Podcast appearances and mentions of Patricia Evans

Listen in this week as I talk with author, Patricia Evans or just Evans.  Evans is truly a renaissance person who has embarked on an interesting life journey that continues today.  We talk about their recent release and their soon to be released novels.  This is one busy writer!

In today's episode, we delve into a profound concept known as "the Teddy Bear Effect," which provides insight into manipulative expectations within abusive relationships.The "Teddy Bear Effect" stems from Patricia Evans' analogy in her book Controlling People. It's about how abusers create an unrealistic version of their partner, treating them as if they were a teddy bear - compliant and devoid of personal needs or feelings. This pretend relationship ignores the authentic person's identity and imposes unfair standards that serve only the abuser's sense of control.Key points discussed include:The non-reciprocal nature of abusive relationships where expectations are one-sided.How controllers project their own narrative onto their partners, ignoring true emotions and reactions.The damaging impact on victims who feel unseen and unappreciated for who they truly are.Here are the two books mentioned on the podcast:Controlling PeopleThe Verbally Abusive RelationshipSupport the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse CoachInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

fWotD Episode 2507: Jamie Kalven Welcome to featured Wiki of the Day where we read the summary of the featured Wikipedia article every day.The featured article for Saturday, 16 March 2024 is Jamie Kalven.Jamie Kalven (born 1948) is an American journalist, author, human rights activist, and community organizer based in Chicago, Illinois. He is the founder of the Invisible Institute, a non-profit journalism organization based in Chicago's South Side. His work in the city has included reporting on police misconduct and poor conditions of public housing. Kalven has been referred to as a "guerrilla journalist" by Chicago journalist Studs Terkel. He is the son of Harry Kalven, a law professor who left behind an unfinished manuscript on freedom of speech upon his death in 1974. Jamie finished the manuscript over the following 14 years. Following a sexual assault on his wife, Patricia Evans, Kalven wrote a memoir as a resource to support victims of rape. He also reported on living conditions at the Stateway Gardens housing development in the Bronzeville neighborhood of Chicago. Along with Evans and an associate, Kalven founded the Invisible Institute as an informal journalism and community organizing team at Stateway. His reporting on abuse by Chicago police at Stateway eventually led to litigation seeking the release of police misconduct records, which Kalven won in 2014. The case – Kalven v. City of Chicago – resulted in a landmark decision, holding that police misconduct records are public information under the Illinois Freedom of Information Act.Having obtained the police records, the Invisible Institute incorporated as a nonprofit organization soon thereafter. The Institute created the Citizens Police Data Project and became a hub for information related to police misconduct, wrongful convictions, and reports from police whistleblowers. Kalven reported on the murder of Laquan McDonald by a police officer in 2014. He obtained a copy of an autopsy report showing that McDonald had been shot 16 times execution-style, contradicting official reports of a single gunshot wound. Kalven won the Ridenhour Courage Prize for this reporting. He later co-produced 16 Shots, a documentary about McDonald's murder. The Institute won the Pulitzer Prize for National Reporting in 2021, and Kalven stepped down as director in the same year.This recording reflects the Wikipedia text as of 00:31 UTC on Saturday, 16 March 2024.For the full current version of the article, see Jamie Kalven on Wikipedia.This podcast uses content from Wikipedia under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.Visit our archives at wikioftheday.com and subscribe to stay updated on new episodes.Follow us on Mastodon at @wikioftheday@masto.ai.Also check out Curmudgeon's Corner, a current events podcast.Until next time, I'm Emma Standard.

Rewind from 2022 that I thought you might enjoy! I hope it keeps you from making the mistakes I made! How do we know when we are feeling desperate and should take extra precautions while we date? How can we tell if we have low self-worth? Sometimes it's hard to see these things until they're in the rearview.I share three ways you can tell if you're a little desperate or have  low self-esteem when dating. I tell a story of a dating relationship I had in 2020 during the pandemic. I was a leetle more desperate for attention and affection than I knew back then.All relationships are here to help us learn and grow. That's why I'm sharing these honest stories with you all. Maybe hearing my experience can help others say no and start to react when they are treated less than they deserve.I mention the helpful book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I recommend. https://www.amazon.com/Verbally-Abusive-Relationship-Expanded-Third/dp/1440504636Thank you for listening!  Healing is possible! I'd love to hear from you! https://www.instagram.com/iheartserin/Please rate and review the podcast to let me know you're listening! Thank you!

Patricia Evans - Victory Over Verbal Abuse Zapraszam do lektury moich książek wydanych przez wydawnictwo Tathata: https://www.fundacjahs.org/sklep/ Zapraszam do lektury moich książek wydanych przez wydawnictwo Helion: https://sensus.pl/autorzy/jaroslaw-gibas/14859A Oferta moich szkoleń video: https://akademiahs.fundacjahs.org/courses/ Oferta moich otwartych szkoleń i warsztatów: Warsztat autoterapia: https://jaroslawgibas.com/warsztat-autoterapia/ Akademia terapii transpersonalnej: https://jaroslawgibas.com/att/ Realizacja video mini-wykładów jest możliwa dzięki środkom i zasobom Fundacji Hinc Sapientia https://www.fundacjahs.org. Jeśli uważasz, że publikowane tutaj mini-wykłady są przydatne i warto kontynuować ich produkcję to możesz ją wesprzeć darowizną na cele statutowe fundacji! Dziękuję:-) Jarosław Gibas

