How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Would you give your eight year old a smartphone?Should children be banned from social media?How much screen time is too much?As parents in a digital world, we ask ourselves these questions all the time, and there never seems to be a right answer. But in today's episode I am joined by Justine Roberts CBE, the founder of Mumsnet, to discuss these very issues.Justine shares her insights on the relationship between children and tech, what Mumsnet are doing it about it, and she makes a very exciting announcement - you heard it here first, and you do not want to miss this!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…More About Justine & Mumsnet:Mumsnet: https://www.mumsnet.com/ Rage Against the Screen: https://www.mumsnet.com/news/rage-against-the-screen The Other phone: https://www.mumsnet.com/articles/the-other-phone Highlights from this episode:02:07 - Mums don't get training06:07 - The taboo of weight loss drugs10:38 - Are parenting experts part of the problem?14:18 - Rage Against the Screen19:56 - AI's impact on the brain22:35 - The addictive algorithms of social media26:21 - The Other phone30:54 - More parents are taking their kids' phone away

Is your child friends with a bad influence?Are they being bullied or treated poorly by someone they think is a friend?Do they struggle to broaden their social circle?If you relate to any of the above, then this episode is a must listen, because I am going to explain the how, the why, and the what you can do about those unhealthy friendships your children find themselves in.It happens to everyone, even us parents! But knowing how to spot them and, importantly, knowing how to support your children to see it for themselves, is the real challenge. You might just learn a thing or two about your own relationships as well!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Friendships: The Whole Nine Yards: https://drmaryhan.com/episode/helping-children-with-friendships/ Highlights from this episode:01:24 - Toxic is toxic03:43 - The warning signs of an unhealthy friendship05:33 - Focus on the behavior, not the child09:31 - Listen without judgment13:43 - Red friend green friend19:30 - Encourage them to broaden their social network

Diagnoses of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, are rising sharply.But how do you know if you or your child might have it?And what can you do about it?It can be hard to find the right info about symptoms, causes, and treatment. So In this episode I'm going to talk through what OCD is, but also what it isn't, and what the common early signs are.Plus, I'll give you some super easy, practical things you can do right away to support your children in the best way possible.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Reports of OCD triple: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdr612zrl0no The life event scale: https://www.simplypsychology.org/srrs.html Highlights from this episode:01:33 - Are we taking OCD seriously enough?04:50 - Obsessions versus compulsions07:54 - Why has there been an increase?10:16 - Keep it in the family11:39 - Life events and external triggers14:51 - OCD early warning signs18:33 - OCD or anxiety?21:18 - How can we help our children?24:42 - Challenge the intrusive thoughts

Are you looking for fun and free or low cost family activities?Have you considered reading?Before you switch off, hear me out, because reading can be an incredibly relaxing and enjoyable activity, and I'm here to explain how you can encourage your children to want to read.However, there's been a huge decline in recent years of young people who enjoy reading, and it's on us - the mums, the dads, the parents, the guardians and the teachers - to do something about this.Reading a good book can be great for the soul, and help not just your kids, but also you, to empty your buckets. That's why this topic is so important to me.I will tell you the three main benefits of reading, and what you can do to make reading feel like less of a chore to your kids.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Get Britain Reading by The Times: https://www.thetimes.com/uk/get-britain-reading?msockid=2f94feb8d57068851bbdebd1d476690b Highlights from this episode:00:41 - Get Britain reading again04:55 - The numbers don't lie07:26 - The three benefits10:52 - Paper beats screen15:05 - Take the hard work out of reading19:14 - Model reading for pleasure

Are you getting in your child's way?Should you praise effort or results?And are you strict enough with enforcing your own rules?In today's episode, I'm expanding on a recent episode (linked below), where we explored how your children build their sense of self, to answer the above questions and more.I'm going to give you the five areas where I believe you can really help your children navigate their most critical stage of identity development. This usually happens around 7-8 years old, but every child is different, so no matter where you are in your parenting journey, this episode will definitely help you.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Becoming Me: How Your Children Develop Their Sense of IdentityHighlights from this episode:01:28 - Ages 7 to 8 are critical06:00 - The 8 stages of identity development09:03 - Do what you say you will13:28 - Are you getting in your child's way?19:17 - Manage your expectations22:27 - The benefits of praising effort28:35 - The world is NOT school31:57 - Episode cheat sheet

What went wrong?Have I failed my children?That's the question many parents ask themselves when contemplating home schooling. But in reality, the school system simply isn't the best choice for some children.In the second part of our discussion, we look closer at the process of choosing a home schooling option, what a good education really looks like, and when or why you might transition your kids back into a school environment.To have this discussion I am joined by two very special guests…Ruth Morgan is a mum to two children, one of whom is ASD. She shares her daughter's story with us, and it will really resonate with any of you experiencing similar difficulties.She is also an ⁠integrative psychotherapist who specialises in neurodivergent adults , especially late diagnosis and co-presenting mental health difficulties, and she also offers coaching to parents whose children are going through diagnosis or related challenges for the family. You can contact Ruth at https://ruthmorgan.co.uk/Kate Shand is the founder and CEO of Enjoy Education, which provides bespoke educational services tailored to the unique needs of families and students globally. She is also a founding member and vice president of The Tutors' Association, committed to raising tutoring standards across the industry and around the world. You can find out more at http://www.enjoyeducation.co.uk/ So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:24 - What does good schooling look like?08:49 - Neurodivergent burnout12:31 - The journey back to school18:50 - The growth option21:38 - Breaking social moulds23:55 - Give yourself the space to mess up28:57 - Every parent has their own story33:41 - Pushing over the cliff edge

