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In Downtown Toronto dealing with the pantless weirdos...and Fapping to downs

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip. When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash. The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year, With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name; “Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!” His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick. And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there. When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match. The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry. Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!” It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp. I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!” And To All A Good Lay  by  foehn. Recited by Connor. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair. The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown. He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft! By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass. Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?” Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum. The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping. When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.” I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din. “Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong. He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face! He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there. I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention. I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!” Her Night Before Christmas by Ug. Recited by Natasha Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair. The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush. He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair. He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle. The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest. He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in. He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love. He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram. He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl. He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum. He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess. He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone. He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!” T'was The Night Before Christmas by LostNlove. Recited by Emily. It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused. The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy. I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight. Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan. I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow. I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard. When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round. Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched. I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss. We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack. When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.” “No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.” I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.” He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp. “I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!” I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees. I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go. I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit. As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell. “For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.” He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop. His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream! We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care. As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!” Twats The Night Before Christmas by  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas. Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare. I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck. When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude. Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses, With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing; “I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!” There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head; And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit. My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearls Their eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more. Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last. Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next. They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad. Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly. She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done. With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.” Tinder Christmas Eve By HarryDNewhouse Recited by Aria Twas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won. “Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick. There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!” A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight. My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry. Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair. The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair. ‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes. Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered. Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice. Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End. NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODY By Eurika. Recited by Ryan Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable. I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play. I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning. A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head. She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.” I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me. Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done. He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go. “Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy. We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“ Kay's Christmas Worship By drive me wilder. Recited by Clara Twas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick. Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob. It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true. Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall. Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack. Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die. His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows. She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce. Donna's Night Before Christmas By Gaurd. Recited by Molly. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there. But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view. In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me. I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name! "Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more! With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. 'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead! I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound. He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack. His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show. The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide! His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly! He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip. When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash. The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year, With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name; “Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!” His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick. And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there. When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match. The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry. Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!” It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp. I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!” And To All A Good Lay  by  foehn. Recited by Connor. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair. The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown. He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft! By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass. Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?” Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum. The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping. When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.” I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din. “Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong. He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face! He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there. I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention. I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!” Her Night Before Christmas by Ug. Recited by Natasha Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair. The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush. He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair. He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle. The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest. He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in. He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love. He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram. He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl. He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum. He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess. He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone. He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!” T'was The Night Before Christmas by LostNlove. Recited by Emily. It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused. The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy. I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight. Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan. I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow. I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard. When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round. Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched. I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss. We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack. When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.” “No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.” I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.” He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp. “I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!” I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees. I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go. I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit. As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell. “For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.” He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop. His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream! We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care. As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!” Twats The Night Before Christmas by  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas. Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare. I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck. When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude. Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses, With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing; “I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!” There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head; And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit. My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearls Their eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more. Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last. Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next. They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad. Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly. She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done. With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.” Tinder Christmas Eve By HarryDNewhouse Recited by Aria Twas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won. “Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick. There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!” A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight. My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry. Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair. The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair. ‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes. Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered. Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice. Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End. NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODY By Eurika. Recited by Ryan Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable. I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play. I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning. A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head. She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.” I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me. Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done. He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go. “Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy. We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“ Kay's Christmas Worship By drive me wilder. Recited by Clara Twas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick. Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob. It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true. Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall. Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack. Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die. His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows. She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce. Donna's Night Before Christmas By Gaurd. Recited by Molly. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there. But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view. In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me. I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name! "Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more! With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. 'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead! I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound. He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack. His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show. The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide! His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly! He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

BGSSTDY105: Wrapping & Fapping

The far more censored version of the award-winning and unparalleled "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan." - "A Corporate Time" is a daily companion and terrestrial radio show heard nationally on iHeartRadio. It's silly.

It's back! Fapping, beating your meat, rubbing one out … all about masturbation. Chris and Scott masticate on: • Whether masturbation is really helpful or harmful • How silence around your body leads to compulsive masturbation • How you can get curious about what jacking off means to you #jacking off #masturbation #fapping #fap #nofap #men #masculinity #faith #connection #shame #kindness #curiosity #arousal #desire #attraction #story #vulnerability #growth You can CONNECT with Chris and Scott at https://www.sexcessfulmen.com. We will be LIVE every week on Fridays, 11am CDT, on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@WeGotBallsPod NASHVILLE RETREAT, December 5-8, 2024: https://www.eventcreate.com/e/mens-story-refuge Get NEW MERCH at our online shop: https://illume.shop/collections/we-got-balls SUBSCRIBE NOW so you don't miss any exciting episodes.

Jessie is on one today as she attempts to navigate the NYC dating jungle filled with polyamorous snakes. Chris just wants to find a cup of coffee in this damn city for less than 11 dollars. After a few false starts, they get to a summer Hallmark with a lot of kissing in a woodshed.  

Oh the joys of self pleasure! Kains, Dawwson, and Bearly discuss the topic of Fapping! We have this subject well in hand! This is part one of a two part series. We answer some questions sent in by pups. We break out the wheel of kink for some interesting things as well. So Hood Up, Tune In, and Pup Out!Support the Show.Thanks for listening. Podcast Merch is available at: https://off-leash-podcast-shop.fourthwall.com/Thank you to all our supporters and subscribers: Rudy Pup, AstroWoof, Pup Ferris, Scout W. Pup Floki, and Pup Kaladin.

☎️ Text us! 310-356-3920 ☎️ What is one thing that someone said to you in high school that you still remember today? Did you have a sunken treasure for a chest, like Mom was told. OR, did you allegedly "plateau" freshmen year of high school like I was told? In other news, I get kicked out of a sex toy convention. Mom discovers why masturbation is called "Fapping." Consider this my Missed Connections listing for Anya who was collecting twigs outside of my house! Please support our show and get discounts on our favorite brands by using our sponsors' links at sneakypod.com! HIMS – Get those boners up! Start your free online visit today and receive personalized Erectile Dysfunction treatment options at Hims.com/mom. UBERLUBE – UberLube is our favorite lube! Perfect for oral, anal, and vaginal sex. Use code MOM at www.UberLube.com for 10% off and free shipping.  BATHMATE – Take your penis to the gym! Improve your girth and stamina with the world's best-selling penis pump. Get 10% off at www.bathmatedirect.com/sextalk. ❣️You can view many of our full episodes in video form by going to our YouTube channel. Join our sparkling new Sneaky Freak chatroom on Discord! Just visit: https://discord.gg/jJZqkUw3dV. To gain exclusive access to all our Discord channels, join us at Patreon.com/sextalkwithmymom. If you've enjoyed the show, please consider leaving us a review at RateThisPodcast.com/Mom. Also, it would mean the world if you'd support us through Patreon.com/sextalkwithmymom – a platform where you can get exclusive STWMM bonus episodes and Zoom chats with us! Grab some Sex Talk w/ My Mom swag at sextalkwithmymom.com. Get close with us on socials at: Text us - 310-356-3920 Facebook/Instagram - @SexTalkWithMyMomPod Twitter - @SexTalkWMyMom Website - www.SexTalkWithMyMom.com Our podcast's music was crafted by the wildly talented Freddy Avis! Check out his work at http://www.freddyavismusic.com/ Sex Talk With My Mom is a proud member of Pleasure Podcasts, a podcast collective revolutionizing the conversation around sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Love Island star-turned-world-famous-podcaster Chris Williamson talks to Piers about toxic masculinity, sobriety, anxiety and er... fapping.YouTube: @PiersMorganUncensoredX: @PiersUncensoredTikTok: @piersmorganuncensoredInsta: @piersmorganuncensored Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Hamza gives advice to a follower who faps thinking about his classmate, and talks about dealing with lust and sexual energy. Don't just listen, take action, and become an ALPHA WOLF! All necessary links: https://linktr.ee/alphawolfpack  Join the Wolfpack: https://plus.acast.com/s/wolfpack. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

