Podcasts about Voices in My Head

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2022 38:22

Part four of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastor David Donaldson

Victory Family Church - Newcastle

Voices In My Head - Part 4

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2022 34:49

Part Four of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head," with Pastor TJ VonWald

Voices In My Head - Part 4

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2022 36:43

Part four of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastor Adam Starling

The Next Man Up | Equipping Fathers | Raising Men

TNMU #221: The Voices In My Head

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2022 40:29

What do Charles Barkley, golf, toothpaste and Amy Grant have in common? They all make their way into this episode about sorting through and cleaning up the voices in your head. What are the voices in your head? Are they helping you or hurting you? Once you figure that out, then what can you do about it. That's where Mark and John go in this episode. Video References: Charles Barkley Interview: https://youtu.be/VkDq_6xlZhY?t=91 Charles Barkley Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMe6Lp4Ekbo Expanded Notes: Everyone deals with voices in their head; It's how you deal with them that matters Some summary reactions to Barkley's interview: Too many voices leads to confusion, distraction and lack of focus Pick a voice and go with it The voices, the lessons, the practicing, can feel like activity when it's actually keeping from you playing the game. Or they can become the quest for the next thing that will finally get you there Check your motivation and adjust accordingly Determine who the best voices are (the top 1-3) and focus there Not all head voices are positive, some are quite negative When you fail to execute, which voice(s) helps you to recover Anticipate 'the errant shot' so that when it happens you know how to recover Book Reference: The Inner Game of Golf by W. Timothy Gallwey.

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SCOTT BERRY • Your Life The Mixtape - Volume 3: Episode 14

Your Life: The Mix Tape

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2022 46:28

In episode fourteen, Greg talks life, love, the universe, and all things music with singer-songwriter, SCOTT BERRY!!!!Scott's album "Voices in My Head" is available right now wherever you stream music. You can also find Scott on Instagram at @scottberrymusic or @scott__berrySupport This Show

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BEST OF: An Open Message To Those With Fear, Worry, And Doubt — Ep. 161

Unstuck | Mindset Coaching For Women

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2022 30:25

Let's have a serious conversation. Let's talk about the fear, doubt, and the impostor syndrome, something most new entrepreneurs feel in their business. In this episode, I shared excerpts from the book Choose Wonder Over Worry by Amber Rae. This will help shift your perspective and look at the other side of what you're feeling. When you can build self-esteem instead of looking to the outside environment when you can applaud yourself, when you can choose yourself, you can overcome your fear. What you're feeling inside of you, doesn't have to be negative. The fear, the worry, the doubt, doesn't have to mean don't, it doesn't have to mean stop. Listen to this episode to learn more. "There is not anyone on this planet that is immune to this ego voices, that is immune to fear and worry and that is afraid to step out of their comfort zone." - Shawn Mynar "We have to start looking at how can we use our emotion and thoughts that actually propel us forward." - Shawn Mynar "Self-love is important, is paramount, is critical to having the successful business that you want." - Shawn Mynar "It is your choice what you believe inside your head." - Shawn Mynar +++ Choose Wonder Over Worry by Amber Rae - https://amzn.to/2VEtKcL UNSTUCK BIZ UNSTUCK ENTREPRENEUR INSTAGRAM SHAWNMYNAR.COM - Get the latest scoop +++ Enjoying the podcast? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE + leave a REVIEW and tell me why! I appreciate your support. FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT BELOW: 0:00 Hey, Hey there friends, Shawn here. And this is a best of episode of The unstuck entrepreneur podcast, where I'm taking the most popular most talked about most important episodes of the past, and bringing them back for an encore presentation. So enjoy the replay of this episode, and I'll be back in a few weeks with another new episode and fresh topic. 0:28 I'm Shawn Mynar, and this is unstuck a space for heart centered entrepreneurs to implement both the inner work and outer strategies required to get unstuck and build the impactful profitable business of their dreams, no hustle, grind, or long hours required. Let's get into today's session. 0:54 Hey, hey there, friends. Welcome back to the unstuck podcast. Thank you all for joining me for tuning in for subscribing, for downloading for all those things that you do to help this show be what it is, I am so grateful for all of you. Today, we're going to do things again, a little bit different because I'm still on a little bit of a hiatus from content creation. Actually, when you're listening to this, when it airs, I'm on my first vacation in two years, because of course, the world's shut down. So vacations weren't really a thing for a long time. And so now I'm taking a little bit of a breather away from my computer with my family and just having a really good time. And I actually get to see the ocean, which I haven't in two years either. So really pumped for that, and still kind of unwinding from the launch a few weeks ago of unstuck entrepreneur, and all of the content creation that if you have done a launch, you know is part of that process. And so I wanted to take a little bit of a break from doing that. But in the process, what I want to do today is actually showcase a piece of content that I think you guys will absolutely love that you absolutely need in your life. And I just want to pull some some information from that and and speak about what comes up when I say those words to you. But first, let me give you a real life story. That is what brought about this podcast episode. I wasn't planning on recording this kind of episode, even a few days ago. But because of things that happen in my own life, I decided it was the time. So let me tell you, let me set the scene with that story. It was Saturday night, I was flipping through the abundance of cable channels that I have available to me right now. And most of you know and if you don't only fill you in, we are currently living temporarily with my mother in law in her lower level, she has an entire part of her house that she doesn't use at all. So we moved in a few months ago, because we sold our condo at the height of the craziness that is the real estate market right now and couldn't find a place to live. Just crazy low inventory, ridiculous price hikes just not a good situation that we wanted to put ourselves in. So we are waiting out. And things are definitely taking a turn lately and we're seeing some normalcy in the market. So we're getting close to being able to find our dream home just maybe a few more months that I think I think I can make it I think I can do it. But anyway, I haven't had access to cable I haven't it hasn't been something that is something I want. For many, many years. My mother in law does have cable, and there's so many channels available these days. But here I am off track. What I want you to know is I happen to find that the notebook was on one of these cable channels. So I caught the last 45 minutes of the notebook, which back in the day used to be one of my favorite movies. And so I'm watching it, my wife is in and out watching it kind of interested but kind of not not really her thing as much as mine. And if you're not familiar with a notebook, if you haven't ever seen it, I'm not going to explain the whole thing because it doesn't really matter. But the key point that is important to this story is that the man there is a man I don't want to give away who it is, is reading a story to a woman. And so they're reading the story in present day and then they go back and kind of play out the story as the movie. That's all you need to know. So anyway, then my wife and I go to bed and I'm like hey 5:00 Let me read to you, I'm a big reader, she has her moments sometimes is into it sometimes isn't. Let me, let me read to you, we've done it in the past, I actually really like reading out loud. And she likes listening. So it was, it's a good mix. So I start reading the book that I am currently reading, which is what is going to be the focus of our episode today. And it's called choose wonder over worry, by Amber Ray, we have had this book on the shelf for over a year, at least probably two or three years, whenever it came out. My wife is a fan of amber ray. So as soon as this book came out, she grabbed it, I don't know if she actually read the whole thing if I'm being totally honest. But for whatever reason, after looking at this book on the shelf, for years and years, I finally decided to pick it up and start reading it. So when it's time for me to read to her, I'm on the chapter about envy. And just to give you a little background of this book, it is probably the best book that I have read and I have read a lot, a lot of personal growth, self development types of books, like I love them, I think they're great. Obviously, they enhance the message that I'm able to share with you here. So it's almost like helping, it's almost like studying for what I'm interested in and what I'm doing in my business and in my career. But I love it too. And this book is the best, I just love how it is laid out. I love her personality and how and she infuses that in the book. It's just it's so good. It's casual, but it also is deep at the same time. I highly recommend it, which is why I'm spending a whole podcast episode talking about it. And why I will continue to encourage you to get your hands on this book. This is not sponsored, Amber Ray doesn't know I'm talking about this, I don't think she's gonna mind don't think I'm doing anything illegal here by talking about her book. She has no idea this is happening. But this is how much I love this book. So anyway, we're in bed Saturday night, and I start reading the chapter on envy, I get a few pages in and I stopped because you know, after a few pages, it's like I don't think I need to keep reading out loud. But this prompts and pretty emotional conversation between me and my wife, which I'm obviously not going to get into the details. That's personal stuff. But what you need to know is that she is in the process very, very close to like within a matter of weeks, launching a new business and new concept, something she's never done, just like everything about it is very new, very fresh, very scary. There's a lot of unknowns, she is starting from this kind of low point where she will have to develop her skills, develop her talent developed her knowledge as she goes. And there are people in this space who have been doing it for 10 plus years that she's kind of watching and seeing what they do. And of course in the process, comparing herself to those people. So since she is weeks out from launching this thing, and has been working for so long on getting it up to speed and getting everything ready. And all it has already had a ton of hurdles to go through. And she has gotten through them. Her voices in her head are getting louder and louder. And what is coming up the most from her and these voices is imposter syndrome, and fear and worry and all the things that we talked about here so much on unstuck, and the ego voice, that inner critic voice that does make itself known quite often in all of us. And it is so common to just something to just know is going to happen. As you get closer and closer and closer to doing something scary to putting yourself out there to getting out of your comfort zone. They get louder and louder and louder. And so this conversation I had with my wife led me to start thinking, Hey, maybe I should have a similar conversation on the podcast and just have this open dialogue, this open a message to all of you out there that are dealing with fear, myself included. There is not anyone on this planet that is immune to those ego voices that is immune to fear and worry and that is afraid to step out of their comfort zone to try something new to potentially fail at 10:00 this new thing. So this is a conversation about that. And I want to use this book choose wonder, over worry as a conduit to help along this conversation, because that's exactly what we did my wife and I, that prompted this really important conversation that we needed to have. And it really gave my wife the space to be able to talk about it to be able to put words to it, and and acknowledge what was really going on within her. So I'm going to take a few paragraphs of the book and read them to you here, and then just kind of pick out some of the key pieces that I really want to make sure to leave you with, and how they can show up and how they can look in your life. Okay, so I'm going to start with the chapter on envy. Like I mentioned, that was what I read to my wife. And this paragraph in particular, I think is really powerful and really got my wife thinking and may also do the same for you. 11:08 All right, what came next was the difficult work of learning to love and applaud and choose myself. It was only through doing this that I finally learned how to cultivate a sense of self esteem. And for me, that came when I showed up at the page, every single day, it came when I focus on the projects that lit me up, rather than where they would lead me. It came when I measured myself, not against them. But instead against where I was last week. It came when I learned to see my envy as inspiration of what's possible, and their success as a signal that there's room for us all. And when yet another person accomplished something that was still a seed inside of me, I learned to replace the worry voice that said, You're behind with just keep going. And eventually why not me became if they can do it. So can I. 12:06 So a few things I want to point out here. First of all, obviously, we're talking about a situation where she's comparing her work to others, she's feeling like she's behind. She's feeling like what's the point, this is very much typical imposter syndrome, that the vast, vast, vast majority of us go through and have those thoughts and emotions around our work, especially when we're just getting started and seeing and watching people that have been doing it for two 510 2030 years. And it ends up being this comparison trap that is just natural to get into. So please, if you are noticing that and yourself, don't feel like that is a bad thing, or that is abnormal, or trying to shut it down without actually looking into it. It is normal, it happens to most of us. And it's something that we have to start looking at in terms of how can we use that emotion and those thoughts to actually propel us forward. And so as Amber says, and this is what I love that most people don't talk about, especially in the business world, is finding love for yourself. Yes, self love is important is paramount is critical to having the successful business that you want. Because like Amber says, when you can build self esteem, instead of looking to the outside environment, where you can applaud yourself when you can choose yourself. 13:56 And we do that by putting our investment, time, energy, money, whatever it is, by investing in yourself. By doing the work by showing up every day, as Amber said, she's a writer, her big goal was to write this book that I now have in my hand. And it was something that was causing her to stumble quite a bit. It just was showing up to write every single day, page by page. For me, it is showing up for my business, figuring things out as I go. And that is how I now have gotten where I am in half now almost nine years into my business is just by showing up every day, little by little, not trying to look at the big picture and then looking at everyone else's big picture that doesn't look like mine yet and starting to compare starting to envy others it's by choosing myself 15:00 off, it's by you choosing yourself, it's by you cultivating a sense of a love for yourself. For the work you're doing for the impact, you want to make the income you want to make the life you want to provide for yourself, and whoever else you're providing for. That is you showing up for yourself, that is you turning the tables and taking your eyes back on your own paper back on your own work back on your own journey and yourself, instead of looking to the outside to determine what it should look like what you should be doing, where you should be at how it should be going. All these shoulds that make up imposter syndrome, turning it back on you. And then another key piece of this paragraph that shows a really good example of things we talk about here a lot, which is the fact that you have the ability, it is your choice, what you believe inside your head, if you believe those voices that tell you you can't, or if you believe the voices that tell you can which are also inside of you to just usually the voice that says that you can't is louder, and it's the one we listened to. But there is the other side, the truthful side as well. So as Amber says she was able to replace those voices that were saying that she's behind, we're saying that she can do this, why not me? Why am I not there yet? With the ones that say, just keep going? Just keep showing up. 16:39 And you have the ability, you have the power we all do to be able to do that for yourself. You are in charge here. What do you want to be saying to yourself every day when you show up for your business? 16:56 All right, next little paragraph that I want to share with you comes from the chapter on fear. It's a little long, so bear with me. But just remember, I'm like Noah, reading to ally in the notebook. We're doing that here on the unstuck podcast. Okay. It took me a long time to realize that when I'm afraid and when terror is pulsating through my veins, this is not a signal that something is wrong. Fear is not an enemy working against me, or a force that I need to go to war with and try to overcome. Fear has been wired in our systems for millions of years as a mechanism to keep us safe. The aim isn't to undo our response to fear or try to change it. It's to welcome it and learn how to have a relationship with it is to see fear as a reminder that we are alive. I just want to stop there real quick. I thought I was gonna read the whole thing. But let me just have a little intermission here. That is super important right here, we have to consider this. We are the ones determining that fear is this awful, scary enemy. But what if instead, fear is not a bad thing. Fear is just another signal. And maybe it could even be a signal that you are on the right path, that you are doing the right thing that something magical is on its way to you. So we have the power also to determine how we connect with fear what the translation is. And it doesn't have to be a bad thing. And Amer goes on to reinforce that. So now we'll get back into the paragraph. As a rule of thumb, the louder the voice in your head, the more you're moving toward something worthwhile. If you felt fully confident and comfortable, you wouldn't be stretching yourself and growing. You wouldn't be moving toward creating a life that reflects who you truly are. When I'm stepping outside my comfort zone, it doesn't feel very magical. At least not at first. It's messy, uncomfortable, terrifying. The worry voices in my head start going haywire and screaming for safety. It's when I second guessed myself, overthink everything, feel all the fields and want to run the other way. It's why after I started my own business, I kept looking for jobs. It's why a few pieces of harsh feedback caused me to put off pursuing a book for years. It's why when I made a serious commitment and love, I freaked out. Eventually I realized that my anxiety and very loud and urgent worry voice yelling danger is the very clear signal that I am leaving my comfort zone. The point is not to escape the discomfort silence the fear or make the feelings go away. It's to learn 20:00 To feel them, see them and move with them. And that is when the magic happens. The magic happens when we embrace and acknowledge all of our emotions, rather than try to push them away. The magic happens when we feel blindfolded and lost in the dark. And were just curious enough to see what lies a few steps farther, and a few steps farther. And a few more. The magic happens when we walk with fear, rather than flee from it, and see every moment of uncertainty and discomfort as an opportunity to explore the unconscious parts within us. As we learn to do this, the worthwhile vision tugging at our hearts will become real tangible, out from inside of us and into the world. And isn't that the whole point to express who we are, and what we have to give? Oh my gosh, does that not just give you chills? That is such a powerful message, I hope just that what I just read shows you the kind of book that it is and how real the stories are, and how relatable she makes it out to be, please, please go get this book choose wonder over worry by Amber Ray. What I really love about what I just shared is, again, this message that what you're feeling inside of you doesn't have to be something negative, the fear, the worry, that doubt, it doesn't have to mean don't, it doesn't have to mean stop. Instead, it actually means that you are in the right place that you are about to do something magical. And that you are about to share your gifts with the world in a brand new way in a way that is so powerful, and so needed. You are about to contribute to the world, what you have to offer, your purpose here, your passion, your experience, your expertise, your education, you as a business owner, whether you are just on the verge of starting your business and scared whether you have dipped your toe into building your business, but are still holding on to that safety net of a job you don't love. Or whether you are fully invested in your business, and are on the brink of taking it to the next level or trying something different or expanding your offerings. All of that comes with fear comes with worry comes with doubt comes with impostor syndrome. And that is normal. And that is expected. And you are exactly where you should be you are experiencing exactly what we expect you to experience. But it's how you translate that that makes the difference between whether you go after it and take the leap and do something magical. Or you stay stuck. You stay in your comfort zone. You keep telling yourself the stories that keep you from moving forward. And you believe those stories, 23:30 fear worry, impostor syndrome, and V. What if those feelings? What if those emotions? And what if the thoughts that are charged with those emotions aren't meant to keep you standing still? 23:48 What if they are there to keep you moving forward anyway? What if they are the signs and signals that you are doing something important that you are creating a different life for yourself that you are starting a business that will surely succeed? 24:06 We have the ability to determine what those feelings mean, and what power those thoughts have over us. And all it takes. We talk about it all the time is knowing that that's what's going on. And using that power that you have because this is your life. This is your mind. These are your thoughts. You get to decide 24:34 to move forward, instead of standing still to come to your business every day with the intention to move forward. That is all it takes. And you do that over and over and over again. And then you have a business that is thriving and impactful and successful. And yes, you 25:00 don't have fear almost every day, but you know what it means, you know, the message that it's really trying to get across to you, which is keep going, which is you are on the verge of creating something magical, where you are on the right path. That is what we can do with the fear that we all feel as entrepreneurs. And this is not even just for business, we feel fear in so many different areas of our lives. 25:30 We can apply this to every scenario, where we are on the verge of doing something great for ourselves. And that voice tries to keep us back. And it only tries to keep us back, because that's how you've interpreted it. So can it instead be something that propels you forward with even more passion, even more vigor? 25:57 I think it can. And this book is going to give you the tools to get you there. So once again, taking a backseat from my own content, and instead, guiding you to something I think would be really beneficial for every single one of you out there. If you are a reader, grab the book, choose wonder over worry by Amber Ray. If not, it's on audio, I'm sure you can get on Audible or something like that. Check that out, too. All right, my friends. With that I will leave you while I head on vacation and have a few days off. But don't worry, I will still be showing my dance moves over on my social media at unstuck Entrepreneur on Instagram. Yes, I have gotten to the point where not only am I loving creating reels, but I'm actually learning the trending dances on reels and doing them for public consumption. I don't know what it's gotten into me. But it's super fun. And I really love it. And it gives me a new way to recreate content where you know, some of the stuff that we're used to doing posting the pictures, posting the quotes, things like that, that we are used to doing on social media. Honestly, it's, I think it's gotten a little stale for all of us. And so for me, I just love that reels, give me a new way to share my work with the world in a really fun way. So that's what I'm doing over there. Please be sure to follow if you're not already at unstuck Entrepreneur on Instagram and send me a message while you're there. slide into my DMs and introduce yourself. Let me know who you are, what you're up to what kind of business you have or want to have. And we can chat about it. Alright, until next time, take care. If you're like most of my clients, you followed your passion for health, got your certifications did the trainings. And now you're excited to have your very own thriving impactful wellness business. But 28:00 how do you actually do that? It's a common position to be in, especially in the wellness space because no one teaches you this whole business thing along the way. This trend is exactly why I'm here a passionate nutritionists turn business coach for wellness professionals. Because I'm done seeing wellness practitioners continue to play small in their business, simply because they don't know the right steps to take. If you're like most wellness pros out there with a dream to start their own impactful freedom build business. You've probably spent hours trying to build your website, figure out what the heck to post on social media and taking all the courses to try to get competent in what you're doing. Or maybe just the thought of all that sends you into a puddle of stress and overwhelm 28:50 good news, you don't need a perfect website a killer Instagram strategy, or to be an expert to have an impactful and successful business. What you do need is a plan. The wellness business blueprint is the Jumpstart you need to plan prepare and execute on your passion for helping others without that sinking feeling of overwhelm. Because this isn't like the other stuffy, boring business plans out there. The wellness business blueprint is centered around you, what feels good to you, what's right for your business, your dreams and your lifestyle. What keeps you in alignment and your energy flowing? 29:35 What allows you to stay sane and stress free and excited in your business? Because building your dream wellness business starts with a plan that works for you. This free 15 Page printable workbook will take you through my signature flow and grow business framework so you can create your own business vision while gaining clarity structure and a solid 30:00 plan to move forward. Download it today and get started on your business blueprint head to Shawnmynar.com/WBB that stands for wellness business blueprint and get started building your dream wellness business today. Again, that's Shawnmynar.com/WBB

