About Face

I got on a dating app in 2012 and met my now ex-husband. Now I have two German kids and I can't leave the country! On a bad day this really gets be down, however, it has taught me a lot about the power of reimagining possibility within the very real limitations of our lives and circumstances. This episode is for anyone who has felt held back back or "stuck" because of circumstances, past decisions, and the consequences of just living our lives. Reimagine your limitations with real hope, possbility, and space for growth. 

I took a break from podcasting because I didn't know how to tell my own stories anymore. There was shame, confusion, fear, and hardship around what I was going through- leaving my marriage, becoming a single mother, and learning to embrace the truth about my situation and my life. This episode is about the reality of why I had to leave my marriage, what I learned about processing the grief and trauma, and how stories and podcasters have given me strength and hope. 

Dating after divorce or after 40 can be messy, but it's also a great time for self-growth, healing, and introspection. In this episode, Kate talks with Quintin Mecke, social activist, politician, and former mayoral candidate of San Francisco about healing in sex and love. This episode is a funny reflection on how they met doing storytelling in San Francisco, Kate's existential crisis when a sex tape is revealed, a relapse, polyamory, divorce, breakups and their misadventures in dating and healing. This episode explores personal healing, gender dynamics in marriage, family trauma, and how to heal ourselves to be ready for new and more mature love. 

This is the first episode in a new season of About Face. Kate shares her personal journey with creating the podcast, what it means to be authentic, why being honest with ourselves is crucial to recovery. She shares about losing a guest to overdose, divorce, addiction recovery, sex and love addiction, her inspiration in the trans community, and the role of storytelling in recovery. If you want to heal, you have to be real. Here is the first episode on a journey of truth and finding authenticity in our lives and ourselves.

Last summer I got hypnotized for over two hours and I wanted to share about this experience as well as the relationship I found between narrative healing and subconscious imagery. In this episode I interview Marta Styczen about her hypnotherapy practice and we talk about my session, including the process of going under hypnosis, what it is really like, whether anyone is susceptible to hypnosis, what I learned, and how I found it to be such a powerful source of healing and information. While there was also a situation of what could be considered "past life regression," we also talked about the role of imagery, metaphor, and of course, narrative.  I talk about how the session unlocked some early experiences, some painful, but also awakened some understandings for me around relationships with men, my past, and my current energies. Marta shares about her Quantum Healing Hypnosis practice, the role of deep meditation, connecting with a higher self, and how she is self-recovered from schizophrenia.  We also talk about how language itself is an artificial construct and is limited in communicating some messages and ideas and how the right side of our brain uses imagery to tell stories.  For more information about Marta: current location & session booking via website www.selfhealing.work or IG @marta.styczen. Mental health advocacy projects: neurodivergencegallery.org & IG @neuro_gallery Instagram: @restorya FB: Kate Marlena-Restorya Restorya is a member of Bear Radio. Theme music by Kenichi and the Sun

Today I want to talk about something I call “Attachment Stories,” and it’s the stories that attach themselves to events, issues, or traits about ourselves, our families, communities etc. Basically, it’s the accompanying stories that might crop up in a damaging way. Many of you have probably heard this expression: “Pain inevitable, suffering is optional” an ancient Buddhist expression, made popular by Haruki Murakami. This quote is basically the premise of how to face attachment stories. That is to say that the human experience will inevitably involve pain: we will face hardship, loss, and eventually death, but the suffering that accompanies it will be of our own making. So, beyond the other Buddhist tenants of acceptance and impermanence, we can also look more practically at these attachment stories that really can exacerbate the suffering of our lives. In this episode I share about my own experiences in the last month- a new lockdown, my daughter's brain surgery last month, getting served divorce papers, and losing my apartment. I share about how these experience triggered my old self narratives and how I was able to reconnect with other stories around love, connection, and self-empowerment. 

I used to think I could insulate myself against pain or hardship by doing the right thing or making "good decisions." When my daughter was diagnosed with a rare brain condition, I had to face my greatest fears of illness, vulnerability, and a total loss of control. In this episode I share about going through the transition from denying and fighting against hardship and how learning to accept difficult fates and struggles has taught me about connection, humanity, and empathy.  This episode was inspired by an essay I wrote called, "The Things We Cannot Handle," originally published in Scary Mommy in 2017.  If you are interested in learning more about narrative please check out my website www.restoryatherapy.com and feel free to book a session with me.  You can find more content at Patreon and please consider subscribing to support my work.  https://www.patreon.com/join/restorya Email: kate@restoryatherapy.com @restorya on Instagram Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin Our theme music is the song JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from album White Fire which you can find here.