Alexandra and Brianne explore the hidden epidemic of verbal abuse. Hear Alexandra's story of marriage, trauma, and recovery. Gain insight into how to identify and escape verbal abuse. Learn ways to process the experience and regain joy. From understanding the danger of verbal abuse to setting healthy boundaries, this podcast offers a necessary and empowering journey of healing._____If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, depression, trauma, sexual abuse or feeling overwhelmed, we've compiled a list of resources at secretlifepodcast.com.______To share your secret and be a guest on the show email secretlifepodcast@icloud.com_____SECRET LIFE'S TOPICS INCLUDE:addiction recovery, mental health, alcoholism, drug addiction, sex addiction, love addiction, OCD, ADHD, dyslexia, eating disorders, debt & money issues, anorexia, depression, shoplifting,  molestation, sexual assault, trauma, relationships, self-love, friendships, community, secrets, self-care, courage, freedom, and happiness._____ABOUT OUR GUEST:Alexandra Eva-May is a divorcee, podcast host, wellness warrior, mental health advocate, new mother, survivor of infertility, writer, blogger, motivational speaker and recently, a best-selling author of the book, Her Awakening. You can grab your copy on Amazon!For more info: https://www.thesplendidpath.com/_____Create and Host Your Podcast with the same host we use - RedCircle_____Get your copy of SECRET LIFE OF A HOLLYWOOD SEX & LOVE ADDICT -- Secret Life Novel or on Amazon______HOW CAN I SUPPORT THE SHOW?Tell Your Friends & Share Online!Follow, Rate & Review: Apple Podcasts | SpotifyFollow & Listen iHeart | Stitcher | Google Podcasts | Amazon | PandoraSpread the word via social mediaInstagramTwitterFacebook#SecretLifePodcastDonate - You can also support the show with a one-time or monthly donation via PayPal (make payment to secretlifepodcast@icloud.com) or at our WEBSITE.Connect with Brianne Davis-Gantt (@thebriannedavis)Official WebsiteInstagramFacebookTwitterConnect with Mark Gantt (@markgantt)Main WebsiteDirecting WebsiteInstagramFacebookTwitterTranscript[0:00:00] Alexandra: So for me, like, for a long time after, like, any kind of conflict with a man is just like hugely triggering. Because my experience was this will lead to someone saying these awful things to you.[0:00:18] Brianne Davis: Welcome to the Secret Life Podcast. Tell me your secret, I'll tell you mine.Sometimes you have to go through the darkness to reach the light. That's what I did. After twelve years of recovery in sex and love addiction, I finally found my soulmate myself. Please join me in my novel, Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict. A four time bestseller on Amazon. It's a brutal, honest, raw, gnarly ride, but hilarious at the same time. Check it out now on Amazon. Welcome to see your life podcast. I'm Brianne Davis-Gantt. Today, I'm pulling back the curtains of all kinds of human secrets. We'll hear about what people are hiding from themselves or others. You know, those deep, dark secrets you probably want to take to your grave. Or those lighter, funnier secrets that are just plain embarrassing.[0:01:19] Brianne Davis: Really, the how, what, when, where and why would it all. Today. My guest is Alexandra. Now, Alexandra, I have a question for you. Duhn, Duhn Duhn. What is your secret?[0:01:33] Alexandra: So my secret is that when I was married, I was suffering verbal abuse silently within my marriage and I didn't tell anyone that it was my secret.[0:01:45] Brianne Davis: How long did that go on for?[0:01:47] Alexandra: It was over the extent of the marriage and the marriage wasn't very long. I was married for about a year, I guess, that we were together, living together. The marriage continued. Like, we didn't get a divorce right away, but we were together for about a year and it went on throughout kind of the whole time.[0:02:03] Brianne Davis: How long were you guys together, though, before you got married together?[0:02:09] Alexandra: We were together probably before the marriage, I think it was six or seven years.[0:02:14] Brianne Davis: Oh, wow. So you waited.[0:02:19] Alexandra: We started dating when we were, I think we were like 23, 22, 23. So young. Yeah, and then we just kind of dated. We even lived together for three years before we got married. And then we got married and then it started happening. So it was crazy.[0:02:39] Brianne Davis: You know, that's so fascinating because I thought, honestly, you were going to say after you said that you guys were together for like six months and then you got together and got married and I was like, oh, did you not know the person? Because I feel like a lot of people rush into things not knowing. But you knew the person.[0:02:56] Alexandra: Yeah. And the thing with what I experienced, he could be that way with, say, friends or even family members, but he never did it to me. So in my young, immature, naive brain, I thought, well, he's not doing it to me, so it's okay. Well, he's never okay. And that would be like one thing I would say to any man or woman because it can happen to anyone.[0:03:21] Brianne Davis: Yes.[0:03:22] Alexandra: What they do to other people or what they say to other people. And in my context of man. So, like, what a man does to other people or women he will do to you in your marriage even if he's not doing it before when you're dating, it will eventually you will become the target.[0:03:38] Brianne Davis: Can you give me some examples? Because I know people are listening out there and even if they're experienced it, there's something about we downplay it to ourselves because we don't want to believe that it's happening for sure.[0:03:51] Alexandra: So when it was happening throughout my life, nobody had spoken to me like that or treated me like that ever. So when it started to happen that way, it just felt so foreign. I didn't know how to make sense of it. So again, yeah, I just kind of downplayed it in my mind. But it was subtle things. Like subtle, like sarcastic, jabs, passive aggressive comments. But it can also be really overt things. Like with him, like being called a bitch or being told, like, there's something inherently wrong with you. And so it's like these we sometimes say these things very loosely, I guess. But when it's targeted at you from the person that's supposed to love you the most, it's so unsettling and it just unsettles your idea about yourself.[0:04:34] Brianne Davis: Yeah.[0:04:39] Alexandra: It would come when there was a conflict in the relationship and he was in a place of stress and that's how he dealt with it. I understand. So for me, for a long time after, any kind of conflict with a man is just, like, hugely triggering. Because my experience was this will lead to someone saying these awful things to you.[0:04:58] Brianne Davis: Yeah. Because you guys were together for six years and you saw him call, like, other people bitches or talk bad about other people in his life or coworkers or whatever. Right?[0:05:11] Alexandra: Yeah, it could be, say, I have seen it. He would talk about not my female friends, necessarily, but, like, female sometimes that were strong will and he would say, called him a bitch. And at the time, like I said, it's not okay. It's never okay to use that language towards anybody, especially women. But like I said, I was young, I was naive, I was in love. And I kind of was like, oh, well, he doesn't mean it. He doesn't actually believe it. But now, looking back, he probably did. And eventually I became the target.[0:05:50] Brianne Davis: So why do you think that happened? Because you were finally, completely committed to him and, like, the marriage. Do you even remember the first time it happened?[0:06:01] Alexandra: Sort of like I kind of do. Yes, actually, I do. It was about, I think, three months in and I can't remember the specific incident. It's crazy. I can remember because it led to trauma. I can very much remember how I felt. And I can relive moments of the moment, but I can't remember all the details, which is kind of interesting.[0:06:24] Brianne Davis: Not really, because we black it out when there's trauma or ptsd, when there's, like, a bad breakup or bad toxic relationship that creates trauma in our body, and we cut off some of our memory to make it easier for our psyche to handle.[0:06:40] Alexandra: Yeah. Three months in. Like I said, it just is so foreign. And it's just like, all of a sudden, it's like being hit without being hit, and then you have this invisible wound, but no burgess to show for it. That's how I kind of look at it. So it kept happening. And then eventually, when we did split up, I had so much trauma. And I just thought it was from the end of my marriage, because it was quite sudden, which was very it was traumatic itself. But there was so much trauma for years that was just about the verbal abuse. And I didn't realize that actually till like, a year ago when I was having I would have sometimes conflict with my partner, which we do. Like in a relationship, we have conflict. And I would have these massive overreactions.[0:07:28] Brianne Davis: Over hysterical historical hysterical historical.[0:07:37] Alexandra: Classic trauma reactions. Like, I would need to go to an enclosed space. I would close the bathroom door. I would flee, get a fight fight or flight fight.[0:07:53] Brianne Davis: I always ran to the bathroom and shut the door whenever I was in conflict.[0:07:58] Alexandra: Yeah. And then it would get to the point. Also, sometimes I would fight. I would just react extreme. And then I just sat in that and we sarah and he was like, Why am I reacting? And I realized I still had a lot of trauma to work through. And my trigger, like I said, was a conflict with any man, because with ix, I would either be called back or I would just avoid conflict altogether to avoid kind of that aggression coming at you. Yeah. And for him, he dealt with stress, like I said, anxiety and anger by lashing out. I'm not saying it's okay, but it helped me understand the whole experience, I guess.[0:08:41] Brianne Davis: Do you know if his parents fight like that or he was raised well.[0:08:47] Alexandra: His story his dad wasn't around, and I'm not sure, growing up how his family relationship was, but I would imagine he thought somewhere that it became okay.[0:09:02] Brianne Davis: Or when it became normalized.[0:09:05] Alexandra: Yeah. And in his life, too, because, like I said, I would sometimes see it with friends or whoever, and people kind of they didn't expect it from us, but they just are like, oh, that's just like him. It's okay. It's just him. And I think sometimes with people that have damaging behaviors or toxic behaviors or abusive behaviors, there's not enough people that say it's not okay.[0:09:29] Brianne Davis: Usually it's hard. It's hard. I think, when you just said earlier, and I want to go back to it, that it was like getting punched, but you don't see the bruise. And that's what I always say, like, those toxic behaviors, those toxic relationships when they're not physical, not that either is worse than the other, but it's like a million little cuts that you don't see that you're killing yourself with. Like someone's doing these little cuts all over you and you're bleeding out and you have no idea, and you can't see it 100%.[0:10:04] Alexandra: And I'm a big reader. I try to reading things. And after our relationship ended, I read this book. I think it's called The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I believe that's the title. And she listed off all these different ways someone could be verbally abusive. And some of it's like that outright swearing at you, that kind of thing. But it's like little stuff, like yeah, like sarcastic comments about any kind of aspirations you have, or passive aggression or stonewalling gas lighting. Gas lighting. It's all kind of part of that. And I realized he didn't check off all the boxes, but it was a lot more than I even realized myself. And when I actually sat down and I remember one day after I wrote in my journal everything, I could remember all the different things he had said. And I couldn't believe the list that I compiled because I think in the moment when it was happening, I just tried to not black it out, but forget it real fast. The secret, I guess I didn't tell anybody till after because I was really ashamed. So I think and I think this is for, like, a lot of abuse survivors, whether it's physical or emotional, financial or verbal, we feel shame because we actively, I guess, chose this relationship.[0:11:25] Alexandra: We've got along with it, and even though someone's treating us badly, we continue to stay.[0:11:31] Brianne Davis: Yeah.[0:11:32] Alexandra: And so there's a shame that you're continuing to stay because abuse isn't black and white. Like this person that's doing these awful things. When you're being abused, you don't look at them as, like, a monster. You look at, like, their behavior. Like, this is like when you make.[0:11:45] Brianne Davis: Excuses and you, oh, he had a bad day at work. He lost his job. We couldn't pay that bill. You always make excuses and then you try to turn towards the moments. Oh, but he was so loving the day before. Or, he bought me that sweater or something. Yeah.[0:12:02] Alexandra: And if you have money I realized in this episode, I even made excuse. I was like, when he was stressed, he would do this. Which is kind of an excuse because.[0:12:08] Brianne Davis: It'S never yeah, you said it three times. She said it three times. You're still trying to justify the abuse. And you're like, I know, I understand. He's probably going through a lot. And it's like, no, he didn't.[0:12:26] Alexandra: Even pass that. I realized what he did and that it was wrong. And sitting here making excuses. So I think you feel shame, or at least I did, because well, first of all, if you tell people, if you start telling people they're going to tell you to leave, they're going to right away say leave. And maybe you're not in a position to leave, whether it's like kids or whatever.[0:12:46] Brianne Davis: And financial.[0:12:49] Alexandra: You'Re just, like, not ready to throw in a towel or something.[0:12:51] Brianne Davis: Or a love addict. There's a lot of people that stay in those relationships because they're addicted to that person.[0:12:58] Alexandra: Yeah. And for me, well, I was raised in a Catholic family, so I had that. We were married, and I wasn't super young, but I was, like, 29, which is young, is in the marriage sector. I wasn't 50 or anything. So I also felt like I couldn't leave because I just sort of gotten married, and I felt like I was young to be going through a divorce. And there was a lot of shame with a divorce itself. And I felt so shamed that someone was treating me like this. And I let it be okay, sort of because I didn't leave.[0:13:35] Brianne Davis: Yeah, but here's the thing, and I also is it because you were just married, too? Because it happened pretty quick. Usually it doesn't happen so fast.[0:13:45] Alexandra: Yeah, that was kind of crazy because.[0:13:48] Brianne Davis: I remember someone that was in a bad relationship and they just got married, and she's like, we just spent all this money on the wedding. And I was like, who cares? But it's hard to tell someone when they're wanting something to work so badly.[0:14:02] Alexandra: Well, yeah, and like I mentioned earlier, we had been together for six or seven years, lived together for three years, and so, like, people exactly, they were like, didn't you know? Like, how could you not know? And even my mom asked me that. Like, how could you not know? And it was like, well, yeah, I saw the sign, but I was never the victim. I was never the target until we got married. And then, yeah, like you said, it happened so fast. So I felt like, how could I get married and then just split up so fast? I would feel so embarrassed about it. Even though you're right, like, who cares?[0:14:35] Brianne Davis: Now?[0:14:35] Alexandra: I don't care if I ever ended that relationship again, I will leave like this.[0:14:40] Brianne Davis: But you're right, you can't tell people to leave, because I work with a lot of people, and I can't ever tell them to leave. I can say, I suggest this. This is what should be. This is how you should talk. But you can't make someone leave a bad situation. You just can't.[0:14:55] Alexandra: And sometimes I think you're also so connected to that person, and so you protect them. That's the big thing with abuse, too. We protect our abusers. And so someone's saying you should just leave sometimes feels like a bit of an attack, even though you're not you're trying to help and you're trying to tell them, no, you need to go. But I think if you're suffering it at the time, it can feel, and then you can just turn into the relationship more. Because you're like oh, yeah.[0:15:23] Brianne Davis: Because you're like, yeah, you stick it out, and then you kind of start blocking out other people and just trying to focus, like, fixing this relationship, which you can't fix the person. Right. Did you do that towards the end or anything?[0:15:36] Alexandra: No, I think because I hadn't experienced abuse in my life. I was raised by relatively healthy parents, and my friends were all very healthy for the most part in life.[0:15:48] Brianne Davis: Come on, come on, please. I believe everybody has some sort of ism. Everybody goes some place where they don't want to feel their feeling.[0:15:59] Alexandra: That's true. Yes.[0:16:00] Brianne Davis: Don't believe her. everybody's got problems.[0:16:05] Alexandra: Yeah, that's true. But I just had never been abused. I guess I just didn't have that understanding. So when it was happening, it was just so boring, and it was just felt so extreme. So for me, instead of trying to fix him, I weathered it for a while, and I thought in my head, maybe this will change. I didn't do anything on my end to change him. I guess I just thought, maybe it will stop. And then just like, it didn't. And I was just like and at one point, it just like in one of our interactions, it was an episode of verbal abuse, and I was just like I had been kind of pushing it down and pushing it down, just dealing with it, and then I literally exploded. I remember that incident. I was just like, you know what? I want a divorce. And then I just got my stuff and I left.[0:16:54] Brianne Davis: Wait, you're the one that asked for divorce?[0:16:57] Alexandra: Yeah.[0:16:58] Brianne Davis: So what happened that got you to a place where you were like, Enough. What was that moment?[0:17:05] Alexandra: Well, I think it's like that fight or flight for the whole time it was happening, I was like, or avoiding. Right? Like, I was avoiding it, and I was, like, pushing it down. I guess I wasn't flying away, so I wasn't doing flight, but I was just, like, avoiding it.[0:17:19] Brianne Davis: Right.[0:17:19] Alexandra: And then that pushing down, eventually it kind of exploded in this incident. And that was like, the flight. Like, I want I want a divorce, but also flight because I just left.[0:17:27] Brianne Davis: Right.