Podcasts about merry fucking christmas

Merry Fucking Christmas and Happy Chanukah Dopey Nation! Here's a little teaser of the Patreon episode with John Bukaty - all about using at Christmas - Recovery - addiction and dumb shit! Listen to the whole thing here: https://www.patreon.com/dopeypodcast We added some tickets for Dopey Wood here is the link: https://buytickets.at/thedopeyfoundation/1484803   Here ARE AI's notes: Merry Dopey Christmas!

12/24 MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS by The Arnie States Show. A.S.S.

Merry Fucking Christmas and why is there urine running down my pant leg right now? That's right, this week the degenerate assholes get together to talk about Bad Santa 1 AND 2. Is Billy Bob really all that bad in these movies? Is that really rock-bottom behavior? Find out in this week's Fried Rice Podcast!We are on Spotify/Audible/YouTube Music/Podbean and more! We are on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FriedRicePodcast Check out our website: www.friedricepodcast.com Call our VOICEMAIL: (702) 829-0117 and listen for this week's question!(don't worry, Andy isn't sitting in his room, waiting by his phone like it's the 90s, just fiddling with the long chord, watching "The Santa Clause"...)

A Ghostly Plea For Appreciation.Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.  A Christmas Ghost Story For ScroogeDana got ready to roll the movie as The Chix settled in. "What's the movie?" asked McNally."A Christmas Carol, it's the classic tale by Charles Dickens.""Damn. Not a Christmas movie? Did I ever mention that I am so over Christmas right now? Bah Humbug!"Annie snorted, "McNally, you make a better Scrooge than Patrick Stewart.""I'll drink to that," McNally said as she tipped her stemware to wash down a handful of popcorn. "Let me say it again, Merry Fucking Christmas, because I am so done with Christmas.""Merry Fucking Christmas" was echoed around the room, followed by giggles among gathered good friends as the opening scene played.Annie was dabbing at her eyes as Tiny Tim cried out in the movie's final scene, "God bless us, everyone!"As the credits rolled, Annie turned to McNally, "Well, Ebenezer Scrooge, do you still hate Christmas? Or did the ghost of Christmas Future shake you from your Bah Humbug! ways?""I don't hate Christmas; I just get worn out by this time of year. Christmas has been going on since before Halloween and that's way too long, even for a vibrant spirit like me," replied McNally."Are you still so entrenched in your 'Bah Humbug' world-weary ways Ebenezer McNally or is it possible that visitations of the cinematic Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future have softened your hardened holiday heart?" pried Patricia."Don't be picking on McNally, she's just been more emotionally honest. I have heard Scrooge speaking through all of you. Chix, take a look inside and tell me if Christmas hasn't lost its magic for all of us this year, or for that matter, several years running." Dana's call for introspection brought the room to silence.Dana continued, "Let me play Ghost of Christmas Past; let me take us back to time when we were young, and Sander and I stretched our budget and bought this cabin and had The Chix and their boys up here around Christmas time? Remember those times?""Those were the good days," recalled McNally. "I remember Orlando mixing exotic cocktails for everyone to try. The guys kept making sweet drinks and urging us girls to taste one new one after another. I'm sure they were in cahoots, working on the theory that 'Christmas candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.'"Patricia chimed in, "Yeah, I remember that year, I remember laughing a lot of silly laughs and being chased around the cabin and out into the snow by three horny abominable snowmen until I finally let one catch me and haul me off to his lair where he threw me on the bed and ravaged me.""I sort of remember that too - only I think I enjoyed Orlando's cocktails too much too soon to fully remember every detail. But I have a vague memory of laughing on my way to a strange bed as I hung over Nelson's shoulder as I pounded on his back as a captured maiden, but not really feeling much distress. I remember trying to help Nelson undress me, but I was too giggly, so he just ripped my clothes off."Dana reminisced, "Anybody remember the year we all wore those sexy Santa's Naughty Elf costumes?""I still have mine in a closet somewhere I think," snickered McNally. "We put on a pretty good show for the guys that one year when we performed in those outfits. Thanks to Annie for sewing them," McNally tipped her glass toward Annie."It was your choreography McNally, and your audacious moves that gave me the confidence to bump and grind along with the rest of the Chix. I'd never have been able to even think of doing something so feminine and sexy if it weren't for you McNally," complimented Patricia."I still get wet every time I hear Eartha Kitt sing 'Santa Baby' and I think of how hot we Chix looked and how mercilessly we teased those boys," chuckled McNally."Speaking for me," said Patricia, "I'd say all of that dance practice and the sexy dance tips from everyone else showing me how to strut my wares. Our sexy little routine was well worth it a little later that night." All The Chix giggled and nodded with Patricia, each recalling the thrill of having their men rush the stage and cart off the four costumed naughty little helper elves for a roll in the sheets."Dana are you sure you're alright with us bringing up these memories?" asked Annie in a cautious tone."Annie, I've already told you that good memories and present friends are what are important to me tonight.""Allow me to play the Ghost of Christmas Present," said Dana in a soft voice. "If the Ghost of Christmas Past has drawn for you scenes of past holiday lovers, good times and Christmas cheer; what do you see when the Ghost of Christmas Present hovers above your lives tonight and points to your actions and attitudes of this present Christmas?"The Chix again sat thinking in silence.McNally answered Dana's challenge first, "Well, I've already told everyone my grim view of this present Christmas. There is a poverty of spirit where I operate; Christmas has become nothing but joyless deadlines for me. I'll confess, 'Bah Humbug!' is truly what the Ghost of Christmas Present is pointing at in my life.""Or would Scrooge use a more contemporary phrase, maybe something like 'Merry Fucking Christmas?" needled Patricia."Yeah but..." Annie joined in, "...Those really were Merry Fucking Christmases in the past - literally. Those years when we all used to come up here with our hubbies and enjoy playing games and cooking together, remember? And it seems like every night ended in a night of passionate love making," she added wistfully. "Why did we let that slip away? Where did the holiday love magic go?"I have a confession too, McNally has nothing on me, I'm just as much of a Bah Humbug personality as McNally - if not more so. Only I'm just a Scrooge still in the closet. I guess it's time I came out to my friends. It was me who first suggested that I'd be ready to exchange Nelson for someone to clean my house. Honestly, how Scrooge-like is that?"The Ghost of Christmas Past showed that Scrooge rejected his old flame, Belle, to pursue a respectable wealthy status above love. Like Scrooge, I've let the passion for my old flame, Nelson dim, and for what? A respectable status of a well cleaned house? I've been saying 'Bah Humbug!' from inside my Scrooge closet."I chided McNally for her poor attitude when we first drove up this afternoon," recalled Patricia. "But then I fell right in with her complaining about my grueling holiday schedule and all I had endured. So, I guess that makes me not only a Scrooge, but a hypocrite as well. How's that for a bare-bones confession to the Ghost of Christmas Present?" Dana's Christmas Ghost"Excuse me," declared a mildly irritated McNally, "enough indulging in this group psychotherapy playing with literary ghosts. I can't stand it any longer, I've gotta find out from Dana if Sander's ghost is really visiting us here."McNally's abrupt demand brought a heavy hush to the room.All eyes were locked on Dana. "All I can say is that I came up to our cabin for the first time since the accident. I hoped I was ready, but I wasn't sure. The real reason that I invited everyone to join me was so I couldn't back out, even if I wanted to, since I had extended an invitation to The Chix. Patricia, Annie, McNally; you're my insurance as I forced myself to be a brave widow."I came two days ago for solitude. I thought I would be alone up here. I hoped I'd be brave enough to finally be alone with my thoughts. I was going to force myself to stay here until reinforcements arrived in the form of a carload of wild, raucous and fun-loving Chix."To my surprise, I had it all wrong. I was not alone here. Sander was waiting for me. It was good to find him here; he has been a comfort for me. I told him I was sorry for making him wait. He let me know that he understood why I waited. He assured me that it was alright for me to wait, coming only after I was ready."When Sander came to me the first night, he comforted me, bringing good memories of us in this place, like the Ghost of Christmas Past. He reacquainted me with faded memories of Patricia and Will, Annie and Nelson and McNally and Orlando all gathered in this place with me and Sander back in those days at the beginning. The images he brought to me made me feel grateful for all of you."I told Sander that those were lovely, warm memories, some of the best; but that they were far in the dim past. When Sander wrapped those memories around me; I felt warmth and saw a radiating brightness, happy for what we had once shared together. He said that that is why he had to brighten them for me; otherwise, neither I nor anyone else in those images would be able to clearly see them as they once were."I began to cry as those bright images of our past passions and fellowship with our friends began to fade before my eyes. I cried even more at the fear of losing him and everything good once again."He warned me that squandered time, tyranny of the mundane and careless love will steal from the human soul, draining the treasures of passion and good memories, leaving murky, pathetic sketches in place of those forgotten treasures. Sander let me know that I still had all of you wrapped around me to shield me with love. He was pleased that The Chix had taken such good care of me after he was taken from me."Sander told me he could not keep the past images bright, the power to do so was only given to the realm of the living."I cried in my grief and in my fresh fear of loss. I tried to hold him, but of course, I could not. I pleaded, 'How can I keep those memories of you and warm feelings bright?' I didn't know how to find the power to keep from losing all that was meaningful to me. I cried, 'Please Sander, show me, show me how not to lose you and everything again. Don't let me drain away into the murky darkness where all warmth and love have been stolen from the human soul.'"I cried, kneeling on the floor. Sander said nothing as he stood close to me as a kind and gentle spirit with a comforting patience waiting for me to finish my hot tears. When I wiped away my tears and looked into his face, he pointed and guided me to look for my answer. I saw The Chix checking their messages, returning calls, checking their calendars trying to squeeze in a meeting, an appointment and a Christmas cookie exchange. I saw that we were rushing to the shopping mall, ordering online, checking our phones and returning home exhausted, drained of warmth and love, leaving nothing for those around us."I was shown Will, Nelson and Orlando taking the cars in for servicing because it was time. I saw these men checking their messages and making out-of-the way runs to pick up store items and a few groceries because their wives had sent them a text message. I witnessed The Dix on their own initiative coming home with a takeout meal that they served to their exhausted wives and then taking out the trash the night before pickup without a reminder. The guys were up late at night, opening the bills and writing the household checks and balancing the accounts, toiling like the loyal Bob Cratchit, Scrooge's unappreciated clerk. I had been shown Christmas Present. I was sad to have seen that exhausted misery spread to all of our present lives."I cried, 'Oh Sander, where is the joy and the love for our friends? Everyone looks so exhausted and joyless and without hope or purpose. Tell me Sander, what is going to happen to them?' Sander looked sad and did not answer me."He began to fade into the darkness, and I begged with renewed tears, 'Sander please don't go, please don't leave me alone again.' But he was gone.I crawled off the floor, lifting myself into bed and cried myself to sleep. I remembered his words, 'Squandered time, tyranny of the mundane and careless love will steal from the human soul, draining the treasures of passion and good memories and leaving murky, pathetic sketches in place of those forgotten treasures.'"When Sander slipped away from me that night, I understood that he had shown me that the same was happening to Orlando and McNally, Will and Patricia and also to Nelson and Annie. His visit was a warning. Just as I lost Sander, everyone here is facing a Christmas Future where you will discover that you've lost all that really matters in life."Sander came again the next night. I was glad to see him. I wanted to know if it was too late for our friends to rekindle the love that had somehow drained away. 'Please, Sander, tell me that there is yet hope for them this Christmas Season,' I begged."He showed me some bright and warm memories from long ago, some personal and some with The Chix. He showed me those visions to let me know that I still had love and support from you guys. But I was haunted by those visions of Christmas Present that I'd been shown the night before. He was happy that I was so well cared for now. And yes, he was happy to know that I got surprised by some needed loving attention from a partridge, a turtle dove hunter and an old barnyard rooster who had a few tricks to make a French hen cackle. Yet, the peril of the bleak Christmas Present remains, unless friendship and love is cherished and attended, it too will soon perish, and I'll see my friends fade away into murky darkness as Sander had."Again, I looked into his gentle eyes and asked, 'There is still time isn't there? We haven't squandered our time, it's not too late, tell me sweetheart, there are warm and bright memories of love and affection still to be made, nourished and cherished.' Sander smiled his warm smile of assurance that I had missed so much, and I was happy."I woke, realizing that the sun was shining off a fresh morning snowfall and I threw off my heavy quilt. I sat up in bed, remembering that on our last morning together; Sander had been working on something secret that morning before the accident. I remembered asking him, 'Sweetie buns, what are you working on the hill behind the cabin?'"He smiled that warm, smug smile of mischief on that last morning that we were together and told me, 'I've got a Christmas surprise to show you tonight, it has to be revealed once it is dark. So, you'll have to wait until we finish a few runs on the slopes this afternoon.'"Of course, we never came back here together. I had forgotten about Sander's promised secret Christmas surprise until yesterday morning. When Sander told me he had a Christmas gift waiting for me after dark, he was holding an electrical extension cord behind his back with his mischievous smile stretched across his ski slope tanned face. 