Myths Your Teacher Hated Podcast

This week on MYTH, it's time for another exciting chapter from the chronicles of Lacplesis the Bearslayer.  You'll learn that God is a thief, that the Devil is extremely jealous, and that humans used to only have one eye. Then, in Gods and Monsters, hostilities are about to erupt in the Silly Goose War. Source: Latvian Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're headed north to Sweden for some unlikely child heroes. You'll learn that you really should be careful what you wish for when magic is involved, that sometimes magic is just hard work, and that you should never trust a bicycle. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a young girl will set out into the wild to rescue her kidnapped brother. Source: Swedish Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're delving into the ancient kingdom of Kangleipak, now known as Maripur. You'll learn why you shouldn't trust strangers met after midnight, why you shouldn't wear a king's clothes, and why the best rice cakes fall from the sky. Then, in Gods and Monsters, maybe you shouldn't ignore the warnings about drinking from the fountain that turns people into tigers. I'm just saying. Source: Meiti Folklore  

This week on MYTH, we're returning to the dawn of time for a tale from the very first city. You'll learn that you shouldn't trust a bad gardener, that cities make great hiding places, and that turning the seas to blood is a favorite pastime of pissed off deities. Then, in Gods and Monsters, the god of pestilence is going to risk a zombie apocalypse for a one night stand. Source: Mesopotamian Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're going to cover one of the most famous stories from Greek mythology - Perseus and Medusa. You'll discover that a wooden chest makes a dangerous boat, that heroing is all about the right accessories, and that prophecies are tricky. Then, in Gods and Monsters, no really, prophecy is very, very tricky. Source: Greek Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're heading back to the magical wonders of The Thousand and One Nights for the second of the epic voyages of Sinbad the Sailor. You'll learn that you shouldn't nap in strange places, that you can do a lot with just a turban, and that diamonds are a bird's best friend. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll meet a creature that is a half-human being. Literally. Source: Middle Eastern Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's the epic conclusion to the tale of the Mayan Hero Twins. You'll see that you should always be kind to orphans, that you shouldn't let dancers burn down your house, and that resurrection is tricky. Then, in Gods and Monsters, if you hear whistling from the woods, hide your thumbs. Source: Mayan Mythology

This week on MYTH, Xbalanque is going to have to face the lords of death without his brother. You know, because he's dead. Well, mostly dead. You'll learn that decapitated heads make good balls, that it's easy to confuse a skull ball with a rabbit, and that the best way to win a ball game is to destroy the ball. Then, in Gods and Monsters, you'll discover that a magical goat man only has one weakness, and it's both very obvious and very weird. Source: Mayan Mythology

This week on MYTH, it's finally time to play ball with Death. You'll learn that even death gods hate mosquitoes, that macaw feathers can be used to light cigars, and that you should always be wary of bats. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a temple will be built using nothing but a lot of hot air. Source: Mayan Mythology

This week on MYTH, the trickster Hero Twins are going to grow up and come into their own. You'll discover that farming is easy, that lice make bad messengers, and that you should be careful what you eat. Then, in Gods and Monsters, two brothers are going to get into a tussle over the love of a beautiful woman. Source: Mayan Mythology

This week on MYTH, we'll find out what happened to Lady Blood and meet the legendary Hero Twins.  You'll learn that owls may be death omens but they're also chill dudes, that it's surprisingly hard to kill a baby, and that monkeys are great dancers. Then, in Gods and Monsters, beauty and jealousy will get a lot of people in trouble. Source: Mayan Mythology

This week on MYTH, it's our annual New Year's special.  You'll see that games can be deadly serious, that you should never trust an owl, and that the lords of the dead are tricksy fellows. Then, in Gods and Monsters, be careful not to say the name of this trickster spirit lest ye incur its wrath. Source: Mayan Mythology

This week on MYTH, it's our annual Holiday Special as a special treat for your winter blues.  You'll learn why you shouldn't let children play with your valuables, why you should be careful what you drink, and why you should always do a barrel roll. Then, in Gods and Monsters, the animals will have to nominate someone to rescue the Sun. Source: Haida Mythology

This week on MYTH, we'll wander across ancient China in search of some truly strange sights.  You'll see that you should believe the locals when they warn you a place is haunted, that even tiny spirits can be very arrogant, and that books can make the best weapons. Then, in Gods and Monsters, strange things happen in strange hotels after dark. Source: Chinese Folklore  

