Secret Habit

The final step in this framework is focused on freedom, but more honestly, its about confidence, integrity and longevity. This is really what guys want… they want to LIVE their lives without the bondage of “what if I slip again” or “what if I get tempted”ENOUGH with this crap… freedom doesnt talk like this, and I want to explain to you HOW to get free. Its not about time, its about resolving root pain and finding completion in your heart - sure this takes time, but time is not the main factor.You need a guide for this, hands down. I would love to be that guide if you want to consider working with meIf you're ready to book a call and find out more about coaching with me, check out my calendar at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠In this part 3 episode, I am going to talk all about freedom and the ways to develop healthy confidence.What works Finding clarity on the reasons for the root issues, not just the root issues themselvesResolving the root pain behind the unmet needs and woundsFinding completion with painful relationships Renewing the mind and restoring your identity in ChristWhat does not workFocusing on the present and seeing re occurring problems as part of lifeSeeing on going issues as your thorn in the fleshAssuming that the past is forgiven so there's no need to do any work with your childhoodGetting stuck in the busy cycle of recoveryConceptsReverse Engineering - finding clarity in why XYZ arouses youForgivenessSoul TiesRedefining Core MotivationsInner Child WorkApplicationLocate - seeing the boy inside of youLearn - understanding what's at the heart of your on going struggles with pornographyLead - Going from what feels true to what is trueJesus - Re-experiencing life through a new lens with JesusNEXT STEPS: Take Your Recovery To The Next Level:1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠2. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠3. Enroll in a Free DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Its insane how many guys think that awareness is what changes your life… I was stuck in that mindset for a long time and it really kept me stuck… I knew my struggles but I didnt know what to do with themIn this episode, I will lay out the framework for you to get SUPER clear on the real problems and then get SUPER clear on what to do about them based off of what the problems are revealing about your heart.I am excited about this episode guys, this content is some of the best I have ever come by and I am really proud of the work we do with DeepClean… it took me many years to understand this concept and now you can figure it out with me in just 20 mins, thats pretty cool!If you're ready to book a call and find out more about coaching with me, check out my calendar at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Heres what ill be sharing in this part 2 episode all about becoming emotionally mature and achieving solid sobrietyWhat worksBecoming emotionally aware THEN using that awareness to change the way you actWhat doesn't workDefining your emotions and expecting life to change because you now know how you feelConceptUtilize Trigger Digger, Trigger Template and Journaling to grow in awarenessQuick insight on each oneDefine your red zone plan - triggers, fear response, tendenciesUnderstand your longings/needs - main needs of humans and 4 ways to get them metCreate a green zone plan focused on what and how will help you experience what you need - proactive and reactiveApplication with exampleRed ZoneTrigger: Fear of rejectionResponse: Submit and freezeTendencies: people please, overeat, judge others, internal anger, avoidance of conflict, futility towards relationshipsNeedsSafety, vulnerability, support, predictability, hope, reassurance, curiosityGreen ZoneWhat can helpBible, prayer walks, calling a friend, spotify playlist, having a bath, meeting with mentor, throwing rocks by the water, hugging my wifeWho can helpWife, friend, mentor, God, sister, brotherWhen did I feel it beforeConflict with mom was resolved, safee to fail with wife, exposed by friend with love, invited into fellowship with church groupNEXT STEPS: Take Your Recovery To The Next Level:1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠2. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠3. Enroll in a Free DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this episode and 3 part series, I am going to show you the SIMPLE way to do recovery effectively. I have seen thai help hundreds of guys overcome porn, masturbation, and sex addiction and I want to share it with you in a bite size versionI have been free nearly 8 years from porn, masturbation and sex and iv spent 10 000 + hours refining this process. I hope you will glean from it so you can have everything and more in the next few years of your recoveryIf you're ready to book a call and find out more about coaching with me, check out my calendar at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Here's what I talk about in this part 1 episode on Gaining PerspectiveWho/WhereThe Gospel - Scripture, Holy SpiritMentorsPeers/SpottersDisagree'ersWHYWe need to get out of our own head and feelings start to see and know what is true, factual and provenLet this dictate how you choose, feel and liveNASIn knowledge and understanding, you will grow in confidence… ASSURE yourself in the salvation story, Gods character and His promises for youFind a spiritual father - glean from experienceFind a discipleship partner - sharpen one anotherFind a resource that is focused on scripture, facts and has proven results… NOT MORE HYPE or surface stuffNEXT STEPS: Take Your Recovery To The Next Level:1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠2. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠3. Enroll in a Free DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

We're a month into 2025, how are you doing with your triggers and temptations? In this episode, I want to ensure you dont just run away from your temptations, I want you to understand them, face them and overcome them We just launched DeepClean Signature 2.0 and its FIRE - you will learn much more about in this episode. If you're ready to book a call with our team, you can learnj how you can work 1:1 with Shawn Bonneteau: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Today, we will talk about: - How Emotions and Sexuality Are Connected - What Triggers and Temptation Tell Us - How To Create a Trigger Template - How to Ask Great Questions About Our Temptations and Triggers - How To Get To The Bottom Of Why you're Triggered - Defining Core Lies - Getting Needs Met - Pursuing Real Recovery These topics are fundamental to recovery. Guys in DeepClean are getting incredible results from just these 2 videos in our new course. If you want to take your recovery to the next level, theres no better time to take the next step, Heres a few ways for you take that next step 1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 2. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 3. Enroll in a Free DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Credit to DeepClean and Sathiya Sam & Pure Desires Arousal Template

Hey man, 2025 is fast approaching, but that doesnt mean you cant still make the most of 2024! In this episode I share some thoughts on how you can focus on generosity in this season and get yourself set up for success by enrolling in DeepClean If you're looking for lasting freedom from porn, START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 2. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 3. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ This episode was inspired by a nudge from the Lord to stand firm in my calling as a father one morning. Since then, I started to think about how we need to go from compassion, to leadership to firmness In this episode, you will learn all about the ways to change, but even more, the ways to go through the pain that comes with change 1. Speaking to the man with language that conveys strength and boldness 2. Focusing on 30 day increments to experience the blessing of change/sobriety from porn 3. Creating task focused mission statements to snap yourself out of the dopamine spiral and into the truth 4. Emotional Regulation to ensure you have the bedrock of recovery rock solid If you need help with any of these steps, dont delay getting in touch. I know these concepts can be difficult to apply on your own, not to say you MUST get 1:1 coaching, but to say, you really need to be honest with yourself and how probable it is that you can do this without the right help If you feel ready to explore coaching, book a call, it costs you nothing and could cause you to gain everything https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learning the Czech Language has made me so aware of what guys need when healing from porn addiction... they need clarity, simplicity and spotted reps. They don't need more discipline or harder work, they need more guidance! If you're looking for lasting freedom from porn, START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 2. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 3. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ In this episode, ill share about my journey of learning Czech and how its improved my coaching 100x over Ill go into details about why the DeepClean system is so incredibly powerful, even more than I knew before learning a language If you feel helpless, lost, or stuck when it comes to quitting porn and overcoming sexual brokenness, then this episode is definitely for you! Book a call to work with me: https://secrethabit.ca/call