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Sateli 3 - 15 canciones de Power Pop y Pop a secas (2006 - 2020) - 23/08/22

Sateli 3

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2022 58:54

Sintonía: "Alphaville" - Louis Philippe & The Night Mail "Voices In My Head", "Pray For Rain" y "Losing Time" - Bob Mould; "Caught Me Off Guard" e "It´s Alright" - The Reflectors; "Football" - Trust Fund; "City Lights" y "Guilty" - The Frank & Walters; "The Security Place" y "Remember Fun" - Wake The President; "Jamaica" - Theme Park; "Remind You" - Friendship; "Gold Leaf" - Wild Honey; "West Gwillimbury" - Ron Sexmith; "Rio Grande" - Louis Philippe & The Night Mail Escuchar audio

Raising you relationship standards, lonely men, scams and the impact on your energy & what you receive in life when you focus on too much of the wrong thing.

Thrive with Duff

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2022 33:43

OMG between the voices in my head, Etsy scams and bursting into tears at anything related to women empowerment -- last week in my life was an emotional rollercoaster ride! But it also showered me with golden nuggets, I felt important to share -- which is why on Sunday morning -- just before heading to pick up my Botox in a bottle from Covent garden - I recorded a podcast episode to give you the low down and the nuggets!! In the episode, I also share my POV on an article that came out last week “the rise of the lonely single man” -- and let's just say the time has come when men are feeling the impact of women raising their standards and stepping into their full magnificent power. Finally, you have realised your path in life is to thrive in a life full of pleasure and joy where you can have everything you desire. AND if you want someone to share life with your standards are higher -- Your partner must be an elevating addition that compliments your already thriving life (and vice versa!)-- you are no longer prepared to mother someone, feel you have to drag your partner along with you or settle for the bare minimum from someone in a relationship with. Enjoy Tune into the episode to learn valuable life lessons AND receive a huge scoop of motivation and empowerment for yourself and your love life. Enjoy the podcast and if you find the episode helpful please rate and review over on Apple. Share with your BFF and reach out to me on social and let me know your biggest takeaway The article mentioned in the episode: the rise of the lonely single man Useful links and how to connect with me. Grab my E-Book: 4 steps to drastically improve your love life this year Find out about my course to transform you and your love life: The secure and confident woman in love project If you need advice or have a question about dating or relationships then ask a question anonymously here by filling out this form. ask a question or seek advice anonymously here Or reach me here: JOIN MY FREE FACEBOOK GROUP Instagram:@sarah_duff_ Tik Tok You Tube Website:www.thrivewithduff.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/lovewithduff/message

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Voices In My Head - Part 3

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2022 37:35

Part three of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with pastor TJ VonWald

Voices In My Head - Part 3

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2022 34:06

Part three of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastor Travis Jones

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EA - How to find reliable ways to improve the future? by Sjlver

The Nonlinear Library

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2022 2:48

Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: How to find reliable ways to improve the future?, published by Sjlver on August 18, 2022 on The Effective Altruism Forum. I hear two conflicting voices in my head, and in EA: Voice: it's highly uncertain whether deworming is effective, based on 20 years of research, randomized controlled trials, and lots of feedback. In fact, many development interventions have a small or negative impact. Same voice: we are confident that work for improving the far future is effective, based on . I believe that I could become convinced to work on artificial intelligence or extinction risk reduction. My main crux is that these problems seem intractable. I am worried that my work would have a negligible or a negative impact. These questions are not sufficiently addressed yet, in my opinion. So far, I've seen mainly vague recommendations (e.g., "community building work does not increase risks" or "look at the success of nuclear disarmament"). Examples of existing work for improving the far future often feel very indirect (e.g., "build a tool to better estimate probabilities ⇒ make better decisions ⇒ facilitate better coordination ⇒ reduce the likelihood of conflict ⇒ prevent a global war ⇒ avoid extinction") and thus disconnected from actual benefits for humanity. One could argue that uncertainty is not a problem, that it is negligible when considering the huge potential benefit of work for the far future. Moreover, impact is fat-tailed, and thus the expected value dominated by a few really impactful projects, and thus it's worth trying projects even if they have low success probability[1]. This makes sense, but only if we can protect against large negative impacts. I doubt we really can — for example, a case can be made that even safety-focused AI researchers accelerate AI and thus increase its risks.[2] One could argue that community building or writing "what we owe the future" are concrete ways to do good for the future . Yet this seems to shift the problem rather than solve it. Consider a community builder who convinces 100 people to work on improving the far future. There are now 100 people doing work with uncertain, possibly-negative impact. The community builder's impact is some function f(x1,...,x100) which is similarly uncertain and possibly negative. This is especially true if x is fat-tailed, as the impact will be dominated by the most successful (or most destructive) people. To summarize: How can we reliably improve the far future, given that even near-termist work like deworming, with plenty of available data and research and rapid feedback loops and simple theories, so often fails? As someone who is eager to do spend my work time well, who thinks that our moral circle should include the future, but who does not know ways to reliably improve it... what should I do? Thanks for listening. To help us out with The Nonlinear Library or to learn more, please visit nonlinear.org.

Voices In My Head - Part 2

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2022 39:13

Part two of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastor Adam Starling

Victory Family Church - Newcastle

Voices In My Head - Part 2

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2022 37:42

Part two of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastor Matt Porter

Voices In My Head - Part 2

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2022 37:07

Part two of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastor David Donaldson

kickstarter cat convention hot takes bloopers gencon voices in my head cge days of wonder recent games ambie werewords grey fox games

Episode 163 - Gen Con Hot Takes

Board Game Blitz

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2022 40:07

Ambie, Crystal, and special guest Nick (@Nyobari) discuss a couple games they played recently, including Master Word, Voices In My Head, and Cat in the Box: Deluxe Edition. We then ask Nick about his time at Gen Con and hear some of his hot takes! Announcements: 0:38 Recent Games: 4:18 Gen Con Hot Takes: 17:04 Outro: 38:16 Bloopers: 39:20 Check out Ambie's book on Kickstarter now! The last day is Tuesday, August 16! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ambierona/board-game-day Join our discord: https://discord.gg/WvRVnVeYMS Master Word: https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/302734/master-word Voices In My Head: https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/354254/voices-my-head Cat in the Box: Deluxe Edition: https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/345972/cat-box-deluxe-edition Support us at https://www.patreon.com/boardgameblitz This episode was sponsored by Grey Fox Games. Use the code 'GFGBLITZ2022' for 20% off non-exclusive items from their site: http://www.greyfoxgames.com/ For the full show notes visit our site at http://www.boardgameblitz.com/posts/329

Voices In My Head - Part 1

Victory Family Church - Newcastle

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 37:48

Part one of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head"

Voices In My Head - Part 1

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 34:05

Part one of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head"

Voices In My Head - Part 1 ft. Darnell Blake, Terah Lawson, and Brielle Bunn

darnell voices in my head bunn terah

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2022 38:06

Part one of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastors Darnell Blake, Terah Lawson, and Brielle Bunn

Voices In My Head - Part 1 ft. Jill Everaard, Seth Everaard, and Doug Everaard

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2022 38:53

Part one of our sermon series, "Voices In My Head", with Pastors Jill Everaard, Seth Everaard, and Doug Everaard

