The How Not To Screw Up Your Kids podcast is for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child†couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation.
Do your children refuse to follow boundaries?Do you think you are never being listened to?In the first of a two part bucket emptying special, we are going to figure out the tricky issue of setting boundaries and getting our kids to actually respect them!But here's a spoiler: you should not feel guilty for setting healthy boundaries. As a parent, it's your job to be the rulemaker, and your kids won't always like or understand that. And in this episode I'm going to share 5 of the biggest reasons for non-compliance to help you understand why your child is saying no.Then, in the next bucket emptying episode, we can explore some of the things you can start doing right away to help you deal with this.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:00:48 - Don't feel guilty about setting boundaries03:04 - Our kids want some control over their own lives06:37 - Pushing boundaries is not just a phase; it's a cycle10:28 - Is your child capable of doing what you're asking them to do?15:40 - Catching them off guard
Your sense of self is so important, and a lot of it is wrapped up in who we think we are and how we compare ourselves to others.The same goes for your children, and supporting this will be one of your biggest challenges as parents.That's why, in this episode, I'm going to explain what identity is, I'll talk through the different developmental stages, and what you can do to help your kids navigate these particular stages in their life, as well as your own.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:04:19 - What is identity?08:24 - Conflict is at the core11:38 - Infancy conflicts14:20 - Autonomy and purpose18:54 - Primary school and self-confidence23:02 - Adolescence and identity26:35 - Intimacy versus isolation29:23 - Middle age stagnation34:10 - Old age despair
Do you compare yourself to other parents?Do you sometimes think you're not good enough?Here's a secret… you are good enough, and every parent out there has the same doubt. I say it's time to silence the inner critic!In this short bucket emptying episode, I give you four practical tips you can start doing today, to get rid of your inner critic and start being the happiest, most confident version of yourself. Because you cannot possibly look after your kids if you don't first look after yourself.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:49 - Every parent experiences at least one of these03:16 - “I'm a bad parent”04:46 - Give yourself some slack05:49 - What's your mantra?07:46 - Find your tribe09:50 - Go to sleep!
Everything you know about ADHD is probably wrong.That's the title of an influential article written by today's guest, journalist and author Jessie Hewitson. Her sons are both neurodivergent and, it turns out, so is she, which she discovered while writing her book on ADHD.Jessie joins me to talk about the challenges she faced before her son's diagnosis, the guilt she feels as a parent for not acting quicker or better during that time, and why the education system is built for a neurotypical world… and the problems you might face if you are also parenting a neurodiverse child.This is a fascinating conversation that will reframe everything you think you know about neurodivergence, autism and adhd.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:51 - The social shaming around ADHD11:01 - ADHD myth versus reality14:54 - ASD or ADHD?20:33 - Rebuilding self-esteem in ADHD children27:23 - F you all31:31 - A neurotypical world35:57 - Barriers in the system40:04 - Do I have ADHD?More from Jessie:Buy the book: https://a.co/d/eHGvsxf Read her article in The Times: https://www.thetimes.com/life-style/parenting/article/my-adhd-family-what-you-think-wrong-gq6s6hl3c?msockid=2f94feb8d57068851bbdebd1d476690b Visit NeuroUniverse: https://www.neurouniverse.co.ukConnect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessie-hewitson
The first day at a new school can be a scary experience for many children, as well as us parents! But what do you do if your kid is super nervous?We often feel like the bad guy making them go in when they clearly don't want to, even when we know it's the best thing for them, so in this week's bucket emptying episode, I give you my ten top tips for managing those first day jitters.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:21 - It's normal to feel nervous05:33 - Active listening09:28 - Pulling back bedtime13:28 - Role play problem solving14:55 - Prep ourselves18:03 - Protect their energy21:35 - A happy child is more likely to learn24:51 - Pulling everything together
Is your child about to start school for the first time?Are they about to return from their Summer holidays?How do you know if they're ready?Studies suggest that a majority of parents believe their children are ready for school, but many teachers believe a large portion of kids are not ready for school when they start. So who's right?In this episode, I explore some of the red flags that might suggest your child is not fully prepared for the challenges of starting school, and offers some practical advice on what you can do to help.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:59 - A common myth05:53 - What does school ready mean?08:53 - Figure out your starting point10:58 - 6 honest questions to ask yourself17:07 - The art of negotiation18:55 - Managing conflict and separation anxiety23:43 - Closing the skills gap
As parents, it's our job to make the rules and enforce them. And it's our children's job to challenge those boundaries and push us to our limits.That's why, when we try getting them to do something they simply don't want to do, we often hear “you don't trust me!”Even though it's normal and age appropriate, I get it - it's so frustrating. How do you parent this? How do you respond to this apparent lose-lose scenario?In this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to give you five different responses you can use when your kids say this.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:41 - We're all learning05:00 - Our role is to keep you safe07:07 - Laying down the law10:00 - Reinforcing family values11:33 - A hard no
