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Negotiate Anything: Negotiation | Persuasion | Influence | Sales | Leadership | Conflict Management
Blame is easy. But real power? That comes when you take responsibility for your part — and invite others to do the same. In this masterclass with Sheila Heen, we dismantle the blame game and show you the negotiation move that changes everything. Connect with Sheila Heen: Follow Sheila on LinkedIn Buy the Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most triadconsultinggroup.com Help Yourself Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn negotiateanything.com Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
Blame is easy. But real power? That comes when you take responsibility for your part — and invite others to do the same. In this masterclass with Sheila Heen, we dismantle the blame game and show you the negotiation move that changes everything. Connect with Sheila Heen: Follow Sheila on LinkedIn Buy the Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most triadconsultinggroup.com Help Yourself Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn negotiateanything.com Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
How to have the conversations that are most difficult — and most important.Before you can have hard conversations with others, you need to have an honest conversation with yourself. That's the counterintuitive advice from Sheila Heen, who says our own internal narratives often derail our attempts at negotiation and conflict resolution."The first negotiation is actually a negotiation I have with myself about my own story," explains Heen, a Harvard Law School lecturer and co-author of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. When entering challenging interactions, she recommends a powerful shift where we consider that our perspective is only one side of the story. "If I can shift my purpose from convincing you of something to just understanding how you see it and why we might see it differently, that actually is more likely to generate a good conversation with less defensiveness for both of us."In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Heen joins Matt Abrahams to explore effective communication in high-stakes situations. From giving and receiving feedback with her “ACE” framework (Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation) to recognizing the "degrees of difficulty" in disagreements, she offers practical strategies for having productive conversations even when emotions run high.Episode Reference Links:Sheila Heen Sheila's Books: Difficult Conversations / Thanks for the Feedback Ep.144 Communicating Through Conflict: How to Get Along with AnyoneEp.136 The Art of Disagreeing Without Conflict: Navigating the Nuance Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (01:36) - Managing Anxiety in Tough Conversations (04:15) - Why Emotions Matter (07:23) - Shifting the Story We Tell Ourselves (08:41) - Starting with the Real Issue (10:20) - Getting Unstuck in Conflict (13:18) - ACE: The Three Types of Feedback (16:20) - Making Feedback Actionable (18:40) - Finding Common Ground (20:17) - The Final Three Questions (27:32) - Conclusion *****This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription.Support Think Fast Talk Smart by joining TFTS Premium.
Melody Wilding breaks down the crucial conversations to have with your boss to improve your work life. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) How to differentiate yourself with one conversation 2) How to build your pushback power 3) The easiest way to improve your visibility Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep1038 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT MELODY — Melody Wilding is a professor of human behavior at Hunter College and author of Managing Up. She was recently named one of Insider's “most innovative career coaches.” Her background as a therapist and emotions researcher informs her unique approach, weaving evidence-based neuroscience and psychology with professional development. Her previous book is Trust Yourself. • Book: Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge • Website: ManagingUp.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen • Book: Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen — THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • Earth Breeze. Get 40% off your subscription at earthbreeze.com/AWESOME• BambooHR. See all that BambooHR can do at bamboohr.com/freedemoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Negotiate Anything: Negotiation | Persuasion | Influence | Sales | Leadership | Conflict Management
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company In this enlightening episode of "Negotiate Anything," host Kwame Christian welcomes Harvard Law School professor Sheila Heen. They delve into her latest edition of the bestseller "Difficult Conversations" and discuss the evolution of negotiation over the past few decades. Sheila shares remarkable insights on shifting from blame to contribution in difficult discussions and offers a deep dive into understanding power dynamics. They make complex concepts accessible and provide practical strategies for more effective communication. Covered in this Episode: The transformation of negotiation techniques since the 1990s to today Strategies for shifting from blame to contribution in difficult conversations Understanding and leveraging power dynamics in negotiations Connect with Sheila Heen: Follow Sheila on LinkedIn Buy the Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most triadconsultinggroup.com Help Yourself Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn The Ultimate Negotiation Guide Click here to buy your copy of How To Have Difficult Conversations About Race! Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company In this enlightening episode of "Negotiate Anything," host Kwame Christian welcomes Harvard Law School professor Sheila Heen. They delve into her latest edition of the bestseller "Difficult Conversations" and discuss the evolution of negotiation over the past few decades. Sheila shares remarkable insights on shifting from blame to contribution in difficult discussions and offers a deep dive into understanding power dynamics. They make complex concepts accessible and provide practical strategies for more effective communication. Covered in this Episode: The transformation of negotiation techniques since the 1990s to today Strategies for shifting from blame to contribution in difficult conversations Understanding and leveraging power dynamics in negotiations Connect with Sheila Heen: Follow Sheila on LinkedIn Buy the Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most triadconsultinggroup.com Help Yourself Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn The Ultimate Negotiation Guide Click here to buy your copy of How To Have Difficult Conversations About Race! Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
By highlighting cost savings, clients can see how efficient water treatment impacts their bottom line. Sustainability isn't just a trendy term—it's about implementing practical practices that protect our planet for current and future generations. By adopting sustainable strategies, we can conserve resources, cut costs, and create lasting benefits for both the environment and our client's businesses. In our latest episode of the Scaling UP! H2O Podcast, we had the privilege of speaking with James Courtney, CWT, LEED AP of CSC Technologies an advocate for water sustainability, who shared actionable insights on how water professionals can effectively embrace sustainability while adding value to their clients. Meet James Courtney: A Champion for Sustainability In our enlightening conversation, James shared his journey in the water industry and emphasized the vital role that water professionals play in promoting sustainability. He stated, "We help our customers by saving them money on water, electricity, and fuel." This highlights how our work not only benefits the environment but also leads to significant financial savings for our clients. Sustainability: More Than Just a Buzzword Sustainability means optimizing our resources. As James noted, "We operate in this space where we are directly responsible for the sustainability of our customers.” Water treaters have a unique opportunity to minimize their clients' carbon footprints while improving efficiency. Whether it's running boilers without scale, optimizing cooling towers, or maximizing cycles of conductivity, every action contributes to a greener future. James also cautioned against greenwashing, reminding us that not all practices labeled as "green" deliver real benefits. We must be vigilant and ensure that our sustainability efforts Educating and Empowering Clients Understanding water and energy usage is essential for effective water management. James encourages water professionals to educate their clients about their consumption patterns. “Clients often don't realize that overusing chemicals or wasting water is a problem,” he explained. By illustrating the cost savings—like reducing their electricity bills or fuel costs—clients can connect the dots between efficient water treatment and their bottom line. Harnessing Data One of James's most compelling stories was about using smart meters to identify inefficiencies. He shared, “Meters give you information; information gives you the opportunity to find solutions to problems you didn't even know you had.” In one instance, a client's building was using half a million gallons of water due to a blocked condensate receiver. The installation of a meter enabled the team to identify the issue and prevent unnecessary water loss, ultimately leading to significant cost savings for the client. James's team also tackled a fascinating case with two identical LEED Platinum buildings. Even though they were built exactly the same, one consumed significantly more power. By analyzing minute-by-minute energy data, they pinpointed the problem, leading to solutions that not only enhanced efficiency but also inspired other buildings in the community to adopt similar practices. The Impact of Visibility James highlighted an intriguing study involving a housing development where identical homes were built. In half of these homes, energy meters were placed indoors, allowing residents to see their energy usage, while the other half had meters located outdoors. The results were striking: “The houses with visible indoor meters used less energy simply because people could see it,” James explained. Residents began to turn energy monitoring into a game, challenging themselves to reduce their consumption. This simple shift towards visibility in daily energy use not only heightened awareness among residents but also nurtured a culture of energy-saving habits. As James aptly put it, “What gets measured gets managed.” Engaging clients in enjoyable and measurable ways can significantly drive sustainability efforts. Final Thoughts James's insights remind us of the significant role water professionals play in fostering a sustainable future. By leveraging data and educating our clients, we can create meaningful change that benefits both our communities and the environment. Together, let's continue to explore the importance of sustainability practices that protect our generation and the ones to come. Thank you for being part of the Scaling UP! H2O community. Together, let's continue to educate ourselves and each other on the importance of sustainability practices that benefit both our generation and those to come. Stay curious, stay informed, and keep scaling up your knowledge! Timestamps 01:28 - Trace Blackmore shares what he is thankful for, and extends gratitude to the listeners and to AWT for the 2024 Innovation Award, and shares his family's Thanksgiving traditions 15:18 - Interview with James Courtney, CWT 58:00 - Upcoming Events for Water Treatment Professionals 01:01:05 - Drop by Drop with James McDonald Connect with James Courtney Phone: +1 443 878 2407 Email: james@csctech2o.com Website: https://www.csctech2o.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-courtney-cwt-leed-ap-379a6877/ Read or Download James Courtney's Press Release HERE Guest Resources Mentioned Check if your seafood is sustainable here Check your water footprint here Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone I Said This You Heard That by Kathleen Edelman LEED AP O+M Class More than half of energy use in homes is for heating and air conditioning article The Last Optimist by Mark Mills (Podcast) The United States uses a mix of energy sources article Scaling UP! H2O Resources Mentioned Alton Brown's turkey recipe, Romancing The Bird Donate To Our 6K World Vision Team Learn how to make your own 6K World Vision Team Industrial Water Week Resources The Rising Tide Mastermind Scaling UP! H2O Academy video courses Submit a Show Idea AWT (Association of Water Technologies) 386 Industrial Water Week 2024: Boiler Tuesday 004 It's Not Easy Being Green! 325 Rising Together: Conquering Challenges through Collective Support Drop By Drop with James In today's episode, we're thinking about control ranges. There are a few trains of thought on control ranges. Which tests and readings really need a control range applied to them? How wide or narrow should the control range be? It's something one should consider carefully. I have seen control ranges applied to every test parameter for a makeup, such as city water, that the user had absolutely no control over. Are these control ranges really necessary? Sometimes, they are, especially if the makeup source is susceptible to changes in water quality, such as total hardness, which can impact downstream softener performance. I've also seen control ranges so large a bus could slide through them sideways. What good is such a wide control range doing for the water system? Nothing was actually being controlled. I've seen control ranges that were so unreasonably narrow that the parameters were almost ALWAYS out of range as well. What good does that serve? Is a better control system needed to meet these narrow ranges or is a wider control range more fitting instead? A lot of you out there use field service report programs that turn red, green, and sometimes yellow when a parameter is outside the control range. Not having good and proper control ranges can make that field service report's color coding nearly useless because it is always too red or even too green and not actually reflecting the true stressed or controlled state of the system. Control ranges that are too tight may yield field service reports that are red all the time, which will lead to either the end user ignoring the colors or being annoyed by the report always looking red. Control ranges that are too broad may not show the true state of stress the system is under and lead to more problems down the road. Lastly, I've even seen reps be pressured by their customers to avoid red color coding as much as possible, leading to either uselessly wide control ranges or no control ranges at all. This can be a touchy subject, but your control ranges must be meaningful and useful. It may take some finesse to get everyone on the same side of the table on this but seeing a little red when appropriate TODAY beats dealing with the impact of a failed water system and wasted energy and water TOMORROW. Events for Water Professionals Check out our Scaling UP! H2O Events Calendar where we've listed every event Water Treaters should be aware of by clicking HERE.
