A Life in Progress: Rebranding Middle Age

*I talk a tiny bit about grief in this episode, nothing deep. But head's up in case you're not in a place to hear any mention of this. You're imperfect. Life is messy. Show up anyway.In this episode I share 12 ideas or quotes that will help you practice hope-in-action or imperfect action and show up fully to life - even though it's messy and imperfect.Takeaways: Embracing our imperfections allows us to fully participate in the messiness of life, which is essential for personal growth and connection. Life inevitably presents us with challenges that often feel overwhelming, yet we must confront these imperfections and continue to show up with intention and courage. The journey of life is characterized by continual action and adaptation, rather than waiting for a perfect path to be revealed before making a move. Recognizing that our small contributions can effect change in our immediate environment empowers us to act despite feelings of inadequacy or overwhelm. Connect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

My guest today is Asha Frost. Asha is an Indigenous Medicine Woman, and the international best-selling author of You are the Medicine, The Sacred Medicine Oracle, and The Animal Elders Oracle Deck. *I've included my referral linksThough I ended up editing this out (for time) I shared with Asha how much I've used and benefitted from her Sacred Medicine Cards - I use them at every new and full moon as a tool as I listen inward for wisdom and direction. Connect with Asha: https://ashafrost.com/We talk about seasons of growing into our ourselves or "coming home to ourselves" and Asha shares a bit about her current season of life (which includes perimenopause and no more capacity for people-pleasing!). We talk about running soul-honouring businesses as highly sensitive humans living with chronic illness.And Asha shares a bit about what purpose means to her and how this ties to being a visible Indigenous Woman when so many Indigenous People historically did not have a voice and many still do not today. RESOURCESJoin the Brave + Beautiful Community for midlife women this spring: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressTrue Rest Through The Seasons (for midlife women who NEED to learn to rest!): True Rest Through The Seasons: Free Resource | A Life In ProgressConnect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

I love a fresh start! In early spring it is wise to focus first on freedom and recalibration and then, later, expansion and growth. We need to build healthy soil, a stable foundation, or put down healthy roots first because this is what prepares us for growth and expansion.In this episode I offer 5 ideas that you can explore this spring - I'm practicing with you.RESOURCESJoin the Brave + Beautiful Community for midlife women this spring: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressConnect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

My guest today, Kim Vopni - aka the Vagina Coach – is a Pelvic Floor Fitness & Women's Health Coach. She is the creator of the Buff Muff Method and Membership in which she provides education and exercise, lifestyle support and group coaching, to help women prevent & heal incontinence & prolapse. *My "likes" and "ums" were in full force in this episode - I needed to slow my thinking and speech. Hopefully it won't distract you from the wealth of information in this episode. This episode talks about why attending to our pelvic floor health is important to our resilience as women and to living big, full, amazing lives. We discuss common pelvic floor issues among midlife women including prolapse, vaginal drying/thinning, bladder leaks, and more.There is a lot we can do in terms of preventive care but the reality is that many of us in midlife and beyond did not receive the health education we needed to prevent or attend to some of our symptoms more quickly. It's never too late though. Whatever season of life we are in, we can take action to feel more empowered in our bodies and lives.Share this episode with your daughters, sisters, friends, and mom. Having brave conversations about our health improves quality of life for those we care about. And bringing some humor into the mix doesn't hurt;)RESOURCESConnect with Kim:https://www.instagram.com/vaginacoach/https://www.vaginacoach.com/podcastMy sister also recommends: https://www.instagram.com/vaginarehabdoctorJoin the Brave + Beautiful Community for midlife women this spring: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressMore about key components of resilience and resources to support your growth : Expand Your Capacity + Grow Your Resilience | A Life In ProgressConnect with Krista on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/Connect with Krista on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/And if you're moving away from social media, be sure to join my email community: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

I'm sharing a short presentation I offered recently as part of an online event called The Joy Reset. In the conversation I talk about True Rest in the midlife. Get the free True Rest resource that I refer to: True Rest Through The Seasons: Free Resource | A Life In ProgressI have coaching spaces opening up. Learn more: Coaching for Midlife Women Seeking Freedom, Wholeness, and joy

We grow into the wisdom, bravery, and strength that we need for each new season. We don't need to worry forward, compare, or judge ourselves for not knowing all the answers for our whole life.Not everything – not every core dream – is for today or this season. Not every task on the weekly to-do list must be checked off Monday morning (something I actually had to learn!). We are not in a race. Western culture gives us a sense of always being behind or in competition with each other.There is incredible rest, peace, and joy in pulling our hearts and minds back to this day and the work of this season.Three Core Dreams For My Soul-Honouring Life | A Life In ProgressIn the True Rest Resource, I've provided a description of some common challenges and invitations of each season of midlife (autumn or your 40s, winter or late perimenopause through the menopause transition, second spring or your 50s, and summer or your 60s into your early 70s).Then I provide one page per season of examples of the different types of rest you most need in that season. You might want to play with different types of rest as you move through the seasons of each year as well as through the seasons of your life.Get the free True Rest Resource: True Rest Through The Seasons: Free Resource | A Life In Progress

I share a practice that is essential for befriending and growing into your True Self and walking in freedom, wholeness, and joy. It also supports your resilience and helps you practice hope-in-action.I'd love to hear what comes up for you. You can reach out at krista@alifeinprogress.ca. Three Core Dreams For My Soul-Honouring Life | A Life In ProgressWhat Is Hope? And How To Practice Hope-In-Action | A Life In ProgressHow To Handcraft A Soul-Honouring life Step-By-Step | A Life In ProgressRead to work together? Coaching for Midlife Women Seeking Freedom, Wholeness, and joy

My guest Heidi Barr is a writer and wellness coach whose work is founded on a commitment to cultivating ways of being that are life-giving and sustainable for people, communities, and the planet. She lives with her family on Dakota land in rural Minnesota. Her ninth book, a poetry collection called Church of Shadow and Light comes out in April, 2025. Connect with Heidi at https://heidibarr.com/ or Ordinary Collisions: Intersections of Nature & Culture | Heidi Barr | Substack.None of us are immune to struggle or challenging seasons of life. 2024 was one of the hardest years ever for my guest and her family. Heidi shares some of the simple things that keep her feeling anchored, and what brings her joy or lights her up. We talk about how she is makes space for her creative work amid the messiness of life. And Heidi shares a couple of her poems with us.What are some tiny, intentional practices that feel life-giving to YOU in this season? ---One of the biggest issues I see when people set goals or have a dream but struggle to bring it to fruition is that they don't have the basic scaffolding in place to support them in their day to day. They may know WHAT they want and even WHY they want it (though this is less common).But they struggle with HOW to translate a dream or goal into practical action.On Feb 19 I'm offering a workshop to help you craft a soul-honouring weekly rhythm. This week only $17 (increases each week).Connect with me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/alifeinprogressca and https://www.facebook.com/rebrandingmiddleage/Connect with me on IG: https://www.instagram.com/a_life_in_progress/Or come on over to my website to do some reading/exploring: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/12 Tiny Things: Simple Ways to Live a More Intentional Life by Heidi Barr and Ellie Roscher

Turning toward or facing our wounds, fear, pain or struggle can lead us into healing and growth. But it can also reveal our deepest gifting, our light, some of the most beautiful and valuable aspects of our who we are.In this episode I share with you 5 habits that helped me live rooted and resilient through crisis and personal challenge - but that also help me in the day-to-day of being human in a messy world.Identify how you want to FEEL in your body and life: How Do You Want To FEEL In Your Body And Life?Identify your core values: How To Figure Out Your Core Values |The Goal Setting Workshop: Goal Setting Workshop | A Life In ProgressLive On Purpose Workshop: Live On Purpose Workshop: Free Until Jan 18/25 | A Life In ProgressSign up for the Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

