Brown Bag Mornings

Today's Homie Helpline is messy- with a foo who's trying to choose between his girl and the Superclásico. And whether it’s ASAP Rocky’s mom playing matchmaker or Clayton Kershaw lying about retirement, this episode proves that mothers—and "studious fools"—always know best. [Edited by @iamdyre

Navigating Mike’s relationship is like trying to play catch on an LA sidewalk before the law was repealed; it’s a "silly little" mess that could end up costing you $1,000 or six months in jail just for trying to have a little fun outside. Between LeBron James acting like a "dramatico" by quoting Jay-Z and the squad discovering that making your bed makes you 206% more likely to be a millionaire, this episode is a masterclass in "studious fool" logic. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew tackles a messy Homie Helpline after Jasmine’s in-laws gifted the adults Adidas joggers and Disney sweaters but completely ignored her 11-year-old son, leading the squad to debate if kids with "silver teeth" or a lack of blood relation are to blame for the holiday snub. The comedy stays high as the "studious fools" react to the Hollywood Walk of Fame being voted LA's worst attraction—where Spider-Man might just shank you—and investigate a mysterious 140-year-long YouTube video that allegedly hacks your computer. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew navigates an interesting Homie Helpline where they debate if Damian should cut off his friend Junior for staying "ride or die" with Damian’s tattoo artist ex-girlfriend and posting videos of her "backing it up" at events. The comedy stays high as the "studious fools" roast the "glizzy goblins" who are grilling hot dogs inside plastic packaging for "extra flavor" and investigate why Michael Jordan once threatened to trade his teammates for laughing at his old-man dancing. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew navigates a legendary Homie Helpline where they try to determine if Jack is actually "vibing" with his therapist or if he’s just falling for a "mental stripper" who is literally paid to listen to his problems. The comedy stays high as the squad reacts to a viral youth hockey brawl where 10-year-olds were throwing "haymakers" like NHL pros and investigates why the "Pentagon of the Sky" was circling LAX. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew navigates a legendary Homie Helpline as they debate if Vanessa should "stay toxic" and pass off her "revenge baby"—conceived with her ex's first cousin—as her baby daddy’s own child before the "cousin-brother" is born. The comedy keeps going as the squad roasts a 79-year-old millionaire’s insane checklist for a wife, which includes a helicopter license, a ban on Scorpios, and a strict "no Irish or Scottish" policy. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew navigates a chaotic Homie Helpline where a day-one homie is going broke dating "nicest scammers" from the strip club, leading the squad to debate whether he should "let go and let God" or just find a more budget-friendly local spot. The comedy continues as the "studious fools" break down research claiming that while men pass gas more often, women’s farts pack a way nastier punch due to a higher concentration of hydrogen sulfide. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew dives into a chaotic Homie Helpline to decide if Maya should fess up to her "bestie with benefits" about getting ghosted by her ex, Randy, after she tried to wish him a happy birthday. The "studious fools" also explore the high seas to discuss a scientific study where antisocial octopuses suddenly want to hug each other after being dosed with ecstasy. [Edited by @iamdyre

On this Homie Helpline, the squad grills a "slick" older brother who acted like a holiday hero using $1,000 of his sibling's money to buy favor with his nephews. To keep the vibes high, the team roasts victims of "AI slop" who ordered majestic stained-glass lamps but received terrifying marker drawings of Yorkies that look like "cool robots" and discuss a wild Pokémon heist that took place. [Edited by @iamdyre

Luis calls the Homie Helpline to ask if he should "spin the block" on a 29-year-old "firecracker" who claims her 3 a.m. texts were just for Fortnite and who allegedly loves his "soft hair and Jackie Chan hands". The squad also puts the Petty Police on high alert after reports that the President of Venezuela was captured in a Nike Tech fleece because he was publicly dancing too much like Donald Trump. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Brown Bag crew celebrates the end of 2025 by recapping their most chaotic highlights, ranging from Mariah Carey’s viral "Bonnie and Clyde" stories about Tupac to the bizarre "Italian brain rot" taking over the internet. The comedy peaks during a high-stakes Homie Helpline where they debate if a girlfriend should pay to fix the car she keyed during a breakup, followed by the crew roasting Vic for his "one-year tattoo" and Angie for her bread-induced constipation. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Brown Bag crew celebrates the end of the year by recapping their wildest highlights, ranging from Letty's prestigious media award to Concrete's near-death experience choking on a rookie-year icebreaker. The comedy peaks as the hosts debate the "flagrant foul" of putting sour cream on tamales, roast Vic for his one-year anniversary tattoo, and hear a shocking Homie Helpline update from Roberto, who finally called it quits with both his wife and her sister. [Edited by @iamdyre

