 years. I didn't even know if he was still alive, but I hired a private investigator and he found him ministering in a church in Alabama. And so I had my investigator contact him and we set up a time and a meeting that we would meet. And I took my husband, I took my friend who was a counselor and another friend who was at the church at the time. Um, I wanted her at this point. You told your husband at this point, I'm sorry. Yes, that's correct. I, it was probably three months after I told my friends, that I said to him I would like to meet him in his office and talked to him about something and. I was terrified. I don't know how else to say it. I just was so afraid. Not that I needed to be, but I was. And I probably sat there for almost, [00:45:00] I would say, 40 minutes and just cried. I was able to finally get out. I'm okay, the kids are okay, and then I started crying again. He couldn't have been any more supportive, more loving. I remember looking at his face and I said I was sexually abused by my youth pastor, and he didn't. His expression didn't change, and then I said. I was their babysitter and his face just dropped. And for the first time, I could see the pain I was feeling was reflected in his face. It was, I almost wanted to hug him to say, I'm sorry. 'cause I could see how much it hurt him to know that this had been done to me, especially as a baby. I mean, the picture became complete for him once I said that. And so he was very supportive. I think he was worried about me confronting this man, for a couple reasons. But one, I think he was worried that I would be disappointed in his reaction, and that I would be expecting too much of this [00:46:00] person to understand what he did to me and show any kind of remorse, and that I, it would hurt me even more. And one of my fears was that, I was afraid he wouldn't meet me. I was afraid that he was gonna say, no, I'm not gonna meet with you. And my husband said, oh, he's gonna meet with you all right? Because if he doesn't meet with you, you just tell him. Call the church secretary. We'll call every elder. We're gonna, he, somebody's gonna hear your story if he doesn't want to hear it. So he did agree to meet with me. I went down to Alabama and the meeting took place and I said the things that I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to get what he did to me. But he didn't, he never could understand the damage. It was almost as if, okay, I shouldn't have done it and I'm sorry I did it. Okay, now what do you want? It was, get away. You bother me? Yes. And his greatest fear as most narcissist, and I believe he was, narcissistic, but his greatest fear was that I was going to demand that he be removed from the ministry. I mean, that's what he [00:47:00] was most concerned about, how this was going to impact him. And he should have been out of the ministry. So I went to his. Boss. I was told this, and something happened 27 years ago. He, we think he's safe. We're not worried, in spite of the fact that during the meeting he had admitted that there had been multiple occurrences of sexual misconduct throughout his ministry. Not all teenagers, some were most were probably women. And then he said he had gone to therapy because he had been identified as a sexual addict. And I kept thinking, who, what? What world, what world? Does this make sense that a man who has been identified by a psychologist as a sex addict belongs in the ministry? Nope. But here was this church. So I sent a letter to his 11 elders thinking, okay, somebody in this eldership is gonna see this. Is I something's wrong here. Not one responded totally [00:48:00] ignored me. 11 elders totally ignored me. Wow. No worries. So then, I decided to go to his denominational leaders, which were in Indianapolis. And there again, while they were sympathetic to my story and apologize that it happened, they said, we're an independent church. Our churches hire and fire their own ministers. We have no control and if they choose to keep this man, we can do nothing about it. And so what, I was shut down and basically I had no place else to go. I had pretty much. Done everything I could do. And it wasn't my place in the man that he be removed. I expected the church to be, the church was to do the right thing. Exactly. I assumed so naively that once they heard my story and once they understood the background of this man, surely someone would say, this isn't right. But again, keep in mind he's very charismatic. He brings in [00:49:00] people, he brings in money. And to be fair, and probably I'm being a little too gracious, these men are very good at manipulating not only the victim but the congregation as well. They're very good at getting control of the congregation so that they find themselves following this man no matter what he would do. Yeah. And that's basically what happened. There was going to be, I got a four page letter from his boss telling me that, know, I'm going to. Ruin this church if I continue on this path and that I'm going to feel all this guilt because I'm gonna be responsible for the damage that I will do to pe people's spiritual lives. I mean that, it was an incredible, I put the letter in the book, I, because it is so incredibly, hard to believe that someone write that to a victim of abuse. Just So that was What year did that happen? 