The Codependent Doctor

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Podcast focusing on codependency. Learning how to create healthier relationships, healthier self and healthier lives.

Dr. Angela Downey


    • Jun 2, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekdays NEW EPISODES
    • 22m AVG DURATION
    • 49 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Codependent Doctor

    48: Friendship or Relationship? Understanding Emotional Intimacy and Codependency

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2025 27:34 Transcription Available


    Codependency doesn't just affect romantic relationships—it can appear in our friendships too, creating anxiety, over-functioning, and emotional entanglement that feels just as intense without the relationship label. Emotional intimacy is emotional intimacy, regardless of whether it's with a friend or partner, and our attachment patterns don't discriminate.• Friendships lack the clear definitions and expectations that romantic relationships have—there's no "define the relationship" talk or breakup script• Unspoken friendship rules create confusion, especially for those with codependent tendencies who overfunction to maintain connections• Friendship grief is just as valid as romantic heartbreak, though society rarely acknowledges it in the same way• Jealousy and fear can emerge when friends develop new relationships or life changes, triggering abandonment wounds• Notice which friendships feel genuinely safe versus which ones just feel familiar due to shared historySend me a messageI am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

    47: Codependency & Mental Health: How People-Pleasing, Guilt, and Burnout Are All Connected

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2025 14:26 Transcription Available


    Mental health and codependency intersect in profound ways that affect how we treat ourselves, not just our relationships with others. We explore four key patterns that keep us stuck in cycles of burnout, guilt, and emotional exhaustion while providing practical steps toward healing.We will explore how:• People-pleasing isn't just politeness but a nervous system survival response developed in childhood• Self-abandonment occurs when we consistently put others first regardless of the cost to ourselves• Chronic guilt and shame keep us stuck in patterns of overgiving even when it's harming our wellbeing• Emotional over-responsibility leads to burnout when we take ownership of others' feelings and problemsWhether you're deep into your healing journey or just beginning to wonder why you're so tired all the time, this episode offers both validation and practical steps forward. Because you don't need to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm. Send me a messageI am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

    46: Five Truths I Wish Everyone Knew About Maintaining Good Mental Health

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2025 16:35 Transcription Available


    In this bonus episode for Mental Health Awareness Month, Dr. Angela Downey shares five powerful mindset shifts that challenge how we think about healing and self-care:Healing isn't linear — Growth often looks messy, not perfect.You can struggle and still be strong — Vulnerability is courage, not weakness.Feeling your feelings isn't weakness — Emotions are messengers, not problems to fix.Rest is productive — You don't need to earn your downtime.Boundaries protect your peace — Limits aren't selfish, they're essential.This episode is for anyone navigating burnout, people-pleasing, codependency, or just feeling overwhelmed by mental health advice that doesn't reflect real life.Send me a messageI am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

    45: Emotional Neglect: The Hidden Wound Behind Codependency

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2025 29:47 Transcription Available


    The quietest form of trauma often leaves the deepest marks. If you've always been "the strong one," the helper, or the person who never rocks the boat, this episode on emotional neglect might explain why you still struggle with relationships as an adult.Emotional neglect isn't defined by dramatic incidents but rather by what didn't happen in your childhood. Your basic needs may have been met, but when you experienced difficult emotions, no one helped you name them or comfort you through them. Those experiences taught you that your feelings were inconvenient, that you were inconvenient when you had needs – setting the perfect foundation for codependency.When your emotional blueprint was built on the belief that love had to be earned by being easy, helpful, or low maintenance, it's no wonder you might find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable people. That familiar feeling of longing, of waiting for someone to finally choose you, isn't just chemistry – it's your nervous system trying to resolve old wounds through repetition compulsion.The most damaging side effect of emotional neglect is the quiet belief that you were somehow the problem – that if you had just been better, quieter, or less emotional, someone would have loved you properly. This hidden narrative drives perfectionism, people-pleasing, and the exhausting cycle of trying to earn love that should have been freely given.Healing begins when you recognize that you were never too much; you were simply not given enough.What would change if you stopped trying to be chosen and started choosing yourself? The answer might just be everything.Send me a messageI am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

    44: High-Functioning But Struggling: The Hidden Signs of Mental Burnout

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2025 9:45 Transcription Available


    Ever caught yourself saying "it's not that bad" when you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or simply not yourself? That seemingly innocent phrase carries enormous weight, subtly convincing us to minimize our struggles and postpone getting the support we truly need.This Mental Health Awareness Month bonus episode tackles high-functioning distress—that space where you're managing responsibilities, showing up for others, and appearing put-together while feeling completely drained inside. Through personal stories and gentle insights, Dr. Angela Downey reveals how functioning doesn't equal thriving, and why waiting until we're at our breaking point to seek help robs us of preventative care that could change everything.The episode explores why codependents, people pleasers, and overachievers are particularly susceptible to downplaying their mental health needs. Dr. Downey shares a powerful personal experience of receiving a spa day gift only to discover her nervous system had forgotten how to relax—a wake-up call that being "fine" on paper doesn't mean you're well. She challenges the false dichotomy that suggests we can't be both grateful and struggling simultaneously, offering a more compassionate framework for validating our experiences.Most importantly, this episode reframes mental health support as preventative rather than reactive. Just as we wouldn't wait for a cavity before brushing our teeth or an engine failure before changing our oil, we shouldn't postpone mental healthcare until we're in crisis. Whether you're the family rock, the eternal caregiver, or the high-achieving perfectionist, you deserve support before everything crumbles. Small steps count—booking a therapy consult, admitting to a friend you're struggling, or simply acknowledging to yourself that you're not okay right now. BecaSend me a messageI am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

    43: From Love Bomb to Heartbreak: Understanding Toxic Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 30:51 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I dive deep into the phenomenon of love bombing—a term I only discovered a few years ago, despite having experienced it firsthand. We explore what love bombing really is: an overwhelming display of affection, attention, and promises that can feel intoxicating but often masks emotional manipulation.I share my personal experiences, including a time when I rushed a relationship by introducing someone to my entire family after just one date, highlighting how easy it is to mistake intense feelings for genuine connection. We discuss the psychological and biological factors that make love bombing so effective, especially for those of us with unmet emotional needs or past traumas.Throughout the episode, I provide listeners with practical tools to identify red flags of love bombing, such as feeling overwhelmed, noticing inconsistencies between words and actions, and experiencing pressure to reciprocate intensity. I emphasize the importance of trusting your gut and recognizing that healthy love unfolds over time, respecting boundaries and individual needs.By the end of the episode, I hope to empower you with the knowledge to protect your heart and foster healthier relationships. Remember, love bombing is not true love; it's intensity in disguise. Join me next week as we tackle the topic of neglect. Thank you for listening, and take care of yourselves!Send me a messageI am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.