'I'll plug this in to brighten your night tonight, as a token of how you have brightened my life,' he said. Recalling some of his last words, I jumped out of bed and checked this morning; that cord is still lying on the deck where Sander left it last year.Annie was crying, as usual, but so were Patricia and McNally.Dana reached for her purse and pulled out her phone and looked at her messages and began to text, as The Chix took a few moments to rein in their emotions and check their composure before speaking or asking Dana any questions.Annie brushed her cheeks, "Oh Dana, that is the sweetest, saddest story I've ever heard... Excuse me, I can't stop weeping... I don't even know if these are tears of joy or grief... excuse me, I don't know what to feel or say," she said as the flood gates reopened.Patricia felt it was her role to wade in and tidy things up and drain the emotional swamp in which they all found themselves wallowing in. "Dana, it sounds like you've started to find some peace after last year's events. I am glad that you shared with us how you are coping with Sander's passing...""Patricia, Jesus Christ on a bicycle! Don't be such a cold and analytical mother hen all the time for us Chix. Dana's story is not about coping, it's about us - all of us and all that we once had and what we might lose, including Will, Nelson and yes, Orlando too. Dana, your conversation with Sander really got to me there..." McNally paused, looking emotionally rattled."I guess everyone can tell, your story about Sander got to me also," said Annie after managing to dry out enough. "I feel like McNally. Dana, what you said really touched me; I don't know what to say... Yes, I actually do, I want to say that what Sander said is right; my joy has been stolen from my soul, I feel drained inside, I have let the things I hold most dear fade away. I am Scrooge - and I'm sorry, but so are all of you."Turning to Patricia, Annie asked, "Don't you feel what McNally and I feel? Don't you feel that you and I and McNally, and certainly Dana, have lost something precious? Together as The Chix, we are a sum greater the whole - and that has, or should, include our husbands. I believe Sander told Dana to warn us all before it is too late. Patricia, don't you feel like me that we should do something before the Ghost of Christmas Future makes the vision of an estranged and murky end to all that we enjoy a grim reality?"Patricia teared up and nodded silently. Then lifting her head, she asked Dana, "Is there hope? Did Sander give you hope for us?""There is hope. There is still love here, and where there is love, there is hope. Sander showed me that the future can be changed by what we do now. Sander showed me that there is hope for us, hope for The Chix.""And... And... What is that hope?" asked McNally. "And... And... And I got lots of questions about you and Sander up here in this cabin, but first - that was a gripping Christmas ghost story with Sander, but it seemed kind of weird that as soon as you finished driving your emotional steamroller full speed over our sympathies that you then broke character, ignoring us to check your phone. Isn't checking your messages part of that tyranny of the mundane that Sander warned you about? Who is so important that you were texting them rather than dealing with us in this room and our emotions?""The Ghost or the Ghosts of Christmas Future," was Dana's curt, cryptic reply."You asked about our future, you asked about hope; I don't know exactly how to answer those questions," said a thoughtful Dana. "But I know where I want to look for starters. There is Sander's unrevealed Christmas surprise waiting for me - or us, on top of the hill behind the cabin. It was Sander's last gift. Everyone, dress in your ugliest Christmas sweater and pull on some holiday woolies and come with me to see what's up there."What do you think it is, Dana?" asked Annie."I think it is wonderful and special, Sander was so good at that kind of thing. Other than that, as I said, I only remembered it this morning. I think that it's fitting that it happened to be left there to be revealed to me in the future. I think it's a sign." Bright Angel On High - The Gift Of The Ghost Of Christmas FutureThe four Chix marched up the trail behind the cabin, following in the footprints Dana pressed into the fresh, moonlit snow that was smooth and crisp and even. All the ladies came to the brow of the hill, ready to mount the crest, expecting to view Sander's waiting surprise. Dana let out an exasperated half sight, half scream. "Ah! I forgot - or didn't think to remember that I needed to plug in the cord that Sander had run up the hill to his surprise gift." Dana broke down crying, "Everything is ruined. I wanted to see Sander's last gift and now the surprise is ruined." Dana buried her head in her mittens as her shoulders shook in choking sobs of disappointment and grief. "I failed Sander and his memory," she wailed.Annie, McNally, and Patricia swarmed around Dana, throwing their arms around her to console her. Patricia was about to explain to Dana that the problem could be solved, she would just go back down and plug the cord into the electrical socket and fix the oversight. Simple. No need for tears. Patricia's unhelpful words pointing out the simple fix to Dana's overwrought emotions never passed her lips."Ooh, look!" gasped Annie. "There it is! Look Dana, it's beautiful. Look up in that big Christmas tree, it is so magical. It's from heaven." Annie was hopping and pointing into a spruce on the other side of the dark clearing. Dana looked up, her legs turned to jelly, her heart shot out of her chest, taking with it every last oxygen molecule from her lungs. Dana stood in silence surrounded by her friends but felt as if she were floating to the stars as she marveled at Sander's creation.The figure of a magnificent, bright angel glowed from the boughs with a million tiny, warm lights. Dana threw her hands to her cheeks in stunned amazement, feeling a wash of warm blessings surge through her body."Absolutely amazing," marveled McNally. "Oh Dana, this is so inspiring. Sander sure had an innovative spirit combined with his refined talent to create such a masterful surprise. It's the most gorgeous, stunning angel I've ever seen. I know this is quite meaningful to you."The Chix huddled tight in the brisk night air, spellbound in wonder under the illuminated gaze of the angel on high. A Wild Ride DownThey jumped in unison with a startled twitch as the crystalline silence was shattered by a male voice ringing out from the dark woods behind the spruce where the angel floated.The voice made a short, "Ho!" sound. Followed by a second male voice, echoing the same "Ho!" and then another mysterious "Ho!" was spoken by another man.The women stared into the gloom beyond the angel. Was it a sound effect by Sander's angel or was someone watching them from the woods? "Hello. Who's there?" shouted Patricia.Her question was answered by three quick 'Ho, Ho Ho's' from three hidden men. Three dark figures rushed from the shadows toward the women, pushing three toboggans in front of them. Annie, McNally, and Patricia clustered close in around Dana in a scared, defensive move.In an instant Nelson, Orlando and Will burst into recognizable range of their wives, scooping them up and depositing each of them onto the toboggans. Orlando gave Dana a tug, throwing her behind McNally. With a whoosh before any of the ladies knew what was happening, they found themselves careening downhill in the darkness along the path which they had climbed a few minutes earlier. The night air was filled with screams and laughs as The Chix and their Dix flew with abandon down the wooded slope. The Chix shrieked like young schoolgirls at their quick abduction and wild ride.At the base of the slope, to avoid hitting the cabin, the men had to tip the toboggans, spilling everyone into the snow. Still in a breathless uproar, the ladies scrambled to their knees and feet and began to dump snow on the guys as they continued in a giddy, frolicking mood.The men rose from their vulnerable positions and the women ran. The men chased and the women got caught and tackled into the snow, where there was a flurry of rolling and tumbling bodies amid whoops and high spirits. The Chix all ended up getting pinned beneath their man and enjoying it before they were extracted and lifted to their feet."C'mon inside everybody!" shout a gleeful Dana. Nelson wrapped one arm around Annie and one around Dana as he ushered the two toward the cabin's deck."Wait! The gifts, damn it, we've got to recover the gifts," moaned Will."Are they at the bottom of the hill with the sleds, or did they fall off back uphill?" asked Orlando."Hell, I don't know Orlando. Send the women folk inside, we'll have to bring 'em in once we find them," replied a less than gracious Will."There're gifts for us?" asked Annie as she broke out from under her husband's arm and led the way to look for her lost gift in the snow drifts. McNally and Patricia were joined by Dana as they turned to search for their gifts too."I found one," announced Will as he stooped to dig it out of the snow. "I think this one belongs to..."Patricia gave him a boot in the bum, forcing a frozen face plant into a snowbank. She whooped with delight at her playful stunt and then turned on her heels as Will chased her and brought her down into the snow on top of him where he copped a feel and rolled his wife over and gave her a spank with his gloved hand.Dana found a wrapped gift, "I found one! Who wants this present?"McNally raced over and said, "I'll take that mystery gift," snatching it from Dana's upheld arms.Nelson looked and said, "Oh no you don't McNally, that is supposed to be Annie's." He gave chase and McNally tucked her box under her jacket and ran.Nelson quickly caught up to McNally in the drifts and swooped down on her, rummaging under her jacket feeling for the stolen box. McNally shifted and made sure that Nelson got to squeeze a couple of wrapped wonders in his search before he found Annie's intended present."Hey Nelson, what are you doing with my wife?" asked Orlando in a mock menacing tone as he strode over to McNally. He pulled her out of Nelson's clutches, grabbing her hand and lifting her up."Come with me young lady, I got something better for you. Help me find a lost partridge parcel and I'll make sure he finds a nice nest in your pear tree."McNally turned her head to Nelson, "Sorry Nelly-boy, it was fun while it lasted, but I just got a better offer." She pecked Orlando on the cheek as they went off arm-in-arm in search of the last spilled Christmas package."All presents, present and accounted for!" announce Orlando as he plucked a gift box from beneath an overturned toboggan."Y'all c'mon, my offer still stands, everyone inside," yelled Dana. Nelson rushed back to put his arm around Dana and escort her inside as the rest of the reunited Chix and Dix tramped through the snow following them into the cabin.Inside, Dana announced, "I'm going to be making a batch of my rich hot chocolate, the traditional drink for ski cabin gathering of The Chix and The Dix." Everyone cheered as Dana stepped into her kitchen.Orlando opened the cupboard, "Hey Dana, what happened to the bottle of peppermint schnapps that used to be here?"Dana tipped her head and pointed her finger into the hollow of her cheek, giving Orlando a ditzy look; "I wonder, who around here would remember that old bottle of peppermint schnapps you gave to us after all these years?"McNally, right on cue, "I've got a good memory for things like that - in fact that 'old bottle' that we gave you and Sander has just come out of the closet and has already made his presence felt. He's right here." McNally lifted the schnapps bottle off the coffee table and showed it to her inquiring husband. "It's like this old bottle is helping rekindle memories of good times past and maybe a talisman for reigniting passions that have faded.""That old bottle holds the Ghost of Christmas Past, out of it pours hope - it's not too late for us!" surmised Patricia. The Chix all yelled an enthusiastic cheer at Patricia's words, which Orlando, Will and Nelson found puzzling."But he is almost used up I am sad to say," informed McNally as she shook the schnapps bottle."Not to fear, I packed his younger brother," mentioned Orlando, "it's in with my stuff where we parked down the road, waiting for Dana's 'all clear' text. I'll bring it up later - unless we need him to rescue us right now.""The new bottle comes with the Ghost of Christmas Future inside," proclaimed Annie, "I feel that out of that bottle will pour a bright and renewed future for all of us." Annie's thoughts brought another hearty cheer from all of the ladies. The men were mystified by the response, but pleased the girls were getting worked up over some spirits in a schnapps bottle."Hey guys, when do we get to open our presents?" asked Annie.The men all looked over to Dana. Dana exploded into a sweet, sly smile. "Here's the plan y'all; I'm making a double batch of traditional hot chocolate, the first round we drink to Christmas Past and use up the old bottle. The second round, we drink to Christmas Future, and we break out the new bottle. Orlando, you are excused to go get that bottle right now. But don't tarry, there are a bunch of eager beavers waiting to open up their gifts." She gave a salacious, knowing wink to each man. "Now git, Mr. Partridge, the night is young, and we can't start the festivities without you."Orlando drove the car up to the cabin from its hiding place where they waited for Dana's text to tell them they should get in place at the top of the hill to surprise their wives. He came waltzing in with the unopened peppermint schnapps bottle. The women served the steaming mugs to their men, McNally distributed an even pour from the old bottle into each cup so that there was enough of the elixir to go around before the last drop dripped into her foaming mug.Dana lifted her stein, "A toast to the fond and wonderful memories of good times past!""I'll drink to that," said Patricia with a laugh. "There, I beat you to it, McNally." Everyone laughed.When the second round was poured and fortified, Dana offered a second toast, "A toast to fond memories of old, may they only serve as a foundation for the many bright and wonderful memories to come, bringing a future filled with hope and passion for all!"The Chix were eyeing the wrapped packages in the center of the room, and after some reminiscing and conversations, Annie again asked, "When are we going to get to open those packages?"The men deferred to Dana. Dana put her stein down and surveyed the room with a sweet and sly smile that had reemerged. "First, I know I invited Patricia, Annie and McNally up here on the pretense that I would tell you girls in person how much I enjoyed being on your naughty list. I want to thank you for turning our Christmas cookie exchange into a hubby exchange. There is no way to really find the words to say how special and loved and deliciously naughty the gift of your men made me feel on this dread holiday without Sander. Each of the guys was special, tender, loving and fun and fulfilling. And since there is no way to tell you how it felt, I took the advice from an old writer's adage; show, don't tell."I know in some circles re-gifting is considered a social faux pas, but in this case, I feel it is a wonderful, shared secret among the best of friends. I ask you to open up your packages and enjoy. As it has oft been said around here lately, Merry Fucking Christmas."McNally, Annie, and Patricia tore into their boxes, squealing in an excited tempered with shy embarrassment at the contents that had come back their way. McNally's box contained a couple of fresh, juicy pears, a bottle of lubricant that Orlando had artfully relabeled 'Partridge Oil' with instructions that said, 'pairs well with pecker and pussy'. Annie's box had a rich assortment of dark chocolate candy turtles, a small bottle of chocolate syrup and a little note instructing the owner to apply a liberal amount on her 'doves' as bait if she wanted to be a 'master baiter' and charm a fabulous trouser snake. Patricia was delighted to find a vibrating egg in her box, curious beyond belief and surprised by the fast-rising tide of wetness under her longjanes."Oh! Dana, you didn't get a gift," sympathized Annie."Oh, but I did. I've already peeked inside all of your packages - if you know what I mean, and I think you do; that's why I know everyone is in for a wonderful night on this Fourth Day of Christmas. My gift is to enjoy being the one to transform all of us Scrooges and bring the joy back into our lives, like Christmas Past. My hope has been fulfilled; I see that Christmas Future is now bright."God bless us, everyone!" cheered Patricia, repeating Tiny Tim's final line of Dickens's Christmas Carol.All seven joined in, repeating the blessing, "God bless us, everyone!""But still. Dana," Annie persisted, "I feel that it's not the same for you or for us without Sander. If Sander is still alright with it, I think maybe sometimes I can put my ol' goat Nelson here, out to pasture. That's if you need or want some intimate care now and then. Just ask." Annie blushed, put her hand on Nelson's leg and looked at her husband before lunging to hug him tight as she shed a tear."McNally are you going to match Annie's and my offer to our lonely friend?" asked Patricia with a playful smirk."As I said after The Chix cookie exchange, 'It's three or it's zero when it comes to The Chix hubby exchange. Of course, I'm in and I'll speak for Orlando on this as well.""This is only the Fourth Day of Christmas," figured Nelson, "what are we going to do for the remaining eight days?""There are seven of us here, it seems fitting that I heat up the hot tub, it seems like the perfect place to find 'Seven swans a swimming'. I'm game if the rest of us are," offered Will. Will's idea was greeted with hearty laughs of ascent."I can't wait to find out what someone will do with 'five golden rings,''' said McNally, giving a sexy little shimmy shake."I like the idea of 'maids a milking'" contributed Orlando as he licked his lips in an overtly sensual manner and flexed his fingers in a breast-milking motion."Not before we all get to have our 'lords a leaping,' that includes Dana," negotiated Patricia."Dana are you alright with this?" asked Annie, not sure if their widowed friend was feeling excluded."Annie, I'm fine, I really am. But I'm feeling a little bit shy about participating in the hubby exchange. But I'm also excited to sample the spicy variety now and again with what you Chix are willing to share with me. I love The Chix and The Dix."McNally plucked the pair of pears from the box in her lap, holding them by their stems and dangling them in front of her nipples which were showing through her top. "Orlando here has some low-hanging fruit to pick, if you'll excuse us," she mentioned in a husky voice."I've got a new egg, and I'm in the mood to get laid," Patricia said as she held up her vibrator.Nelson stood and took Annie's hand to escort her to their room. Annie paused, "Dana, are you going to be lonely and sad tonight?""I don't think so. I'm quite happy right now. You kids run along and have fun, I think I'll go back up the hill and be with my Sander Angel."Dana, put on her hat and gloves, turning to everyone in the room, "Who do I have to thank for remembering to plug in Sander's bright angel gift?" She looked from face to face to face. No one acknowledged the deed."Dana, we were all with you at the top of the dark hill, you know that" said Patricia after a long silence."We were hiding in the woods for about ten minutes after you texted us, Dana. We were waiting for you to show up, we didn't know what to expect," offered Will. "It couldn't have been anyone in this room."Annie let out a gasp and covered her mouth, gaping in surprise. "Do you think it could have been...""I'm sure of it. It's a sign," said Dana with a beaming smile. "Excuse me, I think Sander is waiting for me, I don't want to keep him waiting," as she closed the door behind her. A Merry Fucking ChristmasDana slipped back into the cabin after spending some time with Sander's angel. There were quiet moans and soft purrs seeping out from under closed doors when she tip-toed down the hall. In an understated, but audible voice, she called out, "Merry fucking Christmas, and to all a naughty good night."Dana heard laughs and giggles coming softly from behind three closed doors. "Merry fucking Christmas," came the response called back to her from behind three closed doors. She slipped under her covers, warmed by sweet memories and hopes for the future while visions of sugar plums danced in her head.Based on a post by SandyMarl, for Literotica. 

