Mind Revolution

I'm going to cut right to the chase. If you're attempting something great – building and growing a business, creating content, working through relationship drama, raising kids, tackling personal projects –  you need support. Period.    And not getting the help you need can make the difference between living a life you love and one you despise.    Somewhere along the way, many of us adopted the notion that the self-made man is the gold standard, the ideal, that our success will be sweeter if we go it alone.    This is a big flawed premise. There is no such thing as a self-made man. Or woman (just to be clear.)    Did you make the device you're reading this on? Did you cut the trees to get the wood to construct your house? Did you build your car or manufacture your stove? Did you make your shoes? I'm willing to bet no.   We get support in a million ways to live and function in the world. Why do we shoot ourselves in the foot by resisting support when it comes to reaching our goals?    This sometimes happens among my clients who have already invested in my services. Their impulse to “go it alone” overrides what makes sense: to take advantage of the resources at their disposal.   The go-it-alone tendency can manifest in multiple ways:  Feeling embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help  Feeling not worthy to use another person's time Not wanting to take up air space in group coaching sessions Feeling hesitant about bringing negative energy or doubts into a group coaching session Missing appointments Not sharing your ideas and strategies so that others can provide feedback    But here is what I have observed. The fastest way to get from here to there is to put yourself in a supportive environment. Everyone needs support from time to time. Everyone. And encouragement, external resources, and feedback can be the difference between reaching your goals or not. Or it could be the difference between reaching your goals gracefully or exhaustedly.   There are no extra points for going-it-alone or being depleted. None.   But there is a lot of extra that comes with a supportive environment. There are shared resources, shared energy, encouragement, the give-and-take of receiving and providing feedback.    I am here to support you. Not to make decisions for you or to run your business. That's your thing. But if you could benefit from support – and can't we all? – then, I am here for you. From the podcast to Revolution to NLP Sales School to Momentum Maker and Soulful Business with NLP Facebook group, I've got many ways for you to plug in and get the support you need. We all benefit when we share our challenges, expertise, and solutions. Join in! Get and give the support we all need. We can do this together! Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube     To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

My take on abundance is that it's always here, always available. It's on tap 24/7, ready to pour into your existence. And it's our scarcity thinking, old stories, and patterns that stop the natural flow of abundance. And all the years of coaching others and my personal work point to this:  No, you don't have to earn abundance, and you don't have to wait until you deserve it. It just is.   And I'm talking about abundance in all good things – an abundance of health, wealth, time, laughter, joy… Full, unbridled abundance.   So why might you not be feeling abundance in your life right now?    Old neural patterns, ideas of scarcity, and negative beliefs about money and prosperity divert our focus and keep the abundance-that-always-is out of our awareness much of the time. We get bogged down by our sensory experience and lose sight of all the prosperity and plenty that is around us.    Want to experience more abundance in your life? Yeah, me too! To do that, you must stop doing the following:    Stop blaming. Stop blaming other people, situations, circumstances, etc. for your life experience. Take responsibility for your outcomes and remember that you're doing the best you can. And then, focus on doing better. Stop telling yourself that you're not worthy to have the things that you want. If you're breathing, you're worthy. You just are. And so is everybody else. Stop feeling guilty. Guilt serves a purpose in small doses but the way most people guilt themselves serves no one.  Stop feeling shame. Let it go. Stop feeling resentful. Let go of past negative interactions with others.   Guilt, shame, and resentment don't happen in a vacuum. You have established neural networks that contain these emotions that are triggered by some external event or memory. Be mindful of the events and then follow the suggestions below.    Instead of doing all the things that stop the flow of abundance, do the following:   Cling to self-love. If you find it challenging to feel love for yourself, then imagine what it would be like if you did, and soak in that possibility. This will begin the process of creating a self-love container at an unconscious level. Live your vision of abundance as if it's happening now. The free 21-Day Money Mindset Rewrite has a clever exercise for helping you do just this. I dare you to try it and see what happens.  Interrupt old patterns. When you notice that you're feeling uncomfortable with your current life experience, pause what you're doing, and get in a feel-good state. Then return to what you were doing in that refreshed state. When you feel uncomfortable again, pause again to take time to get into a better state. Those good states will last longer and longer if you practice them. This is how you control your state in your moment-to-moment experience.  Stay in gratitude. Actively look for the plentitude and the goodness that is all around you.  My 21-Day Money Mindset Rewrite has been creating big shifts for me and for others. Go get this free program! It will give you a big boost towards reclaiming your abundance.      Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram,  Links from today's episode:   The Radically Different NLP Money Mindset Rewrite   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

You've probably heard by now about my Radically Different NLP Money Mindset Rewrite program. It's a 21-day program that drips encouragement to help you reset your money mindset.    I've been getting some great feedback so far. Here's what I see the most: It's difficult for people to stick with the program. It's hard to create new habits!    Sometimes we get bored with a new habit. Or we forget why we wanted to install a new habit in the first place. Or we just get tired and want to do something familiar and comforting instead.    We have to decide that what we want is more important than staying in the same old thinking and behavioral patterns. You know, the behavioral patterns that are comfortable — the ones that got us where we are right now.   To support you in establishing new habits…   Clearly identify what you want using only positive language. Ask youself… Who do I have to be to live that way or get that outcome?  What beliefs and attitudes do I need to adopt to make this happen?  What routines would be in my ideal self's daily experience?  What actions would I need to take to get there?  What am I doing now that doesn't align with and support what I want? Choose one small habit that you can start doing right now.    If you're trying to break a bad habit, identify the triggers that lead to the habitual action. Becoming aware of the triggers is half the battle! When we're aware of internal strategies and external cues, we can choose to interrupt the old patterns we want to break.   It's essential to build in rewards for yourself along the way.  If breaking a habit, give yourself a little reward each time you recognize the old triggers and choose a more supportive action.  If you're adopting a new habit and feeling bored or frustrated, honor those nudges. Rather than pushing through, take a brief 10-15 minute break and do something supportive and pleasurable. Decide ahead of time on 3 to 5 different, fun activities that you can engage in during these times. This will interrupt the old pattern and will link pleasure with your new goal. Remind the unconscious mind what it feels like to complete the things you want to do.    Before long, you will have created the habits that will support you in achieving what you want. You've got this!    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Bridging the Gap Between You and You NLP Money Mindset Rewrite   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Our mindset can make a challenge feel like a slow mountain climb or make that same challenge feel like a fun learning opportunity.    This year, one of the themes for my clients inside Soulful Business Revolution has been ease. Everybody in there is focusing on finding more ease so that their goals unfold in a way that feels effortless. They're discovering that it's possible to do big things with grace and ease.   I'm tackling some big things myself, and my goals are getting me up early in the morning and keeping me up late at night — for now.    As I think of my clients creating the changes they want from the inside out, the image that comes to mind is a pressure cooker. Pressure is applied for a duration of time, and during that time, you can't tell that anything is happening. You don't get to see any progress until the pressure is released, and — voila — you have the beautiful, delicious finished product!   It's much the same way with personal transformations. When we're in the thick of it, we can't see the progress. Sometimes all we can see is that it's a challenging time. But when the pressure lifts, we see the result of work that was happening under the lid all along.    And as you're on your journey, a results game-changer is living your vision in your mind as if it's happening now.  This gives clear instructions to your unconscious mind to follow.   What most of us do is look to the future and count the days and months and years until this thing we want shows up.  The problem with that strategy is that talking and thinking about what you want as if it's coming someday in the future only trains your unconscious mind that what you want is out of reach because, as you're thinking about it, it is.   When you stubbornly focus on your desired outcome and feel, inside, as if you're living it now, you give your brain a chance to gather the resources to bring it to fruition.    You can learn to stay in the essence of what you want, let it permeate your being, and hold on to it.  This is the key to bringing about transformation with ease.       Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Bridging the Gap Between You and You NLP Money Mindset Rewrite  21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

When I recorded this episode, the 2022 Winter Olympics were underway in Beijing, China. After watching an interview with an Olympic skier, I was struck by the parallels between you and me.    An Olympian may train for decades for a 30-second race or downhill ski run. If that race was all that mattered, that could be pretty depressing. After all, there can only be one winner.    But if the ultimate goal is to get better and improve personally, then every race and workout can be a triumph and a stepping stone toward something incredible. When we focus on improvement and find purpose and joy in getting better, that puts the everyday “grind” in a new, sustainable light.    When the focus is on progress, that puts me in control of my outcomes.    If you're building a business or on a self-improvement journey (which really, business growth IS personal growth), just like an Olympian, you've got to be in it for the long haul. There are no quick fixes and no shortcuts.    When I transitioned my face-to-face coaching business online, I threw money at various solutions, which didn't work. Some things take time, and building momentum is one of those things. It's built off the back of mindset and consistency.   To commit to the long game, know your purpose. NLP Tip: It should be more than just making money.    To stay excited and enthusiastic on the journey —  connect deeply with your purpose.    The journey from here to there can be filled with away-from thinking, doubts, uncertainty, fear, and limiting beliefs. If it weren't, you'd already be at your destination! The real challenge is to clean up all that debris. Over time, as you keep showing up and focus on improving, the energy in your body aligns with your desired outcome, and the positive results simply must show up in your experience.        Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and YouTube Links from today's episode:   The Free NLP Money Mindset Rewrite Free Mindset Matters Coaching     To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Last week one of my clients got an unpleasant text and said, “I don't know why they keep doing that!”   My response was, “Let's read that text again and pretend like it's your unconscious mind talking to you.”    We uncovered some ideas that she had believed for a long time, but she had been looking at it from "It's them and not me." And when she embraced "This is me because my unconscious mind is me," then we were able to do some magnificent work.    Metaphors and symbols are the language of the unconscious mind. Carl Jung and Milton Erickson would say that your whole life experience is one big metaphor.    Let's use money as an example because it's tangible. If your life experience is a metaphor, what does your experience with money tell you about the patterns you're running inside?   I use my souped-up version of NLP time techniques in my client work to uncover long-existing patterns and beliefs that no longer serve them. We glean what learnings we can take away from experiences, then release negative emotions and eliminate the limiting beliefs. And all of this is facilitated by communicating with their unconscious mind. Our work is to connect to the meaning behind the symbols embedded in the metaphor their unconscious mind is using to show us the problem.   I've been doing this work for a long time. Releasing negative emotions at an unconscious level is not a one-and-done event. So, before recording this episode, I decided to release negative emotions around money. I didn't really feel any, but I've done this several times since I grew up with boatloads of limiting beliefs around money.    To my surprise, my unconscious mind revealed an intriguing metaphor that you'll hear all about in today's episode. It blew my mind. The metaphor includes a petite man who has shut himself off from society, a hole in a wall, and a flower that is actually much more than just a flower. Here are some of the learnings reaffirmed by my unconscious mind:   Money is energy. What we believe about and expect from money is what we'll get. We project our perceived shortcomings onto money.   Most of us have learned through our lived experience that you have to work hard for money, that money is elusive, that money is difficult to save, and that there's never enough money. Some of us may have even believed that people with a lot of money are bad or dishonest.   This episode is about stepping into consciousness, recognizing your limiting money beliefs, and healing your relationship with money. Remember, just because your unconscious mind believes something doesn't mean it's true. I want to help you shift through your ideas about money, hold onto the ones that serve you, let go of the ones that don't, and adopt new beliefs around money that will help you get to where you want to go.    This is a process, and I'm right in there with you!        Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   The Unconscious Indulgence of Pain, Suffering, and Struggle   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