[0:17:27] Alexandra: But then I always thought in my head I might go back, even though I had said those words and I had laughed. I thought, well, maybe people reconcile, and maybe this will be the moment where he'll like, okay, I need to go to therapy and I figure this out. But he never really did, and he never really put in like, he I imagine in his mind, he thought he fought for the relationship after the marriage, but I didn't feel it. And so after we split up because it didn't there were still episodes of, like, sarcasm and passive aggression, and so I just kind of never went back. And then we had talks and stuff, but I just never returned to the marriage. And I just realized that I wanted not only more for myself, but I wanted kids. So I thought, if I'm going to have children, there's no way I would ever want them to be spoken to like that from their father. So if I want children, I need to end this marriage and seek out another relationship or whatever that looks like. And also just for me, even if I never had kids or never had another relationship, it's way better to be alone and feel sane and happy and healthy versus in a relationship where someone is making you not only not feel loved, but also, like, you start hating yourself. It was great. At the end of the relationship, I would talk to my best friend and just like, the words I was saying what myself were just so untrue.[0:18:53] Brianne Davis: Like, what were you saying?[0:18:54] Alexandra: So I was saying things like, I would be telling her stories, and then I would pause, like, but I'm just like, I'm not a good communicator. And she saw you, alex, my job as a teacher. I'm an elementary teacher. She's like you're a teacher. You talk the whole pace like you're not a bad communicator. Oh, okay. That's weird. Why am I saying this? Or maybe things like, I'm quite a sensitive person. She's like you're not. You're not sensitive.[0:19:29] Brianne Davis: Isn't it so funny that we try to turn it in on ourselves? Always, like, to take responsibility for someone else hurting us. We then turn it and twist it and make it about ourselves, like, there's something wrong with ourselves. Did you do that a lot at the end or during the relationship? After?[0:19:50] Alexandra: Yeah, it was crazy. That honestly, it was very traumatic. Obviously, I just pushed it away while it was happening, and then it was after the fact. After we split up, I had a full year of just a really dark depression. And during that time, it was just like I was just, like, saying horrible things to myself about myself. Like, no one's going to love you. Because he also told me that it's going to take a very special person to love me again.[0:20:18] Brianne Davis: Oh, my God, I want to strangle him right now. Everybody worse being loved. Like, if you're on this planet right now and you're born, you're worth loving. If anybody's telling anybody out there, that is the most abusive thing to say to somebody.[0:20:33] Alexandra: Yeah, it was stuff like that. Like I said, it was swearing. But it was also things like, there's something inherently wrong with you. It's going to take a special person to love you. There's something wrong with your family. So it took a long time of like, I believe these things, and then it took a while, and then I started seeing it to myself. I don't need to plug anything, but I have a book coming out. And in the book, I kind of talk about, like, I said these horrible things to myself after we split up for a long time, and I all of a sudden realized nobody's abusing me but myself. I was doing it.[0:21:10] Brianne Davis: I was the person to me, that's so fascinating. You just said that because I had a moment like that the other night, and I haven't talked about it, but I'm the villain of my story. I'm the one that speaks to myself the worse than anybody else. And I had this moment at 03:00 A.m. That I woke up and my subconscious was like, you're a loser. You're not good enough, all this stuff. And I literally was telling my brain, like, Stop. It's not true. But when other people tell you those things, you then start to believe them.[0:21:44] Alexandra: Yeah, and I think I wrote once, I said something like he had said words that planted invisible roots in my mind, and they were really hard to pull out. And I think that's what verbal abuse does and other abuse, but like, verbal abuse, it like, plants these roots and they grab your brain, and it's really hard to just pull them out and get them out of there because you're like, well, if they said it, there must be some truth to it. But there's not. Typically. There's not. Well, not usually. It's almost always about them. Always about them, not you.[0:22:19] Brianne Davis: Yeah. So you went through this dark, dark place. I mean, how dark did it go for you?[0:22:25] Alexandra: I talked about this online on social media and my blog. I went through depression and anxiety, and I was in a place like, I have suicidal ideation secretly again, that was another secret.[0:22:39] Brianne Davis: Here's another secret.[0:22:43] Alexandra: I remember that year after we split up, we still had the house we were trying to sell. And I'd be in that house, like, alone, and I would be coping by drinking, like, bottle after bottle of wine kind of thing, crying alone. And in those moments, I remember I had, like I thought I had written in my journal, like, I just want to, like, melt to the ground things. Like, I felt like I wanted to die.[0:23:06] Brianne Davis: Like disappear? Yeah.[0:23:07] Alexandra: Yeah, disappear. And I would sit there on the floor and I would like empty pill bottles. That's how I decided I would do it. And, like, every time I thought, okay, this is the time, I never did, because I didn't want to die. I realized what I wanted was to be free of what was going on in my mind. But at the time, I was suffering depression, so I couldn't logic that out at the time.[0:23:30] Brianne Davis: No, you can't. And that's the thing. I mean, I write about it in the book too. I love that you have a book coming out and telling your story. But it's like, I write about all these moments. You think about your death, and you're like, what is it going to be like? People are going to do this. Even at the beginning of my recovery, I talk about, like, I wish I wanted to just drive my car into the middle of the median just because I didn't want to feel this pain anymore. And you don't know what to do with it. The only thing I can say, and I think that's what you're saying, is you have to walk through it. You have to walk through that pain.[0:24:04] Alexandra: You have to. Otherwise it will continue to haunt you as long as you don't face it. If you can do it by yourself, great.[0:24:15] Brianne Davis: I don't know anybody that can do it by themselves. Because you can't fix your brain when your brain is what's? Sick.[0:24:23] Alexandra: Yeah, I need a therapy. Like, I need therapy. I didn't need pharmaceutical. That was something we talked about. But I decided in the moment, because event and experience created this, I thought, I can work through it in different ways. Because I hadn't been suffering, arguably, I hadn't had a chemical imbalance my whole life. So I was like, well, I'm going to try. And then that was always an option. Tosserize. But never had to. Which is I'm thankful I didn't have to, but I would have if it had continued, or if I had continued to have those intrusive thoughts. But yeah, just going through all that, I realized how traumatic verbal abuse really was. Because a lot of the trauma was from the divorce, but a lot of it was from this abuse.[0:25:10] Brianne Davis: I think, 100%. It's those invisible cuts, those invisible emotional cuts. I always think those are the hardest ones to, like you said, rip out the roof. Like, if someone hits you, you see the bruise, but if someone verbally abuses you, you can't see it. You can't say, See right here? When he said this, it made this mark on my soul or my face. You know what I mean?[0:25:33] Alexandra: Well, yeah, and I know this is going to sound crazy, sorry, I don't like that word, but kind of natty.[0:25:39] Brianne Davis: She's natty. I don't mind the word crazy people at all.[0:25:43] Alexandra: I've had people, I've used it before in reference to myself, and they got offended. So I don't want to offend anybody.[0:25:49] Brianne Davis: We offend people here all the time, and it's okay. We're all in this together.[0:25:54] Alexandra: Okay, good. But at the end of the relationship, I had wished that he had hit me, because then I'd have a bruise to show the evidence why I had to leave so fast from my marriage. And even during the marriage, there were moments where I was like, I wish you would just hit me. Because then I could be like, here's the bruise. Now you can see. You would for sure be like, oh, good. I'm glad you left. But verbal abuse, some people, they have a different, I guess, level of tolerance of it, too. Some people would be like, oh, he called you bitch. Like, that's not a big deal, whatever. Deal with it. Where other people would be like, that's horrible. Whereas physical abuse is very like, I think cut and dry people are like, no, leave. Which is that's why I say it's crazy. Like, I wish she had hit me, but at least then I'd have something to show.[0:26:39] Alexandra: Everything else shows invisible.[0:26:41] Brianne Davis: I've actually said that too. I've said that even with friendships. Because let's talk about friendships for a minute, which we never thought we were going to discuss. But even friendships, sometimes people abuse you or are a passive aggressive, like you said, and at moments, even with friendships. And I was like, I wish they just do something physical so I could get enough to work up the courage to leave. No, you should leave anyway. They're horrible up people. Like, they're abusive, but it's hard.[0:27:12] Alexandra: And friendships can sometimes be the hardest thing to break away from.[0:27:15] Brianne Davis: Oh, those are the worst, right? Friendship breakups are horrible. They are the worst pain I've ever been in.[0:27:25] Alexandra: And you will never be friends again. Like, even with a divorce or a breakup. Like, maybe one day you'll get back together, but likely not. But with a friendship, if you break up a friendship, you're probably done, because it's pretty extreme because people don't break up, they just sort of save each other out. Or there's a friendship break up. I was just talking about the other day about someone who has a friend that is arguably not treating them right, like being very passive aggressive and just saying weird things. And I said, you wouldn't tolerate it from your family, you wouldn't tolerate from your boyfriend, so why are you tolerating it from your friend? I think you need to establish a boundary with your friend and talk to this person, and hopefully they'll respond and realize, oh, my God, I'm being awful. And if they don't, then that's your evidence that you shouldn't be friends.[0:28:12] Brianne Davis: Yeah, I 100% agree. And that's what I think doing all this work for me is. It's like every relationship, it's just not about sex and love. It's literally every relationship.[0:28:23] Alexandra: Oh, for sure. Because a friendship can really if they're not treating you, that can just be awful.[0:28:30] Brianne Davis: It's just as bad. I believe it's just as bad. Now, you said you are now with someone, right? How is that? Obviously you've done the work, so that's the first thing you got to do the work afterwards because you'll take it into the next relationship, you'll bring that baggage. Correct?[0:28:47] Alexandra: Yes. And arguably before that, I should have done a bit more work. Like, I had done a lot of work, and I thought I was totally healed. And then when we had these consultants, I realized, well, maybe. There's a little bit more work to do.[0:29:00] Brianne Davis: Oh my God, that's so funny. I've literally done twelve years of intense work and I still get triggered by my husband. I'm like, there's another layer that I have to work on.[0:29:15] Alexandra: But it's been good. He's a deharta himself, so he understands that experience. And it's kind of funny. I'm kind of happy I ended up with someone who also went through that because we can kind of understand if stuff comes up, we can talk about it. And neither one of us is going to be like, oh, you're not over it. No, it's just this really crazy thing, extreme thing happened in both of our past, so we can kind of understand that. So he's super understanding. And sometimes if I do have a trigger and I overreact, I'll talk to him after it's done and the next day, I'm really sorry. And he was like, no, I understand. It's okay. And so he's so understanding and so he's kind of yeah, he's a great guy to be with, for me, for sure.[0:29:58] Brianne Davis: Yeah. But he doesn't fix it. That's the thing. You have to do it. You can't get into a good relationship because you won't know how to handle it because that trauma comes up. And one of the things we say is we tell each other like, okay, I'm getting really triggered. I don't know why right now. So I'm going to walk away and let's just put this on the table. Like that's what we said. We're like, time out. Something that's out. Or we use that word mistletoe, like mistletoe no more.[0:30:29] Alexandra: I love that.[0:30:32] Brianne Davis: It really does. Because there's something about you're going to get triggered. You're going to get triggered with your partner about family stuff, about things you haven't dealt with, your family, your friends, past relationships. And it's like you have to have that pause.[0:30:48] Alexandra: Yeah. And he's so good too. I didn't have, I guess, many serious relationships after my marriage. He was probably the most serious, but I had like, little things going on, relationships with people, and one of them, this guy would say if anything ever came up, and not even that much, but anything, he would refer to my ex husband as like a scumbag. That also was not a healthy response and it didn't help. It definitely didn't help because I was the one that married a scumbag. But then you feel bad, you're like, Well, I loved him. At some point he's like, that's not. And so with my now partner, he definitely even if I'm talking about these things that happen, he'll never take aim at him, which I appreciate it's more. Just like the things that happen and how I'm feeling and how I'm healing and stuff. Not nothing about him really calling him names, because that's just a sabbath, I think.[0:31:40] Brianne Davis: Oh, I love that because part of me wanted to call him a scumbag a couple of times and put an asshole like you know what I mean?[0:31:47] Alexandra: Like I wanted to say you can actually, I think I heard about that too. In my book, I say I'm a last call in the stomach and anybody that I give that privilege to can, but not some kind of dating doesn't have the right to say that.[0:32:01] Brianne Davis: Well, I know you have the blog with where's the blog so people can, if they want to reach out to you, if they're going through a similar thing, where can they reach you?[0:32:10] Alexandra: Yeah. So you can find me at the splendid Path. So www dot the splendidpath.com. And then I'm also pretty present on instagram at the alexandra. eva mae yay.[0:32:25] Brianne Davis: And one last question I have. If anybody out there is listening and they are in this type of relationship or feel like they are, they're not sure what would be your advice for them, like recognizing it, what would you wish you would have done?[0:32:39] Alexandra: So I think if you feel like you're in that type of relationship, you might be keeping it all to yourself, which does a lot of people do. I think the first step is to book therapy with a professional. You can do that now with the pandemic. There's so many people online. You can do it online, you can do it through an app even, or in person. I think some people are doing that. But focus therapy appointment to try to work through it with the professional. So that would be number one. And then number two, I think, realize that their behavior is not about you. It is about them. It is about how they handle whatever they're handling. It is completely about them. And what they're saying is not true. It's not true. It's a way to kind of take you down to make you feel as bad as they're probably feeling.[0:33:26] Alexandra: It's a way to like, erode your self confidence and it's not true. And you don't deserve that. And it would be better and healthier to be alone than to stay in this relationship or even seek out another one. It's healthier just to be alone and to be abused than to be with anybody. So if you're scared of being alone, like, it's tough. It can be tough to be alone. But it's so much better. And I was so much happier even when I was going through a grief, and I was like, I was so much happier because I was away from trauma.[0:34:00] Brianne Davis: Yeah, well, and I also just had this thought, even writing it down, like, you know, you have a communication with something and it just doesn't feel right in your stomach and you're like, oh, that hurt. Or I felt something writing it down, say I felt this way when he said this, or she said this. And it's like when you start writing it down, it's almost making it like so you can look back and go, oh, then this happened. Then he called me a bitch and then he was saying how ugly my dress is and no one would love me. I don't know, I'm just calling, but there's something about writing it down.[0:34:36] Alexandra: Oh, for sure. I think that no, that's actually what I did. That's a good point. I need like a list.[0:34:41] Brianne Davis: Look at me, I'm like I'll proud of myself, people, you can't see me, but I just smiled.[0:34:47] Alexandra: I need like a list.[0:34:49] Brianne Davis: Great.[0:34:49] Alexandra: I need a list because I was trying to make heads and tales of it and so I need a whole list and not actually after we split up because I was thinking of going back, which I made this list and it was like crazy long. Why would I go back to this? And so maybe yeah, you're right. Writing it down, making a list, and you can actually have a full scope of like, all that's happened.[0:35:10] Brianne Davis: Yeah. And write a list right after it happens. Like, yeah, this just happened because there's something about we can our minds can twist and manipulate ourselves and when it's written down, you can't twist that because it's written down that it happened. Do you know what I mean?[0:35:25] Alexandra: Yeah, exactly. I agree.[0:35:28] Brianne Davis: So glad you reached out to me. I'm so glad we talked about this. Honestly, I think people need to discuss this more because I think people use verbal abuse all the time and it's an epidemic and it's not okay anymore. So thank you so much for reaching out to me. Honestly, I'm so grateful.[0:35:44] Alexandra: Thank you so much for having me. This is so fantastic. And yeah, like you said, I agree, it's an epidemic and it starts with a young girl, a girls and teenage relationship. So it should be talked about more.[0:35:57] Brianne Davis: Well, thank you. And if you want to be on the show, please email me secretlifepodcast@icloud.com. Until next time, thanks again for listening to the show. Please subscribe rate, share air or send me a note at SecretLifepodcast.com. And if you like to check out my book, head over to secretlifenovel.com or Amazon to pick up a copy for yourself or someone you love. Thanks again. See you soon.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Today Gloria and I are joined by our friend Angeline Constantinou domestic violence survivor, activist, and podcast host of Let's Break The Silence. We are breaking the silence on an issue that we feel is a largely undiscussed epidemic globally. Verbal abuse in relationships. Today we will help you recognized it and how to overcome it and have happier healthier relationships. The book we are discussing is "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans.