If you're looking for lasting freedom from porn, START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠⁠ 2. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 3. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ This episode is all about helping YOU make the most of your time and effort, so you can get the healing from porn addiction that you're looking for In this episode, you will learn about - the true mindset to prioritizing what matters most - deep work vs learning and preparing - making time vs having time - mission statements - inner child healing A lot of this can be fairly easy to apply, however, to stay consistent, thats the true test. If you struggle with consistency, I would assume theres some deeper roots to work through If you need help healing the roots, book a call with our team. Working with us is often the difference between someone throwing mud against the wall or finding lasting freedom from their porn addiction Book your call now: https://secrethabit.ca/call/

This is Episode 100 of the SH podcast! Bring on the fireworks!! Im so excited to bring this REALLY IMPORTANT word for such a milestone episode If you're looking for lasting freedom from porn, START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠ 2. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 3. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Iv been UBER convinced lately that guys need to grow in leadership... I did and I still do, and that's after 7 years of freedom from porn addiction! Here are a few of my recent convictions: - Leadership is a non-negotiable - leadership is difficult and rarely taught/understood - leadership is built on empathy and strength - Iv missed out on ensuring guys feel fully equipped in the step of leadership - Anytime someone is stuck after growing in self awareness it always comes down to a lack of leadership Here are some of the biggest challenges I see with clients recently: - Moving from self-awareness to daily AND life long change - How to live in TRUTH when what FEELS TRUE is so powerful - Leading themselves aka, renewing their minds  Here is what I want to explain, explore, and coach you on today: - Where guys are struggling to lead (with examples) - Defining their inner child feelings, thoughts, and needs  - Role-playing leadership to ensure you are fully equipped - my 3 step formula - Learning about the boy within - my 3 step template - Separating what feels true from what really is true through love and STRENGTH *For more content on inner child work, you can check out other episodes on the POD, but for now, check out some of the resources linked here, they will get you on the right track. * Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Bonus Resources: Betrayal Trauma Coaches (Affiliated with DeepClean) Lila Pisor - book a call Stacey Oliver - book a call

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠ 2. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠⁠ 3. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Most people struggle to feel momentum in their Christian walk. This leads to low self esteem, dull confidence and lukewarm living... which leads guys to relapsing with porn. Not a fun cycle to be in! One of the biggest reasons I see for this is that we dont know how to truly sharpen one another (Scripture says that iron sharpens iron) Most people are "great" at giving advice, but the advice is actually harmful, or unhelpful at best... We focus way to much on the surface problem and neglect peoples deep pain We must start asking questions that get to the heat of the issue King Artaxerxis in Nehemiah 2 is a great example of what we call curiosity in the recovery world. He asks Nehemiah a wonderful question to get below the surface, and then further, he asks how he can help RATHER than assuming his advice is what he needs I also dive ito some paradigm shifts when it comes to discipleship, accountability and friendship These are some AWESOME tips on how to develop a healthier life which leads to quitting porn and growing in sexual integrity Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠⁠ 2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠⁠ 3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠ In this episode, you'll learn why you you're coming up short even if you're "doing all the right things" This may be in porn recovery, family, marriage, work... whatever it is, you MUST change your core motivation or else you'll stay stuck. We all have a core identity and from that core identity we have motivations If your motivations are focused on NOT being a failure and working hard to not be one, you'll miss the gospel The gospel saves, PERIOD. Jesus is the solution here, but he meets us in such strategies to renew our belief system and change the very reason we do anything May this be the driver to changing your life... its time to quit porn and masturbation, to redeem your marriage, to enjoy Godly sex and to be men of integrity! Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠⁠

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠⁠ 2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠⁠ 3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠ In this episode, Shawn is going to get really real about the ONLY thing that leads to a healthy routine of spiritual disciplines. Stop trying to work harder, do more, comdemn yourself... its not working! Start with the posture of heart THAN work from that. Get ready to learn about the very dichotomy we all live in and how to choose truth, love and joy Jesus wants you to be free from porn, masturbation and sexual sin... however, He doesnt want you to think the work he already did has to be done again! Its time to change your heart and mind so you can change the very way you live each and every day Do you need some direction on what to do next? Check out ⁠⁠secrethabit.ca⁠⁠ to book a call with our team, buy a course or grab a free resource

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: ⁠https://secrethabit.ca/call/⁠ 2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: ⁠https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/⁠ 3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: ⁠https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing⁠ In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau is going to talk to you about triangulation, enmeshment and the process of getting out of what seems so stuck! If you seem to make immature decisions more than you would like to admit, then stick around and learn what it means to unmesh from your past Shawn has a personal testimony of overcoming these challenges and shares candidly about his own journey to growing in maturity, compassion and integrity This is at the heart of what it means to be free from porn, masturbation and sexual sin... If you feel stuck and dont know how to fix it, this is the right place for you Do you need some direction on what to do next? Check out ⁠secrethabit.ca⁠ to book a call with our team, buy a course or grab a free resource

Looking for lasting freedom from porn? START with one of our 3 options here: 1. Book a Call with our Team to work 1:1 with Coach Shawn: https://secrethabit.ca/call/ 2. Enroll in a DIY Mini Course: https://secrethabit.thinkific.com/ 3. Grab Our Free 90 Day Porn Withdrawal Guide: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1SIG3jTjSAtEtsqxqHDI8fNG7m9L8mAv5/view?usp=sharing In this episode, get ready to learn from Shawn Bonneteau about something that may shock you... How the types of porn you watch can actually reveal the very thing that needs healing... Its true, check out how And thats not all... Learn how your brain has created neuro connections that have become so engrained that you've become a slave to them Ill offer you a few key next steps to ensure you can apply what you learned and have some major breakthroughs This is what it takes to get free from porn addiction, overcome masturbation and outgrow sexual sin Do you need some direction on what to do next? Check out secrethabit.ca to book a call with our team, buy a course or grab a free resource

Inner Child Work has become one of the most effective approaches to healing addiction, trauma or past pain. I absolutely love it when it comes to helping men quit porn and overcome sex addiction... It's been so successful that im doubling down on it today and doing an episode to share about the 4 steps I now teach. On top of the 4 steps, I want to really unpack the most important on going step - leading the boy. Without this step being an on going habit, you will never get to the place where you have power over the trauma... you will always be a victim to the inner child getting activated, and thats no fun! If you're ready to GET FREE FROM PORN and you think inner child work is the best way for you to get there, ⁠book a call with our team at DeepClean.⁠ Extra resources: In episode 50 I share about the 9 steps to inner child work and in episode 59 I walk guys through a step by step exercise to apply the inner child approach These are AMAZING episodes, please listen to them. However, this info here will help you boil it down even more and get the absolute best out of your inner child practice. In this episode you learn about the nervous system. I do a deeper dive on this in ep 60 - all about fight, flight, freeze and finding safety in your day to day life. Get your free copy of my E-Book: The 4 Stages of Overcoming Porn Withdrawal Symptoms Tune in and submit your questions to the Unleash The Man Within Podcast with Shawn Bonneteau and Sathiya Sam