    42: Six Tiny Mindset Shifts That Changed My Mental Health

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2025 13:57 Transcription Available


    We often think mental health transformation requires dramatic life changes, but what if the most powerful shifts happen through tiny, consistent habits? That's exactly what I discovered through my own journey of healing from codependency and burnout.In this intimate bonus episode for Mental Health Awareness Month, I share six small mindset shifts that fundamentally changed my relationship with myself and others. From learning to pause before automatically saying "yes" to embracing rest without guilt, these practices aren't revolutionary—they're accessible, everyday tools anyone can implement without feeling overwhelmed.My journey began with noticing how harshly I spoke to myself—words I'd never direct at someone I loved. When my daughter pointed this out, it sparked a gradual transformation in my self-talk. Similarly, I had to slowly rewrite deep-seated negative beliefs about myself, not by forcing positivity but by finding authentic stepping stones toward self-acceptance. Even something as simple as noting one small moment of gratitude each day has softened how I experience difficult times.Perhaps most powerful for someone with codependent tendencies was learning that boundaries don't need grand announcements—sometimes they're as quiet as not immediately responding to a message or leaving a gathering when your energy depletes. These small acts of self-protection have helped my nervous system finally exhale.The beautiful thing about these practices is that you don't need to master them all at once. Mental health isn't about perfection; it's about showing up for yourself in real, everyday ways. If something here resonates, try incorporating just one tiny shift. Your healing journey doesn't need to be dramatic to be profound—sometimes it starts with just one small habit.Send me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon.

    41: When they Stop Talking: The Emotional Toll of the Silent Treatment

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2025 27:45 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the painful experience of the silent treatment—what it is, why people use it, and how it can deeply affect relationships. I share my own experiences with the silent treatment and highlight how it can trigger feelings of confusion, shame, and anxiety, especially for those who have grown up in environments where silence was used as a form of punishment.We explore the underlying reasons why individuals resort to the silent treatment, including a desire for control, emotional immaturity, and learned behaviors from childhood. I emphasize that this form of emotional withdrawal is not just hurtful in the moment but can leave lasting scars, eroding trust and emotional intimacy in relationships.I also discuss the difference between healthy communication and the silent treatment, stressing the importance of expressing feelings rather than withdrawing. For those who find themselves on the receiving end, I encourage listeners to recognize their worth and set boundaries, while also considering the patterns they are willing to accept in their relationships.As we wrap up, I offer reflection exercises to help listeners examine their own communication styles and conflict resolution strategies. Remember, it's about growth and learning healthier ways to handle conflict without resorting to silence as a weapon. Join me next week as we tackle the topic of love bombing and what to watch out for in relationships. Thank you for being part of this journey towards healthier connections!Send me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon. If you're interested in a list of books that I recommend to help you on your journey you can request it by clicking on the link in my show notes.

    40: The Everyday Practice of Mental Wellness: Beyond Diagnosis

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2025 10:38 Transcription Available


    What does it really mean to take care of our mental health? Beyond diagnoses and therapy sessions lies the everyday work of nurturing our emotional well-being—a practice we often overlook until we're approaching burnout.During Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to share some hard-won insights about what mental wellness actually looks like in our daily lives. Through a recent experience where my brain immediately jumped to worst-case scenarios about a simple meeting with my boss, I demonstrate how even when we're doing well, our mental health requires ongoing attention. That primitive "lizard brain" response doesn't disappear; we simply get better at recognizing and managing it before spiraling.For those of us with codependent tendencies, this journey presents unique challenges. When you're accustomed to prioritizing everyone else's needs, simply asking yourself "what do I need today?" can feel foreign or selfish. Yet that question has transformed from feeling indulgent to essential in my own healing journey. Mental health isn't about fixing something broken—it's about consistent, compassionate self-care through small daily acts: saying no without over-explaining, allowing yourself to rest before exhaustion forces you to stop, or taking five minutes to breathe when overwhelmed.The myth that strength means never needing support has caused untold damage. True strength lies in vulnerability—in acknowledging when you can't do it all alone. You don't need to wait for a crisis to deserve attention to your mental well-being. Like tending a garden, the small acts of care you provide yourself today create the foundation for resilience tomorrow. This Mental Health Awareness Month, I invite you to join me in normalizing everyday mental health practices. You are worth that care.Send me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon.

    39: Losing Yourself in a Role: How to Find Your Identity Beyond Your Job Title or Being ‘The Mom'

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 22:53 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the concept of losing ourselves in the roles we play, whether as a professional, a parent, or a caregiver. Many of us tie our self-worth to our titles and responsibilities, often without realizing it, leading to feelings of being stuck, lost, or drained. I share my personal journey of how I identified too closely with my role as a doctor, to the point where I struggled to articulate who I was beyond that title.We explore the societal pressures that encourage us to define ourselves by our achievements and productivity, often at the expense of our true selves. I discuss the risks of this mindset, including burnout, fear of change, and the slow loss of personal identity.To help listeners reconnect with their authentic selves, I offer practical steps, such as spending time alone, revisiting old hobbies, and asking reflective questions about joy and identity. I encourage everyone to introduce themselves in ways that reflect their passions rather than their roles, and to embrace the complexity of being more than just a title.As I wrap up, I share my excitement about my upcoming book, Enough As I Am, which focuses on self-acceptance and personal growth. I invite listeners to engage with journal exercises that promote self-discovery. Remember, you are enough just as you are, and it's time to reclaim your authentic self.Send me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon.