The legal profession is the only field where a negativity mindset is an advantage. This constant negativity and stress can lead to depression, anxiety, suicide, and addiction. As a former lawyer in recovery from alcoholism and addiction, this episode speaks to the experiences of many in my community.  Today I am bringing you an interview that I did over the summer with Eilene Zimmerman who I first discovered after reading her viral article in the New York Times called, “The Lawyer, The Addict.” I actually was doing my own research on this intersection between lawyers and addiction and this was a fascinating story about Eilene and her husband Peter, a high-powered attorney who died of a drug overdose, without her even knowing he had an addiction. What is interesting to me about this story is the many ways that our cultural representations of addiction and drug and alcohol use mask the reality that these problems happen at every level of society and this rise of white collar addiction is actually a testament to some of the systemic issues arising from materialism, wealth, spiritual or emotional detachment and the pressure of career or financial success. This interview is actually a conversation about her story and her book Smacked, which is currently being optioned for film by Elizabeth Moss and her film company Love & Squalor, who you might know from Madmen and The Handmaid’s Tale. We talk about why attorneys have a propensity for addiction, co-dependency and marriage to an addict, and why the competition and conditioning of the legal profession is killing lawyers. Eilene also shares about her own trauma recovery, and how writing a memoir and her story helped her overcome grief, loss, and reclaim her sense of self. Email: kate@restoryatherapy.com @restorya on Instagram Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin Our theme music is the song JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from album White Fire which you can find here.        

I love gratitude lists, but I think sometimes the pressure to focus on the positive (and shaming for negative thinking) can be destructive. In this episode I want to share my experience with learning to acknowledge some of the challenges in my life, taking an honest approach to hardship. This is about self compassion and learning to get real when things kind of suck. 

Break-ups are HARD and the heartache can last years. This episode explores the relationship between self-identity and break-ups and why the pain is often because of the stories we tell ourselves about why things ended. Whether you left a 20 year marriage or you got ghosted after a few Tinder dates, this episode is for you. Kate explores four steps to narrative healing: 1- What stories are you telling yourself about the relationship or the break-up? 2- What stories are you telling yourself about YOURSELF? What power does this story have over you? 3- Challenge negative biases and beliefs around these stories. 4- Recall and remember the positive things you have learned, what you might take forward, and the strengths you showed during and after the end of a relationship. This is one example of how narrative work can help in empowerment, self discovery, and personal transformation. www.restoryatherapy.com Insta: @restorya Facebook: Kate Marlena- Restorya Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English-speaking podcast network of Berlin.  Theme Music: Jeanne by Kenichi and the Sun from the album White Fire

So. many of us are suffering from the collective grief of this pandemic and it's been manifesting in various ways- pressures on our relationships, money stress, health fears, feelings of isolation, and the unknown. There is also a depressive element- not knowing how we will be moving forward for the next year, the inability to make plans, and this pressing feeling of, "Will this ever end?"   Kate talks about her own struggles with the grief and loss, the inability to travel out of a foreign country, the unknowns, and the fears and stress of social distancing. She talks about narratives that can be limiting including stages of grief, and other ways that we can embrace and overcome this new world with hope and authenticity.    I am currently taking new clients but I have only a few spots left so book now!   Contact: www.restoryatherapy.com Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya Insta: @restorya  Music: "Jeanne" by Kenichi and the Sun on the album White Fire available now. 

Food is so basic and primal and yet so many of us suffer from disordered eating--why? This isn't about extreme cases of anorexia, bulimia, or overeating (though it could be), but the many little ways that we are tortured by food management, food restriction, and the disordered relationships we have with food because of personal, family, cultural and systemic narratives. In this episode Kate talks with food psychology coach Laura Lloyd about the narratives we have about food, our bodies, and exercise. Do you suffer from disordered eating? Have a subconscious aversion to exercise? Do you hate team sports or think maybe you just "aren't that kind of person" to work out? What conclusions have we drawn about food, our bodies, and exercise because of early childhood experiences? What narratives and messages have we inherited from our families of origin and culture? Do you have narratives about managing our food and weight?  This episode also delves into larger narratives of food and our bodies and the role of capitalism, as a focus on production keeps us from having a sacred relationship with the food we eat.  Laura Lloyd Coaching www.lauralloyd.co/gift Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauralloydfoodpsychologysavvy Kate Leone Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/restoryatherapy Instagram: @restorya To book a session contact me at restoryatherapy.com