Today I brought on my good friend and past coach Greg Oliver. Greg was pivotal in my personal journey to holistic healing and freedom from porn, masturbation and erectile dysfunction Greg and his wife Stacey have been working with men and women through Awaken Ministries for nearly a decade! They focus on sexual addiction, trauma support and betrayal trauma healing while offering 1:1 coaching, support groups and in person retreats. Things weren't always so sweet for Greg... He was not only addicted to porn and masturbation, but his addiction led him to adultery. His full blown addiction was exposed 15 years ago, but only 6 years later, after getting into true recovery, he was set free and called by God to begin helping others Its an incredible story of Gods redemption over sexual addiction! In this episode, Greg and I dive into some major topics. 1. How to identify the trauma in your story 2 How to engage with God in recovery even when you feel angry/distant from him because of spiritual abuse or other trauma? As we unpack these topics, you'll here some incredible wisdom, humility and power from Gregs words He expands on a few major concepts: - Big T and Little T trauma - Behaviour follows Beliefs - How To Compare The Correct way - Finding Safety With The Right People - The Gospel and How Its The Power To Save - The 4S' of Recovery Get connected with Awaken today: - Virtual support: https://awakenrecovery.com/meetings - Retreats: https://awakenrecovery.com/intensives - Donate: https://awakenrecovery.com/donate Work or Connect with us at DeepClean: - Book a Free Strategy Call - Submit Your Questions To Our Podcast Need some help getting over the first 90 days of porn recovery? - Grab your free copy of our 90 day survival guide: Getting over porn withdrawal symptoms

Dopamine is a POWERFUL force. We see info about it all over the place nowadays. But the question is, do you actually understand how it works? Dopamine is often known as the reward chemical... However, its much more about anticiaption than reward. Take porn for example. A guy may anticipate watching porn and relieving himself, but once finished, doesnt feel the slightest but of joy. The anticipation of what he would get riled him up, but the reward was over promised and under delivered, as porn does so well. If we focus on anticipation and how we think about what things will get us/do for us, we would change so much of our behaviours... What you think leads to what you do. Jordan Peterson says that we must learn to think to avoid doing stupid things... We learn to think by writing in his opinion. Fascinating! Heres a recent episode on journaling (writing daily) In this episode I am going to talk about harnessing what we know about dopamine. I want to help you create a anticipation plan and focus on creating a a lifestyle focused on joy, growth and healthy and true pleasure. Get FREE from porn addiction today -- book a free intro call with our team at DeepClean Coaching: ⁠secrethabit.ca/call⁠ Other resources: - ⁠Porn Survival recovery guide⁠ - ⁠Unleash The Man Within podcast

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is where we get our freedom from. Sure, we can get free from addictions like porn, but we're set free from the punishment of sins debt by the cross alone. This is the gospel, the good news, the very reason why God became flesh. I want to show you how the gospel isnt just good news you read about in the bible, know intellectually, or hear on Sundays. It can become engrained in the very fibres of your being through daily repetition of self evangelism This is a vital step when it comes to addiction because most guys I know struggle with worth, value and forgiveness. These are all found in the gospel and the works of Jesus. However, when they're misplaced and misunderstood, its easy to become deceived into a work based salvation that distances you from God... see the dilemma!? In this episode, ill share about a routine I developed a few years back that has been foundational to me and my ministry, my marriage, my intimacy with Jesus and my ability to grow even further in my freedom as a man of God Recommended reading to better understand Jesus and the Gospel: Romans, Corinthians, Ephesians and the Gospels with the lens of WHO Jesus was/is (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John) Get FREE from porn addiction today -- book a free intro call with our team: secrethabit.ca/call Other resources: - Porn Survival recovery guide - Unleash The Man Within podcast

It can be HARD work to pinpoint the roots of your struggles with porn or other addictions. However, its the KEY to long lasting healing and freedom. If you dont get to the roots, you will never change the fruit. If you never change the fruit, you will never experience the joy of Christ. Heres what I wrote in the DeepClean community: If your trauma and unmet needs have to do with things that DID NOT happen, it's going to be pretty hard to remember specific events that hurt you. Why? Because what was your "normal" is the very trauma you must pinpoint.Try this tweak: Think about the things you wish you had growing up (emotionally, physically, spiritually) and ask "how did not having that affect me?"Be really honest here AND PLEASE, consider it from a child's perspective, not your adult perspective. I want to dig deeper into this idea and unpack it in this episode. Get ready to learn about the best way to pinpoint trauma, the question you must ask yourself, the 6 needs of every child and the way parents must respond to help their kids feel safe **You can learn more about the DeepClean program and approach by booking a cal with our sales team completely free - secrethabit.ca/call *For more resources on recovery such as blogs, e books and podcasts, check out secrethabit.ca *Thanks to Adam Young for his amazing episode on the 6 needs of every child *Check out Shawns other episode on learning to pinpoint trauma here

Since moving to Czech, I have had to push through a lot of adversity. The language barrier ahas been the #1 greatest challenge for me as someone who has the gift of communicating! However, through this season, there has been one go to habit I have developed that has gotten me through some of the toughest times. Its helped me hear God more clearly, praise Him more consistently and trust Him more deeply In this episode, I am going to talk about my morning routine that consists of journalling, reading the word and setting 3 focuses for the day. On top of that, I am going to share 3 tips on how to ensure you know the why, how and when behind effective journalling Ready to work with a coach? If you're looking to get to the deep roots of your addiction to porn, journalling will certainly help. However, the healing often happens when awareness meets therapy If you're ready to get that helping hand to ensure your wounded parts receive the therapy they need, book a call with our team today - https://secrethabit.ca/call/ Want a helpful nudge in the right direction? Heres my "4 stages of porn addiction" E Book, completely free

Its not uncommon for people to end the year with lacklustre results, only to set the same goals with the same strategies for the year ahead... I want to save you the disappointment and offer you a fresh perspective shift + some incredible tools you can apply RIGHT NOW Have you ever considered: 1. That you're addicted to what porn offers you? Control, certainty, power, etc 2. How misunderstandings can really affect your identity in Christ? If not, this episode will be a gamechanger for you! If you have, but dont have the results you want, then lets apply some action to your knowledge so you can experience the power of change. Get ready to learn about: * The difference between being sexually immoral and addicted to porn * How your heart affects your identity * Facing pain rather than avoiding it * Regulating your nervous system * Validating and coping with your emotions * Getting your core needs met in Jesus Christ * Growing in gratitude for the Gospel If you're ready to make some changes, but feel stuck or unsure how... it really is the best time to work with a recovery coach At DeepClean, we offer a proven system that has influenced and helped thousands of people -- Book a free call with our team so we can learn more about your situation to make sure DeepClean would be the right fir for you: https://calendly.com/d/z9f-jj9-4dp/sh-private-strategy-session-extended To hear my 2 episodes on the nervous system, check them out here: - https://open.spotify.com/episode/2aWptxl9XU6znskPu6FTk8?si=g7AiawRcSwOmzawUbTpWpQ - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TVFSIBJIUmDbM9yqysiBY?si=H8dWLsGhRt2gTN074K-Euw To hear my episode on developing intimacy with God, check it out here: - https://open.spotify.com/episode/3nVBYh7YfcgKq8Ef2VECdF?si=LwS_qXDASQqQoHAUJ7ht0Q To hear my episode on getting your core needs met, check it out here: - https://open.spotify.com/episode/7dukuDfoDzmQUCZHLvMppn?si=lPqHnxdvSuyKjAFR-O5t8g