✨ Join A Secret Group Of High Performers ✨ ⁠⁠https://www.secretsofsuccess.com/roundpegs?afmc=qoy “Can One Book Really Be Worth $1.5 Million Dollars...? See why: ⁠https://secretsofsuccess.com/bibliomania?afmc=qoz⁠ (closing soon)

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmasby  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;My panties were hung on the bedpost with care,As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed,As visions of huge cock danced in my head;My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip,I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound,I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound;And naked away, to the window I dashed,Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold,Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold.When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick,I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick.While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came,As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen!It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'!From the tip of my rod to the sack of my ballsI'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly;And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs;And started to spread and rub my bare lipsNow slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock,And knew at the front door awaited my cock.I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs,Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment;Entered the room and tore off my garment;And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch;My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth,His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath;I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry,And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quickHe knew it was time to show me his prick.He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly,And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand;When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand;So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat;I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk,And sliding his finger inside of my ass,I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor,And licked the last drops of cum like a whore.And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod,“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers,my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!”You'd already laid down your stockings with care,and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last,and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast,You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down,and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic,desiring our session of love to be drastic.Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft,you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared,when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared,The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass,as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air,as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere.I took in the view with a wilting erection,and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt;I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt,And taking the pot, knocking over my rum,I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed,to think that this Christmas, he well could have died;And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping,I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face,I reminded him, he had invaded our space.“And now come to think of it, where are the toys?“Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket,to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.)He walked to the chimney, and reaching within,unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?”He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,”and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong,he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree,and turning he gave me, a new DVD;there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case,and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door.I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor.where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare.beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side;you were already giving, your new dong a ride!And what had gone limp from our rude interruption,now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where;it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air.and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh,“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.No creature was stirring, not even a mouse.The stockings were worn by the woman with care,She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed,the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head.And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor,so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger.To her door he did wander, and gave it a push,Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander.looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder.Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair.This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake,but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake.He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle.which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver.decided to cup one, still she did not shiver.Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress.and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh.and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high.Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin,to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside.and with his free hand, then parted her thighs.And moving between, her legs he did shove.Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair,His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair.and into her pussy, his dick did so slam.then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved.Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove.She still was asleep, unaware of the world,so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head,And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed.He started to grunt, whilst having his fun.Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath,and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left.He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress,and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door,before looking round, til he finally swore.“Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”,then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so,soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow.But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light,“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas;And all through my house.The Candles were glowing;And I was quite soused.The fire was warm;And so was the brandy.As I wrapped up the gifts;I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie;Short silky and white.Hoping when Santa showed;He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs;I heard a deep groan.It sounded familiar;I let out a moan.I turned round to see;And what do you know.There stood my Santa;His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon;Round that cock so hard.And jumped off the couch;Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy;He laughed and came down.I untied that bow;And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present!I'm one happy wench.I sucked it then faster;my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet;L and licking my lips.Then, held mistletoe;while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couchWhere he laid me back.And thrust in his cock;All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said;Oh You like that I see.”I said,“Yes all though better;On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear;Anything that you wish.But first come here;Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly;Then I got on the floor.He teased so I begged;“Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie;Up over my ass.As he gave it a slap;I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year;You're so naughty but nice.”He shoved it in deep saying,“Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him,As he slammed into me.I didn't yet notice;Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came;my juices did flow.he pounded yet faster;deep as he could go.I came then again;and convulsed quite a bit.My fingers pressed hard;On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel;His dick start to swell.He smacked on my ass;And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty,that will suffice.and now here is something;For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight,And his cock shot a pop.I soon came again;begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted;I thought I might scream.Oh the wonderful pleasure;Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor,His hands in my hair,Then asleep by the fire,Without any care.As he was leaving;Before the sunlight.“Oh my darling;You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block;Nothing was stirring, except for my cock.Her panties were hung by the chimney with care,I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed,While visions of big boobs danced in my head.With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck,I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise,It sounded like girls and could not be boys.Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude,We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glowAnd gave my firm cock a good reason to grow;When, what should appear through my old reading glasses,But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick,I knew in a moment they wanted my dick.I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing,But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly!I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie!From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match,My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch;So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds,I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick,The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick.Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits,While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch,Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch;A sack full of toys she brought for the girls,It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry!Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry!The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor,They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me,They mounted my cock by the light of the tree.Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast,My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet,I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet.With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast,My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick,and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick.She lowered her pussy right onto my rod,We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best,My cock was now tired and needed a rest.With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early,She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple,My smile was so big and showed off my dimple.She moved to their clits, and then one by one,Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more,They eventually dressed and went for the door.But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight,“Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse  Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV.So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.My kinky companion, was up for some fun.I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone.No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick.I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back.It opens with ease, for you and your sack.I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty.Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table.Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!'Well imagine my shock, when later that night.I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear.‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear'I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free.His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride.Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.My night dress was lifted, my body left bare.Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan.Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home.By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore.If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more.Many strikes later, he decided to rise.I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there.Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal.Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'.Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor.‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!'His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered.‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded.Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice.We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied.He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride.But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?'I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen.A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass.And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass.Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen.Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen.I yet was astonished, on tinder to find.‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'.Thus read the message, from my kinky friend.That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.Night Before Christmas: ParodyBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house'Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse.Her stockings were flung on the end of the table,But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock.To shoot my load in an old ragged sock.From the upstairs, came a noise so gay,I jumped from my chair,  seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door'to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor.For a moment, arose such a hot burning,Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick.He was dressed in all red, Oh God it’s Saint Nick.His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red.My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught.I wasn’t upset though. I thought it was hot!He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice.She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head,Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed.He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free,He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick,She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick.At first he was slow, til she started to cum.He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack,And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back.He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.”He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave.It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.”Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy,we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet.he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jetI squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight.She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed.Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head.Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked,Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep.Both knew that this night, they’d not get much sleep.Laid out on his back, and watching her bob.His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit.She loves this good man, and she’ll never quit.Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view.Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke.Sometimes very deep, without any choke.Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball.He’s one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan.There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone.It’s starting to build, there is no turning back.His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes.And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads.And looking at him, with those loving eyes.His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose,A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes.She closes her mouth, He knows what’s to follow,One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy.She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy.For now it’s all over, his heart is in bliss.More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.My stockings seductively, laid on the chair,In vain hope he’d take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed.While visions of fucking, danced in my head.Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap!Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter’s nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter.I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter.Despite my attire, to the window I flew.Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show.I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below.And what to my wondering, eyes could I see.But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick.But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick.More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame.He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!"Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid.Come on my vixen, don’t try to look stupid.Come down to the porch! And open the door!Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain,I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain.Despite my frustration, I got back to bed.'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way.Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée.Then To my amazement, In trembling I found.The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe.Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show!Up I was bundled, and flung on my back.He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!It looked he’d already, been hard at the sherry!My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below.My best Christmas gift,  he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby.Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby.But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head.Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk.He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side.He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried.I came more than once, from his big woody ride.And then out he pulled, and over my belly.He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear.And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer.And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away."Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmasby  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;My panties were hung on the bedpost with care,As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed,As visions of huge cock danced in my head;My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip,I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound,I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound;And naked away, to the window I dashed,Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold,Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold.When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick,I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick.While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came,As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen!It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'!From the tip of my rod to the sack of my ballsI'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly;And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs;And started to spread and rub my bare lipsNow slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock,And knew at the front door awaited my cock.I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs,Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment;Entered the room and tore off my garment;And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch;My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth,His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath;I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry,And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quickHe knew it was time to show me his prick.He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly,And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand;When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand;So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat;I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk,And sliding his finger inside of my ass,I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor,And licked the last drops of cum like a whore.And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod,“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers,my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!”You'd already laid down your stockings with care,and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last,and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast,You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down,and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic,desiring our session of love to be drastic.Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft,you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared,when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared,The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass,as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air,as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere.I took in the view with a wilting erection,and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt;I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt,And taking the pot, knocking over my rum,I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed,to think that this Christmas, he well could have died;And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping,I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face,I reminded him, he had invaded our space.“And now come to think of it, where are the toys?“Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket,to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.)He walked to the chimney, and reaching within,unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?”He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,”and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong,he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree,and turning he gave me, a new DVD;there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case,and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door.I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor.where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare.beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side;you were already giving, your new dong a ride!And what had gone limp from our rude interruption,now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where;it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air.and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh,“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.No creature was stirring, not even a mouse.The stockings were worn by the woman with care,She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed,the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head.And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor,so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger.To her door he did wander, and gave it a push,Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander.looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder.Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair.This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake,but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake.He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle.which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver.decided to cup one, still she did not shiver.Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress.and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh.and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high.Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin,to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside.and with his free hand, then parted her thighs.And moving between, her legs he did shove.Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair,His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair.and into her pussy, his dick did so slam.then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved.Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove.She still was asleep, unaware of the world,so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head,And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed.He started to grunt, whilst having his fun.Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath,and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left.He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress,and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door,before looking round, til he finally swore.“Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”,then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so,soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow.But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light,“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas;And all through my house.The Candles were glowing;And I was quite soused.The fire was warm;And so was the brandy.As I wrapped up the gifts;I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie;Short silky and white.Hoping when Santa showed;He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs;I heard a deep groan.It sounded familiar;I let out a moan.I turned round to see;And what do you know.There stood my Santa;His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon;Round that cock so hard.And jumped off the couch;Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy;He laughed and came down.I untied that bow;And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present!I'm one happy wench.I sucked it then faster;my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet;L and licking my lips.Then, held mistletoe;while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couchWhere he laid me back.And thrust in his cock;All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said;Oh You like that I see.”I said,“Yes all though better;On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear;Anything that you wish.But first come here;Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly;Then I got on the floor.He teased so I begged;“Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie;Up over my ass.As he gave it a slap;I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year;You're so naughty but nice.”He shoved it in deep saying,“Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him,As he slammed into me.I didn't yet notice;Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came;my juices did flow.he pounded yet faster;deep as he could go.I came then again;and convulsed quite a bit.My fingers pressed hard;On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel;His dick start to swell.He smacked on my ass;And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty,that will suffice.and now here is something;For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight,And his cock shot a pop.I soon came again;begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted;I thought I might scream.Oh the wonderful pleasure;Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor,His hands in my hair,Then asleep by the fire,Without any care.As he was leaving;Before the sunlight.“Oh my darling;You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block;Nothing was stirring, except for my cock.Her panties were hung by the chimney with care,I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed,While visions of big boobs danced in my head.With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck,I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise,It sounded like girls and could not be boys.Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude,We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glowAnd gave my firm cock a good reason to grow;When, what should appear through my old reading glasses,But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick,I knew in a moment they wanted my dick.I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing,But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly!I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie!From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match,My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch;So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds,I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick,The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick.Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits,While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch,Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch;A sack full of toys she brought for the girls,It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry!Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry!The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor,They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me,They mounted my cock by the light of the tree.Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast,My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet,I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet.With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast,My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick,and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick.She lowered her pussy right onto my rod,We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best,My cock was now tired and needed a rest.With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early,She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple,My smile was so big and showed off my dimple.She moved to their clits, and then one by one,Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more,They eventually dressed and went for the door.But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight,“Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse  Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV.So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.My kinky companion, was up for some fun.I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone.No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick.I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back.It opens with ease, for you and your sack.I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty.Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table.Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!'Well imagine my shock, when later that night.I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear.‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear'I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free.His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride.Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.My night dress was lifted, my body left bare.Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan.Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home.By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore.If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more.Many strikes later, he decided to rise.I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there.Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal.Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'.Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor.‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!'His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered.‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded.Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice.We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied.He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride.But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?'I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen.A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass.And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass.Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen.Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen.I yet was astonished, on tinder to find.‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'.Thus read the message, from my kinky friend.That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.Night Before Christmas: ParodyBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house'Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse.Her stockings were flung on the end of the table,But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock.To shoot my load in an old ragged sock.From the upstairs, came a noise so gay,I jumped from my chair,  seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door'to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor.For a moment, arose such a hot burning,Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick.He was dressed in all red, Oh God it’s Saint Nick.His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red.My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught.I wasn’t upset though. I thought it was hot!He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice.She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head,Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed.He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free,He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick,She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick.At first he was slow, til she started to cum.He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack,And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back.He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.”He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave.It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.”Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy,we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet.he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jetI squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight.She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed.Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head.Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked,Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep.Both knew that this night, they’d not get much sleep.Laid out on his back, and watching her bob.His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit.She loves this good man, and she’ll never quit.Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view.Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke.Sometimes very deep, without any choke.Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball.He’s one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan.There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone.It’s starting to build, there is no turning back.His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes.And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads.And looking at him, with those loving eyes.His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose,A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes.She closes her mouth, He knows what’s to follow,One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy.She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy.For now it’s all over, his heart is in bliss.More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.My stockings seductively, laid on the chair,In vain hope he’d take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed.While visions of fucking, danced in my head.Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap!Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter’s nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter.I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter.Despite my attire, to the window I flew.Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show.I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below.And what to my wondering, eyes could I see.But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick.But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick.More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame.He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!"Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid.Come on my vixen, don’t try to look stupid.Come down to the porch! And open the door!Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain,I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain.Despite my frustration, I got back to bed.'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way.Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée.Then To my amazement, In trembling I found.The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe.Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show!Up I was bundled, and flung on my back.He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!It looked he’d already, been hard at the sherry!My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below.My best Christmas gift,  he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby.Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby.But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head.Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk.He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side.He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried.I came more than once, from his big woody ride.And then out he pulled, and over my belly.He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear.And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer.And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away."Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Episode 184 feat. Adam and Shug. Come send it with the boys, as we discuss - Fatherly love, Maccas, Unearthed High, Slap fights, Napoleon, Tinder, Mecca, Getting axed, Fapping on the beach, Matt Rife, Liz Hurley, Frozen penis awareness, and much more... Please forward all complaints to: bigsendpodcast@gmail.com 