This past week, a theme popped up multiple times in my work. And it's a theme that I used to run unconsciously as well. It goes something like this…   “I have to struggle to succeed.”   “People who suffer deserve to succeed.”   “Life is pain.”    “The more I can overcome pain and suffering, the more I prove my worthiness.”   When I was a single mom, I had several girlfriends who were in similar circumstances. We were all hardworking professional single moms who were bringing home (and cooking and serving) the bacon.    We were carting our kids around and supervising homework in between closing deals. We'd get together to sympathize with one another, pump each other up, and lick each others' war wounds.    Heck, we were proud of those wounds. We were overcoming the hardships — we were doing it!   And at some point, it just became sad. If we were so awesome, why didn't we have the partner we deserved? Why were our clients and customers such jerks sometimes? Why was life so exhausting?   If this sounds familiar, it's time to change the channel with a reframe. Changing  can be especially challenging when you live in an environment that glorifies suffering for a cause or for “the team.” This looks like: “Put in your time, and you'll get the gold watch” (or the plaque, fancy vacation, or a handsome deposit in your 401K).    When the primary focus is on the struggle, the rewards may eventually come, but they'll be over in an instant because the modus operandi, the day-to-day reality, is going to be on your focus — in this case, ”the struggle.”   If this resonates with you, it's time to decide that you've suffered enough. It's time to stop looking at the journey as something to endure. Instead, focus on the beauty, opportunities,  growth, and all the things to celebrate on the journey. When you focus on those things, your unconscious mind — by need — will have to show them to you.    Don't wait until you reach your destination to start enjoying the process, friend. The ride between there and here could be joyous. Ditch the suffering, pain, and struggle ideation, make peace with the fact that life is a process, and celebrate the journey.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Mind Revolution episode, One Simple Change for Big Results Mind Revolution episode, Bridging the Gap Between You and You   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

All my clients are doing something to improve the quality of other people's lives. They're good at what they do, and they have every reason to be proud of their work. So, why do so many of them feel reluctant and foot-draggy when it comes to selling?   It boils down to mindset. The reason you have a hard time confidently inviting prospects to become your client so that you can positively impact their lives is the same reason you have a hard time expressing what you want and need in your relationships.    Our personal lives are often riddled with passive-aggressiveness and hint-dropping while hoping others read our minds. It's as if we're wishing our way to helping people see that we're good enough to help them — and all without saying a word. In NLP, we call this living at effect.   Translated into the business setting, we hope we'll get noticed and hired without doing the work. And when clients do sign up with us, we often second-guess our service's value.   The beautiful thing about sales is that you know how you're doing by looking at your results. There's no guessing here.    And how you're doing in sales will be a reflection of how you're doing in life and your personal development.    The skills you need to excel in business are the same ones that will help you excel in relationships, your personal habits, and in daily disciplines.   Sales, to me, is a big metaphor for life. It says, "I'm someone who can speak about the things I want. I can ask for what I want. And I can talk about the goodness that I have to share and explain, in a way that you can understand, how it's going to serve and benefit you."    This is why selling with NLP lights my fire. You can learn to step into other people's models of the world and lead them to other models where they have more choice. You can learn to speak to individual prospects in a way that they can best hear and understand your offer. You can more effortlessly find and communicate win-win solutions that are compelling and full of integrity.   This is why I created the NLP Sales School. And all the material is directly applicable to life and relationships in general. You, your business, and your life are worth the investment.     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Mind Revolution Podcast episode, Bridging the Gap Between You and You   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

I'm in the middle of preparing to launch NLP Sales School. I'll deliver the NLP material in a very digestible style and format that I've never seen before. I'm super proud of and excited about this legacy product that I'm creating.   We're launching in less than a week, and, to be honest, the process of creating this course hasn't been all sunshine and roses. It's been a lot of work! This process has been a reminder that there's a balance I need to strike between striving for excellence and giving myself a break.   Case in point… This morning I headed downstairs, as usual, to make coffee before heading to my office. But this morning, I felt a tug inside to pause and look out the window. That glance out the window turned into 30 minutes of sitting in gratitude as I sipped my coffee and gazed over the snowy landscape out the window of our new Kentucky home. The view and the moment were simply breathtaking. Taking it all in was nourishment to my soul.    Then Ron and Gunner came downstairs, and I felt compelled to share the view and those precious morning moments with them. So I did. And when we all had our fill, I felt revitalized, and I headed up to the office, ready to get my game-face on and get to work.    However, I stopped in my tracks when Ron announced he was going to check out an authentic Mexican market, a place nearby that we hadn't yet explored.    My look said it all. “What? I'm the Mexican in this household. If anyone is going to the Mexican market, it should be me!”   But before I could speak the words, I felt another tug and knew what I needed to do. Sure, I would have loved to make a date of it and go to the Mexican market with Ron. But I had just enjoyed our connection, and now another purpose was calling. It was time to work on this course. I'll enjoy the market sometime soon. But in that moment, I committed to excellence.    Today's episode explores the NLP principle of going one step further. Do what's in your comfort zone, and then go one step further. That's the path to excellence.    The beautiful thing about going one step further is that it requires awareness and focus — two of the most powerful tools in your arsenal for creating the life experience you want.   Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Make sure you check out our free resources!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Carl Rogers, whose work changed the way therapists work with their clients, said that humans are designed for fulfillment, joy, wholeness, and success. We're created for self-actualization. That's why we always find ourselves wanting more, striving for more, wanting to be better. We sense that innate potential within ourselves.   It's like we're all living with two versions of ourselves at the same time. There's the self that you are now and the self that you want to be. There's you experiencing the world now, and there's your actualized self.    Self-actualization begins with awareness. Awareness of where you are now and where you want to be, and the awareness that everything you need is already inside of you. This awareness allows you to shed comparison and competition, paving the way for personal growth and win-wins.    Awareness helps you shift your direction filter to a positive-toward direction, focusing on what you want rather than focusing on what you don't want. In this way, the target gets bigger as you move towards your goal, increasing your momentum and getting to where you want to be much more quickly than focusing on what you're trying to leave behind.   How can we bridge the gap between the version of you that exists today and the self-actualized you? Both iterations of yourself already exist in your unconscious mind. So how can you move closer to the actualized self and experience more of that in your daily life?   Change your thinking. Pay attention to your thoughts and how you're feeling. When you're not feeling great, it always mean you're thinking a thought that negatively impacted your sense of wellbeing. If what you're thinking about doesn't feel good, shift your thought to something that feels even just a little bit better. Frame things in positive, toward language. Think about what you want in your life without judgment or impatience. Just relish in the daydream. Explore what those things will do for you and how they'll make you feel. The most important time to do this is before  you find yourself in a crappy mood and then when a crappy mood shows up. Yep, I've said it before — manage your state.   Watch your words. Be mindful of the words in your head and those that come out of your mouth. Remember that your unconscious mind takes everything personally. Whether you're thinking good or bad thoughts, your unconscious mind thinks it's about you.    Not only that. We limit the people in our lives by what we think and say about them. Imagine yourself and the people around you completely whole, happy, fulfilled, and successful. Hold onto that vision. You're likely to see a change in a positive direction.    Take consistent action. Learn something new. Access available resources. Rewrite negative beliefs. Take baby steps in the direction of what you want. Do these things consistently, and momentum will grow. This will allow you to bridge the gap between the two yous. As you build momentum and achieve small victories, you'll find yourself being guided to where you're supposed to be. It's a beautiful thing, and it's totally within your reach. In fact, it's already in you.     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Check out our freebies! Join the Sales Mindset Makeover   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Today's episode is about that voice in your head. The one that second guesses your actions, that says you're not good enough, that says, “Why do you think that people care about what you have to say?” “Why would anyone want to buy your program?” and even, “Who do you think you are?” That voice is your inner critic.  If you have one — you're not alone. I recently had a run-in with mine. I launched a program...and it felt like a flop because it didn't reach my expectations. Now, it wasn't completely unsuccessful because I did have some wonderful people join our community. But the result was nowhere near what I was hoping for. And my inner critic started laying it on thick. For a couple of days, I was pulling out all my NLP tools to help me break out of those feelings of disappointment and rejection.  What's interesting is that — as is so often the case — other people in my space were hearing from their inner critics too. What is the inner critic anyway?  NLP teaches us that we sometimes have unintegrated parts. These are parts of your unconscious mind that don't realize they're parts of the larger whole of your consciousness. These parts have their own values, their own sets of beliefs, and their own personalities. And when they get triggered, it feels like something awful's got a hold of you and you can't get away for its grip. I believe inner critics are just that — a part.  From my own experiences and my clients' experiences, I've learned that it's helpful to view the inner critic like a child. It's like a child who's grown up in a sheltered environment and is sorely lacking in information and experience. Your job is to educate your inner critic, to educate this “child” who doesn't know any better. I prefer to educate with the “feedback sandwich” method. It looks like this: a hug, followed by a punch, and finished with a hug.   Acknowledge the inner critic's good intention. Inner critics show up to keep us in line (according to their perceptions) and are only trying to protect you. Thank them for that good intention. Then explain that you've learned some things your inner critic doesn't know yet. For instance, you're deserving of all good things, and you have the resources you need to achieve your goals. Invite the part, the inner critic, to learn these new truths and to come play with the whole of you in this bigger playground, bringing with it that positive intention while expanding its knowledge base.   When you can become aware of when the inner critic rears its head and begin to re-educate it, beautiful things can happen.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today's episode: Check out the 10 Step Problem-Solving Method in our Freebies section   To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

I love the Thanksgiving holiday because it's a reminder of the abundance we experience every day. But instead of focusing on gratitude for this episode, I want to focus on love.   We have many false concepts about love, concepts handed down to us from others and “affirmed” by our life experience. The ego would have us believe that love comes from others as if it's outside of ourselves. Many of us grew up believing that love is conditional and is something we need to earn.    If we believe love is something we have to earn, there's an inherent assumption it can also be lost, withheld, or taken away when we don't perform or measure up.   And if we believe that we only receive love after doing something “worthy,” there will always be an element of questioning our own worth, which can easily lead to a sense of not-enoughness hanging over us.    This is not love.    Love just is — it's all around you. It's there whether you accept it or not, and is unchanging and is always available to you.    Why does having an improved concept of love matter anyway?    Because living in the reality of love as an ever-present force brings peace to the self. When you embrace that love simply is, that it doesn't have to be earned, you can begin accepting yourself as you are. And when you accept yourself as you are, it's much easier to accept others as they are. This is the personal freedom we all seek.    See how beautiful and contagious can this be?   If love could speak for itself, what would it say?    Maybe the message would look like this:   Stop it already. You are enough. Give up trying to win love. You already have it. Just be.   Love — or better said, the seeking of it — is behind every intention, every behavior. (This might be difficult to believe at first glance, but dig a little deeper, and you'll see that it's true.) Look beyond your perceived limitations. You are capable of anything you want to achieve.   Love is always present.   Love does not judge.   Love is patient.  Happy Thanksgiving, with much love.   Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Links from today's episode:   The Big Forgiveness Episode   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Science tells us that we're exposed to somewhere between 2 and 11 million bits of information per second, but we can only consciously process 50 to 60 of those bits. To simplify things, the unconscious mind creates shortcuts to size up information and reach conclusions efficiently.    That strategy works great for lots of things.   When you arrive at a traffic light, you don't have to think about what the red light means, and you don't feel confused about what to do when it turns green. Thanks to symbols and mental shortcuts, you can sail through many daily situations — no problem. Those mental shortcuts can serve us well — most of the time.   When it comes to relationships, though, those mental shortcuts can be a problem. It's easy for us to jump to conclusions based on our perceptions. We come to conclusions based on what we think we perceive in others' body language, behaviors, and tone. Then we act on those often erroneous conclusions, causing us to pull back, assume things we shouldn't, make bad decisions, or even alienate others.    As much as we may like to think otherwise, we're not mind readers. Not only that, everything that we do perceive is first filtered and then always distorted by our own experiences, beliefs, values, and perspectives.    Here's how we can make those filters less likely to limit us:   Recognize that you have biases, that you can never know the whole story. There's nothing personal about this. It's simply a reality based on how the mind works. Become more self-aware by recognizing your own beliefs, values, and biases. And, become aware of how you could do better.  Ask more questions. Instead of assuming, get curious. Ask for clarification. Ask for more details. Ask why.    This process will benefit all of your relationships — whether personal or for business. It will increase understanding and broaden your perspective, paving the way for better connections.     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Check out our awesome freebie section!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