Has your child ever refused to go to school?It's a morning routine all parents dread, but for nearly one in five parents, this is a common occurrence.. But what do you do?In the first of this special two part episode, I am going to explore the reasons why our kids might not want to go to school and the ways in which both parents and educators can identify and support this.Because as absenteeism continues to rise, maybe it's time to stop blaming our kids, and start considering that maybe school doesn't work for them.To have this discussion I am joined by two very special guests…Ruth Morgan is a mum to two children, one of whom is ASD. She shares her daughter's story with us, and it will really resonate with any of you experiencing similar difficulties.She is also an ⁠integrative psychotherapist who specialises in neurodivergent adults , especially late diagnosis and co-presenting mental health difficulties, and she also offers coaching to parents whose children are going through diagnosis or related challenges for the family. You can contact Ruth at https://ruthmorgan.co.uk/Kate Shand is the founder and CEO of Enjoy Education, which provides bespoke educational services tailored to the unique needs of families and students globally. She is also a founding member and vice president of The Tutors' Association, committed to raising tutoring standards across the industry and around the world. You can find out more at http://www.enjoyeducation.co.uk/ So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:20 - These stats might shock you05:32 - School refusal11:46 - How to manage school incapacity15:23 - Home schooling doesn't have to be plan z18:55 - Why are the stats going up?21:21 - Ruth's story29:00 - School support for neurodivergence32:06 - Schools get a different version of your child36:35 - A message to schools

Does your child refuse to go to bed?Is the nighttime routine a daily stress?And why won't your children sleep when they're tired?Today's episode is a listener question, and one I'm sure affects most parents, because it's all about how to make bedtime less of a battle and more of a breeze.I am going to talk through the reasons why the sleep showdown happens, give you three things you can do, and give you the ultimate bedtime checklist to work through. There's no perfect, instant solution because every child is different, but if you take the right approach with the right mindset, you're halfway towards a peaceful evening!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Mentioned in this episode:Parenting at Work: Can We Really Have it All? - https://drmaryhan.com/episode/parenting-at-work-can-we-really-have-it-all/ Highlights from this episode:02:47 - Audit your shoulds05:06 - Are we setting impossible standards?08:28 - Find a moment to empty some of your bucket12:21 - Download Mode15:12 - How to set boundaries17:37 - Where can your child have more autonomy?

Are you more emotionally mature than your children?Do you project your problems onto your kids?Does your child feel like a burden or a failure?These might be tough questions to think about but, according to a recent study, these are common things your teenagers might be thinking, but do not feel like they can tell you.And don't worry, you are not a bad parent, and this isn't a generational thing. It doesn't matter if you're a boomer or a millennial, sometimes we can get so busy doing the day-to-day parenting, that we forget to pay attention and listen - truly listen - to what our kids are trying to tell us.That's why I'm doing today's episode, which is all about helping you to understand what your teens really need from you, and giving you some practical advice which you can start using right away.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, take a deep breath, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:21 - What do you wish you could tell your parents?06:40 - 3 ways you're not showing up for your teens12:32 - Invest in self-awareness15:53 - Reflect in whatever way works for you18:01 - Start showing up21:18 - Honest conversations

When I say breathwork, what comes to mind?Many of you will think of yoga, meditation, or something a bit silly. I'm sure most of you don't think it can help your children, and I get it!But did you know that good breathwork can have real, physical benefits on our nervous system, our brain, and our body? In other words, it's not just some hippy dippy nonsense, and I'm going to explain why.This means when our kids are stressed, scared, overwhelmed or anxious, good breathing can be the difference maker in a situation that usually gets out of control very quickly.In this bucket emptying episode, I want to dispel any stigma you might have around breathwork. I'm going to tell you exactly how & why it helps, and give you some practical, actionable exercises you can start doing right now.Here's the Take 10 method to get you started: https://drmaryhan.com/episode/breathing-techniques-for-anxious-children/ So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, take a deep breath, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:35 - Fight, flight or freeze05:48 - The physical benefits of breathwork08:07 - Getting creative with breathwork12:40 - Biometrics are a great learning aid

“I want it all. I want it now” - timeless words sung by the late Freddie Mercury, and sampled by every child ever, including your own, am I right?But let's be honest, they're not the only ones. As parents, we put ourselves under so much pressure to keep up with the Joneses and have it all… but what does that even mean?A big house?Private school?Or maybe just financial security?In this episode, I am here to tell you one thing, and one thing only: you are not perfect, and that's okay! It's time to follow my seven tips and embrace the beautiful, incredible, imperfect you.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:00:37 - Having it all… but at what cost?06:21 - There's no such thing as work-life balance10:20 - Your inner conflict16:11 - All does not mean perfect18:01 - Asking for help is not a weakness21:28 - Be present for yourself27:11 - Be ruthless32:41 - You are imperfect, and that's ok34:22 - Who are you?

