Podcast appearances and mentions of pooja lakshmin

The TikTok-ification of Self-Care (And How to Fix It) with Dr. Pooja LakshminIn this episode of The WorkWell Podcast™, Jen Fisher speaks with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, psychiatrist, mental health advocate, and author of "Real Self Care." Together they unpack the commercialization of wellness and explore why so many women feel caught between achieving everything and finding time for authentic self-care. They navigate the complexities of caregiving, adult friendships, and finding hope in challenging times.Episode Highlights:The four principles of real self-care: boundaries, compassion, values, and powerWhy the "pause" is the true boundary - not simply saying noThe invisible burden of elder caregiving and why it's so difficult to discuss at workHow to maintain meaningful adult friendships when life gets overwhelmingUnderstanding hope as an active practice rather than wishful thinkingThe importance of finding small moments of joy and connection in daily lifeQuotable Moment:"Real self-care is an internal process. Boundaries, compassion, values, and power - those four internal principles, that's the work of real self-care. And then once you've done that, then you go to yoga, then you do your meditation. But if you're not using those internal principles and not doing that internal work first, then the external tools will be empty." - Dr. Pooja LakshminLyra Lens:In this edition, Dr. Kendall Browne, Clinical Psychologist and Director at Lyra Health, unpacks the concept of "the pause" that Dr. Lakshmin identified as crucial for boundary-setting. She explains that while pausing seems simple, implementing it proves challenging—especially for women who feel pressure to respond instantly. Dr. Browne offers practical strategies for habitualizing this pause and distinguishes between different boundary types: porous (saying yes too often), inflexible (saying no reflexively), and purposefully permeable (thoughtful decisions about when to engage).Resources:This episode of The WorkWell Podcast™ is made possible by Lyra Health, a premier global workforce mental health solution. Learn more at Lyrahealth.com/workwell.

In this episode of Making Good Book Club, Charelle and I dive into Real Self-Care by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. We explore the difference between faux and real self-care, why setting boundaries is hard but necessary, and how true self-care is about reclaiming your time and energy.MAKING GOOD SHOW NOTES:https://makinggoodpodcast.com/289CONNECT WITH ME ON INSTAGRAM:https://instagram.com/laurentildenGET 100 MARKETING PROMPTS (free!):https://makinggoodpodcast.com/100prompts

For many people, when we start thinking about a family, we assume it'll just happen nine months from the moment we start trying. But that isn't the way it happens for all of us. And fertility can often be a journey that's more winding and more complicated and more confusing than we expected it to be. That's why ParentData has launched a new content vertical, Trying to Conceive (TTC), covering everything from ovulation windows to donor eggs to infertility treatments, along with a newsletter all about infertility treatment in particular, which aims to answer all of your questions with data. It's our mission to provide real evidence-based information so you can make the best decisions for your family.Today on ParentData, we're airing the audio from an event Emily did with three of the people who have contributed most to our new initiative: Dr. Breonna Slocum, a reproductive endocrinologist and fertility specialist, Marea Goodman, a licensed midwife and author, and Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a perinatal psychiatrist. This roundtable of experts discuss about where to start with fertility, answer audience questions in real time, and consider what they all wish that they knew before starting the journey of trying to conceive.Explore to Trying to Conceive on ParentData.org, where you can also access new articles every week on data-driven pregnancy and parenting.This episode is generously supported by: Hatch LMNT StrollerCoaster Podcast

“Quyển sách này được viết cho những phụ nữ đang tự hỏi có phải mình đã làm sai mọi thứ, mình đã đủ tốt hay chưa, và mình có đang đòi hỏi quá nhiều hay không. Tôi đồng cảm với bạn, tôi từng là bạn. Cùng nhau, chúng ta sẽ tạo nên một con đường tốt đẹp hơn cho chính mình và thế hệ tiếp theo”.Bằng trải nghiệm sâu sắc của bản thân và với kiến thức, tâm huyết của một bác sĩ tâm thần, tác giả Pooja Lakshmin đã chia sẻ với người đọc như vậy trong quyển sách “Chăm sóc bản thân thật sự” của mình.Support the show

Khi nghĩ đến sự thay đổi đột phá trong năm mới, bạn nghĩ đến gì? Một mái tóc mới, một ứng dụng giúp ngủ ngon hơn, một loại nồi giúp tiết kiệm thời gian nấu nướng? Hay một khóa học yoga, khoá thiền chánh niệm?Nhưng bạn tin không, nếu bạn đang là một phụ nữ quá tải, luôn thiếu thốn thời gian, thường thấy mình cũ kỹ, thiếu năng lượng, những sản phẩm trên đều khá hời hợt, chẳng thể có tác dụng lâu dài lên đời sống của bạn. Chí ít, đó là nhận định của Pooja Lakshmin, bác sĩ tâm thần và tác giả cuốn sách “Real Self-care” (tựa tiếng Việt: “Chăm sóc bản thân thật sự”)Support the show

This is a rerelease of EPISODE #01, my very first episode on Boundaries!In this episode I talk about:protecting yours and your child's energy and why it matterspatriarchy and the pressures we can experiencesaying "no" to invitations without needing to explainallow ourselves to receive with all the giving as Mumshaving our DESIRES met, not just our needsbeing assertive enough to speak your truthcultural and familial expectations (that can be unhealthy, particularly for new parents)Themes: boundaries, toxic people, relationships, postnatal recoveryAt the end, I share a poem/quote from Iain Thomas.I mention Glennon Doyle, Terri Cole and her book 'Boundary Boss', Pooja Lakshmin and her book 'Real Self Care'.Did you enjoy this episode? If so, I would really appreciate it if you could please leave a review on the platform that you listen. For more insights and to contact me you can find me on Instagram, and at www.lucywyldecoaching.com.

Khi nói đến chăm sóc bản thân, nhiều người nghĩ ngay đến những buổi spa thư giãn, khóa học yoga hay những phương pháp chăm sóc da, dưỡng tóc đắt tiền. Nhưng tất cả những điều đó có thật sự giúp chúng ta đạt được sự cân bằng và hạnh phúc không, hay chúng đơn thuần là những hình thức giải tỏa tạm thời để che đậy sự mệt mỏi và áp lực đang chồng chất? Đó chính là câu hỏi mà bác sĩ tâm thần chuyên về sức khỏe tinh thần phụ nữ Pooja Lakshmin đặt ra trong “Chăm sóc bản thân thật sự” (tựa gốc: Real self-care), một quyển sách đáng đọc trong thời đại phát triển bùng nổ của lĩnh vực chăm sóc sức khỏe thể chất và tinh thần.Support the show

Gần đây, khái niệm “chăm sóc bản thân” tràn ngập khắp mạng xã hội, từ những video hướng dẫn yoga trên bãi biển đến hình ảnh các bình nước sang trọng được gắn tag #SelfCare. Nhưng đâu mới là chăm sóc bản thân thật sự? Và làm thế nào để chăm sóc bản thân đúng cách trong cuộc sống bận rộn?Trong cuốn sách “Chăm sóc bản thân thật sự”, Pooja Lakshmin đã đưa ra những phân tích và bằng chứng cho thấy xã hội hiện nay đã đặt nhiều gánh nặng tinh thần lên phụ nữ, khiến họ kiệt sức, mất kết nối và có xu hướng gặp nhiều vấn đề về sức khỏe tâm lý như trầm cảm, lo âu… Nhưng thay vì giải quyết nguyên nhân vấn đề, chúng ta lại thực hành những phương pháp chăm sóc bản thân giả tạo và xem nó như giải pháp cho một vấn đề xã hội.Support the show

Send us a textSo many of us lead overly busy lives and often find ourselves consumed with caring for others, including our children. Self-care is often the last thing on our priority list. Perhaps the whole concept of self-care feels frivolous or trendy. In today's episode of In the Den, Sara sits down with Reverend Florence Caplow, a Zen priest and teacher, to discuss the reality of self-care and some very practical suggestions for prioritizing personal well-being so that we're better equipped to care for ourselves and those around us. Special Guest: Rev. Florence Caplow Rev. Florence Caplow is a queer UU minister and an ordained Soto Zen priest and teacher, as well as a climate change and social justice activist, writer, and change coach. She regularly leads classes at Zen Centers around the country, and she offers one-on-one coaching for big life changes/transitions. To learn more about her you can visit her website, www.cloudway.live.Links From the Show: The Greater Good Science Center https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ Rest Is Resistance Tricia Hersey: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/tricia-hersey/rest-is-resistance/9780316365536/ The Nap Ministry Rest Deck: https://rep.club/products/nap-ministry-rest-deck?srsltid=AfmBOooY7EHhGScb4MXTpWDzEnCUr0CzyqMPb-QjbzOc6VR4q2kZ-DW4 The Contemplative Pastor: https://www.eerdmans.com/9781467418874/the-contemplative-pastor/ Rev. Caplow's website: www.cloudway.live Rev. Caplow offers coaching here: https://www.cloudway.live/change-coaching Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin: https://www.poojalakshmin.com/realselfcare Join Mama Dragons today: www.mamadragons.org In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org. Connect with Mama Dragons:WebsiteInstagramFacebookDonate to this podcast

In this episode, Pooja Lakshmin shares her expertise on the power of self-care. As a mental health practitioner, Pooja knows where many of us tend to fall flat and steer ourselves toward burnout. Here, she'll share tips for how to set meaningful boundaries at work, how to recognize what priorities really matter, and how to […] The post How To Practice Real Self-Care appeared first on The Conferences for Women.

