Podcasts about when tara

When Tara contemplates leaving Power U to search for answers, frenemy Priscilla makes her an offer she might not be able to refuse. Meanwhile, Mr. Sinclair gets cozy with Mrs. Biddeslapch, and a villainous mastermind receives an unwelcome visitor.

Last week, we took our first trip of this Hot Vax Summer. And later this month, we're driving out to Montana to enjoy a month in the mountains again. We'll still be working but the business will largely be in maintenance mode. Which brings me to today's topic. When Tara and I decided I'd take over for her this month and explore the topic of taking a break, I immediately knew the first person I wanted to talk to. My friend and YHM podcaster Susan Boles. Susan is the founder of ScaleSpark and the host of Break The Ceiling. She has an eye for efficiency, systems, and automation that makes her the perfect candidate for talking about how to put a business in maintenance mode. And, Susan, like many others, was forced to wrestling with the reality of building a business made for maintenance mode when the pandemic hit and schools closed. During our conversation, you'll hear that story and why it's so important to her to have a business that runs in maintenance mode. You'll also hear how Susan can fall prey to shiny object syndrome and other distractions just like any other business owner, as well as how she's combating self-sabotage and how she balances work as a creative outlet with taking breaks. Now, let's find out what works for Susan Boles! The post EP 345: Putting Your Business In Maintenance Mode With ScaleSpark Founder Susan Boles appeared first on What Works.

“My whole goal in life is to have that connection with people.”—  Tara Stiles‘Yoga Rebel' and Strala founder Tara Stiles has inspired millions of people around the world to fall in love with yoga, meditation, and nutrition.In this episode, she'll inspire you to stretch your ambitions.When Tara first got interested in yoga, she wondered why others around her weren't, and started trying to figure out the misconceptions or fears holding them back. She began talking about yoga more as a way to feel better than as something difficult to be mastered. Her entrepreneurial journey started with a blog, a studio, and a very early YouTube channel in 2007, back when YouTube was primarily cat videos. She drew from her dance background and offered a freer, less rigid style of yoga — with a sense of humour. As she grew, she developed partnerships, began offering teacher trainings, and eventually licensing the Strala name to other studios.Now, she has books, an app, and a clothing line, and her instructors lead classes in 15 countries to thousands of people.Learn how she grew an empire aligned with her values and goals! In‌ ‌this‌ ‌episode,‌ ‌you'll discover:‌ ‌How Tara transformed her passion for yoga into a wellness business empire Why she doesn't regret turning down venture capital funding — and believes in the power of slowing downHow to get back into yoga (without feeling intimidated)About Tara StilesTara Stiles is an American model turned yoga instructor and founder of Strala Yoga in New York City. Stiles grew Strala from one studio based in the SoHo neighborhood of New York City to a studio and training business with currently over 1,000 instructors leading classes in 15 countries regularly to thousands of people weekly. Her latest wellness book is Clean Mind, Clean Body: A 28-Day Plan for Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Self Care.Highlights:‌ ‌01:18  Meet Tara Stiles03:50  From passion to business06:42  Expansion & licensing10:06  VC money12:47  Pandemic challenges (& triumphs)15:56  Community17:07  Clean Mind, Clean Body22:06  Writing process23:51  Takeaway ‌Linkshttps://www.tarastiles.comhttps://stralayoga.com Instagram: @tarastilesBookCAN: https://amzn.to/3utIgz6US: https://amzn.to/3oYsJGoThe Business Societyhttps://thebusinesssociety.co5-Step Roadmap to Biz Finance Freedomhttps://melissa-houston-cpa-cga.mykajabi.com/5-step-roadmap-to-biz-finance-freedomBiz Basicshttps://melissa-houston-cpa-cga.mykajabi.com/biz-finance-basicsThe 20 Minute Money Methodhttps://melissa-houston-cpa-cga.mykajabi.com/the-20-minute-money-methodConfident Cashhttps://melissa-houston-cpa-cga.mykajabi.com/confident-cashPersonal Finance Money Methodhttps://melissa-houston-cpa-cga.mykajabi.com/person-finance-money-methodWork with mehttps://www.melissahoustoncpa.com/work-with-me

When Tara and Babe were looking for houses, a pool wasn't on their list of things that they NEEDED. But, turns out, thats just what they got, but turns out they don't know the first thing about having a pool, so their pool company is enrolling them in Pool University (P.U.). Because we can't be there, Matt has painted quite the picture.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In today's episode Michelle speaks with author, Tedx speaker and community builder Tara Geraghty. When Tara thought her life had hit rock bottom during her divorce from an abusive husband, she found out that was just a trap door. Her 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  Drawing on her faith, friends and the community she built around her, Tara not only helped her daughter survive but realized she could help other parents deal the trauma of their children getting cancer. Her book was born and soon afterwards a Tedx talk. Michelle discusses with Tara the key tools she used to build mental resilience and get through her darkest day and how she built a community on the app Clubhouse to over 10k within four weeks. Here are a few takeaways: - If things aren't going well change your focus quickly. Focus on what you want. - She put a blank picture frame on her wall for years as she was figuring out what she wanted her life to look like. - No matter how bad you think you have there is always someone worse off. - Laughter is the best medicine. - Control your thoughts. When she would start to think her daughter could die she'd say to herself "Cancel! Cancel!" or if only 7 children survive "Why not her daughter be number 7?" -If we put everyone else first what are we teaching our daughters? To get in contact with Tara: heygirlyoucan.com