A Ghostly Plea For Appreciation.Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.  A Christmas Ghost Story For ScroogeDana got ready to roll the movie as The Chix settled in. "What's the movie?" asked McNally."A Christmas Carol, it's the classic tale by Charles Dickens.""Damn. Not a Christmas movie? Did I ever mention that I am so over Christmas right now? Bah Humbug!"Annie snorted, "McNally, you make a better Scrooge than Patrick Stewart.""I'll drink to that," McNally said as she tipped her stemware to wash down a handful of popcorn. "Let me say it again, Merry Fucking Christmas, because I am so done with Christmas.""Merry Fucking Christmas" was echoed around the room, followed by giggles among gathered good friends as the opening scene played.Annie was dabbing at her eyes as Tiny Tim cried out in the movie's final scene, "God bless us, everyone!"As the credits rolled, Annie turned to McNally, "Well, Ebenezer Scrooge, do you still hate Christmas? Or did the ghost of Christmas Future shake you from your Bah Humbug! ways?""I don't hate Christmas; I just get worn out by this time of year. Christmas has been going on since before Halloween and that's way too long, even for a vibrant spirit like me," replied McNally."Are you still so entrenched in your 'Bah Humbug' world-weary ways Ebenezer McNally or is it possible that visitations of the cinematic Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future have softened your hardened holiday heart?" pried Patricia."Don't be picking on McNally, she's just been more emotionally honest. I have heard Scrooge speaking through all of you. Chix, take a look inside and tell me if Christmas hasn't lost its magic for all of us this year, or for that matter, several years running." Dana's call for introspection brought the room to silence.Dana continued, "Let me play Ghost of Christmas Past; let me take us back to time when we were young, and Sander and I stretched our budget and bought this cabin and had The Chix and their boys up here around Christmas time? Remember those times?""Those were the good days," recalled McNally. "I remember Orlando mixing exotic cocktails for everyone to try. The guys kept making sweet drinks and urging us girls to taste one new one after another. I'm sure they were in cahoots, working on the theory that 'Christmas candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.'"Patricia chimed in, "Yeah, I remember that year, I remember laughing a lot of silly laughs and being chased around the cabin and out into the snow by three horny abominable snowmen until I finally let one catch me and haul me off to his lair where he threw me on the bed and ravaged me.""I sort of remember that too - only I think I enjoyed Orlando's cocktails too much too soon to fully remember every detail. But I have a vague memory of laughing on my way to a strange bed as I hung over Nelson's shoulder as I pounded on his back as a captured maiden, but not really feeling much distress. I remember trying to help Nelson undress me, but I was too giggly, so he just ripped my clothes off."Dana reminisced, "Anybody remember the year we all wore those sexy Santa's Naughty Elf costumes?""I still have mine in a closet somewhere I think," snickered McNally. "We put on a pretty good show for the guys that one year when we performed in those outfits. Thanks to Annie for sewing them," McNally tipped her glass toward Annie."It was your choreography McNally, and your audacious moves that gave me the confidence to bump and grind along with the rest of the Chix. I'd never have been able to even think of doing something so feminine and sexy if it weren't for you McNally," complimented Patricia."I still get wet every time I hear Eartha Kitt sing 'Santa Baby' and I think of how hot we Chix looked and how mercilessly we teased those boys," chuckled McNally."Speaking for me," said Patricia, "I'd say all of that dance practice and the sexy dance tips from everyone else showing me how to strut my wares. Our sexy little routine was well worth it a little later that night." All The Chix giggled and nodded with Patricia, each recalling the thrill of having their men rush the stage and cart off the four costumed naughty little helper elves for a roll in the sheets."Dana are you sure you're alright with us bringing up these memories?" asked Annie in a cautious tone."Annie, I've already told you that good memories and present friends are what are important to me tonight.""Allow me to play the Ghost of Christmas Present," said Dana in a soft voice. "If the Ghost of Christmas Past has drawn for you scenes of past holiday lovers, good times and Christmas cheer; what do you see when the Ghost of Christmas Present hovers above your lives tonight and points to your actions and attitudes of this present Christmas?"The Chix again sat thinking in silence.McNally answered Dana's challenge first, "Well, I've already told everyone my grim view of this present Christmas. There is a poverty of spirit where I operate; Christmas has become nothing but joyless deadlines for me. I'll confess, 'Bah Humbug!' is truly what the Ghost of Christmas Present is pointing at in my life.""Or would Scrooge use a more contemporary phrase, maybe something like 'Merry Fucking Christmas?" needled Patricia."Yeah but..." Annie joined in, "...Those really were Merry Fucking Christmases in the past - literally. Those years when we all used to come up here with our hubbies and enjoy playing games and cooking together, remember? And it seems like every night ended in a night of passionate love making," she added wistfully. "Why did we let that slip away? Where did the holiday love magic go?"I have a confession too, McNally has nothing on me, I'm just as much of a Bah Humbug personality as McNally - if not more so. Only I'm just a Scrooge still in the closet. I guess it's time I came out to my friends. It was me who first suggested that I'd be ready to exchange Nelson for someone to clean my house. Honestly, how Scrooge-like is that?"The Ghost of Christmas Past showed that Scrooge rejected his old flame, Belle, to pursue a respectable wealthy status above love. Like Scrooge, I've let the passion for my old flame, Nelson dim, and for what? A respectable status of a well cleaned house? I've been saying 'Bah Humbug!' from inside my Scrooge closet."I chided McNally for her poor attitude when we first drove up this afternoon," recalled Patricia. "But then I fell right in with her complaining about my grueling holiday schedule and all I had endured. So, I guess that makes me not only a Scrooge, but a hypocrite as well. How's that for a bare-bones confession to the Ghost of Christmas Present?" Dana's Christmas Ghost"Excuse me," declared a mildly irritated McNally, "enough indulging in this group psychotherapy playing with literary ghosts. I can't stand it any longer, I've gotta find out from Dana if Sander's ghost is really visiting us here."McNally's abrupt demand brought a heavy hush to the room.All eyes were locked on Dana. "All I can say is that I came up to our cabin for the first time since the accident. I hoped I was ready, but I wasn't sure. The real reason that I invited everyone to join me was so I couldn't back out, even if I wanted to, since I had extended an invitation to The Chix. Patricia, Annie, McNally; you're my insurance as I forced myself to be a brave widow."I came two days ago for solitude. I thought I would be alone up here. I hoped I'd be brave enough to finally be alone with my thoughts. I was going to force myself to stay here until reinforcements arrived in the form of a carload of wild, raucous and fun-loving Chix."To my surprise, I had it all wrong. I was not alone here. Sander was waiting for me. It was good to find him here; he has been a comfort for me. I told him I was sorry for making him wait. He let me know that he understood why I waited. He assured me that it was alright for me to wait, coming only after I was ready."When Sander came to me the first night, he comforted me, bringing good memories of us in this place, like the Ghost of Christmas Past. He reacquainted me with faded memories of Patricia and Will, Annie and Nelson and McNally and Orlando all gathered in this place with me and Sander back in those days at the beginning. The images he brought to me made me feel grateful for all of you."I told Sander that those were lovely, warm memories, some of the best; but that they were far in the dim past. When Sander wrapped those memories around me; I felt warmth and saw a radiating brightness, happy for what we had once shared together. He said that that is why he had to brighten them for me; otherwise, neither I nor anyone else in those images would be able to clearly see them as they once were."I began to cry as those bright images of our past passions and fellowship with our friends began to fade before my eyes. I cried even more at the fear of losing him and everything good once again."He warned me that squandered time, tyranny of the mundane and careless love will steal from the human soul, draining the treasures of passion and good memories, leaving murky, pathetic sketches in place of those forgotten treasures. Sander let me know that I still had all of you wrapped around me to shield me with love. He was pleased that The Chix had taken such good care of me after he was taken from me."Sander told me he could not keep the past images bright, the power to do so was only given to the realm of the living."I cried in my grief and in my fresh fear of loss. I tried to hold him, but of course, I could not. I pleaded, 'How can I keep those memories of you and warm feelings bright?' I didn't know how to find the power to keep from losing all that was meaningful to me. I cried, 'Please Sander, show me, show me how not to lose you and everything again. Don't let me drain away into the murky darkness where all warmth and love have been stolen from the human soul.'"I cried, kneeling on the floor. Sander said nothing as he stood close to me as a kind and gentle spirit with a comforting patience waiting for me to finish my hot tears. When I wiped away my tears and looked into his face, he pointed and guided me to look for my answer. I saw The Chix checking their messages, returning calls, checking their calendars trying to squeeze in a meeting, an appointment and a Christmas cookie exchange. I saw that we were rushing to the shopping mall, ordering online, checking our phones and returning home exhausted, drained of warmth and love, leaving nothing for those around us."I was shown Will, Nelson and Orlando taking the cars in for servicing because it was time. I saw these men checking their messages and making out-of-the way runs to pick up store items and a few groceries because their wives had sent them a text message. I witnessed The Dix on their own initiative coming home with a takeout meal that they served to their exhausted wives and then taking out the trash the night before pickup without a reminder. The guys were up late at night, opening the bills and writing the household checks and balancing the accounts, toiling like the loyal Bob Cratchit, Scrooge's unappreciated clerk. I had been shown Christmas Present. I was sad to have seen that exhausted misery spread to all of our present lives."I cried, 'Oh Sander, where is the joy and the love for our friends? Everyone looks so exhausted and joyless and without hope or purpose. Tell me Sander, what is going to happen to them?' Sander looked sad and did not answer me."He began to fade into the darkness, and I begged with renewed tears, 'Sander please don't go, please don't leave me alone again.' But he was gone.I crawled off the floor, lifting myself into bed and cried myself to sleep. I remembered his words, 'Squandered time, tyranny of the mundane and careless love will steal from the human soul, draining the treasures of passion and good memories and leaving murky, pathetic sketches in place of those forgotten treasures.'"When Sander slipped away from me that night, I understood that he had shown me that the same was happening to Orlando and McNally, Will and Patricia and also to Nelson and Annie. His visit was a warning. Just as I lost Sander, everyone here is facing a Christmas Future where you will discover that you've lost all that really matters in life."Sander came again the next night. I was glad to see him. I wanted to know if it was too late for our friends to rekindle the love that had somehow drained away. 'Please, Sander, tell me that there is yet hope for them this Christmas Season,' I begged."He showed me some bright and warm memories from long ago, some personal and some with The Chix. He showed me those visions to let me know that I still had love and support from you guys. But I was haunted by those visions of Christmas Present that I'd been shown the night before. He was happy that I was so well cared for now. And yes, he was happy to know that I got surprised by some needed loving attention from a partridge, a turtle dove hunter and an old barnyard rooster who had a few tricks to make a French hen cackle. Yet, the peril of the bleak Christmas Present remains, unless friendship and love is cherished and attended, it too will soon perish, and I'll see my friends fade away into murky darkness as Sander had."Again, I looked into his gentle eyes and asked, 'There is still time isn't there? We haven't squandered our time, it's not too late, tell me sweetheart, there are warm and bright memories of love and affection still to be made, nourished and cherished.' Sander smiled his warm smile of assurance that I had missed so much, and I was happy."I woke, realizing that the sun was shining off a fresh morning snowfall and I threw off my heavy quilt. I sat up in bed, remembering that on our last morning together; Sander had been working on something secret that morning before the accident. I remembered asking him, 'Sweetie buns, what are you working on the hill behind the cabin?'"He smiled that warm, smug smile of mischief on that last morning that we were together and told me, 'I've got a Christmas surprise to show you tonight, it has to be revealed once it is dark. So, you'll have to wait until we finish a few runs on the slopes this afternoon.'"Of course, we never came back here together. I had forgotten about Sander's promised secret Christmas surprise until yesterday morning. When Sander told me he had a Christmas gift waiting for me after dark, he was holding an electrical extension cord behind his back with his mischievous smile stretched across his ski slope tanned face. 'I'll plug this in to brighten your night tonight, as a token of how you have brightened my life,' he said. Recalling some of his last words, I jumped out of bed and checked this morning; that cord is still lying on the deck where Sander left it last year.Annie was crying, as usual, but so were Patricia and McNally.Dana reached for her purse and pulled out her phone and looked at her messages and began to text, as The Chix took a few moments to rein in their emotions and check their composure before speaking or asking Dana any questions.Annie brushed her cheeks, "Oh Dana, that is the sweetest, saddest story I've ever heard... Excuse me, I can't stop weeping... I don't even know if these are tears of joy or grief... excuse me, I don't know what to feel or say," she said as the flood gates reopened.Patricia felt it was her role to wade in and tidy things up and drain the emotional swamp in which they all found themselves wallowing in. "Dana, it sounds like you've started to find some peace after last year's events. I am glad that you shared with us how you are coping with Sander's passing...""Patricia, Jesus Christ on a bicycle! Don't be such a cold and analytical mother hen all the time for us Chix. Dana's story is not about coping, it's about us - all of us and all that we once had and what we might lose, including Will, Nelson and yes, Orlando too. Dana, your conversation with Sander really got to me there..." McNally paused, looking emotionally rattled."I guess everyone can tell, your story about Sander got to me also," said Annie after managing to dry out enough. "I feel like McNally. Dana, what you said really touched me; I don't know what to say... Yes, I actually do, I want to say that what Sander said is right; my joy has been stolen from my soul, I feel drained inside, I have let the things I hold most dear fade away. I am Scrooge - and I'm sorry, but so are all of you."Turning to Patricia, Annie asked, "Don't you feel what McNally and I feel? Don't you feel that you and I and McNally, and certainly Dana, have lost something precious? Together as The Chix, we are a sum greater the whole - and that has, or should, include our husbands. I believe Sander told Dana to warn us all before it is too late. Patricia, don't you feel like me that we should do something before the Ghost of Christmas Future makes the vision of an estranged and murky end to all that we enjoy a grim reality?"Patricia teared up and nodded silently. Then lifting her head, she asked Dana, "Is there hope? Did Sander give you hope for us?""There is hope. There is still love here, and where there is love, there is hope. Sander showed me that the future can be changed by what we do now. Sander showed me that there is hope for us, hope for The Chix.""And... And... What is that hope?" asked McNally. "And... And... And I got lots of questions about you and Sander up here in this cabin, but first - that was a gripping Christmas ghost story with Sander, but it seemed kind of weird that as soon as you finished driving your emotional steamroller full speed over our sympathies that you then broke character, ignoring us to check your phone. Isn't checking your messages part of that tyranny of the mundane that Sander warned you about? Who is so important that you were texting them rather than dealing with us in this room and our emotions?""The Ghost or the Ghosts of Christmas Future," was Dana's curt, cryptic reply."You asked about our future, you asked about hope; I don't know exactly how to answer those questions," said a thoughtful Dana. "But I know where I want to look for starters. There is Sander's unrevealed Christmas surprise waiting for me - or us, on top of the hill behind the cabin. It was Sander's last gift. Everyone, dress in your ugliest Christmas sweater and pull on some holiday woolies and come with me to see what's up there."What do you think it is, Dana?" asked Annie."I think it is wonderful and special, Sander was so good at that kind of thing. Other than that, as I said, I only remembered it this morning. I think that it's fitting that it happened to be left there to be revealed to me in the future. I think it's a sign." Bright Angel On High - The Gift Of The Ghost Of Christmas FutureThe four Chix marched up the trail behind the cabin, following in the footprints Dana pressed into the fresh, moonlit snow that was smooth and crisp and even. All the ladies came to the brow of the hill, ready to mount the crest, expecting to view Sander's waiting surprise. Dana let out an exasperated half sight, half scream. "Ah! I forgot - or didn't think to remember that I needed to plug in the cord that Sander had run up the hill to his surprise gift." Dana broke down crying, "Everything is ruined. I wanted to see Sander's last gift and now the surprise is ruined." Dana buried her head in her mittens as her shoulders shook in choking sobs of disappointment and grief. "I failed Sander and his memory," she wailed.Annie, McNally, and Patricia swarmed around Dana, throwing their arms around her to console her. Patricia was about to explain to Dana that the problem could be solved, she would just go back down and plug the cord into the electrical socket and fix the oversight. Simple. No need for tears. Patricia's unhelpful words pointing out the simple fix to Dana's overwrought emotions never passed her lips."Ooh, look!" gasped Annie. "There it is! Look Dana, it's beautiful. Look up in that big Christmas tree, it is so magical. It's from heaven." Annie was hopping and pointing into a spruce on the other side of the dark clearing. Dana looked up, her legs turned to jelly, her heart shot out of her chest, taking with it every last oxygen molecule from her lungs. Dana stood in silence surrounded by her friends but felt as if she were floating to the stars as she marveled at Sander's creation.The figure of a magnificent, bright angel glowed from the boughs with a million tiny, warm lights. Dana threw her hands to her cheeks in stunned amazement, feeling a wash of warm blessings surge through her body."Absolutely amazing," marveled McNally. "Oh Dana, this is so inspiring. Sander sure had an innovative spirit combined with his refined talent to create such a masterful surprise. It's the most gorgeous, stunning angel I've ever seen. I know this is quite meaningful to you."The Chix huddled tight in the brisk night air, spellbound in wonder under the illuminated gaze of the angel on high. A Wild Ride DownThey jumped in unison with a startled twitch as the crystalline silence was shattered by a male voice ringing out from the dark woods behind the spruce where the angel floated.The voice made a short, "Ho!" sound. Followed by a second male voice, echoing the same "Ho!" and then another mysterious "Ho!" was spoken by another man.The women stared into the gloom beyond the angel. Was it a sound effect by Sander's angel or was someone watching them from the woods? "Hello. Who's there?" shouted Patricia.Her question was answered by three quick 'Ho, Ho Ho's' from three hidden men. Three dark figures rushed from the shadows toward the women, pushing three toboggans in front of them. Annie, McNally, and Patricia clustered close in around Dana in a scared, defensive move.In an instant Nelson, Orlando and Will burst into recognizable range of their wives, scooping them up and depositing each of them onto the toboggans. Orlando gave Dana a tug, throwing her behind McNally. With a whoosh before any of the ladies knew what was happening, they found themselves careening downhill in the darkness along the path which they had climbed a few minutes earlier. The night air was filled with screams and laughs as The Chix and their Dix flew with abandon down the wooded slope. The Chix shrieked like young schoolgirls at their quick abduction and wild ride.At the base of the slope, to avoid hitting the cabin, the men had to tip the toboggans, spilling everyone into the snow. Still in a breathless uproar, the ladies scrambled to their knees and feet and began to dump snow on the guys as they continued in a giddy, frolicking mood.The men rose from their vulnerable positions and the women ran. The men chased and the women got caught and tackled into the snow, where there was a flurry of rolling and tumbling bodies amid whoops and high spirits. The Chix all ended up getting pinned beneath their man and enjoying it before they were extracted and lifted to their feet."C'mon inside everybody!" shout a gleeful Dana. Nelson wrapped one arm around Annie and one around Dana as he ushered the two toward the cabin's deck."Wait! The gifts, damn it, we've got to recover the gifts," moaned Will."Are they at the bottom of the hill with the sleds, or did they fall off back uphill?" asked Orlando."Hell, I don't know Orlando. Send the women folk inside, we'll have to bring 'em in once we find them," replied a less than gracious Will."There're gifts for us?" asked Annie as she broke out from under her husband's arm and led the way to look for her lost gift in the snow drifts. McNally and Patricia were joined by Dana as they turned to search for their gifts too."I found one," announced Will as he stooped to dig it out of the snow. "I think this one belongs to..."Patricia gave him a boot in the bum, forcing a frozen face plant into a snowbank. She whooped with delight at her playful stunt and then turned on her heels as Will chased her and brought her down into the snow on top of him where he copped a feel and rolled his wife over and gave her a spank with his gloved hand.Dana found a wrapped gift, "I found one! Who wants this present?"McNally raced over and said, "I'll take that mystery gift," snatching it from Dana's upheld arms.Nelson looked and said, "Oh no you don't McNally, that is supposed to be Annie's." He gave chase and McNally tucked her box under her jacket and ran.Nelson quickly caught up to McNally in the drifts and swooped down on her, rummaging under her jacket feeling for the stolen box. McNally shifted and made sure that Nelson got to squeeze a couple of wrapped wonders in his search before he found Annie's intended present."Hey Nelson, what are you doing with my wife?" asked Orlando in a mock menacing tone as he strode over to McNally. He pulled her out of Nelson's clutches, grabbing her hand and lifting her up."Come with me young lady, I got something better for you. Help me find a lost partridge parcel and I'll make sure he finds a nice nest in your pear tree."McNally turned her head to Nelson, "Sorry Nelly-boy, it was fun while it lasted, but I just got a better offer." She pecked Orlando on the cheek as they went off arm-in-arm in search of the last spilled Christmas package."All presents, present and accounted for!" announce Orlando as he plucked a gift box from beneath an overturned toboggan."Y'all c'mon, my offer still stands, everyone inside," yelled Dana. Nelson rushed back to put his arm around Dana and escort her inside as the rest of the reunited Chix and Dix tramped through the snow following them into the cabin.Inside, Dana announced, "I'm going to be making a batch of my rich hot chocolate, the traditional drink for ski cabin gathering of The Chix and The Dix." Everyone cheered as Dana stepped into her kitchen.Orlando opened the cupboard, "Hey Dana, what happened to the bottle of peppermint schnapps that used to be here?"Dana tipped her head and pointed her finger into the hollow of her cheek, giving Orlando a ditzy look; "I wonder, who around here would remember that old bottle of peppermint schnapps you gave to us after all these years?"McNally, right on cue, "I've got a good memory for things like that - in fact that 'old bottle' that we gave you and Sander has just come out of the closet and has already made his presence felt. He's right here." McNally lifted the schnapps bottle off the coffee table and showed it to her inquiring husband. "It's like this old bottle is helping rekindle memories of good times past and maybe a talisman for reigniting passions that have faded.""That old bottle holds the Ghost of Christmas Past, out of it pours hope - it's not too late for us!" surmised Patricia. The Chix all yelled an enthusiastic cheer at Patricia's words, which Orlando, Will and Nelson found puzzling."But he is almost used up I am sad to say," informed McNally as she shook the schnapps bottle."Not to fear, I packed his younger brother," mentioned Orlando, "it's in with my stuff where we parked down the road, waiting for Dana's 'all clear' text. I'll bring it up later - unless we need him to rescue us right now.""The new bottle comes with the Ghost of Christmas Future inside," proclaimed Annie, "I feel that out of that bottle will pour a bright and renewed future for all of us." Annie's thoughts brought another hearty cheer from all of the ladies. The men were mystified by the response, but pleased the girls were getting worked up over some spirits in a schnapps bottle."Hey guys, when do we get to open our presents?" asked Annie.The men all looked over to Dana. Dana exploded into a sweet, sly smile. "Here's the plan y'all; I'm making a double batch of traditional hot chocolate, the first round we drink to Christmas Past and use up the old bottle. The second round, we drink to Christmas Future, and we break out the new bottle. Orlando, you are excused to go get that bottle right now. But don't tarry, there are a bunch of eager beavers waiting to open up their gifts." She gave a salacious, knowing wink to each man. "Now git, Mr. Partridge, the night is young, and we can't start the festivities without you."Orlando drove the car up to the cabin from its hiding place where they waited for Dana's text to tell them they should get in place at the top of the hill to surprise their wives. He came waltzing in with the unopened peppermint schnapps bottle. The women served the steaming mugs to their men, McNally distributed an even pour from the old bottle into each cup so that there was enough of the elixir to go around before the last drop dripped into her foaming mug.Dana lifted her stein, "A toast to the fond and wonderful memories of good times past!""I'll drink to that," said Patricia with a laugh. "There, I beat you to it, McNally." Everyone laughed.When the second round was poured and fortified, Dana offered a second toast, "A toast to fond memories of old, may they only serve as a foundation for the many bright and wonderful memories to come, bringing a future filled with hope and passion for all!"The Chix were eyeing the wrapped packages in the center of the room, and after some reminiscing and conversations, Annie again asked, "When are we going to get to open those packages?"The men deferred to Dana. Dana put her stein down and surveyed the room with a sweet and sly smile that had reemerged. "First, I know I invited Patricia, Annie and McNally up here on the pretense that I would tell you girls in person how much I enjoyed being on your naughty list. I want to thank you for turning our Christmas cookie exchange into a hubby exchange. There is no way to really find the words to say how special and loved and deliciously naughty the gift of your men made me feel on this dread holiday without Sander. Each of the guys was special, tender, loving and fun and fulfilling. And since there is no way to tell you how it felt, I took the advice from an old writer's adage; show, don't tell."I know in some circles re-gifting is considered a social faux pas, but in this case, I feel it is a wonderful, shared secret among the best of friends. I ask you to open up your packages and enjoy. As it has oft been said around here lately, Merry Fucking Christmas."McNally, Annie, and Patricia tore into their boxes, squealing in an excited tempered with shy embarrassment at the contents that had come back their way. McNally's box contained a couple of fresh, juicy pears, a bottle of lubricant that Orlando had artfully relabeled 'Partridge Oil' with instructions that said, 'pairs well with pecker and pussy'. Annie's box had a rich assortment of dark chocolate candy turtles, a small bottle of chocolate syrup and a little note instructing the owner to apply a liberal amount on her 'doves' as bait if she wanted to be a 'master baiter' and charm a fabulous trouser snake. Patricia was delighted to find a vibrating egg in her box, curious beyond belief and surprised by the fast-rising tide of wetness under her longjanes."Oh! Dana, you didn't get a gift," sympathized Annie."Oh, but I did. I've already peeked inside all of your packages - if you know what I mean, and I think you do; that's why I know everyone is in for a wonderful night on this Fourth Day of Christmas. My gift is to enjoy being the one to transform all of us Scrooges and bring the joy back into our lives, like Christmas Past. My hope has been fulfilled; I see that Christmas Future is now bright."God bless us, everyone!" cheered Patricia, repeating Tiny Tim's final line of Dickens's Christmas Carol.All seven joined in, repeating the blessing, "God bless us, everyone!""But still. Dana," Annie persisted, "I feel that it's not the same for you or for us without Sander. If Sander is still alright with it, I think maybe sometimes I can put my ol' goat Nelson here, out to pasture. That's if you need or want some intimate care now and then. Just ask." Annie blushed, put her hand on Nelson's leg and looked at her husband before lunging to hug him tight as she shed a tear."McNally are you going to match Annie's and my offer to our lonely friend?" asked Patricia with a playful smirk."As I said after The Chix cookie exchange, 'It's three or it's zero when it comes to The Chix hubby exchange. Of course, I'm in and I'll speak for Orlando on this as well.""This is only the Fourth Day of Christmas," figured Nelson, "what are we going to do for the remaining eight days?""There are seven of us here, it seems fitting that I heat up the hot tub, it seems like the perfect place to find 'Seven swans a swimming'. I'm game if the rest of us are," offered Will. Will's idea was greeted with hearty laughs of ascent."I can't wait to find out what someone will do with 'five golden rings,''' said McNally, giving a sexy little shimmy shake."I like the idea of 'maids a milking'" contributed Orlando as he licked his lips in an overtly sensual manner and flexed his fingers in a breast-milking motion."Not before we all get to have our 'lords a leaping,' that includes Dana," negotiated Patricia."Dana are you alright with this?" asked Annie, not sure if their widowed friend was feeling excluded."Annie, I'm fine, I really am. But I'm feeling a little bit shy about participating in the hubby exchange. But I'm also excited to sample the spicy variety now and again with what you Chix are willing to share with me. I love The Chix and The Dix."McNally plucked the pair of pears from the box in her lap, holding them by their stems and dangling them in front of her nipples which were showing through her top. "Orlando here has some low-hanging fruit to pick, if you'll excuse us," she mentioned in a husky voice."I've got a new egg, and I'm in the mood to get laid," Patricia said as she held up her vibrator.Nelson stood and took Annie's hand to escort her to their room. Annie paused, "Dana, are you going to be lonely and sad tonight?""I don't think so. I'm quite happy right now. You kids run along and have fun, I think I'll go back up the hill and be with my Sander Angel."Dana, put on her hat and gloves, turning to everyone in the room, "Who do I have to thank for remembering to plug in Sander's bright angel gift?" She looked from face to face to face. No one acknowledged the deed."Dana, we were all with you at the top of the dark hill, you know that" said Patricia after a long silence."We were hiding in the woods for about ten minutes after you texted us, Dana. We were waiting for you to show up, we didn't know what to expect," offered Will. "It couldn't have been anyone in this room."Annie let out a gasp and covered her mouth, gaping in surprise. "Do you think it could have been...""I'm sure of it. It's a sign," said Dana with a beaming smile. "Excuse me, I think Sander is waiting for me, I don't want to keep him waiting," as she closed the door behind her. A Merry Fucking ChristmasDana slipped back into the cabin after spending some time with Sander's angel. There were quiet moans and soft purrs seeping out from under closed doors when she tip-toed down the hall. In an understated, but audible voice, she called out, "Merry fucking Christmas, and to all a naughty good night."Dana heard laughs and giggles coming softly from behind three closed doors. "Merry fucking Christmas," came the response called back to her from behind three closed doors. She slipped under her covers, warmed by sweet memories and hopes for the future while visions of sugar plums danced in her head.Based on a post by SandyMarl, for Literotica. 

