Brown Bag Mornings

We tackle Jacob's terrifying dilemma: his "toxica" wife is making deportation jokes and demanding gifts if he wants her signature on his mom's green card application, a situation so bad that a self-proclaimed "toxic" caller tells the wife she needs to "tone down the toxica". Plus, we cover the massive opportunity for a lucky eater to become a $2,000 Las Vegas Thanksgiving buffet judge and celebrate the genius bride who walked down the aisle to the "Thong Song" played beautifully on a harp by Siren Gliss. [Edited by @iamdyre

It’s Turkey Trot Tuesday, and the fam is fighting through the pain of mashed potato fallout ("It went in as mashed potatoes came out as gravy") while poor Victor recovers from the shortest 5K ever, having lost massive bets that cost him his son's fandom and forced him into a Cowboys jersey. The 'Homie Helpline' segment tackles a holiday nightmare when a new half-sister wants to crash Thanksgiving, forcing the hosts to debate whether the truth should "come out over the turkey" or if it’s too disrespectful to the family. [Edited by @iamdyre

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The Homie Helpline delivers a piping hot cup of abuelita chocolate as April’s tia betrays her whole family by going back to the foo who cheated, faked his death, and gave her "an itch she couldn't scratch off"! Meanwhile, the Brown Bag crew debates if Klay Thompson’s poor NBA performance is truly due to his relationship with Meg the Stallion—who was referred to as a "kitty cat" by former NBA players—and they react to Ray J’s explosive counter-suit alleging the Kardashians faked tape drama for ratings. [Edited by @iamdyre

One husband, Eddie, calls the Homie Helpline seeking help to win back his wife after his 12-year relationship blew up due to him seeking attention and validation from girls on Instagram. Meanwhile, the crew discusses why the iconic voice of Morgan Freeman is threatening legal action against anyone using AI to mimic his voice for low-budget content, stating, "I don't appreciate it" and is feeling robbed of opportunities. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline tackles a chaotic call from a new mom struggling with her "Suegra" (mother-in-law) who is engaging in secret, skin-to-skin bonding with the baby while wearing a "granny bra," leading the mom to worry about boundary issues and feeling totally replaced. Adding insult to injury, the crew judges California for having the most mispronounced "word" being a name (Kali Uchis), while also celebrating the fact that Christmas trees are tariff-free and announcing the huge giveaway of 106 free Tamal kits for the holidays. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Brown Bag crew tackles a huge holiday crisis on the Homie Helpline, where a single dad is threatening to cancel Thanksgiving and Christmas because his 22-year-old daughter borrowed $2,000 for parking tickets and tags and still hasn't paid him back. You'll want to listen carefully as the team also reviews the dramatic and suspicious audio from Vic's viral "ringer dinger" chiropractor visit, discusses Kim Kardashian blaming psychics for failing her bar exam, and celebrates the saga of the woman who managed to make it across the Mexico border in a stolen car. [Edited by @iamdyre

The "Homie Helpline" takes on heart-wrenching (and infuriating) family drama as Miriam seeks advice on how to retrieve her grandpa's promised car and sentimental items from his controlling new wife, who cruelly told her she'll "get over losing a grandpa". Plus, the crew debates why Target is implementing a creepy new initiative that requires staff to look you dead in the eye and smile from 10 feet away, potentially ruining everyone's human-interaction-free shopping experience. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline goes deep into anxiety and technology when Katie asks if she should allow her cheating baby daddy to claim the child conceived during a "POP"-less rendezvous with a married man, fearing that future DNA tests will expose the years-long lie. This chaotic situation inspires listeners to call in and share how Ancestry.com and other tests have already revealed that their own family secrets and paternity questions came to light, often imploding their entire family structure. The crew also discusses major pop culture disappointment as Daddy Yankee suggests he would skip performing the iconic "Gasolina" at the Super Bowl, preferring to promote his new spiritual music to "send a message". [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline features Joey, who is struggling with immense guilt over potentially missing Christmas for an anniversary trip, as his family reminds him of his sick mother. Then, the crew debates if two years of probation is worse than 20 days behind bars and unpacks the wild news that the classic Matrix code is allegedly based entirely on sushi recipes. [Edited by @iamdyre

