Podcast appearances and mentions of mark baratelli

Orlando Actors David Almeida & Matthew Arter re-watch another episode of “The Facts Of Life” — so you don't have to. This week we welcome actor-improvisor-singer-dancer-funny-guy Mark Baratelli! (His fourth appearance on the show!)Transcript of the episode at Subtitles Like ScriptsConnect with Let's Face The Facts: Website • Facebook • Instagram • TwitterSupport Let's Face The Facts: PayPal • Venmo • CashApp • PatreonConnect with Matthew Arter: Facebook • Instagram Next Week's Episode: S7 E23 “The Graduate” (5/3/86)Watch it for free: DailyMotion.com • Pluto TVDon't forget to SUBSCRIBE, RATE, and REVIEW!

Orlando Actors David Almeida & Matthew Arter re-watch another episode of “The Facts Of Life” — so you don't have to. This week we welcome back actor-director-educator-everything Tim Williams!No transcript of the episode at Subtitles Like Scripts this week.

Mark and I discuss and/or mention in passing: Wine, A.D.D., Coma Brownies, Laura Hodos, #UglyCakes©™®, Asaad Kelada, Jerry Mayer, Estrus, Cocoon, Delta Burke, Designing Women, Drinking And Driving, M.A.D.D., Big Machers, Kevin Rodney Sullivan, Fame, The West Wing, Riverdale, Grey’s Anatomy, How To Get Away With Murder, The Good Fight, Modern Family, Sabrina, Titans, Barbershop 2, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Rob Reiner, All In The Family, When Harry Met Sally, Buckaroo Banzai, Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan, More American Graffiti, Night Shift, Happy Days, Phi Beta Kappa, Michael Harrington, Pat Harrington Jr., One Day At A Time, IKEA, Woolworth’s, Aaron Eckhart, Charles In Charge, CHiPs, Newhart, Who’s The Boss, St. Elsewhere, The Colbys, Santa Barbara, Beverly Hills Cop, Little Darlings, Jodie Foster, Kristy MacNichol, Tatum O’Neal, Sissy Spacek, Mariah Carey, Precious, Glitter, George Clooney, Rosemary Clooney, Epcot, Solar Greenhouses, Shelley Long, Chuck from Happy Days, Byron Allen, Kyle T. Heffner, John Belushi, Animal House, George Costanza, Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Geri Jewell, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, E.T., Listen To The Land, Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?, The Amway Arena, Robert Alda, Guys and Dolls, Alan Alda, Dallas, Dynasty, Starbucks, Betty Ford, Puppy Chow.Visit Mark’s Website: TheDailyCity.ComConnect with Let’s Face The Facts! Website • Twitter • Instagram • Facebook • Patreon

The rise of app based food delivery services has sparked the development of a new kind of kitchen. Ghost kitchens are changing the culinary landscape.  On this episode of Intersection, 90.7’s Matthew Peddie talks about this revolution in the restaurant world with the pioneer of Orlando’s food truck scene, Daily City publisher Mark Baratelli;  chef and co-founder of Ghost Kitchen Orlando, Jay Nartowicz; and East End Market Chef in Residence Jessica Tantalo.  One of the first stories Talbert Gray was sent out to cover was a Ku Klux Klan rally. Gray was the first black television news person in commercial TV in Florida, and he says covering that particular story almost made him reconsider his career. He talks about his experience ...

President Donald Trump plans his re-election campaign launch– in Orlando. Former Broward County sheriff’s deputy Scott Peterson is arrested on charges including child neglect for his role in the Parkland school shooting. And state attorney Aramis Ayala isn’t running for re-election– so who’s vying for the role of top prosecutor in Orange and Osceola County? On this episode of Intersection, we go behind the headlines with political analysts Jason Henry and Frank Torres. Then- do you love farmers markets… but hate the summer heat? Daily City publisher Mark Baratelli may have the answer. This weekend he launches his newest concept for Orlando—an indoor farmer’s market. Baratelli says it will allow sipping and shopping for local produce without the sweat. And ...