When you think of the most important stories of your life, they are often about relationships. What stories you tell about yourself and your life often begin with family, parental bonds, siblings, and events that involved these important relationships. Whether you have strong bonds with your family or you have severed ties, you likely continue to have stories and narratives around your early life and how these relationships shaped who you are. I met Aidan “Taco” Jones when he did a stand-up show in Berlin. Most of his bit was about how his Australian mother got pregnant while traveling in Columbia and how he never met his father until this past year. It was as hilarious as it was also heartbreaking and such an insight into his life and the role of humor in his personal growth and healing.  This episode is about the stories of our childhood, how they shape our identity and sense of self, and how returning and uncovering some of these unattended stories can help us towards healing and understanding. We also talk about mixed race identity, cultural identity, being raised by a non-biological parent, and the importance of self-acceptance.  Find Aiden here: Podcast: Sitting Under a Tree www.aidantacojonnes.com Instagram: @aidanjonescomedy If you’ve been a subscriber to the show, thanks for listening to About Face or Restorya and if you’re new, welcome. If you didn’t already know this, I am also practicing as a narrative therapist here in Berlin and clients abroad who want to reach me by Skype. Those sessions can be booked through my website at  www.restoryatherapy.com Find me on Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya Insta: @Restorya Please consider leaving me a review on iTunes. You’ve probably heard this a 100 x by every podcaster, but it truly helps! I really like to provide this content and will continue to do so but as a creator it would really help me out to continue to grow my audience. Restorya is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin Our Theme music is the song Jeanne JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from the upcoming Album "White Fire" to be released in September 2020  

In 2017, my 18-month old daughter had to have brain scans for a suspected tumor. While in the hospital, she didn't wake up from the anesthetic. It turned out she had caught a superbug while being tested, but the doctors told me that she should also be tested for lung cancer, blood cancers, among other really scary diagnoses. All of this was something I had to navigate in a foreign country, in a foreign language.   Literally, the scariest week of my life.   Eventually she was diagnosed with Chiari Malformation and doctors have since wanted to perform an invasive brain stem surgery/decompression surgery. Last week they told me again that she needs this intervention, but I am terrified. Also, she has no symptoms, which makes the decision making process incredibly difficult and really triggering for me.   In this week's episode, I share what it is like to experience this real fear I am having, but also the ways that I am coping. I will continue to discuss fear inventories and how to use our fears as a gateway towards reframing our values and purpose. This isn't about shifting away from pain and fear, but actually leaning into it, using somatic understanding, so that we can get clear and mindful about how to process and make decisions with confidence.   Facebook: Kate Marlena-Restorya Instagram: @Restorya   Tara Brach and the R.A.I.N. Meditation https://www.tarabrach.com/rain/   #chiarimalformation #podcast #fears #mentalhealth #recovery #meditation #somatics #transformation   If you're already a listener please please consider leaving a review. It would mean a lot to have your support!

Fear is so basic, primal, but also gets at the role of narrative in our lives is fear. Fear is an instinct of course, it drives us to make decisions, to do or not do things. It can get in the way of moving forward, but of course it also has this evolutionary advantage of keeping us safe from harm. Fear narratives can be based on societal messaging, family of origin stories, experiences, and even cultural mythologies, but it is important to understand where our fears are coming from and whether they are authentic and real or if they are just limiting beliefs.   In this episode I share a story about how a family origin story resurfaced while I was on a road trip in Portugal last week and how the fear narrative left me with a stolen wallet. I will also share how learning to inventory fear helped me make one of the most important decisions of my life-- to leave my marriage.    If you are struggling with a life transition, consider working with me directly. I am a certified narrative therapist and work with individuals, couples and groups. You can book individual sessions through my website at www.restoryatherapy.com Facebook: Restorya Therapy Instagram: @restorya Our theme music is the song Jeanne by Kenichi and the Sun from the upcoming album White Fire to be released in September 2020. 