Links and Resources;  Circle Time Webinare with Michele Williams for PRO Plus members of the Curtains & Soft Furnishings Resource Library.   The Mel Robbins Podcast with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin   Podcast with Susan Woodcock   The Sew Much More Podcast is sponsored by;     Klimaka Studios   The Workroom Channel   Scarlet Thread Consulting   The WCAA   The Curtains and Soft Furnishings Resource Library   Merril Y Landis, LTD   Angel's Distributing, LLC   National Upholstery Association   Workroom Tech        

When was the last time you said "no" without feeling guilty? Or set a boundary and actually stuck to it? If you can't remember, today's episode is the wake-up call you need. Boundaries can protect your time, energy, and mental space, and yet for so many of us, boundaries are hard to make and almost impossible to keep.Renowned psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin is sharing the 3 surprising signs that you lack boundaries and how to take control to reclaim your life. By the end of this conversation, you're not only going to know how to set them, you're going to realize that any single time you feel overwhelmed or overextended, you need to take her 3 simple yet powerful steps to taking your power back.If you liked this episode and want to learn exactly what to do to live a more peaceful and fulfilled life, listen to this episode next: 5 Things Only Fake Friends Do & How to Let Go of What No Longer Serves YouFor more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. Connect with Mel: Get Mel's new free 26-page workbook, What Do You Really Want, to finally answer that question and redefine your future. Watch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Sign up for Mel's personal letter Disclaimer

Episode 201: Burnout with Morgan PotterHave you ever experienced burnout? Burnout is a deeper form of exhaustion caused by constantly feeling “swamped”, and it's not a badge of honor. Today my guest Morgan Potter and I dug into what it is, what it isn't, and how to set yourself up to not have it. Morgan shares her experience of it and what she is doing to change that. Get ready to be inspired because we get to live fully the best versions of ourselves, it's time!Highlights from this episode:(6:26) Finding harmony in life(9:58) Redefining success and work-life harmony(16:13) Burnout culture and the importance of self-care(30:37) Prioritizing life's "burners" for harmony and joy(39:37) Trusting intuition and lowering burnout(49:44) Living authentically and courageouslyReferenced on this Episode:Episode 197: Harnessing Your Energy with Morgan PotterReal Self Care by Pooja Lakshmin, MDEssentialism BookEffortless BookMorgan's Etsy ShopMy YouTube ChannelLeave Coach Kelly a Message HereLIFT(her) 6 Month Group Coaching Program for WomenImagine if you had the tools you require to create the transformation you desire personally and professionally. Imagine if you woke up each day feeling energized instead of overwhelmed. Imagine if you woke up each day knowing, in your gut, that you are enough.We open the doors again in September and BEGIN in October:Get on the waitlist to be the first to hear about Early Bird Pricing The 'Take the Lead Workshops' will help you stay unstuck & create the results & success you want. I've learned a few things along the way & created these workshops in order to help you move past being up against it & have focused action on what's important to you. Our next series starts in September 10th.SIGN UP HERE!Connect with Coach Kelly and for more resources please visit:

Episode 200: Completion Release EnergyEver feel behind, incomplete, that comes with a helping of heavy energy? Well look no further than today's topic about completion. We dive into what completion is, what it creates, and I share a personal story about the absolute difference it makes. Ready to be complete? Let's jump in!Do you want to master ENERGY? Are you curious about what can help shift in a great way in your life? Join me for our third quarter “Take the Lead in Your Life” Workshop series where we take a really deep dive into energy. Sign up here. We start 9/10! Highlights from this episode:(05:11) Completion and its physical and emotional releases(10:39) Releasing energy to make space for new things. (15:42) Persistence and discipline(25:25) My Fibromyalgia diagnosis, trauma, and healing.(31:12) Improve your well beingReferenced on this Episode:Real Self Care by Pooja Lakshmin, MDEpisode 196 Myth Busting – Energy Matters!Episode 197: Harnessing Your Energy with Morgan PotterEpisode 198: I Have ToEpisode 199: Choose Your ExperienceLeave Coach Kelly a Message HereLIFT(her) 6 Month Group Coaching Program for WomenImagine if you had the tools you require to create the transformation you desire personally and professionally. Imagine if you woke up each day feeling energized instead of overwhelmed. Imagine if you woke up each day knowing, in your gut, that you are enough.(Congratulations to Cohort 3 who just launched! Doors will open again in September!Get on the waitlist to be the first to hear about Early Bird Pricing )The 'Take the Lead Workshops' will help you stay unstuck & create the results & success you want. I've learned a few things along the way & created these workshops in order to help you move past being up against it & have focused action on what's important to you. Our next series starts in June!Get on the Workshop Waitlist to stay updated throughout the year.Connect with Coach Kelly and for more resources please visit: www.kellyjmobeck.com Let's Get Social, follow Coach Kelly:@KellyMobeck on LinkedIn@KellyMobeck on InstagramIf you enjoyed this episode please share it with a friend, and it would mean so much if you could take a quick moment to

Wondering what real self-care looks like beyond spa days and shopping sprees? Dr. Angela Downey explores Pooja Lakshman's book "Real Self Care," examining the difference between quick fixes and lasting self-care, including setting boundaries, changing how we talk to ourselves, living by our values, and using our power for good. This episode will give you practical tips to move past temporary solutions and build a sustainable self-care practice that truly improves your life.

Ever wondered how often you lie and what it does to your life and relationships? In this episode, Dr. Angela Downey breaks down why everyone lies, how different types of lies affect relationships, and the tricky ethics of honesty, especially in codependent dynamics. By getting a handle on these points, listeners can reflect on their own honesty and aim for more genuine connections.

June 24th marks the two-year anniversary of The Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. Because Reimagining Love is a show devoted to relationships and helping people cultivate relationships founded in empowerment and care, Dr. Alexandra wanted to shine a light on the pervasive and pernicious impacts of the Supreme Court's decision on individuals, couples, and families in the United States. In fact, abortion has become virtually unavailable or significantly restricted in 21 states leaving pregnant people and their loved ones across the country facing the fears and roadblocks in their attempts to access reproductive healthcare. In this episode Dr. Alexandra facilitates a roundtable discussion with two strong voices in the field who help us better understand the mental health and the relational health effects of living in Post-Roe America– and how restriction of access to abortion exacerbates economic and racial inequality. Shefali Luthra is a health policy journalist who recently released her first book, Undue Burden: Life and Death Decisions in Post-Roe America, and Dr. Pooja Lakshmin is a perinatal psychiatrist and the author of Real Self Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness.Shefali and Dr. Pooja's powerful insights will resonate with listeners who have experienced these impacts firsthand as well as those watching the landscape unfold from afar.Relevant Links:Read Undue Burden: Life and Death Decisions in Post-Roe America by Shefali LuthraRead Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals,  Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Dr. Pooja LakshminThe UCSF Turnaway StudyTwo years after Roe's overturn, there are more abortions in America — but they're harder to get by Shefali Luthra on the 19th Connect with Shefali on X or through emailLearn more about Dr. Pooja's work, subscribe to her newsletter, and connect with her on InstagramOrder Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra's NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Join Dr. Alexandra's five-day retreat with the Modern Elder Academy — Get 10% off with code 'GF10'Try Kion Aminos risk-free for 60-days with a money-back guarantee. Get 20% off https://www.getkion.com/OSLP - discount code is OSLP.

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a board-certified psychiatrist, author, keynote speaker, and a contributor to The New York Times. Her debut book, REAL SELF-CARE: Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble-Baths Not Included, is an NPR Best Book of 2023 and a national best-seller. Real Self-Care has been featured by Good Morning America, NPR's Code Switch, The New York Times, The Ezra Klein Show, The Guardian, and translated into 10 languages. She lives in Austin with her partner Justin, their toddler, and their two cats, Kitty and Fifi. Topics Covered: • Growing up spending summers in India and navigating life as a "Good Indian Girl" • Becoming disillusioned with medicine and psychiatry and that journey that led her on• Her move to Austin since 2020 and how that experience has been • The growing interest in self-care and what the difference is between self-care and faux self-care• The nuances of holistic or integrative medicine and the barriers communities of people face in mainstream medicine • The differences between tools and principles in real self-care and how they can work together to help you make big decisions in life• How to apply real self-care to Asian American guilt • Disrupting intergenerational trauma • How to identify which boundaries are yours vs boundaries that may have been passed down by your culture or familyMaterials Referenced: REAL SELF-CARE: Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble-Baths Not Included by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MDDr. Pooja Lakshmin InstagramGood Morning America SegmentNPR's Code Switch: Real self-care takes real systemic change

In 1978, psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes published the first study on imposter syndrome—originally termed “imposter phenomenon”—about high-achieving women feeling like frauds at work… and it struck a major nerve. The study kicked off decades of frenzied discourse, programs, and merch aimed at curing women of this irrational feminine disease. Among the proposed treatments included professional development conferences, self-help books like The Imposter Cure, and power poses. Use of the term imposter syndrome has only increased, but I have questions. Like… why are these conversations so gendered? Does anyone NOT experience imposter syndrome? What if you don't even feel qualified to have imposter syndrome? Is it really a diagnosable “syndrome” in the first place? And either way, how can we stop feeling this way?? Psychiatrist and author of “Real Self Care” Dr. Pooja Lakshmin (@poojalakshmin) joins host Amanda (@amanda_montell) for this week's brain-soothing discussion. - Come get tickets to see Amanda on book tour in Chicago and Minneapolis!! amandamontell.com/events  - Join the "Magical Overthinkers Club" by following the pod on Instagram @magicaloverthinkers. - To access early, ad-free episodes and more, subscribe to the Magical Overthinkers Substack. - Pick up a hard copy of Amanda's book The Age of Magical Overthinking: Notes on Modern Irrationality, or listen to the audiobook. - Sources:  Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome Prevalence, Predictors, and Treatment of Impostor Syndrome: a Systematic Review All Imposters Aren't Alike ‘Being delulu,' or delusional is the new Gen Z trend for hacking career success A Cultural Impostor? Native American Experiences of Impostor Phenomenon in STEM Follow Amanda: @amanda_montell Follow the show: @magicaloverthinkers To watch the podcast on YouTube: https://bit.ly/MagicalOverthinkersYouTube  Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening, or by using this link: https://bit.ly/MagicalOverthinkers  If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, DM, email, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/MagicalOverthinkers  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, MD is a psychiatrist and author specializing in women's mental health. She is a frequent contributor to The New York Times and the founder of Gemma, the first digital education platform dedicated exclusively to women's mental health. Dr. Lakshmin is most passionate about empowering women and sees her clinical work as a perinatal psychiatrist as an extension of this mission. In this episode we discuss mom guilt, stress, self-care, the anxiety of this ongoing pandemic moment, and how we can reclaim ourselves amidst it all.  You can find Pooja on Instagram @poojalakshmin and at her website: poojalakshmin.com We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid's behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever put on a face mask, expecting it to solve all your mental health problems?  That seems…unrealistic, but it's what self-care marketing tells us: get your self-care right, and all your difficulties will evaporate. This week on It's OK, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care, breaks down what “self-care” actually means when we're living in a complex, capitalistic world. It's an exploration of grief, burnout, and exhaustion, and what it takes to care for yourself inside systems that repeatedly ignore their part in your suffering.    In this episode we cover:  Why self-care doesn't work How hope is different than optimism Does looking for your own answers mean you have to do things alone? Accepting help as a bid for connection How Dr. Lakshmin's definition of boundaries can help you practice real self-care   We're re-releasing some of our favorite episodes from the first 3 seasons. This episode was originally recorded in 2023.   Looking for a creative exploration of grief? Check out the best selling Writing Your Grief course here.   Follow the show on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok @refugeingrief   Related episodes: Rage Becomes Her (and by “her” I mean US) with Soraya Chemaly   Living with Chronic Illness: A Conversation for Everyone with a Body with Sarah Ramey. About our guest: Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a psychiatrist, a clinical assistant professor at George Washington University School of Medicine, and the founder and CEO of Gemma, the women's mental health community centering impact and equity. She has spent thousands of hours taking care of women struggling with burnout, despair, depression, and anxiety in her clinical practice. Her debut non-fiction book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included), is available in e-book, hardcover, and audiobook narrated by Pooja.   About Megan:  Psychotherapist Megan Devine is one of today's leading experts on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don't call grief. Get the best-selling book on grief in over a decade, It's Ok that You're Not OK, wherever you get books. Find Megan @refugeingrief   Additional Resources: Read “Hope is Not a Thing to Have – It's a Skill to Practice” at Oprah Daily   Read “How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers” at The New York Times   Read “Saying ‘No' Is Self-Care for Parents” at The New York Times   Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A grief clinics: your questions, answered. Want to speak to her privately? Apply for a 1:1 grief consultation here.    Check out Megan's best-selling books - It's OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed Books and resources may contain affiliate links.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you feel stuck wondering if you will ever heal from betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode Amie and Alana share their own experiences grappling with that exact question. They provide wisdom and practical tools for aiding your healing process whether you are just starting out or are further along the path. You can and will heal - as you keep taking those crucial next steps. Listen to learn: How proper self-care can promote recovery The importance of somatic/body-based healing work How self-judgment and denial can hinder progress Referenced in this episode: REAL Self-Care: Burnout Is Not Your Fault & the Way Out with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin - episode on the We Can Do Hard Things Podcast What Does “Get In Your Body” Mean?” - past episode about somatic healing Two groups hosted by Morgan Ellsworth - Adult Children Uniting for Healing and Resilient Teens. These groups are for adult children and teens, respectively, to gain support as they navigate healing from parents who have experienced betrayal in their marriage. Morgan has been there and is passionate about guiding others along their path to healing. Should I Stay or Go? - Amie's self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment.  Wanting another podcast to listen to?  Subscribe to Luke Gordon's new podcast Beyond the Facade. Each week Luke will delve into topics such as authenticity, vulnerability, and integrity. Learn how to unmask your authentic self to deepen connections to yourself and others. Register Now! In-person Intensive: ⁠Unmasked: Paths to Authentic Masculinity⁠ - This is a three-day live intensive for men led by Alana and Luke Gordon. This program is designed to help men delve deep into understanding integrity, unveiling layers of shame, and reclaiming their authentic selves. Intensive will be held in Spanish Fork, UT on May 16-18, 2024 and also July 17-19, 2024. Learn more and register ⁠HERE⁠. ⁠⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠⁠ - This betrayal trauma support group is for men who have been betrayed. New group beginning soon! More from Choose Recovery Services Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma. First four weeks are free! Believing in You - In this program Amie teaches you how to work WITH your brain instead of against it. Healing Hearts - This group is for couples seeking healing after betrayal. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication.  Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal. Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie. Choose Renewal - For women recovering from unwanted sexual behavior. Focus on recovery and healing from patterns of sexual acting out in a safe, nurturing community. Road to Recovery - Free monthly webinar with Luke and Alana Gordon for couples navigating the relational aspects that come along the road to recovery. Choosing to Stay Webinar - Free monthly webinar for couples choosing to stay together after infidelity.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like.  Connect with us on Social Media: Alana Gordon - MFTIntern, CCPS-C Amie Woolsey - Life Coach CPC, ICF, ELI-MP, CLDS, APSATS Trainee Choose Recovery Services

