The Look & Sound of Leadership

Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups.Tools in this episode:Tone-setting at the opening:Get people engaged by using the chat to think together;Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules);Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat. (#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote The Coaching Habit and hosts the Change Signal podcast. Much gratitude!)Three facilitation skills:Use learning questions;Redirect; don't be the hub;Activate your deadpan.All our infographics are available for free in our Tools Bin. Help yourself. Tom's most recent conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders explored How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles's Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website, then come join us!Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsEpisodes with more tools for engagement:141 - High-Stakes Meetings253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully213 - How to Re-engage a Team34 - Keeping Repeated Material Fresh175 - Leading Offsites143 - Powerful Tools for Team: Plus / Delta148 - Taming MeetingsAre you coach curious? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here. Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.Until next time!From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

Knowing she's never been good with people, a leader seeks coaching to her deepen relationships in ways she can tolerate.Two ways to deepen workplace relationships:Matching & Curiosity4 Ways to Match:Match Purpose Match Energy Match Conversations Match Vulnerability Express Curiosity by Asking Deep QuestionsMake sure your questions are open-endedInvite reflectionKeep the other person talkingAnswering questions powerfully is another way to deepen relationships. Check out our recent episode on that topic.Deepen relationships at work by listening to Dave Stachowiak's conversation on Coaching For Leaders with Charles Duhigg about his book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Recently, Tom joined Dave on Coaching for Leaders to explore How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode.Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles's Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website. Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships:Communication SkillsBuilding RelationshipsManaging YourselfFive episodes that'll help you get deeper:Building EmpathyBuilding ListeningBuilding RapportInfluenceThe Conflict ConversationAre you ready to invest in yourself? We offer listeners world-class coaching at an affordable price. Reach out to Tom here.Transcripts of every episode, including this one, are available for free here. More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here.Until next time!From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A leader is losing credibility with her senior leaders. Her boss thinks she can turn it around by learning the sorting tool that transformed him as a communicator, so he brings in the coach who taught him.Sorting & Labeling! The grandaddy of all communication tools. If you can sort and label you will sound like a leader.The four steps in Sorting & Labeling:Use a headlineUse a numberLabel each numberTransition with claritySee it all for yourself in our free Sorting & Labeling infographic.To all women who work in social or environmental change: Women's Impact Alliance wants to support you. Check out their website to see all they ways they can help you succeed.Coaches! Come join our Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website. Categories of episodes that have more ways to help you talk so people understand you:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsPresentation SkillsFive episodes that'll speed you down the path:106 - Communicating with Clarity253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully65 - Sorting & Labeling16 - Sounding Well-Spoken20 - Staying on TrackCurious about coaching for yourself? We offer a special program for listeners. Reach out to Tom here. Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here. More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here!Until next time!From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A leader was given one goal for his coaching: improve how he answered questions. Knowing he struggled with this not only at work, but at home, he asked his coach for tools. Our free PDF shows the two scripts: one for closed-ended questions, one for open-ended. Download it here.Don't assume you know why people ask what they ask. You don't. Ever.    The closed-ended script:Answer what's askedMatch LengthCheck for understandingThen add your detailsNo mattress stuffing!It's a customer service exchange.The open-ended script:Start with a number Label the first itemExplain in briefMake the leap. Start with a number. It'll be okay.When you know things, use this script. You will sound expert.The open-ended script is a variation of the Sorting & Labeling tool. Download the PDF and listen to the episode.CALLING ALL COACHES!Come join ICF-LA's Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We'd love to see you. Check us out here.Related categories in the library:Communication SkillsLeadershipPerception – How Others Perceive YouFive related episodes:215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire249 - How to Tackle Overtalking159 - Short Sounds Confident185 - The Talky Executive151 - Under Executive QuestioningHave ideas about how “The Look & Sound of Leadership” might grow and evolve? Share your ideas with Tom here.Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here. Our monthly email, with resources you don't hear about on the show. Subscribe here!Wishing you spring freshness, From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem.     