 Three French Hens and Lingerie.Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.  Three French HensRising the next morning after enjoying the contented sleep of a delicious bad girl; Dana mopped up the chocolate mess and had just put a new tablecloth on the table when she received a text. She saw that Patricia had sent her a message. She giggled aloud in her empty house, feeling that she knew what she was about to read. 'Dana, I hope you will be home tonight. I'd like to drop off supper and a surprise Christmas package for you. Let me know if you'll be available this evening - Patricia.'Dana replied, 'I Will be ready for your surprise package. What Will I do with your generosity? I Will be so looking forward to tonight!' Dana didn't intend to spoil Patricia's 'surprise package' delivery; but by now Patricia knew that Dana was wise to the Twelve Days of Christmas themes arriving at her house, courtesy of The Chix 'Hubby Exchange'. Almost more than the expected sex with Patricia's husband Will, Dana was curiously excited to find out how Three French Hens were going to fit into her boudoir.When Dana's doorbell rang, she arranged herself in the hallway mirror, resettled her boobs in her next-fanciest white lace bra that was almost concealed behind her low-cut, high-class dressy satin snow-white blouse.When she answered the door, the kid at the door smiled as Dana greeted him. After an awkward, cheeky stare at her tits, he handed her the bag of roasted chicken and all the fixin's. Dana gave the kid an eyeful as his parting words were, "Don't cook tonight - Call Chicken Delight! Thanks for your order, Ma'am." The delivery boy took one last glance before leaving her porch.Dana thought about calling after him, 'Have a Merry Fucking Christmas,' but thought that she'd save the teasing for the next fellow who rang her bell.Will pulled up to the curb as the delivery boy's car pulled away. Will trotted to the open door where Dana was waiting for him. Will looked flustered. "Damn. I was supposed to surprise you with dinner. Looks like I'm the one who is surprised by dinner's quick arrival.""And you left me holding the bag," said Dana in a provocative tone as she lifted the steaming bag in front of Will's nose. Will looked doubly flustered."Oh shit. Excuse me Dana, I forgot something in my truck." Will trotted back to the curb and grabbed a gift box and came back to where Dana was waiting for him with a half-undone blouse.By the Third Day of Christmas, Dana had a good idea of how this exchange was supposed to play out. But she wasn't above playing along, or at least playing Will. Dana looked out the door, "Where's Patricia? She promised me an exciting holiday package." Dana was enjoying the recurring theme and the surprise packages being delivered to her door.Will stepped inside, shut the door and bolted it behind him, handing a scroll tied with a festive green ribbon to the woman smiling at him, acting surprised. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Will. "This is all so mysterious," acknowledged Dana with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of another installment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall.Dana unfurled the scroll, knowing what was written inside, yet once again feeling a warm flush sweep across her face as she red Patricia's words. Dana inhaled; a crinkle grew at the corner of her eyes; Patricia had sent her husband Will over to her as a gift to give her 'a night of holiday magic'.In Patricia's written introduction she implied that perhaps Will's stag arrival was not a surprise to her, but Will was not aware that he was visiting her as the bearer of gifts that tied him to The Third Day of Christmas, part of the husband exchange plotted right after The Chix cookie exchange.Patricia wrote that Will was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and that rumors were circulating among The Chix that she had made it to the top of Santa's naughty girl list. According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'Have a Merry Fucking Christmas.' Patricia signed off with, 'And Good Will to all and to all a good night.'"Well, well, what do we have here?" she asked as she dropped her glance to the gift-wrapped box in Will's hands.Will looked at Dana, "Did you read Patricia's introductory remarks on the scroll Dana?" Will of course had seen her reading it but was expecting more of a reaction from her as the purpose for his evening visit was spelled out for the attractive widow lady who had long been inside their close circle of friends."Oh yes. I've red and understood your introduction quite clearly." Dana used a husky, seductive voice to emphasize her intimate understanding of what was ahead for the two of them. "But I must know, what's in the box?"Dana's unfazed manner, sexy outfit and flirty ease with him put Will in a randy mood, thinking that he'd lucked into some sexy games between Dana and his wife. If Dana didn't seem to mind, he was certainly game. And he brought his own Christmas toys. "You get to open the box after supper. Not before then - and no peeking!""It's you that has been doing the early peeking Will," Dana thrust her boobs forward, letting the half buttoned top fall further open to reveal her white lace cups filled with full tits as she shook them with the intention to set off a growing erection inside of Will's pants.After the supper dishes were cleared, Dana made a play for the present. Will snatched it from her clutches, saying that "This gift was selected by Patricia, but she has entrusted it to me to give it to you. She seemed certain that you would find it appropriate for any kind of mischief that we might want to get into." Will smiled a sheepish smile, not sure about presenting such a gift to a lady friend. Relying on his wife's assurances that Dana would love it, he placed it in Dana's hands.Dana tore into the gift wrapping and let out a gasp and then a giggle escape as she opened the box. "What's this?" Dana was beaming as she lifted the pink oval object from its case and held it in the palm of her hand."I've been told that you might be expecting something along the lines of a chicken or hen theme. What you hold in your hand is for your holiday evening pleasure - as am I. I am your rooster, er; may I correct that, I am your barnyard cock. I present you, my hen, a vibrating egg." Will had gained his confidence over dinner and was enjoying toying with his hostess as she marveled at the gift sex toy.Dana didn't want to pry and outright ask Will if he and Patricia had used a vibrating sex toy before, but she was sure that it wasn't too difficult to guess how to use it.Will walked behind where Dana sat, he brushed his fingers through her hair. "Do you remember way back when, when you and Sander helped me out by giving me some tips on the best way to make my moves on Patricia?""Umm yeah, I remember all of that pretty well. You weren't the fumbling geek that you thought you were, you just needed a little direction and a lot of confidence. I guess that Sander and I turned you into a star lover.""Well, you may not have turned me into the latest and greatest Casanova; but at least you did give me great advice and let me practice with a real woman. Dana, you got me off to a solid start. Patricia is ever grateful to you for knocking off my awkward edges, if only she knew all the schooling that you put into my romancing behavior. Once I took your advice and employed your patented instructions of hot techniques to win a girl, I was off to the races. Patricia was able to pick it up from there." Will finished his remembrances with a small chuckle."Let's see, if I remember my early lessons; Lesson One: atmosphere is important. Come my fine teacher, join me on the couch and you can test me on what I learned from you." Will took Dana by the hand, escorting her to the living room."Lesson Two in winning a girl was what? Oh yes, I think I remember; take her slowly, don't scare her, make her comfortable with you and she will come to you on her own. Did I get that right?" Will petted Dana in a slow and easy casual caress, seeking feedback from his former romance instructor.Dana nestled into Will, "That's right, but that lesson mostly applies to a man's first approach to a girl. We've both been through this together before. Given our mutual experiences, I think we can skip the slow part this time. I'm not scared, and a faster pace would be fine with me tonight, young man."Will began to pick up the pace, undressing Dana as she enjoyed the confident attention from the man whom she once had to advise on how to undress a woman. Will had peeled Dana down to her set of snowy white lace bra and panties, he came in close to kiss her and told her she "looked like a pretty white snowflake, a unique beauty, yet the hottest of all the fallen snowflakes. If you catch my drift."Dana smiled her appreciation at Will's compliment, "Patricia told me that I should expect to find a surprise holiday package - may I?" She asked without waiting for an answer, reaching up to undo Will's pants. Dana dropped his pants and underpants to his ankle and was not surprised to find his cock decorated with a green bow. "This must be the pretty package of which Patricia spoke," feigning surprise. "Oh look, you come with a label," Dana removed the bow from Will's willy and red the label: 'On the Third Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, Three French Hens. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. Unfortunately, the Three French Hens couldn't get their travel visa in time to arrive with the business end of this package; so, I've taken the liberty to include one of their vibrating French hen eggs as a substitute. Ooh la la! Enjoy! And have a Merry Fucking Christmas! -- Patricia.'Dana stroked Will's cock, extended in greeting, "We never got this far in our lessons on what to do with a girl. I Trust you've figured out a thing or two on the proper use of your tool?" Dana leaned in to give Will's cock a lick.Will let her consume him, holding her hair as she slurped with her tongue, preparing his tool for some deep drilling. "Ooh la la," you make a pretty French hen when you have a pecker on your face," Will sighed as Dana sucked him and caressed his balls. With reluctance, Will pulled his cock out of Dana's lips, "Lest we forget, now that you've unwrapped your gift, I believe it is time we play with your new Christmas toy." Will returned to the table and picked up the vibrating egg sex toy and its remote control."This will be fun," said Will as he used the controls to turn it on and run the vibrating rheostat through its different levels. "You never got to this part of the lesson when you taught me about what turns girls on."Dana pulled him close, "A girl shouldn't reveal all of her secrets. But at the time, I never imagined that there was a remote-control device that could be used to turn a girl on with the literal press of a button." Dana spread her legs, rubbing her labia with both hands, "Why don't you find a warm nest to place that egg in, and let's pick up this part of the lesson that we both somehow missed all of those years ago."Will fit himself between her legs, wedged the vibrating egg between Dana's wet cunt lips. Dana held it in place with her right hand as she plucked at her excited nipple with her left hand as Will pressed the start button on the remote. Dana let out a giggle. "Cluck, cluck, cluck, this darling little egg is going to make me want to get laid."Dana bent her knees, trying different positions and sensations. As her toy egg hummed, she purred. "Does this egg have any other settings?" she asked as she worked her clit, letting the vibrations warm her libido.Will licked his lips as he watched Dana adjust to the new sensations between her legs, "Why yes, it does have several settings. How may I serve you my little chickadee?""What options can you offer an excited girl?" Dana asked as her eyes involuntarily rolled back as she pressed the vibrating egg to her warming, wet labia."I can serve you 'over easy', which is the setting I have you at now. I can pick it up a notch and deliver a 'poached egg' sensation, which should make you feel soft, gooey and warm. Or I can go right up to 'scrambled' level.""My, my, all of those sound fun. Will, I want you to surprise me, you pick the setting. You can change it up on me whenever you want, make it interesting with variety." Will needed no prodding, he switched up the intensity of the egg Dana held to her clit; using a slow build, higher and higher and as she squirmed and squeezed her legs together on the couch. As Dana was heating up to her melting point, Will stopped the vibrations."You barnyard bastard, Will!""You wanted me to surprise you. Didn't you tell me years ago to not rush a girl?" Will offered a smug snort, knowing he had the remote and he was in control. Also knowing that Dana had once coached him to make the girl want to come to him. "I think I've learned your lessons pretty well, by the look on your face Dana.""I was starting to get in the groove. You coaxed me pretty far along, I'm wet and I'm getting pretty frothy -- until you stopped. Will, I didn't teach you to be a cruel bastard." Dana was pouting as she reclined on the couch with her knees up, still holding her toy egg against her glistening labia."No, you didn't. I developed the joy of prolonged teasing on my own." He held the remote in front of Dana, rolling his thumb over the control buttons like the twitchy trigger finger of a gunfighter in a showdown. "I could start you up anytime I want from where I stand. Just because I stopped doesn't mean I can't start again.""Well then, what do I need to do to get you to fire me up again? I can't let this egg that I'm nesting on get too cold. I'd be disappointed if I didn't hatch an egg-cracking orgasm with you tonight."Will beamed with confidence as he looked Dana in the eye as he twirled the remote in between his fingers. "I confess, after steaming me up all those years ago with your romantic lessons, I've always wanted to see you get turned on like you are tonight. I love watching your pretty titties bunch and jiggle as you enjoy my remote toying."Dana enjoyed hearing Will's confession and was secretly pleased that she could offer him a good, sexy show. "OK, here's the deal; you control the vibrating egg, I give you the show you've always wanted but you have to come over here and lick and suck my nipple as my clit gets buzzed.""Now that's a deal I can't resist. First, I get to watch you get frothy all over again and then I'll come to your side and fulfill my other longtime fantasy by fondling your tits and sucking you until your nips are made hard and erect and by my stimulation. I'll work you tit, you work your clit and together we will bring you to an egg-cracking orgasm."Will performed a masterful job of licking, sucking and nibbling at Dana's nipples while changing the sensations she was getting on her swollen clit with the remote. With a sudden convulsion and an eye-rolling, breathy squeal, Dana panted as she pulled the pink egg out from her inner thighs, dropping it on the carpet. "Oh damn. Damn that kind of snook up on me. Oh, damn that was exciting. That was a surprise." She pried Will's lips from her over-sensitized nipple as she let the reverberations subside inside her hen parts while she leaned back against the couch's arm feeling warmed from toes to tits.Will looked her over, seeing a crimson sex-flush glowing on her upper chest, remarked, "You are some kind of red-breasted warbler hen."Dana mover her arm down to grasp Will's semi-rigid erection, giving it slow, sensuous strokes as she subtly tugged his cock to position him in front of her spread legs. "Cluck, cluck. You wanna fuck?" Dana inquired through heavy eyelids of a post-orgasmic woman.Will said nothing; he seized her ankles and threw them back toward her shoulders, exposing Dana's puffy pink cunt. With a stiff and eager pecker, Will drove hard and deep into Dana's upturned snatch, pinning her legs against her shoulders as he thrust his boner in and out of her with wet, succulent sounds. He swabbed her with hearty vigor, fulfilling years of pent-up fantasy desire to fuck Dana, the lady who had taken it upon herself years ago to give him the confidence to make it with a girl.Dana sensed that this pumping penetration which she was enjoying was the carnal expression of this man's ultimate gratification after suppressing his desire to fuck her for years. She loved being able to fulfill Will's desires. By letting him take her so savagely, it served to only heighten her pleasure. She could only express her pleasure with long, loud moans finished with little barks with every pounding stroke that Will planted deep inside of her spasming naughty bits. Dana's involuntary moans built up again and again as Will plunged into her slippery depths, always ending with a little bark as his rod mashed into her cervix.Will's grip on her folded-over legs tightened, his breath became fast and shallow as he pumped Dana with fucking fury. He released her legs, seized two generous handfuls of titty flesh, squeezed her tight as his cock flew over her nest of pubic hair, exploding in a glorious release of white, hot sperm. Will's ejaculate went splattering across Dana's bunched bosoms, up her throat and chin, coating her lips with thick, white ropes of jizz.Breathing heavily, with eyes closed tight, he massaged both of Dana's melons as he rested, enjoying the flood of warm satisfaction coursing through his body.Dana waited for a few moments until Will opened his eyes; then she opened her lips and ran her tongue along them to slurp up the cum he had deposited on her mouth. "Yum. You've been wanting to do me like that for a long time haven't you? I could tell.""It was worth the wait Dana. You taught me well." Will's arms released their hold on Dana's tits as he fell into her chest with his face, holding her torso tight as she wrapped her legs around his back.Awaking from an exhausted snooze, still entangled and stuck together by the sticky cum covering Dan's chest and Will's face; Dana stuck her finger in her mouth and then inserted it in Will's ear. "Wet Willy!"Will flinched and then laughed, "Yeah, but my Willy wins for getting you wetter."Dana spoke, "We're both kind of a sticky mess. It's like someone cracked an egg on me, it's like I have egg white covering my tits." Dana snaked her way out from under Will, taking his hand and getting him to sit up on the couch. "Come on, let's both get wet again," as she led him to her shower where they soaped and fondled each other before taking their time toweling each other off.Dana didn't bother to dress, wanting to give Will an eyeful as a parting-gift as she watched him dress. They kissed a quick kiss on the cheek before Will walked out the door in the wee hours of the foggy December morning.Dana went back into the living room to find her vibrating egg toy. She picked it up and found the remote control stuffed behind a cushion. She toyed with the idea of having another round just by herself or just going off to bed. She hadn't decided as she crawled under the sheets with the toy, but she was thinking about The Chix, The Dix, the great sex with the boys, the great fun, and the Twelve Days of Christmas.She thought of Sander, and she thought he'd be happy for her. Sander would not want her to wither up and be sad and lonely; he'd want her to have a Merry Fucking Christmas if he had a say. She missed the comfortable routine that she and Sander had grown into over the years of their marriage. She thought about The Chix and their chosen Dix and wondered if they appreciated what they still had with their hysbands. She fell asleep as she dreamed of wonderful sex and loving and grateful thoughts of her good friends, The Chix.She was dreaming of hatching a plan. A Mysterious Invitation To The ChixDana didn't have it in her this year to send out Christmas cards to the annual crowd of casual acquaintances. The raw loneliness of the holidays without Sander was too much pain to stuff into an envelope along with a glittery card addressed to those who only heard from her and Sander once a year. The holiday cheer had evaporated for all but her closest friends.Dana picked three cards to send out to The Chix. It'd be a Christmas card, a thank you card, and an invitation all wrapped into one.McNally, Patricia and Annie recognized dana's handwriting as soon as they pulled the envelope from their mailbox, rushing to open Dana's envelope first. Each smiled as they red Dana's note:Hmm.I've just gotten to thinking about the Twelve Days of Christmas -- for some naughty reason.Did you know that technically, the Twelve Days run from December 25 to January 6?The Twelve Days of Christmas have yet to begin. We are not finished yet!I know The Chix are dying for me to dish on partridges, turtle doves and French hens.The nesting of all of those Love Birds was such a sweet and spicy gift set that cheered me up.My thanks to The Naughty Chix.You must promise to join me as my guest on the fourth, fifth and sixth Days of Christmas,December 28, 29 & 30th.You will be my guest at our mountain ski-cabin getaway for a gathering of just us Chix.I won't say a word about the packages that were sent my way until then.If you want to hear the details, clear your calendar and come on out.I owe you all a Thank You - and more.I might have a Christmas Season surprise waiting for each of The Chix.You will want to end up on my Naughty List - XOXO DanaDana's scheme had been hatched. The cards went out to The Chix. The bait was irresistible; The Chix would have to be at the cabin to hear the intimate details of how their hubby exchange had been received. They couldn't miss this opportunity.As Dana suspected, the replies accepting her offer of an exclusive Chix getaway flew so quickly to her phone that she had to put all three of The Chix on a conference call. McNally, Annie and Patricia pressed Dana for a tiny hint as to how their gift hubby-exchange guys had performed. Dana was having none of it. She remained tight-lipped through all of their clever wheedling and desperate manipulations trying to get her to spill a few hints. Dana stood steadfast, enjoying holding out the tormenting delay in the juiciest gossip in years."Nothing for anyone until we are all together at my cabin." All agreed, reluctantly, on the conditions set by their hostess. They arranged to come up together and meet Dana at her ski cabin on the Fourth Day of Christmas, December 28th. A Load Of Post-Christmas Scrooges And A GhostDana stopped stirring the hot chocolate, skipped to the door upon hearing the crunching of tires over the crisp, refrozen snowfall, announcing the arrival of The Chix. "A Merry Fourth Day of Christmas to y'all!" she hollered from the open doorway.McNally stepped from the rear passenger door of Patricia's SUV, answered Dana in a sour tone, "I am so done with Christmas right now. I know, the Twelve Days of Christmas only started after Christmas, but for me, Christmas is over - and I say good riddance. Too much stress and expectation."Annie, standing ready to unload her bag from the rear cargo hatch, felt bad that McNally had started the afternoon at Dana's cabin on a down note. "McNally! Don't be such a Grinch. If Dana wants to celebrate the holiday a little longer, don't throw cold water on her festive gathering. Sheesh.""All righty then, Merry Fucking Christmas - even though it's almost New Years," groused a still disillusioned and worn-out McNally."There you go McNally, that's the spirit," chided Patricia as she stepped out of the driver's seat. "Though, I must admit, it has been a grueling end of the year for me. I would be happy to pack up the holiday decorations and get on with a normally hectic life. Merry fucking Christmas to everyone and then it's on to a Happy Fucking New Year!""I hear you girls," said Dana, "you're free to toss the gift-wrapped stress and snowed-under holiday scheduling; but don't be too quick to throw out the good part of Christmas. I've got a nice quiet, post-Christmas chill-out planned. I'm hoping to restore your Christmas spirit and help you unpack all of this grinchy scrooginess that some of you have hauled all the way up here. Welcome Chix! Grab your stuff and come on in." Dana held the door open as the Chix paraded through, stopping to give Dana a hug. "It's been a long time since everyone has been up here, but I trust you remember where your rooms are."Dana shut the door and stepped into the kitchen to finish the hot chocolate as her guests went to their rooms to drop off their luggage. Dana busied herself with arranging the snack tray and hors d'oeuvre spread as the ladies freshened up after their late afternoon drive up to the cabin."Who wants a mug of my super rich hot chocolate?" called Dana. The Chix filtered into the kitchen to start the traditional sip of hot chocolate, it was the way Dana and Sander always welcomed their winter guests to their cabin. Dana poured four, steaming mugs and set them on the table. "Won't you join me?" she asked as she pulled out a chair."I've been driving over icy roads for the last couple of hours, I think I'll take my traditional welcoming mug of steaming indulgence standing up, if you don't mind," offered Patricia."Me too," echoed Annie."I'll stand with these two," motioned McNally.Dana joined them at the counter, "We've always stood together, haven't we? This is no time to break with that tradition."They all laughed a comfortable laugh and took a sip. McNally licked her lips, "Hmm, quite good and rich as always Dana, but I think it could use a tad something more." McNally slipped around Annie and headed to the cupboard. She pulled out a bottle of peppermint schnapps. "Ah, is this the bottle Orlando and I left for you and Sander? It's right where I remember it being. And I do have an excellent memory for such things.""Yep. That's the same old bottle that you and Orlando gave us the last time we all gathered here.""Wow," offered Annie as she thought of the years that had flown past since they were last together at Dana and Sander's ski cabin. "It has been a really long time since the four of us were here together," she mused. "Only then we were also here with..." Annie caught herself, but it was too late; she and everyone there realized she was about to mention their four husbands; she sucked in a panicked breath and threw her hands to her mouth and was about to apologize for bringing up the memory of husbands in front of her widowed friend."It's all right Annie," assured Dana as she reached across the counter to touch her arm. "I'm still grieving, but the good memories of Sander, shared among my close friends, are a soothing balm for my sadness. It's not a bad thing to remember my husband."Annie, working to hold back her tears, said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I wanted to come up to your cabin and have this be a happy time with your friends; I didn't want to hurt you by dwelling on tragedy.""Annie, get a hold of yourself girl," said McNally as she dropped the mug of her high-octane hot chocolate from her lips. "We all know Sander is gone. It's a void we have to deal with, that's why we're here to cheer up Dana at this time of year.""McNally, stop it," Patricia interrupted. "Maybe you're right about the situation, but sometimes you come off sounding harsh and unsupportive. If Annie wants to open up with some tender feelings, then you should let her."Dana thumped her mug on the countertop, "Listen to me Chix, everyone's got a point - and I do too; Annie, thank you for your deep sympathy, but it's not going to break me when you, or anyone else, mentions Sander. Okay?"Patricia, I appreciate your mother hen role among us Chix, especially when McNally seems to rise to the top of the pecking order, but don't douse McNally's spirit; I find comfort in her boldness and barefaced words, and I find levity and healing in her humor and draw strength from her brassy spirit."McNally, that being said about all that I love about you - I have to correct one of your assertions; Sander is not gone. He is here. The last time we shared a bed and kissed each other good night was in this bed right in there," Dana motioned toward the bedroom off the kitchen. "But McNally you are correct in that Sander's passing is a void we have to deal with. I've chosen to deal with the void by filling it with my present friends and good memories of times past."Annie broke into a sputtering sob, sloshing her hot chocolate onto the counter. Patricia threw a visual dart at McNally to keep her quiet on Annie's account. McNally smiled and tipped her head and said nothing.After Dana spoke, there was a spell of unusual silence among The Chix, except for Annie's audible efforts to control her sobs. It was not the festive beginning to a Chix post-Christmas getaway that Dana had planned. Sensing that the holiday cheer had been lost already, Dana threw out what she knew would derail any immediate hope for the return of high holiday spirits among The Chix. "I came up to our cabin two days early for some solitude," Dana announced. "Sander is not gone. Sander is here. Last night he visited me."Eyes widened, jaws dropped, the sound of silence landed on the countertop between the girls with an unnerving crash, felt but unheard. McNally thought to ask if Dana was pulling their legs but thought better of opening her mouth. Three sets of down-cast eyes made their way up to lock onto Dana's eyes. There were lots of questions in those three sets of eyes, but not a word was spoken aloud.Dana's head clicked around in three incremental moves to scan the eyes of her guests. She understood that after a line like that, it was up to her to answer the unasked questions hanging in the air. "I didn't want to tell y'all that, at least not like that." Dana braced herself with two outstretched arms against the counter. "That's not the festive beginning I was planning on starting with, sorry about that. Excuse me for a minute; I got kind of emotionally thrown off my horse there. I planned a girl's getaway tonight with my beloved Chix. The plan was to share some bottles of wine, fat-ass snacks, decadent hors d'oeuvres and a big bowl of buttery popcorn and watch a movie. Oh! And I have some very naughty cookies from our earlier exchange that I saved; you know Chix, they must be consumed before the end of the year.""No way Dana!" protested McNally. "You can't do this to us, telling us you saw Sander last night and then pretending that we are all ready to have a casual, goofy girl's night-in tossing down popcorn and a merlot while watching a movie? I can't let you jerk us back to ordinary after an extraordinary tease like that. We gotta talk girl." McNally surveyed the faces of Patricia and Annie expecting them to nod in hearty agreement, siding with her plan to override Dana's.Annie looked non-committal. Patricia looked at McNally and then at Dana. "Dana, do you need to talk about this Sander sighting, or do you need to stick to your plan?" asked Patricia."Yes. I have so much I need to talk to you guys about, but I need to be prepared and so do you before we talk. I need everyone to follow my schedule. Didn't I write to y'all and tell you to come on up because there might be a surprise?"Flabbergasted, McNally asked, "So it's snacks, wine and a movie?"Patricia shot a mother hen look at McNally to answer her question."Didn't you hear Dana? She needs to get to a good emotional place, then she'll get back to your agenda item McNally," Annie said to reinforce Patricia's mother hen look."Okay. But I know from our conversation on the way up here, we are all eagerly expecting a report on the first three days of Christmas, involving a partridge, two turtle doves and three French hens. Am I right ladies?" asked McNally with a jauntily cocked head as she searched the faces of Patricia and Annie, satisfied that she had gotten in the last word, as she so often likes to do.Pleased that her plan was back on track, Dana perked up and poured a healthy amount of schnapps into McNally's mug, "You'll get all that and more, I promise," said Dana merrily."Did I hear 'Yule' get all that and more? If that's the case, then it's a Merry Fucking Christmas to all!"The Chix laughed and thrust their mugs to the center in a collective toast, "A Merry Fucking Christmas!"Dana set out the food, McNally poured the drinks as Annie filled the huge common bowl with buttery popcorn. "Should I bring over the naughty Christmas cookies?" asked Patricia. "I see there are a lot of uneaten pussies still on the tray. They are decorated so enticingly. It's a shame to leave an uneaten pussie on the table.""No, those naughty cookies are for dessert! Leave 'em there," shouted Dana."Patricia, are there any large, tasty cocks left on that tray, or did Dana already eat them all?"Dana jumped in, "Patricia, don't answer that. A girl has a right to keep her secrets - at least for a little while longer."To be continued in part 4, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