"Self-care" is exhausting. Go ahead and mash that Pause button. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness, joins Biz to talk about the mental cost of saying no, the seduction of the wellness industry, and wine and cheese in Rome.Get your copy of Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) wherever books are sold. Learn more about Dr. Pooja Lakshmin and her work by visiting her website, www.PoojaLakshmin.com.Go to MaximumFun.org/join to support One Bad Mother in its final year! This week, we were sponsored by StoryWorth. Go to www.StoryWorth.com/BADMOTHER to save $10 off your first purchase.Share a personal or commercial message on the show! Details at MaximumFun.org/Jumbotron.Visit our Linktree for our website, merch, and more! https://linktr.ee/onebadmotherYou can suggest a topic or a guest for an upcoming show by sending an email to onebadmother@maximumfun.org.Show MusicSummon the Rawk, Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com)Ones and Zeros, Awesome, Beehive SessionsMom Song, Adira Amram, Hot Jams For TeensTelephone, Awesome, Beehive SessionsMama Blues, Cornbread Ted and the ButterbeansMental Health Resources:Therapy for Black Girls – Therapyforblackgirls.comDr. Jessica Clemmens – https://www.askdrjess.comBLH Foundation – borislhensonfoundation.orgThe Postpartum Support International Warmline – 1-800-944-4773 (1-800-944-4PPD)The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline – 1-800-662-4357 (1-800-662-HELP)Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call or chat. They are here to help anyone in crisis. Dial 988 for https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org and there is a chat option on the website.Crisis Text Line: Text from anywhere in the USA (also Canada and the UK) to text with a trained counselor. A real human being.USA text 741741Canada text 686868UK text 85258Website: https://www.crisistextline.orgNational Sexual Assault: Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.https://www.rainn.orgNational Domestic Violence Hotline:https://www.thehotline.org/help/Our advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential.They suggest that if you are a victim and cannot seek help, ask a friend or family member to call for you.Teletherapy Search: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling

297. REAL Self-Care: Burnout Is Not Your Fault & the Way Out with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin Psychiatrist Dr. Pooja Lakshmin shows us how to tell the difference between the Faux Self-Care we've been sold versus the Real Self-Care we desperately need. Discover:  How to incorporate boundaries through the power of the pause and how to navigate the post-boundary ick with ease; A simple tool to know whether you are being driven by your goals or driven by your values (and how to find and start living by your values today); and Whether you might be in ‘martyr mode,' and the key to getting out of it.  About Pooja: Dr. Pooja Lakshmin is a board-certified psychiatrist, author, keynote speaker, and a contributor to The New York Times. Her debut book, REAL SELF-CARE: Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble-Baths Not Included, is an NPR Best Book of 2023 and a national best-seller. Pooja serves as a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University School of Medicine, and maintains an active private practice where she treats women struggling with burnout, perfectionism, and disillusionment, as well as clinical conditions like depression, anxiety and ADHD. She frequently speaks, advises and consults for organizations on mental health and well-being. Pooja writes the weekly Substack newsletter, Real Self-Care.  IG: @poojalakshmin To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tired of the same old book club format? Join us on Shelf Improvement, where our panel of coaches and therapists ditch the assigned reading and bring their latest self-help obsessions to the table! In this episode, we delve into four diverse books that will help you:Prioritize self-care: Learn Dr. Pooja Lakshmin's secrets for taking care of yourself, not just in emergencies, but as a foundation for a thriving life.Build meaningful connections: Discover Shannan Martin's practical tips for fostering genuine connections with your neighbors, strengthening your community.Master the art of gathering: Explore Priya Parker's framework for creating intentional gatherings that leave a lasting impact.Navigate your emotional landscape: Dive deep into Brene Brown's "Atlas of the Heart" and gain a richer understanding of your emotions.In this episode, you'll get:Insights from the experts: Hear directly from coaches and therapists about what resonated most with them from each book.Actionable takeaways: We won't just discuss the books – we'll provide practical tips you can start applying today to improve your life.Diverse perspectives: Our panel will share their unique interpretations and how they plan to use the book's wisdom in their coaching and therapy practices.Recommendations for you: Whether you're a self-proclaimed self-care guru or a social butterfly looking to deepen connections, we'll help you identify which book might be the best fit for your current goals.So grab a cup of tea, settle in, and get ready to take your personal growth journey to the next level with Shelf Improvement!Real Self CareDr. Pooja Lakshmin's Website: https://www.poojalakshmin.com/Podcast interview with Dr. Lakshmin: Explore her ideas in further depth on a podcast or interview. (Search for her name with "podcast" for options)Start with HelloShannan Martin's website: https://theneighborsproject.com/ – Get tools, stories, and inspiration on connecting with your neighborhood."Start With Hello Week": Learn about this annual initiative encouraging simple acts of kindness towards others.The Art of GatheringPriya Parker's website: https://www.priyaparker.com/ - Explore her gathering philosophy, tools, and a blog.The Art of Gathering Toolkit: Access free downloads for designing your next gathering.Atlas of the HeartBrene Brown's website: https://brenebrown.com/ – Access further resources on her work on vulnerability, courage, and more."Unlocking Us" Podcast with Brene Brown: Delve deeper into specific emotions and experiences discussed in Atlas of the Heart.Did this episode hit a little close to home?Feeling stuck even though you're incredibly self-aware? You're not alone! If you're tired of the gap between what you know and what you actually DO, we'd love to connect. Let's talk about the patterns holding you back and how coaching can get you unstuck and confidently moving towards your goals.Think of us as your catalyst for a rich, impactful life. Ready to step into your boldest potential? Let's talk. Book a

This is a repeat of an earlier episode. Self-care is everywhere but what is it really? Real self-care is not a bubble bath or a massage or a yoga class. Real self-care is an inside job. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, author of Real Self-Care, joins Dr. Becky to talk about how women and parents can discover what caring for yourself really looks like. Join Good Inside Membership: https://bit.ly/3UgYcp9Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinsideSign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletterOrder Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books.For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcastTo listen to Dr. Becky's TED Talk on repair visit https://www.ted.com/talks/becky_kennedy_the_single_most_important_parenting_strategyOrder Dr. Lakshmin's book Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) at https://www.poojalakshmin.com/realselfcare or wherever you order your books.Today's episode is brought to you by Garanimals: Garanimals is the original mix-and-match clothing brand for babies and toddlers in sizes newborn to 5T. Each Kid Pack contains carefully curated tops and bottoms that easily mix and match. Pick any top and any bottom, and voila! Instant outfit. And with up to a month's worth of outfits in just one box, Garanimals's Kid Packs take care of a whole lot of outfit planning. You can find all their fun mix-and-match styles from their new spring collection in Walmart stores and on Walmart.com.

You can't meditate yourself out of a 40-hour work week with no childcare and no paid sick days," says Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. But when you're overworked and overwhelmed, what actually can you do? On this episode, host B.A. Parker asks: What are your options when a bubble bath won't cut it?Listen to more Code Switch at these links: Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, NPR.org, or anywhere you get your podcasts.