Mark & I discuss and/or mention in passing: The Daily City, Orlando Flea, Jeff Jones, The Great Carnac, The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson, Rona Barrett, Barbara Walters, James Taylor, Billy Joel, Neil Diamond, Reba McEntire, Carly Simon, The Cosby Show, Bonnie Franklin, One Day At A Time, Ricardo Montalban, Fantasy Island, Cathy Lee Crosby, Wonder Woman, Sheriff Lobo, Newhart, Neil Simon, A Streetcar Named Desire, Tennessee Williams, Robert Mandan, The Peace Corps.

In episode 323, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn are joined by Steve Etchie and returning guest Mark Baratelli from The Daily City Show and Orlando Flea! Chris and Drew review Captive State. Drew watched Triple Frontier on Netflix, Steve watched Treehouse on Hulu and Mark watched Jakeyonce on Instagram and a Johnny Carson documentary on... The post #323 – Orlando Flea appeared first on Cinema Crespodiso.

Mark and I discuss and/or mention in passing: Nancy McKeon, Fonzie, Penny Marshall, Kim Fields, Living Single, Queen Latifah, Kim Coles, Show Titles, The Golden Girls, Betty White, Delta Burke, Designing Women, “They Shoot Fat Girls, Don’t They?”, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Cheers, bumper jokes before theme songs, Brooke Shields, Calvin Klein jeans, Gloria Vanderbilt, black denim jeans, Mrs. Garrett impressions, parting with our phones, the tan-brown-ness of the 1970s, Mrs. Garrett’s ponytail, Gibson girl hair, Sex And The City, Hot Dude Fat Chick, The Daily City Food Truck Bazaar, Orlando Flea, Confection-Fest, James Lipton, The Three Stooges, The Curly Shuffle, chicken fingers, asian spoons, bananas, Cheers, Jesus Christ Superstar, Ted Neely, and Judy Garland.

In episode 283, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn are joined by returning guest and host of The Daily City podcast, Mark Baratelli! Chris and Drew review First Reformed, Hereditary and Ocean’s 8. The Streaming Pick of the Week is The Bourne Ultimatum. Dr. Drew gives his two cents on people going to see Hereditary. Billy... The post #283 – The Secret Lives of Crespo Pets appeared first on Cinema Crespodiso.

In episode 257, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn are joined by returning guest Mark Baratelli, from the Daily City and Orlando Opinions! The Streaming Pick of the Week is Romper Stomper on Amazon Prime. Chris and Drew The Disaster Artist. Dr. Drew gives his two cents on staying warm when it is cold outside. The... The post #257 – Dinosaurs of Mars appeared first on Cinema Crespodiso.

We talk about the latest Scotch and Good Conversation with "Marc With a C",  Announce the new "Orlando Opinions" podcast with Mark Baratelli, PFTv starting up on YouTube with Billy D's Post Mortem and we speak with Drewster Cogburn from Cinema Crespodiso about his imitation of the Double Down sandwich from KFC.

In episode 224, Chris Crespo and Drewster Cogburn are joined by first time guest from The Daily City, Mark Baratelli! The Streaming pick of the week is Mission: Impossible on Hulu Plus. Chris and Drew review Free Fire. Dr. Drew gives his two cents on fighting inanimate objects. The Crespodisco features two songs from the... The post #224 – Orlando is Wonderful appeared first on Cinema Crespodiso.

MARK BARATELLI sings, he sing loud & he sings often. at first its off-putting, but if you hang out with him for a little while you're gonna find yourself singing along at some point. you're also gonna find yourself laughing. outspoken, in your face, irreverent & hilarious, MARK is a great spokesman for orlando on his […]

In this episode, Josh Elledge & Bryan Orr will share the story of the final Starter Studio interviews and you’ll meet the startups and learn the eight are that are accepted! What does it take to get accepted into an accelerator program like Starter Studio? Our panel will shine the spotlight and get to know lots of startups applying for this season’s Starter Studio. Among those you’ll meet are: - Ricky Alphonse and his wearable company Advancing Technology - Arielle Cohen with her social music platform Zuke - Ron Ben-Zeev and David Pankros and the multi location connection engine SQYGL - Chris Gilhooley and Cole Brickley of MoversAtlas - Thomas Waterman with his social giving application BackStory - Jolene Taracatac and her fashion app Style Squad - Bryan Holmes with the unique mouse product Mouse Melon - And finally Mark Baratelli and BigBoxOf You’ll learn who the panel responded to by saying, “They should quit while they know everything.” and “Not just no… but Hell no.” MORE: http://www.StarterStudio.com A special thanks to our platinum sponsors: The University of Central Florida and Withum - audit tax advisory firm. #Tech #Startup #Incubator #Accelerator #StarterStudio #Angel #Business #Orlando #UCF

Taking art on the road in a U-Haul trailer. We chat with Mark Baratelli, editor of the local arts website TheDailyCity.com, about his occasional art gallery on wheels.