2004. Okay. So we did have. We did have the internet. Oh, yes. And this was after the Catholic, [00:50:00] church had their, exposure of sexual abuse within their church. So yes, this was, it was out there for sure. This wasn't something that you would think, oh, I can't believe this happened. And again, he had admitted to these past instances. I mean, this wasn't someone who was saying, oh, I don't know what she's talking about. Or, oh, this is the only time it ever happened. He had been in therapy because he was a sexual addict, So he wasn't registered as a sex offender? I guess not. And in my case, at the time of the abuse, the age of consent was 16. So I had no legal recourse because of I was either legally age of consent. Now that has been changed in Ohio. It's now 18. It's now 18, but many states it's still 16. There are several states where the age of consent is 16. Now, the interesting about that is. His contact sexual contact with me was not considered a crime. However, if he had been my high school teacher, it would've been a crime. What, so pastors I know [00:51:00] does not make sense. It does not make a leg of sense. No, it does not. So it, they don't consider him a teacher. They don't cons, they don't, they considered an affair. A mutual. Relationship if he'd been my teacher, that's a different story. So yeah, I had no legal recourse. And that was frustrating. But I couldn't change that. So it was what it was. I just had to accept that he, yes, he belonged in jail. Yes, there's no doubt and should be registered as a sex offender, but I'm not so sure that even if he's registered as a sex offender, these people in Alabama and wherever he is now, would. Even take that as a concern. Well, you know, the millennials now, they'll just, they just post stuff on Facebook and Twitter and call the evening news and they have, yes. News people at their doorstep, right. Ready to mm-hmm. Track this guy's name through the mud. Mm-hmm. But you didn't choose to do that, I guess. No, you know, I'm very careful about naming him in the sense that, part of my story is that I [00:52:00] reconnected with his wife. She actually divorced him after they moved, because again, he committed sexual misconduct. She was 20, I think, at the time, so it wasn't a minor, but that's beside the point. This is a man in a position that, a professional who does not cross boundaries like that. So, to no one surprise, he committed sexual misconduct the third time, so she divorced him. And part of, I guess letting go of some of the guilt that I felt, I wanted to. Connect with her to at least tell her, not that I was responsible for what happened, but how very sorry I was for her pain and suffering as well because she was part of the youth group. I mean, she was there at the church all the time. We sang in the choir together. So it was like I had a relationship with her. Oh wow. To some extent. And of course when, we were found, when he was found out by the elders, she was upset and she of course, didn't wanna have anything to do with me, which is understandable. So I actually think I [00:53:00] also wanted to give her the opportunity to say whatever she felt she needed to say to me if she wanted to. I mean, I didn't know what she was gonna say or react. I thought maybe she'd hang up on me. I didn't know. So I called her one day. My investigator found her phone number and gave it to me, and she couldn't have been any more gracious. I, she never blamed me. She understood as she, as the years went on, what this really was just like I did. She's remarried. She's has a wonderful husband now. And so I visited her several times. We keep in contact. And so part of my not wanting to expose him too much is that it would be hurtful to her. And he does have children. Now. I know that, well, whatever consequences are as a result of this are all on him, but I don't feel the need to add to that. That's not my purpose in speaking out. And so, mm-hmm. I've gone to his church leaders, I've done everything I can to get him removed from the ministry. And nothing, it's just [00:54:00] he's still, I don't know that he's still a pastor, but he still remains in good standing within that denomination to this day. Yeah. I mean, sometimes we have to just let God. Right. Dish out the justice. It may not be in our timeline, it may not be the way that we think it should happen, but Right. He's not gonna get away with this. No. And again, I did my part. Yes. So my conscience is clear and I am able to say I did what I could do and whether or not they removed him, I certainly hope that I maybe put some doubt in some of their minds and maybe questioned their motives in keeping this man. I don't know. But, I feel I did what I could do and I feel good about that. I feel good about that. Absolutely, you should. And what I'm really interested in is, you're trying to keep this stuff from happening to other people, so, I mean, what can we do to