How do we know when we are feeling desperate and should take extra precautions while we date? How can we tell if we have low self-worth? Sometimes it's hard to see these things until they're in the rearview. I share three ways you can tell if you're a little desperate or have  low self-esteem when dating. I tell a story of a dating relationship I had in 2020 during the pandemic. I was a leetle more desperate for attention and affection than I knew back then. All relationships are here to help us learn and grow. That's why I'm sharing these honest stories with you all. Maybe hearing my experience can help others say no and start to react when they are treated less than they deserve. I mention the helpful book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I recommend. https://www.amazon.com/Verbally-Abusive-Relationship-Expanded-Third/dp/1440504636You can find me @iheartserin. How do you like these episodes about dating? How has the dating world been for you? 

"Flying monkey is like their little spy, like in the Wizard of Oz, the Wicked Witch sends out the flying monkeys to get information on her targets. So that is what the narcissistic parent will do."How to recognize and heal from a narcissistic mother. Today I share a conversation with Michele Johnson of Bumped Bruised and Blessed IG & YouTube channel Instagram: https://instagram.com/bumpedbruisedandblessed (@bumpedbruisedandblessed) Guest Bio: Michelle is dedicated to her incredible husband and beautiful daughters having graduated cum laude from Farley Dickinson University with a master's degree in psychology, along with a bachelor's degree in psychology, Michelle founded Bumped Bruised and Blessed as a glimmer of hope for victims of narcissistic abuse. She and her husband endured. The atrocities of childhood cancer and lost their three-year-old son, Joey. To GBM in 2013. Michelle continues to persevere through an adversity by honoring Joey through spreading kindness and compassion with every effort. Her dysfunctional upbringing with a narcissistic mother, enabling father and flying monkey. and golden child, boy, brother have reinforced her empathic approach to other victims. A previous romantic entanglement with a narcissist also enables her to relate to this insidious form of abuse from that perspective as well. The Bumped Bruised and Blessed community is a chosen family of victims providing support. Through validation and education. Michelle maintains both. Both the YouTube and Instagram resources for both forums. Here are some key moments: Build your self perception with Affirmations Do Self Care practices regularly Educate yourself on narcissism Cut contact Pick your New family Book recommendations : https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD-ebook/dp/B00HJBMDXK/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= (Complex PTSD): From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA by Pete Walker https://www.amazon.com/Controlling-People-Recognize-Understand-Control-ebook/dp/B001UISGUC/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3FT0PYYCDNAZF&keywords=controlling+people+by+Patricia+evans&qid=1659905825&s=digital-text&sprefix=controlling+people+by+patricia+evans%2Cdigital-text%2C142&sr=1-1 (Controlling People) by Patricia Evans http://ravenscott.show/empath-and-the-narcissist (Empath and the Narcissist) by Raven Scott Her Guest Webpage GRAB http://ravenscott.show/free-workshop (FREE How to Set Powerful Boundaries Workshop) Empath & The Narcissist https://www.amazon.com/Empath-Narcissist-Healing-People-Pleasers-ebook/dp/B097CP63G5/ref=sr_1_16?dchild=1&keywords=empath+%26+narcissist&qid=1625605765&sr=8-16 (Book) : http://instagram.com/ravenscottshow (Follow on IG ): https://ravenscott.show/shop (Support the Show ) Grab all links and full transcript on our website http://Ravenscott.show (Ravenscott.show) Music YouTube Library: Til I Let Go by Neffex Mentioned in this episode: Trauma 2 Triumph Summit https://the-thriving-intuitive.captivate.fm/https-bit-ly-3xjlfvb (Traum 2 Triumph Ticket)