Part 2 of our Special Summer Series: The Running Scared Podcast (RSP Ep. 6). Brian and Cliff talk Nannies, Cliff's Pants, Tiger Woods, Abortion (yeah, really), Great-Great-Great Grandparents, Fapping, Diabetes, Movie Theaters, and 7-11 Chicken Salad Sandwiches, wrapped up with another Lazy TikTok edit on this episode of UnNecessary Talk with Brian Sturges! Hosted by Brian Sturges ​@BrianSturges @MrBrianSturges http://www.briansturges.com With Cliff Beach @CliffBeachMusic @BlackCliffBeach http://www.cliffbeachmusic.com http://www.californiasoulmusic.com Cliff's book: https://www.amazon.com/Side-Hustle-Flow-Principles-Productive/dp/1915406005/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3K7GDXMDD9O0E&keywords=side+hustle+and+flow&qid=1655746796&sprefix=side+hustle+and+flow%2Caps%2C114&sr=8-1 Not At All Produced by Tim Hall | 1192 Studios @TimothyHallMusic @1192Studios @timhallisabitch http://www.TimothyHallMusic.com http://www.1192Studios.com Produced by Poor Life Choices Productions @PoorLifeChoicesProductions https://www.PoorLifeChoices.tv @UnNecessaryTalk http://www.UnNecessaryTalk.com More UnNecessary Brian Sturges Socials: Brian Sturges IMDb | https://www.imdb.me/briansturges Brian Sturges Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/mrbriansturges Brian Sturges Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mrbriansturges Brian Sturges Twitter | https://twitter.com/briansturges Brian Sturges Spotify Channel | https://open.spotify.com/artist/25q56skn2D4RM9l10JITPl Brian Sturges Pandora Channel | https://www.pandora.com/artist/briansturges/ARkwjPf2bX92fVV #UNT132 #UNT #UnNecessaryTalk #UnNecessaryTalkPodcast #BrianSturges #BrianSturgesComedy #MrBrianSturges #PoorLifeChoicesTV #PoorLifeChoicesProductions #PoorLifeChoicesComedy #TimothyHallMusic #1192Studios #CliffBeach #CliffBeachMusic #BlackCliffBeach #ComedyPodcast #Comedy #Podcast #fyp #Comedypodcast

YHOR discusses how the founder of Kellogg's tried to reduce masterbation by, making cereal, and other wild inventions. https://Linktr.ee/YourHouseOurRules Spillz Socials: https://Linktr.ee/Spillz Jeff's Socials: https://www.facebook.com/jeff.hoeh Bailey's Socials: https://linktr.ee/DJRedline 

Heal your brain from porn addiction in 30 days with my Free Porn Detox Course: https://romanmironov.com/free   I know how bad you feel after watching p**n. It makes you feel weak, depressed, lonely, and worthless.   Most people try to cure it by playing video games or watching TV but it just makes you more bored and leads to watching more porn.   Wake up❗STOP the vicious cycle now.   Take my Free Porn Detox Course to heal from porn and feel motivated for success now.   ►►► GET THE COURSE NOW: https://romanmironov.com/free   ———————————————- I am Porn Detox Coach Roman Mironov. This is my weekly live podcast. 1️⃣Ask any questions in the chat for immediate answers: How do you find no fapping motivation❔ Is NoFap worth trying❓ Can I jerk off without porn ❔ How do I quit masturbation for good❓ Where do I get No PMO help ❔ How do I stop consuming Internet porn compulsively ❔ How do I fight strong urges in the morning or at night ❓ Why do I feel depressed after quitting porn or excessive fapping ❔ How can I cope a NoFap flatline ❔ How do I start a porn detox ❓ What's your favorite No PMO motivation ❔ What are some benefits of no fapping ❔ What kind of a no fapping challenge can I do❓ Will I get more confident by quitting fapping ❔ How to cure erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation ❔ I keep relapsing. Any advice ❔ 2️⃣I will answer PMO questions followers asked this week. 3️⃣I will go deep into the topic of healing your brain. 4️⃣Please like to help others learn about it and join. 5️⃣Please tell us what your current no fapping streak is. ✔Begins Sunday 1 p.m. Eastern Time ✔YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/@HeIsHero ✔Check out also the recorded podcast episode I release during the week.   ———————————————- COMPANION BLOG: https://romanmironov.com/blog ———————————————- OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

Larry "Dick's In" Dixon joins us to discuss pretty much the title of this episode plus a few more drugs. The guys come up with a whole new Edward 40 hands concept.

Let's talk all about p***y pumps VR porn, no fapping?! and a whole lot more with Layla from the Curious Girl Diaries podcast. How do you use a use a p**** pump? Is VR porn everything it's cracked up to be? How many fingers is best when fingering? And, do guys really FAP??? Tune in to find out plus hear Kathy and Layla talk all about their experience with a p**** pump and how Layla felt about the one Kathy bought for her, the pros and cons about VR porn and their experiences with it, how and why finger size is important to Kathy when fingering, how Layla learned to squirt while fingering herself and how she figured it out, an update on Layla's girl on girl action as well as find out whether or not she's pegged her sub, how and why she's currently obsessed with a guy who has “the biggest d*** in the world,” how and why the amount of jizz a guy produces is important to Layla, how much they think guys masturbate and why Layla believes no fapping is in style and why Kathy disagrees plus a whole lot more. Make sure to listen in and then chime in on our debate. You can find Layla's private podcast here: https://www.thecuriousgirldiaries **To see anonymous pics LAYLA plus see anonymous pics of my female guests + gain access to my PRIVATE Discord channel where people get super naughty + get early access to all episodes + hear anonymous confessions, + gain access to my Discord channel, join my Patreon. It's only $5 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast Want to be on the show? Email me at strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss? Call the hotline at 347-420-3579. Want a private convo with me that won't be aired on the show? All calls are private, confidential and anonymous. Click here: https://calendly.com/strictlyanonymouspodcast/45min Sponsors: Get a generous sign-up bonus at MyBookie Casino https://mybookie.website/StrictlyAnonymous Want to have better S-E-X?! Who doesn't?! Use Promescent! https://promescent.com/strictlyanon Hear the hottest stories on Dipsea! 30 day FREE TRIAL https://www.dipseastories.com/strictlyanon Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Youtube https://www.youtube.com/c/StrictlyAnonymouspodcast Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn these do's and don'ts as you are going through your nofap transformation.   Heal your brain from porn addiction in 30 days with my Free Porn Detox Course: https://romanmironov.com/free   I know how bad you feel after watching p**n. It makes you feel weak, depressed, lonely, and worthless.   Most people try to cure it by playing video games or watching TV but it just makes you more bored and leads to watching more porn.   Wake up❗STOP the vicious cycle now.   Take my Free Porn Detox Course to heal from porn and feel motivated for success now.   ►►► GET THE COURSE NOW: https://romanmironov.com/free   ———————————————- I am Porn Detox Coach Roman Mironov. This is my weekly live podcast. 1️⃣Ask any questions in the chat for immediate answers: How do you find no fapping motivation❔ Is NoFap worth trying❓ Can I jerk off without porn ❔ How do I quit masturbation for good❓ Where do I get No PMO help ❔ How do I stop consuming Internet porn compulsively ❔ How do I fight strong urges in the morning or at night ❓ Why do I feel depressed after quitting porn or excessive fapping ❔ How can I cope a NoFap flatline ❔ How do I start a porn detox ❓ What's your favorite No PMO motivation ❔ What are some benefits of no fapping ❔ What kind of a no fapping challenge can I do❓ Will I get more confident by quitting fapping ❔ How to cure erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation ❔ I keep relapsing. Any advice ❔ 2️⃣I will answer PMO questions followers asked this week. 3️⃣I will go deep into the topic of healing your brain. 4️⃣Please like to help others learn about it and join. 5️⃣Please tell us what your current no fapping streak is. ✔Begins Sunday 1 p.m. Eastern Time ✔YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/@HeIsHero ✔Check out also the recorded podcast episode I release during the week.   ———————————————- COMPANION BLOG POST: https://romanmironov.com/nofap-motivation/ OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