prevent some of this stuff? Well, it's [00:55:00] difficult again, because these men are among us as wolves in sheep's clothing, and so they're difficult to spot. But a couple things. I think the first thing I would tell people is if something doesn't seem right. Keep your antenna up. Don't just ignore it or just don't think, oh, well that can't be true because he's the pastor. Mm-hmm. If it's behavior that you wouldn't accept in someone else, or it's something that you would question in someone else, then question it in the pastor or the choir director, whoever it is. Don't be blinded by the person. The persona that they're presenting to you. So that's the first thing I would say is keep your antenna up. The other thing is we, and we're churches, I think are doing better about this, but you've got to have policies in place that say, no, you're not taking a 16-year-old girl on your hospital visit with you. Yes. That's, that's not normal. That's not right. What is she doing going on a hospital visit with you in a car? And of course now we have the texting [00:56:00] and there should be absolutely no texting between a pastor, a youth minister, and anyone in the congregation. And that includes, no, don't forget the meeting for the church luncheon. No, there should be no texting because you, it's too hidden and it's too easily moved to the next step. And that's how it starts. You know, all of the abuse when it's someone you know, it always starts with small things and subtle things. It doesn't, innocent things. Innocent things that, yeah, that, that are innocent. But so that's why, so no texting. Yeah. So put in the policy, those places of, when you take a 10-year-old child to the bathroom, you make sure there's another adult with you. Absolutely. That's for your safety as well as for the child's safety. Mm-hmm. So I, I think we need to be aware. And then I would also say watch for the vulnerable in your, among your church or your group. Watch for the kid that's got issues at home and is looking for a father figure. Be aware that they're going to be more susceptible to someone who's a predator and pay [00:57:00] attention to their cues and kind of keep in touch with them as well in a sense of asking questions and how they're doing and be the kind of a person that they might feel comfortable coming to if something were to happen to them because they're the ones that are gonna be most vulnerable, to a predator. So that's kind of, an overview of what. Maybe a help to try and stop and prevent some of this. Yes, I like lots of video cameras. They're cheap now. You can put a camera, you can hide cameras all over the church facility and Yes. And I think too, talking to this about this issue to the congregation before anything happens, maybe having a person in your congregation who is the go-to person on this topic, who, who's researched what all these grooming and manipulation is so that they are even more equipped to, to notice the signs. So you have a person who's kind of in charge of that topic and then address it to the congregation once a year and say, here's our policy and here's what we expect of our pastors and here's what we would hope you would [00:58:00] do if you notice something. So it just brings it out so that people feel like if there is something that they know is going on or something's wrong, they feel comfortable going to someone about it. Those are all really great tips for leaders and, church members. So what, what if I am listening and I am being subjected to some of this stuff, what should I do? Well, what you need to do and what is the hardest thing to do is to tell someone. Yeah. And it's hard to do because when you're in an abusive relationship, you are being controlled by your abuser. And the narrative is what he is directing. And so he's going to tell you, look, you can tell anybody you want. They're not gonna believe you. And he tells you that over and over again. He's also going to tell you that you are going to be in trouble if you tell anyone. And then there's that problem of you sort [00:59:00] of care about this person. Here's someone that has been helping you, who's been your mentor, and you don't wanna get him in trouble. So with all those dynamics involved, it's very difficult for victims to come forward. But I am telling you, you don't wanna wait the 27 years that I did no. And live with this guilt and the shame and the angst and the anxiety. First of all, it's not worth it. You're not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, because there is help out there. But they can only help you if you're able to be able to tell someone. And believe me, I understand how difficult that is. It's not easy. Mm-hmm. But I would hope that I hearing my story and others that you will understand that there is help out there and you need to tell someone. 