Narcissists find their way to the top of organizations because their lack of empathy resembles a competitive spirit. Listen to this Antidote Episode where we hear from Leslie Miller, a licensed independent clinical social worker who specializes in trauma and narcissistic abuse. She discusses why a narcissist fits the mold of a corporate boss so perfectly and how to cope when you deal with one.Leslie takes a mind-body approach to physical and mental health. Her website is full of recourses including a blog, counseling and coaching services, and support groups.Visit Leslie's website here:https://lesliemillerlicsw.com/Follow Leslie on Instagram:@therapist_narcissisticabuseBook mentioned in the interview:Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Relationshiphttps://www.verbalabuse.com/Want to be a guest on the podcast? Go to https://www.toxicworkplacepodcast.com/contact

In this episode, Diane talks candidly with Rick about the distinction between narcissitic personality disorder and narcissitic tendencies that we all may struggle with. They discuss how narcisstic abuse affects co-parents and their children and strategies to preserve a sense of self-worth when a narcissist is determined to destroy it to maintain their own one-up position.Resources to assist those who are healing from narcisisstic abuse:Patricia Evans' groundbreaking book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship, is a must read for all who listen to this podcast and think they may be a victim of narcissistic abuse. Find it on Amazon here.Disarming the Narcissist offers great advice about how to avoid losing yourself in the games played by your narcissistic parent or co-parent. Find it on Amazon here.Children of the Self-Abosrbed is one of the frequently recommended books for children who are experiencing the abuses of a narcissitic parent. Find it on Amazon here.Narcissists tend to target people who may define themselves as “empaths.” To learn more, find the book, Empaths, on Amazon here.Diane gave a couple of examples of how to respond to the narcissistic parent when they continually are asking for something that you don't think is realistic to give. Here are the answers she quoted on the show:"Thank you for your message, but it's content is the very reason flexibility doesn't work for us. If every time I say no to a request, I get a response like this, then I'm not motivated to be flexible. Our child deserves parents who can stay out of conflict and that is more important to me than either of our personal needs. If you think the parenting plan needs adjusted, I am open to mediating it, but because of these kinds of messages, I am no longer open to straying from it.""I understand your point of view. I am open to mediating this. Threats are not necessary. Thank you."You can find suggested videos on our YouTube channel playlist. There's a special playlist about Narcissism. Find it HERE. Please subscribe to our channel so you can be notified when we add more videos.CLICK HERE to subscribe to our monthly podcast email to get a sneak peak into upcoming topics!Do you have a co-parent dilemma? Call our voicemail number at 1-234-DILEMMA (1-234-345-3662) or email 1234Dilemma@gmail.comWant to talk about this episode with Diane and other parents? Be part of the conversation on the NON-Impossibles Facebook groupBecome a CPDilemmas patron! Visit our Patreon page to get special listener perks.

I've got a new puppy! And so I begin this show by sharing some really practical tips I've learned for how to get to sleep when insomnia dogs you (pun intended.) Because why do I have insomnia? Turns out a 7-week-old puppy really can't make it through the night without waking everyone up a few times. But we're almost through this phase! And on to our main segment… Long ago, I was in a verbally abusive relationship. As time dripped by, I became so used to being called names, being bullied and picked on, I came to expect it. And so I stayed far longer than I should. I finally woke up because I read the bestselling book by this show's remarkable guest, Patricia Evans. She is the author of the landmark book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship. In talking to Patricia, I uncovered some real gems about how to know you're in such a relationship, and what to do about it. Among other things, I learned: What ‘verbal abuse' actually means How to respond What's wrong with the verbal abuser that makes them act this way What is actually possible in such a relationship? Can they change? Or can you? Strategies for working with verbal abusers to build a more healthy dynamic I know this will strike a chord with some of you… and perhaps give others something to consider. As ever, I offer this work with love. Your friend, RESOURCES How to Overcome Insomnia When You're Too Stressed Out Suzanne's Facebook Group—The Self-Care Group for Extremely Busy Women Suzanne's book, Surrendering to Joy Patricia Evan's site How to Know ‘Read This First' questionnaire Patricia's landmark book The Verbally Abusive Relationship, 3rd Edition MORE ABOUT PATRICIA Patricia Evans is the author of the landmark classic book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship. She has appeared on Oprah, CNN and News Talk and her books on verbal abuse are published internationally.

Victims of coercive control might not recognize their experience as domestic abuse. In the case of Ryan Hart, his mother was left with no choice but to stay with his father — who portrayed himself as a well-respected family man in their community. Ryan says that it was their father's gendered view of the world which ultimately led him to murder his daughter and wife of 25 years. According to the World Health Organization, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men worldwide experience some type of abuse. And with the COVID-19 lockdown, reported numbers of intimate partner violence rose significantly. In this episode, we'll unpack domestic violence and its manifestations. We learn about coercive control and emotional abuse and why it's extremely difficult to escape a manipulative partner. On the show, we share the unspeakable tragedy that befell the Hart family and how we can better advocate for domestic abuse victims and survivors. Featuring policy and advocacy insights from experts: Patricia Evans, Author and Founder of the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute and John Hamel, Forensic and Clinical Social Worker and Researcher. -- This episode is made possible with the support of Vodafone Americas Foundation. To learn more about their programs and how you can support their network of partners, visit vodafone-us.com -- Finding Humanity is a production of Humanity Lab Foundation and Hueman Group Media. Subscribe, rate and leave us a review. For more information, visit findinghumanitypodcast.com. Follow us on Twitter @find_humanity and Facebook.

In this episode, we are joined by best-selling author Patricia Evans.  She has written five books about verbal and emotional abuse, the most popular being: The Verbally Abusive Relationship.   Join us for helpful information and insights, from the author herself, as we candidly discuss this problem that is becoming more widespread than ever.   If you or someone you know might be suffering from a verbally abusive relationship, this is a must-listen!  Please share with your friends and reach out if you need help learning some personal tools and insights to better deal with your own relationship.Find out more about Patricia Evans at verbalabuse.com.Do you have questions or concerns about your child or your relationship?  Let me be your mom coach, if even for just 30 minutes.  I would love to talk to you!  Sign up for a 30-minute FREE coaching call with The Mommy Whisperer.  Go to The-MommyWhisperer.com 

Bright Spot #10 - Family Medicine and the World Bank with Patricia Evans

Internationally recognized, Interpersonal Communications Specialist and best selling author, Patrica Evans discusses the issue of "Verbal Abuse." She discusses the titles and objectives of all five of her books on "Verbal Abuse." She shares what it is, why it is so undetectable, what is going on with the abuser and what is going on with the victim, why it is so undetectable and why it is often unrecognized , even by the victim or by therapists or counselors. She shares examples of signs to recognize if you are being verbally abused, what to do if you are, how a persons childhood could play a part in a person being a perpetrator of a victim of verbal abuse and how to get out. We also discuss the other side of getting out of the abusive relationship, growing from it and how a person can heal and move on.