We're approaching Thanksgiving, and I'm going into appreciation mode in a big way. My kids call this my sappy time of year because I'm in such deep gratitude for everything from sunrises and sunsets to family and my work. I get misty-eyed from feeling overwhelmed with all the goodness in my life.    A big part of what I'm thankful for is you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all the messages you send me. It is a joy to share with you what I've learned about creating a life you can love. And while today's episode may seem cliche since it's airing right around Thanksgiving, the message here is pure gold for helping you get what you want in life.    For years my mom has had the practice of, as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning, she would give thanks — for breath, her pillow, blanket, for her healthy body… I've adopted the same practice, though it hasn't always been my practice.   I know what it's like to wake up feeling anxious, scared, and totally stressed out. I did that for many years. Giving thanks hasn't always been easy for me, but practicing gratitude is just that —  a practice. And it's worth it because it's so powerful that this seemingly small practice can change your life.   Cultivating a gratitude practice is one of the most powerful things you can do to shift your perspective and your life in a positive direction.     Today's episode is an invitation to do one simple process from now through the end of the year. Make a list of everything you're grateful for. No need to list why you're grateful. Just list the good stuff, one thing after the other. Empty out in one big session of thankfulness.   Then each day from now to the end of the year, add one thing to the list.    What you can expect is that as you focus on the good things in your life, you'll start to notice more good things in your life experience. It's just the way the mind works.    Enjoy it. Bask in it. Play with the process. Have fun with it. Feel all the good feels and give thanks for the shifts and wins along the way.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks Check out our fabulous freebie section!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

We often have the idea that we have to accomplish or acquire things before having a life we love. Actually, the opposite is true. When you learn to love your life right now, you'll more easily be able to accomplish what you want.   It sounds backward, doesn't it?    What I've discovered is that the people that thrive in my programs are the ones that focus on making their present moment the best that it can possibly be.    NLP teaches that a key component to living a happy life is managing your moment-to-moment experience. You might not have what you want yet or be where you want to be right now, but by managing how you feel, you can train your brain to support you in achieving those things you desire.   Managing your moment-to-moment experience is the most effortless way I know of to get from where you are to where you want to be.   Here are five tips to support you in doing just that.   Write about what you want using positive language (leave out the things you want to “not happen”). Write in as much detail as you want. Revise it. Let it rest a few days, and then revisit it. Then revise some more. Play with those dreams and desires and have fun with the process.  Look for ways to cultivate self-love and self-care. This requires awareness of how you're feeling in the moment. When you feel down or off, take the time to explore where the negativity is coming from, address it, and support yourself in feeling better. Explore ways to make your present moment more enjoyable and fulfilling. Listen to a feel-good audio, take deep breaths, sit in gratitude or make a thankful list. And when something good happens, savor that moment so that the positive feelings will last as long as possible. Decide on what you want to achieve long-term. If you're not sure about the specifics, just focus on the big picture and the essence of what you want to feel. Honor yourself by taking action. No need to try to tackle everything at once. Just consistently give a bit of time each day to take another step toward your goals.    Creating a life you love asks of you that you make today, this moment, one that feels alive, invigorating, and nourishes and empowers you. It's about the now — not someday. You can't resent the now and create a beautiful future.         Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Mind Revolution episode, Managing Negative Emotions Effectively Mind Revolution episode, 5 Ways to Cultivate Self-Love Check out our freebies!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

We've just completed our 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough. It was everything I had hoped — and more! After going live nearly every day for three weeks, I was running on empty and in need of a break. When I slowed down and pressed pause, I realized what I was craving most — gentle loving-kindness towards myself.   I'm not talking about self-care. Nor am I talking about eating well, going to the gym, or getting enough sleep. I'm good about that sort of routine self-care.   What was missing was a deeper, more gentle connection with myself.    That deeper kind of self-love, for me, comes from an assumption that I'm worthy. I don't have to wait or do anything or reach some level of “perfection” before I'm worthy of self-love. Perfection doesn't exist in the real world. I exist, therefore I am worthy.    Self-love is a state of being. Today I'm sharing ways to cultivate more of that deep self-love:   Have self-awareness. Be aware of what you're thinking, feeling, and what you want. Be curious about these things without passing judgment. Then ask if those things serve you. If they don't, you can work to change your feelings, thoughts, and desires to something that does serve you. Practice loving, compassionate self-care. Practicing big-picture self-care isn't about having a set way of doing things. Compassionate self-care lets you gauge what will best serve you in your moment-to-moment experience. It's having the flexibility to meet yourself, with compassion, where you are right now.     Take responsibility for your wellbeing. Accept that you're responsible for your emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.  Set healthy boundaries. Know when it's appropriate to say yes and no. Find a balance and honor your boundaries. Celebrate your progress and your wins. Your unconscious mind is like a small child. The more you communicate to your unconscious mind what you want, what you like, how you want to feel, the more it will bring the essence of those things into your experience.   Self-love is so much more than feeling good. It's about having a deep appreciation for yourself and meeting yourself where you are right now.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Mind Revolution episode “My 5 Daily Practices for Making it a Great Day” Check out our freebies that will help you with emotional self-care   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Part of being human is having a desire for evolution and change. We are seekers of constant improvement. Sometimes change is hard to come by because there's no clear path to go from where we are to what we want. This is where determination and resolve come in handy.   I think it's safe to say that if you're reading this, you want to take charge of making changes in your life.    You're ready to take an active role in creating what you want in your life experience.    Great — taking ownership of your success journey will require a few things that when you apply consistently will make success a reality faster than you might think.    You must have the potential for change. Nothing will happen without it. So, How do you know if you've got potential for change? You feel unsatisfied with things in your life experience and have a nagging thought you're meant for more. You have a curious mind. You have an ability and desire to learn. You're ready to take responsibility for the 4 things you can control: Your thoughts — Your thoughts lead to your focus which leads to your outcomes. If your thoughts aren't leading to successful outcomes, you can change them to something that better serves you. Check out our free resources linked in the show notes. Your emotions — Emotions are communication from your unconscious mind. Learn from them, process them, and get into feel-good states. Your language — The words you speak and the words in your mind matter. Use positive, toward language to speak to the things you want and how you want them (not about what you don't want). Your actions — Take consistent action that aligns with the success you want. The key is to do it consistently and with intention. Be at cause. This is the essential NLP frame for empowerment.When you decide to take ownership of your outcomes, you become more aware of your state, environment, and the outcomes you're currently getting. The empowerment frame teaches that you are the sum of your conscious and unconscious choices. So if you want to know how you're doing, just look around what's going on internally and externally. There's no blame here — only the knowledge and awareness that you have a choice in the matter. And when you know better, you can do better. Awareness leads to inspired action, which leads to more resources, more knowledge, and opportunities for creating lasting change. Then you'll be ready to create the change you seek by doing the following: Focus on what you want with complete abandon. Don't get frustrated if it's not your life experience right now. Maintain focus on the desire for the sheer joy of wanting it. Speak to what you want. Using positive, toward language creates momentum. Simply say it the way you want it. Take action that aligns with your goals. Be at cause by paying attention to your moment-to-moment experience.   This is simple, but it isn't easy. My coaching programs help clients get to success more quickly. But can you do it on your own? Absolutely! I did. And you'll find many free resources here to support you on your journey. Own your journey. You've got this.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Soulful Business Revolution Program — open for enrollment now 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough Mind Revolution episode The Life-Changing Power of Redefining Deserving Check out our free resources!

Are you deserving of all good things?   Deep down, do you FEEL deserving?   When I asked the folks in my Abundance Breakthrough that question, I got a mixed bag of answers. Some people said yes, others said sometimes, and some said, “I feel like I have to earn my deserving.”   Many of us grew up with ideas from religion or household rules or other life philosophies about deserving being a prerequisite to having good things, so it's understandable that the idea of deserving is deeply ingrained in many of us. Deserving presupposes that we have to achieve, do, or prove something to be worthy of having what we want.     Here's my next question: Who decides what or how much you deserve?   Here are some sobering things I've observed about the concept of deserving: Deserving assumes we have to do something to have good things. And if you don't do those things, then you don't deserve the good things you want. If we've done “good,” then we might feel entitled to those good things — like somebody owes us something. Then entitlement puts us at effect because we're expecting people or situations outside of ourselves to fulfill a desire. A feeling of deservingness can lead to inaction. If we feel like we're already deserving, it can lead to an I-should-already-have-it attitude and a failure to take action toward what we want.  The concept of deserving can result in justification for bad behavior. “I deserve this, so I'm going to just take it.” Deserving can lead to self-sabotage. “I've been good lately, so I'm going to cheat on my diet today. I deserve this.”   What if instead of working to be deserving you believed that:    You don't “deserve” abundance in the same way you don't “deserve” scarcity.   You don't “deserve” good health in the same way you don't “deserve” disease.   You don't “deserve” love in the same way you don't “deserve” pain.   You don't “deserve” success in the same way you don't “deserve” failure.   Think of how your focus would shift and how you would use your time and energy.    I help my clients unlink the concept of deserving from anything they want to achieve all the time because that narrative is outdated and irrelevant. We would be better served by focusing more on congruence and alignment with the abundance and worthiness inherent within each of us.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough Check out our free resource for rewriting limiting beliefs   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

According to the principles of NLP, you're living two realities — your internal reality and the external reality. And your external reality is going to align with your internal reality. This is why you've heard me say if you want to know how you're doing on the inside, look at what's happening in your environment.    My clients are “getting” this, and they know to look inward when they don't like what's happening in their environment.   Case in point — one of my clients is in an industry that requires her to make telephone sales calls. She had been given multiple verbal yeses from potential clients, but these prospects hadn't signed on the bottom line. So she had verbal agreements but nothing concrete.   Upon reflection, she had a lightbulb moment. Her prospects were not following through with their verbal commitments in the same way that she was not following through with making her sales calls.   Boom!   This is how it happens. What's happening internally will be reflected in your environment.   Remember that the unconscious mind is highly moral. It will be faithful to the morality it's been taught. And I would bet that most of us came from upbringings where we were expected to honor our commitments. And if we didn't, there may have been some sort of punishment.    If that's the case for you, your unconscious mind can “discipline” you when you fail to meet your commitments or honor your decisions. “Discipline” can show up in a myriad of ways. And if you're paying attention, you can find the connections and make corrections. Remember that your unconscious mind's job is to get you back on track as defined by what it knows to be true.    And when you honor your decisions by taking action… You create the container for that action. It may be awkward and uncomfortable at first when you haven't done it consistently. But the more you do it, the more your container,  the more comfortable you'll be with the change.  Because perception is projection, the people in your space will honor your decisions too. And sometimes, you'll see them begin to honor their commitments too.   One of my clients likens this process to a phoenix rising. Honoring your decisions and commitments builds momentum and strength and the internal conviction that “I keep my commitments.” Before long, you'll have an attitude of “What else can I do? What's next?”          Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   21-day NLP Abundance Breakthrough   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Evolving, growing, transforming — this is what the people in my space want (and they're doing it!) Change is beautiful and thrilling, and it comes with some challenges.   When you're ready to create change, your unconscious mind will begin to show you all the ways that what you're currently doing doesn't work. And let me tell you, that can feel frustrating. But it's just your unconscious mind confirming for you that growth is in order. While uncomfortable, this is just part of the growth process. So it's probably a good idea to expect and embrace it. It means that your unconscious mind is getting on board — which is great news!   This discomfort is what can propel you to take action in the direction of what you want. The first step can be especially difficult because your nervous system is learning and evolving to accommodate the growth you're seeking.    This is why taking those first steps can be painfully uncomfortable.   I've made two big changes in my career, and both times my new choices were uncomfortable until I learned the way around this expanded version of me. Recording and publishing my first podcast was so scary! But after doing it a few times, it was no big deal. And now I record and release episodes with speed. No sweat. When I decided to get more visible and start creating videos on Instagram — yikes! I was so nervous! Now that I've done it, though, I'm becoming more comfortable. I feel as if my brain is expanding and supporting me, and I'm even having fun with it.   What changed? Two things.  I took (external) action.  I had (internal) growth.    Our nervous systems have a tremendous ability to change when things in our environment begin to change. But in order for change to occur, we must do some things differently. Our  internal growth is fueled the action we take during times of change. And evolution of our neurological container (the nervous system) can and does compel us to action. In other words, action, growth, and evolution go hand in hand.   To be successful in making changes in business: Don't compare yourself to the outliers in your industry. You shouldn't expect the same results as someone who has been working at their business for years or has a massive email list when you're a few months in. Model them, sure. But don't compare.  Learn to sell by listening and using language effectively. (This is where the NLP Selling Series comes in!) Become more visible to grow your business — share content regularly, show your face on social media, try out video. Don't worry; people are not nearly as interested in what you do or look like as you are.  Persevere. Keep going. Take the next step. As you do, your nervous system will evolve to support you. Honor your vision. By giving it energy By learning new things By getting better each day   Change is indeed hard. And you might feel like it's not the right time because you've never done this before. I've got to break it to you… There's no such thing as a right time when your brain hasn't done it before. Embrace the discomfort to embrace the growth. You and your vision are worth it! And I'm here to support you on your journey. Let's do this!     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   21-day NLP Abundance Breakthrough   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