 Three French Hens and Lingerie.Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.  Three French HensRising the next morning after enjoying the contented sleep of a delicious bad girl; Dana mopped up the chocolate mess and had just put a new tablecloth on the table when she received a text. She saw that Patricia had sent her a message. She giggled aloud in her empty house, feeling that she knew what she was about to read. 'Dana, I hope you will be home tonight. I'd like to drop off supper and a surprise Christmas package for you. Let me know if you'll be available this evening - Patricia.'Dana replied, 'I Will be ready for your surprise package. What Will I do with your generosity? I Will be so looking forward to tonight!' Dana didn't intend to spoil Patricia's 'surprise package' delivery; but by now Patricia knew that Dana was wise to the Twelve Days of Christmas themes arriving at her house, courtesy of The Chix 'Hubby Exchange'. Almost more than the expected sex with Patricia's husband Will, Dana was curiously excited to find out how Three French Hens were going to fit into her boudoir.When Dana's doorbell rang, she arranged herself in the hallway mirror, resettled her boobs in her next-fanciest white lace bra that was almost concealed behind her low-cut, high-class dressy satin snow-white blouse.When she answered the door, the kid at the door smiled as Dana greeted him. After an awkward, cheeky stare at her tits, he handed her the bag of roasted chicken and all the fixin's. Dana gave the kid an eyeful as his parting words were, "Don't cook tonight - Call Chicken Delight! Thanks for your order, Ma'am." The delivery boy took one last glance before leaving her porch.Dana thought about calling after him, 'Have a Merry Fucking Christmas,' but thought that she'd save the teasing for the next fellow who rang her bell.Will pulled up to the curb as the delivery boy's car pulled away. Will trotted to the open door where Dana was waiting for him. Will looked flustered. "Damn. I was supposed to surprise you with dinner. Looks like I'm the one who is surprised by dinner's quick arrival.""And you left me holding the bag," said Dana in a provocative tone as she lifted the steaming bag in front of Will's nose. Will looked doubly flustered."Oh shit. Excuse me Dana, I forgot something in my truck." Will trotted back to the curb and grabbed a gift box and came back to where Dana was waiting for him with a half-undone blouse.By the Third Day of Christmas, Dana had a good idea of how this exchange was supposed to play out. But she wasn't above playing along, or at least playing Will. Dana looked out the door, "Where's Patricia? She promised me an exciting holiday package." Dana was enjoying the recurring theme and the surprise packages being delivered to her door.Will stepped inside, shut the door and bolted it behind him, handing a scroll tied with a festive green ribbon to the woman smiling at him, acting surprised. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Will. "This is all so mysterious," acknowledged Dana with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of another installment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall.Dana unfurled the scroll, knowing what was written inside, yet once again feeling a warm flush sweep across her face as she red Patricia's words. Dana inhaled; a crinkle grew at the corner of her eyes; Patricia had sent her husband Will over to her as a gift to give her 'a night of holiday magic'.In Patricia's written introduction she implied that perhaps Will's stag arrival was not a surprise to her, but Will was not aware that he was visiting her as the bearer of gifts that tied him to The Third Day of Christmas, part of the husband exchange plotted right after The Chix cookie exchange.Patricia wrote that Will was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and that rumors were circulating among The Chix that she had made it to the top of Santa's naughty girl list. According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'Have a Merry Fucking Christmas.' Patricia signed off with, 'And Good Will to all and to all a good night.'"Well, well, what do we have here?" she asked as she dropped her glance to the gift-wrapped box in Will's hands.Will looked at Dana, "Did you read Patricia's introductory remarks on the scroll Dana?" Will of course had seen her reading it but was expecting more of a reaction from her as the purpose for his evening visit was spelled out for the attractive widow lady who had long been inside their close circle of friends."Oh yes. I've red and understood your introduction quite clearly." Dana used a husky, seductive voice to emphasize her intimate understanding of what was ahead for the two of them. "But I must know, what's in the box?"Dana's unfazed manner, sexy outfit and flirty ease with him put Will in a randy mood, thinking that he'd lucked into some sexy games between Dana and his wife. If Dana didn't seem to mind, he was certainly game. And he brought his own Christmas toys. "You get to open the box after supper. Not before then - and no peeking!""It's you that has been doing the early peeking Will," Dana thrust her boobs forward, letting the half buttoned top fall further open to reveal her white lace cups filled with full tits as she shook them with the intention to set off a growing erection inside of Will's pants.After the supper dishes were cleared, Dana made a play for the present. Will snatched it from her clutches, saying that "This gift was selected by Patricia, but she has entrusted it to me to give it to you. She seemed certain that you would find it appropriate for any kind of mischief that we might want to get into." Will smiled a sheepish smile, not sure about presenting such a gift to a lady friend. Relying on his wife's assurances that Dana would love it, he placed it in Dana's hands.Dana tore into the gift wrapping and let out a gasp and then a giggle escape as she opened the box. "What's this?" Dana was beaming as she lifted the pink oval object from its case and held it in the palm of her hand."I've been told that you might be expecting something along the lines of a chicken or hen theme. What you hold in your hand is for your holiday evening pleasure - as am I. I am your rooster, er; may I correct that, I am your barnyard cock. I present you, my hen, a vibrating egg." Will had gained his confidence over dinner and was enjoying toying with his hostess as she marveled at the gift sex toy.Dana didn't want to pry and outright ask Will if he and Patricia had used a vibrating sex toy before, but she was sure that it wasn't too difficult to guess how to use it.Will walked behind where Dana sat, he brushed his fingers through her hair. "Do you remember way back when, when you and Sander helped me out by giving me some tips on the best way to make my moves on Patricia?""Umm yeah, I remember all of that pretty well. You weren't the fumbling geek that you thought you were, you just needed a little direction and a lot of confidence. I guess that Sander and I turned you into a star lover.""Well, you may not have turned me into the latest and greatest Casanova; but at least you did give me great advice and let me practice with a real woman. Dana, you got me off to a solid start. Patricia is ever grateful to you for knocking off my awkward edges, if only she knew all the schooling that you put into my romancing behavior. Once I took your advice and employed your patented instructions of hot techniques to win a girl, I was off to the races. Patricia was able to pick it up from there." Will finished his remembrances with a small chuckle."Let's see, if I remember my early lessons; Lesson One: atmosphere is important. Come my fine teacher, join me on the couch and you can test me on what I learned from you." Will took Dana by the hand, escorting her to the living room."Lesson Two in winning a girl was what? Oh yes, I think I remember; take her slowly, don't scare her, make her comfortable with you and she will come to you on her own. Did I get that right?" Will petted Dana in a slow and easy casual caress, seeking feedback from his former romance instructor.Dana nestled into Will, "That's right, but that lesson mostly applies to a man's first approach to a girl. We've both been through this together before. Given our mutual experiences, I think we can skip the slow part this time. I'm not scared, and a faster pace would be fine with me tonight, young man."Will began to pick up the pace, undressing Dana as she enjoyed the confident attention from the man whom she once had to advise on how to undress a woman. Will had peeled Dana down to her set of snowy white lace bra and panties, he came in close to kiss her and told her she "looked like a pretty white snowflake, a unique beauty, yet the hottest of all the fallen snowflakes. If you catch my drift."Dana smiled her appreciation at Will's compliment, "Patricia told me that I should expect to find a surprise holiday package - may I?" She asked without waiting for an answer, reaching up to undo Will's pants. Dana dropped his pants and underpants to his ankle and was not surprised to find his cock decorated with a green bow. "This must be the pretty package of which Patricia spoke," feigning surprise. "Oh look, you come with a label," Dana removed the bow from Will's willy and red the label: 'On the Third Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, Three French Hens. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. Unfortunately, the Three French Hens couldn't get their travel visa in time to arrive with the business end of this package; so, I've taken the liberty to include one of their vibrating French hen eggs as a substitute. Ooh la la! Enjoy! And have a Merry Fucking Christmas! -- Patricia.'Dana stroked Will's cock, extended in greeting, "We never got this far in our lessons on what to do with a girl. I Trust you've figured out a thing or two on the proper use of your tool?" Dana leaned in to give Will's cock a lick.Will let her consume him, holding her hair as she slurped with her tongue, preparing his tool for some deep drilling. "Ooh la la," you make a pretty French hen when you have a pecker on your face," Will sighed as Dana sucked him and caressed his balls. With reluctance, Will pulled his cock out of Dana's lips, "Lest we forget, now that you've unwrapped your gift, I believe it is time we play with your new Christmas toy." Will returned to the table and picked up the vibrating egg sex toy and its remote control."This will be fun," said Will as he used the controls to turn it on and run the vibrating rheostat through its different levels. "You never got to this part of the lesson when you taught me about what turns girls on."Dana pulled him close, "A girl shouldn't reveal all of her secrets. But at the time, I never imagined that there was a remote-control device that could be used to turn a girl on with the literal press of a button." Dana spread her legs, rubbing her labia with both hands, "Why don't you find a warm nest to place that egg in, and let's pick up this part of the lesson that we both somehow missed all of those years ago."Will fit himself between her legs, wedged the vibrating egg between Dana's wet cunt lips. Dana held it in place with her right hand as she plucked at her excited nipple with her left hand as Will pressed the start button on the remote. Dana let out a giggle. "Cluck, cluck, cluck, this darling little egg is going to make me want to get laid."Dana bent her knees, trying different positions and sensations. As her toy egg hummed, she purred. "Does this egg have any other settings?" she asked as she worked her clit, letting the vibrations warm her libido.Will licked his lips as he watched Dana adjust to the new sensations between her legs, "Why yes, it does have several settings. How may I serve you my little chickadee?""What options can you offer an excited girl?" Dana asked as her eyes involuntarily rolled back as she pressed the vibrating egg to her warming, wet labia."I can serve you 'over easy', which is the setting I have you at now. I can pick it up a notch and deliver a 'poached egg' sensation, which should make you feel soft, gooey and warm. Or I can go right up to 'scrambled' level.""My, my, all of those sound fun. Will, I want you to surprise me, you pick the setting. You can change it up on me whenever you want, make it interesting with variety." Will needed no prodding, he switched up the intensity of the egg Dana held to her clit; using a slow build, higher and higher and as she squirmed and squeezed her legs together on the couch. As Dana was heating up to her melting point, Will stopped the vibrations."You barnyard bastard, Will!""You wanted me to surprise you. Didn't you tell me years ago to not rush a girl?" Will offered a smug snort, knowing he had the remote and he was in control. Also knowing that Dana had once coached him to make the girl want to come to him. "I think I've learned your lessons pretty well, by the look on your face Dana.""I was starting to get in the groove. You coaxed me pretty far along, I'm wet and I'm getting pretty frothy -- until you stopped. Will, I didn't teach you to be a cruel bastard." Dana was pouting as she reclined on the couch with her knees up, still holding her toy egg against her glistening labia."No, you didn't. I developed the joy of prolonged teasing on my own." He held the remote in front of Dana, rolling his thumb over the control buttons like the twitchy trigger finger of a gunfighter in a showdown. "I could start you up anytime I want from where I stand. Just because I stopped doesn't mean I can't start again.""Well then, what do I need to do to get you to fire me up again? I can't let this egg that I'm nesting on get too cold. I'd be disappointed if I didn't hatch an egg-cracking orgasm with you tonight."Will beamed with confidence as he looked Dana in the eye as he twirled the remote in between his fingers. "I confess, after steaming me up all those years ago with your romantic lessons, I've always wanted to see you get turned on like you are tonight. I love watching your pretty titties bunch and jiggle as you enjoy my remote toying."Dana enjoyed hearing Will's confession and was secretly pleased that she could offer him a good, sexy show. "OK, here's the deal; you control the vibrating egg, I give you the show you've always wanted but you have to come over here and lick and suck my nipple as my clit gets buzzed.""Now that's a deal I can't resist. First, I get to watch you get frothy all over again and then I'll come to your side and fulfill my other longtime fantasy by fondling your tits and sucking you until your nips are made hard and erect and by my stimulation. I'll work you tit, you work your clit and together we will bring you to an egg-cracking orgasm."Will performed a masterful job of licking, sucking and nibbling at Dana's nipples while changing the sensations she was getting on her swollen clit with the remote. With a sudden convulsion and an eye-rolling, breathy squeal, Dana panted as she pulled the pink egg out from her inner thighs, dropping it on the carpet. "Oh damn. Damn that kind of snook up on me. Oh, damn that was exciting. That was a surprise." She pried Will's lips from her over-sensitized nipple as she let the reverberations subside inside her hen parts while she leaned back against the couch's arm feeling warmed from toes to tits.Will looked her over, seeing a crimson sex-flush glowing on her upper chest, remarked, "You are some kind of red-breasted warbler hen."Dana mover her arm down to grasp Will's semi-rigid erection, giving it slow, sensuous strokes as she subtly tugged his cock to position him in front of her spread legs. "Cluck, cluck. You wanna fuck?" Dana inquired through heavy eyelids of a post-orgasmic woman.Will said nothing; he seized her ankles and threw them back toward her shoulders, exposing Dana's puffy pink cunt. With a stiff and eager pecker, Will drove hard and deep into Dana's upturned snatch, pinning her legs against her shoulders as he thrust his boner in and out of her with wet, succulent sounds. He swabbed her with hearty vigor, fulfilling years of pent-up fantasy desire to fuck Dana, the lady who had taken it upon herself years ago to give him the confidence to make it with a girl.Dana sensed that this pumping penetration which she was enjoying was the carnal expression of this man's ultimate gratification after suppressing his desire to fuck her for years. She loved being able to fulfill Will's desires. By letting him take her so savagely, it served to only heighten her pleasure. She could only express her pleasure with long, loud moans finished with little barks with every pounding stroke that Will planted deep inside of her spasming naughty bits. Dana's involuntary moans built up again and again as Will plunged into her slippery depths, always ending with a little bark as his rod mashed into her cervix.Will's grip on her folded-over legs tightened, his breath became fast and shallow as he pumped Dana with fucking fury. He released her legs, seized two generous handfuls of titty flesh, squeezed her tight as his cock flew over her nest of pubic hair, exploding in a glorious release of white, hot sperm. Will's ejaculate went splattering across Dana's bunched bosoms, up her throat and chin, coating her lips with thick, white ropes of jizz.Breathing heavily, with eyes closed tight, he massaged both of Dana's melons as he rested, enjoying the flood of warm satisfaction coursing through his body.Dana waited for a few moments until Will opened his eyes; then she opened her lips and ran her tongue along them to slurp up the cum he had deposited on her mouth. "Yum. You've been wanting to do me like that for a long time haven't you? I could tell.""It was worth the wait Dana. You taught me well." Will's arms released their hold on Dana's tits as he fell into her chest with his face, holding her torso tight as she wrapped her legs around his back.Awaking from an exhausted snooze, still entangled and stuck together by the sticky cum covering Dan's chest and Will's face; Dana stuck her finger in her mouth and then inserted it in Will's ear. "Wet Willy!"Will flinched and then laughed, "Yeah, but my Willy wins for getting you wetter."Dana spoke, "We're both kind of a sticky mess. It's like someone cracked an egg on me, it's like I have egg white covering my tits." Dana snaked her way out from under Will, taking his hand and getting him to sit up on the couch. "Come on, let's both get wet again," as she led him to her shower where they soaped and fondled each other before taking their time toweling each other off.Dana didn't bother to dress, wanting to give Will an eyeful as a parting-gift as she watched him dress. They kissed a quick kiss on the cheek before Will walked out the door in the wee hours of the foggy December morning.Dana went back into the living room to find her vibrating egg toy. She picked it up and found the remote control stuffed behind a cushion. She toyed with the idea of having another round just by herself or just going off to bed. She hadn't decided as she crawled under the sheets with the toy, but she was thinking about The Chix, The Dix, the great sex with the boys, the great fun, and the Twelve Days of Christmas.She thought of Sander, and she thought he'd be happy for her. Sander would not want her to wither up and be sad and lonely; he'd want her to have a Merry Fucking Christmas if he had a say. She missed the comfortable routine that she and Sander had grown into over the years of their marriage. She thought about The Chix and their chosen Dix and wondered if they appreciated what they still had with their hysbands. She fell asleep as she dreamed of wonderful sex and loving and grateful thoughts of her good friends, The Chix.She was dreaming of hatching a plan. A Mysterious Invitation To The ChixDana didn't have it in her this year to send out Christmas cards to the annual crowd of casual acquaintances. The raw loneliness of the holidays without Sander was too much pain to stuff into an envelope along with a glittery card addressed to those who only heard from her and Sander once a year. The holiday cheer had evaporated for all but her closest friends.Dana picked three cards to send out to The Chix. It'd be a Christmas card, a thank you card, and an invitation all wrapped into one.McNally, Patricia and Annie recognized dana's handwriting as soon as they pulled the envelope from their mailbox, rushing to open Dana's envelope first. Each smiled as they red Dana's note:Hmm.I've just gotten to thinking about the Twelve Days of Christmas -- for some naughty reason.Did you know that technically, the Twelve Days run from December 25 to January 6?The Twelve Days of Christmas have yet to begin. We are not finished yet!I know The Chix are dying for me to dish on partridges, turtle doves and French hens.The nesting of all of those Love Birds was such a sweet and spicy gift set that cheered me up.My thanks to The Naughty Chix.You must promise to join me as my guest on the fourth, fifth and sixth Days of Christmas,December 28, 29 & 30th.You will be my guest at our mountain ski-cabin getaway for a gathering of just us Chix.I won't say a word about the packages that were sent my way until then.If you want to hear the details, clear your calendar and come on out.I owe you all a Thank You - and more.I might have a Christmas Season surprise waiting for each of The Chix.You will want to end up on my Naughty List - XOXO DanaDana's scheme had been hatched. The cards went out to The Chix. The bait was irresistible; The Chix would have to be at the cabin to hear the intimate details of how their hubby exchange had been received. They couldn't miss this opportunity.As Dana suspected, the replies accepting her offer of an exclusive Chix getaway flew so quickly to her phone that she had to put all three of The Chix on a conference call. McNally, Annie and Patricia pressed Dana for a tiny hint as to how their gift hubby-exchange guys had performed. Dana was having none of it. She remained tight-lipped through all of their clever wheedling and desperate manipulations trying to get her to spill a few hints. Dana stood steadfast, enjoying holding out the tormenting delay in the juiciest gossip in years."Nothing for anyone until we are all together at my cabin." All agreed, reluctantly, on the conditions set by their hostess. They arranged to come up together and meet Dana at her ski cabin on the Fourth Day of Christmas, December 28th. A Load Of Post-Christmas Scrooges And A GhostDana stopped stirring the hot chocolate, skipped to the door upon hearing the crunching of tires over the crisp, refrozen snowfall, announcing the arrival of The Chix. "A Merry Fourth Day of Christmas to y'all!" she hollered from the open doorway.McNally stepped from the rear passenger door of Patricia's SUV, answered Dana in a sour tone, "I am so done with Christmas right now. I know, the Twelve Days of Christmas only started after Christmas, but for me, Christmas is over - and I say good riddance. Too much stress and expectation."Annie, standing ready to unload her bag from the rear cargo hatch, felt bad that McNally had started the afternoon at Dana's cabin on a down note. "McNally! Don't be such a Grinch. If Dana wants to celebrate the holiday a little longer, don't throw cold water on her festive gathering. Sheesh.""All righty then, Merry Fucking Christmas - even though it's almost New Years," groused a still disillusioned and worn-out McNally."There you go McNally, that's the spirit," chided Patricia as she stepped out of the driver's seat. "Though, I must admit, it has been a grueling end of the year for me. I would be happy to pack up the holiday decorations and get on with a normally hectic life. Merry fucking Christmas to everyone and then it's on to a Happy Fucking New Year!""I hear you girls," said Dana, "you're free to toss the gift-wrapped stress and snowed-under holiday scheduling; but don't be too quick to throw out the good part of Christmas. I've got a nice quiet, post-Christmas chill-out planned. I'm hoping to restore your Christmas spirit and help you unpack all of this grinchy scrooginess that some of you have hauled all the way up here. Welcome Chix! Grab your stuff and come on in." Dana held the door open as the Chix paraded through, stopping to give Dana a hug. "It's been a long time since everyone has been up here, but I trust you remember where your rooms are."Dana shut the door and stepped into the kitchen to finish the hot chocolate as her guests went to their rooms to drop off their luggage. Dana busied herself with arranging the snack tray and hors d'oeuvre spread as the ladies freshened up after their late afternoon drive up to the cabin."Who wants a mug of my super rich hot chocolate?" called Dana. The Chix filtered into the kitchen to start the traditional sip of hot chocolate, it was the way Dana and Sander always welcomed their winter guests to their cabin. Dana poured four, steaming mugs and set them on the table. "Won't you join me?" she asked as she pulled out a chair."I've been driving over icy roads for the last couple of hours, I think I'll take my traditional welcoming mug of steaming indulgence standing up, if you don't mind," offered Patricia."Me too," echoed Annie."I'll stand with these two," motioned McNally.Dana joined them at the counter, "We've always stood together, haven't we? This is no time to break with that tradition."They all laughed a comfortable laugh and took a sip. McNally licked her lips, "Hmm, quite good and rich as always Dana, but I think it could use a tad something more." McNally slipped around Annie and headed to the cupboard. She pulled out a bottle of peppermint schnapps. "Ah, is this the bottle Orlando and I left for you and Sander? It's right where I remember it being. And I do have an excellent memory for such things.""Yep. That's the same old bottle that you and Orlando gave us the last time we all gathered here.""Wow," offered Annie as she thought of the years that had flown past since they were last together at Dana and Sander's ski cabin. "It has been a really long time since the four of us were here together," she mused. "Only then we were also here with..." Annie caught herself, but it was too late; she and everyone there realized she was about to mention their four husbands; she sucked in a panicked breath and threw her hands to her mouth and was about to apologize for bringing up the memory of husbands in front of her widowed friend."It's all right Annie," assured Dana as she reached across the counter to touch her arm. "I'm still grieving, but the good memories of Sander, shared among my close friends, are a soothing balm for my sadness. It's not a bad thing to remember my husband."Annie, working to hold back her tears, said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I wanted to come up to your cabin and have this be a happy time with your friends; I didn't want to hurt you by dwelling on tragedy.""Annie, get a hold of yourself girl," said McNally as she dropped the mug of her high-octane hot chocolate from her lips. "We all know Sander is gone. It's a void we have to deal with, that's why we're here to cheer up Dana at this time of year.""McNally, stop it," Patricia interrupted. "Maybe you're right about the situation, but sometimes you come off sounding harsh and unsupportive. If Annie wants to open up with some tender feelings, then you should let her."Dana thumped her mug on the countertop, "Listen to me Chix, everyone's got a point - and I do too; Annie, thank you for your deep sympathy, but it's not going to break me when you, or anyone else, mentions Sander. Okay?"Patricia, I appreciate your mother hen role among us Chix, especially when McNally seems to rise to the top of the pecking order, but don't douse McNally's spirit; I find comfort in her boldness and barefaced words, and I find levity and healing in her humor and draw strength from her brassy spirit."McNally, that being said about all that I love about you - I have to correct one of your assertions; Sander is not gone. He is here. The last time we shared a bed and kissed each other good night was in this bed right in there," Dana motioned toward the bedroom off the kitchen. "But McNally you are correct in that Sander's passing is a void we have to deal with. I've chosen to deal with the void by filling it with my present friends and good memories of times past."Annie broke into a sputtering sob, sloshing her hot chocolate onto the counter. Patricia threw a visual dart at McNally to keep her quiet on Annie's account. McNally smiled and tipped her head and said nothing.After Dana spoke, there was a spell of unusual silence among The Chix, except for Annie's audible efforts to control her sobs. It was not the festive beginning to a Chix post-Christmas getaway that Dana had planned. Sensing that the holiday cheer had been lost already, Dana threw out what she knew would derail any immediate hope for the return of high holiday spirits among The Chix. "I came up to our cabin two days early for some solitude," Dana announced. "Sander is not gone. Sander is here. Last night he visited me."Eyes widened, jaws dropped, the sound of silence landed on the countertop between the girls with an unnerving crash, felt but unheard. McNally thought to ask if Dana was pulling their legs but thought better of opening her mouth. Three sets of down-cast eyes made their way up to lock onto Dana's eyes. There were lots of questions in those three sets of eyes, but not a word was spoken aloud.Dana's head clicked around in three incremental moves to scan the eyes of her guests. She understood that after a line like that, it was up to her to answer the unasked questions hanging in the air. "I didn't want to tell y'all that, at least not like that." Dana braced herself with two outstretched arms against the counter. "That's not the festive beginning I was planning on starting with, sorry about that. Excuse me for a minute; I got kind of emotionally thrown off my horse there. I planned a girl's getaway tonight with my beloved Chix. The plan was to share some bottles of wine, fat-ass snacks, decadent hors d'oeuvres and a big bowl of buttery popcorn and watch a movie. Oh! And I have some very naughty cookies from our earlier exchange that I saved; you know Chix, they must be consumed before the end of the year.""No way Dana!" protested McNally. "You can't do this to us, telling us you saw Sander last night and then pretending that we are all ready to have a casual, goofy girl's night-in tossing down popcorn and a merlot while watching a movie? I can't let you jerk us back to ordinary after an extraordinary tease like that. We gotta talk girl." McNally surveyed the faces of Patricia and Annie expecting them to nod in hearty agreement, siding with her plan to override Dana's.Annie looked non-committal. Patricia looked at McNally and then at Dana. "Dana, do you need to talk about this Sander sighting, or do you need to stick to your plan?" asked Patricia."Yes. I have so much I need to talk to you guys about, but I need to be prepared and so do you before we talk. I need everyone to follow my schedule. Didn't I write to y'all and tell you to come on up because there might be a surprise?"Flabbergasted, McNally asked, "So it's snacks, wine and a movie?"Patricia shot a mother hen look at McNally to answer her question."Didn't you hear Dana? She needs to get to a good emotional place, then she'll get back to your agenda item McNally," Annie said to reinforce Patricia's mother hen look."Okay. But I know from our conversation on the way up here, we are all eagerly expecting a report on the first three days of Christmas, involving a partridge, two turtle doves and three French hens. Am I right ladies?" asked McNally with a jauntily cocked head as she searched the faces of Patricia and Annie, satisfied that she had gotten in the last word, as she so often likes to do.Pleased that her plan was back on track, Dana perked up and poured a healthy amount of schnapps into McNally's mug, "You'll get all that and more, I promise," said Dana merrily."Did I hear 'Yule' get all that and more? If that's the case, then it's a Merry Fucking Christmas to all!"The Chix laughed and thrust their mugs to the center in a collective toast, "A Merry Fucking Christmas!"Dana set out the food, McNally poured the drinks as Annie filled the huge common bowl with buttery popcorn. "Should I bring over the naughty Christmas cookies?" asked Patricia. "I see there are a lot of uneaten pussies still on the tray. They are decorated so enticingly. It's a shame to leave an uneaten pussie on the table.""No, those naughty cookies are for dessert! Leave 'em there," shouted Dana."Patricia, are there any large, tasty cocks left on that tray, or did Dana already eat them all?"Dana jumped in, "Patricia, don't answer that. A girl has a right to keep her secrets - at least for a little while longer."To be continued in part 4, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