Tune in to the Homie Helpline where Aaron is agonizing over whether to block his "hater homie" Jason—who went sour after losing his girl and whip—or try to save their 16-year friendship, even though Jason publicly clowned his skills. The hosts also break down the confusing Electoral College using analogies involving the World Series, buying bottle service sections at the club, and throwing a chaotic pizza party. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline catches up with Tony, a 27-year-old who admitted to making jokes out of everything, including purposely leaving his shoes out to annoy his now ex-girlfriend, but he plans to join the Marines to prove he's finally a man. Plus, the crew tallies the results of the hilariously divisive Brown Bag Election! [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline is on fire as Carlos seeks advice on his "anger rights" after his fiancée's stepdaughter asks her mom to be the madrina alongside her ex-husband padrino for a baby baptism, sparking debate over whether he should confront the entire family. We also celebrate the Dodgers' improbable World Series victory against the Blue Jays with reports from the massive parade in Downtown LA (where fans are getting fired for attendance!) while also trolling Drake for talking trash only to see his team lose, and breaking down celebrity breakups and Halloween drama. [Edited by @iamdyre ⚾]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The crew tackles a relationship crisis on the Homie Helpline when Savannah discovers her Christian boyfriend plans to ditch her for a Halloween party hosted by a "lesbian coworker," leading the guys to jokingly advise she should "let him cheat in peace" or just give him a "ring camera around his neck" as a costume. Plus, Alfred Robles delivers a big announcement, Vic reveals his truly bizarre Billy Ray Cyrus costume, and renowned medium AJ Barrera joins the show to connect with spirits and even instructs a caller to fix a bathroom leak. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew dives deep into the Homie Helpline to figure out if Pedro's Tia is protecting him from bad vibes or if the cold spots in the house mean he’s a ghost who doesn’t realize he’s dead. We also break down the confusing word of the year, "67," which apparently can mean anything from "mid" to a chemically relevant insult found on the periodic table. [Edited by @iamdyre ⚰️]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Homie Helpline is swinging into chaos as a father tries to decide whether to participate in the Spider-Man meme costume with his 8-year-old son and his "skinny and single" baby mama, risking an unhappy wife who believes the ex is trying to "catch that web again". Later, the laughter continues when DJ Greg C reveals Concrete’s shocking 2016 past as an LA rapper named "Beretta" (a.k.a. "The Mexican Game") during Wicked Wednesday, and the crew tackles major topics like J. Cole’s $500k lawsuit over a handshake deal and China’s new law requiring certified podcasters. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline takes a serious turn as Dom is left "sick to my stomach" after his wife wore a sexy bunny costume where "she had her whole ass out" to a work party featuring her boss as Hugh Hefner, leaving the team to debate whether Dom is simply suffering from "low self-esteem". Things get spooky when the crew recounts their ghostly adventure at the haunted Pasadena Playhouse, where a mini-séance resulted in a mysterious movement of a windchime and the hosts discuss the entity that likes to grab people, leading to the coining of the legendary "Spooky Gucci Touch". [Edited by @iamdyre

The "Homie Helpline" gets wild when Sergio realizes he's a victim of "guy logic," admitting he only wants Jenny now that she has turned into a "spooky basket making machine" for other men, prompting the crew to debate if he should engage in this "pretty for the streets" competition. Plus, prepare for an emotional journey as the team ponders the appropriate funeral etiquette after listening to a heart-wrenching eulogy delivered by Sonic the Hedgehog at the service for a 21-year-old cat named Ratchet. [Edited by @iamdyre

This week on the Homie Helpline, Sierra faces a ridiculous dilemma: her high-earning husband, who couldn't lend her $200, was caught making several payments up to $500 for escort services, prompting callers to decide if he was actually "scammed" or definitely "slamming". Plus, we discuss the insane "Cheeseman" segment about a famous ghost hunter who discovered mid-recording that his wife had been arrested and charged for conspiracy to commit murder by hiring a hitman, meaning he was very close to permanently joining the spirits he hunts. [Edited by @iamdyre

The "Homie Helpline" gets wild as Armando, whose "super churchy" parents are demanding grandchildren, is forced to decide whether to come out as gay or pull up to Thanksgiving dinner with his friend pretending to be his fictional, Jenna Ortega-inspired girlfriend, Carla. Meanwhile, the crew breaks down the crazy news of a Hall of Fame NBA head coach who got caught up in an illegal poker operation tied to the mafia, and they debate whether an interview with R&B star Miguel was interrupted by actual demons. [Edited by @iamdyre