Astro themes of October! (00:01:33) October 1st - 2nd: Correction. The Sun Mercury cazimi and the Libra eclipse - Something is wrong. (00:02:42) October 3rd - 7th: Analysis. Mercury square Mars creating challenge in decision making. (00:04:07) October 8th - 13th: Intuition Mercury in Libra trine Jupiter in Gemini - Manifesting time! (00:07:11) October 14th - 19th: The beginning of transformation Venus opposite Uranus - What or who is draining your wealth and energetic resources? (00:12:34) October 20th - 24th: Refinement Mercury trine Saturn rx - Get clear headed on things. (00:15:30) October 25th - 31st: Picking your battles Mars sextile Uranus - A boost of freedom Books!!! (00:18:19) Aries Book Picks: Purpose, destiny and evolution of networks. The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion by Elle Luna. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell. (00:19:05) Taurus Book Picks: Being unapologetically the self and evolution of your professional goals. Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown The Lean Startup: How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses by Eric Ries (00:19:50) Gemini Book Picks: Making your own luck and intense spiritual growth The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles by Richard Wiseman The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer (00:20:20) Cancer Book Picks: Innovative visions and or Financial transformation Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All by Tom Kelley and David Kelley You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (00:21:07) Leo Book Picks: Rebirth in alliances and the evolution of connections with others. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown The Power of Connection: How Relationships Help Us Heal by Dr. David F. Drake (00:21:51) Virgo Book Picks: Deep focus on wellness and health regeneration. How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease by Dr. Michael Greger Lifeforce: How New Breakthroughs in Precision Medicine Can Transform the Quality of Your Life & Those You Love by Tony Robbins (00:22:53) Libra Book Picks: Taking a risk in making changes Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown The Art of Risk: The New Science of Courage, Caution, and Chance by Kayt Sukel (00:23:44) Scorpio Book Picks: Power struggles in work and/or family and rebirth of emotional foundations Family Ties That Bind: A Self-help Guide to Change Through Family of Origin Therapy by Dr. Ronald W. Richardson It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are by Mark Wolynn (00:24:20) Sagittarius Book Picks: Time is money and the evolution of managing your mindset Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness by Morgan Housel (00:25:05) Capricorn Book Picks: Control of wealth and developing motivated negotiations in partnerships The Automatic Millionaire: A Powerful One-Step Plan to Live and Finish Rich by David Bachwhere Bach Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (00:25:58) Aquarius Book Picks: Rebirth of identity and unconventional self-reinvention The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear (00:26:41) Pisces Book Picks: Letting go of the past and empowerment through surrender The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life* by Mark Manson
We're excited to bring back this powerful episode featuring Dr. Patrice Johnson, President and CEO of Project Scientist, a nonprofit dedicated to transforming the future for underserved girls in STEAM fields. Dr. Johnson's story exemplifies how passion and purpose can break barriers and empower the next generation of female innovators.In this episode, Dr. Johnson shares her leadership journey and the unique blend of empathy and effectiveness that drives her work. She reveals how she's not only shaping the future of young leaders in STEAM but also finding balance and practicing self-care along the way.Join us for this insightful conversation as Patrice discusses how she's leading change and creating a blueprint for sustainable leadership in the pursuit of a more equitable world.Resources:Learn more at projectscientist.orgConnect with Patrice on LinkedInRead "Emotional Agility"Read "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most"Enneagram Resources: Any of these would be a good starting point for self-exploration!Self At Work Guide: Discovering Your Enneagram TypeBook Recommendations: The Essential Enneagram or Discovering Your Personality Type Connect with me:InstagramLinkedInYouTubeselfatwork.comProduced by NOVA Media
Read the full transcript here. How easy is it to shift our baseline level of happiness? What sorts of things can most effectively shift that baseline? And are they highly specific to each individual or generalizable to most people? What are the differences between conceptual and phenomenal self-love? Why might it be useful to view shame as a kink? How does self-love or self-acceptance differ from indulging or even just tolerating the worst parts of yourself? What's the best way to think about "woo"? How genuine is the stereotypical guru demeanor of serenity, graciousness, and attentiveness? Is it possible for people with aphantasia to learn visualization? What's so interesting about perfume? What can people do to become better writers?Sasha Chapin is a writer currently living in California. Most of his recent writing is on his Substack. His most popular posts there are "What the humans like is responsiveness" and "50 Things I Know". He also wrote a book called All the Wrong Moves: A Memoir About Chess, Love, and Ruining Everything. Learn more about him at his website, sashachapin.com, or follow him on Twitter / X at @sashachapin.Further reading:Cate Hall's Clearer Thinking episodeLoch Kelly's Clearer Thinking episodeMind's Eye Development eCourse — the course that helped Sasha overcome aphantasiaLoving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, by Byron KatieExpanding Awareness, by Michael AshcroftDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen StaffSpencer Greenberg — Host / DirectorJosh Castle — ProducerRyan Kessler — Audio EngineerUri Bram — FactotumWeAmplify — TranscriptionistsMusicBroke for FreeJosh WoodwardLee RosevereQuiet Music for Tiny Robotswowamusiczapsplat.comAffiliatesClearer ThinkingGuidedTrackMind EasePositlyUpLift[Read more]
One of the biggest painpoints is relationships is CONFLICT. We fear conflict more than heights, running out of gas, or public speaking. And it makes sense why because relationships are ESSENTIAL. When they are at threat, then our wellbeing is also at threat. In this episode I outline three of the most helpful ways to navigate disagreement. I've learned these via some of the best resources out there, particularly the book "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most."Send this to your manager, your coworker, your romantic partner, and your sibling. An easy way to send me a message? Click the link here.Have you enjoyed the podcast? If so, follow it, rate it, and share it with three people: Follow on Apple Podcasts Follow on Spotify Follow on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube If you want to share feedback, have a great idea, or have a question then email me: talktopeoplepodcast@gmail.comProduced by Capture Connection Studios: captureconnectionstudios.com
Blaine Donais joins me to talk about a different definition of “conflict”. Blaine suggests that conflict is a perceived injurious event. We break down the three parts of that phrase and what they mean in practice, particularly in the workplace. Blaine mentions some excellent resources that inform his work:“The Emergence and Transformation of Disputes: Naming, Blaming, Claiming”, article by Bill Felstiner, Rick Abel, and Austin Sarat"Social Conflict: Escalation, Stalemate, and Settlement", book by Dean Pruitt, Jeffrey Rubin,and Sung Hee Kim"Getting Disputes Resolved: Designing Systems to Cut the Costs of Conflict", book by William L. Ury, Jeanne M. Brett, and Stephen B. Goldberg"Designing Conflict Management Systems: A Guide to Creating Productive and Healthy Organizations", book by Cathy A. Costantino and Christina Sickles Merchant"Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most", book by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila HeenTo contact Blaine and learn more about his work, visit: Workplace Fairness International, https://workplacefairness.ca/ .Blaine's June 6, 2024, online roundtable breakfast presentation for the Greater New York Chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution is “The EvolvingWorld Of Workplace Conflict Management”. Register for free here:https://acrgny.org/event-5727648. Later, you can access his presentation (and many others) in the ACR-GNY roundtable archives, here: https://acrgny.org/RTB-Videos. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.
Negotiate Anything: Negotiation | Persuasion | Influence | Sales | Leadership | Conflict Management
Are you ready to elevate your life and career through the power of negotiation? Join Negotiate Anything Premium on June 4th! More than just bonus content and ad-free listening, Negotiate Anything Premium is a comprehensive resource for mastering negotiation through exclusive advice and community support designed to enhance your personal and professional growth. You deserve to negotiate more of the best things in life. Join the Prelaunch Waitlist at www.negotiateanything.com! Sign up now to stay informed and ensure priority access when subscriptions open. Visit www.negotiateanything.com and be prepared to elevate every conversation! Connect with Sheila Heen: Follow Sheila on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheila-heen-b8a59a6/ Buy the Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most triadconsultinggroup.com Help Yourself
Are you ready to elevate your life and career through the power of negotiation? Join Negotiate Anything Premium on June 4th! More than just bonus content and ad-free listening, Negotiate Anything Premium is a comprehensive resource for mastering negotiation through exclusive advice and community support designed to enhance your personal and professional growth. You deserve to negotiate more of the best things in life. Join the Prelaunch Waitlist at www.negotiateanything.com! Sign up now to stay informed and ensure priority access when subscriptions open. Visit www.negotiateanything.com and be prepared to elevate every conversation! Connect with Sheila Heen: Follow Sheila on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sheila-heen-b8a59a6/ Buy the Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most triadconsultinggroup.com Help Yourself
Here is Craig's opening paragraph framework: Although this unscripted podcast began as a discussion of difficult conversations, it soon veered into how to engage in conversations about racism and war. We soon realized that the tools needed to engage fully may differ when conversations occur with friends, within a family, a community, a library board, a university, or a national dialogue. We acknowledge that the tragedy of slavery in this nation and the ongoing debates on how to resolve the legacy of slavery and Jim Crow have caused substantial harm to individuals and communities. We offer this podcast as an initial effort to broaden the conversation. One podcast's ideas for one type of dialogue, however, can never address all issues. We will offer subsequent podcasts to seek multiple opinions and ideas of how to seek the common good and a more perfect union. Resources for Ongoing Dialogue: Rhonda MaGee, The Inner Work of Racial Justice, Healing Ourselves and Transforming our Communities Through Mindfulness, (Tarcherperigree, N.Y., 2019), 29. She writes, “This is a moment of racial discomfort. Such moments are common in a world shaped by racism. I deserve kindness in the moment. And I offer kindness to others impacted by this movement as well.” Andrea Medea, Conflict Unraveled, Fixing Problems at Work and in Families, (Pivot Point Press, Chicago, Il, 2004), (citing Rev. Bevel at p.64). Kerry Patterson et. al., Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High, Second Edition, (McGraw-Hill, 2002), (shared pool at p. 22). Agents of Change: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3325282/ We mistakenly identified one of the universities in the podcast. Agents of Change tracks the responses from San Francisco State and Cornell University. “Stumbling Upon a Signed Pulitzer Prize Winning Photo:” http://alleghenyarchivesmedia.com/blog/2019/1/3/stumbling-upon-a-signed-pulitzer-prize-photo Roger Fischer et al., Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In (3rd Edition) (Penguin Publishing Group, 2011). Douglas Stone et. al., Difficult Conversations, How to Discuss What Matters Most, (Penguin Books, N.Y., 2000)
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Join us on this episode of Conversations Unveiled as we explore the transformative power of communication through a curated list of 10 must-read books. From navigating crucial conversations to understanding the psychology of persuasion, each book offers invaluable insights and practical strategies to enhance your communication skills. Dive into the world of effective communication with us as we uncover the secrets to building meaningful connections and fostering open dialogue in both personal and professional settings. Whether you're a seasoned communicator or just starting on your journey, this episode is sure to inspire and empower you to communicate with confidence and authenticity. Tune in and embark on a journey to master the art of communication! Here are the 10 must-read books on communication.1. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler2. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie3. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg4. Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets by Carmine Gallo5. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen6. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle7. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini8. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain9. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves10. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary ChapmanThese books cover a wide range of topics related to communication, from handling difficult conversations to public speaking, emotional intelligence, and building meaningful relationships.Enjoy :)Support the show
256: Managing Conflict as a Nonprofit Leader (Carol Bowser)SUMMARYAre unresolved conflicts within your nonprofit causing chronic pain in your organization? In episode 256 of Your Path to Nonprofit Leadership, we explore the intricate world of conflict resolution with Carol Bowser, the Founder of Conflict Management Strategies, and an expert in managing workplace dynamics. From navigating power structures to fostering healthy interactions, Carol shares invaluable insights to help nonprofit leaders cultivate environments of open communication and collaboration. She emphasizes the significance of addressing conflicts promptly and offers practical strategies toward creating harmonious and productive workplaces. Learn the art of conflict resolution and discover how to transform challenges into opportunities for growth and cohesion within your nonprofit organization.ABOUT CAROLCarol Bowser, J.D. is a workplace conflict expert. After practicing Employment Law for several years, Carol founded Conflict Management Strategies when she realized a lawsuit can't deliver the level of resolution and satisfaction that is gained when people are actively involved in creating solutions to their workplace conflict. Carol's clients come with a wide range of employers because conflict is universal across all industries and types of organizations. Where there are people, there is conflict. The key is to help people recognize and address conflict before it damages working relationships and creates organizational drag. In her over 20 years of experience, she has discovered some universal themes about workplace conflict and loves to share how people at all levels can strengthen their conflict resolution muscles.EPISODE TOPICS & RESOURCESDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, et al.Learn more about Carol here.Ready for a Mastermind? Learn more here!Have you gotten Patton's book Your Path to Nonprofit Leadership: Seven Keys to Advancing Your Career in the Philanthropic SectorCheck out our new website, PMAnonprofit.com
AppSec specialist Megan Jacquot joins Chris and Robert for a compelling conversation about community, career paths, and productive red team exercises. Megan shares her unique cybersecurity origin story, tracing her interest in the field from childhood influences through her tenure as an educator and her formal return to academia to pivot into a tech-focused career. She delves into her roles in threat intelligence and application security, emphasizing her passion for technical work, penetration testing, and bug bounty programs. Additionally, Megan highlights the importance of mentorship, her involvement with the Women in Cybersecurity (WeCyS) community, and her dedication to fostering the next generation of cybersecurity professionals. The discussion covers assumed breach and red team engagements in cybersecurity, the significance of empathy in bug bounty interactions, tips for Call for Papers (CFP) submissions, and the value of community engagement within organizations like OWASP and DEF CON. Megan concludes with insights on the importance of difficult conversations and giving back to the cybersecurity community.LinksDifficult Conversations (How to Discuss What Matters Most) by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen -- https://www.stoneandheen.com/difficult-conversationsBeing Henry: The Fonz...and Beyond by Henry Winkler -- https://celadonbooks.com/book/being-henry-fonz-and-beyond-henry-winkler/FOLLOW OUR SOCIAL MEDIA: ➜Twitter: @AppSecPodcast➜LinkedIn: The Application Security Podcast➜YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ApplicationSecurityPodcast Thanks for Listening! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What does it take to break barriers and empower the next generation of female innovators? In this episode, we dive into the heart of innovation with Dr. Patrice Johnson, President and CEO of Project Scientist, a nonprofit transforming the future for underserved girls in STEAM fields. Dr. Johnson's journey is a testament to the power of passion and purpose in forging a more equitable world. With a leadership style that blends empathy with efficacy, she shares her secrets to driving change while maintaining balance and self-care.Join us as Patrice reveals how she's shaping the next generation of leaders and disruptors, proving that even the toughest challenges are no match for a leader fueled by a passion for purposeful change. Her story is not just inspiring—it's a blueprint for sustainable leadership in the relentless pursuit of a more equitable world.Resources:Learn more at projectscientist.orgConnect with Patrice on LinkedInRead "Emotional Agility"Read "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most"Enneagram Resources: Any of these would be a good starting point for self-exploration!Self At Work Guide: Discovering Your Enneagram TypeBook Recommendations: The Essential Enneagram or Discovering Your Personality Type Connect with me:InstagramLinkedInYouTubeselfatwork.comProduced by NOVA Media
Nearly every kind of feedback — whether you agree with it or not — can be used to help you grow. Sheila Heen knows this well. As the founder of Triad Consulting Group, professor of practice at Harvard Law School, and the co-author of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well and Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Sheila has spent nearly 30 years helping executive teams across the world work through conflict, repair working relationships, and make sound decisions together. In this episode of The Game Changing Attorney Podcast, Sheila and Michael Mogill discuss: The underlying structure and challenge of every difficult conversation The different types of feedback leaders can give — and what actually works How to raise tough issues and have productive conversations ---- Show Notes: 07:34 – The single most valuable skill you can have 14:57 – Defining difficult conversations 17:58 – How to navigate a tough talk 20:57 – Not everything is either/or 23:22 – Starting difficult conversations with a third story 29:35 – The 3 types of feedback 34:24 – Navigating sensitivity 38:44 – Front seat leader, back seat feedback 42:10 – What being a game changer means to Sheila Heen ---- Links & Resources Triad Consulting Group Harvard Law School Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Occidental College The Harvard Negotiation Project Bruce Patton Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck Getting It Done by Roger Fisher. John Richardson, and Alan Sharp Tesla The Game Changing Attorney by Michael Mogill ---- Listening to this episode but want to watch it? Check it out on Spotify. Do you love this podcast and want to see more game changing content? Subscribe to our YouTube channel. ---- Past guests on The Game Changing Attorney Podcast include David Goggins, John Morgan, Alex Hormozi, Randi McGinn, Kim Scott, Chris Voss, Kevin O'Leary, Laura Wasser, John Maxwell, Mark Lanier, Robert Greene, and many more. ---- If you enjoyed this episode, you may also like: #162 Kim Scott – Radical Candor: How to Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity #166 John Maxwell #217 AMMA – The Key to Clarity in Business
Tue, 02 Jan 2024 20:30:00 GMT http://relay.fm/focused/194 http://relay.fm/focused/194 I'd Like to Take a Mulligan 194 David Sparks and Mike Schmitz David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. clean 3868 David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. This episode of Focused is sponsored by: Vitally: A new era for customer success productivity. Get a free pair of AirPods Pro when you book a qualified meeting. Nom Nom: Healthy, fresh food for dogs formulated by top Board Certified Veterinary Nutritionists. Prepped in our kitchens with free delivery to your door. Get 50% off. Links and Show Notes: Deep Focus: Extended ad-free episodes with bonus deep dive content. Focused #193: The Problem with Mise en Place, with Justin Khanna The Theme System MIke's Obsidian Quotebook video Mike's Obsidian University Starter Vault Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Feel-Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolf Reader, Come Home: The Reading Brain in a Digital World by Maryanne Wolf Traveler's Notebook Drop + bi
Tue, 02 Jan 2024 20:30:00 GMT http://relay.fm/focused/194 http://relay.fm/focused/194 David Sparks and Mike Schmitz David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. clean 3868 David & Mike reflect on everything that happened in 2023 and share their intentions for 2024. This episode of Focused is sponsored by: Vitally: A new era for customer success productivity. Get a free pair of AirPods Pro when you book a qualified meeting. Nom Nom: Healthy, fresh food for dogs formulated by top Board Certified Veterinary Nutritionists. Prepped in our kitchens with free delivery to your door. Get 50% off. Links and Show Notes: Deep Focus: Extended ad-free episodes with bonus deep dive content. Focused #193: The Problem with Mise en Place, with Justin Khanna The Theme System MIke's Obsidian Quotebook video Mike's Obsidian University Starter Vault Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Feel-Good Productivity by Ali Abdaal Proust and the Squid: The Story and Science of the Reading Brain by Maryanne Wolf Reader, Come Home: The Reading Brain in a Digital World by Maryanne Wolf Traveler's Notebook D
Mallory Seisser is the owner of The Gilded Lily salon in Chicago's Logan Square neighborhood. She also teaches other salon owners nationwide how to better run their businesses as a professor at PIP University. In this past year, she's made the transition from behind the chair as a stylist to running her salon and teaching full-time. In this episode, we talk about the bold moves she's made in her career to step up in her leadership and grow her impact – and how those moves haven't always been easy, but they've always been worth it. We also discuss how Mallory is navigating making the shift from being a fixer and helper to empowering her people, as she takes on new roles in her career.Resources:Check out Mallory's salon at gildedlilychicago.comFollow Mallory on Instagram: @professor.malRead Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila HeenDisrupt HR Talk: “Stop Taking Work Personally”Connect with me:InstagramLinkedInYouTubeselfatwork.comProduced by NOVA Media
We interview Sheila Heen on negotiation and difficult conversations. The talk includes practical advice, understanding the role of identity, discussions on the research behind "anchoring," analyzing a scenario, and more. A bit about Sheila Heen:Sheila Heen is the Thaddeus R. Beal Professor of Practice at Harvard Law School and serves as a Deputy Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project.Prof. Heen specializes in particularly difficult negotiations – where emotions run high and relationships are strained. She is also a co-author of two New York Times bestsellers, "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" and "Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well." She has written for the Harvard Business Review, and the New York Times as a guest expert, and as a Modern Love columnist. Prof. Heen is also a Founder of Triad Consulting Group, a corporate education and consulting firm that serves clients on six continents. Her corporate clients have included Pixar, the NBA, and Ford, to name a few. She often works with executive teams, helping them to work through conflict, repair working relationships and make sound decisions together. In the public sector she has also provided training for the New England Organ Bank, the Singapore Supreme Court, the Obama White House and theologians struggling with disagreement over the nature of truth and God.Prof. Heen is a graduate of Occidental College and Harvard Law School. She was also my professor.