After a 25 year relationship, my guest, Rosie Aiello, engineered an international escape from the Middle East to save her young adult daughter and herself from domestic violence. Stunned by PTSD and nearly mentally destroyed, she reinvented herself after arriving back in the United States. She started her own business, and became a speaker, best-selling author, podcaster and an international awarding-winning entrepreneur.Now she's on a worldwide mission to inspire 100M women to release the shackles of abuse, and reclaim their voice, value, confidence and courage so that they can create the joyful, productive and prosperous life they deserve. www.TheLoveisKindNetwork.comFree Guidebook to the 11 Freedom Fulfillment Pillars that will guide you to create a productive, prosperous and joyful life.Facebook Biz: @TheRosieAielloFacebook Business Page: @TheLoveisKindNetworkFacebook Group: @TheLoveisKindMovementTwitter: @loveiskindtweetLinkedIn Rosie AielloFreedomFulfillmentQuiz.com In 4 short minutes you'll discover where you're at, what challenges you're facing and what you need to focus on to move your life forward.Suggested Reading: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans

In this episode, I share the 3 things the actor Dennis Quaid shared with me when I first came to Hollywood in pursuit of a career in Entertainment.I get very personal on anger and how to apply that to one's craft.  I chat about one of my favorite acting coaches, Susan Batson who has been Nicole Kidman’s personal acting coach for two decades now.  Susan Batson has been the acting coach of Juliette Binoche, Zac Efron, Liv Tyler, Usher, Madonna, & Oprah to name a few!Shownotes:Dr. Joe Dispenza Dr. Gregg BradenWim Hof breath Abraham Hicks Anger and resentment Tibetan Singing BowlsBooks: The Gift of Anger, The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans, Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way by Gary ChapmanHere's my contact let's connect more  

On this episode of Big Blend Radio's Garden Gossip Show, Patricia Evans gives an overview Longwood Gardens.Located in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, Longwood Gardens is the most visited public garden in America, and spans 1,100 acres featuring 20 indoor gardens, 20 outdoor gardens, meadows, and woodlands showcasing more than 11,000 types of plants. In addition, Longwood is home to the most significant fountain collection in North America, featuring 3 fountain gardens and countless individual fountains throughout the Gardens. More: https://longwoodgardens.org/Featured music is “Orchids & Waterfalls” by Michael and Spider. Thanks to the suggestion by Brad and Cindy Eck of nearby Wild Wisteria B&B, Longwood Gardens was a recent Pennsylvania destination on Big Blend’s Love Your Parks Tour. https://www.wildwisteriabnb.com/Thank you to fine art nature photographer Margot Carrera for sponsoring this episode. https://www.carrerafineartgallery.com/

Join Nancy J. Reid and Lisa D. Smith, the mother-daughter publisher team of Big Blend Magazines and full-time travelers on the Love Your Parks Tour, for Big Blend Radio’s Fall Festival “Garden Gossip” show with Patricia Evans of Longwood Gardens. Located in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, Longwood Gardens is the most visited public garden in America, and spans 1,100 acres featuring 20 indoor gardens, 20 outdoor gardens, meadows, and woodlands showcasing more than 11,000 types of plants. In addition, Longwood is home to the most significant fountain collection in North America, featuring 3 fountain gardens and countless individual fountains throughout the Gardens. Featured music is “Orchids & Waterfalls” from the album "Iridescent Garden" by Michael and Spider. Thanks to the suggestion by Brad and Cindy Eck of nearby Wild Wisteria B&B, Longwood Gardens was a recent Pennsylvania destination on Big Blend’s Love Your Parks Tour.  Thank you to fine art nature photographer Margot Carrera for sponsoring this episode

Fear holds you back from reaching your dreams and living a fulfilling life. Like most people, you may even deny being afraid.  But without acknowledging your fears, you could be stopping yourself from taking the next step. How do we live with fear and how do we use it both positively and negatively? We talk about that today as we chat with Rhonda Britten about labelling our fears to ensure they don't get in our way. There's no need to keep getting stuck. Learn how to move beyond your fears by listening to this ‘fearless' episode! What We Talked About This Episode: The worst day of Rhonda's life  A bid to reinvent herself but instead living a life of self-destruction  When self-help books aren't helping and deciding that it's time to get better  We fail to acknowledge our denial of fear How she adopted a kindergarten exercise as the first step to becoming fearless  The impact of the physical fear and emotional fear in our lives  Why we are stopped by our fear responses  Embracing the human reality to manage fear  Creating unique exercises to help people, one through physical manifestations of what's in their head The four parts of the ‘Wheel of Fear'  The four parts of the ‘Wheel of Freedom'  Why the two ‘Wheels' are powerful tools  Making your fears your friends because fear exists to keep you safe Rhonda's book recommendations and daily rituals About Our Guest: An Emmy Award winner and a regular guest on the Oprah Show, Rhonda Britten is the founder of the Fearless Living Institute. She has been voted “America's favourite life coach”. She has a lot of other accolades to boot and has altered the lives of many people. Rhonda is also the author of four bestselling books including “Fearless Loving", "Change Your Life in 30 Days", "Do I Look Fat In This?: Get Over Your Body and On With Your Life", and "Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret." Connect with Rhonda Britton through the following:  Fearless Living' Website Take advantage of Rhonda's gift for our listeners, get access to her mini course on How To Overcome Fear of Unknown. Connect with John Murphy: YouTube Facebook LinkedIn Twitter Other Resources: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron Letters of the Scattered Brotherhood by Mary Strong The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans  If you liked this episode, please don't forget to subscribe, tune in, and share this podcast. Thanks for tuning in!

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What a pleasure and honor to have this deep conversation with Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship. !Patricia Evans stepped up, spoke up, and spoke out about verbal abuse. Her first book--with four following--is a tribute to her indomitable spirit and unwillingness to stay silent about this gateway behavior.Before a partner hits you, you will have been verbally abused: demeaned, discounted, dismissed, blamed, manipulated, and deceived. Domestic violence starts with verbal abuse.Toxic relationships are verbally abusive. In today's episode, we talk about the aspects of verbal abuse, and Patricia offers insights and strategies to recognize it, and find the strength to move away from it.If you have ever been verbally abused, or think you might be right now, you need to listen now.ABOUT PATRICIA EVANS:An internationally recognized Interpersonal Communications Specialist, Patricia Evans draws upon research of more than thirty thousand cases of verbally abusive relationships. She speaks and conducts workshops throughout the country.Founder of the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute, now, EICI, Inc., Patricia offers workshops and training programs. She has single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness, starting with her landmark book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond(1992). Newsweek commended her for it, saying that the expanded edition in 1996 was “A groundbreaking new book.”Patricia Evans has spoken on the devastating effect of this secret form of control on more than two hundred radio programs, and seventeen national television shows, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, Sonya Live—CNN and News Talk.Find Patricia Evan's work at VerbalAbuse.com--------------------------------------------------------------I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Optimize Circles now.Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Ask Me Anything Calls with me.WOW! Join now. OptimizeCircles.com Only $5 for the first month at any level.----------------------------------------------------------------------Want to work with Dr. Shaler? Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: TransformingRelationship.comPodcasts: RelationshipHelpNetwork.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerPinterest: Pinterest.com/TheRelationshipHelpDoctorYouTube: YouTube.com/ForRelationshipHelp#verballyabused #verbalabuse #verballyabusive #patriciaevans#relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #verbalabuse #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #journorequest #prrequest See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Monique, the daughter of San Diego Charger’s football great Earl Faison, married her high school sweetheart soon after she discovered she was pregnant with his child. Her relationship with Chris was shaky from the start, but turned tumultuous as he became verbally and physically abusive. When she could no longer put up with the abuse, she left him with their children. That was when the stalking and genuine threats began. Nothing stopped him—not protection injunctions, police warnings, or even arrests. One fateful Monday morning, Chris kidnapped Monique in front of her children and drove off on a nightmarish car ride that involved car crashes and rape. He mercilessly beat her on the head with a shovel and abandoned her brutalized body in the woods in the rain. He left, presuming she was dead…but was she?"Monique Faison Ross shares with us her engaging, powerful, and ultimately shocking story of brutal intimate violence. Her survival, her strength, and her wisdom are an inspiration and a lesson to us all. This is a not-to-be-missed opportunity to hear what the targets of domestic violence are trying to tell us, told in a way that will keep you turning the pages."-- Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? and The Joyous Recovery"Playing Dead is a compelling book—a true page-turner. Smart, strong, and protective of her children, Monique was barraged with snide comments and criticism, yet had no idea that this was verbal abuse and never suspected its extreme escalation. Every chapter compels the reader forward to what's next."—Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Controlling People, and more. www.VerbalAbuse.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Monique, the daughter of San Diego Charger’s football great Earl Faison, married her high school sweetheart soon after she discovered she was pregnant with his child. Her relationship with Chris was shaky from the start, but turned tumultuous as he became verbally and physically abusive. When she could no longer put up with the abuse, she left him with their children. That was when the stalking and genuine threats began. Nothing stopped him—not protection injunctions, police warnings, or even arrests. One fateful Monday morning, Chris kidnapped Monique in front of her children and drove off on a nightmarish car ride that involved car crashes and rape. He mercilessly beat her on the head with a shovel and abandoned her brutalized body in the woods in the rain. He left, presuming she was dead…but was she?"Monique Faison Ross shares with us her engaging, powerful, and ultimately shocking story of brutal intimate violence. Her survival, her strength, and her wisdom are an inspiration and a lesson to us all. This is a not-to-be-missed opportunity to hear what the targets of domestic violence are trying to tell us, told in a way that will keep you turning the pages."-- Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? and The Joyous Recovery"Playing Dead is a compelling book—a true page-turner. Smart, strong, and protective of her children, Monique was barraged with snide comments and criticism, yet had no idea that this was verbal abuse and never suspected its extreme escalation. Every chapter compels the reader forward to what's next."—Patricia Evans, author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Controlling People, and more. www.VerbalAbuse.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Internationally recognized, Interpersonal Communications Specialist, Patricia Evans, is the bestselling author of five books, including The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out, Controlling People, The Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? and Victory Over Verbal Abuse. She has single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness. Newsweek commended her first powerful book on the subject as “A groundbreaking new book.” Patricia lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and can be reached via her website at www.VerbalAbuse.com

