Paternal

In the final scene of the 1986 coming-of-age film Stand By Me, the film's narrator sums up boyhood friendship with the simple line, “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.” And that's largely true for a number of men who had no trouble developing deep, meaningful friendships with other boys. So why has a lack of friendship among dads become a cliche, or even a running joke? Why can't guys hang onto those intimate friendships from their past, and what keeps them from making new friends as adults? On this episode of Paternal, journalist and novelist Sam Graham-Felsen examines how one of his strongest childhood friendships has eroded over the years in the wake of marriage and fatherhood, and why men are reluctant to reach out to close friends when they're in distress. He also discusses why listening to Joe Rogan offers some men a community in place of real-life friendships, and what men can do to rediscover the old friends they thought they lost. Graham-Felsen is the author of the article “Where Have All My Deep Male Friendships Gone?”, which appeared in the New York Times Magazine in May.

James Patterson has sold more than 425 million books over the past 30 years, making him one of the richest and most successful authors in the world. At 78 years old and entering the final stage of his career, Patterson has legions of fans devoted to his brand of psychological thrillers and police procedurals, and he can effectively write about anything he wants, whenever he wants. So what's the king of paperback fiction doing writing a book about fatherhood? On this episode of Paternal, Patterson discusses the motivations for his new how-to manual The #1 Dad Book and what he's learned from his own experience as a father, and how to turn kids on to reading. He also reflects on the life of his own dad, who grew up in a poorhouse in upstate New York without ever knowing who his father was. Patterson's latest, The #1 Dad Book, is available wherever you buy books.

You could fill an entire bookshelf with guides on babies and toddlers, or the best strategies for dealing with teenagers. But for Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, one of the most critical stages for child development is the pre-adolescent phase, when kids really begin to push their parents away and first ask the biggest questions of their lives: Who am I? Am I normal? Where do I fit in? On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Ginsburg returns to the show for the first in a series of special episodes devoted to the issues affecting our kids. He dives deep into the idea of brain puberty and what's happening in the minds of kids in this pre-adolescent phase, why they're trying harder than ever to break free from their parents, how screen habits figure into their development, and why you should leave your own painful memories of middle school out of the conversation with your kids. Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg is a pediatrician specializing in Adolescent Medicine at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and a Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. He is also the author of Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child With Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond.

Christopher Blackwell has been a lot of things in his life. As a young boy he was a son longing to connect with his father over classic cars and football. As a teenager he was an insecure class clown, and then a dropout. In his 20s he was a drug dealer living in survival mode in a neighborhood riddled with crime and violence. And now he's an inmate in the Washington Corrections Center, serving a 45-year prison sentence for robbery and murder. But Blackwell is also an award-winning journalist, the co-founder of a non-profit organization focused on prison reform, a mentor to other inmates, and a husband. On this episode of Paternal, Blackwell reflects on how growing up without community and positive male role models led to a tragic robbery gone wrong, and how he's transformed himself thanks to prison's “heal circle,” where inmates share their stories and discover a sense of honesty and camaraderie they never had as young men. Blackwell is the co-founder of Look2Justice, a grassroots organization led by criminal legal system-impacted people that works to transform the legal system by providing civic education and empowerment programs for incarcerated people and their loved ones. His first book, Ending Isolation: The Case Against Solitary Confinement, is available for pre-order now.

Austin Davis was just a teenager when the trajectory of his life changed forever. A fatal shooting rattled his neighborhood in the working class Pennsylvania town of McKeesport, and spurred him to attend a city council meeting of all white officials who were skeptical of the concerned Black teenager raising his voice. “ The people closest to the pain should be closest to the power,” Davis says. “ I had a stake in that community just as much as they did as somebody who lived there and grew up there, and I wanted to make it a better place.” Nearly two decades later Davis was elected the Lieutenant Governor of Pennsylvania, becoming the first African American to ever hold the office and the youngest Lieutenant Governor in the United States. On this episode of Paternal, Davis recounts how the son of a bus driver and hairdresser rose to one of the most powerful positions in Pennsylvania, why becoming a father helped him focus his energy on fixing the state's childcare problem, and where he finds hope for the future despite extreme partisanship and vitriol among today's politicians.

Jake Tapper has been a leading figure in American media for more than a decade, serving as the chief DC anchor at CNN, the host of the network's weekday show “The Lead with Jake Tapper,” and the co-host of the Sunday public-affairs show, “State of the Union.” During that time he's interviewed some of the most consequential and controversial figures in American politics, and in the process learned a few things about why powerful men are so reluctant to admit when they're wrong, and what it costs them in the end. On this 2023 episode of Paternal, Tapper discusses how he balanced a high-powered career in journalism with a life as a father of two children, how his own father influenced his upbringing in Philadelphia, and the traits that make a successful leader. Tapper's new book, All the Demons Are Here, is available wherever you buy books.

Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the latest in a series of special episodes, this time to discuss a subject that a number of past guests have brought up over the years: Grace and self-compassion. He examines why some men hold themselves to impossible standards when it comes to work, relationships and parenting, and why the inability to forgive yourself is connected to the ability to apologize to others, and actually mean it. Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at www.incontextcoaching.com.

Acclaimed author Joseph Earl Thomas spent much of his childhood watching everyone around him, trying to figure out where he belonged. He grew up attending public school in Philadelphia and constantly scanned the classrooms and hallways to avoid being beaten up by bigger, stronger boys. And throughout his adolescence Thomas was always trying to figure out what a man is and what a man isn't. Then he realized that he shouldn't even bother with those expectations. On this episode of Paternal, Thomas recounts what life was like growing in the Philadelphia neighborhood of Frankford, what he learned about violence and vulnerability from his grandfather, his own anxieties as a parent to four kids, and why he's reluctant to say his life story fits “the hero-story narrative thing” of Black kids finding success in America. Thomas is the author of the 2023 memoir Sink, which was dubbed “an extraordinary memoir of Black American boyhood” by the New York Times. Thomas' memoir Sink and his 2024 novel God Bless You, Otis Spunkmeyer are available wherever you buy books.