Let's be clear: tylenol does not cause autism.It does not cause ADHD.Neurodivergence is not contagious.And it is not a disease to be caught or cured.You've probably heard these claims being made by certain politicians and Presidents recently, but let me assure you: there is no credible scientific evidence to support this.As parents, we already feel so much shame and guilt about our kids' neurodivergence, be it ADHD, autism, or anything else.Why didn't I spot it sooner?Am I a terrible Mum?Have I failed my child?We've all been there, and the answer is no, no, NO! So in this episode I am sharing the best bits from my recent interview with journalist and author Jessie Hewitson. Her sons are both neurodivergent and, it turns out, so is she, which she discovered while writing her book on ADHD.We cover everything from Mum guilt, to the school system, and what you can do to create a more positive, supportive environment for your neurodiverse kids.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation, because we're about to take the RFK out of ADHD, and give you some home truths you don't want to miss…Listen to the full episode with Jessie here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/raising-happy-adhd-children-with-jessie-hewitson/id1571503566?i=1000723801183 Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:00:58 - ADHD Myth Versus Reality03:37 - The Broken School System06:50 - Mom Guilt10:10 - Guilt and Motherhood Go Hand in Hand11:06 - Let the Doctor Make the Call12:56 - How to Rebuild Self-Esteem in Neurodivergent Children15:28 - Epiphany at the Cinema18:12 - F You All20:11 - A Neurotypical World21:55 - Be the Shield from Society's Judgment22:24 - Do You Have ADHD?More from Jessie:Buy the book: https://a.co/d/eHGvsxf Read her article in The Times: https://www.thetimes.com/life-style/parenting/article/my-adhd-family-what-you-think-wrong-gq6s6hl3c?msockid=2f94feb8d57068851bbdebd1d476690b Visit NeuroUniverse: https://www.neurouniverse.co.ukConnect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessie-hewitson

Someone leaves you in a room with a tasty treat. You can eat it right away, but you've been promised two treats if you resist for 15 minutes. What do you do?This isn't a riddle, but a very important experiment called The Marshmallow Test, and I bring this up to show you that building self-control and willpower in our kids is an age-old challenge for parents like you and me.Which is why in this episode, I talk through some of the crucial factors that impact self-control and explain why taking the time to help your children develop this important skill, can set them up for success in adult life.Plus, I share some super practical tips which you can start using right now.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:00:22 - What the Tokyo World Athletics teaches parents02:55 - What is self-control?08:45 - The marshmallow test12:20 - Crucial factors16:54 - Be a role model for your kids22:35 - How to encourage self-control27:48 - We are the scaffolding

Is your child's self-confidence at rock bottom?Are you feeling a bit helpless, or lost at how to help?Firstly, remember we have all been there, I promise you! And secondly, this bucket emptying episode builds on our previous episodes about confidence, but this time I talk specifically about how to boost really low self-confidence in your kids and teens.I'm going to share three things that I guarantee you will find super helpful when managing your child's low self-confidence.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:01:10 - What is self-confidence?03:27 - Building a new, capable mindset05:16 - Learning to try07:48 - Shake it off

Confidence is something we all struggle with, sometimes on a daily basis.But for our kids, who are dealing with new experiences, new challenges, and constant change all the time, their confidence and self belief is being really tested. Childhood is not quite as easy as we like to remember.. we're all guilty of that!That's why I'm kicking off a trilogy of episodes, taking a long hard look at confidence in our children, and how we, as parents, can support them through the tough times and help them build their self-belief.Remember, our goal is to be the scaffolding for our kids, to help them grow into healthy, resilient and confident people, and I'm here to guide you through every step.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:02:01 - These stats might shock you05:00 - The difference between self belief and self confidence06:30 - You must model confidence for your kids10:58 - Effort > result14:04 - Set regular goals17:17 - Cultivate curiosity for new things20:35 - I don't like chores23:20 - How thoughts drive feelings26:52 - Our faith in them is unconditional

Do you find yourself getting louder and louder when your kids don't listen to you?Are you constantly fighting to get them to do what you ask?In the second of our two part bucket-emptying special, I am helping you manage your child's non-compliance: when they just say no or, more annoyingly, they ignore you completely!Last week we talked through some of the main reasons why your children do this, and if you haven't listened to that yet, spoiler alert: they're not naughty.On this episode, I give you six practical things you can do right now to manage those moments when you just want to pull your hair out.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:01:56 - Not all buckets are created equal06:18 - Keep it simple09:35 - Take a moment to reset12:03 - Use a quieter voice14:46 - Can you turn it into a game?16:07 - Praising progress

On today's episode, I am joined by Tish Feilden, formerly a teacher and psychotherapist, but today one of the founders of Jamie's Farm.Alongside her son, they have created a life-changing program that, in their words, leaves children ‘better equipped to thrive academically, socially and emotionally during their school years and beyond.'We have a great chat about the benefits of putting the screens down, getting your children outside, and giving your kids the autonomy and the agency they need to thrive as confident, independent people.You don't want to miss this!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…More from TishVisit Jamie's Farm: https://jamiesfarm.org.uk/ Tish on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tish-feilden-a8a7b14b/?originalSubdomain=uk Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:02:33 - A whole different ball game06:02 - Why go to school when I can Google it?11:19 - Give your kids a sense of purpose15:39 - Embrace change and milk a cow21:17 - Help26:31 - It's only a little electric shock29:28 - A week without phones33:02 - Every emotion is healthy37:20 - Your job as a parent is never complete