Sheila Heen: Difficult Conversations Sheila Heen is the Thaddeus R. Beal Professor of Practice at Harvard Law School, a Deputy Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and a founder of Triad Consulting Group. She often works with executive teams to engage conflict productively, repair working relationships, and implement change in complex organizations. She has published articles in The New York Times and the Harvard Business Review and appeared on Oprah, CNBC's Power Lunch, and NPR. She is coauthor along with Douglas Stone of The New York Times bestseller Thanks for the Feedback and also now, in it's third edition, co-author with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton of the iconic bestseller, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most*. When our intentions are good, it's hard to appreciate how we could have had such negative impact on someone else. It's equally challenging to navigate a tough conversation when someone else's words or actions have wronged us, even if that's not what they intended. In this conversation, Sheila and I discuss how to shift just a bit to help our difficult conversations go better. Key Points Intent does not equal impact. It's a mistake to assume that we know the other party's intentions. It's a mistake to assume that good intentions erase bad impact. Prevent the first mistake by attempting to separate intent from impact. Use these three questions: Actions: What did the other person actually say or do? Impact: What was the impact of this on me? Assumption: Based on this impact, what assumption am I making about what the other person intended? To present the second mistake, listen first for feelings before sharing intent. It's helpful also to reflect on your own intent, which may not always be as pure as initially recognized. Resources Mentioned Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most* by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Get Way Better at Accepting Feedback, with Sheila Heen (episode 143) How to Begin Difficult Conversations About Race, with Kwame Christian (episode 594) How to Deal With Passive-Aggressive People, Amy Gallo (episode 595) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Brought to you by Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega fish oil, Helix Sleep premium mattresses, and ShipStation shipping software. Sheila Heen has spent the last three decades working to understand how people can better navigate conflict, with a particular specialty in difficult conversations. She is a founder of Triad Consulting Group, a professor at Harvard Law School, and a co-author of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (even when it's off base, unfair, poorly delivered, and, frankly, you're not in the mood), with Douglas Stone, and Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton (with a newly updated third edition that was released in August).Sheila and her colleagues at Triad work with leaders and organizations to build their capacity to have the conversations that matter most. Her clients have included Pixar, American Express, the NBA, the Singapore Supreme Court, the Obama White House, and theologians struggling with the nature of truth and God.She is schooled in negotiation daily by her three children. You can find my first conversation with Sheila at tim.blog/SheilaHeen.Please enjoy!This episode is brought to you by Nordic Naturals, the #1-selling fish-oil brand in the US! More than 80% of Americans don't get enough omega-3 fats from their diet. That is a problem because the body can't produce omega-3s, an important nutrient for cell structure and function. Nordic Naturals solves that problem with their doctor-recommended Ultimate Omega fish-oil formula for heart health, brain function, immune support, and more. Ultimate Omega is made exclusively from 100% wild-caught sardines and anchovies. It's incredibly pure and fresh with no fishy aftertaste. All Nordic Naturals' fish-oil products are offered in the triglyceride molecular form—the form naturally found in fish, and the form your body most easily absorbs. Go to Nordic.com and discover why Nordic Naturals is the #1-selling omega-3 brand in the U.S. Use promo code TIM for 20% off your order. *This episode is also brought to you by ShipStation. Do you sell stuff online? Then you know what a pain the shipping process is. ShipStation was created to make your life easier. Whether you're selling on eBay, Amazon, Shopify, or over 100 other popular selling channels, ShipStation lets you access all of your orders from one simple dashboard, and it works with all of the major shipping carriers, locally and globally, including FedEx, UPS, and USPS. Join the 130,000+ companies that have grown their ecommerce businesses with ShipStation. Tim Ferriss Show listeners get to try ShipStation free for 60 days! Just visit ShipStation.com/Tim!*This episode is also brought to you by Helix Sleep! Helix was selected as the best overall mattress of 2022 by GQ magazine, Wired, and Apartment Therapy. With Helix, there's a specific mattress to meet each and every body's unique comfort needs. Just take their quiz—only two minutes to complete—that matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you. They have a 10-year warranty, and you get to try it out for a hundred nights, risk-free. They'll even pick it up from you if you don't love it. And now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders plus two free pillows at HelixSleep.com/Tim.*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim's email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1 What's Difficult ConversationsDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most is a book written by Douglas Stone, along with Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. It was first published in 1999 and is a guide to handling challenging conversations in both personal and professional situations. The book offers practical advice and strategies to navigate conversations about disagreements, criticism, and emotions. It emphasizes the importance of open communication, listening skills, and understanding various perspectives. Difficult Conversations has gained popularity for its insights on resolving conflicts and improving relationships through effective communication.Chapter 2 Why is Difficult Conversations Worth ReadDifficult Conversations by Douglas Stone is worth reading because it offers practical and valuable insights into how to navigate and address challenging conversations effectively. Here are some reasons why the book is worth reading:1. Provides a framework: The book presents a clear framework for understanding and managing difficult conversations. It breaks down the elements of a conversation, outlines common pitfalls, and provides strategies for successful communication. By using this framework, readers can approach difficult conversations with more confidence.2. Offers practical advice: Difficult Conversations offers practical advice and tools that readers can apply in their personal and professional lives. It provides step-by-step guidance on how to prepare for and engage in difficult conversations, including techniques for active listening, reframing perspectives, and finding common ground.3. Explores common challenges: The book dives into the common challenges people face when having difficult conversations, such as managing emotions, dealing with differing opinions, and addressing underlying issues. By exploring these challenges, readers gain a deeper understanding of the dynamics at play and learn how to navigate them effectively.4. Real-life examples: Difficult Conversations includes numerous real-life examples, making the concepts and strategies more relatable and applicable. The book presents various types of difficult conversations, ranging from conflicts in personal relationships to workplace disputes, providing readers with a range of scenarios to learn from.5. Emphasizes empathy and understanding: One of the key themes in the book is the importance of empathy and understanding in difficult conversations. It highlights the significance of acknowledging and validating emotions, while also recognizing differing perspectives. By embracing empathy, readers can foster more constructive and compassionate conversations.6. Improves relationships and outcomes: The strategies outlined in Difficult Conversations can help readers build stronger relationships and achieve better outcomes in challenging situations. The book focuses on moving beyond blame and finding mutual understanding, enabling readers to create more positive and productive conversations.Overall, Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone is worth reading because it equips readers with practical tools, insights, and strategies that can be applied in various contexts. It helps individuals navigate difficult conversations more effectively, leading to improved relationships and outcomes.Chapter 3 Difficult Conversations Summary"Dfficult Conversations" by Douglas Stone, Sheila Heen, and Bruce Patton is a book that explores the challenges individuals face when engaging in difficult conversations, both personally and professionally. The authors provide a framework and strategies to navigate these conversations effectively.The book focuses on the idea that difficult conversations are...
Marc Lesser shows how to navigate difficult emotions and conversations to build thriving relationships. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) Why we shouldn't be afraid of conflict. 2) The one question you need to ask when dealing with difficult people. 3) How to assess any relationship in 4 words. Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep887 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT MARC — Marc Lesser is a speaker, facilitator, workshop leader, and executive coach. He is the author of four books, including Seven Practices of a Mindful Leader: Lessons from Google and a Zen Monastery Kitchen, and CEO of ZBA Associates, an executive development and leadership consulting company. Lesser helped develop the world-renowned Search Inside Yourself (SIY) program within Google and was director of Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, the oldest Zen monastery in the Western world. He lives in Marin County, California, and leads Mill Valley Zen, a weekly meditation group. • Book: Finding Clarity: How Compassionate Accountability Builds Vibrant Relationships, Thriving Workplaces, and Meaningful Lives • Website: MarcLesser.net — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Happy Day, Friend! In this podcast episode I'm talking about perspective-taking and difficult conversations, and how mindfulness practices can create and empower greater perspective shifts. I share the “3 Conversations Framework” from the book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, and give ten (10) ways mindfulness practices help you implement this framework with more fidelity and greater success in all your conversations. I hope you gain tons of value from the episode. If so, please share with your people. I'd love to connect with you on social media
The following is a conversation between Sheila Heen, Harvard Law professor, and co-author of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well, and Denver Frederick, the Host of The Business of Giving. In today's episode of The Business of Giving, we tackle the challenges of difficult conversations and receiving feedback. Whether it's our personal or professional lives, these situations can be uncomfortable and often lead to miscommunication and hurt feelings. But fear not, my next guest is a world-renowned negotiation expert who will help us navigate these challenges with greater confidence and ease. She is Sheila Heen, founder of the Triad Consulting Group, a professor of practice at Harvard Law School where she leads a negotiation program, and co-author of the New York Times bestsellers, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well.