This podcast is broadly looking at the way that stories and reimagined narratives can help us shut down negative thinking patterns, deconstruct damaging systemic narratives, and take the power back in reimagining our own lives. My guest today is Hannah Joy Graves a.k.a. Cult Mother a tarot card reader in Berlin who you also heard on an earlier episode of About Face. While the reading of tarot is by no means scientific or having proven healing powers in a medical way, I do think that it has the power to do what narrative therapy also does, which is look for the answers that lie within us. Like narrative therapy, tarot opens up new possibilities for understanding and gives the individual the power to look at themselves and their lives in a new way. This was something I realized after my own readings with Hannah. It wasn’t about fortune telling, it was about seeing the way that my life circumstances could be approached differently. I love seeing the way life stories drive individual empowerment and the narrative healing happening in so many different practices. Hannah Joy Graves- Cult Mother Tarot Insta: @CultMotherTarot Mental Health Benefits of Reading Tarot by Elly Belle Music by Kenichi and the Sun

I started my work in activism at more of the macro level. I went to law school and studied international human rights at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis. this where George Floyd was murdered and sort of the starting point of the protests against police brutality in the U.S. When I was there I was working for the American Civil Liberties Union on behalf of prison inmates. One of my jobs was to read the letters from the inmates, to decide if they had a claim. Now I can tell you what I was doing was listening, to stories, to emotions, to pain and loss. I was all in.   The problem was that I was acting like a lawyer, And a lawyer’s job, is not about stories, or empathy, or emotions or heart. A lawyers job is to decide whether these facts square with the law. I would normally take these letters and put them in a pile that said, “NO CASE.” What that meant was that whatever personal experiences and injustices were at the heart of these inmate letters, they were not meaningful enough to make a mark on the law. This was sort of the beginning of my questioning the role of the law, my ability to work within the confines of the legal system, that I could see was deeply flawed and had so many blind spots.   The personal is political and making sense of our past, how these personal stories and narratives are impacted and influenced by larger institutions of power do matter.   So, I was very interested in this role of narrative and began work in literary theory as a Ph.D. student at NYU. I was interested in the role of narrative in the law, power structures. This sort of paved the way for me over the years, to have this base understanding of stories, and narrative, as a source of power and justice, but also as the real source of activism, healing and recovery.   As a writer, I’ve always believed in translating my inner experience to the outer world, and in some ways that act in itself felt political. I am now a trained narrative therapist which means that I;m really looking at how systemic issues influence the individual, which brings me to tonights topic.. emotions. Emotions drive us, emotions are the root of passion and activism, and if you think about it they really begin in our bodies. I am doing somatic work in embodied activism which is really about learning how to see the body as the center point for any work at the individual and institutional level. How do we learn to become embodied, to see our bodies as a source of power and also often the place of oppression, because of race, gender, sexual orientation. Where does this all begin, in the body. But by becoming aware of our bodies. Becoming mindful of the body, we can begin to take back power.   So, back to emotions. If you have never done this before. I want you to close your eyes and think about how emotions manifest in your body. When you’re scared, is your chest tight, does anger start in your gut, does excitement cause your fingers to shake. We experience emotions in our bodies and this is one way to reconnect to get really in touch with where you are in your body emotionally, so that you can channel it. Many times people don’t stop to feel their emotions, but they actually are a physical experience, and instead of thinking of emotions as something to get out, like a catharsis, it can be more helpful to think of them as a kind of territory in your body, a place where you can live them experience them, and use them as a way to fuel your power.   I could talk more about this, but I wanted to just give that quick intro into the potential of narrative and storytelling gin transformational healing but also make this connection to somatic healing and embodied activism. You can learn more about my community healing and work at restoryatherapy.com and I will also read this poem, which I think for me is a personal reflection on the relationship between this inner and outer world…   Formless   From the rooftops, that carve a pathway Towards the steeple, the clouds thin and even Where birds perch, on the stone meridian The leaves that grow tired and fold. Beneath this lapping sky, that once belonged to us.   In the milky sunset haze, the shadows crawl north. And we wait, now, for the face of night. Her glow, the mysteries, that lie beneath. The stories that unfurl between promises Between the sheets, the windows and walls There was us. And then, the world.   Dampened lust, our bodies, we are lost in Formlessness, beyond the rings of ecstasy We know these lines, the edges of being, Where we wait to be discovered, Uncovered, and lifted, elevated beyond White crests, the carnal rain.   The walls are dirty with time. And tell us more than we want to remember. So we silence them, with only our eyes. There was nothing left to bare. Secret eddies of lost thrown stones. There was nothing left for us to bare.   And this time, we will need a map, To guide us from these rooms, to tell us Where to go, how to be, the way we were. Out there in here or in here, out there. The desert has never touched the ocean. The sun can only long to kiss moon.   From pink to blue to summer night. It wasn’t long until the hum of the street, The dog barking, pulling at the leash, Life is awakened, in the dark. The wind beckons, not forgotten From the windows, we hear her calls, It’s a beat, a force we won’t forsake.     Kate Marlena Leone July 13, 2020  

Kate interviews Aisling Ní Chába about her internal experience with gender identity from childhood, growing up in an abusive family and repressive Catholic community in Glasgow. She talks about the challenges she faced in finding institutional support and how transitioning forced her to confront gender binary narratives on the personal level as well as in academia as an archaeologist. I did this interview about a week before she entered the hospital for vaginoplasty or gender confirmation surgery. We are talking about gender, but also the underlying scientific narratives that can impact self-identity especially related to bio-constructs.