    38: The Loneliness Of Healing: Why Growth Feels So Isolating At First

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 16:29 Transcription Available


     In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the often-overlooked aspect of healing: the loneliness that can accompany personal growth. While healing is frequently portrayed as a beautiful and empowering journey, it can also feel isolating, especially when you start setting boundaries and stepping away from toxic patterns.I discuss how this loneliness is not a sign of failure but rather a natural part of the healing process. As you begin to prioritize yourself and your needs, you may notice shifts in your relationships, with some people drifting away as you no longer fulfill the roles they relied on. This can feel disorienting and even painful, but it's essential to recognize that you are making space for healthier connections.Throughout the episode, I encourage listeners to embrace the quiet moments that come with this transition. Instead of rushing to fill the void, I suggest taking time to reconnect with yourself, exploring old hobbies, and allowing yourself to be curious and playful. I also emphasize the importance of seeking safe support during this time, whether through therapy, support groups, or online communities.Ultimately, I remind you that loneliness is not a punishment but a doorway to deeper self-discovery and more authentic relationships. As you navigate this journey, remember that you are not alone, and the space you are creating will lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life.Send me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon.

    37: Reclaim Your Power: How to Recognize and Release the Victim Mindset

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2025 31:57 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the complex and often misunderstood concept of "victim mode." As a family doctor and fellow codependent, I understand that many of us have experienced feelings of powerlessness, especially after trauma, burnout, or in the context of codependency. This episode is designed to foster compassion and self-awareness, rather than judgment, as we explore how victim mode manifests in our lives and how we can begin to shift out of it.I start by defining victim mode as a mindset where individuals feel as though life is constantly happening to them, leading to a sense of helplessness and resentment. This mindset can stem from real experiences of trauma, emotional neglect, or feeling unheard, and it often results in a long-term identity that can be difficult to break free from. I emphasize that while many listeners may have valid reasons for their pain, it's crucial to recognize when that pain transforms into a belief that nothing will ever change.Throughout the episode, I highlight the signs of being stuck in victim mode, such as feeling like nothing works out, blaming others for our circumstances, and retelling painful stories that define our identities. I encourage listeners to approach these signs with curiosity rather than shame, recognizing that they are often survival strategies learned in response to past experiences.I also discuss how victim mode can impact our relationships, leading to feelings of being taken advantage of, expecting others to read our minds, and avoiding direct communication. These patterns can create a cycle of disconnection and disappointment, even when those around us are not intentionally trying to hurt us.As we move into the healing portion of the episode, I share practical steps for shifting out of victim mode. I emphasize the importance of acknowledging our experiences without shame and encourage listeners to ask themselves, "What is still in my control?" This question can help reclaim a sense of agency in situations where we may feel powerless.I introduce the concept of "tiny acts of power," which are small, everyday decisions that reinforce our ability to choose and assert our needs. Examples include saying no without over-explaining, asking for help without apologizing, and prioritizing our own comfort. These actions, while seemingly minor, can significantly impact our sense of self and empowerment.FinSend me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon. If you're interested in a list of books that I recommend to help you on your journey you can request it by clicking on the link in my show notes.

    36: Understanding Burnout: Recognizing the Signs and Taking Action

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2025 26:47 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I dive deep into the topic of burnout, a personal experience that has significantly shaped my life and career. Burnout is more than just feeling tired; it's a profound exhaustion that affects our body, mind, and emotions, often creeping up on us until we hit a breaking point. I share my own struggles with burnout, including moments of emotional outbursts and the toll it took on my health and relationships.We explore the three key dimensions of burnout as defined by psychologist Christina Maslach: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal accomplishment. I discuss how burnout manifests in various areas of life, from work to personal relationships, and the signs to look out for, including physical symptoms like chronic fatigue and emotional signs like irritability and detachment.I emphasize the importance of recognizing burnout as a signal that something needs to change, rather than a personal failure. Recovery requires intentional steps, including prioritizing rest, setting boundaries, and building a support system. I encourage listeners to reflect on their own experiences with burnout and to consider what changes they can make to foster a healthier relationship with themselves.As we wrap up, I provide reflection exercises to help you identify your energy drains and explore ways to reclaim joy in your life. Remember, self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for preventing burnout and nurturing your well-being. Join me next week as we discuss being stuck in victim mode. Thank you for listening, and take care!Send me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon. If you're interested in a list of books that I recommend to help you on your journey you can request it by clicking on the link in my show notes.

    Jealousy and Envy: Shifting Your Mindset for Healthier Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2025 24:33 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the complex emotions of jealousy and envy—two feelings that many of us grapple with but often struggle to understand. As we explore these emotions, I aim to shed light on how they can impact our self-worth and relationships, particularly in the context of codependency.I begin by discussing the common experience of feeling jealous or envious, whether it's triggered by a friend's engagement or someone's apparent confidence. These emotions, while natural, can lead to feelings of insecurity, bitterness, and even resentment if left unchecked. I emphasize that jealousy and envy are not inherently bad; rather, they serve as signals that reveal our fears and values.To clarify the distinction between the two, I explain that jealousy is the fear of losing something we already possess, while envy is the desire for something someone else has. I provide relatable examples to illustrate how these emotions manifest in our lives, such as feeling threatened when a partner spends time with someone attractive (jealousy) or longing for a friend's relationship (envy).Throughout the episode, I highlight how these feelings can become particularly overwhelming in codependent relationships, where self-worth is often tied to external validation. I discuss various ways jealousy can manifest, including the fear of being replaced, the need for constant reassurance, controlling behaviors, and feelings of rejection over minor actions.I also address how envy can show up in our lives, often leading to comparisons that diminish our self-esteem. I encourage listeners to shift their mindset from comparison to inspiration, reminding them that everyone has their own unique journey.To help manage these emotions, I share practical strategies for shifting our perspectives. This includes recognizing and naming our feelings, practicing gratitude, challenging negative thoughts, and strengthening our sense of self. I emphasize that healing from jealousy and envy is a process, and while we may still experience these emotions, they don't have to control our lives.As we wrap up the episode, I invite listeners to reflect on their own experiences with jealousy and envy, encouraging them to journal about recent triggers and how they can reframe these feelings into something constructive. I also remind them that they are not alone in this journey and that fostering a better reSend me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon. If you're interested in a list of books that I recommend to help you on your journey you can request it by clicking on the link in my show notes.