Are your children smart? Spoiler alert: it doesn't matter.I don't believe that academic intelligence means your child will be successful in life, because real life is about so much more than grades.In this episode I am going to reveal what I think are the five essential life skills your kids need to be successful. I'll tell you what they are, and give you practical ways you can develop this skill in your child.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:03:56 - The 5 Skills05:40 - Planning17:07 - Social curiosity25:19 - Self-regulation32:38 - Focus42:18 - Adaptability
Do your children shut down when you ask them questions?Are they often frustrated that you don't understand them?Do they think you don't listen, or worse, don't care?Active listening doesn't come naturally to us. It's a learned skill, and it helps us show our kids that we're not just hearing them, but we understand them, and when their guard comes down you will be AMAZED at the results.In this episode I am going to show you what active listening is and how you can start doing it today to create more meaningful conversations with your children of any age.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:20 - A conversation of sounds07:40 - When our children are more articulate11:50 - Examples of active listening14:12 - It doesn't need to work every time
Do your children constantly fight and argue?There are many reasons why brothers and sisters butt heads, and it's totally normal, but often we're too busy doing damage control that we don't take a step back to think about what we can do differently.In this episode, I'm going to give you five hacks which you can start using immediately to help your warring children get along (mostly).So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:04 - Create opportunities for whole family time04:19 - Special time for each child12:08 - I want to be a cat18:58 - Create own time space20:59 - Establish a family pact25:24 - Use schedules and rotas for high conflict situations28:59 - The power of praise
What do you do with defiant children who won't get involved in group activities?I recently had this question from a listener, and I'm sure they're not the only parent dealing with this! So in this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to give you some practical tips and easy things you can do right away, so that you and your children are happier!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:23 - The behaviour is not the issue04:49 - Unmet needs07:38 - Skills gaps11:17 - Reframing
Whether you're expecting your first child or your tenth, parenting never gets easier.At every age, with every new addition, we as new parents have to learn to expect the unexpected, and if you learn that when you're expecting, the unexpected might not end up being so… unexpected. You see?In this episode, I'm going to help you prepare for your parenting journey, because even though there's no magic wand, as a mum of two and a child psychologist, I've picked up a few life lessons that I'd like to share with you.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:44 - Expect the unexpected04:56 - What of parent do you want to be?09:26 - What kind of child do you want to raise?14:55 - Connection is critical20:26 - Parenting is the hardest thing you will ever do22:46 - Don't lose the old you25:14 - Nurture your tribe28:47 - Learn to take care of yourself
If you're a parent, you might dread the thought of a long car ride. Managing your kids' hunger, boredom, and frustration is like being in parenting hell until you reach your destination.Well, you're not alone.So in this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to share some quick tips and simple hacks to help you manage those long journeys without having a meltdown!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:28 - Support the podcast02:24 - Get everyone involved in planning04:47 - Get your children to pack their own bags10:11 - Plan A, B, C, and D12:46 - The element of surprise15:28 - Reflect back and learn for next time
Do you feel overwhelmed by the pressure to provide constant experiences?Have kids who are "always bored" or glued to devices?Or struggle with guilt about not doing "enough" activities?Then this episode is for you. I challenge the modern parenting myth that we need to pack our children's lives with endless activities and experiences. Instead, I reveal why unstructured play is actually your child's most powerful learning tool.I break down exactly how play develops emotional intelligence, social skills, problem-solving abilities, and academic success - often better than formal lessons. I also share game-changing strategies for different age groups, from toddlers to teenagers.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:28 - Play to recharge04:45 - Play to work through and resolve issues08:16 - Play to teach social skills14:12 - Play is a safe space to fail17:24 - Reframe the purpose of play23:11 - Allocate time to play27:24 - Never too old to play