Whether self-appointed or unofficially elected by the local arts community, professional actor and improv comedian Mark Baratelli has ideas about how to make Orlando a vibrant cultural scene. Told with passion, humor and snark, Baratelli's tough-love message bears a surprising amount of weight.

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

An on-the road-recording

I'm calm, cool, collected and caring about you. Please pause for a double stack and a six pack. Regret is something I know a lot about. If you regret your past in the future, your future will be full of regret. I can't bend your arm backwards and break it. I can only hurt your feelings. I have clients and have control over their entire life. I baby them and they are wealthy enough to pay for it. You have to listen to with your ears not your brain. A horrible waft of shat. Imagine all of your problems as poop and you have shat your pants with emotional distress. You can wipe it all over yourself. It's so thick. If you want it, you'll get it. if you don't get it, that means you didn't want it enough. Failure is something we choose not to do. The things that people who fail do do are the things people who win don't do. So sick of people judging me for driving drunk. I chose to live the life of a humble man. A servant of God don't drive no Beemer. A three-wheeler on Sunday. You are a beautiful blue Marlin jumping out of the water and into life. The water is hell...but life is heaven. Audio Show: -Itunes -RSS Websites: -How Do You Feel? on myspace -Produced by Mark Baratelli

I am not a miracle worker. You're a special flower growing in a garden of weeds. Most people around you are wrong. If only the world could work the way you see it working, wouldn't it be a better place? Communicate with talking. Bothered by women in bikinis. Those things that make us different are the things that make us unique. Corporate lawyers retire at 45. You ever think of popcorn? If you took your eating time and instead worked on being a better person, imagine how good you'd be. Increased moments of feeling good add up to being happy. I am a wizard. What is a car that doesn't work? $2.71? Is that with tax? Their son is retarded. Parents lie to children. Santa Claus is a secret. Life sucks is a secret. Is 1-12 the only age a human being can believe in a lie? No. Santa Claus never told you "I'm fake." Santa ain't Netflix. We're all animals. Adult mouth-sized straw. Here's your Emmy. You better watch your mate. How Do you Feel Lifestyle Compound. What is special about you? Monogamy is a lie. It keeps us all from humping around too much. Thats why AIDS was created. Thats in the bible. The bed industry wants you to have a bigger bed. How Do You Feel? -Podcast in Itunes -Podcast RSS Podcast on Myspace Produced by Mark Baratelli

I'm too lazy to do show notes but not too lazy to say a prayer for you. You're welcome. How Do You Feel? Podcast in Itunes Podcast RSS Podcast on Myspace Produced by Mark Baratelli

Why is your misery still here? Today is that day. If only. The time is right now. Rome wasn't built in a day. New York City didn't exist until it said it was New York City. It is the birthplace of art. What are you the birthplace of? Blogging tips. I'm not your friend. You're a fat poor person who will not make a difference in this world until you put up your own finish line. What if? They know change will happen. Pretty soon you'll be dead. There are no steps. You've raced towards failure...and you lost. Decide you are done running the misery race you've lost. Stop following your instincts. Change is like a necklace you didn't even know you were wearing. I will become someone I wasn't born to be. Audio Show: -on Itunes -RSS How Do You Feel? on myspace.com Produced by Mark Baratelli

Excitement prevents Cancer. Assignment: make a list of 400 things to be excited about today. My friends Meg and Paul are miserable. I have never wanted to hid kids like I do with their kids. They created their own misery. You are not the saddest person you know. If you are miserable, you've go friends who are miserable. The grass is always browner if you make it so. Blah blah blah horsesehoes. I'm a doctor even though I'm not one because I have cured people of emotional obesity. The young person was put to rest. I blame myself for not becoming a doctor. You have to value yourself in order to bring about change. Dumba** changes their mind. I love to see people smile. I like to see the change happen in people. If I could reach through this phone and snap off your nose, I would. Change is possible if you value yourself enough to spend the time to make the change happen. That spit in the palm of your hand is my hand in yours. Hold that spit in your hand. That spit is me. Podcast in Itunes Podcast RSS How Do You Feel? on myspace.com Produced by Mark Baratelli