    Living Authentically: Embracing Diversity in the LGBTQ Community

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2025 21:19 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the complexities of gender identity and the experiences of the LGBTQ+ community, particularly in the context of codependency. I begin by emphasizing the importance of acceptance and respect for all individuals, regardless of their differences. I share my unwavering support for the LGBTQ+ community and create a safe space for open dialogue.Throughout history, human diversity has existed, yet societal norms have often imposed rigid categories around gender and love. I discuss how these norms can lead to feelings of discomfort and resistance when faced with identities that challenge traditional beliefs. Drawing from my own experiences, I illustrate how societal expectations can dictate personal choices and the impact this has on mental health.I explore the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly regarding codependency, which can manifest as people-pleasing and difficulty setting boundaries. Many in the community have experienced rejection and discrimination, leading to deep-seated fears of abandonment. I highlight the importance of self-worth and the need to prioritize self-care, encouraging listeners to break free from codependent patterns.As I reflect on the current political climate, I express my concern for the increasing fear and discrimination faced by marginalized groups, particularly in the U.S. I examine how codependency and the need for control can contribute to resistance against those who challenge societal norms. I invite listeners to engage in self-reflection and to approach differences with curiosity and compassion.Ultimately, I remind everyone that we all seek to feel seen, valued, and free to be ourselves. By embracing diversity and allowing others to exist authentically, we can create a more vibrant and connected world. I encourage those struggling with their identity to know they are not alone and that their existence is valid. I conclude by inviting listeners to join me next week as we explore the themes of jealousy and envy. Thank you for tuning in!Send me a messageSubscribe to my newsletter for more information on when my new workbook, Enough As I Am, will be available on Amazon.

    Understanding the Connection Between Addiction and Mental Health

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2025 27:12 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the intricate relationship between addiction and mental health, emphasizing that addiction is often a coping mechanism for underlying issues such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and more. As we wrap up the fifth and final episode of my miniseries on addictions, I explore various co-occurring mental health conditions that frequently accompany addiction and how they can exacerbate each other.I discuss the importance of dual diagnosis treatment, which addresses both addiction and mental health simultaneously, providing individuals with the best chance for recovery. Throughout the episode, I highlight specific mental health disorders, including anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, OCD, and eating disorders, explaining how each can fuel addiction and complicate recovery.I share personal anecdotes and insights to illustrate the profound impact of trauma and emotional struggles on addiction. By recognizing the connections between these issues, I encourage listeners to seek help not just for addiction but also for the underlying mental health challenges that may be contributing to their struggles.As we conclude this miniseries, I invite feedback and suggestions for future topics, reminding everyone that recovery is a journey that involves healing deeper emotional wounds. Join me next week as we return to our regular episodes, focusing on setting boundaries and building healthier relationships, particularly within the transgender and LGBTQ+ communities. Thank you for listening, and remember, we can do this together!Send me a messageIf you're interested in a list of books that I recommend to help you on your journey you can request it by clicking on the link in my show notes.

    Addiction's Impact on Family: How to Set Boundaries & Heal

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2025 31:02 Transcription Available


     In this episode of The Codependent Doctor we delve into the often-overlooked impact of addiction on loved ones who are not the ones struggling with substance use. While previous episodes have focused on the individual battling addiction, today, I want to shine a light on the emotional turmoil faced by partners, family members, and friends who find their lives intertwined with someone else's addiction. I begin by acknowledging the pain, exhaustion, and overwhelming feelings that can arise when you love someone with an addiction. Many listeners may relate to the experience of feeling frustrated, hurt, or emotionally drained after years of trying to help or rescue their loved ones. I discuss the importance of recognizing that while we want to support those we care about, we must also prioritize our own emotional well-being. Throughout the episode, I address critical questions: How can you support a loved one struggling with addiction without losing yourself in the process? What boundaries should you set to protect your mental health? And what support systems are available for those affected by addiction? I emphasize that reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step toward healing. Many people feel isolated in their struggles, believing that they should be able to manage everything on their own. However, I remind listeners that they are not alone and that there are numerous support groups available, such as Al-Anon and Codependents Anonymous (CODA), which can provide guidance and community. As I share insights gathered from social media interactions with individuals affected by a loved one's addiction, I highlight common misconceptions that can keep loved ones stuck in unhealthy cycles. These include beliefs such as "If I love them enough, they will change," and "It's my fault that they use." I unpack these myths and provide the reality behind them, emphasizing that addiction is a complex disease that requires professional help and personal accountability.I also discuss the importance of setting boundaries, providing practical examples to help listeners understand how to protect their emotional well-being while still offering support. Boundaries around financial support, communication, behaviors in the home, and involvement in their loved one's problems are all crucial for maintaining a healthy dynamic. Finally, I outline various support groups available for family members and friends of those struggling with addiction, detailing their focus and how they can help. I encourage listeners to take Send us a textIf you're interested in a list of books that I recommend to help you on your journey you can request it by clicking on the link in my show notes.

    Exploring Alternative Paths to Addiction Recovery: Beyond 12-Step Programs

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2025 28:12 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I, Dr. Angela Downey, delve into the world of alternative addiction recovery programs, moving beyond the traditional 12-step approach that many are familiar with. Having previously explored the nature of addiction and the effectiveness of 12-step programs in our last two episodes, I recognize that recovery is not a one-size-fits-all journey. Today, I aim to highlight various paths to healing that cater to different needs and preferences.I begin by celebrating the courage of those who are willing to explore recovery options, whether they are newcomers or have previously tried other programs. I share my personal connection to the topic, drawing from my experiences in Codependence Anonymous and the journey of a close family member, whom I refer to as Jane. Jane's exploration of various recovery programs, including SMART Recovery, Refuge Recovery, and Dharma Recovery, has provided me with valuable insights into the diverse approaches available for those struggling with addiction.The episode features an in-depth look at SMART Recovery, which stands for Self-Management and Recovery Training. This program is designed for individuals seeking a practical, science-based approach to recovery that does not rely on spiritual or religious frameworks. I discuss the four key areas that SMART Recovery focuses on: building and maintaining motivation, coping with urges and cravings, managing thoughts and behaviors, and living a balanced, fulfilling life. Each area is explored with practical strategies and examples, emphasizing the program's empowering nature.Next, I introduce Refuge Recovery, a mindfulness-based program that adopts a Buddhist approach to healing from addiction. I explain how this program encourages self-awareness, meditation, and personal responsibility, helping individuals confront their emotions rather than escape them. I also touch on Dharma Recovery, which shares similarities with Refuge Recovery but offers a more self-guided and flexible structure.Throughout the episode, I emphasize the importance of finding the right recovery approach for each individual, as everyone's journey is unique. I briefly mention other recovery options, including therapy, Life Ring Secular Recovery, Women for Sobriety, Celebrate Recovery, Recovery Dharma, Medication-Assisted Treatment Models, and harm reduction programs. Each of these alternatives provides different strategies and support systems for those seeking to overcome addiction.As I conclude the episode, I remind listeners that recovSend us a textIf you're interested in a list of books that I recommend to help you on your journey you can request it by clicking on the link in my show notes.