What do I really believe? Where do I put my faith? These was the question that really got my mind turning in my early twenties... I had no clue what I believed or had faith in... I was so hurt by the church, my family and women, I didnt want to explore the idea of their being a God... it all seemed to painful In this episode, you will hear my testimony about before Christ, the ways God revealed Himself to me and how my life has changed since knowing Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. This talk was done on Nov 11th in Vsetin, Czechia and was hosted by Majak Church. The room was a mixture of Christians and Atheists with a common interest in the english language Here are some of the stories I touch on in my talk: Before Christ Good things about my childhood Hard times with trauma/church What I learned and it's consequences  Addiction, idols and sin (knowing some thing was wrong but not knowing what to do other than work harder) Hostility toward Jesus How God revealed Himself to me Hope in seeing new Christians  Exploring faith and church hopping  Jesus met me - Thyatira story Apologetics, heart conviction, mind shifting Deciding to trust in Jesus — The gospel, the evidence, the experience, the conviction  How Christ has Transformed me Meeting and marrying Helena Revealing and healing my addiction to porn Secret Habit/Ministry Moving to Nova Scotia Becoming a father Convicted to move to Czech  Being in Czech and seeing God moving PS: SO SORRY, the sound quality is not great... but its definitely not bad :)

Core needs are important! Even more, our relationship and fellowship with God is VITALLY important. However, most times, we live as if our hard work and effort is what matters most... this is a failure plan In this interview, Taylor Chambers interviews Shawn Bonneteau on the Porn Resilient Summit to talk about some major topics in the porn recovery realm In this episode, get ready to learn about: - Core needs and how they affect us when unmet - Why we need to understand Relationship AND Fellowship with God - How to understand our Nervous System and the Fight, Flight, Freeze - How to Outsmart our brain and overcome temptation - How to create truly helpful recovery gameplans - Why we need to focus on the Gospel as our first and foremost importance - The 4 Stages of Porn Withdrawals and Recovery If you find this interview valuable and want to work with Shawn, you can book a call with the DeepClean team at secrethabit.ca/call If you want to grab the free e book mentioned in the interview, get a free copy here

This idea came from a challenge I have been facing for the past 4 months and a conversation I had with my wife the other night. Whats one thing you can do each day that brings you dignity, draws you closer to God and infuses you with energy? Maybe you feel dry in your intimacy with God or you have been abdicating power in areas you have been called to lead? Maybe you sense the passion stir inside of you when you do ___ but havent made that a routine habit in your life yet Whatever it is, its time to seek a daily dose of Godly Dignity and hardness the power of feeling empowered * Register for the FREE Porn Resilient virtual summit startign TODAY (Oct 23rd) ⁠https://www.taylorchambers.com/⁠ * Enrol in DeepClean Signature, the all in one porn recovery system for Christian men: ⁠secrethabit.ca/call

Biblical forgiveness is not about forgetting... Its about naming the pain and releasing the debt to the one who has paid it all - Jesus Christ But how do we do that? In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau shares about his personal journey to through unforgiveness on route to forgiving those who have hurt him most. Topics Shawn covers in this episode: - What forgiveness is and what it is not - Forgiveness and trust are different things - The 2 common approaches to forgiveness - The 7 steps to forgiving someone or something - The call to die to self and surrender to Jesus Christ * Register for the FREE Porn Resilient virtual summit: https://www.taylorchambers.com/ * Enrol in DeepClean Signature, the all in one porn recovery system for Christian men: secrethabit.ca/call

So often I hear guys telling me "boredom" is the problem in their life. They tell me that they use pornography when they're bored. Maybe you can relate? Maybe you have kids who say this? Maybe a friend? I want to open your eyes to what boredom really is. In this episode, I (Shawn Bonneteau) will push back on this common suggestion as to why people watch porn and masturbate and offer some deeper insights Get ready to learn about: - What boredom is below the surface - What is really driving your porn addiction - How to reframe the way you label your feelings - The holistic approach to being a healthy human being I mention a great resource in this episode, Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction by Eddie Capparucci. Its a GREAT read that offers a ton of application steps to help you overcome sex addiction and other immature coping mechanisms Looking for a deeper drive? Ready to commit to the process of quitting porn for good? Book a private strategy call and join DeepClean, the all in one porn recovery system for christian men

Sexual temptation is powerful... Most people are like a deer in headlights when sexually tempted. No matter the trigger, its almost as if you go on auto pilot and do things you never thought you would do... sound about right? If so, then this recovery life hack is 100% for you In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau is going to uncover the #1 reason mature adults make childish decisions in the face of temptation. Get ready to learn about: - What happens when you go into fight, flight freeze - Why its so hard to make good decisions when sexually tempted - What is really triggering you before you watch porn - Why "prayer and read your bible more" doesn't work - Whats going on in the brain when you get sexually tempted or emotionally triggered - How to hold the power and overcome triggers and temptations no matter when they come Grab our 90 day survival guide when quitting porn (bottom of the blog page) DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE We're opening up some slots f you're ready to quit porn but need a coach, system and community to help you do it - book your free call now and join us at DeepClean - the all in one porn recovery system for Christian men

Do you do what most people do: Calling their porn addiction a "sin issue" or a "lust problem"? In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau is going to get real and challenge the weak sauce language we so often use as Christians. I want to help you add some weight to your words to enhance your conviction to change. This is a vital message to those who want to build bigger "muscles" in their journey to freedom from porn and sexual integrity Get ready to learn about: - The difference between weak and strong language - How to say things for what they are - Being brutally honest - Growing your conviction while quitting porn Ready to do something about your porn addiction FOR REAL? * Book your call with our team today and get started on our 4 month porn recovery program Extra resource: "The Last Relapse" book by Sathiya Sam. Grab your free copy today

Fruitfulness is vitally important to the Christian life. Jesus literally uprooted a fig tree that bore no fruit. If this is the case, then its time to start inspecting your porn addiction recovery for fruit. Most guys I work with are not experiencing the fruit that they could be. Its not to say they're relapsing all the time and their life is a mess... however, anything that is not fruitful IS fruitless... theres really no in between In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau takes the time to unpack what it means to not just be curious about your life, but to become skeptical. One of Shawns greatest strengths (and weaknesses lol) is that he is extremely skeptical and seeks evidence, facts and truth to back up claims or outcomes. Get ready to learn about: - Shawns journey to Christ and freedom from porn - How to inspect your life for fruit - How to ask yourself better questions - Breaking down pride, fear and sloth Need help gettign past the first 90 days of quitting porn? **Grab our 90 day porn withdrawal survival guide (bottom of the blog page) DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE **If you're ready to dig deep, heal the roots and experience lasting freedom from porn then book a call with us and get started with a coach today