The three self-esteem practices are:Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourselfSelf-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy”Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not.Download our free Feeling Words Grid.The Tools bin with other free resources is here.Four ways to help you live in reality:Respect factsRespect facts about yourselfInterpretations are not factsFeelings are not factsNathaniel Branden's “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” is still a definitive work. Check out the 31-week sentence completion exercise in the back.Related categories in the library:Managing Yourself  Perception – How You Perceive YourselfSelf-TalkFive related episodes:241 - Conquering People Pleasing209 - How to Build Self-Awareness224 - How to Disarm a Trigger242 - Mastering Nerves231 - Staying Afloat in a ShitstormCurious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. Our monthly email – finally easy to subscribe to! Click here!CALLING ALL COACHES!Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific.2025 Meeting DatesFebruary 14April 11June 13August 8September 12 November 14Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am PacificSponsored by ICF-LAStay safe, everyone.From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A coaching client wonders what elements need to be present for someone to appear ‘executive.' Two executive coaches ponder this question and come up with five elements they deem essential.Categories in the archive to explore:Developing New BehaviorsExecutive PresencePerception – How You're PerceivedSix episodes to dive into:189 - Don't Take Anything Personally178 - Executive Presence – Three Pillars168 - Influence108 - Shouldering the Burden of Leadership23 - Speed of ThoughtDownload the Six Books for Growth here.Listen to “The Show Must Go On” episode, about a real-life on-stage catastrophe.Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.FOR COACHES:Michael Lewis's podcast, “Against the Rules,” devotes its second season (2020) to all different types of coaching. Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific.2025 Meeting DatesFridays, 9:00 – 10:30am PacificFebruary 14April 11June 13August 8September 12 November 14Sponsored by ICF-LAWishing us all compassion and grace in 2025.From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A senior leader, upset about having flubbed her reply to ‘Tell us about yourself' during a high-stakes interview, talks with her coach about how to prepare for what she considers to be an incredibly stupid question. Categories in the archive to explore:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation SkillsSix episodes to dive into:34 - Keeping Repeated Materials Fresh77 - The Power of Rehearsal65 - Sorting & Labeling180 - Becoming Expert114 - Gravitas124 - Personal BrandingFor help Sorting & Labeling, download the PDF.For help finding your three words, use our Needs & Values assessment.For a new way of thinking about interviewing: Interviewology, The New Science of Interviewing.”For career guidance, Michele Calderigi, head of Next Career, is a seasoned counselor.Lois Frankel's Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office remains a favorite among senior women in the workplace.Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.Safe and sane holidays, everyone!from The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A chief officer had known for years he was an over talker. His CEO, desperate for improvement, gave him a coach. This episode highlights their first coaching conversation. Two mindsets from this episode:When you speak, have a destination in mind. Ask yourself: “What is my point exactly?” and “Why is this something they need to know?”Pay attention to your listeners. Respond to their interests.Ask yourself: “Does what I'm talking about right now help us get to the destination?” If not, skip it.It doesn't matter why you overtalk. Overtalking is limiting. Build your awareness of when you do it.Learn to ‘hear' the communications you have.Who talked how long? What were the smaller conversations within the larger communication?More tools to build your self-awareness and communication skills can be found in the Essential Communications bin and in the archive of all 16 years of the show.Build awareness browsing these categories:Self-ManagementPerception – How You Perceive YourselfDevelop your communication skills in this category:Communication SkillsFive Episodes to help your skills are:53 - Answer What's Asked65 - Sorting & Labeling20 - Staying on Track11 - Sounding Executive16 - Sounding Well-Spoken“Think Fast Talk Smart” podcast with Matt Abrahams. Great tools to help you be a better communicator.Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.Coaches!Download the results of ICF-LA's pricing survey here.Be safe, everyone! The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A vice-president gets kudos for likability but knocks for her inability to listen. With her coach, she talks about listening repeatedly. This episode features one of those conversations. The 3 listening mindsets:Listen to learnFeelings are naturalStay separateDownload the free multi-page learning tool about listening here. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive:Communication SkillsManaging YourselfRelationship BuildingFive episodes you might listen to are:136 -  A Breakdown of Listening83 - Leadership and Listening10 - Listen Without An Agenda229 - The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional IntelligenceCoaches!Download the pricing survey here.Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We welcome coaches at every stage of development. Check us out here:If you're curious about coaching, reach out to Tom here. Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here. More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, much gratitude! 