Women World Leaders' Podcast

313. Empowering Lives with Purpose, Interview with Donna Clare

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 37:58

Eating disorders and self harm are struggles of the flesh that many in this world deal with. Today's guest, our sister Woman World Leader Donna Clare from the UK, shares her personal testimony about battling a dependency, which God has so graciously freed her from. May Donna's spoken testimony be an inspiration of hope and encouragement to others who face life's challenges and who are looking for a way to overcome. With God all things are possible! *** Kimberly Hobbs Welcome to Empowering Lives with Purpose, and I am your host, Kimberly Hobbs. I'm the founder of Women World Leaders. Ladies, we are so happy that you decided to join us today. And I'd like to welcome our guest today. Donna Claire. Donna Clare Hi. Good to be with you all. Kimberly Hobbs Hi, Donna, we are so glad that you've joined us all the way from the UK, the United Kingdom. Ooh. So, ladies, what we like to do here and empowering lives with purpose is just that we are here to strengthen, inspire and encourage you and your walked with with the Lord Jesus Christ. And we are here to help with stories and different things that some of the guests come on and share. God says every believer has received grace gifts. So use them to serve one another as faithful stewards of the many color tapestry of God's grace. That's First Peter 4:10. And I thought that was such a beautiful verse to share that we all have different gifts, and we're encouraged by the Lord to share those grace gifts that he has so graciously given. So ladies, you have a purpose. God has a purpose and a plan for your life. We are glad you're here. And we're hoping that through sharing, sharing different stories from different women around the world, that you can be sparked into thinking about what it is that God has ordained for your life. So I want to share a little bit about our guest today, Donna, she's single, she works as a teaching and learning assistant in a primary school. And her degree is in theatre studies and writing performances, which is super exciting. Her passion is to write plays and scripts and bring glory to God. I admire that that's beautiful. We can do it for all other reasons. But you do it to bring glory to God, Donna, she sings in the worship team and is in Gospel Choir. She loves nature. And when she isn't singing, acting and dancing, she loves walking in nature. So ladies, before we begin, please remember that we're all women who are known by our Creator, God knows each of us in our own beautiful way because He created us or his masterpiece. And some of us have overcome tremendous challenges, heavy struggles, and some of us are still in the midst of pain and struggling and suffering. And then there are those of us who will speak life into others and empower them. We are all just ordinary women. And we are called by God to do extraordinary things. And each of us has the ability to do extraordinary things. So our guest today from the UK is a woman world leader. In fact, she is part of her women World Leaders Group. And God put a nudge in Donna's heart to share with us so she reached out to me and asking if it would be possible to share her story. So as I got to know Donna a little bit, I felt God's prompting to allow her to share her story today. And Donald's Dona has struggled with eating disorder with an eating disorder and also self harm. And God says Colin, me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory that song 5015 And you know what, as I got to know Donna, I thought wow, God, this verse is amazing because you rescue Donna from self harm you rescue Donna from this eating disorder. And now she wants to declare that she wants to give God the glory. And I said yes, please come on and share. Let's talk about this. So I'm Donna, can you share a bit about you and who you are and your story with the ladies? Donna Clare Yes, of course. So I from a very young age, I was bullied at school and at primary school and then when I went to secondary school, I was also bullied. And then when I got to secondary school, it was more than one person. So I started to think well There's got to be something wrong with me. Because all these people can't be wrong. And there's something wrong with me there's got to be an I just started to really hate who I was, I hated everything about myself. I, I really just, I was feeling sad, I didn't share a lot of the time with anyone that I was being bullied, I kept it all inside. And I, I then it was, I think I was in about year eight, which is like 12 year olds 12 to 13 year olds, and my friend lent me a pair of her jeans to go to a disco with, but they didn't fit me. And in my head, that was I'm fat, I need to lose weight, not I'm a different body shape to her, which now in hindsight, I can see we were just different body shapes, I wasn't going to fit in those jeans. But in my head, it was I'm fat, I need to lose weight. So and at the roundabout at the same time, I had some family issues going on. And there was like family arguments. And I blame myself and I know that was one of the triggers to get in the eating disorder. So I then started to cut out things like chocolate crisps, chips, the things that you know, like with fattening and then gradually, I started to skip meals, so I became anorexic, I will try and avoid food as much as, excuse me as much as I could. I, I just I had this relationship with food that I didn't deserve it I didn't deserve to eat, I wasn't good enough, I was a waste of space, what was the point of me being on this planet, I, I had all these thoughts swirling around in my head that I shouldn't eat, I didn't deserve it, I was bad. And then some people started to see that I was not eating as much. So they decided that they would try and help me by force feeding me, which was one of the worst things they could have done because then I started to make myself sick. So because they were making me when I didn't want to because they were controlling me and my eating disorder, the eating disorder was about control. So I wanted to control something because everything, I couldn't control the bullies, I couldn't control what was happening in my family. I couldn't control anything else, but I could control what I ate. So I decided that I would control my food. So when these people they were trying to help. And I don't begrudge them that they were worried about me, but they sort of made it worse because they made I didn't have the control anymore. And I really couldn't handle having food. If I felt full I couldn't handle it. I just felt disgusting inside. So I then started to make myself sick. And then yeah, I just felt like I needed punishment that I was wrong. There's got to be something wrong with me if I lose weight, maybe people are like me more. And and also I did like not just the the the eating disorder it was I would cut myself I would pull my hair, I would hit myself, I would bite myself, I would take my nails and anything I could do to hurt me. And I would do like I really, I was hurting inside had so much pain inside. I didn't know how to express that. And the only thing I could do was to hurt myself. And when I hurt myself, like all the frustration and anger went away, he sort of helped me to Yeah, just helped me to get all the feelings inside because I just used to stuff all the feelings inside. And so that's why I used to hurt myself as well. And yeah, I just I tried to avoid food whenever I could, I'd say oh, I've eaten I don't need to have dinner, I've already had something to eat. I would go in even going out for me it was traumatic because I felt like everyone was looking at me. So I would think everyone was looking at me saying why is she eating she's big enough. She doesn't need to eat. And, and I wasn't I obviously wasn't big at all. But in my head I was so it's like a distorted image. What Pete other people would see and what is in the mirror is not what I see, or what I saw. I just saw this really massive person. So yeah, I just I really hated myself. That's all I can say. I just felt disgusting. I didn't feel like I was loved. I didn't feel like I felt like if I wasn't here nor there. It wouldn't matter to anyone. They wouldn't care if I wasn't here. And I just felt really like alone. And on my own and like I couldn't share it with only one and and like, like the voices in my head would tell me I wasn't good enough. And then they would say oh, you can't eat so like for an example it would be like oh, you can't eat that food if you eat that you need to get rid of it. And then when when I did if I did get rid of it by making myself sick, the voice would then say You're disgusting. You can't show anyone with that. Look at you now you're even worse than you were before. And it was just like these tormenting thoughts all the time that would like invade my mind and would really Yeah, just make me feel really horrible. I just hated everything about myself. Every single thing I couldn't give you a positive at that point in my life. Because it just felt I was so wrong and like I needed punishment. So yeah, Kimberly Hobbs This was through your childhood years into your teen years. Donna Clare Yeah, to and then to my early 20s. So when I was at university as well, so it was So, yeah, it was from about, I started with the eating disorder when I was about 13. And but the other sort of self harm stuff I'd been doing from probably the age of 910. Just because I just, I felt shame, I felt disgusting. And I was abused as a child by other children as well. So that's a factor. So I was I had, I didn't know it was shame at the time, as a child, I just had this just felt wrong. I just felt like, everything was everything was wrong about me, and I was hideous, is the way I can describe it. If I just hated everything about myself, I had no self worth, or anything, I just hated who I was. And I controlled everything by my food, because I wanted control because I felt everything. And everyone was controlling me. And I needed control. So I will say when I when I won't eat, and no one can take that control away from me. So that was yeah, that was that was that was my, my childhood. But in another sense, it sounds really, really bad. All of that. But in another sense, I had, like, I did have friends who were good friends. And then you know, there's some of my childhood was good in the sense. But inside, I just hated myself, I was good at wearing a mask. So a lot of people wouldn't know, there was anything wrong, because I could I could turn it on if that makes sense. I could. Yes, yeah. I'm fine. Nothing wrong with me. I'm fine. Kimberly Hobbs The counterfeit Donna. Yes, you're pleasing everyone else. And but inside, this was your way of controlling what what happened with you and what you did and what you allowed and not allowed in those quiet places. So, you know, I I know your story. And I just want you to share with the listeners how, as you developed into, you know, a teenager and then into your young 20s This had such a clench on you this this horrible addiction, you know, like, we're gonna call that that addiction where your mind you know, you you were controlled in your mind by something else other than the Spirit of the Lord, and letting our sinful nature control our mind leads to death, and you are on that path to death. But letting the spirit control your mind leads to life in peace. That's Romans eight, verse six. So let loose and let us know how God freed you. Because the Lord says, Who the sun sets free is free indeed, if you if the sun sets you free, you are truly free. That's John 836. Donna, I know dear that you are free. Let's hear how that happened. Donna Clare So in my final year at university, I met a lady who was on a teacher training for the theater course. And I would choose to ask him to get poorly. So she got ill. And so she took over and invited me on a holiday. So I went to Italy with 30 people I didn't know. And I said yes, because I've never flown on a plane before at this point. And I just thought this would be my graduation presents for myself. And unbeknown to me at the time, probably about 70% of those people were Christians. And I didn't know. And so I was on the holiday, everything was fine. Then when we came back, we had a post holiday get together. And it was on a Sunday. And the couple he was driving, we said you don't have to come to church, you know, we're not gonna force you to come to church, you can sit in Barbara's house, if you like. And I was like, Barbara had a lot of animals at the time. So I said, No, I'll come to church. It's okay. So the only way I can describe it is the moment I walked through the doors of the church, I felt like I've gone home. And I, to this day, I don't know what the people just loved me. People were hugging me, which I was like, Who are these people? And they will they loved me and accepted me. So I went on a journey of asking questions. And then in the February 2003, I remember it very well. I decided that I believe this Jesus is real. So I took communion for the first time. And then in the June 2003, I got baptized, first of June 2003. That will be 18 years ago, in June this year, best decision I ever made in my whole life. So I was still struggling. And some of the people because on the holiday I'd actually collapsed twice. I'd collapsed on the holiday twice as some of them had an idea because one of them was a nurse and she was like you need to get help. And I was like, I'm fine. But then so I started my journey and God took me out of my church actually in the September and I got a job with a Christian Theatre Company. Wow. And I told primary schools around the country and I I remember this well, we will perform and part of the show in the church service. And they had to in the morning because it was a big church. And in the second in the first service, the agenda, the pastor said, there are people in this room with strongholds in their life. And God is saying to you that today, you need to give him those strongholds. And I just went back to me, I need to give the eating disorder to God and said, You need to clench your fist. And when you let go, you've given the stronghold to God. So I did. And I clench my fist, and I went, you can have it and I had, I was running up and down the aisles, because I just felt this weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Yeah, it was amazing. And then some of my church family have come to support me in the second one. So I was like, I've given the eating disorder to God, I've given the eating disorder to God, and they were like, hallelujah, we've been praying for this is so good. And then obviously, it was a journey. So it took, it was a long journey took probably about 655, or six years for me to be completely free. And maybe maybe less than that, actually. But I went on a journey. And I had to trust God. So one of the scriptures, one of one of the psalms that really helped me was Psalm 139. That wherever I go, whatever I'm doing, God is with me, that even when I go like into when I feel like I'm in the darkness, darkness isn't dark to God, it's still light. And I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. And God knows when I stand when I sit is fashion to me in my mother's womb, He knows every detail of my life. And it really helped me to know actually, God sees me, God knows me, I do matter. Because obviously, at that point, I felt like I was worthless. And these people in my church family are so loving and caring, I just felt so accepted by them, which was unknown to me before then, because I've been rejected so many times and bullied, I just, that's what drew me to the church because they loved me and accepting me for who I was. And then obviously, Jesus because He saved me, He died for me. Yeah, and I was journeying through, and I it was, it was difficult. It helped to actually been away from home because I was away from home initially, because I was with the theater company for a couple of months. And my church when they were praying for me at home, I, it was like, once, one step forward, two steps back, because I just started the journey. And there were good days and bad days, but I kept focusing on God, I kept crying out to him praying and spending time with him, you know, worshipping Him because there's power in worship because I felt bad and worship. And, and then I remember, I was just so struggling. And I had fear in my life as well, because I was afraid to eat, you know, I had all this fear. And I remember my one of my friends speaking down the phone to me, Joshua one, verse nine, have I not commanded you? Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged for the Lord, your God will be with you wherever you go. And I was like, okay, where I need to be. Unknown Speaker So we do not need to fear. So yeah, I did. I did. It was it was it was crazy. It was like a crazy time, but it was a good time. And I was so like, on fire for God. So I wanted to share and I wanted to help everybody. But I wasn't at that point, I realized I wasn't ready. So I, I worked with another group in the theatre company the next year. So in 2004, and it was, there was another girl who was in my team, and she was actually struggling to she had an eating disorder. And she was talking to me and I was trying to help her. And the family I live with actually said to me, I don't know, I've never seen you so stressed before. And I went backwards. It was dragging me back because I was only on my recovery journey. Like knew it was only six months, so I wasn't ready to help someone else I needed to get me Well, first I needed to be healed work fully for like healed and restored before I could help someone else and that and that was hard. That was one of the hardest times it was like God, have you left? And he's like, No, I told you I would never leave you and one of the verses, a key verse that I still have uneasy, particularly in the Amplified Version I love it is Hebrews 13 Verse five, and it's the second part and I will not in any way fail, you know, give up on you know, I'll leave you without support I will not and he says this three times, I will not I will not in any degree leave you without help, or forsake, you know, let you down or release my hold on you. And that's been one of the key verses as well, like God is not going to fail me. It's okay that if I make mistakes, or something else I've learned it's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to have blips as long as I run to God, and not anybody else. I run away from him, but run to him and just calmly say, God, I'm sorry, please help me. Help me cope. I know. Oh, yeah. So that was a tough section. But then I just I just kept going. We've got I just I had to trust I had to learn to trust God and another verse that has come that has been a key was proverbs three verse five, trusting the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him, He will make your paths straight. I took I took deep into into God and I, yeah, he freed me freed me. You freed me from some of the self harm was straight away, like I stopped cutting myself straight away when I became a Christian because I felt like I was quoting Jesus. Yeah, the other stuff like that hurt to myself by hitting myself. I, because it was a habit, because I've done it for so long. It took it took years to like, become free from that. God did it in layers. And this is this is something God had to do it in layers. God couldn't take the eating disorder and the self harm away from me, just like that. He had to do it. Layer by layer, like an onion is a layer like layer by layer, because it was my whole identity was on centered around the anorexia and the self harm. So we had to do it layer by layer. So we do a layer, I'd become free and it was amazing. And then when I was ready, and strongly go right now we need to deal with this. It'll be like once I thought we've done everything. He's like, No, we've got you've got to go deeper. So we eat just he's been doing it layer by layer by layer, and I can honestly tell you today, I love who God's made me. I'm free, completely free. And God did it. Oh, it was nothing to do with me. He did it all. And I'm free. I love him. He's made me to be I'm not a people pleaser anymore. I please God and God alone, I've learned. I've learned to not be a perfectionist, because of part of the journey. I was a perfectionist. And if it wasn't the best, it was not good enough. And so God has taught me that actually, my best is good enough if I do my best for him. And if I give everything is good, you know, and it doesn't have to be perfect, because Jesus is the only one who's perfect. So I don't need Yeah, I don't. I don't need. Kimberly Hobbs Then I love I love how you're testifying. And one of those verses that you when you were sharing, and Hebrews, I wanted to just tagline on that. Ladies, when you are afraid when you are struggling, and you're so intense in the midst of that struggle, and fear takes over. God says don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you, he will neither fail you or abandon you. And just like you said, Donna, and your scripture, he said it three times that he's never going to leave you. So ladies, you are never alone through your struggle, you have to understand that and the way that you will is by getting in the Word of God and reading his truth in that word. Donna, one thing that you shared with me in one of our other conversations prior to today was you said that, you know, when people think that they're trying to help you by trying to force you to eat, you know, like, they're, they want to help, they just want to help, but they don't necessarily know what the best help is. Can you talk about some of your feelings during that time when people were saying, you know, trying to force food on you? And what were you going through then? Donna Clare What was happening was that what are you doing, you shouldn't be eating this is I've told you, it's better not to eat. Otherwise, you've got consequences that you'll have to pay. So I just I felt I felt disgusting. I felt like they were trying to hurt me in a way because they were taking the control away from me. So I felt like I felt like in despair like you, you don't understand what's going on. In my mind. You can't hear what's going on in my mind. If I if I eat, I'm gonna have to punish myself later. That's basically what was going to happen. So it was just a complete despair. It was complete. I was like, screaming inside. But for me, because I was before I was a Christian. I was quite shy and timid as well. So I wouldn't really speak up for myself in certain situations, I would just accept what was going on and be quiet because I felt that was better because if I spoke I didn't feel like my words. Were good enough. You know, I mean, so I so I just I just accepted, but I was screaming inside I tried to run away. And I couldn't do that. So the only way you think I could do was like, go off and make myself sick. Oh, like I probably wouldn't. I think I would have hurt myself later on. Like, because I had all the feelings inside. Like, I was angry because they were taking control away from me. I felt hurt because they didn't understand me. It was just really emphasizing that actually. Nobody gets me nobody understands me. I am on my own. I'm all alone, and no one's gonna help me. But that's what I was feeling. Right. Kimberly Hobbs So those that are listening may you know that because they're they're feeling sympathetic right now. And of course, you know those that loved you, Donna, they just wanted to get you to eat because they they felt you needed that nutrition that would help you that you know, but they weren't being sensitive to what you were going through. But the Bible just tells us, you know what we need to do. When we sense there's a problem. You know, the apostle Paul says, I urge you, first of all, to pray, to pray for all people, and to ask God to help them and intercede on their behalf and give thanks for them. The power of prayer is huge. And so when we see these issues, yes, you know, we need to be aware of them. And we need to know that there are places to go for help. But start praying, asking God for wisdom to point them in the right direction for help. Don't necessarily try to take the bull by the horns and do it yourself, you know, do what God tells us to do, do our part and pray for that person, and start looking for places that they can get help. Donna Clare Definitely power of prayer. People were praying for me even I didn't know at the time because I've just become a Christian, but people were praying for me. So yeah, it's something I just want to say as well. an eating disorder is not about food. That's a symptom. There's lots of root issues and causes why someone has an eating disorder. So trying to make the me interested, always eat that you only have to wait. And that's fine, because that's not the main issue. Really, there's other underlying issues that may be going on for you. Just to get them help and pray what they need, and you can't help someone with an eating disorder until they accept that they need help themselves as well. So that's where you need to pray. Because when you pray, finally, they will see that and God will help them to see that. That's right. Kimberly Hobbs That's right. And if you are one that is struggling in this area, it is so important to stay in the presence of God because He tells us in His Word, he's never going to leave you or forsake you. We share those Scriptures with you. But he says that, remember, I will be your God throughout your lifetime. He's, he's there for you all the time. You want to keep him in your presence. You want to talk to him. And don't ever question His promises to you. Because God's ways are perfect. All the Lord's promises are true. And he is a shield for all who looked to him for protection. So when you are afraid, you look to the Lord for your protection and know that he's there searching the scriptures. Ask him for scriptures that's going to help you right just like you did, Donna, he gave you tremendous scriptures that you can, that you can rely on the Word of God is alive and powerful. It's sharper than any two edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit between joint and Morrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and dreams. That's Hebrews 412. The word of God is powerful ladies, it is so important. And I know that Donna through talking with her, she has relied on so many scriptures. And can you share your very special verse with us the one that you relied on most through your struggles? Donna? Donna Clare I think well what I shared earlier, Hebrews 13, verse five is one. But then the other one is two Timothy one, verse seven, For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. And that was another one that was given to me. And I was like, Yes, God didn't give me a spirit of prayer. I can do this. Be confident in the Lord. Kimberly Hobbs Amen. So ladies, God knows your name. He's never gonna abandon those who search for him. And he understands your pain. So just as Donna has expressed a desire to come on and share her story and bring it out in the open, a revelation 1211 says that they have defeated him, defeated him which is the enemy by the blood of the Lamb, and the word of their testimony. And so Donna is here to testify of what the Lord has done in her life and know that the enemy is defeated. He sent back to the pit of hell where he belongs. And she can share this and declare this by the word of her testimony and we are so grateful that you have decided to come on share today about your testimony Donna which is fabulous and God is using you exceedingly abundantly beyond And I know and what you're doing right now in you're acting, and you're writing, and you're performing. And I know you're doing some videos on, on Facebook. And you can find Donna and Donna Claire. And that's clear C L A. R E, and she talks about this on her Facebook page, she's creating awareness, and she's pushing people to the Lord Jesus Christ, you know, because that is where our true help is going to come from. And Don, I know you wanted to leave the ladies, just with that just shot in the arm, that encouragement of what they can do, you know? So what is that that one, as we close up here that one? Helpful, you know, leave them with this memory is going to be Donna Clare That you're fearfully and wonderfully made. You're not a mistake, you were fashioned by God just to be who you are. So embrace who you are, love yourself for who God has made you. And know that he doesn't make mistakes that he's fashioned you perfectly of how he wanted to make you. So love yourself and know that you are not wrong, that you are right, and just embrace who you are, and go and glorify God and be who was created because Kimberly Hobbs That's beautiful. Amen. And you are doing just that. And we are just so proud of you. We are so thankful that we have done a Claire's in this world that could share openly sometimes it's difficult, you know, to be transparent about the things that you deal with in your life. But there's others out there that will relate that well know that you know, wow, somebody else is going through something I'm going through or has been through something I've been through, and how important it is to verbalize God tells us to do that. You know that we defeat the enemy, by the blood of the lamb which Donna has accepted Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior. Amen. And by the word of her testimony, she is sharing loud and clear that it wasn't anything of her control that allowed her to get better. It was releasing and surrendering all to Jesus. And by doing that, and allowing him to come in, through all the ways that God will come to your rescue if we allow him if we allow him entrance, he comes in. So I am just feeling that at this moment that if there is anybody out there that's listening, that doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus, Donna and I, we just encourage you to surrender it all to him. Give your your hearts give your pain, give it all to Jesus. And the way you can ask Him into your heart is through confessing with your mouth that says, confession is made unto salvation. So if you confess the Lord Jesus and believe in his heart, your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. So I'd like to just pray really quick. And if you would like to pray along with Donna and I, and accept Jesus into your heart, that would be wonderful. That's where it starts. And then you're gonna just start reading the Word of God because there is power, transforming power in the Word. So let's pray. Ladies, Dear Lord Jesus, I know that I'm a sinner. And I know that there is no other way to heaven, but by the blood of Jesus that was shed on the cross for my sins. Lord, I believe that I can't do anything by my own power God, but it's going to be by the power of the blood of the lamb that saves my soul. So right now, I confess my sins to you, Lord Jesus, and I know I'm not perfect and I know I fall short. Please, God, forgive my sins, cleanse me from all of my unrighteous behavior, Lord, come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. I trust you, God, I release all other control over my life. Any chains that have held me down God, anything that has bound me, I release it all by the blood of Jesus Christ who died for my sins. Please come into my heart. Please be my Lord and Savior. Please show me scriptures God that will help me that will put me on the right path to follow you and surrender my life. Thank you, Lord Jesus. I trust in you right now with all my heart in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Amen. If you have prayed that prayer ladies along with us for the first time, we want to hear from you too. We want to encourage you and I know Donna is available her. Her Facebook page is Donna Claire CLA R E. Or you can go to our website, women world leaders.com. We have areas there where you can pray, submit a prayer request, and we'll pray with you. We have all kinds of helpful tools at women world leaders where we would love to share them with you. One of them is courageous steps of faith. Ladies, this book is phenomenal. It is so many women that have taken those courageous steps of faith, to walk away from something like addiction or unforgiveness or there's so many things in this book, and they have walked toward the Lord Jesus Christ by those courageous steps of faith similar to Diana's story. And so ladies, you can get this courageous steps of faith on our women world leaders website or on Amazon. It's available Barnes and Noble. Another tool that we have to encourage you, strengthen you and your walk is voice of truth magazine, ladies, it's a free magazine that comes out every other month. It's amazing what God is doing. Women are sharing their stories, women are encouraging you and empowering you to walk in the name of Jesus, walk with us ladies, if you want your free copy of voice of truth magazine, go to info at women world leaders info at women world leaders.com And leave us your name, your address and your email address because we send it out digitally. And we send it out printed copy in the United States. So if you're outside the US, it's going to be digital only. So be sure to leave us your email info at women world leaders.com. And ladies take advantage please have the the tools that we have at women world leaders visit our website women world leaders.com And just skim through that and see all that's available to you know that we have podcasts Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. And you can get those access them by women world leaders podcast, women world leaders podcast. So Donna, thank you so much honey for sharing, saying hello to the ladies and sharing your story. Ladies, we have to close right now. So from his heart to yours. We are women world leaders. All content is copyrighted and cannot be used without expressed written consent. God bless you all and have a wonderful day.