Have you ever considered the idea that you actually listen to yourself much more than your speak to yourself? We all have thousands of thoughts going through our mind all day. Sadly 75% of them are from bad sources - the flesh, the world and satan... that makes the odds of hearing good things pretty low. Not only that, so many of them are deep rooted, familiar and highly toxic. These are the ones you hear the most, especially after you make a mistake. In this episode Shawn Bonneteau unpacks the difference between listening and speaking and gives you some real life examples of how he has cut off the shame cycle after making a mistake. This concept is incredible for porn addiction recovery, but its also a holistic idea that can impact every area of you life Ready to learn about our all in one porn recovery system that helps men get sober from porn in 120 days? * Book your free strategy call today Mentions in the episode: - "Humility: The beauty of Holiness" by Andrew Murray

I am answering the BIG questions today - why did I move to Czech? why did I join DeepClean? Why did I stop coaching with Secret Habit? Do I miss Canada? Am I staying in Czech? And so many more! Helena and I moved to Czech back on May 30th from Canada. I joined DeepClean on June 8th and since then, its been quite the God story. However, it goes much further back, and thats what I want to share about today If you're ready to quit porn in the next 120 days, book your free strategy call with us, we would love to help you find out the best next steps with DeepClean! * www.secrethabit.ca/call If you want to know more about DeepClean before booking a call, grab a free copy of "The Last Relapse"

Are you the kind of person who reads in the bible "flee temptation" and decides to lock down their phone, avoid the beach and cancel their gym membership? If so, we understand! It can be a confusing command to understand and apply correctly Often we read stories like in Genesis 39 where Jospeh "runs" from Potipher's wife as an example of fleeing temptation. In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau wants to offer you a perspective shift on what fleeing temptation really means and how this story has so often been taken out of context Get ready to learn about: - What Potiphers wife represents for us today - Key takeaways from Joesphs response to sexual enticement - How we surrender control to temptation too easily - The difference between sexual temptation and sexual manipulation - How to understand sexual temptation - How to overcome sexual temptation If you need help overcoming temptation, quitting porn and getting free from sexual sin, then book a call with us today, we would love to see if you're a good fit for our all in one porn recovery system "DeepClean" secrethabit.ca/call Scriptures read/referenced in this episode: Geneis 39:7-12 (NIV) Matthew 5:29-30

My 25th birthday, Aug 20th 2017, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired... I couldnt imagine another year of my life addicted to porn My 31st birthday, Aug 20th 2023, I am 6 years free and in awe of what God has done in relatively short amount of time For someone who was addicted for 14 years to porn, masturbation and sex, its insane how my life could change in such a radical way in the first 6 months then the next 12 months, 2 years, 4 years, and now 6 years. It has been a wild journey and I am beyond blessed to be able to share it with the guys I work with at DeepClean.I'll continue to make it my goal to help guys experience the freedom I feel in year 6 years so much earlier than me! I want guys to experience it in years 3 and 4 and see just how good it is to take the recovery journey seriously Here are 3 lessons I have learned that made a HUGE difference in the quality of the freedom I am experiencing today: #1: My story held the answers to WHY #2: My Inner Child needs truth AND grace #3: My core needs are fulfilled in Christ I am beyond blessed to coach men every single day to learn these same lessons, and so much more! I truly hope and pray more men will learn these things in year 1 and 2 so that their year 3 and 4 is like my year 5 and 6 If you're ready to consider working with me and getting a taste of what im talking about, then book your free strategy call with our team today.  On the call, we'll learn about your story and where you're coming from, but even better, where you want to go and how we can help. If you're ready to experience freedom, then bro, its time to take action Book your free call today: secrethabit.ca/call

Emotions are a gift from God. Not only do they tell us a lot about where we need healing, they invite us to experience a fresh dose of Gods love, comfort and peace In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau is going to dive into 2 key areas of processing emotions - labeling and validating. Theres a step by step process taught at DeepClean on how to process emotions for best results and this is a small tidbit from that incredible teaching module in the Signature program. If you want to learn more about DeepClean, book a call with someone on our team If you struggle to label your emotions, process them or talk to God or others about them, then this episode is 100% for you! Its time to learn from your emotions so you can control them. No more being ruled by your emotions! God wants so much for for you and we believe its one of the key secrets behind lasting freedom from porn addiction, compulsive masturbation and other sexual struggles. *Are you ready to quit porn for good? Book your call with the DeepClean team and find out how you can join our all-in-one porn recovery system

Holistic healing from porn addiction requires trauma work, but the age old question is this: What if I didn't experience any trauma? In this episode, Shawn Bonneteau will talk about a better way to approach the topic of trauma. Because trauma is just as much about what we learned from our experiences then it is what happened to us, we need to open our minds to what may still be driving our addictions. Maybe you dont think you had any trauma growing up, we would beg you to listen to this episode and then consider that idea Maybe you think you only experienced BIG T trauma and have done some healing in that area but there still seems to be some lingering issues you cant seem to get over Either way, this episode is for you Shawns going to uncover some incredible insights that he has applied to his own life and recovery that now has him at 6 years of freedom. He also shares these insights from years of experience coaching men from all walks of life *Ready to quit porn once and for all? Book a free private strategy call with our team at DeepClean to learn more about our coaching program.

There's a secret weapon to recovery and spiritual health that takes people from basic sobriety to lasting freedom. That secret weapon is forgiveness In this episode, Shawn lays the groundwork for rethinking forgiveness and what you thought you knew about it Get ready to learn about: - What Jesus dying on the cross means for you - What happens when we harbor unforgiveness - How to rethink unforgiveness/forgiveness - The difference between forgiving and trusting - Pinpointing the real problems and dealing with them This is a foundational lesson to the men I work with. Its such a key to quitting porn and overcoming sexual addictions of all forms. Its what fuels spiritual health and lasting freedom! To learn more about working with Shawn, book a free call today

In the Bible, we see many accounts of God getting angry. We see it in the Old Testament all throughout the rebellion of His chosen people, and we see it in the New Testament when God became flesh and did things like flipping tables! It can seem confusing to see a loving God get angry when our lens is "anger is a negative emotion", but here's the kicker, it's not! Anger is a neutral emotion that I want to unpack with you today to help you better understand God and the powerful emotion He created called anger This episode was inspired by Chapter 8 from Jay Stirngers book "Unwanted: how sexual brokenness reveals our way to healing" . I absolutely love the way Jay articulated anger. It has led to many breakthroughs in my own healing journey and with the men I have been coaching for the past 5 years! In this episode, I am going to unpack: - How anger can be harnessed for good - How anger can become sinful - The core needs of humans - Control and Entitlement driven by anger - Activism driven by anger - The most important questions to ask yourself when triggered Are you ready to get free from porn addiction? * Book a call with our team and join the all in one program for porn recovery "DeepClean": secrethabit.ca/call Are you looking for a free resource to get yourself started? * Join the Secret Habit Mens Community Today: secrethabit.ca/community Check out Episode 69 from Season 1 or Episode 2 from Season 2 if you want to dive deeper into some of the topics discussed here :)