    Understanding 12-Step Programs: A Roadmap to Recovery from Addiction

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2025 26:24 Transcription Available


    In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I am excited to present part two of our miniseries on addictions, focusing specifically on the transformative power of 12-step programs. Whether you're familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous or simply curious about the principles behind these programs, this episode is designed to provide valuable insights for everyone—whether you're on your own recovery journey, supporting someone else, or just looking to learn more.We begin by exploring the origins of 12-step programs, which date back to the 1930s with the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. Their journey of mutual support laid the groundwork for a model that has since helped millions worldwide. At the heart of these programs are the 12 steps, a series of actions that guide individuals through understanding their problems, taking accountability, and finding healing.I break down the first three steps, emphasizing the importance of surrender, hope, and trust. Step one involves admitting powerlessness over addiction and recognizing that life has become unmanageable. This step is often the hardest for many, as it requires a deep level of honesty and acceptance. Step two encourages individuals to believe in a power greater than themselves, fostering hope and openness to change. Step three is about making a conscious decision to turn one's will and life over to this higher power, emphasizing the need to let go of control.As we delve deeper into the steps, I discuss steps four through nine, which focus on accountability and making amends. These steps encourage self-reflection, vulnerability, and the willingness to take responsibility for past actions. I share personal anecdotes to illustrate the emotional challenges and profound growth that can come from this process.The final steps—ten through twelve—center on spiritual growth and service. I highlight the importance of ongoing self-awareness, connecting with a higher power, and sharing one's journey with others. The power of community and shared experiences in 12-step programs is a recurring theme, as it provides a supportive environment where individuals can feel understood and accepted.Throughout the episode, I address common myths and misconceptions about 12-step programs, such as the belief that they require religious affiliation or that they are only for those with substance addictions. I emphasize that these programs are adaptable and can be beneficial for anyone facing various challenges in life.While I celebrate the effectiveness of 12-step programs, I also acknowledge that they may not be for everyone. I touch on alternative recovery methods that will be explored in the next episodeSend us a text

    Breaking Free from Addictions: Addictions Mini Series Episode 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2025 27:28 Transcription Available


    This episode is the first of a mini series I have created on addiction. It offers a deep and compassionate exploration of addiction, its roots, and the interconnection with codependency. The discussion highlights various forms of addiction, the impact of trauma, denial, and the importance of self-reflection and support in the recovery process. • Exploring the complexities of addiction and codependency • Addiction manifests in both substance and behavioral forms • Trauma as a significant contributing factor to addiction • The emotional toll and isolation caused by addiction • Recognizing denial in addiction, both personally and among loved ones • Reflections questions for self-assessment and understanding • Highlighting the journey of recovery as a multi-faceted process • Encouraging listeners to seek support and engage with their healing journeySend us a text

    Being Alone vs Feeling Lonely: Embracing Connection and Overcoming Loneliness

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 14, 2024 18:36 Transcription Available


    Ever wondered why solitude can feel so enriching, yet loneliness feels so heavy? Join me as we dissect the nuanced differences between being alone and feeling lonely. Discover how alone time can be a crucial pillar for personal growth and self-connection, providing a much-needed escape from external pressures. We'll explore loneliness as an emotional signal urging us to seek meaningful bonds and why even a room full of people might not fill that void. With the holiday season looming, we'll tackle practical strategies to craft personal traditions, reach out to loved ones, and engage with your community, ensuring that loneliness doesn't overshadow your festivities.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Holiday Gatherings: Transforming Family Feuds and Tension into Tranquility.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2024 27:17 Transcription Available


    Bonus episode:   Navigate the often turbulent waters of family holiday gatherings with newfound confidence and peace. Discover techniques to defuse escalating tensions and let go of the unrealistic expectations that often lead to frustration. Through our discussion, you'll gain tools to build and maintain boundaries, ensuring you protect your energy and well-being while still enjoying the festive season.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    The Power of Love Languages: A Guide to Fulfilling Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2024 28:21 Transcription Available


    Unlock the secret to a fulfilling relationship by understanding the profound impact of love languages. Join me  as I guide you through the transformative power of recognizing and communicating love languages, based on Dr. Gary Chapman's groundbreaking work. Many of us struggle with feelings of being unloved due to mismatched expressions of affection, but it doesn't have to be this way. By tuning into this episode, you'll learn how to bridge these gaps and strengthen your connections, moving beyond the romantic notion that partners should instinctively know each other's needs.  This episode promises not just insights, but practical steps to ensure your love is both understood and reciprocated, fostering truly fulfilling relationships.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Reframing Self-Care: Why Taking Care of Yourself Isn't Selfish

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2024 18:12 Transcription Available


    What if prioritizing yourself could be your greatest strength rather than a selfish act? Join me in this eye-opening episode where I unpacks a lifelong misconception that prioritizing self-care is selfish, especially for those overcoming codependency. I explore the roots of this struggle, often stemming from early teachings that placed others' needs above our own, leading to exhaustion and resentment. I offer a refreshing perspective on why taking care of ourselves is an essential part of survival and maintaining healthy relationships. Through personal stories and practical advice, discover how to reframe these old beliefs and start putting your own well-being first, guilt-free.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Unlocking Emotional Intelligence: Navigating Emotions for Healthier Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 22, 2024 24:35 Transcription Available


