The How Not To Screw Up Your Kids podcast is for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them. The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child†couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting. We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not! This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories. So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation.
Are you a problem solver?You're a parent, so of course you are! But not all problems need us to swoop in and save the day. As hard as it might be, our children sometimes need the opportunity to problem-solve, make mistakes and build those core skills that make them confident, resilient people.In today's bucket emptying episode, I'm going to give you a life-changing strategy to help you identify those moments.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:35 - The ability to problem solve04:07 - When to intervene as parents07:35 - Accepting agency10:57 - What is a child problem?15:56 - Multilayered examples
What should I look for in a school?Are grammar schools really better than comprehensive?How important are Ofsted reports?In this episode, as another year of school applications approaches, I'm going to guide you through the complicated and confusing world of choosing a school for your kids, with the help of my super special guest Melanie Sanderson, Managing Editor at The Good Schools Guide.The Good Schools Guide has been the number one independent resource on UK schools since 1986, providing parents with unbiased information to help them research and pick the right education for their children.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Find Out More:The Good Schools Guide: https://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/Mel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melanie-sanderson-520305190/Highlights from this episode:02:20 - What is the Good Schools Guide?07:12 - Sharp-elbowed parents (and why you should avoid them)11:05 - Grammar schools16:24 - The number one piece of advice for parents…19:25 - Do Ofsted reports matter?23:45 - SATs25:28 - Preparing our 4 year olds for school31:31 - How to look for a school
Do your children never pay attention to you?Are you at your wit's end?Don't worry, every parent struggles to get their kids to pay attention, and in this bucket emptying episode I'm going to share three things you can do that might help.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:04 - The reasons for their inattention03:27 - Outside distractions07:12 - Focus on the power of one12:19 - Setting boundaries
Do you like to fix your child's problems?Are you trying to be their best friend?Sorry to break this to you, but these are some of the reasons why your kids may not be building the resilience you hoped. And I get it - we all want to help our children, and we hate seeing them struggle, but building identity and resilience is about learning how to fail and how to problem solve.In this episode, I talk you through SPRING, or the fundamental building blocks of resilience, and reveal the eight ways we as parents can be impacting our children's resilience.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:59 - Mental health stats04:16 - A complex cause and effect07:36 - Stress is designed to help you10:41 - Self-regulation12:20 - You've got to be in it to win it13:43 - Relationships14:34 - Identity16:52 - Saying NO17:35 - Setting goals19:38 - We're not working with the end in mind21:13 - Modelling resilience23:32 - We want to take the pain away26:57 - Supporting failure, not preventing it29:21 - We are not our child's best friend32:29 - Stop obsessing over the right decision!35:36 - Being a parent of one of many roles we have
What does being the best really mean?What does ‘fitting in' look like?Parents and children living with physical disabilities live with a unique set of challenges. They often find themselves judged or ridiculed, and this can have a big impact on our kids.On this week's bucket emptying, I welcome back Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is her first children's book.We discuss how to empower our kids with self-confidence and resilience in relation to living with a disability, so they grow up seeing it not as a weakness, but as their superpower.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Cathy:Website: https://www.cathyreay.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathyreaywrites/ X: https://x.com/cathyreaywrites?lang=en How To Be Disabled And Proud: How To Be Disabled and Proud: (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...): Amazon.co.uk: Reay, Cathy: 9780241676967: Books Highlights from this episode:00:48 - The desire to just fit in04:28 - The power of community and connection06:32 - What does the ‘best' even mean?