We all have core needs and they're significant. If they go unmet, they ache. If they're met, we feel satisfied. Imagine for a second, how often do you feel one of these needs going unmet - Intimacy, Security, Significance, Affirmation, Connection, Safety, Validation? (theres tons more of course) Well, when core needs go unmet, it doesn't feel so good. A short period of time won't be a huge bother, but what about months, years, or decades? This is where we see destruction such as porn addiction, divorce, affairs, lying, etc In this episode, Shawn will unpack the core needs of humans and how much God cares about them. You will learn just how incredible it is when we shift our focus from what we want to what we need. When we let God into our lives to do whatever he wants, as long as a need gets met, it sounds crazy, but you'll experience satisfaction like never before Some of the main points of the episode will cover: - The 4 core needs of humans - The 4 places to get your needs met - The difference between wants and needs - How to change your cravings to what God wants Listen to episode 69 to learn more about our Relationship & Fellowship with God If you want to consider coaching with Shawn, book a call and learn about the all-in-one recovery system "DeepClean" Credit to Sathiya Sam from DeepClean and Drew Boa from Husband Material for helping me share about this topic

The church has often had a stance on porn addiction that seems to breed more shame and struggle... I love the Lord's bride (the church) but I am also heartbroken at its lack of help when it comes to porn addiction In this talk I gave at Rock Church in Lower Sackville, Nova Scotia, I break down 4 of the most common misunderstandings in the church, as well as handle 2 main objections I get when doing my porn recovery ministry Along the way, you will learn about the science behind addiction, current stats and my story of sexual bondage to freedom If you're ready to work with a coach, then join our program Deep Clean Signature (Created by Sathiya Sam). Book your free call today and someone from my team would love to help you learn more: secrethabit.ca/call If a free resource sounds more digestible, join the free Secret Habits men's community today: secrethabit.ca/community -- To learn more about Shawn and his work with DeepClean, check out Episode 555 from Unleash the man within with Sathiya Sam

Feeling like God's love is predicated on your performance is the greatest lie that keeps people in the cycle of shame and stuck in unsuccessful recovery forever. Trying to overcome porn addiction, pmo, erectile dysfunction or other sexual struggles are going to feel impossible when you believe God only loves you when you do well... This lie has kept too many Christians in a life of survival for far too long Today, I want to talk about just how incredible our God is and how our loving relationship with Him is never ending and never failing. I also want talk about how our fellowship with God is really what we need to focus on developing if we want to experience a life of abundance Get ready to learn about: - The difference between relationship and fellowship with God - Why relationship with God must be the foundation to our fellowship with God - How to trust in god's unconditional love even when we sin - How to enter into and stay in fellowship with God to experience His blessings - Why this is fundamental to porn addiction recovery and other healing journeys. This will be the last episode of our podcast for a while. There may be the odd recording posted between now and mid-June but we're going to take a break from podcasting as we move to Europe. Resources to utilize while we're taking a break: 1. The Secret Habit Porn Recovery Mens Community 2. "Beneath The Skin" Betrayal Trauma Recovery Program Credit to: Ministry Catalysts "Launching Multipliers"

I've heard it said that all trauma has to do with loss. That's a profound statement! This means that grief and loss are a part of the journey to healing past trauma. And that's precisely why I wanted to bring Jason Flinn on the show to talk about Navigating Grief on the Road to Recovery. Jason is a Greif Recovery Method Specialist certified through The Grief Recovery Institute. This guy knows what he's talking about! The best part about Jason is it's not just theoretical. He lost both his parents and had to learn what it meant to truly grieve and find what he calls “completion” in those relationships In this interview, you will learn about the following: Jason's story and passion for grief work and resiliency coaching The Greif Recovery Handbook and Program The myths about recovery The unhelpful responses we often get when we're grieving Enshrinement and Bedevilment Understanding our coping mechanisms How to know where and when you experience grief and loss Creating a loss graph Writing letters of completion to the relationships that carry pain  Mindset shifts and building resiliency I love how applicable this is for anyone! This is for EVERYONE. It will help if you're struggling with pmo, betrayal trauma, erectile dysfunction, or other unwanted sexual behaviours.  I personally (Shawn) went through coaching with Jason for 7 weeks and was so blessed by it! To learn more about Jason and working with him, here are some ways you can connect: www.vaultlifecoaching.ca https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/jason-flinn jason@vaultlifecoaching.ca WhatsApp: 902-292-9106 SPECIAL OFFER to anyone who signs up with Jason in the next 30 days: Share that you were referred over from “Secret Habit” and you will receive $50 off the 7-week program Other Next Steps with Secret Habit: - If you're looking to quit pornography or other unwanted sexual behaviours and want to work with Shawn, book a coaching consultation today - Join our free mens porn recovery community and get access to great content and support such as this live training, 3 free courses and daily posts of encouragement and help. 

Lately, we have been struck by how easy it is to get caught up in "positive" thinking. It seems this approach is more concerned with hype and motivation rather than grounding itself in truth. And that's where we look to the Bible for our absolute truth and the truest form of positivity. In this episode, we want to uncover the differences between "positive thinking" and truth-based thinking. We believe this will be a catalyst for your pornography recovery and overcoming things like pmo, betrayal trauma and other sexual struggles. Get ready to learn more about: - Renewing your mind (Grab the free course in the men's community "The 3 essential steps to quitting porn" for further insights on journalling) - Uncomfortable truths that are truly positive - Conflict resolution - Why unfounded "positive" thinking doesnt work - Harnessing the power of the Holy Spirit Join The Live Training Wednesday April 19th ay 7pm EST: Through the Valley of Loss: Navigating Grief on the Road to Recovery with Jason Flinn Scriptures referenced in this episode: - 1 Peter 2:20: Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you. - Habbukuk 3:17-19: 17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,    and there are no grapes on the vines;even though the olive crop fails,    and the fields lie empty and barren;even though the flocks die in the fields,    and the cattle barns are empty,18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord!    I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength!    He makes me as surefooted as a deer,[f]    able to tread upon the heights.

Taking offence to honesty is a really common reason why couples avoid "rocking the boat" at all costs. Sadly, this comes at a cost to their sexual satisfaction, trust and confidence with one another. This was our story for many years... We were stuck in the cycle of getting offended when the other would share about an unpleasant smell, a stressful day taking their mind off of sex or something else that was fair and rational. However, when feelings took over, logic went out the door. Maybe you can relate? Maybe you're stuck on how you feel more than what is real? In this episode, we want to help you: - Focus on what is real, logical and true during healthy conflict and communication - Be honest with love - Grow in awareness around your own body and what the other person may be thinking/needing - Become solutions focused and desire centric - Become a leader in your intimacy and sex life - Grow in curiosity and compassion toward yourself and your spouse We understand porn addiction, betrayal trauma and other sexual struggles can cause deeper problems to this. However, we wanted to make sure we covered a topic that we see as necessary if you ever want to take 100% responsibility and move through your struggles into freedom. If you want to learn more about deeper healing, listen to our past episodes that get into erectile dysfunction, pornography addiction, being honest, rebuilding trust, etc. Last week's episode was all about overcoming the lie that "sex is a chore", its a must-listen if you're feeling stuck! To get free access to the live training "Through the Valley of Loss: Navigating Grief on the Road to Recovery", join the mens community today. Its 100% free and loaded with resources and support Please share, rate and review :)

