Millennials at the Movies

We're ending pride month with a reminder that, gay or straight, we're all the same - awful at interpersonal relationships. Enter 1999's Trick! What's the worst possible date you can take a potential hookup on? How many red flags does it take for two incompatible strangers to stop forcing a connection? Como te gusta mi beer can? Find out all that and more this episode!

For our second movie of Pride month, just Ami and Novi are here to answer all of your deepest questions about 2017's Just Charlie - and for once, it answers some of our questions right back! How many ribbons does it take to turn boys shoes into girls shoes? How many cups of tea does it take to forgive your partner for emotionally abusing your children? How many unforgivable violent acts can become completely consequence free by the power of an abrupt scene change? Find out all that and more this episode!

Today we're kicking off Pride month by answering all of your hidden, repressed questions about 2004's Saving Face. How much soy sauce should an expectant mother eat? Is it possible to end a conversation without getting a phone call? What blend of adaptogenic herbs stops your son from impregnating a woman twice his age? Is dating your father's protege still considered daddy issues if you're a lesbian? Find out all that and more this episode!

Today we’re doing a supercut of our most “just okay” questions about 2019’s Someone Great. Is the day your two best friends break up with their significant others really the proper anniversary for your first love confession? How doofy does your boyfriend have to be before cheating on him with a slimebag becomes acceptable? How amazing do a woman’s teeth have to be to convince a man to try a long distance relationship? Find out all that and more this episode!

Don’t fear, copperheads - today we’re celebrating Ami’s birthday with a classic case of “Thanks, I Hate It” - Dead 7. Will Vaquero ever give Whiskey Joe just one night - una noche? Will Jack quit playing games with Billy’s heart? Did Johnny Vermillion drive himself crazy thinking of Apocalypta? Is Trixie the star of Komodo’s liquid dreams? Does this stand alone as a horror film better than the Backstreet’s Back music video? Find out all that and more this episode!

Avast, ye scurvy dogs! It’s time to carve up your nicest ham, play your jauntiest sea shanty, and share a cuddle with your favorite Polly - because today we’re talking about 2012’s Pirates! Band of Misfits! What’s the preferred cooking method when planning to eat a beloved family pet? Is piracy really a necessary requirement to be Pirate of the Year? Can Charles Darwin’s progeny still sue for defamation? Find out all that and more this episode!

Oh, Snaps! Today we’re answering all of your darkest questions about a cult classic nobody’s ever seen - 1991’s Oscar! How many pairs of used undies does it take to bribe an employee to marry your teenage daughter? What’s the most convoluted way to throw away $100,000 of embezzled money? Can a group of mobsters end up being the least crooked people in the entire film? Find out all that and more this episode.

After the Ball - There’s nothing like a good Cinderella story - except, of course, for the 900 other Cinderella knockoffs. Today, we’re reviewing 2015’s Mulan/Cinderella hybrid, After The Ball. Is the receptionist the only real hero of the entire film? Were the villains really bad people, or just misunderstood women trying to get what they’re owed? How attractive does one have to be to get away with the worst date request of all time? Find out all that and more this episode!

Today, we’re finishing up our bonus series and answering all of your creepiest questions about 2019’s It Chapter Two. Which character has the dumbest plan in the entire series? Which Neibolt kid most deserves their own Funko Pop? Did Henry Bowers somehow become the most likeable adult in Derry? Do electrocuted people really taste like fried chicken? Is Ben a misunderstood poet, or just a simp? Find out all that and more this episode!

Happy Valentine’s Day, listeners! No celebration of love would be complete without a little Burt Bacharach and some gold old fashioned high school desperation - so we’re answering all of your burning questions about 2001’s Get Over It. How unlikeable does the protagonist of a romcom have to be for you to actively hope they end up alone? How long can you lead someone on before you deserve an arrow to the arm? How big of a crush would make you call your theater teacher your special buddy? Find out all that and more this episode!

Dude! Today we’ve got a very special treat for you - our shibby of 2000’s Dude, Where’s My Car?! How many scrapes can you get out of with nothing but dumb luck and an oddly specific memory of Animal Planet? What’s the most inane, dangerous item you could possibly disguise your continuum transfunctioner as? How perilous must things be before a teenage boy rejects pleasure from five alien supermodels? Does this movie hold up now that we’re not edgy teenagers anymore? Find out all that and more this episode!