What do you do when your child says "Everyone hates me," "I'm rubbish at everything," or "I'm a loser"?In this bucket-emptying episode, I share exactly how to respond in the moment when your child is being self-critical.I'll walk you through my 5-step approach to handle these heartbreaking moments without dismissing their feelings or being overly positive. You'll learn why that internal dialogue matters so much, how to validate their experience while offering a more realistic perspective, and my powerful "pause and reframe" technique that helps children catch themselves before negative self-talk becomes hardwired.This is about what to do RIGHT NOW when these comments happen - not the long-term strategies (that's coming in a full Thursday episode). Whether your child occasionally has these moments or this has become a pattern, these techniques will help you respond in a way that actually helps rather than accidentally making things worse.Remember: self-criticism reflects their internal monologue, and with the right approach, we can help them develop a healthier inner voice. Their brains are incredibly plastic - we have time to turn this around.Key topics covered:Understanding your child's internal dialogue and self-talkThe 5-step response framework for self-critical momentsWhy validation comes before correctionTeaching the "pause and reframe" techniqueHow to model healthy self-talk as a parentThis episode is perfect for parents dealing with children who struggle with self-esteem, negative self-talk, or perfectionism.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:35 - What is self talk?03:50 - Validate your child's feelings05:55 - Offer a realistic alternative08:30 - Pause and reframe11:56 - Rome wasn't built in a day
Struggling with your child's impulsive behavior?In this episode, I share 6 game-changing strategies to help children break free from autopilot reactions and develop better impulse control. Whether your child has ADHD, anxiety, or gets emotionally dysregulated, these techniques will help them pause, think, and respond more thoughtfully.I'll walk you through my traffic light zone system to identify when your child needs support most, plus teach you practical tools like the STOP method, 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, and my favorite snap card game that makes learning impulse control fun.These strategies work for neurotypical kids too - and they're just as valuable for us parents when we find ourselves reacting on autopilot. Remember: the brain is a muscle, and with practice, we can all get stronger at managing our impulses.Key topics covered:Understanding impulsivity vs impulsesThe red, amber, green zone system6 practical strategies you can start using todayWhy starting with low-stakes situations is crucialHow to model impulse control for your childrenIf you're a parent of children with ADHD, anxiety, or any child who struggles with big emotions and reactive behaviors, then this episode will be especially relevant.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:02 - The 4 traits of impulsivity04:09 - Red amber and green zones09:04 - The brain is a muscle11:29 - Start with low stakes and easy wins13:09 - 3 things you can do right now19:56 - 5, 4, 3, 2, 122:55 - STOP27:26 - Children do what they see
Every parent has been there – your child has a complete meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, and you feel all eyes on you. In this essential Bucket Emptying episode, I share 5 game-changing strategies for handling public tantrums without the shame spiral.Discover how to transform these challenging moments from overwhelming experiences into opportunities for connection and growth. I break down the psychology behind emotional dysregulation and provide practical techniques you can use right away.What You'll Learn:Why ignoring public judgment is crucial for your child's developmentHow to prioritize safety while maintaining your child's dignityPreparation strategies that prevent tantrums before they startThe power of involving children in daily tasks and planningReflection techniques to break the cycle of public meltdownsWhether you're dealing with toddler tantrums, preschooler meltdowns, or even teenage emotional outbursts, this episode offers compassionate, practical guidance that works. And remember, tantrums are simply a window into our child's inner world. With the right tools, we can help them navigate big feelings with confidence.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:26 - Tantrums are a lens into their world03:59 - Calm, quiet reassurance06:40 - Prepare for the worst, hope for the best09:29 - Our children WANT to help10:31 - Reflect and learn
I'm sharing something that honestly terrifies me as a parent - how our devices are literally rewiring our children's brains from as early as 4 months old.Today I'm joined by Dr. Charlotte Armitage, author of Generation Zombie, and what she reveals about screen time and brain development will change how you think about tech in your home..What we dive into:Why I discovered that babies as young as 4 months are now interacting with screens (and what this does to their developing brains)How I learned that 20% of children starting school need speech therapy - and the connection to our device useWhy dopamine addiction from screens is creating behaviors that look exactly like ADHDThe shocking truth about how prams now come with iPad holders for babiesWhat happened when I realized I was modeling constant device use without knowing itWhy AI chatbots are the next level of concern for our kids' social development.This episode is essential if you're dealing with:A child who can't focus or sit still at schoolConstant battles over screen time limitsWorries about your own device modelingQuestions about when (or if) to give your child a smartphoneConcerns about your child's social skills and friendships.I'll be honest - some of what Charlotte shares made me want to throw all our devices out the window! But she also gives us hope with practical strategies we can implement right now. We talk about creating device-free zones, the importance of eye contact during feeding, and why our children don't need to "learn" technology young.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation….More from Charlotte:Generation Zombie Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/generation-zombie-raising-healthy-humans-in-a-world/id1814827224 Get the Book NOW - https://amzn.eu/d/eSVeQ9a Follow on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@drcharlottearmitage Website - https://charlottearmitage.co.uk/ Highlights from this episode:03:57 - New tech means new challenges08:20 - RIP IRL14:10 - Attachment issues from tech use19:44 - A boom in speech and language therapy24:38 - ADHD and technology32:15 - What is Generation Zombie?36:41 - Impact into teen years42:28 - The risks of AI.