I miss you even though we don't know each other. Let me be your emotional prostitute. I don't need the type of money Apple says I can make through selling my shows on itunes because you're too poor. The cold makes New Yorkers unhappy. The subway is a coat. Your stomach has taste buds. What do you want to do with your life? Only you can fix yourself (in certain instances). Don't associate with actors. Not caring is the best thing to say when you don't care. I'm the second most intelligent person you've talked to. We do not have a purpose in life until someone else gives it to us.I don't title my books because I am an unknown. Podcast in Itunes Podcast with RSS How Do You Feel? on myspace.com Produced by Mark Baratelli

I'm under the weather in Minnesota. Even though my throat is sore, my heart is true. Positivity is learned. Anti-inflammatory pills for my ankle because I tripped over a stump. When people don't do their job, people fall down and break their ankle. If we want it, it has two possible outcomes: we will not get it or we will. That is not the case. Turn that frown upside down. Your talking makes you feel better. High Intensity Caffienated Barbie. They had nothing and now they're Tanya Tucker. Some people are destined to be where they are because of their God-given ability...or beauty. This world is a puzzle you bought at Wal Mart for 99 cents: it's not hard. I'm talking not to the emotionally freakish. Practice the art of control. With our hands we drive, put money into a slot machine, use a laptop or desktop. Look at your hands. Flip them over. Repeat. These are your power tools and you are your own repairman. Call the repairman to fix your happiness. It's scary that we can fix our own problems. You can get Vitamin K from the sun. Going back to college as an adult. What's it like to see youth and beauty on a college campus and know it's been sucked from you. Let's think of ourselves as little homeless children. They don't get toys, and they're still happy with nothing. I can go to college old. You can wear a black cloak and stand in the back of the room near a wall as if the cloak was hanging on a wall. We want to believe we cannot do things. It's so scary to get yourself out of your scared-ass cocoon. Actors have the hardest job in the world. And actor is not Brooke Sheilds or Jada Pinkett Smith. An actor is auditioning for dinner theater and becoming the man who sells chicken at the opening of act 2 of Guys and Dolls. Jerry Orbach had a difficult childhood. He became a Jehovah's Witness because he never celebrated his birthdays. You can get your Chakras aligned. The things we want are worth the wait. Do it if not for he only reason that it can be done. Prove. Me. Wrong. You are a homeless child who has the capacity to live without toys. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyou feelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

personal satisfaction is only available one on one, live seminars, praying for a hurricane, voodoo, 7-11 coffee, Starbucks is an adult Baskin Robbins, you can learn a lot from a moron, Transformers, old people want to forget the fact that they are old, getting old is bad, don't look in the mirror, inflict the pain, they do not know the social ramifications of a heavy woman wearing short shorts, doughnuts, find an overweight woman and AWAKEN them Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyou feelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I wish this ghetto could be razed, Dog Aids was caused by gay men not using a condom to fudge pack, Teen Talk: teen pregnancy, abortion, angst, rape, cheating on tests; plastic face for high school, babies are amazed by hands, numb to packaging, Kindergarten is a German word for Nazi school, Easter, Stop eating, I am your father, Leave me something in your will Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Jacob Javitz Center is where you need to be to prepare for the holidays, you can be your own family, shop for each of your personal dimensions, You don't have a wreath? Steal one! Sausage McMuffin with Egg, robot walk for GIs, tubular curtains for candles, I love to take my shoes off, 40% of Oprah's audience is unemployed or high on the embarrassment scale, 300 things you like about your job or quit, the color blue is a positive color Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