Battling perfectionism and anxiety, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a tool that helps her tame her terrors. This episode dovetails with many ideas in last month's episode about Coaching versus Therapy.Tom talks about his own bout with anxiety and a near career-ending attack of nervousness in this episode from April. https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/mastering-nerves/Pixar's Inside Out 2 has a powerful depiction of a 13-year-old girl suffering a full-blown anxiety attack. The experience and its aftermath is moving.MindShift CBT is a free app designed to help you take charge of your anxiety and develop more effective ways of thinking.  Watch the introductory videoDr. Steven Melemis, a mood disorder expert, wrote I Want to Change My Life, filled with practical exercises and a one-month step-by-step plan to start you on a road to transformation.In under two minutes, Tom shared a “golden nugget” on the “How to Survive and Thrive Podcast.” You can hear it here.This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive:For WomenPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentSelf-TalkFive episodes with more tools to help you master anxiety are:#52 Coaching v Therapy #152 Combating Emotional Hijacks#147 Conquering Fear#96 The Many Parts of you#78 Unmasking a Stand-InCurious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Want a free transcript of this episode? You can download it here. Every month we share more resources in our Essential News email. Sign up here.To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! 

Tired of feeling like a fraud, a leader searches for help down different paths. She and her coach talk about how coaching is, and is not, like therapy.The leader in this episode wrestles with feelings of being a fraud. Tom talks about three resources to help manage that feeling:“The Executive Impostor”  Episode #176 of “The Look & Sound of Leadership”Self-Esteem at Work by Nathaniel Branden & Warren BennisThe Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire ShipmanAdditional tools to support your professional development are these free PDFs from our Essential Tools bin:Johari WindowReadiness in CoachingYou can listen to Tom's conversations on these two shows:“I Need at Coach” with Adam Packard “Take Five” with Paul ButlerThis episode is tagged in four categories in our podcast archive:For WomenManaging YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentSelf-TalkFour episodes, in addition to “The Executive Impostor” listed above, that will help you dive deeper into the ideas in this episode are:52 - Coaching v Therapy 191 - Coaching Under Attack78 - Unmasking a Stand In171 - Taming the Wild ChildBe in touch with Tom here.Grab a free transcript of this episode here.We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! 

A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message. This month's coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively? Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF.In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here's the column he mentions.This episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Communication SkillsFeedbackManaging UpFive related episodes you might listen to are:74 Dealing with Emotional Responses14 Delivering Tough Feedback32 Giving Powerful Feedback118 Perception is Reality99 The Disruptive Executive – Part OneBe in touch with Tom here. Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! 

Knowing she'll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like.Resources for Building Your Networking SkillsLeverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report.Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network”Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech”10 Rules for NetworkingLink to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools binSorting & LabelingLink to Sorting & Labeling PDF in Essential Tools binThe Look & Sound of Leadership: “Assume Equality”The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Being Concise”This month's episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:For WomenRelationship BuildingSocial SkillsFive episodes to grow your networking skills: 162 - Acting on the Corporate Stage180 - Becoming Expert193 - Branding Yourself176 - The Executive Impostor192 - Pursuing a Promotion 2020Grab a free transcript of this episode here. Be in touch with Tom here.We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.Listen to Tom's conversation with Scott Ritzheimer on “Secrets of the High Demand Coach.”COACHES!Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You'll get CCE's, too!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! #podcast#leadershipnetworking#growyournetwork#professoinalconnections#networkingskills#leadershipdevelopment#networkbuilding#careerconnections

An ambitious leader knows she'll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help. Some core concepts from this episode:The purpose of networking is to know people.Don't target people. Nurture a relationship.Make networking 5% of your job every week.Networking makes you a more valuable employee.Show interest in the other person. No monologuing about yourself.Listen to Tom's “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories podcast with Dr. Sam Humphrey. COACHES!Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You'll get CCE's, too!https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/Be in touch with Tom here.Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin including one called “10 Rules of Networking.”  This month's episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:For WomenRelationship BuildingSocial SkillsFive episodes to grow your networking skills: 42 - The Art of Chat58 - Elevator Speeches242 - Mastering Nerves129 - Mentoring & Mentors66 - NetworkingTom also mentioned an episode called Conquering People Pleasing.Grab a free transcript of the episode here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks! 