Authoritarian parents. Permissive parents. Disengaged parents. Lighthouse parents. How would you describe the parents you had as a kid and, more importantly, what type are you now that you're a parent? The answer could speak volumes about how you interact with your kids when it comes to the rules of the house, how to build resilience, and how much you value expressing emotions. And it will likely determine just how strong the bond is between you and your kids for the rest of their lives. On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg -  a pediatrician specializing in Adolescent Medicine at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and a Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine - breaks down the different styles of parenting and which one consistently yields the best results for children. He also discusses a pair of challenges often echoed by fathers on Paternal - how to honor your kids' emotions instead of shutting them down, and why it's crucial to show yourself some grace in front of your kids.  Dr. Ginsburg is the author of three books on parenting including Lighthouse Parenting, available wherever you buy books beginning March 18.

Meet Frank. He's a 62 year-old father of four grown kids, and grandfather to seven grandchildren. Back in the summer of 2017, Frank decided to leave his home in San Diego and spend a week in Denver with his son Tommy, but it was no ordinary trip.  Tommy is a homeless drug addict who lives in and around Civic Center Park in Denver, and he needs help. But can a committed father really change the course of life for his son, who's caught in the deadliest drug crisis in American history? On this 2018 episode that is the most downloaded episode in Paternal history, Frank recounts the signs that may have foretold a troubled future for his son, and recounts his experience of living homeless in vivid detail, with endless empathy for his son and his battle against addiction.  Special thanks on this episode to Chris Conner and Denver's Road Home, and Denver Human Services. Special thanks also to Pastor Jerry Herships of Denver. This episode includes a 2025 update on Frank and Tommy, and Frank's memoir, Living in the Streets: A Father's Firsthand Account of His Son's Desperate Struggle with Drugs, is available on Amazon.

Bruce Oake didn't speak until the age of two, but once he started, he never stopped. A precocious kid with boundless energy growing up in Winnipeg, Oake was an amateur boxer as a teenager and a talented hip hop artist who adored the ragged, tough guy aura of some of his musical heroes. But by his mid-20s Bruce was firmly caught up in the opioid epidemic and struggling to find a way to get clean, leaving his parents to wonder what they could possibly do to help their son. On this episode of Paternal, Scott Oake looks back on the life and death of his eldest son, and reflects on if he could have done anything differently as a father. He also discusses the idea of addiction as a health issue versus a moral issue, misconceptions about rehabilitation centers, and how a recovery center built in Bruce Oake's memory gives dozens of men the chance to heal. Scott Oake is an award-winning sports broadcaster who has contributed to “Hockey Night in Canada” since 1989. His new memoir For the Love of a Son will be available beginning Jan. 21, wherever you buy books. All proceeds will be donated to the Bruce and Anne Oake Foundation.

Paternal closes out the year with a collection of the best conversations from 2024, curating five of the best segments from the past year into one collection. On this episode, Paternal guests discuss a variety of topics, including why Evangelicals and young men flocked to Donald Trump during the presidential election, why black boys need love stories too, the role the gym plays for men as they deal with issues of grief and addiction, and why anxiety and anger are so prevelant for some men heading into the new year. Guests on this episode of Paternal include author and The Atlantic journalist Tim Alberta, award-winning author Jason Reynolds, New York Times journalist John Branch, music critic and powerlifter Michael Andor Brodeur, and CNN political commentator and attorney Bakari Sellers. Stay tuned for all new episodes of Paternal in 2025.

When David Robertson discovered a mouse living in his minivan years ago, he knew it meant trouble. But what happened next - six weeks of Googling for information about mice, the viruses they carry, and the chances he might die from catching such an illness - was more than something a simple mousetrap could handle. It was indicative of the challenges Robertson faces every day, living with anxiety. On this episode of Paternal, Robertson discusses all the ways that anxiety has affected his life as an award-winning author and a husband and father of five kids. He also reflects on what role masculinity played in him hiding the seriousness of his mental health issues, his thoughts on group therapy and medication, and why he's chosen to use his platform to openly address mental health. Robertson is the author of the new memoir All the Little Monsters, which will be available Jan. 21 wherever you buy books.

Sixteen years ago, novelist Charles Bock was the kind of guy who would never, ever want to appear on a podcast about fatherhood. He was single and living in New York City as an aspiring writer aching to finish his first novel and somehow get it published. He had no real desire to become a father, and he knew he was too immature to become anyone's dad. And then he met Diana. On this episode of Paternal, Bock discusses what happens when a man reluctantly becomes a father, and then faces a life-altering sequence of events that leaves him largely on his own to raise his daughter. He also recounts how he balanced grieving his wife's death and full-time caregiver responsibilities, all while his friends questioned if he was up to the task and the mothers in the preschool pickup line kept a safe distance from a father clearly in over his head. Bock's memoir I Will Do Better is available now wherever you buy books.

Four years after the worst of the COVID pandemic, is it really possible that America is still trapped in an epidemic of loneliness and isolation? Many of the nation's experts believe it's true, so much so that U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released a report last year asserting the mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. And the crisis is disproportionately affecting men and young people, leaving many Americans searching for community and a sense of belonging. On this episode of Paternal, Harvard Medical School faculty member, philosopher and father Ian Marcus Corbin discusses the value of maintaining a connection to our communities and developing a clear purpose in life. He also discusses why our society's commitment to individualism and simple conveniences can make it tougher than ever to avoid feeling lonely, and why young people are struggling to feel like they have agency over their lives.