Every discipline has a different name for the voices of fear that come from within us: superego, shadow self, personal narrative, subconscious saboteur, and more. Take steps to get to the root of what's holding you back and end your suffering. Empower Your Voice Masterclass and course by Nancy Bos: https://nancybos.me/empower-your-voice Books quoted in this episode: The Mindfulness of Singing: Creating a Harmonious Mind, Body, and Spirit by Bernardini and Crowder Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Stone, Patton, and Heen How to Be Loving: As Your Heart is Breaking Open and Our World is Waking Up by Danielle LaPorte Empower Your Voice is a podcast and YouTube show that helps people get to the bottom of what is stopping them from using their voice to the fullest, whether on the stage, the boardroom, or in their personal lives. I'm Nancy Bos, a vocologist, speaker, and author. I help people live their best life. I LOVE to speak to groups about the power of personal narratives. Visit my Speakers Page at nancybos.me to learn more about me talking to your company or group. Here's my socials: Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn Thank you!! Nancy
Amy Elizabeth Fox is a senior leadership strategist with two decades of experience consulting to Fortune 500 companies on issues of human capital, organizational health and leadership development. She is the Chief Executive Officer of Mobius Executive Leadership, a premier leadership development firm with offices in Boston and London. Since 2005, Ms. Fox has served as one of the lead designers and lead faculty members in Mobius transformational leadership programs offered globally. She is also the founder of the Next Practice Institute, a professional development arm for coaches and facilitators and has helped build a global firm with over 200 practitioners and long standing relationships with some of the world's most innovative companies. Mobius services include top team intervention, multi-client CEO sessions, executive coaching and business mediation. Its signature offering is a cutting edge contribution to the field of transformation through the design and delivery of bespoke and immersive leadership programs for senior executives. Mobius enjoys a privileged partnership with Egon Zehnder as well as with numerous boutique firms promoting the work of its prestigious Senior Experts including Otto Scharmer, Peter Senge, Bob Kegan, Ron Heifetz, Linda Hill, Tom deLong, Amy Edmondson, David Kantor among others. Mobius operates as a consortium of practice across an expert network of coaches, trainers, and facilitators and brings customized programs to clients in the public and private sector. Prior to her Mobius, Amy was a senior trainer for Vantage Partners anchoring their corporate education delivery of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most in both private and public sectors. Before that, Amy was the Director of Training and Organizational Development for Wellspace Inc., a health care start-up. She served as the Associate Director of the National Religious Partnership for the Environment, an educational initiative headed by Paul Gorman, Vice President Al Gore and Carl Sagan. She was Special Assistant to the Dean of Education, City College and Education Director of an in-patient alcohol rehabilitation hospital. Amy is a psychotherapist who received her B.A. from Wesleyan University and her master's in Counseling Psychology from Lesley College. Amy is certified as an executive coach in the area of Emotional Intelligence by Hay/McBer and Associates, and as a trainer in the System for Analyzing Verbal Interaction by SAVI Communications. . Additionally, I'll be donating to and raising awareness for the charity or organization of my guest's choice with each episode now. This episode, the organization is called The Pocket Project. Any and all donations make a difference! You can connect with Amy on: Website - Mobius Executive Leadership LinkedIn Listen to her Keynote presentation at Next Practice Institute Follow her sister, Erica Ariel Fox, on LinkedIn Follow Erica Ariel Fox on her Website Follow Erica Ariel Fox's contributions on Forbes To connect with me: Interested in working with me as your coach? Book a complimentary 15 minute call here. LinkedIn Instagram Website Subscribe to my weekly newsletter YouTube Please leave a review for this podcast on Apple Podcasts! Resources/People Mentioned: Difficult Conversations - Doug Stone, Bruce Patten and Sheila Heen Winning from Within - Erica Ariel Fox Amy Edmondson, and her work on Psychological Safety Joseph Cambell - Hero's Journey Yotam Schachter Thomas Hubl Lynda Caesara Neem Karoli Baba
Dr. Zach Schaefer is the Founder and CEO of Spark The Discussion. He is also a Speaker, Author, Professor, and Consultant. Spark specializes in diagnosing, designing, and deploying a variety of workplace programs focused on solving internal talent challenges from hire to retire. Dr. Zach shares that the problems you're dealing with in business are only a symptom to a bigger problem, and that's a behavioral problem. When you can facilitate a conversation of healthy conflict and solve the behavioral problem, things run a lot smoother in the company! Key Takeaways: [1:55] Properly structured conflict is a business person's most useful tool. [3:20] World class organizations figure out how to create healthy conflict, but not stay in it. [5:00] Emotional volatility can be a real issue among CEOs. [6:20] Although one of Dr. Zach's clients was seeing a healthy amount of growth within the company, the workplace culture was horrible. People were miserable. [8:10] High-driven CEOs can also have a ‘swing for the fences' kind of personality where they take calculated risks, but also have a hard time letting go of control. [10:15] CEOs who don't want to let go of control need to remind themselves what they're working towards. [11:45] Dr. Zach noticed that when there's a conflict, 3 out of 4 times, it's not a business issue. It's a behavioral issue. [12:55] Trying to understand ‘what happened' or who made the mistake is the easiest part. It's what comes after that isn't; emotions and identity. [14:15] When does it make sense for Dr. Zach to help in and facilitate healthy conflict? [19:35] What's Dr. Zach's work style and process when working with executives? [25:25] Dr. Zach doesn't do virtual consultations. He believes it's important to be in the room together. [31:00] After a dialogue has been opened, how does Dr. Zach help his clients continue to do the necessary ‘people work' without him? [33:15] It's not about what a CEO can't do, it's about what they have to stop doing. [36:15] Dr. Zach shares the concept of ‘Meeting Stew' and ‘Conflict Chili'. [39:40] Dr. Zach recommends you do ‘trust rankings' on your leadership team to get a gauge on what everyone is feeling. Mentioned in This Episode: Dynastylc.com Email Todd: Todd@Dynastylc.com Sparkthediscussion.com Dr. Zach on LinkedIn Call Dr. Zach: 618-558-2428 Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone What Got You Here Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith Triggers: Sparking positive change and making it last Kindle Edition by Marshall Goldsmith
Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month's coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. If you're looking to develop your executive presence, our latest PDF is for you. It talks about the four factors every executive needs to be effective. It's free. You can find it in our Tools bin. Help yourself. This month's episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under Relationship BuildingRelated episodes you might listen to are: 61 A Difficult Conversation 73 Disagree Agreeably 72 Getting Agreement 27 Repairing Damaged Relationships 88 Resolving Conflict Tom references the book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Stone, Patton and Heen, from the Harvard Negotiation Project.As always, thanks to the folks who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words.If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.
"Thanks for your purchase! Can we get your feedback!?" We are asked for our feedback left and right. We're also giving it unknowingly more often than we think. When it comes to receiving it, why can it sometimes be so difficult? Of course, we all WANT feedback to do better, grow, and be the best humans we can be... but at the same time, wouldn't it be nice if someone could just pat us on the back and tell us, "All good!"? Maybe if they just delivered it the bad news to us sandwiched between all the positive stuff (the Oreo cookie technique)? Today's guest, Sheila Heen will share the unique difficulty around receiving feedback; why this conversation can be so difficult whether you're a giver of it or a receiver. We dive into: What are the different types of feedback are: Appreciation, Coaching, Evaluation, and what each form might look like Why giving feedback can be difficult and getting it can be even harder! The three triggers around feedback that can make us shut down How to get better at receiving feedback by leaning into curiosity What to do if you're naturally more sensitive to feedback What to do if you just don't want it in a certain area or from a certain person Why we need to RE-THINK the Oreo cookie feedback-giving technique And MORE! Links Mentioned: Sheila's Book: Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It's Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly, You're Not in the Mood) (with Douglas Stone, Viking/Penguin 2014) Sheila's Website She Built This Website About Sheila Sheila is a Founder of Triad Consulting, a Professor of Practice at Harvard Law School, and serves as a Deputy Director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, where she has been developing negotiation theory and practice since 1995. Sheila's corporate clients have included Pixar, Hugo Boss, the NBA, the Federal Reserve Bank, Ford, Novartis, Converse, American Express, and numerous family businesses. She often works with executive teams, helping them to work through conflict, repair working relationships and make sound decisions together. In the public sector she has also provided training for the New England Organ Bank, the Singapore Supreme Court, the Obama and Biden White Houses and theologians struggling with disagreement over the nature of truth and God. Sheila specializes in particularly difficult negotiations – where emotions run high and relationships are strained. She is also a co-author of two New York Times bestsellers: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (with Douglas Stone and Bruce Patton, 2nd ed Penguin 2010) and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It's Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and Frankly, You're Not in the Mood) (with Douglas Stone, Viking/Penguin 2014). She has written for the Harvard Business Review and for the New York Times as a guest expert and as a Modern Love columnist. Sheila and her co-authors are working on a 3rd edition of Difficult Conversations with updates and revisions, which will be released in 2022. Sheila is a frequent media guest and has appeared on shows as diverse as Oprah, NPR, Fox News, and CNBC's Power Lunch. She can be heard on podcast episodes of Shane Parrish's Knowledge Project, Adam Grant's WorkLife, Hidden Brain, and The Tim Ferriss Show. She has spoken at the Global Leadership Summit, the Nordic Business Forum, at The Smithsonian, Apple, Google, Microsoft and at the U.S. Air Force Academy. She got to fly along on a training mission in an F-16 while working with the Air Force to improve feedback to pilots in training. Sheila is a graduate of Occidental College and Harvard Law School. She is schooled in negotiation daily by her three children.
We often tell stories of the words we say, what about the things we don't say? Difficult conversations are difficult. Listen to some strategies to help you find and use your voice in difficult spaces. Episode Links & Resources https://www.instagram.com/nicolehagman_writes/ “All the things we don't say, all the words we swallow, and it makes nothing but trouble.” Anna Quindlen Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most; Douglas Stone https://www.americanexpress.com/en-us/business/trends-and-insights/articles/top-ten-tips-for-handling-the-difficult-conversation/ https://www.stellarcc.com/the-blog/2018/5/27/simple-strategies-for-telling-the-hard-truth https://youtu.be/1SCOimBo5tg
Boris Zaïtra is the Head of Group Business Development and Mergers and Acquisitions at Roche. Boris has a front-row seat to the changing landscape of healthcare. He and his team focus on structuring deals in service of the long-term strategy to bring in the external innovation: as such he has an insightful view of the trends, value drivers, and direction of our global healthcare system.Stone, Douglas, et al. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Portfolio Penguin, 2011. Note: for subscribers who downloaded this episode as soon as it was released: a short excerpt from the episode was mistakenly released in lieu of the full episode. This episode is the full, updated version. Please email madeline.may@valueaddgroup if you have any questions. Thanks!
There are conversations we know we need to have but often avoid them because we know they are going to be difficult. You know the convo is going to lead to a fight, or someone being hurt or even. How can you have those hard conversions in a way that is productive? In this episode, I talk with difficult conversation experts Sheila Heen and Ivanka Diaz Canzius. Sheila has been teaching Negotiation at Harvard Law School for more than 25 years, and now directs the Negotiation Teaching Program. She is also a Founding partner at Triad Consulting. She is a co-author of the New York Times bestsellers "Difficult Conversations, How to Discuss What Matters Most" and of "Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well." Ivanka is an Army veteran serving for 10 years as a JAG paralegal. She is currently a Juris Doctor Candidate at Harvard Law. Sheila and Invaka talk about what difficult conversions are made up of, how to have them, mistakes to avoid, and how to have the hard conversions when you really don't want to try anymore. Show notes can be found here: https://laceylangford.com/podcast/difficult-money-conversations
Are you ready to challenge yourself to have more? More success, money, freedom, autonomy, support, and joy? If this is you, then you're in the right place, and I invite you to listen closely to this week's episode. I'm joined this week by bestselling author of Ask for More: 10 Questions to Negotiate Anything, Alex Carter. We're having a hard-hitting, in-depth conversation around raising the stakes, playing a bigger game, and asking for what you're really worth. Keep reading Alex is a Clinical Professor of Law and Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School. She has spent the last eleven years helping Fortune 500 companies, The UN, and thousands of other people negotiate better, build relationships and reach their goals, and she's here to share her secrets and valuable observations with us. Tune in this week to discover how to start playing bigger, taking up space, and feel confident doing it. Alex has brought a woman's voice to the field of negotiation, and she's here to share how she built her super-successful organic business, her insights on team-building, how she challenges herself and her business, and the unwitting ways in which we play small without realizing. Today on the Power + Presence + Position Podcast: How Alex became a top-ranked law professor and mediation expert at Columbia. Why Alex decided the time was right to start publishing books. How difficult it was at one stage for Alex to ask for what she needed in her profession. What the process of taking six months out to write her book looked like for Alex and why it took drastic circumstances to make it a reality. Why it's not always about asking for more, sometimes it's about asking for what you're already owed. The importance of giving yourself time to make big decisions from a place of clarity. What asking for more looks like as you're managing increased success and responsibility. How Alex has leveraged her network using the lessons she teaches in her book. Alex's advice for any women listening who feel called to start swinging bigger. Resources Mentioned: To receive weekly written gold in your inbox, make sure you sign up for my email newsletter. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Learn how to nail your niche, clarify your message, and scale your business in the Power + Presence + Position Business Accelerator! Learn how to build a seven-figure foundation in The Incubator. Alex Carter: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter | Book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen EP401: Negotiation Secrets – How to Ask for More with Alexandra Carter Kris Plachy Brandi Bernoskie Alchemy + Aim Brené Brown Byron Katie Luvvie Ajayi Love the show? Let us know! Are you a fan of the Power + Presence + Position? If the tips and interviews we share in each episode have helped you gain the confidence and inspiration to become a better, more powerful leader, head on over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show and leave your honest review to let us know! What are you waiting for? Head on over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe, and leave a review to enter your name into this month's drawing!
Leadership communication is as much mindset as it is skillset. This week, I'm recommending six books you can read to improve both. Additional Leadership Resources Leadership and Self-Deception by The Arbinger Institute Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know by Adam Grant Dare to Lead by Brené Brown Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Joseph Grenny Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Take our free DISC Assessment. Download our free report, The First 7 Things to Do When You Get Promoted. Follow us on Facebook. Related Episodes Make Leadership Communication a Habit
Kimberly, Sonia and Tom answer a question from Lorena in Austin: “Prior to COVID, in one of our meetings after the meeting, we wondered what our boss would do if he knew what we said when he's not around. I'm now being promoted to work with a new group and want the group to experience me in a positive way? Your advice?”There were lots of ideas about Lorena's situation: Sonia urged Lorena to have one-on-one expectation-setting conversations.Kimberly suggested Lorena state her intentions clearly and invite feedback. Tom challenged Lorena to balance accountability with acceptance. He also recommended she look at Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most from the Harvard Negotiation Project. And that's barely the beginning!Kimberly Layne leads The Kimberly Connection Company, wrote Connections Change Everything and hosts The Power of Connection on YouTube. Reach out to Kimberly here.Sonia Jeantet runs CIMA Executive Development and is the author of The Integrative Leader. Be in touch with Sonia here.Tom Henschel is the head of Essential Communications and hosts The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast. You can contact Tom here.We're grateful for your reviews and support!Next month there'll more ideas for how you can unlock your leadership. See you then!You can submit a question to the coaches here.