Have you ever played Jenga?Sure, it's a fun family game, but when you think about it - working together to build a structure taller and taller and, when it eventually topples, rebuilding without hesitation and starting again - Jenga is the perfect analogy for a family.Which is why in today's bucket emptying episode, I'm going to show you how Jenga can be used to build a strong, meaningful connection with your family… and become a stronger, happier, and more resilient family for it.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:45 - Nothing is more challenging than a disconnected family02:02 - Why Jenga?05:52 - What qualities do you bring to your family?09:25 - Family gratitude
Strong-willed, stubborn, defiant, opinionated, headstrong - that's how I like to think of myself for recording a podcast during a heatwave! But it could also be some of the words you use to describe your child. If so, this episode is for you.I know what it's like when your child is naturally headstrong. They can be a force of nature, and some days parenting them feels impossible... especially if they inherited these character traits from you! In this 30-minute episode, I'm sharing my 7 go-to strategies to help you overcome those daily challenges we all face.What I'll share with you:How I've learned to reframe those impossible situationsMy favorite ways to empower kids through meaningful choicesWhy I discovered that strong-willed children learn differently (and how to work with their nature)Communication techniques that actually work in my homeHow we established family values that stickWhy I believe being quick to apologize changes everythingThis episode is perfect if you're dealing with:Daily power struggles and defiant behaviorA child who seems impossible to parent some daysThe challenge of parenting a mini-me who inherited your headstrong traitsFeeling like you're parenting in a "war zone"Whether you're in the thick of it right now or just need some fresh strategies for your force-of-nature child, I'm here to offer hope and practical solutions that have worked for me and countless other parents.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:00 - Podcasting in a heatwave00:56 - Parenting in a war zone05:48 - Common traits of headstrong children08:36 - How to reframe a situation13:45 - How to empower by giving our kids choices17:12 - Strong-willed children learn from experience18:54 - Communicate regularly21:19 - Family values23:30 - Be quick to apologise
Do you suffer from parental guilt?Do you often guilt yourself into doing things you know you shouldn't do?Does this guilt manifest in material stuff like toys and treats?You don't need to feel embarrassed, we've all been there. It's so easy to feel that guilt, and then we do whatever it takes to make that guilt disappear.If you think your parental guilt is getting better of you, I'm here to help.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:31 - The dictionary defines guilt as…03:22 - You can flex the rules04:34 - How we can check ourselves07:03 - Ask yourself these two questions09:51 - Shifting from guilt to reason
Today's episode is a massive treat, as I am joined by Sophie David, a play guru, influencer and now author of Read, Write, Play: 100 Easy Ways to Make Phonics Fun for Children Aged 3-7.In this conversation, Sophie explains how she implements all of the information and resources on her website, to create a fun learning environment for her kids, from phonics and reading to homework, screen time, and more!As Mary Poppins once sang:In every job that must be doneThere is an element of funYou find the fun and snap!The job's a gameThe same applies to our kids' education, and it begins at home, with us. Learning is as fun as we choose to make it, and our job as parents is to unlock the curiosity in our children and help them want to learn.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Additional Resources:Little Happy Learners: https://www.littlehappylearners.co.uk/ Sophie's book, available now: https://geni.us/readwriteplay Connect with Sophie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/littlehappylearners/ Highlights from this episode:03:10 - Sophie's journey09:00 - You are your baby's best friend15:16 - Monkey see monkey do20:26 - There is no normal26:28- Phonics is not just about ABC32:38 - Managing screen time37:48 - Learning is experiential41:50 - Mum, businesswoman, funlover, and author45:27 - Where do we start?
Leaving your child with someone else is one of the hardest things a parent will do.What if they need me and I'm not there?Am I just being a bad parent?What if they don't like the babysitter?These are all rational concerns, but they shouldn't stop you because, as we've discussed before, you cannot look after your children if you don't look after yourselves.That's why in this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to share four rational fears you might have when you leave your kids in someone else's care, and what you can do to overcome them.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, take the next 46 minutes to relax, and enjoy the conversation…Read Dr. Maryhan's article in Bubble Life, as mentioned in this episode, Navigating Separation Anxiety: https://joinbubble.com/for-parents/navigating-separation-anxiety-expert-tips-from-dr-maryhan_29690.html Highlights from this episode:01:09 - Common myths are getting in your way!02:43 - Are you being selfish?05:23 - What if something goes wrong?07:58 - What if they feel abandoned?11:4 - What if my child doesn't get on with this?
