Podcasts about Blitzen

What twelve songs would sustain you if you were stranded on a desert island for the rest of your life? Matt Sidhom finally reveals his carefully curated Desert Island Mix—a musical journey that offers surprising insights into his life, memories, and what matters most.The mix opens with deeply personal selections: his wedding dance song Dave Matthews' "So Damn Lucky" and George Strait's touching "Love Without End" representing Matt's love for his children. From there, the musical landscape expands dramatically to include Bruce Springsteen's inspiring live rendition of "Growing Up," Billy Joel's cinematic "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant," and Kool Moe Dee's lyrically brilliant "I Go to Work."Each song serves a specific purpose for island survival: Badly Drawn Boy's subtle Christmas track "Donna and Blitzen" to mark the passage of time, Weezer's defiant "Pork and Beans" as a soundtrack for learning survival skills, and Emerson, Lake & Palmer's experimental "Carnival 9" for when isolation hallucinations might set in. The philosophical questions posed in The Killers' "Human" ("Are we human or are we dancer?") take on new meaning in extended solitude.What makes this episode fascinating isn't just the diverse musical selections spanning rock, country, rap, and prog—it's the window these choices open into Matt's values, memories, and what brings comfort in isolation. The perfectly chosen closing track, The Rolling Stones' "Waiting on a Friend," captures the ultimate desert island emotion.As you listen, you'll inevitably wonder: what songs would make your own Desert Island Mix? What music would you choose to represent your life if everything else was stripped away? Visit superawesomemix.com to explore our curated playlists and create your own musical time capsule for life's most important moments.You can listen to the mix on Spotify here:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0um2qIBcUrg5EVrnvuCvbt?si=de3168ca291f4ef4You can listen to the mix on YouTube here:https://music.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpQYsbkgm3L7AObF8lHhYAarE3FOhI9g2&feature=share1. So Damn Lucky - Dave Matthews2. Love Without End - George Strait3. Growin' Up - Bruce Springsteen4. Scenes from an Italian Restaurant - Billy Joel5. I Go To Work - Kool Moe Dee6. Donna and Blitzen - Badly Drawn Boy7. Pork and Beans - Weezer8. Karn Evil 9 - 2nd Impression - Emerson, Lake and Palmer9. Under Pressure - Queen and David Bowie10. Thank the Lord for the Night Time - Neil Diamond11. Human - The Killers12. Waiting on a Friend - The Rolling Stones Support the showVisit us at https://www.superawesomemix.com to learn more about our app, our merchandise, our cards, and more!

Es ist kein Geheimnis. Mit modernen Radarfallen erzielen Kommunen wichtige Einnahmen.

When children grieve, the adults around them are often grieving, too—but how do we help them process loss when we're struggling ourselves? In this powerful conversation, author Lindsay Bonilla shares the deeply personal story behind her children's book “The Hole,” written to help young readers understand and express grief. With host Gabe Howard, together they explore the challenges of discussing death with kids, why grief shouldn't be “filled in” and forgotten, and how storytelling can create space for healing. Whether you're a parent, caregiver, or someone who has experienced loss, this episode offers heartfelt insights into navigating grief—both for children and yourself. Listen now for a moving discussion on love, loss, and the importance of remembering. “A lot of children have experienced a lot of loss. So, letting kids lead and tell you what they need. Giving them tools, like children's books that address grief. Or if they see something. I mean, gee, there's a lot of, lot of movies. I mean, my son's obsessed with Star Wars. There's a lot of loss in that. And sometimes just taking the time to have the conversation at the level that they're comfortable with and letting them kind of lead the conversation. Rather than just acting like, well, they're fine. You know? [Laughter]” ~Lindsay Bonilla Our guest, Lindsay Bonilla (LindsayBonilla.com), is a professional storyteller and author whose previous picture books include The Storyteller, the Parents' Choice Award winner Polar Bear Island, I Love You with All of My Hearts, and The Note Who Faced the Music. She lives with her husband, two wild and creative kids, and her dog, Blitzen, in North Canton, Ohio. Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. Gabe is also the host of the "Inside Bipolar" podcast with Dr. Nicole Washington. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. He lives with his supportive wife, Kendall, and a Miniature Schnauzer dog that he never wanted, but now can't imagine life without. To book Gabe for your next event or learn more about him, please visit gabehoward.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Auf Grund der aktuellen Situation an den Börsen heute eine vorgezogene Folge. Viel Spaß beim Hören, Dein Matthias Krapp (Transkript dieser Folge weiter unten)   NEU!!! Hier kannst Du Dich kostenlos für meinen Minikurs registrieren und reinschauen. Es lohnt sich: https://portal.abatus-beratung.com/geldanlage-kurs/    

Die Maus zum Hören - Lach- und Sachgeschichten. Heute: mit Feuer und seinem Gewicht, Musik mit Abwaschwasser, Blitzen und Blitzableitern, mit Marie natürlich mit der Maus und dem Elefanten. Erzähl mal (01:14) Frage des Tages: Wiegt Feuer was? (02:56) im Sturm (09:35) Windrad (12:06) Luftpiraten - Alles wird gut (19:21) Wassergeplätscher (32:20) Maus-Musikküche: Abwaschwasser (33:43) Gewittertierchen (42:37) Fernohr: Regenwald (48:56) Blitzableiter (50:54) Von Marie Güttge.

Kurt Becker's Stroll Through Racing History presented by Keeneland - Kurt looks back at the racing career of Blitzen

The Sidebars take a well-deserved break, and we get a special treat to celebrate the Wetmas season!DM Julz is joined by some amazing guests, as they make their way through a Wetmas story like no other...Featuring:Allan Henry as Puddle (the forest gnome storm sorcerer)Penny Dee as Blitzen (the reindeer centaur cleric)Josh as Jackie Sleet (the water genasi monk)and Julz Burgisser as DMVisit www.fateofisen.com to learn more.Fate of Isen is one of the Feedspot top D&D podcasts in the world! Check out Feedspot here.If you like the show, please feel free to follow us on social media (@fateofisen) or support us on Patreon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ Intro, outro, and recap music by freesound user, Tyops, and ambient sound by TabletopAudio.com

Where can two strippers get a bite to eat on Christmas Eve? By  MelissaBaby. (abridged) Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. “Fuck Christmas,” Clover shouted, “and fuck you, Tony. Fuck Santa Claus, fuck his elves and fuck all ten goddamn reindeers.” “Eight,” Roxanne said, filing her nails and looking at her over the top of her glasses. “Shut up, Roxy, I'm talking about reindeers, not how many cocks you sucked over the weekend.” “Clover, calm down,” Tony said, “It was worth taking a shot.” “Bullshit, I told you nobody goes to a strip club on Christmas Eve.”“She did tell you,” Roxanne said, “Even louder that she's telling you now.” “Look,” he said, shrugging, “I'm sorry, but it wasn't nobody…” “We've had five customers,” Clover said. “And the last one was two hours ago,” Roxanne chimed in, “It's almost ten thirty.” Clover jerked her thumb at Roxanne. “She might look like a doofus wearing that stupid Santa hat, but she's right.” Tony held up his hands, “Okay, it turned out to not be a great idea. You guys are always saying that more customers come in because they are lonely than because they are horny. I figured it would be a lonely night for a lot of guys…” “It might be a great night to be a hooker,” Clover said, “but not a dancer.” He looked at his watch, then over his shoulder at LeAnn, the bartender. “Tell you what,” he told her, “If nobody else comes in before eleven, go ahead and close up.” He started to walk away, but Roxanne called him back. “We paid our club fees, Tony, that isn't right.” He looked up toward the ceiling, as if he were looking for a script to read from. “You want to close and go home early, but you want your club fees refunded because I said we would close and you could go home early?” “No,” Clover said, “We want our club fees refunded because we paid you fifty dollars to dance on a night when you dragged us in here to dance, even though we told you nobody was coming the fuck in.” “Fine,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, “LeAnn, give them back their club fees.” The door opened, and they both groaned, but it was not a customer. Sporty, the Gold Dollar's bouncer, came in. “Speaking of guys you'll fuck,” Clover muttered. When he approached the bar, she said, “Hey Sporty, how come you go out with Roxy? I always heard black guys like girls with nice big asses.” “I always heard strippers were friendly,” he shot back. He sat down next to Roxanne. “Where have you been?” she asked him. “Yeah,” Clover said, “There could have been a brawl in here, between the rats and the cockroaches.” “I was sitting out in my car, listening to some jams.” Clover tipped out and gave LeAnn a big hug, then she and Roxanne walked out to their cars in a light cold rain. “You ain't waiting for Sporty?” Clover asked. “Nope, don't want to talk to him right now. Meet you at the diner.” They each got in their cars. A light coating of slush covered Roxanne's windshield, but the wipers easily pushed it to the side. She pulled out of the parking lot on to the slippery street and drove the mile and a half to their usual after work spot, the Finest Kind Diner, while Clover followed close behind. When she turned into the diner's parking lot she noticed immediately that the lights were turned off, except for a string of colored Christmas bulbs blinking around the front door. Clover thought for a minute. “We could go to Denny's.” “Are they open?” “How the fuck would I know? Call ‘em up.” “Oh, so I have to look up the number?” “I figured it has a man's name, so you would know it.” Roxanne sat back in her seat. “I don't want to drive all the way across town, just to go to Denny's. What else would be open?” “Just White Castle.” Roxanne thought for a minute. “Yeah, what the fuck, let's go to White Castle.” “We ought to just go in one car,” Clover suggested. “Fine. Yours or mine?” “Yours,” Clover said, “Mine is more full of trash than a westside trailer park.” She pulled her car into a parking space, shut it off and got out. “I hate this drizzly shit,” she said as she got into Roxanne's passenger seat. “Hey, don't you live in a westside trailer park?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that's why I know what I am talking about.” “Speaking of knowing what you're talking about,” Roxanne said, “Santa Claus has eight reindeer.” “Are you counting Rudolph?” “Nope. Rudolph doesn't count.” “Who decided that?” “Clement Moore.” “Who the fuck is he? Sounds like a baseball player.” “He wrote The Night Before Christmas.” “Twas the night before Christmas,” Clover recited in a sing song voice, “And all through the place, Roxanne was sitting on every guy's face.” “And up from the lawn there arose such a clatter,” Roxanne returned, “As Clover devoured the whole turkey platter.” Clover nodded her head. “That was pretty good,” she admitted. Roxanne was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You wonder though, who the fuck would name a reindeer Blitzen? What is he, a Nazi reindeer?” “I bet Rudolph was originally Adolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and they changed it during the war or something. Hey, what's going on with you and Sporty?” “He wants me to go to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.” “And you don't want to go?” “Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend from the strip club?” “Oh yeah, I get it. But still, you guys been going out for a while now. You are going to meet them sooner or later.” “It doesn't have to be on Christmas with all the relatives there.” “So what are you going to do?” “I don't know.” There were three cars parked outside the White Castle when they arrived. The restaurant's windows were so wet with condensation that they could not see through them. But when they dashed inside, they were nearly blinded by the garish light. “This is like sensory overload,” Roxanne said, as Jingle Bell Rock squalled from a tinny sound system. They walked over to the counter. There was no one behind it. Roxanne leaned forward, craning her neck to look back into the kitchen. She saw a young man in a white uniform and a hairnet dumping french fries out of a fryer basket. “Excuse us,” she called. He looked over his shoulder. “Be with you in a minute, ma'am,” he said. Clover cackled and nudged Roxanne with her elbow. “Ma'am. He thinks you're an old fucking lady.” “Yeah, and he thinks I'm taking my mom out for Christmas Eve.” The man came to the counter. His name badge identified him as Julio, assistant manager. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked. “I'd like four hamburgers, an order of medium fries and a large coffee, regular,” Roxanne said. “Give me six whiteys and a large Mountain Dew,” Clover added. “Would you like fries with that?” “Fuck no, I'm gonna eat most of hers.” Julio rang up their orders and Roxanne paid for both. Clover looked around the room. There were three occupied booths. In one a pair of middle aged men, wearing the uniforms of parking attendants, sat sipping coffee. At another, an older woman in a ragged green coat had only a cup of water and a single empty burger box on the table in front of her. A couple of booths down, three young, black clad goths were sitting together. They looked to be in their early twenties; two boys, one very large, the other thin and jittery, and a purple haired girl sitting across from them, loudly chewing gum. They all looked like they were coming down off a much better time than they were having now. “It's kind of a sad looking bunch of people in here,” Clover said. “Yeah,” Roxanne said, “It's Christmas Eve and they've got no place to go.” “That sounds familiar. I mean, what the fuck is the difference between them and us?” “We've got money in our pockets.” “Yeah, money we took from other lonely people,” Clover said. She looked lost in thought for a moment, then asked Roxanne, “How much money you think you've got in your pocket?” “I don't know, a hundred, maybe a hundred and twenty dollars.” Clover looked around the room, her lips tight and her brow knotted. “I'll bet I know what you're thinking,” Roxanne said. “It's fucking Christmas,” Clover said, shrugging. Roxanne called Julio back to the counter. “How much are those sacks of thirty sliders?” she asked him. “Thirty two dollars and fifty two cents.” She looked over her shoulder at the woman with her single burger. “Give me two sacks,” she said, fishing her cash out of her pocket. “You still want the other order?” “Yeah,” Clover said, “And I want you to give anybody whatever they want to drink. Keep a tab and I'll pay for them later.” Julio hesitated a moment, then said, “Okay, it will take a little bit of time. Your other order will be up in a minute.” When their food was ready, they went to the empty table between the old lady and the goths. As they walked past the parking attendants, Clover asked them, “How you guys doing? You had to work tonight?” “Fuckin' Nutcracker,” one of them grumbled. “So are you going to see your son tomorrow?” Roxanne asked Clover when they had taken their seats. Clover nodded. “Not till the afternoon. But I get to have him the next day, too.” “Have you got plans?” “I was thinking we'd go to Hong Kong Garden for dinner.” “And the next day?” “Are you kidding? The day after Christmas? We're going fucking shopping.” Roxanne laughed. “Yeah I'm sure that'll thrill a ten year old boy, going shopping with his mom.” They had each finished two burgers when Julio called to them that their order was ready. Clover walked over to the counter, picked up a bag of hamburgers in each hand and turned to face the dining area. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she hollered, “My friend Poindexter and I would like to treat everyone to Whiteys for Christmas.” She went from table to table, holding out the bags, so that each person could take some burgers. “And if anyone wants something to drink,” she said, “It's on us. Just step up and tell Julio what you want.” After going to each table, she had half a bag left. She put it on the table in front of Roxanne and sat down. Roxanne twisted in her seat and watched as several of the patrons went to the counter and ordered drinks. She noticed that the old woman in the next booth had neither gotten up nor taken any burgers. She took one from the bag, leaned over the back of the booth and asked, “Would you like another burger, ma'am?” “Are you sure it's okay?” “Of course it is,” Roxanne said, “Merry Christmas.” “Merry Christmas, dear,” the woman replied, taking the burger. Roxanne's phone buzzed. “I bet I know who that is,” Clover muttered. Roxanne looked at the screen. “Yeah, it's Sporty.” She sat back in the booth and answered, simply saying, “Hey.” “Listen baby,” he said, “I wish you hadn't split like that. I don't want you mad at me, whether you go tomorrow or not.” “I never said I was mad at you, Sporty. I'm just tired of all the back-and-forth on this shit.” “I don't think having Christmas with my family is shit.” “Now you're just looking to be offended. They know where you work, right?” “Yeah.” “So, you're going to tell them your bringing a girl from work to Christmas dinner, so I can sit there, eating turkey with everybody looking at me like I'm a whore.” “Ain't nobody gonna call you a whore.” “My own mom calls me a whore.” “Well, my mom ain't your mom.” “I don't know, Sporty. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this.” “We've been going out almost a year.” “Off and on.” “Whatever. Where are you at anyway? I come over to Finest Kind because I thought you guys would be here.” “They're closed.” “Well, no shit, I just told you I was over here.” “We're at the White Castle on Union Street.” “So, would it be cool if I come by?” “Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a bit.” Roxanne disconnected, shaking her head. “This fucking guy,” she muttered, “I'm telling you, he won't give up…” “And that's a bad thing? Let me ask you something,” Clover said, “and don't get pissed.” “Okay.” “Are you nervous about meeting his family because you think they won't like you being a stripper or because you don't think they'll like you being white?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “Maybe both,” she said. “Either way, I think that's his problem, not yours. I mean it's his family.” “Yeah, but I'm afraid that if they give him a lot of shit about it, he isn't going to pick me over them.” “Well then, fuck him. He ain't worth it if he does that.” Roxanne shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” An old man with flyaway white hair came into the restaurant. He appeared to be wearing just a light sweatsuit under his ratty coat. He sat down next to the old woman. She spoke quietly to him for a minute, then he loudly cleared his throat. “Excuse me, ladies,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Flo says you are buying burgers for everyone. Is that so?” “Sure is,” Clover said. Roxanne took two more burgers from the bag and handed them to him. “Go get yourself a coffee or something,” Clover said, “Whatever you want, it's on us.” The man thanked them, stood and fetched coffee for himself and Flo. Sporty came in a few minutes later, took off his wet coat and hung it on the end of the booth. He slid in next to Roxanne. Looking at the bags on the table, he asked, “Why did y'all buy so many burgers?” “Because we're generous bitches and we share with everybody,” Clover said. “Well, shit then.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a couple of burgers. After a few bites he said, “I need to get a drink.” “Just go to the counter,” Roxanne told him, “We're running a tab.” Sporty stuffed the rest of the burger in his mouth, then went to the counter. He came back a minute later with a large orange soda. “You been thinking about tomorrow?” he asked Roxanne. “Yeah, I've been thinking about it…” “Hey Sporty,” Clover said, interrupting her, “Let me ask you something.” “Yeah, what?” He reached for another burger. “Why do so many black families have macaroni and cheese for Christmas dinner?” “Because it's good as hell. We still have all the regular shit, turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberries and all that.” “Pumpkin pie or sweet potato?” “What do you think? Sweet potato pie.” “What kind of stuffing?” “Cornbread.” “Just plain?” “Fuck no, my mom puts Jimmy Dean sausage in it.” “Damn!” Clover exclaimed. “Listen, if this silly bitch don't want to come to your mom's house for Christmas dinner can I come?” “You can both come as far as I'm concerned.” Roxanne laughed. “That's actually a pretty good plan. If your mom spends five minutes with Clover, she'll think I'm little miss sunshine.” “No, she'll think you're a dumb bitch who thinks Santa only has eight reindeer.” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “Damn, you back on that shit?” Sporty said, rolling his eyes. Clover slipped out of the booth. “Fuck you both,” she said, standing up. “Hey everybody,” she shouted, “I'm taking a Christmas survey. How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” There was murmuring throughout the room. The big goth kid was counting on his fingers. One of the parking attendants was quietly singing Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. His friend said, emphatically, “Eight.” The goth girl said “Nine, if you count Rudolph.” “Rudolph wasn't one of the originals,” he replied. “So where did he come from?” “Gene Autry.” “Dead white man,” she muttered. The man who had been singing said, “The Night Before Christmas guy gave them their names.” The skinny goth kid glared over the back of the booth at him. “But who said he was in charge of fucking reindeer?” “He wrote the goddamn poem!” “They didn't know about Rudolph then!” “Isn't it nice to see how the holidays bring people together,” Roxanne said to Sporty. “All right,” Clover said, clapping her hands together. “Let's put it to a vote. How many people say nine?” She raised her hand and the goth kids and the old lady joined her. “Who says eight?” Roxanne, Sporty, the parking guys and the old man raised their hands. Clover looked at Sporty. “Put your fucking hand down, man, your vote don't count.” “Why don't my vote count?” “Because you ain't hoping to get any pussy from me tonight.” “You got that right,” he smirked. Roxanne turned in her seat. “How many people say ten?” They all looked at her, perplexed. No one raised a hand. “That's your cue to sit down and shut the fuck up,” she said to Clover. Clover looked around with a frown, then sat without saying anything more. Sporty looked over his shoulder and said, “Who thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie?” Everyone raised their hand. “Goddamn right,” he muttered. Roxanne nudged him with her elbow. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. He stood up and let her go by. The parking lot guys were getting up to leave. They thanked her for the burgers as she went past their table and wished her a happy holiday. One gave her a big hug. At least he didn't try to cop a feel, she thought as she went into the women's bathroom. When she opened the door to come out a few minutes later, Sporty was standing in front of it. “You know how cute you look in that hat?” he asked. “Do you know how desperate you sound when you try to sweet talk me?” “Nah, I ain't desperate. It'd be alright if you don't want to go tomorrow. I get it. But don't go saying you weren't welcome to go, because you were asked.” “Okay, that's fair. It's just that it's a big step.” “You got to take steps if you want to get anywhere,” he said. She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. Looking past him, she did not see anyone watching them. She gripped the waist of his pants and walked backward, pulling him into the bathroom. Sporty pushed the door shut behind him, and let Roxanne tug him across the room until her hips bumped against the edge of the sink. Roxanne leaned back, looking up at him and biting her lip. He gazed down at her, his hands on her hips, and kissed her. She kissed him back, but then turned her head. “At some point,” she said, “we have to talk about where we are going.” “We do,” he replied, “but we ain't got to do it right now.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and they exchanged a long, hard, tongue swirling kiss. Sporty's hands moved to her breasts, squeezing and caressing them, while Roxanne dropped her hand down to rub his stiff cock through his jeans. “I think you've got something you want to give me for Christmas,” she whispered. “I don't know,” he said, “I don't think you've been a very good girl.” “Do you want me to be a good girl?” “Aw, hell no,” he said. He took a half step back, seized her waist and spun her around to face the sink. Her Santa hat fell off, landing in the basin. He ran one hand down between her legs and cradled her chin in the other. “Look at you,” he whispered in her ear. Her glasses had slipped down her nose. She pushed them back into their proper position and gazed at herself in the mirror. “Look and see what I see.” Roxanne looked at his eyes in the mirror as his hand rubbed and squeezed her pussy. “Don't look at me, look at you.” She stared at her own reflection, resisting the temptation to watch as he unfastened her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. But when his fingers slipped inside her, she leaned her head back and kissed the side of his neck. His fingers probed deep into her, his thumb played with her clitoris. She reached back and rubbed his crotch. She fumbled at his belt until he gently pushed her hand away and undid it himself. Roxanne felt his cock bump against her ass, then slip down between her thighs. He placed his hand between her shoulders and gently pushed her down until her elbows were on the sides of the sink. She picked up her Santa hat and put it back on her head. Sporty kneaded her ass, then spread her thighs, pressed the head of his cock into her pussy and began to fuck her with long, smooth strokes. Clover snickered when she saw Sporty disappear into the women's bathroom. Get your figgy pudding, girlfriend, she thought, don't go until you get some. She walked to the counter and got a refill on her Mountain Dew, then stopped and listened for a minute. The sound wasn't loud, but she could hear them in the bathroom. They were definitely fucking in there. As she walked back to the booth, she saw the goth girl looking toward the bathroom. She glanced up at Clover with a smirk. Clover winked at her and sat back down in the booth. A few minutes later, the skinny goth kid leaned close to the window and peered out. He wiped away the condensation with his sleeve and looked again. “Fucking cops,” he muttered. “What cops?” Clover asked. “Cop car just pulled up.” “Oh, shit,” Clover muttered. She looked toward the bathroom. She couldn't hear Roxanne and Sporty where she was sitting, but there was no doubt that when the cops walked in, they would. They had to walk right past the bathroom to get to the counter. One of them might even go into the mens' room. She thought about warning them somehow, but didn't think there was enough time. That was confirmed when she saw the cops approaching the door. She had to do something. Just as they reached the door, she began singing at the top of her lungs. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. The goth girl looked up at her and immediately realized what she was doing and joined in. Santa Claus is coming to town. The cops walked in. One was an older man. His eyes and shoulders both drooped. There's another guy doesn't want to be working on Christmas Eve, Clover thought. His partner was a young, thin black man. They walked right past the bathroom to the counter. He's making a list, He's checking it twice. The other goth kids joined in the singing. He's gonna a find out who's naughty and nice. The old couple began to sing along. Santa Claus is coming to town. The two cops stood by the counter, looking around the room. Julio approached the cash register. The older cop leaned in and spoke to him. Julio pointed to Clover and the cop looked over at her. He nodded, then spoke to Julio again. He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake Julio handed each of the cops a bag of burgers and a cup of coffee. Now get the fuck out of here, Clover thought, but instead of leaving they walked toward her. The older cop held out his hand. “Awfully nice thing for you to do, ma'am,” he said. The other customers kept singing. Clover shook his hand. The younger cop shook with her as well. They turned toward the door, tipping their hats to the older couple as they went by. The older cop walked out just as the customers were finishing the last chorus, but the younger cop turned and went to the counter. He held out his open bag toward Julio. “Could you toss a couple of ketchups in there?” he asked. Julio nodded and dropped a handful of packets in his bag. “Thank you, Merry Christmas.” he said, then waved to the customers. “Merry Christmas, everyone.” He took two steps toward the door and stopped and looked toward the bathroom. Clover could hear Roxanne moaning from where she was sitting. He looked around the room. “Does anyone know who is in there?” he asked. “Yes, officer,” Clover said, “That's my friend. I'm afraid she ate a few too many of these gut grenades. You know what they can do to your digestion.” “Yeah, we all been there once or twice, I suppose,” he said. He went to the door and started to open it, then stopped, obviously listening to the sounds emanating from the bathroom. He turned and looked Clover in the eyes. An amused expression crossed his face. He winked at her and walked out. Roxanne had already come twice when she heard the singing. She thought it was just in her head until Sporty paused between thrusts and muttered, “What the fuck is that?” “Jesus, don't fucking stop,” she groaned. “Oh, you need some more of this dick?” “Goddamn it, yes, Sporty, fuck me.” He gripped her hips and began slapping his loins against her ass harder. She braced her hands against the mirror and shoved back against each plunge of his cock. “You getting kind of loud,” he told her. She dropped her head and her Santa hat fell off. She grabbed it and bit down on the white felt ball to keep from crying out. But after a minute or two, she let go of it, unable to keep from moaning loudly each time he jammed his cock deep inside her. She looked up at him in the mirror. Their eyes met, and the look of passion on his face pushed her over the edge into another orgasm. Before it subsided, she felt him stiffen, jerk his cock a few more times and withdraw, as his hot cum ran down the inside of her thigh. “At least they stopped that fucking singing,” Sporty said as Roxanne cleaned herself up. He picked up her Santa hat from the floor, brushed it off and stuck it back on her head, then unlatched the door. “Hold on a minute, babe,” Roxanne said. She raised her face and kissed him. “I'd be happy to go to your mom's tomorrow.” “Damn,” he said with a wide grin, “All I had to do was fuck you real good?” “You always fuck me real good.” “Then I will always get my way, right?” “Don't push your luck,” she said, opening the door. As they came out of the bathroom, the goth kids were walking toward the exit. “Merry Christmas. And thanks,” the girl said. “Yeah, thanks,” skinny kid said as well. The big kid stopped, looked at Roxanne and held his fist out toward Sporty. “Yo,” he said, “You da dawg, bro.” Sporty bumped fists with him. “Fucking white kids,” he muttered, chuckling. They slipped back into the booth, where Clover was waiting for them with her arms crossed and a smug expression on her face. “What was that singing?” Sporty asked. “That was me saving the you two fuckpuppies from spending Christmas in the slammer.” “What are you talking about?” Roxanne asked. “A couple cops came in here while you were getting your stocking stuffed. We were singing so they wouldn't hear the noise you were making.” “We weren't making that much noise.” Sporty laughed. “Girl, you loud as hell.” The old couple came to their booth and thanked them for their burgers. “Merry Christmas,” the man said, shaking all their hands. “There is a special place in heaven for you ladies,” the woman said. As they walked away, Clover said, “You think there is a special place in heaven for us?” “If we died tonight, we might at least be able to make a case for it,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “And by next week, we are fucked again.” Julio came out of the kitchen with a damp rag and wiped the table where the parking guys had been sitting. “Hey, Julio didn't vote,” Clover said. She called to him. “Julio, how many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” Julio looked at her with a perplexed expression. “I don't know,” he said. “You know, like in the song. Dancer and Prancer and Donger and Blitzkin…” “Donger?” Roxanne asked. Julio shrugged. “I don't know that song.” “You don't know it? What the fuck country are you from?” He stared as her and said, “Colombia.” “Oh. Shit. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude.” “She doesn't have to try,” Roxanne said, “It's her default mode.” Julio shook his head and returned to the kitchen. “Give the brother a break,” Sporty said, “He's from South America. What the fuck he gonna know about reindeers? Ask him about llamas, he'll probably tell you everything you ever wanted to know.” “I can't think of anything I want to know about llamas,” Clover shot back. “But I do feel kind of bad for the guy. I mean, he'd have had a lot easier night if we hadn't come in here and bought burgers and shit for everybody.” “It's his job,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “Yeah, and we fucking threw a fit because we had to work on Christmas Eve.” “You threw a fit. I didn't.” “You didn't like it.” “No, but I acted like a fucking grown-up about it.” “Yeah, but you have to act like one because you don't look like one.” Sporty looked in the bag. “Anybody want this last burger?” he asked. Roxanne and Clover shook their heads. Sporty bit into the burger, swallowed and said, “You feel so bad for the guy, why don't you do something nice for him for Christmas?” “Like what?” Clover asked. “Like what the fuck you think?” Sporty asked. Clover looked at him for a minute, then tipped her head to look past him. Julio was wiping off the service counter. “He's not a bad looking guy,” Roxanne said. “Well then, why don't you go do it then?” Clover asked. “I wasn't a twat to him.” “Besides,” Sporty said with a grin, “she already got hers.” “I ain't gonna fuck him in the bathroom,” Clover said. Roxanne laughed. “The bathroom is clean, at least.” “You don't think I will do it, do you?” “Bitch, I stopped trying to figure out what you would or wouldn't do about the time you set my boyfriend's car on fire,” Roxanne said. Julio disappeared into the kitchen. “Fuck both of you,” Clover said. She got up and followed him. “Hey, Julio,” she called. He was standing at the dish sink and turned around at the sound of her voice. “Listen, dude,” she said, “I hope I didn't say anything that offended you or got you upset or what not. That's just me clowning around.” “It is fine. I understand.” “Well, I think we put a lot of extra work on you tonight, coming in here and disrupting and shouting and singing and all.” “No, it is fine, Missus.” “Well, it's Christmas and all that. I'd like to maybe give you a little something for your trouble…” Julio waved his hands. “No Missus, we are not allowed to except tips.” “Yeah, I wasn't talking about giving you money.” She looked around and saw an open door at the back of the kitchen. She walked to it and peered into a dark room. “What's in here?” she asked. “That's the manager's office.” Clover walked in and flipped the light switch. A large flat top desk against the far wall nearly filled the room. There was a faux leather swivel chair in front of it. Clover plopped down into it, spun around, and put her feet up on the desk. Julio stood in the doorway, looking nervous. “The manager does not like anyone sitting in his chair,” he said, “No one is allowed.” “But you're the assistant manager right?” “Si.” “So when he ain't here, you're the fucking manager and it's your chair.” “I do not think so…” “And I am your guest, so I can sit in your chair.” “Missus,” he said, “I know it's a foolish rule but I need this job.” “Do you think I'm gonna tell anybody about this?” Julio looked at her with a puzzled expression. “About what, Missus?” “First of all, stop calling me Missus. Then come over here and find out.” She sat up, put her feet on the floor and patted the top of the desk. Julio leaned back and looked around the kitchen as if he suspected someone might be lurking there. Clover patted the desktop again. “The boss told you not to sit in his chair, but he didn't say shit about sitting on his desk, did he?” “No. I suppose he did not.” She pushed the chair back until it banged into the wall. “So have a seat.” Julio bit his lip, seeming lost in thought, then sat on the edge of the desk. “Dude, lose that dumbass apron.” Julio reached behind his back and untied the apron. Before he could pull it over his head, Clover had his belt unbuckled. He watched with an expression of amazement as she deftly unsnapped his waistband, yanked down his zipper, and pulled his cock free. “Do all the men in Columbia have big dicks?” she asked as she wrapped her hand around it. “Si,” Julio said, “It is well known in Latin America, Missus.” “You call me Missus again and I might bite it off,” she said. She flicked her tongue at the head, then wrapped her lips around it and began to suck. Julio briefly lifted his hips from the desk and tugged his pants and shorts down to his thighs. Clover cupped his balls in her left hand, massaging them, while her right hand stroked his shaft. She took it in her mouth again, but almost immediately, she heard a chime ringing. She raised her head and asked Julio, “What the fuck is that?” Julio had a look of panic on his face. “Someone is at the drive-through,” he said, “I must go serve them.” He started to rise, but she put her hands on his hips and pushed him back down. “No, fuck that,” she said, “Stay right there.” She got up and rushed to the dining room. Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth, kissing. “Hey, you fucking lovebirds, I need help here,” she shouted. When they looked at her in surprise, she said, “There's somebody in the fucking drive-through. Either of you guys ever work at a fast food place?” “I worked at Burger King in high school.” Sporty said. “Well, pry Roxy's hand off your whopper and get the fuck in here and find out what they want.” She disappeared back into the kitchen. Roxanne and Sporty looked at each other and shrugged. “I'll give it a try,” Sporty said. He slipped out of the booth and headed toward the kitchen, Roxanne following close behind. “It's like somebody told Santa they wanted a shit show for Christmas,” she muttered. Sporty went to the drive-through window and looked around. “Fuck. I don't know how to use this touchscreen shit,” he said. “Can you at least talk to the guy?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that shit looks the same. Hold on.” He was distracted by the sounds coming from the manager's office. “What's she doing in there?” he asked. “Sounds like she's sucking his dick.” “Damn, she's loud, too. Sounds like somebody got a rag stuck in their wet-vac.” He pressed several buttons on the communications panel, but nothing happened. He fiddled with the volume knob, and clicked the headset on and off, all to no avail. Suddenly, he was startled by a blasting horn, and looked over to see a white pick up truck right outside the window The driver, a large, red faced, bearded man, was glaring at him. “Honey, I don't think that's Santa Claus,” Roxanne said. Sporty slid the window open. “I've been out here trying to order for ten fucking minutes,” the man shouted. “Yeah, sorry about that,” Sporty said. “We got some kind of computer problem.” The man looked past him at Roxanne. “Looks to me like the problem is you're having some kind of party in there.” “Naw, she's the manager. She come in to try to fix it.” “So why isn't she fixing it?” “Sir,” Roxanne said, “I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do about it until the tech guys get here.” “I worked to midnight on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was some burgers for when I get home.” “I'll see what I can get for you, no charge.” She went to the grill. There were onions simmering in the corner and pre-cooked patties in a warming pan. She found a package of buns and put a half dozen on the grill to brown. The man tapped his fingers impatiently on the door of his car. “This is some bullshit,” he barked at Sporty, “You got something for me or not?” “Roxy is fixing it up right now.” “The manager's name is Roxy?” “Yeah, she was named for her grandmom.” Roxanne's glasses kept steaming up from the grill's heat. She did her best to assemble the burgers, but one got no onions, one had triple pickle and some were drenched with mustard and ketchup while others got no more than a drop or two. She boxed the burgers, stacked them in a bag, and handed it to Sporty. “About time,” the man grumbled. “What about a Coke? I need something to drink.” “Coming right up!” Roxanne said with a big smile. As she poured a Coke from the dispenser she thought, I hope those burgers give you the shits, asshole. Sporty handed him the drink and cheerily said, “Merry Christmas, sir.” The man growled. “Yeah, right. I guess the two of you can get back to whatever you were doing now.” “Thank you, sir,” Sporty said, “But we already finished that. Appreciate the thought though.” The man glared at them, muttered something underneath his breath, and drove off. “What did he say?” Roxanne asked. “I didn't catch in, but I think one of the words started with an F and one with an N.” “Feliz Navidad?” “Most likely not.” “Should we figure out how this works, in case someone else pulls up?” “How long Julio gonna take getting his nut?” Roxanne shrugged. “Hold up,” Sporty said, “I got a better idea.” He walked to the back door, opened it and, looking outside, flicked a couple of light switches on the walk. “There you go,” he said. “What did you do?” “Turned off the outside lights, so the place looks closed.” Clover took Julio's cock into her mouth until she felt his pubic hair tickling her nose, then swallowed. That will keep him from trying to go see what's happening in the kitchen, she thought. When she was out of breath, she rose up, releasing his cock with a loud popping sound. She circled the head with her tongue a few times, then dove down and swallowed again. It was late, she was tired, her jaw was starting to ache and her belly was rumbling in complaint over its load of greasy hamburger. She sucked in her cheeks as hard as she could, and Julio exhaled loudly and raised his hips from the desk. As she lifted her head, Julio spurted into her mouth. She swallowed most of it, then picked up his apron off the desk and wiped her face with it, surreptitiously spitting out the rest of his load. He leaned forward, his head hanging low, while he recovered his breath. Clover stood up, and loudly burped. “Sorry about that,” she said. Julio stood, pulling up his pants. “It is okay, Missus.” They walked into the kitchen. Julio immediately noticed that it was dark outside the drive through window. “You friends, I think they turned off the lights,” he said, “I will have to turn them on and to see what else they might have done.” “Okay, well, Merry Christmas, dude.” “And to you, Missus.” Clover turned away, but he added, “Missus?” She looked back. “Maybe you will come for hamburgers again.” Clover looked him over. “Yeah, I might.” Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth when Clover returned to the dining room. Roxanne was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder and her eyes shut. Clover sat down across from them. “You guys about ready to go?” she asked. Roxanne sat up straight and stretched. “Yeah we might as well,” she said. Sporty looked out the window. “That sleet shit turned into real snow,” he said. He nudged Roxanne. “Let me up, baby.” She stood and he slid out of the booth. “Give me your keys,” he said, “I'll get your car warmed up.” She fished her keys out of her purse and handed them to him as he put on his coat. Watching him walk out, Clover said, “When a man cleans the snow off your car for you, he's getting serious. Especially if he does it after you fuck him.” “I think asking me to come with him to his mom's house for Christmas shows that pretty good, too.” “So, stop being a fucking pussy about it. You think you're going to find another nice guy who is obviously crazy about you and doesn't give a shit what you do for a living?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “It doesn't seem likely, does it?” she said at last. They kissed again and Sporty said, “You know, I had a lot of girlfriends before, but I never brought one home with me on Christmas.” She patted his cheek, kissed him and said, “I've had a lot of boyfriends before, but I never fucked one in the bathroom at White Castle on Christmas Eve.” She kissed him on the nose and dashed to her car, calling, “See you tomorrow, babe.” “It's about time,” Clover said, as Roxanne got into the drivers seat, “I'm freezing my tits off over here.” “That's because they're fake.” “Probably. They should've come with like a heater option.” “I wish I'd known it was a problem, I would have got you one for Christmas.” Clover reached across the console and squeezed Roxanne's hand. “Merry Christmas, Rhonda,” she said. Roxanne felt her eyes moisten. “Merry Christmas, Charlene.” The last display before the park exit, the grand finale, was a great arc of lights over the road. On the left, Santa rode in his sleigh, overflowing bags of gift boxes and teddy bears behind him. His reindeer stretched along the arc, their legs blinking in a dance across the night sky. At the right end of the display, Rudolph's nose glowed like a beacon. “Nine!” Clover shouted, “Bitch, count ‘em! nine fucking reindeers!” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “He counts in this town.” “Why? Because Parks and Rec says he does?” Clover sat back, her arms crossed over her chest in triumph. “Nine fucking reindeer,” she smirked. “Eight,” Roxanne muttered. “Nine.” “Eight…” By  MelissaBaby for Literotica