Lo returns to the Homie Helpline for a wild update, explaining how a night of San Pedro shrimp and "drinks on the rocks" led to him getting "vampire marks" from his ex and ghosting a new girl he was supposed to take to church. The squad also roasts Vic after his girlfriend racked up a $100 bill on just kimchi and ramen at a Korean BBQ spot, sparking a heated debate on whether she’s secretly pregnant or if Vic just got "bamboozled". [Edited by @iamdyre ⭐]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The crew tackles a high-stakes Homie Helpline where they debate if a homie should break up with his girl during their anniversary beach trip, eventually suggesting a "firing protocol" that involves parking unmarked cars and making a clean getaway. The comedy continues as the squad gets into a heated argument over whether putting sour cream on tamales is a culinary masterpiece or a "flagrant foul," all while roasting Greg for being a "gentleman of the night" for a woman who already has a boyfriend. [Edited by @iamdyre

On today's episode the crew celebrates Concrete's birthday and has an amazing sit down with Snow Tha Product! [Edited by @iamdyre ❄️]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode is like a Christmas piñata: it starts with some heavy, heartfelt hits that might bring a tear to your eye, but it eventually breaks open into a chaotic explosion of sweets, laughter, and high-energy debates about things like "live, laugh, love" signs and thongs at Spongebob premieres. [Edited by @iamdyre

Federico calls the Homie Helpline furious because he introduced his work crush—who had previously given him a "boo basket"—to his friend, only for the friend to immediately swoop in and steal her away because Federico never shot his shot, leaving him feeling like he brought his own replacement. Meanwhile, the hosts freak out over the bizarre news that the brother of LA Rams star Puka Nacua was arrested for allegedly stealing a Lakers rookie's SUV and being dumb enough to valet it. [Edited by @iamdyre

Hector checks in with the Homie Helpline after cutting off the ICE agent he was dating for six months because his undocumented parents did not approve, leading to the devastating realization that he "wasn't the first one to leave her" for that reason,. Additionally, the crew dives into the international chaos stirred up by a British baker living in Mexico who created a culinary controversy by dismissing the country's rich bread tradition and calling their beloved bolillo "ugly rolls",. [Edited by @iamdyre

Caller Daisy is losing it after she found her boyfriend's ChatGPT history included "Reasons to cheat," forcing the crew to debate if she should apologize for turning up on him or trust her man who claims it was just a joke with the homies. Plus, the hosts dive into the bizarre story of how Jim Carrey almost quit playing the Grinch due to panic attacks caused by the lengthy makeup process, which required the studio to hire a CIA operative trainer to teach him how to endure torture. [Edited by @iamdyre

This week, we try to untangle the mess when Lizzy's man wants to take their four-month-old to see the grandma who threatened to "throw hands" while Lizzy was holding the newborn. Then, we hear confessions during the 'Naughty Forgiveness' segment, where one adorable nine-year-old admits to stealing money just to fund her serious Panda Express addiction. [Edited by @iamdyre

Our guy Miguel needs serious help on the Homie Helpline after revealing he knocked up his 40-year-old mom's best friend, Miss Veronica, leaving him stressing about breaking the news to Mom, who desperately wanted a grandchild. Plus, Greg shares the wild details of his very first deep tissue massage, which turned into a horrifying realization that he was getting unexpected work done on his booty. [Edited by @iamdyre

Hector calls the Homie Helpline in sheer panic after his beautiful girlfriend of six months confessed she is an ICE agent the moment he tried to make things official, leaving him to figure out how to introduce "the enemy" to his undocumented parents. The hosts also roast the teacher who nervously responded to Khloe Kardashian's flirtatious comment and try to understand why Gelo Ball regretted marrying his side chick over an intense argument about moving to Porter Ranch. [Edited by @iamdyre