Sex was made by God to be a beautiful and satisfying experience for married couples. If this is true, then why do so many couples feel the complete opposite!? At the surface, it seems like sex is a lot of work or after a long day at work or with the kids, the energy tank is just too low to think about it. But if we get below the surface and get to the root, its incredible what we find. In this episode, we want to pull back the rug and share with you what we see as the underbelly sex feeling like a chore. Get ready to learn about The cultural narratives we hear and agree with The damage of unfair expectations and performance mentality Why porn is seen as easier than real sex What Gods design for sex really is The main barriers standing in the way of communication about sex How to communicate about sex as a couple Relational dynamics that are killing sexual arousal and desire Creating your own Sexual Template We have a deep passion for Christian marriages to thrive. We believe this is done when together a man and women become fully known so they can be fully loved. A huge step in this is facing our own struggles, becoming vulnerable and getting help as we walk with Jesus. If you're addicted to porn, stuck in pmo, dealing with betrayal trauma or have other unwanted sexual behaviours, then we're glad you're here to glean from our experiences of overcoming all of these and more through Gods power Ready to take the next step in your recovery? 1. Join the free men's recovery community and get free access to the Sexual Template course 2. Book a coaching consult call with Shawn and see if you're a good fit for his program Please leave a rating and review if you found this episode helpful! If you really want to help spread the word, share this with someone who needs help in their marriage and sex life. You could have a helping hand in changing the trajectory of their life!

I've heard it said that it takes 10 positive experiences to equal the power of 1 negative experience. If that's true, then it's no wonder shame is running rampant in our lives. And when shame has more power in our lives than the word of God, we begin to question our worth, isolate and numb. And when these become habitual, we're on our way to forming habits around sinful behaviours such as watching porn. This episode was inspired by a powerful approach Shawn Bonneteau learned from Jay Stringer in his famous book "Unwanted". It's the concept of "swimming toward the shark of shame" so we can face, defy and dismantle the lies we believe about ourselves and other people. It's all too common that we hear in the church that there is no condemnation in Christ, but then we realize the church is full of people who are feeling shame about some area of their lives. This doesn't say anything about Jesus, but it certainly says a lot about the approaches we're offering to handle shame. Here you will learn the 4 step blueprint to defying and dismantling shame so you can live in the truth and light of Jesus Christ. We truly believe this is at the heart of one's freedom and abundance as a Christian. If you learn this, I believe you will begin to reclaim what God intended for you. You will begin to thrive in hope, peace and joy... and we desperately want this for you! This is at the heart of recovery from pmo, betrayal trauma, sexual shame and other sexual struggles. No matter if you're single, dating, engaged, married or divorced, there's so much to learn from the word of God and His truth! It's the only way we can truly defy the lies in our life. Are you ready to take the next steps in your recovery? 1. Want free resources and a safe place to heal? Join our free men's community today 2. Ready to work with a coach? Book a free coaching consult call with Shawn Books mentioned in the episode: - Unwanted by Jay Stringer - Going Deeper by Eddie Capparucci

One of the key traits of an addict is lying... And it's this trait that drives everyone crazy! In the context of marriage, so often husbands think they're doing something noble by hiding their addiction to porn while their partners can't fathom why they would be so deceitful. This causes such tension in their connection, intimacy and trust and leaves them both feeling disconnected and misunderstood. The reality is, secrets lead to damaged intimacy. There's a quote we love that says "where secrets are present, intimacy is absent" and we live by it 100%. When a man decides to hide his addiction to porn, or the continued relapses to pornography, he is destroying trust and intimacy every second he keeps it a secret. And it's not only because of his wife but also because secrets are like drinking poison! This is why we want to talk in this episode about making right-standing (righteous) decisions rather than good/nice decisions (self-righteous). We're talking about the choice to honor God before you honor man, or the choice to honor emotions and feelings before God. This is HUGE, and plays an incredible role in your recovery, marriage and dignity as a human being. The main points we will cover in the show are: 1. The difference between right standing and being good 2. What does lying really do to a relationship 3. What we all need and long for as humans 4. Doing a full disclosure ("D-Day") 5. How to become a person of right standing This is an episode we believe will make a huge impact on all areas of life. Regardless if that's helping you with porn addiction, masturbation compulsion, porn-induced erectile dysfunction, betrayal trauma or other sexual struggles, we trust that God works in these places when we truly humble ourselves and surrender to His truth and not our own idea of morality. Ready to quit porn, follow our 3-step plan: 1. Join our free men's community 2. Sign up for a free course in the community 3. Start 1 on 1 coaching Please rate & review our show, it helps others hear our content and get the help they're searching for! It only takes 2 minutes :)

One of the biggest struggles I see with my clients no matter where they live or how old they are is creating healthy relationships. I have pinpointed 4 main barriers that stand in the way of someone taking the risks a healthy relationship requires and I want to help you break them down in this episode. I believe healthy relationships breed the type of connection we long for. I also believe that when we feel connected, we feel safe, secure, loved, cared for and wanted. These are all VITAL to someone being free from sexual addiction and feeling redeemed. Relationships are truly one of the key elements to a successful recovery and life that you must take seriously. This episode is taken from a live training Shawn Bonneteau did in the Secret Habit Mens Community. These are hosted once per month and for those in the community, you get access to a 20-minute Q and A afterward! Make sure to join the community today! In this episode, you will learn about: - The 4 barriers keeping you from healthy relationships - The practical solutions required to break the barriers - Biblical examples of healthy relationships - Applicable and helpful next steps so you can get started today The goal of this live training is to help you create purposeful relationships that bless your recovery and life. that's it! If you find this to be too simple and there are further traumas and struggles in the way, please reach out for coaching, I would love to chat and see how I can help Ready to quit porn, follow our 3-step plan: 1. Join our free men's community 2. Sign up for a free courses in the community 3. Start 1 on 1 coaching Please rate & review our show, it helps others hear our content and get the help they're searching for! It only takes 2 minutes :)

How do I make my wife feel safe again after my porn addiction? This is a question that has been asked by men over the years. Women are not happy because they are not safe, and they will never feel safe until you make them feel like they can trust you again. The safety element is kind of a building block in building trust, and it's a foundational element that must be in place before you can really start to rebuild the trust between you. In this episode, Helena and Shawn Bonneteau are going to help you understand the do's and don't s of how to make your wife feel safe again. Helena will give you some practical steps that you can take to rebuild trust with your wife and help her to feel safe again while on your journey to overcoming masturbation and porn addiction. Many men think that they already know what their wives need from them and they think going to meetings, and calling their sponsors makes her feel safe. But it's not that simple. Sobriety isn't the end goal, as you will learn here. Here you will quickly learn: When you're in sobriety, you have to keep on doing the things that make your wife feel safe. Not doing things isn't changing and sobriety from behavior change doesn't equal trust Sobriety in itself isn't the solution, being more like Christ is... Changing from the inside is. Recovery's not doing things, it's changing. Changing is an integral part of us How to define what is safe and what is safe and what restores safety. Being busy with recovery leads to tiredness, irritability, and grumpiness which translates to being unsafe for your wife Wife watches who you are more than what you do What is safe? Wife seeing husband growing with God, seeking integrity Having curiosity and asking for clarity and help. (What do you need right now? What would make you feel safe? What would make you feel this is rebuilding trust?) Expressing a willingness and desire to change/heal Taking ownership, apologizing, seeking to reconcile What is unsafe? Assuming you know what she wants, needs and likes Breaking boundaries without respecting them Abdicating leadership and role as man and leader; Being passive-aggressive, avoiding conflict and tension. Not fulfilling your God-given role of protector and provider. This episode is ultimately all about finding out what your wife wants and likes which helps remove the assumptions that bring marriage struggles between couples. Learning each other's boundaries and how to respect each other boundaries is a big part of what helps build trust in a relationship. When you respect each other's boundaries, it shows that you care about them and their feelings. If you're wondering how to rebuild trust with your wife after masturbation and porn addiction (and make her feel safe and happy), then this episode will help get started on the right path. Ready to quit porn? Follow our simple plan: 1. Join our free men's community 2. Sign up for some free courses in the community 3. Start 1 on 1 coaching Ready to heal from Betrayal Trauma? Grab the "Beneath The Skin" video course for only $49 cdn PLEASE Comment, like, and share the episode