"You Are Light"

Vitamin D with Dawn Dai

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2022 1:46

Today's dose of "Vitamin D" is dedicated to the declaration "I am light." Now we're going to look at this in both ways. I am light as far as I want you to shine. Be that light. Be that inspiration that you can be for others and for yourself. And then also, I want it to be a reminder that you don't need to carry the burdens of stress of things that are hindering you from moving forward. It made me think of this track by India.Arie, entitled "I Am Light" and in it she says, "I am light. I am not the things my family did. I am not the voices in my head. I am not the pieces of the brokenness inside. I am light." That's the same for you. Let it go. If it doesn't serve you, it doesn't deserve you. Remember, everything and everyone cannot go with you. India continues, "I am light. I am not the mistakes that I have made or any other things that have caused me pain. I am not the pieces of the dream I left behind. I am light." Hey, worry is a negative form of worship. Make a decision. Let it go and allow yourself to flow. Declare "I am light." That's it for your dose of "Vitamin D." Be sure to follow us on all social media @VitaminDDawnDai and until next time, always remember, "you are your greatest asset."See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

vitamin d arie voices in my head i am light

The Art of Being (w/ Joe Hudson)

Noah Kagan Presents

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 37:36

Joe Hudson is a host on one of my favorite podcasts - Art of Accomplishment (my 2nd fav after this show!). When I was chatting with Joe in this episode, I talked about my anxiety of boredom, my life of “should”, and these crazy critical voices in my head. Joe is an amazing person to talk to about these topics, and he has a great laugh. Definitely check out Joe's podcast and his Connection Course at ArtofAccomplishment.com. Full show notes: https://okdork.com/podcast/258 Get the BEST daily deals on software at: https://appsumo.com/noah

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411 - The Voices In My Head

Believe You Me with Michael Bisping

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2022 68:55

Former UFC middleweight champion Michael Bisping is joined by producer Mike Harrington to talk Khamzat Chimaev being booked to fight Nate Diaz at UFC 279 in Vegas, TJ Dillishaw getting booked to fight Aljamain Sterling for the bantamweight title at UFC 280 in addition to Petr Yan vs Sean O'Malley, Beneil Dariush vs Mateusz Gamrot and more plus a full rundown of UFC London's main card, Paddy Pimblett vs Jordan Leavitt heating up, Bisping getting booked to host a press conference for UFC 280 and so much moreThis episode was recorded on 7.21.22Support Our SponsorsTrue Bill - https://www.truebill.com/believe - Click the link to save thousands over the course of the year!Ip Vanish - https://www.ipvanish.com/believe - Follow the link to protect your internet privacy for as low as $3.49 per month!Believe You Me is available for early pre release on GaS Digital Network every Monday. Sign-up with code BYM to get access to the archives, bonus content and more! https://bit.ly/2YXEoZH"Free Cain" Shirts Herehttps://derekbrunson.com/collections/mensFollow the show on social media:Twitter: https://twitter.com/BYMPodSubscribe on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3drq6psFollow the hosts on social:Michael Bisping Twitter https://twitter.com/bispingMichael Bisping Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mikebisping/Michael Bisping YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDrG2_1TcVkXKXXsD6KjwigWebsite https://gasdigitalnetwork.com/gdn-show-channels/believe-you-me/Anthony Smith Twitter: https://twitter.com/lionheartasmithAnthony Smith Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lionheartasmith/Mike's debut book "Quitters Never Win" is available wherever books are sold, click here to get a copy! https://bit.ly/2V9ZqDkFollow the team on social:Brian MacKay Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bmackayisrightBrian MacKay Twitter: https://twitter.com/bmackayisrightMike Harrington Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheMHarringtonMike Harrington Instagram https://www.instagram.com/themharringtonMike Harrington Twitch https://www.twitch.tv/themharringtonBelieve You Me is a twice weekly podcast covering MMA news in a comedy podcast format hosted by former UFC Middleweight Champion Michael Bisping.Michael Bisping is a Former UFC Middleweight Champion. He transitioned to commentary in his post fight career and regularly calls the biggest fights. In addition to analyst work Michael has been cast in shows on Netflix, CBS and Showtime and has appeared in movies such as XXX: Return of Xander Cage, Den Of Thieves and Triple Threat. His next project slated for release is Warrior on Netflix in October, his self titled documentary "Bisping" is out now and just made #1 on the US and UK charts.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode 476 - Lesli Hudson-Reynolds

Voices In My Head (The Official Podcast of Rick Lee James)

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2022 40:06

Voices In My Head (the Rick Lee James Podcast) Episode 476 - Lesli Hudson-Reynolds Lesli Hudson-Reynolds serves as Director of Donor Relations, as well as resident Gender Identity Expert for Posture Shift, a leading training and consulting resource for church and ministry leaders on LGBT+ inclusion and care. Lesli also assists the Culture Shift's president, Bill Henson, in managing Guiding Families Direct Care for Transgender young people and their families. Prior to joining the Posture Shift team, Lesli spent 15 years touring the US and Europe as Production Stage Manager for numerous Broadway musicals, ballets and plays. They recently began pursuing their MDiv in Theology and Biblical Studies. Lesli lives in Tennessee and they are Huge fan of the New England. The pronouns we will be using for Lesli today will be they and them. Web Site: https://postureshift.com/team/ ----more---- Below are some trusted organizations that you can partner with to meet needs of refugees from Ukraine and around the world. Fred Heumann's Article in Christianity Today: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2022/february-web-only/ukrainian-christians-church-worship-songs-war-and-peace.html Serve Ukraine Web Link: https://actintl.givingfuel.com/serveukraine Nazarene Compassion FB: https://www.facebook.com/nazcompassion Caritas does great work in Crisis: https://www.caritas.org/2022/02/carit... Mercy Corps is fantastic: https://www.mercycorps.org/blog/human... A local Ukrainian non profit that has been serving traumatized children for years: https://voices.org.ua/en/ Alliance for a New Immigration Consensus Tell your Senators you support meaningful bipartisan immigration reform Urge President Biden Not to Leave Behind Persecuted Afghans Project Alpha Afghan Advocacy Resources Protecting Ukrainian Refugees Rick Lee James Official Web Site https://www.RickLeeJames.com Shine A Light In The Darkness - The Latest Single From Rick Lee James Get The Single: https://rickleejames.hearnow.com/shine-a-light-in-the-darkness Music Video: Rick Lee James Playlist on Spotify: https://t.co/S7nCRl0xqa

Episode 476 - Lesli Hudson-Reynolds

Rick Lee James Podcast Network

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2022 40:06

Voices In My Head (the Rick Lee James Podcast)Episode 476 - Lesli Hudson-ReynoldsLesli Hudson-Reynolds serves as Director of Donor Relations, as well as resident Gender Identity Expert for Posture Shift, a leading training and consulting resource for church and ministry leaders on LGBT+ inclusion and care. Lesli also assists the Culture Shift's president, Bill Henson, in managing Guiding Families Direct Care for Transgender young people and their families. Prior to joining the Posture Shift team, Lesli spent 15 years touring the US and Europe as Production Stage Manager for numerous Broadway musicals, ballets and plays. They recently began pursuing their MDiv in Theology and Biblical Studies. Lesli lives in Tennessee and they are Huge fan of the New England. The pronouns we will be using for Lesli today will be they and them.Web Site:https://postureshift.com/team/----more----Below are some trusted organizations that you can partner with to meet needs of refugees from Ukraine and around the world.Fred Heumann's Article in Christianity Today: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2022/february-web-only/ukrainian-christians-church-worship-songs-war-and-peace.htmlServe Ukraine Web Link: https://actintl.givingfuel.com/serveukraineNazarene Compassion FB: https://www.facebook.com/nazcompassionCaritas does great work in Crisis: https://www.caritas.org/2022/02/carit...Mercy Corps is fantastic: https://www.mercycorps.org/blog/human...A local Ukrainian non profit that has been serving traumatized children for years: https://voices.org.ua/en/Alliance for a New Immigration ConsensusTell your Senators you support meaningful bipartisan immigration reform Urge President Biden Not to Leave Behind Persecuted Afghans Project Alpha Afghan Advocacy Rsurces Protecting Ukrainian Reuees Rick Lee James Official Web Sitehttps://www.RickLeeJames.comShine A Light In The Darkness - The Latest Single From Rick Lee James Get The Single: https://rickleejames.hearnow.com/shine-a-light-in-the-darknessMusic Video:Rick Lee James Playlist on Spotify:https://t.co/S7nCRl0xqa This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rickleejames.substack.com/subscribe

Falling In Reverse // Voices In My Head— artist review

RockWire Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022 34:30

We Talk Falling in Reverse's new single and our favorite tracks they have produced.