People are social creatures, and we organize ourselves into cultures, societies, governments, groups. And here's the thing about these groups — most people here are living in a self-sacrificial environment. At an unconscious level, we're taught that the individual is subservient to the group, and the group is more important than the individual.   Is it any wonder that most of us have a hard time embracing our desires and dreams when we've been conditioned to feel guilty and selfish if we expend too much energy going after what we want?   In today's episode, we scratch the surface of Clare Graves' Values work. Clare Graves' work is less about individual values and more about thinking systems. The foundational values level systems are rooted in self-sacrifice or aggressive, shoot-myself-in-the-foot type of self-expression.    It's not until Values Level (VL) 5 (there are at least 8 values levels) that we get into expressive values with win-win scenarios. It's a level where individualistic, “selfish” behavior isn't viewed as being at odds with the group's prosperity. This is huge! Especially for entrepreneurs, coaches, and commissioned salespeople.     It's my goal to help all of my entrepreneurial clients and students transition into a solid VL5. Here you can begin to really live — guilt-free — from a place of abundance, of recognizing that it won't take anything away from anyone else. And the nature of VL5 allows for more curiosity which usually leads to more introspective work and deeper spiritual connections.   Is Values Level 5 all there is? Hardly. But according to Clare Grave's model, we can't fully evolve to more complex levels until we've actualized the previous ones. Transitioning out of the sacrificial levels and firmly into a more resourcefully expressive level is key to your personal and financial evolution.    Yep, Values Levels play an unconscious role in your money story. The story creates internal systems and environments that affect your decision-making.    And you can interrupt unhelpful stories by… Remembering that it's just a story Interrupting the story with reject-delete and something that makes you laugh Imagining the power that once belonged to the story is coming back to you, where it belongs Taking action that aligns with what you want   You are the author of your money story. If the story you're currently running isn't serving you, change it.    To learn more about how to do this, join our upcoming 21-day NLP abundance breakthrough. It's free, and it's powerful. Make your money story one that you want to live.      Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   21-day free NLP abundance breakthrough, starting October 6   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

There's no such thing as small changes. All change is BIG.    Some changes might seem small, but when you shift to something outside of your usual patterns or take a path that diverges from your typical choices, that's no small feat. Continue to make small, incremental changes, and you can dramatically change your life's trajectory.    But change is scary because getting out of the comfort zone is uncomfortable.    I always tell my clients that intentional change is optional. You have a right to stay in what's familiar. You're entitled to your away-froms, negative thinking, and limiting beliefs. You can continue to do the same thing and hope that something will change. You can stay right where you are and try to make the most of it.    But the reality is that the comfort zone eventually reveals a certain discomfort. The comfort zone is supposed to be comfortable, but it's also boring and predictable, and it  becomes increasingly unsatisfying.    Why? Because human beings are meant to grow and evolve.    You were meant for change.    “But, Brenda, you already said change is hard and scary.”    Yes, it is. And avoiding change comes with its own baggage. Whether you choose to avoid change or choose to  grow and evolve, there will be discomfort.    There will be discomfort in trying new things and taking chances. And there will be discomfort in staying in the same place. And the choice is yours.    We can learn to reframe the fear of getting outside the comfort zone because there is seldom any real danger involved. The safety that we feel in the comfort zone is usually nothing more than emotional safety. And years of inaction or years of doing the same thing can blind us to the other available options.     My invitation is for you to, first, realize that you have a choice. You can stay where you are, or you can choose to grow. And, second, I invite you to choose the path that helps you expand. Yes, there will be discomfort in the growth, but there will be benefits and newness on the other side of that growth. Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Soulful Business Reboot - 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

To get what we want in life, we need to balance thinking and doing, and connecting emotionally and spiritually with what we want. A lot of the work I do with my clients is about creating the emotional and spiritual space for the things they want in their lives.    This emotional-spiritual collaboration lets us get what we want with a greater sense of ease, purpose, and fun.   The problem is that our internal resources go largely untapped. We simply haven't been trained to cultivate and use them. It's like you have a sports car sitting in the garage, but you don't even know it's there. And all the while, you're sweating on a bicycle around town when you could be driving your sports car.   We have this fantastic, powerful resource inside us, so how can we tap into it?    Often we see things we want and feel a pang inside. Perhaps it feels like jealousy or lack. The next time you feel triggered by seeing something you want, try this:   Step one — Find a sense of trust inside that you have the resources, access to them, and the power to use them to get what you want. You can say, "I use my power to access the resources to create this thing I want."   Step two — Say or write, “I access those resources and use them to achieve what I want.”   Step three — Say or write, “I  assess my outcomes and make adjustments as needed.”   Step four — Say or write, “I trust the process until I reach the desired results.”   Write these steps in a favorite notebook, print them out or take a screenshot. And when you feel triggered by something you want that's not currently in your life experience, go through these steps. With time and repetition, your unconscious mind will tap into your available resources and make way for your desires.    Run this mental strategy with emotions attached. Let your emotions fuel and propel your desires because — remember — emotions are the language of the unconscious mind. Imagine that you're living your desired outcome now. That will help your unconscious mind get on board.   By tapping into your internal resources, you'll see results quickly. Give it a try!   Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Upcoming Soulful Business Reboot — 21-day NLP Abundance Breakthrough   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Over the last week, a theme was running through the people in my space — one of frustration. Many clients and students felt that they were doing all the right things but they weren't getting the outcomes they wanted. It was happening in their businesses, sales, and relationships. By the end of the week, I had to use NLP to release frustration for myself!   If you can subscribe to the NLP idea that you are the sum total of your conscious and unconscious choices and can believe that you can train your unconscious mind, then I've got good news and bad news for you. The bad news: You're responsible for your life experience. The good news: You're responsible for your life experience. And you can shape that life experience by working with your conscious and unconscious minds.    If you feel like you're doing everything you can but the results aren't to your liking, here are some things to consider…   Are you going deep to uncover dominant limiting beliefs? Working on surface-level things can only get you so far. If you feel like you're missing the “abundance gene,” that often means your focus is on lack. Do you have a deep sense of trust that things will work out for you? Do you believe the universe has your back? Do your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, expectations, and behaviors align with the outcomes you seek? Maybe one or two areas are off. Focus on aligning mentally, emotionally, and energetically with your goals. Are you doing mindset work consistently? It's easy to stop when you begin to feel better. The key is to keep doing internal work until feeling good and positive outcomes are the norm. And then keep going to make it even better. Are you doing what you've always done, thinking what you've always thought and expecting things to change? For things to change, your thoughts and actions must align with what you want.    Negative experiences are just letting you know that something like thoughts, beliefs, or emotions are out of balance. And it's easy to get derailed by what's going on in our environments. This is where staying vigilant and consistent with internal work pays off.    The quality of your internal filters is revealed in how you're feeling right now. So, if you feel like you're doing everything you know to do but aren't living the life you crave, perhaps this is an ideal opportunity to make that inward turn to align your thinking, beliefs and expectations with your desired outcomes.    I share this with a sense of compassion because, hey, I've been there. I aim to inspire and empower you by asking, “And now, what are you going to do about it?”  Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Mind Revolution episode Managing Negative Emotions Effectively   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

If you're here, you're probably like most of my clients. You want to have something in your life experience, but it's not here yet. Or, there are some things in your life experience that you don't like.    Bottom line, you want change in your life.    For many of us, things are great in most areas of life, but there are one or two challenging areas. These areas are where our conscious and unconscious minds don't align.    In NLP, we say there are two types of problems: The presenting problem — what's in our sensory awareness The deep structure problem — what's happening underneath in our belief systems. This is the root of the presenting problems.   To achieve the change you're seeking — you need to align your intention and your behavior.    To do this, first, let's clear up some misconceptions:   Misconception 1 - Plan for the future by thinking about the future.  The truth - Your unconscious mind understands the difference between the concepts of “present” and “future”, and while your unconscious mind exists in an ever present “now”, if in your “now” you're thinking of something happening in the future, then you're communicating the essence of “not here, and not yet” to your unconscious mind and that “not yet” can become a thought and manifestation loop.  This is HUGE.   Rather than having thoughts and plans for “someday,” get your unconscious mind primed and ready by imagining that what you want is happening now, in this present moment. Let those feelings percolate in the now.   Misconception 2 - Keep thinking the same thoughts and get better outcomes. The truth - To get different outcomes, your thinking has to change.  When you think of the person with the outcomes that you want, what do they believe? What do they see in their world? How do they spend their time? What behaviors serve them?   Misconception 3 - To create what you want, you have to feel good 24/7. The truth - You live in the real world, and crappy stuff will come into your awareness. You'll have negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. The key is to become aware of them and address them. We can eradicate automatic negative thoughts with some exercises you can find in the freebies section. Tackle them one at a time as you become aware of them. Perfection isn't the goal. Awareness is.    Misconception 4 - You can keep your limiting beliefs and make amazing things happen. The truth - For amazing things to happen, you need to tackle those limiting beliefs, changing the underlying structure that will topple the presenting problems in your world.   This isn't about living a problem-free life. Our world is a mix of positive and negative energy, and it's impossible to be unaffected by the negative. But we can become aware, address it, and do the world to create a more beautiful life. Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube     To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

When you turn on a garden hose, do you wait impatiently for the water to come out of the spout? Of course not.   You know it's coming eventually, so you trust that water's going to pour out of there any second.   When you plug in the hairdryer, do you wonder if it will work? Probably not.   When you drive on a two-lane road, are you afraid that the oncoming traffic will hop into your lane? I hope not.   When you go to bed at night, are you concerned that the sun might not rise in the morning? No way!   We TRUST that these things will happen.   What would happen if we, in a similar way, trust that the universe had our backs? What if we trust the universe with our big desires knowing full well they would show up?   In today's episode, I'm inviting you to adopt a sense of trust and surrender regarding the outcomes that you want, to trust in the power of your unconscious mind and your source (God, the universe, creative energy, etc.) just like you would the force behind the garden hose.    When you turn on the spigot, you know there's a lag time before the water reaches the end of the hose. But the lag doesn't make you doubt that the flow will come. You know you just need to give it a few seconds before you see evidence of the flow.   It's much the same when tapping into the power and abundance of the universe. There's some lag time, but there's no need to fret about the lag. The key is to stay positive in your anticipation and expectation as you focus on your desired outcome. If you start to feel impatient, temporarily shift your focus to something else that will help you get in a feel-good state. The key is to manage your moment-to-moment state as you focus on the essence of what you want. The key is to live as if it's already yours, and that its arrival is certain.   Trust that the universe has your back. The energy flow is always there. And you have the opportunity to co-create with your source.    Let that sink in.    If you're skeptical, that's okay. But what do you think could happen if your unconscious mind believed that the universe could be trusted? Isn't it worth a seven-day experiment to find out?    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   MR116 One Simple Change for Big Results -- on disconnecting the cause and effect   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