That hump resembles a turkey. You've got a family and that family is me. All you have to do is sit on Thanksgiving day and think about me. I said a prayer for my listeners. I like to try out new methods of therapy. The silence box. Clack clack clack. I don't expect you to be able to do what i can do. You can probably barely hold a fork. I will be selecting people to get in the spinning box. The spinning box is a metaphor or life. When people are mean, those memories don't go away. Being in the box feels the same way. Write down how much money you THINK you have. Write down how much money you THINK Dorothy Hammil has. My medical doctor friend operates on knees. Have you ever had steak tartar? There is crap for every surface of your home. Do you think the holidays are about shopping? If you do, you are stupid. I want you to be happy. If this is the season of happiness, don't buy...be happy. The way you do that is by smiling. And that makes other people want to be happy and buy something. You are not the insecure one in a room. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I need to celebrate this podcast because people thank me for creating this show. You're unworthy of my time. If I had to repeat myself to you, wouldn't you feel guilty for me? I'm judging a rose competition for publicity. Clarissa is in her closet crying. My listeners are male, I need more lady listeners, so I'm going to the rose gig. I'm going to judge the competition based on who is prettiest. Be your lady self. This coffee is running down my throat like a river. You can go to hell Jamie and Donna, two listeners who asked me not to gurgle my coffee. I knew there was something false about your look. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

It does not matter what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you. I don't lie and you shouldn't either, unless I tell you to lie. We are meant to be happy. Spread the goood feelings by acting like you're rich. I honk at a woman in a green truck. Suicide might be right for you. A booger on a rainbow in a kindergarten class. Doritos. Eat them and throw up. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Ideas turn into action. You will take action to bettering your life. I have been drinking. There's nothing wrong with drinking. Drinking is self-medication and fiscal and emotional responsibility. Barbara Walters is proud of 3 things: her life, her family. I would have chosen "Kicking Star Jones off her show." I accused her of not being able to handle Star's strong power. That's showbiz, kid. I doo doo doo doo showbiz. I am asking you to boycott the tv show The View. Barbara Walters is a malicious vulture. Be careful who you let in your life. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I just read a book that changed my life, but I won't tell you the title. I wrote it. You need to put in a request for the "How Do You Feel?" bool at your local Barnes and Noble. I carried it around for 9 months. It is birthed. Much like women in other cultures who freeze the placenta and eat it, I got the very first edition of the book and put it on my bookshelf. If you're crying, I want you to be happy. If you can't be happy, slap your face. The only person who will make you happy is me. When you accept that, you will begin to grow. You are a child in the body of an adult. Gnaw you foot off and run away to freedom. You need a bear trap and you need to get happy. When Chaka Khan recorded a song I cannot tell you the title of, she was on so many drugs she had to be dragged into the studio and drugged. hey hauled her back home. In spie of all her personal difficulties, she was able to mke something that made the world happy. What can you do like Chaka Khan? Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Everything will be alright if you trust in me. I am a blue warm baby blanket keeping you warm on a cold winter's night. A blanket causes change. I can change your emotional state. I went to a place of learning and will get a new Mercedes. They hit a deer. They hit a wall. There's guts everywhere. They will stop beating. You need to beat yourself. The more you get to know someone, the more you realize you don't want to get to know them. 98%of people are bad. What is your opinion on abortion? Try swimming in a lake in a thunderstorm. What if you have to have a foot removed? I have all my hospital procedures in a hotel. When anyone says something they didn't mean to say, they meant to say it. People don't make mistakes. Do you have clam sauce that has no salt? Are you stupid? I am being feel mated for asking for it. And I feel stupid. I can't afford groceries because Beatrice Jenkins won't let me have them. People cannot accept the blame for their horrible states of being. I makes them feel good. Shut up and let them do it. BLAME SOMEONE ELSE FOR YOUR PROBLEMS. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

the voice is watering planets, people respect you more when you're drinking, Macocatron is a speed pill that I take, Wanting is not a verb- it's a life source, crack addict employees are cheaper to employ, she was young and heavy, lie to yourself to get through your day, mirrors on peoples' faces, blubbering, I am the good, pestulence is the bad, the more you let me in the less of you will be inside of you. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I want you to answer in the affirmative, to live your life in the affirmative. If you choose to be fat, that's your choice. We are a limon' tamer. Should I be putting that into my body? Is cocaine glamorous, retro-glamorous, or really cool? The liquid at the bottom of the well of despair is formed by our own tears. Mark Baratelli, this fur, you've endowed as being negative. If we admitted to ourselves we'd never be rich, we'd all kill ourselves or be on cocaine, which is why most poor people are on cocaine. You really should be going on a walk with me. The four tenants of happiness: 1) eat food that will make you walk in a circular motion, 2) stick with people who stick with you, 3) talk in English, 4) tie your shoes. I gave a check for $12 to a homeless shelter. God bless me. I share some stories from my past. Life takes care of you if you take care of life. When good things happen to bad people, you need to take action. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