Undo porn brain damage using a smart No Fapping strategy.   Heal your brain from porn addiction in 30 days with my Free Porn Detox Course: https://romanmironov.com/free   I know how bad you feel after watching p**n. It makes you feel weak, depressed, lonely, and worthless.   Most people try to cure it by playing video games or watching TV but it just makes you more bored and leads to watching more porn.   Wake up❗STOP the vicious cycle now.   Take my Free Porn Detox Course to heal from porn and feel motivated for success now.   ►►► GET THE COURSE NOW: https://romanmironov.com/free   ———————————————- I am Porn Detox Coach Roman Mironov. This is my weekly live podcast. 1️⃣Ask any questions in the chat for immediate answers: How do you find no fapping motivation❔ Is NoFap worth trying❓ Can I jerk off without porn ❔ How do I quit masturbation for good❓ Where do I get No PMO help ❔ How do I stop consuming Internet porn compulsively ❔ How do I fight strong urges in the morning or at night ❓ Why do I feel depressed after quitting porn or excessive fapping ❔ How can I cope a NoFap flatline ❔ How do I start a porn detox ❓ What's your favorite No PMO motivation ❔ What are some benefits of no fapping ❔ What kind of a no fapping challenge can I do❓ Will I get more confident by quitting fapping ❔ How to cure erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation ❔ I keep relapsing. Any advice ❔ 2️⃣I will answer PMO questions followers asked this week. 3️⃣I will go deep into the topic of healing your brain. 4️⃣Please like to help others learn about it and join. 5️⃣Please tell us what your current no fapping streak is. ✔Begins Sunday 1 p.m. Eastern Time ✔YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/@HeIsHero ✔Check out also the recorded podcast episode I release during the week.   ———————————————- COMPANION BLOG POST: https://romanmironov.com/nofap-motivation/ ———————————————- OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

How to build no fapping motivation❔   Heal your brain from porn addiction in 30 days with my Free Porn Detox Course: https://romanmironov.com/free   I know how bad you feel after watching p**n. It makes you feel weak, depressed, lonely, and worthless.   Most people try to cure it by playing video games or watching TV but it just makes you more bored and leads to watching more porn.   Wake up❗STOP the vicious cycle now.   Take my Free Porn Detox Course to heal from porn and feel motivated for success now.   ►►► GET THE COURSE NOW: https://romanmironov.com/free   ———————————————- I am Porn Detox Coach Roman Mironov. This is my weekly live podcast. 1️⃣Ask any questions in the chat for immediate answers: How do you build no fapping motivation❔ Is NoFap worthwhile at all ❓ Can I jack off without porn ❔ How do I quit jerking off for good❓ How can I get No PMO help ❔ How do I quit consuming Internet porn compulsively ❔ How do I resist strong urges in the morning or at night ❓ Why am I depressed after quitting porn or excessive fapping ❔ How to manage a NoFap flatline ❔ How do I begin a porn detox ❓ What's your best No PMO motivation ❔ What are some no fapping benefits❔ What kind of a no fapping challenge can I do❓ Will I get more confidence by quitting fapping ❔ How to cure erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation ❔ 2️⃣I will answer PMO questions followers asked this week. 3️⃣I will go deep into the topic of healing your brain. 4️⃣Please like to help others learn about it and join. 5️⃣Please tell us what your current no fapping streak is. ✔Begins Sunday 1 p.m. Eastern Time ✔YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/@HeIsHero ✔Check out also the recorded podcast episode I release during the week.   ———————————————- COMPANION BLOG POST: https://romanmironov.com/nofap-motivation/ ———————————————- OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

Heal your brain from porn in 30 days with my Free Porn Detox Course: https://romanmironov.com/free     I know how bad you feel after watching p**n. It makes you feel weak, depressed, lonely, and worthless.     Most people try to cure it by playing video games or watching TV but it just makes you more bored and leads to watching more porn.     Wake up❗STOP the vicious cycle now.     Take my Free Porn Detox Course to heal from porn and feel motivated for success now.     ►►► GET THE COURSE NOW: https://romanmironov.com/free     Join me on a walk around Casa Loma in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. You will see the CN Tower (far away, though), St. Clair Avenue, Spadina Road, Weston Road, and Davenport Road. I used self-talk to build a porn-free identity.  I also make sure to say to myself words that instill good qualities in me: strength, discipline, and hard work ethic. I also recommend using my “15 Minutes of Sacrifice” technique: Imagine yourself feeling unhappy or bored or lonely. And you want to escape this feeling using fapping. But how long does it last? On average, 15 minutes.  What happens after that? You feel even worse than when you started. And you have that bad feeling on average for 2 hours. So that's 15 minutes of pleasure vs. 2 hours of pain. That said, let's look at an alternative scenario. Again, you feel unhappy or bored and want to escape.     But this time, you spend the same 15 minutes not doing PMO. You choose to be strong. I know that is difficult… and painful. But afterward, you get 2 hours of pleasure because you feel good about making the right choice. That's 15 minutes of pain vs. 2 hours of pleasure. When you compare these two options, the choice is obvious. So next time you feel the fapping urge set a timer for 15 minutes and use positive self-talk. ---------------------------------------------- COMPANION BLOG POST https://romanmironov.com/no-pmo/ ---------------------------------------------- OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