GUEST: Karen Green is executive director at Cat Adoption Team, the Pacific Northwest's largest nonprofit, feline-only animal shelter. Before that, she was senior director at the Alliance for Contraception in Cats & Dogs and assistant director of the No More Homeless Pets program at Best Friends Animal Society. MAIN QUESTION: How can animal organizations build a healthy workplace culture, which is so important in a competitive job market? TAKEAWAYS: Open two-way communication is key to having a strong, positive organizational structure. If there's a program or policy that isn't working, you need to know – so staff needs to have a way to share such information with people who can fix the problem. Ask for feedback and make it safe for people to give feedback by demonstrating your trustworthiness. Implement suggestions when they make sense. If you don't plan to implement someone's ideas or suggestions, they are more likely to accept your decision if they feel that their concerns were heard. Repeat back what the person said to make sure you understood before explaining your own position. Create an environment where people can have a good work-life balance through reasonable expectations and work hours. When people are at work, they should be working and when off, they should be encouraged to care for the other parts of their lives. Examine staffing levels and processes to support this. Gently encourage people who check in when off work by saying something like, “Aren't you supposed to be on vacation?” Sometimes there will be times you just need to put in extra hours, perhaps for a budget deadline, a special event, or a large rescue situation. But make these the exception, not the rule, so that overwork does not create burnout. Address conflicts and issues when they come up. Little problems become big problems over time. LINKS: Cat Adoption Team (website) Cat Adoption Team's workplace culture agreement (example) "The Happy, Healthy Nonprofit: Strategies for Impact without Burnout" by Beth Kanter and Aliza Sherman (book) "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven R. Covey (book) "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Douglas Stone (book) "Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition" by Kerry Patterson (book) "Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity" by Kim Scott (book) Leadership recommendation: "How to run more effective daily standup meetings" (article)
Read the full Show Notes and search through the world's largest audio library on Scrum directly on the Scrum Master Toolbox Podcast website: http://bit.ly/SMTP_ShowNotes. Gonçalo was working with two teams that were busy migrating to a new system. However, in one of these teams there was a disruptive team member. The management tried to put this team member aside by pushing him into test management. But this only made the situation worse. Listen in to learn what Gonçalo tried to help this team member, and what he learned from this story that he carries with him ever since. Featured Book of the Week: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Stone et al. While reading Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Stone et al., Gonçalo realized that it's possible and there's a method to having conversations on very difficult topics, yet be constructive. This book shares some critical tools that all Scrum Masters should be aware of. In this segment, we also refer to the book User Story Mapping by Jeff Patton, and to the Oikosofy's User Story Mapping facilitator's guide, available for free. How can Angela (the Agile Coach) quickly build healthy relationships with the teams she's supposed to help? What were the steps she followed to help the Breeze App team fight off the competition? Find out how Angela helped Naomi and the team go from “behind” to being ahead of Intuition Bank, by focusing on the people! Download the first 4 chapters of the BOOK for FREE while it is in Beta! About Gonçalo Valverde Gonçalo is an Agile Coach from Portugal working with teams and organizations in their continuous improvement journey. As a keen amateur photographer, he learned that less is more and how constraints help one focus on the outcomes. He's also a co-organizer of Agile Coach Camp Portugal. You can link with Gonçalo Valverde on LinkedIn and connect with Gonçalo Valverde on Twitter.
Having difficult conversations is never easy. You have to prepare yourself for unresolved issues and agreeing to disagree. The reason Alyssa and Jocelyn talk about this topic is because of a new book Alyssa is reading, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglass Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. They discuss having those difficult conversations in the workplace and in their personal lives between friends, family, and spouses. Link for Book Recommendation Amazon Kindle - Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglass Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila HeenAlyssa's Topic Points:Keep Goals Realistic Reduce the AssumptionLook at the Underlying Feelings and Emotions on Your Side and Your PartnersDon't Cut People of When They Are SpeakingDon't Be Afraid of Silence. Everyone Processes Things DifferentlyDeduct the Actual Conflict. Your Not Mad About the Project Details You're Wondering if it's Worth Worrying About For the Resolution It's Not in Your Actions it's in Your ThinkingIf You Only Strive for Improvement in Actions and Not What to do With the Behaviors You Will Continue to FailWorking on Reducing Fear, Anxiety, Whatever the Emotion is and then Managing the Remaining Problems is Usually a More Attainable ApproachJocelyn's Topic Points:Listen Up - Be Fully Present for the Other Person in the ConversationBe Clear About How You Feel and What You Want Out of That ConversationLook at the Issue From Their Perspective - Step Into Their ShoesTake a Break/ Table the Conversations - If Nothing is Getting Resolved or You're Feeling Numb Finish the Conversation There Until Another Time Agree to DisagreeLook After YourselfLook. After. Yourself.Instagram: tablestalks.podcastInstagram: jocelynstacia.coInstagram: alyssalynne12
Sheila Heen of The Harvard Negotiation Project — How to Navigate Hard Conversations, the Subtle Art of Apologizing, and a Powerful 60-Day Challenge | Brought to you by LinkedIn Jobs recruitment platform with 750M users, Eight Sleep's Pod Pro Cover sleeping solution for dynamic cooling and heating, and Public Goods high-quality everyday essentials. More on all three below.Sheila Heen is a New York Times best-selling author, founder of Triad Consulting Group, and a deputy director of the Harvard Negotiation Project at Harvard Law School, where she has been a member of the faculty for 25 years. Sheila specializes in particularly difficult negotiations, where emotions run high and relationships become strained. She often works with executive teams, helping them to resolve conflict, repair professional relationships, and make sound decisions together. In the public sector, she has provided training for the New England Organ Bank, the Singapore Supreme Court, the Obama White House, and theologians struggling with disagreement over the nature of truth and God.Sheila is co-author of the New York Times bestsellers Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (even when it's off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you're not in the mood). She has written for the Harvard Business Review and the New York Times — as a guest expert and contributor to the “Modern Love” column — and she has appeared on NPR, Fox News, CNBC's Power Lunch, and shows as diverse as Oprah and The G. Gordon Liddy Show. She has spoken at the Global Leadership Summit, the Nordic Business Forum, the Smithsonian, Apple, Google, and Microsoft. Sheila is a graduate of Occidental College and Harvard Law School. She is schooled in negotiation daily by her three children.Please enjoy!This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep! Eight Sleep's Pod Pro Cover is the easiest and fastest way to sleep at the perfect temperature. It pairs dynamic cooling and heating with biometric tracking to offer the most advanced (and user-friendly) solution on the market. Simply add the Pod Pro Cover to your current mattress and start sleeping as cool as 55°F or as hot as 110°F. It also splits your bed in half, so your partner can choose a totally different temperature.And now, my dear listeners—that's you—can get $250 off the Pod Pro Cover. Simply go to EightSleep.com/Tim or use code TIM. *This episode is also brought to you by Public Goods! Public Goods is the one-stop shop for sustainable, high-quality, everyday essentials made from clean ingredients at an affordable price. Public Goods searches the globe to find healthy, eco-friendly, and innovative products and then packages them using a single, streamlined aesthetic for your home so you can get all of your premium essentials in one place and avoid buying from a bunch of mismatched, single-product brands. Multiple people on my team were already using Public Goods, and now, so am I.Visit PublicGoods.com/Tim to receive $20 off the products in your first Public Goods order using code TIM, with no minimum purchase required! *This episode is also brought to you by LinkedIn Jobs. Whether you are looking to hire now for a critical role or thinking about needs that you may have in the future, LinkedIn Jobs can help. LinkedIn screens candidates for the hard and soft skills you're looking for and puts your job in front of candidates looking for job opportunities that match what you have to offer.Using LinkedIn's active community of more than 750 million professionals worldwide, LinkedIn Jobs can help you find and hire the right person faster. When your business is ready to make that next hire, find the right person with LinkedIn Jobs. And now, you can post a job for free. Just visit LinkedIn.com/Tim.*If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in helping to convince hard-to-get guests. I also love reading the reviews!For show notes and past guests, please visit tim.blog/podcast.Sign up for Tim's email newsletter (“5-Bullet Friday”) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss YouTube: youtube.com/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Did you know that every difficult conversation is actually three conversations, and two of them we ignore at our peril? Did you know that one of the longest standing national border disputes finally got resolved after two of the adversaries discovered they had one special thing in common? And did you know that by asking three simple questions, you can put your difficult conversation on the road to resolution? Well, get ready to learn about all that and more, because it's just a small part of my conversation with mediation expert Douglas Stone, former associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project, co-founder of the Triad Consulting Group, and, last but not least, co-author of the New York Times best seller, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, and his most recent book with co-author Sheila Heen, Thanks for the Feedback, The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. _________________________For more insights into the art and science of difficult conversations, check out my website. You can also sign up for my free newsletter.
Dr. Becca Tagg from Del Mar Behavioral Health joins me to discuss the unique approach her agency uses to train early-career BCBAs. This conversation was inspired by the interview I conducted with Dr. Mary Jane Weiss last year, in which we talked about how cool it would be if the field had an ABA equivalent of a medical residency model, so that BCBAs can learn about practicing with a variety of populations. As you'll hear in the interview, Becca heard this and reached out to say that this is exactly what they do, and we spend the majority of the conversation discussing just how they implement this unique training strategy. Before we get to the residency topic, we spent a little bit of time catching up since our last chat, and especially focus on how Del Mar's services adapted to the Covid-19 pandemic. To this end, I should also note that we recorded this conversation in December, and as such, some of the references may seem a bit anachronistic, but many of these challenges are still with us in the Spring of 2021, so I chose to keep that part of the conversation in this episode. If you like these types of topics, I suggest that you join the ABA Business Builders Facebook Group if you haven't already done so. While you're there, say hello to Becca! Here are the links to resources we discussed: Becca's first episode with me, Session 97. My interview with Mary Jane Weiss (definitely check out if you haven't heard it yet), Session 128. A golden oldie, my conversation with Tim Courtney, Session 46. Becca's podcast and business consulting services. Sniffy, the Virtual Rat. #DoBetterMovement. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Stone, Patton, Heen and Fisher. This episode of Behavioral Observations was brought to you with support from: HRIC Recruiting. Barb Voss has been placing BCBAs in permanent positions throughout the US for just about a decade, and has been in the business more generally for 30 years. When you work with HRIC, you work directly with Barb, thereby accessing highly personalized service. So if you're about to graduate, you're looking for a change of pace, or you just want to know if the grass really is greener on the other side, head over to HRIColorado.com to schedule a confidential chat right away. Consider joining the BOP Patreon. Patreon members get early access to podcasts, bonus podcast material, discounts on CEU events from FTF and other continuing ed purveyors, occasional Zoom hangouts, and more! The Whoop Strap! I've been wearing the Whoop Strap for just a few weeks and I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed getting quantitative information on all aspects of my health, including sleep analytics, heart rate, along with heart rate variability, calorie burn, exercise intensity, and Whoop's proprietary "strain" score. I could extol this neat device's virtues indefinitely to you, but instead, you can go check it out for yourself. To get your first month free, head over to behavioralobservations.com/whoop! Also, feel free to join the Behavior Analysts who Whoop Facebook group!
This week we talk with Catherine Morrison, executive coach, consultant, and law professor specializing in conflict management and negotiation who has taught at Johns Hopkins University and Penn State University. Catherine is here today to share with us her insights about how to manage and anticipate conflict and use it to our advantage. Recommended resource: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Shelia Heen
This week on "The Conversation with Clinton M. Padgett”, Clint wraps up his chat with Douglas Stone, the co-author of “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most”. In part two, they discuss the difference between blame and contribution.
This week, Clint has a conversation with Douglas Stone, the Founder of Triad Consulting and a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, where he teaches negotiation. He's also the co-author of “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well” and “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most”.