Christina calls into the Homie Helpline begging for advice on winning back her baby daddy, G, only to hear him and his mother air out their messy 10-year relationship and confirm that G has officially downgraded her to "side piece" status. Meanwhile, the crew dives into the latest hip-hop drama where Ja Rule attempts the "lawsuit angle" after 50 Cent reposts an interview clip alleging Ja Rule and Diddy were seen exiting a room completely nude. [Edited by @iamdyre (side chick free)]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Homie Helpline is extra juicy this week as Jazelle seeks advice after being disinvited from her bestie’s Christmas party because the cousin gives her "weird vibes," leading to a full-blown conspiracy theory about her man's past. The crew also investigates why In-N-Out is being a total buzzkill by completely removing the infamous order number 67 from their system. [Edited by @iamdyre

This week, we dive into the Homie Helpline to counsel a guy whose 'glow up' has him ready to trade in his loyal wife for a chance at finding an Instagram 'test drive'. Meanwhile, the crew debates whether getting a "fade" haircut makes you officially unprofessional if you’ve somehow managed to hit the big 3-0, according to one viral real estate agent. [Edited by @iamdyre

Julio is turning Christmas into a combat sport after drawing his despised beer pong rival—a "lame" baby daddy he fought three years ago—for Secret Santa, forcing the Brown Bag crew to debate whether he should stand on business or finally squash the beef. Additionally, the 'Naughty List' segment exposes the true monsters of the holiday season: parents who leave folded laundry on the floor for the dog to lay on and mothers who refuse to allow hot Cheetos for breakfast. [Edited by @iamdyre

Felix calls the Homie Helpline seeking advice about leaving his wife after a big fight, but the Mandita Machine quickly questions the credibility of his story—specifically, the suspiciously brief, two-hour round trip drive for "one beer" with his friend to "decompress" at 3 A.M.. Meanwhile, the crew gives a dire warning: shredded cheese bought at major retailers like Target and Walmart is currently being recalled because it contains potential pieces of metal, meaning listeners should "toss it" if they still have a bag. [Edited by @iamdyre

Rachel calls the Homie Helpline feeling majorly slighted and self-conscious after her sister removed their matching Harley-Davidson memorial tattoo—honoring their late father who loved to ride—because her new "red flag boyfriend" thought it was "tacky and ghetto". Then, things get really weird as the crew discusses the explosive Diddy documentary allegations, including a male escort's claim that Diddy hosted annual "freakoffs" on the anniversary of Biggie’s death and allegedly collected bodily fluids. [Edited by @iamdyre

The 'Homie Helpline' tackles Joe's moral dilemma after his girlfriend, dealing with serious health issues, gives him a full-on hall pass, leading to chaotic advice about finding a "gold standard lady of the night". Meanwhile, the crew opens up the naughty list nominations, featuring a dad who uses the threat of no presents to procure necessary foot massages from his daughter because his feet are apparently "really bad". [Edited by @iamdyre

Evelyn calls the Homie Helpline after trying to get a Real ID revealed her man's identity crisis: he discovered his birth certificate lists his father as Juan Martinez from Mexico, meaning he is only Mexican and not full Salvi as he thought. Meanwhile, the hosts are divided over the US transportation secretary's viral call to "ditch the pajama pants and slippers" while traveling, with some fiercely defending their right to be comfy and others calling the casual airport look "fongo behavior" [Edited by @iamdyre

This episode begins by highlighting the 10-year tradition of the viral Thanksgiving gathering between Wanda Dench and Jamal Hil Hinton, which originated from a text message sent to the wrong number. The main discussion revolves around a listener's dilemma asking if it is fair to request that his girlfriend pay for half the cost to fix his keyed car and replace his missing PlayStation—damage she inflicted when she initially caught him cheating—now that they have gotten back together. [Edited by @iamdyre

This Thanksgiving week special features a gut-busting eulogy for the perpetually bald-tired Nissan Ultima, honoring its screaming timing belt and drivers who were definite "red flags," followed by a collective horror reaction to the viral monstrosity known as the matcha turkey that resembles Shrek. The crew also help a listener navigate the treacherous waters of the "Homie Help Line," advising her about a "pretty close friend" who asked permission to date her "wonderful man" ex-husband, a level of betrayal the crew suspects has been plotting since the divorce. [Edited by @iamdyre