NLP places a premium on the ‘L' -- linguistic. Language. The language we use matters. And the language we use gives us all sorts of clues about what we believe.    Today we're talking about two different linguistic assumptions. See if you spot these in your own thinking.   The first is cause and effect, the linguistic structure behind beliefs. It's simply the idea that one thing causes another.  Cause and effect is all about the “how”.  Like I must work hard to have money — meaning HOW does one make money? Oh, by working hard.   Or He must do ____ in order for me to feel loved. Cause and effect thinking can often lead to the next linguistic assumption: complex equivalence.   Complex equivalence occurs when we equate two things as being equal. Making money equals working hard. Or My partner neglects to _____ which means he doesn't love me.   These linguistic assumptions trip us up because instead of focusing on the thing that we want and feeling good, we've linked what we want to something that is uncomfortable or difficult or overwhelming. Maybe you want to see a certain amount in your bank account, and you assume you'll have to take certain uncomfortable steps to get from here to there.    In cases like that, the key is to unlink the feel-good outcome you want from the other assumed steps that don't feel great. Unlink those things and just focus on what feels good.   Just suppose you trained your unconscious mind to completely remove the notion of working hard, and you instead focused your energy on what it would feel to do work you love and receive all the money you need — as two separate things.    And what if you eliminated external factors in order to feel loved, and simply focused on feeling loved?    This is exactly what my clients are doing, and it works!    I know it sounds crazy and maybe a bit pie-in-the-sky. But this is what "allowing” looks like. You focus on the feel-good part and allow the universe to do its part. And if there are steps along the way from here to there that feel good, you can focus on those too for as long as it feels good.   We bring so many assumptions to the table about how things should unfold. And if we could just  let go of the how, the universe can get to work on our behalf and bring us what we want in unexpected ways or with a sense of ease that we didn't realize was possible.   So if you're finding yourself getting caught in the weeds of what it's going to take to get from here to there, unlink that cause-and-effect thinking and those complex equivalences and just focus on the feel-good outcome. I dare you to try it and see what happens.      Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   “It's not here yet…” More about this in Episode 115, Quantum Leap Thinking to Change Paradigms   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

This week is Integration Week inside our Soulful Business Revolution Program which means that I've got more time on my hands. I used this time to revisit an old book that I've read again and again, Price Pritchett's You2. — it's a quick read and so worth the time.    The book reminded me that the fastest way to get from where you are to where you want to be is to work from the inside out. No doubt, there are things in the physical world that will need to change or to happen, but working from the inside out can allow the external changes to happen with much more ease.   Change starts in the mind and emotions. If you can begin with the end in mind and align your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions with your desired outcomes, you'll be able to accomplish them.    As Carl Jung said, your unconscious mind must express itself in your environment via people, circumstances, and events. So, if you want to know what your mind believes to be true, take a look around because your environment is showing it to you 24/7/365. If you like what you notice, keep going. If you want to see something even better, then start doing the focus work and take action that aligns with what you want. Your consistent focus will eventually compel your brain to start making the shifts. And the sooner you get your unconscious mind on board, the better.    We tend to get stuck in a loop and spin our wheels because we repeatedly tell ourselves the same ol' stories. And we keep getting the same outcomes as a result.   It's time to change the story so that you can get a different outcome. Remember, the unconscious mind communicates through stories, symbols, and it loves repetition.    Maybe you're skeptical. That's okay. You can still do the work of thinking about what it would be like to be the receiver of the thing that you want, even if you're in doubt. Make it a game. By allowing your mind to go to the positive outcome, you're giving your unconscious mind the tools it needs to get you there.    Consider this: What if your unconscious mind believed what you told it? Wouldn't you choose to tell it something good?    Well, tell it enough times with conviction, and it will believe you. Give it a try.   I invite you to step into your power, into your worthiness. Create your reality by first creating it in your mind. Make it fun. Dream big and let yourself feel the goodness of your dreams becoming your reality. Stay in that state as frequently and for as long as you can. Then watch what happens.        Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   You2 by Price Pritchett   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

I've been studying self-development since learning English as a kid. But I have memories, even as a young girl, of being mesmerized by Gloria Steinem's inspiring messages, seeing her on Mexican TV, as her words were translated into Spanish.    As an adult, my love of self-development led me to breathwork, meditation, books, fitness, and eventually to NLP, and then to coaching others. Over the years, I've evolved and have discovered my why for being here and doing what I do. It's what lights me up and gives my life meaning.    I haven't always known my purpose, even though I experienced success in many areas. There was a time when I felt like I had arrived. I was living in a 5,000 square-foot home — just me and my two boys, working long hours, and collecting a lot of things. But I was lacking real purpose and meaning.   My purpose has revealed itself as I've been on my journey. I have evolved and so have my programs and services.    I've become bolder, more true to myself. Some of the clients that I had a couple of years ago wouldn't be my clients today. And that's okay. If there's one thing I've learned, there are many ways to get to where you want to go. I'm embracing the methods that have worked for my clients and me. And I'm going all-in.   I realize that I can't make anything happen for anyone. But I can provide you with resources, a blueprint for success, and support so that you can make things happen for yourself. That's why I offer multiple layers of resources for you to access at whatever level you're ready for. There's this podcast, the free Facebook Community, our Revolution Program, and one-on-one coaching. Each layer is available for you when you're ready for it.    And I'm right there, doing the work with you so that I'm serving as a model.  This allows me to live with purpose and from a place of integrity and authenticity.    “Well, this sounds great, but what if I don't know what my purpose is?”    That's okay! I didn't know for a long time either. I suggest you work from where you are. Maybe you don't know what your purpose is, but you know what it's not. In that case, focus on what it would feel like to be living from your purpose if you knew what it was. In time, with focus work, your purpose will come to you.    The work that you'll find in my programs  requires time and effort. But the overall intention is to make everything easier, more in sync and save you so much time — because you'll be pointed in the right direction — your direction. In the direction of your why.    

Why do negative emotions stick around longer than positive ones?    It's because we're wired with a negativity bias. It's nature's way of keeping us safe. But it doesn't feel good.   Negative emotions have a way of spiraling into more than just negative feelings. What may start out as a negative emotion can lead to a limiting belief, an away-from orientation, negative outcomes, fewer resources, and even a general place of disempowerment that doesn't feel good.   Don't get the idea that negative emotions are useless — they're not! In fact, they're a valuable form of communication from your unconscious mind. And when handled effectively, they can, in a roundabout way, help reorient you in a better direction.    While your life is an emotional and spiritual journey, we usually have to take action to feel better.   Recognize that emotions — negative and positive ones — are going to happen. Emotions are part of being human. Try to observe your emotions at a distance. It may help to imagine that you're floating above the event or watching it on a movie screen. Identify the emotions. Writing them down may help. Acknowledge and take ownership of your emotions. This is especially important if other people are involved. Someone else may have done something, but the emotions are yours. Own them. Take responsibility for what you feel.  Honor the emotions as communication from your unconscious mind. Explore, "What is this telling me? What is this alluding to? What's the evidence here that supports the emotion?" Then explore, "So this is what I'm feeling. What would make it better?” And believe that better is possible. Interrupt the pattern of negative emotions with thinking, “reject-delete,” dancing, reciting a mantra like “this too shall pass,” jumping jacks — whatever gets you in a good mood. After the negative emotion has passed, identify the trigger.  Then focus on intentionally and consistently creating positive states. This will put you at cause.   The purpose of all this is to help you feel better. Because when you can feel better, you can do better. Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   Check out our freebies!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn  

Some people are into hobbies like writing, painting, music, or fitness.    Me? I'm into self-improvement. Self-improvement is my thing, and it's been my jam for a long time. As a teenager, I read self-help books for fun. I even put myself in therapy when I was 17. My mom found out when she got a call from Kaiser. So, yeah, that was me, feeling the desire, even as a teen, to gather as many tools and resources as possible to better myself and my life.   You might not be a self-development junkie to the extent that I am, but virtually everyone in my space is here because they want to realize something in their life that's not yet present.    And if you've been in my space for a while, you know that I preach doing the work. The work involves focusing on what you want so that you can enlist your unconscious mind in the process of manifesting your dreams.    If you've been doing that, and you're still waiting to see the fruits of your focus, this episode is for you.    Doing the work and waiting for results can be frustrating. In a recent Soulful Business Revolution session, one client arrived feeling very frustrated. She made it known that she was tired of “doing the work” and not seeing the results. Most of us could relate. And it makes sense on account of quick-fix promises everywhere we turn.    But there's a vital component of “doing the work” that we can't skip. For your unconscious mind to align with your conscious desires, you need to align with the energetic qualities of what you want to create while doing the work. This means staying in a positive mindset, which makes staying in feel-good and empowering states so very important.    When you think about your goal, if you feel upset or annoyed that it's not here yet, your unconscious mind links your “not here” thoughts and feelings with your desired goal and the waiting period is just going to take longer, which then perpetuates the “not here” essence. The big problem is that at some point, your unconscious mind can absolutely generalize the association of “not here” with all of your desired outcomes, and before you know it, “not here” can easily become the norm.   Another client proposed a beautiful reframe for this situation. The work and the waiting time are creating space for what's to come. That reframe can shift feelings of impatience and a sense of lack to anticipation and excitement.    Think of your waiting time like building a nest. There's work to do, but it's all in anticipation and expectation of the beautiful life that's to come. Think of the “creating space” time like making preparations for a welcomed guest. The preparations you're making create a positive sense of anticipation and expectation.   Positive feelings about your goals are what prepares you to receive the fruits of your desires. So being keenly aware of your state is crucial. It's one of the most important things you can do to achieve the outcomes you want.      Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Soulful Business with NLP Facebook Community Links from today's episode:   Take on Sales with Brenda and Maxine -- new podcast coming soon! Check out our freebies for ways to help manage your state   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn  