    Unlock the secret to transforming your personal and professional relationships through the power of emotional intelligence. Discover how building self-awareness can be the first step towards understanding and managing your emotions effectively. Our discussion focuses on how many people unknowingly internalize blame and self-doubt, leading to a dismissal of their own feelings. Through practical guidance and personal stories, learn how identifying and naming your emotions can empower you to advocate for yourself and set healthy boundaries.Join us as we delve into the art of managing emotions and practicing empathy to forge deeper connections. Learn how to create space between feeling and reacting, ensuring that your emotions don't take control.  Don't forget to subscribe and share this episode to spread the benefits of emotional intelligence.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Exploring the Impact of Attachment Styles

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2024 24:18 Transcription Available


    Unlock the secrets of your relationship dynamics  as we take a deep dive into the world of attachment styles. Ever wondered why some relationships feel secure while others are filled with uncertainty? Join us as we explore the foundations laid by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, tracing how our earliest bonds with caregivers shape our adult connections. Discover how understanding these patterns can empower you to break free from generational cycles and foster healthier, more secure attachments. This episode offers not just insights but a promise of transformation, guiding you towards more fulfilling relationships and a deeper sense of self-awareness.As we journey through the intricacies of secure and anxious attachment styles, you'll find yourself reflecting on your own relationship patterns. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, we shed light on emotional intelligence and the importance of self-awareness as cornerstones of personal growth. Whether you're navigating the emotional roller coaster of an anxious attachment or striving for the balance of a secure one, this discussion promises to enhance your understanding and inspire positive change. Remember, self-improvement is a continuous journey, and while this podcast provides guidance, seeking professional help when necessary is crucial. Tune in for an episode that's both enlightening and empowering, and embark on a journey towards healthier, more balanced connections.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Untangling Enmeshment: Empowering Independence through Self-Awareness

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2024 22:15 Transcription Available


    Could the bonds in your closest relationships be holding you back instead of lifting you up? Join me as I unravel the intricate web of enmeshment that can blur boundaries and obscure individuality in the relationships we cherish most. This episode sheds light on how these dynamics differ from healthy relationships, where respect and mutual enjoyment reign, fostering individuality rather than dependency.Discover the nuances between enmeshment and codependency as we untangle the emotional struggles that can lead to isolation and loss of self-identity. By examining both romantic and familial ties, hear how enmeshment can creep into your life, and the challenges that arise when trying to establish boundaries. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and engage with our community as we navigate the road to empowerment and independence.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Healing from Infidelity: A Guide to Self-Compassion and Relationship Growth

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2024 20:27 Transcription Available


    Join me as we tackle the aftermath of betrayal through the heart-wrenching words of a listener who bravely shares their journey. This episode is a safe space where we unravel the tangled ties of infidelity, emphasizing the role of honesty, communication, and unwavering commitment in the healing process. We touch on how to separate actions from self-worth, advocating for self-compassion amid the turmoil. Personal and relational growth become our guiding lights as we explore the delicate balance between self-healing and rebuilding a relationship.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Decoding Codependent and Narcissistic Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2024 25:23 Transcription Available


    Unlock the secrets to understanding and healing from codependent and narcissistic relationships with Dr. Angela Downey on the Codependent Doctor podcast. Ever wonder why certain people are drawn to relationships that seem to take more than they give? Discover how childhood dynamics with narcissistic parents can shape codependent traits, leading individuals into familiar yet unhealthy adult relationships with narcissists. You'll gain crucial insights into the behaviors and patterns that perpetuate these dynamics.Explore the emotional rollercoaster of codependent-narcissist interactions, characterized by a constant outpouring of energy from the codependent, hoping for the narcissist's elusive affection. Examine the manipulative cycles that leave codependents feeling responsible for their partner's happiness, often to their own detriment. Through real-life examples, we shed light on the impact these relationships have on one's mental health and the importance of seeking professional guidance. Tune in to reclaim your authentic self and build healthier, more fulfilling connections.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Navigating Intimacy: Addressing Consent and Boundaries

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2024 16:49 Transcription Available


    What if your relationship's boundaries weren't just crossed but shattered? Join me, Dr. Angela Downey, as we confront the severe reality of consent violations in relationships. Using a listener's heart-wrenching story, we take an unflinching look at the necessity of clear, enthusiastic, and ongoing consent for any sexual activity.  We'll discuss the importance of listening to your instincts, respecting boundaries, and ensuring mutual consent to protect personal safety and autonomy.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Listener questions: Caring for Adult Children, Coparenting Challenges With Your Ex and Challenges Going to Therapy

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2024 25:29 Transcription Available


    Join me, Dr. Angela Downey, as we unravel the emotional tug-of-war parents face, the financial challenges, and the heartache of trying to foster independence in adult children. This episode sheds light on the deep mental and physical toll caregiving can take, along with its ripple effects on relationships with family members and partners. It's a compassionate and insightful discussion aimed at providing support and perspective to parents navigating these complex dynamics.In the second part of our episode, we navigate the turbulent waters of co-parenting after a toxic relationship, where managing triggers become daily battles. We explore the necessity of setting boundaries, the struggle of dealing with unresolved emotional wounds, and the importance of finding internal closure when external validation isn't forthcoming. Finally, we emphasize self-care and self-awareness, reminding you to prioritize your mental health and nurturing your relationship with yourself. Tune in for a heartfelt conversation that promises to guide you toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships and personal well-being.Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Breaking Free from Perfectionism: The power of being good enough

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2024 25:21 Transcription Available


    What if striving for perfection is actually sabotaging your happiness? Join me, Dr. Angela Downey, as I uncover the intricate web between codependency and perfectionism in this enlightening episode of the Codependent Doctor. I lay bare my own battles with perfectionism, from obsessively preparing for a simple board game to the eventual burnout from seeking constant external validation. Learn how the need to be positively seen by others can lead to sacrificing one's own well-being and discover the critical role of self-acceptance in breaking free from this relentless cycle.Moving forward, we delve into the severe impacts of perfectionism on mental and physical health, creativity, and relationships. Drawing inspiration from Brene Brown, I share how embracing imperfection and adopting a mindset of being "good enough" can liberate us from the shackles of unattainable standards. Send us a text❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Transforming Relationships by Building Self-Esteem

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2024 29:20 Transcription Available