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Finding What's Important with Shivali Beakta

Fill To Capacity (Crazy good stories & timely topics)

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2022 45:24

In this episode Shivali candidly talks about navigating our way through uncertainty by creating emotional space that is responsive and not reactive. How we celebrate the full spectrum of our identity; from simple joys, foibles to sitting with discomfort is “where we can find the pull, the momentum to take us forward in life.” Shivali Beakta is a management consultant, life coach and hosts the podcast, Unbox Yourself. She lives in New York City. QUOTE HIGHLIGHTS SHIVALI: “As kids, we're socialized into the world for a good reason, we're taught what's right... wrong. What's good. What's bad just to keep us safe. . but I think ...that we get to a point in life, maybe in our late teens, early twenties, where it starts to restrict... how we want to show up in the world. And so we have to unlearn certain behaviors, unlearn a way of thinking to then become whoever we're supposed to become.” SHIVALI: "...you're in uncharted territory...You don't know if you have it in you to navigate your way through that. But surprisingly, we all do...We may struggle through it, but we'll find a way to navigate. And I think that the idea of the whole unraveling...that moment of something happens, something breaks down and you feel this need to find a way back to yourself..." SHIVALI: “I see... in my mind... a huge boardroom. There's a table, multiple chairs. And I'm the chairman of the board and all the voices in my head are my board of directors. ... Everybody has a seat at the table and... for a very long time, I didn't allow certain emotions, certain identities in the room, especially...the Shivali, who's sad, the Shivali who feels weak. Yeah- Not allowed ....but now everybody has a seat at the table, which means they can say whatever they want, but I get to make the decision.” PAT: "... the word “uncertainty,” ... I've always thought of it as tap dancing on quicksand... if you stand there, you're gonna sink....But the idea that uncertainty is not... something we should dread ... Once we figure that out, it opens that beautiful gray area of contradiction and change. And it just seems to allow some breathing space for discovery." LINKS https://www.shivalibeakta.com/ https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/unbox-yourself/id1608846133 Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

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The Voices In My Head

The Guest List with Steve Guest

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2022 11:27

There I said it – anyone else the same? Do you have voices in your heard? No, Im not crazy…… I am referring more to the idea of the Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters… What's holding you back? Are you aware of your own inner chimp?. Have a listen to this weeks solo episode and let me know what you think If you are still here, then you are clearly seeking more from your journey through life You already know you have greater potential and a much bigger calling & simply need to spend as much of your time around the right people – you know, those individuals that motivate, inspire, empower and challenge…. That is why this podcast was created. Come and join us Top Biller – The Life of a Recruiter Book Links PAPERBACK COPY https://expertrecruiter.kartra.com/page/sRH4 DIGITAL COPY https://expertrecruiter.kartra.com/page/lQT14 This podcast episode is sponsored by Vincere. Vincere is the Recruitment Operating System. The all-in-one #RecOS purpose-built for recruitment & staffing agencies for the entire Front, Middle & Back office operations.

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2017-11-17 Carole Baskin's Diary

Carole Baskins Diary

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2022 2:07

TWO days off!!! What will I do with myself? On our first few anniversaries, Howie and I would drive to Anna Marie Island, where we were married and spend a couple days. Then we went to Amelia Island and in recent years it's been St. Pete Beach, Treasure Island and this year we are going to Clearwater Beach. We can almost never go on our actual anniversary due to sanctuary functions, but it's usually within a month of it. It's a couple days of relaxing. For Howie that means reading. For me that usually means a lot of beach walking and listening to podcasts. This year I may totally unplug and listen to harps or the voices in my head. The photo above was snapped by Sharon Henry at our Volunteer Appreciation Party last Sunday. The caption was by, the Kaption King himself, Howie. I'm feeling more pent up angst than ever because I've been told by the Special Agent at USFWS that my life is in imminent danger so I shouldn't ride my bike back and forth to work. Yesterday Howie called them to ask, if they know who it is. They know the person is in Oklahoma, and they have someone watching them, so then why wouldn't they be able to tell us if the person left Oklahoma? They said they could and while they wouldn't give the “all clear” for me to go back to biking, it gives me enough assurance that I plan to when we get back from the beach. The Special Agent said he believed they were within 24 hours of making an arrest. He said they believe Jeff Lowe knows about it, but that he can't be arrested for merely not reporting a crime. I was really hoping this murder for hire plot would nail them both since not much will change if Joe's in jail and Jeff's in charge. Hi, I'm Carole Baskin and I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. These are my views and opinions. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/ I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile! Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion. Closing graphic with permission from https://youtu.be/F_AtgWMfwrk

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S1E3: Voices In My Head

Family Drama

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2022 24:21

Kathy reveals how she learned to cope with trauma.If you have a story YOU want to share, please visit our website at www.familydramapodcast.comConnect with us on FB and IG @ familydramapodIf you love what you hear, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss an episode and please give us your feedback by leaving us a review.A GINX Media production

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I moved back to America... and its a MESS

Blunt Talk with Gabriel Zamora

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2022 97:35

Welcome to the first Episode of GABRIEL's PODCAST!!! As some of yall may know i had a podcast named Blunt Talk but it was audio only and it was clearly not brand friendly lol. In the process of wanting to create a video format for the podcast, i changed the name as well. Its still the same structure of me having open and honest conversations with my friends, followers or by myself but now i get to have the conversations LIVE with yall. I talk about life, mental health, makeup, pop culture, social media, politics and current events. As an openly gay first generation Mexican American who has sparked some crazy online conversations over the years, i feel very confident in stating MY TRUTH and being open to any thoughts or opinions. Whether it be with the voices in my head, my friends or with my followers LIVE, I hope you enjoy my conversations

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Episode #55: Solo Dolo: Memoir Breakdown + Harassment At The Department Of Veteran's Affairs