This week on MYTH, we're traveling to the snowy north for stories from the Sami people.  You'll see that you should always watch where you're stepping, that giants sleep very soundly, and that all you have to do to get treasure is ask for it. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a young man will learn why you shouldn't mock the sky. Source: Sami Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're traveling to East India for a very special birth in a very unusual jungle.  You'll learn that stars and diamonds look a lot alike, that cattails make surprisingly good arrows, and that thieves make good husbands. Then, in Gods and Monsters, how far would you go to win a bet with your wife over a pancake?  This is the Myths Your Teacher Hated podcast, where I tell the stories of cultures from around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory. Source: Indian Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's once again time for the annual Halloween special.  You'll discover why you should never trust wandering strangers, why you should always handle eggs with care, and why you should be suspicious of unusual waterfowl. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll travel to the city of Ansbach for a very real and very macabre story of magic and murder. Source: German Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's off to snowy Norway for a trio of world-famous goats.  You'll learn that there's always someone bigger, that being a bully is a bad career plan, and that goats love violence almost as much as they love getting fat. Then, in Gods and Monsters, it's a freaky Friday switcheroo for one unhappy couple. Source: Norwegian Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're traveling to west Africa to discover the strange origins of Death and how it came into the world.  You'll learn that you should never ask the ingredients in a Michelin star meal, that your boss is not your friend, and that good hair can be a real curse sometimes. Then, in Gods and Monsters, what should you do when your firstborn child is a real snake in the grass? Source: Krachi Mythology

This week on MYTH, we'll catch up with Scheherazade as she spins out another of her 1001 Nights.  You'll see that sometimes complaining about rich people works, that you should always be careful when landing on weird islands, and that not all spirits actually do anything. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a gardener is going to get the runaround from a mischievous little bird. Source: Middle Eastern Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's time for another exciting chapter from the chronicles of Lacplesis the Bearslayer.  You'll learn that oaks make good victory crowns, that haunted castles show up in the strangest places, and that some warriors prefer the pen and the sword. Then, in Gods and Monsters, two brothers will go off in search of fortune and find a White Deer instead. Source: Latvian Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're journeying deep into the Brazilian jungle for a story about a tiger (who definitely shouldn't be in Brazil). You'll discover that tigers make bad farmers, that they make worse employers, and that they really can't trust rabbits. Then, in Gods and Monsters, those same rabbits will learn that some things are better than a tail. Source: Brazilian Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're heading to Japan to meet a much more civilized kind of rat. You'll see that power is in the eye of the beholder, that you can totally marry concepts, and that rats are lucky. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a beautiful sea creature will go on a fetch quest for the Dragon King.   Source: Japanese Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're traveling back to ye olde London for the strange birth of the legendary King Arthur. You'll see that destiny can be written across the sky, that even a half-dead king is better than nothing, and that it's easy to abuse magic. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll seek help for an endless swarm of rats.   Source: Arthurian Legend

This week on MYTH, we're traveling to New Zealand for a Maori tale of fiery passion. You'll learn that volcanoes can fall in love, that you should be careful where you sleep, and that the very mountain can literally move. Then, in Gods and Monsters, Maui is going to attempt his most audacious trick yet.   Source: Maori Mythology

This week on MYTH, a young prince is going to meet an immortal giant. You'll see that magic items make everything better, that you should be careful with your promises, and that you should never trust the gardener. Then, in Gods and Monsters, sometimes the love of your dreams requires a whole lot of work.   Source: Armenian Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're going to travel with the Romani of Wales on a very strange journey. You'll find that you should always offer random old women tea, that you can't trust rocks, and that you should always speak first. Then, in Gods and Monsters, some princesses are going to get caught dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.   Source: Romani Folklore  

This week on MYTH, we'll climb up into the heights of the Himalayan Mountains to windswept Tibet. You'll see that some brothers know how to share, that you can do a lot with a cake and a skull, and that you should always know what your work is worth. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a tiny bat will disobey a mighty king.   Source: Tibetan Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're headed to the wintry forests of the old Russian Empire. You'll discover that dolls make the best imaginary friends, that you should always keep a pie in your pocket for emergencies, and that even trees like to feel stylish. Then, in Gods and Monsters, some woodland critters are going to discover why you have to be careful when choosing your roommates. Source: Slavic Folklore

This week on MYTH, a little boy with big dreams is going to meet a whole bunch of kings in the Philippines. You'll see that you should always dream big, that royalty in the animal kingdom is a lot more approachable, and that you should keep an eye on your jewelry. Then, in Gods and Monsters, you should always double check if the man of your dreams is secretly a literal monster. Source: Filipino Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's a stirring tale of a boy and his…cow? You'll learn that grit and kindness can accomplish a lot, that long hair can be a liability, and that you should always have an exit strategy. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a giant is going to demand too much cheese and reindeer steak. Source: Swedish Folklore