The messiness of life is not only to be tolerated or managed. It is the pathway to greater freedom, wholeness, and joy. It is the pathway to growing into and learning to love your True Self and to thriving in every season.In this episode I share 3 characteristics of wise and brave 'beginners' - or qualities that help us show up with strength when life is challenging.I also offer the reminder that a healthy (flexible, adaptable, resilient) nervous system is forged through some stress, stretching, and even harder life experiences.The Four Tendencies quiz: The Four Tendencies Quiz | Gretchen RubinWhat is hope-in-action: What Is Hope? And How To Practice Hope-In-Action | A Life In ProgressSign up for my Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress

I said I enjoy long podcast episodes but this is a first, even for me;) Today I chat with guest Amy J Brown. We talk, among other things, about parenting kids with "extra needs" (or invisible disabilities) and how common it is to feel shame and judgment (external and internal) when parenting is challenging. We also talk about honouring our boundaries and using our gifts in the "empty nest season." And we discuss perfectionism and being Enneagram Type Ones and how we learned quite different coping mechanisms as young kids.I met Amy when she hired me as a coach. We worked together 1:1 for 18 months and then she spent a year inside my Brave + Beautiful Community. She shares a bit about what she learned or life-giving benefits from our work together. Learn how we can work together: Work With Me | A Life In ProgressAmy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast Take Heart. She is the author of the book “The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the Messy, Emotional, and Joy-Filled Life of a Special Needs Mom.” Amy has a Master's Degree in Spiritual Formation and Leadership. She shares honestly about adoption and parenting children with mental health issues and trauma. She is the mother of six children. She lives with her husband in Michigan. You can find more about Amy at her website, www.amyjbrown.com. Tomorrow is the final day to get the New year Goal Setting Workshop free as part of your membership in the Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

Why you need to practice soul-care in winter seasons: Why You Need To Practice Soul-Care In Winter Seasons | A Life In ProgressWinter Mindfulness Journal: https://amzn.to/3DcDlgjSeasonal Transition Call: The Seasonal Transition Call: Step Into Winter A Life In ProgressJoin winter session of the Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressJoin by Dec 20th and you'll get this workshop free: New Year Goal Setting Workshop | A Life In Progress

No.8 in my list, of how I'm practicing honouring my wiring and capacity, may just save my marriage;) Let me know how YOU are practicing!New Year Goal Setting Workshop (half price for 2 more days!): New Year Goal Setting Workshop | A Life In ProgressShift out of all or nothing mindset: Just Choose All or Something | A Life In ProgressSeasonal Transition Call: Join The winter Solstice Call: Dec 11

Bonus episode: I decided to share day 3 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge with you because It aligns with the topic of honouring our wiring and capacity.Join me on January 3/25 to for a New-Year Goal Setting Workshop. Come set your values-aligned life and business goals and start mapping them out for the first quarter. This workshop is free for all returning and new Brave + Beautiful Community members who join before December 20th. Or you can buy the new year goal setting workshop for just $97 the week of Nov 25-29!

Western culture promotes a linear, constantly productive, ‘more and faster is better' way of being. it makes us live like we're in a race: if you win, I lose. If you're accomplishing good things then I must be behind.This way of being not only leads to burnout, illness, increased risk of suicidality, emotional and spiritual dissatisfaction, and constant self-judgment. But it blames the individual for not measuring up and keeping up.As such, it leaves many of us feeling never good enough or fundamentally bad, wrong, or broken if we're unable to sustain this unrealistic and unhealthy standard.In this episode I talk about the importance of diversity and flexibility to individual and Communal resilience. And I share 13 ideas to help you practice honouring your wiring and capacity in this season.LINKS/RESOURCESLast day to sign up is Friday, Nov 15: Join The Quiet The Noise Challenge: Nov 18-22 | A Life In ProgressBe proud of yourself: 3 Important Questions To Add To Your Evening Routine | A Life In ProgressThe 13 ideas: Why You Need To Honour Your Wiring And Capacity | A Life In ProgressNo Bad Parts: Healing trauma and restoring wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model , Richard Schwartz: https://amzn.to/4hLx5vyWhy the World Doesn't End: tales of renewal in times of loss, Michael Meade: https://amzn.to/4hKbGmz

In this solo episode I talk about being a Questioner and 'wrestler.' One who must grapple with things in order to make peace with life or the circumstance in front of me, and find my way forward. If I lived full time in grief or pain, or in the grappling process, this would hold me back from living fully and thriving forward. But resistance itself is not wrong or bad. It's part of the grief process. The letting go process. Coming to terms with things really and truly. Not just shoving down our feelings or pain and pretending all is well.If you're in a season of needing to let go of the life you wanted to embrace the one you have, I share 5 truths to help you honour your process, move at a soul-honouring pace, and offer yourself compassion each step of the way.Read the blog post: Let Go Of The Life You Wanted And Embrace The One You HaveSign up for the free Quiet the Noise Challenge: Join The Quiet The Noise Challenge: Nov 18-22 | A Life In Progress

Midlife is a great unraveling and re-envisioning/reconstructing. It's a time of hard and brave work and this work (if we are able to say yes to it) takes us deeper and deeper into freedom and joy (though this does not mean joy feels accessible in every moment). We are invited repeatedly to come face to face with reality, grapple with all our expectations and illusions about how life should be and how it will be if we follow the right rules and jump through all the right hoops…. when it turns out that life is not quite so controllable. I have been brought to my knees over and over. I'm happy today to welcome two guests to join me for a conversation around Letting go of the life you wanted and embracing the one you have.” We talk about addiction, grief, perimenopause/autumn seasons, and more.Dr. Mikala Albertson is a board-certified family practice doctor, author, and well-being advocate who is passionate about women's health and healing in the imperfect bodies we actually have. She's the author of the books Ordinary on Purpose and her new release Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife. Mikala inspires readers every day to stop striving for “perfect” lives or some unattainable cultural ideal of “beauty and wellness” and instead aim for wholehearted living through a gentle, achievable, sustainable approach.Connect with Mikala: https://www.mikalaalbertsonmd.com/Jennifer Arnspiger is a Certified Somatic Trauma Integration Coach, INFJ Empath and Somatic Writing Coach for deeply sensitive women. She is highly sensitive, emotionally intense and passionate about honoring what our bodies have been through and the stories and emotions they hold. Jennifer has been a trauma-informed writing coach for 7 years and helps deeply sensitive womxn resolve somatic trauma and come home to their bodies through writing - with private coaching, self-paced writing courses and intimate writing circles.Connect with Jennifer: https://www.jenniferarnspiger.comCome connect with me over at https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/ or on Instagram.We talk about my Hope Map Graphic and the seasons we're in. You can find my graphic on my home page: Befriend Your True Self and (Re)Claim Freedom, Wholeness + JOY (alifeinprogress.ca)