In one of the tightest presidential elections in U.S. history, is it possible that thousands of disaffected young men might be the ones casting the deciding votes? Donald Trump certainly thinks it's a possibility, and the former president has made a concerted effort to court these Gen Z men through interviews with a constellation of podcast and YouTube stars of the Manoverse. But what's really driving these men to turn out for Trump, and will the strategy work? On this episode of Paternal, Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter John Branch discusses what he learned from speaking with a variety of Gen Z men who have latched onto Trump as their savior. He also breaks down how the Trump campaign has attempted to define their candidate as the ultimate male superhero while attacking Democratic Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz, bringing different definitions of masculinity to the forefront of the presidential election. Branch is a longtime reporter for the New York Times, and wrote the article “Donald Trump Courts the Manoverse” earlier this year. 00:00 - Intro 07:05 - Trump courts the Manoverse 11:03 - Stars of the Nanoverse 17:03 - From partying to politics 18:06 - The state of Gen Z men 22:20 - A zero-sum game for disaffected men 25:58 - Trump as masculine superhero 30:42 - Masculinity and Tim Walz 34:15 - Concerns for and conclusions about Gen Z 38:10 - Outro  

Over the past 10 years, Jason Reynolds has become one of the most prolific and celebrated writers working today. He writes for a young audience that he believes is ready to think about and discuss the hard things in life, and he recently added a MacArthur Genius Grant to his collection of awards earned for depicting the rich inner lives of kids of color, ensuring that they see themselves and their communities in literature. But in his latest book, Reynolds is writing for the first time about boys' emotions and questions surrounding sex and intimacy. And he's also thinking about why no one ever asks boys or men about their complex interior lives when it comes to these  essential subjects. On this episode of Paternal, Reynolds discusses writing a love story for black boys, what he learned from his father about facing tough challenges in life, and how his father taught him to live a complete life, even on his deathbed. Reynolds' new book Twenty-Four Seconds from Now… is available wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps:  00:00 - 06:10 - Intro 06:10 - 08:45 - Ideas for writing a love story 08:45 - 13:24 - The misconception about boys and sex 13:24 - 16:25 - How black boys are misrepresented 16:25 - 19:28 - My dad was kind of a cocksman 19:28 - 23:44 - Where masculinity comes up short 23:44 - 25:35 - Midway break 25:35 - 29:32 - Understanding different versions of the human experience 29:32 - 33:30 - A life fully lived, the whole way through 33:30 - 37:19 - Lessons from a late father

Gary Vider is the son of a con man. His father Manny ran a series of schemes in and around New York City for years while Gary was growing up, including dozens of times when father and son conned their way into Madison Square Garden while posing as media members for Sports Illustrated for Kids. Gary met some of the biggest names in sports -  John Elway, Mario Lemieux, and even Michael Jordan - all because Manny had what all good con artists have: The ability to ignore all the possible consequences of his actions. “Most people can't do it,” Gary says, “but my dad was the master.” But what happens when those actions destroy a family, and leave a son isolated from his father for almost 25 years? On this episode of Paternal, Gary looks back on growing up with a con man for a father, what he learned by trying to reconnect with his dad decades later, and why it took becoming a father himself to question what he really knew or believed about his own dad. Gary Vider is the host of the podcast #1 Dad. Episode Timestamps:  00:00 - 09:30 - Intro and life as a fake writer for Sports Illustrated for Kids 09:30 - 12:14 - Comedians and dad issues 12:14 - 15:34 - Manny Vider, the master con man 15:34 - 19:45 - Life as a con man's son 19:45 - 21:35 - The influence of becoming a father 21:35 - 23:45 - Midway break 23:45 - 30:04 - Father and son reunite 30:04 - 32:08 - Deciphering what's true and untrue 32:08 - 36:40 - An atypical father/son relationship 36:40 - 38:01 - Outro

Once you hear the story of the Black civil liberties group MOVE, it's almost impossible to believe you never learned about it before. Dubbed by some as a cult and by others as revolutionaries in the mold of The Black Panther Party, MOVE members railed against racial injustice and inequality in Philadelphia during the 1970s and early 80s, frequently clashing with police. A number of MOVE's members were either jailed or killed as a result, leaving its younger generation to make sense of the legacy of MOVE and how the group's actions shaped their lives. On this episode of Paternal, MOVE member Mike Africa, Jr. discusses his parents' imprisonment for the murder of a police officer, and how he made peace with the knowledge that he was born in a Philadelphia jail cell. He also discusses meeting his father for the first time in prison, the experience of watching his father walk free after 40 years inside, and the challenges of raising his own kids in the shadow of MOVE. Africa is the author of the memoir On A Move, Philadelphia's Notorious Bombing And A Native Son's Lifelong Battle For Justice, which is available now wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 08:51 - Introduction and history of MOVE 08:51 - 12:30 - A marriage and a prison sentence 12:30 - 14:26 - Born in a jail cell 14:26 - 18:57 - Life without a mother and father 18:57 - 22:38 - A first meeting between father and son 22:38 - 24:40 - A father's impact 24:40 - 29:23 - Fatherhood and the legacy of MOVE 29:23 - 32:28 - A father and son reunited  32:28 - Outro

After a particularly feverish Twitter rant in 2018 landed him an invite to write a guest opinion on boys and violence from The New York Times, Michael Ian Black had to ask one simple question: Are you sure you want me? After all, Black is best known as a sketch and standup comic, and a particularly snarky one at that. But he wrote the essay and it subsequently went viral, leading Black to eventually pen the 2020 memoir A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter To My Son, which offers a candid take on his own boyhood, the death of his father, and why he's concerned for his own son's future. On this 2022 episode of Paternal, Black recounts his adolescent experience of desperately seeking all the secrets of manhood, why he tinged his own successful brand of humor with defensive sarcasm, why even the most influential male comics rarely delve into painful vulnerability, and where he failed and succeeded as a father to his two children.