Everyone has “Skeleton's in their Closet”, but Tara didn't know about the Skeleton living in her families closet until years after her parents were already battling it. Tara's shares her personal experiences dealing with the trauma and pain caused by her fathers battle with addiction.  Tara's Dad was introduced to pornography as a young boy, to no fault of his own. Years of trauma and unprocessed feelings lingered in him and led to very real and strong cravings throughout his life. Spending money on prostitutes, going to strip clubs, and viewing pornography regularly were habits that gripped his life to the point sometimes that Tara's mother didn't know if she was going to be able to feed the family because of his spending habits. When Tara's mother first learned of her husband's addiction she did what she felt was best for her marriage and her family. She fought for it and almost willed her husband to change.  Soon after Tara's mission when she was newly wed, Tara's Father was arrested for soliciting a prostitute, excommunicated from the Church he belonged too, and in jeopardy of potentially even losing his job. At this crucial point He made a courageous decision, he chose to face each member of his family, and with complete humility and vulnerability he told them all the full truth. Honesty finally came into play and as a result Shame could be processed and worked through.  Although this was not the first offense for her Father, her Mother's response was very different and set the stage for recovery. The day after learning what he had done, she walked outside raised her hands up to God and “gave” her husband to Him. She told God that she was done trying to push him to change and put all of her trust and faith in God to take watch over and care for her Husband and Family. She needed to see that her husband was willing to change for good without any pressure from her other than knowing if he didn't she would walk away. Her willingness to take the huge leap of faith and finally let go and allowed her husband the opportunity to see that his wife was serious about leaving. The consequences and pain of his decisions began to settle in and Tara's Father found himself in a very sacred space, filled with Godly sorrow. Godly sorrow is recognizing that not only have you betrayed, hurt, and damaged the people who love you most that you claim to love, it goes even deeper… It is the realization one comes to when they realize their choices bearing the fruits of impurity in our mind, body and soul, encompassed in sincere gratitude and sorrow to the very creator of it. When we find ourselves in this space we truly recognize and grab hold of His ever present Love, Mercy and Grace. God loves us in our imperfections and our value to Him is beyond our understanding, that is why His plan included the sacrifice of His beloved and perfect Son Jesus Christ. Jesus came to heal broken things, and if we never accept our brokenness, especially in the middle of our critical mistakes we do not give Him the chance to redeem our souls like He promised He would do. Tara's Father Surrendered… He literally laid down his pride and selfish ways. Enough was enough, he knew that it was his thinking and his choosing that had created his current circumstances and he wasn't smart enough to fix it, but Jesus Christ is, and He did. Being sorry when we are “busted” or “discovered” is easy, and change most often times will not last for long it we don't reach a place of Godly Sorrow. he was determined to turn to Jesus Christ, come forward to his wife, and religious leader, and once he did, he felt immediate relief and courage. Today he looks back on the experience and says, “In that moment I decided to give it to God, I felt Him immediately.” The Atonement of Jesus Christ is  All in all the Gift that was given to Tara, her Father, her Mother and family members was given in a very "ugly package". In her own words Tara explains, “This is the ugliest Gift that has been given to her in her whole life, but “it” has blessed me in so many ways it's hard to describe. She goes on to exclaim "God gives us weakness and pain to help us distinguish the light from the dark, and without hard experience and suffering we can do nothing to help those that suffer." Now years later, Tara's parents have started a foundation, called SA Lifeline, which provides education and resources to help addicts face their addictions and give them the tools to help them work their way their addiction.  Tara's Mom also wrote a book about her own "recovery" called, “What can I do about, Me” to share her story of betrayal, and how she was able to heal from the trauma of being betrayed by someone she loved. If you would like to to read her book, you can find it at their foundations website @ www.salifeline.org or an of the following Deseret Book, Amazon, or Kindle.  Tara said of her parents miraculous recovery, “In their brokenness they have been able to shine light to those who suffer and who are in the dark.” What a powerful witness of the reality of Jesus Christ, His divine mission, and the very purpose He came to this earth. He came, so that we experience and the beauty of an imperfect life, full of struggle, failure, pain, grief, and sorrow so that we can truly learn and know the Peace, Joy, Hope, Love, and Happiness that exist perfectly in the character of God.  Tara, you are such an incredible person and a light for so many of us that need the hope filled message you have to share. Thank you for sharing you and your families story and fight through the overwhelming battle of addiction. Your parents are amazing, and are examples that our own struggles, mistakes, failures, and weaknesses do not need to continually beat us down, keeping us ashamed of ourselves, rather they are the very gifts given to us that can lead to the doors of opportunity for our greatest experiences, joys, victories, and discovery of personal value. Do not be afraid, only believe! To connect with Tara, you can find her on Instagram @churchofjesuschrist_sr_podcast or through the foundation her parents opened at www.salifeline.org  

When Tara's third aunt developed breast cancer, she knew something was up. She decided to be proactive with her health and get tested for the BRCA gene, a genetic mutation that drastically increases chances of developing breast cancer. When the test came back positive, she made a quick decision to undergo a preventive double mastectomy and removal of her Fallopian tubes. She was determined to prevent cancer so she could continue to be present for her family. Little did she know that a year later, she would be diagnosed with a different type of cancer that would put her through physical and emotional agony. Through it all, her competitor's mindset prevailed. Tune in and be inspired by her strength and drive as she shares her story on this episode of Suddenly Stronger. Guest: Tara Ramos (Check out her Instagram here!)Intro / Outro: Stronger by Les Thomas (Check him out on YouTube and Instagram!)Highlights ✨01:22 The BRCA Mutation01:57 The Light Bulb Moment02:20 The Genetic Test Results03:40 The Quick Decision06:40 The Empowered Tara09:35 The Headache (How It All Started)13:08 The Theory for Oral Cancer15:20 The First Diagnosis18:45 The Initial Surgery19:23 The Pathology Report (More Operations!)22:00 The Support System24:00 The “Fight or Flight” Lessons in Action26:45 The Motivation to Show Up Every Day27:30 The Lung Tumor31:00 The YOLO Attitude!32:30 The Big Surgery33:48 The Scary Chemo Decision 37:00 The Changes38:50 The Coping Process41:05 The Company of a Good Friend45:08 The Continuous Battle47:08 The Healing process (Mind and Body)50:20 The Lingering Effects52:10 The Long-Term Outcome53:20 The Biggest Takeaway56:28 The Focus on HealingThank you for tuning in for today’s episode. If you’ve found inspiration and hope in this episode, please SUBSCRIBE so you’ll never miss out! If you know someone who can be inspired or encouraged by listening to SUDDENLY STRONGER, please share this with them!Missed the previous episode? Listen to it here

When Tara’s first born child came along, she didn’t want her output to change. She's a go-getter and didn't want to sacrifice her driven spirit. But something had to give. As if overnight, she had to learn to balance her career, her fitness, the nutrition of herself and her family, and she needed to learn a whole new method of time management and goal setting.  And things have only gotten busier since her kids have grown. Through the years, Tara has found comfort in the fact that you CAN be a working mom who is dedicated to your career and devoted to your family, while still living a healthy, and inspired life. And while perfect isn’t possible, Tara is an example to so many women and entrepreneurs who are ALSO wearing many hats in their life. Connect with Tara https://thebalancedplan.com/about-me/ https://www.instagram.com/thebalancedplan/ Connect with Kelsey Join me on Instagram for “behind-the-scenes” stories, strategies & the occasional slip-up, click here if we’re not connected Ready to make your first (or next!) $50,000 in business? Explore how The Visionary Method Business Coaching Experience can accelerate your growth. Feeling lost, confused or overwhelmed when it comes to starting an online business? Book a free (re)vision call with me and I’ll offer you customized recommendations on how to get “unstuck” so you can live a life filled with joy, happiness & fulfillment.