Abuse is a difficult subject no one wants to talk about.  Annette Oltmans has founded The Mend Project as a resource for victims of what she has named “Covert or Double  Abuse”. Domestic Abuse comes in many different forms and much of it is not the hitting and violence we commonly think of when we hear the term abuse.  Often times it is a hidden abuse which is more insidious and can be the most destructive. Annette calls this “Covert Abuse” and gives us a visual to help explain this debilitating cycle.  This ongoing behavior will erode not only the relationship but the person’s confidence and can deeply affect and traumatize their lives. The Mend Project works to help first responders, which could be you, me, or a person of authority, on how best to respond to victims.  We think we know what to say, and yet, we can innocently use the wrong words or advice and be inflicting more harm all over again. This is named “Double Abuse” which was based on not only her experience, but also what she learned after interviewing hundreds of victims. Double abuse is described as when an ill-informed family or friend ignores the voice of the victim and instead defines the situation by their own wrong ideas, perspectives or biases.  Many times this leads the family and friends to impose harsh expectations of how the victim should react and respond, even giving them further consequences if they don’t comply. It is an eye opening issue. The Mend Project is starting a new conversation about abuse and one we all need to hear. Helpful Tips: How to listen respectfully Strengthen connections Proclaim truth Do no further harm Books mentioned: Why Does He Do That, Lundy Bancroft The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans   Find more about The Mend Project: www.themendproject.com For Links and  full show notes go here: www.LadiesRoadmap.com   Ready to get started manifesting your dreams and desires? Check out the My Roadmap Journal  https://www.ladiesroadmap.com/ladies-roadmap-journal/ Join our FREE Ladies Roadmap Facebook Group! This is where the magic happens! We discuss how to get started Journaling and more! You will have free access to both JoJami and Lana every week to answer your questions or just say “Hi!”   Would you like to get a reminder of our upcoming shows? It’s easy, just sign up for our weekly newsletter, HERE:   www.ladiesroadmap.com   Subscribe to the podcast! It’s easy, just click here!  Once your there, Push the blue “View in iTunes” button. It will take you to the podcast page . Then push the “Subscribe” button!   We’d love if you could please follow us and leave a comment on our social platforms: Facebook Twitter Instagram   Write us at info@ladiesroadmap.com We are part of the Fashion Flash Influencer community of women over 40  who share beauty and fashion tips! Check out this weeks tips,  here! Thank you to Cam Tyler from LitLoops for our awesome theme music and editing!

When a spouse is being abused, one of the challenges they may have to face is that other people around them may not believe that they are being abused. When this happens, there are even fewer resources available to empower the person experiencing the abuse. Let’s look at how this happens and then what to do about it. We wanted to bring this topic forward today because social support is a vital support for helping women recover from all forms of abuse[i]. However, when a woman is in a genuinely abusive situation and her support network do not understand the severity of the problem, then she feels even more isolated and stuck in the abusive relationship[ii]. Often the abuser is pretty slick and he has maybe convinced others — even her own family — that’s she’s having mental health issues or is just not stable or not rational. So you can imagine how profoundly trapped a woman might feel in this kind of situation. It really shakes her core sense of reality and truth. We hope that with this episode you’ll have some real clarity and also a bit of plan for how to navigate your way through this. What Is Emotional Abuse? We have covered the definition of abuse before, but a quick review of the main factors of emotional abuse is in order[iii]: Threats: these can be overt threats to harm you, your children or your family in any way. It includes threats to withhold basic needs: food, healthcare, financial support, safety, etc. Control: control or placing restrictions on your life. This could include things like depriving you of sleep, denying you access to friends, support, money, food or transportation. Destabilization: ongoing intimidation, insults, degradation or trying to convince you that you are inferior and undeserving of better treatment. One-off instances of these behaviors are not necessarily a sign of emotional abuse. A study from 2013[iv] states that for these actions to cross over from bad marital behavior to abusive behavior then it must reoccur repeatedly, without the abuser showing any sign of responsibility for or awareness of the issue. Common Mistakes Others Make Even counselors may not always see the abuse for what it is. A study from 2010[v] gives a helpful list of reasons why therapists may miss identifying abuse, and these are reasons that other people in your support network may be prone to as well: Failing to recognize that emotional abuse is an act of violence just as physical abuse is. Not having an understanding of patriarchy, power and gender can lead to blindness toward abuse. Holding you in any way responsible for your husband’s pervasive pattern of abuse In the context of helping someone see the abuse you’re experiencing, you may need to educate them on one or more of these issues. Referring them to articles such as ours on abuse, or giving them good books such as “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” by Patricia Evans or “Why Does He Do That?” by Lundy Bancroft may help them begin to see the issue. On the other hand, if you come from a family where all of the men operate in a patriarchal mindset it may be impossible to involve them as resources in your support network. Instead, you may choose to turn to others who already are better prepared to understand the abuse and confront it alongside you. Why Do Others Not See the Abuse? They Only See the Good Abuse normally occurs in a simple cycle. You have a period of abuse followed by reconciliation and then a honeymoon period where the abuser is especially kind and loving. Since the actual abuse is normally only done in private, other people only see the honeymoon phase where the abuser appears to be a perfect, even doting, spouse[vi]. Mind Games and Justification Abusive husbands are often very good at belittling their spouses, damaging their self-esteem and convincing them that the abuse is their own fault. Abused women can often be so disoriented by suffering abuse from the person they love that they end up rationalizing or...

In this episode Neil responds to a woman who wonders why Neil didn’t identify verbal abuse in last week’s podcast. She had been in an abusive relationship but didn’t realize it until she read Patricia Evans’ book, The Verbally Abusive Relationship and is concerned that if it isn’t called out, that we’re enabling it. Neil explains the many factors that can influence how derogatory words are used and felt and how the label of abuse can be used productively and why sometimes it is not. Neil recommends Patricia Evans’ books and wants the listener to know that their emotional needs matter and that they always deserve respect, and adopting a personally empowered position and establishing healthy limits and boundaries is the best way to address issues and problems in a relationship and the best way to get great results in your life in general.

Join Graham Hunt (www.linkedin.com/in/graham-hunt-7395671a/) & Patricia Evans (www.linkedin.com/in/patriciaevans/) as they discuss the findings from our new survey on how organizations can gain competitive advantage by seizing the opportunities brought by GDPR. Read our report here: goo.gl/c6HvE1

Patricia Evans | The Verbally Abusive Relationship ABOUT THIS EPISODE On episode 1 of the Life Speaks Podcast, best-selling author of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Patricia Evans, shares insights on verbal abuse and how to know if the abuser is likely to change his behavior. Listen and learn and find a path to happiness! Life Speaks can be heard on The AIR Wednesday at 1:30pm and 7pm, with replays Friday at 9:30am and Monday at 12:30pm. Life Speaks is independently produced and hosted by Michele Zirkle.  ©Michele Zirkle. All rights reserved.       ABOUT THE PODCAST Michele Zirkle is a published author, life coach and energy healer. In addition to hosting a weekly radio show, Life Speaks, on AIRadio she writes inspirational columns for newspapers throughout the country and presents her transformative program, “Ignite the Light Within,” designed to teach how to set relationship boundaries and thrive within or outside a dysfunctional relationship. Her first novel, Rain No Evil, sold over 2,000 copies after her appearance on Coast to Coast. Michele’s Vignettes and short stories have appeared in Mountain Ink Literary Journal and The Journal of Health and Human Experience. She is a graduate of Concord College and Marshall Graduate School and recently earned her PhD in holistic healing.     OTHER WAYS TO FIND THE PODCAST jQuery(document).ready(function() { jQuery('#slider_4358').owlCarousel({ responsive:{ 0:{ items:1 }, 480:{ items:2 }, 768:{ items:3 }, 980:{ items:4 }, 1200:{ items:4 }, 1500:{ items:4 } }, autoplay : true, autoplayTimeout : 5000, autoplayHoverPause : true, smartSpeed : 200, fluidSpeed : 200, autoplaySpeed : 200, navSpeed : 200, dotsSpeed : 200, loop : true, nav : true, navText : ['',''], dots : true, responsiveRefreshRate : 200, slideBy : 1, mergeFit : true, autoHeight : false, mouseDrag : true, touchDrag : true }); jQuery('#slider_4358').css('visibility', 'visible'); sa_resize_slider_4358(); window.addEventListener('resize', sa_resize_slider_4358); function sa_resize_slider_4358() { var min_height = '50'; var win_width = jQuery(window).width(); var slider_width = jQuery('#slider_4358').width(); if (win_width < 480) { var slide_width = slider_width / 1; } else if (win_width < 768) { var slide_width = slider_width / 2; } else if (win_width < 980) { var slide_width = slider_width / 3; } else if (win_width < 1200) { var slide_width = slider_width / 4; } else if (win_width < 1500) { var slide_width = slider_width / 4; } else { var slide_width = slider_width / 4; } slide_width = Math.round(slide_width); var slide_height = '0'; if (min_height == 'aspect43') { slide_height = (slide_width / 4) * 3; slide_height = Math.round(slide_height); } else if (min_height == 'aspect169') { slide_height = (slide_width / 16) * 9; slide_height = Math.round(slide_height); } else { slide_height = (slide_width / 100) * min_height; slide_height = Math.round(slide_height); } jQuery('#slider_4358 .owl-item .sa_hover_container').css('min-height', slide_height+'px'); } });       SUPPORT LOCAL PODCASTING Let’s keep local podcasting alive!  If you like our podcast, please help us continue this great entertaining and educational program.  Show your support by making a financial donation, underwriting the podcast, or advertising your business or service on the show. Donate now or contact us about sponsorships and advertising.   jQuery(document).ready(function() { jQuery('#slider_3943').owlCarousel({ items : 1, smartSpeed : 0, autoplay : false, autoplayHoverPause : false, smartSpeed : 0, fluidSpeed : 0, autoplaySpeed : 0, navSpeed : 0, dotsSpeed : 0, loop : true, nav : false, navText : ['',''], dots : false,

Jon Lovitz is on the show. Krista talks about the reason for the break with the love of her life and how he just wasn't that into her, and Jon decides that she likes it in the butt. Hmmm... Two amazing friends getting through life .. and love pains, while while discussing THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, by Patricia Evans. Check out www.DragonWagonShop.com for awesome "I'm Fine." T-shirts and mugs! "I'm Fine" is a part of the Dragon Wagon Radio independent podcast network. Visit www.dragonwagonradio.com for more!  