Do your children refuse to follow boundaries?Do you think you are never being listened to?In the first of a two part bucket emptying special, we are going to figure out the tricky issue of setting boundaries and getting our kids to actually respect them!But here's a spoiler: you should not feel guilty for setting healthy boundaries. As a parent, it's your job to be the rulemaker, and your kids won't always like or understand that. And in this episode I'm going to share 5 of the biggest reasons for non-compliance to help you understand why your child is saying no.Then, in the next bucket emptying episode, we can explore some of the things you can start doing right away to help you deal with this.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:00:48 - Don't feel guilty about setting boundaries03:04 - Our kids want some control over their own lives06:37 - Pushing boundaries is not just a phase; it's a cycle10:28 - Is your child capable of doing what you're asking them to do?15:40 - Catching them off guard

Your sense of self is so important, and a lot of it is wrapped up in who we think we are and how we compare ourselves to others.The same goes for your children, and supporting this will be one of your biggest challenges as parents.That's why, in this episode, I'm going to explain what identity is, I'll talk through the different developmental stages, and what you can do to help your kids navigate these particular stages in their life, as well as your own.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Come to the WebinarJoin me and the How Not To Screw Up Your Kids Community as I unpick how we can help our children build their sense of self, so they feel more confident day to day. Find out more and book your place here: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/next-60-minutes-with-dr-maryhan-1st-october-8pm- Highlights from this episode:04:19 - What is identity?08:24 - Conflict is at the core11:38 - Infancy conflicts14:20 - Autonomy and purpose18:54 - Primary school and self-confidence23:02 - Adolescence and identity26:35 - Intimacy versus isolation29:23 - Middle age stagnation34:10 - Old age despair

Do you compare yourself to other parents?Do you sometimes think you're not good enough?Here's a secret… you are good enough, and every parent out there has the same doubt. I say it's time to silence the inner critic!In this short bucket emptying episode, I give you four practical tips you can start doing today, to get rid of your inner critic and start being the happiest, most confident version of yourself. Because you cannot possibly look after your kids if you don't first look after yourself.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:49 - Every parent experiences at least one of these03:16 - “I'm a bad parent”04:46 - Give yourself some slack05:49 - What's your mantra?07:46 - Find your tribe09:50 - Go to sleep!

Everything you know about ADHD is probably wrong.That's the title of an influential article written by today's guest, journalist and author Jessie Hewitson. Her sons are both neurodivergent and, it turns out, so is she, which she discovered while writing her book on ADHD.Jessie joins me to talk about the challenges she faced before her son's diagnosis, the guilt she feels as a parent for not acting quicker or better during that time, and why the education system is built for a neurotypical world… and the problems you might face if you are also parenting a neurodiverse child.This is a fascinating conversation that will reframe everything you think you know about neurodivergence, autism and adhd.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:51 - The social shaming around ADHD11:01 - ADHD myth versus reality14:54 - ASD or ADHD?20:33 - Rebuilding self-esteem in ADHD children27:23 - F you all31:31 - A neurotypical world35:57 - Barriers in the system40:04 - Do I have ADHD?More from Jessie:Buy the book: https://a.co/d/eHGvsxf Read her article in The Times: https://www.thetimes.com/life-style/parenting/article/my-adhd-family-what-you-think-wrong-gq6s6hl3c?msockid=2f94feb8d57068851bbdebd1d476690b Visit NeuroUniverse: https://www.neurouniverse.co.ukConnect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessie-hewitson

The first day at a new school can be a scary experience for many children, as well as us parents! But what do you do if your kid is super nervous?We often feel like the bad guy making them go in when they clearly don't want to, even when we know it's the best thing for them, so in this week's bucket emptying episode, I give you my ten top tips for managing those first day jitters.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:21 - It's normal to feel nervous05:33 - Active listening09:28 - Pulling back bedtime13:28 - Role play problem solving14:55 - Prep ourselves18:03 - Protect their energy21:35 - A happy child is more likely to learn24:51 - Pulling everything together

Is your child about to start school for the first time?Are they about to return from their Summer holidays?How do you know if they're ready?Studies suggest that a majority of parents believe their children are ready for school, but many teachers believe a large portion of kids are not ready for school when they start. So who's right?In this episode, I explore some of the red flags that might suggest your child is not fully prepared for the challenges of starting school, and offers some practical advice on what you can do to help.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:59 - A common myth05:53 - What does school ready mean?08:53 - Figure out your starting point10:58 - 6 honest questions to ask yourself17:07 - The art of negotiation18:55 - Managing conflict and separation anxiety23:43 - Closing the skills gap

As parents, it's our job to make the rules and enforce them. And it's our children's job to challenge those boundaries and push us to our limits.That's why, when we try getting them to do something they simply don't want to do, we often hear “you don't trust me!”Even though it's normal and age appropriate, I get it - it's so frustrating. How do you parent this? How do you respond to this apparent lose-lose scenario?In this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to give you five different responses you can use when your kids say this.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:41 - We're all learning05:00 - Our role is to keep you safe07:07 - Laying down the law10:00 - Reinforcing family values11:33 - A hard no