Sex, Drugs, and Jesus

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2022 100:56

INTRODUCTION: This is episode is my first Solo Dolo - which means it's just me baby! You get to have me all to yourself as I grant you an in-depth look into the creation of my memoir and an overview of what each section means. INCLUDED IN THIS EPISODE (But not limited to): · A Comprehensive Look Into My Memoir· Insight Into The Creation Process· A Breakdown Of What The Cover Means· Insight Into Each Chapter· My Case Against The Department Of Veterans' Affairs For Harassment· My Hopes For This Project· My Hopes For You CONNECT WITH DE'VANNON: Website: https://www.SexDrugsAndJesus.comYouTube: https://bit.ly/3daTqCMFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexdrugsandjesuspodcast/Twitter: https://twitter.com/TabooTopixPinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/SexDrugsAndJesus/_saved/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/devannonEmail: DeVannon@SexDrugsAndJesus.com DE'VANNON'S RECOMMENDATIONS: · Pray Away Documentary (NETFLIX)o https://www.netflix.com/title/81040370o TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk_CqGVfxEs · Hillsong: A Megachurch Exposed (Documentary)o https://press.discoveryplus.com/lifestyle/discovery-announces-key-participants-featured-in-upcoming-expose-of-the-hillsong-church-controversy-hillsong-a-megachurch-exposed/ · Leaving Hillsong Podcast With Tanya Levino https://leavinghillsong.podbean.com · Upwork: https://www.upwork.com· FreeUp: https://freeup.net VETERAN'S SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS · Disabled American Veterans (DAV): https://www.dav.org· American Legion: https://www.legion.org INTERESTED IN PODCASTING OR BEING A GUEST?: · PodMatch is awesome! This application streamlines the process of finding guests for your show and also helps you find shows to be a guest on. The PodMatch Community is a part of this and that is where you can ask questions and get help from an entire network of people so that you save both money and time on your podcasting journey.https://podmatch.com/signup/devannon TRANSCRIPT: [00:00:00]You're listening to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast, where we discuss whatever the fuck we want to! And yes, we can put sex and drugs and Jesus all in the same bed and still be all right at the end of the day. My name is De'Vannon and I'll be interviewing guests from every corner of this world as we dig into topics that are too risqué for the morning show, as we strive to help you understand what's really going on in your life.There is nothing off the table and we've got a lot to talk about. So let's dive right into this episode.De'Vannon: Hey, all my beautiful souls out there. Welcome back to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast. Again, one more week and happy pride month to everyone. Maybe whom the Lord sets free is free. Indeed. And I want to let each and every last one of you know, you are.You are truly free and give a fuck what anybody tells you. So let's go ahead and be a lovely self. Now today's episode is just going to be me this time. I'm going to be talking about my [00:01:00] book, which I recently released sex drugs and Jesus, which is my memoir. And I wanted to go through it and really give, given, express my heart about the different chapters while I call them what I called them. And, and really just lay it out in a very meaningful way.So you pick up on the spirit that went into this project, learning why I did it, what I hope the world gets out of it I hope you enjoy this episode. Hello? Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the sex drugs and Jesus podcast. I'm so happy to have you again with me this week. It's just me by myself this time. Usually I have all my homeys or my Ronnie's with me on the show, but today you have to have me all to yourself. I know you've always wanted that. So today you get to have it I'm crying.So today I'm going to take a little bit of time and talk to you about my book, sex, drugs, and Jesus, a memoir of self-destruction and resurrection. [00:02:00] And this is going to run through why I wrote it a little bit about the process, go through the chapters and everything like that. And I think it'll be really cute.I hope you think so, too. So to start off, let's talk about the cover. I like to be super meaningful in a strategic and intentional with everything that I do this cover was put together by my homeboy, Chris and con's designs over in Greece. And I met him through 99 designs.com, which is an excellent company to work with right website to go for all your design needs.So on the cover of the book from the top to the bottom, we have, of course, my name, the van and Hubert. You have a black bird with these mysterious blue eyes, holding a syringe with blood in it. And the blood is dripping out of the syringe onto the skull, which I'm going to talk about next. But this blood for me represents death.The syringe represents how wild my life gotten a [00:03:00] massive amount of narcotics. I used to inject every day. And then the two. You know, work in tandem with each other because you know, the drug life, you know, the it's very, very dangerous. And a lot of times it does lead to death and everything. The, the bird also represents the darkness of the times that I went through when I was homeless and everything like that.And just the general black hole that I fell into during the darkest time of my life, which is reflected within this book that we're keeping it lower. We're taking it lower. We've got the skull. The skull is me that Dan in his, in his head represents the headache. Everything that I went through gave me.There is a rainbow colored cross in the [00:04:00] middle of the skull. Now this represents the conflict in between being a non-straight and the problems that the church tries to throw at us for being non-straight. And in particular, in my own case, you know, for being dismissed from ministry at Lakewood church for not being straight, we work our way down.We see a little weed leaf over the left eye, the eyes contain jail bars, reflecting all the times that I got locked up while I lived in Houston, Texas, and then the nose instead of the nose, we put various pills there as he used to sell a hell of a lot of pills too. And it represents the drug. Behind the skull, we see gears in the farm background was represents how my mind was reeling and just working and going nonstop and how my head was just spinning out of fucking [00:05:00] control.We see music notes also floating behind the skull, which represents my musical inclination and how I can write music, read sheet music, and how I've been in choirs and stuff like that all throughout my life. And then there's a haze of smoke. Also enveloping the background of the skull, which represents confusion.It represents all the smoke from all the dope that I used to smoke also. And then below that we simply have the title of the book, sex, drugs, and Jesus, a memoir of sex self-destruction and resurrection. And so that's pretty much sums up the cover. So the process of writing this book started back in 2012 around about my probation had just been transferred from Houston to Baton [00:06:00] Rouge, and I knew that I had a story within BI.I had been thinking about writing books for years, but I never really had shit to say. And so once I hadn't done gone through all of this, I realized that it wasn't for me to path had been delivered from the strong problems that I had been delivered from. And then go have a quiet, peaceful, happy life and not say anything and not speak anything about the deliverance as the Lord had given me.And I, whether you believe in God or not this sort of story here, When someone comes from so many problems and they're able to overcome it, you can still appreciate the hustle and the struggle and the salvation of it all. And and I may mention God and Jesus and the holy ghost and all of them throughout this at some point.And I may not, but if I do, I'd just like to remind everyone that I don't think [00:07:00] Christianity is better than any other religion. And I don't think anybody is less than me if they don't worship God or anything like that. You know, I say it all the time. I love going and hanging out at the Buddhist temple and hanging around with other bald bitches like myself, because I feel seen and loved and all of that.And they make break vegetarian food too. So, so I started taking notes back, like in 2012 and. Ben was not put to paper to formulate an outline till around the time the Corona virus came to town. Now, during this time, my good friend to Theresa Hissong, who was also an author told me to to like D just get started on an outline.And I didn't, I didn't know where to start. I started taking notes and I had just a stack of tablets, just all kinds of thoughts that popped into my head as I was trying to get my life back together. And I was remembering everything that happened to me in Houston and when I was in the [00:08:00] air force and everywhere else that I had gone in my.In my life and I didn't know where to begin. And Theresa was just like, just store an outline, girl, just go from the beginning of your life up till now. And let me know when you've done that and we'll go from there. And so I did that. I started, I got the outline done and she was like, okay, now go back and take the main points and fill in paragraphs and everything like that.And so, and so I did that and After I got about 50,000 words in the book world, most books, they like, if you're going to write a book, you know, the powers that be like them to be like in the 50 to 60,000 word range minimum to you know, for it to be considered, you know, a serious literary work quote unquote.And so I did that. I wrote about 50, 60,000 words. Then I went about the business of finding me a ghost writer to help me because I realized that I was too emotional about everything that I was [00:09:00] writing. And I didn't want to sacrifice the quality of the story just so I can just do it all on my own at this point in my life.I know when I fucking need help. And so, and I'm not afraid to ask for it this time around. And so I went, you know, found somebody to. To take my thoughts and helped me to make sure that they're cohesive and it didn't come across as emotional spillage, you know, just word vomit all over the page. I needed to be sure we had some cohesive stories and concepts.No, he and I sat down for a couple of weeks and did interviews every day, you know, because he wanted his own perspective on everything that I had gone through, even though I had already written most of it out. And so I agreed to do that. That resulted in like a, about a 10,000 word outline and At the, at the end of the day, the book and ended up being over [00:10:00] 120,000 words.So strictly speaking it's about two books wrapped up in the one, but it ended up being very emotionally heavy for me to go through my story. And I did not want to go through this process twice and do like a part one and a part two I'm alive, and nobody got tired, but none of that, fuck it. I'm just going to give them these two books in one and be done with it.And plus, I don't like the TZ though, either I'm going to give you the damn thing or I'm not. And so, so it ended up being one book about 120,000 words of the paper copies, I think are about 330 pages. And something like that, the audio book, which I narrated myself as about 10 and a half hours. And so. So after me and the ghost rider got the outline together, like 10,000 words.I flew him down here to Louisiana because I wanted to take him to as many places as I [00:11:00]realistically could, considering we're in the middle of a pandemic and everything like that, and show him where certain things went down because I wanted this writing to be as real. And, and, and just that, wouldn't just bring you into the room, into the moment with me as much as I could.So we went around places in Baton Rouge, where I was born, where I went to high school. We, we went down to new Orleans, you know, where I went to my first gay bars and stuff like that when I was in high school. Oh God bless the gay bars in new Orleans, hallelujah, tabernacle and braise. We went over to Biloxi, Mississippi, where I was enlisted in the air force at Keesler air force base.We went over. The fucking goddamn Houston, Texas, you know where we're at, where I was a drug dealer where I got HIV, or I got hepatitis B or ended up homeless, you know, where all the shit, all the bad shit went down. Fuck. And so, and then while we were out on the road, we filmed a [00:12:00]docu-series, which is now live and fully edited and complete on my website to try to physically show you some of these places as well.And to bring it that much more to life. Now we were on the road and traveling about two or three weeks or something like that, trying to go to all of these cities and states. And so when that was done, you know, I sent him back home and everything like that. And then the, you know, the deep writing, you know, began, you know, the first draft was done and then all the editing and stuff like that commenced man is like, you can write a book in six months.You know, maybe two a year, and then you might be tempted to edit the motherfucker for another two or three years of no one would stop you. At some point along the way, me and this ghost rider had had a, I'll just say a parting of the ways of differences of perspectives. And so I've started the book by myself and then, so I ended it by myself.[00:13:00]It's not like I'm not a good writer. I just didn't necessarily trust that. I would tell my own story the best and be truly objective about it, which is why I hired a ghost writer in the first place. And so. Anyway. So we had our parting of the ways. And then I CA I, I finished the real rain, the, the arranging of the book of myself, and then I edited it and like a good 10 times or something like that.And then until I was finally done, and one thing about writing a book it's becomes like your baby, you just want to keep fucking with it than fucking with it and tweaking it, everything. And he's like in girl, at some point, you'd have to put the pin down, push a laptop back and just press publish. And You know, I say, just press publish.It's not that simple. When you're publishing a book in self publishing, like I did, it's many intricate things that you got to learn, how to do. You gotta get your own bar codes, technically speaking, Amazon, you know, in different places, we'll [00:14:00] provide you a barcode, but you can get your own barcode, your ISB in, I think that's like an international book standard number or some shit like that.What that stands for is that number that's under the book, the barcode. So you got to get that going. You gotta find some, you know, somebody to design you a book cover then you got to format it. So, you know, writing the book, one thing in my God, you know, Microsoft word is not necessarily the most book friendly app out there.I'm just going to say that now there are other options, better, better options available to you. So typing it up as one thing, formatting it so that it will be accepted wherever you're trying to submit it as another. So then I had to find a format or then the book cover is another thing, having it designed is one thing.Now you have to have it, you know, the margins and everything fitted and trim that to wherever it is, you're trying to publish the book, but there's another thing. And so then you got to determine [00:15:00] where you want to distributed and everything like that. I went with the hard cover and the paper back with Amazon, the electronic version I went through. I went through a company called draft the digital pretty gnarly. You can submit your electronic book to that one interface, draft the digital, and then they'll send it out to many different retailers and everything like that. A subsidiary of them is called find a way voices.And that's who I used to post my audio book, which would then send them. Sent it to like 44 different retailers. And so you know, so gone are the days where we have to, you know, go to each website and try to post, you know, our work and like Amazon, for instance, prints on demand. So gone are the days where the author has to buy a shitload of their own books and carry them around in a trunk and hope people will buy them, you know, thank God for the [00:16:00] digital era.It has made shit so much easier. And so if anybody ever has any questions about the book process, you can email me. I'm happy to make it a lot less of a headache for you than it was for me. And so, and so, you know, now it's published and everything like that, and I'm putting it those far and praying it, those wide, I'm praying that it helps someone, the whole point of writing all this, besides the fact that I felt like it was my obligation to do so is transparent.When I went through everything that I went through, sometimes I think even to this day, like I wonder if it would have turned out differently. Had I known someone who was going through or who had gone through the struggles that I was going through at the time, but me and my friends were too busy running around doing cocaine at the club, trying to be cute, say thin, trying to get down to a negative fucking two you know, and our waste and everything like that, you know, and trying to look like we had it [00:17:00] together and we're too perfect, but we were never discussing each other's weaknesses and problems and vulnerabilities and struggles.We have time for all that. We were constantly trying to Kiki and everything like that and turn the fuck up. And so when shit got bad and shit got real, I can feel like I can go to them. I wasn't raised, I was raised in the south in Louisiana. Down here, the grownups try to act like they have it all together and don't have any problems, or I didn't feel like I could go to my parents.They'd never shown me them going through a problem. So, so I said, fuck all this, this time, I'm going to be the transparent one. I'm going to put all my shit out there for the world to examine, pick at review, whatever the case may be. And the people who need help, we'll be able to know that at least this motherfucker right here has gone through what they've been through.And ain't ashamed to talk about it because bitch, it is what it is. I did what I did. I didn't said what the fuck I said, I have suffered from, I have suffered [00:18:00] from much of what I've done. And so, you know, so I hope, you know, I hope, you know, my willingness to bare my soul and embarrass all of my things that would make most people ashamed that embarrassed, you know, hopefully it helps you.It's still worth it to me. Doesn't bother me at all.And so, like I said, I like to be very strategic with everything. And so each of these chapter titles, you know, has a special meaning to me, you know, tell you what those are. There's 20 core chapters in this book, not including the prologue. There's an epilogue as a standalone story in the back, which is echo throughout the main text.But then we really, you know, present to you the whole reason why it was teased throughout the book. And it's called wisdom in Witchery that's the standalone story [00:19:00] at the back.So the prologue is called SWOT S w a T special weapons and tactics. Maybe we've seen the SWAT movie, the SWOT TV series, I believe there was a TV series and everything like that. So for those of you who may not know what a SWAT team. The, this is the special division of the police department that comes to your door.They don't knock on it. They take this, I guess, this Ram thing, whatever the fuck it is. And they just knock the bitch and you have to be a serious enough criminal, or they have to believe you're serious enough criminal to send the SWAT team to come and get yo ass. So I so this, this first, so this opening prologue here has to do with the way my big drug arrest went down.They sent the SWAT team in, [00:20:00] oh my God. It had to be at least 2047. But, you know, men armed with semiautomatic rifles, the Kevlar vests the face shields and got damn canine dogs running around knocking shit over helicopters, the whole nine, like I am, they were serving me up. Like I was Frank Lucas, John Gotti, you know, somebody like back, you know, it talks about that day, you know, how it went down and everything like that.And that time was pivotable pivotal because that drug raid after that is when I became homeless. You know, you kind of, can't go back to your apartment and live there after SWAT had to come get you, you then I was so ashamed and embarrassed and had so much other stuff going on. I, at that point I had lost the will to live and everything like that.And so I wanted to open the book with the, probably one of the most pivotal stories in the, in the whole book. And that has happened in my life. [00:21:00] The book is divided into five parts. Part one covers my life from 1982 to the year 2000. It opens up with a dream that I had. There's two dreams in this book.This is the what two dedicated dream pages in this book. Other ones are mentioned throughout the texts. I'm a gift that dreamer, I started dreaming around the time. I was like maybe like five years old. So when I say a dreamer, that means what I see in at night, or whenever I fall asleep, if I doze off right now, I'm going to have a dream.You know, whatever it is that I dream will come true, or it could be something that's already happened or it could be something that's currently happening. Dreaming spiritually speaking is like is a form of prophecy and a true gift of prophecy. It's past, present and future. So when God grants you sight, God sees all that has been all.[00:22:00] It will be. And all that is now, the prophecy I'm talking about is true to, to form like how you read about in the Bible and stuff like that. Not what these motherfucking preachers be doing now. Every other word out of their mouth, they say, I prophesied this. I prophesied that. I'm not talking about just speaking positive things about what you want to happen.I'm talking about a divine word from God about what has been, what is, or what most surely will be. That's the sort of dreamer I am. And the only time in my life that I didn't dream was from the time that that I got. Kicked out of Lakewood church did the time about five or six years later that I began to reconcile with God that, that, that devastation and all that was going on in my life was the only thing that ever closed my dreams off to me.But other than that, I see baby. I see. [00:23:00] And so, so we opened up with a beautiful dream. I'm talking with evangelist Nelson, who was my spiritual counselor in life. And now that she's transitioned over as a spirit, she still guides me and speak with, speaks with me in spirit form. I know many of you have ancestors and elders who have gone before.And crossed on over and they still come back and visit you in dreams. Some of you are clairvoyant yourself and you can see them, you can talk to them. Some of you might be smelling their fragrance that they used to wear, or that dish that they used to cook, you know, and it brings you back into memory.Some of them, you know, that's that spirit of that, of that deceased person hanging around you and helping you and stuff like that. I don't like to refer to dead people as you know, like they used to exist cause they still exist. They're just no longer doing the things that pertain to this physical form where they haven't ceased to be.And that helps me to keep a strong connection with [00:24:00] those who I can't can no longer physically reach out and touch. The title of the first chapter is called Jim stone. I, my God, I love collecting crystals and gemstones. I'm a licensed massage therapist. I have used them in my practice. I started collecting them though, as since I was a child, they, there used to be a thing called the discovery channels store and used to go to the mall back.When people went to malls and go into the store, you can get all your telescopes, a little dinosaur, figurines, geos rocks, and everything like that. And I fell in love with those also whenever, when the, when the Lord first called me and appealed to me, to minister for him to, to, to, to be used with him. And I was very, very young.And in this dream, it was a golden cross made out of the finest periods of gold. And it was covered in every kind of color gemstone on the sides around the top, the body underneath the arms of [00:25:00]the cross and everything. And it was spinning around. And a circle and it came and stood before me and I got the sense that it was pleading and in, and from that moment, you know, I felt like I was marked and I felt like I was set on a certain trajectory.You know, that I, that wouldn't be fulfilled for many, many, many, many years to come. But I was changed in that moment, in that dream. And that was when the Lord officially called me. I was about maybe like five or six years old when I started dreaming, when I started seeing, and that was my calling. I encourage everyone.And I challenge everyone to question your spiritual leaders find out when they were called, when did God first speak to them? And in what way did he do it? God speaks to us in many ways. I'm not saying they had to have been called the way I was called, but you know, when you read through the Hebrew Bible, [00:26:00] You know, a lot of times there's a point where a person is not being used of God.And then there is a point where God crosses paths with them. Maybe he sent an angel, maybe he sent a prophet to maybe he appeared to them in a dream like he did with Solomon and Joseph and the patriarchs. You know how you know, question your spiritual leaders find out when them people recalled that not everybody who's running a church is truly called.And then everyone who calls themselves a preacher is really a preacher. Be careful about that. And so chapter one, you know, growing up in the hood, you know, I was raised in the hood. The neighborhood was so dangerous. My parents wouldn't allow me out the yard, crack houses everywhere I would come to learn later on, I was almost kidnapped as a child.It was a whole thing. Chapter two, it's called changes that talks about a lot of rapid changes that happened. You know, like when I was in school, You know, [00:27:00] moving around from house to house PA problems within the house paint problems between my parents that were going on and, you know, all kinds of drama and stuff like that, that really made for a very unstable childhood.And it wasn't until years later that I was older and I realized, you know, my grades didn't fall because, you know, I wasn't smart or necessarily wasn't grasping the subject material, but I very firmly and thoroughly understand now how an unstable household and an inconsistent child hood can make somebody do poorly in school.So so that's why chapter two was called changes. It just talks about the inconsistency of my childhood and how erratic it was. Then we go right into part two. We didn't want to spend a whole lot of time on the background. Although the background is plenty dramatic enough to keep your [00:28:00] attention.This is a fairly thick book, like I say, at 330 pages over 120,000 words, but I have found it to be a very quick read. And so so part two covers my life from, to the year 2000 to the year 2006. Chapter three is called basic training because we opened right up with me going to the Lackland air force base in San Antonio, Texas to join the United States air force.And, you know, we built over, you know, some of the, the, the crazy shit that happens when you get a whole bunch of men together, you know, trying to, to. To fight to get into the military and not, you know, get sent home or discharged before you have a chance to even make it out of training. Basic training was six and a half weeks at Lackland air force base, which is, which is in San Antonio.Texas was hot as hell, hot as Satan's ball's sack out there. My God, you never seen a [00:29:00] black man tan. Oh, I was so much darker than that. What I am now. Good. God almighty. You were talking about like 120 degree, like desert heat, unforgiven on forgiving, you know, basic training covers that people are very interested in behind the scenes, look at the military.And so I really wanted to give you that. And yes, there's a lot of gay shit that happens in the military. There's so many gay people in the military, but there always has been a bitch. There always will be. I just wish there had been more orgies or some shit like that. And so in basic training, That's where I met my best friend, Adam, who I'm still friends with to this day in, you know, we kind of go from there.Chapter four is called rank and file.And this covers when I get out of a training and now I'm in what they call the operational air force quote, unfucking quotes. And I get to Davis Monthan air force base in Tucson, Arizona. And this. [00:30:00] Fall in love with the desert. I had never been this far west before I was 17 when I went to the air force in, in, so I was just young spring chicken from the country.Green is Hale green, this fucking hell. You know, I've driven all the way this far out west the Tucson, nothing but light brown desert everywhere, cute little road runners. Cactus is like, you know, the prevalent Greenidge you know, depending on where you go in much of the city. And so surprisingly refreshed by how refined a desert landscape is.It's very minimalist compared to. You know, having a whole lot of foliage around, I love me a good desert landscape, a lot of rocks, either yard to maintain, you know, there's no grass, so, you know, no need to pay a gardener, you know, or anyone like that. And so in this chapter, [00:31:00] we also get into like the the gay bashing, the, the, you know, the, all the hate speech and things like that, that I received while I was in the air force for not being straight.And so I was fortunately able to make it out of there without a dishonorable discharge for not being straight. But, you know, so many of my fellow service members got bad conduct discharge, or other than honorable discharges, just because of their sexuality. Now, I am thankful that they have started to reverse those decisions for my fellow service members and upgrade their enlistment.Well, so you so many service members listening, you can call, reach out to the DAV, the disabled veterans of America probably the American Legion or some sort of veterans service organization. And talk to them about getting your enlistment upgraded if you got kicked out for not being [00:32:00]straightened. So for those of you who don't know, there's different, when you get discharged from the military, you're rated a certain way, honorable all the way down to like dishonorable you've got bad conduct, medical discharges, other than honorable, it matters about your benefits.If you have like say a bad conduct discharge, then you don't get like access to your education. Definitely not your housing. And just certain like your medical list, certain benefits that I still benefit from this day, having served in the military, but I have an honorable discharge, another veteran may not, you know, so like I was able to get my house without paying the down payment because of the VA.Well, a veteran with a bad conduct, discharge pin can take advantage of that. I'm able to go to the VA for health care. If they have a bad conduct discharge, I don't believe that they can take advantage of that. Now I do know that no matter what the discharge status is, you can [00:33:00] go, a veteran can go to the VA, the department of veterans affairs, the VA hospital, a medical clinic for mental health.No matter what you can go there for free mental health, but they may not see you for like general health care. We all know how much healthcare costs, you know, there's a big difference. If you can go to the VA for free healthcare, which is like what I get versus having to pay for it out of pocket. If you don't have an employer or even pay some other ridiculously high amounts of money, these employers be wanting you to pay as well.That's like life changing stuff, you know, and to have that taken from you, just because of your sexuality, wasn't right in the first damn place. But you know, at least, you know, at least that wrong is being made right now. But many of my fellow service members have died, you know, waiting for changes like this.and so the next chapter is chapter five and that's called into the Aurora