'cause it won't end until you tell someone. And if you need to, you go to someone that you trust. And if you need to, you go outside the church. Yes. You tell someone you know is going to listen to you. [01:00:00] Hey, I tell my listeners, you can call me anytime mm-hmm. And email me and I'm sure you'd say the same thing. Exactly. Reach out to Sandy if mm-hmm. You need somebody to talk to. Mm-hmm. Or you don't know what is the next step I need to take here? Right. It is scary to make First step. It's very scary. Very scary. Absolutely. So then there's the rest of us, those that have not experienced clergy abuse, maybe we're members in the church, maybe we're friends or family. What are some helpful things for us to do to support a victim? Helpful things to say, maybe there's things we shouldn't say, well, that's a yes. First, I would say anytime you're aware of a victim of clergy abuse or anybody who's been abused, whether it's clergy or not, reiterate to that victim that it was not their fault and that there was nothing they could have done, should have done that would've prevented this. And by doing that, you are [01:01:00] telling that person they're free to speak to you. And victims need to hear it over and over again because we do blame ourselves. Children as young as five will blame themselves because they allowed someone to touch them 'cause mommy said not to. And the that guilt in that shame that victims carry, it's difficult to let go of it. So to hear someone say to us, it's not your fault is so freeing. So that's the first thing. The second thing I would say is. Let them know that you will listen to them without judging them, and you will hear their story without being shocked that you are able to say, tell me everything you need to tell me, or Tell me as little as you wanna tell me. Give them a comfort place to go to talk. And then I would say, and this is difficult for people who have spiritual lives or who are part of the church, be very much aware that things such as prayer and Bible reading and [01:02:00] scripture can be very triggering for those who've been abused in the church. Mm-hmm. So things that you would find comforting like prayer. Can be a very major trigger factor for victims. And so instead of saying to a victim, I'll pray for you, or Can I pray with you? The best thing you could say would be to phrase it in such a way as to say, I understand because of what you've been through, prayer can be difficult. And so I would like to pray for you, but I would completely understand if you don't want to pray or you won't, don't even want me to pray for you. And so you've opened up the door to say to this person, wow, I don't have to feel guilty because I can't pray. You know, when we've grown up in the church and we've been told how wonderful church and prayer and all those things are, we still carry that guilt too because we're no longer connected to God. So to have a person on the outside. Recognize that these can be trigger factors is again, a gift. It's a [01:03:00] gift. So those things I think would be the most helpful when dealing with a person of clergy abuse. And give them time. Don't push forgiveness. Don't push trying to get them back into church. 'cause some victims will never be able to go back to church if you let them find their own pace of time and you do it without judging them. And I know that's kind of hard sometimes for Christians and people in the church because we love the church and we find it to be such a wonderful place and we want this person back in the church. Yes. But it, it may not be the best place at that point for that victim. Such valuable advice. I That is awesome. And again, back to like, when you're talking about the sex education, open up the dialogue, you know? Yeah. Bring it up. Bring it up before they bring it up. Again, I read in the newspaper that this girl was molested by, a gym teacher. You know that, that ha I know that happens. And then let 'em know that if. It is, like you said, allowing that comfort to be able to [01:04:00] talk to someone. I think for me it was important to give my side of the story. No one had a clue that he was emotionally and verbally and physically abusive to me. They saw this as a little love affair and that we had this, magic little love affair. Evil temptress. Yes, exactly. And so I wanted them to know the full story. That was important for my healing too. And they did that. And, they welcomed me back to the church. I went back, I've been back a couple times for, a youth group reunion that we had. So, and that was difficult. But again, I thought that was necessary for me to move forward. I had to let go of my past. I had to figure out, not to forget it, but how was I going to incorpo