*Heads up: there's swearing in this episode.In today's conversation, I'm joined by two guests: Anno Bell and Chantal Gauthier-Vaillancourt. We talk about the messiness of middle age and how our thinking has shifted or how we've grown and healed so far in midlife. And we chat about joyful aging (and Chantal bravely shares about her current experience).Anno Bell is an exuberant lover of all things wild, and a sensitive soul that creates beautiful things out of scraps of glass, vintage trailers and old pieces of fence board. She is mama to four humans and works as a both a birth and postpartum doula and a breath facilitator. She hopes through her work and play in the world to bring folks a deep sense of being seen and heard, and a safe space where they can be compassionately witnessed and supported in their journeys. Anno turned 50 in March of this year and is so far equally enthralled and challenged by this season. Her new website is in development but you can connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cedartreecoachingWith two decades of dedicated service in the holistic health field, Chantal Gauthier-Vaillancourt worked 8 years as massage therapist, nearly 6 as a certified doula, and then 12 years as a Registered Midwife. She has attended over 500 births, witnessing the beautiful miracle of new life with its strength and fragility firsthand. Being a primary care provider has granted her the privilege of accompanying women during this vulnerable and transformative time in their lives. Chantal has recently released a podcast and a new website in order to offer an online program she is co-created for expectant families called A Peaceful Gestation with the hopes of reaching more people who may not have the Prenatal care they want or need. On a personal level, she has grown and learned major life lessons while thriving through cancer twice. She is a devoted wife and a mother to two sweet children who (mostly) bring her joy. Connect with her here: https://apeacefulgestation.comRESOURCESThe Brave + Beautiful Community: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressHow I honestly used to think and what changed for the better: How I Honestly Used To Think And What Changed For The Better | A Life In Progress

I'm firmly in my messy middle season of life and it's been a season of stretching, stripping away, meeting and befriending my True Self (or finally growing into my True Self). The past 13 years have also invited me deeper and deeper into freedom and joy. Greater freedom is one of the most important gifts of middle age.I care about Joyful living in every season – even the hardest of them. Choosing to allow joy into our lives amid heartache, struggle, uncertainty, and general life messiness is hard and brave work. I've done my share of hard and brave work. This is, of course, why I focus so much on the practice of making peace with messiness to make space for joy in our body and life. I emphasize the practice part. It's an ongoing commitment and some days are way harder than others.In this episode I discuss:What Rebranding Middle Age MeansHow I define middle ageWhat I mean when I talk about joyJoyful aging is simply part of joyful living in every seasonI believe joyful aging begins in our 40s, 50s, and 60s2 key things that support joyful aging and joyful living and these are things that we an work on or have a measure of control aroundLetting go of attachment to the past or to our old dreams is essential if we want to thrive forward or live joyfullyResources:Why You Need to Rebrand Middle Age to Live Joyfully: Why You Need To Rebrand Middle Age To Live Joyfully | A Life In ProgressJoin the Brave + Beautiful Community Autumn Session: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressSign up for the Monday morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In ProgressBook by Dr. Gladys McGarey: The Well-Lived Life: A 103-Year-Old Doctor's Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age.You'll find my Hope Map Graphic on this page: Befriend Your True Self and (Re)Claim Freedom, Wholeness + JOY (alifeinprogress.ca)

If we shift our focus from creative product or outcome to creative process, then it's easier to understand that we are all inherently creative. We can stop comparing, judging, or fighting our unique creative process and instead hone it. Or at least trust it, so that we're able to use it to bring our vision or dreams to life.Furthermore, I'd love us to release the idea that creativity is only about problem solving or attaining a precise end-goal (attachment to outcome). I see living creatively – or handcrafting a brave and beautiful life – as a process. A choice to honour the beauty and wisdom of every season. A process of learning to trust ourselves and become our most honest and healed/integrated selves. A journey that is above all about experiencing the world and life more than about producing or consuming.In this episode I share:A four stage process of creative breakthroughs and moments of insight.An example of how this operates in my life and why this was soooo affirming for me.Who might have a harder time trusting this process.How focusing on process over product or attachment to specific outcome lowers anxiety, increases joy, and helps us develop self-trust.Life visioning and taking the longer view - and thinking of our whole lives as a creative process.And I refer to 12 lies that keep us from a creative life.In the episode blog post I link to a scientifically validated assessment that measures four types of skills that help people express their creativity - and share more nerdy science. :)Thanks for being here with me - enjoy your summer!krista xo

My guest Julie and I talk openly about many common midlife experiences including:We speak about menopause, suicidal thoughts, and also how it can be hard in times of darkness to reach out for support.Empty nest can feel really hard and can include a lot of sadness or grief.Shifting from the story “I am flawed” to self-compassion and greater self-love.Many of us seek deeper connection but have a rejection wound. Yet deep connection requires being ourselves rather than masking.Walk toward what lights you up. Having a life vision can help us move toward what brings us joy.We need to learn to hear our inner voice and develop self-trust. Many of us get earnest about this in our 40s or autumn season of life.We talk about a guide (coming soon) “understanding autism in sensitive women.” For now, check out these resources for autistic HSPs.Julie Bjelland is an LMFT, a Licensed Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity and adult-diagnosed autism in women. Her passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressConnect with Krista on IGConnect on FB: A Life in Progress and/or Rebranding Middle Age

Today's guests, Kathy Escobar and Phyllis Mathis, have been soul friends for almost two decades and are the hosts of the Soul + Practice podcast dedicated to raw conversations and real practices. Their work is centered on healthier human-ing and making it in this weird world. Phyllis did this as a therapist for many years and now is a life coach and author of The Subversive Soul: The Gentle Revolution Everyone Needs. And Kathy is a non-profit leader and community cultivator and author of several books, including Practicing: Changing Yourself to Change the World. More at kathyescobar.com and phyllismathis.com. In our conversation we talk about play - how play is about motivation more than behaviour - and what that looks like for each of us as an Enneagram 2 (Kathy), 9 (Phyllis), and 1 (me). I invited each of them to take a short quiz to discover their "play personality"' which is based on the work of Dr. Stuart Brown. You can take the quiz here: Understanding your Play Style - LindsayBraman.com.We also talk about what it means to each of us to "live on purpose" midlife and beyond. In the summer session of the Brave + Beautiful Community, members will be invited to explore their own sense of purpose, how to thrive and feel alive, and we'll do some dreaming/visioning for our lives. Learn more here: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressSign up for the Monday Morning Hope Map:Connect with Krista on IGConnect on FB: A Life in Progress and/or Rebranding Middle Age

Thanks for being here and listening. I appreciate you.Grieving the Loss of a Parent: Episode 191: Grieving the Loss of A Parent with Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui — Julie BjellandThriving Through and Beyond Grief as an HSP: Episode 180: Thriving Through and Beyond Grief as a Highly Sensitive Person — Julie BjellandSee you next week,Krista xo

I believe that there is wisdom and beauty to be mined in every season – even the hardest of them. Do you want to live fully present and scan for the wisdom and beauty already present in your life?What are the simple everyday gifts of your life in this season? Savor them.What is your current growth edge? Look for one way each day or week to move forward in this area.What are you curious about right now? What stretches and excites you? Give yourself permission to follow your train of curiosity without holding tightly to outcome.What dreams or ideas are arising even if they feel impossible in the moment? Can you give yourself permission to name them or own them without judgment or needing to know how to bring them to life?Letting go so we continue to grow requires a willingness to let go of what used to be to make space for what's next. This includes letting go of the beauty of a past season and unfulfilled dreams or expectations. And in many cases it involves releasing unforgiveness or pain so that we are free to keep living fully and thriving in every season.Furthermore, this process requires giving ourselves permission to quit, pivot, change course, and change our mind. And it usually involves a lot of truth-telling about the current state of our health, relationships, how we're valuing ourselves, and more.Sign up for the Reignite Your Creativity Workshop: Dream, Expand, Express Yourself: Reignite Your Creativity Workshop (alifeinprogress.ca)Connect on Instagram: Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui | Joyful Living Educator (@a_life_in_progress) • Instagram photos and videosSeasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In Progress