WARNING: this podcast is not for parents.I spend a lot of my time visiting schools and speaking to classes full of children of all ages, so for once I'm dedicating a podcast episode to you, the kids.This episode is all about giving you the skills and the understanding you need to manage those days when things feel overwhelming. Maybe your mental health is taking a hit, and maybe you have moments when the pressure gets too much.Well here's the secret: it's ok! And here are some things you can do to manage that.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:45 - It's about what matters to YOU02:46 - The seesaw05:29 - Your brain has one job08:40 - Two parallel lines11:29 - Inner critic versus inner cheerleader15:16 - The 1% rule19:58 - Your stress bucket23:58 - Doom scrolling
Do your children share a room?Do they argue?Are you at your wits end?Sibling rivalries, particularly when it comes to shared bedrooms, can be fierce, but sometimes we just don't have a choice.But there's good news…There is a way to make it work. From pairing the right children (and it might not be what you think) to creating private space and time for each child, I am going to share some top tips and expert advice that will help you make sharing bedrooms feel less like a daily battle!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:26 - Developmental matching02:28 - Managing expectations05:08 - Actionable day to day tips08:56 - Allowing private time for each child11:58 - The roommate agreement13:32 - Sleep
Did you know the UK has the worst statutory paternity leave in Europe?Are you aware of the significant long term implications of reduced parental leave?And did you know that countries with better statutory paternity leave also have a smaller gender pay gap?In this episode, I am joined by Alex Lloyd Hunter, co-founder of The Dad Shift, to discuss everything from why he's putting paternity leave on the agenda to breaking down traditional 1950s family stereotypes.This is one of my favourite conversations that will really get you thinking a bit differently about parental leave.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Learn more about Alex and The Dad Shift:Website: https://dadshift.org.uk/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dadshiftukHighlights from this episode:02:09 - What does the law currently mean?04:30 - The benefits of supporting fathers09:58 - The way we parent is changing12:42 - More companies are acting15:44 - The traditional male role has changed20:36 - Celebrity Dad quotes23:27 - Challenging male stereotypes26:21 - Losing the paternal bond31:35 - Upcoming campaigns34:42 - What does good change look like?
How often do you sit down and eat together as a family?If you're a little embarrassed about the answer, then I have some news for you… you're not alone. Most families do not regularly make time to eat together, and I get it! School, work, hobbies, errands - life gets in the way.But eating together can have real benefits, not just on your kids but on your whole family, and in this episode I explore some of those reasons, and encourage you to think about how you can find time to enjoy meals together more often.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:19 - This stat might surprise you…03:14 - Show your children who their tribe is05:34 - The benefits of family mealtime08:02 - Finding their voice to express themselves
Is your child refusing to go to school?Do they seem frequently distressed?Is the school run the worst part of your day?School refusal is a growing problem, with more and more children missing more school than ever. But here's a big spoiler: it's not your fault.There are so many reasons why our kids don't want to go to school, and on today's episode I am going to unpack what those reasons are, and provide you with some actionable tips to help you manage this in an appropriate and constructive way.To discuss this, I am joined by Dr Daniel Weisberg, a highly-specialised clinical psychologist and the managing director of CAYP Psychology, an award-winning independent clinical psychology service for Children, Adolescents, and Young People.Daniel worked for NHS services for over ten years. He has substantial experience of working with children, adolescents and young people experiencing health, social, emotional and psychological difficulties.He shares some of his valuable insights to help us better understand the whys and hows of school refusal.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Daniel and CAYP:Website: https://www.cayp-psychology.com/ADHD Resource: https://www.cayp-psychology.com/wp-content/uploads/1.-ADHD-Assessments.pdfHighlights from this episode:01:42 - Understanding childrens' brains06:02 - Prevention is better than cause07:51 - The root causes of school refusal13:59 - There's no magic potion19:00 - Masking22:28 - Managing avoidance without causing distress25:30 - Expectation anxiety versus reality28:33 - Children don't come with an instruction manual32:45 - Overthinking35:48 - Understanding perspective39:08 - Is the system failing us?