Det er stor forskjell på å uttrykke sine følelser og utagere følelser. Det første er psykisk sundt, mens det andre kan være skadelig.Evnen til å uttrykke sine følelser betraktes gjerne som et tegn på mental styrke, men det er forskjell på å uttrykke følelser og bli emosjonell. Når vi blir emosjonelle, overveldes vi av følelser, og sjansen for at vi handler overilt er mye større. Følelser er en viktig del av vårt psykologiske liv, men når de overstyrer alle andre prosesser, havner vi i følelsenes vold. Det er sjelden bra.Sinne er blant de følelsene som kan være vanskelige å uttrykke på en adekvat måte. For noen er sinne en følelse som får overtaket, og ansporer til en form for utagering man angrer på i etterkant. Dersom vi klarer å uttrykke sinne uten å bli overveldet, kan det være en god måte å sette grenser på eller markere seg.Siste del av denne episoden var kun en kort vignett fra en lengre forelesning om Sigmund Freud, kastraksjonsangst og psykiske konflikter. Hvis du ønsker å høre hele foredraget, som kun ble presentert med et lite utdrag her mot slutten av episoden, så finner du altså dette foredraget under overskriften «Kastraksjonsangst og andre psykiske konflikter» på www.patreon.com/sinnsyn.På min Patreon side har jeg også postet mange flere foredrag og forelesninger i sin fulle lengde. Er du litt over middels interessert i psykologi og filosofi, så finner du masse ekstramateriale og flere episoder av SinnSyn på SinnSyns mentale helsestudio. Ved å støtte meg på Patreon med et selvvalgt beløp i måneden, er du med på å holde hjulene i gang her på SinnSyn og WebPsykologen.no. Jeg buker mye tid, krefter og økonomiske midler på dette prosjektet, og jeg elsker å jobb med det. Hvis du finner verdi her på SinnSyn, og har muligheten til å bidra litt, i form av et slags abonnement, setter jeg utrolig stor pris på det, og jeg vil uttrykke min takknemlighet med større innsats fra min side og gi deg tilgang på mye ekstramateriale eksklusivt for dem som velger å være medlem på mitt mentale treningsstudio på Patreon."Merche" fra SinnSynEn annen måte å støtte podcasten på, er å kjøpe merchandise fra SinnSyn. Er du en person som liker å tenke litt dypere, og ser på denne typen refleksjon og ettertanke som mental trening, mener jeg at man bør ha treningstøyet i orden. På et nettsted som heter Teespring har jeg min egen butikk hvor du kan få kjøpt SinnSyns kolleksjon av «mentalt treningstøy». Kolleksjonen heter «Alt du tenker og føler er feil», og hvis du skjønner hva det slagordet forsøker å formidle, må du nesten ha en skjorte som reflekterer denne innsikten. Sjekk ut mine T-skjorter og hoodies på Teespring.Takk for støtte og takk for følge! KildeGoleman, D. (2002) Emosjonell intelligens, Oslo: Gyldendal. Goleman, D. (2003) Destruktive følelser – hvordan kan vi håndtere dem? En vitenskapelig dialog med Dalai Lama, Danmark: Borgens Forlag. Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999) Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, New York: Viking. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Det er stor forskjell på å uttrykke sine følelser og utagere følelser. Det første er psykisk sundt, mens det andre kan være skadelig.Evnen til å uttrykke sine følelser betraktes gjerne som et tegn på mental styrke, men det er forskjell på å uttrykke følelser og bli emosjonell. Når vi blir emosjonelle, overveldes vi av følelser, og sjansen for at vi handler overilt er mye større. Følelser er en viktig del av vårt psykologiske liv, men når de overstyrer alle andre prosesser, havner vi i følelsenes vold. Det er sjelden bra.Sinne er blant de følelsene som kan være vanskelige å uttrykke på en adekvat måte. For noen er sinne en følelse som får overtaket, og ansporer til en form for utagering man angrer på i etterkant. Dersom vi klarer å uttrykke sinne uten å bli overveldet, kan det være en god måte å sette grenser på eller markere seg.Siste del av denne episoden var kun en kort vignett fra en lengre forelesning om Sigmund Freud, kastraksjonsangst og psykiske konflikter. Hvis du ønsker å høre hele foredraget, som kun ble presentert med et lite utdrag her mot slutten av episoden, så finner du altså dette foredraget under overskriften «Kastraksjonsangst og andre psykiske konflikter» på www.patreon.com/sinnsyn.På min Patreon side har jeg også postet mange flere foredrag og forelesninger i sin fulle lengde. Er du litt over middels interessert i psykologi og filosofi, så finner du masse ekstramateriale og flere episoder av SinnSyn på SinnSyns mentale helsestudio. Ved å støtte meg på Patreon med et selvvalgt beløp i måneden, er du med på å holde hjulene i gang her på SinnSyn og WebPsykologen.no. Jeg buker mye tid, krefter og økonomiske midler på dette prosjektet, og jeg elsker å jobb med det. Hvis du finner verdi her på SinnSyn, og har muligheten til å bidra litt, i form av et slags abonnement, setter jeg utrolig stor pris på det, og jeg vil uttrykke min takknemlighet med større innsats fra min side og gi deg tilgang på mye ekstramateriale eksklusivt for dem som velger å være medlem på mitt mentale treningsstudio på Patreon."Merche" fra SinnSynEn annen måte å støtte podcasten på, er å kjøpe merchandise fra SinnSyn. Er du en person som liker å tenke litt dypere, og ser på denne typen refleksjon og ettertanke som mental trening, mener jeg at man bør ha treningstøyet i orden. På et nettsted som heter Teespring har jeg min egen butikk hvor du kan få kjøpt SinnSyns kolleksjon av «mentalt treningstøy». Kolleksjonen heter «Alt du tenker og føler er feil», og hvis du skjønner hva det slagordet forsøker å formidle, må du nesten ha en skjorte som reflekterer denne innsikten. Sjekk ut mine T-skjorter og hoodies på Teespring.Takk for støtte og takk for følge! KildeGoleman, D. (2002) Emosjonell intelligens, Oslo: Gyldendal. Goleman, D. (2003) Destruktive følelser – hvordan kan vi håndtere dem? En vitenskapelig dialog med Dalai Lama, Danmark: Borgens Forlag. Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999) Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, New York: Viking. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode, Chris Hadnagy, Shelby Dacko and Jonathan Miller discuss many ways to improve your skills as a communicator. Learn the importance of observing the information your own body gives you. Hear their experiences with being amygdala hijacked, and how you can have your own superhero moment. 00:07 – Introduction to Shelby Dacko, Human Risk Analyst for Social-Engineer. 00:44 – Introduction to Jonathan Miller and his experience resolving conflict without violence. 02:06 – How to focus on nonviolent communication in violent circumstances. 04:18 – How to engage in productive conversation by respecting other’s opinions. 06:24 – Become a better communicator by paying attention to introspective sensations. 10:33 – How a 1984 GMC Vandura and a potato helped Jonathan become a communications expert. 14:48 – Why most people pay no attention to the way they communicate. 18:58 – Announcements: Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You Virtual Advanced Practical Social Engineering - 17-20 November, 2020 The Human Hacking Conference - Orlando, FL March 11-13, 2021 HHC SE Pentest Track – Day 2 – Vishing (Curt) Advanced Practical Social Engineering – Orlando 13-16 April, 2021 Masters Level Social Engineering – Orlando, Fl 10-14 May, 2021 Advanced Practical Social Engineering – Bristol, UK 15-18 June, 2021 Social-Engineer.com 23:35 – How to become self-aware of the way you communicate. 25:08 – How to Deal with Defensiveness and Defensive People in Conversations 26:09 – How an amygdala hijack can trigger a defensive response and how you can work to fight it. 42:56 – Defensiveness creates more defensiveness. 44:29 – Jonathan's contact info, podcast and social media links. Press Kit: http://bit.ly/JMPressKit Website: https://www.mindfulcommunication.me Mindful Communication Podcast: https://anchor.fm/podcast-863ccb8 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/millerdjonathan/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulcommunication/ Tough Talks Made Easy: https://bit.ly/ToughTalksMadeEasy Code: social50 Article: How to Deal with Defensiveness and Defensive People in Conversations 46:39: Jonathan’s book recommendations. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind 48:01 – Outro Chris on Twitter Social-Engineer on Twitter Social-Engineer on Instagram Social-Engineer.org Social-Engineer.com The Human Hacking Conference The Human Hacking Conference on Twitter The Innocent Lives Foundation The Innocent Lives Foundation on Twitter
When it comes to judging whether a source of information is trustworthy and credible, caring and empathy are the most important criteria in the CODE. In this episode, we take a closer look at what caring and empathy means and how we can show audiences that we're caring and empathetic in difficult situations. You can order a copy of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most on Amazon by following this link: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=difficult+conversations+how+to+discuss+what+matters+most&crid=3RTPB6ZHULBQ8&sprefix=difficult+%2Caps%2C164&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-apa-p_4_10. Thanks as always to Jim Cirillo for the original music and CC Snetsinger for the original art. Please send questions to wtswtgt@gmail.com and follow us on Twitter at #wstwtgt.
When it comes to judging whether a source of information is trustworthy and credible, caring and empathy are the most important criteria in the CODE. In this episode, we take a closer look at what caring and empathy means and how we can show audiences that we're caring and empathetic in difficult situations. You can order a copy of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most on Amazon by following this link: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=difficult+conversations+how+to+discuss+what+matters+most&crid=3RTPB6ZHULBQ8&sprefix=difficult+%2Caps%2C164&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-apa-p_4_10. Thanks as always to Jim Cirillo for the original music and CC Snetsinger for the original art. Please send questions to wtswtgt@gmail.com and follow us on Twitter at #wstwtgt.
After discussing the theory of trust and credibility in Episode 4, we move on to the practice of trust and credibility: How do we build and maintain these two crucial communication qualities in difficult situations? The CODE for trust and credibility was developed by Dr. Vincent Covello, director of the Center for Risk Communication at Columbia University. The Center can be found at centerforriskcommunication.com. Find Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most at amazon.com. Jim Cirillo created the original music for WTSWTGT. Find him at jimiumgroup.com. CC Snetsinger created the original art.
After discussing the theory of trust and credibility in Episode 4, we move on to the practice of trust and credibility: How do we build and maintain these two crucial communication qualities in difficult situations? The CODE for trust and credibility was developed by Dr. Vincent Covello, director of the Center for Risk Communication at Columbia University. The Center can be found at centerforriskcommunication.com. Find Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most at amazon.com. Jim Cirillo created the original music for WTSWTGT. Find him at jimiumgroup.com. CC Snetsinger created the original art.
From time to time in our daily lives, we get into difficult conversations, such as when we ask for a promotion or end a relationship. Such conversations, though seemingly ordinary, leave us feeling anxious and put us in a dilemma. So, what should we do in difficult conversations? This book ‘Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most’ can give you the answer. This book is the product of fifteen years of research by the Harvard Negotiation Project and has been an international bestseller since its publication.
We are drawing from the great book by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. If you ARE Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, or Sheila Heen, let us know--we'd love to have you on! In this episode we discuss: what is a difficult conversation and when to have them the three conversations how to prepare for and conduct difficult conversations
Are you putting off a crucial conversation that you know you should have? Would you like a step-by-step approach for how to have your toughest and most crucial conversations with less stress and more success? Who wouldn't! The proven strategy and lasting rewards for you and your organization are coming up, next. Sheila Heen is Founder of Triad Consulting Group and has been on the Harvard Law School faculty as a Lecturer of Law since 1995. Sheila has spent more than twenty years with the Harvard Negotiation Project, developing negotiation theory and practice. She specializes in particularly difficult negotiations – where emotions run high and relationships become strained. Sheila is co-author of the New York Times bestseller: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Find full show notes here https://www.bcwinstitute.org/podcast/sheila-heen-havi…lt-conversations/
Light House Building Centre's Brenda Martens About the Episode In this episode, we visit with Brenda Martens. Brenda has worked in the building industry for over 25 years. She is a practitioner, educator, and advocate in the field of green building and sustainability. She is also the Director of Research and Collaboration for Light House Sustainable Building Centre. She has served on the Board of Directors of the Cascadia Green Building Council, is a past faculty member of the Canada Green Building Council (CaGBC) and the University of British Columbia Continuing Studies, and is a co-founder of Recollective Consulting and the Open Green Building Society, an organization that open sources information about green buildings. She currently teaches green building and sustainability for BCIT. Tune in to this episode to hear more about Brenda's journey. Key Talking Points Getting to know Brenda Brenda's start in sustainability First experience with Green projects Exposure to Mentors LEED Fellow Cascadia Projects during Brenda's Career What does the future hold Bucket List Brenda's Advice Key Milestones of the Episode [01:43] Intro to Brenda Martens [02:30] Early Exposure to Physics [03:05] Brenda's AHA Moment [05:36] Mentors [10:25] Living Building Challenge [16:20] Buildings at the end of life [18:34] Trends in the future of green building [22:56] Areas of Strength for Brenda [24:32] Brenda's Bucket List [29:25] Final Words of Encouragement Key Quotes from the Episode “My focus was on commercial buildings at the time, I had never worked in the single-family, residential market.” “That's when I had my first epiphany that we didn't have to do business as usual.” “The design for disassembly and reuse is not strong. How do you design for buildings and life?” “I see a proliferation of different standards and rating systems. Some of them like the Living Building Challenge and LEED are holistic and some are more concentrated on a portion of the characteristics of buildings.” “You look at it as an opportunity not a challenge.” Key Resources Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone Learn More about Brenda Martens, B.Sc., CSBA, LEED AP BD+C, LEED Fellow Brenda's work experience encompasses residential, institutional, commercial, and industrial projects throughout British Columbia, including the Vancouver and Whistler Athletes' Villages, the Okanagan College Centre of Excellence (a Living Building Challenge Petal candidate), and over 20 BC housing projects across the province. She is deeply involved in the green building movement and has served the community as Chair of the Site and Water Technical Advisory Group (TAG); LEED Canada Steering Committee member; and the City of Vancouver Green Building Strategy Committee member, amongst other roles. She is committed to growing the green building movement through practice, mentorship and education. LinkedIn Connect with Charlie Cichetti and GBES Charlie on LinkedIn Green Building Educational Services GBES on Twitter Connect on LinkedIn Like on Facebook Google+ GBES Pinterest Pins GBES on Instagram GBES is excited our membership community is growing. Consider joining our membership community as members are given access to some of the guests on the podcasts that you can ask project questions. If you are preparing for an exam, there will be more assurance that you will pass your next exam, you will be given cliff notes if you are a member, and so much more. Go to www.gbes.com/join to learn more about the 4 different levels of access to this one-of-a-kind career-advancing green building community! If you truly enjoyed the show, don't forget to leave a positive rating and review on iTunes. We have prepared more episodes for the upcoming weeks, so come by again next week! Thank you for tuning in to the Green Building Matters Podcast! Copyright © 2019 GBES
Asking for a raise. Disagreeing with your boss. Telling your neighbor that their dog's barking is bothering you. Talking about money with your spouse. Debating politics with a friend. These are all difficult conversations fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but my guest says that with the right framework, you can handle even the most pitfall-laden exchanges. Her name is Sheila Heen, she's spent twenty years developing negotiation theory and practice as part of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and she's one of the co-authors of the book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Sheila starts things off by sharing the most common difficult conversations people encounter professionally and personally and the most common unhelpful ways people deal with them. She then explains how every difficult conversation actually has three hidden conversations going on, how people confuse the impact of what others say and do with their intentions, how you can acknowledge your contribution to a problem without assuming the blame, how to share your emotions without being emotional, and how to generally move a conversation from being about combative confrontation, to being about exploring each other's stories. Get the show notes at aom.is/difficultconversations.
In this session, you’ll hear Paulette’s ideas on reflexive leadership as a lifelong effort to do the hard work of changemaking, starting with yourself and moving outward to your organization and broader society. For the full transcript and the ideas, visit https://maytree.com/five-good-ideas/five-good-ideas-about-reflexive-leadership/. Every leader wants to become the most effective they can be, and leaders of changemaking organizations carry a special responsibility to “be the change.” But there’s always a gap between how you see yourself and how others see and experience you. Closing that gap – enabling your “inner leader” to match your “outer leader” – requires a reflexive leadership approach. It helps expand your consciousness of who you are and how you show up in the work you do, as well as how you fit in a broader context of systemic realities that lie outside of you but deeply impact you and your communities every day. In this session, Paulette Senior provides key insights on reflexive leadership as a lifelong effort to do the hard work of changemaking, starting with yourself and moving outward to your organization and the broader society itself. Five Good Ideas 1. Stop going in circles 2. Circle back 3. Draw a new circle 4. Explore what’s in the circle 5. Complete the circle Resources 1. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen 2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey 3. Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity, by Kim Scott 4. Dancing on Live Embers: Challenging Racism in Organizations, by Tina Lopes and Barb Thomas 5. The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias, by Dolly Chugh About Paulette Senior Paulette Senior has devoted her life and career to breaking down systemic barriers and building up diverse women and girls. Her personal experience immigrating to Canada from Jamaica as a young girl ignited her interest in social justice and helped make her the dynamic, grounded leader she is today. Paulette’s career began in social services in some of Toronto’s most underserved neighbourhoods. She witnessed the need for systemic change and learned the power of putting the voices of women and equity-seeking communities first. She became known for her excellence in shelter, employment, and housing service provision, as well as for her intersectional approach to advocacy. She has earned numerous awards and has become one of the most respected women leaders in Canada. In 2016, Paulette joined the Canadian Women’s Foundation as President and CEO after a decade serving as CEO of YWCA Canada. She is a sought-after thought-leader on numerous issues including gender equity and gender-based violence; women’s poverty and the wage gap; girls’ empowerment; and leadership. Her focus at the Foundation is to bolster an inclusive national movement for all women, girls, and communities across Canada.