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom's Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:Celebrate Incremental ImprovementWrite Happy EndingsIgnore Your NervesHere is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0Email Tom and tell him he's crazy here.For Coaches! 2 Resources!1.  Coaching Stories Podcast2.  Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE's given!Tom's conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here.Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin.This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:Managing YourselfNervousnessSelf-TalkFive episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: Act “As If”Choosing PersistenceConquering FearThe Executive ImpostorThe Many Parts of YouGrab a free transcript of the episode here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Angry at himself for continually putting others' needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try. Be in touch with Tom here.Listen to Tom's conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership. G.W. Bailey's imdb page is here.This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:For WomenManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies: 188 Boundaries165 The Conflict Conversation220 Holding Boundaries219 How to Set Boundaries116 Speaking Your Truth Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:AssertivenessFeedbackManagement SkillsFive episodes you might listen to are:#47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors#18 Holding People Accountable#138 Managing Disruptive Executives#127 Managing Performance: Up or Out#65 Sorting & LabelingA free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!#podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges  #behaviormanagement  #leadershiptips   #leadershipdevelopment  

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who's a Jerk.” Tom's wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself.Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here.Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:The Disruptive Executive – Part OneThe Disruptive Executive – Part TwoDon't Take It PersonallyHandling Defensive BehaviorsThe High-Maintenance ExecutiveLooking for a transcript of the show? Download it here.Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership. Happy, healthy, safe new year!#podcast #podcastadvice #dealingwithnarcissists #toxicrelationships #navigatingnarcissism #emotionalresilience

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show?  Read it here.More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:For WomenPerception – how you perceive othersRelationship BuildingHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:188 - Boundaries210 - How to grow your self-management67 - “I hate politics”142 - The Mindful Executive121 - Your Goodwill Bank AccountOur monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Let us know how we can support you.Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do? Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:Self-TalkLeadershipFor WomenHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:187 - Agreeable Disagreement215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire192 - Pursuing a Promotion207 - Tough Conversations67 - “I Hate Politics”Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.JAPAN!Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.comLet us know how we can support you.Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership,  be well! And thanks! 

A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can't seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause.Tools for teams abound in this episode. The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:Say ‘thank you' when people offer an idea;Be curious; don't dismiss ideas or people;Don't take differences personally; it's not about you;Develop your comfort with disagreement.The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling.Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom's conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsManagement SkillsSpecific episodes that will help you develop your team are:Facilitating Open DialogueHow Teams FightLeadership Behavior in MeetingsPower Tools for Teams: Plus/DeltaQuestions as LeadershipTaming Meetings Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show.Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!#podcast #TeamDecisionMaking #Teamwork #Leadership #ConsensusBuilding    #EffectiveTeams  #TeamCommunication #TeamLeadership   

A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid.The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better.The course's workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It's available for purchase online. Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsManaging YourselfRelationship BuildingFive episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are:ConflictThe Conflict ConversationCreating Safety for Hard TalksA Difficult ConversationResolving ConflictEvery month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show!Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks! 