“Disability is not an us and them conversation, and it's not a pity conversation. It's about teaching kids compassion and an openness to collaboration”These are the words of today's guest Cathy Reay, a disabled writer and journalist, and mum of two (plus a very cheeky cat!). She also works in educational publishing. How To Be Disabled and Proud (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...) is her first children's book, and on this week's bucket emptying episode we are discussing how to have conversations with children about disability.Spoiler alert: we're all accommodating disability every day, we just don't realise it, so this may not be as challenging as you think!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Connect with Cathy:Website: https://www.cathyreay.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathyreaywrites/ X: https://x.com/cathyreaywrites?lang=en How To Be Disabled And Proud: How To Be Disabled and Proud: (or at least kinda sorta okay with it...): Amazon.co.uk: Reay, Cathy: 9780241676967: Books Highlights from this episode:00:53 -The vast spectrum of disability04:04 - Disabled people have different skills, not lesser ones06:03 - We're not there to make you feel better10:28 - It's not a big deal… do don't make it oneAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.”This quote from prolific American businessman Henry Ford is one I use often, because usually our fears - of failure, of self-worth, or of anything else - usually stem from within.The power of positive thinking, right? A positive attitude with confidence and resilience can manifest better outcomes, so in this episode I am going to tackle this with you.This episode is based on the international bestselling book Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I'm going to tackle Susan's five truths about fear, and provide some real world examples and actionable steps you can take to manage your kids' fears (and maybe your own, too!).So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:15 - As Henry Ford would say…02:37 - Fear never goes away06:12 - Everyone feels fear07:38 - Change creates fear11:06 - Action is the only way to get rid of fear13:20 - Doing comes firstAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
Does your child never seem to listen to you?Do punishments never work?Are you running out of ideas?Well, here's some tough love: your consequences aren't working, and it's probably your fault. Of course we should make sure misdemeanors are met with consequence, but if your child doesn't seem to listen, then the consequences clearly are not effective or appropriate.In this bucket emptying episode, I talk you through three things you can consider, so that consequences are not just punishments, but lead to a meaningful change in behaviour.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:27 - Consequences should be connected to the crime03:12 - What is driving the behaviour?06:23 - Consequences should be instructive, not punitiveAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
From the education system, to conflicting expectations, to technology and social media… Netflix's hit TV show Adolescence has raised many issues about how young men and boys are being raised and the challenges they face.By ignoring some of these underlying problems, we are letting down our children.Our kids deserve to grow up in a world where they feel safe.This starts with making sure we - as parents, as teachers, as role models, and as a society - are raising our boys with the skills and the emotional intelligence to thrive in the real world.To help you with this, I am going to respond to some of the key questions and themes raised by Stephen Graham's series, and give you some actionable advice that you can start putting into practice right away.This episode is not an easy one, so find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and get ready for the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:19 - Misogyny and Incel04:51 - The issues facing young men in today's world06:46 - Start having conversations08:51 - Educate yourself12:12 - What steps can you take as a family?14:24 - Teaching empathy and acceptance17:44 - Identity creates agency20:10 - Role modelsAdditional resources:The Lost Boys Report from the Centre for Social Justice: https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys
If you haven't yet seen Adolescence on Netflix, what have you been doing?!Jokes aside, this TV show has been a triggering one for many of us, but especially those parents of boys. It has brought to light many issues around the manosphere, masculinity, and a generation of children who, without a safe space to have open and honest conversations with grownups, can be easily influenced by harmful content elsewhere.That's why this week's bucket emptying episode is all about how to have those difficult conversations with your kids. As the grown up in the room, it is your job to take the reigns with this, and I'm going to help you!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:56 - We're not looking for just one deep conversation02:56 - Seize natural opportunities05:07 - Instigate the conversation if needed08:33 - Don't confuse silence for an opportunity to keep talking10:10 - Leave them wanting
New research from the World Health Organisation (WHO) ranks children in England and Wales near bottom for physical activity.This reflects a world where children are becoming less active… in fact, between the ages of 7 and 16, our kids will spend on average half a year - that's six whole months - playing video games. But here's the thing…Our children are not lazy, and we're not heading for some Wall-E world where we all whizz around on floating chairs! They could just be bored.I believe we can make positive changes to get our children, and ourselves, living a healthier and more active lifestyle, so in this episode I share my top tips to help you get moving!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:39 - Stat attack!04:39 - What's the default at home?10:02 - Start from where you are, not from where you think you should be13:23 - Explore natural curiosities in other activities17:57 - Creating family activity time
Does your child always leave their room in a mess?Do they leave tasks to the last minute?Are they always on their phone, or wanting to be?As parents we tend to think of things like this as an issue, but in this episode I'm going to help you pivot, because these are not flaws. They're just skill gaps.When we can reframe these traits of our kids, then we can start to identify how they might need help and support, to gain new skills and overcome some of these day to day challenges.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:50 - We've all been there03:07 - Reframing makes a big difference07:50 - Neurodivergence
I am SO MAD!Or I was when I first listened to a guest discuss their parenting views on another top podcast. Her guidance - that children should not be in daycare and that women should stay at home for the first couple of years - I felt was too dogmatic, and I immediately jumped on the mic to record this episode.That professional's opinion comes from an informed place. However, I strongly disagree with them, and in this episode I want to share what I believe are the five core things you should be providing for your children, irrespective of family structure and circumstances.Because if you can focus on providing these things, your children will flourish.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…(now who wants to guess what podcast I was listening to?)Highlights from this episode:00:49 - The story behind this podcast05:14 - Secure attachments13:04 - Emotional support19:29 - Communication24:08 - Boundaries and structure27:11 - Positive role models
Exams can be a stressful time for our children, which makes them a stressful time for us mums and dads too! There's a lot of pressure, which can feel overwhelming, but it doesn't need to be like this.In this episode I help you to understand the difference between belief gaps, skills gaps and knowledge gaps, how to identify which one (or combination of) your child is struggling with, and share some tips on how you can help them manage this.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:47 - Expectation vs Reality02:23 - Identify the mismatch07:09 - Bridging the knowledge gap
Is your child quiet, shy or reserved?Do they struggle to get heard in group settings?Are you worried their introversion is holding them back?As parents we naturally worry about our children, but here's some breaking news: just because they might be reserved or quiet, it does not mean they lack belief or confidence.They may not know how to assert themselves in certain situations as well as others, or even as well as you or their siblings, so in this episode I am going to help you spot the signs where additional support may be needed, and give you some expert advice on how to help your children find their voice.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:09 - Some children are naturally more reserved than others03:10 - Home is a safe space05:48 - The wooden spoon09:05 - Does your child need additional support?12:14 - Signs of low self-belief or lack of confidence14:53 - A compliment is like a non-stick pan18:53 - Finding opportunities for your child to test their capabilities21:56 - Practice practice practice23:36 - What are you modelling?