Over the past few years comedian and filmmaker W. Kamau Bell has become one of America's most recognizable purveyors of humor and smart social commentary. And his success is due in large part to his willingness to tackle thorny topics like race, sexual assault, education, and policing, be it as a standup comic, an Emmy-nominated reality show host, or from behind the camera as a documentary filmmaker.  On this episode of Paternal, Bell discusses his latest film 1000% Me: Growing Up Mixed and his own personal experience of raising his three mixed-race daughters, male vulnerability and dad jokes in his comedy, and how he's reckoned with the truth about “America's Dad,” Bill Cosby. Bell's film 1000% Me: Growing Up Mixed is now streaming on MAX.

Everyone at some point has ridden in the back of an Uber, but how often do we think about the people behind the wheel, or how they got there? Jonathan Rigsby had a master's degree and a full-time job when he gave his first Uber ride, reeling from a painful divorce and seeking a way to help support his young son. But Uber's promises of big bucks and a flexible schedule were soon replaced by long nights filled with despair as Rigsby realized he, like millions of other Americans, had been trapped in the cycle of the gig economy. On this episode of Paternal, Rigsby recounts how his divorce led him to the brink of poverty and why he picked up a second job driving all over town, but also what it's really like to work for Uber, where wages are never quite what they seem and you can still feel lonely when the backseat is full. Rigsby is the author of Drive: Scraping by in Uber's America, which is available wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 05:25 - Intro 05:25 - 11:03 - Financial troubles and finding Uber 11:03 - 13:30 - Uber's marketing strategy 13:30 - 16:30 - When people throw up in the car 16:30 - 18:05 - The myth of doing things the right way 18:05 - 20:00 - Doing it all for his son 20:00 - 22:25 - Midway break 22:25 - 26:32 - The caffeine cycle 26:32 - 28:36 - “Are you guys still together?” 28:36 - 29:50 - The shame of divorce 29:50 - 32:00 - Keeping his life a secret 32:00 - 37:00 - The breaking point 37:00 - 41:25 - Lessons learned for father and son

Peter Doocy isn't the first guest to appear on Paternal as the son of a very famous father, but he's definitely the only one who can claim to have an “adverserial bromance” with President Joe Biden. As the Senior White House Correspondent for Fox News, Doocy's made it his job since 2021 to pepper the president and members of his administration with questions about immigration, inflation or international affairs, and in the process has become one of the network's most recognizable figures - just like his father. On this episode of Paternal, Doocy discusses what it was like to grow up as the son of the affable “Fox and Friends” host Steve Doocy and if the family name ever held him back as a journalist, how he approaches fame, fatherhood and social media, and how becoming a dad himself has changed his opinion of Biden as the country's most famous empathetic father figure. Doocy is the host of the three-part series entitled “Strike Zone: The Congressional Baseball Shooting,” which is now streaming on Fox Nation. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 06:17 - Intro 06:17 - 10:15 - Watching his father on “Fox and Friends” 10:15 - 12:02 - Life lessons from his father 12:02 - 13:00 - If the Doocy name held him back 13:00 - 17:34 - Becoming a new star at Fox News 17:34 - 21:09 - Discussing an “adversial bromance” with President Biden and their connection as fathers 21:09 - 22:20 - On new anxieties as a father 22:20 - 24:38 - Discussing an average work day and the perils of social media 24:38 - 25:59 - On lessons from his father about fame 25:59 - 27:46 - The good and bad of fatherhood 27:46 - 29:00 - Outro

Paternal celebrates Father's Day with a special episode paying tribute to all the new dads out there celebrating the holiday for the first time. Three past guests are back on the show to offer their thoughts on the early days of fatherhood and the challenges of becoming a new father, but also on the value of patience, the power a village has to raise a child, and why it's so important to reconsider what we mean when we think of the word “sacrifice.” Guests on this episode of Paternal include author and professor Jesse Thistle, political commentator and attorney Bakari Sellers, and Senior Rabbi Steve Leder. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 06:20 - Introduction 06:20 - 16:00 - Author and professor Jesse Thistle 16:00 - 26:03 - Political commentator and attorney Bakari Sellers 28:36 - 43:33 - Senior Rabbi Steve Leder

Michael Andor Brodeur is a “big man.” That's the term he uses to describe himself after more than 30 years of lifting weights - some of those spent as a powerlifter, and all of those spent not just trying to get fit, but to get big. But for all the time he's spent in the gym over the years, he's probably spent just as much time thinking about the way men think about the connection between men, muscles, and masculinity. On this episode of Paternal, Brodeur discusses the concept of getting big and why some men are so motivated to do so, the connection between how men build their bodies and their inability to express themselves emotionally, how some men use weightlifting to deal with issues like anxiety, grief and addiction, and why the gym is a place where men are free to fail and support one another when they do fail, two things they might not be encouraged to do in other parts of society. Brodeur is the classical music critic at the Washington Post and the author of the book, Swole: The Making of Men and the Meaning of Muscle, which is available wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 05:20 - Introduction 05:20 - 7:13 - First exposure to weight lifting 07:13 - 13:00 - Using weights as a way to change self-image 13:00 - 17:52 - Why men lift weights to be noticed by other men 17:52 - 22:22 - How men use their bodies as primary means of self-expression 22:22 - 25:43 - Why failure and encouragement is accepted by men the gym 25:43 - 30:05 - Carrying grief into the gym 30:05 - 33:30 - A different definition of strength