This neighborhood smells like rotten eggs. If you're male, you get stuck with the bill. I mean bodily fluids. I'm worried about you. I am your mother with my face on her body. I need some intoxicants. Rolling down the mountain. I want these calls to be sugar packets of love from your Mother. Your mother has been blow away by wind...or a lawn blower machine. Think of me when you think of diapers. (Bad customer service ensues during the call. My apologies). I almost swallowed a can of wheat germ I was so angry. Dairy Queen employee gave me sass. No onion rings was her fault, not the manager's. I was so angry I asked for a glass of water, she said that will be thirty five cents, and I made her watch me swallow the entire bottle of wheat germ...dry. I went to the hospital because of suffocation that turned into a convulsion fit. I had no insurance after the divorce. Have you ever been uninvited to a birthday party? Sedatives, no translation for my tapes, write a poem about me. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Calling from Boston. Belks employee recognized me. She told me she wanted to join me at my lecture, but she couldn't afford it. Whose fault is that? Hers. I told her to cut herself, she almost did, I was almost arrested, she was taken away in shackles. When she was being led away, she sang the national anthem. Because of her, I bought a flag pin. Advertising for this convention is everywhere...except in the black neighborhoods. My clients are 98% white 2% black. Louisa gave away my numbers to Peter for fifty bucks. The "How Do You Feel Black Army" will go to black gatherings and hand out my flyers. If you want to join the army, email me. You must be black. My life is the focus of my life. My life should be the focus of your life. Waitress. Woman drops ashes on baby's head. In certain parts of America, women don't treat babies good. Article about woman who swung baby to hit her boyfriend. She should be punished by a machine that swings her against a wall like she did to her child. The punishment should hit the crime. I visited her. It's so odd when you try to help someone (with a camera crew). The jail didn't want a "media circus." Cherly brought her baby. I threatened Jenkins that I would hit him with Cheryl's baby. He thought I was kidding. I was dead-baby serious. I was incarcerated for 24 hours. Some people don't want help, but I am a Mother Hen. I think that woman doesn't think anyone cares about her. She had no friends so she thought she could swing babies. She's not loved. I visited the child. It's got a giant dent in it's head. I know they can fix that baby. One client had plastic surgery on her baby, but you have to update the surgery as the baby grows. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

This podcast is about you and how I can take your life and turn it on it's backside. A baby crying in a movie theatre. I want to be your clip-on earring. When you fail, you fail your fellow man. When you walk into a room with flip flops and everyone else is wearing $400 heels, you are ruining their lives. You have the power to do bad even when you don't realize it. Your self. You're like a see-thru egg. If yourself isn't happy, your outer shell isn't going to be happy. We have to have the ability to be fake in this world. Your spirit. It causes you to take action or not. You can't change it like you can change your self. There's a base that homes are built on and they are called bases. Your spirit is a base. Asking me to change your spirit is like asking me to give you plastic surgery. Your spirit is as physical as your nose is. Give up on trying to change your spirit. The newspaper is an obituary. Alcohol involves spending money. Locally-owned liquor? Please. Those people in those big cities? Those are the people who count. I drink what people in New York drink. I have lived in a larger city. Sometimes I have to shake myself. This podcast will be on the radio within a year, in a local market. I'm not local. I'm national, baby. Become national. Do you want to be a locally-brewed liquor or one that is drunk by people in Paris. One of my feet might have to be removed. I don't know which one. I designed a billboard for PETA. My feet are causing a build-up of liquid in my shoulder because they are so well-designed. The doctors would attach my arm four inches lower. Think about other people, not yourself. You are not that important. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

10-17-06 It's not a lecture, it's a gift. The Cheapo Company gave me a Dodge Neon and the President asked me to emblazon on his employees' chests a mantra. Bumping is good. This is not about me. A gift from yourself is the best gift of all, because it came from God. Like the Tinman. I'd put God inside me. (show interrupted by a trip to Taco Bell) I got a postcard from someone in my family describing the emotional impact of my non-presence. I've been to this Taco Bell before. My face and name are known. Is there a Creep Festival? They look like they want to stab me in the cheek and steel my tires and sell the rubber. This is not a gift session, it's a lecture. When you threaten a litigation it scares people. More creepy people. is this a homeless convention? Delilah is a hoot and has a son with Polio. Children are not born with diseases that their mothers didn't give them. That woman did that to her child. More scary people. People with ugly faces should not have children. There should be a standard. I am a celebrity but sometimes I just want people to go away, especially people with big noses. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