When Tara’s first born child came along, she didn’t want her output to change. She's a go-getter and didn't want to sacrifice her driven spirit. But something had to give. As if overnight, she had to learn to balance her career, her fitness, the nutrition of herself and her family, and she needed to learn a whole new method of time management and goal setting.  And things have only gotten busier since her kids have grown. Through the years, Tara has found comfort in the fact that you CAN be a working mom who is dedicated to your career and devoted to your family, while still living a healthy, and inspired life. And while perfect isn’t possible, Tara is an example to so many women and entrepreneurs who are ALSO wearing many hats in their life. Connect with Tara https://thebalancedplan.com/about-me/ https://www.instagram.com/thebalancedplan/ Connect with Kelsey Join me on Instagram for “behind-the-scenes” stories, strategies & the occasional slip-up, click here if we’re not connected Ready to make your first (or next!) $50,000 in business? Explore how The Visionary Method Business Coaching Experience can accelerate your growth. Feeling lost, confused or overwhelmed when it comes to starting an online business? Book a free (re)vision call with me and I’ll offer you customized recommendations on how to get “unstuck” so you can live a life filled with joy, happiness & fulfillment.

Tara Stiles is a global yoga, movement, and wellness expert, Author, and Founder of Stråla Yoga.  She brings a revolutionary approach to being, moving and healing to inspire millions around the world with her relatable perspective to yoga, meditation, exercise, awareness, nutrition, and everyday well-being. Through her many books,  including the upcoming “Clean Mind, Clean Body”  and LIVE and On Demand online classes, Tara offers an important reset button, providing tools, guidance and immersive experiences in mental and physical self-care to transform daily routines and habits and ease into our wellness where we can truly feel and be our best selves. When Tara and her husband Mike, launched Stråla Yoga, they were incredibly forward thinking in their approach to teaching and yoga, combining the  movement and healing wisdom of Tai Chi with the form vocabularies of Yoga, Tai Chi, Qigong, and Traditional Chinese and Japanese Medicine. On todays episode, I sync up with Tara about her journey into yoga, wellness, writing and entrepreneurship, the inspiration behind Stråla yoga, her new book, Clean Mind, Clean Body, and of course, she shares her personal go-to wellness rituals and routines. Pre-order her new book, out in December 2020,  CLEAN MIND, CLEAN BODY: A life-changing 28-day detox for body and mind. CONNECT Tara Stiles on Instagram  and Facebook Strala Yoga on Instagram and YouTube Marni On The Move Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn Marni Salup on Instagram OFFERS Sign up for my workshop with The Alchemist's Kitchen: Tools + Rituals for Mind Body And Spirit: A How To Guide On Building A Healthier Lifestyle and Physical Routine Take control of your health and wellness journey with InsideTracker, the ultra-personalized nutrition platform that analyzes your blood, DNA, and lifestyle to help you optimize your body from the inside out. Transform your body's data into meaningful insights and a customized action plan of the science-backed recommendations you Get twenty percent off today at InsideTracker, Use our code THANKYOUMOTM. Mad Ritual CBD Balm has changed our sports and fitness recovery game in a big way!  Get ready to recover like a rebel with these awesome high quality CBD infused products!  Shop with our code marnionthemove for 15% off your purchase. TrainingPeaks is offering Marni on the Move listeners 30 days of free Premium. Use our code: Marnionthemove on their website, www.trainingpeaks.com. Head over to our SHOP page for additional offers from Marni on the Move partners, sponsors, and guests including Navitas Organics, Sun Potion, Amrita Health Foods and more. SUBSCRIBE Sign up for our weekly newsletter, The Download for Marni on the Move updates, exclusive offers, invites to events, and exciting news! Check out past editions: January 2020, November 2019. August 2019  December 2018 November 2018 SHARE Leave us a review on Apple. It's easy, scroll through the episode list on your podcast app, click on five stars, click on leave a review, and share what you love about the conversations you're listening to. Tell your friends to what you love on social. Screenshot or share directly from our stories the episode you're listening to, tag us and the guests, and use our new Marni on the Move Giphy!        

Tara A. Clancy, M.A., is a certified Buteyko breathing specialist who helps people UNcover and REcover from hidden sleep problems. She is passionate about helping clients solve sleep problems because it is the key to transforming lives. O2 TARA knows because she is a former victim of COUNTERFEIT SLEEP™ herself!She is the creator of the O2 TARA GUIDES health series, an outgrowth of her work with specialized practitioners in the fields of sleep medicine and airway health. For her forthcoming book entitled "Is Your Sleep Making You Tired?™," she interviewed many of the world’s leading physicians and practitioners.Tara is a professional member of the National Speakers Association and past-president of the CT chapter. She is a certified Virtual Speaker and the host of the popular 1 THING YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW health and wellness series.When Tara is not working with clients, speaking to groups and writing, she enjoys kayaking with her daughter, rock climbing, and getting real sleep!In this episode you will learn about taking a deep breath is sometimes the worst thing you can do when your feeling anxious and what to do instead to enjoy greater sleep and peace of mind.Learn More and Follow Herhttp://o2tara.org/Here are more links shared on the episode:QUIZ: http://o2tara.org/quiz/ NOSE UNBLOCKING EXERCISE: http://o2tara.org/how-to-unblock-a-stuffy-nose/FIX YOUR SLEEP E-RESOURCE http://o2tara.org/o2-tara-guides-fix-your-sleep/Thank you so much for tuning in! If you are dealing with panic and looking for a process that will allow you to break free from this crippling fear state I want to invite you to check out Jennifer's Panic Attack Survival Guide. Grab a FREE copy HERE. https://jenniferbronsnick.activehosted.com/f/1