This week on MYTH, Theseus will finally face his most famous foe - the Minotaur. You'll see why you should never trust your uncle, why you should be careful who you give your heart to, and why you should spend more time being a king and less being an adventurer. Then, in Gods and Monsters, Icarus and Daedalus will attempt a daring escape from the tallest tower of Crete. Source: Greek Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're heading to ancient Greece to meet one of its most famous (or perhaps infamous) heroes - Theseus. You'll discover what ancient paternity tests looked like, how to kill someone with a bed, and why not all heroes are good guys. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we're traveling back in time for the origin story of Theseus' greatest foe and the inventor of its prison. Source: Greek Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're headed to the wilds of Rwanda to follow a wily hunter on the prowl. You'll discover that you shouldn't bet on a game unless you're good at it, that you shouldn't ignore bad dreams, and that you shouldn't marry someone unless you're sure they're not a shapeshifter. Then, in Gods and Monsters, a young woman is going to wonder if she's fallen in love with a monster. Source: Banyarwandan Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're getting a double dose of Loki goodness. You'll see what an otter costs, where to get gold on short notice, and what a curse can really do.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, our favorite trickster is going to get himself (and everyone else) into a very interesting bargain. Source: Norse Mythology

This week on MYTH, we're gonna look for lions in unexpected places. You'll learn that it's surprisingly hard not to lose a herd of cows, that it's surprisingly easy to find a hidden palace, and that human hair makes great thread. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll discover that help can come from the most unexpected of places. Source: Catalonian Fairy Tales

This week on MYTH, it's our annual New Year's special. You'll learn that a lot of strange things can come from bird eggs, that some babies look an awful lot like old men, and that it can be tough to chop down magic trees. Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll find some sweet New Year's money inside a red envelope, as long as a demon doesn't kill us first. A holiday tradition. Source: Finnish Mythology/Chinese Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's our annual holiday special. You'll find that eternal youth lies in the cold northern wastes, that Santa makes a pretty awesome neighbor, and that Christmas is no time to be selfish.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, what happens when a Catholic saint clashes with the priests of Thor? A holiday tradition. Source: American Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're going to discover some ancient secrets of Long Island, New York. You'll see why you should be careful where you put your trash, that there's magic in art, and that even gods make mistakes.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, who doesn't love strawberries? Source: Turtle Island Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're heading to Australia for a story of the forces of nature. You'll learn that logs can be deadly, that you shouldn't let strangers take you fishing, and that the winds have a romantic side.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, what happens when a star is kidnapped? Source: Indigenous Australian Folklore

This week on MYTH, what happens when a cabal of thieves piss off a young dancer? You'll learn that lightning plus dung equals magic, that powerful men have always been gross, and that you should never trust a wedding in the woods.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, Sherlock Holmes has nothing on political minsters. Source: Indian Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's once again time for my favorite annual tradition - the Halloween Special!  You'll learn that war is hell on relationships, that it's surprisingly easy to get a human skull, and that fireplaces make bad hiding spots.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll meet one of the undead inspirations for vampires. Source: Hungarian Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're going to Edo period Japan for a fruit-filled tale of demons and heroism.  You'll see why you should always eat random giant peaches, why you should never leave a dog alone with a monkey, and why you should always threaten pretty birds.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, we'll meet a creepy baby that can turn into a ball of fire. Source: Japanese Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're headed to the wilds of the Ottoman Empire in modern Turkey for a royal rumble.  You'll find that you should listen to your elders, that some ancient places are basically video game levels, and that lions make good hiding places but not great hiding places.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, an apple a day will get you kidnapped and beaten. Source: Turkish Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's an African story of magic, mystery, and mayhem.  You'll see that you should be careful where you cry, that you should be careful who you loan your ox to, and that you should be careful where you get your magic charcoal.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, what's it like to be made of wax? Source: Zimbabwean and Botswanan Folklore

This week on MYTH, it's the thrilling conclusion of the epic tale of Jack the Giant Killer.  You'll see that all giants use clubs, that you should always pay attention to your feet, and that giants and evil magicians have a lot in common.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, a more different Jack will set out in search of his fortune without any real plan. Source: English Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're headed back to merry old England for the further adventures of Jack the Giant Slayer.  You'll discover that it takes less than you think to become a knight in Camelot, that royalty aren't great with money, and that the Devil has some weird hobbies.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, Jack - maybe the same Jack, maybe not - will head to a real mill in Yorkshire.

This week on MYTH, it's off to merry old England for a truly classic folktale trickster.  You'll learn what the going rate is for dealing with a giant, why you shouldn't nap at a crossroad in a fairytale forest, and why you should apparently never accept hospitality from a Welshman, especially if he has two heads.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it's the legendary tale behind one of the largest graves you'll ever see. Source: English Folklore  

This week on MYTH, we're going to get into the weird world of dream interpretation.  You'll discover why you shouldn't eat corpse candy, why you shouldn't murder magic birds, and why you shouldn't send demons to live with relatives.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, Death is coming to ruin a wedding. Source: Jewish Folklore

This week on MYTH, we're headed to the ancient city on the lake, Tenochtitlan in the Aztec Empire.  You'll see that tricksters can be tricked, that the Sun is selfish, and that the gods love a good drum solo.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, some love stories are timeless and universal. Source: Aztec Folklore