Do you dread nap time? And is your child always resisting a nap?As parents, we know there's nothing worse than the tantrum of an overtired kid, so in this episode I'm here to help you create an effective routine to help your children rest and recharge.Spoiler alert: maybe it's time to detach yourself from nap time and start thinking about it as quiet time instead.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:14 - Why do children need naps?03:55 - Tiredness is not an on-off switch05:15 - Repetition is effective07:39 - Pick up the cues09:45 - Creating resilient children through quiet time11:50 - Transitioning from naps to quiet time
Do your parents criticise your parenting?Do you struggle to enforce your own rules on the Grandparents?Do Nan and Grandad sometimes think they're above the law of Mum and Dad?If you're constantly battling with your own parents over your children, don't worry - we've all there at some point! I often had difficult conversations with my own Mum when raising my two children, and it's not easy.In this episode I'm going to help you manage these situations by sharing some top tips on how to approach this tricky topic with your parents, and resolve it before an all our family war breaks out!So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:28 - We rely on Grandparents02:56 - Generational parenting differences06:55 - An environment to talk openly08:43 - Active listening11:48 - Communicate your approach and the reasons behind them14:55 - Acknowledge our parents' feelings19:54 - Setting boundaries
Do you ever find yourself procrastinating?Do you ever struggle to focus on one task at a time?And how many things are unfinished because something more important suddenly came up?Both children and parents can get so easily distracted - I understand, the world is a busy, urgent place at times, and it feels like everything needs doing all at once!In this episode, I help you apply the 5 Minute Rule to help you focus your energy on one thing at a time. By fully zoning in on one thing for even a short amount of time, you will get so much more out of that activity.So find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:02 - What is the 5 Minute Rule?03:54 - The 4 steps to implementing06:03 - Beware of these pitfalls!08:29 - It's not just for procrastinators
We have all heard of LGBT+ or pride, and terms like non-binary, asexual, trans, but do we really understand them? And as parents, how do we begin to have those conversations with our children?In this episode I am joined by Amy Ashenden, Director of Communications and Engagement at Just Like Us, to talk about how to normalise conversations around LGBT+ and diversity, equality and inclusivity (DEI) more broadly.Amy shares some fascinating insights from Just Like Us' research, which forms the basis of their Guide for Parents, and you can access it using the link below. Amy is also a lesbian and a mum, who candidly talks about her own lived experience of growing up and living without the allyship she works so hard to encourage from all of us today.This is such an important episode that you simply cannot miss, so find a comfy seat, pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy the conversation…More from Amy and Just Like Us:Visit their website: https://justlikeus.org/Get their Guide for Parents: https://justlikeus.org/lgbt-guide-for-parents/Highlights from this episode:05:22 - What do we mean by LGBT+09:26 - Looking past the stereotypes13:46 - Parents leading the conversation16:54 - Misinformation and social media20:20 - “It's just banter”25:03 - Putting the B & T into LGBT29:06 - Be an ally, not a saviour32:04 - Dealing with homophobia in your own home35:58 - Faith and allyship37:03 - Just Like Us LGBT+ Guide for Parents Key Points
Anxiety affects us all, and in this bucket emptying episode I'm going to help your children and you as parents, to manage your anxiety and keep your mental health in check.I'm going to share with you a strategy called Be Here Now, which consists of five simple questions to help you when anxiety strikes.If you do regularly suffer from anxiety and depression, or you just need some additional support with your mental health, please do reach out or contact charities such as Anxiety UK. Remember, you are never alone.Highlights from this episode:02:38 - Be Here Now06:31 - What am I doing right now?07:03 - Am I thinking about something other than what I'm doing now?08:00 - How am I feeling?08:32 - What can I do now to help myself?10:10 - Should I schedule time to problem solve?