In this episode, special guest Tara Ross joins me as she shares her own personal story on Resilience. In this episode, you'll discover: Tara's Story How she started her search for God in her teens How she learned to overcome irrational fears and anxiety Can health science and Faith go hand in hand? How to connect and mentor the youth Healing through Creative Writing Journey to Fade to White About Tara K. Ross As a teen, Tara K. Ross discovered how well-written prose can change the trajectory of a person's life. Case in point: her life. She now passes along this wisdom through her work as a school speech-language pathologist and mentors with local youth programs. She is also blessed with a ridiculously supportive family that grants her time to create stories that tackle the interplay of faith and mental health. FADE TO WHITE is her debut novel (IlluminateYA, May 2020). When Tara is not writing or reading all things YA, you can find her rock climbing the Ontario escarpment, planning her family's next jungle trek or blogging at www.hopeprose.com. More Information on how to find Tara: Website - https://www.tarakross.com/ Book - Fade to White - Buy Now HERE Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tara.k.ross/ Thanks for Tuning In! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with your friends! Don't forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic episode updates for our "Being Eve! And, finally, please take a minute to leave us an honest review and rating on iTunes. They really help us out when it comes to the ranking of the show and I make it a point to read every single one of the reviews we get. Please leave a review right now https://podcasts.apple.com/kw/podcast/being-eve-loving-living-thriving-without-losing-authentic/id1459390971 --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/casey-alexis/message

On this week's episode, I have a conversation with Tara Abel, a Postnatal Fitness Specialist, about what mothers experience during and after birth. We talked about how diastasis recti affects all mothers, the "Four Ps" of postpartum, and exercises to consider after birth.7:04 - What is Diastasis Recti?10:44 - Is there a range in severity?16:34 - How do men best support their partners through postpartum?19:04 - What are the symptoms of Diastasis Recti and pelvic floor issues?23:10 - What happens if the symptoms aren't addressed?25:52 - What do all moms need to hear about diastasis recti?27:09 - How do you find a professional to help you?32:34 - What are the types of specialists that can help?35:04 - What exercises are generally safe?40:28 - Are bodyweight exercises automatically safe?42:21 - How do you know when you're ready for exercise?45:55 - How to shift your mindset to valuing exercise?50:10 - What are some tricks to getting exercise into your schedule?---Tara was an athlete growing up but struggled to maintain her athleticism after becoming a mom. What started as the pursuit of weight loss turned into a life-changing shift in mindset, strength, confidence, falling in love with lifting weights, and wanting to make it attainable for other women to do the same.She became a Certified Personal Trainer with a passion for taking the overwhelm out of fitness for women and supporting them in every stage. She coaches busy women to make realistic, moderate, sustainable changes that meet them wherever they’re at. After overcoming severe diastasis recti postpartum, she became especially passionate about empowering women with education on core and pelvic floor health and was certified as a Postnatal Fitness Specialist and a Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism Coach.A mom to four wild and lovely young children, Tara understands the importance and difficulty of finding a balance and of looking at fitness from a holistic lens. She wants every woman to be able to chase after their kids, say yes to every activity, and to feel free and empowered in their body. When Tara’s not at the gym, you can be sure she’s spending time with her family, doing home renos, or getting overly competitive while playing board games.Website: https://www.taraabel.com/ | Instagram: @taraabelfitness

Entrepreneurship has long been part of the zeitgeist in the for-profit world, but Tara Abrahams honed her entrepreneurial skills in the non-profit world, building and leading a number of grassroots impact organizations. She’s worked with Girls Who Code and The Obama Foundation's recently launched Girls Opportunity Alliance and led both The Girl Project at Glamour Magazine and Girl Rising. When Tara came across She's the First and VOW, her skills and experience collided with her passion for women's issues. Tara served as the managing director of VOW, which seeks to end child marriage around the world, and is currently the board chair at She’s the First, which works to ensure that girls are educated, respected and heard. Tara recently joined Arabella Advisors to support philanthropists in moving from idea to impact. Learn how Tara was able to apply her MBA to thinking about her career and non-profit mission and impact.Subscribe to The IdeaMix Radio podcast and stay tuned for our weekly episodes. On The IdeaMix Radio we speak with entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, career changers, experts and enthusiasts for insider tips that help you build the life, business, and career you want.The IdeaMix is the go-to destination for entrepreneurs to turn their idea into a business. Check out our website at www.theideamix.com. For comments, questions, podcast guest ideas or sponsorship enquiries, please email info@theideamix.com.

Tara Hannah’s church taught her that God created women emotionally weaker than men, which “rightfully” places them in subservient roles to men. When Tara searched the scriptures for herself, she discovered her freedom and her God-given power. Today, we're dismantling what she had been taught together.

When Tara sees a strange symbol in her dream, she’s convinced it holds a cryptic message and becomes determined to unlock its meaning.Created by Stewart St John. Written and Directed by Stewart St John. Sound design by Michael Plahuta. Produced by Todd Fisher, Stewart St John & Michael Plahuta. Original Score by Stewart St John & Michael Plahuta.————————Listen to the full season of Tara Tremendous: The Egyptian Curse exclusively on Pinna.https://pinna.fm/library/kids-shows/pinna-podcasts/tara-tremendous-the-egyptian-curse————————Catch up on old episodes and find out more about Tara Tremendous: The Secret Diaries podcast here:https://www.wonkybot.com/podcasts/————————-Listen to more great kids and family shows at:https://www.wonkybot.com/————————-Subscribe to our newsletter to stay up-to-date on your favorite podcasts, the latest news and special offers from Wonkybot Studios.https://www.wonkybot.com/subscribe/

In this episode of Inside Jobs, we meet Tara DeZao (https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-dezao-083a463/), Director of Content and Creative Services for Oracle Data Cloud at Oracle. A Jersey girl by birth, Tara’s move west put her in the path of the Silicon Valley boom where she ultimately found her place in the tech industry. When Tara’s talents were spotted by a savvy exec, she migrated from channel management to content management—contributing to the build of Oracle’s internal agency while bridging the gap between the business and creative. —— This podcast is supported by the In-House Agency Forum (www.ihaforum.org) and hosted by Robert Berkeley (www.linkedin.com/in/rberkeley/) from Express KCS (www.expresskcs.com).