A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most. This episode identified seven essential leadership skills:Conquer catastrophic thinking;Use fewer words;Value relationships as highly as results;Don't take anything personally;Commitment to Development;Reflection;Speak for Yourself.Resources to develop those last three:Commitment to DevelopmentThe Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skillsFour Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills thenschel@essentialcomm.com – my email address if you want help thinking about your own developmentThe Ability to ReflectMindfulness ResourcesBuilding Self-AwarenessSpeak for YourselfThe Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word”Episodes to build assertion:Showing TeethThe Voice of AuthorityAssertion v Aggression This month's episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories:Executive PresenceLeadershipSelf-TalkFive episodes to help you with different skills are:Building Empathy“Don't Take Anything Personally”The Executive ExecutivePersonal ConnectionsShort Sounds ConfidentOur monthly email has links to more resources. You can sign up here.All our infographics are available to you for free in the Essential Tools bin.Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she's ever met. This episode was packed with tools. We've put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.Harvard Business Review's Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave's, this is indispensable. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.  To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:Communication SkillsManagement Skills Relationship BuildingFive specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:7 Steps to Stop Emotional HijacksBe Impeccable with Your Word Handling Defensive BehaviorsManaging Bad BehaviorManaging Disruptive ExecutivesSign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode.Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here.    Or shoot me an email with your questions. I'm at tom@essentialcomm.com.All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who'd traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence.Lots and lots of tools and resources this month:Free downloads:The Feeling Words GridEQ ModelBooks and papers to sharpen your skills“Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success” “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success”“Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”“Executive Presence” from Center for Talent InnovationThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Executive PresenceManaging YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentFive episodes to help you command a room:109 Building Emotional Intelligence 146 Building Empathy155 The Human Element69 Leadership & Self-Deception17 Speaking for Yourself Please help yourself to any (or all!) of our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.Our deepest gratitude to those who post reviews. Thank you!!! Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad.In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about:“Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.”Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184Executive Coaching Special Interest GroupThe Feeling Word GridThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Managing YourselfPerception – How You Perceive YourselfSelf-TalkFive episodes to help you manage during difficult times:109 - Building Emotional Intelligence52 - Coaching versus Therapy152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks75 - “Don't Take Anything Personally”171 - Taming the Wild ChildAll our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.”In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed:Vocal varietyExpect resistanceRhythmVolumePitchThis episode has multiple tips and tools for each of those five development areas.The Zootopia clip that gets so much attention is here:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKwnUa3txoThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation SkillsFive episodes to help you command a room:186 Video Feedback & Executive Presence120 Captivate Your Audience77 The Power of Rehearsal64 I  Talk Too Fast!34 Keeping Repeated Material FreshAll our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Thanks for supporting us with your reviews. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles.There are lots of ideas in this episode. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we've created an infographic for you to download. It's in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself!This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:LeadershipManagement SkillsPerception – How You're PerceivedFive related episodes you might listen to are: 139Engagement & Performance138Managing Disruptive Executives140 Showing Teeth148Taming Meetings156The Voice of AuthorityMuch gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support and all your kind words.Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters.This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we've created an infographic for you to download. It's in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:LeadershipManagement SkillsRelationship BuildingFive related episodes you might listen to are: 139Dynamic One-on-Ones138How Teams Fight179 Managing Former Peers148Taming Meetings156The Voice of AuthorityWe are so grateful to those of you post reviews. It only takes you a minute or two, but it makes a world of difference for us. Our purpose is to support your growth and development. Let us know how we can help. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work.A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself.The model in this month's episode is a variation on The ACT Matrix. Here's our favorite YouTube video about The Matrix.The creators of The ACT Matrix wrote a book to help practitioners use the tool.This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Developing New BehaviorsManaging YourselfSelf-TalkHere are five episodes to help you get unstuck: 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks*Blind SpotsHow to Build Self-Awareness*How to Grow your Self-Management*How to Show Up* Indicates there's a PDF in the Essential Tools bin to support the ideas in that episode.We are so excited to dive into the new year with you all! All the best,Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices.We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference. It's in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself.The “Don't Judge Too Quickly” ads are on YouTube here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8NRgWtPaE&t=18sThis current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Managing YourselfPerception – How You Perceive YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentIn addition to the various episodes listed above, five that will help you think about your thinking are:   102 – Getting Unstuck210 – How to Grow Your Self-Management63 – Positive Opposites154 – Self-Limiting Beliefs190 – Thinking ErrorsSafe and sane holidays, everyone. See you in the New Year! With gratitude,Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A senior executive worries that his lieutenants are not being taken seriously by the senior leadership team. He discusses with a coach how to help his rising leaders accelerate their growth. This is that conversation.     We created a new free Essential Tool for you called “Executive Thinking.” It illustrates the “altitude” analogy Tom told during the episode. It also supports one of the four exercises you can do with your team.Additional Essential Tools that support other exercises are “Before You Write Your Presentation” and “Sorting & Labeling.”Liberating Structures is the free resource Tom was raving about. The specific exercise he mentioned was TRIZ. Tom has talked about Liberating Structures in the episodes “How to Re-engage a Team” and “Leading Offsites.”If you're approaching year-end performance reviews, there are tools to support you – no matter which side of the review you're on! – in Performance Reviews. Tom referenced two shows that can help you learn Sorting & Labeling.Coaching For Leaders with Dave Stachowiak: The Way to Make Sense to Others.The Everyday Innovator with Chad McCallister: How Product Managers Look & Sound like Leaders.This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Executive PresenceLeadershipPerception – How You're PerceivedIn addition to the various episodes listed above, five that relate specifically to executive thinking are:180  Becoming Expert193  Branding Yourself202  The Executive Executive178  Executive Presence – Three Pillars11  Sounding ExecutiveAs we hurtle in our year-end traditions, stay mindful!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A leader causing upset among her people is given a coach. In conversation, they examine what might be triggering people to be upset with her. The exploration leads to a simple, yet difficult, idea.Transcripts of every episode are available for download in our library. Tom mentioned two episodes with mindfulness tools. They are: The Mindful ExecutiveThe Focused Executive.This episode is filed in three categories in the library:Managing YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentSelf-TalkIn addition to the mindfulness episodes, five other related episodes are:204 Blind Spots119 Creating Devoted Followers171 Taming the Wild Child190 Thinking Errors96 The Many Parts of YouListen to Tom's conversation with Kim O'Hara on “You Should Write a Book About That.”  Listen to Tom's conversation with Marcel van de Hoef on “The Happy Investor.”  Gratitude to those who POST REVIEWS. You are life-sustaining! Thank you!Got a question you think a coach could help with? We're happy to talk! Get in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A team leader is tired of kerfuffles. In conversation with her coach, she learns to use a simple chart that generates almost miraculous results.The chart is available to you here. Please, help yourself.Other tools for leading your team that Tom mentioned in this episode include The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. You can download a sample of the team development tool based on the book that Tom mentioned. The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team assessment is available to you here.If you're looking to pick Tom's brain a little more, all his interviews are available to you in Conversations.His conversation on Keys to the Shop is available here. His conversation on Next Gen Leadership is available here. This month's episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under LeadershipLeading TeamsManagement Skills Related episodes you might listen to are: 91   Facilitating Open Dialogue149 How Teams Fight181 Inviting Dialogue175 Leading Offsites148 Taming Meetings195 The Intentional Leader As ever, we cannot give enough thanks to those of you who post reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words.Got a question about your career and how coaching might help? Get in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