This episode discusses various Thanksgiving practices, ranging from non-traditional holiday meals, such as having only sides or seafood like crab and shrimp, to celebrity favorites like Tom Brady's grandma's biscuits, and the happiness associated with decorating for Christmas as early as November 1st. The main segments feature an emotional listener's dilemma about his girlfriend, who volunteers extensively cleaning and folding clothes but won't clean their shared ADU unless she gets a ring, alongside a powerful announcement detailing the Neighborhood Nip Foundation and Think Watts Foundation's first annual turkey drive, where they plan to give away 5,000 turkeys. [Edited by @iamdyre

This Friendsgiving Friday, the crew tackles a messy Homie Helpline advice request from Lai, whose overbearing dad is pocket watching, bullying, and making a weird offer to her fiancé after a car repossession, prompting one host to exclaim: "Your dad's going to heaven, Conto". The show also dives into the drama surrounding the Bus family firings and the wild rumors that 49-year-old Ja Rule was recently jumped in New York, allegedly involving Max B's crew. [Edited by @iamdyre

This episode gets heavy on the "Homie Helpline" as Paulina grapples with the devastating choice between staying with her boyfriend, Raul, who no longer wants children, and sacrificing her dream of being a mother after suffering a loss. The crew attempts to balance the seriousness with chaotic antics, including a stomach-churning "Thumpkin Thursday" pumpkin shake challenge that tasted "exactly like throw up" and a heated debate over celebrity relationships with fans, especially Doja Cat calling her supporters "little ants". [Edited by @iamdyre

We tackle Jacob's terrifying dilemma: his "toxica" wife is making deportation jokes and demanding gifts if he wants her signature on his mom's green card application, a situation so bad that a self-proclaimed "toxic" caller tells the wife she needs to "tone down the toxica". Plus, we cover the massive opportunity for a lucky eater to become a $2,000 Las Vegas Thanksgiving buffet judge and celebrate the genius bride who walked down the aisle to the "Thong Song" played beautifully on a harp by Siren Gliss. [Edited by @iamdyre

It’s Turkey Trot Tuesday, and the fam is fighting through the pain of mashed potato fallout ("It went in as mashed potatoes came out as gravy") while poor Victor recovers from the shortest 5K ever, having lost massive bets that cost him his son's fandom and forced him into a Cowboys jersey. The 'Homie Helpline' segment tackles a holiday nightmare when a new half-sister wants to crash Thanksgiving, forcing the hosts to debate whether the truth should "come out over the turkey" or if it’s too disrespectful to the family. [Edited by @iamdyre

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The Homie Helpline delivers a piping hot cup of abuelita chocolate as April’s tia betrays her whole family by going back to the foo who cheated, faked his death, and gave her "an itch she couldn't scratch off"! Meanwhile, the Brown Bag crew debates if Klay Thompson’s poor NBA performance is truly due to his relationship with Meg the Stallion—who was referred to as a "kitty cat" by former NBA players—and they react to Ray J’s explosive counter-suit alleging the Kardashians faked tape drama for ratings. [Edited by @iamdyre

One husband, Eddie, calls the Homie Helpline seeking help to win back his wife after his 12-year relationship blew up due to him seeking attention and validation from girls on Instagram. Meanwhile, the crew discusses why the iconic voice of Morgan Freeman is threatening legal action against anyone using AI to mimic his voice for low-budget content, stating, "I don't appreciate it" and is feeling robbed of opportunities. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline tackles a chaotic call from a new mom struggling with her "Suegra" (mother-in-law) who is engaging in secret, skin-to-skin bonding with the baby while wearing a "granny bra," leading the mom to worry about boundary issues and feeling totally replaced. Adding insult to injury, the crew judges California for having the most mispronounced "word" being a name (Kali Uchis), while also celebrating the fact that Christmas trees are tariff-free and announcing the huge giveaway of 106 free Tamal kits for the holidays. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Brown Bag crew tackles a huge holiday crisis on the Homie Helpline, where a single dad is threatening to cancel Thanksgiving and Christmas because his 22-year-old daughter borrowed $2,000 for parking tickets and tags and still hasn't paid him back. You'll want to listen carefully as the team also reviews the dramatic and suspicious audio from Vic's viral "ringer dinger" chiropractor visit, discusses Kim Kardashian blaming psychics for failing her bar exam, and celebrates the saga of the woman who managed to make it across the Mexico border in a stolen car. [Edited by @iamdyre

The "Homie Helpline" takes on heart-wrenching (and infuriating) family drama as Miriam seeks advice on how to retrieve her grandpa's promised car and sentimental items from his controlling new wife, who cruelly told her she'll "get over losing a grandpa". Plus, the crew debates why Target is implementing a creepy new initiative that requires staff to look you dead in the eye and smile from 10 feet away, potentially ruining everyone's human-interaction-free shopping experience. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline goes deep into anxiety and technology when Katie asks if she should allow her cheating baby daddy to claim the child conceived during a "POP"-less rendezvous with a married man, fearing that future DNA tests will expose the years-long lie. This chaotic situation inspires listeners to call in and share how Ancestry.com and other tests have already revealed that their own family secrets and paternity questions came to light, often imploding their entire family structure. The crew also discusses major pop culture disappointment as Daddy Yankee suggests he would skip performing the iconic "Gasolina" at the Super Bowl, preferring to promote his new spiritual music to "send a message". [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline features Joey, who is struggling with immense guilt over potentially missing Christmas for an anniversary trip, as his family reminds him of his sick mother. Then, the crew debates if two years of probation is worse than 20 days behind bars and unpacks the wild news that the classic Matrix code is allegedly based entirely on sushi recipes. [Edited by @iamdyre

Tune in to the Homie Helpline where Aaron is agonizing over whether to block his "hater homie" Jason—who went sour after losing his girl and whip—or try to save their 16-year friendship, even though Jason publicly clowned his skills. The hosts also break down the confusing Electoral College using analogies involving the World Series, buying bottle service sections at the club, and throwing a chaotic pizza party. [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline catches up with Tony, a 27-year-old who admitted to making jokes out of everything, including purposely leaving his shoes out to annoy his now ex-girlfriend, but he plans to join the Marines to prove he's finally a man. Plus, the crew tallies the results of the hilariously divisive Brown Bag Election! [Edited by @iamdyre

The Homie Helpline is on fire as Carlos seeks advice on his "anger rights" after his fiancée's stepdaughter asks her mom to be the madrina alongside her ex-husband padrino for a baby baptism, sparking debate over whether he should confront the entire family. We also celebrate the Dodgers' improbable World Series victory against the Blue Jays with reports from the massive parade in Downtown LA (where fans are getting fired for attendance!) while also trolling Drake for talking trash only to see his team lose, and breaking down celebrity breakups and Halloween drama. [Edited by @iamdyre ⚾]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The crew tackles a relationship crisis on the Homie Helpline when Savannah discovers her Christian boyfriend plans to ditch her for a Halloween party hosted by a "lesbian coworker," leading the guys to jokingly advise she should "let him cheat in peace" or just give him a "ring camera around his neck" as a costume. Plus, Alfred Robles delivers a big announcement, Vic reveals his truly bizarre Billy Ray Cyrus costume, and renowned medium AJ Barrera joins the show to connect with spirits and even instructs a caller to fix a bathroom leak. [Edited by @iamdyre

The crew dives deep into the Homie Helpline to figure out if Pedro's Tia is protecting him from bad vibes or if the cold spots in the house mean he’s a ghost who doesn’t realize he’s dead. We also break down the confusing word of the year, "67," which apparently can mean anything from "mid" to a chemically relevant insult found on the periodic table. [Edited by @iamdyre ⚰️]See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Homie Helpline is swinging into chaos as a father tries to decide whether to participate in the Spider-Man meme costume with his 8-year-old son and his "skinny and single" baby mama, risking an unhappy wife who believes the ex is trying to "catch that web again". Later, the laughter continues when DJ Greg C reveals Concrete’s shocking 2016 past as an LA rapper named "Beretta" (a.k.a. "The Mexican Game") during Wicked Wednesday, and the crew tackles major topics like J. Cole’s $500k lawsuit over a handshake deal and China’s new law requiring certified podcasters. [Edited by @iamdyre