Are your children smart? Spoiler alert: it doesn't matter.I don't believe that academic intelligence means your child will be successful in life, because real life is about so much more than grades.In this episode I am going to reveal what I think are the five essential life skills your kids need to be successful. I'll tell you what they are, and give you practical ways you can develop this skill in your child.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:03:56 - The 5 Skills05:40 - Planning17:07 - Social curiosity25:19 - Self-regulation32:38 - Focus42:18 - Adaptability

Do your children shut down when you ask them questions?Are they often frustrated that you don't understand them?Do they think you don't listen, or worse, don't care?Active listening doesn't come naturally to us. It's a learned skill, and it helps us show our kids that we're not just hearing them, but we understand them, and when their guard comes down you will be AMAZED at the results.In this episode I am going to show you what active listening is and how you can start doing it today to create more meaningful conversations with your children of any age.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:20 - A conversation of sounds07:40 - When our children are more articulate11:50 - Examples of active listening14:12 - It doesn't need to work every time

Do your children constantly fight and argue?There are many reasons why brothers and sisters butt heads, and it's totally normal, but often we're too busy doing damage control that we don't take a step back to think about what we can do differently.In this episode, I'm going to give you five hacks which you can start using immediately to help your warring children get along (mostly).So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:04 - Create opportunities for whole family time04:19 - Special time for each child12:08 - I want to be a cat18:58 - Create own time space20:59 - Establish a family pact25:24 - Use schedules and rotas for high conflict situations28:59 - The power of praise

What do you do with defiant children who won't get involved in group activities?I recently had this question from a listener, and I'm sure they're not the only parent dealing with this! So in this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to give you some practical tips and easy things you can do right away, so that you and your children are happier!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:23 - The behaviour is not the issue04:49 - Unmet needs07:38 - Skills gaps11:17 - Reframing

Whether you're expecting your first child or your tenth, parenting never gets easier.At every age, with every new addition, we as new parents have to learn to expect the unexpected, and if you learn that when you're expecting, the unexpected might not end up being so… unexpected. You see?In this episode, I'm going to help you prepare for your parenting journey, because even though there's no magic wand, as a mum of two and a child psychologist, I've picked up a few life lessons that I'd like to share with you.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:44 - Expect the unexpected04:56 - What of parent do you want to be?09:26 - What kind of child do you want to raise?14:55 - Connection is critical20:26 - Parenting is the hardest thing you will ever do22:46 - Don't lose the old you25:14 - Nurture your tribe28:47 - Learn to take care of yourself

If you're a parent, you might dread the thought of a long car ride. Managing your kids' hunger, boredom, and frustration is like being in parenting hell until you reach your destination.Well, you're not alone.So in this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to share some quick tips and simple hacks to help you manage those long journeys without having a meltdown!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:28 - Support the podcast02:24 - Get everyone involved in planning04:47 - Get your children to pack their own bags10:11 - Plan A, B, C, and D12:46 - The element of surprise15:28 - Reflect back and learn for next time

Do you feel overwhelmed by the pressure to provide constant experiences?Have kids who are "always bored" or glued to devices?Or struggle with guilt about not doing "enough" activities?Then this episode is for you. I challenge the modern parenting myth that we need to pack our children's lives with endless activities and experiences. Instead, I reveal why unstructured play is actually your child's most powerful learning tool.I break down exactly how play develops emotional intelligence, social skills, problem-solving abilities, and academic success - often better than formal lessons. I also share game-changing strategies for different age groups, from toddlers to teenagers.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:28 - Play to recharge04:45 - Play to work through and resolve issues08:16 - Play to teach social skills14:12 - Play is a safe space to fail17:24 - Reframe the purpose of play23:11 - Allocate time to play27:24 - Never too old to play

What do you do when your child says "Everyone hates me," "I'm rubbish at everything," or "I'm a loser"?In this bucket-emptying episode, I share exactly how to respond in the moment when your child is being self-critical.I'll walk you through my 5-step approach to handle these heartbreaking moments without dismissing their feelings or being overly positive. You'll learn why that internal dialogue matters so much, how to validate their experience while offering a more realistic perspective, and my powerful "pause and reframe" technique that helps children catch themselves before negative self-talk becomes hardwired.This is about what to do RIGHT NOW when these comments happen - not the long-term strategies (that's coming in a full Thursday episode). Whether your child occasionally has these moments or this has become a pattern, these techniques will help you respond in a way that actually helps rather than accidentally making things worse.Remember: self-criticism reflects their internal monologue, and with the right approach, we can help them develop a healthier inner voice. Their brains are incredibly plastic - we have time to turn this around.Key topics covered:Understanding your child's internal dialogue and self-talkThe 5-step response framework for self-critical momentsWhy validation comes before correctionTeaching the "pause and reframe" techniqueHow to model healthy self-talk as a parentThis episode is perfect for parents dealing with children who struggle with self-esteem, negative self-talk, or perfectionism.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:35 - What is self talk?03:50 - Validate your child's feelings05:55 - Offer a realistic alternative08:30 - Pause and reframe11:56 - Rome wasn't built in a day