    Discover how self-esteem plays a pivotal role in shaping our lives. This week's episode of the Codependent Doctor with Dr. Angela Downey uncovers the profound impact of personal experiences, societal messages, and our upbringing on our self-esteem. We examine the roots of low self-esteem and codependency, shedding light on how childhood experiences can lead to an overreliance on external validation and a deep-seated fear of rejection.Explore the transformative power of self-acceptance, self-responsibility, and self-assertiveness as we navigate the path to personal growth and improving your self esteem. Dr. Downey passionately discusses the importance of embracing our true selves and confidently expressing our needs and values. Send us a Text Message.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Recognizing Toxic Loyalty in Codependent Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2024 20:00 Transcription Available


    Can loyalty be a double-edged sword in codependent relationships? Join me, Dr. Angela Downey, as we unlock the complex dynamics of loyalty and explore how it can both build and break us within these emotionally charged partnerships. You'll learn how extreme loyalty can trap us in unhealthy relationships, draining our emotional resources and well-being. I examine the fine line between healthy loyalty and codependent loyalty, and how recognizing this can help you reclaim your authentic self. Don't miss this enlightening conversation about the hidden pitfalls of loyalty in codependent relationships.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Codependents and boundaries: Minding your own business

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2024 18:10 Transcription Available


    Let's face it, as codependents, we can struggle with boundaries because our self-worth often comes from helping others, and this can lead to overstepping. In this episode, Dr. Angela Downey discusses the importance of minding our own business, emphasizing respect for others' privacy and boundaries. By focusing on our own personal growth and respecting others' autonomy, we can foster healthier, more respectful relationships. To wrap up, Dr. Downey provides self-reflection exercises to help us understand our need to get involved in others' affairs and how to focus more on our own lives.Episodes mentioned: -Episode 7: Setting Boundaries: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2356801/15206479-setting-boundaries-Episode 13: Break the Gossip cycle:https://www.buzzsprout.com/2356801/15434819❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Breaking Free from Codependency: What is it and how do I overcome it.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2024 20:16 Transcription Available


    Have you ever found yourself constantly trying to meet the needs of others, even at the expense of your own well-being? Join me, Dr. Angela Downey, as I share my personal journey through the maze of codependency in this eye-opening episode of the Codependent Doctor. I recount the pivotal moments that led me to acknowledge my own codependent behaviors, from dismissing early warnings to finally recognizing the toll it took on my life. In this heartfelt episode, we dissect the essence of codependency and its detrimental effects on relationships. You'll learn how codependent behaviors like sacrificing personal needs and seeking constant validation can erode self-worth and lead to unhealthy dynamics. Listen in for insights and examples that resonate deeply with anyone struggling to break free from the chains of codependency.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Break the gossip cycle

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2024 16:36 Transcription Available


    Gossiping is often portrayed as a bonding moment between close friends but that perception is just not accurate. In this episode, Dr. Angela Downey unpacks the harmful effects of gossiping, such as damaging trust and relationships, and explores why people gossip to seek validation or control. She also offers strategies to avoid gossip; including setting boundaries, promoting positivity, and directly addressing gossip when it occurs. Codependents have a very difficult time resisting gossip but we can work on it. Dr. Downey encourages us to build our self-esteem to reduce the inclination to gossip. As always, there's a self reflection practice at the end of the episode to start us on our way. ❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Dealing with Shame

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2024 26:34 Transcription Available


    It's time to untangle our past shame from our perfectly imperfect current selves. Shame is a complex and challenging emotion, often arising when we feel we don't meet others' standards and fear rejection. Our host, Dr. Angela Downey, guides us through the intricacies of shame, providing numerous examples of what it can look and feel like. She also brings in emotional heavyweights like John Bradshaw and Brené Brown to reassure us that we do NOT have to hold on to these feelings. It's okay, and even necessary, to let them go.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Book Review: Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2024 20:57 Transcription Available


    Wondering what real self-care looks like beyond spa days and shopping sprees? Dr. Angela Downey explores Pooja Lakshman's book "Real Self Care," examining the difference between quick fixes and lasting self-care, including setting boundaries, changing how we talk to ourselves, living by our values, and using our power for good. This episode will give you practical tips to move past temporary solutions and build a sustainable self-care practice that truly improves your life.

    Lying

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2024 23:23 Transcription Available


    Ever wondered how often you lie and what it does to your life and relationships? In this episode, Dr. Angela Downey breaks down why everyone lies, how different types of lies affect relationships, and the tricky ethics of honesty, especially in codependent dynamics. By getting a handle on these points, listeners can reflect on their own honesty and aim for more genuine connections.

    Dating & Codependency

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2024 19:17 Transcription Available


    Katerine, one of our listeners, was curious about how to handle dating while dealing with codependency. Dr. Angela Downey gets into the nitty-gritty of this topic, talking about the need to avoid being too clingy and finding a good balance. She outlines the struggles those of us with codependency face: like always putting our partner first, struggling with boundaries, and seeking validation from others. Dr. Downey walks us through how to switch up our thinking to recognize and let go of those codependent habits. One step at a time.episode 7: Setting boundaries: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2356801/15206479-setting-boundaries❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Self-Compassion

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2024 16:09 Transcription Available


    How can we learn to be as kind to ourselves as we are to our closest pals? Dr. Angela Downey explores this in a reflective episode about self-compassion. She talks about the struggles that codependents face when trying to be kind to themselves, often because they're used to putting others first and feeling like they're not enough. Dr. Downey suggests trying out mindfulness to help with self-compassion—it can boost your mental strength and deepen your relationships. And she's speaking from experience, sharing her own journey with you in this episode.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Setting Boundaries

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2024 24:19 Transcription Available


    What if you could transform your relationships by simply defining how others treat you? Join Dr. Angela Downey this week on the Codependent Doctor as we uncover the power of setting healthy boundaries. Through relatable examples we learn how to communicate needs assertively and respectfully. This episode sheds light on why codependents often struggle with boundary setting, addressing fears of conflict, guilt, and past traumas. Dr. Downey breaks down the three essential steps to boundary setting—recognizing the need, establishing the boundary, and maintaining it—empowering you to prioritize your well-being and foster healthier relationships.Don't miss this insightful episode filled with practical solutions to help you maintain your boundaries and nurture more respectful and supportive relationships. Remember to click, like, and subscribe to stay updated and support others in their journey to healthier connections.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Experiencing the Death of a Loved One and Coping with Grief