Welcome to Day 2764 of Wisdom-Trek. Thank you for joining me. This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom Day 2764– Only the Best - A Gospel of Excellence – Luke 1:1-4 Putnam Church Message – 11/23/2025 Luke's Account of the Good News “Only The Best -A Gospel of Excellence: Thanksgiving for the Truth " Last week, we explored the letter of 3 John and Learned how to have “A Confident Life: Balancing Truth and Love.” This week, we will begin a year-long study of Luke's Account of the Good News. We are tying in our Thanksgiving celebration in a message titled: “Only the Best -A Gospel of Excellence: Thanksgiving for the Truth.” Our Core verses for this week will be Luke 1:1-4, found on page 1587 of your Pew Bibles. 1 Many have undertaken to draw up an account of the things that have been fulfilled[a] among us, 2 just as they were handed down to us by those who from the first were eyewitnesses and servants of the word. 3 With this in mind, since I myself have carefully investigated everything from the beginning, I too decided to write an orderly account for you, most excellent Theophilus, 4 so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught. Opening Prayer Heavenly Father, as we open the Gospel of Luke, give us eyes to recognize Your truth, ears to hear Your voice, and hearts ready to respond with thanksgiving. Just as Luke carefully recorded the life of our Savior, may we honor the story of Christ with excellence, gratitude, and faith. Shape us today by Your Word, and let our thanksgiving rise like a fragrant offering before You. In Jesus' name, Amen. Introduction: Luke's Gospel Begins with “Thanksgiving.” Unlike the dramatic beginnings of the other Gospels, Luke opens quietly—with something resembling a letter of dedication. He writes to “most honorable (excellent) Theophilus,” explaining why he has prepared such an orderly, carefully researched account. It is as though Luke begins his entire Gospel by saying: “Thank you for caring about truth. Thank you for seeking certainty. I wrote this so you can know for sure what God has done.” In a season where we pause to give thanks, Luke reminds us that thanksgiving is grounded in remembering. We cannot be thankful for what we forget. And we cannot build our faith on what we do not know. That is why Luke opens his Gospel with an invitation to excellence, truth, and gratitude. (Bulletin Insert) MAIN POINT 1 — Excellence in Research Luke 1:1–2 (NLT): "Many people have set out to write accounts about the events that have been fulfilled among us. They used the eyewitness reports circulating among us from the early disciples." Luke acknowledges that others had already tried to document the life of Jesus, but he felt compelled to go further. He wanted not a loose collection of memories,/ but a dependable record strong enough to support future generations of believers. A Historian Among Apostles Luke traveled widely with Paul. As they journeyed from city to city, Luke met...
Happy Friday edition of the program! It's an all Friends edition with Ryan Baker and DeVier Posey co-hosting. We open the show with Kyle Whittingham rumored to be going to Michigan and what that means for Ohio State. We react to the NFL and NBA played on Christmas Day. Ohio State takes on Miami very soon, and we listen to what Ryan Day has to say about the matchup. There's a concerning trend happening in College Basketball. We look at the NFL Playoffs and sneaky teams to watch. Tim May, What's Up, Thing or Not a Thing, What we Learned this week and 3 Things.
Welcome to Day 2759 of Wisdom-Trek. Thank you for joining me. This is Guthrie Chamberlain, Your Guide to Wisdom Day 2759– A Confident Life – Balancing Truth and Love – 3 John 1:1-15 Putnam Church Message – 11/16/2025 Sermon Series: 1, 2, & 3 John “Balancing Truth and Love" Last week, we explored the letter of 2 John and Learned how to have “A Confident Life: Balancing Love and Truth.” This week, we will focus on the letter of 3 John, and as we explore the fine art of “Balancing Truth and Love” from 3 John 1:1-15 in the NIV, found on page 1907 of your Pew Bibles. 1 The elder, To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. 2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. 3 It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 5 Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers and sisters,[a] even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church about your love. Please send them on their way in a manner that honors God. 7 It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. 8 We ought therefore to show hospitality to such people so that we may work together for the truth. 9 I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will not welcome us. 10 So when I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, spreading malicious nonsense about us. Not satisfied with that, he even refuses to welcome other believers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church. 11 Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil / but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. 12 Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone—and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true. 13 I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. 14 I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. 15 Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name. Opening Prayer Sometimes I hear Christians talk about returning to the simplicity, innocence, and purity of the early church. Before doctrinal decline. Before moral corruption. Before power-hungry leaders started wrangling over position. Before the sun set on the golden age of the apostles. The idea seems to be that the first generation of Christians could focus their attention on preaching the gospel without constantly dealing with problems in the...