Is your brain always on?You're brushing your teeth, but also mentally planning meals, remembering the pickup times and wondering if you've RSVP'd to the latest birthday party?Parenting is tough, and the burnout is real. I'm here to tell you not to be ashamed about that, but to talk about it, because every parent out there is feeling it!To talk more about this invisible load, and the impact it can have on your life, work, mental and physical health,,I'm joined by Rania Robinson, the CEO of Quiet Storm, a mum of two children and she also happens to be my sister, so trust me when I tell you she knows a thing or two about juggling that invisible load!We had an amazing chat about the ups and downs of balancing parenthood with a career, and why it can feel like being a mum and an employee simply doesn't co-exist.We also discuss how gender roles can pile more pressure on you as a mum because, let's face it, you're probably the one who keeps track of everything… and everyone!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, take the next 46 minutes to relax, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:54 - Taking control of your own destiny07:38 - A thankless role12:26 - Heartbreaking22:05 - Gender differences and family dynamics28:16 - Resentment building32:29 - Navigating mumspeak37:08 - Mad mum moments
It's a moment most parents dread, but it's inevitable for all of us… when your child tells you, for the first time, that have a boyfriend or girlfriend.And for many of us, this might be much sooner than we'd expect. Not teenagers, but while they're still in primary school.When this happens, it's so important to deal with it head on, and I'm here to tell you exactly how to do this. And, if you find this bucket emptying episode useful, listen out for an episode coming very soon where I dive into the topic of sex education and relationships in far more detail.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:05 - Going down the rabbit hole03:06 - Be curious and interested06:07 - Where are they getting their information?08:38 - Correct the knowledge gaps
This week I am revisiting a classic episode from last year about what to do when expecting your child - however we find ourselves embarking on the journey to parenting.It's also supremely relevant for all the other stages of our children's lives as they reach them -as these are another birth - walking, talking, preschool, school, university, first job, leaving home...My six pointers will help keep you grounded and sane.Here are the highlights: (01:14) Parents-to-Be consume information by the barrel load (05:13) Read about different milestones, not just birth (08:02) Parenting isn't black and white (11:12) It's always messier than you expect! (14:16) Don't fall into this parenting trap... (16:46) The right time to have difficult conversations with partners (20:36) Make sure communication with co-parents is open and often (23:17) Different do what they see, not what we say (26:32) Self-care is critical (30:22) Every child develops and adapts uniquely
Do you have entitled kids?Are you at a loss about what to do with them?In this bucket emptying episode, I give you some practical advice to help you tackle entitlement in your children, because we both know all kids are kind at heart, so let's bring that out in bundles!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:30 - Our kids have more than we did03:41 - Agency versus contribution08:21 - Acts of service10:36 - An important caveat
As the great Ru Paul would say, “if you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?”As parents, we instinctively put our children and family before ourselves, but that's not always the best thing! In this episode I discuss the importance of self care, and why neglecting your own needs could be bad… not just for you, but for everyone.And joining me to discuss this is a super special guest, Tina Lond-Caulk, otherwise known as the Nutrition Guru. She is a bestselling author and speaker with over 20 years of experience as a clinical nutritionist.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Tina:The Nutrition Guru Website: https://www.thenutritionguru.co.uk/ Tina on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenutritionguru/Tina on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTTPdaxsREbzkRKtl29OnXgThe Nutrition Guru on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thenutritionguruMentioned in this episode:Sensate: https://www.getsensate.com/?variant=40503515250777Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/Highlights from this episode:01:24 - Mamma Mia!05:01 -The building blocks of self care09:44 - Food is medicine14:23 - Optimal versus recommended19:00 - For the coffee lovers23:56 - Placing ourselves at the bottom of the list29:30 - Habit stacking36:46 - Gina Ford, Get in the Bin!41:06 - Dealing with fussy eaters44:45 - Go nuts50:05 - The science of alcohol
Confession time: I have put my kids' artwork in the bin.Let's face it, we can't keep everything they do, and not everything they do will be successful or, in your opinion, praise-worthy.But praise isn't just about the outcome; it's not about winning or losing. Praise, when used at the right time and in the right way, can be super powerful at building confident, resilient children.In this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to share five ways that you can give praise that will nurture skills, build character, and help you raise children who don't fear failure and feel supported to try anything.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:29 - Hacks02:43 - A whole splodge of nothing05:36 - Be specific06:49 - Effort over outcome11:01 - Celebrate the small wins13:26 - Hone in on skills
What do you do when you're out in public and your child absolutely loses it?Dealing with tantrums can be a daily occurrence as parents, but have you ever been at the end of tether and lost your cool?You're not the worst parent - we've all been there! And that's why, in this episode, I'm going to help you deal with the meltdowns and the tantrums.You're going to understand what can cause them, how you can prevent them, and what to do in the moment so that you can handle the situation like the pro you are.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:38 - Tantrums are not just for toddlers03:26 - Why do tantrums happen?11:15 - How to prevent tantrums16:17 - Being aware of the triggers19:39 - Positive attention27:03 - Managing tantrums in the moment