Heal your brain from porn in 30 days with my Free Porn Detox Course: https://romanmironov.com/free   I know how bad you feel after watching p**n. It makes you feel weak, depressed, lonely, and worthless.   Most people try to cure it by playing video games or watching TV but it just makes you more bored and leads to watching more porn.   Wake up❗STOP the vicious cycle now.   Take my Free Porn Detox Course to heal from porn and feel motivated for success now.     ►►► GET THE COURSE NOW: https://romanmironov.com/free     Join me on a walk in Downtown Toronto, Ontario, Canada. You will see the Union Station, CN Tower, Ripley's Aquarium of Canada, Scotiabank Arena, and Rogers Centre. I will show you how I destroyed my life by wasting years on my addictions, including PMO. But then I quit fapping and realized these benefits: ✔ Tired → More energy. I used to feel tired all the time. But after quitting PMO, I reclaimed my energy. ✔ Self-hatred → Loving life. I hated myself for being weak and sleeping my porn secretive. But I broke free and now live a good life that I enjoy. ✔ Anxious → More confidence. I used to have a lot of insecurities and porn only made them worse. By stopping porn, I increased my confidence. ✔ Feeling dead → Heightened senses. My senses were dulled before getting rid of PMO. But after I was free, I felt that my senses heightened. ✔ Unmotivated → Making more money. Excessive fapping used to kill my motivation. I quit it and found the motivation to move from a third-world country to Canada at the age of 36. ✔ Lonely → Getting a girlfriend. I felt very lonely and thought porn would help but it only made things worse. When I quit PMO, I got a girlfriend and felt real love. ✔ Brain fog → Better concentration & creativity. Overstimulating myself with porn caused brain fog. I went NoFap and reclaimed my cognitive performance. ✔ Worsening health → Better hair, skin, memory, and erection. I noticed that my erection wasn't strong enough. I quit fapping and stopped myself from developing erectile dysfunction. I got my morning wood back. ✔ Insomnia → Better sleep, vivid dreams. My sleep used to be irregular because of PMO. After quitting, my REM and deep sleep improved. I have more willpower because I sleep well. ✔ Weak → Stronger. On NoFap, I saw my gym results improve and I felt physically stronger. You don't have to make my mistakes all over again, destroying your brain and life. Quit porn and excessive fapping now and get the same benefits that I did. ---------------------------------------------- COMPANION BLOG POST https://romanmironov.com/nofap-benefits/ ---------------------------------------------- OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

Heal your brain from porn addiction in 30 days with my Free Porn Detox Course: https://romanmironov.com/free   I know how bad you feel after watching p**n. It makes you feel weak, depressed, lonely, and worthless.   Most people try to cure it by playing video games or watching TV but it just makes you more bored and leads to watching more porn.   Wake up❗STOP the vicious cycle now.   Take my Free Porn Detox Course to heal from porn and feel motivated for success now.   ►►► GET THE COURSE NOW: https://romanmironov.com/free ———————————————- Paul G Newton https://www.paulgnewton.com/ ———————————————- I am Porn Detox Coach Roman Mironov. This is my weekly live podcast. 1️⃣Ask any questions in the chat for immediate answers: How much time does it take to heal a brain from pornography ❓ Is NoFap worth the effort❓ Can I fap without watching porn ❔ How do I stop masturbating ❓ Where can I get No PMO help ❔ How do I stop watching Internet porn mindlessly❔ How do I fight strong urges at night ❓ Why do I feel depressed after quitting porn or excessive masturbation❓ How to deal with a NoFap flatline ❔ How can I do a porn detox ❓ What's your top No PMO motivation ❔ What kind of a no fapping challenge can I take on ❓ Will I get more confident by quitting fapping ❔ 2️⃣I will answer PMO questions asked on YouTube and Instagram this week. 3️⃣I will go deep into the meditation topic. 4️⃣Please like to help others learn about it and join. 5️⃣Please tell us what your current no fapping streak is. ✔Begins Sunday 1 p.m. Eastern Time ✔YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTpjfwxdtmsJ78QiPGMrsOQ ✔Check out also the recorded podcast episode I release during the week.   ———————————————- What are the Top 10 No fapping benefits ❔ Tired → More energy Self-hatred → Loving life Anxious → More confidence Feeling dead → Heightened senses Unmotivated → Making more money Brain fog → Better concentration & creativity Lonely → Getting a girlfriend Worsening health → Better hair, skin, memory, and erection Insomnia → Better sleep Weak → Better results at the gym ———————————————- COMPANION BLOG POST: https://romanmironov.com/porn-free/ ———————————————- OTHER VIDEOS YOU MIGHT LIKE:

One teenage and two adult man friends gather around to fap dry Discord server - https://discord.gg/X94h4XWKMQ Timestamps 00:00:00 Intro 00:01:10 Abohawa update 00:13:20 Rishat buys a new Valorant account 00:32:50 Ministry of Truth 00:48:05 How to use your AC in your bathroom 00:51:10 LSD kheye world tour 01:19:10 Fapping dry 01:21:40 Things we like corner 01:28:40 Outro Things mentioned Ms. Marvel (TV show) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ms._Marvel_(TV_series) Super Mario 64 (Video game) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_64 Super Mario Bros 3 (Video game) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Bros._3 1984 (Book) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nineteen_Eighty-Four Metal Gear Solid 2 (Video game) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_Gear_Solid_2:_Sons_of_Liberty The Simpsons (TV show) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Simpsons Charlie and the chocolate factory (2005 Film) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_and_the_Chocolate_Factory_(film) Avengers Earth's Mightiest Heroes (TV show) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Avengers:_Earth%27s_Mightiest_Heroes BioShock (Video game) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/BioShock BioShock Infinite (Video game) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/BioShock_Infinite Two Cents Podcast - https://youtube.com/@2centspodcastofficial Singham (Film) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singham Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild (Video game) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Legend_of_Zelda:_Breath_of_the_Wild Genshin Impact (Video game) - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genshin_Impact Listening to the show on iTunes/Spotify/Google Podcasts/YouTube really helps the podcast gain exposure iTunes - http://bit.ly/DUHonApplePodcasts Spotify - http://bit.ly/DUHonSpotify Google Podcasts - http://bit.ly/DUHonGooglePodcasts Saavn - https://bit.ly/DUHonSaavn YouTube - http://bit.ly/DUHonYouTube 2nd channel - http://bit.ly/DUHBoysOnYouTube Support the podcast through Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/duhabp or bKash or Nagad +8801943914563 DUH on social medias: Facebook page - https://bit.ly/DUHonFacebook Instagram - https://bit.ly/DUHonInstagram Twitter - https://bit.ly/DUHonTwitter TikTok - http://bit.ly/DUHonTikTok Apurbo YouTube - http://bit.ly/ApurbosYouTube Facebook profile - http://bit.ly/ApurbosFBprofile Instagram - http://bit.ly/ApurbosInstagram Twitter - http://bit.ly/ApurbosTwitter MyAnimeList - https://myanimelist.net/profile/ApurboTheA1 Grouvee - https://www.grouvee.com/user/105735-ApurboTheA1/ Rishat YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFwHfBWsOZEW3cKFh_BWZaw YouTube - https://youtube.com/channel/UCJ2S-k0MBh3Pn5Jhdq_s1OA Ishmum Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCssbWLyz9JYIbGGGxxknnOg Instagram - https://instagram.com/kuddus.mia.42069?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Twitter - https://twitter.com/Beeg_Nontu MyAnimeList - https://myanimelist.net/profile/BeegNontu Grouvee - https://www.grouvee.com/user/123182-Dipjolfan42069/ Thumbnail photo by Idriss Meliani: https://www.pexels.com/photo/green-trees-between-white-concrete-buildings-2982449/ Bangladesh, Bangladeshi, Bangladeshi podcasts, Podcasts in Bangladesh, Bangla podcast, Bengali podcast, Podcast Bangla, Podcast, Bengal podcast, What is podcast Bangla, DUHABP, Ashrafuzzaman Apurbo, eatabrick, Some retard, duhabp #DUHABP #BengaliPodcast #BangladeshiPodcast #BanglaPodcast --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/duhabp/message