Where can two strippers get a bite to eat on Christmas Eve? By  MelissaBaby. (abridged) Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. “Fuck Christmas,” Clover shouted, “and fuck you, Tony. Fuck Santa Claus, fuck his elves and fuck all ten goddamn reindeers.” “Eight,” Roxanne said, filing her nails and looking at her over the top of her glasses. “Shut up, Roxy, I'm talking about reindeers, not how many cocks you sucked over the weekend.” “Clover, calm down,” Tony said, “It was worth taking a shot.” “Bullshit, I told you nobody goes to a strip club on Christmas Eve.”“She did tell you,” Roxanne said, “Even louder that she's telling you now.” “Look,” he said, shrugging, “I'm sorry, but it wasn't nobody…” “We've had five customers,” Clover said. “And the last one was two hours ago,” Roxanne chimed in, “It's almost ten thirty.” Clover jerked her thumb at Roxanne. “She might look like a doofus wearing that stupid Santa hat, but she's right.” Tony held up his hands, “Okay, it turned out to not be a great idea. You guys are always saying that more customers come in because they are lonely than because they are horny. I figured it would be a lonely night for a lot of guys…” “It might be a great night to be a hooker,” Clover said, “but not a dancer.” He looked at his watch, then over his shoulder at LeAnn, the bartender. “Tell you what,” he told her, “If nobody else comes in before eleven, go ahead and close up.” He started to walk away, but Roxanne called him back. “We paid our club fees, Tony, that isn't right.” He looked up toward the ceiling, as if he were looking for a script to read from. “You want to close and go home early, but you want your club fees refunded because I said we would close and you could go home early?” “No,” Clover said, “We want our club fees refunded because we paid you fifty dollars to dance on a night when you dragged us in here to dance, even though we told you nobody was coming the fuck in.” “Fine,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, “LeAnn, give them back their club fees.” The door opened, and they both groaned, but it was not a customer. Sporty, the Gold Dollar's bouncer, came in. “Speaking of guys you'll fuck,” Clover muttered. When he approached the bar, she said, “Hey Sporty, how come you go out with Roxy? I always heard black guys like girls with nice big asses.” “I always heard strippers were friendly,” he shot back. He sat down next to Roxanne. “Where have you been?” she asked him. “Yeah,” Clover said, “There could have been a brawl in here, between the rats and the cockroaches.” “I was sitting out in my car, listening to some jams.” Clover tipped out and gave LeAnn a big hug, then she and Roxanne walked out to their cars in a light cold rain. “You ain't waiting for Sporty?” Clover asked. “Nope, don't want to talk to him right now. Meet you at the diner.” They each got in their cars. A light coating of slush covered Roxanne's windshield, but the wipers easily pushed it to the side. She pulled out of the parking lot on to the slippery street and drove the mile and a half to their usual after work spot, the Finest Kind Diner, while Clover followed close behind. When she turned into the diner's parking lot she noticed immediately that the lights were turned off, except for a string of colored Christmas bulbs blinking around the front door. Clover thought for a minute. “We could go to Denny's.” “Are they open?” “How the fuck would I know? Call ‘em up.” “Oh, so I have to look up the number?” “I figured it has a man's name, so you would know it.” Roxanne sat back in her seat. “I don't want to drive all the way across town, just to go to Denny's. What else would be open?” “Just White Castle.” Roxanne thought for a minute. “Yeah, what the fuck, let's go to White Castle.” “We ought to just go in one car,” Clover suggested. “Fine. Yours or mine?” “Yours,” Clover said, “Mine is more full of trash than a westside trailer park.” She pulled her car into a parking space, shut it off and got out. “I hate this drizzly shit,” she said as she got into Roxanne's passenger seat. “Hey, don't you live in a westside trailer park?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that's why I know what I am talking about.” “Speaking of knowing what you're talking about,” Roxanne said, “Santa Claus has eight reindeer.” “Are you counting Rudolph?” “Nope. Rudolph doesn't count.” “Who decided that?” “Clement Moore.” “Who the fuck is he? Sounds like a baseball player.” “He wrote The Night Before Christmas.” “Twas the night before Christmas,” Clover recited in a sing song voice, “And all through the place, Roxanne was sitting on every guy's face.” “And up from the lawn there arose such a clatter,” Roxanne returned, “As Clover devoured the whole turkey platter.” Clover nodded her head. “That was pretty good,” she admitted. Roxanne was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You wonder though, who the fuck would name a reindeer Blitzen? What is he, a Nazi reindeer?” “I bet Rudolph was originally Adolf the Red Nosed Reindeer and they changed it during the war or something. Hey, what's going on with you and Sporty?” “He wants me to go to his mom's house for Christmas dinner.” “And you don't want to go?” “Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend from the strip club?” “Oh yeah, I get it. But still, you guys been going out for a while now. You are going to meet them sooner or later.” “It doesn't have to be on Christmas with all the relatives there.” “So what are you going to do?” “I don't know.” There were three cars parked outside the White Castle when they arrived. The restaurant's windows were so wet with condensation that they could not see through them. But when they dashed inside, they were nearly blinded by the garish light. “This is like sensory overload,” Roxanne said, as Jingle Bell Rock squalled from a tinny sound system. They walked over to the counter. There was no one behind it. Roxanne leaned forward, craning her neck to look back into the kitchen. She saw a young man in a white uniform and a hairnet dumping french fries out of a fryer basket. “Excuse us,” she called. He looked over his shoulder. “Be with you in a minute, ma'am,” he said. Clover cackled and nudged Roxanne with her elbow. “Ma'am. He thinks you're an old fucking lady.” “Yeah, and he thinks I'm taking my mom out for Christmas Eve.” The man came to the counter. His name badge identified him as Julio, assistant manager. “What can I get you ladies?” he asked. “I'd like four hamburgers, an order of medium fries and a large coffee, regular,” Roxanne said. “Give me six whiteys and a large Mountain Dew,” Clover added. “Would you like fries with that?” “Fuck no, I'm gonna eat most of hers.” Julio rang up their orders and Roxanne paid for both. Clover looked around the room. There were three occupied booths. In one a pair of middle aged men, wearing the uniforms of parking attendants, sat sipping coffee. At another, an older woman in a ragged green coat had only a cup of water and a single empty burger box on the table in front of her. A couple of booths down, three young, black clad goths were sitting together. They looked to be in their early twenties; two boys, one very large, the other thin and jittery, and a purple haired girl sitting across from them, loudly chewing gum. They all looked like they were coming down off a much better time than they were having now. “It's kind of a sad looking bunch of people in here,” Clover said. “Yeah,” Roxanne said, “It's Christmas Eve and they've got no place to go.” “That sounds familiar. I mean, what the fuck is the difference between them and us?” “We've got money in our pockets.” “Yeah, money we took from other lonely people,” Clover said. She looked lost in thought for a moment, then asked Roxanne, “How much money you think you've got in your pocket?” “I don't know, a hundred, maybe a hundred and twenty dollars.” Clover looked around the room, her lips tight and her brow knotted. “I'll bet I know what you're thinking,” Roxanne said. “It's fucking Christmas,” Clover said, shrugging. Roxanne called Julio back to the counter. “How much are those sacks of thirty sliders?” she asked him. “Thirty two dollars and fifty two cents.” She looked over her shoulder at the woman with her single burger. “Give me two sacks,” she said, fishing her cash out of her pocket. “You still want the other order?” “Yeah,” Clover said, “And I want you to give anybody whatever they want to drink. Keep a tab and I'll pay for them later.” Julio hesitated a moment, then said, “Okay, it will take a little bit of time. Your other order will be up in a minute.” When their food was ready, they went to the empty table between the old lady and the goths. As they walked past the parking attendants, Clover asked them, “How you guys doing? You had to work tonight?” “Fuckin' Nutcracker,” one of them grumbled. “So are you going to see your son tomorrow?” Roxanne asked Clover when they had taken their seats. Clover nodded. “Not till the afternoon. But I get to have him the next day, too.” “Have you got plans?” “I was thinking we'd go to Hong Kong Garden for dinner.” “And the next day?” “Are you kidding? The day after Christmas? We're going fucking shopping.” Roxanne laughed. “Yeah I'm sure that'll thrill a ten year old boy, going shopping with his mom.” They had each finished two burgers when Julio called to them that their order was ready. Clover walked over to the counter, picked up a bag of hamburgers in each hand and turned to face the dining area. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she hollered, “My friend Poindexter and I would like to treat everyone to Whiteys for Christmas.” She went from table to table, holding out the bags, so that each person could take some burgers. “And if anyone wants something to drink,” she said, “It's on us. Just step up and tell Julio what you want.” After going to each table, she had half a bag left. She put it on the table in front of Roxanne and sat down. Roxanne twisted in her seat and watched as several of the patrons went to the counter and ordered drinks. She noticed that the old woman in the next booth had neither gotten up nor taken any burgers. She took one from the bag, leaned over the back of the booth and asked, “Would you like another burger, ma'am?” “Are you sure it's okay?” “Of course it is,” Roxanne said, “Merry Christmas.” “Merry Christmas, dear,” the woman replied, taking the burger. Roxanne's phone buzzed. “I bet I know who that is,” Clover muttered. Roxanne looked at the screen. “Yeah, it's Sporty.” She sat back in the booth and answered, simply saying, “Hey.” “Listen baby,” he said, “I wish you hadn't split like that. I don't want you mad at me, whether you go tomorrow or not.” “I never said I was mad at you, Sporty. I'm just tired of all the back-and-forth on this shit.” “I don't think having Christmas with my family is shit.” “Now you're just looking to be offended. They know where you work, right?” “Yeah.” “So, you're going to tell them your bringing a girl from work to Christmas dinner, so I can sit there, eating turkey with everybody looking at me like I'm a whore.” “Ain't nobody gonna call you a whore.” “My own mom calls me a whore.” “Well, my mom ain't your mom.” “I don't know, Sporty. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this.” “We've been going out almost a year.” “Off and on.” “Whatever. Where are you at anyway? I come over to Finest Kind because I thought you guys would be here.” “They're closed.” “Well, no shit, I just told you I was over here.” “We're at the White Castle on Union Street.” “So, would it be cool if I come by?” “Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a bit.” Roxanne disconnected, shaking her head. “This fucking guy,” she muttered, “I'm telling you, he won't give up…” “And that's a bad thing? Let me ask you something,” Clover said, “and don't get pissed.” “Okay.” “Are you nervous about meeting his family because you think they won't like you being a stripper or because you don't think they'll like you being white?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “Maybe both,” she said. “Either way, I think that's his problem, not yours. I mean it's his family.” “Yeah, but I'm afraid that if they give him a lot of shit about it, he isn't going to pick me over them.” “Well then, fuck him. He ain't worth it if he does that.” Roxanne shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” An old man with flyaway white hair came into the restaurant. He appeared to be wearing just a light sweatsuit under his ratty coat. He sat down next to the old woman. She spoke quietly to him for a minute, then he loudly cleared his throat. “Excuse me, ladies,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Flo says you are buying burgers for everyone. Is that so?” “Sure is,” Clover said. Roxanne took two more burgers from the bag and handed them to him. “Go get yourself a coffee or something,” Clover said, “Whatever you want, it's on us.” The man thanked them, stood and fetched coffee for himself and Flo. Sporty came in a few minutes later, took off his wet coat and hung it on the end of the booth. He slid in next to Roxanne. Looking at the bags on the table, he asked, “Why did y'all buy so many burgers?” “Because we're generous bitches and we share with everybody,” Clover said. “Well, shit then.” He reached into the bag and pulled out a couple of burgers. After a few bites he said, “I need to get a drink.” “Just go to the counter,” Roxanne told him, “We're running a tab.” Sporty stuffed the rest of the burger in his mouth, then went to the counter. He came back a minute later with a large orange soda. “You been thinking about tomorrow?” he asked Roxanne. “Yeah, I've been thinking about it…” “Hey Sporty,” Clover said, interrupting her, “Let me ask you something.” “Yeah, what?” He reached for another burger. “Why do so many black families have macaroni and cheese for Christmas dinner?” “Because it's good as hell. We still have all the regular shit, turkey and mashed potatoes and cranberries and all that.” “Pumpkin pie or sweet potato?” “What do you think? Sweet potato pie.” “What kind of stuffing?” “Cornbread.” “Just plain?” “Fuck no, my mom puts Jimmy Dean sausage in it.” “Damn!” Clover exclaimed. “Listen, if this silly bitch don't want to come to your mom's house for Christmas dinner can I come?” “You can both come as far as I'm concerned.” Roxanne laughed. “That's actually a pretty good plan. If your mom spends five minutes with Clover, she'll think I'm little miss sunshine.” “No, she'll think you're a dumb bitch who thinks Santa only has eight reindeer.” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “Damn, you back on that shit?” Sporty said, rolling his eyes. Clover slipped out of the booth. “Fuck you both,” she said, standing up. “Hey everybody,” she shouted, “I'm taking a Christmas survey. How many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” There was murmuring throughout the room. The big goth kid was counting on his fingers. One of the parking attendants was quietly singing Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. His friend said, emphatically, “Eight.” The goth girl said “Nine, if you count Rudolph.” “Rudolph wasn't one of the originals,” he replied. “So where did he come from?” “Gene Autry.” “Dead white man,” she muttered. The man who had been singing said, “The Night Before Christmas guy gave them their names.” The skinny goth kid glared over the back of the booth at him. “But who said he was in charge of fucking reindeer?” “He wrote the goddamn poem!” “They didn't know about Rudolph then!” “Isn't it nice to see how the holidays bring people together,” Roxanne said to Sporty. “All right,” Clover said, clapping her hands together. “Let's put it to a vote. How many people say nine?” She raised her hand and the goth kids and the old lady joined her. “Who says eight?” Roxanne, Sporty, the parking guys and the old man raised their hands. Clover looked at Sporty. “Put your fucking hand down, man, your vote don't count.” “Why don't my vote count?” “Because you ain't hoping to get any pussy from me tonight.” “You got that right,” he smirked. Roxanne turned in her seat. “How many people say ten?” They all looked at her, perplexed. No one raised a hand. “That's your cue to sit down and shut the fuck up,” she said to Clover. Clover looked around with a frown, then sat without saying anything more. Sporty looked over his shoulder and said, “Who thinks Die Hard is a Christmas movie?” Everyone raised their hand. “Goddamn right,” he muttered. Roxanne nudged him with her elbow. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said. He stood up and let her go by. The parking lot guys were getting up to leave. They thanked her for the burgers as she went past their table and wished her a happy holiday. One gave her a big hug. At least he didn't try to cop a feel, she thought as she went into the women's bathroom. When she opened the door to come out a few minutes later, Sporty was standing in front of it. “You know how cute you look in that hat?” he asked. “Do you know how desperate you sound when you try to sweet talk me?” “Nah, I ain't desperate. It'd be alright if you don't want to go tomorrow. I get it. But don't go saying you weren't welcome to go, because you were asked.” “Okay, that's fair. It's just that it's a big step.” “You got to take steps if you want to get anywhere,” he said. She put her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. Looking past him, she did not see anyone watching them. She gripped the waist of his pants and walked backward, pulling him into the bathroom. Sporty pushed the door shut behind him, and let Roxanne tug him across the room until her hips bumped against the edge of the sink. Roxanne leaned back, looking up at him and biting her lip. He gazed down at her, his hands on her hips, and kissed her. She kissed him back, but then turned her head. “At some point,” she said, “we have to talk about where we are going.” “We do,” he replied, “but we ain't got to do it right now.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and they exchanged a long, hard, tongue swirling kiss. Sporty's hands moved to her breasts, squeezing and caressing them, while Roxanne dropped her hand down to rub his stiff cock through his jeans. “I think you've got something you want to give me for Christmas,” she whispered. “I don't know,” he said, “I don't think you've been a very good girl.” “Do you want me to be a good girl?” “Aw, hell no,” he said. He took a half step back, seized her waist and spun her around to face the sink. Her Santa hat fell off, landing in the basin. He ran one hand down between her legs and cradled her chin in the other. “Look at you,” he whispered in her ear. Her glasses had slipped down her nose. She pushed them back into their proper position and gazed at herself in the mirror. “Look and see what I see.” Roxanne looked at his eyes in the mirror as his hand rubbed and squeezed her pussy. “Don't look at me, look at you.” She stared at her own reflection, resisting the temptation to watch as he unfastened her jeans and pushed them down over her hips. But when his fingers slipped inside her, she leaned her head back and kissed the side of his neck. His fingers probed deep into her, his thumb played with her clitoris. She reached back and rubbed his crotch. She fumbled at his belt until he gently pushed her hand away and undid it himself. Roxanne felt his cock bump against her ass, then slip down between her thighs. He placed his hand between her shoulders and gently pushed her down until her elbows were on the sides of the sink. She picked up her Santa hat and put it back on her head. Sporty kneaded her ass, then spread her thighs, pressed the head of his cock into her pussy and began to fuck her with long, smooth strokes. Clover snickered when she saw Sporty disappear into the women's bathroom. Get your figgy pudding, girlfriend, she thought, don't go until you get some. She walked to the counter and got a refill on her Mountain Dew, then stopped and listened for a minute. The sound wasn't loud, but she could hear them in the bathroom. They were definitely fucking in there. As she walked back to the booth, she saw the goth girl looking toward the bathroom. She glanced up at Clover with a smirk. Clover winked at her and sat back down in the booth. A few minutes later, the skinny goth kid leaned close to the window and peered out. He wiped away the condensation with his sleeve and looked again. “Fucking cops,” he muttered. “What cops?” Clover asked. “Cop car just pulled up.” “Oh, shit,” Clover muttered. She looked toward the bathroom. She couldn't hear Roxanne and Sporty where she was sitting, but there was no doubt that when the cops walked in, they would. They had to walk right past the bathroom to get to the counter. One of them might even go into the mens' room. She thought about warning them somehow, but didn't think there was enough time. That was confirmed when she saw the cops approaching the door. She had to do something. Just as they reached the door, she began singing at the top of her lungs. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why. The goth girl looked up at her and immediately realized what she was doing and joined in. Santa Claus is coming to town. The cops walked in. One was an older man. His eyes and shoulders both drooped. There's another guy doesn't want to be working on Christmas Eve, Clover thought. His partner was a young, thin black man. They walked right past the bathroom to the counter. He's making a list, He's checking it twice. The other goth kids joined in the singing. He's gonna a find out who's naughty and nice. The old couple began to sing along. Santa Claus is coming to town. The two cops stood by the counter, looking around the room. Julio approached the cash register. The older cop leaned in and spoke to him. Julio pointed to Clover and the cop looked over at her. He nodded, then spoke to Julio again. He sees you when you're sleeping, He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good, So be good for goodness sake Julio handed each of the cops a bag of burgers and a cup of coffee. Now get the fuck out of here, Clover thought, but instead of leaving they walked toward her. The older cop held out his hand. “Awfully nice thing for you to do, ma'am,” he said. The other customers kept singing. Clover shook his hand. The younger cop shook with her as well. They turned toward the door, tipping their hats to the older couple as they went by. The older cop walked out just as the customers were finishing the last chorus, but the younger cop turned and went to the counter. He held out his open bag toward Julio. “Could you toss a couple of ketchups in there?” he asked. Julio nodded and dropped a handful of packets in his bag. “Thank you, Merry Christmas.” he said, then waved to the customers. “Merry Christmas, everyone.” He took two steps toward the door and stopped and looked toward the bathroom. Clover could hear Roxanne moaning from where she was sitting. He looked around the room. “Does anyone know who is in there?” he asked. “Yes, officer,” Clover said, “That's my friend. I'm afraid she ate a few too many of these gut grenades. You know what they can do to your digestion.” “Yeah, we all been there once or twice, I suppose,” he said. He went to the door and started to open it, then stopped, obviously listening to the sounds emanating from the bathroom. He turned and looked Clover in the eyes. An amused expression crossed his face. He winked at her and walked out. Roxanne had already come twice when she heard the singing. She thought it was just in her head until Sporty paused between thrusts and muttered, “What the fuck is that?” “Jesus, don't fucking stop,” she groaned. “Oh, you need some more of this dick?” “Goddamn it, yes, Sporty, fuck me.” He gripped her hips and began slapping his loins against her ass harder. She braced her hands against the mirror and shoved back against each plunge of his cock. “You getting kind of loud,” he told her. She dropped her head and her Santa hat fell off. She grabbed it and bit down on the white felt ball to keep from crying out. But after a minute or two, she let go of it, unable to keep from moaning loudly each time he jammed his cock deep inside her. She looked up at him in the mirror. Their eyes met, and the look of passion on his face pushed her over the edge into another orgasm. Before it subsided, she felt him stiffen, jerk his cock a few more times and withdraw, as his hot cum ran down the inside of her thigh. “At least they stopped that fucking singing,” Sporty said as Roxanne cleaned herself up. He picked up her Santa hat from the floor, brushed it off and stuck it back on her head, then unlatched the door. “Hold on a minute, babe,” Roxanne said. She raised her face and kissed him. “I'd be happy to go to your mom's tomorrow.” “Damn,” he said with a wide grin, “All I had to do was fuck you real good?” “You always fuck me real good.” “Then I will always get my way, right?” “Don't push your luck,” she said, opening the door. As they came out of the bathroom, the goth kids were walking toward the exit. “Merry Christmas. And thanks,” the girl said. “Yeah, thanks,” skinny kid said as well. The big kid stopped, looked at Roxanne and held his fist out toward Sporty. “Yo,” he said, “You da dawg, bro.” Sporty bumped fists with him. “Fucking white kids,” he muttered, chuckling. They slipped back into the booth, where Clover was waiting for them with her arms crossed and a smug expression on her face. “What was that singing?” Sporty asked. “That was me saving the you two fuckpuppies from spending Christmas in the slammer.” “What are you talking about?” Roxanne asked. “A couple cops came in here while you were getting your stocking stuffed. We were singing so they wouldn't hear the noise you were making.” “We weren't making that much noise.” Sporty laughed. “Girl, you loud as hell.” The old couple came to their booth and thanked them for their burgers. “Merry Christmas,” the man said, shaking all their hands. “There is a special place in heaven for you ladies,” the woman said. As they walked away, Clover said, “You think there is a special place in heaven for us?” “If we died tonight, we might at least be able to make a case for it,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “And by next week, we are fucked again.” Julio came out of the kitchen with a damp rag and wiped the table where the parking guys had been sitting. “Hey, Julio didn't vote,” Clover said. She called to him. “Julio, how many reindeers does Santa Claus have?” Julio looked at her with a perplexed expression. “I don't know,” he said. “You know, like in the song. Dancer and Prancer and Donger and Blitzkin…” “Donger?” Roxanne asked. Julio shrugged. “I don't know that song.” “You don't know it? What the fuck country are you from?” He stared as her and said, “Colombia.” “Oh. Shit. Sorry, I wasn't trying to be rude.” “She doesn't have to try,” Roxanne said, “It's her default mode.” Julio shook his head and returned to the kitchen. “Give the brother a break,” Sporty said, “He's from South America. What the fuck he gonna know about reindeers? Ask him about llamas, he'll probably tell you everything you ever wanted to know.” “I can't think of anything I want to know about llamas,” Clover shot back. “But I do feel kind of bad for the guy. I mean, he'd have had a lot easier night if we hadn't come in here and bought burgers and shit for everybody.” “It's his job,” Roxanne said with a shrug. “Yeah, and we fucking threw a fit because we had to work on Christmas Eve.” “You threw a fit. I didn't.” “You didn't like it.” “No, but I acted like a fucking grown-up about it.” “Yeah, but you have to act like one because you don't look like one.” Sporty looked in the bag. “Anybody want this last burger?” he asked. Roxanne and Clover shook their heads. Sporty bit into the burger, swallowed and said, “You feel so bad for the guy, why don't you do something nice for him for Christmas?” “Like what?” Clover asked. “Like what the fuck you think?” Sporty asked. Clover looked at him for a minute, then tipped her head to look past him. Julio was wiping off the service counter. “He's not a bad looking guy,” Roxanne said. “Well then, why don't you go do it then?” Clover asked. “I wasn't a twat to him.” “Besides,” Sporty said with a grin, “she already got hers.” “I ain't gonna fuck him in the bathroom,” Clover said. Roxanne laughed. “The bathroom is clean, at least.” “You don't think I will do it, do you?” “Bitch, I stopped trying to figure out what you would or wouldn't do about the time you set my boyfriend's car on fire,” Roxanne said. Julio disappeared into the kitchen. “Fuck both of you,” Clover said. She got up and followed him. “Hey, Julio,” she called. He was standing at the dish sink and turned around at the sound of her voice. “Listen, dude,” she said, “I hope I didn't say anything that offended you or got you upset or what not. That's just me clowning around.” “It is fine. I understand.” “Well, I think we put a lot of extra work on you tonight, coming in here and disrupting and shouting and singing and all.” “No, it is fine, Missus.” “Well, it's Christmas and all that. I'd like to maybe give you a little something for your trouble…” Julio waved his hands. “No Missus, we are not allowed to except tips.” “Yeah, I wasn't talking about giving you money.” She looked around and saw an open door at the back of the kitchen. She walked to it and peered into a dark room. “What's in here?” she asked. “That's the manager's office.” Clover walked in and flipped the light switch. A large flat top desk against the far wall nearly filled the room. There was a faux leather swivel chair in front of it. Clover plopped down into it, spun around, and put her feet up on the desk. Julio stood in the doorway, looking nervous. “The manager does not like anyone sitting in his chair,” he said, “No one is allowed.” “But you're the assistant manager right?” “Si.” “So when he ain't here, you're the fucking manager and it's your chair.” “I do not think so…” “And I am your guest, so I can sit in your chair.” “Missus,” he said, “I know it's a foolish rule but I need this job.” “Do you think I'm gonna tell anybody about this?” Julio looked at her with a puzzled expression. “About what, Missus?” “First of all, stop calling me Missus. Then come over here and find out.” She sat up, put her feet on the floor and patted the top of the desk. Julio leaned back and looked around the kitchen as if he suspected someone might be lurking there. Clover patted the desktop again. “The boss told you not to sit in his chair, but he didn't say shit about sitting on his desk, did he?” “No. I suppose he did not.” She pushed the chair back until it banged into the wall. “So have a seat.” Julio bit his lip, seeming lost in thought, then sat on the edge of the desk. “Dude, lose that dumbass apron.” Julio reached behind his back and untied the apron. Before he could pull it over his head, Clover had his belt unbuckled. He watched with an expression of amazement as she deftly unsnapped his waistband, yanked down his zipper, and pulled his cock free. “Do all the men in Columbia have big dicks?” she asked as she wrapped her hand around it. “Si,” Julio said, “It is well known in Latin America, Missus.” “You call me Missus again and I might bite it off,” she said. She flicked her tongue at the head, then wrapped her lips around it and began to suck. Julio briefly lifted his hips from the desk and tugged his pants and shorts down to his thighs. Clover cupped his balls in her left hand, massaging them, while her right hand stroked his shaft. She took it in her mouth again, but almost immediately, she heard a chime ringing. She raised her head and asked Julio, “What the fuck is that?” Julio had a look of panic on his face. “Someone is at the drive-through,” he said, “I must go serve them.” He started to rise, but she put her hands on his hips and pushed him back down. “No, fuck that,” she said, “Stay right there.” She got up and rushed to the dining room. Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth, kissing. “Hey, you fucking lovebirds, I need help here,” she shouted. When they looked at her in surprise, she said, “There's somebody in the fucking drive-through. Either of you guys ever work at a fast food place?” “I worked at Burger King in high school.” Sporty said. “Well, pry Roxy's hand off your whopper and get the fuck in here and find out what they want.” She disappeared back into the kitchen. Roxanne and Sporty looked at each other and shrugged. “I'll give it a try,” Sporty said. He slipped out of the booth and headed toward the kitchen, Roxanne following close behind. “It's like somebody told Santa they wanted a shit show for Christmas,” she muttered. Sporty went to the drive-through window and looked around. “Fuck. I don't know how to use this touchscreen shit,” he said. “Can you at least talk to the guy?” Roxanne asked. “Yeah, that shit looks the same. Hold on.” He was distracted by the sounds coming from the manager's office. “What's she doing in there?” he asked. “Sounds like she's sucking his dick.” “Damn, she's loud, too. Sounds like somebody got a rag stuck in their wet-vac.” He pressed several buttons on the communications panel, but nothing happened. He fiddled with the volume knob, and clicked the headset on and off, all to no avail. Suddenly, he was startled by a blasting horn, and looked over to see a white pick up truck right outside the window The driver, a large, red faced, bearded man, was glaring at him. “Honey, I don't think that's Santa Claus,” Roxanne said. Sporty slid the window open. “I've been out here trying to order for ten fucking minutes,” the man shouted. “Yeah, sorry about that,” Sporty said. “We got some kind of computer problem.” The man looked past him at Roxanne. “Looks to me like the problem is you're having some kind of party in there.” “Naw, she's the manager. She come in to try to fix it.” “So why isn't she fixing it?” “Sir,” Roxanne said, “I'm sorry, but there is nothing we can do about it until the tech guys get here.” “I worked to midnight on Christmas Eve. All I wanted was some burgers for when I get home.” “I'll see what I can get for you, no charge.” She went to the grill. There were onions simmering in the corner and pre-cooked patties in a warming pan. She found a package of buns and put a half dozen on the grill to brown. The man tapped his fingers impatiently on the door of his car. “This is some bullshit,” he barked at Sporty, “You got something for me or not?” “Roxy is fixing it up right now.” “The manager's name is Roxy?” “Yeah, she was named for her grandmom.” Roxanne's glasses kept steaming up from the grill's heat. She did her best to assemble the burgers, but one got no onions, one had triple pickle and some were drenched with mustard and ketchup while others got no more than a drop or two. She boxed the burgers, stacked them in a bag, and handed it to Sporty. “About time,” the man grumbled. “What about a Coke? I need something to drink.” “Coming right up!” Roxanne said with a big smile. As she poured a Coke from the dispenser she thought, I hope those burgers give you the shits, asshole. Sporty handed him the drink and cheerily said, “Merry Christmas, sir.” The man growled. “Yeah, right. I guess the two of you can get back to whatever you were doing now.” “Thank you, sir,” Sporty said, “But we already finished that. Appreciate the thought though.” The man glared at them, muttered something underneath his breath, and drove off. “What did he say?” Roxanne asked. “I didn't catch in, but I think one of the words started with an F and one with an N.” “Feliz Navidad?” “Most likely not.” “Should we figure out how this works, in case someone else pulls up?” “How long Julio gonna take getting his nut?” Roxanne shrugged. “Hold up,” Sporty said, “I got a better idea.” He walked to the back door, opened it and, looking outside, flicked a couple of light switches on the walk. “There you go,” he said. “What did you do?” “Turned off the outside lights, so the place looks closed.” Clover took Julio's cock into her mouth until she felt his pubic hair tickling her nose, then swallowed. That will keep him from trying to go see what's happening in the kitchen, she thought. When she was out of breath, she rose up, releasing his cock with a loud popping sound. She circled the head with her tongue a few times, then dove down and swallowed again. It was late, she was tired, her jaw was starting to ache and her belly was rumbling in complaint over its load of greasy hamburger. She sucked in her cheeks as hard as she could, and Julio exhaled loudly and raised his hips from the desk. As she lifted her head, Julio spurted into her mouth. She swallowed most of it, then picked up his apron off the desk and wiped her face with it, surreptitiously spitting out the rest of his load. He leaned forward, his head hanging low, while he recovered his breath. Clover stood up, and loudly burped. “Sorry about that,” she said. Julio stood, pulling up his pants. “It is okay, Missus.” They walked into the kitchen. Julio immediately noticed that it was dark outside the drive through window. “You friends, I think they turned off the lights,” he said, “I will have to turn them on and to see what else they might have done.” “Okay, well, Merry Christmas, dude.” “And to you, Missus.” Clover turned away, but he added, “Missus?” She looked back. “Maybe you will come for hamburgers again.” Clover looked him over. “Yeah, I might.” Roxanne and Sporty were sitting in the booth when Clover returned to the dining room. Roxanne was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder and her eyes shut. Clover sat down across from them. “You guys about ready to go?” she asked. Roxanne sat up straight and stretched. “Yeah we might as well,” she said. Sporty looked out the window. “That sleet shit turned into real snow,” he said. He nudged Roxanne. “Let me up, baby.” She stood and he slid out of the booth. “Give me your keys,” he said, “I'll get your car warmed up.” She fished her keys out of her purse and handed them to him as he put on his coat. Watching him walk out, Clover said, “When a man cleans the snow off your car for you, he's getting serious. Especially if he does it after you fuck him.” “I think asking me to come with him to his mom's house for Christmas shows that pretty good, too.” “So, stop being a fucking pussy about it. You think you're going to find another nice guy who is obviously crazy about you and doesn't give a shit what you do for a living?” Roxanne was silent for a minute. “It doesn't seem likely, does it?” she said at last. They kissed again and Sporty said, “You know, I had a lot of girlfriends before, but I never brought one home with me on Christmas.” She patted his cheek, kissed him and said, “I've had a lot of boyfriends before, but I never fucked one in the bathroom at White Castle on Christmas Eve.” She kissed him on the nose and dashed to her car, calling, “See you tomorrow, babe.” “It's about time,” Clover said, as Roxanne got into the drivers seat, “I'm freezing my tits off over here.” “That's because they're fake.” “Probably. They should've come with like a heater option.” “I wish I'd known it was a problem, I would have got you one for Christmas.” Clover reached across the console and squeezed Roxanne's hand. “Merry Christmas, Rhonda,” she said. Roxanne felt her eyes moisten. “Merry Christmas, Charlene.” The last display before the park exit, the grand finale, was a great arc of lights over the road. On the left, Santa rode in his sleigh, overflowing bags of gift boxes and teddy bears behind him. His reindeer stretched along the arc, their legs blinking in a dance across the night sky. At the right end of the display, Rudolph's nose glowed like a beacon. “Nine!” Clover shouted, “Bitch, count ‘em! nine fucking reindeers!” “Rudolph doesn't count.” “He counts in this town.” “Why? Because Parks and Rec says he does?” Clover sat back, her arms crossed over her chest in triumph. “Nine fucking reindeer,” she smirked. “Eight,” Roxanne muttered. “Nine.” “Eight…” By  MelissaBaby for Literotica

Please join us at patreon.com/tortoiseshack In this wrap of 2024 we are joined by the dream team of Shamim Malekmian and Harry McEvansoneya, to look back over 2024, share a few laughs and worry about the direction of travel in too much of global politics. We talk heroes, villains and the stories that included both of those. All Hail the Bike Shed. Happy Christmas from Donna and Blitzen! The Child's Wish from Gaza Pod is out now here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/118607091 Prof Richard Murphy on the UK's 2024 is out now here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/118100221

Is politics the best discussion topic for family during the holidays? Did Dane discover the secret to marriage? Will Samuel become a professional DJ? Listen in this week to find out the answers to these questions while also hearing stories about ripping your pants on the dance floor, Mountain Dew being the true measurement of health, and starting a family brawl. --- Please follow our Instagram & TikTok to stay updated on all things podcast and make sure to send us a voice message via Instagram DM to be featured on one of our next episodes. https://www.instagram.com/untilnextweekpodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@untilnextweekpodcast --- Please leave us a 5 STAR REVIEW on both Spotify and Apple for a chance to be mentioned on a future episode. --- SUPPORT DANE: [Please send us a DM with your name and amount if you decide to donate for tracking purposes] https://hillcityglobal.managedmissions.com/MyTrip/danebiesemeyer1 --- GET $5 OFF THE BEST LISTED DISCOUNT FOR 2 FRIDAY PICKLEBALL PADDLES: [USE CODE SAMUEL 14434] https://www.fridaypickle.com/discount/SAMUEL14434 --- Key words for the algorithm: Clean Podcast, Clean Comedy, Friday Pickleball, Ghostrunners Podcast, Fantasy Football, Green Bay Packers, Dallas Cowboys, Santa's Reindeer, Silent Disco, Frosty Fresh, Mafia, K-Life, Kansas City Chiefs, Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift, Nolan Arenado Went To The Astros, Woody Johnson Vetoes Trades, BMI Is A Scam, Acceptable Holiday Movies, Home Alone, Elf, Santa Claus, Duck Calls, Sabrina Carpenter, Dating, Magic Johnson, Liposuction, Three P's of Dating, and Ho Ho Ho. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/untilnextweek/support