In 2009 Tara Newman and her husband declared bankruptcy. The business Tara’s husband had started had failed. In this episode, Tara tells her powerful story. Tara now has a business of her own. She is a high-performance leadership coach. After years in the corporate world supporting leaders and high performers, she created a thriving business, coaching high-achieving clients. In this episode, she talks about getting through the bankruptcy, starting her own business and how a high achiever becomes a high performer. I know that you had many experiences, including overcoming bankruptcy and starting your own business. How did that all come about? How did you fall down and pick yourself up? In 2005, Tara’s husband decided to start a manufacturing business. It came with significant start-up costs to purchase machinery, materials and build out a manufacturing space. What kind of business? Her husband manufactured rotationally molded plastic parts which include things like mannequins and rock climbing holds. Initially, he had success but then the 2008 financial crisis happened and people started sending this kind of work to China. They lost two of their biggest customers. Then in 2009, the bank called in their line of credit. They were given 30 days to repay $100000. Tara’s dad was the 3rd partner in the business and he had put up his commercial property as collateral. They were also getting foreclosure notices on their house. How were you feeling? Terrified. Shut down. Catatonic. But she was also grateful for what they were going through because she knew it was going to be the greatest lesson of their life if they survived. Was there an ‘if you survived’? Tara felt stuck but she didn’t feel hopeless. She knew there was something on the other side of this. Tell me about the lowest moment. It was all low. And then there were moments of hope. The book The Secret had just come out and Tara’s mum told her to read it. She read it and it was the right book for her to read at the time. It helped her frame things more positively. It helped her seek solutions from a positive perspective. She started journaling and they had garage sales every weekend to help pay for groceries. Getting the foreclosure notices was a moment. She didn’t know how to process everything. She had never felt anything so catastrophic in her life. What was the turning point? The turning point when the bank called in the note. They were only keeping that business open to meet that financial obligation to the bank. They had the thought that once they had paid back the credit to the bank they could quit the business. After the note was called in Tara’s Dad liquidated some assets to pay it. When Tara and her husband realized that they couldn’t close the business, pay back her Dad and pay the credit card debt they had, they decided to declare bankruptcy. Tara is a fighter and she decided that this wasn’t going to define her. Even though when they declared bankruptcy, it felt like a death sentence. Tara had been wanted to start her own business and it no longer felt like that could happen. When did you declare bankruptcy? In 2010 they declared bankruptcy. So they are in year 9 of an 11-year term. In 2010 you declared bankruptcy. For the next year, what did that look like? There is not a lot of information available on how to overcome bankruptcy. Tara’s husband closed the business and was able to liquidate some of the machines and leftover material. He wasn’t in the right state to get a job. So he used some of that money to buy a trailer and do handyman services for a year while he wrapped up the business and figured out what to do next. He felt like a colossal failure and needed a lot of coaching and support to be able to out there and get a job. With Tara’s support, he was able to find a well-paying job. Over this time they learned so much about money - how to save and leverage their money. They became minimalists and learned that they didn’t need much. Each time they had a garage sale they had to dig a little deeper to find more stuff that they could get rid of What were you thinking? What was a thought that was going through your mind? When you go through something so traumatic, the ability to think and feel shuts down. The way you take in information changes. Tara could be in in the line with a cart full of groceries and two babies as her card is being declined. What’s going through your mind though? Is it ‘I don’t want to be doing this anymore’? When Tara’s husband was doing the home improvement work, things weren’t much better. And she told him she was done. He needed to go and get a job because she wasn’t losing the house. And how did you come back? For the most part, when they were going through this they were terrible communicators. They didn’t want to voice the reality of the situation and talk about being afraid. Once they started talking about it, the stress started to decrease. Having kids helped because they wanted to give them some sense of normalcy. Tara journaled a lot as a way of communicating with herself What was your first step to working again? Tara had been working full time throughout this time, even while helping her husband on the business. What was one of the biggest lessons you learned? You can live on a lot less than you think you need. They didn’t realize how little they needed to live on and to thrive. After declaring bankruptcy, her husbands way back to himself was ironman triathlons. He would train 20 hours a week and threw himself into redefining himself and his success. In 2014 he raced Ironman Lake Placid and stood in the finishing circle. Tara looked at him and felt like she was in the shadow of his success. That’s when she decided she was going to start a business. In August 2015 she left her corporate job. She had started her business and it was doing ok. There was enough to indicate that she’d be able to support herself and bring in money. Were you scared? She wasn’t scared because she’d spent 9 months building her business while working full-time. She knew that she had started to build something and that the worst that could happen was that she would have to go back to work. She wanted to put away some money because the first year of business was going to have a lot of ups and downs. Her husband declared they were going to go on austerity and spend nothing. Tara knew she couldn’t go back there and that wasn’t going to work for her. She decided they were going to work on what they needed to thrive. She wrote a whole page of things in her journal. And was shocked to realize that none of them cost money. What was in there? To have a cozy blanket to sit on the couch with Intimate time with her husband Time spent with her kids Hugging her kids and telling them how important they are to her Time to read That list became the basis on how they spent their time, their money and their energy. It allowed them to save a tonne of money. If something wasn’t on their thrive list they didn’t spend money on it and if it was, they did. I love this idea of what do I need to thrive. There some things on the list that were silly. Tara knew she wanted a manicure once a week. That made her feel good about herself. It became a touchpoint for herself. She would look at her nails and think where is your mind at if you can’t spend $20 and 45 minutes to get your nails done. So what happened? Did you start to feel like you were thriving? Tara really did. She’s been wanting to leave her job for 10 years but the moment when you get the thing you dreamed about, it can be tricky. She had a few moments. She had the thing that she wanted and now she couldn’t lose the thing. In her worst moments, she knew that she just needed to go back to that list of things and she would be alright. Tara reflects on the failure of her husbands business and realizes that it was not the fault of the economy. They were in survival mode and couldn’t bring themselves to take the actions they should have taken. They could have hired coaches, employed more people or invested in sales training. Do you think to have a catastrophic failure gave you confidence and showed you how resilient you are? Absolutely. The worst thing that can happen to her business is that she goes bankrupt. And she’s been there. Don’t you think that the fear of the worst that can happen stops a lot of people? Oh yeah. But you’ve seen it so nothing can stop you because you got through that. Sometimes we can’t formulate beliefs because we don’t have proof. Tara has found it useful to borrow someone else’s proof. That’s why she shares her bankruptcy story. So that other people can borrow it. You work with a lot of high performers and achievers. Do you think they take it harder? When you are a high performer or achiever you face more fear than the average person because you are leaning into your growth edge. You are taking on challenges that most people won’t. I told one of my clients that she was a high performer because she was being really hard on herself and she was achieving. It was the first time that she had heard that identification for herself. Often high performers look at where they’re lacking because they want to achieve even more. When Tara worked for a corporate company she was running the performance management function. She created the way they measured performance and helped people evaluate and improve their performance. Every employer who was labeled as high potential would rate themselves harder than anyone else. People who were low potential had an inflated sense of their own performance. How do you inspire bold leadership for high performers? Most high performers who think of themselves as high performers are high achievers. Can you share the difference between a high performer and a high achiever? Tara thinks that being a high performer or a high achiever are both great things to be. But if you can turn a high achiever into a high performer it makes them even better. High achievers are really hard on themselves, try to control the outcome, set really big goals for themselves and don’t chunk things together. They achieve a lot of amazing stuff but struggle to find their wins and burn the candle at both ends in their pursuit of achievement. High performers know that you can’t burn the candle at both ends and that there is an equation to growth. Stress + Rest = Growth. They are as serious about their recovery as they are about their work. Sometimes I dance between a high achiever and a high performer. When I’m a high performer, I perform better. When I’m in high achiever mode, I’m typically stressed and unhappy and I know I need to shift. So you can oscillate between the two? Having an awareness of where you are on the spectrum can help you achieve with greater ease. High performers close the majority of their tabs. They know how to focus and have an appreciation for deep work. High achievers spin out quickly and get distracted. It doesn’t mean they aren’t achieving things. But do all those little achievements add up to the thing you want the most? High performers are incredibly discerning. They will slow down before they speed up. Society wants you to be a high achiever. That’s how we’ve been conditioned. It takes a lot to go against that conditioning and do the deep work on yourself to be a high performer. You have to be really bold, have strong beliefs, strong boundaries and have some unwavering and unapologetic ways about you. And you’re going to piss people off. Not everybody is going to like you or agree with you and that requires you to be bold. How do you think people can shift into a high-performance mindset? What’s a really practical way people can get into the mindset of a high performer? Tara likes looking at results. Everything is a result but it may not be the result you want. Was the result you got worth that time and effort? It’s important to be really intentional around your actions. I have recently shifted from achiever to performer. I put a hard stop to social media. Deleted Facebook, stopped scrolling and now there are no more comparisons. I felt like I was losing time and the result was I was beating myself up about what I wasn’t doing compared to other people. If you’d have told me this in achiever mode I’d have known I should quit social media but said I’m not going to do that right now. Another thing you should be monitoring are your ‘yeah, buts’. Because it’s a sure sign of resistance. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? “The secret is I care but not that much.” Tell us how we can get in touch with you Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetaranewman/ Bold Leadership Podcast: https://www.taranewmancoaching.com/podcast Links The Secret by Rhonda Byrne https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1582701709/    