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist, shares her journey of discovering the true essence of self-care. Drawing from her experiences with patients feeling overwhelmed by the wellness industry's commodified approach, she unravels the concept of “faux self-care.” Pooja articulates the four principles of real self-care and the ever-changing nature of this internal process. In this episode, you will be able to: Define and discover the transformative power of real self-care Learn to set healthy boundaries for genuine self-care Overcome the societal challenges to prioritize your self-care Explore the intersection of self-care and activism for personal and social change Embrace the importance of values in nurturing authentic self-care practices To learn more, click here!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you've ever found yourself scouring the internet to find the newest craze that claims to help you achieve inner balance, you aren't alone. In her best-selling book Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included), Dr. Pooja Lakshmin highlights the pervasiveness of faux self-care practices in our day-to-day lives and provides real ways for readers to improve their wellbeing. A psychiatrist specializing in women's mental health, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University School of Medicine, a New York Times contributor, and the founder and CEO of Gemma, a physician-led women's mental health education platform, Pooja is dedicated to helping others achieve true personal wellness and empowerment. In this episode, we discuss Pooja's own journey of self-reflection, what real self-care looks like, and how to align with your internal goals. Don't miss this interview where we talk about:The misconception that happiness and confidence automatically come with checking all of the boxes of successPooja's experiences during her medical residency, the hypocrisies she discovered within the field that made her question her path, and how she returned to medicine on her own termsHow you cannot rely on external solutions to fix internal problems, and that healing and growth arises from self-reflection What inspired Pooja to write her book and how she's found her audienceHow true self-care comes from knowing yourself and your values, and involves making decisions that honor those values even if it's difficult to do soFind Pooja Lakshmin:www.poojalakshmin.comIG: @poojalakshminLinkedIn: Pooja Lakshmin, MDFollow Lydia:www.lydiafenet.comIG: @lydiafenetLinkedIn: Lydia Fenet

If you've ever found yourself scouring the internet to find the newest craze that claims to help you achieve inner balance, you aren't alone. In her best-selling book Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included), Dr. Pooja Lakshmin highlights the pervasiveness of faux self-care practices in our day-to-day lives and provides real ways for readers to improve their wellbeing. A psychiatrist specializing in women's mental health, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University School of Medicine, a New York Times contributor, and the founder and CEO of Gemma, a physician-led women's mental health education platform, Pooja is dedicated to helping others achieve true personal wellness and empowerment. In this episode, we discuss Pooja's own journey of self-reflection, what real self-care looks like, and how to align with your internal goals. Don't miss this interview where we talk about: The misconception that happiness and confidence automatically come with checking all of the boxes of success Pooja's experiences during her medical residency, the hypocrisies she discovered within the field that made her question her path, and how she returned to medicine on her own terms How you cannot rely on external solutions to fix internal problems, and that healing and growth arises from self-reflection  What inspired Pooja to write her book and how she's found her audience How true self-care comes from knowing yourself and your values, and involves making decisions that honor those values even if it's difficult to do so Find Pooja Lakshmin: www.poojalakshmin.com IG: @poojalakshmin LinkedIn: Pooja Lakshmin, MD Follow Lydia: www.lydiafenet.com IG: @lydiafenet LinkedIn: Lydia Fenet Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/ClaimYourConfidencePodcast If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/ClaimYourConfidencePodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're off this holiday week, but we thought it would be fun to share a rerun of our most anticipated books of 2023, which originally aired on December 27, 2022. This week, Liberty and Patricia discuss Big Swiss, Chain-Gang All-Stars, Real Self-Care, and more books they're excited to read in 2023! Give the gift of Tailored Book Recommendations! And follow All the Books! using RSS, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify and never miss a book. And sign up for the weekly New Books! newsletter for even more new book news. This content contains affiliate links. When you buy through these links, we may earn an affiliate commission. BOOKS DISCUSSED ON THE SHOW: Everybody Knows by Jordan Harper The Body Liberation Project: How Understanding Racism and Diet Culture Helps Cultivate Joy and Build Collective Freedom by Chrissy King Big Swiss by Jen Beagin Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, MD I Have Some Questions for You by Rebecca Makkai The Terraformers by Annalee Newitz Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah “You Just Need to Lose Weight” and 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon House of Cotton by Monica Brashears Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab Quietly Hostile: Essays by Samantha Irby Falling Back in Love with Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls by Kai Cheng Thom My Murder by Katie Williams Transitional: In One Way or Another, We All Transition by Munroe Bergdorf The Deep Sky by Yume Kitasei My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron For a complete list of books discussed in this episode, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our second look back over 2023 we hear from Sarah Knight, Dr Pooja Lakshmin, Dr Hazel Wallace and Dr Alex George. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"You can't meditate yourself out of a 40-hour work week with no childcare and no paid sick days," says Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. But when you're overworked and overwhelmed, what can you do? On this episode, host B.A. Parker asks: What are your options when a bubble bath won't cut it?

Self-care - it's both a profoundly important concept for our physical and mental well-being - a radical step in a culture that demands ever more of us, and it's a phenomenon that has been trivialized by the wellness world - and any number of influencers and companies that suggest a bubble bath and a candle is enough for what stresses us. But real self care is so much more - it's an inside job, as my guest  Pooja Lakshmin, MD, shares with us. A-psychiatrist, author, and the founder of Gemma Pooja shares her journey from disillusionment in mainstream medicine to a unique commune experience, leading to her mission of redefining self-care in her new book, "Real Self-Care.” In today's episode we discuss:  The turning point that led Pooja to drop out her medical residency training program and nd explore alternative paths. Pooja's surprising decision to join an orgasmic meditation commune in San Francisco, the eventual decision to leave, and the lessons she learned. Her personal mental health struggles, including depression and thoughts of suicide.  The pivotal moment that motivated her to return to residency and pursue her calling. The nuances between genuine self-care and the commodified wellness industry, clarifying that the book does not dismiss common self-care practices but challenges their commodification. The three common reasons people turn to self-care and how these dynamics manifest in her life and the lives of her patients. The principles of real self-care and the importance of internal processes, emphasizing the role of boundaries and their significance in fostering genuine well-being. The intersection of privilege and self-care, especially for mothers juggling multiple responsibilities. The systemic issues causing stress, reframing the conversation from burnout to betrayal and the societal pressures for perfection  The importance of embracing "good enough., balancing excellence with realistic expectations. How positive psychology methods contribute to individual change and reshape the wellness narrative The challenges of balancing motherhood, professional responsibilities, and real self care. Please share the love by sending this to someone in your life who could benefit from the kinds of things we talk about in this space. Make sure to follow me on Instagram @dr.avivaromm to join the conversation. Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements Practitioners - you can also learn how to create your own accounts at https://us.fullscript.com/practitioner-signup/AVIVA

There's a certain exhaustion, resentment, shame that comes from thinking with thinking we can do all the things. This conversation with my dear friend & pioneer on reinvention & igniting the fire inside you, Diane Schroeder, will help spark your light. Diane spent two decades in the fire service, it's all she ever knew, it's the job her father had & it became her identity. She used her lowest point where fear, unworthiness, and shame were constant companions in her journey & has written herself a permission slip to reinvent herself in a way that feels true to her. She's using the tools that she used & sharing them with the world through speaking,  her podcast, and community building. In this kitchen table conversation, Diane & I, unpack:Martyr Syndrome (how we've both struggled with the overcommitting & the tools we've both used to put bumper lanes in place)The loneliness that happens when you grow Power of looking for the lesson (Diane gives us this mic drop moment: you don't learn when you get there, you learn along the way) Referenced In This Episode: Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin: @poojalakshmin My Conversation With Diane On Her Podcast: Fire Inside Her (Corporate Burnout To Soulful Awakening)Follow Diane: Fire Inside Her Website: fireinsideher.com LinkedIn: @dianeschroder5Instagram: @therealfireinherKeep Connected With Our Tribe:Instagram: @megan.b.millerLinkedIn: @meganmillerintention 

We're in Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa Countdown! To keep you company while you slowly lose your mind, we're re-running some of our favorite holiday episodes. This week we're revisiting "The Most Everything Time of the Year" and how the intensity really ratches up as soon as Thanksgiving is behind us. Are you juggling “dress as your favorite reindeer” day at preschool with frantic texts from your sister-in-law asking what your spouse wants for Christmas? Are you feeling like hiding under the covers instead of hitting the office holiday party?  It's the most everything time of the year, and women report the holidays as being far more stressful than men do.  In this episode we discuss how to manage the holiday stress, how to accept the non-cozy feelings that may arise, and why it's okay to dial back if you're really not feeling the holiday spirit.  Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Pooja Lakshmin on Instagram @womensmentalhealthdoc Greenberg Quinlan Rosner Research: Holiday Stress Harvard Medical School: A holiday advisory for your emotions Cedars-Sinai Hospital: Depression and Anxiety Around the Holidays We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're joined by Dr. Ricky Fernandez, a seasoned burnout coach and Doctor of Physical Therapy.Ricky brings his expertise to the table, discussing the ins and outs of burnout in the healthcare sector, its impact on personal and professional lives, and how to effectively combat it. If you're feeling the weight of stress and burnout, this episode is a must-listen!In This Episode, We Discuss:Understanding burnout: What it is and how it affects healthcare workers.Strategies for managing stress and establishing boundaries in a demanding field.The power of mindset in overcoming professional and personal challenges.Long-term approaches to creating a fulfilling career in healthcare.Connect with Dr. Ricky Fernandez:Instagram: @ricky_theburnoutcoachJoin his Facebook Group for support: Beat Burnout and Eliminate Chronic StressEmail: rickytheburnoutcoach@gmail.comBook: 'Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness' by Pooja Lakshmin

In this latest installment of our For The Love of Therapy series, we delve into a timely discussion on mental wellness with a focus on genuine self-care. Our guest, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a renowned psychiatrist and advocate for women, offers fresh insights that urge listeners to break free from the superficial beauty and wellness industry's narrative that is steadily being pushed at us through all kinds of media, but in a dizzying fashion on social media, in particular. Steering the talk away from quick-fix solutions, Dr. Lakshmin illuminates the essence of true self-care, which, in her research, links to four major chambers rarely associated with this concept. From the importance of saying 'No' when overwhelmed, to understanding that self-care is more than just a beauty regimen, she reminds us that wellness comes from within. Dr. Lakshmin, an accomplished writer for the New York Times and founder of the Gemma community, also shares insights from her book, 'Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)'. Join us for this enlightening conversation and let's start redefining what wellness truly means.  * * * Thank you to our sponsors! Chime | Visit chime.com/forthelove to learn how you can benefit from using Chime! BetterHelp | Visit betterhelp.com/forthelove to save 10% on your first month! Thought-Provoking Quotes: “We have to talk about the systems, the social structures that have gotten us to this place where the expectation for a woman, a mom to feel better is this very condescending, ‘well just go to a yoga class, just pour your bubble bath and a glass of wine and there… you'll feel better.' I find that to be condescending at best, manipulative at worst.” - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin “Real self-care is an internal process. It brings you closer to yourself. It's a verb. It's not a noun.” - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin “Guilt is just there all the time when it comes to boundaries and when it comes to compassion too; how we talk to ourselves.“ - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin  “Therapy is this cozy little corner where you can be with yourself and be curious.” - Dr. Pooja Lakshmin  Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Real Self-Care: A  Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin Audre Lorde Bell Hooks Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself - by Melody Beattie For the Love Podcast episode featuring Brené Brown For the Love Premium Bonus Podcast episode featuring Melodie Beatty  Gemma Guest's Links: Dr. Pooja Lakshmin's Website Dr. Pooja Lakshmin's Twitter Dr. Pooja Lakshmin's Instagram Dr. Pooja Lakshmin's Facebook Connect with Jen! Jen's website Jen's InstagramJen's Twitter Jen's FacebookJen's YouTube