When you're talking to Bakari Sellers about fatherhood, you're talking to a man who truly is a link between generations. As the son of a famous Civil Rights activist who befriended the likes of Stokely Carmichael and Martin Luther King, Jr., Sellers feels the weight of expectations from his ancestors and his community. And as the father of two young twins, he feels the pressure of helping ensure the world is better for them than it ever was for him. But what happens when that pressure sometimes feels like too much? And what happens when, despite all the work he and his father have done to make it so, he simply can't tell his kids everything will be okay? On this episode of Paternal, Sellers discusses why he sees his life as an extension of his father's journey, how he copes with anxiety, his relationship to anger, and why he thinks the U.S. has reached a nadir after George Floyd's death failed to produce a racial reckoning so many expected. Sellers is a political commentator for CNN and a former state legislator from South Carolina, as well as the author of the new book The Moment, which is available now wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 07:40 - Introduction 07:40 - 10:15  - Lessons from his father 10:15 - 16:00 -  dealing with the pressure of a famous father 16:00 - 19:26 - handling pressure from the Black community and dealing with anxiety 19:26 - 24:20 - on generational changes among poiliticians and activists 24:20 - 27:35 - channeling anger and realizing the world might not be okay for our kids 27:35 - 29:50 - on lessons we teach our kids, and a sense of resignation 29:50 - end credits Read The Transcript For This Episode

If you were a child of the 1980s and early 1990s, you lived through a golden age for sitcom dads. From The Cosby Show to Growing Pains and Roseanne to The Simpsons, fathers of all kinds ruled the airwaves for roughly a decade, providing an entire generation of wide-eyed kids a glimpse into what a father should look like and, for better or worse, what a family can be. But did these portrayals of paternal figures do more harm than good, and how did Friends and Seinfeld land a fatal blow to the fate of sitcom dads? Comedy historian and author Saul Austerlitz joins this episode of Paternal to take a deep dive on the history of the family sitcom, tracing the genre's roots back to the dawn of television. He discusses how fathers were first portrayed in the 1950s and how they have evolved during each decade thereafter, including iconic sitcom dads on Leave it to Beaver, All in the Family, The Cosby Show, Married With Children, Roseanne, and The Simpsons. Austerlitz is a faculty member at NYU who teaches courses on writing about American comedy and writing about television drama, and he's the author of six books, including on the history of sitcoms and the success of the hit series Friends. He recently wrote an article in The Atlantic entitled “Dad Culture Has Nothing to Do With Parenting.” Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 06:56 - Intro 06:56 - 10:33 - The perils of the “dad perjorative” and the connection to sitcoms 10:33 - 15:12 - Sitcom dads in the 1950s and 1960s 15:12 - 21:18 - Discussing Archie Bunker, “All in the Family,” and 70s family sitcoms 23:16 - 28:28 - The success of “The Cosby Show” 28:28 - 32:22 - The rise of the 1980s Superdad 32:22 - 36:12 - “Roseanne” breaks the mold 36:12 - 42:49 - The alternative dads on “Married With Children” and “The Simpsons” 42:49 - 46:25 - The 1990s demise of the family sitcom  46:25 - 48:42 - “Blackish” and dads on modern-day sitcoms 48:42 - 51:40 - What we lose without family sitcoms Read The Transcript For This Episode

Paternal listeners email the show regularly with requests to cover various topics on the show. Some are serious and some are silly, but one request just keeps coming: How do we teach our kids resilience? Dr. Dennis S. Charney is a leading expert in the study of resilience and has spent decades examining the causes of anxiety, fear and depression. He's also interviewed prisoners of war, victims of rape and assault, survivors of natural disasters, and frontline healthcare workers about the traits that have helped them overcome trauma, all in an effort to better understand how we can all learn to be more resilient. On this episode of Paternal, Dr. Charney discusses some of the most compelling factors to building resilience in yourself and your kids, including facing your fears, developing social groups, and establishing core values for you and your family. He also recounts a life-threatening experience that tested his own resilience, decades after living a charmed life studying the challenges of others. Dr. Charney is the co-author of Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life's Greatest Challenges. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 05.30 - Introduction 05:30 - 07:59 - A life-threatening test of resilience 07:59 - 13:27 - Defining resilience and studying trauma victims 13:27 - 18:00 - On facing your fears 18:00 - 19:50 - On the values of optimism 19:50 - 22:15 - On developing social groups and the connection to resilience 22:15 - 24:18 - Discussing the value of role models 24:18 - 28:05 - On identifying your core beliefs, values and family history 28:05 - 29:46 - Discussing the connection between gratitude and resilience 29:46 - 32:15 - On what parents get wrong when they think about teaching kids resilience Read The Transcript For This Episode

Rob Flanagan is a husband and father who lives with his family outside of Boulder, Colorado, and roughly one year ago he and his wife Dana began an ordeal that changed their lives. After a few days of fighting a cold and a slight fever while missing out on attending kindergarten, their daughter Saoirse was suddenly hospitalized and then intubated, and it was unclear if she would ever wake up.  On this episode of Paternal, Flanagan recounts the experience of spending days in the ICU with his wife while they awaited word on the health of their daughter, what the doctor's diagnosis meant for their family, and how he learned to embrace both acceptance and hope on the path to becoming a better father. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 05:43 - Introduction 05:43 - 11:54 - A frightening trip to the hospital 11:54 - 18:48 - Intubation and the diagnosis 18:48 - 23:13 - Asking for help and dealing with complex emotions 25:06 - 30:24 - A reawakening and an uncertain future 30:24 - 37:45 - A new reality, and changes in parenting 37:45 - 41:16 - Balancing what is, and what could have been Read The Transcript For This Episode

Growing up on the Wasauksing First Nation indigenous reserve in Ontario, journalist and bestselling author Waubgeshig Rice learned early in his life about the value of culture and community. But as an Anishinaabe young man schooled in the challenges his ancestors faced as indigenous people in Canada, Rice was also keenly aware of what happens when a community loses its connection to its history, traditions and culture, and how men can easily fall victim to the effects of intergenerational trauma. On this 2022 episode of Paternal, Rice recounts his experience on Wasauksing First Nation and his sometimes conflicted emotions about growing up on the reserve, as well as the challenges his own father faced in trying to reclaim the family's Anishinaabe identity. Rice - who penned the celebrated apocalyptic thriller Moon of the Crusted Snow as well as the recently released follow-up Moon of the Turning Leaves, and was dubbed “one of the leading voices reshaping North American science fiction, horror and fantasy” by the New York Times - also discusses the emotional strain he experienced after the complicated birth of his first son, and how masculinity and vulnerability are valued on “the rez.”