Does your child the one who always runs to the front of a crowd, or insists on being the first in the bath, or can't wait their turn during a game?Don't worry, because you're not alone! Insisting on being first is a common challenge faced by parents, so in this bucket emptying episode I am going to explain the reasons why this happens, and give you some practical things you can do to address it.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:03 - The biggest reasons for it05:20 - Seeing siblings as more capable06:56 - What can you do about it?12:47 - It's about they feel about themselves15:53 - Descriptive praise and why it works
As parents, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. To be patient. To never lose our temper. But spoiler alert: we're still human.In this episode I'm here to help you in those moments where things are about to bubble over, and then you lose your cool. Because when you do that, you feel awful: it's not who you are. I get it!I am going to share six things that you can do to help, so you no longer yell, you no longer cry, and you no longer have to Google for answers.Remember: behind every super parent is a normal parent!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:38 - I'm a terrible parent!05:18 - How does it get to this?07:36 - The stress bucket14:53 - Self care is not a luxury16:02 - Managing expectations23:32 - Do-overs26:40 - Finding alternative solutions29:40 - Be kind
Are you a problem solver?You're a parent, so of course you are! But not all problems need us to swoop in and save the day. As hard as it might be, our children sometimes need the opportunity to problem-solve, make mistakes and build those core skills that make them confident, resilient people.In today's bucket emptying episode, I'm going to give you a life-changing strategy to help you identify those moments.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:35 - The ability to problem solve04:07 - When to intervene as parents07:35 - Accepting agency10:57 - What is a child problem?15:56 - Multilayered examples
What should I look for in a school?Are grammar schools really better than comprehensive?How important are Ofsted reports?In this episode, as another year of school applications approaches, I'm going to guide you through the complicated and confusing world of choosing a school for your kids, with the help of my super special guest Melanie Sanderson, Managing Editor at The Good Schools Guide.The Good Schools Guide has been the number one independent resource on UK schools since 1986, providing parents with unbiased information to help them research and pick the right education for their children.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Find Out More:The Good Schools Guide: https://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/Mel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melanie-sanderson-520305190/Highlights from this episode:02:20 - What is the Good Schools Guide?07:12 - Sharp-elbowed parents (and why you should avoid them)11:05 - Grammar schools16:24 - The number one piece of advice for parents…19:25 - Do Ofsted reports matter?23:45 - SATs25:28 - Preparing our 4 year olds for school31:31 - How to look for a school
Do your children never pay attention to you?Are you at your wit's end?Don't worry, every parent struggles to get their kids to pay attention, and in this bucket emptying episode I'm going to share three things you can do that might help.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:04 - The reasons for their inattention03:27 - Outside distractions07:12 - Focus on the power of one12:19 - Setting boundaries
Do you like to fix your child's problems?Are you trying to be their best friend?Sorry to break this to you, but these are some of the reasons why your kids may not be building the resilience you hoped. And I get it - we all want to help our children, and we hate seeing them struggle, but building identity and resilience is about learning how to fail and how to problem solve.In this episode, I talk you through SPRING, or the fundamental building blocks of resilience, and reveal the eight ways we as parents can be impacting our children's resilience.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:59 - Mental health stats04:16 - A complex cause and effect07:36 - Stress is designed to help you10:41 - Self-regulation12:20 - You've got to be in it to win it13:43 - Relationships14:34 - Identity16:52 - Saying NO17:35 - Setting goals19:38 - We're not working with the end in mind21:13 - Modelling resilience23:32 - We want to take the pain away26:57 - Supporting failure, not preventing it29:21 - We are not our child's best friend32:29 - Stop obsessing over the right decision!35:36 - Being a parent of one of many roles we have
What does being the best really mean?What does ‘fitting in' look like?Parents and children living with physical disabilities live with a unique set of challenges. They often find themselves judged or ridiculed, and this can have a big impact on our kids.On this week's bucket emptying, I welcome back Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is her first children's book.We discuss how to empower our kids with self-confidence and resilience in relation to living with a disability, so they grow up seeing it not as a weakness, but as their superpower.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Cathy:Website: https://www.cathyreay.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathyreaywrites/ X: https://x.com/cathyreaywrites?lang=en How To Be Disabled And Proud: How To Be Disabled and Proud: (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...): Amazon.co.uk: Reay, Cathy: 9780241676967: Books Highlights from this episode:00:48 - The desire to just fit in04:28 - The power of community and connection06:32 - What does the ‘best' even mean?