I'm a divorced, single mom, an alcoholic, I suffer from depression and anxiety, among some other things, and yes, all of this sounds really shitty, but it's not really the story of my life. The way we talk about ourselves and our experiences matters. This episode is about how we can learn to separate ourselves and our identity from our problems, how avoiding certain labels can inhibit our ability to get help, and the role of narrative therapy in finding solutions. 

Stories tell us about where we come from, who we are. They give us meaning and purpose. And without some understanding of how they influence us, a story can keep us in bad habits. I want to use my own life as an example of how my own stories kept me from healing, and how learning new narratives gave me room to heal. I started drinking alcoholically when I was about 16, though I wouldn’t have admitted it. I did know something was “wrong” especially after I wound up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning on my 16th birthday, however, no amount of therapists, family interventionists, even doctors could have persuaded me that I had a problem with alcohol, or that I was an alcoholic. But why? In some ways, it was obvious even then. One of the most powerful transformations I have made in my life was the recovery from alcoholism. This began with the pain of admitting something was wrong and connecting with my own narratives around alcoholism, failure, perfectionism, self-worth, and love. For me, getting sober meant reframing the entire story I had told about myself and my place in the world. ⠀ In this week's podcast I am going to talk about the role of narrative in my own life, not directly from the perspective of narrative therapy, but the power of storytelling, listening to others, community sharing, and how creating meaning gave me the power to break through limitations to connect with a higher and more empowered self. ⠀ ⠀

In our first episode of Restorya, Kate talks about the evolution of About Face and why she’s changed the show and the content to introduce her work in narrative therapy. She shares the origin story of About Face, her own experience with getting sober and recovery through narrative and storytelling and how creating hope around narrative can be beneficial in moving beyond our pain and trauma. Kate delves into what narrative therapy is, her own experience with studying narrative for 20 years and how narrative therapy methods can help you to come to a deeper understanding of yourself, your identity, and create responses to your life in an authentic and empowered way.

I met MISSA BLUE after one of her hypnotic burlesque shows, a political, challenging and riveting performance history of the Black Panthers. Missa Blue is a well known variety performer who has gained international recognition through her highly skilled sword swallowing shows and for being one of the very few woman in the world who are still actively practicing this ancient art form. In 2016 she survived a life threatening accident on stage. This has pushed her to become an activist for Performers of Colour in international show business. She has since been called a role model for her fight against racism and for more visibility of black female performers in the industry. In this episode, I talked to Missa about growing up as a young black girl by white German parents, losing her mother at a young age, battling her father's alcoholism, her struggles with anorexia, and how performance art has brought her healing and restored her power and identity. Missa talks about the challenges faced by artists of color and how she is building an international coalition to support persons of color in the arts: “It’s really important that people see that a black woman can do this, and that there are other people of color who do incredible things.” Missablue.net Instagram: @missablue Excerpts from Missa's Ted Talk were also included in this episode. The full talk can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQMxh-oaAOM

Today we are sharing a guest episode from Filter Stories by James Harper about Raymond, a former member of an Amish community who left his home and his country. Raymond's family want him to spend his life using a horse instead of a car, to live off the grid and have little contact with the outside world. But young Raymond is curious and explores the outside world. His father reacts by moving the family into an even more isolated community. Fast-forward 20 years and Raymond is pulling espressos in Melbourne. How did Raymond escape? And how did he end up as a barista in Melbourne? Trigger warning: this episode contains references to sexual abuse. ———————————— If you haven't already, please subscribe to the show and review us on iTunes! https://itunes.apple.com/de/podcast/filter-stories/id1428327760?l=en&mt=2 Follow Filter Stories on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/filterstoriespodcast/ Sign up to the Filter Stories newsletter: http://eepurl.com/dD-sY1 Episode transcript: https://medium.com/@FilterStories Sound mixing: Dom Edgley / https://domedgleysound.com/ Filter Stories logo: https://headquarters.studio/  