Two Turtle Doves, or Dildos?Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dana returned to the kitchen as Orlando was finishing drying the stemware. She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in front of her tits as she tried to give a confident look, though a drunken squirrel was racing around inside her chest.Orlando folded the dish towel, set it down as he stepped to her side. He reached around her waist and pulled her close, brushing her hair back, he whispered into her ear, "Strange as it is, there are some people who have a difficult time accepting good things that are given to them. You have been given a set of good and close girlfriends Dana." Orlando placed his fingertips at the base of her jaw, "Your pulse is beating hard, I sense that you are understandably nervous to find yourself in a position to accept or reject a special, intimate gift that has been tenderly offered to you." Continuing to whisper into her ear in a mesmerizing, deep masculine voice. "It is my hope that you will be accepting of all the pleasures and dreams which are before you."Dana gulped, wanting some words to come out of her throat, but nothing happened. She wasn't sure if those stuck words ever made it onto her tongue what they would say to Orlando's proposition. She liked the idea that they could be a 'yes', but something held her back from giving an answer. She let her emotions bubble hot inside of her, waiting until they were ready to come out in their own time; she wished and hoped they'd be an accepting 'yes', but she wasn't sure.The roaming fingers of her cooing partridge traced down the side of her neck, parting her collar from her prickly, heated skin. His fingers found her bra strap and followed it lower along the pathway that brought his touch to the slope of her tit. With one hand, the tips of his fingers ran along the upper rim of her black lacy cup while the other hand undid the top button of her blouse. Orlando breathed his warm, moist breath into her ear. "You've changed into something lacy since I've arrived," was Orlando's observation. "You have not given me a spoken answer as to whether you'll accept an intimate gift, but I have gotten your subtle answer by my discovery of your hidden charms. You are a charming woman," Orlando breathed into her ear in a husky voice, and then gave her a small kiss on the cheek.Dana let out a small moan as she unconsciously tipped her head back, exposing her throat and lifting her tits as Orlando teased her flesh as he continued with his light touch running along the contours of her bra. Her gift lover recognized the moan, the short breaths, the exposed throat and the visible flush of her chest as the tell-tale signs of a woman drifting into seduction. Dana didn't have to speak; she had already extended an invitation in the wordless language of lovers for Orlando to take her wherever he wanted to go.Orlando worked deliberately, unfastening each button as he pressed his warm lips to her throat followed by tiny, wet touches with the tip of his tongue. Dana let his attention wash over her skin, floating on warm waves that rippled through her insides. With the bottom button undone, he rolled his fingers around her cups, petting her ribs before setting his fingers between her fingers, lifting their entwined hands and guiding Dana out of the kitchen, floating toward the back of the house.Lifting her unfastened shirt off her shoulders, Orlando tossed it over a chair in the corner and then pressed her with his palm, forcing Dana to fall back onto the bed. Dana landed on her back with a giggle, loving the feeling of being desired and taken. She placed her hands behind her head, accentuating her tits covered in the gossamer black fabric of her cups. She relished watching Orlando, waiting to see his next move.Orlando reached into the side pocket of his jacket, tossing a small bottle onto the bed. "What's that?" asked Dana from her reclining pin-up girl pose."Consider it 'partridge oil,' my little chickpea. Some of us more experienced partridges find that a dab or two on a partridge's pecker makes for smoother night's nesting in our chosen pear tree."Dana broke into a broad grin, "I never knew partridges were such considerate birds," she said."Not all partridges are, some will leave droppings on your car. But when a partridge finds an attractive limb or two, we partridges are known to be considerate nesters." Orlando tossed his jacket over the back of the corner chair and then stripped off his shirt, shoes and socks."Now, I believe this old, experienced partridge has found a pair of attractive limbs that interest me a great deal." Orlando crawled onto the bed, unsnapped Dana's pants and pulled them off as she lifted her lower limbs skyward. Orlando admired her matching lacy black panties for a moment before he swooped in and removed the pair just as he'd done with her pants. "Ah, there is a pretty little partridge nest at the top of a pair of attractive limbs," announced Orlando, more to himself than to Dana.Dana felt shy, but at the same time pleased to be the object of a man's intimate attention for the first time in a long time. She lay on the bed, her cunny and pubic hair exposed to Orlando's admiring eyes while still trussed up in her bra. She squirmed over to retrieve the bottle of lubricant that Orlando had tossed onto the quilt. She shook it in front of the shirtless man lying next to her, teasing him she asked, "Don't you have to molt or something before this 'partridge oil' can be applied to your pecker?" She was pleased to see the fabric at his crotch stretched over a nice, rigid form."I'm getting the urge to roost, but I'd enjoy a little more playtime." Orlando tucked his targeted pear tree under the heavy quilt, slipping under to join her. He pulled her over to cuddle next to him. He slipped her straps off her shoulders, massaging and nibbling at her back as he unhooked the last of her garments, discarding it over the side of the bed. He rolled her onto her back, cupping and squeezing her tits as he kissed her arms, working his lips to the top of her tit, bunching her tit in his firm grip as he pushed her erect nipple into his mouth. He inhaled her exquisitely sensitive titty tip with a vigorous suction that filled his hot, wet mouth. His tongue darted and circled around her puffed up bits, sending sparks shooting into her clit. He worked her fleshy mounds over with his mouth, drooling over her melons and adding to the juicy wet sensation she was getting between her thighs.As he lapped at her nipples, caressing, licking, squeezing and mashing her mammaries with his right hand, his left hand traveled across her belly, inching its way lower on her body. Dana opened herself, thrilled to once again feel the pleasure of a man intimately handling all of her excited girl parts. Her cunny was more than moist, her breathing shallow and her brain swimming in a warm fog. Dana arched her hips as Orlando's hand petted her bush; her little princess ached to once again be embraced by a dancing partner. It has been so long. Her warm, buttery inner parts were feeling more wonderful than she ever remembered.Orlando's fingers passed over her dewy vulva with a firm pressure. His hand made a tight circular grinding motion before he spread her puffy lips open, probing along her slick walls, climbing up her canyon. Dana held her breath, she wanted to squeal before he got to her clit, but she held her silence with closed eyes, letting the anticipation of first contact build in her lungs and in her loins.Orlando's fingertip crept up the underside of her rigid clit, painting her in her own sex juices. He circled her aroused bud, triggering a flash of blue electricity that shot under her skin to her toes. Dana's hips bucked; her ass arched as she pushed her sex trigger into her lover's fingers. He ran a couple of his fingers into her slippery cunny, drawing them up to her clit, bathing her in her own nectar. Dana burst into a series of brusque chirps, half-screaming, half-moaning as she was seized by convulsing and shaking legs. She choked out in shallow breaths, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh god, oh fuck. Oh, fucking fuck."Orlando let her convulsions subside. Dana covered her eyes with her hands, gasping for breath as his fingers rested, half filling her pulsing cunny. "I could be wrong -- but I'm not; you have a lot more in the tank my little chickpea." Orlando stuffed his fingers further up inside her cunt as if he was taking the measure of her tank. He pulled out slowly, making sure he tickled her g-spot as he withdrew from her throbbing void."I might have forgotten about the next element in your Secret Santa swap tonight, except it is so fucking uncomfortable right now. I'm afraid you'll have to perform the final plucking of your evening's gift partridge. I will need the skilled digits of my beautiful assistant; would you please remove my remaining apparel. I have been instructed by the one who sent me, to inform you that there is a special package waiting for you underneath."With the glee of a young girl selecting her wrapped package from under the Christmas tree, Dana rolled on her side, unzipping Orlando's white trousers and pulling them off. His erection was obvious under his holiday themed underwear, yet it looked as if his underwear was packing more than expected. Curious about his cock and whatever extras accompanied his package, she tugged his last bit of wrapping away to reveal the full package. Dana whooped in surprise, and laughed a hearty laugh, admiring the red bow adding a festive cheer to his stiff prick. "Oh my! Is this all for me?" she giggled.Orlando shrugged, "I suggest you read the label. If it's not addressed to you, I've made a terrible mistake."Dana picked up the card hanging from the red bow, dangling below Orlando's Christmas balls: "On the First Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. I've decided to exchange more than cookies after our usual Christmas Cookie Exchange. Dana, Merry Fucking Christmas! -- McNally."Dana let a little squeak escape, "This is all so very naughty."Orlando thrust his hips toward Dana, "Yes it is. Would you do me a favor and unknot me?" he said, shaking his boner in front of her to get her to remove the bow and gift card from his masculine package.Dana's eyes flashed with a mischievous grin, she wiggled her fingers in excitement before blushing as she reached to the base of the proud cock, lifting the elastic band at the base to un-decorate Orlando's extended organ."Thank you," was his response as his partridge cock was now as free as a bird. He searched the folds of the bed cover, looking to find the bottle of partridge pecker oil he'd tossed onto the bed earlier. Dana found it under her bottom, showing her find to Orlando."May I?" was her question as she managed a sheepish look up into Orlando's eyes."The pleasure would be all mine," he replied.Dana reached out to grab his manhandle, coaxing him into bed. She crawled over him, letting her tits hang down, dangling in his face. She dropped her shoulders, let one nipple land on his lips, he gave her a lick, and then she plopped her other nipple to his lips, receiving a second exhilarating lick. She scooted down, grasping the base of his cock, about to apply a dab of lube, when she thought better of her idea.She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, marveling at the inflexible piece of anatomy, trying to recall the fun of having a man's stiff cock penetrating her. It had been a while since she had even imagined enjoying the pleasure of a good fucking. She admired his towering erection, abandoned her last bit of hesitation holding her back and opened her lips and took him in deep. She moved her hands to his nuts, caressed them as she swabbed the hot pink shaft with her tongue. She sucked and stroked him, bringing him to maximum stiffness without a hint of gagging, feeling proud of her accomplishment.Orlando held her head tight between his hands as she bobbed up and down in slow, long strokes with her lips. Orlando's hands reached under her, grabbing a handful of titties in each hand, massaging her boobs and making sure she had her plush nips squeezed between his fingers just the right amount of rough, stimulating pleasure.Dana was getting lathered up again, her lady parts were plump and wet with the thrill of sucking a thick cock and the powerful handling of her tits, making her want that cock to leave her lips and tongue and find its way down to her labia and clit. Dana let Orlando's erection pull out of her mouth with a satisfying plop. She closed her eyes and made the deep humming sound of an aroused woman wanting and waiting to be taken.Orlando positioned his hand under her hanging udders, holding them in his solid grasp; he tilted her onto her back. Picking up the bottle of lube, he poured a small stream over her steaming cunt, rubbing his shaft with a second slathering. Dana's humming picked up in pitch as the cold lube oil fell on her labia, but Orlando's warm hands worked it into her soft girly flesh and made her feel happy and aroused to be pampered with floral scented oil on her feminine folds.Orlando had a well-oiled tool after a couple of strokes. He was eager to climb into his pear tree after great stimulating oral sex and the delight of handling Dana's attractive and suitably large and pendulous tits. He spread Dana's legs, pushing her knees wide after oiling her inner thighs. With a little bounce he crow-hopped between Dana's outstretched legs, landing on the gaping fruit of his pear tree. His partridge flew into her, surprising her with his sudden furious first fuck. He was thick and forced her apart, she felt stuffed; startled at the filling sensation, surprised at the penetration and swoopy with the undulating, gripping response of her unpracticed sex muscles to Orlando's perching inside her cunt.Orlando gripped her hips, Dana's legs pointed up as he pounded her with scooping, hungry thrusts of his hips, poking, prodding, pushing his pecker deeper into her ravenous nether regions. Her screams began with his first humping thrust; each blow between her legs brought a corresponding scream, he was the hammer, she was the anvil. The hammer hit her with shuddering force, the anvil of her sex rang out with each blow in an echoing scream of unbridled pleasure. She was being pounded into a form of malleable feminine flesh as her lover worked her over.Dana had been fucked many times before, she and Sander had made love, mad love, lazy love, hungry love and yet this was new for her. She let each throbbing thrust push her higher. She let Orlando's prick hammer her hard, pushing her to that orgasmic edge, an edge that was always a mystery. Dana never knew what was over the edge, at least not until she had been pushed over it and was falling into its abyss, filled with swirling clouds and tumbling waves of passion. She gave herself away, letting Orlando push her to the edge.She was hanging at the edge of her orgasm, she felt her lover's muscles tighten along his lean body, his breathing was labored, her desire was to feel him cum inside her. She wanted to give herself to him. In giving herself up to his explosive ejaculation, she would be blasted into deep space. The lovers would be swept away together in a perfect climax.Dana tensed in response to the man fucking her as he strained to gather his energy like a coiled spring planted deep inside her sex chamber. With a throaty groan, Orlando let his seed burst from his loins, flooding Dana with white hot fluid. She felt his release. His energy tripped her delicately balanced desire. Orlando's hot splash burst against the back of her vibrating inner hollow, exploding out through her lungs, rattling her pelvis as she shook and collapsed at its seductive power. The heat of her explosion radiated through all her muscles, warping the dimensions of her bedroom.Orlando rolled off her, pulling the heavy quilt over the two of them. He pulled Dana close to him, spooning with her as he buried his nose in her hair, letting his hand rest on her tit as dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads as they snuggled into a relaxed sleep like a contented partridge in a sweet pear tree.December's late sunrise was filtering through the blinds when Dana opened her eyes at Orlando's touch on her bare back. He ran his hand over her skin, rubbing the small of her back as she rolled over on her stomach. Waking up to a man's roaming hands was a forgotten pleasure for Dana. Her night's partner massaged her rump as she purred. Orlando gave her a light smack across her ass, whispering, "You have a beautiful pear-shaped ass, fresh and firm." He bent over and took a tiny nip at her flank, Dana flinched, then he kissed it all better."I regret that I have an appointment for later this morning. Please excuse me, but I will take my leave after a wonderful experience." Dana watched him dress from under a wad of sheets and blankets."Mr. Partridge?" she called as he moved toward the bedroom door, Orlando smiled and turned toward the nude woman lying in bed."Yes?" he asked in a jaunty tone."Tell McNally, 'Have yourself a Merry Fucking Christmas to one and to all', would you?"Orlando chuckled, "That sounds like an inside joke among The Chix. I'll leave that one up to you to deliver that message, my little chickpea." Orlando let himself out of the house. Two Turtle DovesDana was reluctant to rise out of bed; she wished she could linger under the covers with a lover all day. But she was resigned to the fact that the day had to move forward. She locked the door, put on a pot of coffee and made her bed. Her phone pinged. She went to find it and red the incoming text.It was from Annie, 'Clear your calendar this afternoon girl. I'll be delivering a holiday surprise package to your house. You will need to be at home to receive it!' Dana's first thought was, how sweet of Annie.She was expecting a visit from Annie when the doorbell rang mid-afternoon. Dana was surprised to see Nelson on her doorstep. "Is Annie with you?" Dana asked with a quizzical look and a realization that she was experiencing a flash of deja vu all over again.Nelson stepped into the house carrying a small gift bag and handed Dana a scroll tied with a white ribbon. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Nelson. "This is all so mysterious - again," she said with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall. Dana ran her eyes up and down the broad, well-toned frame of the dark-haired man whom she had known as a friend for many years.Dana unfurled the scroll, feeling a hot flush ignite her face as she red Annie's words while her complexion blushed to contrast with the scroll's ribbon. Dana sucked in her breath; her eyes grew wide as she red what had just been handed to her. From what was written in the scroll, it sounded like Annie had sent her husband, Nelson over to her as a special gift. Nelson was here to give her 'a time of holiday magic.' Annie's introduction stated that 'Nelson was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and for this one time only, Santa would be unloading his sack and giving his gifts to one of the naughty girls on his list.' According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'to be swept away and be surprised by the goodies that were stuffed into her stocking.'Dana took another short breath as she finished reading; she understood that the text Annie had sent this morning was but a pretext, a set up. Her lips parted as she realized that there were waves of warm desire flowing in her center as she detected a sudden firming within her lady parts. She was pleasantly embarrassed as she felt another blush rise to her nipples, throat and face.Nelson stared at Dana, analyzing her expressions, making sure she had figured out the reason for his visit. Dana knew he was watching her for a sign of her willingness to have him romance the pants off of her. Nelson's stare made her feel bashful as she kept her secret of wanting to be desired and ravaged by a man who had been off limits -- until now.Nelson saw enough in Dana's eyes, shy smile and crimson blush to pursue Annie's plan. "You understand why Annie sent me over here, don't you?"Dana wanted to reach out to touch him to affirm that she did, but she kept her hands to herself. She folded herself up in a demure stance and waited for Nelson to make his move. "Annie said you might need some convincing, but that my appearance and purpose would not be a total surprise to you -- whatever that may mean." Nelson put his hands on her shoulders, whispered into her ear, "Merry Trystmas, from me and Annie to you."Dana spun away as Nelson was moving his hands toward her tits, but not too far away. "What's in the bag Nelson?" she said as she lifted her neck to peek at the gift bag on the floor behind him."Ah, glad you asked. Allow me to say that I have been sent to your lovely side in this special season and my quest is to hunt for turtle doves. It is my understanding that turtle doves always, always come in pairs. I am a connoisseur of turtle doves, and I will search high and low to find such a pair. I assure you that I will leave no stone, or garment, unturned in my assigned quest to find a pair of white turtle doves." Nelson lifted the bag, "May I share with you my turtle dove hunting strategy?" he asked as he nudged Dana into her kitchen.Dana crossed her arms over her chest, "I would be very interested in your proposed hunting strategy. But I've heard it takes a bit of skill and charm and a degree of luck to flush a pair of turtle doves out into the open. Is that true?" Dana rocked her shoulders in a coquettish fashion as she let Nelson follow her to the kitchen table."Luck, my lady, has nothing to do with it." Nelson put the bag of goodies on the table, "It is all charm and skill," he let out a good-natured laugh at his exaggerated sexual swagger to his longtime friend and with a little luck, soon to be lover. "Let me show you some of the enticing baits that have worked well for generations of turtle dove poachers. Nelson reached into the bag and drew out a small, ornate candy box.He handed it to Dana, "Go ahead, open it," he insisted. Dana removed the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside were a half-dozen chocolate covered pecans clusters."Oh yes, I see why these might work. They're turtle candies -- like decoys. You're a very clever hunter Nelson. You say these are used as bait to lure turtle doves out into the open?"Nelson was pleased with Dana's playful reaction, "Yes indeed, that's the plan. It's in all the field guides that I've red. The use of these little chocolates makes me a master baiter."Dana snorted at Nelson's set up. "I guess I should've seen that cumming," she added once she'd caught her breath.Nelson nodded to her with a sly smile, acknowledging her playful comeback. "The old-time hunters have a saying, 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.' But I'm of the opinion that the hunt can be as much fun as the capture."Dana straightened her spine and rounded her shoulders to emphasize her cleavage as she smirked at the great hunter seated across the table from her. "When does hunting season open?""I got another trick in my bag." Nelson pulled out a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup, holding it in front of Dana."Oh, you are a clever man, Nelson. I see what you've done; chocolate turtle decoys and Dove chocolate sauce, yes, quite clever preparations for a turtle dove safari." Dana was suppressing a giggle at the sight of Nelson's selected ingredients on her table. "But I have no idea how such items are combined with a hunter's skill and charm."Nelson snickered at Dana's pretend gullibility, "That's just the segue that an old, out of practice turtle dove hunter needs," he said in appreciation of her beguiling playfulness. "Allow me to demonstrate."Nelson held a turtle candy to her lips; Dana stuck out her tongue as he fed it to her. Dana licked and smacked her lips seductively as she devoured the bait. Nelson selected a second turtle, covering it with a squirt of chocolate syrup before he held it to her lips. Dana stuck out her tongue; Nelson missed her mouth, smearing gooey syrup over her chin and running down her jaw. "Oops. I might not be the skilled master baiter that I thought I was," he said as he picked up a napkin from the table. Nelson, dabbed at her face and neck, but ended up smearing the syrup into a larger mess. "Oops. How clumsy of me. This isn't working so well, let me try something else." Nelson moved in close to Dana and began licking her face in long, slow scoops. Dana held still as he worked his tongue off her chin and down her throat.Dana began to coo as she enjoyed the wet, messy sensation of being devoured."I hear the cooing sounds of turtle doves," whispered Nelson between his slow slurps mixed with kisses. "There must be a pair nearby. Let me see if I can sneak up on them.""I think they're hiding somewhere in here." Nelson inserted his hands under the front of Dana's blouse, rambling among the straps and cups. Nelson unbuttoned the upper buttons, reaching over to the bottle of chocolate syrup and dribbled a little stream on her throat. Dana tossed her head back, exposing the dark vein and inviting Nelson to clean her up with his tongue.Nelson sucked and licked his way down her throat to her chest while he finished undoing her top. After removing her shirt, he had her rise from her chair. He held his hands behind her head, working them down to her bra. With a deft snap of his fingers, Dana was undone. "Ah, these two turtle doves are too beautiful to be hidden away, caged and cooped up. Let me free these gentle beasts." Nelson draped her bra over the back of the chair before dribbling more Dove chocolate syrup on her upper chest."Yum, you taste so good for a bad girl." Nelson pushed Dana with his tongue and hands, making her lie back on the tabletop, tits up. More syrup was applied to her tits as Nelson dipped in, licking under her titties before grasping them like an ice cream cone and taking big licks across her accentuated nipples rising stiff and bright as a red, glowing holiday light atop the Christmas tree. Nelson's hot and eager mouth enveloped her exposed chocolate covered cherries; licking and smacking with his lashing tongue, rolling across her rounded holiday orbs, flush with excitement at the naughty attention they were garnering.Dana's pants and panties were off before she knew what was happening. She was bathed in ribbons of chocolate syrup from the tip of her two tits down to hip bones. Nelson lapped at her in a voracious, tooth-snapping fashion. He paused to admire her up-thrust boobs, "You are one of my new favorite Christmas treats; big, round teats like milky scoops topped off with tasty red berries, then covered in chocolate. Yum, yum-yum!"Dana had thrown her hands up over her head in sweet surrender as she was consumed figuratively by glowing desire and literally by the ravenous lips and tongue of her lover. She shifted further over the table, opening her thighs and dangling her legs off the table's edge, hoping she looked yummy and delicious. Offering herself as a holiday treat to the man she hoped to entice to keep on licking all the way down to her Christmas wonderland.Dana was not disappointed. Her bare chest was cleaned up well by Nelson's fastidious fussing over her naked body slathered in sweetness. Nelson let his tongue flow downstream, following the rivulet of syrup that ran along the contours of her body. Taking a seat in the chair Dana had just vacated, he pushed her thighs apart, running his fingers up from her knees to the intimate interior canyon that opened between her legs. Spreading her puffy, pink labia, Nelson held her open to peek at her engorged twat protruding beyond the folds of delicate flesh. Dana's half-hidden clit looked like a poorly re-wrapped gift after a curious child had taken a little peek underneath, unable to wait until Christmas morning to find out what was inside.Nelson's own package was straining to break out of his trousers and feeling even more uncomfortable with the bow and tag that Annie had made him wear before coming to seduce their friend Dana under the pretense of looking for two turtle doves. "Excuse me, I almost forgot, I have a package that is for you," Nelson mumbled as he looked over Dana's fuzzy pubic mound up toward her face. He stood, took off his blazer, shirt and boots and socks and then dropped his trousers.Dana lifted her head enough to see Nelson's erection had a pretty bow attached to its base. She exclaimed, "Is that package for me?""Read the gift tag," he said as he turned so that Dana red the attached card:"Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. If you decide to be a bad girl this year, you may find a couple of turtle dove eggs laid upon your nest. Merry Fucking Christmas! Annie."Dana pulled off his phallic decoration, caressing his eggs after unwrapping his package. "The card says if I am a bad girl, my two turtle doves might get me laid and I might find a couple of eggs on my pussy's nest.""Ho ho ho, have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?" Nelson inquired with a prurient interest as he filled her excited crevasse with a couple of slow, pumping fingers."I've been feeling so bad that I've been so good - that is up until recently. Now that I've become a bad girl, I've been feeling pretty good. Nelson, when you're looking over your list of who's naughty and who's nice; if I told you I want your hot cock stuffed down my chimney, would you hold it against me?"Nelson was in no mood to joke around now that his proud member was trimmed for action. He slipped his hands under Dana's ass, leaned into her cunt and gave her clit several flicks with his tongue. Dana squirmed and squealed at the soft, fleshy contact with her clit."Um, this is the moist wonderful time of the year," proclaimed Nelson as he came between her legs, driving into her cunt, stuffing her good and plenty.Dana's breath burst in a big whoosh as her sex muscles clamped down on the stiff man-flesh pumping into her pulsing parts. Nelson kept up a rhythmic pumping as he ran the pad of his thumb around her wild clitoris.Dana's hips bucked in response to the driving, throbbing action of a cock, forcing her intimate space to yield to its girth. Prickly sparks shot out into her toes as her twat was twiddled in a pool of chocolate syrup her lover had dripped over her pink jellybean.Dana's legs lifted into the air, she opened herself to a full throttle fucking. Nelson's bush-beating stick pounded her flesh; each heavy pumping stroke pushed her higher and higher. Dana felt herself rising to her orgasmic peak.Nelson could feel the sexual tension inside her as she offered counter thrusts. He could hear her swelling orgasm in her swooning moans. He continued his pace, knowing it was driving her toward a shattering orgasm.Dana threw her hands over her face in ecstasy as the building orgasm exploded in her core, blasting away her breath as she barked out short, sharp moans. She was a hot pool of jelly on her kitchen table. She was a mess with chocolate syrup making her skin sticky sweet as it mixed with her salty sweat and gushing love juices.The fantastic vibrations echoing in her cunt were starting to mellow when Nelson reached under her and flipped her tits-down and had her spread eagle across the table. She lifted her hips as Nelson grabbed her ass cheeks, presenting her cunt for a doggy-style penetration. Nelson poured chocolate syrup over his turgid phallus and flew at her gaping cunt with a hearty and lusty thrust. He gave her a sharp spank that cracked across the kitchen as he yelled,"On Dasher, on Prancer, on Boner, oh fuck I'm Blitzen!Oh fuck, I'm cumming in your chimney tonight."Nelson pumped her cunt, poking Dana deep, she was moaning with every thrust and every command to his flying, fucking reindeer. Another spank on her flank and Nelson grunted as he stuffed himself deep into her consuming cunt. He held her ass tight to his balls as he shot a blizzard of white cum into Dana's happy cunt.Nelson dropped back into the chair, looking exhausted and quite pleased. Dana was warmed to see Nelson looking so satisfied. She gave him a kiss and then shook her tits, slapping his cheeks with her chocolate syrup painted orbs, making a bigger mess of his face.Dana crawled into his lap, feeling his used-up strength begin to fade. She was happy to have made such a big, fun mess in her kitchen again. "Come on. You're not done until you've cleaned your two turtle doves that you so charmingly flushed into the open." Dana led Nelson by the hand, pushing him into her warm shower where she joined him, making him soap up her lady parts and get them squeaky clean.They toweled one another dry, paying extra attention to those parts once dredged in Dove chocolate syrup, making sure all was spanking clean. Nelson tiptoed back to his pile of clothes on the kitchen floor, dressing himself and apologizing that, "There is some Holiday business I have to attend to at the station."Before walking back out through the door, he gave Dana a squeeze, "I'd fantasized about taking you on the kitchen table before, of course I never thought I would ever enjoy the opportunity. Honestly, Annie deserves a lot of credit for fulfilling my wish list - though I never mentioned this fantasy to her. She's uncanny sometimes." With a playful goose of Dana's two turtle doves, he whispered, "Merry Trystmas," shutting the door behind him as Dana heard a faint 'Ho Ho Ho' as Nelson flew out into the chilly December night. To be continued in part 3, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