Today we’re here to answer all of your creepiest questions about 2017’s It: Chapter 1! Is it possible to create an entire film out of explicit language and jumpscares? Which is scarier - Pennywise the Dancing Clown, or Bill Skarsgard’s portrayal? How funny can a horror movie be before it veers into horror/comedy territory? Find out all that and more this episode!

Jello, listeners! Jow ere you? We’re stoked, because today we get to review a movie based on one of our hosts’ favorite books - and I’m SURE it’ll live up to the quality. Today we’re doing 1998’s Sphere. Can this movie survive without Samuel L Jackson? Is adding a love story awful, lazy, or inspired? How many astrophysicists does it take to accidentally sit on a trash can? Find out all that and more this episode!

It’s Novi’s birthday, and to celebrate, we’re all gonna hang… 2ge+her! (You’re the ones WE treasure). Throw out your textbooks, because this podcast will teach you all of the math you need to know! What is the mathematic process for deciding how much money is in a buttload? Is there any logical basis for the formula U + ME = US? If a band is going to contain five members, why NOT call them 5ge+her? Find out all that and more this episode! (RIP Michael Cuccione) (Intro song, "Happy Birthday," by The Click Five)

Hiya, listeners! Today we’re exploring every nightmare you’ve ever had - including bad 90s mustaches - in our review of 1990’s Stephen King’s It. How scary can a made-for-tv movie from 31 years ago really BE? How cheesy can a horror movie be before it circles back around into funny? Is Bozo the Clown inherently frightening? Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Find out all that and more this episode!

What are you doing New Years Eve? We’re here, answering all of your deepest questions about 2006’s The Holiday! Are there any problems NOT solved by spending the night with a hot guy? Has anyone on earth ever suffered as strongly as Iris has suffered? What’s the matter with Graham’s package? Find out all that and more this episode!

Merry Christmas, folks! Today we’re spending the holidays sharing two of our favorite Christmas themed specials - A Very Supernatural Christmas, and Santabear’s High Flying Adventure! How many demons can you encounter before skepticism becomes ridiculous? How bad could Santa outsourcing his labor to animal companions possibly turn out? Is Santa Claus malicious, hungry, or just dumb? Find out all that and more this episode! Timestamps: Supernatural - 00:33 Santabear's High Flying Adventure - 49:30

Hello, muffins! Today we’re talking about everyone’s second-favorite Muppet holiday film, It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie! When did Matthew Lilard join Monty Python? How much can one beloved muppet tarnish their character in one 100 minute film? Will Pepe be loyal to the Muppet brand when he realizes he’s an indentured servant? How many uncomfortable accents can one introvert make in one podcast? Find out all that and more this episode!

Don’t miss our recap of Bill Murray’s Scrooged - your life might just depend on it! Is subtlety in acting overrated? Can a character named Claire make it through a whole movie without us turning on her? How much do you need to trust a lover before you buy her knives? Find out all that and more this episode!

Holy Smokes! It’s our review of 1992’s Home Alone 2: Lost in New York! Is being sticky better than being wet? Were these traps funny, or just plain cruel? How many more movies will it take for someone to call CPS on these negligent parents? Are sequels ALWAYS worse? Find out all that and more this episode.

Do you guys give up on this podcast yet, or are you thirsty for more? Stick around today as we answer all of your dumbest questions about 1990’s Home Alone. Do churches have the magical power to ward off evil humans? Who wins every adult in this movie’s race to the bottom? How much torture does it take two small-time crooks before they’re willing to murder a petulant kindergartener? Find out all that and more this episode!

Do you love Thanksgiving as much as Bob and I do? If so, then you’re in for a real treat! You can listen to our review of Season 5, Episode 4, “Dawn of the Peck,” as well as our review of the movie with a killer turkey, Thankskilling, all in today’s episode. Time stamps: Bob’s Burgers - 00:47 Thankskilling - 31:30 Gobble Gobble, mothercluckers! Today we’re celebrating the spirit of Thanksgiving with back-to-back reviews of ThanksKilling and Bob’s Burgers episode Dawn of the Peck - and in both, the poultry fights back! Does Bob finally end his emotional affair with Turkey Baster? How bad must a movie be before it circles back to entertaining? Would Turkie have been taken down quicker if he’d been taught to respect the pecking order? Find out all that and more this episode!