sea. [00:34:00] Sothe title of this one reflects what I saw when I went to my first rave. So out there. In in Tucson, they would have what's called desert parties. And basically this would be like a big ass Reva. So we've got all the glow sticks. The Aurora sea is comprised of all the blow sticks and photon lights and shit like that, that people would dance around with.These will be considered at least some mine underground parties. So these, you know, it's like, like out in the woods, but the woods is the desert. So you're on a paved road and driving Southern, you're going to turn off onto like gravel road and then go back into like a wild cactus wilderness and find this party.Thousands of people, you know, big name DJs, which are on the circuit back then. Mixed mastermind, DJ, Irene, people like that. And so I had a lot of fucking fun out there in the desert [00:35:00] and I'll thought it was so damn fun. I would title the chapter after it, in this chapter, we get into my heavy volunteer.I'm big in the volunteer rhythm in public service, you know, there was, I wouldn't have gone in the fucking military if I didn't give a damn about public service. And we talk about some of the volunteer thing that I did and stuff like that. And like say choreographing, the girl's dance routine. I was asked by somebody to choreograph a dance routine because I had taken dance in high school.And also I was able to do that. It was great. And then in the chapter, I talk about how I immediately felt like, you know, ashamed for not being straight wondering what would be found out because here I am, this big gay choreograph or on stage, you know, performing a number with these kids on a military base, you know, very interesting the way that we were able to to bring out that contrast.And it was so when you're serving in the military back in those days during [00:36:00] Diana's, don't tell, and you're not straight. On the one hand, you're happy to be there. On the other hand, you're always wondering if you're going to do some shit that's going to get you found out. And so you have like a high level of paranoia and shadow hanging over you every day.And you know, there's no wonder why so many services, so many service members get, leave the military fucked up and would all kinds of mental health issues. And they know that shit. And that's why they that's why they, they allow you every service member, no matter the, the, the rating and the nature and the quality of the discharge to go to the VA for free mental health, because they know they fucked each and every last one of us up on some damn level,And then also in this chapter, we were talking about me losing my virginity and you know, beginning to get curious about sexual exploration and everything like that. I tell you it was a bitch to do being in the military during don't ask. Don't tell because I couldn't go get a [00:37:00] boyfriend. I couldn't really do anything to be consistent and stable.I knew I probably have to move be sent to a different base eventually. So I just turned into a how, yeah, I was a total slut, you know, it was what it was like I said, I did what it did.And so then the next chapter is called curiosity. And then the chapter curiosity covers montage. My brief stint in recruiter school, before I moved on over to California. You know, I talk about my job when I, when I get to Davis mountain air force base, I'm working on aircraft that runs its course, and I'm like, fuck, this, I'm gonna become a recruiter.So now it's time to head over to California. So in this chapter here I get into The more scandalous side, say of the military, you know, how has the military recruiter? They tried to get me to lie [00:38:00] to my recruits and shit like that. Not abso-fucking-lutely refuse to do it. I was not about to get my ass shot up and Southern California, you know, not knowing who knows who, because the air force wants me to lie to, to a person about how they're, you know, what their, what their job in the military has done a B.So like when you go to the military, you don't just go to go to war. Like you have to have. And occupation a nine to five job that you're going to do every day. Be that cook food in the cafeteria, chow hall, a mess hall, whatever the fuck you want to call it, be it be a recruiter, an aircraft mechanic, photographer, journalist, public relations.And I see a military base is set up to function all by itself without any need of the outside world. So any job you can imagine on the outside world exists in the military in some form or another calibrating instruments, flying planes, you know, there, you know, there's all [00:39:00] kinds of stuff that you can do, administration, HR type work in the military, you know?And so it's not cool, you know, for the air force to have total. Yeah, Jake wants to be a photographer, but we want him to be security forces and be the police anyway. So a lot of him about the photographer job and tell him that's not available and we're going to go ahead and put him in this security forces job.And we just want you to convince him to take it. You know, that's the kind of scandalous shit that they will do. I tell my supervisors to go fuck themselves. And so they didn't go over too well. And my God, I barely made it. So thinking of discharge ratings, I barely made it out of the air force with a honorable discharge.I got to what they call an article 15, which is a bad thing to get. Is that something that, okay, so there exists something called the uniform code of military justice that UCMJ and that damn evil [00:40:00]ass book. It's it's like the damn dark hold or some shit from the Avengers. It's just that fucking evil book that can ruin your life.And then any little damn thing you can do, they'll find a way to make it wrong and then they can try to find a way to throw you out. And so, so this chapter gets into the, into, into my fight against the military and and I call it curiosity because, well, I got curious about some things I, in this trap that I began to try to turn myself straight.You know, the church had told me I was going to burn up and go to hell for not being straight. And I got this idea in my head. Well, I can hang around with straight guys. I can get me a girlfriend and I can like pray the gay away. And so I tried to fast and pray and spread myself out before the Lord and okay.And I'm gonna put some some works [00:41:00] behind this faith. And so I'm gonna go get me some girls and go fuck me some pussy and everything like that and make myself straight. I even got penthouse and Playboy magazines and cut out all the naked women and everything like that. And it plastered the walls of this room that I was staying in with nothing but vagina.I suppose I was trying to brainwash myself, I guess I thought if I looked at all of these naked women, I'll get more into it and stuff like that, girl, I'm here. I'm here to tell you right now that shit don't work. I am one of the most determined people. I know when I get an idea in my head, I'm going to do that fucking shit.And I have called upon the Lord for many things in my life. He's given me and he's answered me. He's given me dreams, you know, that have come true. As I stated, he's even showing me things in my dreams about other people that I did not ask him. So what [00:42:00] you might ask meone time, I had a dreamabout somebody who had had, it was the guy wasn't the girl, like they, there was like some sort of abortion or something that had happened. The Lord had brought this up to me. And so I asked him about it. Now, look, the Lord didn't tell me it was right or wrong. But sometimes when we do things and it's bothering us, then the Lord will reveal it to somebody.So that he, so that the Lord can send you an answer of peace through that person, because the Lord doesn't want us racking our minds over stuff. And so when I told them about the dream and the, and the Hebrew Bible says the prophet that has a dream, let him tell the dream. Okay. And so I told this dream, and then he clammed up and he was like, you know, don't tell [00:43:00] anyone.I was like, okay. So this taught me a few things. I was like, okay. So the Lord was showing me stuff and other people's life up until this point, I had only seen things pertaining to me, or sometimes I would have dreams about hurricanes and things like that before they would happen, which, you know, affected other people, but nothing ever this person, all about someone else.But, you know, I must remind people there, anything you can hide from the Lord. You can see your thoughts, your feelings, you know, your emotions everywhere you go, everything, you say, everything, you do be it about someone else about yourself or whatever. You cannot hide from God. And so this person clammed up and, you know, in that moment, if I ever had any doubt, the way that they were like, don't tell anyone, you know, I know that what I had seen was true and it had happened and I know God very, very well and of all the bad and stupid shit that I have [00:44:00] done.God, always, Tim came to me with an answer, a peace via directly through my evangelists, Nelson, my pastor, God is not interested in beating up, beating us over the head or trying to force us to do right. Right. You know, even though he could force us, he doesn't want to, he wants us to make the decision ourselves and and he wants to stay in a peace.And so. The only thing that God would have, you know, had me tell him with some sort of answer of peace, you know, what had done happened and happens. So there was no sense in hanging around feeling guilty about it now. and so I'm saying all that to say, the Lord speaks to me heavily you know, in my dreams and stuff like that. But the Lord has never, ever once shown me in a dream that he would prefer me to have a different sexuality. And so if he, if he, if God's gonna give me dreams to other people, and he's given me more dreams than that over the years that have to do with other folks, you know, I go and talk to them about it and we [00:45:00] deal with it and we work out whatever the message is.You know, it as much as I prayed and facet and did all of this stuff. The only thing that I feel like God is telling me about this from this period of time, where I try to ungay myself is to not try to engage myself. I don't believe he wants me any other way. And so if he wanted to, he would have responded.He would have sent me a dream of something. But the only voices in my head that have ever said anything was wrong with my sexuality was other people, conservative people, people who feel like they have a mastery over the interpretation of the Bible, which nobody does. No, man does. You know, I wrote my book, sex, drugs, and Jesus.I wrote that book. I'm the only person who can say that they're an expert on this and knows what every word means. Indisputable. So I don't accept the concept of biblical experts and stuff like that. The Hebrew Bible is someone [00:46:00] it's not even a one book, but it's comprised of many different authors in many different books from many different years ago in, in different languages.And, and I don't, and I just don't accept anybody saying that, that they know exactly what the Bible says and their way of looking at it is the only way it should be looked at. And if you don't look at it their way, then you're going to die and go to hell. Those, all of those people can go and fuck themselves in the ass with a porcupine dildo with like lava on the end of it or some shit like that.And so now I'm still very much not straight. I feel like my sexuality has been kind of fluid over the years, but Dick is a beautiful thing. It really, really is a beautiful thing. So in this. So in this chapter, you know, I don't recommend for anybody to [00:47:00] fucking go to the military at 17. You just to underdeveloped, you got so much growing to do.And so this chapter is going through me, making mistakes. People do. When they're a kid, I was a child, you know, doing a grown man's job. I did it well, but feel it affected me heavily and still to this day, you know, the military was very traumatizing for me. And you know, in this chapter, we're going through my wardrobe changes, you know, I'm from the country.I don't know fashion. I got to learn fashion. Now I'm out here in California looking like animate Bullock from Bush, Tennessee. That's Tina Turner. For those of you who don't know who I'm referencing, you, haven't seen the movie what's love got to do with it. D rich bitch. That's a hell of a motherfucking movie.And so I had to learn how to dress out there in California. You know, everybody's so confident with themselves or at least they appear to be on the surface. And I really, really love that [00:48:00] at the very least the very beautiful state and people care about, you know, appearances. I don't feel like that has to be a bad thing.I don't, I am not on board with the way people will do in the south and go out with rollers in, they head than a bathrobe on to go down to the store and everything like that. Girl. Bye. And so you would never see no shit like that out in LA. And so I don't think it has to be, has to mean you're superficial because you care about how you look.I think you caring about how you present yourself, you know, is important to your own self-esteem and is important if you want people to take you seriously. And so I'm not saying change the gain acceptance, but if you can go out with rollers in your head, don't be surprised if people don't want to hang around you.That's what I'm saying. And so I have to learn, you know, how to dress, how to put clothes together and stuff like that. You know, by the time I left California, you [00:49:00] know, I was in cowboy boots, designer, jeans, you know, shopping at Nordstrom and shit like that, whether I could afford to, or not, because for fuck's sake, I was terrible with money.But you know, that's what that chapter is all about. Chapter seven, it's called. 'cause I was so fucking bad at it. I almost got kicked out of the military for writing bad checks that I didn't have enough money in the bank to cover. I didn't know that that could be a misdemeanor or felony, depending on the amount had no idea.I had no fucking idea. And so that's a whole run in with, with, with the police and everything like that. And so in this chapter, I also talk about my first exposure to Joel Osteen and Lakewood church and how it was so inspired by watching him on TV and how that church was one of the primary decisions I left California and moved to Houston, Texas in the first place.I should have stayed my ass in California, but [00:50:00] live and learn. Right. And so, and there's some more scandalous shit about the military and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The military is very scandalous. Look, if anybody's ever going to go to the military bitch, I'm gonna tell you right now, do you like a quick, like two and a half year enlistment, four year don't stay in there that damn long, because you don't have to stay in there.But for one term to have, like for your housing benefits, you can have a service disconnected pension that will pay you for the rest of your life. Just from serving that one enlistment, you don't have to stay in there 20 years to retire. It's stressful on your children. You know, if you have them moving around like that, and it's also stressful on you moving around like that.Now look, if you in a terrible, terrible situation, running from gangs or some crazy shit, the military might be better than, you know, if it's the lesser of two evils, then for fuck's [00:51:00] sake, pissed pick the military. What I'm saying is don't get in there and get so damn comfortable that you feel like you got to stay forever.Because you can benefit greatly from that one enlistment from the rest of your life, if you work it right. And while you're in there, they're going to pump you up and try to make it seem like you're everything. And you're so important, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, dish. They will kick you out in a moment's notice if they feel like you're not perfect enough.But that's the thing that I hate about the military is they, they, they, they tell us that we're better than civilians. We have to do everything a hundred percent, right. 99% is unacceptable. And then when we come out of the military, it's hard to adjust down. You know, you've told me for years that I'm better than everyone else in the world.Now I've got to learn to get along with everyone else in the world. That's just after my six year enlistment, imagine somebody after 20 people, it's hard to go into the military and come out with a fully sound mind. So I say, take what you can get and leave bitch.So then we get into [00:52:00] part three par three covers my life from the year 2006 to the year 2012.This, this is the second dream here. Elongated dream that I talk about this dream here speaks to the dark times that are to come in my feature though. I don't know how this is not the only dream God gave me about the dark times that were to come. This is one of the ones that that I wanted to mention though.But the spirit was speaking to me all throughout my life about the times that were going to come. I don't think there's anything that I could have done to avoid going through all the, all the trauma and everything like that. For what it did, they're refined to me and it's like, it's shaved off. It's like, it's like, it's shaved off things that I didn't need, like pride and ego arrogance conceitedness.And [00:53:00] over dependency on myself being overly self-sufficient. And what I mean by that is not enough true dependence on God. Okay. Yeah. I'm confident and competent and able to get up and go and do things, but I need to give him more credit. And I also had an over dependency on church at, on preachers and all worship leaders, people call themselves pastors and whatever.I put too much stock into them. And so I'm very, very thankful for the dark times that came because it took all of that out of me and whatever it was, however youthful. I thought I was the God with four. I lost everything. I'm way more useful to him now. After having lost everything for and losing everything physically.Well, shit, I lost my fucking mind too. You know, I gained so much more, you know, spiritually and internally thinking, speaking. So we get into that very, very dark [00:54:00] dream there, mid chapter eight, it's called welcome to Houston. I that's the best thing I could think, because you know, at this time I'm still optimistic about going to Houston.I'm thinking I've got this bright future ahead of me and everything like that. I didn't think you know, and I'm going to Houston, I'm going to join Lakewood church. I made it out of the military without a bad conduct discharge. And so let's go to the third, fourth, largest city with the largest church in America and let's just do great things.Shit.Trying to get a job after serving in the military. Try that depending on what your job was in the military may not necessarily transfer easily. It was so hard to get a job. I ended up working every fucking where walked off half the damn jobs that people pissed me off. I had anxiety and shit like that and mental health issues.I didn't know, coming out of the military too. So I had a very short fuse but it just talks about me getting settled into [00:55:00] Houston, getting settled into Lakewood and, you know, thinking that life's just going to be great. Chapter nine is called aspirations. This talks about me moving forward in the Lakewood, going higher and volunteering stuff like that.Still talking about me being bad with money. I'm still a hell still fucking around. One of my favorite stories from there is where I got the DJ for an hour for the KSBJ God listens radio station. They're in Houston, Texas. And so that was cool.Really, really cool to have my home playlist on the radio for an hour. That was that some shit that I would do again. And so, cause I love making music and playing music and stuff like that. This chapter gets into my, a short stint at the Houston graduate school of theology because I was gonna have this whole big idea.I was going to go to church and become a I don't know, I guess I wanted to become like a worship leader, maybe a slash [00:56:00] preacher worship leader. And I wasn't gonna go get me a degree in theology because like every fucking body who was on staff at a church had a degree in theology, but I'm so glad I left that bitch.I left because one of the professors told us that they like to control people in church. And I was just like, I don't want to control people. I don't know why you think it's okay to just say that. So casually. But I'm glad I didn't, I don't have a degree from a seminary. I took like five or six classes and then that was it.I mean, I'm happy for what I learned, but you know, my evangelists Nelson, the preachers and the true profits and prophetesses that I grew up around didn't have degrees when they preach, they just spoke from their lived experiences, what God, or whatever the holy ghost was telling them then. So there was no prerecorded message.Pre-written sermon to be reviewed by the board at church or whatever. However, the fuck these people do it. There wasn't no iPad [00:57:00] for them to preach from. There was nothing. They went up there just with a Bible in their hand and the word of God and their mouth period done, period, that sort of preaching feels more authentic to me because, you know, people can use word play.To hypnotize you and mesmerize you and stuff like that, especially they have enough time to write out the speech. There's no different than what a president does or what a CEO does. Everything is intentional. You know, I'm not really fond of the word of God being written by a human in an intentional way like that, because I don't know how much of that shit is divine.How much of it is just him. And please believe that when these preachers speak, not every fucking word, if any, that comes out of some of their miles is of God. But when these people here, you know, the people who raised me with preach, you know, they just got up there and rolled and them preachers could preach for hours, baby, trust me, [00:58:00] I hated sitting in church for fucking three hours, but, but as they would say, when the spirit was moving, they would let him move.and so I feel more like. Like justified to preach and speak the way that I do though. And I say, I'm a preacher, a preacher is anybody who speaks the word of God. Yeah. I am a licensed and ordained minister, but I only got that to, to like marry my friends and shit. If they ever came there became a day in time where they couldn't find someone to marry them because they're not straight.I don't believe in the need to go to school to learn how to preach. I don't believe the way how they do here in the south. People go and get what's called like missionary licenses, because the denomination wants them to be licensed to carry the word, I guess. Or maybe this means they pass some class, or course I'm like bitching that you called or you not, you know, I don't think the prophets of old Isaiah, [00:59:00] Jeremiah, the apostles, when the new Testament had licenses, I don't think they went to school to learn the Lord, called him and dealt with them, justified them and send them.I'm glad I have none of those licenses and certifications and things like that. And then that way, you know, my, my word to use authentic and it's true. And it's from my lived experiences because I can't speak nothing I haven't been through or nothing that hasn't been divinely shown to me. And I don't want it to be all like like how in school, how everything is.Structured and methodical. I just like the free flow and the spirit, yo. And so then the next chapter is called debtors and collectors. I very beautifully open up this chapter with one of the first songs that came to me in a dream. So I hear a lot of music in my sleep and and so I'd get up and I go about the business of writing it out.And so I don't [01:00:00] know how these songs would ever be used. One day. I've been collecting them for many, many years. And and so I opened this chapter, chapter 10 debtors and Collette collectors with the song that I wrote, which is called worship while I live. If you get the audio book, you can hear me sing it.And and I call this chapter better than collectors because. Ciao. This is when my bad spending came to a head. So like I said, it's hard to get a job when you get out of the military. I got a job, but it was paying me far less than what I made in the military. And I was all these loans and shit. And I looked up online where you can do bankruptcy.So yes, I filed for bankruptcy, chapter 13, I think, whatever one that just wiped all the shit away, but it was a ding on my credit for like a decade after that. So yeah, I couldn't fast on filed for bankruptcy cause the bitch had bad spending habits. And so I did what [01:01:00] I did. but Hey, we can always get better, you know, about our spending and stuff like that.I talk in this chapter about the terrible job experience that I had working at the call center at CenterPoint energy, you know, in Houston, Texas fucking hurricane. I, you know, if you've never been through a hurricane, pray that you done. This is just pray that you don't pray that you down, but I go over the whole hurricane height experience and everything like that.And I don't know why the fuck they would name, you know, I'm thinking about I Turner, you know, I turned her, we'll be in the what's love, got to do with it, a movie. If you want to watch that, he's the man who physically abused Tina Turner and everything like that. I'm all like, I wish some of these damn people would think before they name some of these hurricanes, you know, they just give them some of the most like notorious names, like, fuck, what are they going to do next?Hurricane Satan? Or some shit like, please don't[01:02:00]and then let's see in chapter 11, it's called de-humanized. And so the core of this chapter here is me being fired from Lakewood church, from volunteering. And I call this chapter de-humanize because. That is how I felt. And it wasn't until I was talking to somebody a couple of months ago that they, that they gave me that word, you know, and I was explaining what happened.And they was like, you know, they be humanized you at Lakewood when they kicked you out, they told you, you weren't valuable and acceptable as you were. They stripped you of your humanity. And I was like, okay, I didn't know it was called that word, but that makes sense. You know, when someone tells you, you have to go.And so sometimes people will ask me, so did they tell you, you have to leave at Lakewood, but okay. Now if you tell somebody that they can no longer do the things that [01:03:00] draw them to the ministry, and then you tell them they can't do those things again, unless they change who they are. Are you not telling them to leave?The current form that they're in is certainly not welcome. You have established that there is ways to make people feel very uncomfortable and unwelcome without saying, Hey, Lee, You know, it doesn't have to be stated, you know, and I tried to go back there and sit in the audience, but it was too hard to do.I felt like people were looking at me and watching me. They found out on my MySpace page that I wasn't straight. And they said for that reason, I could no longer be in, in service of anything at Lakewood. And I was on Wednesday nights, I was a volunteer supervisor over all the other kids.Teachers is about 20 in total, 20 groups of kids, hundreds of fucking kids. I had my own class to teach. I was also in charge of the check-in process at the front, at the, at the check-in counter for all the kids into disputes that [01:04:00] happen. You know, I'm mediated that between the teachers and the parents.I sang, I was a worship leader for the kids too. And then also staying in the adult choir on the weekends. And they were like, you're fired from volunteering from all of that. Cause you're not straight. And, and they were like, we, you can't be over there hanging out in Montrose. Montrose is the gay district in Houston.They were like, you know, you can't be over there and I've come to learn that churches regulate people like this. Like there are staff members, churches will tell their staff members, you can't drink. You can't go here. You can't go there. That's how the military was with, with me too. They were like, even the military.We don't want you at this bar at this place. I don't know what the fuck, these organizations who they think they are, that they have. Dictate to a person what they're doing when they're not on, in this case, they, the church has time. I never bought boyfriends up to Lakewood. And none of that, when I was at Lakewood, I was on Lakewood's time.Okay. I [01:05:00] wasn't paid are none of this. And even if I was, it's none of their fucking business, what I'm doing when I'm not at church. And so they were like, well, one of the kids could have found your MySpace page. And I'm thinking that, you know, that shit, that kids do, you know, they have this glossy image of their children and I'm like, no, bitch, they would've done nothing more than what they're already doing.And so, so that was a devastating thing. You know, that, that, that, that was like a heartbreak that that's one of the top, definitely in the top two or three most terrible things that ever happened to me in my life. You know, up there with becoming homeless, getting HIV you know, having to deal with likely affairs that my dad had and things like that being kicked out of Lakewood churches is at the top of that list is that sort of trauma, the sort of shit that hurts you so deep.You just, you space out and you don't [01:06:00] think it's real, you just get numb and so much pain, you know, that's how that was.Just don't pass on from this chapter. But it was what it was par four covers my life when 2010 to 2012, Vish a lot can happen in two years, fuck me in the tits with a Dick shit can change. And so chapter 12 is called a fucking wreck.This statement here has two meanings. Personally. I was a fucking wreck after being kicked out of Lakewood and fired from volunteering, you know, internally I was a fucking wreck. And then I also literally had a fucking wreck because I was, I wasn't drunk, but I was very, very tired and fatigued. And I had heard the warnings about how it was not good to drink if you're tired because the alcohol can enhance the fatigue.And I didn't have that much to drink. Just a couple of bloody Mayer. I have been working like 12 hour shifts at the light company. No Houston. [01:07:00] And so I fell asleep at the wheel and I woke up to hitting light poles and every damn thing and total that car. And then that led me to buying my 2010 Ford Mustang.And I was the first person, I think, in Houston to have like a car, you know, that was that like that, that was a year. They changed the body style, you know, and they really, really tricked it out and amped up the Mustangs. It was a sick ass fucking car. and this chapter, we get into how I transitioned from being like this full-time church boy into this full time nightlife boy, that's my thinking. After I got kicked out of church, Yeah, they won't accept me. I know the streets will, so I'll start going to clubs and stuff a lot more so that I will feel loved.And so I didn't realize what I know now, how much we seek community. We're always going to find some type of bam tribes. So whether or not it's gangs, gamers, [01:08:00] you know playing video games, board games, you know, whether it's the hunting crew, the fishing crew, whatever the case may be, the fucking God damn croquet selling committee or whatever the fuck, bingo hall, whatever the fuck it is that you do.You're going to find some kind of way to connect with people. And so I didn't think, you know, to go to like a fine, I didn't know about like gay affirming churches. Some of the Presbyterian churches I think Lutheran, Episcopalian, metropolitan community churches. If you insist upon going to churches, they are actually churches out there who have gay pastors and leaders and stuff like that.We are not, you know, reduced to only going to these mainstream churches who don't like us and think we're wrong. They they're just what we tend to see a lot, but you have so many options if you're not straight. And my main message to the non straight people, when it comes to religion is stop going to churches where you were