Struggling with your child's impulsive behavior?In this episode, I share 6 game-changing strategies to help children break free from autopilot reactions and develop better impulse control. Whether your child has ADHD, anxiety, or gets emotionally dysregulated, these techniques will help them pause, think, and respond more thoughtfully.I'll walk you through my traffic light zone system to identify when your child needs support most, plus teach you practical tools like the STOP method, 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, and my favorite snap card game that makes learning impulse control fun.These strategies work for neurotypical kids too - and they're just as valuable for us parents when we find ourselves reacting on autopilot. Remember: the brain is a muscle, and with practice, we can all get stronger at managing our impulses.Key topics covered:Understanding impulsivity vs impulsesThe red, amber, green zone system6 practical strategies you can start using todayWhy starting with low-stakes situations is crucialHow to model impulse control for your childrenIf you're a parent of children with ADHD, anxiety, or any child who struggles with big emotions and reactive behaviors, then this episode will be especially relevant.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:02 - The 4 traits of impulsivity04:09 - Red amber and green zones09:04 - The brain is a muscle11:29 - Start with low stakes and easy wins13:09 - 3 things you can do right now19:56 - 5, 4, 3, 2, 122:55 - STOP27:26 - Children do what they see

Every parent has been there – your child has a complete meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, and you feel all eyes on you. In this essential Bucket Emptying episode, I share 5 game-changing strategies for handling public tantrums without the shame spiral.Discover how to transform these challenging moments from overwhelming experiences into opportunities for connection and growth. I break down the psychology behind emotional dysregulation and provide practical techniques you can use right away.What You'll Learn:Why ignoring public judgment is crucial for your child's developmentHow to prioritize safety while maintaining your child's dignityPreparation strategies that prevent tantrums before they startThe power of involving children in daily tasks and planningReflection techniques to break the cycle of public meltdownsWhether you're dealing with toddler tantrums, preschooler meltdowns, or even teenage emotional outbursts, this episode offers compassionate, practical guidance that works. And remember, tantrums are simply a window into our child's inner world. With the right tools, we can help them navigate big feelings with confidence.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:26 - Tantrums are a lens into their world03:59 - Calm, quiet reassurance06:40 - Prepare for the worst, hope for the best09:29 - Our children WANT to help10:31 - Reflect and learn

I'm sharing something that honestly terrifies me as a parent - how our devices are literally rewiring our children's brains from as early as 4 months old.Today I'm joined by Dr. Charlotte Armitage, author of Generation Zombie, and what she reveals about screen time and brain development will change how you think about tech in your home..What we dive into:Why I discovered that babies as young as 4 months are now interacting with screens (and what this does to their developing brains)How I learned that 20% of children starting school need speech therapy - and the connection to our device useWhy dopamine addiction from screens is creating behaviors that look exactly like ADHDThe shocking truth about how prams now come with iPad holders for babiesWhat happened when I realized I was modeling constant device use without knowing itWhy AI chatbots are the next level of concern for our kids' social development.This episode is essential if you're dealing with:A child who can't focus or sit still at schoolConstant battles over screen time limitsWorries about your own device modelingQuestions about when (or if) to give your child a smartphoneConcerns about your child's social skills and friendships.I'll be honest - some of what Charlotte shares made me want to throw all our devices out the window! But she also gives us hope with practical strategies we can implement right now. We talk about creating device-free zones, the importance of eye contact during feeding, and why our children don't need to "learn" technology young.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation….More from Charlotte:Generation Zombie Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/generation-zombie-raising-healthy-humans-in-a-world/id1814827224 Get the Book NOW - https://amzn.eu/d/eSVeQ9a Follow on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@drcharlottearmitage Website - https://charlottearmitage.co.uk/ Highlights from this episode:03:57 - New tech means new challenges08:20 - RIP IRL14:10 - Attachment issues from tech use19:44 - A boom in speech and language therapy24:38 - ADHD and technology32:15 - What is Generation Zombie?36:41 - Impact into teen years42:28 - The risks of AI.

Have you ever played Jenga?Sure, it's a fun family game, but when you think about it - working together to build a structure taller and taller and, when it eventually topples, rebuilding without hesitation and starting again - Jenga is the perfect analogy for a family.Which is why in today's bucket emptying episode, I'm going to show you how Jenga can be used to build a strong, meaningful connection with your family… and become a stronger, happier, and more resilient family for it.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:45 - Nothing is more challenging than a disconnected family02:02 - Why Jenga?05:52 - What qualities do you bring to your family?09:25 - Family gratitude

Strong-willed, stubborn, defiant, opinionated, headstrong - that's how I like to think of myself for recording a podcast during a heatwave! But it could also be some of the words you use to describe your child. If so, this episode is for you.I know what it's like when your child is naturally headstrong. They can be a force of nature, and some days parenting them feels impossible... especially if they inherited these character traits from you! In this 30-minute episode, I'm sharing my 7 go-to strategies to help you overcome those daily challenges we all face.What I'll share with you:How I've learned to reframe those impossible situationsMy favorite ways to empower kids through meaningful choicesWhy I discovered that strong-willed children learn differently (and how to work with their nature)Communication techniques that actually work in my homeHow we established family values that stickWhy I believe being quick to apologize changes everythingThis episode is perfect if you're dealing with:Daily power struggles and defiant behaviorA child who seems impossible to parent some daysThe challenge of parenting a mini-me who inherited your headstrong traitsFeeling like you're parenting in a "war zone"Whether you're in the thick of it right now or just need some fresh strategies for your force-of-nature child, I'm here to offer hope and practical solutions that have worked for me and countless other parents.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:00 - Podcasting in a heatwave00:56 - Parenting in a war zone05:48 - Common traits of headstrong children08:36 - How to reframe a situation13:45 - How to empower by giving our kids choices17:12 - Strong-willed children learn from experience18:54 - Communicate regularly21:19 - Family values23:30 - Be quick to apologise