LC & Bakko, worried they might offend Kid Rock, Travis Tritt and others, bite their tongues over fear of being cancelled. Plus. Fapping to Janis Joplin. Gym nudity. The latest KISS Soundboard. The new Metallica. Ace Frehley goes off the rails... again. Mars v. Crue. Gene Simmons doesn't hydrate & more. Pantheon Podcasts Reach out to us! Rate, review and subscribe at Apple Podcasts: Cobras & Fire: Comedy / Rock Talk Show on Apple Podcasts Join our fanpage on Facebook: (2) Cobras ON Fire: Private Group | Facebook Click like and follow on Facebook: (2) Cobras & Fire: Rock Podcast | Chicago IL | Facebook Follow us on Twitter: Best Hard Rock & Metal Podcast (@CobrasFire) / Twitter Subscribe to our YouTube channel: Cobras & Fire Rock Podcast - YouTube Email us: loosebakko@gmail.com Buy a shirt!:"Cobras and Fire Podcast" T-shirt for Sale by CobrasandFire | Redbubble | cobras and fire t-shirts - cobras fire t-shirts Stitcher: Cobras & Fire: Comedy / Rock Talk Show on Stitcher Spreaker: Cobras & Fire: Comedy / Rock Talk Show | Listen to Podcasts On Demand Free | TuneIn Find it all here: Cobras and Fire Podcast - Comedy Rock Talk Show Music: RFK All Stars - American Thunder Thumpasaurus - Struttin' Matellica - 72 Seasons Ace Frehley - New York Groove Motley Crue - Knock Em Dead Kid Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

LC & Bakko, worried they might offend Kid Rock, Travis Tritt and others, bite their tongues over fear of being cancelled. Plus. Fapping to Janis Joplin. Gym nudity. The latest KISS Soundboard. The new Metallica. Ace Frehley goes off the rails... again. Mars v. Crue. Gene Simmons doesn't hydrate & more. Pantheon Podcasts Reach out to us! Rate, review and subscribe at Apple Podcasts: Cobras & Fire: Comedy / Rock Talk Show on Apple Podcasts Join our fanpage on Facebook: (2) Cobras ON Fire: Private Group | Facebook Click like and follow on Facebook: (2) Cobras & Fire: Rock Podcast | Chicago IL | Facebook Follow us on Twitter: Best Hard Rock & Metal Podcast (@CobrasFire) / Twitter Subscribe to our YouTube channel: Cobras & Fire Rock Podcast - YouTube Email us: loosebakko@gmail.com Buy a shirt!:"Cobras and Fire Podcast" T-shirt for Sale by CobrasandFire | Redbubble | cobras and fire t-shirts - cobras fire t-shirts Stitcher: Cobras & Fire: Comedy / Rock Talk Show on Stitcher Spreaker: Cobras & Fire: Comedy / Rock Talk Show | Listen to Podcasts On Demand Free | TuneIn Find it all here: Cobras and Fire Podcast - Comedy Rock Talk Show Music: RFK All Stars - American Thunder Thumpasaurus - Struttin' Matellica - 72 Seasons Ace Frehley - New York Groove Motley Crue - Knock Em Dead Kid Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdA0oZPOSZLFLOj7VoVfwspnc6iIoj0z2 I've done No Fapping for 8 Years. Watch or listen to this podcast to get my best insights and motivation. I will answer these questions from followers: Cindy:  May I ask at what age you stopped pmo ❓And how many years have you resisted? it's M Music:  I broke my streak on the night of New year—he first day of 2023. From then I've been just breaking my no fapping streak. I have no self-control. I used to go 10 days or more but now I can't even go for 2 days without fapping. I don't know why. Yash: Does it decrease the sperm count if someone masturbates for a long period and what are the chances of prostate cancer ❓ Stephen: It mainly sticks with the frequent boredom I have when I work from home and when I'm alone specifically. Jordan: What are some techniques to stop PMO before going to bed I am starting to have trouble going to sleep ❓I am having to masturbate before bed and am needing some advice on how to stop.  Debdarsha: My frequency of watching porn is usually 1-2 hours twice a week, so do you think this perhaps a somewhat controlled habit will increase my odds of quitting it for good ❓ Peng JiDion: Does nofap help with social anxiety ❓Before I really didn't have social anxiety but after 3-4 years of this addiction do I get social skills back or is this permanent❓ I try to avoid people all the time scared, to do anything in public. pieceOfmind: I am back on the first day of no fapping with a new strategy. This time I think it will truly work. Instagram and overall internet spark too much dopamine and too many triggers for pornography (sexy women etc) so in order to not relapse, each time I come home I lock my phone in a box and I put the key away. Sounds extreme but i won't trigger myself if I don't use social media and cell phone. MARRURA_3: I knew that I was addicted when I started watching gay or shemale videos and I am a straight guy

Tinyhats got a new tattoo and she was saved by a dog at the age of three. There's political talk of right wing and left wing, more J.K. Rowling sliding in and Ircha did a blood-type test. Influencers in Norway are doing cocaine. Have you ever felt lonely? Let's talk about your social needs.(00:00) Intro(03:06) Feedback about supporting Hogwarts Legacy (JK Rowling)(12:38) “You are free to fap about and do whatever you want”(15:02) Scandinavian dialect, previous prime minister and political views (Right/Left)(20:32) TINYHATS SURVIVAL STORY(26:37) Vasovagal syncope and blood type tests(36:38) Celebrities doing cocaine (Norwegian influencers and the whole debate)(55:20) Our social needs - How often do you feel you have to hang out with people? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Another Wednesday, another episode. This one takes a little bit more of a serious turn. As Sergio and the boys (Matt & Kharl) talk about missed opportunities, regrets and past decisions. However, as the episode goes on they also open up about taking risks, self pleasure, being comfortable with a partner and much much more.As per usual, grab some popcorn, relax and enjoy!Love,SergioSupport the showPatreon (More Episodes):WATCH BONUS EPISODES Make sure to enjoy the full experience and watch us on YouTube More of us:

Here's how to quit fapping. “I hate watching pron. I will crush my phone to prevent watching it!” That's what a follower Ice Wizard shared about his struggles with p*rn. And it's not at all. He continues: “I am 16. I have watched pron for 2.5 years. I managed to stop for half a year.  I feel very happy when I am free from porn, and when I fail, I try better next time.  Sometimes, I do fail multiple times (2-5 days) but then I pull myself together. I don't want to give up because I do this for god and for myself.

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused.The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan.I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go.I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care.As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODYBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!“Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. ‘Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused.The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan.I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go.I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care.As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODYBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!“Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. ‘Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Thanks to Arif's birthday, the crew was forced to shut down but they are back and ready for more uninteresting topics. The crew catches us up on what we missed during their hiatus and boy was its it a lot... kinda.  Professor Arif self-reflects and asks the pod if his addiction to the FAPPING is something to be worried about and things get sticky... Find out what's on everyone's bucket list and see how long Stephen wants to live til... Catch up with the Titles Are Overrated crew for all the fun talks.Music Segment (only available on audio) PlaylistsApple Playlist | SpotifyThanks to our sponsor: Essence Haus Get 15% when you use promo code: TITLESAREOVERRATED15 on your next candle purchase... and light up your life! Thanks for listening! Don't forget to visit our YouTube page for full episode every Friday 8PM. Follow us @ Titles Are Overrated - Instagram

This week we discuss Otakon 2022, Mike is disappointed in The Devil is a Part-Timer season 2 but thrilled with Clouds, and Scott discusses the animated rock opera Inu-Oh.