It's not that Dr. Pooja Lakshmin has something against scented candles. In fact, she thinks they can be quite pleasant. It's just that purchasing candles or bubble baths or winery tours are not really self-care, they're just consumerism. This is indicated in the title of her book, Real Self Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included). Dr. Lakshmin says a more satisfying and beneficial approach to self-care has four principles: boundaries, compassion, values, and power.Dr. Pooja LakshminThank you to all our listeners who support the show as monthly members of Maximum Fun.Check out our I'm Glad You're Here and Depresh Mode merchandise at the brand new merch website MaxFunStore.com!Hey, remember, you're part of Depresh Mode and we want to hear what you want to hear about. What guests and issues would you like to have covered in a future episode? Write us at depreshmode@maximumfun.org.Help is available right away.The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-8255, 1-800-273-TALKCrisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741.International suicide hotline numbers available here: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlinesThe Depresh Mode newsletter is available twice a week. Subscribe for free and stay up to date on the show and mental health issues. https://johnmoe.substack.com/John's acclaimed memoir, The Hilarious World of Depression, is now available in paperback. https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250209566/thehilariousworldofdepressionFind the show on Twitter @depreshpod and Instagram @depreshpod.John is on Twitter @johnmoe.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit rethinkingwellness.substack.comIn this bonus episode, psychiatrist and REAL SELF-CARE author Pooja Lakshmin returns to discuss how to tune in to your inner voice—and why that process isn't as simple as it might seem. Plus, in a special segment for paid subscribers, Christy answers a question about how to avoid comparisons and start noticing your own inner voice specifically when it comes to food and your body.Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a psychiatrist and author, the founder of the women's mental health platform Gemma, and a contributor to The New York Times. Her new book, REAL SELF-CARE: Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble-Baths Not Included, a national bestseller, has been featured by Good Morning America, NPR's Code Switch, The New York Times, Vox, The Guardian, and translated into 8 languages. Pooja serves as a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University School of Medicine, and maintains an active private practice where she treats women struggling with burnout, perfectionism, and disillusionment, as well as clinical conditions like depression, anxiety and ADHD. She frequently speaks, advises and consults for organizations on mental health, well-being, and real self-care for employee wellness and for brand social impact initiatives. Her clients include Peloton, LinkedIn, TheNew York Times, 23andMe, Edelman, Pearson, McKinsey, Memorial Sloan Kettering and more. Learn more about her work at poojalakshmin.com.This episode is for paid subscribers. Listen to a free preview here, and sign up for a paid subscription to hear the full episode!Christy's new book, The Wellness Trap, is now available wherever books are sold! Order it online or ask for it in your favorite local bookstore.If you're looking to make peace with food and break free from diet and wellness culture, come check out Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course.

Psychiatrist and REAL SELF-CARE author Pooja Lakshmin joins us to discuss her experiences with faux self-care and toxic wellness culture, her definition of real self-care and how it can fit into your life, the importance of setting boundaries (and what that actually looks like), how to tell if you need self-care or professional help, and more.Dr. Pooja Lakshmin MD is a psychiatrist and author, the founder of the women's mental health platform Gemma, and a contributor to The New York Times. Her new book, REAL SELF-CARE: Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble-Baths Not Included, a national bestseller, has been featured by Good Morning America, NPR's Code Switch, The New York Times, Vox, The Guardian, and translated into 8 languages. Pooja serves as a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University School of Medicine, and maintains an active private practice where she treats women struggling with burnout, perfectionism, and disillusionment, as well as clinical conditions like depression, anxiety and ADHD. She frequently speaks, advises and consults for organizations on mental health, well-being, and real self-care for employee wellness and for brand social impact initiatives. Her clients include Peloton, LinkedIn, TheNew York Times, 23andMe, Edelman, Pearson, McKinsey, Memorial Sloan Kettering and more. Learn more about her work at poojalakshmin.com, and subscribe to her fabulous Therapy Takeaway newsletter on Substack. If you like this conversation, subscribe to hear lots more like it!Support the podcast by becoming a paid subscriber, and unlock great perks like bonus episodes, subscriber-only Q&As, early access to regular episodes, community threads, and much more. Learn more and sign up at rethinkingwellness.substack.com.Christy's new book, The Wellness Trap, is now available wherever books are sold! Order it online or ask for it in your favorite local bookstore.If you're looking to make peace with food and break free from diet and wellness culture, come check out Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit rethinkingwellness.substack.com/subscribe