The Sidebars take a well-deserved break, and we get a special treat to celebrate the Wetmas season! DM Julz is joined by some amazing guests, as they make their way through a Wetmas story like no other...Featuring:Allan Henry as Puddle (the forest gnome storm sorcerer)Penny Dee as Blitzen (the reindeer centaur cleric)Josh as Jackie Sleet (the water genasi monk) and Julz Burgisser as DMVisit www.fateofisen.com to learn more.Fate of Isen is one of the Feedspot top D&D podcasts in the world! Check out Feedspot here.If you like the show, please feel free to follow us on social media (@fateofisen) or support us on Patreon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★ Intro, outro, and recap music by freesound user, Tyops, and ambient sound by TabletopAudio.com

Kris commissions his signature ‘Santa's Dildo'.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. When I woke up, I had a splitting headache. Blizzard was standing on a stool in front of my chair, licking the last of Sugar Plum's cum out of my beard with her long, sensitive tongue. She was wearing a white robe, one of Mary's new uniforms. I waited until she was done.“What time is it?” I mumbled.“Three hours after closing time,” she answered. “I'm glad the quitting bell didn't awaken you. It arose such a clatter.”I felt like throwing up. Blizzard grabbed a trashcan without me even needing to ask. She always knew what I wanted before I did. She was such a good elf. She held the can under my mouth.“I don't feel so good.”“You drank too much elf milk. So did Indigo. I had to send her home early. Everyone else stayed late to get their work done, just in case you're wondering. And be of good cheer, your headache will pass.”I saw the ripped up shreds of the secretary costume in the trashcan.“How did you know?”“I saw how you looked at Holly. I knew what you were thinking. You wanted to anoint her, but you didn't because you loved Mrs. Kringle. But you don't love her any more, do you?”“No.”“I thought not. I am very perceptive. And I don't think you're going to vomit after all.” She was right. I was feeling better.She put the trashcan on the floor. “I suppose I should tell you that I encouraged Holly to present herself as a gift to you. I felt you needed it. It cannot be good to go so many years without anointing anyone. I even made the pretty underwear for her. I wore the same pair last night, though I had to take them in a bit.”“Really? Those were the same panties?”“Yes. Imagine my surprise when you passed on the opportunity. Humans. Very difficult to understand.”“It's a good thing I turned her down. I might have injured her.”“Yes, but I didn't know how large you were at the time. Your elf servants have seen you naked of course, but apparently you triple in size when you harden. I am perceptive, but I didn't think about that. Silly me. So, it's definitely a good thing you didn't attempt to mount Holly. She had a very small pussy.”“How do you know?”“Oh, I made love to her the morning after you turned her down… well, she looked so sad and so horny. She didn't like my tongue at first… it really is quite long, even for an Elf, but she quickly learned to enjoy it. And I learned to enjoy the flavor of human pussy. It's really quite nice.”Even all these years later, the thought of Blizzard going down on Holly was enough to give me a hard-on. “You… had sex with Holly?”“She'd done such a good job as my assistant, I thought it was the least I could do. I anointed her with my milk. She was very happy when she left.” Then Blizzard kissed me on the lips and said, “Thank you, Mr. Kringle, for the secretary's day gift.”I smiled. I felt warm and alive. “Thank you, Blizzard, for the fantasy come true.”She laughed a high, musical laugh. “My pleasure. But it was only fantasy for the first few minutes.” She squeezed my growing erection, “I've got to go home, Mr. Kringle. Maybe tomorrow.”She hopped off my lap and started walking toward the door. I looked around and noticed that the cum had all been cleaned up. I'd have never known an orgy had happened here, other than the stains on my own clothes.“Is that sort of thing normal for elves?”“Not really, Santa. We never have love-share during working hours.” She said as she was walking out the door.“Then why did you do it today?”“You wanted us to, of course,” With a wink of her eye, she closed the door. Blizzard was a perceptive elf, but not a wise one. She knew what I wanted without needing to ask, but she didn't seem to know that sometimes what we want isn't necessarily what's good for us.SCENE 5:SAVING CHRISTMASAs Kris told his story, he rarely looked at me but up at the ceiling instead, perhaps afraid I might be judging him. He needn't have worried. I was sitting cross-legged on the other bed, listening with rapt attention, totally turned on. During his story he'd grown hard every time he got to one of the ‘good parts'. But each time he'd brought his knees up to hide what was happening. But I could see the outlines of his massive shaft inside the loose fitting trousers. I found myself salivating, itching to slip onto his bed and unleash his manhood. But I had a modicum of willpower now, so I forced myself to sit still and listen.When he started describing the crazy elf orgy in his office his eyes glazed over, lost in his memories, unaware that he was getting hard. Much to my surprise and delight, Kris' cock grew larger and larger until his pants were tenting straight up a good ten inches. Then, when he got to the part of his story where he sodomized Blizzard, his cock grew even longer and slowly ripped through the fabric of his loose (but not loose enough) pants. My god! He wasn't lying, it could actually do that! I watched in amazement as the head of his massive pole emerged through the splitting seam, encased at first in his silky red boxers, which were decorated with Christmas trees. But soon the insistent bulge ripped through the silk too, and what to my wondering eyes should appear? Santa's fifteen inch cock! It was darker than the rest of his skin, ruddy and throbbing with his hot blood. The boxers and pants settled, revealing every inch of his throbbing Santahood. I thought he'd been bragging when he how big it was. But I shouldn't have doubted him. Kris Kringle never lies!I'd seen hundreds of cocks on my cross-country quest, from the tiniest little tadgers to the world's biggest pricks. I thought I'd seen them all, but I was wrong. This was definitely the biggest one of them all, by far! I don't particularly care how big a man's penis is when he's fucking me. It always feels great. In fact, anything over two inches thick is downright uncomfortable. But I've always loved to see and hold huge shlongs in my hands, ever since I'd given a bath to fake homeless Santa. Whenever I came across a hung Santa, I'd usually give him a hand job while he fingered me. Sometimes I didn't even need that much to have an orgasm, it was so exciting for me. So looking at Kris' abominable snowman made me instantly wet. I could barely concentrate on his fascinating story.When he finished talking about the orgy, his cock started getting softer, and he only noticed it when it flopped heavily over onto his thigh.“Damn it!” shouted Kris. He sat up in bed to cover himself. His cheeks turned beet red, “I'm so sorry. I hate when it does that!”“It's okay, Kris. Believe me, I've seen it all.” He smiled at me and fumbled his cock back into the ripped hole. I even enjoyed watching that. “I hope that's never happened when kids are around.”“No. I only see kids when I'm delivering toys, and to do that I need all my concentration on the task. I need to be filled, suffused with love and the spirit of Christmas. If I'm thinking about anything else… like naked elves for instance, I just can't do it. I mean, I have to fly my sleigh around to millions of houses in a few hours' time.”“Yes, how do you do that? I've always wanted to know!”“I don't know… I just do. I go into some sort of time warp, I guess. I don't know how it works. It just does. If I'm in the 'Christmas Spirit', that is.” The expression on his face suddenly became desperate and tears filled his eyes.Now I understood. I moved closer, sitting on the edge of my bed. “You're afraid you won't be able to get into the Christmas Spirit this year, don't you?”He burst into tears, holding his hands over his face, his secret fear spoken aloud at last. I moved to his bed and put my hand on his chest. “But what about last Christmas? You delivered the toys then didn't you?”“Yes, but with the added burden of the sex toy deliveries I missed almost twelve thousand homes! I had so send those presents in the… mail.” He said the last word as if it was the most shameful word in the English language. “This year, I don't think I'll be able to deliver any toys at all.” He began weeping again.Santa was a basket case.“Don't cry Kris. I'll help you figure it out.” But of course, I had no idea how. It had taken months for me to stop chasing Santas, even after I realized it was a self-destructive habit that was ruining my life. Christmas Eve was tomorrow! There was precious little time to quiet Kris' troubled mind.I lay down in bed next to Kris, and cuddled him, my hand on his belly, and my head on his shoulder. His strong arm hugged me lightly, but he didn't try to reach farther and feel me up. If he had, I don't know what I would have done.A dim light was coming through the window. Shit! I'd been listening to his story for so many hours, I hadn't noticed the time! It had to be after noon, because the sun was only up between noon and 2 in Alaska that time of year. But Kris felt so warm in my arms. I decided to give him a few minutes to cry softly, while I cuddled him and patted his belly. I closed my eyes… for just a second.When I woke up, Kris' cock had emerged from the hole in his pants again. It seemed to be towering above me. Then I noticed that my bare hand was wrapped around the base of it. Blitzen, it was warm! I could hear from his light snoring that he was asleep. I didn't move a muscle. I just looked at his cock, feeling his flesh in my hand. How long had I been holding it? There was something familiar about his cock… almost like I'd seen it before. Déjà vu… I watched as a tiny bit of pre-cum seeped out of the tip and dripped down the shaft. I stared in fascination as it made its long trip downward, until it spread out on my knuckle. What was I doing?I let go, and sat up. I looked at the clock. We'd been asleep for hours. It was nearly five P.M. on Christmas Eve!“Santa… Kris. Wake up,” I said, my back to him, not wanting to be tempted by the sight of his cock again. “It's Christmas Eve.”He woke up and cursed again at his misbehaving member.I laughed. “Maybe you should invest in some stretch-pants,” I said.He chuckled deeply. “I'm glad I amuse you so much.”I still had no idea what to do to help him, but I knew where to start.“Kris. You need to take me to the North Pole.”I said it firmly, in a no-nonsense way. He said, “Okay.”He'd parked his Sleigh behind a stand of trees a few hundred yards from the diner. My god, the reindeer were beautiful. They were huge and furry. I couldn't believe I was actually seeing them with my own eyes! Kris introduced them to me. Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Sprinkles. Blitzen was apparently home, sick with a cold. As I met each reindeer I was amazed at how individual each one was. Some pranced and pawed, others just stared at me stoically. Apparently Kris understood their language, but I didn't. Just sounded like a bunch of honking and snorting to me.Santa had to hook them to the sleigh, because he'd unbridled them before coming to see me at the Moose Café. That actually touched me a bit. It meant he'd planned to spend some time chatting with me. Or maybe it meant he'd hoped to fuck me. Either way, it was touching.The sleigh was impressive for how unimpressive it was. In all the movies it's this super-amazing contraption. But Santa's sleigh is just an ordinary wooden sleigh with chipped paint and rusty old bells. It looked like it had been patched up a hundred times like the old junker I drove. When I climbed aboard, I didn't feel magical. I had imagined this moment my whole life, but it was actually quite ordinary. Just two people climbing aboard an old sleigh. Ho, hum.But then he shouted in his booming voice, “Dash away!” and the reindeer started galloping. The whole rickety contraption lifted off the snow, as if it were light as a feather. My heart leapt up in my throat! Now this was more like it! The reindeer hooves were now running in midair. We banked up steeply, twisting and dodging among the glistening treetops. I suddenly felt as if the sleigh were going to tip over, so I threw my arms around Kris and looked back to see the lights of Anchorage growing small behind us. The sky was clear. The storm had passed during the night. We were surrounded by stars, dancing playfully around the moon, illuminating a wonderland of snow below us. I held Kris Kringle tight. We snuggled up together, so comfy… so cozy were we.After a while I noticed something odd.“Kris. We must be a thousand feet up, in the arctic… but I'm not cold.”“Of course not. You're with me.”We were picking up speed, but I saw Kris pull back on the reins a bit. I understood. There were still things to be said, but he didn't know how to continue.I gave him a nudge, “So, what happened after the orgy in your office? It sounds like you'd sort of made your peace with the situation.”“Yes. That's right. I didn't have any more orgies for a while. But I did start sleeping with… I mean, fucking female elves, usually one to four at a time. I was shy about it at first, but Blizzard was happy to hook me up with any elf that caught my eye, as long as they weren't Mary's elves. But soon I didn't need help. I hung sprigs of mistletoe about the factory, and if any female elf happened to be standing under one, well she was fair game. It was really quite a fun, liberating time. But I missed Snowbell.”“You didn't see Snowbell?”“No. I asked around for her, but Mary made it clear that Snowbell was her elf, not mine. I didn't want to fight, so there wasn't much I could do about it. Mary and I… well we never talked about any of it. Eventually we stopped talking entirely. She never ate dinner with me anymore, but stayed over in her wing working on her project.”“So you never saw Snowbell again?” I felt sad. From his story, I could tell that Snowbell was special to him.He smiled, “I saw her one last time. She snuck into my bedroom one night. I awoke with her sucking my cock. She laughed and laughed when I woke up, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. Then she got serious and said that she'd been wanting to see me ever so much, but Mary wouldn't let her. I could tell she was conflicted. She was still wearing her hair down as said she would, but she had no choice but to obey Mary. It was in her blood. So I asked her what she was doing in my room. She said Mary had sent her with a proposition. In exchange for one night with Snowbell, I was to donate something to the sex toy project.”“What?”“My cock.”“What do you mean?”“I asked the same thing and when Snowbell told me I had no choice but to comply. I would have traded anything for one more night with that little elf. We fucked for hours. I think we both knew it would be our last time. But before I was done, and when I was at my hardest and longest, Snowbell shaved all the hair off my cock and balls, and spread a molding compound around everything.”Oh, my god… could it be?“When Snowbell was finished she had a perfect cast of my cock and balls. She cleaned off the residue and we went back to fucking… making love, actually, until I fell asleep. When I awoke, Snowbell and the cast were gone.”I started breathing hard. Oh my god, I thought, I hope he tells me what I think he's gonna tell me!“I was sad. But Christmas was coming and I had no time to be maudlin. Anyway, a few days before Christmas Eve Mary finally showed me the sex toy she wanted me to deliver. Apparently, after all the product testing with all the crazy contraptions she could find, she'd determined that the classic sex toy would be best. The big giant dick.”I was right! I was right!“She'd turned the cast of my cock into this big rubber…”I interrupted him, shouting in delight, “…dildo that plays Christmas carols!”He looked at me and a big smile warmed his face. “Did you like it, Virginia?”Oh it was too wonderful for words. “Kris! You saved my life!” I stood up, jumped between his knees and threw my arms around him, kissing him with all my love. Kris Kringle had saved my life!We kissed for a long time. His cock got hard, emerging from the hole in his pants again. It moved up my belly and rested between my breasts, but I didn't touch it. I just wanted to kiss him and he wanted to kiss me. We explored each other's mouths for a long time, sometimes looking into each other's eyes. His azure eyes were the color of a clear blue mountain lake. Eventually his cock realized that I didn't want to fuck, and it shrunk again. I just wanted to kiss Kris Kringle on his sleigh, a thousand feet above the ground, as we crossed the Arctic Circle.When I'd had my fill, I stepped back and saw the quizzical expression on his face.“Thanks,” he said. “But I didn't save your life, Virginia. I just gave you a rubber cock. You didn't send me your customary Christmas list, so I had to put your name on Mary's sex toy list. I was… actually quite worried that you'd be offended by it. That was a pretty obscene Christmas gift. I almost refused to deliver them… but Mary had put so much work into her project, and I was so distracted by all the elf sex I was having, I just didn't have the energy to say no. But right before delivering them, I ripped all the 'from: Santa' tags off.”I put my hands on his fuzzy face. I loved him with all my heart. I'd always loved Santa. But now I loved Kris Kringle, and that's a different thing altogether. “Kris, I never really finished my story earlier. I think now's a good time to tell you how I finally got my shit together. And how you saved my life. ”“Okay”, he said.I kneeled on the bench next to him and held his hand as I talked. “Well, when I found out I was a truck stop whore, I was pretty ticked off, let me tell you. I didn't regret fucking and blowing scores of anonymous Santas. But the lying… it really pissed me off. So before that jerk of a truck driver came back from the shitter, I got behind the wheel of his eighteen-wheeler and drove off without him. He'd taught me how to drive it, the idiot. I headed straight for Alaska. I knew he wouldn't call the cops on me. I mean, what could he say to them? He was my pimp. I could easily prove that and put him in jail."I stopped for gas and Santa hunting all along the Alaska Highway. Fort Nelson, Watson Lake, Winterhorse… Everywhere I stopped I found Santas to kiss and suck and fuck, but they all turned out to be phonies. But I kept heart. I was on a holy mission. Something… some natural force in the universe was driving me to seek you out!”“Well,” he said, “You've finally found me.”I kissed him again, but briefly, and continued my story, “I was getting more and more desperate. By the time I reached Anchorage, Christmas was only a few days away. I started cracking up. I needed to find you… I knew you were in crisis… that you needed me. I was so desperate that I started questioning everything I knew about Santa, and I stopped looking for bearded, jolly, fat men. Now… any man would do. Any man at all as long as he was over thirty. I'd just walk into a gas station or a bar and start kissing every man in the place. Sometimes they'd chase me out… sometimes they wouldn't. Sometimes it ended up with me following them home or taking them back to my stolen truck. Sometimes I was flat on my back in the slushy mud of a freezing cold back alley. Sometimes it was more than one man at a time. One night, four days before Christmas Eve, I went into a sleazy bar, and I was gang fucked. I won't say gang-raped, because I enjoyed every fucking instant of it. There were ten or fifteen men there, all ages, all races, all sizes, fucking me one after another, filling my pussy with cum, shoving their cocks down my throat, jacking off all over my naked body as I lay on my back on the pool table. I loved it… but one by one I realized none of them were you. I begged them to call their friends, anyone, everyone, because Santa was out there somewhere and he needed me to fuck him!”“Oh, Virginia. I'm so sorry.”