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2024 20:09 Transcription Available


    In this heartfelt episode we will  explore the intricate ways that grief impacts our lives, regardless of the loss being anticipated. We discuss how the depth and health of our relationships can shape our grieving processes, making each experience deeply unique and personal. From denial to acceptance, I offer insights into the often misunderstood stages of grief, emphasizing that there's no right or wrong way to navigate such a profound emotional landscape.We'll embark on a journey through the stages of grief, starting with the initial shock of denial, progressing through the raw emotions of anger, the hopeful yet often futile attempts at bargaining, and the heavy weight of depression. Through each stage, we'll uncover how these emotions affect our behaviors and offer opportunities for growth and healing.  Make sure to subscribe and stay connected, as these conversations aim to support you in leading a healthier, more fulfilling life. Remember, grieving is a deeply personal journey, but you don't have to go through it alone—seek support from loved ones and professionals, and honor your emotions as you heal.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    You can't control others, only yourself

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2024 22:25 Transcription Available


    Discover the keys to personal liberation as I, Dr. Angela Downey, guide you through the labyrinth of codependency and control, offering insights that promise to unlock new doors to self-awareness and empowerment. Together, we'll confront the tough questions about our futile attempts to control others and learn to distinguish what's within our grasp from what's not. By embracing the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, we'll cultivate a mindset focused on personal change rather than external manipulation, setting the stage for more fulfilling relationships and a profound sense of inner control.You'll come away with actionable insights on creating deep and meaningful connections, the art of listening and expressing, and the courage to trust your intuition. Join me in this transformative journey and take your first step towards overcoming codependency and embracing the growth that lies within your control.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Managing Anxiety

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2024 25:37 Transcription Available


    Feel the tight grip of anxiety loosening as Dr. Angela Downey, your guide on the Codependent Doctor, unveils the intricacies of our inner alarm system. Discover the paradox of anxiety—it's a natural part of being human, yet often it steers us into irrational territory, as exemplified by a patient's undue panic over undercooked chicken. We dissect this primal fight or flight response, honed for physical threats, now firing in the face of modern psychological stresses. Dr. Downey expertly demonstrates how anxiety, when misunderstood, can lead us astray, causing undue stress and the importance of acknowledging it as a crucial, protective signal from our bodies. By staying grounded in the present, we can ease the burden of ruminating on the past or future, and find solace in the now.Embark on a journey of mastering calm with actionable cognitive strategies designed to combat the chaos of anxious thoughts. Dr. Downey introduces techniques such as the body scan, deep breathing, and meditation, alongside insights into lifestyle choices that influence mental wellbeing. The transformative power of therapy, especially Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), is highlighted, providing a blueprint for challenging negative thought patterns and fostering resilience. This episode is more than a trove of wisdom—it's a call to embrace self-care through affirmations and thought management, setting the stage for next week's deep exploration into codependency. Stay engaged and empowered; subscribe for a journey with the Codependent Doctor, where mental health takes center stage.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    Overcoming People Pleasing

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2024 16:54 Transcription Available


    Have you ever found yourself saying 'yes' when every fiber of your being is screaming 'no'? You're not alone. Join me on a deep-dive exploration into the world of people-pleasing, where I peel back the layers of our fear of disapproval and the societal pressures that drive us to forsake our own needs. This episode is a journey through self-discovery, complete with personal anecdotes like my unexpected infatuation with the serene world of plants, that shed light on the joy of embracing our true interests. I'll guide you through the importance of tuning into your body's signals and dissect the roots of our unease, providing you the tools needed to start prioritizing your well-being over the relentless pursuit of pleasing others.Let's talk about the power of a simple 'no'. This conversation is an empowering rally cry for setting boundaries without the shadow of guilt. We'll navigate the sometimes uncomfortable process of distancing ourselves from the beneficiaries of our acquiescence and how to forge a path towards self-care that mirrors the life-saving oxygen mask principle. Wrap up the episode with me as we recite weekly mantras designed to bolster mental fortitude and affirm that our value doesn't hinge on the sacrifices made for others' happiness. Remember, this isn't just another podcast; it's a supportive space, though not a stand-in for professional guidance. So, if you're ready to transform your life from being a 'yes' machine to a self-assured individual who can confidently decline, this is the episode you won't want to miss.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    What is People Pleasing

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2024 17:28 Transcription Available


    Struggling to say 'no' and feeling burnt out? You're not alone. On the latest episode of Codependent Doctor, I, Dr. Angela Downey, get candid about the tightrope walk between kindness and compulsion. We take a look at why 'yes' might not always be the golden word and how our ancestral need for acceptance can morph into a modern-day trap of people-pleasing. With humor and vulnerability, I share tales from my own life, including a childhood sleepover fiasco, to illustrate the sometimes-hilarious lengths we go to for approval.Join me as we navigate the challenging path to setting boundaries and recognizing our own worth, especially in high-stress fields like medicine. Hear how the relentless pursuit of pleasing others can spiral into burnout, impacting not just professional but personal lives as well. This episode isn't just about identifying the problem; it's about taking steps to reclaim your life. So, let's embark on this journey together, shedding the weight of constant accommodation, and moving towards a more authentic and satisfying existence. Remember to engage with us by subscribing for more episodes that promise to enlighten, entertain, and empower you on your path to personal growth.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

    What is Codependency: Dr. Angela Downey's Path to Self-Discovery

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2024 20:16 Transcription Available


    Join me in a heartfelt episode where I peel back the layers of my own journey—uncovering the deeply ingrained childhood coping mechanisms that linger into adulthood, often to our detriment.Together, we'll explore the subtle yet profound ways codependency can manifest, from the inability to recognize our own emotions to an excessive self-reliance that masks our inner turmoil. As I share the candid challenges I faced, including the struggle with setting boundaries and the quest for external validation, you'll discover how these patterns can lead to resentment and a loss of self-worth. This episode isn't just my story—it's a roadmap for anyone seeking to break free from the avoidant tactics we use to shield our vulnerabilities and instead step courageously toward self-discovery for healthier, more authentic relationships.❤️ Are you codependent? Take a Codependency Quiz, https://thecodependentdoctor.com/quiz/✨Please contact me for any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes at codependentdoctor@gmail.com

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