Marvelous news! We’re going to review 1993’s Addams Family Values. Right now. Is a bomb an appropriate gift for a three week anniversary? How elaborate does a plot to murder an infant have to be for it to actually work? Is Thing sentient enough to consent to a romantic relationship with Fester? How do you properly care for a child suffering from Cute Baby Disease? Find out all that and more this episode!

Today we’re dressing up like mermaids and diving deep into 2017’s Freak Show. Is Billy a visionary, or just a whiny emo rich kid? How does Jesus decide who gets his vote for homecoming queen? What’s the dumbest seed to name your child after? And do we even remember to talk about the iconic last supper imagery? Find out all that and more this episode!

They’re creepy and they’re kooky - and we could think of no better way to wrap up the Halloween season than with 1991’s The Addams Family! How old must a child be before they know to aim for major arteries with their swords? How would one go about making love to a conjoined twin? And how on Earth did we all grow up thinking this was a kid-friendly movie?! Find out all that and more this episode!

Kwan-tsu, dudes! Today, we’ll be covering all of the heavy questions (and life lessons) we learned from 1993’s Surf Ninjas! How often should you swallow a “just in case” handcuff key? How do you get a knife now that money can’t buy them? Is kidnapping okay so long as the children are actually foreign royalty? And what does Kwan-tsu MEAN, anyway? Find out all that and more this episode!

All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up! Today we’re talking about Army of Darkness, so pay attention! How many ancient Sumarian incantations contain the word “noodle”? Will Ash EVER learn to properly dismember a living corpse? Which ending is the most true to Ash? And how many more girls in the Evil Dead franchise can have interchangeable SH-names? Find out all that and more this episode!

Shh! Listen - this is your host’s voice! And today, we’re answering all of your craziest questions about 1987’s Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn. Is this a comedy horror classic, or one of the scariest psychological thrillers of all time? Is Ash’s right hand a more fully realized character than Ed? Is there a person in this franchise even stronger than Ash? Find out all that and more this episode!

Hey, Fake Shemps! Today we’re answering all of your deepest darkest questions about 1981’s The Evil Dead! Are these the dumbest horror movie protagonists of all time? How much money does it cost to transform your character from zero to hero? How many gallons of gratuitous gore are TOO many? Find out all that and more this episode!

Is newer really better? Find out today as we answer all of your deepest (and most confusing) questions about 2019’s Terminator: Dark Fate. Is Legion a worthy replacement for Skynet? How is Skynet still sending Terminator robots back in time from a future that no longer exists? Is Dani as compelling a character as John Connor was? And why on EARTH would you make the T-800 a fabric salesman? Find out all that and more as we wrap up the Terminator series!

This week, revisit the most awkward parts of the high school experience with us, as we answer all of your questions about 2018’s Alex Strangelove! Does Alex’s sexual identity crisis get upstaged by his girlfriend and all of his friends? At what point does a good trip become a bad trip? What steps should you take to make sure your parents don’t hear you making sweet love to a stuffed animal? Find out all that and more this episode!

Ever want to see the kind of leader John Connor grew into? Get cured of that with us today, as we deep dive into 2015’s Terminator: Genisys. Are the retreads of past canon clever, or just disappointing? Does Sarah and Kyle’s romance hold up better now than it did in T1? How little action can a movie have and still technically be called an “action movie”? Find out all that and more this episode!

People who don’t like 1999’s Mystery Men make us FURIOUS! If you don’t learn to master your rage, WILL your rage become your master? Who would ever want to rent a chicken? Is this the most Early 2000s movie of all time? We’ll cover all that and more this episode - so are you going to listen? Or are we going to eat this sandwich?

Have the other Terminator movies been too hopeful for you? Join us in the post-apocalyptic wasteland of 2009’s Terminator Salvation! Was this Skynet’s most brilliant attempt ever, or its most convoluted? Which character makes the dumbest decision in the movie? And does a good Terminator film really NEED Arnold Schwartzenegger? Find out all that and more this episode!

Everybody get ready to feel extremely whelmed, because today we’ll be dissecting 1999’s 10 Things I Hate About You! How dope should a boy’s ride be before you go out and get jiggy with him? Which of the sisters’ relationships would last the longest post-movie? Will Kat ever be able to really trust Patrick again? And, really, ARE there sheep? Find out all that and more this episode!