“An hour and eight men later, a woman came into the bar looking for her boyfriend. When she saw me naked on the pool table, dripping with cum, a line of men waiting for their turn on me, she fought them off and rescued me. I didn't want to leave, but by this time I was too exhausted to resist. She wanted to call the police, but I convinced her that they weren't raping me. I'd asked them to do it… begged them to. She gave me a t-shirt, since my clothes were back at the bar. Then she gave me some sleeping pills, and I fell asleep. But as soon as I woke up I ran straight out the door. Soon I was dashing through the snow, barefoot, going from house to house, looking for men."The first door I banged on was answered by a little old man, probably in his nineties, carrying an oxygen tank. He looked jolly enough for me. I kissed him like crazy, but the tubes that were blowing oxygen up his nose were in the way, so I got on my knees, unzipped his fly and went to town on his cock before he even knew what was happening. He got very hard, very fast. I gobbled on his knob until he shot his wad in my mouth. I looked up at his astonished face, and realized he wasn't you, so I apologized, and ran to the next house. Nobody home. Next house: a woman. Next house…"I found a middle aged man shoveling his sidewalk. I pushed him onto his back in the snow and started kissing him and rubbing myself all over him. I crawled up his body and rubbed my pussy in his face… I was naked under the t-shirt. He was too stunned to lick me or anything so I just fucked his face for a while. He took off his gloves and started feeling me up… my ass, my tits. Finally he started licking my pussy like crazy. That was more like it! I finally had a screaming orgasm. I was going to fuck him next, but I heard his wife in the house yelling, 'what was that noise, Frank? Are you okay?' Frank? Not Santa? I jumped up and ran off. Next house, nobody home, next house a woman making breakfast for her children."Next I came across a small church. I ran inside, intending to pray for you to find me, but instead I found the pastor polishing a candelabra. Soon, I was polishing his penis; first with my mouth, then with my pussy. He was an enthusiastic convert to the church of Virginia, because he bent me over on the railing they give communion at and fucked me from behind. Instead of shooting his wad in me, however, he had me kneel in front of him while he jerked himself off on my face. I looked up at him, my hands together, praying he would turn out to be the real true Santa. He wasn't. Just a perverted priest, led astray by a Santa-seeking slut."I was absolutely totally crazed, but happy, so happy! I felt as if I were fulfilling my purpose in the universe! I didn't even knock at the next door I came to. I just barged right in and saw a teenaged boy sitting in front of a television, playing a video game. He was definitely the youngest person I'd ever considered might be Santa, but by this time my standards had really slipped. It turned out later he was eighteen, but I didn't even think about it at the time. I just pushed his game controller aside, unzipped his fly and started sucking his cock. He couldn't believe what was happening. It was like his secret Christmas wish had come true. I heard later that he was a virgin. He isn't anymore. As soon as he was good and hard, I jumped on his lap and started fucking him. He was so astonished that he didn't even notice the preacher's cum dripping off my face. As I fucked him I lifted my shirt up and rubbed my breasts all over his face. His hard young cock felt so good inside me! I started having a screaming orgasm. Soon he started quivering, then he started cumming."That's when his mother came back from the store. She'd gone to buy a new snow shovel. When she walked in, she thought her son was being attacked by some wild woman from the woods… and I guess he was. She attacked me with the snow shovel.”I lifted up my bangs, to show the long scar I now had on my forehead.Kris' eyes were smoky with compassion. I noticed he had an erection from my story, but he'd put a blanket in his lap to cover it up. He leaned toward me and kissed my scar.I smiled, “There's another one on my thigh… I'll let you kiss that one later. That woman really did a number on me. She even knocked out my two front teeth. I still owe money for the implants. But… actually, she did me a favor. She stopped my ecstatic rampage. I woke up in the Anchorage hospital.”“Yes, I remember,” said Kris. “I'd wondered why you were in a hospital, but I couldn't stick around to find out. I still had millions of presents to deliver.”I put my hand on his cheek. “That's okay. Anyway, when I woke up, it was Christmas eve. I was scarred, and black and blue all over. A male doctor came in to see me, and the first thing I did was to try to unzip his fly to suck his cock. He backed off and I tried to get out of bed to get at him! He said there was a big suture on my thigh, so I needed to keep still. But I didn't care. The nurses had to restrain me… strap me to the bed so I wouldn't hurt myself. The doctor called in a psychiatrist. I was too crazed with desperation to lie, so I told her that I needed to find Santa, I needed to fuck him! I couldn't explain it. I just had to! She was very nice, but in the end she filled out some paperwork to have me transferred to a mental hospital in a few days. I knew what that meant. I'd be locked up! But later that night I was able to talk the nurses into taking off my restraints. They figured it was cruel to keep me strapped down on Christmas Eve. But they kept a sharp eye on me. I waited and waited for everyone to leave for the day. But I fell asleep, listening to the nurses sing Silver Bells as they exchanged presents out in the nurse's station. When I woke up, it was dark. No one was stirring.”“Not even a mouse?” asked Kris, smiling.“Not even a mouse. I snuck out of bed, determined to escape. I was going to run out into the cold dark night. It was crazy. The suture on my leg would have opened up. I'd have bled to death, or froze. I didn't care. I just needed to find Santa… but then… I saw it.”“My present,” he said, smiling.I nodded. “Your present. It was sitting right there, on the rolling tray next to my bed. A big, red, wrapped oblong box. I wondered if the nurses had left it for me. I didn't see a tag. I wanted to run… but I thought… maybe, just maybe, this present was from you. So I carefully unwrapped it, quietly and slowly so nobody would hear me. I was surprised as fuck-all when I saw what was inside. It said 'Santa's Little Helper' on the box, and had a small cartoony drawing of you. Most of the box, though, was clear plastic and I could see what was inside. A giant rubber cock, colored red and white in a spiral pattern, just like the North Pole. I started laughing. I thought, what the fuck is this? Who the hell gave this crazy thing to me? I mean… it was obscene! It was like, fifteen inches long, and four inches thick!” I mimicked the shape and size of it with my hands. He laughed.“When I saw your cock earlier, I should have recognized it. But the spiral red and white stripes must have thrown me off. And I never, even once, thought that YOU had given me that crazy cock! I took it out of the package, absolutely fascinated by it! I didn't know then what I found so fascinating. But… now I know. It was you, Kris. It was your cock. It was what I'd been searching for the last three years… but I didn't even know it! I held it in my hands, feeling its meaty weight… it's insane girth. In spite of the unrealistic coloring, it felt so realistic. I had a rubber cock once… it was all floppy, but this thing… well it was stiff as well as soft, just like a real cock. I knew it would never fit inside me… but I had to try it out. I lay back on my bed, my desire to run away suddenly forgotten. I lifted up my hospital gown and pulled my panties open. I put the head of that monster up to my pussy lips and began to masturbate my clit with it. It felt amazing. I have no idea why. My skin tingled at its touch. It began to vibrate, even though I hadn't turned on any switch. It was a soft vibration… almost undetectable, not like the crude buzzing that normal dildoes make. I started getting wet… and I mean soaking wet. I pushed the head of that thing between my pussy lips and it slid inside. I couldn't believe it. I'd never been able to enjoy the feeling of a big dick inside me, and this was bigger than any I'd ever felt before. It was mind blowing. Oh sure, it felt tight, but it fit! So I decided that it must have been designed to shrink in order to fit inside anybody, no matter their size, you know, like squeezing a sponge. Anyway, it felt good inside me, so I thrust it deeper and it really seemed to go farther than I would have thought possible. It was like a magic act really… the way it seemed to disappear inside me… all the way to the base. And weirdest of all… it was like I could feel all fifteen inches of it inside me, even though I know, for a fact, I am not fifteen inches deep!”Kris was surprised to hear all this. “I didn't know it did that. Mary didn't demonstrate it for me. Just loaded them up on the sleigh. Wow. Elf magic, I guess.”I giggled, “When it was all the way inside me, it started playing a Christmas carol. 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'. I laughed out loud! I thought it was the craziest gift ever! I was so curious who'd left it for me so I could thank them! I grabbed it by its big, heavy balls and started fucking myself with it, and soon I felt so good, I forgot all about how weird it was. I was just fucking myself, feeling the vibration of the music deep inside me. I crammed it into myself for minute after wonderful minute, screaming into a pillow to stifle the sound. I had a powerful orgasm. Powerful."I lay back, the cock… your cock, still inside me, and I went into a post orgiastic state. But your cock wasn't finished with me! It started moving inside me, very slightly, just enough to keep my orgasm zinging, like it was a stone skipping across a lake. I don't know how long this lasted but when it was over… I was absolutely spent… and I felt content. My need to chase Santa had lessened. It was still there, but the hungry, insane desperation was gone. I pulled your cock out of me and lay in bed, hugging it to my belly like a pet, and fell asleep, getting the first really good night's sleep I'd had in two years.”I kissed Kris again. “Thank you for the present Santa.”“You're welcome, Virginia.”To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Kurt Becker's Stroll Through Racing History presented by Keeneland - Kurt looks back at the racing career Blitzen

How Mary Kringle replaced Kris with a set of dildos & her elf girlfriends.By cb summers. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Things really started changing quickly after that. For one thing, Mary moved out of her apartment to be nearer the test room and the small sex toy manufacturing facility she was setting up. I hardly saw her anymore. I resisted the urge to go to the viewing room that week, for fear of dallying with Snowbell again or some other adorable elf.There was something in the air on the factory floor… a buzz of excitement. Wherever I went, I saw elves smiling up at me and whispering to each other. I figured they were talking about the new clothing Mary was designing. But I worried that they knew what Mary and I had done with Snowbell and the other elves… it was too horrible to contemplate! Whatever it was, I found their ancient eyes on me unnerving.I had at least one reason to suspect our dalliance had gotten out: my loyal secretary Blizzard, who'd been my assistant for 85 years, suddenly started flirting with me. At first I didn't realize what she was doing, but eventually I noticed that she'd left her frumpy striped blouse unbuttoned a bit too far. She bent over a few times, and I saw the top of her cleavage to the lacy top of her little elf bra. Then I noticed she wasn't wearing the red and green striped hose I made the female elves wear. She was showing me her bare powder blue legs for the first time ever, and I was shocked by how shapely they were. Blizzard, who was named for her snowy white skin, had always taken care of me. I'd always considered her a mother figure. But now…When I asked her to take a letter, she sat and crossed her luscious legs… slowly… so as to give me a glimpse of her little elf panties. Then, as I dictated, she looked at me intently over the top of her glasses, and every once in a while she'd slowly lick her lips. It was a seductive expression if I ever saw one. All at once I realized the implication of what was going on. She would do anything I wanted. Anything. No questions asked. Any of the elves would. It was pure, unadulterated temptation.I had no idea how I was going to resist. But I held out as long as I could.Every day I fought off the urge to go to the viewing room. But after the eighth day, Snowbell sent me a message saying that Mary was running the last test today. If I was interested in watching, this would be my last opportunity. That pushed me over the edge. Snowbell wanted me to come. Snowbell wanted me to cum! I couldn't resist, but I made up my mind not to do anything naughty. I wanted to be true to Mary, as I was sure she was trying to do too. So as I walked to the viewing room at the appointed time, I was determined to tell Snowbell to leave, and I would lock the door behind her. I wanted to masturbate alone, watching my naked wife play with sex toys, like a normal husband!When I entered the viewing room, my plan went up in smoke. Snowbell was waiting for me, wearing a thin, see-thru, pale blue teddy. I could see her dark blue nipples through the snowflake pattern. I forgot all about my plan.“Glad tidings, Santa! I'm so happy you're back.” She was glittering with happiness. “Here, have a seat. The test hasn't started yet.”I sat on the couch. Snowbell stood nearby, just looking at me, beaming with happiness. It was a good thing I'd worn baggy pants, because my cock was already growing just looking at her amazing little body.“How are you today, Snowbell?”“Wonderful, Santa, now that you're here. I was so worried you wouldn't come. I've missed you.”“Really?” I asked.“I had so much fun last time. I've told all the elves about it.”“Christmas crackers! You shouldn't have!” I snapped, even though I'd suspected as much.She put her delicate hands to her mouth, and her eyes filled with tears, “Oh… Santa… was I naughty?”Elves are ancient and wise, but quite emotional sometimes. I hated the look of despair on her face, so I put my hand on her little shoulder and said, “No, it's okay…I'm just… shy, I guess.”She smiled again, glad I wasn't angry. “Well, Santa, you have no reason to be shy. Elves aren't. We only wear clothes because you want us to. In our homes, we take everything off… well, not everything. Sometimes we like to wear things that make us look sexy.”“Really? I didn't know that.” I had to admit.“No, of course not Santa. You told us not to talk about those sorts of things thousands of years ago. You thought we were naughty.”“No, I'd never think elves are naughty.” I admitted.“Really? That's good to know.” She said, a mischievous gleam in her ancient elfin eyes.I crossed my legs to hide my growing erection and said, “I was actually afraid you'd think I was naughty after… you know.”“After you anointed me?” She giggled. “Don't be silly Santa! I've been anointed before. But that was the first time Santa anointed me! Everyone is so happy for me! Oh, you were so delicious! Yummy, yummy, yummy!”“I'm not the first?” I asked.“Of course not, silly! Elves anoint each other all the time!”“You… have sex too?”She laughed, “Of course, Santa! All kinds… all the time! We play every night after closing time in the little houses you made for us!” I'd always assumed those parties I heard were just… parties. But were they orgies? I've always considered elves pure goodness. If they had sex all the time… maybe having sex all the time was a good thing.She put her hands on my knee and leaned toward me, batting her elfin eyes, her breasts pushing up beautifully between her arms.“How do you like it?” she said, glancing down at her body.“You're beautiful, Snowbell.”She giggled, “Thank you Santa, but I didn't mean that. I meant what I'm wearing!” She spun in a little circle. “Mrs. Claus designed it.”“Is that… the new uniform?” I asked with a gulp.“No, not really. Mrs. Claus says there won't be uniforms anymore. She's designing a bunch of different things, shirts, robes, pants, and dresses. She says we get to wear whatever ones we want! I chose this one. It's my favorite. You can see my little nipples through it!” She giggled as if that was so funny. Elf humor, I guess. I heard a jingling and looked down to see single little bell hanging from a little strap around her waist. It was dangling right in front of her perfect vagina and ringing playfully as she laughed. She looked amazing but… was this the future? Would the factory be full of half-naked elves walking around looking like… this? I had to talk to Mary about this whole concept.Just then, Mary entered the test room. She was wearing red lingerie. Holy, Blitzen! I'd given it to her as a Christmas gift in 1872, but she'd never worn it before. Somehow seeing her in that skimpy red lace shift, beaded with pearls, made her look even more erotic to me than when she was totally naked. Maybe I just have this thing for red and white… but whatever it was, she looked utterly amazing. Then it got even better. She reached up and removed whatever it was that held her hair up in that abominable bun, and her long Christmas-red hair tumbled down her shoulders.I suddenly remembered why I fell in love with her.In the summer of 1702, I visited a remote Bavarian mountainside to collect the special syrup I'd been harvesting from the trees every year. I heard the beautiful echoing voice of someone singing a Christmas Carol. Lasst Uns Froh Und Munter Sein, to be precise (one of my favorites). I followed the sound and came across the most wonderful sight I'd ever seen. A pretty, redheaded Bavarian girl, standing with her back to me, a few feet out in the shallows of a clear mountain lake. She was wearing nothing but a loosely fitting red undergarment which the sun was shining through. I could see every detail of her silhouette: her long gorgeous legs, her curvaceous hips, and delicious buttocks. She'd already removed a big blowsy dress and had thrown it over a nearby stump. A moment after setting my eyes on her gorgeous figure, she reached up behind her head and undid her hair, with the intention of washing it. Her silken hair, which was the color of holly berries, cascaded down over her shoulders, like a red waterfall. I fell in love with her. Right there. Right then.I stepped on a twig and she turned with a start. Her eyes grew wide. She knew who I was the second she saw me. Everyone knows Saint Nicholas in Bavaria! She was so surprised and in awe of me, she didn't notice that the front of her undergarment was wide open, and I could see her beautiful breasts as plain as day, illuminated magically by sunlight reflecting off the surface of the lake. I gulped, my eyes riveted to her perfect tits. They were about the same size as her head and had large, fawn colored areolas decorated with tiny little nipples. As an added bonus, I could see the very top tuft of her beautiful red bush.Rip! My cock grew instantly hard, ripping upward through the leg of my pants, until it was pointed right at this lovely stranger. Her eyes opened even wider. That's not something you see every day. We just stared at each other for the longest time, not wanting this perfect moment to end.At just the right moment, I walked toward her, not bothering to cover my cock. She backed up a little almost slipping on a stone. She must have thought I was going to ravish her on the spot, but I wasn't that sort of man. I walked out into the shallow water, got down on one knee, and took her hands in mine.“Marry me,” I said.“Yes,” she replied.That's how we did it in the old days. None of this premarital sex stuff. You just saw a girl you fancied and you married her. Her parents were thrilled. Their last name was Christmas, which tells you that they were pretty big fans of yours truly. It just seemed like perfect symmetry that their daughter would grow up to marry Saint Nicholas.After the charming little wedding we boarded my sleigh. With the whole village cheering, we took off into the sky, heading north over the Bavarian Alps. Mary's long red hair was dancing about her head in the breeze. The little white flowers she'd braided in it were flying out, leaving a trail of petals falling earthward behind us. Her face was so happy, so young, so full of life. She excitedly asked me questions about the North Pole and insisted on calling me Saint Nicholas, even though I'd told her my real name was Kris Kringle. I didn't mind. It was charming. I felt a happy feeling that nothing in the world could buy.As we talked I grew more and more enchanted by her beautiful blushing face and flashing eyes. I had intended to bed her at the North Pole, but I couldn't wait any longer. The reindeer knew the way home, so I put down the reins and began to kiss Mary and touch her body, feeling the firmness of her large breasts for the first time. My cock was hard, but I'd strapped it down before the wedding, afraid it might misbehave during the ceremony. Mary ran her fingers along length of the hard log strapped to my thigh.“My… Saint Nicholas, how big you are!”“Would you like to see it… again?” I asked her, breathless with lust.“Yes, Saint Nicholas,” she said, shyly. She crouched in front of me, and pulled off my boots, carefully putting them aside. Then she unhooked my suspenders. Then she unbuttoned my pants, tense with anticipation, and pulled them down, followed by my red and green striped boxers. She stopped for a moment to stare at my enormous cock. The strap holding it down was digging into my thigh.“That looks painful!”“It is. Why don't you take it off for me?”She kneeled and breathlessly unhooked the leather strap, her fingers brushing against my naked flesh thrillingly. She had to pull hard to unhook the belt, and when she did my cock popped up and bonked her on the chin so hard that she said, “Ow!” and giggled.I chuckled along, but our laughter died out as she began to study my ruddy penis with intense interest. It was probably the first one she'd ever seen. She probably didn't know that it was unusually large, but she was impressed nonetheless. She began to touch it tenderly with her exquisite fingers. She ran her hands delicately around and around, then circling under my balls, and feeling the weight of them in her hands. I was utterly transfixed by the sensation! Then she bent over and kissed the head of my cock with her beautiful lips. I was so excited! No woman had ever seen it, much less kissed it! Then she opened her mouth as wide as she could and tried to swallow it. I'd heard lots of bawdy talk from lumberjacks and their trappers, so I knew all about blowjobs, but I'd never thought I'd be given one. She was a tall girl, very big boned, so she was able to get the head of my cock in her mouth, although it didn't go very far inside. She started stroking my shaft with her soft, large hands, lubricating everything with her saliva. As she did this, I took off my coat and shirt. I was in heaven.I felt a little surge of pre-cum shoot into her mouth. She looked at me in surprise. Then she suddenly stood up, her eyes wide with lust, and sat on the dashboard of the sleigh. She propped her feet on the seat on either side of me. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I just watched her, transfixed by the beautiful sight of her hair was whipping about her head as she stared at me, her face tense with excitement.“Father told me to make sure you see.” She pulled up her dress, slowly, revealing her beautiful, long, naked legs. Much to my delight, I discovered she wasn't wearing any underwear. I was looking right at her glorious pussy. She reached between her legs, and pulled the pussy lips open to show me she that she was still a virgin. I leaned forward, ostensibly to inspect her hymen, as the preacher had insisted I do, but the instant I got close enough I had the overwhelming urge to kiss her there. I ran my hands up her thighs to grab her naked ass in my eager hands and buried my mouth between her wet lips. I tasted her sweetness and breathed in her musky scent, my nose buried in her holly berry bush. She groaned in pleasure, shocked I think, at the sensations I was giving her. A delicious liquid began to ooze from the little hole in her hymen. I lapped it up with my tongue then played with the thin membrane of her hymen, knowing that soon it would exist no more.I sucked and kissed her virgin pussy, wanting to extend our innocence as long as possible. But, desperate with passion, she pushed me back, and kept pushing until we both stumbled and tumbled over the seat into the back of the sleigh. I landed on my back on my magic sack, which, though empty, did protect me from getting splinters. In a twinkling, Mary was straddling me, looking down with an almost crazy expression on her face. Then she lowered herself onto my cock in one swift move and cried out in pain as I pierced her hymen. We were no longer virgins.“Mary, are you alright?”“Mother said it would hurt at first,” she whimpered. She forced herself farther down on me, grimacing in pain… she was so damned tight! Then, when about a third of my manhood was inside her the tip pressed against the back wall of her vagina, making her yelp in pain again. She stood up and my cock popped out of her. She looked at me, her face almost frightened from the pain it had caused her.“Saint Nick… I knew you were large… but… Oh, my!”“Mary! You're bleeding!”She looked down at the trickle of blood running down her thigh. “Mother said I would bleed. It's nothing.” But I sat up and tenderly kissed her pussy, and wiped away the blood with a corner of my magic sack.“I'm so sorry I hurt you, Mary.”“No, we need to do this. Just… give me a second.” She made me lie back again, as she screwed up her courage. Then she lowered herself again onto my shaft. I was about four inches thick, and it took all her effort not to scream as I penetrated her. She was so tight around me, it felt like I was ripping her open. But I saw determination in her face. She began to go up and down on me, faster and with greater ease. Then the pain on her face turned to pleasure. She smiled a large beautiful smile and began to groan.“Oh… Saint Nick!!! Sing for me!”I was always happy to take requests, even while making love to my beautiful bride. I began to sing a traditional Bavarian sleighing song. I sang with gusto. I'm always the loudest one when the caroling begins! Oh, what fun it was to sing a sleighing song that night! Mary was riding herself up and down on me with more and more power, in tempo with my singing, making the bells on the side of the sleigh jingle with each thrust. Then she started singing along, laughing from time to time at the gleeful absurdity of it all. She was fucking Saint Nicholas in his sleigh, the Bavarian Alps towering all around!I stopped singing when a surge of intense pleasure hit me in the guts. I felt something powerful building up inside me, from the tips of my toes and the top of my head. And all of that power was surging down to my balls, then started galloping up my shaft to the tip. I bellowed with joy as I came inside my lovely bride. I hadn't had an orgasm since before I was transmogrified. I'd been required to swear an oath to be celibate until I was wed. I guess I had a bit of a backlog of cum from centuries of disuse, because it went on and on, gush after gush for at least two full minutes, until it was pouring out of her around my cock, and across my balls, and pooling up around my ass. She moaned in pleasure, having an orgasm just from the sensation of three quarts of cum shooting inside her. It was an absolutely amazing moment, made doubly wonderful because of the love I felt for this beautiful woman.As I watched Mary let down her hair in the test room, I thought…I don't love her anymore.It was a shock to realize it. But I don't think I'd loved her in ages. Oh, she was still a beautiful, sexy woman, and I was enjoying the sight of her smoking hot bod, but… I wasn't all that interested in fucking her any more.Snowbell, on the other hand… I looked at her and I felt a tingling in my heart and in my cock. Love. If only I weren't a married man… I opened my arms and said, “Come here Snowbell.”She happily hopped sideways into my lap, right on top of my growing erection, which made her giggle. I hugged her playfully and cuddled her up to my face, her cheek to mine. I loved the way her body wiggled as she giggled. I was trying to desexualize her by treating her like a pet. But it didn't work. I wanted Snowbell to touch my cock again… but I resisted the urge and put her on my left knee, away from my erection.“Let's just watch, Snowbell. Okay?”“Yes, Santa, I would love to watch with you!”We looked into the test room. Mary was waiting expectantly on the fluffy bed, looking at a door on the blank white wall. The door opened and a blonde woman walked in. What the…? I had no idea who she could be. The nearest arctic station was about twenty miles away. Besides, this woman was built like a porn star. Then I realized I was seeing the life-sized sex doll! It was freakishly realistic. It was a high quality sculpture of an actual porn star, cast out of silicone, with real human hair woven on its head and pussy. It had an articulated skeleton, and realistic, fuckable openings in the mouth, pussy and anus. Freaky. A group of scantily dressed female elves were standing on each other's shoulders, manipulating the doll like a puppet, so it appeared to be walking. The doll was platinum blonde, dressed in a flimsy pink negligee, and white fishnet hose held up by a garter. It had bigger boobs than Mary. Obscenely large in fact. Its face was blank and its blue eyes empty of life. But when it moved… it came to life… it became a ‘she'. Elves are natural puppeteers.It was probably the weirdest thing I've ever seen, and it just got weirder.Mary looked at… I'll call her Dolly… appraisingly, as if deciding how best to use her. She reached out and squeezed Dolly's breasts with her hands. One of the elves giggled, and I realized she was voicing the part of Dolly. Mary smiled shyly, looking coquettishly at Dolly's eyes.“You have very pretty breasts,” said Mary, somewhat awkwardly.“So do you,” said Dolly, as she reached out to touch Mary's breasts. Mary arched her back lustfully, and pulled the front of her shift down, exposing her beautiful mammaries to Dolly's hands. Tinsel, a beautiful blue elf, stood between Mary and Dolly, and reached up past Dolly's inanimate hands to do the touching for her. Tinsel's long delicate blue fingers fondled Mary's perfect breasts, pinching her nipples.At the same time Mary squeezed and pinched Dolly's breasts and the elves groaned, “Oh, Mrs. Claus, that feels so good.”This went on for a while, the two of them… or the three of them, touching each other all over. I thought Dolly was creepy, but it was wonderful to see Tinsel's blue hands fondling Mary's breasts and ass. It was naughty… but utterly erotic.I felt Snowbell's hand starting to stroke my erection through the velvet.“Let's just watch, Snowbell.”“Okay,” she sing-songed, taking her hand away. But a minute later her hand was touching my erection again. That was odd. Usually you told an elf to do something and they did it. You never had to tell them twice. Never. But she was deliberately disobeying my orders. Still… it felt good… and it wasn't really like we were having sex… or so I told myself. So I let her continue.Mary kissed Dolly on the lips. Passionately! I felt a little surge of jealousy. Mary hadn't kissed me with that much passion in an elf's age. But she was kissing a hunk of petroleum byproducts like it were George Clooney!“If you want to masturbate, Santa, I won't mind,” said Snowbell, hugging me sweetly.“Well… Why not? Just… don't touch me there, please, Snowbell.”“Oh? You liked the way I touched you there before.”“I'm married. It's naughty for me to… to have sexual relations with anyone other than Mrs. Claus.”She laughed, “Oh, yes, I read about that silly custom on the human internet. I didn't know that rule applied to demigods!”Actually… I didn't know either. I had just sort of assumed it. I was born a human, so I'd always figured the same rules applied to me even after I was transmogrified. “Just, please Snowbell. I'm trying to be good.”“I understand, Santa. I won't touch.”I took out my cock, and Snowbell reached between her legs and offered me a dewdrop of her magical juices. I thought I probably shouldn't… but I took it, remembering how wonderfully tingly it felt. I broke the delicate drop open against my cock and spread Snowbell's pussy juice all over. Oh, elf magic… Um. I masturbated slowly, sensuously, as I watched my beautiful wife have sex with a rubber doll.Mary tried various things with Dolly… weird approximations of lovemaking. It was strange seeing her attempting to have sex with a woman. I knew some of the sample sex toys were strap-on dildos, so I wondered why she didn't just strap one of them onto Dolly. But I soon found out. Mary got on her knees, put her head between Dolly's legs and licked and sucked her silicone vagina, either enjoying it or pretending to, while the elves made Dolly appear to writhe and moan in pleasure. Dolly pulled at Mary's hair, and Mary responded by driving her tongue insistently into Dolly's plastic pussy. Mary reached between her own legs and began fingering herself with her ass aimed right at me. Oh, Mary… my heart ached for the past, when she'd wanted me to touch her there. It was an exciting sight to masturbate to, but angering as well, because I knew that Mary wouldn't let me touch her pussy with a ten-foot pole. She'd reduced me to this pathetic voyeurism.Then Mary lay on her back, and now Dolly crawled to the floor and pushed Mary's legs wide. Tinsel crawled under Dolly's head and put her elfin mouth on Mary's vagina. I felt a surge of anger. Why does an elf get to do that but not me? Then I berated myself. What did I care? I didn't really want to do that stuff to Mary anymore. I just wanted her to want me to.But then I started wondering… these tests had been going on all week… had Mary been having sex with her elves all that time? I'd sort of assumed she was as ashamed as I was about what happened. And whenever I did see her, she and her elves seemed to be all business. This was supposed to be research testing, but this had nothing to do with a sex toy! It's not like the women receiving these presents would have a bevy of little elfin beauties eat out their pussies. It was as plain as the elf in Mary's pussy… she was cheating on me!! Sure, I did it one time with Snowbell, but Mary had been doing it all week, who knows how many times?! I was furious! I imagined myself breaking through the window, throwing Dolly and the elves aside and ramming my huge cock inside Mary's inconstant pussy and fucking her, in spite of her protests, shouting, “Kris Kringle calls the shots around here!!!”But of course, I'd never do that kind of thing, and the anger began to dissipate. I noticed Snowbell was staring hungrily at my cock as I stroked it. She was still perched on the edge of my thigh with my left arm around her back, but now her legs were open and she was quietly playing with her perfect little pussy, sinking her long willowy fingers deep inside herself, while fingering her clit with the other hand. I itched to reach around her back and cup her little round breast in my hand. But I refused to betray Mary even though I was watching her betray me with Dolly and Tinsel right now.Mary was moaning with pleasure. I noticed now that Tinsel had a long tongue; probably six inches long. It was pale blue and agile, like a Giraffe's tongue, and whenever Tinsel went deep inside, Mary would grab Dolly's hair and shout in joy. I vaguely remembered seeing a long elf tongue centuries ago. It had grossed me out so much that I told the elves to keep their tongues in their mouths when they were in the factory, and they'd happily obliged. But now I could see Tinsel putting that long tongue to good use, probing Mary's vagina, feeling out places a cock or finger could never reach. Mary was writhing in ecstasy, and I was jerking myself off like there was no tomorrow. Tinsel was on her knees, and another elf, Greentree, reached over and lifted the back of Tinsel's robe and sunk her fingers into Tinsel's shimmering pussy. Fuck, that was hot! I felt my balls tingling. Then I noticed it was Snowbell's foot. She'd bent it back and was now tickling my balls with her long, agile toes as she masturbated herself!I wanted to tell her to stop… but I didn't. I looked down at her beautiful aqua body, which was flickering with pale magenta flashes in her glittery skin. She was fingering herself and her little baseball sized breasts were bouncing around under the flimsy teddy. I didn't know where to look… at Greentree touching Tinsel's pussy, or Tinsel going down on Mary's pussy, or Snowbell fingering her own. I felt a surge that told me I was going to come any second now… but I stopped rubbing my cock just in time to stop my orgasm.“Are you okay, Santa?” asked snowbell.“I'm okay… just trying not to… you know.”“Oh, good idea, Santa. You should never waste it unless you plan to anoint someone. You can anoint me, if you like.”She was looking up at me, four long fingers inside her vagina, smiling, hoping I would say yes. The bell between her legs was jingling like crazy as she finger-fucked herself. Our eyes were locked when she came, emitting a high pitched squeal of pleasure. It was like looking into eternity; she was so ancient, yet so pure and full of love. When she came, her toes squeezed my balls in a powerful reflex. It's a good thing I'm Santa, or it could have hurt me. But my balls aren't delicate little Christmas ornaments.Snowbell, humming in pleasure after her orgasm had passed, reached over casually and wrapped her hand around my naked cock and began to stroke me with her juice-covered fingers. It felt so good… but I needed to stop her! Whatever else may happen, I didn't want Mary to ever find out I had cheated on her.But then… I began to wonder again why Snowbell had disobeyed my orders not to touch me. With a sudden flash of realization, I remembered that she wasn't my elf. She was Mary's elf. Duh! No wonder she wasn't following my orders!I took her hand off my cock and calmly asked her, “Did you tell Mrs. Claus what you and I did the other day.”Snowbell, still in a post orgasmic state, answered woozily, “Oh yes, Santa. I tell the mistress everything.”I should have known… but Mary hadn't shown any sign of anger at all! Actually she'd been more pleasant to me lately than she'd been in years.Snowbell continued, “She told me to make you happy, Santa. I was happy to do it. I love Santa. His cum tastes like nutmeg!”So… it was Mary's idea for Snowbell to… what? Seduce me? Why? Then I knew why. It was so I wouldn't complain about what she was doing right now. If I could cheat, so could she!Mary's moans of pleasure developed into a powerful orgasm, even more insistent and amazing than any of the previous ones. Tinsel's long tongue was really going to town on Mary's pussy now. Dolly was reaching up, and the elves were pinching and twisting Mary's tits for Dolly.Strangely, I didn't feel mad. Because, it was obvious… Mary didn't love me either.To be continued..By cb summers for Literotica

Grab your hot chocolate (or mulled wine!) and get into the festive spirit with our Christmas special as we meet some reindeer, talk Christmas trees and explore a small but mighty wood with huge value for nature in the snowy Cairngorms National Park. We discover fascinating reindeer facts with Tilly and friends at The Cairngorm Reindeer Centre, and step into a winter wonderland at nearby Glencharnoch Wood with site manager Ross. We learn what makes a good Christmas tree, how the wood is helping to recover the old Caledonian pine forest of Scotland, why the site is so important to the community and which wildlife thrive here. You can also find out which tree can effectively clone itself, and is so tasty to insects that it developed the ability to shake them off! Don't forget to rate us and subscribe! Learn more about the Woodland Trust at woodlandtrust.org.uk Transcript You are listening to Woodland Walks, a podcast for the Woodland Trust presented by Adam Shaw. We protect and plant trees for people to enjoy, to fight climate change and to help wildlife thrive.  Adam: Well, today I'm in the Cairngorms in Scotland. In Scottish Gaelic, the area is called – I'm going to give this a go - Am Monadh Ruadh. Apologies for my pronunciation there, but we are in the midst of a mountain range in the Highlands, of Scotland obviously. Generally we're about 1,000 metres high here but the higher peaks I'm told get to about 1,300 metres odd, which is going on for, I don't know, 4,500 foot or so. So this is a very dramatic landscape. We have rocky outcrops, boulders, steep cliffs. It's home to bird species such as the dotterel, snow bunting, the curlew and red grouse, as well as mammals such as mountain hare. But the reason of course we are here this Christmas is because it is also home to Britain's only herd, I think, of reindeer. Now, the reindeer herder is Tilly. She is the expert here and I've been braving, I am braving the snow and icy winds to be introduced to her and the herd. And from there after that, we're going to take a drive to what I'm told is an amazing wooded landscape of Caledonian pine to talk all things pine, and of course, all things Christmas trees. But first of all, let's meet Tilly, who looks after the reindeer.  Adam: OK, we are recording.  Tilly: That's good. OK. I'd better not say anything naughty then.  Adam: I'll cut out any naughtiness, that's fine.  Tilly: This is a bit of a rustly bag. It's more rustly than normal but never mind.  Adam: What do the reindeer actually eat?  Tilly: Well, so. We're now up in their natural habitat and we're looking across a nice heathery hillside with sedges as well. You can just see them poking through the snow and they'll pick away at the old heather of the year and the sedges.  Adam: Right.  Tilly: But we manage the herd and we like to feed them. So what I've got in my bag is some food for them, which they love.  Adam: Right. And what's in your Santa sack of food now?   Tilly: Oh, that's a secret.   Adam: Oh, you can't tell me. Oh, God.  Tilly: No, no. I can tell you. So it's a cereal mix and there is something similar to what you would feed sheep. Bit of barley, bit of sheep mix.  Adam: That's awesome. So not mince pies and carrots? That's only reserved for Christmas Eve. That's probably not very good for them, I would have thought.  Tilly: Yeah, no, I hate to say this, but reindeer don't actually eat carrots.  Adam: Oh right okay, well, that's good to know.  Tilly: But if ever children bring carrots for them, I never turn them away because we're very good at making carrot soup and carrot cake.  Adam: Santa's helpers get the carrots.  Tilly: And I'm absolutely certain that Santa eats all the mince pies, so all good. So anyway, come on through here. We're going now into a 1000-acre enclosure. It just hooks on there, that's perfect, it goes right across. We could actually once we get close to these visitors are coming off from a hill visit this morning. So you'll be pleased to hear that I am the boss. I'm Mrs. boss man and I've been with the reindeer for 43 years. Now, their lifespan is sort of 12 to 15 years, so I've gone through many generations. I've known many lovely reindeer and there's always a favourite and you would have seen some real characters there today. And you couldn't see them in better conditions. Anyway, do get yourself down and warm yourselves up. Oh, you've done very well to bring a little one like that today.  Walker: He did pretty well until now!  Tilly: You've done extremely well. Of course they have. He's got very red, a bit like Rudolph. The thing is there's just that wind, and it's the wind that drops the temperature, that chill factor.  Adam: Yeah. So where are we going, Tilly?  Tilly: So we're heading out towards what we call Silver Mount. They're not in here all year. Different times of year, sometimes they're all free range, some of them are free ranging, some are in here.  Adam: When you speak about free range, literally they can go anywhere?  Tilly: Yes they can.  Adam: And they come back because they know where the food is?  Tilly: Yes they do. They know where the food is, they sort of know where the home is, but they do wander out onto the high ground as well, more in the summertime.   Adam: Right. And is that, I mean Scotland has different rules. There's a right to roam sort of rule here. Does that apply to reindeer? Is that the issue?  Tilly: That is a moot point.  Adam: Oh, really? We've hardly started and I've got into trouble.   Tilly: No. Well, we lease 6000 acres, right? So we lease everything out to the skyline.  Adam: So that's an extraordinary range for them.  Tilly: It is an extraordinary range, but they know no bounds. I have to say reindeer sometimes do just pop over the boundary.  Adam: And that causes problems with the neighbours?  Tilly: Well, some like it, some aren't so keen. And we herd them as well, so we can herd them home. And we herd them by calling them.  Adam: I was going to say, do you have a skidoo, or?  Tilly: No, no. Absolutely no vehicular access on the hill. It's all by Shanks's pony, everywhere.  Adam: Really. So you walk, and then you just ring a bell to herd them, or what do you do?  Tilly: And you ‘loooooow, come on now!' and they come to us.  Adam: Right. And so what was the call again?  