You don't need hands to be a human being, You just need life and love, Anger with my Mother is caused by myself, prank calling and egging my mother's house, How my Mother got her house, 35 sheep and 5 camcorders, I have the right to harrass her, Trying to be time-neutral, Christmas is actually is a sad time so attend my holiday lecture. Please join me for my Holiday Session in New York City at the Jacob Javits six thousand seat ballroom. Tickets are half-sold though, so good luck with that. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

You want to be a different person. If you look in a mirror, you don't like what you see. You might not be like-able. I like you. Cut off contact with your friends and family. Mental hugs. Sometimes at my seminars, people come in groups. I asked a group of a woman's friends to leave and they didn't want to. They were not good for that gal. We want our friends to tell us what to do. I don't respect you. Get rid of your friends and follow me. I am your brain mechanic. I will make you a better person because you can't do it on your own. I am getting inside your brain. Tell me the colors you see. A brick is a brick. That general palate is a reflection of what's going on inside you. I bleed just to know I'm alive. I wasn't aware I was alive. Trowel tossed in the air caught by the sharp side and I cut my hand. Go and find the sharpest object you can and gently cut your thumb. What is that? It's blood. It's a reminder that we are inside this trap of work, school, home, finding a mate, decorating our house. We can help people. A millionaire patient gives homeless diamonds so they can hawk them to buy drugs. Sometimes I take on clients with such emotional disorder, I can't cut them. We are not in the reality that Denys makes us fat. What we eat affects how we live work breathe play. I want you to cut yourself and to stop eating at Denny's. I will talk to Denny's corporate. For real change to happen for Wilford Brimley he needed to be cut. I didn't want to do it. I was lazy. I learn so much from talking to you. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

You don't want to share your self-inflicted misery, but I want to listen to it...through your journal. Write a letter to me in your journal and send it to me in your mind, and in 6 months, you can look back and see how crazy you are. I want you to embrace your inner loon and when someone asks you how you are, you tell them. That way, you are writing letters to me verbally that I will never receive. Life on the other side of depression, anxiety, unhappiness and bulemia is a rainbow, a joyride, a ferris wheel. You are invited to "Let the Red Rain Fall: Mark Baratelli's Blood-Letting Tour." Janet Dupree had her children tie her to the bed, let her husband blood-let her and she woke up renewed and refreshed. 1 out of 400 was unhappy with my blood-letting. I am in the industry of givery. I want to givery you happiness. What in your life enables you to have a tropical oasis on a daily basis? I can control your mind, I can blood let you, but ultimately it's up to you to make the changes in your life. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I am proud of you because you are about to make one of the biggest changes in your entire life. I will give you an elixor that will tranquilize your behavior. The things that you say become the things that you do. Say it with me: "I am going to eat a burrito." Now go take the action of eating the burrito. How do you apply this to your mate? You think, then act, then react. Simple describes what we're dealing with. God Bless Simple Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Do you like your fat body? I am the only person who cares about you. Yawn I'm going to die soon. You are mortal. Say it with me: I am going to die. I want you to have a good time in life. It is about what you do with what you have. Crazy fun like in high school. Life should be fun and drinking is fun. I want you to steal something. It's illegal, but not as bad as doing drugs or killing someone. You should make people happy. You can buy a house in Queens. I like people who breathe. Love people whether they love you or not. I am very good with charades so I could speak with my hands to a monk and I made him laugh. I allowed him to accept death. Having fun equals an acceptance of death. Fun equals death. Accept. I am under the weather. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