This week we bring you the life story of Guinness heir turned ’60’s muse Tara Browne. Born into Irish aristocracy, Tara’s upbringing was anything but normal. Surrounded by some of the worlds most famous writers, artists, and politicians, Tara spent his childhood absorbing culture and learning by experience. By 14, Tara was already influencing those around him, always ahead of everyone else when it came to music, fashion and fast cars. When Tara moved to London he became a central figure in the Swinging London scene, bringing people like Paul McCartney, Brian Jones, Marianne Faithfull and Anita Pallenberg together with fellow socialites, muses and influencers. “He was the living, breathing quintessence of Swinging London, a dandy with the air of a young prince. The hippest of hip cats, he always seemed to be right on the heartbeat of the moment in everything he did, whether introducing Paul McCartney to the mind-expanding possibilities of LSD in his Mayfair flat, turning heads in his psychedelically coloured AC Cobra or gadding about Londons West End with a Beatle or Rolling Stone, or perhaps Peter Sellers or Roman Polanski by his side.” Tara’s life would be a short one, but his influence on the 60’s and those around him would shape the culture forever. Make sure to check out Paul Howard’s biography on Tara, I Read the News Today Oh Boy: The Short and Gilded Life of Tara Browne, the Man Who Inspired The Beatles’ Greatest Song. You can find us on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook. Don’t forget to Rate, Review & Subscribe to our podcast on iTunes! Check out PANTHEON for more amazing podcasts!

This week we bring you the life story of Guinness heir turned ’60’s muse Tara Browne. Born into Irish aristocracy, Tara’s upbringing was anything but normal. Surrounded by some of the worlds most famous writers, artists, and politicians, Tara spent his childhood absorbing culture and learning by experience. By 14, Tara was already influencing those around him, always ahead of everyone else when it came to music, fashion and fast cars. When Tara moved to London he became a central figure in the Swinging London scene, bringing people like Paul McCartney, Brian Jones, Marianne Faithfull and Anita Pallenberg together with fellow socialites, muses and influencers. “He was the living, breathing quintessence of Swinging London, a dandy with the air of a young prince. The hippest of hip cats, he always seemed to be right on the heartbeat of the moment in everything he did, whether introducing Paul McCartney to the mind-expanding possibilities of LSD in his Mayfair flat, turning heads in his psychedelically coloured AC Cobra or gadding about Londons West End with a Beatle or Rolling Stone, or perhaps Peter Sellers or Roman Polanski by his side.” Tara’s life would be a short one, but his influence on the 60’s and those around him would shape the culture forever. Make sure to check out Paul Howard’s biography on Tara, I Read the News Today Oh Boy: The Short and Gilded Life of Tara Browne, the Man Who Inspired The Beatles’ Greatest Song. You can find us on Twitter, Instagram & Facebook. Don’t forget to Rate, Review & Subscribe to our podcast on iTunes! Check out PANTHEON for more amazing podcasts!

In a world of self-centered social media and “it’s about me” culture, the work Tara Lemasters is doing is of utmost importance. Tara is a Licensed Therapist and an expert on the issue of narcissism, what it is and what it’s not, and our need to understand more deeply what a diagnosis of narcissism means. She and Rob also discuss when exhibitions of narcissism are normal and healthy vs. when self-obsession begins to take a turn into something much darker, and the difference between narcissist self-obsession and real empathy.   TAKEAWAYS: [1:24] Narcissism is almost something that is correlated with addiction. Most people that have problems with drugs and alcohol also have problems with how they see themselves. [2:05] Over the past 5 years, the term narcissism has become embraced in every relationship situation in our culture. The problem is not the word itself, but when a narcissist finds themselves more attached to their needs and addictions then the people they care about, with no fear of suffering consequences. [4:00] The term Narcissism is derived from Narcissus, a figure from Greek Mythology. This mythical being was so handsome that he fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. [4:53] Our material and outward focused culture supports narcissism and the belief of “I must have / get more to succeed and be liked.” Social media also supports the tendency for us to show off or portray certain things to get likes or shares, making us feel more important and connected. [6:22] Rob explains how every addict is a narcissist when engaged in their addictions. It shows up in sex addicts when it is an abandonment of core values and beliefs, at the expense of compartmentalizing what they want, when they want it. The addicts puts the need to satisfy their own needs above others, and hide it so they can have their cake and eat it too. [9:38] Tara believes that the process of healing is a process of creating greater empathy for oneself personally, and for the people in their life that their actions have an impact on. When Tara’s clients start to experience grief regarding how their actions have affected who they loved ones, a crack of empathy starts to come through. [11:20] In the early stages of healing, Rob often sees narcissist self-obsession, where the addict is worried or upset about how judgements hurts and affects them, and their self image. Later on in the healing process, when they feel true empathy, the focus will be on how their actions impacted their loved ones. [13:14] Expectations do not always reflect reality when a partner wishes for their narcissist partner to heal and deal with their issue quickly. It may often take a while, and this can be very frustrating for a partner whose world has been shattered. Tara recommends that the hurt partner focus as much as they can on self-care and finding support of their own. [19:57] Narcissistic people tend to lack empathy, so they will do whatever pleases them the most, and not think about how that affects the people around them. There is a difference between narcissism and sociopathy, where narcissism tend to have intact remorse which may be brought out during treatment, but sociopaths are incapable of feeling empathy whatsoever. [24:46] Most men are problem solvers, and want to fix the problem they created. Their version of making things better may be radically different than how long it takes for their partner to heal from the hurt of their actions. [30:49] After a betrayal and initial trust is broken, it can never be the same again. Partners must rebuild together from the ground up, and it’s very similar to rebuilding a house from scratch.   RESOURCES Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Out of the Doghouse Out of the Doghouse for Christian Men Narcissus in Greek Mythology Tara LeMasters   QUOTES: “Narcissism implies that the externals is going to help determine how you think of me. Our culture certainly supports that.”   “An addict by definition is a narcissist.”   “Real empathy is not about you at all. It’s about understanding what others are going through as a result of how you treated them.”  