Most people know Kwame Alexander as the Newbery Medal-winning author of The Crossover, the bestselling children's book about two young brothers hooked on basketball. Long before he was an award-winning author, however, Alexander spent his time writing love poems, in an attempt to impress women and find his voice as a poet and a young man.  But three decades and two marriages later, Alexander is a 54-year-old father of two now reconsidering those relationships from his past, and what exactly he knows - and doesn't know - about love. And in order to do that, he's thinking more about the marriage his parents modeled for him as a child, as well as what he learned about love and relationships from his father, a hard-nosed Baptist minister who rarely showed affection. Alexander's book, Why Fathers Cry at Night, is available wherever you buy books, as is his latest collection of poems, This Is the Honey: An Anthology of Contemporary Black Poets. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 07:25 - Intro 07:25 - 09:50 - on learning to love from watching our parents' relationship 09:50 - 19:47 - discussing Kwame Alexander's father's version of tough love 19:47 - 24:26 - digging into his father's jazz collection 26:31 - 32:40 - on the vulnerability required to write about broken relationships 32:40 - 35:36 - on talking to our parents and children about love Read The Transcript For This Episode

Longtime political journalist Tim Alberta spent more than three years speaking with pastors and churchgoers across the country in a search for answers about what's happening in contemporary Evangelicalism. Why were so many congregations becoming more political, and seemingly less invested in traditional Christian values? Why were they so motivated by fear? How could so many Evangelicals support Donald Trump, who doesn't share their beliefs? And what do all these dramatic changes mean for the future of Evangelicals in the United States, including Alberta's three young sons? On this episode of Paternal, Alberta discusses his life as an Evangelical Christian, the influence of his born-again Christian father, what he learned about Evangelicalism from speaking with today's church leaders, and why some churchgoers confronted him at his own father's funeral about politics in the era of Trump. Alberta is a staff writer for The Atlantic and the author of the New York Times bestselling book The Kingdom, The Power and The Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism, which is available now wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 05:56 - Introduction and description of The Kingdom, The Power and The Glory: American Evangelicals in an Age of Extremism05:56 - 13:11 - Background on Tim Alberta's father, senior pastor Richard Alberta13:11 - 16:56 - On the experience of growing up as a pastor's kid16:56 - 19:30 - Discussing his father's funeral and blowback from members of the church congregation21:05 - 27:01 - On Evangelicals, idolatry, and fighting for America as if salvation itself hangs in the balance27:01 - 31:03 - On Evangelicals and fear of a changing society27:01 - 31:03 - On Evangelicals and fear of a changing society 31:03 - 35:27 - Why Evangelicals have rallied around Trump 35:27 - 38:50 - The challenge of inheriting faith from your father 38:50 - 44:32 - On what kind of faith he wants for his kids Read The Transcript For This Episode

Curtis Chin spent most of his childhood looking for a comfortable place to sit. And that was especially difficult for Chin, who grew up in the 1970s and 80s as one of six kids raised by parents who owned Chung's Cantonese Cuisine, one of the most revered Chinese restaurants in Detroit. Despite its location in one of the roughest neighborhoods in the city, the restaurant sold more than four thousand egg rolls every week and was frequented by celebrities like Joni Mitchell, Smokey Robinson, and Senator Eugene McCarthy. On this episode of Paternal, Chin reflects on the experience of growing up in the sweaty back kitchen of a Chinese restaurant, and reflects on what he learned from his father, a charismatic waiter who happily welcomed local dignitaries from City Hall along with pimps and prostitutes from down the block. Chin also discusses the challenge of being a gay man during the height of the AIDS crisis, and the legacy of Chung's, which made an unexpected return to his life long after he thought he'd left it behind. Chin's memoir, Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant, is available wherever you buy books. Episode Timestamps: 00:00 - 05:51 - Introduction05:51 - 07:34 - Discussing the popularity of Chinese restaurants in America07:34 - 11:20 - The role of Chung's Cantonese Cuisine in Detroit11:20 - 15:54 - Introduction to Curtis Chin's father and mother, and gender dynamics in the restaurant15:54 - 21:13 - Discussing Curtis Chin's father and when Hollywood actor Yul Brynner came into the restaurant23:00 - 31:37 - On coming of age, and fears of coming out31:37 - 37:36 - The legacy of Chung's Cantonese Cuisine  Read The Transcript For This Episode

Paternal closes out the year with a collection of the best conversations from 2023, curating five of the best segments from the past year into one collection. On this episode, Paternal guests discuss a variety of topics including the challenges of raising mixed-race kids, how father-son relationships impacted some of the biggest rock acts of the 1990s, how burnout at work can affect your parenting, dealing with grief after the loss of a partner, and how we can hold all the good and bad of life together in the same hands. Guests on this episode of Paternal include comedian and filmmaker W. Kamau Bell, rock critic and podcast host Rob Harvilla, author and professor Jonathan Malesic, author and professor Matthew Salesses, and New York Times bestselling author and poet Clint Smith. Stay tuned for all new episodes of Paternal in 2024. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.  

Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the latest in a series of special episodes, this time to discuss the connection between the social construction of masculinity and men's relationship with sex and intimacy. Men receive convoluted messages about what sex and intimacy are supposed to look like from an early age, but can they really take stock of what they've learned and change their behavior as they get older? Dr. Addis also discusses how boys' early exposure to intimacy and vulnerability can shape their sex lives as men, the metaphor of men's bodies as performative machines, why it's so hard for men to discuss sex with one another, and solutions for men looking to reexamine how they think about intimacy and improve their sex life. Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at michaeladdiscoaching.com. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Back in 2016, Brandon Stosuy began to notice something strange about many of the people around him. Seemingly no matter where he went - jogging in Brooklyn, riding the subway into Manhattan, waiting for a plane at JFK - he spotted someone crying. Stosuy has spent the past seven years thinking about those people and what brought them to tears, and now he's become known to a number of his friends, thousands of strangers, and even a few famous rock musicians as The Crying Guy. On this episode of Paternal, Stosuy reflects on those first few people he saw in tears in New York and how he turned those observations into a collection of essays from more than 100 people about the last time they cried and why, including death, childbirth, breakups, or simply listening to the right song at the right time. Sad Happens: A Celebration of Tears is available now wherever you buy books. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.  