Christine McAlister has endured one of the most horrible and traumatic experiences that I can imagine, and yet, her retelling of the experience and how it changed her is admirable and profound. This is courage, strength, and power in the face of adversity and it’s what I love to learn about from people who have really been through some of life’s toughest lessons.  What happens when the worst thing that you think could ever happen to you, actually happens? How do you make sense of life when you are faced with the greatest loss? You can find Christine's work at www.lifewithpassion.com About Face is a Member of Bear Radio- the premier English speaking podcast network of Berln. Music for this episode was provided by The Space Where She Was from the Album, How to Play Dead.

Lisa was an ambitious 20-something working for the United Nations when a sudden and chronic illness became debilitating, leaving her unable to work. This the story of facing her illness, a shocking diagnosis, and her ability to let go of expectations of life and self. It's a story about losing loved ones, forgiveness, and self-compassion. It's about coming to terms with death and how she redefined a meaningful life.  About Face is a member of Bear Radio Music provided by Miss Kenichi. 

Our guest Tim, shares semi-anonymously about his experiences with an unexpected pregnancy, as a new father, and a truth about his life that changed everything. It's a story that reminds us how to move forward through life's challenges, and how to face the most impossible decisions without regret.  No one’s life turns out perfect. Nothing works out exactly the way that we’ve planned or expected, but the question is what we do with our mistakes, or those moments that force us into difficult decisions, or different paths.  There are so many experiences in life that can injure us, leave us weaker, scared or less. Like Tim said, everyone reacts differently. Some people suffer a tragedy or loss and never really recover. Others are still able to see beauty and possibility and grateful for what they’ve had. This is an episode is about life turns and those unforeseen, unexpected challenges. Betrayals and loss. The real-life concoction of beauty and pain, the way that many of our experiences of love, can also have a shadow.   About Face is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin.  In this episode you the songs, "Your Shattered Outline" and "The Memory Changes Every Time I Remember," by The Space Where She Was. Also, "Different Angles" by the artist, Ketsa with rights from the Free Music Archive.   

The relationships we inhabit can shape and define us, and how we see ourselves. Who we choose to love and let love us matters, because in the wrong hands, we may suffer from neglect, abuse, oppression, and even, the total loss of self. One of the most difficult decisions is to know when someone we love is no longer serving us, or worse, actually causing us harm. What does it take to break away, and how do we know when to do it? This is a story about love, but also co-dependency and the very complicated nature of emotional abuse. But more, it’s a story about how one woman used her own oppression to find her voice. My guest today is Reema Zaman. Reema is an award-winning writer, visual artist, actress and speaker, and the author of the memoir I Am Yours. She is from Bangladesh and immigrated to New York When she was 18. When she was 25, she fell in love and married into a relationship that shifted the direction of her life. She writes and talks about what it is like to fall into emotional abuse as well as how to find your voice when you come out of the darkness. About Face is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English-speaking podcast network of Berlin. Music for this episode was provided by Miss Kenichi The 2018 Oregon Literary Arts’ Writer of Color Fellow, Reema Zaman is an award-winning writer, actress, speaker, and author of the critically acclaimed memoir I AM YOURS. I Am Yours debuted on the Powell's Bestseller list, alongside Michelle Obama's memoir Becoming. Born in Bangladesh and raised in Thailand, Reema’s work has appeared in The New York Times, Ms. Magazine, Vogue, The Guardian, Salon, Guernica, Shape, and elsewhere. Reema has the honor of partnering with the International Rescue Committee and Girls Inc. to serve key causes and empower the next generation of leaders. As the only Reema Zaman in the world, she is easy to find on social media. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter and learn more at reemazaman.com.  

Naniso shares his experience growing up in the generation following Apartheid and describes the difference between institutionalized and systemic racism versus other forms of covert oppression. We talk about a particular instance where he was physically assaulted and detained at an airport and how the attack figures into his consciousness, as a thought leader and in how he interacts with the world. The way that we see ourselves in the world begins with our family, where are we in the pecking order. As we grow up, we learn more about who we are and where we come from. Even as children, we internalize our individuality through the subtext and organization of our communities and in the context of other social constructions like gender, ethnicity, and nationality. Consciously and unconsciously, how we see ourselves is shaped by how we fit into the world. But, what happens when your identity, the way you see yourself is shaken beyond your control, how do you reckon with this realization- maybe you aren’t who you thought you were? Or maybe the way the world sees you is not the way you’ve always seen yourself. Naniso was born a few hundred kilometers north of Johannesburg, South Africa in the homelands or rural villages established during Apartheid. We talked about his early life and what it was like growing up in the generations during and after Apartheid and the difference between systemic and institutionalized oppression versus covert racism. About Face is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin.  Music for this episode was provided by Miss Kenichi And the song "What She Thought of Herself," by The Space Where She Was.  