Two Turtle Doves, or Dildos?Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dana returned to the kitchen as Orlando was finishing drying the stemware. She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in front of her tits as she tried to give a confident look, though a drunken squirrel was racing around inside her chest.Orlando folded the dish towel, set it down as he stepped to her side. He reached around her waist and pulled her close, brushing her hair back, he whispered into her ear, "Strange as it is, there are some people who have a difficult time accepting good things that are given to them. You have been given a set of good and close girlfriends Dana." Orlando placed his fingertips at the base of her jaw, "Your pulse is beating hard, I sense that you are understandably nervous to find yourself in a position to accept or reject a special, intimate gift that has been tenderly offered to you." Continuing to whisper into her ear in a mesmerizing, deep masculine voice. "It is my hope that you will be accepting of all the pleasures and dreams which are before you."Dana gulped, wanting some words to come out of her throat, but nothing happened. She wasn't sure if those stuck words ever made it onto her tongue what they would say to Orlando's proposition. She liked the idea that they could be a 'yes', but something held her back from giving an answer. She let her emotions bubble hot inside of her, waiting until they were ready to come out in their own time; she wished and hoped they'd be an accepting 'yes', but she wasn't sure.The roaming fingers of her cooing partridge traced down the side of her neck, parting her collar from her prickly, heated skin. His fingers found her bra strap and followed it lower along the pathway that brought his touch to the slope of her tit. With one hand, the tips of his fingers ran along the upper rim of her black lacy cup while the other hand undid the top button of her blouse. Orlando breathed his warm, moist breath into her ear. "You've changed into something lacy since I've arrived," was Orlando's observation. "You have not given me a spoken answer as to whether you'll accept an intimate gift, but I have gotten your subtle answer by my discovery of your hidden charms. You are a charming woman," Orlando breathed into her ear in a husky voice, and then gave her a small kiss on the cheek.Dana let out a small moan as she unconsciously tipped her head back, exposing her throat and lifting her tits as Orlando teased her flesh as he continued with his light touch running along the contours of her bra. Her gift lover recognized the moan, the short breaths, the exposed throat and the visible flush of her chest as the tell-tale signs of a woman drifting into seduction. Dana didn't have to speak; she had already extended an invitation in the wordless language of lovers for Orlando to take her wherever he wanted to go.Orlando worked deliberately, unfastening each button as he pressed his warm lips to her throat followed by tiny, wet touches with the tip of his tongue. Dana let his attention wash over her skin, floating on warm waves that rippled through her insides. With the bottom button undone, he rolled his fingers around her cups, petting her ribs before setting his fingers between her fingers, lifting their entwined hands and guiding Dana out of the kitchen, floating toward the back of the house.Lifting her unfastened shirt off her shoulders, Orlando tossed it over a chair in the corner and then pressed her with his palm, forcing Dana to fall back onto the bed. Dana landed on her back with a giggle, loving the feeling of being desired and taken. She placed her hands behind her head, accentuating her tits covered in the gossamer black fabric of her cups. She relished watching Orlando, waiting to see his next move.Orlando reached into the side pocket of his jacket, tossing a small bottle onto the bed. "What's that?" asked Dana from her reclining pin-up girl pose."Consider it 'partridge oil,' my little chickpea. Some of us more experienced partridges find that a dab or two on a partridge's pecker makes for smoother night's nesting in our chosen pear tree."Dana broke into a broad grin, "I never knew partridges were such considerate birds," she said."Not all partridges are, some will leave droppings on your car. But when a partridge finds an attractive limb or two, we partridges are known to be considerate nesters." Orlando tossed his jacket over the back of the corner chair and then stripped off his shirt, shoes and socks."Now, I believe this old, experienced partridge has found a pair of attractive limbs that interest me a great deal." Orlando crawled onto the bed, unsnapped Dana's pants and pulled them off as she lifted her lower limbs skyward. Orlando admired her matching lacy black panties for a moment before he swooped in and removed the pair just as he'd done with her pants. "Ah, there is a pretty little partridge nest at the top of a pair of attractive limbs," announced Orlando, more to himself than to Dana.Dana felt shy, but at the same time pleased to be the object of a man's intimate attention for the first time in a long time. She lay on the bed, her cunny and pubic hair exposed to Orlando's admiring eyes while still trussed up in her bra. She squirmed over to retrieve the bottle of lubricant that Orlando had tossed onto the quilt. She shook it in front of the shirtless man lying next to her, teasing him she asked, "Don't you have to molt or something before this 'partridge oil' can be applied to your pecker?" She was pleased to see the fabric at his crotch stretched over a nice, rigid form."I'm getting the urge to roost, but I'd enjoy a little more playtime." Orlando tucked his targeted pear tree under the heavy quilt, slipping under to join her. He pulled her over to cuddle next to him. He slipped her straps off her shoulders, massaging and nibbling at her back as he unhooked the last of her garments, discarding it over the side of the bed. He rolled her onto her back, cupping and squeezing her tits as he kissed her arms, working his lips to the top of her tit, bunching her tit in his firm grip as he pushed her erect nipple into his mouth. He inhaled her exquisitely sensitive titty tip with a vigorous suction that filled his hot, wet mouth. His tongue darted and circled around her puffed up bits, sending sparks shooting into her clit. He worked her fleshy mounds over with his mouth, drooling over her melons and adding to the juicy wet sensation she was getting between her thighs.As he lapped at her nipples, caressing, licking, squeezing and mashing her mammaries with his right hand, his left hand traveled across her belly, inching its way lower on her body. Dana opened herself, thrilled to once again feel the pleasure of a man intimately handling all of her excited girl parts. Her cunny was more than moist, her breathing shallow and her brain swimming in a warm fog. Dana arched her hips as Orlando's hand petted her bush; her little princess ached to once again be embraced by a dancing partner. It has been so long. Her warm, buttery inner parts were feeling more wonderful than she ever remembered.Orlando's fingers passed over her dewy vulva with a firm pressure. His hand made a tight circular grinding motion before he spread her puffy lips open, probing along her slick walls, climbing up her canyon. Dana held her breath, she wanted to squeal before he got to her clit, but she held her silence with closed eyes, letting the anticipation of first contact build in her lungs and in her loins.Orlando's fingertip crept up the underside of her rigid clit, painting her in her own sex juices. He circled her aroused bud, triggering a flash of blue electricity that shot under her skin to her toes. Dana's hips bucked; her ass arched as she pushed her sex trigger into her lover's fingers. He ran a couple of his fingers into her slippery cunny, drawing them up to her clit, bathing her in her own nectar. Dana burst into a series of brusque chirps, half-screaming, half-moaning as she was seized by convulsing and shaking legs. She choked out in shallow breaths, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh god, oh fuck. Oh, fucking fuck."Orlando let her convulsions subside. Dana covered her eyes with her hands, gasping for breath as his fingers rested, half filling her pulsing cunny. "I could be wrong -- but I'm not; you have a lot more in the tank my little chickpea." Orlando stuffed his fingers further up inside her cunt as if he was taking the measure of her tank. He pulled out slowly, making sure he tickled her g-spot as he withdrew from her throbbing void."I might have forgotten about the next element in your Secret Santa swap tonight, except it is so fucking uncomfortable right now. I'm afraid you'll have to perform the final plucking of your evening's gift partridge. I will need the skilled digits of my beautiful assistant; would you please remove my remaining apparel. I have been instructed by the one who sent me, to inform you that there is a special package waiting for you underneath."With the glee of a young girl selecting her wrapped package from under the Christmas tree, Dana rolled on her side, unzipping Orlando's white trousers and pulling them off. His erection was obvious under his holiday themed underwear, yet it looked as if his underwear was packing more than expected. Curious about his cock and whatever extras accompanied his package, she tugged his last bit of wrapping away to reveal the full package. Dana whooped in surprise, and laughed a hearty laugh, admiring the red bow adding a festive cheer to his stiff prick. "Oh my! Is this all for me?" she giggled.Orlando shrugged, "I suggest you read the label. If it's not addressed to you, I've made a terrible mistake."Dana picked up the card hanging from the red bow, dangling below Orlando's Christmas balls: "On the First Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. I've decided to exchange more than cookies after our usual Christmas Cookie Exchange. Dana, Merry Fucking Christmas! -- McNally."Dana let a little squeak escape, "This is all so very naughty."Orlando thrust his hips toward Dana, "Yes it is. Would you do me a favor and unknot me?" he said, shaking his boner in front of her to get her to remove the bow and gift card from his masculine package.Dana's eyes flashed with a mischievous grin, she wiggled her fingers in excitement before blushing as she reached to the base of the proud cock, lifting the elastic band at the base to un-decorate Orlando's extended organ."Thank you," was his response as his partridge cock was now as free as a bird. He searched the folds of the bed cover, looking to find the bottle of partridge pecker oil he'd tossed onto the bed earlier. Dana found it under her bottom, showing her find to Orlando."May I?" was her question as she managed a sheepish look up into Orlando's eyes."The pleasure would be all mine," he replied.Dana reached out to grab his manhandle, coaxing him into bed. She crawled over him, letting her tits hang down, dangling in his face. She dropped her shoulders, let one nipple land on his lips, he gave her a lick, and then she plopped her other nipple to his lips, receiving a second exhilarating lick. She scooted down, grasping the base of his cock, about to apply a dab of lube, when she thought better of her idea.She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, marveling at the inflexible piece of anatomy, trying to recall the fun of having a man's stiff cock penetrating her. It had been a while since she had even imagined enjoying the pleasure of a good fucking. She admired his towering erection, abandoned her last bit of hesitation holding her back and opened her lips and took him in deep. She moved her hands to his nuts, caressed them as she swabbed the hot pink shaft with her tongue. She sucked and stroked him, bringing him to maximum stiffness without a hint of gagging, feeling proud of her accomplishment.Orlando held her head tight between his hands as she bobbed up and down in slow, long strokes with her lips. Orlando's hands reached under her, grabbing a handful of titties in each hand, massaging her boobs and making sure she had her plush nips squeezed between his fingers just the right amount of rough, stimulating pleasure.Dana was getting lathered up again, her lady parts were plump and wet with the thrill of sucking a thick cock and the powerful handling of her tits, making her want that cock to leave her lips and tongue and find its way down to her labia and clit. Dana let Orlando's erection pull out of her mouth with a satisfying plop. She closed her eyes and made the deep humming sound of an aroused woman wanting and waiting to be taken.Orlando positioned his hand under her hanging udders, holding them in his solid grasp; he tilted her onto her back. Picking up the bottle of lube, he poured a small stream over her steaming cunt, rubbing his shaft with a second slathering. Dana's humming picked up in pitch as the cold lube oil fell on her labia, but Orlando's warm hands worked it into her soft girly flesh and made her feel happy and aroused to be pampered with floral scented oil on her feminine folds.Orlando had a well-oiled tool after a couple of strokes. He was eager to climb into his pear tree after great stimulating oral sex and the delight of handling Dana's attractive and suitably large and pendulous tits. He spread Dana's legs, pushing her knees wide after oiling her inner thighs. With a little bounce he crow-hopped between Dana's outstretched legs, landing on the gaping fruit of his pear tree. His partridge flew into her, surprising her with his sudden furious first fuck. He was thick and forced her apart, she felt stuffed; startled at the filling sensation, surprised at the penetration and swoopy with the undulating, gripping response of her unpracticed sex muscles to Orlando's perching inside her cunt.Orlando gripped her hips, Dana's legs pointed up as he pounded her with scooping, hungry thrusts of his hips, poking, prodding, pushing his pecker deeper into her ravenous nether regions. Her screams began with his first humping thrust; each blow between her legs brought a corresponding scream, he was the hammer, she was the anvil. The hammer hit her with shuddering force, the anvil of her sex rang out with each blow in an echoing scream of unbridled pleasure. She was being pounded into a form of malleable feminine flesh as her lover worked her over.Dana had been fucked many times before, she and Sander had made love, mad love, lazy love, hungry love and yet this was new for her. She let each throbbing thrust push her higher. She let Orlando's prick hammer her hard, pushing her to that orgasmic edge, an edge that was always a mystery. Dana never knew what was over the edge, at least not until she had been pushed over it and was falling into its abyss, filled with swirling clouds and tumbling waves of passion. She gave herself away, letting Orlando push her to the edge.She was hanging at the edge of her orgasm, she felt her lover's muscles tighten along his lean body, his breathing was labored, her desire was to feel him cum inside her. She wanted to give herself to him. In giving herself up to his explosive ejaculation, she would be blasted into deep space. The lovers would be swept away together in a perfect climax.Dana tensed in response to the man fucking her as he strained to gather his energy like a coiled spring planted deep inside her sex chamber. With a throaty groan, Orlando let his seed burst from his loins, flooding Dana with white hot fluid. She felt his release. His energy tripped her delicately balanced desire. Orlando's hot splash burst against the back of her vibrating inner hollow, exploding out through her lungs, rattling her pelvis as she shook and collapsed at its seductive power. The heat of her explosion radiated through all her muscles, warping the dimensions of her bedroom.Orlando rolled off her, pulling the heavy quilt over the two of them. He pulled Dana close to him, spooning with her as he buried his nose in her hair, letting his hand rest on her tit as dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads as they snuggled into a relaxed sleep like a contented partridge in a sweet pear tree.December's late sunrise was filtering through the blinds when Dana opened her eyes at Orlando's touch on her bare back. He ran his hand over her skin, rubbing the small of her back as she rolled over on her stomach. Waking up to a man's roaming hands was a forgotten pleasure for Dana. Her night's partner massaged her rump as she purred. Orlando gave her a light smack across her ass, whispering, "You have a beautiful pear-shaped ass, fresh and firm." He bent over and took a tiny nip at her flank, Dana flinched, then he kissed it all better."I regret that I have an appointment for later this morning. Please excuse me, but I will take my leave after a wonderful experience." Dana watched him dress from under a wad of sheets and blankets."Mr. Partridge?" she called as he moved toward the bedroom door, Orlando smiled and turned toward the nude woman lying in bed."Yes?" he asked in a jaunty tone."Tell McNally, 'Have yourself a Merry Fucking Christmas to one and to all', would you?"Orlando chuckled, "That sounds like an inside joke among The Chix. I'll leave that one up to you to deliver that message, my little chickpea." Orlando let himself out of the house. Two Turtle DovesDana was reluctant to rise out of bed; she wished she could linger under the covers with a lover all day. But she was resigned to the fact that the day had to move forward. She locked the door, put on a pot of coffee and made her bed. Her phone pinged. She went to find it and red the incoming text.It was from Annie, 'Clear your calendar this afternoon girl. I'll be delivering a holiday surprise package to your house. You will need to be at home to receive it!' Dana's first thought was, how sweet of Annie.She was expecting a visit from Annie when the doorbell rang mid-afternoon. Dana was surprised to see Nelson on her doorstep. "Is Annie with you?" Dana asked with a quizzical look and a realization that she was experiencing a flash of deja vu all over again.Nelson stepped into the house carrying a small gift bag and handed Dana a scroll tied with a white ribbon. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Nelson. "This is all so mysterious - again," she said with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall. Dana ran her eyes up and down the broad, well-toned frame of the dark-haired man whom she had known as a friend for many years.Dana unfurled the scroll, feeling a hot flush ignite her face as she red Annie's words while her complexion blushed to contrast with the scroll's ribbon. Dana sucked in her breath; her eyes grew wide as she red what had just been handed to her. From what was written in the scroll, it sounded like Annie had sent her husband, Nelson over to her as a special gift. Nelson was here to give her 'a time of holiday magic.' Annie's introduction stated that 'Nelson was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and for this one time only, Santa would be unloading his sack and giving his gifts to one of the naughty girls on his list.' According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'to be swept away and be surprised by the goodies that were stuffed into her stocking.'Dana took another short breath as she finished reading; she understood that the text Annie had sent this morning was but a pretext, a set up. Her lips parted as she realized that there were waves of warm desire flowing in her center as she detected a sudden firming within her lady parts. She was pleasantly embarrassed as she felt another blush rise to her nipples, throat and face.Nelson stared at Dana, analyzing her expressions, making sure she had figured out the reason for his visit. Dana knew he was watching her for a sign of her willingness to have him romance the pants off of her. Nelson's stare made her feel bashful as she kept her secret of wanting to be desired and ravaged by a man who had been off limits -- until now.Nelson saw enough in Dana's eyes, shy smile and crimson blush to pursue Annie's plan. "You understand why Annie sent me over here, don't you?"Dana wanted to reach out to touch him to affirm that she did, but she kept her hands to herself. She folded herself up in a demure stance and waited for Nelson to make his move. "Annie said you might need some convincing, but that my appearance and purpose would not be a total surprise to you -- whatever that may mean." Nelson put his hands on her shoulders, whispered into her ear, "Merry Trystmas, from me and Annie to you."Dana spun away as Nelson was moving his hands toward her tits, but not too far away. "What's in the bag Nelson?" she said as she lifted her neck to peek at the gift bag on the floor behind him."Ah, glad you asked. Allow me to say that I have been sent to your lovely side in this special season and my quest is to hunt for turtle doves. It is my understanding that turtle doves always, always come in pairs. I am a connoisseur of turtle doves, and I will search high and low to find such a pair. I assure you that I will leave no stone, or garment, unturned in my assigned quest to find a pair of white turtle doves." Nelson lifted the bag, "May I share with you my turtle dove hunting strategy?" he asked as he nudged Dana into her kitchen.Dana crossed her arms over her chest, "I would be very interested in your proposed hunting strategy. But I've heard it takes a bit of skill and charm and a degree of luck to flush a pair of turtle doves out into the open. Is that true?" Dana rocked her shoulders in a coquettish fashion as she let Nelson follow her to the kitchen table."Luck, my lady, has nothing to do with it." Nelson put the bag of goodies on the table, "It is all charm and skill," he let out a good-natured laugh at his exaggerated sexual swagger to his longtime friend and with a little luck, soon to be lover. "Let me show you some of the enticing baits that have worked well for generations of turtle dove poachers. Nelson reached into the bag and drew out a small, ornate candy box.He handed it to Dana, "Go ahead, open it," he insisted. Dana removed the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside were a half-dozen chocolate covered pecans clusters."Oh yes, I see why these might work. They're turtle candies -- like decoys. You're a very clever hunter Nelson. You say these are used as bait to lure turtle doves out into the open?"Nelson was pleased with Dana's playful reaction, "Yes indeed, that's the plan. It's in all the field guides that I've red. The use of these little chocolates makes me a master baiter."Dana snorted at Nelson's set up. "I guess I should've seen that cumming," she added once she'd caught her breath.Nelson nodded to her with a sly smile, acknowledging her playful comeback. "The old-time hunters have a saying, 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.' But I'm of the opinion that the hunt can be as much fun as the capture."Dana straightened her spine and rounded her shoulders to emphasize her cleavage as she smirked at the great hunter seated across the table from her. "When does hunting season open?""I got another trick in my bag." Nelson pulled out a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup, holding it in front of Dana."Oh, you are a clever man, Nelson. I see what you've done; chocolate turtle decoys and Dove chocolate sauce, yes, quite clever preparations for a turtle dove safari." Dana was suppressing a giggle at the sight of Nelson's selected ingredients on her table. "But I have no idea how such items are combined with a hunter's skill and charm."Nelson snickered at Dana's pretend gullibility, "That's just the segue that an old, out of practice turtle dove hunter needs," he said in appreciation of her beguiling playfulness. "Allow me to demonstrate."Nelson held a turtle candy to her lips; Dana stuck out her tongue as he fed it to her. Dana licked and smacked her lips seductively as she devoured the bait. Nelson selected a second turtle, covering it with a squirt of chocolate syrup before he held it to her lips. Dana stuck out her tongue; Nelson missed her mouth, smearing gooey syrup over her chin and running down her jaw. "Oops. I might not be the skilled master baiter that I thought I was," he said as he picked up a napkin from the table. Nelson, dabbed at her face and neck, but ended up smearing the syrup into a larger mess. "Oops. How clumsy of me. This isn't working so well, let me try something else." Nelson moved in close to Dana and began licking her face in long, slow scoops. Dana held still as he worked his tongue off her chin and down her throat.Dana began to coo as she enjoyed the wet, messy sensation of being devoured."I hear the cooing sounds of turtle doves," whispered Nelson between his slow slurps mixed with kisses. "There must be a pair nearby. Let me see if I can sneak up on them.""I think they're hiding somewhere in here." Nelson inserted his hands under the front of Dana's blouse, rambling among the straps and cups. Nelson unbuttoned the upper buttons, reaching over to the bottle of chocolate syrup and dribbled a little stream on her throat. Dana tossed her head back, exposing the dark vein and inviting Nelson to clean her up with his tongue.Nelson sucked and licked his way down her throat to her chest while he finished undoing her top. After removing her shirt, he had her rise from her chair. He held his hands behind her head, working them down to her bra. With a deft snap of his fingers, Dana was undone. "Ah, these two turtle doves are too beautiful to be hidden away, caged and cooped up. Let me free these gentle beasts." Nelson draped her bra over the back of the chair before dribbling more Dove chocolate syrup on her upper chest."Yum, you taste so good for a bad girl." Nelson pushed Dana with his tongue and hands, making her lie back on the tabletop, tits up. More syrup was applied to her tits as Nelson dipped in, licking under her titties before grasping them like an ice cream cone and taking big licks across her accentuated nipples rising stiff and bright as a red, glowing holiday light atop the Christmas tree. Nelson's hot and eager mouth enveloped her exposed chocolate covered cherries; licking and smacking with his lashing tongue, rolling across her rounded holiday orbs, flush with excitement at the naughty attention they were garnering.Dana's pants and panties were off before she knew what was happening. She was bathed in ribbons of chocolate syrup from the tip of her two tits down to hip bones. Nelson lapped at her in a voracious, tooth-snapping fashion. He paused to admire her up-thrust boobs, "You are one of my new favorite Christmas treats; big, round teats like milky scoops topped off with tasty red berries, then covered in chocolate. Yum, yum-yum!"Dana had thrown her hands up over her head in sweet surrender as she was consumed figuratively by glowing desire and literally by the ravenous lips and tongue of her lover. She shifted further over the table, opening her thighs and dangling her legs off the table's edge, hoping she looked yummy and delicious. Offering herself as a holiday treat to the man she hoped to entice to keep on licking all the way down to her Christmas wonderland.Dana was not disappointed. Her bare chest was cleaned up well by Nelson's fastidious fussing over her naked body slathered in sweetness. Nelson let his tongue flow downstream, following the rivulet of syrup that ran along the contours of her body. Taking a seat in the chair Dana had just vacated, he pushed her thighs apart, running his fingers up from her knees to the intimate interior canyon that opened between her legs. Spreading her puffy, pink labia, Nelson held her open to peek at her engorged twat protruding beyond the folds of delicate flesh. Dana's half-hidden clit looked like a poorly re-wrapped gift after a curious child had taken a little peek underneath, unable to wait until Christmas morning to find out what was inside.Nelson's own package was straining to break out of his trousers and feeling even more uncomfortable with the bow and tag that Annie had made him wear before coming to seduce their friend Dana under the pretense of looking for two turtle doves. "Excuse me, I almost forgot, I have a package that is for you," Nelson mumbled as he looked over Dana's fuzzy pubic mound up toward her face. He stood, took off his blazer, shirt and boots and socks and then dropped his trousers.Dana lifted her head enough to see Nelson's erection had a pretty bow attached to its base. She exclaimed, "Is that package for me?""Read the gift tag," he said as he turned so that Dana red the attached card:"Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. If you decide to be a bad girl this year, you may find a couple of turtle dove eggs laid upon your nest. Merry Fucking Christmas! Annie."Dana pulled off his phallic decoration, caressing his eggs after unwrapping his package. "The card says if I am a bad girl, my two turtle doves might get me laid and I might find a couple of eggs on my pussy's nest.""Ho ho ho, have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?" Nelson inquired with a prurient interest as he filled her excited crevasse with a couple of slow, pumping fingers."I've been feeling so bad that I've been so good - that is up until recently. Now that I've become a bad girl, I've been feeling pretty good. Nelson, when you're looking over your list of who's naughty and who's nice; if I told you I want your hot cock stuffed down my chimney, would you hold it against me?"Nelson was in no mood to joke around now that his proud member was trimmed for action. He slipped his hands under Dana's ass, leaned into her cunt and gave her clit several flicks with his tongue. Dana squirmed and squealed at the soft, fleshy contact with her clit."Um, this is the moist wonderful time of the year," proclaimed Nelson as he came between her legs, driving into her cunt, stuffing her good and plenty.Dana's breath burst in a big whoosh as her sex muscles clamped down on the stiff man-flesh pumping into her pulsing parts. Nelson kept up a rhythmic pumping as he ran the pad of his thumb around her wild clitoris.Dana's hips bucked in response to the driving, throbbing action of a cock, forcing her intimate space to yield to its girth. Prickly sparks shot out into her toes as her twat was twiddled in a pool of chocolate syrup her lover had dripped over her pink jellybean.Dana's legs lifted into the air, she opened herself to a full throttle fucking. Nelson's bush-beating stick pounded her flesh; each heavy pumping stroke pushed her higher and higher. Dana felt herself rising to her orgasmic peak.Nelson could feel the sexual tension inside her as she offered counter thrusts. He could hear her swelling orgasm in her swooning moans. He continued his pace, knowing it was driving her toward a shattering orgasm.Dana threw her hands over her face in ecstasy as the building orgasm exploded in her core, blasting away her breath as she barked out short, sharp moans. She was a hot pool of jelly on her kitchen table. She was a mess with chocolate syrup making her skin sticky sweet as it mixed with her salty sweat and gushing love juices.The fantastic vibrations echoing in her cunt were starting to mellow when Nelson reached under her and flipped her tits-down and had her spread eagle across the table. She lifted her hips as Nelson grabbed her ass cheeks, presenting her cunt for a doggy-style penetration. Nelson poured chocolate syrup over his turgid phallus and flew at her gaping cunt with a hearty and lusty thrust. He gave her a sharp spank that cracked across the kitchen as he yelled,"On Dasher, on Prancer, on Boner, oh fuck I'm Blitzen!Oh fuck, I'm cumming in your chimney tonight."Nelson pumped her cunt, poking Dana deep, she was moaning with every thrust and every command to his flying, fucking reindeer. Another spank on her flank and Nelson grunted as he stuffed himself deep into her consuming cunt. He held her ass tight to his balls as he shot a blizzard of white cum into Dana's happy cunt.Nelson dropped back into the chair, looking exhausted and quite pleased. Dana was warmed to see Nelson looking so satisfied. She gave him a kiss and then shook her tits, slapping his cheeks with her chocolate syrup painted orbs, making a bigger mess of his face.Dana crawled into his lap, feeling his used-up strength begin to fade. She was happy to have made such a big, fun mess in her kitchen again. "Come on. You're not done until you've cleaned your two turtle doves that you so charmingly flushed into the open." Dana led Nelson by the hand, pushing him into her warm shower where she joined him, making him soap up her lady parts and get them squeaky clean.They toweled one another dry, paying extra attention to those parts once dredged in Dove chocolate syrup, making sure all was spanking clean. Nelson tiptoed back to his pile of clothes on the kitchen floor, dressing himself and apologizing that, "There is some Holiday business I have to attend to at the station."Before walking back out through the door, he gave Dana a squeeze, "I'd fantasized about taking you on the kitchen table before, of course I never thought I would ever enjoy the opportunity. Honestly, Annie deserves a lot of credit for fulfilling my wish list - though I never mentioned this fantasy to her. She's uncanny sometimes." With a playful goose of Dana's two turtle doves, he whispered, "Merry Trystmas," shutting the door behind him as Dana heard a faint 'Ho Ho Ho' as Nelson flew out into the chilly December night. To be continued in part 3, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