Isaac Fitzgerald has a large tattoo on his right forearm of Saint Jude, the patron saint of impossible or lost causes. It might seem like a fitting mark for a man who resorted to drugs and alcohol to endure a childhood full of insecurity and violence, but Saint Jude is also the patron saint of hope. And for Fitzgerald - the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir Dirtbag, Massachusetts - hope lies in the communities where others might never expect to look. On this episode of Paternal, Fitzgerald recounts why an unstable home life in rural Massachusetts led him to seek comfort in teenage fight clubs and bars, and why he's spent years distrusting feelings of security. He also discusses why he sees his father in a different light as an adult, and how a therapist taught him the real meaning of forgiveness. Fitzgerald's 2022 memoir Dirtbag, Massachusetts,  is now available in paperback wherever you buy books. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Bill McKibben doesn't exactly do memoirs. But the latest work from the bestselling author and influential environmental activist is about as close as he'll get, examining why two crucial moments from his childhood - an anti-war protest followed by the rejection of low and middle-income housing in his otherwise affluent Massachusetts suburb - helped symbolize a dramatic and costly shift to individualism in America during the 1970s. On this episode of Paternal, McKibben reflects on those moments and discusses why the rise of the American suburb did so much damage to the environment and our sense of community. He also discusses the impact left on him by his father, the hope for the future that he sees in his daughter, and why he's rallying Baby Boomers in the final act of their lives. McKibben's latest book, The Flag, The Cross, and the Station Wagon, is available wherever you buy books.

Acclaimed author Andre Dubus III once wrote that he's drawn to writing about “working class men who work with their hands … men up against it who only know one or two ways how to get free, both of which can hurt other people or themselves.” Dubus knows from experience. He grew up in the 1970s and 80s with a famous but notoriously absent father in the mill towns along the Merrimack River in Massachusetts, always eager to throw a punch if it proved his worth as a man. His experiences led to the celebrated memoir Townie, dubbed by one critic as “the most sensitive and gripping account of male violence imaginable.” On this episode of Paternal, Dubus discusses how he learned to perform masculinity with his fists, the influence of his literary father, how prisoners and police officers alike responded to the violence in Townie, and how his three grown children reacted to reading about their father's past life as a man fighting to get free. Dubus' latest novel, Such Kindness, is available now wherever you buy books. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Over the past few years comedian and filmmaker W. Kamau Bell has become one of America's most recognizable purveyors of humor and smart social commentary. And his success is due in large part to his willingness to tackle thorny topics like race, sexual assault, education, and policing, be it as a standup comic, an Emmy-nominated reality show host, or from behind the camera as a documentary filmmaker.  On this episode of Paternal, Bell discusses his latest film 1000% Me: Growing up Mixed and his own personal experience of raising his three mixed-race daughters, male vulnerability and dad jokes in his comedy, and how he's reckoned with the truth about “America's Dad,” Bill Cosby. Bell's film 1000% Me: Growing up Mixed is now streaming on MAX. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

When Israel “DT” Del Toro, Jr. was 12 years old, he made a promise to his ailing father that he would always watch over his younger siblings, and take care of his family. When he was a 30 year-old Staff Sergeant in the Air Force, he made a promise to his wife and young son that he would return safely from Afghanistan. But then everything changed with a flash of light and an explosion that literally shook the ground beneath his feet, leaving Del Toro, Jr. severely wounded and wondering if he would live another day, let alone keep any of the promises he'd made to those he loved. On this episode of Paternal, Del Toro, Jr. looks back on a life that took him from a working-class neighborhood in East Joliet, Illinois to the mountains of Afghanistan and eventually to a hospital in Texas, where he fought for the chance to reunite with his young son after suffering burns over 80 percent of his body. Del Toro, Jr. is a retired Senior Master Sergeant and received both the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart for his service, and he is the author of the 2023 memoir A Patriot's Promise, available now wherever you buy books. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Roughly two decades ago filmmaker Jay Rosenblatt started a ritual with his daughter Ella that he never expected would lead anywhere but the family archives. But the project that unfolded - an annual series of questions he asked Ella on her birthday until she turned 18 - eventually led to an acclaimed portrayal of a father-daughter relationship, and an Academy Award nomination.  On this episode of Paternal, Rosenblatt looks back on the origins of his celebrated short film How Do You Measure A Year?, the questions he asked of his daughter each year, and why the film serves as an intimate example of what it looks like when kids grow up in the blink of an eye. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Alexi Lalas knows all about opportunity. As a professional soccer player and member of the United States national team during the 1990s, Lalas used the global platform of the 1994 FIFA World Cup to introduce the world to his carefully cultivated image of a rebellious red-headed rockstar with a love for the world's game, and life's never been the same since. More than two decades later Lalas is still in the public eye as a television analyst for Fox Sports at this summer's Women's World Cup in Australia and New Zealand, but fame does come with a price. Lalas constantly battles with soccer fans on social media and has even received death threats from his harshest critics over the years, and some fans have no problem harassing him when they spot him in public. On this episode of Paternal from 2018, Lalas discusses how he tries to shield his two young kids from the vitriol he receives on social media, how the World Cup and the public persona he created back in the 90s changed his fortunes forever, and why he teaches his kids to constantly be aware of their surroundings, always open to the next great opportunity in life. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Longtime rock critic Rob Harvilla has made a lengthy career out of his love for the '90s-era songs that shaped his days as a teenager and college student. He's the host of the hit podcast “60 Songs That Explain the ‘90s” and he's built a devoted fan base of equally obsessed music fans while exploring songs from artists like Nirvana, Madonna, REM, and the Wu-Tang Clan. But despite his success, sometimes he just likes to mow the lawn with an old Soul Asylum album in his headphones before he gets back to his life as a dad. On this episode of Paternal, Harvilla discusses fatherhood themes in the songs from some of the biggest artists of the '90s, the origin of the term “Dad Rock” and why you're probably listening to it, the song he sang to his newborn son, and how he feels about his kids streaming songs at the push of a button instead of waiting for hours to record them off of MTV, like a real music fan should. Harvilla's podcast “60 Songs That Explain the ‘90s” is available on Spotify.