In this episode I welcome my friend Betsy Huggins as a guest to the Rebranding Middle Age podcast. Betsy and I have been friends for years and we've collaborated on various projects including my Seasonal Mindfulness Journals. Betsy is autistic and lives with FND (Functional Neurological Disorder). Part of her experience is that she can struggle with sensory regulation. When her nervous system is overloaded she may experience facial tremors, a stammer, and/or tics. One of my key takeaways from our conversation is how she's shifting her focus away from trying to find a 'fix' for her condition and instead learning how to find safety in her body/nervous system exactly as she is.Betsy shares a story that she has needed to rewrite for herself. She shares openly about how difficult it can be as a neurodivergent human to own her value in a culture that celebrates constant productivity and performance. We also talk about how she expresses her creativity in this season of her life.Connect with Betsy on Instagram: Betsy Huggins (@betsy.huggins) • Instagram photos and videosBetsy on Substack: Tiny Giant | Betsy Huggins | SubstackKrista on Instagram: Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui | Joyful Living Educator (@a_life_in_progress) • Instagram photos and videosSign up for the Reignite Your Creativity Workshop: Dream, Expand, Express Yourself: Reignite Your Creativity Workshop (alifeinprogress.ca)

*Note that there's a swear in this episode in case you have little people around. Also Kate's sound quality is a bit warbly at times but doesn't hinder the conversation.I'm delighted to welcome my first guest to the podcast! Kate Codrington is a mentor, author, speaker, facilitator, artist and podcaster. She's the author of Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause, and her second book, The Perimenopause Journal, will be out September 2024 (Find her full bio here.) Kate and I had a conversation about this season's theme "Old stories. New possibilities."Kate shares about the season she's in as, at 58 yo, she moves closer to Second Summer. She shares what this feels like in her body, life, and work of this season. We also talk about staying in discomfort and how the work of this season prepares us for what's next.She shares her observation that in the wellness industry or those of us working online often feel pressure to project an idealized version of life and self.She shares about her current growth edge which is having courage to trust in the liminal spaces. And also allowing her insides (or her full inner truth/Self) a more honest expression in conversation and community.and more!LINKS/RESOURCESKate's Free resource library: https://mailchi.mp/a8a0fa08678a/resource-library Kate's Website: https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/ Kate on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kate_codrington/ Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Who is writing or telling the stories of your life?We all have stories playing out in our life, many unconscious, others that we are aware of yet believe or receive without examination. Most are rooted in conditioning of culture, religion, family of origin – or they may go further back.If we want to walk in freedom, wholeness, and joy, we must do the work to open up to a new hopeful and joyful possibility. We need to question or examine the stories we believe about life, Self, our value, what we require for happiness, etc. We need to wake up to our all or nothing thinking, the ways we set limits on ourselves, or how we constantly raise the bar and then judge ourselves as less than.When we've been living out a story for decades (ex. I'm not good enough) it can feel impossible to change things up. But often all we need to do is to crack ourselves open even a tiny bit to a new hopeful or joyful possibility. We can always write a new story for our life.This season of the Rebranding Middle Age Podcast will focus on the theme of “Old stories. New possibilities.”In this introductory episode I invite you to show up curious as you listen in and engage with the ideas offered over the next few months and notice what shows up for you. Maybe this is the season to unravel your story of “I'm not good enough” or “I can't trust anyone.” Or perhaps your story sounds more like “I don't have what it takes” or “I'm fundamentally flawed – bad, wrong, and broken.” (see episode page for more info)

As we wrap up this season and prepare for the next season's theme of "Old stories. New Possibilities" I remind you about a practice I have that helps us walk in greater freedom, wholeness, and joy.I share about the cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action that anchors my work and life. And I share about the "Shift Your Experience" model/exercise that you can use when an old unhelpful story rises to the surface asking to be heard.As always, I'm practicing with you and I share a few recent (honest and vulnerable) examples from my life where old stories that have been at play in my life/behaviour/relationships came to the surface. Because I waws able to 'see' them, I was then able to begin writing new stories that will help me thrive forward.If you'd love some modeling and support learning to walk in greater freedom, come join the Brave + Beautiful Community! Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In ProgressOr learn how we can work together privately: Coaching for Midlife Women who Choose A Brave and Joyful Life (alifeinprogress.ca)

Freedom is one of my core 5 values. It's also one of my top 2 values. As a personal value, what freedom means to me (us) as individuals can vary season to season. It needs to be personal and precise. We need to reevaluate and reorient on occasion for it to be a meaningful source of direction or a meaningful filter.This week, I've been listening inward and asking myself: What does Freedom look, sound, and feel like for ME in this current season of my life? How am I practicing freedom? How am I walking it out in concrete ways? Where am I not in freedom? What precisely is interfering? Where am I holding onto old stories, habits, feelings that pull me out of freedom throughout the day?I heard a quote this morning that aligned with where my mind and heart have been. “Life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free.” -Peter CroneIn this episode, in addition to talking about ways I'm seeking more freedom in a few specific relationships, I also share other ways that I'm practicing greater freedom in this season of my life - in finances, in my mind-body health, in my healing work, and more. In addition, I share briefly about 3 different conflict styles or "social stances." Understanding our dominant stance, and recognizing that of others we're in relationship with, can be a huge help when it comes to practicing healthier, embodied conflict.Links/ResourcesAs of today there are 9 spaces left in the Spring Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community!: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress.

Happy spring! If you want to quiet the noise and practice a kinder way of being in your body and life, one of the most impactful choices you can make is to begin practicing Seasonal Living. There are, of course, many paths to wholeness, and many paths to a brave and beautiful life, but a seasonal living framework is one of the things that I know to be hugely impactful and empowering in life. It's a way to help us thrive and experience more joy in every season. I began my seasonal living journey with menstrual cycle tracking in my early to mid-30s - and pretty quickly this changed my experience of life. I no longer felt buffeted about by hormonal shifts, changing moods, ebb and flow of energy. I began to understand what was happening in my body and the connection with my emotional state. It was here that my self-awareness soared and then I was able to become more proactive - I could plan accordingly. Over the years my practice deepened and today I practice different layers of Seasonal Living. But today, we'll talk about using each seasonal shift throughout the year to look up (reorient and recalibrate), look in (slow downward to listen inward), and look around (make practical shifts or updates to our life) to support our overall wellbeing.Links/ResourcesGuided life visioning process: A Guided Life Visioning Process | A Life In ProgressPurposeful Printable Pack: Enjoy The Purposeful Printable Pack | A Life In Progress52 Mondays Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In ProgressWhat's a Spring Season? What Is An Inner Spring Season? (How To Thrive In Spring Seasons) (alifeinprogress.ca)Join the Brave + Beautiful Community spring session: Join the Brave + Beautiful Community For Midlife Women | A Life In Progress

In 2016 I wrote a short post that went viral around the world. It clearly touched something deep in many people. Here's one tiny snippet from that post that I want to talk about today: "What if I embrace my limitations and stop railing against them. Make peace with who I am and what I need and honor your right to do the same."SHOW NOTESPart of the conversation about embracing our limitations is really a conversation about what determines our worth. What are your markers of success or value? I do not believe our value and worth are tied up in self-improvement (or performing or jumping through hoops). When we stop railing against the reality of life, and we make peace with the full truth of who and how we are, beautiful things begin to grow.I also talk about the story that bigger is better and that many people believe a 'small life' is bad or less-than. 'Small' or 'big' aside, what I care about is if our life is values-aligned. If we're building a soul-honouring and sustainable life. A right-sized life. One way to deepen self-trust and have your own back is by honoring or embracing your limitations. When we befriend our whole selves we are more able to recognize where we have leaky boundaries, we are intentional about who and what gets our limited resources, we fill up and pour out from a healthy place, we learn to truly value ourselves, We live with more impact and joy. But the conversation doesn't stop here. When I talk about embracing our limitations, I also encourage us to embrace our strengths and gifts. We are both strength and struggle, tangled up together. This too is part of the work of quieting the noise and befriending ourselves - the fullness of who and how we are. LINKS/RESOURCESFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista - learn more here.Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: People on the waitlist get first option to join starting March 4th then early registration will open up and run March 11-22.