Sheila Heen is my guest today. This is the second part of a two-part interview with her. The first part is available here. Sheila is the coauthor of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (1999), a New York Times Business Bestseller that has continuously been in print. An updated 10th anniversary edition was published in 2010. She’s also the coauthor of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Arts of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It’s Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered and Frankly, You’re Not in the Mood), a New York Times bestseller. She is a lecturer at Harvard Law School and a founder of Triad Consulting Group. Here is a transcript of this episode. If you enjoyed this show, please rate it on iTunes: * Go to the show’s iTunes page and click “View in iTunes”* Click “Ratings and Reviews” which is to the right of “Details”* Next to “Click to Rate” select the stars. See the full list of episodes of Half Hour of Heterodoxy >>
Sheila Heen is my guest today. She’s the coauthor of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (1999), a New York Times Business Bestseller that has continuously been in print. An updated 10th anniversary edition was published in 2010. She’s also the coauthor of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It’s Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered and Frankly, You’re Not in the Mood), a New York Times bestseller. She is a lecturer at Harvard Law School and a founder of Triad Consulting Group. We discuss difficult conversations between faculty and students in this episode, the first of two episodes with Sheila Heen. We recorded this using Skype because of technical problems with the application that we normally use. You may notice lower audio quality. Here is a transcript of this episode. Rating the Show If you enjoyed this show, please rate it on iTunes: * Go to the show’s iTunes page and click “View in iTunes”* Click “Ratings and Reviews” which is to the right of “Details”* Next to “Click to Rate” select the stars. See the full list of episodes of Half Hour of Heterodoxy >>
Sponsors Netlify Sentry– use the code “devchat” for two months free on Sentry’s small plan CacheFly Panel Ben Hong Ari Clark Joined by Special Guest: Debbie O'Brien Summary Debbie O’Brien shares her journey becoming a programmer and how she got into Vue and contributing to open source projects. The panel talks about contributing to open source and how to get started contributing. Debbie discusses her background in education and her work with Vue school and ultimate courses. The panel discusses the misconceptions about open source maintainers and speakers and how they are just people. Debbie shares experiences give Nuxt talks and the panel gives tips to Ari for her upcoming talk. Links https://vueschool.io/ https://vueschool.io/courses/vue-router-for-everyone https://ultimatecourses.com/ Debbie O'Brien - Getting started with nuxt.js + static sites - vueday 2019 Leave your legacy code behind and go Nuxt - Debbie O'Brien - Vue Day 2019 https://blog.teamtreehouse.com/learning-to-code-changed-my-life Dream Builders course https://vuetoronto.com/ https://antarcticonf.com/ https://www.ukraine.buildstuff.events/ https://www.buildstuff.lt/#! https://medium.com/@debbie.obrien https://twitter.com/debs_obrien https://github.com/debs-obrien https://www.facebook.com/ViewsonVue https://twitter.com/viewsonvue Picks Ben Hong: Tessa Park- Co-organizer for Vue NYC Ari Clark: Kirkland Signature Fruity Snacks Chris Fritz: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values Speechless Debbie O’Brien: https://hasura.io/ https://ultimatecourses.com/learn/javascript-basics
Sponsors Netlify Sentry– use the code “devchat” for two months free on Sentry’s small plan CacheFly Panel Ben Hong Ari Clark Joined by Special Guest: Debbie O'Brien Summary Debbie O’Brien shares her journey becoming a programmer and how she got into Vue and contributing to open source projects. The panel talks about contributing to open source and how to get started contributing. Debbie discusses her background in education and her work with Vue school and ultimate courses. The panel discusses the misconceptions about open source maintainers and speakers and how they are just people. Debbie shares experiences give Nuxt talks and the panel gives tips to Ari for her upcoming talk. Links https://vueschool.io/ https://vueschool.io/courses/vue-router-for-everyone https://ultimatecourses.com/ Debbie O'Brien - Getting started with nuxt.js + static sites - vueday 2019 Leave your legacy code behind and go Nuxt - Debbie O'Brien - Vue Day 2019 https://blog.teamtreehouse.com/learning-to-code-changed-my-life Dream Builders course https://vuetoronto.com/ https://antarcticonf.com/ https://www.ukraine.buildstuff.events/ https://www.buildstuff.lt/#! https://medium.com/@debbie.obrien https://twitter.com/debs_obrien https://github.com/debs-obrien https://www.facebook.com/ViewsonVue https://twitter.com/viewsonvue Picks Ben Hong: Tessa Park- Co-organizer for Vue NYC Ari Clark: Kirkland Signature Fruity Snacks Chris Fritz: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values Speechless Debbie O’Brien: https://hasura.io/ https://ultimatecourses.com/learn/javascript-basics
Go Help Yourself: A Comedy Self-help Podcast to Make Life Suck Less
Jesse Chapman, a very special guest host, walks us through the New York Times Bestseller Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. Read more about the authors below! Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having tough conversations with less stress and more success. The book promises you'll learn how to: -Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation -Start a conversation without defensiveness -Listen for the meaning of what is not said -Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations -Move from emotion to productive problem solving In this Difficult Conversations book review, we cover the main philosophies of the book and try mock difficult conversations ourselves. About the authors: Douglas Stone is a lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School and a founder of Triad Consulting Group. His articles on negotiation and conflict resolution have appeared in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Boston Globe, Management Consultant News, and IT Metrics. He has appeared on many TV and radio shows, including Oprah, and was a key-note speaker at the 2006 World Negotiation Forum in Brazil. Sheila Heen is also a Founder of Triad Consulting Group and has been on the Harvard Law School faculty as a Lecturer on Law since 1995. Sheila has spent more than twenty years with the Harvard Negotiation Project, developing negotiation theory and practice. She specializes in particularly difficult negotiations – where emotions run high and relationships become strained. Sheila and Doug are co-authors of the New York Times bestsellers Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well (Even When It’s Off-Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered and Frankly, You’re Not in the Mood) Bruce Patton is cofounder and distinguished fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project and a founder and partner of Vantage Partners, LLC. Along with Roger Fisher, Patton pioneered the teaching of negotiation at Harvard Law School, where he has taught since 1981. In the public arena, he helped to structure the resolution of the 1980 U.S.-Iranian hostage conflict and continues to work toward better conflict management in the Middle East and elsewhere. He is a co-author of the bestselling book Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. If you'd like to buy the book, you can snag it here. And if you'd like to know more about our awesome guest host Jesse, he can be found on Instagram @waitreally Jesse’s podcast Beyond Beyond Belief is also a ton of fun. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review Go Help Yourself!
Engaging in a difficult conversation takes preparation to enable one to be a non-anxious presence. These techniques will help you to prepare, get started and remain a non-anxious presence. Show Notes: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and Roger Fisher --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
There are three potential conversations that go on in our heads when we are having a difficult conversations: What happened, feelings and identity. Understanding how these work and what to do about them is essential to being a non-anxious presence in challenging interactions. Show Notes: This podcasts references material from Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and Roger Fisher. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message
This episode was inspired by one of our listeners. Jake’s questions are: How do you manage jerk behavior that is intended to be humorous? How does intended bonding turn into harm? We love these questions and they got us thinking about all of those actions and behaviours that we see as well-intentioned but that others see as jerky. On this episode, we explore the impact of off-handed remarks and observational comments, ways to react/respond if you are on the receiving end of said comment, and ways to improve our own self-awareness around what we say and do. Key Takeaways: Stop for a moment and think about how what you’re about to say or do may impact the other person; approach every interaction from a place of empathy If you’re on the receiving end of a comment, breathe and get some space before responding If someone lets you know that you’ve been an “inadvertent jerk,” own it, thank them for letting you know, and seek to understand Intention doesn’t mitigate impact We reference and recommend: “Difficult Conversation: How to Discuss What Matters Most,” by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Fierce Conversations “Leadership and Self-Deception; Getting Out of the Box,” by Arbinger Institute
How to have difficult conversations. Today I bring you Sheila Heen. An expert on managing difficult negotiations, Sheila is a lecturer at Harvard Law School and a founder of Triad Consulting. Her corporate clients include Apple, Unilever, the Federal Reserve Bank, Pixar, Novartis, and numerous others. She often partners with executive teams, helping them work through conflict, repair working relationships, and make sound decisions together. She’s the author of two New York Times bestselling books. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. She’s also spent the last 20 years with the Harvard Negotiation Project, developing negotiation theory and practice. Sheila has appeared on shows as diverse as Oprah, The G. Gordon Liddy Show, NPR, Fox News, and CNBC’s Power Lunch. If you don’t have time to listen to the entire episode or if you hear something that you like but don’t have time to write it down, be sure to grab your free copy of the Action Plan from this episode-- as well as get access to action plans from EVERY episode-- at JimHarshawJr.com/Action/. Let's connect: Website | Facebook | Twitter About Your Host Jim Harshaw My name is Jim Harshaw. And I know where you’re at. You’re working hard and qualified for what you do but you aren’t getting what you want. You have plans on getting to the C-suite or launching a business but ultimate success seems as far away today as ever. You’re in the right place because you can get there from here. And I can help. Who I Am I’m a speaker, coach, and former Division I All-American wrestler that helps motivated former athletes to reach their full potential by getting clarity on what they really want and taking aggressive action to lead their ideal life not just despite their prior failures but because of them. I’m a husband and father of four. And I’m a serial entrepreneur. I’ve launched multiple successful businesses as well as the obligatory failed one. I’ve been the executive director of a non-profit and have raised millions of dollars. I’ve worked in sales. I’ve even been a Division I head coach. While I was born in a blue-collar home I have spent my life surrounded by Olympians, CEO’s and millionaires. Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I’ve been lucky. I’ve learned the habits of successful people and guess what. You’re just like them. I know because I know your type. You’re programmed for hard work, which is a prerequisite for success, but you’ve never been shown how to use what you know to create the life you want with the tools you have. I will show you how. Why You Are Here You've worked hard to achieve greatness. You’ve set goals and maybe even set records. You’ve definitely failed and you’ve at some point found yourself questioning if you were on the right track. You need to understand this: You are far more prepared to succeed than those who’ve not tried, competed, struggled and overcome like you have. That’s the value of your education as someone who aims high. You are prepared to be as successful as your wildest dreams will allow. Here I will teach you, with the help of brilliant minds that have been shaped by failure, struggle, and adversity, to be who you want to be. I sense that you want this because you have read this far. To take the next step today, click here. FOLLOW JIM Website | Facebook | Twitter
On today's Global Exchange Podcast, we are joined by a panel of experts, including Pew Research's Jacob Poushter, to discuss the big international issues that are likely to dominate 2019. The Global Exchange is part of the CGAI Podcast Network. Subscribe to the CGAI Podcast Network on SoundCloud, iTunes, or wherever else you can find Podcasts! Bios: - Colin Robertson (host): A former Canadian diplomat, Colin Robertson is Vice President of the Canadian Global Affairs Institute. - Dave Perry: David Perry is the Senior Analyst and Vice President with the Canadian Global Affairs Institute. - Jacob Poushter: Jacob Poushter is an associate director at Pew Research Center. He is an expert in international survey research and writes about international public opinion on a variety of topics, including the international image of the United States, technology use around the world, views about extremism in predominantly Muslim nations and in the West, and public opinion on international threats. - Sarah Goldfeder: a Principal at the Earnscliffe Strategy Group and a Fellow at the Canadian Global Affairs Institute. - Andrew Griffith: A Fellow at the Canadian Global Affairs Institute and the former Director General, Citizenship and Multiculturalism Branch, at Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada. - Andrew Rasiulis: A Fellow with the Canadian Global Affairs Institute and a freelance consultant with Andrew Rasiulis Associates Inc. Related Links: - Pew Research Center (http://www.pewresearch.org/) - "Does Canada Need a Foreign Policy Review" by Randolph Mank (https://www.cgai.ca/does_canada_need_a_foreign_policy_review) [CGAI Policy Paper] Book Recommendations: - Dave Perry: "At the Centre of Government: The Prime Minister and the Limits on Political Power" by Ian Brodie (https://www.amazon.ca/At-Centre-Government-Minister-Political/dp/0773552901/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547502619&sr=8-1&keywords=at+the+centre+of+government) - Jacob Poushter: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton & Sheila Heen (https://www.amazon.ca/Difficult-Conversations-Discuss-What-Matters/dp/0143118447/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547502694&sr=8-1&keywords=difficult+conversations) - Sarah Goldfeder: "Killing Commendatore" by Haruki Murakami (https://www.amazon.ca/Killing-Commendatore-Haruki-Murakami/dp/038569069X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547502760&sr=8-1&keywords=killing+commendatore+by+haruki+murakami) - Andrew Griffith: "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen (https://www.amazon.ca/Born-Run-Bruce-Springsteen/dp/1501141511/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1547502655&sr=8-2&keywords=Born+To+Run) - Andrew Rasiulis: "Constantine: Dynasty, Religion and Power in the Later Roman Empire" by Timothy D. Barnes (https://www.amazon.ca/Constantine-Dynasty-Religion-Power-Empire/dp/1118782755/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1547502835&sr=8-1&keywords=Constantine+timothy) - Colin Robertson: "In a House of Lies" by Ian Rankin (https://www.amazon.ca/House-Lies-Ian-Rankin/dp/1409176908/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1547502868&sr=8-1) Recording Date: January 11th, 2019 Follow the Canadian Global Affairs Institute on Facebook, Twitter (@CAGlobalAffairs), or on Linkedin. Head over to our website at www.cgai.ca for more commentary. Produced by Jared Maltais. Music credits to Drew Phillips.
Joe Ferraro is currently in his 19th year as an educator, teaching English 12, Public Speaking, and Creative Writing. In addition to his work in the classroom, he is the creator and host of the personal growth podcast One Percent Better. His mission is to help people leverage small changes in mindset, language, and behavior in order to get life-changing results. On his quest to learn the secrets of daily improvement, Joe has interviewed some of the most creative minds in the world. Authors like Seth Godin, Daniel Pink, and Debbie Millman. World Champions like 14-time World Series of Poker champion Phil Hellmuth. People as far reaching as former FBI lead hostage negotiator Chris Voss. Joe’s writing has been featured on TopCoach.com and Inside Pitch Magazine. Joe has been a guest on several podcasts, including Teacher Tunnel, Creative NonFiction, TopCoach, and The Baseball Drive. You can follow Joe and his journey at Onepercentbetterproject.com (http://Onepercentbetterproject.com) BOOKS: Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek (https://amzn.to/2Lr2Z0u) Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen (https://amzn.to/2M4mP2E) Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen (https://amzn.to/2xVBSsq) The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz (https://amzn.to/2sEozHZ) Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell (https://amzn.to/2xP5Der) Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss (https://amzn.to/2JwvOeB) Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? by Seth Godin (https://amzn.to/2xQdZCD) CONTACT: https://www.onepercentbetterproject.com/ (https://www.onepercentbetterproject.com/) https://www.onepercentbetterproject.com/the-podcast/ (https://www.onepercentbetterproject.com/the-podcast/) ————————————————————————————————– I CO-WROTE A BOOK! This summer I co-authored, with a group of amazing entrepreneurs, a book called THE CHOICE which is available for pre-order now. My chapter is focused on how I fail and overcome it. We are currently building a pre-order list for publishers and every order counts. When you have a moment please click on this link, check out the book trailer, and pre-order a copy or 4. THE CHOICE (https://pszr.co/ZjzBq) Thank you!! BONUS: This podcast is brought to you by Audible. I have used Audible for years, and I love audiobooks. Click on the link to get a 30-day free trial, complete with a credit for a free audiobook download Audible.com (http://www.audibletrial.com/Yuri) QUESTION(S) OF THE DAY: What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.