You can also listen to this episode on Spotify! is a pediatrician and public health leader who has lived with bipolar disorder for the last 13 years. She has served on Stanford's faculty and trained at Harvard Medical School and Johns Hopkins. She's a firm believer that life's trials and tribulations not only improve our self-awareness, they help us flourish. While serving as California's Acting Surgeon General last year, Dr. Bhushan publicly revealed her diagnosis in an effort to reduce stigma and spread hope for people suffering with mental illness:I believe that our struggles can be the source of our superpowers. They can show us our capacity for vulnerability and strength, and that we can endure and overcome hard things.Through her popular newsletter, Ask Dr Devika B, she is growing a community to help break down the stigma associated with mental illness. As she says, "Stigma festers in the dark and scatters in the light.”On this episode of Beyond the Prescription, Dr. Bhushan shares her advice for mental wellbeing. The two doctors also discuss the complex roots of emotional distress; the shame around mental health diagnoses; and the possibility of post-traumatic growth.Join Dr. McBride every other Monday for a new episode of Beyond the Prescription.You can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on her Substack at https://lucymcbride.substack.com/podcast. You can sign up for her free weekly newsletter at lucymcbride.substack.com/welcome.Please be sure to like, rate, and review the show!The transcript of the show is here![00:00:00] Dr. Lucy McBride: Hello, and welcome to my office. I'm Dr. Lucy McBride, and this is Beyond the Prescription, the show where I talk with my guests like I do my patients, pulling the curtain back on what it means to be healthy, redefining health as more than the absence of disease. As a primary care doctor, I've realized that patients are more than their cholesterol and their weight. We are the integrated sum of complex parts. I'm here to help people tell their story and for you to imagine and potentially get healthier from the inside out. You can subscribe to my free weekly newsletter at lucymcbride.substack.com and to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. So let's get into it and go beyond the prescription. [00:01:02] Today I'm joined by the amazing Dr. Devika Bhushan. Devika is a pediatrician and public health leader who has lived with bipolar disorder for the last 13 years. Devika served as California's acting Surgeon General in 2022, where she focused on initiatives around equity, resilience, and innovation. She's a firm believer that our trials and tribulations can help us flourish, and she's learned this through her own experience living with mental illness. Today we will talk about what it's like to face a mental health diagnosis and the individually oriented lessons she's learned along the way. Devika, thank you so much for joining me today.[00:01:42] Dr. Devika Bhushan: It's so great to be here with you, Lucy. Thanks for having me.[00:01:46] LM: So in your op ed for the LA Times last year, you wrote some pretty powerful words. You said, I believe that our struggles can be the source of our superpowers. They can show us our capacity for vulnerability and strength, and that we can endure and overcome hard things. Can you expand on that a little bit? What do you mean by our struggles being our superpowers?[00:02:11] DB: So my toddler, his name is Rumi. And so it's very apt. I'm going to borrow a quote from Rumi. The wound is the place where the light enters us, and this also hearkens on this Japanese tradition whereby when a ceramic bowl breaks rather than throwing it away, they will actually patch it back together with gold.[00:02:37] And so at the end of that break, what you're left with is a stronger bowl, a more unique bowl, and a more beautiful bowl. And I firmly believe that when you have a chance to walk through a really difficult time in your life, whether that's because of mental illness, whether it's physical health, whether it is an early experience of adversity, whatever it might be, I firmly believe that once you have emerged through that, and walked through it and come out the other side, you become much more self aware, number one. You know exactly where you're able to stretch and flex and accommodate and where you're going to break. Right. And so that knowledge when you acquire it is something that will never leave you and will always make you a better whatever you decide to do after that. [00:03:29] So, for instance, like for me, I know that. I can endure a lot. But one thing that my brain, and anybody with bipolar disorder's brain, might not be able to tolerate is actually a lot of circadian rhythm shifts. So, for instance, when I was in residency training, I didn't really internalize this. The fact that I should, from the get go, be really careful about day night switches, about 28 hour calls.[00:03:53] And I learned the hard way that those experiences led me to have mood episodes that required me to be out for three months, two months and really struggle to find an equilibrium again. And so that's number one, right? Like you learn exactly what you're capable of and what you cannot do, where your boundaries need to be as a person.[00:04:13] Number two, I think you learn that there are superpowers that come from enduring really difficult things. So for me, one of those is that I'm a really deep empath and I really understand other people's struggles and vulnerabilities in a way that I don't think I would have if I hadn't had such deep and dark experiences of my own.[00:04:36] And so when, you know, when I was a practicing pediatrician sitting with patients, sitting with families, walking through very challenging things, I could connect with how they were feeling and sometimes give them lessons from my own experiences when those were relevant in a way that really helped me be a better pediatrician. And I similarly found that when team members of mine, when I was the leader of a team, when folks would go through stuff in their own personal lives that was difficult, and impacted their work because we're all human beings first, and whatever's happening for us at home or outside of the work context does show up for us at work, I was able to connect again with what they were going through and help them make the space for whatever that was in a way that maybe a leader who hadn't had their own struggles wouldn't have been able to do. So I think on both of those levels, people don't always, acknowledge or talk about the ways in which struggles lead to superpowers.[00:05:39] But that's a firm sort of belief of mine. And when I'm, for instance, interviewing podcast guests of my own on my podcast called spread the light with Dr. David Gabby, also published in my substack. One of the questions I always ask people is, “So how do you feel like this experience led to your unique strengths or superpowers?”[00:06:00] And people always love reframing their experiences and distilling those strengths down for people. And I'll tell you, when I published my LA Times op ed, which you quoted from, that was the line that people most resonated with. And that was a line where people specifically said to me sometimes, “You know what? I never thought about my chronic PTSD or my... OCD or my borderline personality disorder as giving rise to these superpowers that I have. But you are so right. That's exactly how I experienced this. So I think it's a very empowering frame and it's an important one,[00:06:35] LM: I think you're right. And I think mental health is having this moment, rightly so in the popular vocabulary, right? We've been talking about the mental health toll of the pandemic. We've been talking about the, the grief, the loss, the trauma people have experienced. And I think it's fantastic that we're finally identifying mental health as part of whole health.[00:06:59] I think sometimes though people are confused about what mental health means or what it is. And I think sometimes we think that mental health means that you're happy or mental health means that you're content, mental health means you're not anxious And so I'm very clear with my patients and with my own kids and hopefully with myself as well, that mental health is really about that laddering up from self awareness that you described to acceptance of the things We can't control like we cannot control, for example, genetic predisposition towards bipolar disorder or breast cancer or what have you, and then leaning into the agency that we have and so mental health to me is really about self awareness.[00:07:45] It's about sort of an understanding of where we can flex, where we have that extra Reserve and then where we need to hold a boundary. And so I think it's important to recognize what health, what mental health is. It's about having the resilience, the self awareness to weather the storms that inevitably come our way.[00:08:06] It's not about being happy all the time. Happiness is great. We're not against happiness. We're all for happiness. I'm believer in contentedness, but I think it's those tools and that we have to get sometimes the hard way that are the most kind of beautiful and that the things we don't often count in our kind of resume of life skills.[00:08:25] And I also want to say that Rumi is an old soul. Clearly he understands that even at two years old, when we break is when we repair as well… can shed some wisdom on our resilience. So let's talk about kids for a minute. So in your role as the acting Surgeon General in California, you did quite a lot of work on adverse childhood experiences or ACEs.[00:08:49] And many people who are listening understand that there's an abundant amount of literature about the effect of adverse childhood experiences or ACEs on social, emotional, mental, and physical health issues later in life. So some of those are my patients, people who have had some sort of childhood experience of neglect, abuse, trauma, that shows up in their bodies in the form of hypertension, an anxiety disorder, binge eating. Our stories live in our bodies. And I commonly try to help patients with various physical problems by looking back at what happened, what's behind the curtain that we can then kind of connect to their current physical state. And it's often the case that a patient who's struggling with binge eating disorder and diabetes gets better when we put them on metformin and we get them in trauma therapy to work on kind of pulling the curtain back on what happened.[00:09:48] And helping them understand that hypervigilance that was organized around a traumatic childhood experience shows up later in life. And that's, I mean, that's the most kind of fun part of my job, if you will. So adverse childhood experiences show up as social, emotional, mental, and physical health problems in patients later in life. And so I'd love to hear about your work on adverse childhood experiences and do you agree with me that they show up in our bodies, that our stories live in our bodies?[00:10:18] DB: That is such a beautiful way to put that. And I could not agree more. Our experiences, whether positive or negative, end up living in our bodies, and they end up living in our bodies at a cellular level, at a organismal or organ level, um, systems level, and even for all, for the whole body, right, the whole system.[00:10:39] And what we recognized around ACEs, so all of the folks listening, are probably well acquainted with this term, but these are essentially 10 experiences that are really difficult before you turn 18 years. So child abuse, neglect, growing up in a household where maybe somebody had an untreated mental illness, intimate partner violence between adults in the home, things of this nature.[00:11:02] And basically what happens is that you're exposed over and over again to a threat and a stressor that is extreme. And so your threat response system and your stress response systems end up being activated and have trouble getting regulated and have trouble turning back off. And what happens is that can change the way that your brain develops, your hormonal cascades, your immune system, even your genes and the parts of your genes that regulate cellular aging.[00:11:34] So those are called telomeres for those who are aware of this term and familiar with it. And so, you know, when you look at a population level, there is this dose response relationship between the number of ACEs you've had and all sorts of health outcomes, anything from cancer to heart disease to, of course, mental and behavioral health disorders.[00:11:53] There's about 60 or more health conditions that you're at risk for. But equally, we know that being really intentional about turning off the stress response and using that, just as you mentioned, as part of the treatment plan for a patient who's coming in with a history of trauma and let's say diabetes or heart disease. If you are not intentionally looking at that toxic stress response that's in the background that has been with them potentially for years since their childhood and you're not specifically intervening on that toxic stress response, then you're leaving part of the physiology on the table. [00:12:32] So the ACEs Aware initiative, which we launched at the end of 2019, just before some of the biggest traumatic events of our lives were to unfold during the pandemic, the plan there was to really help health care workers of all kinds understand toxic stress physiology. And so, you know, there's a lot of talk about ACE screening, whether, you know, universal ACE screening is worth it on an individual level.[00:12:59] We know all of this stuff is true at the population level, that ACEs will put you at risk for these health conditions, that sometimes the link gets lost. So the point of ACEs Aware Initiative is not, in fact, to say, do you have ACEs or do you not have ACEs? It is actually to say, hey, are you coming in with health conditions and symptoms today that are rooted in a toxic stress response? And if so, if you're at risk for a toxic stress response, how can we specifically cater your healthcare to be more individualized, and to not only give you the metformin for your diabetes, but also to help you understand that trauma therapy, as you mentioned, or anti inflammatory nutrition, or certain exercise habits, sleep habits, connection, etc., that there are these other evidence based behavioral strategies that we have in our toolkits as healthcare providers, as individuals that we can start to use to specifically turn off the toxic stress response as a way of treating somebody. [00:14:02] And so that, that message of hope is, I think, really important because we often talk about ACEs as posing risk for health, but we don't spend equal time sometimes talking about the fact that we do have these evidence based tools for enacting resilience if you do have toxic stress. In other words, toxic stress is preventable. And once it's in place, it's very treatable. And so that was the overall mission that we were working on at the ACEs Aware Initiative.[00:14:31] LM: I love it. And then on top of it, there is the opportunity to make meaning and to find out where you can flex and where you need boundaries based on the self awareness from the work you might need to do on your toxic stress. So, let's talk about your childhood. Do you look back, Devika, on your childhood and see threads of your bipolar illness that predated the actual diagnosis? And, you know, to the extent you want to share that, I mean, how do you make sense of things that may have happened to you, good and bad, and the evolution of your mental health story? [00:15:10] DB: It's a really important question. As we know, most people who have mental health symptoms, it's most common to start to have the first symptoms when you are in your teenage years or in your early 20s. And for me, my very first symptoms happened when I was in medical school. I didn't have any kind of sign of mental health instability or any kind of mental health symptom when I was growing up. I did have a very unusual childhood in some ways. So I spent… my first 21 years about a third in three different countries. So the first one was India, which is where my family is from originally and where my majority of my family actually still lives.[00:15:52] So we started there. I was seven when I left India, and then we came to the US for a few years where my parents were grad students here. Very stressful set of circumstances financially and otherwise. And then we went to the Philippines for my parents' jobs, which were in health and development. And we didn't know anyone in the Philippines when we first arrived, and we were supposed to have spent three years just trying it on for size.[00:16:18] And my parents ended up spending over 20 years there. So it was a big part of our lives and big part of their careers. And so, within each one of those countries, even there was a lot of moves. So by the time I was in fifth grade, I was 11, but I had been to seven schools in three countries. So there was a lot of changes and a lot of transitions and a lot of figuring out who I was culturally, you know, where I belonged.[00:16:45] There were these kind of deep existential questions taking place, although I will say my four person family, so it's my sister and I and two parents are a very close knit unit, and so that unit kept us grounded and it made us feel like we were in home, wherever we were and you know, that, that made all the difference because I think I felt very grounded growing up despite the fact that things were changing on us so often.[00:17:14] And I felt like a lot of folks who have multiple cultural influences, multiple languages. I grew up speaking Hindi, then had to learn English and. You know, uh, the whole, uh, getting made fun of for my accent in the U S and trying to get rid of that accent overnight, you know, all of those different pieces of like, am I Indian? Am I American? Do I have influences from the Philippines, but I'm not quite Filipino, even though I've spent so many years here, there's all of that stuff growing up, but I will say kind of back to your question, nothing that really would qualify as a mental health symptom, just sort of common experiences around moves and cultural identity that I think anyone would have with a similar set of circumstances.[00:17:59] And it wasn't until I hit medical school, as I was saying, I was 23 and my first symptoms were of the depressive variety. And I didn't have a family history of bipolar disorder. I didn't have a personal history of either hypomania or mania. And so it looked for all the world, like garden variety, unipolar depression, right?[00:18:19] And I was treated with antidepressants, which ended up over the course of three years, not working and making my brain worse, which is typical when a brain is on the bipolar spectrum. So often what'll happen is you'll induce sort of the little bit of activation that's not recognized. It's actually hypomania in retrospect, but might just look like anxiety on top of the depression, right?[00:18:42] And that's essentially what happened to me. I had about three years where I was on the wrong meds. And I tried 20 different meds, you know, in that span of time. And luckily, you know, three years in, I was on three different activating meds and had a frank manic episode. And that really saved my life because it allowed people to understand that I was somebody who had a bipolar spectrum disorder rather than a unipolar depression with anxiety on top of it, which was the working hypothesis.[00:19:12] And that led me to have the right condition diagnosed and also the right treatments then in place, which, which really, really truly saved my life.[00:19:21] LM: I want to interrupt you to say, well, I don't want to interrupt you, but I would, I want to say thank you for sharing that because I think there are a lot of people, I don't know the number. I don't think we know the number of people who are suffering with bipolar disorder, who are called. Depression and anxiety, right?[00:19:39] I mean, depression and anxiety are extremely common conditions. You know, certainly if people have enough depression, they can be anxious about it. If people have enough anxiety, they can get depressed. But I do think there is a subset of people who are inappropriately treated who actually are on that spectrum and they didn't have that manic moment or the doctor to understand that's what that was.[00:20:02] And then they get further medicated and then sort of down a pathway that isn't appropriate for their diagnosis. So, I mean, did you have trouble recognizing sort of activation, the activation driven by the antidepressant that was then maybe the beginnings of your, of mania? Or did your doctor, like, did it go for a long time without being recognized? Or how did you make sense of those initial failures of the antidepressants?[00:20:30] DB: It was much more clear in retrospect, you know, we had these three years where I did not feel like myself and I wasn't, you know, depressed for all of that time. At some points I was, you know, hypomanic where I might have been euphoric, right? And just tripping too quickly in terms of the energy and the thought processes.[00:20:49] Or I had periods where I was hypomanic, but in a sort of dysthymic state of mind, meaning I was just activated and energetic, but I was irritable and angry and anxious. And it wasn't really recognized. Now in retrospect, it's very clear that, okay, all of that was hypomania. But at the time, when you're dealing with, you know, a 23 or 24 or 25 year old, because I crossed all of those numbers as we were seeking treatment, it just felt like, okay, this person is not responding to treatment.[00:21:24] And as a patient, you feel very vilified because the statistics will tell us that most people with bipolar 2 disorder end up having symptoms that are mistreated for an average 11 years from the first time they're symptomatic to the time that they get the right treatment in place. And I was lucky that mine was only three years, but I will tell you, they were the hardest three years of my life, like, I was considering dropping out of med school, I didn't think I could hack it, I thought it was something about medicine, potentially, that was kind of triggering these symptoms that I'd never faced before, I was also pretty convinced that, like, the person that I thought I was pre symptoms, was completely gone, inaccessible, lost.[00:22:11] Like, I would never find that person again. That I was just somehow stuck in this place of unwellness. And I think that's something that most people who have ever had any mental health symptoms can really relate to. Like, in the midst of it, you feel like you are never gonna be well again. And whoever you once were is no longer a person that you can access. I think that is the hardest part when I look back at that period of my life of true terror that I was never going to be myself again.[00:22:39] LM: There's so many things I want to react to that with. First and foremost is deep gratitude for saying that because I think as I talk to patients with mental health issues, as I talk to family members with mental health issues, as I've talked to my myself when I've been struggling with mental health myself, there is this hijacking of our own brains that happens where you [become convinced that you're never going to feel good again.[00:23:03] You're never going to feel okay. You're never going to be that person that you thought you were. And it's terrifying. And I think to see someone like you, Devika, who is, I mean, beautiful, healthy, accomplished mother and physician, it just gives people hope that this is not a death sentence. That it truly is a hijacking of your brain that is not a permanent condition and that you can get better.[00:23:32] I think it's important for people to realize that if they are getting treated for depression or anxiety and they're not getting better, not getting better. You need to ask the question, is there something else going on? I mean, 11 years is too long for people to get a diagnosis. Bipolar 2 is not a zebra.[00:23:47] I don't know the stats on the commonality of it. I don't know because I don't think we probably have accurate statistics at all. I mean, because it takes 11 years to get the diagnosis, but I know from my own experience seeing patients, I will commonly make a referral to a psychiatrist when I, for example, have tried my patient on Lexapro for what seems like unipolar depression and they're not better, or they have a little bit of an uptick in their energy, irritability, and then we ask the question.[00:24:12] Because for people who are listening, a diagnosis of bipolar one or two, which are a bit different, we can talk about that, opens the door to another set of medications for treatment. This is one of the things I worry about with online, kind of drive through kind of mental health startups. I mean, I think it's great that people are getting better access, but I worry that we are bucketing people into depression, anxiety, depression, anxiety, when sure there's a lot of depression. There's a lot of anxiety, but first of all, do we need to medicalize all of it? I'm not sure. And secondly, are we making the right diagnosis in the first place?[00:24:46] Such important points. You know, I think just stepping back, like, from the data, you're absolutely right. There's a whole variety of studies that have been done with differing prevalence rates of bipolar 1 and bipolar 2, depending on sort of what is counted. And it's very common within the bipolar spectrum for you to receive let's say one kind of diagnosis. I was initially diagnosed as bipolar not otherwise specified, which is sort of a soft call it's like somewhere in the on the spectrum. We don't exactly know where and then as people's lives go on you end up realizing like okay You've now had a manic episode off of antidepressants let's say, and now you qualify for bipolar one rather than bipolar two, so there's a lot of shifting along the spectrum and that makes it hard to assess and get true prevalence rates. there's a meta analysis that came out now about 10 years ago, and they said that 2.[00:25:32] There's a meta analysis that came out now about 10 years ago, and they said that 2.6 percent of the population will meet criteria for bipolar one or two at any given time. But that's not counting the other parts of the spectrum, which we now know is also a sizable portion. But, you know, with depression, when people come in for a first time depressive episode, one in three of them. will end up being on the bipolar spectrum.[00:25:59] And so if primary care doctors know this, if, you know, other kinds of healthcare providers know this, then we can start to turn the tide on that statistic of 11 years for bipolar 2, and it's shorter for bipolar 1 because it's much more obvious when someone has a manic episode, whereas hypomania can be a little bit more, it can cloak itself as anxiety as you said, and other symptoms that are harder to diagnose.[00:26:23] LM: So what prompted you to be public about this? I mean, it's a pretty big move. I mean, there's a lot of stigma around mental illness, even though it is having a moment. There's a lot of misunderstanding about what bipolar is. I mean, I think people throw that word around a lot. Like, Oh, she's so moody and crazy.[00:26:40] She's so bipolar as a derogatory term. You know, we used to call it manic depression. I think patients associate bipolar disorder with someone who's driving a stolen Ferrari a hundred miles an hour down the highway. And then someone who's standing on a ledge about to jump. And there's so much more nuance there.[00:26:58] There's people in our lives. These are people who are functioning, who are parents, community members, people we know. I think it's, it's very brave of you to come forward as you and I were talking about before we started recording, particularly in a public role, like you had as the acting surgeon general in California, I mean, you're out there. So I'm just going to ask you, what is it that prompted you to go public? And what has that been like?[00:27:25] DB: I was serving in the role of acting surgeon general in a moment in time when everybody was struggling with something, right? We had been in the pandemic for two years plus at that point. And we all, at that moment, knew somebody who was truly struggling, or we were that person ourselves. And so I felt like it was a really important moment to publicly own my story on a couple of different levels.[00:27:53] One, to help everyone realize, like, you can walk through a really difficult period of your life and think that you can never bounce back from that, but actually walk through it and then, on the other end, be able to fulfill your own dreams, right, personally, professionally. At a point in my life, I thought I'm never going to have a career.[00:28:16] I'm never going to be a parent. I'm never going to be a stable partner. But to recognize that even a really stigmatized mental health diagnosis like bipolar disorder, and it does carry a very loaded set of stereotypes with it, that even that, you know, you can look back at your hardest moments and say, those were in my past.[00:28:36] And... The last 10 years or more, I've been well for the majority of them and now, you know, having figured out what it is that keeps me well, both behaviorally and medication wise, I can hope to be well for the rest of my life and I think that it's an important message because unfortunately, for instance, all of the people I know who are living well with bipolar disorder, there's a very small fraction of them who feel comfortable sharing that truth with their coworkers, with their  with the people in their lives beyond just a few.[00:29:11] And so, if we all live in secret, once we've figured out how to live well with this disorder, then we have a very skewed sample of who it is that has bipolar disorder and what that can look like. So number one, I wanted people to know that when you've got the right treatments and the other systems in place to stay well, you can do the things that you want to do in your life.[00:29:28] And then number two, I wanted to reach those people who were truly still in their hardest phases who are struggling to know that there is hope for a better tomorrow. That with the right treatments once more things can turn around very dramatically. And to have hope that can happen. And the way that it all came about, and I'll just say one quick other thing, which was NAMI California was having their annual conference and they invited me to keynote it and it felt like that would be the most authentic moment in which to share this journey. And I… same day also shared it in the LA times and online on social media. And I'm really glad that I did because in the wake of that, hundreds of people reached out to me with their stories of, I have been struggling and this meant so much to me where my son is in the hospital and I have hope now that he might be coming out and he'll be back to himself.[00:30:29] You know, it just, it really opened. the door to understanding that we all have this commonality. We all have known struggle or known someone who has struggled very intimately. And then also it helped me understand that I had a way of connecting to this community and join in on a few different advocacy projects, which have been really meaningful.[00:30:53] LM: I think that's incredible, and I think you're living proof that there is a better tomorrow, and that with treatment, that's not just medicine, it's behavioral, it's environmental, you can have hope.[00:31:06] DB: Yes.[00:31:07] LM: What do you think, Devika, is the most important element of your wellness? It sounds like you take medication, it sounds like you prioritize sleep, it sounds like you try to eat healthy and have boundaries. I mean, if you had like a pie chart for you, and this is going to be different for different people, but what occupies the biggest slice of pie? Is it the medicine? Is it the sleep? Is it self awareness? I mean, could you break it down a little bit?[00:31:35] DB: Yeah. There's a lot of elements of that pie. I think a big chunk of it, more than 25 percent is going to be connection and community, right? So the people that I rely on a daily basis to, to understand me, to support me, to have fun with me, to, you know, laugh with me. Those people keep me well in, in so many small and big ways, right?[00:31:58] And then the other pieces are the daily habits, the making sure I'm getting enough sleep. At night, I wear blue light blockers. These are orange glasses that supposedly filter out the majority of blue wavelength light, nightlight, or nighttime. And so sleep is a big part of my life. I really try to do a lot to protect it. I'll tell you one other thing. My husband tends to wake up if my son is awake in the middle of the night or early in the morning. And so that's one strategy that we've sort of got in place to help protect my sleep, which is really meaningful. [00:32:38] Food, you know, eating a variety of foods. I tend to have sort of a Mediterranean diet over the course of, you know, the day and really, find that important. Exercise… protecting my energy. So, you know, big events, for instance, where I'm spending a lot of time talking about myself, my journey in a conversation like this, it, it tends to be really meaningful and important and also deplete my energy.[00:33:07] And so I have to be really mindful of how I structure my weeks. So if I know I'm having a conversation like this, I'm going to try not to schedule too many other things in the next week or so. Right. And that gives me some time to sort of rest, decompressed, refill that cup, that energy cup and, and sort of be present and able to do what I need to do in the rest of my life.[00:33:31] And so just being really aware of what's happening for me mood wise, energy wise. Am I feeling that tension in my shoulders? Like, what can I do differently? Like if I have any red flag symptoms, like let's say I'm starting to feel a little bit on edge or irritable with folks. [00:33:46] One of my tells is I tend to respond too quickly and with too many messages on WhatsApp. And remember, my family lives sort of abroad, and so that's a big mechanism of contact. But if I'm doing that, that is often a tell that I'm starting to feel a little bit elevated. And just knowing what it is that I need to come bring to bear in those moments to try to reverse where I'm going mood wise and come back into sort of my baseline mode.[00:34:14] So it's a lot of kind of those maintenance mode things that we spoke about, but also recognizing red flag symptoms and then having a toolkit in place to intervene, whether that's up or down. And that looks different for different people.[00:34:28] LM: I mean, that is such good self awareness. I particularly like what you said about the energy allocation. You have this busy life, you're a pediatrician, you're a public health leader, you're writing, you're speaking. You're parenting, you're learning from your own two year old. I think women are, I mean, we are just, I think beyond capable and we're interested in so many different things, but I think, you know, that resonates a lot with me too, is this sort of notion of an energy budget.[00:35:00] Yes, we can do it all, but like, like with everything, there are trade offs, right? So I think that it's important that you're aware enough about yourself and your tank, where you are, of energy to sort of allocate it appropriately. And I wonder if you find like certain relationships you've had to sort of change or if you, or if there are boundaries that you've had to set.[00:35:22] I know that as I have gotten older, I just turned 50. That I'm a real empath. I love being around people. I also know when my energy is being drained either by a certain situation or a certain set of people. And it's not their fault. It's just, that's just the way my mind and body work together. And so I'm sort of more aware of who, what, where I can tend to over-expend energy and then when I need to pull back. I wonder if boundaries and relationships are something you think about yourself.[00:35:51] DB: A lot actually. And you know, it's one of those things that we as women are socialized to be very other oriented, to worry about other people's feelings, sometimes at the cost of our own health and wellbeing. And it's a lesson that I think I learned in my late thirties—I'm 37 now—to really honor my needs, my emotional needs, and sort of to know that with certain relationships. That there do have to be some boundaries in place and at the beginning when I first learned about this concept, you know in therapy, I thought, that's kind of I don't know how that's gonna work in an Indian family. Like we're so close. It's a very communal situation even when we're many miles apart.[00:36:38] There's this like very open expectation that you will be there and vice versa in lots of ways and the concept of a boundary felt culturally potentially inappropriate and what I realized was that I'm putting this boundary in place not to shut this person out of my life, right? Not to have this relationship wither and die, but actually to have a better relationship, where I'm not resentful of them… of something that they are asking of me that I'm not able to do. I realize like it's been such a powerful, game changing thing because I have closer relationships with those same people now because I'm aware of my own emotional needs and triggers and sort of what those boundaries really need to be.[00:37:24] Sometimes it's something simple like When I see them, I'm going to see them for this amount of time, and there won't be a chance for, you know, necessarily that build up. But it's been, yeah, it's been huge for me, as I imagine for you too, and for many of us who are listening.[00:37:39] LM: I mean, I think a lot of what you're talking about pertains to the human condition in general. I mean, I think certainly when you have bipolar illness and certainly when you figure out your kit of coping tools, that's essential. I also think for most of us, we need to be careful about our sleep, our exercise, our relationships saying no, kind of recognizing our internal sort of thoughts and feelings and who drains us and who energizes us and meeting our needs, especially as a physician, as a mother, I'm socialized and trained to be empathetic and I am, I think, intrinsically empathetic, maybe not all the time, but I think I am.[00:38:20] It is hard. It feels culturally inappropriate in my own family and as a physician, as a woman, to say no and to say, I'm so sorry, I can't do that. But I've also learned, like you, that I'm a better mother, sister, daughter, person when I am meeting my own needs, which is not selfish. It's the way I need to be healthy.[00:38:42] And, you know, sometimes you get it wrong, right? Sometimes you get it, like, sometimes you get it wrong. Sometimes you say no because that's what it felt right. And then you realize, oh, wow, that was actually... at my own expense, but I think that's something that we as women need to practice and I think it is part of a mental health coping kit is to recognize that our needs matter and then to try to practice establishing boundaries and saying no, and you know, we all know that feeling of when you're talking to somebody, whether it's a loved one or a patient or, and they're asking you to do something that doesn't feel quite right.[00:39:14] And you're thinking no, but then you end up saying yes, and then you're resentful and you can get angry and it's not their fault. We need to own that power and own that ability to say no.[00:39:24] DB: Absolutely. You know, I'm reading a friend's book right now… Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin. Yes. So I just finished the part about boundaries and two really insightful things that she has in there. One, don't over explain a boundary when you're giving it to somebody because then it seems like you're asking for permission, right?[00:39:45] And then number two, to your point, allow there to be a pause between the ask of you, and your response. And in that pause, you will figure out does this feel like the right thing to do? Does this feel like a yes but, or you know, a yes and situation? Or do I have more questions? Do I need to negotiate a different situation, right? Or do I need to say no? And you won't know that if you very quickly respond “yes” which is our gut instinct as women again, and taking that pause is where the boundary can actually emerge meaningfully.[00:40:19] LM: I think that's right. So what I'm hearing from you, Devika, is that your wellness is external. It's about sort of environmental, everything from your nightshades to your medications, to your therapy, to an internal kind of, checking in with yourself on your energy, on your relationships. It's about connection.[00:40:42] It's about feeling loved. It's about, it sounds like it's about feeling safe. And I mean, I think those are essential parts of health for all of us and it doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. We don't have to buy fancy leggings and show up with a personal trainer and have exotic supplements and be on a yoga retreat in Bali.[00:41:04] Although, you know, invite me with you if you're going to go, I think it really is about an internal sense of what we need, what we deserve and what, and how we relate to other people that is at the root of our mental health. So I want to just close by reading one more quote which I love from your LA times.[00:41:23] You said “by sharing my story, I hope to dispel stigma and internalize shame and to help anyone struggling, know that they are not alone. If you feel comfortable, consider shining a light on your story. Stigma festers in the dark and scatters in the light.” So, for anyone who's listening, who feels like writing, or talking to their friend, or their dog, or just their journal, about their story, I think it's important that we acknowledge that we all have vulnerabilities, we all have grief, we all have loss, we all have fears.[00:41:56] Some of us have mental illness, some of us have... You know, real relationship struggles. And I think that when we talk about them, we can then start to figure out the path forward. And so I just want to say, thank you so much, Devika, for sharing your story, for being such a role model and for teaching us the ways in which you stay well.[00:42:13] DB: Thank you so much, Lucy, for having me here and for the wonderful work that you do in your sub stack for the whole community. Really appreciate you.[00:42:28] LM: Thank you all for listening to Beyond the Prescription. Please don't forget to subscribe, like, download, and share the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you catch your podcasts. I'd be thrilled if you liked this episode to rate and review it. And if you have a comment or question, please drop us a line at info@lucymcbride.com. The views expressed on this show are entirely my own and do not constitute medical advice for individuals. That should be obtained from your personal physician. Get full access to Are You Okay? at lucymcbride.substack.com/subscribe