Relationships in middle age can be messy. They take work and nurturing at every stage of life. But in middle age - yikes! If you're growing, healing, becoming your most honest and integrated Self... this will affect your relationships. And this is as it should be. SHOW NOTESHealthy and brave relationships and community are so important to our health and wellbeing. But because they take work and we may at times feel like we're doing things so imperfectly or ungracefully, it can be tempting to withdraw or quit trying. But it's worth committing to ongoing skill-building and practice in this area.But being messy and imperfect, in progress, is not a reason to give up. In fact, there is no other path forward. When things feel messy and challenging I like to remind myself "of course you don't know how to do this yet; you've never been here before!" LINKS/RESOURCESFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Embody a new story for your life: read here.Last chance to join the Make Space for Joy Workshop for free: sign up.Join the Brave + Beautiful Community: click here.

We all need rest, probably more than we're getting. Expanding our view of rest beyond naps or Netflixing is helpful and life-giving! Perhaps what you most need right now is sensory rest or creative rest. Or maybe it's lowering the bar and being kinder to yourself.SHOW NOTESThis is a two-part conversation about rest – you can listen to part one here. In part two of the conversation I talk about the How of rest using my handcrafting a life vision worksheet (below) as a guide. NOT the how as in specific forms of rest (see the Rest Worksheets for that), but more how can we make space for rest or get creative and more flexible about rest.I'm often surprised that most people I connect with have not heard of Dr. Saundra Dalton's “7 Types of Rest.” In the worksheets (see below to get them for free), I add an 8th type – friendship with self – because befriending myself has been the greatest source of deep, abiding rest for me. Without this, no amount of other forms of rest can resolve the underlying sense of never being good enough, or the resulting striving and jumping through hoops to prove our worth, that so many people live with.In this episode I share ideas to consider when exploring HOW you might make space for more rest in your life – whatever season you're in, including the hardest of them. To get started, I share The 10 Commandments of Rest from REST, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang.LINKS/RESOURCESFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.Learn more about my Life Visioning Process.Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista – learn more here.Permission To Rest, Recalibrate and get resourced | A Life In ProgressGet the Rest Worksheets here (free): 8 Types Of Rest: Free Worksheets | A Life In ProgressRegister below for the new Joy Workshop coming early March or learn more here. And you can also buy part one here. Free registration for the new workshop runs Feb 19-March 1.

In a culture that idolizes productivity, it can feel countercultural to make rest an essential part of our life and goals. But when we prioritize rest, we cultivate creativity, increase productivity, and we live more joyfully. In REST: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less, Alex Soojung-Kim Pang writes "Discoveries in sleep research, psychology, neuroscience, organizational behavior, sports medicine, sociology, and other fields have given us a wealth of insight into the unsung but critical role that rest plays in strengthening the brain, enhancing learning, enabling inspiration, and making innovation sustainable."I would also argue that we have a right to rest simply because it's a human need and we matter, not only as a means to any end goal. Yoga Nidra teacher and author of Daring of Rest, Karen Brody writes “We take rest like a pill for productivity. Let us rest without an agenda.” This can feel difficult because of the cultural conditioning and story that our worth is tied to our level of productivity.SHOW NOTES: WHY DON'T YOU REST?In part one of this conversation I talk about the Why and What of rest using my handcrafting a life vision worksheet (below) as a guide. Do you see yourself in one of these 12 reasons that (collective) we don't rest?Guilt, shame, judgment - ex. "It's lazy to rest / I'm lazy" Conditioning that tells us our value is tied to (constant) productivity or being immersed in 'more-and-faster-is-better' or hustle-cultureComparison - ex. "other people have it worse / can't rest so I shouldn't" You're in an extremely hard season, hard circumstances, and you're doing your best to survive or pay the billsTrauma - it doesn't feel safe to rest... (head to episode page for the full list!)LINKS/RESOURCESFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map | A Life In Progress.Learn more about my Life Visioning Process.Learn how to work 1:1 with Krista - learn more here.Permission To Rest, Recalibrate and get resourced | A Life In ProgressGet on my email list to get free access to the new Joy Workshop coming early March. You can buy part one here. Registration for the new workshop runs Feb 19-March 1.

There's an African Proverb that goes like this "When death finds you, may it find you alive."SHOW NOTES: DO YOU FEEL FULLY ALIVE?I've been thinking about this a lot - am I living fully alive? What does this look, sound, feel like in my body and life? As I was pondering this morning, these 6 characteristics came up for me (I expand upon them in the conversation).I feel fully alive when...I allow myself to feel.I pause between impulse and response.I am present in my day-to-day.I show up as my True Self and walk out my values.I honour my true capacity and do my own healing work/pour in.I flex and stay open to the wisdom and beauty of each new season.LINKS/RESOURCESFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In ProgressSpring is coming! Seasonal Mindfulness Journals: 52 Mondays: Seasonal Mindfulness Journals | A Life In ProgressThe Enneagram: Exploring The Enneagram: You're More Than A Number | (alifeinprogress.ca)How To Meet and Befriend Your True Self | A Life In Progress

To live on purpose - to handcraft a brave and beautiful life - to be anchored in the storms of life - you need deep roots. We grow deep roots through conscious, consistent effort or 'watering' over time. SHOW NOTESIn this episode I use three examples of women somewhere in the middle season of life, and a situation they are grappling with. I walk through a cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action to offer examples of how they might respond to the situation in front of them to thrive forward and continue building a soul-honouring life. You may not relate to these specific examples, of course, but you can try out this cycle yourself. As if you do so with consistency, you'll water these roots and, I trust, feel the lasting benefits.My Hope Map Graphic includes this cycle of self-awareness, self-compassion, and imperfect action (see center of graphic on my site) that, as a practice, helps us put down deep roots that hold us fast in the storm. Just keep in mind, that the first two roots without the third will not move you forward. For a brave and beautiful life, or a values-aligned and soul-honouring life, we must build the root of imperfect action through consistent practice (or watering). We find our way in action, not before. We grow into our wisdom, bravery, and strength as we go. One small step and then another.LINKS/RESOURCESFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In ProgressGet to Know Yourself: 10 Ideas To Deepen Your Self-Awareness (alifeinprogress.ca)Self-Compassion Will Help You Become Your Own Best Friend | (alifeinprogress.ca)Make Peace with Paradox + Practice Imperfect Action | A Life In Progress