The 'Homie Helpline' explodes when Javier reveals his elementary school friend, who owed him $3,500, is flexing expensive World Series tickets, leading the crew to suggest escalating the situation from catching a fade to getting some "get back" by taking a ticket and running up a bar tab. Meanwhile, the hosts debate the ethics of the Vegas Housekeeping Olympics, wonder if Janelle Monae truly is a time traveler who saw David Bowie in the 1970s, and try to keep their composure while discussing Greg's "deep cleaning" facial that required him to remove his shirt...Due to an internal system error, this episode may not sound as high-quality as previous episodes- this has been resolved for the next episode. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline throws down extreme advice after Marie learns her man was Joker to his ex's Harley Quinn, forcing the crew to debate if "body paint" is the ultimate win in girl warfare. Meanwhile, the crew rants about the new California bill restricting front seat access for older kids and details LeBron James' petty drama with Russell Westbrook. [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on Brown Bag Morning, the Homie Helpline is heating up as Jessica calls in about her machista man who controls her clothing, bans her EDM festivals, and thinks affection is "for simps". The crew offers hilarious, high-value alternatives for Jessica and discusses the easiest ways to secure cash by reselling old school collectibles like used Game Boys, PS2s, and loose Pokémon toys. [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Homie Helpline features Lorenzo debating if he should donate his "high caliber sperm" to his sister's wife, a situation Robert the 'Uncle Dad' warns could result in financial liability and the awkward creation of "cousin siblings". For anyone whose life has become too complicated by potential twin children or messy family drama, the crew explains Japan's "Jōhatsu," or "evaporation" service, where "night movers" assist clients in vanishing without a trace for a few hundred dollars, offering a real-life reset button [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lucho calls the Homie Helpline after his girlfriend, who previously keyed his car and stole his beloved PS5 following his cheating, took him back, leaving the hosts to question whether a man should be held responsible for his actions before the age of 33. Meanwhile, the crew dissects the absurd revelations from a Kim Kardashian interview, including Kanye West repeatedly giving away her Lamborghinis during "episodes", and they bond over misheard song lyrics, culminating in the hilarious discovery that Fat Joe believes the legendary Bone Thugs-N-Harmony lyric is about his "Uncle Georgia" instead of "Uncle Charles". [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The 'Homie Help Line' gets tipsy as they tackle a tough question about whether a friendship is salvageable after one mom let another's 15-year-old daughter get "turnt" at a party, prompting the crew to repeatedly remind listeners that "Teen drinking is very bad". Meanwhile, the crew dissects the latest celebrity chaos, from Al Pacino's legendary romantic regrets over Diane Keaton to the wild Skims thong featuring a hairy bush, raising the question of what price you’d pay for a hairy down there. [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This chaotic episode features Homie Helpline caller Roberto making the ultimate play for his sister-in-law after his wife tells him to call it quits, cementing his reputation as a "little cheater" and a master of close proximities. Meanwhile, the crew dishes on Kylie Jenner's 10-year anniversary collection, gives Baby Bash his flowers (OG Kush preferred), and celebrates when Alexis Ohanian serves up an ice-cold clocking to sports commentator Stephen A. Smith. [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week, the Homie Helpline hears from Marissa, whose husband is so distracted following half-naked IG models that she’s not getting "serviced," prompting a hilarious, but questionable, suggestion that they should turn his online content onto the big screen for couple's time. Plus, we question the sanity of Tyra Banks' "Hot Mama" hot ice cream, try to figure out which outrageous comments were Meek Mill’s and which were "Make Believe," and discuss the surprising new trend of "Stay-at-Home Sons". [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week, the Homie Helpline dives deep into a chaotic situation as Roberto debates blowing up his marriage and multiple families for his sister-in-law, leading the hosts to wonder if a "partner swap" is really worth all that collateral damage. Plus, the crew runs through all the biggest hip-hop beefs, including Drake’s dismissed lawsuit and a breakdown of Bia's Cardi B disses, alongside celebrating Jose's Salvadorian heritage and checking out some seriously strange AI remixes turning Nelly's "Hot in Here" into an oldies track.[Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Brown Bag crew tackles a difficult 'Homie Helpline' dilemma from Gilbert, a 32-year-old who hasn't seen his father since he was months old, but now must decide whether to let the estranged dad back into his life solely for his three-year-old daughter to have a grandpa. We deliver some hard truths and hilarious advice—including a suggestion to switch discount warehouse memberships to avoid awkward run-ins. Plus, we cover the high drama of a superfan suing LeBron James for $856 after the highly anticipated "Decision 2.0" turned out to be nothing more than a boozy Hennessy commercial. [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We dive deep into the Homie Helpline drama where Eddie is boiling mad because the "bubbly personality" he loves in his non-exclusive girl, Bubbles, also makes her "laughy taffy" with random dudes at the bar. The crew also debates the new Uber partnership moving into the air with all-electric air taxis (aka "Uber heli"), considering whether the $195 trip is worth the potentially "weird" new pilots.[Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Vic faces true betrayal when his 11-year-old son rejects the Raiders for the Dallas Cowboys, only to have his heart further broken by LeBron James, whose much-hyped "Second Decision" turned out to be a disappointing attempt to sell liquor.... Meanwhile, the crew reviews the shocking revelation that a popular celebrity shoe store was busted not for fakes, but for half a million dollars worth of stolen Nike goods![Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This Monday morning, we tackle the toughest ethical battle of the week: bro code vs. girl’s girl code, as a conflicted friend seeks advice on whether she should ruin her party circle by revealing that her acquaintance’s boyfriend, Francois, is "just out there giving it up". We also lament the city's decision to increase LA parking meter rates by 50% and debate if the sneakers that fell apart on Kai Cenat were indeed genuine Yeezys—or perhaps just "Peezys".[Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode gets spooky fast as we tackle a terrifying Homie Helpline submission about a roommate who whispers, smells like the disappeared ex-roommate Carol, and collects hair from the shower—leading some to suspect she’s not a witch, she’s just an actress trying to secure those lease deposits. We also try not to be bad Catholics while discussing Our Lady of Leche, lament the profit loss that cost the Creepy King his crown, determine if Mary Lisa's intimacy requests make her the "Simp of the Week", and decide if the Instagram CEO is gaslighting us about the mics listening in.[Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The crew addresses a difficult Homie Helpline query from Tina, whose husband, a plumber, refuses to wear his wedding ring, making her question if he wants to appear single or if he's avoiding the ring ending up down the drain.... This episode also covers why Matthew McConaughey ceased speaking to his mother for eight years due to her being a "chismosa" and sharing their private conversations with the news, alongside the results of the guys' 30-second push-up contest and the affordability of Ulta birthday parties for tweens. [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s officially spooky season, but nothing is scarier than Natalie’s love triangle between the Baby Daddy and the too-nice $500 Man who lets her "get away with everything"...; plus, we dive into Young Thug's appearance as the Simp-Nominee after his breakup drama and unpack Lionel Richie’s alleged secret about why Michael Jackson was constantly wearing clothes that had a "smooth smell". [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Homie Helpline is heating up when a listener catches her grandpa kissing a señora at the market, leading the crew to hilariously debate whether she should snitch, accept her dad's "mind your business" advice, or leverage the situation for a new car via extortion. Plus, the crew tackles the shock of a 40-40 Cowboys/Packers tie, unpacks the beef between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj/Ice Spice, and asks the most important question of the day: Is Brad Pitt a Simp or Pimp for possibly trying to rekindle things with Jennifer Aniston. [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our listeners called the Homie Help-Line to advise a caller on whether she should be a "petty Nancy" and demand more than the $2,000 her cheating husband took by claiming her on his taxes, while we unpack Cardi B's anxiety that her album title, "Am I the Drama," is attracting bad karma and dark energy during her pregnancy. Tune in as we also celebrate Bad Bunny headlining Super Bowl 60 and discuss new legal frameworks that allow 14-year-olds to sue their parents over published childhood photos—remember, the more brown bag, the better! [Edited by @iamdyre]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Brown Bag Mornings crew jumps into chaos this week, debating Tito’s desperate "Homie Helpline" dilemma after his brother-in-law needed an ER ride because "Something is stuck in my body". Tune in as they crown Mariah the Scientist the 'Simp of the Week', argue whether viral "pirate pits" are disgusting or sexy, and reflect on the "really, really sad" new album from Young Thug, UY SCUTI. - Edited by @iamdyreSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode, the Brown Bag Mornings crew debates the terrifying future of dating where AI assistants play matchmaker and whether using ChatGPT to pick lottery numbers is the ultimate money move.... Plus, they analyze Ray J's viral claim that he's cooperating with authorities to "drop a Rico" on Kim Kardashian and offer advice to a single mom whose son's imaginary vampire friend, Chunga, is running the house with strict demands for Mexican rice.- Edited by @iamdyreSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The "Homie Help Line" is open, debating if caller Claudia is getting strung along after her man bought the engagement ring two years ago, before the crew dukes it out over NBA legend Paul Pierce's controversial advice to spend only $20 on a first date. Later, the squad dominates the "Latinos" category on Jeopardy!, struggles to keep up with essential California slang like 'Sabow' and the dreaded 'Phantom tax', and pays homage to legendary goalie Memo Ochoa. - Edited by @iamdyreSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is centered around a packed "Homie Help Line" segment, in which a 22-year-old listener seeks advice after he cheated on his new girlfriend with his ex of five years, resulting in six hickeys and subsequent guilt-induced ghosting. Additionally, the hosts dive into pop culture, debating if a reality TV star's elaborate floral proposal is "Simp or Pimp", breaking down the massive weight mismatch in the upcoming Gervonta "Tank" Davis vs. Jake Paul exhibition fight, and discussing the surprising musical collaboration between long-time mortal enemies Young Thug and YFN Lucci. |Edited by @iamdyreSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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