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Troy Hudson. A deeply personal and insightful interview with former NBA player and author Troy “T-Hud” Hudson. Here's a breakdown of the key highlights and takeaways:
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Troy Hudson. A deeply personal and insightful interview with former NBA player and author Troy “T-Hud” Hudson. Here's a breakdown of the key highlights and takeaways:
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed Troy Hudson. A deeply personal and insightful interview with former NBA player and author Troy “T-Hud” Hudson. Here's a breakdown of the key highlights and takeaways:
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed James Green. Purpose of the Interview The interview aimed to showcase James Green’s entrepreneurial journey as the founder of KyuTeaCo (Kyushu Tea Company), a premium tea brand focused on curating authentic Japanese tea experiences. It highlighted his unique position as an African-American entrepreneur bridging cultures, his passion for tea, and his mission to educate consumers about tea’s health benefits and heritage. Key Takeaways Background & Inspiration James Green grew up in Atlanta, studied international business and Japanese, and lived in Japan for five years. His passion for tea began during a high school exchange program in Fukuoka, Japan, and deepened through cultural immersion. Business Model KyuTeaCo partners with eight small, organic tea-growing families in Kyushu, Japan. Direct-to-consumer and B2B approach: e-commerce platform launching soon, plus partnerships with cafes. Simplified supply chain: Farmers → Kuti Co → Customer (eliminates middlemen, ensures fair pay for farmers). Mission & Differentiation Focus on storytelling and cultural connection, not just selling tea. Educates consumers on tea’s health benefits (e.g., reducing hypertension and diabetes risks). Premium curated experience vs. mass-market tea brands. Challenges & Lessons Kickstarter campaign failed due to lack of collaborators and marketing reach. Learned importance of storytelling and emotional connection for crowdfunding success. Social Impact “11% for Good” Program: 11% of every sale goes to sustainability efforts for Japanese tea farming. Name significance: “11” in Japanese sounds like “ii,” meaning “good.” Future Plans Launching e-commerce in January. Exploring subscription models and virtual tea tastings. Goal: Build a brand that consumers care about through cultural education and premium experiences. Notable Quotes On launching a business:“I’m learning now more than anything, just launch it. Just go. You’ll build it brick by brick, day by day.” On cultural connection:“We’re not just selling tea; we’re telling the stories of Kyushu and these families. It’s about legacy and sustainability.” On social impact:“Every bag of tea someone buys, 11% goes toward rehabilitating the Japanese tea industry. We’re investing in their futures.” On entrepreneurship:“Anybody can sell a product. What we’re doing is creating an experience and educating people about the culture behind it.” #SHMS #STRAW #BESTSupport the show: https://www.steveharveyfm.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Two-time Emmy and Three-time NAACP Image Award-winning, television Executive Producer Rushion McDonald interviewed James Green. Purpose of the Interview The interview aimed to showcase James Green’s entrepreneurial journey as the founder of KyuTeaCo (Kyushu Tea Company), a premium tea brand focused on curating authentic Japanese tea experiences. It highlighted his unique position as an African-American entrepreneur bridging cultures, his passion for tea, and his mission to educate consumers about tea’s health benefits and heritage. Key Takeaways Background & Inspiration James Green grew up in Atlanta, studied international business and Japanese, and lived in Japan for five years. His passion for tea began during a high school exchange program in Fukuoka, Japan, and deepened through cultural immersion. Business Model KyuTeaCo partners with eight small, organic tea-growing families in Kyushu, Japan. Direct-to-consumer and B2B approach: e-commerce platform launching soon, plus partnerships with cafes. Simplified supply chain: Farmers → Kuti Co → Customer (eliminates middlemen, ensures fair pay for farmers). Mission & Differentiation Focus on storytelling and cultural connection, not just selling tea. Educates consumers on tea’s health benefits (e.g., reducing hypertension and diabetes risks). Premium curated experience vs. mass-market tea brands. Challenges & Lessons Kickstarter campaign failed due to lack of collaborators and marketing reach. Learned importance of storytelling and emotional connection for crowdfunding success. Social Impact “11% for Good” Program: 11% of every sale goes to sustainability efforts for Japanese tea farming. Name significance: “11” in Japanese sounds like “ii,” meaning “good.” Future Plans Launching e-commerce in January. Exploring subscription models and virtual tea tastings. Goal: Build a brand that consumers care about through cultural education and premium experiences. Notable Quotes On launching a business:“I’m learning now more than anything, just launch it. Just go. You’ll build it brick by brick, day by day.” On cultural connection:“We’re not just selling tea; we’re telling the stories of Kyushu and these families. It’s about legacy and sustainability.” On social impact:“Every bag of tea someone buys, 11% goes toward rehabilitating the Japanese tea industry. We’re investing in their futures.” On entrepreneurship:“Anybody can sell a product. What we’re doing is creating an experience and educating people about the culture behind it.” #SHMS #STRAW #BESTSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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