A common experience that comes up in my work is grief and self-judgment when a client or community member feels that they have gone backwards in their growth. But we can't go backwards; it's impossible. We may feel like we've circled back to an old wound, or to something we believed we had already learned, once and for all. But we are all in progress and we need repetition to truly move a new truth from head into heart and then deeper into the body until it lives in our bones or becomes embodied truth. We travel deeper, not wider. Life is more circular than linear. We learn how to practice a new skill or pattern in new circumstances. We take it to the next level. But we don't go backwards. SHOW NOTESWe're all simply practicing. We're all in progress, going deeper not wider. There's so much pain and shame when we believe the story that we 'should' be better/different/further along than exactly where we are. This keeps us stuck in unhelpful patterns and robs us of living awake and present to the very real - imperfect and beautiful - reality in front of us.With each repetition or encounter with a particular struggle/skill, we deepen our roots and our wisdom grows too. And as we go deeper, slow and steady, we encounter True Self hidden beneath layers of hurt, trying to get our needs met, and behavioral patterns constructed to help us feel safe and loved in this messy world. All the work we've done to get to this place in our journey, none of it is wasted. It's all here with us as we face this new season or circumstance.In this episode I share four gifts that come from accepting that we're all simply practicing and help us shift from shame or despair into agency.LINKS/RESOURCESFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Join the Monday Morning Hope Map: Sign Up For The Monday Morning Hope Map (+50% off coupon code) | A Life In Progress

Every single woman I know, and each woman I work with, benefits from regular, gentle reminders to pause and name what she is already doing well. To be proud of herself and name all the ways she regularly shows up with strength and bravery.Life is messy and we need to remember that perfection is not required.I certainly need regular check-points or invitations to do this for myself. It's so easy to see all the things I want to do better, the problems that need resolving, goals that need mapping out, people to love, and so on. But when we take time to see that we are already doing well – to see our strengths and not only our struggle – then we are able to show up to life with resilience and (more often) joy.SHOW NOTESThank yourself for all of your hard, meaningful, brave work. Be proud of yourself!Regular checkpoints like at the end of each day (using my 3/2/1 exercise), at the end of each of week/month/season, and once or twice a year for a year-in-review process help us build this powerful practice into our lives. It won't happen by accident.Healthy community matters. The people you spend time with, the voices you listen to, all influence the ways that you speak to yourself, treat yourself, and how you show up to the fullness of your life. Choose your inner circles, in particular, wisely.Spend some time deepening your roots of self-awareness and self-compassion with these 17 prompts (on my website - see link below).LINKS/RESOURCESJoin the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (registration ends January 12th!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In ProgressFree 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In ProgressFind Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Circle of impact: The Simple But Uncommon Boundary Tip You've Likely Never Considered + A Circle of Impact Exercise | A Life In Progress3/2/1 exercise: 3 Important Questions I Recommend Adding To Your Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca) and this episode shares more about the practice: Practice Self-Compassion Like Your Life Depends Upon It (alifeinprogress.ca)17 prompts: Take Some Time To Be Proud of Yourself | A Life In Progress

Home is sacred. A safe and loving home creates a sense of safety and security in this noisy and often challenging world. Home is a mental-health issue. That is, lack of affordable housing contributes to struggles with what we think of as mental health (but mental health doesn't stand apart from all other forms of health). It's important to me to feel safe, at home, and joyful in my body, home, and life.SHOW NOTESSomething I did not share in this episode, is that in the years since my son died, something that has been healing has been to pour some extra love into our home. I've done some renovations, decluttered a couple areas, created a new home office for myself, and continue saving money for needed updates. As I share in this episode, I'm not attached to a building itself. I'm attached to the FEELING of home as sacred.In this episode, I invite you to explore your own relationship with home and environment. From who gets access to you, the rhythms and routines than lend themselves to joy, naming how you want to feel in your home, and how you might pour some extra love into your home… I hope this episode will get some new ideas simmering in you around how to honour the sanctity and gift of home and amplify joy.LINKS/RESOURCESJoin the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (early promo Dec 4-15: join at current rate before price goes up in January + join the Seasonal Transition Call for free!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In ProgressThe Seasonal Transition Call – Winter Solstice ($90 or free for Brave + Beautiful Community Members): Join The Winter Solstice Call: Honour Your Wiring in Every Season (alifeinprogress.ca)Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress

SHOW NOTESHome is sacred space. It's not the size or fanciness of home that matters. Feeling at home in our body and life is also sacred. We get to treat home (home in self) as sacred and be the gatekeeper of who and what gets access to us/our True Self.Joy is relational; it's amplified when shared with others. But if we don't have a safe 'home base' within ourselves, we likely feel dysregulated often, or easily tip into old self-protective patterns, which impacts our relationships. We need to feel safe, at home, and (hopefully) joyful in our bodies and lives. When we reclaim home within ourselves we show up to our relationships in a healthier way. In this episode I speak to four key ideas that help us come home to ourselves: we don't need fixing; we need witnessing (by self and others); daily recovery is necessary; we can make choices from a loving and nurturing place instead of from a rule-oriented, judging or shaming place; and we need to become awake to the cultural dictates that lead to burnout, bodily dissatisfaction, and self-abandonment.LINKS/REFERENCESSign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! (registration ends Dec 1)Join the Brave + Beautiful Community Winter Session (early promo Dec 4-15: join at current rate before price goes up in January + join the Seasonal Transition Call for free!): Join the Brave + Beautiful Community | A Life In ProgressThe Seasonal Transition Call - Winter Solstice ($90 or free for Brave + Beautiful Community Members): Join The Winter Solstice Call: Honour Your Wiring in Every Season (alifeinprogress.ca)Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Free 25m zoom chat with Krista if you need help deciding if the B+B Community is a good fit for you in this season: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress

*I swear in this episode in case you have little people aroundSHOW NOTESGrief is always hard... but grieving over the holidays can be an extra layer of hard. Our grief doesn't need to be 'fixed.' It simply needs to be witnessed. In this episode I share honestly about where I'm at and a few ideas for taking good care of yourself if you're grieving over the holidays.LINKS/REFERENCESSign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! (registration ends Dec 1)Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Grief Support: Tools For Suicide or Child Loss | A Life In ProgressThe HSP Podcast Presents: Thriving Through & Beyond Grief as HSPs with Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui - YouTubeHow to Navigate the Inner Winter of Grief in Menopause (Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui)What Is An Inner Winter Season? (And How To Learn Trust And Practice Paradox In Winter Seasons) | (alifeinprogress.ca)Phyllis Mathis MA (find her book bottom of home page)Soul + Practice: Raw Conversations & Real Practices with Kathy Escobar & Phyllis Mathis on Apple Podcasts

In theory at least, the holiday season is about gratitude, connection/community, a focus on what's truly most important. The reality for many, however, is an increase in stress, anxiety and depression. I don't know what all is going on in your life, of course, but perhaps there are ways you can lower your stress through less performing, people-pleasing, and perfectionism while amping up your joy or wellbeing.Next week the focus is on holding space for both joy and pain over the holidays.SHOW NOTESIf less performing and more joy this holiday season sounds welcome, then I invite you to spend time reflecting on the questions I share in this episode. They are not magic .... just a simple invitation to get honest about the reality of your capacity in this season, the traditions that truly fill you up, and 'permission' to question and/or edit or release the rest.LINKS/REFERENCESBetween Nov 20 - Dec 01, Sign up for the free Simplify + Recalibrate: Join The 5-Day Challenge! | A Life In Progress (runs Dec 4-8). If you tried to sign up before Monday, Nov 20, you will need to sign up again.Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.Book your 2024 coaching space: learn more about 1:1 work with Krista.Winter Mindfulness Journal: find all four seasonal mindfulness journals here.