Jake Tapper has been a leading figure in American media for more than a decade, serving as the chief DC anchor at CNN, the host of the network's weekday show “The Lead with Jake Tapper,” and the co-host of the Sunday public-affairs show, “State of the Union.” During that time he's interviewed some of the most consequential and controversial figures in American politics, and in the process learned a few things about why powerful men are so reluctant to admit when they're wrong, and what it costs them in the end. On this episode of Paternal, Tapper discusses how he balanced a high-powered career in journalism with a life as a father of two children, how his own father influenced his upbringing in Philadelphia, and the traits that make a successful leader. Tapper's new book, All the Demons Are Here, is available wherever you buy books. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Good food has always been an integral part of Matt Moore's family. As the grandson of a man who helped run a popular food store in southern Georgia and the grand nephew of a soldier who endured World War II in part on his family's famous fried chicken, Moore has always been connected to the role food can play in a family's story. And now, as a Nashville-based cook, father, and the author of five popular cookbooks, Moore spends his days cooking for his family and preaching how other men can make good food a bigger part of their own story too. On this episode of Paternal, Moore discusses how a neighborhood cookbook first turned him onto cooking, why he's invested in learning more about his local butchers, how much meat he eats and where he gets the best cuts of meat for a summer barbecue, and how he uses cookouts to build his male friendships. Moore's latest cookbook, Butcher on the Block, is available now wherever you buy books. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Paternal celebrates Father's Day by paying tribute to all the new dads out there celebrating the holiday for the first time, this time by bringing back three of the show's most beloved guests to weigh in on how they survived the early days of parenting. The guests weigh in on what surprised them about becoming a father, what they did right as new dads, what they did wrong, and which piece of advice they would give their new-dad selves all these years later. Guests on this special episode of Paternal include Seattle radio DJ John Richards, Newbery Medal-winning author and poet Kwame Alexander, and politician and author Jason Kander. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Most people know Kwame Alexander as the Newbery Medal-winning author of The Crossover, the bestselling children's book about two young brothers hooked on basketball. Long before he was an award-winning author, however, Alexander spent his time writing love poems, in an attempt to impress women and find his voice as a poet and a young man.  But three decades and two marriages later, Alexander is a 54-year-old father of two now reconsidering those relationships from his past, and what exactly he knows - and doesn't know - about love. And in order to do that, he's thinking more about the marriage his parents modeled for him as a child, as well as what he learned about love and relationships from his father, a hard-nosed Baptist minister who rarely showed affection. Alexander's new book, Why Fathers Cry at Night, is available wherever you buy books on May 23. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

Jonathan Malesic spent more than a decade in what he thought was his dream job as a college professor. But after years on the clock he found himself exhausted, angry, and struggling to feel like he was making an impact with his students. But even when he quit his job in order to solve one problem, he quickly realized he had another on his hands: Without a job, was he suddenly less of a man? On this episode of Paternal, Malesic recounts the experience that led him to studying the phenomenon of burnout, how it affects men and women differently, what role work plays in defining a man's sense of masculinity, and the effects of burnout on men when it comes to fatherhood. Malesic's 2022 book The End of Burnout is available wherever you buy books, and he is also the author of the 2022 essay “How Men Burn Out,” from The New York Times. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.

When Bryce Andrews was a kid growing up in Seattle, he always admired Montana-born cowboys, and men who rope and herd cattle. So when he finally drove over the Cascades and settled in Montana as a young, do-it-all cattle rancher working under an endless blue sky, he knew he'd found his place. But then he was gifted his grandfather's Smith and Wesson .357 Magnum revolver, a weapon that fascinated him as a little boy and haunted him as a man living alone on a desolate cattle ranch an hour's drive from civilization. On this episode of Paternal, Andrews discusses how he came to carry his grandfather's gun, what he's learned about the violent nature of life on a cattle ranch, and, in the wake of becoming a father himself, what one man can do with a treasured inheritance so closely tied to a history of violence. Andrews is the author of the 2023 memoir Holding Fire: A Reckoning with the American West, available wherever you buy books. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.    

Award-winning research psychologist and professor Dr. Michael Addis returns to Paternal for the latest in a series of special episodes, this time to discuss the complicated relationship so many men have with anger. We teach boys that anger is an acceptable emotion even at a very young age, but what's really at the core of the issue when a boy or man loses his temper? Dr. Addis also dives deep into the connection between anger and control, why so many men are ambivalent about each other's angry outbursts in a social setting, what role fatherhood plays in anger, and what men can do when anger becomes a problem affecting their quality of life. Dr. Addis is a professor in the Department of Psychology at Clark University in Worcester, Mass. He also provides personal coaching and consultation for men at www.incontextcoaching.com. Learn more about Paternal and sign up for our newsletter at www.paternalpodcast.com. You can also email host Nick Firchau at nick@paternalpodcast.com with any comments or suggestions for men he should profile on the show. Make sure you subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or wherever you're listening, then keep an eye on your feed for new episodes.