Do you suffer from parental guilt?Do you often guilt yourself into doing things you know you shouldn't do?Does this guilt manifest in material stuff like toys and treats?You don't need to feel embarrassed, we've all been there. It's so easy to feel that guilt, and then we do whatever it takes to make that guilt disappear.If you think your parental guilt is getting better of you, I'm here to help.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:31 - The dictionary defines guilt as…03:22 - You can flex the rules04:34 - How we can check ourselves07:03 - Ask yourself these two questions09:51 - Shifting from guilt to reason

Today's episode is a massive treat, as I am joined by Sophie David, a play guru, influencer and now author of Read, Write, Play: 100 Easy Ways to Make Phonics Fun for Children Aged 3-7.In this conversation, Sophie explains how she implements all of the information and resources on her website, to create a fun learning environment for her kids, from phonics and reading to homework, screen time, and more!As Mary Poppins once sang:In every job that must be doneThere is an element of funYou find the fun and snap!The job's a gameThe same applies to our kids' education, and it begins at home, with us. Learning is as fun as we choose to make it, and our job as parents is to unlock the curiosity in our children and help them want to learn.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Additional Resources:Little Happy Learners: https://www.littlehappylearners.co.uk/ Sophie's book, available now: https://geni.us/readwriteplay Connect with Sophie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/littlehappylearners/ Highlights from this episode:03:10 - Sophie's journey09:00 - You are your baby's best friend15:16 - Monkey see monkey do20:26 - There is no normal26:28- Phonics is not just about ABC32:38 - Managing screen time37:48 - Learning is experiential41:50 - Mum, businesswoman, funlover, and author45:27 - Where do we start?

Leaving your child with someone else is one of the hardest things a parent will do.What if they need me and I'm not there?Am I just being a bad parent?What if they don't like the babysitter?These are all rational concerns, but they shouldn't stop you because, as we've discussed before, you cannot look after your children if you don't look after yourselves.That's why in this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to share four rational fears you might have when you leave your kids in someone else's care, and what you can do to overcome them.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, take the next 46 minutes to relax, and enjoy the conversation…Read Dr. Maryhan's article in Bubble Life, as mentioned in this episode, Navigating Separation Anxiety: https://joinbubble.com/for-parents/navigating-separation-anxiety-expert-tips-from-dr-maryhan_29690.html Highlights from this episode:01:09 - Common myths are getting in your way!02:43 - Are you being selfish?05:23 - What if something goes wrong?07:58 - What if they feel abandoned?11:4 - What if my child doesn't get on with this?

Is your brain always on?You're brushing your teeth, but also mentally planning meals, remembering the pickup times and wondering if you've RSVP'd to the latest birthday party?Parenting is tough, and the burnout is real. I'm here to tell you not to be ashamed about that, but to talk about it, because every parent out there is feeling it!To talk more about this invisible load, and the impact it can have on your life, work, mental and physical health,,I'm joined by Rania Robinson, the CEO of Quiet Storm, a mum of two children and she also happens to be my sister, so trust me when I tell you she knows a thing or two about juggling that invisible load!We had an amazing chat about the ups and downs of balancing parenthood with a career, and why it can feel like being a mum and an employee simply doesn't co-exist.We also discuss how gender roles can pile more pressure on you as a mum because, let's face it, you're probably the one who keeps track of everything… and everyone!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa, take the next 46 minutes to relax, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:54 - Taking control of your own destiny07:38 - A thankless role12:26 - Heartbreaking22:05 - Gender differences and family dynamics28:16 - Resentment building32:29 - Navigating mumspeak37:08 - Mad mum moments

It's a moment most parents dread, but it's inevitable for all of us… when your child tells you, for the first time, that have a boyfriend or girlfriend.And for many of us, this might be much sooner than we'd expect. Not teenagers, but while they're still in primary school.When this happens, it's so important to deal with it head on, and I'm here to tell you exactly how to do this. And, if you find this bucket emptying episode useful, listen out for an episode coming very soon where I dive into the topic of sex education and relationships in far more detail.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:05 - Going down the rabbit hole03:06 - Be curious and interested06:07 - Where are they getting their information?08:38 - Correct the knowledge gaps

This week I am revisiting a classic episode from last year about what to do when expecting your child - however we find ourselves embarking on the journey to parenting.It's also supremely relevant for all the other stages of our children's lives as they reach them -as these are another birth - walking, talking, preschool, school, university, first job, leaving home...My six pointers will help keep you grounded and sane.Here are the highlights: (01:14) Parents-to-Be consume information by the barrel load (05:13) Read about different milestones, not just birth (08:02) Parenting isn't black and white (11:12) It's always messier than you expect! (14:16) Don't fall into this parenting trap... (16:46) The right time to have difficult conversations with partners (20:36) Make sure communication with co-parents is open and often (23:17) Different do what they see, not what we say (26:32) Self-care is critical (30:22) Every child develops and adapts uniquely