On today’s very special bonus episode, we’re going to be watching the first installment of John and Kate Plus Fate - also known as 2003’s Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Did the first female Terminator measure up to the previous two villains? Was this gritty take on John Connor an improvement? Is Kate an asset to the film, or our first choice to go in a future retcon? Find out all that and more this episode!

Hi, listeners! Did you hear about Hugo and Kim? Well, you will now, because today we’re getting into 1995’s remake of Bye Bye Birdie! Did Albert ever really deserve Rose? Is Conrad Birdie the villain of this movie, or a maligned future veteran? Is Mae manipulative, crazy, or just a show-stealing villain? Find out all that and more this episode!

Join us in the uncanny valley this week as we discuss all of the biggest questions you’ve been left with since 1991’s Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Does Sarah become the very Terminator she’s trying to fight? Is the T-1000 gaining sentience? And how sexy is TOO sexy for an action movie heroine? Find out all that and more this episode - and we’ll be back next time for T3!

Have a box of tissues ready, because today we’re diving deep into 2012’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Is the relationship between Charlie and Sam adorable, or creepy? Is Charlie a reliable narrator of his own story? How many fluff movies will you need to watch before you’re capable of feeling happiness again? Find out all that and more this episode!

Come with us if you want to live - through our deep-dive into the entire Terminator movie series, that is! Today we’ll start by answering all of your burning questions about 1984’s The Terminator. How does time travel work? Do the special effects hold up after 36 years? Is the romance a necessary evil, emotionally moving, or just cheesy? Find out all that and more this episode!

Where can you go when the sky turns grey? To this week’s episode of our podcast, of course! Join us in Smoochy’s magic jungle to chat about 2002’s black comedy Death to Smoochy. Is Randolph sympathetic, or just a psycho? What is the proper etiquette when attempting to shoot someone with their own gun? Find out all that and more this episode!

Hey, dudes! Today’s radical review is of 2000’s An Extremely Goofy Movie! Join us as Goofy has one manic depressive episode after another over his wasted youth and grown adult son! Is this movie the most complex and underrated parody of all time? Has the X Games ever been quite so uncool before? Find out all that and more this episode!

Grab a virgin mary (or a vodka on the rocks - we won’t judge) and settle in for a good one! Today we’re chatting about First Wives Club from 1996. Did any of the husbands deserve a second chance? Which wife’s revenge scheme was the most illegal? How wrong can two 30-somethings be about the origins of one iconic song? Find out all that and more this episode!

Warm up a steaming cup of Hi Dad soup and settle in for some nostalgia! Today’s bonus episode is 1995’s A Goofy Movie. Is Goofy an unfit father? Is the Perfect Cast really the best dance move in this film? How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon? Find out all that and more this episode - and keep an eye out for our take on An Extremely Goofy Movie, coming soon!

Ready to stop rehashing what you did in college? Join us in rehashing what the characters of 1997’s I Think I Do did instead! Are Bob and Brendan a match made in heaven, or just a bad rerun? Are Eric and Beth the start of something new, or the end of something old? How many years will it take for Matt and Carol to get divorced? And does anyone really like Sarah? Find out all that and more this episode!

Thank you for wiggling! Today we’re talking out all of the big questions from 2012’s A Bag of Hammers - and the answer to most of them is NOT Ultimate Warrior. Do car thieves make good parents? Is Lynette mentally ill, or just a bad mom? And what is WITH that freaking firetruck? Find out all that and more this episode!

Break out the dandruff shampoo, because today we’re answering all the burning Evolution questions you’ve had since 2001! Does the “science” hold up? What are the best creatures in this film (aside from Seann William Scott)? IS there always time for lubricant? Find out all that and more this episode.

Join us for some Big Fun this week as we hash out the Heathers questions you’ve been pondering since 1989. Which Heather is the worst Heather? Should you give the TV reboot or musical a shot? Is Veronica going to prom or to hell? Find out all that and more this episode - BYO corn nuts.

Here we come, baby je t’adore, to answer the deep Empire Records questions you’ve been pondering since 1995. Is Rex Manning evil, or just misunderstood? Is AJ nice, or “nice”? Who’s the best crier in the cast? And what IS with today today? Find out all that and more this episode!

Who are these millennials at the movies? What movies are they at, and why should you care? Get to know us, hear about our show, and find out where you can yell at us about our movie choices here!