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New/ Better Voices in my Head

Christ's Church Albany

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2022 33:15

N.A.R.C. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Collaborators

Voices in My Head: The Narcissistic Introjects

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2022 29:48

Long after the narcissist has gone away and reinvented a new persona with someone else, the victim suffers from "introjects" in their head. They cannot tell what is their own thoughts and those of the narcissist that has corrupted their mind. There are three important voices to be able to identify, and full recovery and freedom from the narcissist may be dependent on your understanding and identification of these voices. It may very well be the most important tool for separating from the narcissist and regaining agency and power over your own life. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pesqueda/message

narcissistic voices in my head

Episode556-DJ IMPACT "Voices In My Head" [Tony Kahn Tweet]

Vegas BadBoyz Of Podcasting

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2022 42:35

On this Edition Of Vegas Bad Boyz Of Podcasting, DJ IMPACT brings back his popular podcast, "Voices In My Head". He takes a look at tweet that Tony Kahn made during the week of Double Or Nothing taken shots at WWE for moving Money In The Bank from a stadium to a smaller arena due to low ticket sales. DJ IMPACT finally put his thoughts onto the podcast in which you will either agree or disagree. Follow Vegas BadBoyz

wwe aew cm punk money in the bank mitb mjf double or nothing voices in my head pipebomb tony kahn

The Hateful Gnome's Music Hut - Episode 4

Bleach Bros Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2022 30:17

Welcome back to The Hut. Episode 4 is ready to smother and COVER you. The Hater and The Gnome are bringing all the covers you need to listen to. That's right, we are breaking down some of our favorite bands that have covered popular songs from other genres of music. Top 10 with a couple honorable mentions of The Hater and The Gnome's cover songs, so grab a pen and write these bangers down. Of course it wouldn't be The Hut without our music recommendations. For Jake he is bringing the new single from Falling In Reverse, Voices in my head. He also has the album The Brave. Gnome is cranking the decibel with the new album Fury done by Upon a Burning Body, and a new single called SlaughterHouse done by Motionless in White featuring Bryan Garris of Knocked Loose. Make sure to check the links below for all these songs. Also make sure to check out The Bleach Bros and Dads on Dayquill links below. Stay heavy and Horns up. Spotify – Voices In My Head Spotify – The Brave Spotify – Fury Spotify – Slaughterhouse (feat. Bryan Garris Of Knocked Loose) @BleachBrosPodcast | Linktree @DadsonDayquill | Linktree Intro/Outro Bloody Lip Season, courtesy of Violent New Breed all rights reserved (1) VIOLENT NEW BREED (@VNBofficial) / Twitter

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MY NEW NORM Podcast- S2 E05 / RON GOLLNER / STORY BEHIND THE STORIES

MY NEW NORM Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 45:51

MY NEW NORM Podcast-S2 E05GUEST: RON GOLLNEREPISODE: STORY BEHIND THE STORIESIn this episode, you'll meet RON GOLLNER, author of more than 20 books underthe pen name, R.G. RYAN.Ron's story begins as a boy being raised by a single mom who diedat a young age leaving him to be raised by another family member.His artistic abilities rose to the surface at a young age in the form of a musician,composer and singer; and later in life as an author.Ron will capture your attentionwith his accomplished storytelling abilitiesand advice for the author hiding within you.R.G. Ryan is the author of the Jake Moriarity series of thrillers, The Voices In My Head (the biography of late Las Vegas entertainment icon, Danny Gans), and the popular Snapshots At St. Arbuck's series. He lives with his first wife on the coast of somewhere beautiful. Can sing a little.RAGMAN: by Walter Wangerin, Jr. PDF LINKEPISODE PEEK:https://youtu.be/DAHkK1x8uNwR.G. RYAN BOOKS:AMAZON BOOKLIST

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Voices In My Head

The Healing Elixir

Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2022 9:04

Let's talk about them. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Unbroken: Healing Through Storytelling

92: Bonus Time with Brian Pennie

Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2022 37:35

Brian Pennie is an author, speaker, PhD candidate, university lecturer, and life-change strategist. His life used to be very different, however. On October 8 2013, he experienced his first day clean after 15 years of chronic heroin addiction.Addiction nearly killed him, but on that fateful day in October, he received a gift. Call it what you will: a perspective shift, an awakening, or simply dumb luck — that's not important – what matters, is that it completely changed the course of his life.In what seemed like an instant, the world seemed to glow. Colours were more colourful. Sounds were more cheerful. Things that were once hollow were now full of depth. He felt more alive than ever before and he hasn't looked back since.He says:"Captivated by this sudden change, I started to question why I felt so alive. I didn't see it at first, but then it hit me. It had tortured me my entire life. The voices in my head, the stories that I spun myself – the ones that drove my anxiety and, in turn, my addiction – they were gone. For as long as I could remember, thinking had consumed me – my mind racing about what I thought needed to do – but the voices were silent and my anxiety was gone. The race was over and my new life had begun."Some key points from the interview:-How addiction had him early on, but he could not see it.-How his addiction forced him to lead a double life.-How he catches himself if he becomes anxious or thinks negative thoughts.-how he is "Schizophrenically Normal"-How he studied a load of self help, and the revelations that came.-How, after his awakening he had a desire to help others.-How the "Words we speak become the world we live in"Hosted by Madeleine Black, the show will share stories of all the amazing people Madeleine has met on her own journey as an author/speaker and these stories will heal, motivate, inspire and bring hope when they share their wisdom and knowledge with her.She really believes in the power that comes when we share our stories, that in fact we are not story tellers but story healers. Tune in to discover what helped them to stay unbroken and together we will discover that none of us are broken beyond repair.You can find out more about Madeleine, her story and her memoir, Unbroken, from her website: https://madeleineblack.co.uk/Watch via YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/c/MadeleineBlackUnbroken

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The Voices in My Head

N.A.R.C. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Collaborators

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 29:54

When the narcissist is gone, they leave behind a horrible legacy. They implant three voices in your head that render you captive to intrusive thoughts and a complete hi-jacking of your own inner voice which is replaced by these introjects. You must identify them and get them out like an infestation or disease. It is one of the reasons it is so hard to let them go and stop thinking about them. It is one of the reasons you do not have power over your own life. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pesqueda/message