Ep. 93 Merry fucking Christmas. Welcome to the Healthy Illness podcast. I am your host, Kelly Marie, and today we're going to dive into the most wonderful time of the year. Or is it? In this episode, we'll explore the complex relationship many of us have with the holiday season, particularly Christmas. As someone who lives with mental health conditions, I understand the challenges that can arise during this time. But I also believe that we can build healthier relationships and find peace amidst the chaos. So, let's dive in. Key Takeaways: Christmas can be a challenging time for many people, and it's important to set boundaries and experience it your way! The pressure to give extravagant gifts and create the perfect holiday experience can be overwhelming and not sustainable. Love, kindness, and generosity should be practiced every day, not just during the holiday season. It's important to evaluate why you celebrate the holidays and focus on what brings you joy and healing. Mindfulness involves accepting and being present in the moment, without judgment. Quotes: "Love me today or not at all." "Everything that brings you peace may not bring you joy." "Feelings are not facts." "Be okay with wherever you are." "Focus on mindfulness and being present in the moment."

SENILE GRANDMA FUCKING ON CHRISTMAS.. COUSIN SENDING NASTY PICS AT CHRISTMAS TO HER FAMILY.. IT'S ALL HERE ON MISTRESS MIA'S DUNGEON! JOIN JOHN AND MIA AS THEY DISCUSS SOME FUNNY STORIES OF PEOPLE JUST DOING THEIR DIRTY THING ON CHRISTMAS! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mistress-mia8/support

Metalheads!! Merry Fucking Christmas; we bring a helping heaping of Leftist Metal.

Merry Fucking Christmas… TIME to fix broken relationships   I spent 4 Christmases in Prison. It tought me it's time to forgive. So TODAY is about FORGIVING… Your mother, father, sister, brother, children, wife, husband, son, or daughter needs you today… Just do it.. Its fucking Christmas! Fix your broken family (imagine what that feels like??) Send a sms or video message so they can see your face and your emotion… Be genuine & positive with your message, its impossible to not get a positive reply… Today it's that 1 opportunity to reach out and leave the past in the past. And rebuild those relationships that have suffered. Consequences if you don't? 1 Regret 2 Your life will be worse without them in it 3 Their life will be worse without you in it 4 You children's lives will suffer 5 Their children's lives will suffer 6 You all get further apart 7 Someone will get cancer and die 8 You won't be at their funeral 8 Weddings will happen, and you'll miss the moment    FIX a Broken FAMILY today by SHARING THIS. Look in the mirror…  Listen to your conscience Do you feel proud of yourself?   Thought not…   You know what to do, so ‘Just Do IT' Real stories by at Christmas Bringing people back together.   FIX a Broken FAMILY today by SHARING THIS episode.

Thank you for downloading episode 34 of our podcast!!    In episode 34, a bumper Christmas Special sees Mr & Mrs G chat about a visit to Church, and the feelings that rekindles in Mrs G, as well as another Mrs G faux pas! Also, as it's Christmas, there is a selection box with a variety of special guests who regular listeners may recognise, all with varying levels of lifestyle experience and different dynamics, and all with some lifestyle tips and some questions for the G's. Their usual lighthearted and fun chat, this is an honest and open account of where they are in their journey into the lifestyle.  You'll feel like you're sat in a hotel bar with long term friends having a sexy discussion! In the words of some of their special guests, the G's wish you a Merry Fucking Christmas, and a Horny New Year!!! If you fancy joining a sailing for a UK Virgin Voyage in September 2024 from Portsmouth to Amsterdam, feel free to contact Mrs G (contacts below) to get more details. Contact us at: Email: '⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠hello@sexlessswingers.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠' X / Twitter: '@sexlessswingers' FabSwingers - 'The_Sexless_Swingers' Please note, explicit adult theme of a sexual nature are discussed and this podcast is for 18+ only. Credit for mentions: Intro and exit music via Pixabay - Track: Summer Trip with a Guitar - Artist: Sweet KR

Oh boy, this episode is unlike ALL my other episodes in the past! I decided to lay it all on the table, like an up close and personal with ME!I dunno, I just wanted to share all my thoughts in the most honest and unfiltered way as possible.  In this episode, I talked about my key takeaways for the year. I talked a lot about my creative projects (e.g., I worked on three short films this year), my fulltime job, my recent trip to the Philippines, my getting into an accident in CA while filming "To Ken With Love," and the importance of family and finding the people that you can truly count on. So take a listen, or not - I don't care, but either way, don't forget to just be you. Merry Fucking Christmas! HOHOHO!

En av oss rapporterer om kebab klokka 3 etter årets best dokumenterte fest og et felleskort som gikk varmt på Kondomeriet. Den andre bidrar med litt tyngde i dagens episode, nemlig en viktig studie om hva vi prioriterer å bruke tiden vår på gjennom livet og lærerike barnebøker. Jada, vi utfyller hverandre og godt er det for oss alle!

Whudddddup Bitches? It's officially November so, MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS! If you're like me you LIVE for this time of the year but it can also be a difficult time of the year to navigate with your goals and such. NOT NO MORE I'm gonna share my 5 biggest tips on finishing the year strong and going into 2023 like the bad bitch you are. BOOK REVIEWS OF THE WEEK DIRTY UGLY DOLLS - K. Webster CATCHING LIGHTENING - Kayleigh King + Greer Rivers HEARTLESS - Elsie Silver TOP READ OF OCTOBER THE RITUAL - Shantel Tessier got questions? need advice? email me @ bethatbpod@gmail.com & make sure to follow me over on the gram @allygriffeth

It's a Christmas episode!! You're all gonna make a BUNCH of money! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sam-trodbone/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/sam-trodbone/support

Frohe Weihnachten wünscht das Team von Frisch Gebrannt!

Merry Fucking Christmas to you. In this episode we dive into a really amazing looking pocket pussy, Kids home made underwear, dirty places you've been sucked off and things to tell hookers who want to blow you. Its a wonderful time of the year. Go Fucking Deep.  DETAILED TIMELINE  1:00 GDub in studio  2:00 Sixty day express  3:00 What do you've got to offer 4:00 Oh my god I'm gonna cry 5:00 GDub and grad school 6:00 120 grand in debt 7:00 The old masturbator terminator 8:00 The pocket pussy thats out of stock 9:00 Pregnancy survival kit 10:00 Stirups for baseball 11:00 Found Endo panties and goodies 12:00 Its all baseball  13:00 Where's the nastiest place you ever nailed a chick 14:00 Get on that lemonade 15:00 Peeling a banana with her teeth 16:00 Offers me 50 bucks to drive her 17:00 Drop her off at undercover cops house 18:00 Find that clip of Gdub Sounds 19:00 Old masturbator machine. Go Deep.

It's Christmas Eve Eve and I'm going tell a few stores. So sit yo ass by the fire place and get yourself a spiked hot chocolate an listen up! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kaitlin071/message

Mr. P & P farts? - Mr P. tells his story of when he was just 17,

On this very special Christmas episode. We are joined by Uncle Elroy Clause a member of the clause family, some call him the black sheep, some call him a real problem but all of us call him daddy. He came in hot with his favorite elf Dingle to help keep the Christmas spirit alive. This podcast is NOT FOR CHILDREN. This podcast is sponsored by The Garage Bar 1091 Scandia ave. Ventura Ca Follow them on social media, head down and have a few drinks. https://www.facebook.com/TheGarageBarVentura/ https://www.instagram.com/thegaragebarventura/ Email us at: getheavypodcast@gmail.com Listen to audio on all major Podcast formats. Please subscribe, rate, review, comment, TELL YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS Watch us @ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo8wwIF25p2miEG2neoUv2w/ Follow All things Heavy @https://linktr.ee/Getheavypod Call the Get Heavy Hotline to leave messages, texts, memes, reviews, comments, and answer the questions of the week. 805-666-2314 Enjoy, Craig and J --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/getheavypodcast/support

Enjoy Episode 20!!! You can find all of our socials by clicking on our website link and scrolling to the bottom, You can also buy our new merch on our website by clicking Catalog!! If you'd like to support us and become a patron, the link is at the bottom of what you are reading right now.To try out Raze and see all their products click on this link and use the code DFWAI at checkout to get 15% off! https://reppsports.com/?rfsn=4815261.40dd43&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=4815261.40dd43Gmail- dfwai.podcast@gmail.comWebsite- https://dfwaipodcast.com/Support the show and become a patreon! https://www.patreon.com/DFWAIpodcastSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/DFWAIpodcast)

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS - ya filthy animals See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Got Faded Japan ep 579 Beer o Clause didn't make it this year... Or did he? There's only one way to find out tune in for the Got Faded Japan Christmas Special where Johnny and Tom break down their favorite holiday shenanigans post Corona and oh, dear God...so much news that's not fit for the holidays. So curl up with your favorite beverage and let's all get lit by the fire place! Merry Fucking Christmas from GFJ! FADE ON! NOW YOU CAN DIRECTLY SUPPORT THE SHOW AND BECOME A PATREON! Supporting GOT FADED JAPAN ON PATREON directly supports keeping this show going and fueled with booze (seriously could you imagine the show sober?? Neither can we) SUPPORT GFJ at: https://www.patreon.com/gotfadedjapan   CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS AND SUPPORT THE SHOW!!!! 1.THE SPILT INK: Get prints and art at: SITE https://www.thespiltink.com ETSY https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheSpiltInk?ref=hdr_shop_menu 2.Soul Food Househttps: //soulfoodhouse.comAddress:2-chōme−8−10 | Azabujūban | Tokyo | 106-0045 Phone:03-5765-2148 Email:info@soulfoodhouse.com Location Features:You can reach Soul Food House from either the Oedo Line (get off at Azabujuban Station and it's a 7-minute walk) or the Namboku Line (get off at Azabujuban Station and it's a 6-minute walk). 3.Ghost Town Pomade FADE IN STYLE with Ghost Town Pomade.Get yours today by contacting: ghosttownpomade@gmail.com     4.MITSUYA: 1　Chome- 13 -17 Asagayaminami, Suginami Tokyo 166-0004　 Tel & Fax: 0303314-6151Email: saketoyou0328@gmail.com     5.Harry’s Sandwich Company 1 min walk from Takeshita Street in HarajukuCall 050-5329-7203 Address: 〒150-0001 Tokyo, Shibuya City, Jingumae, 1 Chome−16−7 MSビル 3F https://www.facebook.com/harryssandwichco/   GET YOURSELF SOME GOT FADED JAPAN MERCH TODAY!!! We have T-Shirts, COFFEE Mugs, Stickers, even the GFJ official pants! BUY NOW AND SUPPORT THE SHOW: http://www.redbubble.com/people/thespiltink/works/16870492-got-faded-japan-podcast       The Got Faded Japan Podcast gives listeners a glimpse of the most interesting side of Japan's news, culture, peoples, parties, and all around mischief and mayhem. Hosted by Johnny and Tom who adds opinions and otherwise drunken bullshit to the mix. We LOVE JAPAN AND SO DO YOU! Send us an email on Facebook or hell man, just tell a friend & post a link to keep this pod rolllin' Fader! Kanpai mofos!    

It's that time. Joy to the world? MF right. Have some quick reminders about how to handle the holidays. Plus, the free TMFR tee winner is revealed!

Terror Stouts And Ales, Ted Fucks Ted And All We Want For Christmas Is For John Silver To Let Us In The Dark Order! Merry Fucking Christmas! This Week We Dive Into Two Must Watch Holiday Classics! So Grab Some Hot Cocoa And Put Down That Cookie Or Else Goldberg Will Stuff Your Stocking! instagram: @terrortwinspodcast twitter: @terrortwinspc Rate and Review on Apple Podcasts.

Merry Fucking Christmas nerds. we lit off Jameson and Nog and we called the boys at the Plunge for our Plunge Picks for our favorite Holiday Movies. it’s lit. is a dick suck cheating? we do trailer trash! and discuss how awesome Todd McFarland is... or yeah and we drink that night boy.      ⭕️ SAMPC is available exclusively on the Inner Circle Podcast Network ⭕️    THIS EPISODE AND EVERY EPISODE OF SAMPC IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE POWER OF @JITZSOAP go to jiujitsusoapco.com and use the codeword SAMPC for 15% your next purchase! don’t be a stinky bitch!  SAMPC is also sponsored by OhFishl Clothing!   OhFishl is a DOPE clothing brand from Arizona that blends both modern fashion with throwback style. whether you wanna it’s stylish ass t-shirt’s, accessories like brackets and necklaces or the hottest snapbacks in the game! get it at OHFISHL.COM RIGHT NOW AND USE THE CODEWORD “SAMPC” FOR 25% YOUR PURCHASE!   DONATE TO MOVEMBER:    https://movember.com/t/SAMPC    

On today's episode I answer voicemails, talk about the retardedness of the Fast and Furious Franchise, more bad podcasts, off center buttholes, and a review of the H&K P30. Call the show 551-231-3141 or email fumbledpenis@gmail.com Recorded in the ZR Tactical Solutions Studio Don't forget your last minute holiday gifts at The Tree

2nd Annual Merry Fuckin Christmas Special

Merry Fucking Christmas! On today's episode Good Moms are doing their makeup while talking their shit. Join them as they discuss why they need to stop telling their baes they have a Podcast, being to lazy to be crazy, why Erica will never date younger again, and Jamilah's people hoarding addiction. Jamilah also shares that she has sex in dungeons now and therefore has no time for former trash dick bae (Yes dungeons). They both also ponder whether mushroom/psychedelic therapy works.Happy Holidays! We are so grateful for another year with our Good Mom familia! Sending you love, light and bomb sex energy in 2020!@goodmoms_badchoicesJoin our Newsletter!www.goodmomsbadchoices.comPlease Rate and Review us on Apple Podcasts! For information regarding your data privacy, visit Acast.com/privacy See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In 2003, the world demanded two things.  A new Christmas comedy and a new Will Ferrell movie.  Not one to disappoint, Santa made some magic as he waved his hand and screamed “Merry Fucking Christmas everybody!”, and the result was one of the newer Christmas classics, Elf.  Will Ferrell stars as Buddy, a human who ends up in the North Pole after crawling into Santa’s bag one night. Santa decides to keep him and Buddy is then raised by the elfiest elf of all, Bob Newhart. But Buddy isn’t a true elf and doesn’t fit in, so he leaves to find his estranged father in NYC and hijinx ensue.  Jon Favreau directed this whimsical adventure that also stars James Caan as Buddy’s dad, Zooey Deschanel as the love interest who happens to love grown men who have childlike minds, and Mary Steenburgen as the accepting and loving step-mom.  Made for $33 million, Elf brought home $220 million at the box office and maintains a strong following among Christmas movie fans.  But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent talk all things Santa and see if this Christmas comedy a new tradition that is worth the trouble of a trip to the North Pole, or if they discover that this holiday flick is a hoax and the only gift they are getting this year is a lump of coal and a bad movie.

All her life, curvy Dara Jenkins has dreamed of a White Christmas. But when she drives into the mountains for the holidays, what she finds instead is a snowstorm that threatens to claim her life. To Dara's amazement, she's rescued by an ice dragon - who turns into a sexy, charismatic man who hasn't left his snow castle in twenty years. Henrik Drakeson is a dragon shifter who lost his parents long ago in a terrible accident. For most of his life, he has carried that burden with him, choosing loneliness over the happy visitors that once came to the family's snow castle every winter. He's promised himself he'd stay forever alone, so he'd never hurt anyone again - until his mate suddenly appears on his doorstep in a snowstorm, bringing all the joy and cheerfulness of Christmas to his lonely home. Can Dara heal the pain of his wounded heart? And can they uncover the truth about his past - and defend each other against the ruthless enemy behind the old tragedy? This is a sizzling hot, standalone BBW dragon shifter holiday romance. No cliffhangers! give it a'listen Mentioned Links Wanna know more about Zoe Chant and her many books? Cool, here's her site.Heartbreak: this book contained not a single cloaca. Also, is it clo-AY-cuh, or clo-AH-cah???? Dara Jenkins is basically Rita Leeds. Oh no, the last 30 seconds of Ash's audio disappeared! You'll have to just imagine her saying "Merry Fucking Christmas, assholes" along with Candace. What are ya gonna do?? Goodreads We'd love to have you join us in opining over on Goodreads. You can find this book over there: The Christmas Dragon's Mate by Zoe Chant, and of course join our discussion group here. Spotify Playlist Ash mixes up playlists for our books - here's a sample for this week. You can check out our Spotify profile for like, all of them if you want to see more.

Before we get to our predictions for the coming year, Matt and I rounded out 2018 by dealing with some of the more profound issues facing our world. Dicks in thongs, Pete Davidson's cries for help that ought remain unanswered, feminists in Hollywood being equally as horrible a fat gross male predators in Hollywood, and some sinister shit Taylor Swift pulled off to endanger the privacy of every living person on this planet. Also, there's a moment when I cry on behalf of Ukrainian preteens who are no longer being shuttled off to Paris to be sexually exploited by men named Guy because the Jenners have taken all the modeling gigs in the world. This may be our motion emotionally arousing episode ever. It's our longest. I can't believe this shit is free.Speaking of, as a gift to us for Christmas, don't forget to pay your buck a month and become a patron/benefactor/dirty john of the show. It not only pays for our beer each week, it allows us to purchase beers for the tween Syrian refugees who help run the show.See you all in 2019! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To quote my late grandmother, “Merry Fucking Christmas.” To celebrate the holiday we’re doing the only thing any sane podcast would do, we’re reviewing Hulk Hogan in SUBURBAN COMMANDO. Our musings lead us to praise Larry Miller, to debate 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, and to bring up many of our underrated films of the aughts. Also, we talk about the time Matt met Larry King, we recast a bunch of Christmas movies with Hulk Hogan in essential parts, and we touch on the possibility of there being a Miss Piggy sex tape. Gross.

Have you been naughty or nice? Well either way here’s another treat for you a second podcast in the same month! So settle down for our traditional miserable Christmas offering full of the usual holiday cheer. Mike and Charlie are joined by board games illustrious Uncle Tony so its a Merry Fucking Christmas to you […] The post Who Dares Rolls 53 – Another Grumpy Christmas appeared first on Who Dares Rolls.

Episode 30!!! Where Matthew and Erik talk about what they do for Christmas, what it's like being an atheist during the holidays, and we remind you all that we are here for you. If you are ever feeling alone, feel free to send us a message. :)

Christmas Day Special 2017. WARNING: Scary Creepy Pasta Story. Listen at your own risk. You may never sleep again once you have listened to this podcast episode.

I’m back, motherfuckers! Kidney stones and hangovers couldn’t kill me! Christmas time is here. Instead of an interview, I play a buttload of punk rock Christmas songs from some of my favorite bands of all time ever of all time. I also talk about Guardrail’s upcoming second annual punk rock pajama party SNUZFEST on January 13th at Wire. Plus, I chat about the last two El Famous shows, bitch about the Punk Goes series, and give you guys n gals my Christmas blessing. Hope you were able to discover something new in this episode! Grab tickets for SNUZFEST at www.wireismusic.com   Sponsor: DicksByMail.com   Music: “Merry Fucking Christmas” by The Fuck Off And Dies “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas” by blink-182 “Christmas Night Of Zombies” by MxPx “Angels We Have Heard On High” by Bayside “Merry Flippin’ Christmas” by Bowling For Soup “Ex-Miss” by New Found Glory “Unwritten Christmas” by Unwritten Law (Feat. Sum 41) “Things I Want” by Tenacious D (Feat. Sum 41) “Frosty The Snowman” by August Burns Red “Right Where You Want Me To Be” by A Day To Remember “Baby Please Come Home” by Anberlin “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” by Relient K “Silent Night” by Masked Intruder “Christmas Lights” by Yellowcard “Happy Holidays” by Guardrail   Chicago Pop Punk Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/1252916436/playlist/5V5Pf0rgt188LL2bxd4pWk   Intro: “Dreamwalker” by Speaking With Ghosts Closing theme: "I Got Another Girl Pregnant" by Guardrail Background Music: “Silent Night” “Jingle Bells (Minor Key)” “Melt With You” by Richard Cheese   www.facebook.com/StandingOutLoud www.fuckoffanddies.bandcamp.com www.blink182.com www.mxpx.com www.baysidebayside.com www.bowlingforsoup.com www.newfoundglory.com www.facebook.com/unwrittenlaw.music www.sum41.com www.tenaciousd.com www.augustburnsred.com www.adtr.com www.anberlin.com www.relientk.com www.maskedintruderband.com www.yellowcardrock.com   www.facebook.com/SpeakingWithGhosts p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 13.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Geneva} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 13.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Geneva; min-height: 17.0px} p.p3 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 13.0px Geneva; min-height: 17.0px} www.facebook.com/GuardrailChicago #guardrailsucks

Podgodz 225 Recorded 27 December 2016 This is not a repeat, we had another SNOW! FREAKOUT! Rogue One: Further thoughts Merry Fucking Christmas   LAX Top 5 Adds/Drops/Updates Add: Drop: Updates: Had to suspend Random Serling   Shows that pissed me off/weren’t good Top 5 shows of the Week   Up for contention but not making the list this week Dana Gould Hour: Manger Danger Defocused #128: The Weather Outside is Frightful, but the Luggage is So Delightful (Die Hard 2) Hello Internet: Rogue One Star Wars Christmas Special The Incomparable #332: She's the Han Solo Night Attack #148: Santa Has Diplomatic Immunity No Such Thing as a Fish #145: E/T/ Part Three TV Guidance Councilor #194: Mike Lawrence Do By Friday: A Little Something for Daddy (watch an Read More →

Podgodz 225 Recorded 27 December 2016 This is not a repeat, we had another SNOW! FREAKOUT! Rogue One: Further thoughts Merry Fucking Christmas   LAX Top 5 Adds/Drops/Updates Add: Drop: Updates: Had to suspend Random Serling   Shows that pissed me off/weren’t good Top 5 shows of the Week   Up for contention but not making the list this week Dana Gould Hour: Manger Danger Defocused #128: The Weather Outside is Frightful, but the Luggage is So Delightful (Die Hard 2) Hello Internet: Rogue One Star Wars Christmas Special The Incomparable #332: She’s the Han Solo Night Attack #148: Santa Has Diplomatic Immunity No Such Thing as a Fish #145: E/T/ Part Three TV Guidance Councilor #194: Mike Lawrence Do By Friday: A Little Something for Daddy (watch an Read More →

You probably won't have noticed but we have now switched the naming format of our episodes. That would be because we ran out of chapters for the book we were using. A long time ago we ran a competition where the winner would choose the new book to use for the episodes... no one entered so now that we've hit that point I just pulled out a book at random. So welcome to our new book Ack-Ack Macaque. Merry Fucking Christmas.

condotto da Kenzo e Sofia

condotto da Kenzo e Sofia