Tania Lacy was a famous Australian television personality during the 80s and early 90s before she got fired for hijacking the station in protest. Losing her job led to a loss of identity and a reckoning with her own sense of self. This is a story about her height as a celebrity and the fall into obscurity and heroin addiction. This is a story about Tania's ballet accident that ruined her dance career, her transition into  choreography and Kylie Minogue's "Locomotion" video and her rise as a television star and woman in comedy. We talk about why fortune and fame are never enough, how to forgive ourselves, and why strength and power must come from within.  About Face is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin. Music for this episode was provided by Miss Kenichi. Website: misskenichi.com Album purchase: https://misskenichi.bandcamp.com/album/fox  

Why are some of us capable of changing our lives and finding the right path while others get lost along the way? What influence does mental illness play in our ability to recover? How do we navigate our way out of broken homes, addiction, and family mental illness? This episode features Justin Evans from The Peripheral and The Generation Why, one of the top-ranking true crime podcasts. We talked about his family history of mental illness, how to mourn loved one who has already been lost to a disease, and how he paved his own way.   About Face is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin. Music for this episode was provided by Miss Kenichi. Website: misskenichi.com Album purchase: https://misskenichi.bandcamp.com/album/fox    

Tattoos, piercings, punk rock, rockabilly- the look and the subculture can have a hard-shell appearance, but what about those individuals underneath? What is the relationship between subculture and individual identity? Is there a correlation between mental health and extreme tattooing? How do subcultures give us strength and armor, and at what point are we lost to ideology? Is there a false security in our fight for belonging?  This is one woman’s journey--how she found hope, strength and security in a subculture, while also learning to shed the armor and uncover her own truth and find an authentic direction for herself. This episode deals with mental health, including anxiety and depression, drug and alcohol addiction, suicide, loss, and recovery.

I want to start at the beginning, with birth. This episode includes my own story about a traumatic birth and my interview with visual artist and writer, Carmen Winant, to talk about her work, My Birth, the powerful installation at the MoMA, the missing and misrepresentations of birth in cultural representations as well as the challenges in the transition into motherhood. In addition to birth, we also talked about feminism in motherhood, and the potential for political action around these specific women’s issues, birth, and parenting. For more information about Carmen Winant here is a link to her website: carmenwinant.com A few mentions. About Face is a member of Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network of Berlin. Music for this episode was provided by Miss Kenichi.  

A short hello and introduction to our next season which will be released every two weeks beginning December 10. 

How do we learn to accept ourselves and our past? Jason and I follow up on the destruction that ended in death and loss in a story about recovery and reparations. We talk about how to let go, the gratitude and peace that can be found in survival, how his own recovery made him realize an authentic life. We also talk about forgiving ourselves and our parents and why people who are more sensitive to the world are more likely to become addicts.  Stay connected with us on Twitter @AboutFacePod, or on our Facebook page. You can also stop by the website at aboutfacepodcast.com and consider making a donation to show your support. And a few music credits. Most of the tracks used on this episode are the creative inventions of my guest, Jason Snell under the artist name, The Space Where She Was from the albums, What we Lost and How to Play. You also heard original music from Miss Kenichi from her album Fox.  Don’t forget to check out some of the other featured programs on Bear Radio, the premier English speaking podcast network in Berlin. I’m currently looking for guests for Season 2 of About Face, so if you have a story about personal transformation or significant turning points in your own life that changed you, send me an email. You can write me directly by using the contact form on our website at aboutfacepodcast.com. 