When Tara couldn't find the under apparel that she needed she designed it! This woman gives us a powerful narrative about the importance of persevering through many "No's" until you find your "YES!"   https://hookedupshapewear.com/    www.jodee-kenney.com Success Sisters Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1608991402492948/ 

Welcome back Story Tellers! Today’s main character is Tara James (@bymsjames).  When Tara was younger, her father would buy her greeting cards filled with black imagery and messaging she could relate to.  At the time, Tara felt the cards were "super corny," and never understood why giving her a card  with a black image gracing the cover and a message on the inside she could relate to, meant so much to her father. As is often the case, Tara's perspective has changed with time, particularly with the birth of her son. Like her father, Tara had a burning desire to recreate and (re)inspire others with positive and relatable images of black people.  By Ms James is a paper goods and greeting card company based on the real life experiences and adventures of Tara James. Like Tara, each card contains a funny, honest, quirky, lovable and extremely relatable message.  Her beliefs are her own but are shared with and by many.  I'm truly appreciative to Tara for calling  from her car, during her lunch break.  While the the reception was spotty at times but her overall message of taking action and making things happen is clear nonetheless.  During this fun and easygoing chat, Tara and I discussed: What prompted her to start a black themed paper and greeting card company Just getting started vs paralysis by analysis Balancing your career and your side hustle The mentor who challenges and helps hold Tara accountable to her business Consumer vs Producer mentality Throwing parties to raise money for her business Please Enjoy! visit kitodelgado.com for key key takeaways and links.