Who am I?That's what we're asking In the first of a two part special on social and emotional skills.They're not the things you can really see or measure, and there's no right or wrong answer, but they are so important to how your children interact with the world, and in shaping who they grow up to be.Parenting styles come in all shapes and sizes, but unless you and your children know how to identify your super powers and your skills, knowing how to raise them, encourage them, and support them is just a big guessing game!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:33 - What are social and emotional skills?03:55 - Different ages and stages07:18 - Self-identifying your strengths11:23 - Who am I?14:20 - We become what people tell us we are17:45 - Having the conversation with older children20:00 - Part of a process23:10 - How they experience emotions
As parents there's always a million things to do and it's so easy to get overwhelmed, which is why in this bucket-emptying episode I'm talking about the power of one. When you focus on one thing at a time, you will find it easier to deal with, and that's going to help you and your children.This episode is all about the three Cs - central, clarity, and consistency. I'm going to help you understand and apply the three Cs so that you can harness the power of one and channel your inner Super Parent.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:02:02 - The Three Cs04:29 - Working out your one06:48 - Create an objective measure09:07 - Example 1: pre-verbal children11:45 - Example 2: children who won't listen14:34 - Example 3: battling tech use
It's Valentine's Day and love is all around… unless you have kids. A recent study shows that many parents with children have not had a date night in the past six months. However, as role models to our kids, it's so important to make time for them, for ourselves, and for our partners.So this episode is all about connection. I give you five reasons why you need to be spending more time with your partner and share some practical advice to help you do that.Let's keep the romance alive!Highlights from this episode:01:46 - Romance is dead… say the stats04:00 - 5 reasons to prioritise time with your partner06:47 - The secret to a long life10:36 - Make time for yourselves and each other13:36 - Plan, plan, plan15:31 - A change of mindset18:49 - Enlist help!
On this week's bucket emptying episode, I am joined by children's author Ebele Bright (Fly Chico Fly and Shake Ben Shake).Ebele also founded Announce World to share beautiful stories with both children and adults, inspired by the truths and life lessons she is passing on to her daughters. Her picture books, which encourage deeper conversation with children, are perfect for children aged 3-8, parents, teachers and anyone who has an influence on kids.In this episode, we explore how we can help our own children feel more courageous, and how storytelling can be a super powerful way to unlock our kids' inner superhero.Highlights from this episode:04:09 - Normalising emotion08:57 - Turning on the lightbulb12:38 - What would Mama Eagle do?15:22 - The mindset to stand when you're not there18:38 - Learning how to failBuy Ebele's Books:Fly Chico Fly: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fly-Chico-Ebele-Bright/dp/1838294708/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=0si2F&content-id=amzn1.sym.f7cacb80-afed-4bd2-a630-ebf24465f0d7&pf_rd_p=f7cacb80-afed-4bd2-a630-ebf24465f0d7&pf_rd_r=262-7026818-4147105&pd_rd_wg=78N5e&pd_rd_r=5a208941-5a93-4a87-b384-e0cf6b38d170&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dskShake Ben Shake: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Shake-Ben-Ebele-Bright/dp/1838294724/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=0si2F&content-id=amzn1.sym.f7cacb80-afed-4bd2-a630-ebf24465f0d7&pf_rd_p=f7cacb80-afed-4bd2-a630-ebf24465f0d7&pf_rd_r=262-7026818-4147105&pd_rd_wg=78N5e&pd_rd_r=5a208941-5a93-4a87-b384-e0cf6b38d170&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk
When your child struggles to handle their big emotions, what do you do? If you're like me, you'll listen to podcasts and read all the books. And, if you're like me, you probably found none of them helped much in practice. Am I right?Well, in this episode, I'm going to help you cut through the noise, to understand the reasons why your child might appear to be acting out or struggling with intense emotions. I am going to help you go back to the source, figure out why they happen, and then help you figure out what to do about it.So, pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:49 - I don't like labels03:10 - Early development08:16 - Is there a skills gap?12:35 - Tweaking the brain circuits15:00 - Validate the emotions16:46 - Label the emotions19:41 - Bridging the skills gap21:58 - A toolkit for managing big emotions23:37 - Change takes time and consistency