Shoring up leaky boundaries (boundary work in general!) is essential to living with freedom, wholeness, and joy and walking out our core values. There are three clear cues in my body and life that I have one or more leaky boundaries that need attending to. These cues are: resentment, persistent anxiety, and avoidance.SHOW NOTESIn this episode I share 15 examples of leaky boundaries from my life, 7 common reasons midlife women struggle to articulate/communicate/honour healthy boundaries for themselves, the difference between a boundary with self and a boundary involving another person, and what a leaky boundary is and is NOT.LINKS/REFERENCESHow to Build Brave and Flexible Boundaries With Yourself First | (alifeinprogress.ca)Reclaim Your Voice: How To Set Healthy Boundaries | (alifeinprogress.ca)Are Boundaries Selfish? Boundaries Are Actually Compassionate: This Is Why | A Life In ProgressThe Simple But Uncommon Boundary Tip You've Likely Never Considered + A Circle of Impact Exercise | A Life In ProgressBrave Boundaries Workshop, Part 1 | A Life In ProgressBrave Midlife Boundaries Workshop, Part 2 | A Life In ProgressThe Four Tendencies Quiz | Gretchen RubinBook your 1:1 client space for 2024Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.

All or nothing thinking keeps us stuck in lack. It keeps us stuck in the story that 'when' circumstances align perfectly then we'll be happy, love ourselves, start writing, etc. But if you're open to living with more joy, then I recommend that you try 'all or something' thinking on for size.SHOW NOTESWe're all birthing something (or creating, handcrafting, bring to life or fruition, building, spilling over/offering something). But what happens when life is really messy and the waves keep on coming, intense as ever? Do we throw in the towel, sink into despair, or abdicate the privilege and responsibility of bringing our vision to life and/or helping build a world we want to live in? In 2018 I wrote a simple post about choosing all or something. This practice has helped me over the past 5 years and continues to encourage me today. In this episode I chat about drawing a new map for this season of life, mining for the beauty and wisdom in every season, laying a foundation of health, and some of the ways I'm practicing all or something so that I can keep writing and showing up for life though I've been experiencing high anxiety.LINKS/REFERENCESJust Choose All or Something: read the post here.Lunar Abundance, Dr. Ezzie Spencer: take a look here (referral link)Reignite Your Creativity Worksheets - get the worksheets here.Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.

What do you want to be so filled up with that you leak it over into your circle of impact? What are you currently leaking into your circle?LINKS/RESOURCESCultivating Joy: How to bring more joy into your daily life | Globalnews.caNew life hack: The joy snack - The Washington PostPractice Self-Compassion Like Your Life Depends Upon It: Episode 2 (alifeinprogress.ca)Make Peace With Messiness to Make Space for Joy: Episode 4 | (alifeinprogress.ca)Find Krista on FB: A Life in Progress and also Rebranding Middle Age. Find her on IG.

“What if joy is not only entangled with pain, suffering, and sorrow but is also what emerges from how we care for each other through those things?” - Ross Gay, Inciting JoyI learned to armor up at a young age. Lately I've been thinking through some of the reasons that may have led to this. In my early childhood, two of my friends died - one of cancer, one in a house fire down the street. Siblings who had been abused joined our family and because they did not receive any support as individuals, and we did not receive any support as a family, this brought some chaos to our home. One of my sisters burned our house down when I was 11. My mom got cancer the first time when I was 21 or so and she died 10 years later. My dad died of cancer about 10 years after that and there were a lot of other layers of heartache and fear mixed in.My parents relied on my husband and I to come help whenever there was a new crisis - and I was happy to help. But I lived on high alert. I remember one day recognizing that I could not and would not allow myself to feel too happy because when the next bad thing came that lay in wait just around the bend, I'd have further to fall.SOME KEY IDEASBrené Brown says that we armor up to avoid shame, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear and this usually revolves around 1 of 3 methods: striving for perfection; numbing out; disrupting joyful moments by dress-rehearsing tragedy and imagining all the ways that things could go wrong.Joy is a basic human emotion and it's also the most vulnerable emotion - it makes sense that we armor up as a form of self-protection. To allow joy to live in our bodies and lives we must learn safety in vulnerability.I mention soul child theory re: the Enneagram / my nature or essence is joy.You can't necessarily manufacture joy but you can allow it, notice it, feel it, savor it. We can also become awake to conditioning and cultural dictates that rob us of joy (I didn't say this but more to come in season 2).When we are mindful of our suffering and respond with kindness… we cope with greater ease. We create a state of mind and heart that reduces psychopathology while enhancing joy and meaning in life. - Kristin Neff and Andrew CostiganJoy is a distinct positive emotion “for when we feel connected or reunited with something or someone that's really important to us.” -Phillip Watkins, psychologist who studies joy, gratitude, happiness“Rejoice. An odd word that literally means ‘to experience joy again.' That should be our daily mission. To experience joy again. Sure there's stuff that needs doing, stuff to wade through and stuff to fix but there's also the joy of small things: a hug, a conversation…walking on the land, listening to great music or enjoying silence and a cup of tea. Rejoice. Fill yourself again.” - Richard WagameseAn intellectual experience of joy is not the same as embodied experience. LINKS/REFERENCESJoin The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community Autumn Session - our theme is Filled Up + Overflowing. Final day to join us is Oct 6th (start date Oct 9). Register here https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/I'm taking a break and season 2 of this podcast begins Oct 26/23. The focus will be on Embodied Joy.Expand Your...

After my son died, I was thrown head-first into a deep and dark winter season. The years that followed were incredibly painful and I longed for spring or light to come again. One day I heard in my spirit, “you have to live the end of one story before stepping into the next.”I remember my dad telling me one day over a decade ago, that the time between a vision and the fruition of a vision or dream can take years - decades even. I can look back and see this truth at play in many areas of my life. It often takes longer than our ego wants and feels comfortable with, far longer than our brain believes it ‘should' take, even longer than our body feels it can withstand. There are no shortcuts, no bypassing certain experiences. We must go through. We must do the work to put down deep roots and do the work required so that we are equipped for what comes next. SOME KEY IDEASSafety first. Bring safety to yourself or your experience through curiosity and compassion.Stretch don't stress. Ask “Am I unsafe or am I uncomfortable?”Practice a pause. Create space between stimulus and response so that you can choose your next step/your response.We all have patterns (behaviours, emotional responses, thoughts) that are “state not trait.” They are not WHO we are but HOW we learned to show up to life. Awareness=more choice.Move at your own pace. Whether grieving, healing, bringing a dream or vision to life, things take time. We grow into our vision. Grief must do its work in us.No amount of comparing, shaming, bullying will move us forward in a positive way. Remove the shame and judgment around whatever you are experiencing or wherever you are on your journey. When you're in the thick of it, it's really hard to see any movement/growth/change. Reach out for support. And take one more step forward. There are tools and practices you can learn to discharge stress and help you feel more regulated and able to take the next step forward: movement, humming/sighing, shifting your posture, and exposure to cold are some examples.LINKS/REFERENCESJoin The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community Autumn Session. Early registration ends tomorrow but regular registration ends Oct 6th or when we hit our cap. Use the coupon code OVERFLOWING10 to take 10% off at checkout! Learn more: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/The Feel More Empowered Workshop $7: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/feel-more-empowered/30 Ways to Feel Calmer and More Empowered in Your Body and Life (free): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-feel-calmer-in-your-body-and-mind/The Upside of Stress, Kelly McGonigal, PhD: my referral link