Our natural fear response is incredibly helpful to us as humans. However, it can also be the very cause of our struggles with things like addiction, conflict, safety, and relationships. Naturally, our body goes into shock when we perceive or experience danger. This is our nervous system reacting and helping us survive. Unfortunately, this natural response can become a prison for us if we don't understand what's going on and how to come back to a place of safety and calm. In this episode, Shawn and Helena are going to help you understand and overcome the response of your nervous system to fear so you can build stronger relationships and a better sex life. Get ready to hear about: 1. What happens inside of you when you perceive or experience danger 2. The different types of fear responses - fight, flight, fawn, freeze, shut down, flop 3. How your brain works when you get stuck in fear 4. The problems of staying stuck in the red zone 5. The solution to staying in and getting back to the green zone (safe, calm, and grounded) This episode is ultimately all about regulating your emotions, and that's a crucial part of healing for anyone who wants to quit porn, overcome sex addiction, heal from betrayal trauma, or simply be healthier in their marriage and relationships. We deeply care about marriages thriving and feel as if this teaching may be one of the most important ones to understand and apply! Ready to quit porn? Follow our simple plan: 1. Join our free men's community 2. Sign up for some free courses in the community 3. Start 1 on 1 coaching 4. Get free from porn *The basis of this episode is from things we have learned from people like Adan Young talking about Polyvagal theory, as well as our own counselors along the way.

So many of us do things we wish we did not do. It's one thing to not want to do them, it's another thing to know how to stop! For any of you that know the famous text in Romans 7:15, I'm sure you can relate to Paul's internal battle of doing what he hates, even though he knows what is good. From a psychological standpoint, this sort of inner war happens because of things like childhood trauma, no matter how big or small. When we experience something painful or come to believe something that goes against God's truth while in our formative years, it leads to that part of us getting stuck in "childish" thinking, aka. immaturity. It's as if the child within gets frozen in time and cannot mature, no matter how hard you try! In this episode, you will hear from Shawn Bonneteau's teaching on inner child healing, as well as internal family systems and the concept of parts work. This recording was from his live training that was live in the Secret Habit Porn Recovery Mens Community. Get ready to learn about: - Healing your inner child through being re parented - Recognizing and healing the parts of you that carry shame - Understanding your inner manager, firefighter and exiles - What is happening inside the brain, mind and body when you get triggered - Your 3 roles in healing your parts and inner child - The 9 steps of inner child healing recovery This approach has been incredibly helpful for porn addiction recovery and healing from other unwanted sexual behaviours. If you're struggling with watching porn, masturbation, sex addiction, or any other form of sexual shame, then I would encourage you to consider this opportunity to heal the deeper roots of your struggles. To watch this live training and not just listen, join the Secret Habit Porn Recovery Mens Community + Get access to live trainings like this every month! The next one is Feb 25th - RSVP inside the community for free Ready to get coaching? Check these links out: 1 on 1 Coaching with Shawn (For porn addiction, unwanted sexual behaviours and porn-induced erectile dysfunction) Group Coaching with Shawn (For men who want to outgrow unwanted sexual behaviours)

Sexual shame is often at the heart of marriages that are sex-starved, disconnected and hurting. It's incredibly insidious... causing good-meaning people to lie, people please, isolate, and wear destructive masks. Sadly, the pain of past abuse, poor choices, and what are seen as shameful acts cause all of us to question ourselves and wonder if we can truly be loved for who we are and for what we have/had done to us. This is where we get to know shame very well. In the most vulnerable places that feel impossible to share with others... Shame says "you are bad" and seeks to attack our identities. And this is why this topic is SO important... God says "You are special" while shame says something very different. In this episode, Shawn and Helena share from their personal story of how sexual shame kept them in the shackles of bondage for so long. It kept them in hiding, fear and constant lying... But there's good news, they are free today, and with that, want to bring a very real and hopeful message Get ready to learn about: 1. The difference between shame and guilt 2. How pride and shame go hand and hand 3. What shame is and feels like 4. Shawns' story of PIED (porn-induced erectile dysfunction) 5. Helenas story of sexual abuse and body shame 6. Four Steps to healing from sexual shame and other identity issues 7. Shawn and Helenas most helpful lesson they learned along the way Shawn talks about the sexual template in this episode and how it was crucial to his recovery from PIED. To grab a free copy of Shawns course, join the free men's recovery community today Books referenced: Unwanted by Jay Stringer (Chapter 11) You are Special by Max Lucado (Punchinello)

It's one thing to find freedom from porn addiction, PIED and betrayal trauma, but it's another thing to continue to heal the deep roots and experience greater levels of freedom. In this really real and honest episode, Shawn and Helena share some of the recent pain points in their lives and some profound findings as they heal through a difficult season of emotional turmoil. Shawn's original call from the Lord was the "use his story as a way to share hope with others" and we hope this episode does just that. One of the greatest things we can all do for our marriages and families is to continually work on finding deeper healing from our pasts, so we can live fully in the present. Hear even more of Shawn and Helena's story on the Braveharts Hero's Journey Virtual Summit: Sign up now or FREE access during the conference In this episode you will hear/learn about: - The contrast of being free from porn and betrayal and forgetting the dark days VS struggling with porn addiction or betrayal trauma and wondering if you'll ever get there - The valuable God lessons we learn through our healing journeys rather than experiencing a miracle like Paul * HELENA's update on a season of feeling like God was silent - That God always speaks and wants to speak to His children - The Assurance in Christ's death and resurrection - How to fixate on the beauty of who you are in Christ - The power of coming boldly and confidently to God who is our Mighty Counsellor - The importance of Seeking, Knocking, and keeping it up until you will Find (Matthew 7:7-8) - The relationship we have with God that leads to our fellowship - The security we have in Christ that leads to our Assurance * SHAWN's Update on a season where he felt hopeless, fearful and avoidant - Attachment and how to be reparented by God - Our spiritual focus: Do we build our own "house" or do we build the Lord's "house" ( Book of Haggai) - The difference between sharing emotions with God and sharing our situations (Psalm 34) - Deeper levels of healing = Greater levels of freedom Join Shawns Story Healing Group Coaching Or, Join the free men's recovery community Book recommendation: Troy Black: Stop Worrying