What's helpful to say when you're in an argument? How can you prepare to have an argument? This month's coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” which began last month. This episode has scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. We've created another PDF to support your leadership development. It's a feedback model detailing actions and intentions for you. If you're serious about your leadership, you have to be serious about mastering the art of feedback. Grab this Essential Tool and dig in. It's waiting for you in our Tools bin. This month's episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under Communication SkillsRelationship BuildingFor WomenRelated episodes you might listen to are: #61  A Difficult Conversation #73  Disagree Agreeably #72  Getting Agreement #27  Repairing Damaged Relationships #88  Resolving Conflict  Thanks this month, and every month, to those of you who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words.If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month's coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. If you're looking to develop your executive presence, our latest PDF is for you. It talks about the four factors every executive needs to be effective. It's free. You can find it in our Tools bin.  Help yourself. This month's episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under Relationship BuildingRelated episodes you might listen to are: 61  A Difficult Conversation 73  Disagree Agreeably 72  Getting Agreement 27  Repairing Damaged Relationships 88  Resolving Conflict  Tom references the book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Stone, Patton and Heen, from the Harvard Negotiation Project.As always, thanks to the folks who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words.If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.  

A leader, often reticent to speak up on her own behalf, learns tools to help her ask for what she wants without worrying she'll incite a battle.This month we've created another free PDF for you in our Tools bin. This one is to help you use video playback to achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.This month's episode is tagged in the Podcast Library in these three categories:AssertivenessCommunication SkillsManaging YourselfRelated episodes you might listen to are: 188 Boundaries164 Conflict165 The Conflict Conversation86 Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries88 Resolving ConflictWe send gratitude to the people posting reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words.If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Kindness is killing a leader's ability to set and hold effective boundaries. She works with her coach to find her voice and along the way discovers an empowering image about boundaries.We've put lots of free PDFs in our Tools bin to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:AssertivenessManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive related episodes you might listen to are: 216  7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks204  Blind Spots188  Boundaries210  How to Grow Your Self-Management190  Thinking ErrorsMuch gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support you're your kind words.Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A worried leader seeks help finding balance between going with the flow and giving himself a larger voice.Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:AssertivenessManaging YourselfRelationship BuildingFive related episodes you might listen to are: 21Eliminating Distractions59  Focus in the Face of Distractions 30Self-Knowledge as Leadership184    The Focused Executive142    The Mindful ExecutiveTom also talked about two books in this episode:“Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”by Mihaly Csikszentmlhalyi“The Trust Advisor”by David Maister, et al Thanks to everyone who posts reviews, and thanks so much for your kind words! Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A missed promotion prompts a leader to complain to her CEO. The CEO responds by getting her a coach, which results in explorations of authenticity, self-awareness and self-management.Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Managing YourselfPerception - How You Perceive YourselfPerception - How You're PerceivedSeven related episodes you might listen to are: #71 – Act “As If”#204 – Blind Spots#110 – Creating New Behaviors#103 – Self-Awareness & Self-Management#85 – Stop Giving Away Your Secrets#190 – Thinking Errors#51 – When Learning Makes Things WorseThanks to everyone who posts reviews. And thank you so much for your kind words! Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A leader, ashamed of hurtful words she spoke to a colleague, explores what happened with her coach. She learns seven techniques for keeping herself from future emotional hijacks.      Download a free PDF about the seven steps to help you stop emotional hijacks here.This episode is tagged in five categories in the Podcast Library:    Managing YourselfPerception - How You Perceive YourselfPerception - How You're PerceivedPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentSelf-TalkSeven related episodes you might listen to are: #109 Building Emotional Intelligence#147 Conquering Fear#74  Dealing with Emotional Responses#142 The Mindful Executive#22  Negative Self-Talk#103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management# 171 Taming the Wild ChildPost a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark!As we hurtle into 2022, all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a wonderful year of health, growth, and curiosity.