Welcome to my virtual therapy room!  I am Dr Lori Beth Bisbey and this is Sex Spoken Here.  Today I answer the question ‘What is being poly (a swinger, having an open relationship) really like?’ with relationship stories I have gathered over my years as a non-monogamist, as a therapist and as a coach.  Remember that this podcast deals with adult themes so if you don’t have privacy you might wish to put on your headphones.   Personally, I never understood why someone would expect one person to meet all of their needs.  It seemed to me that I could easily love more than one person at a time and that doing so meant that I got to have variety and a more stable support network.    But I grew up in a family with parents who were not only monogamous but my mother had never had a sexual relationship with anyone other than my father.  She met him at age 16 and they married when she was 18.  My grandmother (her mother) had three husbands and at least one other relationship and urged my mother to find her one man and stick with him.  My mother has often said that I am much like my grandmother and associated this with having a harder life and making poor choices.  Whereas I see this as having a rich life albeit with more complications than the average person coming from a heteronormative background.   I was actively encouraged to adopt my parents world view and to look for the one person I would ‘settle down with’ and have a family with.  For a variety of reasons, this didn’t appeal to me.   But the pressure was intense.  So much so, that I had a monogamous marriage as my first marriage.    Many of the people I have met, shared life with, interviewed and worked with over the past 37 years (I was 17 when I was in my first proper consensual non-monogamous relationship) have experienced the same pressure to conform to their family’s and society’s expectations.  AnnMarie has been a swinger for the past 25 years.  She was in a monogamous marriage when the subject first came up.   She and her husband had little exciting sex together.  She described it as their rhythms not matching.  She enjoyed leisurely sensual sex and he liked rough intense sex.  The lack of agreement made for sex that was less than satisfying for both of them.   She said they both always felt compromised which made her very sad.  AnnMarie said that they spoke of breaking up but that they got along in every other way so they both felt it would be wrong to do so.  At the same time, neither wanted to give up sex even though sex with each other didn’t work terribly well.   AnnMarie described looking through a local magazine that ran ads for escort workers, professional dominatrices and personal ads together trying to see if they could come up with something that would excite them both.  She said they came upon an ad for a swingers club.  ‘The place looked cool and we were excited reading the details.   We decided to try it that weekend.  We were so excited getting ready and it felt like it did when we first got together.  We made an agreement that we would only watch the first time and play with each other and off we went.    The night was amazing.  We had some of the best sex of our relationship when we got home so we decided to go again.  This time we agreed that we might ask another man to join us for some fun while we were there.  At first we didn’t meet anyone that either of us was interested in but after midnight, Roger arrived and it was like a spark hit both of us.   I hadn’t known that my husband always fantasised about sharing me with another man.  That night, he was able to act out the fantasy and we all had a great time.  One explosive orgasm after another.   And when we got home it was even better sex.   So that was when we became swingers.  After that,  we created our own ad for the magazine.  We joined our local swingers club. When the internet arrived, we created a profile on all the main swinger sites.  We went to the club twice a month at first.  Then we would go to the club once and get together privately with friends or go to a party once a month.  In the last few years, it has only been once a month as we have been busy with other things but we still love it.’   There are so many styles of consensual non-monogamy that it highlights how individual each relationship is.   John and Gregory met at a partner swapping party given by friends.  ‘Because when we met, we were each in semi-monogamous relationships, we didn’t really consider the possibility of getting together.   We had a great time and then followed the rules and said goodbye.  A month later we attended another party and rigged things so we ended up together again even though this was really against the rules.   We said goodbye again reluctantly and without the other one knowing, both of us ended our relationships within two weeks of that second party.  I got in touch with Greg a week afterward by email and told him how I felt about him.   He told me he felt the same so we got together for dinner which wound up with us having hot sex in the restaurant toilets and then going home together.  After a month we decided to come see you so that we could make sure we had good agreements about how our relationship would work.  We didn’t want to find ourselves splitting up because we made assumptions.’    John and Gregory saw me for 40 hours sex & intimacy coaching all told over about 6 months.   8 hours of that was individual work and the rest of the sessions were as a couple.  They spent the time looking at their expectations, creating clear agreements about communication, time spent together, relationship goals, other sexual relationships, boundaries and limits.  They tried out their agreements around non-monogamy during the work and then looked at how they felt.  Greg became jealous when John prioritised a date with someone new over their regular monthly poker game.  Greg worked on his feelings and they added an agreement about what type of things are prioritised for their relationship.  In this case, they agreed that the poker game was not to be prioritised in future.   When they moved in with each other one year after we finished the work, they came back to see me for 4 sessions to revisit some of their agreements in light of them living together.  John still wanted to make sure he had his alone time and so they agreed one night per week of separate time.  As neither of them had started other lasting relationships, this worked well.      Sometimes it is not possible to involved everyone who is romantically attached to the people seeking help in the work.  When Tara and Ruby came to see me they had been together two years.  Ruby had lived with Wendy for four years.  Tara had no other steady partners.  Wendy had been seeing Jeff for 18 months.  They came to see me because Tara did not manage Ruby’s relationship with Wendy well at all.  Tara wanted to get to know Wendy and any other partners that Ruby had as she said this made her feel safer.  Wendy did not want to meet Ruby’s other partners and they had an agreement that they would not meet each other’s paramours so Tara’s insistence on meeting Wendy in the future caused a problem for Ruby.      Tara started by saying ‘I feel less safe when I don’t know the other important people in my lover’s life.  I identify as polyamorous but I rarely have more than one partner at a time because I find it difficult to divide my time and attention.’  Ruby’s reply was ‘I feel pressured to push Wendy to change our agreement because you get so upset about me spending time with her.  I feel you do not respect my relationship with her which was there before you were.  I feel pressured to spend more time with you and devote more attention to you because when I do not, you become depressed.’    Though we invited Wendy to take part in this work, she was adamant that she did not want to meet Tara and that she wanted Tara to take a step back because the pressure was causing issues in her relationship with Ruby.   Ruby and Tara tried to negotiate a new agreement as to time and priorities in their relationship.  After a few months of this work, Tara admitted that she was not comfortable with a polyamorous relationship where the paramours and even metamours (the people that your paramour is involved with – Jeff is Ruby’s metamour because he is the lover of Wendy) did not know each other and so Tara and Ruby ended their relationship amicably.   Other times, people come in as a group to work on various aspects of their relationships.  When this happens, I often end up seeing different relationship combinations for some sessions, individuals for other sessions and the whole group for some sessions.  Robert, Lance and Maria came in to work with me in order to look at how expectations caused issues in their relationships with each other and to clarify and agree upon expectations.  Lance and Maria are married and at the time they came in to coaching they had been married for 15 years.  Robert was single at that time and had been involved with Maria for 2 years.  They originally met at a kink event and had some fun together.  Lance realised that Robert was very interested in Maria but not interested in him and so he stepped back and encouraged Robert and Maria to form their own relationship.  This worked well for the first 6 months and then the fractures began appearing.  Robert complained that Maria expected him to ‘drop everything’ when she was available to see him but that she always prioritised her relationship with Lance.  Lance complained that it felt like Maria prioritised her relationship with Robert.  Maria complained that both men expected her to be ‘at their beck and call’ and that they rarely paid attention to what she needed and wanted.  It quickly became clear that Robert waited around a lot for Maria to be available and that he tended not to plan things with friends or other possible lovers because he wanted to be there when Maria was free.  Though he initially saw this as Maria’s expectation of him, when he examined this further, he realised that it was his desire to have more time with Maria which meant that he chose to wait around in case she was free.  When she wasn’t free ‘enough’ he became upset and angry and blamed her for how he was feeling.  Robert and Maria made a clear agreement to see each other one evening/night per week.  Maria encouraged Robert to date other people and Robert agreed that he would try to do so.    Lance said he felt better having clear parameters as to when Robert and Maria would see each other.    Maria negotiated an additional day’/evening/night per week for herself with Lance and said that she might use this to date or she might use this as time for herself.     Lance still felt that Maria was prioritising her relationship with Robert but he was able to take responsibility for these feelings.  Robert and Lance had a session together to improve their communication.   When they left coaching, the separate relationships were going strong and the three even enjoyed some social time together.   Arman and Jenny have been married for 20 years.  After 15 years of marriage, they found their relationship was stagnant.  Arman and Jenny have always communicated well.  They talked to each other about being attracted to other people.  One evening, Jenny decided to tell Arman an erotic story.  She created a story in which she met someone on one of her business trips.  They both found this extremely hot and enjoyed the sex so much that the next day they began talking about how they might try this in reality.     They started by making some ground rules: 1 No giving out contact details to dates 2 One date only  3 No sleep overs 4 Dates only when away on trips 5 Safe sex only.  For the past 5 years they have enjoyed adding these spicy encounters to their sex life.  Arman says ‘The rules have made it possible for us to have variety without jealousy.  We still share each encounter.   We are having as much fun as we did when we began 20 years ago.’   I’d like to finish this podcast by answering a question sent in by Josh who asked whether ‘ ‘don’t ask don’t tell’  can work.  ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ is when a couple agrees that they can have occasional sexual encounters with others but that they will not tell each other about these encounters and they will not ask each other if they are having them.   For some couples this works well long term and for others this doesn’t work well at all.   Problems arise when evidence is discovered by the other partner that reminds them that their partner may be having sexual relationships with other people.  Other times the extra-couple sexual activity is highlighted because of a sexually transmitted infection, a poor choice for extra-couple partner (someone who telephones the home and is not willing to have a one night stand).   Couples who do this successfully usually limit the experiences to a certain number of times per year or when away from home or both.     Thanks for joining me this week for Sex Spoken Here with Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.  Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at drbisbey@the-intimacy-coach.com, follow me on twitter @drbisbey.  For a free 30 minute strategy session with me, go to www.the-intimacy-coach.com and click the button that says Schedule Now!  I look forward to seeing you next week for part 4 of this series.