Love it or hate it, self-care has transformed from a radical feminist concept into a multibillion-dollar industry. But the wellness boom doesn't seem to be making a dent in Americans' stress levels. In 2021, 34 percent of women reported feeling burned out at work, along with 26 percent of men.Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a psychiatrist, has observed how wellness culture fails her patients, who she says are often burned out because of systemic failures, from the stresses that come with financial precariousness to the lack of paid family leave. In her book “Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included),” she encourages people to look beyond superficial fixes — the latest juice cleanses, yoga workshops, luxury bamboo sheets — to feel better. Instead, she argues that real self-care requires embracing internal work, which she outlines as four practices: setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, aligning your values and exercising power. Lakshmin argues that when you practice real self-care, you not only take care of yourself, but you can also plant the seeds for change in your community.In this conversation, the guest host, Tressie McMillan Cottom, and Lakshmin discuss how the pandemic opened up a larger conversation about parental burnout; how countries with more robust social safety nets frame care as a right, not a benefit; why it's fair to understand burnout as a type of societal “betrayal”; how to practice boundary-setting and why it can feel uncomfortable to do so; the convenient allure of “faux self-care”; and more.This episode was hosted by Tressie McMillan Cottom, a columnist for Times Opinion, a professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and the author of “Thick: And Other Essays.” Cottom also writes a newsletter for Times Opinion that offers a sociologist's perspective on culture, politics and the economics of our everyday lives.Mentioned:More information about Ezra's Jefferson Memorial Lecture“We Don't Need Self-Care; We Need Boundaries” by Pooja Lakshmin“How Society Has Turned Its Back on Mothers” by Pooja Lakshmin“Our Obsession With Wellness Is Hurting Teens — and Adults” by The Ezra Klein Show with Lisa Damour“A Legendary World Builder on Multiverses, Revolution and the ‘Souls' of Cities” by The Ezra Klein Show with N.K. JemisinBook Recommendations:Living Resistance by Kaitlin B. CurticeThe Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Lisa DamourThe Fifth Season by N.K. JemisinThoughts? Guest suggestions? Email us at ezrakleinshow@nytimes.com.You can find transcripts (posted midday) and more episodes of “The Ezra Klein Show” at nytimes.com/ezra-klein-podcast, and you can find Ezra on Twitter @ezraklein. Book recommendations from all our guests are listed at https://www.nytimes.com/article/ezra-klein-show-book-recs.This episode of “The Ezra Klein Show” was produced by Kristin Lin. Fact-checking by Michelle Harris. The senior engineer is Jeff Geld. The senior editor is Annie-Rose Strasser. The show's production team includes Emefa Agawu and Rollin Hu. Original music by Isaac Jones. Audience strategy by Kristina Samulewski and Shannon Busta. The executive producer of New York Times Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser. Special thanks to Sonia Herrero.