When your laundry is all done, you've got it going on. Your P.O.V. on things that stress you out is mixed up. You down with POV? Yeah you know me! Be grateful. Have passion. I put soap in the hole. I fold socks for five minutes. If you're not enjoying life, you're slapping the face of God. Your POV with relationships: communication is about listening and responding. I'll rubber neck all I want. My POV is this: I have a right to do whatever I want to do. I love to have a good time. A movie lasts 2 hours, same as a dinner out. My POV on tv is this: it's a waste of time. You're a sad sack of crap. Don't deny it. You think something is going to change, pop out of nowhere, a gnome. Nothing happens without action. Without force there is no impending energy. Please find a hand mirror. This is the you I'd slap. a goat in Saudi Arabia wanted to eat grass and lay down. The sheppardess wanted to slaughter the goat to buy a burka and eat the other half. She paid a man 40 dracchmas to catch the goat. She went into prostitution, the goat got fat, she got AIDS and died, the goat died. Change your POV and catch your goat. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

When someone asks you how do you feel, you say "good" even if you have been kicked in the face by a boot by someone you love. Lie to yourself and the people you know, because it's the only way you're going to get happy. The bad is going to go away. I was baking an apple pie and found it to be a metaphor for life. There might be a pubic hair on your pillow. You can plan, but things might come out like crap. Move on. It's good. Life is good. You say good because you could be dead. Come to my suicide seminars if you want. It's better to be stupid and on welfare than to be dead. Can I get an Amen? Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

You can be as outstanding as you want to be. Are you willing to give up everything to be the best gymnast in the world? The world is waiting for your talent. And you do nothing. The solution is effort. You need a passion. You can be a better people. I don't make this hard. Don't do it you don't want to. Don't come crying to me when you look old, become fat or have no job security. If you are over 40 and you aren't where you want to be in life, you're f'd because you look old, you have no energy and you're impatient. When you accept a crappy life...you accept a crappy life. Bumps in the back of Chevron parking lot with Tina. When you give up, your life is over. Enjoy smacking God in the face. Pretty soon you're going to be dead and the world will be a better place for it. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

How do you feel? If you said bad, I'd slap your face. When any minute of your life is sad, it's like slapping the face of God. People love to get slapped. The pain they inflict on others is twice as bad as when it's on them. You need to be familiar with the pain you inflict on other people, so you don't do it. What do you need to be happy? Happiness. Happiness doesn't come from people. You make YOURSELF happy. This world is a world of happiness. What makes God happy? You being happy makes God happy. Happiness is the way to happiness. Fat men who drive tiny cars are not happy, and if they are, I will shoot myself in the forehead. I'm a human being. I'm jealous. I have something wrong with me. I pretend that the people who have more than me have things wrong with them and those things are worse than the things that are wrong with me. You ever pretend you're in an alternate universe? You watch the movie "Truman Show," and think, "That's my life!" If I knew now what I know then, I'd be directing the show, not in the chorus. No one's looking at me. I pretended I was the lead in the show. Say it: I am a star. Make bold choices. Respond to people like you were in the best written movie ever produced. It's the movie of your life. You always have an opportunity to come back in the end. Your life movie might be boring. I slapped Penny Marshall. Penny Marshall asks for help but really doesn't want it. The people I respect get up and try again. Penny Marshall is not like that. Penny Marshall wants me to hit her. We all want attention. Why do people go to steak houses on a Thursday night KNOWING the weekend is coming? For attention. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

I don't feel good today, ya gotta fake it before you can make it, your body affects your mind, words affect how we feel, We hang around people who make us feel bad, people who talk about other people are talking about themselves, you can't make someone happy, I feel good even though I don't believe it, ride the train dammit, some people just don't get it, take my suicide course, is tonight the night you'll rid the world of your wretched self?, lawn cae housing code, suicide is not the answer, shut up, killing yourself hurts and is final, you can still feel a turkey, do you feel good? Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

SAK Monday night workshop 10am: Orlando Fringe website meeting 3pm: Improv Cabaret rehearsal My thoughts on audio posting Thoughts on rehearsing Improv Cabaret Shows and workshops coming up markbaratelli.com improvcabaret.com

I can make the windows open, the lamps flicker and Mahalia Jackson rise from her cruddy grave. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Have joy within yourself. We're all like snowflakes. Who controls who hits us with chairs? Two McDonalds in Albequerque. Pizza. Only poor people say that none of this matters. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

Open up your mouth and say good. You've been alive since you were born. We smack the face of God when we waste the lives we are given. I am having a moment. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli

What would it be like to live in a basketball? You're probably doing it wrong. I am the maker of your future. if you let me. Subscribe in Itunes Subscribe with RSS myspace.com/howdoyoufeelpodcast Produced by Mark Baratelli