Patricia Evans is a facilitator and consultant with more than 30 years of experience in health care, communications and the social profit sector. Following an early career as a journalist in both print and television, she went back to school and acquired formal communications training. She worked for more than a decade at BC Children’s Hospital, including serving as Director of Public Affairs and Communications. Pat honed her governance and project leadership skills as Vice President and Senior Advisor at the Michael Smith Foundation for Health Research in Vancouver. Pat describes herself as a governance geek who thrives on the variety of working with a constantly changing list of clients, each with unique challenges. The mission of her consulting practice is to Support and empower individuals and organizations to create a better future. Jaeny Baik takes business owners from “zero to hero” in front of the video camera. She first cut her teeth as a reporter and TV host, digging up stories for a decade at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Today Jaeny coaches on-camera performance, and writes video scripts with authentic PUNCH! More than a thousand entrepreneurs have trained under her signature system, learning new techniques to perform with confidence on video. She’s media coached clients around the world, including Qatar in the Middle East via video Skype. Jaeny’s passion runs deep - slaying corporate clichés and revealing the honest, human face behind business through online video marketing. Her website is JennyBeckMedia.

Please give your warmest welcome to today's guest- the incomparable woman and author, Patricia Evans! Today's episode of Coffee with the Sarlos focuses heavily on her book The Verbally Abusive Relationship, a book the ladies continuously refer clients and listeners to for the purpose of education and empowerment. This episode has been one that both [...]

Please give your warmest welcome to today's guest- the incomparable woman and author, Patricia Evans! Today's episode of Coffee with the Sarlos focuses heavily on her book The Verbally Abusive Relationship, a book the ladies continuously refer clients and listeners to for the purpose of education and empowerment. This episode has been one that both [...]

GUEST PAUL COLAIANNI: Paul Colaianni is host of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast and author of the book: The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth for Critical Thinkers. He helps people all over the world become empowered so that they can make decisions that are right for them. He currently lives in Atlanta, Georgia. In this episode, Paul talks with us about the damage of manipulation and emotionally abusive relationships. He offers signs and symptoms to help identify a toxic relationship. He also gives us two important keys in helping transform emotional abusive relationships. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear more explanations, stories and examples.) IMPORTANT POINTS FROM PAUL COLAIANNI: Toxic relationship are when you feel bad more often than not. “One of the main functions of an emotional manipulator is to get what they want, the way they want it by controlling people in the environment.” Paul Colaianni Components of Emotionally Abuse Relationship: Your partner is in control. You often feel like you are tagging along. Your partner makes you feel bad about yourself, and you mistrust yourself. You believe your partner is the only person that you can trust. You believe your partner is the only person that will show you love, and there is no one else that will love you. Manipulators usually have a really old fear that is driving their manipulative behavior. SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF MANIPULATION AND EMOTIONAL ABUSIVE IN RELATIONSHIPS, BY PAUL COLAIANNI: Each item alone does not indicate a toxic or abusive relationship. Emotional abuse tends to happen over a period of time. To get a more comprehensive assessment, check out the MEAN worksheet by Paul Colaianni. Here are a just few items that Paul shared with us: “During and after a conversation with your partner, you can often feel (embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, anxious, angry, uneasy, and especially feeling like you are blamed or responsible for what is wrong in the relationship). Before you met your partner, you felt pretty good about yourself. Everything in the relationship seems so complex. You allow your boundaries or your values to be violated. You feel bad honoring your boundaries. You are always trying to find ways to make your partner happy, even at the cost of your own happiness. You apologize a lot. Your partner talks and talks and talks and talks. You don’t know where your passion for life is. You dread losing the relationship, even though you are mostly unhappy. You feel like you are going crazy. You feel guilty almost all the time. You believe you are not worthy or lovable.” TWO KEYS TO CREATE CHANGE: If you are the victim: Start trusting yourself and make a decision about what you are going to do about your situation. Trust your decision. If you are the manipulator: Put your focus on yourself. Take absolute accountability for your experience. MENTIONED: The Overwhelmed Brain (Paul Colaianni’s website) Manipulation and Emotional Abuse Worksheet (link to Paul Colaianni’s MEAN Worksheet) Are You With a Manipulative Person? – Indecision and Regret (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) Are You Being Manipulated? (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) Identifying Your Sense of Self – Overcoming the Guilt of Leaving the Emotional Abuser – Diminishing Emotional Triggers (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) Transforming the Emotionally Abusive Relationship (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) The Meaning of Communication – Guilt by Manipulation – Obsessing Over the Ex (The Overwhelmed Brain Podcast Episode) The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control, by Dorothy McCoy (book) The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition: How to recognize it and how to respond, by Patricia Evans (book) TRANSCRIPT: Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 113: How To Identify Manipulative & Emotionally Abusive Relationships with Paul Colaianni [Transcript] If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you!  If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

Midwives are health care providers best known for caring for women through pregnancy and birth, but they also provide primary care to women of all ages – from puberty through the child-bearing years into menopause. Patricia Evans, certified nurse midwife with MemorialCare Medical Group, shares information on what women should know about know Midwives.

Verbal abuse expert Patricia Evans explains what verbal abuse is, the dynamics of the verbally abusive relationship, why the abuser treats his target the way he/she does and protective tactics for victims.

Stephani Roberts introduces The Audacious Life podcast features snippets from interviews with author Patricia Evans and survivors of verbal and emotional abuse: Sarah, Renee Roberts Kopp, Angie Shyr, and Patti Cassidy

What effect do human emotions have on the environment and beyond? These and other questions are being put to the test in a bold, scientific experiment to measure the impact of both positive and negative thoughts and feelings on the earth's magnetic grid.Worldwide, project initiated by the Institute of HeartMath LLC, a US based institution focused on bringing positive change to the world is a science-based, co-creative project to unite people in heart-focused care and intention, to facilitate the shift in global consciousness from instability and discord to balance, cooperation and enduring peace.It is planned for numerous sensor sites to be strategically place around the world. Three are already in place in California, Saudi Arabia and England with four more funded and soon to be functioning in Canada, New Zealand, Brazil and South Africa. The sensors are funded entirely by charitable donation. Emotional-intelligence (EQ) Tele summit 2012EQ abbreviation:1. (Psychology) emotional quotient, a (notional) measure of a person's adequacy in such areas as self-awareness, empathy, and dealing sensitively with other people.This unique Summit is being initiated by Kim Knight, Director of the Art of Health, nominated last year for New Zealand Woman of the year for her innovative work in health and science. The summit will feature 26 world experts in the field of human emotion.Presenters will demonstrate through proven methodologies how developing and using EQ is essential for personal health, healthy relationships, business achievement, successful education and authentic wealth creation. Above and beyond this, they will also share how the use of EQ (as opposed to only IQ) is a pre-requisite for the positive development of the human race and earth, and how the future of the planet may even depend on it.Luminaries such as Dr Bradley Nelson (US), Richard Moat PhD (NZ), Rob van Overbruggen (NL), Richard Flook (CAN) and Kim Knight (NZ) will be joining the summit to share their revolutionary findings on how emotions have been discovered to be at the core of many chronic illnesses. Many such illnesses have often been deemed 'incurable' in the prevailing medical paradigm, and presenters will share the dramatic and often instantaneous recoveries thousands of people have experienced using their ground breaking methodologies.Other well-respected EQ experts included Joshua Freedman (US), COO of 6 Seconds, who will covering the role of EQ in education, Dr Manjir Samanta-Laughton (UK), aka the 'Punk Scientist' best known for her revolutionary findings in the field of quantum physics, and Pat Armitstead, the world's first joyologist. Other cutting-edge topics include Adriane Hartigan von Strauch's (NZ) seminar on 'Quantum Intimacy', Brittany Watkins' (US) seminar on overcoming emotional obesity and Patricia Evans'seminar on emotional abuse.The online global event will kick off Mon 3 September (US) with Marvin Oka, co-author with Grant Soosalu of the ground-breaking new book 'mBraining' and the 'mBIT' multiple brain integration technique, who will share how the latest findings in neuro-science show we have three complex and functional brains and how we can harness and integrate these multiple brains for greater success, wisdom and happiness.The Summit will run for 2 weeks from 3 September until 18 September, with several live and pre-recorded 'virtual' events. Listeners can tune in from anywhere in the world via the internet and phone in for the live events to interact with presenters.Free listening options are available, although the goal of the paid option is to donate 10% of proceeds from premium ticket sales to the Global Coherence Initiative.For detailed information and registration see:http://www.eventbrite.com/event/3741721590/EQ2012/20938544958For details of the Global Coherence Initiative seehttp://artofhealth.co.nz/s-events-telesummit-emotional-intelligence2012-global-coherence.htm Kim Knightwww.artofhealth.co.nz

Verbal abuse hurts and it goes skin deep. Learn the 4 warning signs of verbal abuse and how to stop it as Sallie Felton interviews Patricia Evans. Patricia Evans is a nationally acclaimed consultant who has written the first guide to identify verbal abuse and show step-by-step how a victim can get free and begin […] The post A Fresh Start – Victory Over Verbal Abuse appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

This week on Mom Talk Radio, Allyson Lewis, author of The 7 Minute Solution: Creating a Life with Meaning 7 Minutes at a Time. Dr. Daisy Sutherland discusses focusing on creating goals not resolutions for the New Year. Lisa Nichols, "The Break through Specialist" talks about how she went from a struggling single mom to a motivational millionaire entrepreneur. The Mom's Roundtable discusses how to keep the kids busy while they are home during school breaks. Patricia Evans, author of Victory Over Verbal Abuse: A Healing Guide to Renewing Your Spirit & Reclaiming Your Life. This show is sponsored by Lands' End and Family Circle.