When I'm driving on the highway and someone zooms past me at high speed or weaves in and out of traffic to ‘get ahead' I always wonder, “where are you rushing to?” And is putting your life and mine at risk worth shaving a few seconds off your ride?I'm a slow mover by nature. To be healthy and happy, I require a lot of spaciousness and breathing room in my life to think, connect the dots inside my mind, process, putter, and integrate. I lived most of my life in chronic pain, had a disease as a child and now a hip replacement that brings physical limitations and I walk with a limp. But though I'm not wired for hustle-culture, I've built a brave and beautiful life at my own rhythm. I move through life in a (mostly) soul-honouring and sustainable way and this helps me feel safe, at home, and joyful in my body and life.SOME KEY IDEAS:We can't pour out what we don't also pour in.Performance and productivity do not prove your worth. You can opt out of hustle-culture (or at least not judge yourself by it).There is beauty and wisdom to be mined in every season - even the hardest (and slowest) of them. Knowing the season(s) you're in increases peace and wellbeing.Simple habits, rituals, and practices that honour your wiring will help you build a life you desire and more fully express the truth of who and how you choose to be in the world.Build the muscle of imperfect action. We find our way in action not before. Slow and steady action with consistency leads to powerful results.Whether healing, grieving, creating, walking, or … you get to move at the pace of your nervous system. Begin as you mean to go on.Spring for me is an invitation to rest, recalibrate, and restore. Build rest and check-points into your day, week, season, and year to guard your mind-body health and live aligned with your values and priorities.LINKS/REFERENCES: The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community Autumn Session is open for early registration Sep 4-16: when you join during early-registration you get to join us for our Seasonal (equinox) Call and get the Seasonal Transition Workbook. And 10 people can use the coupon code OVERFLOWING10 to take 10% off at checkout! Learn more: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/The Midlife Crossroad PDF (free / follows season 1 of this podcast): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-midlife-crossroad/The Wisdom of Life Seasons: How to Embrace the Season You're In: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-seasons/An Overview of Seasonal Living and How to Explore: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/an-overview-of-seasonal-living-and-how-to-explore/8 Types of Rest Worksheets: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/8-types-of-rest-free-worksheets/

“We learn from an early age that ‘masked and armored' is the safe and sane way to live” writes Parker Palmer in A Hidden Wholeness. We are wired for connection - we need each other. Yet there is an epidemic of loneliness in the world and it's getting worse.Loneliness has the same health impact as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and increases risk of premature death by 29%. A 2021 Canadian survey reported that more than 1 in 10 people are always or often lonely. 3/10 said they are sometimes lonely. And a 2020 loneliness report shared that 52% of Americans feel lonely and 47% say their relationships with others do not feel meaningful. As an HSP and strong introvert I crave deep heart-to-heart connection. But I've also had to learn to move against my instinct to withdraw or isolate and instead make a bid for connection when feeling low, and to risk vulnerability and get creative about forging healthy relationships and community.We need to grapple with this paradox: We are wired for connection and we need each other. But also, it's often better to be alone than to remain in unhealthy spaces / relationships.SOME KEY IDEASThere are many factors that contribute to midlife women feeling lonely or disconnected. We all have an internal story of connection or protection - what's your story?Loneliness has many negative health impacts. Loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. It's possible to feel lonely in a crowd.Social support and social connection are not the same thing; they are both important. If we have social support without social connection, we can still feel lonely.All of us have a bidirectional Circle of Impact; we need to choose our inner circle(s) wisely. Emotions (including loneliness) are contagious as are mental states, positive or negative.Not every relationship is forever. Healthy relationships must include healthy boundaries and brave conversations.EQ is a predictor of happiness in relationships. 4 key components of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness or empathy, social skills.LINKS/REFERENCES Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop, Sep 6 (registration closes Sep 1): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-your-inner-critic-workshop/The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community, early registration for Autumn Session runs Sep 4-16 (join the BB early / join the Seasonal Transition Call free): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/The Midlife Crossroad PDF (free / follows season 1 of this podcast): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-midlife-crossroad/Boundaries Workshops: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/workshops-for-your-life-in-progress/The Circle of Impact Exercise: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-circle-of-impact-exercise/

Life shouldn't be neat and tidy. If your life feels challenging, you're not doing it wrong. It's the belief that you “should” always know what you're doing, and that your life should always feel easy and smooth sailing, that keeps you in suffering.I'm a recovering perfectionist - an Enneagram One (hopeful reformer) for those of you familiar with The Enneagram. I had to learn to make peace with the messiness of life - the imperfection of myself, messiness at home (ex. creative art projects as I raised creative humans, leaving laundry in a basket so I could write), and messiness in relationships, in order to find joy. No matter how hard I worked, appliances broke, people I loved died, marriage and raising kids was hard work, and money was often tight. None of this was wrong or bad (hard isn't the same as ‘wrong') - it was simply part of a full, meaningful, beautiful life. I couldn't control it. I made a decision at one point to stop reading magazines and books, or watching shows/movies that pulled me into comparison or feeling less than. I needed to intentionally quiet the noise and fairy-tale versions of life so that I could love the life in front of me.Quote I mentioned in this episode: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." -Viktor FranklSOME KEY IDEAS: Learning to practice paradox - or both/and - will change your experience of life, quality of relationships, and mind-body health.We all have coping mechanisms or ways of numbing, running, avoiding, bypassing.You 'shouldn't' be perfect. We find our way in action, not before. As long as you're awake, saying yes to life, you'll meet new challenges and learning opportunities. Railing against reality keeps us stuck in suffering. When we make peace with messiness we make space for joy.We can't control a lot of life but we can always choose our response. “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor FranklLINKS/REFERENCES: Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop, Sep 6: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-your-inner-critic-workshop/ (Early-bird pricing is over but you can still join us! Registration ends Sep 3.)The Brave + Beautiful Membership Community - join the waitlist for our Autumn Session: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/membership/Make Peace With Paradox and Practice Imperfect Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/make-peace-with-paradox/The Midlife Crossroad PDF (free / follows season 1 of this podcast): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-midlife-crossroad/

Palliative nurse Bronnie Ware recorded her patient's end of life regrets. The top regret of the dying was “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself.”A clear and compelling life vision, and clarity around my core values, kept me anchored after my parents died, through chronic pain, after a traumatic car accident, through and beyond the death of my son, PTSD, and deep grief. It lights my path in every season - it helps me live ON PURPOSE.I don't want to miss my life being distracted by shiny things, comparison, or waiting for a “perfect some day.” I choose to show up fully to every day I get.SOME KEY IDEASAt the end of your life how will you know you've lived well?Focus ↠ aim ↠ visionA clear vision and knowing our core values keeps us anchored in every season, helps us keep our eyes on our own path, and helps us not lose hope when life feels hard.Hope is not fairy dust - it's a realistic sense of optimism based on an expectation of positive outcomes. It involves agency (power of choice) and a belief that there are alternate pathways to our desired goal/outcome.LINKS/REFERENCESMy values: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/meet-krista/3/2/1 Exercise: 3 Purposeful Questions I Ask Myself Each Night as Part of a Simple Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca)Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop, Sep 6: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-your-inner-critic-workshop/Free life visioning tools: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-visioning-tools/Top 5 Regrets of The Dying book (my referral link): https://amzn.to/47scnMoWhat is Hope in Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/what-is-hope-and-why-i-practice-hope-in-action/Core Values PDFs: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/values-aligned-goals/