WARNING: this podcast is not for parents.I spend a lot of my time visiting schools and speaking to classes full of children of all ages, so for once I'm dedicating a podcast episode to you, the kids.This episode is all about giving you the skills and the understanding you need to manage those days when things feel overwhelming. Maybe your mental health is taking a hit, and maybe you have moments when the pressure gets too much.Well here's the secret: it's ok! And here are some things you can do to manage that.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:45 - It's about what matters to YOU02:46 - The seesaw05:29 - Your brain has one job08:40 - Two parallel lines11:29 - Inner critic versus inner cheerleader15:16 - The 1% rule19:58 - Your stress bucket23:58 - Doom scrolling
Do your children share a room?Do they argue?Are you at your wits end?Sibling rivalries, particularly when it comes to shared bedrooms, can be fierce, but sometimes we just don't have a choice.But there's good news…There is a way to make it work. From pairing the right children (and it might not be what you think) to creating private space and time for each child, I am going to share some top tips and expert advice that will help you make sharing bedrooms feel less like a daily battle!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:26 - Developmental matching02:28 - Managing expectations05:08 - Actionable day to day tips08:56 - Allowing private time for each child11:58 - The roommate agreement13:32 - Sleep
Did you know the UK has the worst statutory paternity leave in Europe?Are you aware of the significant long term implications of reduced parental leave?And did you know that countries with better statutory paternity leave also have a smaller gender pay gap?In this episode, I am joined by Alex Lloyd Hunter, co-founder of The Dad Shift, to discuss everything from why he's putting paternity leave on the agenda to breaking down traditional 1950s family stereotypes.This is one of my favourite conversations that will really get you thinking a bit differently about parental leave.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Learn more about Alex and The Dad Shift:Website: https://dadshift.org.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadshiftukHighlights from this episode:02:09 - What does the law currently mean?04:30 - The benefits of supporting fathers09:58 - The way we parent is changing12:42 - More companies are acting15:44 - The traditional male role has changed20:36 - Celebrity Dad quotes23:27 - Challenging male stereotypes26:21 - Losing the paternal bond31:35 - Upcoming campaigns34:42 - What does good change look like?
How often do you sit down and eat together as a family?If you're a little embarrassed about the answer, then I have some news for you… you're not alone. Most families do not regularly make time to eat together, and I get it! School, work, hobbies, errands - life gets in the way.But eating together can have real benefits, not just on your kids but on your whole family, and in this episode I explore some of those reasons, and encourage you to think about how you can find time to enjoy meals together more often.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:19 - This stat might surprise you…03:14 - Show your children who their tribe is05:34 - The benefits of family mealtime08:02 - Finding their voice to express themselves
Is your child refusing to go to school?Do they seem frequently distressed?Is the school run the worst part of your day?School refusal is a growing problem, with more and more children missing more school than ever. But here's a big spoiler: it's not your fault.There are so many reasons why our kids don't want to go to school, and on today's episode I am going to unpack what those reasons are, and provide you with some actionable tips to help you manage this in an appropriate and constructive way.To discuss this, I am joined by Dr Daniel Weisberg, a highly-specialised clinical psychologist and the managing director of CAYP Psychology, an award-winning independent clinical psychology service for Children, Adolescents, and Young People.Daniel worked for NHS services for over ten years. He has substantial experience of working with children, adolescents and young people experiencing health, social, emotional and psychological difficulties.He shares some of his valuable insights to help us better understand the whys and hows of school refusal.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Daniel and CAYP:Website: https://www.cayp-psychology.com/ADHD Resource: https://www.cayp-psychology.com/wp-content/uploads/1.-ADHD-Assessments.pdfHighlights from this episode:01:42 - Understanding childrens' brains06:02 - Prevention is better than cause07:51 - The root causes of school refusal13:59 - There's no magic potion19:00 - Masking22:28 - Managing avoidance without causing distress25:30 - Expectation anxiety versus reality28:33 - Children don't come with an instruction manual32:45 - Overthinking35:48 - Understanding perspective39:08 - Is the system failing us?