Do your kids like to play rough?Can they take it too far until one of them gets hurt?Do arguments quickly escalate into physical fights?You're not alone! Most parents with multiple children will experience this at some point, so in this week's bucket emptying episode, I explain what you can and should do when siblings get physical, and share some quick tips you can use right away.We explore how you can effectively diffuse a physical altercation between your children, and also help them to manage any big emotions which might be causing their physical outbursts.Highlights from this episode:01:46 - Stop the fight as soon as possible03:42 - Put physical space between your children05:12 - Judge the fight, not the people07:47 - Talk it through
Spoiler alert: all children lie! And many of our children will experience self-esteem issues, so it's really important to understand how to recognise it, and support your children through these difficult times.Does your child lie often about silly things?Are they not growing out of it like you thought they would?Do their lies cause upset or consequences to others?If you answered yes to any of these, you're not alone!In this episode, I talk you through the key things you need to know, including what you should avoid and what you need to start doing to help.Highlights from this episode:01:22 - Children who lack confidence do this…04:21 - Lying as a coping mechanism09:17 - 2 things you should avoid12:08 - 5 things to start doing15:12 - Which line is longer?18:31 - Praise the process22:57 - Confidence is an inside job26:34 - White lies
Whether your situation - be it parenting solo, coparenting, parallel parenting or something else - we can all agree that sometimes parenting is hell! That's why this episode is all about finding contentment.From the Happiness Myth to mantas, I share some top ways you can cultivate your own contentment, helping you stay happy, healthy and motivated to take on whatever life (and the kids) throw at you!Highlights from this episode:00:48 - The Happiness Myth03:03 - A typical scenario04:43 - Scan the day08:21 - The power of mantras
Does your child seem anxious or worried?What are the signs to look out for?And what can you do to help?In this episode, I am going to talk you through how to manage anxiety and worry in your child, by applying what I call the Seesaw of Wellbeing. I help you to understand what an unbalanced seesaw looks like, how this might present itself in everyday life, and some actionable steps you can take to rebalance.Highlights from this episode:01:36 - The Seesaw of Wellbeing06:37 - The symptoms of unbalanced seesaws11:01 - The different kinds of unbalanced seesaws12:47 - The three categories16:32 - Anxiety20:02 - What can we do to help?
Today, I'm answering a listener question that I think will empty quite a few of your buckets. It's all about rude behaviour.Whether it's a young child screaming, “I hate you!” or a teen being disrespectful, name-calling, or acting out in ways that feel rude, I'll explore strategies to understand and address these challenges effectively.Join me as we unpack the roots of rude behaviour and learn how to navigate these moments with clarity and confidence.
Whether it's managing emotions better, building confidence, or reducing anxiety this framework is all you need.Here are the highlights:(3:11) Kaizen principles and the ladder(5:50) Let's look at a child lacking confidence and the ladder(18:40) Let's look at a lack of motivation and the ladder
In this episode, I'm introducing a transformative new concept: The Power of One.Instead of concentrating on your child's current behavioural challenges, I encourage you to shift your focus to building the relevant skills that address the root cause.
42% of marriages end in divorce, and the negative impact can be minimised if you follow these simple steps. Here are the highlights:(3:20) Trauma caused by separation or divorce(7:30) Communication(12:20) Have a plan about logistics(18:45) Be available to answer their questions(23:20) Provide Reassurance(24:00) Behaviour regression is normal(26:18) Accept parenting may be different to your co-parent(28:40) Your children many appear to take sides
Today, I'm sharing a super simple technique to add to your toolkit, which is powerful at encouraging our children to do more of what we want without the nagging. It's called descriptive praise. Join me as I share my 3 top tips to implementing this incredible tool.