The Boys are back for another episode of Nombre Shutup. On this episode we have 2 different beers from Sierra Nevada Brewing: Wild Little Thing & Big Little Thing. Pause. Somehow we start talking about the most bingeable shows we have watched all the way to our porn watching faces. Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4tA6... Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openbarpod/

So you married a dirty dog. Now what?This week, we're going over a guide on getting your husband to stop watching porn. Unsurprisingly, we don't approve of it one bit!Also: the secret to being the hottest Pokemon fan.If you're going to ruin your marriage over porn, you might as well be watching the good stuff! Check out Adult Time - and use the code LOVEEMMA when you sign up to get a great deal on the world's best smut!https://www.g2fame.com/adulttime/go.php?pr=8&su=1&si=247&ad=274626&pa=index&ar=&buffer=Relevant Links: How to Get Your Husband to Stop Looking at Porn (WikiHow)How to Not Get Caught Looking at Porn (WikiHow)***Want to become one of our Friends With Benefits? Check out the Pillow Talk Patreon for bonus episodes, porn watchalongs, and early access! https://www.patreon.com/PillowTalkPodcastAnd check out other podcast, What's The Deal With Fucking? (A Seinfeld Sex Podcast)! https://anchor.fm/WTDWF ***I write about sex on my blog Love, Emma and on Medium!Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube!Subscribe to my newsletter for personal updates and other fun, naughty stuff!Peep at my OnlyFans page or my JustFor.Fans profile for something even dirtier!Follow Jake on Twitter!Check out the Pillow Talk merch store!Email: mister.j.austin@gmail.com*** Music from https://filmmusic.io"Deadly Roulette" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)Support the show

Today we have Neuroscientist Dr. Trish Leigh. We talk about how porn damages the brain, fixing porn addiction, NoFap, birth of fetishes, most people fap compulsively, how to fap healthily, creating new neuropathways, developing healthier relationships, pair-bonding, The Butterfly Effect, extreme sports, dangers of edging, and more.

Chris and Paul Pescrillo (http://www.ToonamiFaithful.com) discuss the 10 year anniversary, jobs, gig drivers, price of gas, The SLAP, Chris Rock, Will Smith, Oscars, Jada Pinkett Smith, kiss, reporter, hypocrite, inspirational, cuck, recorded without permission, Demon Knight, Wicked Wizdom, Covid, Elon Musk, Twitter, Trump, free speech, insurrection, Netflix, profiles, advertisements, comicsetc.biz/ , www.legionpodcasts.com/cinema-psyops/ Gilbert Gottfried, Toonami, Aristocrats, Mike Tyson, airplane, punch, Wrestlemania, Becky Lynch, Vince McMahon, Stone Cold, Steve Austin, Stunner, Moon Knight, Thor Love and Thunder, Our Flag Means Death, The Batman, Ezra Mill, Grant Gustin

Welcome to this weeks episode where we cover a bunch of random topics in an effort to give you all some content, and hopefully make you laugh. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thedisgruntledsailor/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thedisgruntledsailor/support

What's adult entertainment without a little porn? This episode is inspired by fellow podcasters "Pornstache podcast".   Pixie and Mister J track down the world's worst and best porn parodies. Including terrible spoofs of: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. The Jeffersons Ghostbusters Star Wars  And many more...   Any of these worth Fapping to? You'll have to tune in to find out.   Fold your dollars and grab a beer.......Next On Stage One!    Weekly podcasts can now be found on Spotify, iTunes, and Pandora  And now Youtube Facebook Twitter   Music Artist: Chuy   Stripper, dancer, pole, humor, Ghostbusters, strip clubs, sex work, Denver Colorado, women, porn, Star Wars, showgirls, nightlife, burlesque, video vixens, tiktok, bar, playboy, nude, beer, familystrokes, sex doll, only fans, pole dancers, parodies, xxx  

Trev and Blau get really scientific in this one. They learn about Uteran Walls and ovulation, debate whether Jason Derulo cums his own name, and discuss the top 5 hottest women of all time. They also hear from a listener about how circle jerks are good and Michael gets the nickname Raw Dog Ralph. Get tickets to Stiff Socks LIVE in NYC at https://thestandnyc.com/shows/show/3294/20211109-1000-pm-the-stiff-socks-podcast Get 4 bonus episodes a month and instant access to the Patreon back catalog for $5 at www.patreon.com/stiffsockspod Thanks to Manscaped for sponsoring this episode. Get 20% off at www.manscaped.com/stiff Thanks to Crowdhealth for sponsoring this episode. Get your first month free at www.joincrowdhealth.com/fit with promo code SOCKS. Thanks to Lucy for sponsoring this episode. Get 20% off your order at www.lucy.co with promo code SOCKS. 

w/ Zaid Jilani, former reporter at The Intercept and current substacker (inquiremore.com)Kmele, missing in a mudslide?Zaid, the most left-wing staffer at the Center for American ProgressCable news is horrible / Jeff Toobin slays white supremacySchool board chaos in VirginiaCreating wee lil' apparatchiksWhy do we care about the stupid VA governor's race?Words don't mean anything anymore, part 322We are all India-Pakistan nowThe steady hand in DC is trembling Dumb Republicans still have no economic programDear lord, she's wearing a vest!The collapsing Biden economic agendaIs Kyrsten Sinema a bad politician? Bad dresser? Bad bisexual?Matt discovers his white privilege (and he likes it) Recorded: 10/28/21Posted: 10/28/21 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

r/TIFU - by FAPPING in front of my neighbor r/TIFU - by staying the night at my boyfriend's and taking a massive burly-ass shit that for the love of God wouldn't go down the drain. Find out more on this episode of OKOP with Samuel Donner and John Frye!

r/TIFU - by FAPPING in front of my neighbor r/TIFU - by staying the night at my boyfriend's and taking a massive burly-ass shit that for the love of God wouldn't go down the drain. Find out more on this episode of OKOP with Samuel Donner and John Frye!

Does Fapping Before Sex Help You Last Longer?? "Being a two-pump chump is a guy's worst nightmare." Healthline Article: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/masturbating-before-sex#masturbation-as-foreplay FOLLOW AUXORO (INSTA): https://www.instagram.com/auxoro/FOLLOW AUXORO (FB): https://www.facebook.com/auxoromag/FOLLOW AUXORO (TWITTER): https://twitter.com/AuxoromagFOLLOW AUXORO (TikTok): https://www.tiktok.com/@auxoroAUXORO NEWSLETTER: https://www.auxoro.com/thesourceAUXORO MERCH: https://www.auxoro.com/storeWEBSITE/BLOG: https://www.auxoro.com/AUXORO PODCAST (guest conversations): https://www.flow.page/auxoro 

Hey lovelies! On today's episode I talk about how shitty purity culture is and self pleasure as resistance to society's patriarchal conceptions of sex. There's also a few tips about self pleasure with a small lesson in the female anatomy of the clitoris. I hope yall enjoy!

Luke and Andrew return from labor day fapping at the bit to talk about the latest news. Wait, fapping means what??!