There's a powerful tool in NLP called the negotiation model. The idea — it's easier to reach an agreement the more ambiguous the concept up for debate is - think of something like “dinner”, chances are everyone in your family can agree that having dinner is a good thing. . Get more specific about what's for dinner, and it's harder to reach a consensus.   The goal of the negotiation model is to reach agreement with as much specificity as possible. When there's disagreement, the model says to scale back to something a little more ambiguous until you reach agreement.    In today's episode, we focus on using the negotiation model to reach agreement between your conscious and unconscious minds.    Goals and plans originate in the conscious mind, but it's the conscious and unconscious minds working together that bring those plans to fruition. If you're not living your conscious goals and dreams, your unconscious mind isn't completely on board. And the way you know is that the unconscious mind, by need, will express itself in your environment, circumstances, and events. So, it's always telling you what your current agreements are.   Your life experience is your unconscious mind showing you how you're doing on the inside.   The million-dollar question is, how can we get the unconscious mind to embrace conscious goals, plans, and desires?   Use the negotiation model. Here's how…   Remember that logic and reason is in the domain of the conscious mind, and the unconscious mind communicates through emotions, symbols, metaphors, and stories.   If making specific plans leaves you feeling anxious and uneasy, your unconscious mind is resistant to those plans at that level of specificity. To gain agreement, shift to more ambiguity.    Here's how…   Ask, “What's the achievement of my goal going to do for me?” Sit with that for a while, and if it feels too far-fetched, go to another level of ambiguity by asking another question, “What would the achievement of my goal make me feel?”    Your work is to stay in the good-feeling space long enough to go back to more specificity and again ask “What's the achievement of my goal going to do for me?”. You then stay in specificity for as long as it feels good, and go up to ambiguity to feel better, and so on. Before you know it opportunities and resources will make an entrance and achieving your goals will follow.    And this, my friend, is the work you've heard me talk about so many times. This is it. It's getting the unconscious and conscious minds into agreement through focus and visualization. Do this three times a day for 10 minutes at a time, and your life will change.    It's not easy. One client calls it reframe hell because it takes conscious effort and focus. But it's powerful and effective. And with your unconscious mind on board, you can truly achieve what you consciously want. Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube     To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Recently, I surveyed 40 people, and every one of them cringed when we talked about sales and money.   These are people who are interested in growing a business — why would they have such a reaction? Business owners need sales to make money and money makes a business a business.   NLP teaches that the unconscious mind is “a highly moral being,” meaning it upholds beliefs. And the morality your unconscious mind works so hard to uphold is the one that you've taught it through your beliefs. The problem is that many of us have deeply rooted, limiting beliefs like…   “Money is hard to come by.” “I never have enough.”  “Selling feels icky.”   And your unconscious mind is doing the work to uphold those beliefs and giving you the real-life manifestation of them in your world. The result is that you're living the essence of your beliefs. If your beliefs are positive and lead to you having what you want, then that's fantastic. If they don't, it's time to get to work and teach your unconscious mind what you want instead.    In business, things can get sticky because your unconscious mind has also adopted some ideas about selling.   “Salespeople are sleazy.” “Salespeople are pushy.” “Selling is greedy.”   To effectively sell and grow your business, you've got to get your unconscious mind on board with an improved morality (mindset) about selling.    Here are 3 powerful ways to start making that shift:   Learn to sell with congruence, integrity, and ecology — meaning it's good for you, good for the other person, and good for others impacted by the transaction. Practice selling. Find someone you trust and practice role-playing. I know this can feel uncomfortable, but the more you practice, the more your unconscious mind will get on board. Remember, the unconscious mind loves repetition.   Allow yourself to be on the receiving end of sales conversations. A good salesperson can be sold to. This might seem counterintuitive. Don't they know the tricks of the trade? Sure, but more importantly, a good salesperson is open and understands win-wins.   In today's episode, you'll hear about the time I wanted to buy a bottle of fancy olive oil and walked out with four bottles of different types of oils and vinegar. The salesperson sold me on them. Was I a sucker? Hardly! My family gobbled up the salad I made for them. I won big, just like the store owner. Sure, I didn't walk into the store intending to purchase four bottles, but I was open. And in the end, I made a fabulous choice for myself and my family. And, of course, the seller was happy too. We all won.     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today's episode:   The episode on Imposter Syndrome   To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

For the last week or so, I've been reflecting on my first job at age 16. I got a job at Carl's Jr. (a fast food restaurant) to carry customers' trays from the counter to their tables. I also made sure the dining room was tidy and kept an eye on the stock levels of the ketchup packets and napkins.   I wanted to do the best job I possibly could.   Before long, I took care of the customers in the entire large dining room on my own — and got tips! Have you ever seen someone tip a fast-food restaurant worker? Well, it happened to me, and it happened often   I didn't hover around the customers, but I kept an eye on things. I was looking for what I needed to do as well as what I could do. I was looking for ways to create a more enjoyable dining experience. People noticed, and they rewarded me with cash tips that lined my pockets.    I've carried that same servicial (Spanish for helpful) spirit into my work today. It's just part of who I am. And that spirit helps me stay in rapport with my clients.    What's rapport? It's the process of matching and mirroring another person until the process becomes unconscious, and then BAM! You're in rapport with your person. And when you're in rapport with another human, it's natural to feel at ease, to relax, and feel wonderful in their company, and they in yours.    A few NLP principles are particularly helpful in aiding my ability to be in and maintain rapport with my clients:   Perception is projection. Everyone is doing the best they can. The meaning of communication is the response you get. The map is not the territory.   Blend these principles together, and you have a recipe for seeing yourself in your clients, accepting them, and genuinely desiring to be of service to them.    You'll be able to…   Care deeply about who you serve and hold onto the vision of the thing they're wanting. Establish rapport in easy and effortless ways. Get plugged into their vision of their future. Check-in with them regularly in an authentic way.   All of this translates into genuine care and concern for your clients. Once you cultivate this spirit, it won't even feel like work. There's no better way to effortlessly retain your clients.     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

When people join my 12-month mentorship and coaching program, they have a goal or dream in mind. They know what they want, and they join to get help to take them there. They come excited, ready, and willing to do the work to bring their dreams to life.    A principle in NLP is ‘the map is not the territory,” meaning that while we can agree that reality exists, our individual version of reality is subjective and will never ever be the same as someone else's.   Have you ever heard someone say, “That's the truth?”, based on the principle that the map is not the territory, the truth, is really their truth. Each person's perspective of that reality is unique based on internal filters dictated by their beliefs, values, memories, emotions, and experiences.    This makes their truth feel very real.    Just as we can change the filters of a Google map to see the street, satellite, or terrain view, our internal “map” acts like a filter. We don't see the whole picture. The whole picture would be all of reality. But our filters keep us from seeing reality in its entirety. Our “map” is only part of the story.   Just like a Google Map, we can change the view of our internal “maps.”   What does this have to do with growing your business and personal development?    Your map needs to expand.   I've learned the hard way that the best way to expand beyond our current “map,” or comfort zone, is to align the unconscious mind with the conscious desires through positive, toward language and by focusing on the essence of what you want.    Transitioning from here to there can be an uncomfortable process, but it doesn't have to be painful. Change can be uncomfortable and exhilarating, inspiring, motivating, and fulfilling — all at the same time.  Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Change is hard, no matter its source. Some types are harder than others. And all types can be life-changing in a positive way. I see three types of change in my clients: You’re starting something new. You’re ready to start that business or embrace a new career or leave your comfortable gig for something else. This type of change involves leaving the Comfort Zone and creating new neural pathways that will support your success. It takes effort.  You’re in a phase of growth. You’re accumulating tools and resources to grow personally and professionally. You’re in the Growth Zone. You already have the neurology to go after your goals. You’re building on top of your previous successes -- enriching your relationships, getting to a new level of physical health and strength, taking your business to the next level. When you’re in this phase of change, it’s self-initiated. You choose to grow. You choose to change. You’re forced to change. This is turbulent change. Life happened and you were, to some degree, caught off-guard. Divorce, a death, loss of a job, a breakup, a tragic accident... You didn’t choose this path of change. Life forced it on you. And you’re likely in survival mode. You’re in the Danger Zone. It’s a difficult place to be. But don’t despair. Turbulent change can lead to wonderful personal transformation, and you can get momentum that can propel you to a better place, built on a new, better foundation, one that is aligned with your values and beliefs.  How to make the most out of changework, no matter the source? Start right where you are and acknowledge all the scary unknowns. I don’t typically advocate penning down scary stuff because we want to focus on the positive. But there’s a place for acknowledging and even writing down the worst thing that could happen, look at it squarely in the face, and determine if it’s something likely to happen, possibly could happen, or is unlikely to happen. Sometimes this simple exercise reduces a threat to something that is extremely unrealistic or even laughable.   Identify opportunities. What are the potentials and possibilities wrapped up in this change? Take a step in the direction you want to go. Take action. Each win, each success will breed more wins and more success as you build your neural framework. I’m not saying it’s easy. But the steps are simple, and you’re worth it.  Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn    Links from today’s episode: Episode 2 -- We learned about internal representations Episode 3 -- We learned about perception is projection Episode 7 -- We learned about the Comfort Zone, the Growth Zone, and the Danger Zone Episode 16 -- Find the Ten-Step Problem-Solving Formula   To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

I look to the people in my space — private clients, those in the Soulful Business Revolution program, and those in the private Facebook group — for inspiration before I recorded this podcast. One thing that’s been coming up lately is the concept of balance. And, wow, we can really be hard on ourselves when we feel like we’re missing the mark.   I believe that the best way to view “balance” is to see it as a concept to aim for because perfect balance doesn’t exist in real life. Our lives are in a constant state of flux and change, and so the balance point is always shifting and moving.   But, believe me, balance is a concept worth striving for. Maybe you’ve heard me say that the balance between doing and being leads to your having.    That bears repeating — the balance between doing and being leads to your having.   I’ve observed that most of us tend to favor one side or the other — doing or being. Some of us do, do, do, do, and we don’t focus on being enough. We’re caught up in doing all the things and trying to do them perfectly. Our focus is all over the place, and it’s easy to fall into confusion and overwhelm. We feel a need to control everything and for things to be just so, and when things don’t work out, we often feel disappointed, resentful, and angry.   Then there are those of us who favor the being side. We focus on the internal so much that the external falls by the wayside. This leads to lethargy, a lack of movement, and avoidance. And we end up feeling stuck.    Whether you’re too much on the doing or the being side, you’re at effect. Somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot where we have internal processing with an external check.    Finding the theoretical balance — let’s just call it the intention of balance — begins with awareness. You’ll feel most balanced when you... Have intentions and goals that are worthy of you and what you want Set ecological outcomes that align with who you are Focus on what you want Manage your state Use positive, toward language   In the process, give yourself grace and take action. Slow down and recenter when you need to. When you feel re-aligned, get back to the doing. The dance of being and doing will lead to the outcomes you desire.   Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Episode 32 — the Truth about Overwhelm Learn about direction filters from Episode 4   To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