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story' and ‘be more responsive in the moment.' This episode is the coaching conversation about the second goal: be responsive in the moment.This episode is tagged in four categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation Skills Self-TalkSix related episodes you might listen to are: #214 How to Turn Data Into Stories#160Prepping Like a TED Talker#157Talking Like a TED Talker#161Performing Like a TED Talker#77The Power of Rehearsal#65Sorting & LabelingJoin us this month for two free mini-courses facilitated by Susan Smalley:Skills of a Great ManagerLeadership Circle for WomenListen to Tom's interview on The Remarkable Coach podcast where he and host Michael Pacheco talked about Tom's 30 years of coaching.Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark!All of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a safe, healthy year of growth and curiosity.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story' and ‘be more responsive in the moment.' This episode is the coaching conversation about telling a better story. There are four tools in the episode:1. Grab our list of questions   [please link to the PDF]2. Build a puzzle for your listeners3. Create a hero in jeopardy4. Work with a partner – cautiously!This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation Skills Five related episodes you might listen to are: 3   Stories – The Ultimate Persuaders56 What Compelling Speakers Share77 The Power of Rehearsal84 Making Stories Soar120 Captivate Your Audience 160 Prepping Like a TED TalkerIn January, free mini-courses resume. Check out these two learning opportunities:Skills of a Great ManagerLeadership Circle for WomenAs we approach the threshold of a new year, I wish you curiosity and growth.Thanks for all the support! See you in the new year! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Worried that working remotely has disconnected her team, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a powerful tool.Being able to lead your team in growth exercises is a critical leadership skill. This episode is full of tips and guidance for strengthening that muscle.Tom strongly endorses the Liberating Structures website. Lots of amazing free resources there.He also recommends a conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders about “How to Lead an Offsite.”This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsManagement SkillsFive related episodes you might listen to are: 143 – Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta149 – How Teams Fight175 – Leading Offsites181 - Inviting Dialogue194 - Connecting Over VideoIn January, free mini-courses will resume. Check out these two learning opportunities:Skills of a Great ManagerLeadership Circle for WomenGratitude went to Sarah Brown for having Tom as a guest on an episode of The KTS Success Factor podcast. Hear all the tips here. Gratitude also, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thank you so much! Be in touch here.From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. Stay healthy and safe.  Thanks for listening.See you next month!

A no-nonsense leader is asked to add coaching to her list of duties. She turns to the coach who'd coached her for a quick immersion course. Coaching your people requires a shift in thinking and a specific set of behaviors. These ideas are captured in a PDF about the GROW model. It's available to you for free here.This month we are offering three free mini-courses. Come join us!Demystifying Workplace ConflictUnderstanding Yourself and Others (DiSC)Get 15% off your registration with either of these courses by using the coupon code PODCAST at checkout. Offer applies to your first registration.The Look & Sound of LeadershipGet 50% off our flagship course with the coupon code LEADERSHIP at checkout!During the episode, Tom and Laurel mentioned Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High. A great skill-building resource.This episode lives in three categories in the Podcast Library:Management SkillsPerception – How you Perceive OthersRelationship Building.Five related episodes you might listen to are: 132 – Coaching Your People 91 – Facilitating Open Dialogue   155 – The Human Element83 – Leadership and Listening  26 – Questions as LeadershipYou can explore more ideas about coaching your people on Dave Stachowiak's Coaching For Leaders podcast. Episode 190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills.Tom raved about Dave's conversation with Connson Locke. That's on Coaching for Leadership, Episode 546: How to Speak Up. Catch Tom answering coaching questions on the Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches podcast. How To Build Executive PresenceHow to Become a Strategic ThinkerRebuilding Engagement prior to Restructuring, Can an Executive Coach Help?Gratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thanks!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. Thanks for listening.See you next month!Sohee Tom