“I was looking at the world and it started to flatten out and I realized, this is what it’s like to die. Everything starts to lose meaning. . . it just becomes a flat image.” - Jason Snell. I interviewed Jason Snell while he was in Europe, in Berlin, on his trips between Paris and Warsaw and Italy, before he heads back to either Iowa or L.A., or somewhere in between, wherever he decides to land for the next weeks or months. As I’m nearing my ninth month of pregnancy, becoming even more firmly planted, sometimes feeling immobile, I can admire the freedom, independence and that open quality of not knowing where you are going next. Sitting down with him, felt like time-traveling, both of us, revisiting the ghosts of our old selves.  I was reminded me how stories unfold in time and space, how sometimes we are not sure where one ends and another begins. There are the kind of stories that happen in an instant, a car accident, a trauma, a sudden loss, and then there are those that can span years, decades, even a lifetime. Jason’s story is one that happens in flashes, and also, spans more than 20 years, and so, I’m going to break the interview into two parts, Episodes 9 and 10. In Episode 9, we talk about his youth and intro to drug addiction- LSD, cocaine, heroin, and the magnitude of his losses, from human life to his innocence, and self. We talked about the attraction towards darkness, the sheer weight of death. This is an episode about the edge. It’s an episode about loss, but more, what does it take to turn around? Stay tuned for Part II of this series, where we will explore human potential, forgiveness, and the power of mending our past, not just our relationships with others, but with ourselves. Music Credits: Artist: Miss Kenichi Album: Fox Tracks: Death Cab Artist : The Space Where She Was  Albums: What We Lost and How to Play Dead Tracks: The Memory Changes Every Time I Remember, What She Dreamed For, What She Thought of Herself    

Songs used in the episode: "Leaving Naples" & "Just What I Want" from the EP "Seeing Naples" with Sick rat  "Cold Season" from the EP "INFP" with Undogmatic Link to INFP:  https://concretecee.bandcamp.com/album/infp Link to Seeing Naples:  https://sickrat.bandcamp.com/…/sick-rat-cedric-till-seeing-…

Family secrets--what are yours? Every family has them. I have some that I can’t put on this podcast, though I really contemplated doing so just to air them, for myself. In the end it just seemed too heavy, too much, too revealing for those involved. But they are right at the tip of my tongue. Part of me thinks that airing them will be liberating, giving voice to my own experiences and my pain, but the other side of me says, no it’s self -indulgent, and too many people would get hurt. Silence can break an individual, but the truth can tear a family apart…so how do we decide, what to say, what not to say, when is it our own burden to bear? Most families struggle with balancing the bonds of cohesion and the needs of individuals. Individual truth. Individual desires. Individual crisis and struggles. We are going to talk about what it means to suffer because of family, also when it’s time to get distance or even sever ties for the sake of your own wellness and truth. This is a painful About Face—but one that can be necessary to healing and moving on. My guest is Lisa, who decided after our interview that she didn’t want to use her last name. We talked about about her own family secrets, the tragedies that tore her family apart, and the ways that she had to sever herself to heal and become whole.   About Face is now a member of the Bear Radio Network.  Please take a few moments to leave us a review on iTunes! Music for this episode from Free Music Archive. Artists: Broke for Free and Chris Zabriske

In this episode Kate sits down with a woman she calls Ally. Her guest didn't want to be identified by name or expose others who were involved in this story. This episode is about how she struggled to reconcile feminism and motherhood, personal freedom and security, as well as the "grass is always greener" myths surrounding romantic relationships and singledom. Kate also discusses her own struggle with losing the freedom that comes with detachment and the pressures faced by unmarried women in their 20s and 30s and beyond. It is an episode that deals with the personal struggles we have inside and outside our relationships, and how to evolve personally when we choose to have commitments.   Ally chose to remain an anonymous guest, but we have used some stock photos to promote the episode. Just a note so that no one is confused by these images...

Susie Kahlich has always been brassy, even back to her early years in Chicago and punk rock days in 1980s New York. In this episode, we sit down and talk about the impact of sexual assault, the night she was brutally attacked in L.A. and her life’s work teaching self-defense to women. We did this interview before the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke, before the #metoo campaign went viral. At the time, not even two months ago, it did feel like no one was talking about all the forms of harassment and assault that don’t involve penetration or rape that doesn’t involve a stranger or violence, but is still, just as painful, just as unwanted.  And we all know that it has everything to do with power. Even the conversation felt so cutting, and yet beneath the surface, both of us simmering with this feeling, this anger and agitation and fear and rage about what we knew had happened to us, what had happened to others, and this consuming, feeling that there was so much to say, so much unsaid. This episode is about sexual violence, the body’s natural self-defense system, and Susie’s ability to translate her experience into a self-defense program to help women and refugees. If you haven’t already done so, please leave a review of About Face on iTunes! For more information about Pretty Deadly go to prettydeadly.org or listen to Susie’s podcast Artipeous.

About Face is a show about turning points, how we show up fo