My life and business are about achieving outcomes — in my life and the lives of my students and clients. I’ve discovered some patterns related to the way we go about transforming our lives and pursuing outcomes.   These are observations from my life and those in my space, so we’re talking about a group of go-getters who desire personal growth and transformation. These are people with goals, ambitions, and a desire for excellence.   Spoiler alert: You can achieve success and positive outcomes with all of the following combinations, but the winning combination is the one that feels the best in the pursuit of the goal, the one that allows for sustained success — is the last one.   Combination #1: You believe you’re special, magnificent, and worthy — which is great. But instead of taking action and doing the things that align with what you want, you’re waiting for the universe to manifest success for you. You may be waiting for signs that the time is right. This results in a lot of positive thinking but very little doing. There’s a lack of energy and movement and no momentum.     Combination #2: You do all the things, and you want to do them perfectly. But you don’t yet believe in yourself. You’re doing things because someone told you they’d work. You’ve been educated about the “winning strategy,” and you’re ready to execute, following the protocol to a T — but you’re in self-doubt and uncertainty. The work feels mechanical, you get bogged down in the weeds, and then you find yourself in analysis paralysis, unable to complete what you started. You feel too exhausted to break out of your comfort zone.    Both Combination #1 and #2 leave you in self-doubt, uncertainty and can lead to fear, feelings of imposter syndrome, and mediocre results that are lackluster and not very satisfying.   Combination #3 (aka the winning combination): You start by believing in yourself and your magnificence and worthiness. Your belief in yourself is the foundation. Then you take intentional — almost methodical action. The winning combination involves gathering the internal and external resources you need and aligning those resources with the outcomes you want. Then the results will come on their own — especially if you adopt the following formula to turbocharge your pursuits.    Have a pursuit that’s worthy of who you are Be willing to do the hard stuff Be willing to be unreasonable when it comes to achieving your goals Be willing to learn new things Be consistent    These will keep you feeling fueled and energetic in whatever you pursue. Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Books by Wayne Dyer   Women Who Love Too Much Reviving Ophelia   MR E001 — We learned about the brain’s filtering process MR E002 — The Power of Perception MR E031 — The Narrow Raod to Achieving Excellence   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Magic bullet promises are everywhere – on your phone, your desktop, and your television. Everywhere you look there’s an offer of an easy fix to lifelong problems. While the promise is alluring, we have to dig deeper to find the evidence of true results. We’re bombarded with quick-fix messages that tell us that…   if you do this one thing, you're going to have this amazing result one email can absolutely dramatically shift your business one Facebook Live is going to get a bunch of people to enroll in your program if you follow this eating plan for a week, you'll drop 30 pounds if you take that this pill, everything you want is going to be in your experience if you follow this advice, it’ll solve all your problems   So many promises, but it never really pans out that way, does it? Magic bullets may sell, but they don’t do much else besides leave us disappointed and looking for someone or something to blame for unfulfilled expectations.     I’ve bought plenty of programs, taken courses, and read books, and while some did provide a piece of the overall puzzle, they certainly didn’t offer an enduring solution.   The danger of the magic bullet mindset is those unrealistic expectations, when unfulfilled, leave us feeling stuck because, after all, this was supposed to be quick and easy, right? When reality sets in and we find that creating change is downright difficult, we feel overwhelmed, like we’re failures.   The winning formula for success is focusing on what you want and doing the work. For my clients and students, that means showing up for our sessions and staying accountable to tasks at hand. It means intentionally reprogramming the nervous system to believe in your capacity for magnificence. It means learning from others who have gone before you. It means taking action that aligns with their goals.   And it means doing the heavy lifting of being consistent and disciplined in staying focused and doing the work. That is where the magic of personal evolution happens.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   The 10-Step Problem-Solving Formula and other Freebies   To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Part of your brain’s job is to keep you safe. One way your brain attempts to keep you safe is by alerting you to threats and dangers through a strong emotion — fear.   It’s important to remember that fear and danger are two different things.    Just because we feel fear doesn’t mean there is an inherent threat or we’re in imminent danger. Many times — a threat is perceived but not at all real.   And sometimes, what feels like fear is really just the discomfort we feel from pushing against our comfort zone’s boundaries. Anything new, anything we’re unaccustomed to doing, will feel uncomfortable and scary at first.   Don’t get me wrong. Fear isn’t the bad guy here.    Fear serves an essential purpose of alerting us to dangers and threats. It also alerts us to where there’s a difference taking place. Doing something different — even if it feels amazing and is a step in the direction of a big goal — can send signals of danger to the body. “Be careful! This is different and unfamiliar!”   Bottom line: We need to manage fear.    When you feel fear… Backtrack, if necessary, to identify the source of the fear. Determine whether the fear is real or just a perception.  Remind yourself that your growth is inevitable and that you can choose how you grow and comfortably manage the growth process. Commit to the growth you’re seeking. Do as much as you can to move forward — and then do just a little bit more. Focus on the long-term benefits of what you want.   This episode is about carrying on in the face of fear. We cover perceived fears and significant emotional events. You’ll also hear me share a story about my dog, Gunner, and how a scary experience I had with him bled over into other areas of my life. Of course, you’ll also learn how I processed and moved past it.    Yes, I still have fears. It’s part of being human. The important thing is that we don’t make decisions from a place of fear. It takes awareness and processing. You can do it, and I’ll show you how!     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Mind Revolution Episode 17 — The Ripple Effect of Significant Emotional Events Mind Revolution Episode 103 — How you Know IT is Happening   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

If you’re like most listeners, you’re on a self-development journey. Perhaps you have a big, juicy goal or dream you want to realize. And you’re doing the work to achieve it.   A student asked me recently, “Does ‘doing the work’ mean a lot of paperwork?”   No.    ‘Doing the work’ focuses on what you want, saying it the way you want it, taking action that aligns with your goals, staying consistent, walking that narrow path to your excellence, and doing it consistently.    That is ‘doing the work.’   Until the unconscious mind gets on board, it takes a lot of conscious effort to make changes.    And it’s not unusual for my clients and students to do the work for a while and then begin to wonder, “Where’s my big, juicy goal? When will it happen?”   I’ve seen many transformation journeys, and I’ve observed patterns that serve as indicators that transformation is indeed happening and that you’re getting closer to your big goal. Here’s what you can expect on your way to realizing your big dream.   You’re going to feel better. You will feel calmer. What used to upset you won’t bother you so much. You’ll find that you’re more patient with yourself and with others. You’ll take responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, language, and behavior. You’ll be able to communicate with others in healthier ways. People will want to be around you more. Since you recognize what you can and can’t control, you’ll be less stressed out and more enjoyable to be around. You will be kinder and more gentle with yourself. You will begin to value yourself. Random good things will happen to you — like unexpected money, job opportunities, getting a great deal, stumbling upon something new that makes you happy. Life gets easier in general. Ideas and resources come into your life in seemingly effortless ways. You will get more yeses than no’s.   This is the pattern I’ve seen over and over again. Once the above have transpired, your big goal or dream is right around the corner. The challenge will be to allow your vision to unfold in the highest way possible.    My advice to you: Keep doing the work because IT is happening!  Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram, and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Mind Revolution Episode 1, Your Magnificent Mind — learn about the 50-60 bits of information Mind Revolution Episode 3, The Power of Perception Mind Revolution Episode, 4 Things You Can Control     To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

A while back, I wanted to get a Ph.D. in psychology. I didn’t have a bachelor’s degree, so it was going to take a while. So Ron asked, “Why don’t you learn how to do something else where you can help people?”   Then I remembered that my Ph.D. therapist had decided to become a life coach; I trained as a life coach in 2006 to better serve my real estate clients (weird, I know, but it worked!). At that time, I discovered a thing called “NLP.” As I read more, I felt intrigued and a little apprehensive, so I let the thought of learning more about it fade into the background in my mind.    Later in 2009, I took a teaser course on NLP and loved it, but still, let it fade into the background… It wasn’t until I met an actual NLP coach that I got curious enough to give serious consideration to the NLP side of things, and I decided to get trained in NLP… and the rest is history. Here I am today as a master coach and trainer.   This podcast is like an open book of someone (me) who has taken their successful one-on-one, belly-to-belly coaching business and moved it into an online group setting. I’m sharing what I’m doing and how I’m doing it. You can learn right along with me what works and what doesn’t. Welcome to my what-you-see-is-what-you-get world where you see the real me in action.   As my students hear me say regularly, I’m right here doing the work with you.   Today, we’re talking about three superpowers you have right now that can be harnessed for your success. The beauty of these three is that the first superpower naturally unfolds into the second, which leads to the third. It’s like a cascade. But it all starts with this first superpower:   Your mindset. This includes your thoughts, beliefs, expectations, and attitudes. Working on my mindset is the most important thing in my life. Of course, I love my kids, Ron, and my work. But my mindset affects every single aspect of my life. It can make everything else wonderfully wonderful or wonderfully dreadful. Your mindset is the genie in the bottle that you’ve been wishing for. It just needs to be tended and managed. Trust. Trust is a superpower that will naturally flow from a positive mindset. When you know that you’ll get what you focus on, that will naturally lead to trust. When you have cultivated a positive, at-cause mindset, you can trust that things will work out for you.  Being authentically you. Being your true self will naturally follow once you have the mindset and trust. When you have the mindset and you can trust, it’s no longer scary to be vulnerable. You can own your imperfections and share what you’re learning. Being authentic is not a license to vent. It’s an act of service, and it empowers others to be themselves as well.   I don’t have the words to explain how big these superpowers can be. Cultivate your mindset and see where it leads. Your mindset spills into trust and then moves you to be your beautiful, authentic self — and then that will have a trickle-down effect on others.  Embrace your superpowers. They’re already within you!          Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Episode 40, the Imposter Syndrome episode   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

When I set my mind on something, I go out and make it happen. I feel quite successful, and then I do it again. I did this with my real estate business and my one-on-one NLP breakthrough coaching.    Then, something happened.    I found myself feeling this undeniable urge to make a greater impact and reach a larger number of people. So I decided to take my in-person business online.   Only I didn’t know the online space. As far as the nuts of bolts of making this online business thing work, I was starting from scratch.    It looked easy enough, though. If I got a website up, people would start flocking to it and I’d book clients right there on my website, right?     Well, that wasn’t my experience — at all. Hardly anyone noticed my website at first.     The high-rollers, and online business big-names, those who have been hugely successful online, make it look easy because they’ve already put in the time to figure out the nuts and bolts.    But when you’re just starting, not only do you not know the nuts and bolts, you don’t have the neurological container for this new phase. No “blueprint” or “strategy” is going to build the neurological container for you.   This is why when you hear about overnight success — it’s seldom truly that. The difficult ground-breaking work happens when no one else is looking.    So, what do you do when you’re craving more soul-filling work that requires a new container?  Here are three mindset shifts to get started:   Recognize that success takes time. Build your neurological container by working on your mindset — a mindset that you’re able to learn what you need to know, that you can be consistent, successful, and you have something of value to share.  Be prepared to deal with the neurological boundary of your comfort zone. When you’re about to break out of where you’ve been, it’s going to feel difficult and uncomfortable (this is a good thing!)   When my students talk about how challenging and long the road to success can be, I reply, “And so what?”. This is a good time to acknowledge that Yes, it’s hard, and ask yourself, how much you want this thing you want.   I don’t mean to sound unkind, I just want to shake them up a bit. I want my students to look at all that happens along the way to their success. You get to work at something you love and believe in. You become a better version of yourself. And you and your dreams are worth it.   Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

This marks my 100th podcast episode, and I’m having all the feels -- of satisfaction, accomplishment, joy, fulfillment...and I’m grateful that you are here, and I’m thankful for each of you who have been part of this fabulous journey with me.   I had been putting off recording this episode for a while, and it was beginning to feel like I was stalling. I knew that I wanted it to be about lessons I had learned from recording 100 episodes, but I wasn’t sure of the direction I wanted to take.   That became clear when I was talking to one of my clients. She was anticipating her third breakthrough with me. Her first breakthrough was around her business, the second around her health, and we were discussing where her third would take her.    As we were looking back at how far she’s come and all the lessons learned... the outline for this episode became clear.   I’ve got seven life lessons I’ve learned from recording 100 podcast episodes. They’re my lessons, and I share them with you so that you can benefit from them too. Here we go.   Accomplishing your big goals won’t be as easy as it seems. When you see something outside of yourself, you’re seeing the end result of a lot of previously done work.    Accomplishing your big goals is going to take more effort than you think. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if you’re not aware of this, when the going gets tough, it can send you into disappointment, feelings of unworthiness, and avoidance strategies. The truth is that all great things usually require more effort than you think. And it’s worth it. Because all the effort you put in will leave you with a deeper belief in yourself.    Speak your mind and your heart. When you’re producing a weekly podcast, what’s inside is going to come out. This isn’t about speaking your truth just to vent. No, it’s about your authenticity shining through. It’s giving the world the gift of you without expecting anything in return.   You embody the work. When you’re teaching your philosophy over and over again, it gets ingrained in your very being in a new way. I am embodying and living the work like I never have before. And it feels great.   Your effort reaps big, beautiful rewards. Among other things, I have been rewarded with a deeper commitment, more meaning and purpose, consistency (my new best friend), and embracing visibility.   You’re always making an impact. Even when you don’t realize it, if you’re showing up, you’re making an impact. Sometimes people give you feedback, and it’s wonderful to hear the positive ways you’re helping others. But they don’t always tell you. Don’t let that deter you. You’re having an impact even when you can’t see it.   It’s all worth it. Commit to getting to your version of “there” and keep going until you get there.. The journey and the transformation along the way are worth it.    I hope these life lessons speak to you and inspire you to take on your journey and to keep showing up. You’re worth it. Your future self will thank you. And your impact will be greater than you can know.  Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Episode 16: What you do is not who you are     To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