Frustrated at not showing up the way she wants to, a leader, in conversation with her coach, explores ways to integrate her values into her behavior.To show up as more of whatever you want to be, ask yourself: What would be different if I were a little braver right now?What would a brave person do right now?What would I think, or what would I feel, if I were my bravest self right now?How is my self-talk helping how I show up?How is my self-talk holding me back in how I show up?(Substitute your own spine word for “brave.”)Three books to build muscle around how you show up. Leadership & Self-Deception. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.The Four Agreements.The PDF “Six Books for Growth” is available here. Or email Tom and he'll send it to you.This episode connects to two previous episodes featuring Chin-Sun: How to Build Your Self-Awareness and How to Grow Your Self-Management.On September 7, a new podcast featuring Tom goes live: “Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches.” Available online, on your podcast app and YouTube.Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.Courses currently open for registration are:Dare to Lead – full courseCareer Wellness – free mini-course Improv for Leadership – free mini-courseGet 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCASTThis episode is in the library under four filters:For WomenManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive specific episodes you might listen to are: 71. Act As If162. Acting on the Corporate Stage174. Animating Your Persona154.  Self-Limiting Beliefs176.  The Executive ImpostorGratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thanks!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. Thanks for listening.See you next month!

In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder.The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom here or you can download the PDF here.Other resources mentioned in this episode:Last month's episode connects (like Pop Beads!) to this episode: How to Build Self-AwarenessE.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises.Nathaniel Branden's work on self-esteem – profound thoughts and powerful prompts.Dan Harris's podcast 10% HappierMeet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses.Courses currently open for registration are:Dare to Lead – free mini-course and full courseCareer Wellness – free mini-course Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCASTThis episode is in the library under four filters:AssertivenessDeveloping New BehaviorsManaging YourselfSelf-TalkFive specific episodes you might listen to are: 162. Acting on the Corporate Stage109. Building Emotional Intelligence110. Creating New Behaviors176. The Executive Impostor25. How Behaviors ChangePlus a bonus episode:103. Self-Awareness & Self-ManagementMuch gratitude to those of you who reach out to us and those who post reviews. Thank you!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe.  Thanks for listening.See you next month!

Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings. The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we'd love to send you. Send us an email and we'll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid. Other resources mentioned in this episode: E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises. Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback. Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure! Five episodes to listen to: #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management #109 Building Emotional Intelligence #25 How Behaviors Change #142 The Mindful Executive #190 Thinking Errors Gratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews. From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well. And thanks for listening. See you next month!

A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader. Core concepts in this episode: When pressured, many leaders revert to giving orders. People need time to feel safe speaking up to a new leader. A democratic leader doesn’t have to give everyone their way, just give everyone their say. When listening to ideas, just listen. Don’t fix or tweak or improve. The Essential Communications website has many free resources for you. The entire archive of episodes going back more than a decade is free and available to you. Categories in the archive related to this episode are: Leading Teams Leadership Perception – How You’re Perceived Related episodes are:  How Teams Fight Inviting Dialogue Psychological Safety Taming Meetings The Conflict Conversation If you’d like to be a tester for the new Essential Communications website, shoot Tom an email. In this episode, Tom mentioned: A progressive elementary school in Van Nuys, CA. The school is Children’s Community School. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois Frankel Dare to Lead by Brené Brown  Tom’s conversation with Ben Ritter on “The Live for Yourself Revolution.” COACHES! Join Tom at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Non-members pay $10 to attend. This month’s topic: Team & Group Coaching.  

A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations. Core Concepts in this episode: To convey a tough message and maintain a positive relationship: 1. Start with a full-stop. Act, don’t RE-act. Identify why this conversation is important. 2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are. 3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically. 4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person. Related Archive Categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Skills Related Tips & Episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks The Conflict Conversation A Difficult Conversation Short Sounds Confident Smoothing Harsh Edges Books to boost your skills in tough conversation: Difficult Conversations Crucial Conversations   The library of all the past episodes is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. Much gratitude! See you next month!

This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories. Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’” Related episodes are: Unblocking Feedback (from last month) Don’t Take Anything Personally Getting Good Feedback Handling Feedback Effectively Perception is Reality In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Feedback Leadership Managing Yourself Tom has three leadership interviews that have gone live this month: Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518 A deep 40-min dive into “Sorting & Labeling" Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37 A wide-ranging 60-min exploration of leadership Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21 A fast-paced 25-min examination of your readiness for coaching The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!