“Disability is not an us and them conversation, and it's not a pity conversation. It's about teaching kids compassion and an openness to collaboration”These are the words of today's guest Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is her first children's book, and on this week's bucket emptying episode we are discussing how to have conversations with children about disability.Spoiler alert: we're all accommodating disability every day, we just don't realise it, so this may not be as challenging as you think!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Cathy:Website: https://www.cathyreay.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathyreaywrites/ X: https://x.com/cathyreaywrites?lang=en How To Be Disabled And Proud: How To Be Disabled and Proud: (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...): Amazon.co.uk: Reay, Cathy: 9780241676967: Books Highlights from this episode:00:53 -The vast spectrum of disability04:04 - Disabled people have different skills, not lesser ones06:03 - We're not there to make you feel better10:28 - It's not a big deal… do don't make it oneAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.”This quote from prolific American businessman Henry Ford is one I use often, because usually our fears - of failure, of self-worth, or of anything else - usually stem from within.The power of positive thinking, right? A positive attitude with confidence and resilience can manifest better outcomes, so in this episode I am going to tackle this with you.This episode is based on the international bestselling book Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I'm going to tackle Susan's five truths about fear, and provide some real world examples and actionable steps you can take to manage your kids' fears (and maybe your own, too!).So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:15 - As Henry Ford would say…02:37 - Fear never goes away06:12 - Everyone feels fear07:38 - Change creates fear11:06 - Action is the only way to get rid of fear13:20 - Doing comes firstAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
Does your child never seem to listen to you?Do punishments never work?Are you running out of ideas?Well, here's some tough love: your consequences aren't working, and it's probably your fault. Of course we should make sure misdemeanors are met with consequence, but if your child doesn't seem to listen, then the consequences clearly are not effective or appropriate.In this bucket emptying episode, I talk you through three things you can consider, so that consequences are not just punishments, but lead to a meaningful change in behaviour.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:27 - Consequences should be connected to the crime03:12 - What is driving the behaviour?06:23 - Consequences should be instructive, not punitiveAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
From the education system, to conflicting expectations, to technology and social media… Netflix's hit TV show Adolescence has raised many issues about how young men and boys are being raised and the challenges they face.By ignoring some of these underlying problems, we are letting down our children.Our kids deserve to grow up in a world where they feel safe.This starts with making sure we - as parents, as teachers, as role models, and as a society - are raising our boys with the skills and the emotional intelligence to thrive in the real world.To help you with this, I am going to respond to some of the key questions and themes raised by Stephen Graham's series, and give you some actionable advice that you can start putting into practice right away.This episode is not an easy one, so find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and get ready for the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:19 - Misogyny and Incel04:51 - The issues facing young men in today's world06:46 - Start having conversations08:51 - Educate yourself12:12 - What steps can you take as a family?14:24 - Teaching empathy and acceptance17:44 - Identity creates agency20:10 - Role modelsAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
If you haven't yet seen Adolescence on Netflix, what have you been doing?!Jokes aside, this TV show has been a triggering one for many of us, but especially those parents of boys. It has brought to light many issues around the manosphere, masculinity, and a generation of children who, without a safe space to have open and honest conversations with grownups, can be easily influenced by harmful content elsewhere.That's why this week's bucket emptying episode is all about how to have those difficult conversations with your kids. As the grown up in the room, it is your job to take the reigns with this, and I'm going to help you!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:56 - We're not looking for just one deep conversation02:56 - Seize natural opportunities05:07 - Instigate the conversation if needed08:33 - Don't confuse silence for an opportunity to keep talking10:10 - Leave them wanting
New research from the World Health Organisation (WHO) ranks children in England and Wales near bottom for physical activity.This reflects a world where children are becoming less active… in fact, between the ages of 7 and 16, our kids will spend on average half a year - that's six whole months - playing video games. But here's the thing…Our children are not lazy, and we're not heading for some Wall-E world where we all whizz around on floating chairs! They could just be bored.I believe we can make positive changes to get our children, and ourselves, living a healthier and more active lifestyle, so in this episode I share my top tips to help you get moving!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:39 - Stat attack!04:39 - What's the default at home?10:02 - Start from where you are, not from where you think you should be13:23 - Explore natural curiosities in other activities17:57 - Creating family activity time
Does your child always leave their room in a mess?Do they leave tasks to the last minute?Are they always on their phone, or wanting to be?As parents we tend to think of things like this as an issue, but in this episode I'm going to help you pivot, because these are not flaws. They're just skill gaps.When we can reframe these traits of our kids, then we can start to identify how they might need help and support, to gain new skills and overcome some of these day to day challenges.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:50 - We've all been there03:07 - Reframing makes a big difference07:50 - Neurodivergence
I am SO MAD!Or I was when I first listened to a guest discuss their parenting views on another top podcast. Her guidance - that children should not be in daycare and that women should stay at home for the first couple of years - I felt was too dogmatic, and I immediately jumped on the mic to record this episode.That professional's opinion comes from an informed place. However, I strongly disagree with them, and in this episode I want to share what I believe are the five core things you should be providing for your children, irrespective of family structure and circumstances.Because if you can focus on providing these things, your children will flourish.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…(now who wants to guess what podcast I was listening to?)Highlights from this episode:00:49 - The story behind this podcast05:14 - Secure attachments13:04 - Emotional support19:29 - Communication24:08 - Boundaries and structure27:11 - Positive role models
Exams can be a stressful time for our children, which makes them a stressful time for us mums and dads too! There's a lot of pressure, which can feel overwhelming, but it doesn't need to be like this.In this episode I help you to understand the difference between belief gaps, skills gaps and knowledge gaps, how to identify which one (or combination of) your child is struggling with, and share some tips on how you can help them manage this.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:47 - Expectation vs Reality02:23 - Identify the mismatch07:09 - Bridging the knowledge gap
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