My mom is here visiting me this week. We were sitting out back together enjoying a glass of wine, and she said to me, “I think you finally found it. I think you finally found your calling.” She, of all people, knows how long I spent trying to figure out my path. And she’s right — I’ve found it! Actually, I knew this was my calling since I was in my 30’s, but I wasn’t ready to go for because I hadn’t yet done the internal work. The last 5 years, however, have been the most fulfilling. And it’s all because I’ve been doing the work. You see, my identity, who I am, hasn’t changed. It’s just that what I do and how I live my life has become more congruent with who I am and how I want to show up in the world. Notice I said “more congruent,” not perfectly congruent. I’m human too. And this path I’m on is a journey. There will always be more to learn. When our experience doesn’t reflect what we want, our negativity bias can take over and skew our perception of reality and feed illusions we have about ourselves, making us feel deficient and wanting to hide. But the truth is that you have everything you need to become who you really are — the you at your core — which is nothing but pure, positive beauty, love, prosperity, and abundance. And yet, even though we have everything inside, sometimes we feel tentative about stepping out there and showing up.  Here’s a simple 4-step process to support you in embracing your identity, increasing your visibility, and showing up for your audience.  Embrace visibility and show up for the world. As you do, you’ll gradually (or quickly) get out of your head and step into your true, congruent self.     What do I have to learn? What limiting beliefs do I need to eliminate? What can I embrace instead? Do the work of dealing with questions like… Align your energy with the results you want. This process is about embodying the future you. How does your ideal self act in the world?  Stick with the process. There’s no such thing as perfection here. The only perfect thing in the process is who you are at your core. You’re on a journey, forever evolving and growing into who you truly are. Along the way, treat yourself the way you want to your clients or your students or your children to treat themselves — with kindness. Be a model for them. Do the work and be kind to yourself at the same time.  And no matter where you are on the visibility spectrum, whether you have a huge following or you’re “just” living your life in front of your family and close friends, people are already watching. And you’re making a difference. So show up with your purpose in hand, holding it in your heart. Thanks for listening! To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

NLP is all about learning how to control your state intentionally. The tricky thing about negative emotions is that they’re more automatic and more powerful than positive ones, so we have to work more to get into and maintain positive states.  Just like a puppy, the unconscious mind requires training.  One of my clients had a breakthrough recently. She’d been “doing the work,” which involves focusing on what she wants, listening to hypnosis to stay relaxed, paying close attention to her current state, and intentionally making shifts when she wasn’t feeling so great.  She had a couple of weeks where she was just on fire — lots of energy, positivity, and fresh ideas. She felt great! Then, suddenly, she hit a slump.  She was feeling overwhelmed (a negative state) and wasn’t making the time for hypnosis. And then she had an in-your-face manifestation of her state — and it wasn’t pretty. She was convinced it came out of nowhere. But it didn’t.  By the time you notice yourself feeling “off,” you’ve been off for a while.  And unless you can nip that negative state in the bud, your unconscious mind, because it loves to generalize and “cross-pollinate” from one sector of your life to the other, that negative state is will only multiply.  The unconscious mind’s cross-contextual nature explains why we shouldn’t view our lives’ different compartments in a vacuum.  Your relationships can and do impact your health. And your health can and does impact your business. And your business can and does impact your relationships.  Good news — when you gain ground in a seemingly isolated area, it will spill over into other areas as well. This is why when you work to improve your health, your business has a better chance to thrive, and when you intentionally focus on improving your relationships, your body can feel better and more energized. And what does all of this have to do with managing your state? Because if you can manage your state, you're going to be able to manage your outcomes. Here’s how to manage your state, even when you’re feeling short on time: Be aware of your state. How do you feel in your body? Does it feel good? Stay on high alert so that you catch negative states in their early stages. When you’re in a negative state, do some reverse engineering to determine where things took a negative turn. It will usually be something subtle. Begin to reframe and focus on the next best thing that you could feel. For instance, if you’re in disappointment, shifting to joy might be too big a leap. The next best thing might be feeling a sense of ease or relief. Once you’re there, feeling at ease, investigate what would be the next-best thing you could feel. And go from there. The golden nugget in all of this is to manage your state preemptively. Be in tune with yourself and be aware so that you can make those small yet significant shifts along the way.  Thanks for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode: Mind Revolution Episode “5 Daily Practices for Making it a Great Day”   To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Today’s episode is about that voice in your head. The one that second guesses your actions, that says you’re not good enough, that says, “Why do you think that people care about what you have to say?” “Why would anyone want to buy your program?” and even, “Who do you think you are?” That voice is your inner critic.  If you have one — you’re not alone. I recently had a run-in with mine. I launched a program...and it felt like a flop because it didn’t reach my expectations. Now, it wasn’t completely unsuccessful because I did have some wonderful people join our community. But the result was nowhere near what I was hoping for. And my inner critic started laying it on thick. For a couple of days, I was pulling out all my NLP tools to help me break out of those feelings of disappointment and rejection.  What’s interesting is that — as is so often the case — other people in my space were hearing from their inner critics too. What is the inner critic anyway?  NLP teaches us that we sometimes have unintegrated parts. These are parts of your unconscious mind that don’t realize they’re parts of the larger whole of your consciousness. These parts have their own values, their own sets of beliefs, and their own personalities. And when they get triggered, it feels like something awful’s got a hold of you and you can’t get away for its grip. I believe inner critics are just that — a part.  From my own experiences and my clients’ experiences, I’ve learned that it’s helpful to view the inner critic like a child. It’s like a child who’s grown up in a sheltered environment and is sorely lacking in information and experience. Your job is to educate your inner critic, to educate this “child” who doesn’t know any better. I prefer to educate with the “feedback sandwich” method. It looks like this: a hug, followed by a punch, and finished with a hug. Acknowledge the inner critic’s good intention. Inner critics show up to keep us in line (according to their perceptions) and are only trying to protect you. Thank them for that good intention. Then explain that you’ve learned some things your inner critic doesn’t know yet. For instance, you’re deserving of all good things, and you have the resources you need to achieve your goals. Invite the part, the inner critic, to learn these new truths and to come play with the whole of you in this bigger playground, bringing with it that positive intention while expanding its knowledge base. When you can become aware of when the inner critic rears its head and begin to re-educate it, beautiful things can happen.    Thanks for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube Links from today’s episode: Check out the 10 Step Problem-Solving Method in our Freebies section   To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Any transition can feel hard. You’re out of your regular routine, and you sometimes feel off-kilter as you’re juggling change and having to make decisions that you wouldn’t usually be affected by. I recently went through such a time. We put our house on the market in the fall of 2020. We had potential buyers in the home, were in and out of escrow three separate times (with the same buyer), thought we might move to Washington state, then decided on a house in Tennessee (and we bought it site unseen). Thank goodness for Zoom! Our realtor helped us find the right home. We moved on a Friday, and on Saturday, we had a contractor in the house because — well, the house needed some work. Better now than later, right? So things got torn up before they got put back together.  Here we were in a time of instability for months — MONTHS!  Oh, and did I mention that I was in the middle of launching my signature program, restructuring my business, and keeping up with clients? It felt like a crazy time — like I wasn’t on my A-game. We didn’t have a working kitchen for a while, and my eating routine got out of whack, my sleep was off, I found myself at effect in multiple ways. Spoiler alert: We’re getting back to normal. We love our new house! And Ron and I still love each other, still enjoy spending time together. And the dog — well, he’ll adjust. But that time of transition taught me some things.    When you’re going through a hard time, okay is more than good enough. In those times, OK is the best that you can do. Really. A principle of NLP is that we’re all doing the best that we can with the resources we have. And if some of your usual resources aren’t there, don’t beat yourself up if your game is off.  Sometimes saying, “I don’t know,” is the best you can do. And that’s good enough. In times of transition, hold on to the truth that you are wonderful, period. You’re doing the best you can. And that is — it has to be — good enough. Be patient and kind with yourself. Then, when you feel a positive shift in the amount and quality of resources you have, get back to it. You’ve got this.  Thanks for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube   Links from today’s episode: Check out our freebies section The Benefits of Taking a Purposeful Pause    To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Emotions are in the unconscious mind’s domain — and how you’re feeling is one of the ways your unconscious mind communicates with you.  This is great because we get such good information. And emotions are powerful. Not only do they tell you how you’re doing, but they can also motivate, propel, and energize, adding fuel behind a particular direction or goal. This is why state management is so important and is such a key component of NLP. By accepting that all emotions are valid — hey, they’re just your unconscious mind communicating with you — you can learn from them and then move on with more ease. You don’t have to stay in those negative emotions. In fact, you can learn to preemptively manage your state, decreasing your emotional fluctuations. You’ll be more emotionally steady, thus setting the tone for what will most serve you — being calm, steady, and clear-headed. So, how does this work? Practice the following: When you notice a charged emotion, stop and become aware. Try to do this before an emotional state drives you to take any action. Employ “reject-delete” or another pattern interrupt Ask, “What do I want to feel instead?” and recall a time when you felt the way you want to feel.   Having a hard time getting there? Play the ABC game (learn more about this in our Freebies section). Change your physiology by physically moving around. Calm your nervous system and allow that calmness to build. Change the quality of your internal representations so that they feel better. I know this is difficult, but keep practicing. It’s worth the effort! A beautiful thing about these practices is that you can always know if they’re working simply by noticing how you’re feeling, and the things that show up for you.  Once you’re able to control your state, what then?  Cultivate a sense of fun and curiosity around your dreams and goals. Embrace a sense of patience. Get into a state of trusting yourself. If you don’t know what that feels like, imagine what it would feel like. Cultivate a sense of trusting the people in your world. Explore what it would feel like to have compassion. Explore what it would feel like to be in a state of certainty. Explore what it would feel like to finish what you start and to feel fulfilled and satisfied. When you practice intentional state management, you’re going to be in charge of your emotions. This is so powerful. Instead of your emotions controlling you, you're going to be able to achieve the things that you want in a big, powerful way.    Let’s cultivate and then harness those feelings to help us get where we want to go. Thanks for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube   Links from today’s episode: Check out our freebies section to access the ABC game — and more!    To help out the show: Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Do you ever see advertisements that sound something like this, “Join my program and follow my proven formula to achieve a 6-figure income in 12 months!”? Wait a few months, and you might see the same coach upping the promise to a 7-figure income. Now, strategies are great, and we can learn a lot from following one. The problem with following someone else’s template is that you don’t have that person’s identical experiences and mindset. What sort of changes have they gone through to get where they are? What have they had to learn about themselves? What beliefs do they have about themselves and others that have led them to where they are today? If you were to adopt the practices that they have today, now that they’ve achieved success, success is unlikely to come to you because you would be skipping some of the vital, foundational steps that happened in the background. All those invisible changes that the public doesn’t see. I’m talking about unconscious shifts.  You’ve probably heard me say before that you are living your beliefs. You’re living your beliefs right now. So if you want to change something in your world, your beliefs need to change.    Our beliefs are mostly unconscious, and we’re often unable to achieve our conscious goals because of our unconscious beliefs. Our unconscious beliefs create a sort of invisible ceiling and keep us from achieving what we want. Have you ever heard someone say, “I seem to hit an invisible ceiling and can’t seem to make more money”?  Here are five steps to help you break through your unconscious success ceiling:   Identify your fears.  Are you afraid of disappointing others? Afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Afraid of the changes success would bring? To get to the root of fear, ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Then ask, “What else am I afraid of?” two more times and see what comes up.  Tap into your purpose. Know the meaning behind the result you seek. For what purpose do you want success? Get to the root of what motivates you. You’ll initially find some negative reasons. But look for the positive aspects by asking, “What is the best thing that can come as a result of my success?” and then focus on that. Cultivate a positive network. Your current environment is supporting your current outcomes. Change your environment to change your outcomes. Be selective about the shows you watch. Be selective about the conversations you have. Be selective with the company you keep.  Believe that you will achieve your outcomes.  Have big, bold, powerful expectations. Work to change the beliefs that don’t serve you. Identify ways you’re self-sabotaging. Are you engaging in thinking or behavior that contradicts your desired outcomes? Call yourself out on those things and do the opposite.         Remember that the journey toward success is mostly an unconscious one. With some focus and a supportive community, you can create lasting success in a satisfying way! Thanks for listening! To share your thoughts: Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube   Links from today’s episode: The Ten-Step Problem Solving Formula -- find it in the Freebies section!     To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn