Subversive Cinema

A story about love, snakes, fire, and questionable police work. Listen in as me and my guest, Dan, drill down into the nitty gritty of this straight-to-VHS classic. Directed by Anson Williams (Potsie Weber in Happy Days) and written by Barry Sandler (a few things you've probably never heard of), All-American Murder follows Artie Logan as he tries the navigate life at a new college campus. Throw into the mix a sudden fling with the Dean's wife, questionable love-at-first-sight with campus queen Tally Fuller, and it would seem that Artie isn't making the best choices. When a fiery murder sets campus and police tensions ablaze (pun intended), Artie decides the only person who can crack the case is none other than... himself. Yep. Oh, and it features Christopher Walken at his best level of Walken while handling a hostage situation. This film is bananas and is available on Blu-ray. Hear about it here then get the film and see it for yourself. You will not regret it.

A story about a doctor, his lovely Three-Dog, a dream, and the wonders of modern medicine. Listen in as me and my guest, Chris, dive into the dirty details of this polarizing work of modern-day horror. Written and directed by Tom Six (Human Centipede I, II, & III), the first entry into the Centipede triptych follows Jenny and Lindsay as they holiday in an unspecified area of Germany only to find themselves stranded in the woods on their way to a club. Enter Dr. Heiter, a dude with an O.R. in his basement and some pretty f*cked up ideas. Dr. Heiter "saves" the girls from a rainy night only for them to find themselves strapped to gurneys in his basement ready to be sewn ass-to-mouth to each other and a truck driver. Yeah. It's like that. The fun and adventure only get crazier from there! This film is equally horrific and gross, but nothing compared to its sequel (discussed later in this season). Find the trilogy on Blu-ray and see for yourself why people either love or utterly hate this film.

A story about love, cheese puffs, toe-free appetizers, and a talking cat (of course). Listen in as me and my guest, Kelly, meow about this breezy and silly film. Directed by David DeCoteau (Working Girls, Boys Just Wanna Have Sex, and Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge) under the pseudonym of Mary Crawford, and written by Andrew Helm (The Great Halloween Puppy Adventure, Santa's Summer House, and Death Racers -- starring I.C.P.), this film tells the whimsical story of Duffy the talking cat, voiced by the incomparable Eric Roberts, and how he touches the lives of two families in need of connection. In one house we have über-rich Phil and his socially weird son Chris. In another we have Susan, one of the worst caterers in history, with her kids Tina and Trent. Duffy works his magic and brings love and companionship to these families as well as pushes them to follow their dreams... all while being able to talk to each person only once. This film was helmed by director with a history of making softcore porn and boy, does it show in the camera work, staging, and performances. Easily one of the most hysterically agonizing selections and pretty much the only family-friendly offering this season. Listen to this NSFW episode with grownups, then share the magic of A Talking Cat !?! with the family! Available on streaming and on DVD.

A story about family, sobriety, redemption, and porn. Okay, it's actually a lot more f*cked up than that. ***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED*** Listen in as me and my guest, Devon, talk through what he called "the most horrific thing [he's] seen." Directed by Srdjan Spasojevic (The ABCs of Death) and written by Spasojevic and Aleksandar Radivojevic (short films and Serbian projects), this film has been heralded by many as one of, if not the, most disturbing and messed up films ever made. It follows the once great porn star Milos who has since retired to spend time with his family and Jack Daniels. He is approached by an "art house" porn director named Vukmir to do one last film for an absurd amount of money. He takes the job only to find that the film will be made live with him learning the story as he goes. When he finds he has been drugged and wakes up bloody, days later, and his family is missing, Milos tries to retrace his steps by following a demented breadcrumb trail of video tapes. What he finds will change his life, and possibly yours, forever. Definitely not for the faint of heart, this maligned work from 2010 still has the power to elicit shudders and strong opinions from those who have seen it -- whether they liked it or hated it. **Again, proceed with caution with this episode as we discuss difficult subject matter that occurs in the film.** For the brave and the curious the film is available on Blu-ray and DVD.

A story about love, poppers, herpes, and assholes. Listen in as me and my guest, Al (a fellow podcaster to boot), talk through this filthy little indie gem. Written and directed by first-time-helmer Peter Vack (Mozart in the Jungle, Consent, PVT Chat), The Hollywood Reporter said the film "doesn't just push the envelope in terms of offensive and disgusting content, it folds it neatly and uses it for toilet paper." I say it's damn insane, hilarious, gross, and features one of the bravest adlibbed sequences I've ever seen in a film. It tells the story of recovering addict Adah (played by the director's sister, Betsey Brown) and her burgeoning relationship with Aaron, played by fearless Jack Dunphy, who also happens to be an addict in recovery. Adah's dick of a brother, Adam (Peter Vack), taunts her with weed and sibling annoyingness and sets her back down the road of addiction. As she spirals out, Aaron comes along for the ride and the two become a lustful and spun out couple who find comfort in poppers and each other's anuses. Before long the couple go from acting like assholes to becoming the titular assholes. Oh, and there is a shit-demon in the mix too. So, yeah... Fun times! The film is currently available on Amazon Prime and DVD. Check out Al's podcast, https://www.belowthebeltshow.com/#listen (The Below the Belt Show), to get all the latest in Hollywood and entertainment news. And you just might hear my sweet, sweet voice on that show every once in a while too.

A story about filth, eggs, cannibalism, and a singing anus. Listen in as me and my guest, Mike, talk through this seminal independent film from Charm City. Written, directed, filmed, edited, and narrated by Baltimore's transgressive maestro of trash cinema, John Waters (Multiple Maniacs, Female Trouble, Serial Mom, Pecker), this film has been heralded as "a delightfully repugnant cinematic treasure" (CineVue) and as "the quintessential American Family Film" (Austin Chronicle). I tend to agree with Entertainment Weekly in that it's "subversive and, in its gross way, quite spectacular." It tells the story of Baltimore criminal, Divine (played by Waters' ingénue Divine), and her escalating feud against Raymond and Connie Marble (David Lochary and Mink Stole) for the title of "Filthiest Person Alive." We are taken into the trailer home world of Divine, her mother Edie who is kept in a playpen, her chicken-loving son Crackers, and a litany of colorful supporting characters. It is from this faux wood and vinyl castle that Divine plots her nastiness against the Marbles and where they throw a popper-fueled rager featuring a cannibal cookout and an extra with a singing butthole. This flick is wonderfully debauched and just as likely to shock and astound audiences now as it did nearly 50 years ago. Talk about holding up against the millstone of time. The film is more widely available in its 25th anniversary format on DVD and VHS. Yes, I said VHS.

A story about family, the end of the world, tears of neglected children, and utter confusion. Listen in as me and my returning guest, Dan, discuss through this indecipherable piece of performance art. Written by Vernon Chatman (South Park, The Heart, She Holler, and Wonder Showzen) and directed by 4 independent custom porn studios, this is not your run-of-the-mill indie film. It is a nonsensical menagerie of insanity and face-melting allegory. Rob Daniel of Electric Shadows said "if David Lynch, Christopher Morris and Lars von Trier teamed up and brought Ben Dover on as artistic consultant, Final Flesh would be the result," and he's pretty on the money. It tells the story of the Pollard family as they wait for an atomic bomb to drop. The father, mother, and daughter discuss life, death, capitalism, and a host of other weird shit all while in various states of undress. This art piece film was made when Vernon Chatman sent out four sections of the script to four different porn-for-hire production companies. Each working diligently (some more so than others) to bring this particular client's "kink" to life on digital video. What resulted was a 71 minute fever dream of strange dialogue, hey-at-least-they-tried acting, and various efforts to shoehorn in nudity and sexual moments when the script called for zero sex. Dan despised me for having him watch this, but I don't buy it. He seemed to laugh at a lot of it all things considered. Sadly, the film is incredibly difficult to procure. It is only on DVD and has been out of print. You can find it on eBay for a couple hundred bucks, though I'm sure some enterprising listeners who don't mind shirking the law might find other ways to get a copy.

A story about family, addiction, missing children, and stuff up the butt. Listen in as me and my returning guest, Chris, talk through this intriguing, butt-centric, and well crafted indie-noir. Written and directed by Tyler Cornack (Tiny Cinema and The Pocketeers), The New York Times called the film a "hilariously bawdy, intermittently inspired act of vivacious vulgarity" and the Austin Chronicle said it was "a surprisingly tender bizarro comedy that works because it plays the strangeness straight." Both are absolutely right, but it's the latter that nails the reason why this film works so damn well. It tells the story of Chip Gutchell (played by director Cornack) who works a job where everyone in the office is disconcertingly bubbly, his wife is distant and might be having an affair, and he's a new father to boot. After visiting his doctor and receiving his first prostate exam, Chip discovers a thrill and escape from the monotony of his life: things feel good in his butt. From there he spirals down a hole (no pun intended) of addiction, gradually putting bigger things inside himself until to goes too far. Chip goes clean and stops his habit, and joins A.A. since there is no specific group for his particular addiction. Things are calm in his world until one day Detective Russel Fox (played exquisitely by Tyler Rice) joins the group to battle his own demons and to look into a missing persons case... This film is so well done and serious in its absurdity that it should be required viewing at every film school. The film is currently available on Amazon, IMDb TV, and Blu-ray.

A story about food, sex, vomit, and the socio-political history of Hungary. Listen in as me and my guest, Jan-David, talk through this delightfully strange and critically acclaimed foreign film. Written and directed by György Pálfi (His Master's Voice, Free Fall, Hukkle), the Los Angeles Times called it a "grotesquely bizarre allegory on life in Hungary" and Film Threat said it was "a devious little nightmare." All are correct, but there is more to this Hungarian-Austrian-French cinematic collaboration than strange and freakish sights. Within there is a moving story about love, life, desire for acceptance, belonging, and dealing with the sins of the father -- you just need to look past the surprising amount of vomit and fire-breathing dicks to see it. It tells the story of three generations of men from World War II to present day, starting with the hapless and bullied soldier Morosgoványi Vendel, followed by competitive speed eater Balatony Kálmán, and finally his taxidermist son Balatony Lajoska. Follow as the lives of these men are equal parts guided by their choices, the socio-political climate of the times, and fate itself. What follows offers a glimpse into life from a small village home where leering eyes watch bathroom activities to living in the big city where the pressures of the past and present weigh heavier and heavier with each passing day. While not exactly graphic (until the final 15 minutes), this film does have some visuals that are as equally compelling as they are disturbing. This is European surrealism at it's finest, folks! The film is currently available on HereTV via Amazon Prime and DVD.

A story about sweat, garbage, terrible jokes, and a third arm. Listen in as me and my guest, Kenny, talk through this star-studded, greasy little oddball flick. Written and directed by Adam Rifkin (The Chase, Detroit Rock City, The Last Movie Star), this film has been lauded as a "pitch-black fable of show business at this sleaziest" by the Los Angeles Times, while also considered "a new low in cinematic ineptitude" by Rolling Stone. What is the truth? You'll have to watch and decide for yourself, but until then we take look at some of the more memorable and affecting elements of this film which has, in my mind, hands down THE best production design I've ever seen. You can just feel the oily condensation of the film's world. It tells the story of garbage man-by-day and amateur comedian-by-night Marty Malt, played by Judd Nelson, and his smarmy, fame-seeking buddy Gus, played by Bill Paxton with his typically awesome bravado. The two casually move trash around during the day, but when the sun sets Marty takes the stage and tells some truly awful jokes, with piss poor timing to boot. All while Gus yucks it up and howls his support. One day, hot shot agent Jackie Chrome (Wayne Mr. Goddamn Vegas himself Newton) offers to check out Marty's show which sets the two friends aflutter with excitement that their train has finally come in. Unfortunately things don't go quite as planned... But all is not lost, for shortly thereafter Marty wakes up to find a third arm growing inexplicably from his back. To Jackie Chrome THAT is a talent! Did we mention that this film also features Lara Flynn Boyle, James Can, and Rob Lowe? This movie is so delightfully weird that it cannot be missed. The film is currently available on DVD.

A story about a man down on his luck, a pedophile Santa Claus, a burning bus full of school children, and a shotgun. Listen in as me and my returning guest, Dan, talk through this hyper-violent and wickedly fun homage to grindhouse exploitation. Directed by Jason Eisener (The ABCs of Death, V/H/S/2) and written by John Davies (V/H/S/2), New York Magazine (Vulture) called the film an "unpretentious carnival of carnage" and the Globe and Mail said it was "a well-designed cinematic mess." I say that this film should be in the Library of Congress due to its deliciously juicy level of cartoonish violence. It tells the story of an unnamed Hobo (affectingly played by the late and great Rutger Hauer) who rides the rails into Hope Town, a once idillic hamlet that has since fallen under the control of psychopath extraordinaire The Drake and his douchebag demon sons Ivan and Slick (played respectively by Brian Downey, Nick Bateman, and Gregory Smith). Hobo tries to keep to himself as he witnesses a public execution, a pedophile Santa kidnapping children, a lowlife making a Bum Fights-style video, and various other nasty bits of business. After seeing Abby (Molly Dunsworth), a hooker with a heart of gold, get roughed up he intercedes which sets him on a path which finds him inexorably entangled with the scum of the city. With his trusty Remington 870 in hand the Hobo hero starts to dole out street justice one blast at a time. Dan may have been a bit shook by the rampant violence in this film, as many probably will be, but it really is rather comedic and entertaining with flashes of heart and sincerity. It's construction is pitch-perfect as it truly feels like it would hang with the best of the grindhouse sub-genre. The film is currently available on Magnolia Secrets via Amazon Prime, Crackle, and get it on Blu-ray.

A story about friendship, ninjas, Orlando, and chopping limbs off. Listen in as me and my guest, Sean, talk through this rediscovered piece of magic. Directed by Woo-sang Park under the pseudonym Richard Park (Kill the Ninja, L.A. Streetfighters, Gang Justice), and written by Joseph Diamand (The IBUR Connection) with story help from Park and Y.K. Kim, The A.V. Club accurately said the film has "a touching naïveté that gives it an odd distinction," while the Austin Chronicle blasphemed in calling it "a really bad, totally inept mess that reeks of more ambition than talent." You can tell whose side I'm on with this one. It tells the story of a group of college students/martial artists who make up the band Dragon Sound in central Florida as they try to navigate the daily pitfalls of higher education and mixing it up with the local drug lord. Led by Mark (played with enthusiasm by Y.K. Kim), the group find themselves pulled into a war zone with motorcycle ninjas led by the vicious Yashito at one end, and coke-head anger troll Jeff and his band of methed-out fighters at the other. Will Dragon Sound stop the cocaine trafficking in Florida? Will they ever play "Friends" or "Against the Ninja" again? Will they find their dads? Watch and find out! Best part is the soundtrack is on Apple iTunes! Get it, you won't regret it! The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, DVD, and a few other outlets.

A story about grease, a father and son, strange genitals, and... did I say grease? Listen in as me and my returning guest, Devon, talk through this hilariously greasy flick. The feature debut of British director Jim Hosking (An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn, ABCs of Death 2) and co-written by Hosking and Toby Harvard (ABCs of Death 2), The Playlist said the film was "utterly honest, to the point of purity," and We Got This Covered called it "a perverted fever dream." If that's the case, don't wake me up! I want to live in this left-footed, grease-loving world of bullshit artists and sham disco-themed walking tours. Wouldn't you? The film tells the story of father and son duo, Big Ronnie and Big Brayden, who operate a walking tour of disco history in a nondescript town. Business is alright, but the times are getting dangerous as a deviant serial killer stalks the streets at night, strangling victims and leaving puddles of grease as the only evidence. Things get competitive for the duo when they meet Janet, a congenial woman who ensnares the Brayden's heart... and Ronnie's enormous genitals. Chockfull of strange dialogue, gross visuals, excessive prosthetic nudity, and cartoonish violence, this celluloid daymare is certain to liven up any holiday party. The film is currently widely available on streaming and discs.

Art sits down to chat with Big Brayden himself, Sky Elobar! We discuss the making of the film, what it is like working with director Jim Hosking, how it is to have prosthetic genitals, and much more. Check out the conversation there, and learn more about Sky and his work at his IMDb page!

A story about the environment, survival, bloodthirsty birds, and terrible CGI. Listen in as me and my guest, Dave, talk through this film that makes you wonder what the hell you are watching. Written and directed by James Nguyen (Birdemic 2: The Resurrection, Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle, Julie and Jack), Variety called the film a "compendium of cinematic don'ts [which] gives it a goofy, almost surrealist charm." The Village Voice said the "actors perform so terribly that you can't even put a finger on what is wrong with these people?" Both are correct, but don't let that dissuade you from seeing this film. It is so utterly off-center one must see it to believe it. That said, we certainly try to crack its shell in this episode. It tells the story of software salesman extraordinaire Rod as he reconnects with an old schoolmate, Nathalie, who just happens to be a model on the rise. As the two grow closer together, quiet rumblings of mankind's gradual assault on the planet and its adverse effects are put more and more on display. From fast news reports to full on exposé level commentary, the emphasis on man's screwing the world grows front and center. And then the birds come. That's when shit gets real. Real ridiculous. Ever see a bunch of identical bald eagle dive bomb a city? You will. Ever see those same eagles float menacingly about people but not do harm? You will. Ever see those selfsame eagles also rip open throats when the plot calls for it? Oh... You will. Hitchcock ain't got nothin' on this, baby! The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, Fandor, and Tubi.

A story about the nuclear family, sadism, body horror, and inhalers. ***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED*** Listen in as me and returning guest & resident Human Centipede "expert", Chris, discuss this dry heave-inducing sequel. Written and directed by Tom Six (Human Centipede I, II, & III), the sophomore entry in Six's triad of repulsion currently holds a 17 out of 100 Metascore. Entertainment Weekly called the film "the sickest B movie ever made," while New York Magazine said it was "a sick joke taken to extremes." Love it or hate it, this film I definitely worth talking about, whether it be in abject disgust or demented glee. It tells the story of Martin, a parking garage attendant who lives with his loveless mother and his only friend, a pet centipede. He is obsessed with the film The Human Centipede and keeps a carefully crafted scrapbook in honor of his favorite story. After being pushed to the edge by his mother, his doctor, and seemingly the world, Martin sets out to make his own 12-person centipede. What follows is an audio/visual decent into filth, pain, and extremity. Not to mention a creative way to use sandpaper... The film is currently available on Amazon Prime and Blu-ray.

A story about drippy things, guts, corpses, and really, really weird sex. Listen in as me and my guest, my lovely wife Ashley, talk through this gooey horror rom-com. Directed by Jörg Buttgereit (Nekromantik 2, Lexx, Schramm, Green Frankenstein) and co-written by Buttgereit and Franz Rodenkirchen (Nekromantik 2, Schramm, The Death King), The Bloody Pit of Horror called the film "one of the sickest genre films widely available," while Last Movie Review on the Left said it was a "train wreck." Both are kinda right. It certainly isn't for everyone. It is not your traditional horror by any means, and for those looking to see gory whacked out films, this is certainly one, but its pacing and arthouse feel pull it from sitting squarely in the genre. It tells the story of Rob, a biological hazard clean up guy, who likes to collect bits and bobbles from the accident and murder scenes to which he tends. He lives with his girlfriend Betty who enjoys the occasional blood bath - it's great for the skin, you know. One day he brings home a corpse for them to play with and they have a wild threesome with the stiff (pun intended). Things seem great for them until Rob gets canned from his job for being generally weird and incompetent. Next thing he knows, Betty's gone and has taken their rotting third wheel with her. Rob then descends into a journey of depression and self-discovery that may or may not include more necrophilia, decapitation, and seppuku! Warning though, there is footage of an animal being killed. The film is currently available on DVD and Blu-ray on Amazon.

A story about health issues, the system, slugs, and exploding eyes. Listen in as me and my guest, writer and director Todd Norwood, talk through this slimy, crawly, and carnivorous film. Directed by Juan Piquer Simón (Pieces, The Rift, Cthulhu Mansion) and written by Ron Gantman (Slugs, Mystery on Monster Island), Video Graveyard called it "a flick so utterly ridiculous you have to see it at least once," and Bloody Disgusting said it was "so much stupid fun." Once again, the critics are correct and their common thread of approval is with the weird and off-kilter nature of this film. It tells the story of two government health and safety workers named Mike and Don, played with the fervor of summer stock actors by Michael Garfield and Philip MacHale respectively, who go about looking into a series of mysterious deaths. When it is discovered that giant man-eating slugs are to blame they team up with a scientist/lab technician named John Foley (played very British by Santiago Álvarez) to find a way to stop the murderous gastropods. Add in some strange music, batshit crazy dialogue, and puzzling acting choices and you got yourself a fine Saturday evening! The film is currently available on TubiTV.com and Blu-ray. Check out Todd's work at www.islandtimefilm.com!

Happy Thanksgiving! A story about a curse, friendship, Thanksgiving break, and a foul-mouthed turkey. Listen in as me and my returning guest, Devon, talk about how thankful we are for this piece of holiday-themed magic. Directed by first-time-helmer Jordan Downey (ThanksKilling 3, Critters: Bounty Hunter, The Head Hunter) and co-written by Downey and Kevin Stewart (ThanksKilling 3, The Head Hunter), Really Awful Movies said it was a "great film to watch with a group while...waiting for the effects of the tryptophan to wear off," and McBastard's Mausoleum called it "campy, childish and sometimes vile." This bit of digital video storytelling is a blood spattered hoot of a time and pairs perfectly with any large family gathering with children and the elderly. Trust me! It tells the story of a group of friends traveling home for Thanksgiving break from college. They stop to camp out under the stars and get drunk along the way, only to find themselves being hunted by a murderous, vulgar turkey. Hilarity ensues as the body count grows and organs find themselves separated from their owners. This is one time during Thanksgiving I'm happy to see this many giblets! The film is currently available on Amazon Prime.

A story about a house a geek, a hobo, a house, and a whole lot of psychosis. Listen in as me and my guest, Pete, talk through this strange mind trip of a film. Directed by two-time helmer Chris Walas (The Fly II & The Vagrant) and written by Richard Jefferies (14 Going on 30, Cold Creek Manor, Bloodtide), The Video Vacuum called it a "painfully unfunny black comedy," and Entertainment Weekly said it was a "moronic, ineptly directed bummer." Ouch. Look, it's not a good movie, but that's what you're here for, right? It is profoundly strange and uneven, and that makes for a fun watch - especially under the influence of your preferred substance. It tells the story of milquetoast businessman Graham Krakowski (played by the awesome Bill Paxton) as he buys a house that unbeknownst to him was a frequent haunt of a scarred and oozy vagrant (played sleazily by Marshall Bell). As Graham tries to rid himself of the vagrant he finds himself mixed up in a string of murders, excessive house makeovers, and eventually on the run from the police. Ever see Bill Paxton with a mullet? You will. The film is currently available on Amazon Prime and Blu-ray.

A story about green goo, bad stage makeup, goblins, and PISSING ON HOSPITALITY! Listen in as me and my returning guest, Dan, talk through this infamous accidental comedy. Written and directed by auteur Claudio Fragasso—tower of talent who as gone by the names Drake Floyd, Clyde Anderson, Werner Knox, and Claudio Sansevero—(Rats: Night of Terror, Scalps, Night Killer, Karate Man), The Chicago Reader said "the script is stupid, the acting is wooden, [and] the special effects are laughable," and Cinema Crazed called it "a piss poor awful movie and nothing more." Goddamn, critics! Back off this celebrated piece of American Italian (?) cinema! It tells the story of the Waits family who does a house swap with a strange family from a town Nilbog, where they can take the world's worst-sounding vacation living as farmers. Yippie. Only, once they arrive in the rural hamlet things get weird. The locals behave oddly, are obsessed with milk, and hate meat. All the while each of the family has their own hangups. Joshua, the young son, still sees visions of dead Grandpa Seth who warns him of impending doom. Holly, the teenage daughter, is hot and cold for her "boyfriend" and gets pissed when he drags along his buddies to her vacation. Mother, Diana, is always surprised. Father, Michael, just wants to have a good time with his family living off the land...and HOSPITALITY! Toss in some goblins and shit just gets golden. The film is currently available on Pluto TV, Tubi, Blu-ray, and DVD.

A story about one really angry German dude, strippers, photography, and a whole lot of fake blood. Listen in as me and returning guest Devon flounder as we try to find a reason why this film exists. Written and directed by Nick Palumbo (Nutbag, Murder-Set-Pieces), the Christian Science Monitor (yes, you read that correctly) called the film "an interesting effort to make the ultimate horror movie," while Variety, The New York Times, Village Voice, and New York Post basically called it garbage. What is the truth? Well... 4 out of 5 dentists can't be wrong, can they? It tells the story of a psychotic Photographer, played with cartoonish zest by Sven Garrett (Days of Our Lives, The Young and the Restless, Dances with Werewolves), as he trolls around Las Vegas picking up strippers and prostitutes for photo sessions that end in rape, torture, and murder. That's about it. Oh, he is dating a woman named Charlotte, played by Valerie Baber (Emmanuelle: The Private Collection), whose younger sister Jade discovers the murderous truth of the Photographer. Okay, that's really it. Lot's of nudity, not great acting, oodles of fake blood. The film is currently available on DVD in R-rated and Director's Cut versions.

A story about cyborg space Jesus, corruption, environmentalism, and sisters who go into prostitution way too quickly. Listen in as me and Richard, our resident specialist in Breenism, discuss the technique, philosophy, and confounding style of this enchanting indie film. Written, directed, produced, and edited by REALTOR®-cum-auteur Neil Breen (Double Down, I Am Here.... Now, Fateful Findings, Pass Thru, Twisted Pair), this film has been called "unfocused and confusing" by Chicken Dynasty, while Marc Fusion likened it to "mind melting cinema." Look, finding legitimate reviews of this film was tough. Considering Breen has been wowing the indie circuit for years I am surprised. You know what, just Google "Neil Breen." It tells the story of a cosmic cyborg-like Jesus figure who comes to Earth in a shitty paperweight. Of course he chooses to land in Las Vegas and immediately laments the downfall of his "project," our species... the human species. From there he steals clothes and truck from a junkie couple, cruises around the Vegas Strip, befriends a dying old man in a wheel chair, has some sort of relationship with an environmentalist turned escort, and literally wipes away corruption in the form of crooked lobbyists and politicians. This film is batshit. Neil stopped selling it solo on his website, but you can find it at https://dvdlady.com/dvd/i-am-here-now-2009-starring-neil-breen-on-dvd/ (dvdlady.com).

A story about the dangers of science, government coverups, random skinny dipping, and a big fucking Komodo dragon. Listen in as me and my guest, Joe, consider the finer points of gratuitous skinny dipping, huge Komodo scat, and infinite ammo. Directed by Jim Wynorski AKA Harold Blueberry AKA Sam Pepperman AKA Salvadore Ross AKA Jay Andrews (House on Hooter Hill, The Witches of Breastwick, The Hills Have Thighs), and written by Steve Latshaw (Planet Raptor, Megaconda, Invisible Dad), the Video Vacuum called the overall film "watchable, but inessential," while Dr. Gore's Movie Reviews said "the action scenes are tedious." Oy... What kinda movie did I pick? It tells the story of a band of thieves who find themselves stranded on a secret island populated by a small band of top secret researchers and one big ass Komodo dragon. As they join the scientists in a fight for survival, they find themselves battling Komodo-saliva-induced zombies and the US military. It's... definitely something. The film is currently available on IMDb TV, Tubi, and for rent or purchase on Amazon Prime Video. Check out Joe's podcast, That Was Disappointing..., here. Fine, fine... It's my podcast as well.

A story about revenge, nihilism, dizzying camera work, and notorious sequences. ***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED*** Listen in as me and my returning guest, Mike, talk through this polarizing work. Written and directed by Gaspar Noe (I Stand Alone, Into the Void, Love), Rolling Stone said the film was "artfully crafted" while the Wall Street Journal countered by calling it "almost literally unendurable." See? Polarizing. Told in reverse, it tells the story of a quest for revenge after Alex (portrayed by the incredible Monica Bellucci) is savagely raped and beaten. Her boyfriend Marcus (played by the fantastic Vincent Cassel) and her friend Pierre (Albert Dupontel) rush through some of the seedier side streets and back alleys of Paris in search of the vicious attacker, Le Tenia. The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, Tubi, Blu-ray, and DVD.

A story about 80's fashion, toxic relationships, peeing one's pants, and farts. Listen in as me and returning guest Dan take a pee-soaked, snot-strung stroll down memory lane with this horrific example of a "family film." Directed by Rod Amateau (Son of Hitler, Drive-In, Gilligan's Island) and written by Amateau and Linda Palmer (Legion of Fire: Killer Ants!, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie), TV Guide Magazine called the film "stunningly inept and totally reprehensible," and The Globe and Mail said "it is charmless, humorless, cynical and mean-minded." Man, oh man. Sure, I was a child when I used to watch this, but it can't be *that* bad... can it? Let's find out! It tells the story of a apparent 14-year-old orphan named Dodger (Mackenzie Astin, giving it his all) who lives/works for Captain Manzini (Anthony Newley, who brings some sense of grace to the proceedings), and is constantly bullied by a trio of twentysomething thugs. Tangerine (Katie Barberi), the girlfriend of ringleader Juice, finds herself kind of endeared to Dodger then flat out using him for clothing made by the titular oddball children. Captain Manzini has been keeping them captive in a garbage can in his store because that's what one does. Look, it doesn't make any sense, okay? But there is a State Home for the Ugly, really bad animatronic suits, and lots of farts. Be honest, that's why you're here, right? It's the farts. The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, DVD, and Blu-ray. Be sure to check out Dan's awesome podcast! You can find it at http://justonethingpodcast.com

A story about old friends and new, talking about making movies, unmotivated dolly shots, and even worse CGI than before. Listen in as me and returning Birdemic specialist, Dave, giggle and revel at this amazingly ridiculous sequel. We're back for more BIRDS! Written and directed by self-proclaimed auteur James Nguyen (Birdemic: Shock and Terror, Birdemic 2: The Resurrection, Julie and Jack), Movie Rewind said " if you liked the first movie for all its stupid, quirky charm, you're bound to have a great time suffering through this one as well," and Splatter Critic said it's "terrible in countless ways, yet hard to condemn since it's so unabashedly stupid." Yep. That about covers it. It tells the continuing story of Rod (Alan Bagh, back in action and swinging for the fences) and Nathalie (Whiney Moore, back like a good sport) as they continue their lives after the horrific events of the first film. Rod's buddy, Bill (fantastically wooden Thomas Favaloro), is a promising young director who needs cash for his passion project. Rich Rod signs on as long as his lady fair and his adopted son can be in the film. Random conversations about old Hollywood movies and the struggles of being and actor, writer, or director are highlighted. Finally the birds attack, cavepeople from the La Brea tar pits rise, and zombies show up. It is fucking nuts. The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, Fear Factory, Tubi, Pluto TV, and DVD.

A story about young love, magical days, addictions, and no more books. Listen in as me and resident specialist in Breenism, Richard, as we plumb the depths of this strange and abstruse masterpiece. Written, directed, produced, and edited by master indie auteur Neil Breen (Double Down, I Am Here.... Now, Fateful Findings, Pass Thru, Twisted Pair), Screen Anarchy called the film "compelling in its pervasive oddness," and Indie Film Cafe said "never in history has $25.95 plus shipping and handling been more wisely spent!" With acclaim like that do you really need more reasons to see this? If so, did you know that Breen was also the accountant, craft service, special make-up effects, location manager, production designer, sound editor, lighting design, wardrobe, and set decorator for the film? This man's talent knows no bounds! It tells the story of Dylan (the head honcho, Breen), an author of one book and hacker of many government and corporate secrets, as he suffers a car accident that sets him on a collision course with his childhood love, Leah. Along the way magical things happen, he hacks more secrets, sees psychiatrists, people get murdered, hotdogs get knocked over, and lots of looooong pauses in dialogue are taken. Look, I cannot possibly do this film justice trying to explain it. See it in all it's glory for yourself. The film is currently available for rent or purchase Amazon Prime or Apple TV, and on DVD at https://www.fatefulfindings.biz/.

A story about rubber suit aliens, bad acting, Maryland accents, and a tiny police station. Listen in as me and returning guest, Kenny, set this interplanetary zoological disaster film under or microscopes. Written and directed by Maryland's greatest unknown talent Don Dohler (Blood Massacre, Galaxy Invader, Nightbeast), the Bloody Pit of Horror called the film both “extremely cheap-looking, amateurishly acted, poorly edited and filled with continuity errors” but also said it was “a fun and charming no budget creature feature." Video Religion said "the movie is a significant example of no-budget filmmaking, not because it does an excellent job of hiding its shortcomings, but because it goes all out with what it does have.” That really sums up Don's work. Might not have had much, but he swung for the fences with what he did. It tells the story of a small Maryland town that sees an alien spaceship crash. The occupants, a trio of deadly alien specimens, escape and begin to terrorize the town. Hope is found when a stranger shows up in town claiming to have tracked the crash. He hunts the aliens down and starts to gain the trust of those around him, but he too harbors a secret… The film is currently available on Amazon Prime Video, DVD, and Blu-Ray.

A story about guns, projections, reflections, and Sean Connery's body hair. Listen in as me and returning guest, Peter, become one with the Tabernacle and aim our kaleidoscopes at this trippy piece of 70s sci-fi. Written and directed by John Boorman (Deliverance, Exorcist II: The Heretic, Point Blank), Entertainment Weekly called the film "silly [and] impenetrable," while the New Yorker said it was "a glittering cultural trash pile." Man, even the "nicest" review from Entertainment Weekly was harsh. It tells the story of a future where man has separated in to small bands of immortal folks living in medieval-style villages with killer wifi and an omnipresent AI caretaker, and the rest of humanity has been left outside the walls to roam the lands as killers, rapists, and brutes. Hm... Kinda sounds like a commentary on the 1% or something... Anyway, the barbarians worship a floating stone head controlled by an aforementioned immortal. This faux religion is used to control the barbarians until one day, mustachioed Sean Connery sneaks aboard and is taken to where the immortals live. It just gets weirder and more colorful from there. The film is currently available on Prime Video for rent or purchase.

A story about a duck, a girl, inter-dimensional demons, and flirting with beastiality. Listen in as me and returning guest Dan settle in with a Duckweiser and thumb through that latest issue of Playduck as we revisit the first feature film about a Marvel character. Directed by Willard Huyck (Messiah of Evil, French Postcards, Best Defense), who also co-wrote the film with Gloria Katz (American Graffiti, More American Graffiti, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom), TV Guide Magazine called the film "a monumental waste of time" and the A.V. Club said it was "desperately unfunny." What the hell is wrong with these people? I think they saw a different film... I agree with Empire who said it was "a crazy comedy" and IGN who stated it was "fun to watch." Screw the haters! It tells the story of Howard T. Duck, a charismatic smartass anthropomorphic duck who is ripped from his planet, Duck World, and plopped down into the best area Cleveland, Ohio has to offer. He befriends struggling up-and-coming rocker Beverly (played by the electric Lea Thompson) who introduces him to her wannabe scientist friend Phil (Tim Robbins with full-tilt Nic Cage energy), and the two set about trying to return Howard to his home. Inter-dimensional demons and a zany turn by the talented, yet problematic, Jeffrey Jones keep this adventure firing on all cylinders. Let's not forget, there's a killer theme song. You can find the film on Amazon Prime Video for rent or purchase and on DVD and Blu-ray.

A story about assassinations, biochemical warfare, canned tuna, and... who the fuck knows. Listen in as me and returning guest Richard, our resident specialist in Breenism, revisit the film that started it all for indie auteur wunderkind Neil Breen. Written and directed by first-time filmmaker Neil Breen (Fateful Findings, I Am Here....Now, Pass Thru, Twisted Pair), Worst Movies Ever Made called the film "a real, honest-to-goodness chore to sit through," and Zeegrade Reviews doubled down themselves and said that Neil "[makes] Ed Wood look like Christopher Nolan." They aren't wrong. This movie is baaaaaaaaad. It tells the story of a "brilliant" hacker/secret operative/ex-fighter pilot who lives in his car, eats only can tuna (when not spilling it on his lap), and controls much of the world's satellites and systems from a couple shitty laptops and a Dish Network receiver c-clamped to his trunk. The love of his life was killed and now he is taking revenge by terrorizing the Las Vegas strip while also saving the Las Vegas strip...? I don't fucking know. Watch it and if you figure it out email me. I'll send you a crisp $2 bill. The film is exceptionally hard to find. You might see it pop up on YouTube occasionally or might find an out of print DVD. I'd normally say you should try to get it, but this one is pretty bad.

A story about marital abuse, a dog named Shnoopsie, a friendly little fat goblin, and lack of color correction. Listen in as me and listener and first-time guest, Chris, chat about this little slice of indie film ambition. Directed by first-timer Chris Lee and written by first-timer Rosa Parnake, Film Threat called the film "as indie as it gets," while Tales of Terror said the film "has surprises up its sleeves that redeem the weaker moments." Did they watch the same film I did? It tells the story of Sara as she moves to a new home in the suburbs with her son, Sam, and her abusive husband and douchebag stepson, Danny and Danny Jr. respectively, only to find that there is a creature lurking about eating dogs and people. Their enigmatic and (questionably) Danish neighbor Elias pops in to provide some much needed exposition about the history and presence of the creature — a goblin. Danny gets drunk, Danny Jr. listens to death metal, Sam draws creepy things, and Sara tries to navigate it all. The film is currently available on Amazon Prime, Plex, and Tubi.

A story about exploitation, cannibals, not being very nice to animals, and the least sympathetic film crew ever. ***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED*** Listen in as me and returning guest Jan carve into the controversial godfather of found footage cinema. Directed by Ruggero Deodato (Body Count, Cut and Run, Concorde Affaire '79) and written by Gianfranco Clerici (Zorro the Rebel, Jungle Holocaust, Nazi Love Camp 27), Time Out called the film "uniquely unpleasant," while the A.V. Club said "there's no denying its effectiveness." Love it or hate it, you cannot deny that this film has had long lasting impact on cinema and some of its most influential voices. It tells the story of noted anthropologist Professor Harold Monroe, played by porn star Robert Kerman (Inside Seka, Anyone But My Husband, Spider-Man), who is sent into the Amazon rainforest in search of a missing documentary film crew. What he finds are human remains, film reels of the crew's journey, and a gaggle of cannibals. Toss in some animal cruelty sequences to sell the veracity of the images on display and you have one of the most controversial films in cinema history. The film is currently available on AMC+, Prime Video, Blu-ray and DVD. Pro tip: Most versions are not for the faint of heart. If you want to find the animal cruelty-free cut look for a runtime of 90 minutes. As mentioned in the show, check out the trailer for "Queen of the Angels" here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CbvENONpVp1/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

A story about corruption, kidnapping, yelling, and walking through rocks. Listen in as me and returning guest Richard, our resident specialist in Breenism, dive into indie auteur wunderkind Neil Breen's fourth feature film. Written and directed by filmmaker Neil Breen (Fateful Findings, I Am Here....Now, Double Down, Twisted Pair), HorrorNews.net said the film "reaches hilarious levels of ineptitude that is hard to believe exists until you witness it for yourself," while WeAreCult.rocks call it "Breen's most consciously surreal and dreamlike work." It's a far cry from Double Down and, man, it's great to be back with the Breen I know and love! It tells the story of an AI entity from the distant future (played of course by Breen) who comes back to present day to annihilate 300,000,000 "bad and corrupt people" to save humanity. That's pretty much it. There are time planes, an side plot about an old man and some kids trying to track down a mysterious signal, a group of immigrants who are kidnapped, and a superimposed tiger. It's magnificent. The film is only available through Neil's official purchase site: pass-thru-film.com

A story about sadism, abuse, eating poop, and 120 days in the Italian countryside. ***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED*** Listen in as me and returning guest Joe try to recover from seeing this controversial work. Written and directed by Pier Paolo Pasolini (The Decameron, The Canterbury Tales, Arabian Nights) New York Times said the film was "a perfect example of the kind of material that ... can be acceptable on paper but becomes so repugnant when visualized on the screen that it further dehumanizes the human spirit." TV Guide stated that "despite moments of undeniably brilliant insight, [the film] is nearly unwatchable, extremely disturbing, and often literally nauseous." The Village Voice said the film "retains the power to disturb in the era of the sham-seditious blockbuster." No matter how you cut it, this film is CRAZY and is in a league of its own. It tells the story of four libertine authorities at the end of World War II in Fascist Italy. They kidnap a group of young boys and girls as unwilling participants in their perverse and disturbing 120-day orgy of depravity. Hiring a quartet of prostitutes to tells stories of their lives to kickstart the libertines' libidos, the activities progress from sexual violence to coprophilia (shit-eating and shit-play) to eventual torture and murder. It's a really, really fucked up movie. The film is currently available on DVD and Blu-Ray. Watch at your own risk.

Uh oh... Where's this week's episode? Listen to these 40 seconds and find out...

A story about a state-run prison, an insane warden, his creepy assistant, and Tom Six jumping the shark. Listen in as me and my resident Human Centipede specialist, Chris, try to figure out why this unnecessary sequel exists. Written and directed by Tom Six (The Human Centipede 1 & 2, The Onania Club), the Los Angeles Times called the finale to the trilogy "frightless and boring," while Entertainment Weekly said "the Human Centipede 3 is crap." Talk about blunt. It tells the story of unhinged prison warden Bill Boss (Dieter Laser, who played the villain in the first film) and his failing prison in the middle of a desert hell. Faced with unruly prisoners and a threat to his funding, Bill turns to his creepy little accountant, Dwight Butler (played by part 2's villain, Laurence R. Harvey), for ideas. The best one they come up with is to take inspiration from the first two films and stitch all the prisoners ass-to-mouth. Uber meta, right? Of course, the plan is green lit by Bill and what could possibly go wrong..? The film is currently available on AMC+, IFC Films Unlimited, Prime Video, and of course Blu-ray and DVD.

A story about animals dying, people dying, meditations on dying, and really weird music choices. Listen in as me and my guest Devon discuss the film whose legend is nearly without equal. Written and directed by John Alan Schwartz (Faces of Death 1-6), Screen Anarchy called the film "a curious bit of film history, but nothing more," while Mondo Bizarro said "this movie sucks." Well, seems like folks aren't as bowled over by this film as they were when it blew up in the 80s via the VHS market. It tells the story... Okay, well, it's not really a story. It's a documentary about death. That's pretty much it. We are introduced to a "pathologist" named Dr. Gross (played by Michael Carr) who tells us he decided to study death and the film is the summation of his findings. Albeit, the lore around this film shines brighter and rings louder than the work itself, one cannot deny its infamy. To truly appreciate what was done here you need to think about the world in which it was made, then you will see that this really was rather subversive. The film is currently available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

A story about artificial intelligence, programmable DNA, awful facial hair, and a lot of voiceover. Listen in as me and returning guest and resident expert in Breenism, Richard, complete our season long look into the collective works of Neil Breen by breaking down his fifth work. Written and directed by wunderkind auteur Neil Breen (Double Down, I Am Here....Now, Fateful Findings, Pass Thru), it is the fifth and (as of this recording) most recent film by Breen. Indie Film Café called the film "a masterpiece of the WTF," and One Star Classics said they "don't even know where to start describing the actual movie." Neil, ya might have outdone yourself with this one. It tells the story of a set of twins, both played by Breen, who were taken by an entity and gifted "powers." One uses them for good to complete "missions" and the other does not. There are strained relationships, secret missions for a secret agency, a murder basement, and a whole lot more weird shit. The film is currently available on Prime Video and DVD.

A story about veterans, a ruthless drug lord, a girl in trouble, and kicking ass the American way. Listen in as me and returning guest Dan put on some ponchos and wade through this splatterfest of violence. Directed by Joe Begos (Almost Human, The Mind's Eye, Bliss) and written by first-time screenwriters Max Brallier and Matthew McArdle, the A.V. Club called the film "a visceral throwback to the gritty action fare that lined video store shelves in the early '80s," and Slashfilm said "it's vile, slick with repugnance, and appropriately inhumane." This film is FUCKING AWESOME. It tells the story of VFW bartender Fred, played by Stephen Lang (Don't Breathe, Avatar), and his fellow veteran friends played by William Sadler (The Shawshank Redemption, The Mist), Fred Williamson (MASH, From Duck Till Dawn), Martin Kove (Karate Kid), and David Patrick Kelly (The Warriors, The Crow), as they fight to protect Lizard, a young woman on the run from a ruthless drug lord and his army of mindless tweakers. It's simple, violent, and absolutely fun. Just watch it! The film is currently available on Prime Video, AMC+, Blu-ray and DVD. Watch Dan play video games here: www.twitch.tv/JustonethingDM

A story about ice cream, childhood trauma, America's failing mental health system, and Small Paul. Listen in as me and returning guest Mike scoop into the gory bucket of fake blood and melting ice cream that is this film. Directed by Norman Apstein (Ice Cream Man, numerous porn flicks) and written by one-time writer Sven Davison (Ice Cream Man), Entertainment Weekly called the film "entertaining trash," and All Horror said it was "a love it or hate it type of movie." When you have Clint Howard in an all-white outfit and a shit-ton of blood, ice cream, and one-liners you KNOW it's going to be lit. Trust me, I wouldn't end the season on a dud! It tells the story of Gregory (played deliciously insane by Clint Howard) who witnesses the drive-by shooting of his ice cream man as a child. After spending his formative years in the loony bin, he assumes the mantle of his fallen hero after he is released. That's when the murdering starts. Dogs, slutty women, cops, and kids... No one is safe from... THE ICE CREAM MAN! The film is currently available on DVD and Blu-ray, Tubi, Pluto TV, Plex, and AMC+. Thank you for joining this season, see you in 6 weeks!

A story about survival, grenades, jean shorts, and abs. Listen in as me and my guest and fellow podcaster, Cam, zip up our jorts, sharpen our boobytrap spikes, and hunt down this film's sauce rating. Written and directed by David A. Prior (Deadliest Prey, Killzone, Jungle Assault), TV Guide called the film "a wretched Rambo ripoff," while Morning Movie Review said "Holy cow[, t]his movie is a good time." Welp, if that ain't a ringing endorsement, I dunno what is. It tells the story of Mike Danton (play by March 1984 Playgirl Man of the Month Ted Prior) who get's kidnapped by a band of mercenaries who "train" for some oblique mission by hunting civilians running for their lives. The leader of these mercs is Colonel John Hogan (played by David Campbell) who himself is at the mercy of a suited mystery man named Michaelson (played by veteran actor Troy Donahue). These mercs are training for a mission that is never explained and they all seem to be rather incompetent. Their general lack of ability will be their death knell when Danton gets free and starts picking them off one-by-one. There are oodles of shitty explosions, excessive gun cocking, and consistently bad hand-to-hand combat techniques. This movie is a rollicking good time in the trash cinema genre! The film is currently available on Amazon Prime. Check out Cam's podcast, it's a fun time! https://linktr.ee/JURSPodcast (Jacked Up Review Show Podcast)

A story about incredibly short-shorts, kids being assholes, seemingly accepted pedophilic tendencies, and poor Mozart. Listen in as me and returning guest and horror cinephile, Sean, pull on those aforementioned '80s short-shorts, roast some s'mores, and chat about this subversive classic. Written and directed by Robert Hiltzik (Sleepaway Camp, Return to Sleepaway Camp), IGN called the film a "super fun, crazy and [...] an incredibly memorable movie," while TV Guide said it was "simply irredeemable." Hey, no one reads TV Guide any more, so what do they know?! It tells the story of traumatized and shy Angela Baker (Felissa Rose, Terrifier 2, The House that Wept Blood) and her cousin Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten, Toilet Zombie Baby Strikes Back, The House that Wept Blood) as they attend summer camp. But it is not all sun, fun, and flag football, because as soon as kids begin to bully and accost Angela, they end up dead in awful ways. Behind Angela's troubled childhood and death of her father, lie a major secret that only comes to light in the film's final moments. A secret that set audiences talking for years to come. The film is currently available on DVD & Blu-Ray, Freevee, Crackle, Peacock, Plex, Tubi, Shout! Factory TV, and Amazon Prime.

A story about super powers through science, green screens, stock footage, and running in place. Listen in as me and returning guest, Chris, sit down for another choice cut recommended to me by this masochistic friend of the show. Directed by Lewis Schoenbrun (Aliens vs. Avatars, Queen Cobra) and written by Keith Schaffner (Queen Cobra, Demonoids), The Horror Times called the film "not interesting, fun, or enjoyable," while Mondo Bizzaro said "it is so terrible that it makes me laugh." Love it or hate it, you're right. This film has no in-between viewers. The only way to know which camp you land in is to watch it yourself. It tells the story of Henry "Hank" Howard (Jordan Lawson, Sunny Family Cult, The Black Prison), a young scientist toiling over the development of a super soldier serum under the supervision of asshole General Darwin (Terence Lording, The Amazing Bulk). At the same time, Hank is schtupping Darwin's daughter, Hannah (Shevaun Kastl, Criminal Minds, Heroes). After denied Hannah's hand in marriage by douchebag Darwin, Hank decides the best way to speed along results is to make himself a test subject. He injects himself with the serum and finds that when he gets angry he turns into a tornado which then turns into a variably-sized nude, purple man-beast. This purple aberration is pursued by dopey cops, the Bulk is pursuing the evil Dr. Kantlove in his Super Mario-like castle, and all the while Darwin is pulling the strings. It's a fucking mess. The film is currently available on Tubi and VUDU. Visit https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2_kUHv5HN7sFi_yJEBL8bg (Chris' YouTube channel)!

A story about forbidden love, casual breaking and entering, random dancing, and Dutch angles. Listen in as me and new guest, Ben, pull on our patchwork pants and overly embroidered jackets to revisit this abomination of a cinematic vehicle meant to launch Vanilla Ice into movie stardom. Luckily for society it was a spectacular failure. Directed by David Kellogg (Inspector Gadget, Lusty Liaisons II) and written by David Stenn (Girl 27, She Was Marked for Murder), the Washington Post called the film "a cross between an after-school special and MTV video," while TV Guide said the film's "premise is utterly insupportable and [Kellogg's] direction renders the choices flat." Did I watch the same movie? These reviews, though low on the Metacritic score, seem kind. This film was a dumpster fire of epic proportions, and I will die on that hill. It tells the story of a kind-of-a-jerk rapper named Johnny (Vanilla Ice) getting stuck in a small town and pursuing a local girl named Kathy (Kristin Minter, Home Alone) who is already dating a definite jerk named Nick (John Newton, Alive, Melrose Place). Ice, erm-I mean Johnny, ambles around the town chasing after the freshly-graduated from high school Kathy, while his crew deals with a kooky elderly couple who try to fix a broken motorcycle. There is random dancing, Ice rapping, a backstory involving witness protection, and a kidnapping. It's a bit of a roaming mess. Get stoned and watch this one. The film is currently available on Prime Video if you feel like burning some cash. Find and follow Ben on Instagram: @benschyan

A story about Hollywood, a man with a dream, special effects, and UNIONS. Listen in as me and new guest, Brian, travel to Tinseltown of yesteryear with this silly, impressive, and utterly fun ode/jibe at the movie business. Written and directed by Mike Jittlov (The Wizard of Speed and Time), Time Out called the film a "bizarre and wacky conglomeration of [special effects] and fantasy slapstick," and 366 Weird Movies said "there is something genuinely charming here." I have to be honest, when Brian suggested this film I thought it was going to be wretched. I have to say that I found it to be utterly delightful. Of course, my own struggles as a filmmaker certainly play a part in how I see this film. Perhaps it might be a bit more boring and annoying to non-industry people, but listen in and see what we have to say about the experience. It tells the story of filmmaker & special effects artist Mike Jittlov (played by himself) as he struggles to get his career going. He gets a chance to produce a segment for a TV program highlighting special effects. The thing he doesn't know is that the two producers have a bet going as to whether or not he'll be able to deliver the product on time. As Mike and his friends work to make their dreams come true, they find themselves beset on all sides by impossible union rules, overly zealous law enforcement, and the tax man. This movie is zany and definitely worth a watch. The film is currently available on YouTube. Yes, you read that correct. YouTube. For FREE.

A story about unitards, technology run amok, an angry ghost, and a huge liability case. Listen in as me and guest, Devon, slip on our leg warmers and pop in our jazzercise mixtape to see what's the haps with this week's flick. Directed by Michael Fischa (My Mom's a Werewolf, Crack House) and written by James Bartruff (Death Spa, What's Happening Now!) and Mitch Paradise (Death Spa, Bleacher Bums), Filmmonthly called the film "a goofy, gory, unpretentious good time," and the Lair of Filth said it "is sleazy, cheesy and bone-snappingly entertaining viewing." Yea, I agree. It's pretty silly and really fun. It tells the story of Michael Evans (William Bumiller, Species, Boat Trip) as he tries to run his sexy and popular gym, Starbodies Health Spa, while a series of mysterious injuries and deaths begin. He suspects his ex-brother-in-law, David (Merritt Butrick, Star Trek 2, Star Trek 3), and his computer system that runs the gym may be to blame. His buddy Marvin (Ken Foree, Dawn of the Dead, From Beyond) just wants to toss the ol' pigskin around and wear short-shorts. Of course, the pissed off ghost of Michael's wife, Catherine (Shari Shattuck, One Deadly Ground, Spy Hard), has her own agenda in the spa. It's goofy, violent, and just plain fun. The film is currently available on Tubi, Plex, and Prime Video.

A story about parenthood, anxiety, a strange baby, and who the hell knows. Listen in as me and new guest, Jon, stare into the magical radiator that is this film and try to divine just what is going on here. Written and directed by seminal auteur David Lynch (Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive), Time Out called the film "a singular work of the imagination, a harrowing, heartbreaking plunge into the darkest recesses of the soul," while the New York Times said it was "a murkily pretentious shocker." Sounds like someone at the NY Times is butthurt they didn't make a weird movie that inspired countless filmmakers... It tells the story of Henry (Jack Nance, Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet) as he learns he has a premature (mutant) baby while his girlfriend/mother of his child Mary (Charlotte Stewart, Twin Peaks, Tremors) is constantly on edge. She leaves Henry to care for the child alone and he sees visions of a strange woman in his radiator. It gets much, much stranger from here. The film is currently available on HBO Max, Amazon Prime, DVD and Blu-Ray.

A "story" about old people masks, breaking shit, humping shit, and doing weird shit. Listen in as me and returning guest, Chris, struggle to find the reason for this "film's" existence. Written and directed by one time indie darling Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo), the Los Angeles Times called the film "a perverted love letter to fans of [Korine's] brand of unstable, fringe-y terror," while the New York Post said "it's about as enervating a way to waste 78 minutes as I've ever experienced." Right on, NY Post, right on. It tells the story of nothing. There is no story. It's 4 "old" people going around breaking shit and being generally antisocial. The elderly masks worn are creepy, and only one really works well. At times it is funny, at others unsettling in its realness. Overall, it is as entertaining and enticing as getting a guided tour of one's own garage in the middle of a heat wave while the stench of something dead hangs in the air. The film is currently available on DVD. If you want to hunt it down, you can find it.

A story about loneliness, unconditional love, objectophilia, and TITANIUM. Listen in as me and fellow podcaster and returning guest, Al, dress up like crash test dummies and prepare for a head-on collision between our minds and this controversial award-winner. Written and directed by Julia Ducournau (Raw, Servant), the Playlist called the film "deliciously grisly and inventive," while the Guardian said it was "sheer silliness and towering pointlessness." Must be one of those critics that hates to read subtitles. It tells the story of car model/stripper Alexia, a daring performance from newcomer Agathe Rousselle, as she dances on a Cadillac, has sex with said Cadillac, kills people, and runs from her life. Disguising herself as a missing boy returning a decade after his disappearance, Alexia becomes Andre and goes to live with the boy's father, Vincent (Vincent Lindon, Undercover, The Measure of a Man). Vincent is a fire chief and brings "Andre" into the world of firefighting, but one fireman has suspicions about who the boy really is... The film is currently available on Hulu, Amazon Prime, DVD and Blu-Ray.

A story about a girl, her past love, her current love, and even more necrophilia. Listen in as me and returning guest, my almost perfect wife Ashley, reminisce over what was arguably our worst date night movie choice. Directed by Jörg Buttgereit (Nekromantik, Schramm) and co-written by Buttgereit and Franz Rodenkirchen (Nekromantik, Schramm), the Bloody Pit of Horror said the film "steers away from the grotesque gore for a more serious, though leisurely, look at necrophilia," while Tales of Terror said "it crumbles when it becomes surreal and pretentious, which it often does." I agree, though "leisurely" is a bit kind. It's slow. So. Damned. Slow... It tells the story of ... The film is currently available on DVD and Blu-Ray.

The show will continue after a brief hiatus.

A story about family, friendly competition, adult braces, and suburban hell.Listen in as me and guest, Dan, pull on our polo shirts and tighten our braces for this trippy flick.Co-written and co-directed by Jocelyn DeBoer (Adam Ruins Everything, The Arrival) and Dawn Luebbe (Adam Ruins Everything, Dress A Cow), The Globe and Mail called the film "as enticing as it is bizarre," while The New York Times said it was "excruciatingly surreal." Rawr... Looks like this is another audience-divider like Napoleon Dynamite. It tells the story of two mothers whose friendship and families begin to feel the strain of competition as Jill (DeBoer) and Lisa (Luebbe) continuously up the ante of being the better person/mother/friend/neighbor. Add in a killer on the lose, lots of mouth close ups, and a kid who turns into a dog and you get the swirling strangeness that is Greener Grass.The film is currently available on Hulu, and on DVD and Blu-Ray.

A story about a corrupt prison system, eyeball damage, crowd-provided exposition, and magically appearing items.Listen in as me and returning guest, Joe, dust off our whistle-leafs and stretch our muscles in preparation for this knock-down, head-smasher of a film.Directed by X (FILM, FILM) and written by X (FILM, FILM), Screen Anarchy said "this may be the greatest film ever made," while Cinemagazine called it "a movie with a lot of flaws." Well... Sounds like someone didn't understand just how brilliant this splatter-fu movie is!It tells the story of Riki-Oh (Siu-Wong Fan), a young man with superhuman strength and a soft spot for the weak, the lame, and the bullied. In a world where prisons have become privatized, prisoner abuse runs rampant with no system of order apart from the corrupt warden and his staff as well as a small band of gang bosses. Well, Ricky ain't gonna stand for that. Once he sees an old man beaten up, he starts to show just how dangerous he is and it isn't long before the assistant warden, Cyclops Dan (played by Siu-Wong's father, Mei Cheng Fan), initiates a plan to take Ricky out of the equation. Dismemberment, disemboweling, and cranial fractures follow.The film is currently available on Amazon Prime Video, Tubi, DVD, and Blu-ray.

A story about two warring families, two star-crossed lovers, some graphic violence, and a whole lot of boobs.Listen in as me and new guest and veteran podcaster, Julian, put in our nose piercings and prince alberts for this raucous and vulgar rendition of the Bard's most recognized work.Directed by Lloyd Kaufman (The Toxic Avenger, Sgt. Kabukiman N.Y.P.D.) and co-written by Kaufman and James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy, The Suicide Squad), the San Francisco Examiner said of the film that "amid the severed fingers, gouged eyes and lethal vibrators, one finds moments of genuine wit," while the AV Club said "its chief demographic [is] maladjusted 12-year-old boys." Rude. I may be maladjusted, but I am not 12-years-old.It tells the story of Romeo and Juliet, but Troma style. What's that? You didn't have to read it in high school? Oh... you didn't have to read it in home school. Gotcha. Okay, here it goes. Tromeo Que loves Juliet Capulet. Ques and Capulet hate each other more than the Hatfields and McCoys, thus one can see the problem. Throw in nightmares of a demon penis, some decapitations, and a crossbow that blows shit up and you have one helluva movie.The film is currently available on Peacock, Plex, Pluto TV, Tubi, Prime Video, and Blu-ray & DVD

A story about a poisoned water supply, insane misogynists, penis obsession, and way too much semen.***LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED*** Listen in as me and guest, Chris, ...Co-directed by Drew Bolduc (Science Team, Assassinaut) and Dan Nelson (The Taint), and written by Bolduc, Ain't It Cool News called the film "one of the most inanely funny films [we've] seen," while Portland Mercury said "[they] can't recommend this movie, per se, but [they] also can't stop thinking about it." If those don't get you curious, then you'll definitely need to hear this episode. This film is fucking epic and brilliant. Fight me.It tells the story of a small town whose water supply has been poisoned by the TAINT. It makes men go crazy for murder, and murder makes them orgasm like firehoses. Forced to navigate and survive in this ruthless and jizz-soaked world is Phil O'Ginny (played by filmmaker Drew Bolduc), a lazy student who cares more about getting laid and smoking cigarettes then class. He meets up with fierce Misandra (a tough-as-nails Colleen Walsh) and the two set out to learn just what happened to cause the violent mayhem around them.The film is currently available on Vimeo, TromaNOW, and Blu-ray & DVD.

A story about puppets, Thanksgiving Land, a missing movie, and a space worm.Listen in as me and returning guest, Devon, pull on our stretchy pants and sit down to feast on the sequel to the infamous ThanksKilling. We wanted a meal, but it ended up feeling like a forced enema.Directed by Jordan Downey (ThanksKilling, The Head Hunter) and co-written by Downey, Mike Will Downey (ThanksKilling 3), and Kevin Stewart (ThanksKilling, The Head Hunter), Cinema Head Cheese called the film "so incredibly bad, it defies the worst possible criticism, and ultimately, it proves absolutely zany-wonderful to behold," while Splatter Critic said it was "a general mess that rarely makes sense." I'm gonna have to side with Splatter Critic on this one. Spoiler alert: we didn't like this film. Sorry ThanksKilling crew. You did MUCH better when you had less money.It tells the story of Turkie from the first film hunting down the last copy of ThanksKilling 2, a film that was so bad every copy but one was destroyed. There are lots of puppets (for some reason) and a duo of Thanksgiving-obsessed dudes who want to make a theme park dedicated to the holiday. Confused? Well, it only goes downhill from here. Honestly, why couldn't ThanksKilling 3 meet the same fate as part 2?The film is currently available on Indie Club via Prime Video Channels, Pluto TV, Tubi, and Prime Video for rent or purchase.

Guess who is back......with a bonus episode at least! And it's SPOILER FREE!It's been since Thanksgiving that the show has dropped the freshness into your feed. Well, allow me to apologize again (new job + new baby = WTF happed to my schedule) and THANK YOU for tuning in, whether you're new to the show or a longtime subscriber.As we ramp up to bring season 3 home, we interrupt our unplanned silence with some breaking news! Neil Breen's 6th film has its premiere at the Hollywood Reel Independent Film Festival on February 25th. We were there for the magic, heard Neil answer a variety of questions, and met the man himself. His new film, Cade: The Tortured Crossing, is outrageously fun and some of Neil's best work yet.Listen in as I chat once again with our resident specialist in Breenism, Richard, about the film, Neil's creative trajectory, and of course that awesome Q&A.

A story about sex in cars, sex with scars, sex with strangers, and oh yeah... car crashes.Listen in as me and returning guest Dan buckle up and put the pedal to the metal with this car-wreck of film—in a good way!Written and directed by David Cronenberg (The Fly, A History of Violence) and based on the book by J.G. Ballard (High-Rise, Empire of the Sun), Roger Ebert called the film "pornographic in form, but not in result," while the Christian Science Monitor said it was "surprisingly dull given the story's outrageous subject." Of course you'd say that CSM...It tells the story of TV director James Ballard (played brilliantly by James Spader) and his wife, Catherine (a stunning Deborah Kara Unger), as they engage in extramarital affairs in an attempt to reignite their own sex life. One day, James gets into a serious auto accident which brings him into contact with the widow of the man he's killed and an entire subculture of auto-wreck enthusiasts. As he gets drawn into this fetishist underworld, the lines between bodies, steel, sexuality, and brutality, all become blurred.The film is currently available on Blu-Ray and DVD.

In this special bonus episode I sit down and chat with the filmmaker behind The Taint, Drew Bolduc. We chat about how he pulled off those awesomely gross and hilarious visual effects, how he got into filmmaking, and much more.Check out our conversation for a look behind the magic that is The Taint!