Do you have entitled kids?Are you at a loss about what to do with them?In this bucket emptying episode, I give you some practical advice to help you tackle entitlement in your children, because we both know all kids are kind at heart, so let's bring that out in bundles!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:30 - Our kids have more than we did03:41 - Agency versus contribution08:21 - Acts of service10:36 - An important caveat

As the great Ru Paul would say, “if you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?”As parents, we instinctively put our children and family before ourselves, but that's not always the best thing! In this episode I discuss the importance of self care, and why neglecting your own needs could be bad… not just for you, but for everyone.And joining me to discuss this is a super special guest, Tina Lond-Caulk, otherwise known as the Nutrition Guru. She is a bestselling author and speaker with over 20 years of experience as a clinical nutritionist.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Tina:The Nutrition Guru Website: https://www.thenutritionguru.co.uk/ Tina on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenutritionguru/Tina on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTTPdaxsREbzkRKtl29OnXgThe Nutrition Guru on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thenutritionguruMentioned in this episode:Sensate: https://www.getsensate.com/?variant=40503515250777Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/Highlights from this episode:01:24 - Mamma Mia!05:01 -The building blocks of self care09:44 - Food is medicine14:23 - Optimal versus recommended19:00 - For the coffee lovers23:56 - Placing ourselves at the bottom of the list29:30 - Habit stacking36:46 - Gina Ford, Get in the Bin!41:06 - Dealing with fussy eaters44:45 - Go nuts50:05 - The science of alcohol

Confession time: I have put my kids' artwork in the bin.Let's face it, we can't keep everything they do, and not everything they do will be successful or, in your opinion, praise-worthy.But praise isn't just about the outcome; it's not about winning or losing. Praise, when used at the right time and in the right way, can be super powerful at building confident, resilient children.In this bucket emptying episode, I'm going to share five ways that you can give praise that will nurture skills, build character, and help you raise children who don't fear failure and feel supported to try anything.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:29 - Hacks02:43 - A whole splodge of nothing05:36 - Be specific06:49 - Effort over outcome11:01 - Celebrate the small wins13:26 - Hone in on skills

What do you do when you're out in public and your child absolutely loses it?Dealing with tantrums can be a daily occurrence as parents, but have you ever been at the end of tether and lost your cool?You're not the worst parent - we've all been there! And that's why, in this episode, I'm going to help you deal with the meltdowns and the tantrums.You're going to understand what can cause them, how you can prevent them, and what to do in the moment so that you can handle the situation like the pro you are.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:38 - Tantrums are not just for toddlers03:26 - Why do tantrums happen?11:15 - How to prevent tantrums16:17 - Being aware of the triggers19:39 - Positive attention27:03 - Managing tantrums in the moment

Does your child the one who always runs to the front of a crowd, or insists on being the first in the bath, or can't wait their turn during a game?Don't worry, because you're not alone! Insisting on being first is a common challenge faced by parents, so in this bucket emptying episode I am going to explain the reasons why this happens, and give you some practical things you can do to address it.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:03 - The biggest reasons for it05:20 - Seeing siblings as more capable06:56 - What can you do about it?12:47 - It's about they feel about themselves15:53 - Descriptive praise and why it works

As parents, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. To be patient. To never lose our temper. But spoiler alert: we're still human.In this episode I'm here to help you in those moments where things are about to bubble over, and then you lose your cool. Because when you do that, you feel awful: it's not who you are. I get it!I am going to share six things that you can do to help, so you no longer yell, you no longer cry, and you no longer have to Google for answers.Remember: behind every super parent is a normal parent!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:38 - I'm a terrible parent!05:18 - How does it get to this?07:36 - The stress bucket14:53 - Self care is not a luxury16:02 - Managing expectations23:32 - Do-overs26:40 - Finding alternative solutions29:40 - Be kind

Are you a problem solver?You're a parent, so of course you are! But not all problems need us to swoop in and save the day. As hard as it might be, our children sometimes need the opportunity to problem-solve, make mistakes and build those core skills that make them confident, resilient people.In today's bucket emptying episode, I'm going to give you a life-changing strategy to help you identify those moments.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:35 - The ability to problem solve04:07 - When to intervene as parents07:35 - Accepting agency10:57 - What is a child problem?15:56 - Multilayered examples

What should I look for in a school?Are grammar schools really better than comprehensive?How important are Ofsted reports?In this episode, as another year of school applications approaches, I'm going to guide you through the complicated and confusing world of choosing a school for your kids, with the help of my super special guest Melanie Sanderson, Managing Editor at The Good Schools Guide.The Good Schools Guide has been the number one independent resource on UK schools since 1986, providing parents with unbiased information to help them research and pick the right education for their children.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Find Out More:The Good Schools Guide: https://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/Mel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melanie-sanderson-520305190/Highlights from this episode:02:20 - What is the Good Schools Guide?07:12 - Sharp-elbowed parents (and why you should avoid them)11:05 - Grammar schools16:24 - The number one piece of advice for parents…19:25 - Do Ofsted reports matter?23:45 - SATs25:28 - Preparing our 4 year olds for school31:31 - How to look for a school