Konfliktów raczej nie lubimy, ale konflikty się zdarzają. Nie ma w sprzeczce nic złego, jeśli się pojednamy i dojdziemy do wspólnego rozwiązania. Rozwiązane konflikty prowadzą do rozwoju i lepszego poznania drugiej osoby. Natomiast, konflikty nierozwiązane prowadzą do izolacji, budują mury oraz złe nawyki w nas. W KTIPie opowiadam o metodzie rozwiązywania konfliktów. Podaję trzy kroki, które znajdziecie szerzej opisane w książce (Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most): 1. Fakty: Co się wydarzyło? 2. Emocje: Rozmowa o Uczuciach 3. Tożsamość: Rozmowa o Tożsamości Zachęcam do wysłuchania, a następnie wdrożenia tych kroków w życie. Kasia PS A przy okazji dziękuję mojej przyjaciółce, Ewelinie Banackiej, za wspólną pracę w dziedzinie rozwiązywania konfliktów oraz morze wzajemnej inspiracji. Gdyby nie Ty, ten KTIp wcale by nie powstał. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (Stone, Patton and Heen). Krótkie omówienie książki wraz z formularzem przygotowującym do trudnych rozmów (co powiesz? co zrobisz?): https://bit.ly/2ovgIfF Książka do kupienia pt.: Difficult Conversations. How to Discuss What Matters Most: https://bit.ly/2Hys8or
Conflict is inevitable. But most of us were never taught the skills that would help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called ‘Conflict.’ This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. The book Tom references in this episode: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Stone, Patton & Heen. Related episodes this month are: A Difficult Conversation Disagree Agreeably Getting Agreement Repairing Damaged Relationships Resolving Conflict In the Tips archive is a category called "Relationship Building." Many episodes there have useful tools, too. Help yourself. https://essentialcomm.com/tag/relationship-building/
In this episode, Amy describes the five dysfunctions of a team as outlined in the book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni and provides ways that leaders might address each of these dysfunctions. What You'll Learn The five common dysfunctions of a team What you might do as a team leader to overcome these dysfunctions Resources The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable by Patrick Lencioni Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone The Deliberate Creative Podcast Episode 8: FourSight with Blair Miller Weekly Challenge Download the cheat sheet for this episode below and rate your team on each of these levels. If your team is not at a 4 or 5, create a plan to address the dysfunction within your team. Transcript Feel like reading instead of listening? The transcript will be available in a few days. Note: The links on this page may be affiliate links. That means I get a small commission of your sale, at no cost to you. However, I only share links to products that I or my guests believe in. Enjoy them!
GUEST: Elaine Lin Hering http://triadconsultinggroup.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainelinhering/ lin@diffcon.com Across industries, people say that feedback conversations are their most difficult conversations -- both giving and receiving. ONe the receiving end, it’s triggering. On the giving end, you may cause a trigger in the receiver, and you don’t know how it’s being received. Three kinds of feedback: Positive feedback: appreciation Coaching: guidance for improved effectiveness Evaluation: Tracking against expectations In order to learn and thrive and do good work, we need all three kinds of feedback.Feedback is: solicited and unsolicited Verbal and non-verbal When receiving feedback, people often feel judged. When feedback is non-verbal, it’s especially hard to interpret. Principles of Improvisation: Everything is an offer. We are meaning making machines. Be specific. Yes, And. “Tell me more about that.” Skills for giving feedback is half the equation. Receiving feedback is an equally important set of skills. We reject feedback for three reasons: Truth trigger: You’re wrong. You have incomplete data. Relationship trigger: I don’t like or trust you and your motivations. Identity trigger: That’s not me. That’s not who I want to be. I don’t want to face the possibility that this describes me or my behavior. Build awareness as a feedback giver and receiver of the above triggers. As a giver of feedback, notice and unpack the labels you’re using in giving feedback -- and Be Specific. Specificity can help get around the truth trigger by helping people to be clear that we’re talking about the same thing. As a receiver of feedback… take some time away and assess the feedback away from the stress of the confrontation. Don’t use vague or uncertain terms that require interpretation, and that will inevitably get different interpretations from different people. “Be more man-like.” Describe behavior and describe impact instead. When receiving feedback, observe your first reaction, and then you can choose your response. Human beings think in labels. It’s our job as givers (and even as receivers) to translate those labels into useful information. How can you frame the feedback to be in the self-interest of the feedback receiver. How will it benefit that person to make the change you’re suggesting? As a receiver, if 90% of the feedback someone gives you is off and irrelevant, focus on the 10% that can serve you. Feedback is information exchange and it’s the fuel and driver for getting stuff done. So, ask yourself, how is feedback going on our team? How painful is it? How effective is it?We need a mindset shift: Feedback isn’t the “F” word. It’s an opportunity for improvement and accelerated growth. Neglecting to give feedback insulates people from the reality of their behavior, of the reality of the impact of that behavior. If you aren’t giving me feedback, you’re cheating me out of the opportunity to learn and grow. There is no learning without feedback. If you’re giving people feedback, and it’s not working. 1) Look at how you’re having the conversation. 2) Give meta-feedback. “We’ve had this conversation before. There’s a problem here with your making adjustments based on feedback.” It’s critical to discuss the impact, the results, the consequences of behavior. As feedback givers, we will never be free of bias. We can work to filter it out. And as feedback receivers, our job is to try to filter through that bias as well. Your host on Mighty Good Work is Aaron Schmookler. https://www.linkedin.com/in/schmookler/ And, we’re The Yes Works -- Helping to make work good for people, and make people good for work. www.TheYesWorks.com Resources mentioned in today’s show: Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher and William Ury Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, by Douglas Stone Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well…, by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen Manager Tools HR West, A Professional Conference for HR folks in Northern California
Have you ever avoided difficult conversations? Do you know how to manage those conversations? In this week's episode of The David McQueen show, we explore tools and tips for Handling Difficult Conversations. So grab a drink, a pen and some paper and let's dive in. Resources: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
In this episode I interview Doug Stone, one of the authors (along with Sheila Heen) of the book Thanks for the Feedback and Jenn David-Lang who summarized the book for her Main Idea publication. We have a spirited discussion about the different types of feedback, why giving and receiving feedback can be so difficult, and how to get better at both sides of the process. You can reach Jenn at her website for The Main Idea (www.themainidea.net) or on Twitter @The_Mainidea. I'm a happy subscriber of The Main Idea, and a big fan of Jenn's work. Doug can be reached through his consulting group's website at triadconsultinggroup.com/. After you read Thanks for the Feedback, check out one of Doug's other books: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. As always, send your comments, questions, and show ideas to mike@schoolleadershipshow.com. Consider rating the podcast in iTunes and leaving a comment. And please pass the show along to your colleagues. If you'd like help improving your productivity and leadership skills, please contact me at mike@schoolleadershipshow.com or on Twitter @doughtymike.
In this special podcast series we have partnered with top well-being experts to help coach five members of our Live Happy team on how to make better choices and build habits that lead more fulfilling lives. Through this series we tackle topics like improving communication with others, managing negative thinking, overcoming chronic insomnia, setting life goals and learning to unplug from work. Michele Gravelle is a consultant with Triad Consulting where she works with the authors of the bestselling books: Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, and Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. Michele also facilitates executive education programs at the Harvard Negotiation Institute and Duke Corporate Education. In this episode Live Happy magazine Science Editor Paula Felps talks with Michele about the obstacles to effective communication and how to improve your communication with others.
In our first episode, co-host, Lena Starbird, shares her story as a stage 4 non-hodgkins lymphoma survivor. We also chat about: bone marrow biopsies when friends go MIA how to beat the bad taste of prednisone asking for help finding an anti-nasea med that works post cancer depression food: making up for lost time pre and post cancer traveling hug bouncers Other Mentioned Resources Picking Up the Pieces: Moving Forward after Surviving Cancer - by Sherri Magee & Kathy Scalzo Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most - by Douglas Stone & Bruce Patton Bird Pick Ginger Tea GameFly HellNoCancerShow.com | FaceBook | Twitter | Instagram
Bonni and I respond to questions from the Coaching for Leaders community on how to handle difficult conversations and more. Guest: Bonni Stachowiak Teaching in Higher Ed Question from Leonardo I´m one of your fans, I listen your podcast every day and I see better results on my day job managing an emergency room in Brazilian Hospital. I'm a cardiologist and today I work as a manger also. I was listening the episode 143, about feedback, while I was driving to my job and I was thinking how difficult to me is receive a negative feedback. I think that what struggle in this situation is emotion and controlling the emotion to respond or give some excuse for that negative perception. When I give any feedback to my employees I saw this same problem. How do I train myself to be better on that? Episode #143: Accepting Feedback With Sheila Heen of Difficult Conversations Episode #107: Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback with Tom Henschel Lets Get Real Or Let's Not Play by Mahan Khalsa* Question from Dow Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen* The Dale Carnegie Course How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie* Positive Coaching by Jim Thompson* Question from Nathan I am not currently in a "leadership" position but I feel that I am being called to leadership and feel that leadership and coaching is something that I would enjoy long term. I wanted to ask what recommendations you would have to really start moving in this direction and to start developing those skills. I've been trying to read books and listen to podcast to get some insight but haven't really had the opportunity to hone these skills. I am looking at going to toastmasters to get some experience/training in public speaking to get started working on something I don't feel I'm strong in. Do you have any recommendations of things like Toastmasters that I can check out or any suggestions on steps I could take to improve my leadership and coaching skills? Toastmasters Junior Chamber International (Jaycees) Feedback Join the conversation: http://coachingforleaders.com/161 Comments, questions, or feedback for future Q&A shows: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback Next Q&A show is episode #165 on Networking Thank you to weekly update subscribers Jane Stachowiak, Melissa Minneci, Nick Smith, Adam Trainque, Jared Weikum, Guto Nicolazzi, Susan Smith, Federico De Obeso, Eduardo Mifano, John Mihalyo, Neil, Marcus Wallace, Adriana Ramirez, Tim Hill, Richard Carter, Clayton Dumcum, Jared Gonzalez, M. Key, Chris Bazille, Aaron Saray, Scott Bray, Chris Bean, Carina Costa, Shaun Ng, Rodney Freeman, Dow Tippett, Tom Kennedy, Kevin Lease, Jennifer Hammonds, David Kane, Francisco Prezoto, Marcia Roberts, Sharon Sauro, and Jennifer Mueller. Receive the 10 Leadership Books That Will Help You Get Better Results From Others, including 2 books that I rely on weekly. You can subscribe at http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe Thank you also to David Wissore for leaving a written review on Stitcher and Eve Oliveira for leaving a written review on iTunes. If you've been listening to this show for a bit and feel like you can provide an honest review, kindly visit iTunes or Stitcher and leave a written review for the show. Thank you in advance!
Bonni and I respond to questions from the Coaching for Leaders community on how to handle difficult conversations and more. Guest: Bonni Stachowiak Teaching in Higher Ed Question from Leonardo I´m one of your fans, I listen your podcast every day and I see better results on my day job managing an emergency room in Brazilian Hospital. I'm a cardiologist and today I work as a manger also. I was listening the episode 143, about feedback, while I was driving to my job and I was thinking how difficult to me is receive a negative feedback. I think that what struggle in this situation is emotion and controlling the emotion to respond or give some excuse for that negative perception. When I give any feedback to my employees I saw this same problem. How do I train myself to be better on that? Episode #143: Accepting Feedback With Sheila Heen of Difficult Conversations Episode #107: Three Steps To Soliciting Feedback with Tom Henschel Lets Get Real Or Let's Not Play by Mahan Khalsa* Question from Dow Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen* The Dale Carnegie Course How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie* Positive Coaching by Jim Thompson* Question from Nathan I am not currently in a "leadership" position but I feel that I am being called to leadership and feel that leadership and coaching is something that I would enjoy long term. I wanted to ask what recommendations you would have to really start moving in this direction and to start developing those skills. I've been trying to read books and listen to podcast to get some insight but haven't really had the opportunity to hone these skills. I am looking at going to toastmasters to get some experience/training in public speaking to get started working on something I don't feel I'm strong in. Do you have any recommendations of things like Toastmasters that I can check out or any suggestions on steps I could take to improve my leadership and coaching skills? Toastmasters Junior Chamber International (Jaycees) Feedback Join the conversation: http://coachingforleaders.com/161 Comments, questions, or feedback for future Q&A shows: http://coachingforleaders.com/feedback Next Q&A show is episode #165 on Networking Thank you to weekly update subscribers Jane Stachowiak, Melissa Minneci, Nick Smith, Adam Trainque, Jared Weikum, Guto Nicolazzi, Susan Smith, Federico De Obeso, Eduardo Mifano, John Mihalyo, Neil, Marcus Wallace, Adriana Ramirez, Tim Hill, Richard Carter, Clayton Dumcum, Jared Gonzalez, M. Key, Chris Bazille, Aaron Saray, Scott Bray, Chris Bean, Carina Costa, Shaun Ng, Rodney Freeman, Dow Tippett, Tom Kennedy, Kevin Lease, Jennifer Hammonds, David Kane, Francisco Prezoto, Marcia Roberts, Sharon Sauro, and Jennifer Mueller. Receive the 10 Leadership Books That Will Help You Get Better Results From Others, including 2 books that I rely on weekly. You can subscribe at http://coachingforleaders.com/subscribe Thank you also to David Wissore for leaving a written review on Stitcher and Eve Oliveira for leaving a written review on iTunes. If you've been listening to this show for a bit and feel like you can provide an honest review, kindly visit iTunes or Stitcher and leave a written review for the show. Thank you in advance!