You've loved the guest episodes this year, so we've curated some of your favourite moments from 2024! Whether you're revisiting old favourites or discovering gems for the first time, this compilation is packed with insights to inspire, motivate, and empower you.Sit back, relax, and enjoy the best of the best from our incredible guests. Here are the highlights:(0:00) Raising resilient women with Kim McCabe(0:00) Libbi's digital detox – one teen's experience of life without their smartphone(0:00) Brain Brilliance with Lucinda Miller(0:00) Smartphone-free childhood; the power of the parent collective
Battles with our children at mealtimes can create stressful family situations. It's helpful to identify why your child won't eat, is it texture, specific food types or a phobia? Please trust your gut instinct as a parent and if you are concerned, please consult your GP for medical advice.If your child struggles with eating, you might find these additional episodes helpful (available on Apple and Spotify): Ep 9: The Link Between Children's Emotional Wellbeing and Nutrition with Lucinda MillerEp 96: Nutrition for ADHD with Lucinda Miller
They say, “Repetition is the mother of all learning,” so we've curated some of your favourite Dr Maryhan moments from 2024. Whether you're revisiting old favourites or discovering gems for the first time, this compilation is packed with insights to inspire, motivate, and empower you.Enjoy! Here are the highlights:(0:00) Great habits for super young children(0:00) Are we too soft? Part 1(0:00) Raising confident girls(0:00) Friendships – the whole 9 yards Part 1(0:00) Teaching children how, not what to think!(0:00) Why validating emotions workYou can listen to the episodes that follow on from the episodes that are part of a series below:Are we too soft? Part 2Friendships – the whole 9 yards Part 2Friendships – the whole 9 yards Part 3
Feeling overwhelmed by the holiday hustle? Don't let the season steal your joy! In this episode, we're revisiting How to Manage Festive Stress. I'll share three practical tips to help you set realistic expectations, stay grounded, and fully embrace the magic of this time of year.Tune in and discover how to navigate the festivities with ease, balance, and a little extra cheer! Listen to 25 for 2025
It's my favourite time of year—goal-setting season! I'm not one for New Year's resolutions, but I do love creating meaningful promises and intentions using a framework that truly works.In this episode, I'll share my personal goal-setting process, the framework I use, and why setting goals can be such a powerful, life-changing practice.Are you ready to dream big, get intentional, and make the year ahead your best yet? Let's do this together! Here are the highlights: (2:18 Statistics for cynics (3:50) Why setting goals is important(10:54) The framework (17:45) Reflection(22:06) One big goal and small behaviour changes to support it(25:10) Accountability with a buddy(26:44) Manage your mindset
Are mornings at your house a whirlwind of chaos? Do you struggle to get the kids out of the house without losing your mind? If you're nodding along, today's episode is just for you!In this week's episode, I'm diving into a listener's question: How can we make leaving the house with kids less stressful? It's a challenge so many parents face, and let's be real—it can sometimes feel impossible. Join me as I share my top tips.
Meaningful changes often need very small tweaks. I'll share five changes for you, and three changes for your children. The impact will be huge!Here are the highlights: (1:48) Sleep deprived (6:08) One change at a time(9:15) Practice saying no!(13:37) Curate your tribe weekly(21:08) Early sleep for your child(23:05) Daily mantras(24:50) Reflection and gratitude
In today's bucket emptying episode, I'm introducing the Seven C's to help raise a super confident and resilient adult. The first of these is Competence.
It's tough growing up as a male. Society and peers send conflicting messages – be strong, don't cry! Raising resilient men is possible; it just requires a few tweaks.Here are the highlights: (1:09) Current challenges for young boys (10:22) Active listening(17:23) Don't shy away from difficult conversations(21:10) Be consistent with boundaries and values(23:08) Don't jump in to fix(27:11) Positive male role models(29:56) Self care(32:08) Rights of passageListen to the Sow the seeds episodeWatch the Bucket Emptying episode
I'm often asked about the challenges of extracurricular activities, whether it's finding engaging activities for young children to do with their parents, or the battles that often arise when encouraging teens to participate.Today, I'm diving into this topic in the latest Bucket Emptying episode. I'll be sharing my top tips on how to make extracurriculars more enjoyable and meaningful for everyone involved.
Facing into motherhood isn't something you can really prepare for – it just sort of hits you unexpectedly. I share my thoughts after seeing Amy Adams in Nightbitch.
In this week's bucket emptying podcast episode, I discuss affirmations and how using the technique I share for 30 days will help with your internal chatter. Once you've seen the benefits, you can share the resource with your children and add it to your family wellbeing toolkit.
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