Psychiatrist Pooja Lakshmin speaks about her book Real Self-Care, which challenges mainstream notions of "self care" and offers a new framework for cultivating wellbeing. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.com.  

Self-care is everywhere but what is it really? Real self-care is not a bubble bath or a massage or a yoga class. Real self-care is an inside job. Dr. Pooja Lakshmin joins Dr. Becky to talk about how women and parents can discover what caring for yourself really looks like. Join Good Inside Membership: bit.ly/3NRXU3hFollow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinsideSign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletterOrder Dr. Becky's book, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be, at goodinside.com/book or wherever you order your books.For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcastOrder Dr. Lakshmin's book Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) at https://www.poojalakshmin.com/realselfcare or wherever you order your books.Today's episode is brought to you by Future: Future is a personal training app that matches you with a coach who is all about meeting YOUR needs, no matter where you are in your fitness journey. Future takes the work out of working out and the guilt out of missing a day. Right now Good Inside listeners receive 50% off their first month of Future—a $100 value. Sign up today at future.co/goodinside.

"You can't meditate yourself out of a 40-hour work week with no childcare and no paid sick days," says Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. But when you're overworked and overwhelmed, what actually can you do? On this episode, host B.A. Parker asks: What are your options when a bubble bath won't cut it?

We might call massages, face masks, and shopping sprees self-care, but often they're really just illusions of self-care. It looks like we're doing these things to take care of ourselves but we never really address the core issue of what's causing the stress. True self-care gets to the root of the problem and tackles it head on. And when you truly start taking care of yourself, that's when you start seeing big changes in your life. This week I'm joined by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. We discuss what real self-care is, how to be proactive instead of reactive with your self-care, and how true self-care is a revolutionary movement.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/285

How did 'self-care' become synonymous with skincare routines and beauty treatments, and what does it actually mean? Dr. Pooja Lakshmin reclaims the buzzword in her debut book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included). She tells Cristen about the existential crisis that led her to the Black, queer origins of self-care; the faux self-care sold to women; and why it's essential for taking better care of ourselves and others. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How did 'self-care' become synonymous with skincare routines and beauty treatments, and what does it actually mean? Dr. Pooja Lakshmin reclaims the buzzword in her debut book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included). She tells Cristen about the existential crisis that led her to the Black, queer origins of self-care; the faux self-care sold to women; and why it's essential for taking better care of ourselves and others. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate has a revelatory moment about a project she's working on and Doree does a shoe clean-out. Then, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin joins them on the podcast to talk about what the difference is between real and faux self-care as defined in her new book Real Self Care, how to start thinking differently about how you spend your time, and what she learned from quitting her job, getting divorced and accidentally joining a cult in her 20s. To leave a voicemail or text for a future episode, reach them at 781-591-0390. You can also email the podcast at forever35podcast@gmail.com.Visit forever35podcast.com for links to everything they mention on the show or visit shopmyshelf.us/forever35.Follow the podcast on Instagram (@Forever35Podcast) and join the Forever35 Facebook Group (Password: Serums). Sign up for the newsletter! at forever35podcast.com/newsletter.This episode is sponsored by:BETTER HELP - Get 10% off your first month with the discount code FOREVER35. Go to betterhelp.com/FOREVER35 to get started today.ROTHY'S - For free shipping and free returns/exchanges, visit rothys.com/forever35.VEGAMOUR - Go to vegamour.com/forever35 and use code FOREVER35 to save 20 percent on your first order!KOHLER - Visit Kohler.com/digitalshowering to learn more. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.