Tilly: ‘Looow, come on now!'  Adam: Come on now, is that it? OK, very good. OK, I now move.  Tilly: Yes. But hopefully they won't all come rushing from over there.  Adam: I was going to say, yes, we've now called out the reindeer.  Tilly: We've just joined a cow and calf here, who have just come down to the gate, and you can see just for yourself, they're completely benign. They're so docile and quiet. There's no sort of kicking or pushing or anything. They're very, very gentle creatures.  Adam: And is that because they've been acclimatised because tourists come, or would that be their natural behaviour?  Tilly: It is their natural behaviour, bearing in mind that reindeer have been domesticated for thousands of years. We're not looking at a wild animal here that's got tame. We're looking at a domesticated animal.  Adam: Right.  Tilly: It's probably more used to people than some of the reindeer up in the Arctic. So we have domestication embedded in their genetics.  Adam: So what we're saying is, genetically, they're actually more docile. It's not because this particular reindeer is used to us. But originally then, if one goes back far enough, they were wilder?  Tilly: Yes so, it's a really interesting process of domestication of reindeer, which happened in the Old World, so Russia, Scandinavia, inner Mongolia, outer Mongolia. And that is reindeer and many, many reindeer in these Arctic areas, are domesticated. They're not wild.  Adam: And that started happening, do we have an idea when?  Tilly: Probably about 10,000 years ago. But if you go to the New World, to Alaska and North Canada, exactly the same animal is called a caribou. Caribou are never domesticated. The indigenous people of these areas never embraced the herding and enclosing of reindeer, which was caribou, whereas in the Old World it became very, very important to the men, the people's survival.  Adam: And then the caribou, do they have a different character?   Tilly: Yes, they're wilder. And it's a little bit difficult to show today – you see quite strong colour variation in reindeer, which you don't see in caribou, and colour variation is man's influence on selecting for colour. So you'd get very light coloured ones, you'd get white ones in reindeer, you'd get very dark ones, but in caribou they're all the same, brownie-grey colour. Yeah, they felt that the white reindeer were important in the herd for whatever reasons, Germanic reasons or whatever. Interestingly, the Sámi - and I'm not sure if there could be a white one up in the herd here at the moment - describe them as lazy reindeer, the white ones.  Adam: Why?  Tilly: Well, I didn't know why until I worked out why white reindeer are often deaf. So they sleep, they don't get up when everybody else gets up and moves, and this white reindeer doesn't realise that the herd has left them. So they're not all deaf, but certain white ones are.  Adam: Very important question, obvious but I didn't ask it to begin with because I'm a fool. Why are reindeer connected to Christmas?  Tilly: Well, that's a really good question, because actually they think it stems from a poet called Clement C Moore, who wrote a poem in America, he had Scandinavian Germanic connections, called The Night Before Christmas, where Donder, Blitzen, Cupid, Comet, fly through the air with Saint Nick in the sleigh, the little Santa.  Adam: Yeah.  Tilly: But, so that really set the scene of eight reindeer and the sleigh, and that was based on the Norwegian God Odin, who had eight legs and strode through the sky with these eight legs and eight reindeer. Then we have Rudolph, who turns up, but he doesn't turn up until the time of prohibition in America.  Adam: So Rudolph isn't in the original poem?  Tilly: Absolutely not. Rudolph is an impostor.  Adam: I didn't know that!  Tilly: He, so he, it was a marketing exercise for a department store during alcohol prohibition. And it was Rudolph with his red nose, and his red nose is because of alcohol.  Adam: Because he drank too much? So was it in favour of alcohol or was it going ‘what terrible thing happens to you when you drink'?  Tilly: I'm not terribly sure. But anyway, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was the song, so that adds to it. And then along comes Coca-Cola who used a red and white Santa to promote Coca-Cola at Christmas time. So the red and white Santa is Coca-Cola.  Adam: Right. And the red-nose reindeer is from alcohol and reindeer comes from an actual American poem, of which Rudolph wasn't part of anyway. That's all simple to understand then!  Tilly: Exactly. Perfect.  Adam: Well, we're moving up to some of the more exposed slopes. Tilly has gone ahead. I'm just going to catch up back with her, and ask how she started as one of UK's first reindeer herders. Well, certainly, one of our few reindeer experts.  Tilly: I came up to volunteer and I met the keeper who was looking after the reindeer for Dr Lindgren, who was the lady who brought them in with her husband, Mr Utsi, and he was quite good looking.   Adam: Is this a revelation you wish to make to them?  Tilly: And the reindeer were endearing, and the mountains were superb, and so I married the keeper.  Adam: Right, you did marry him! I thought you were telling me about another man other than your husband.  Tilly: So I married Alan. We married in 1983 and I've been here ever since.  Adam: And so the purpose of having reindeer here originally was what?  Tilly: Ah, good question. Mr Utsi came here and was very taken by the landscape and the environment, the habitat, because it was so similar to his own home country of north Sweden. And he begged the question where are the reindeer? Why are there not reindeer here? And it was on that notion that he and his wife, Dr Lindgren, devoted the latter half of their lives to bringing reindeer back to Scotland.  Adam: So that's interesting. So, it raises the difference of ecological or sort of natural question, of whether these are indigenous animals.  Tilly: Yes. So it's an interesting idea. Certainly, the habitat's available for them and they live in their natural environment. But when they became extinct, or not extinct, but when they weren't in Scotland, some people say as recently as 600 years ago and some people say as long as 2,000 years ago. If it's 2,000 years ago, they're described as a past native.  Adam: So OK, I didn't realise that, but is there any debate around whether they were originally - whatever originally is –  Tilly: They were definitely here.  Adam: So they are native? They're not sort of imported, they have died out and been brought back here.  Tilly: Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, they were reintroduced, but how, what that time span is, some people say sooner than later, and Mr Utsi certainly identified this as a very suitable spot for them.  Adam: Any idea why they might have died out? Do we know?  Tilly: Probably a bit of climate change and also probably hunting. Very easy animal to hunt. Are you OK with this chitter chatter going on?  Adam: Yes, it's all good, and a bit of, do you call it mooing?   Tilly: Oh no, the reindeer aren't making any noise, they're clicking.  Adam: Someone was mooing!  Tilly : I think it was the people.  Adam: I thought it was the reindeer making that noise.   Tilly: Not at all. They're very silent.   Adam: They'd have left this podcast thinking reindeer moo.  Tilly: They would have. Exactly. No, they are really, really silent animals.  Adam: There's a very large reindeer there coming down the road.  Tilly: Oh, that's OK, that's Akubra, he'll do nothing to you at all. He's an absolute genuine reindeer. He's lovely. But he listened to the clicking as they walk. You can't hear it because of your headphones.  Adam: OK, so I guess later on I'll put a microphone on a reindeer. That will be a first. One other thing I always imagined when you saw a set of antlers on a sort of grand Scottish mansion, I thought, oh well, they've killed that the reindeer. And actually, that's not true, is it? They fall off.  Tilly: They do. You're absolutely right. Having it depends how you see the antlers. If the antlers are still on a skull, that animal has been killed and there's nothing wrong with that. There is a, you know, the animals need to be controlled. But you're also right. Antlers are lost every year and regrown again, so they cast their antlers and they regrow their antlers. So in a reindeer's life, if a reindeer is 10 years old, he will have just grown his 11th set of antlers.  Adam: And the purpose of antlers is fighting? I'm a big girl, I'm a big boy, whatever.   Tilly: Yeah, mainly for fighting, a weapon. So for the big breeding males, it's for claiming harem for females, so in the breeding season. And those big breeding bulls will actually lose their antlers around about now, their antlers will fall off and then they won't regrow their antlers until next spring, right? The females, little females like this, keep those boney antlers all winter and they use them for competing for food, so they can jab another reindeer and push it off and they can get into the food as a result.   Adam: The other thing I can notice about some of them, but not the reindeer in front of us, but I think the one walking away, although this looks very bony, the other one has sort of felt on it, and what looks like blood. So what's going on there?  Tilly: Yes. So they are the velvet antlers on the Christmas reindeer that have finished growing, but they don't lose the velvet properly and there is still potentially blood in the bone, as it were.  Adam: So there's this sort of capillary underneath the felt.  Tilly: Yes, exactly, because the antler's a really interesting appendage because it grows from the tip. It doesn't grow from the base, so the blood supply has to go all the way to the tip to grow. And the velvet skin carries that blood supply.  Adam: Right. I see. So now the reindeer in front of us has no velvet so that can't grow.  Tilly: And no blood supply. Exactly. And the only way she can grow, get more antlers or bigger antlers, is to lose the whole thing and grow it again next year. Yes.  Adam: So any other serious facts we should note, to inform ourselves about reindeer?  Tilly: Oh, lots of serious facts. So they're the only deer species where the males and the females grow antlers. Every other deer species, it's only the males that grow the antlers. They are the only deer species that's been domesticated by man. All the other species of deer, we're talking about 40 different species, are all truly wild animals. They can survive in the coldest parts of the world, so in the middle of Siberia, the temperature can go down to -72 and reindeer are still living there quite happily.  Adam: It's cold today, but it's probably -2 or something.  Tilly: Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Man cannot live in the Arctic without an animal to live by, and it's reindeer that he lives by. Man would never have gone into these areas. Obviously now they're all digging up, you know, getting the oil and the gas and everything. But indigenous man can only survive in these areas if he has reindeer as his farm animal of the north, so they're really important to the indigenous people of the north.  Adam: And in that sort of role, then, you can clearly eat reindeer. Then what else does it provide us?  Tilly: Absolutely. So it provides with meat. There are indigenous people that milk them in season. They have these tremendous coats that are used for covering tents and for people's, you know, clothing. And the antlers? Not now, but the antlers would have been used as tools in the past.  Adam: And have you ever had reindeer milk?  Tilly: I have tried, yes, we have milked the odd reindeer for one reason or another. It's very rich, very rich.  Adam: You have! Rich, is that good or quite fatty? Is it drinkable?  Tilly: That's good. Yeah, it's totally drinkable. Totally nice.  Adam: Yeah, I think yaks or a drink made from yaks, which was disgusting, I found in Mongolia, but I really found it difficult. It wasn't my thing.  Tilly: But it wasn't the fermented one, was it? Because in Mongolia they're into fermented mare's milk.   Adam: That might be what I had.  Tilly: And that is revolting.   Adam: Yes, OK, that's maybe what I had. How unusual is reindeer milk then?  Tilly: Yeah. It's got a very high fat content. They produce very little milk, because if you had a great big swinging under in in freezing conditions, you'd have ice cream, you wouldn't have milk.  Adam: The other thing I noticed that we haven't talked about is their hooves which look quite large and they look, I mean just from a distance, quite mobile.  Tilly: Yes. They are very, very, very flexible animals and their feet, their hooves are very big. Of course, for snow. Walking on the snow, spreading the weight, but also great shovels for digging. So they dig. You know, if you're in two feet, three feet of snow in north Sweden, you've got to get to the food underneath and to get to it, they need to dig. So they're great diggers.  Adam: And your life now here. It's quite a change from where you grew up, I appreciate.  Tilly: Certain years, a very rural life I had then. I have an equally country-wise life now. I will go to my grave with reindeer. They are my complete nutter passion. They are the most wonderful animals to be amongst, they put a smile on your face. They live in a beautiful area. They're just, they're just lovely animals and they give me a lot of pleasure. Yeah, yeah.  Adam: Fantastic. And if people are in the Cairngorms and want to have their own trip to see the reindeer, they call the what?  Tilly: They call the Cairngorm Reindeer Centre. You could do it on the website, you can ring us up and they need to dress up. I'm sure you appreciate you, are your feet cold yet?  Adam: No, look, I stopped off and bought extra thermals on my way.  Tilly: Very good.  Adam: Well, thank you very much. It's been a real treat, thank you very much.  Tilly: Brilliant. Oh, well, thank you for coming.  Adam: Well, I'm afraid I'm having to leave the reindeer behind because we're now heading to a little lower ground to see what I'm told is an amazing forest of Caledonian pine. And to learn a bit more about the trees and their relative, the other pine, which we all know as the Christmas tree. And we're off to meet a guy who looks after the Glencharnoch Wood in Carrbridge, near the River Spey and Dulnain. And now, despite it, it's a quite a small forest, I think. But despite that, it's quite well known for being really important, really big on biodiversity. And it's home to a number of species including, but not just them, but including the red squirrel and the crested tit.  Ross: My name's Ross Watson. I'm the site manager for North Scotland for the Woodland Trust.  Adam: Brilliant. Ross, we have come on an extraordinary day. It has snowed. It looks picturesque, chocolate box, shortbread box maybe, type stuff, so fantastic. So just tell me where we are.  Ross: Well, we're in Glencharnoch wood. It's a wood that the Woodland Trust owns and it's part of a series of little woodlands on the back of Carrbridge between Carrbridge and the railway. And the Woodland Trust has had it for a number of years. It's a little site, only 36 acres, but it's a pine wood site and a really important pine wood site at that, in that it's a small part of much bigger Caledonian forests.  Adam: OK. Well, I want to talk to you about pine wood, because I think it just sort of gets dismissed – ‘oh this pine wood, not important, not interesting'. Apart from Christmas, perhaps, when suddenly it becomes really important, but I want to unpack all of that with you, but just explain to you we're going to go on a little walk. Hopefully you know where you're going. Good. All right, so just explain a bit about where we're going, give me a sense of the pattern of where we're going.  Ross: Absolutely. We're going to take a circular walk around the woodlands. The woodlands here, it's all about community. Everything we do here is around that tree. We're going to walk through a piece of land that's owned by the local authority and then go through our own land and onto privately owned land and then come back to our own land. And it really shows the connectivity of all these different habitats, all the different landowners. But really the path network is there for the community that's here and they are involved in practice as well.  Adam: So. Pine wood. Yeah, it sort of gets bunched all together, and especially the Scots pine I hear a lot about. But there are there are big, big differences and varieties are there? Tell me a bit about them.  Ross: The Scots pine we are walking through are really special species. That's the only native conifer in the UK, right? And that's why they're so special here. Really these Scots pine provide their own habitat all of their own. They're incredibly threatened. As a habitat in Scotland, we've got just a number of Caledonian pine inventory sites. We've got ancient woodlands, designated sites.  Adam: Sorry, just to stop you - Caledonian pine, Scots pine, interchangeable words?  Ross: Yeah, good point. The Great Wood of Caledon was the reference of the name of the forest that was here, the old, the original boreal forest that gradually reduced in size. Partly through climate change as the country became cooler and wetter, but also through human intervention through felling, fires, grazing, all that kind of thing. So now we tend to talk about Scots pine and Cally pine which can be fairly interchangeable, but the Cally pine tends to be the bigger, grander kind of granny pines, these really lovely old things you see in some of the landscapes.  Adam: But that's sort of just the way people use the word. Technically, they're the same thing, but we refer to the Caledonian pine as the big grand ones, and it comes from… so I just want to make sure I understood what you said. The word Caledonian pine then comes from a Caledonian, a forest called Caledonia?   Ross: Yeah, the Great Wood of Caledon.   Adam: Isn't that a brilliant name? So mystical and it sort of talks of Tolkien and other worlds. Wow, wow. OK. So we have the great Scots pine, the Caledonian pine. If people have a general thing in their mind about pine trees, what is special about Caledonian pine? How that distinguishes from pines in other parts of the world.  Ross: Well, Scots pine, as we're walking through this woodland, just now as you look up the trunks of the trees, as you look up the bark tends to go from a kind of grey-brown to a real kind of russety red, like a red squirrel colour. And that's a lot of the red squirrel camouflage comes from that, that rusty colour. So they're skittering around these treetops and they can be jumping around and they're nice and camouflaged because of that colour. So is that redness that you really see? But what we can see in here, a lot of these trees are very even age, it has been quite heavily thinned in the past, but then you come across a tree like this that's got a very deep crown. So you see there's live branches more than halfway down that tree, whereas there's a lot of these other trees -  Adam: Yes, I was going to say it's weird that they've got no foliage until very high.  Ross: Yeah, so this tree here, and foresters may call this a wolf tree, a tree that has occupied a space and it's just sat there and doesn't allow anything around it.   Adam: It's called a wolf tree?  Ross: Some people would refer to it as a wolf tree. What we would refer to that is it's a deep crown tree, not very imaginatively named, but a deep crown tree is really important here because of capercaillie. Now, capercaillie, you imagine a capercaillie's a big bird, a turkey-sized bird, almost waist height, a male capercaillie. And in the winter it will walk out across these branches and it will nibble away at some of the needles, and it will sit there and it will rely on that during deep snow for shelter, security, food. So without these deep crown trees, there isn't anywhere for them to go. So if you imagine a plantation, a very dense pine that are much denser than this and they don't have the chance for any deep crown trees. Then the opportunity for capercaillie here is much reduced.  Adam: Right. So there's sort of, I mean, look the elephant in the room. Well, it's Christmas around the corner. People have Christmas trees. Sort of most people know anything about pine, it's because they have it in their house at Christmas. That's not a Scots pine.  Ross: No, your traditional Christmas tree is a Nordmann fir. A fir tree tends to hold onto needles a little longer than a pine tree. And if you look after the pine, it will retain its needles, but quite often the pine trees will grow slightly too quickly, so it'll be a bit bare as a Christmas tree, whereas a fir tree is kind of hairy enough to be a good Christmas tree.  Adam: Right. And do we have, do we have them planted in the UK as well? I mean just for commercial cropping?  Ross: Yes, as a Christmas tree.  Adam: Right. So the other thing, look, we're in a really lovely forest at the moment. We're the only ones here. But Scotland, the iconic pictures of Scotland, are bare, bare mountains, aren't they? They're not wooded, and yet I've always read that that's not how it used to be. It used to be a wooded part of the country. Why did it lose so much of its woodland?  Ross: Well, it's looking back to, what, centuries ago as the climate became cooler and wetter, the tree line reduced in height. But more recently in the 1800s the Cultural Revolution created huge periods of felling where they needed this timber for industrialization. Trees from the woodlands near here were cut down, they were floated down to the river Spey and then out to Spey Bay and the Moray coast. They were used for underground water piping for ship's masts. Because these trees are, as you can feel today it's a cold place to be, they've grown very slowly. So because they're nice and straight as we can see, they are, the rings are very close together, so they're very sturdy. They're an ideal timber source. But then we start to look at deer numbers increasing and sheep numbers increasing. The more mouths on the hill meant that once you cut these trees down, it was much harder for the trees to come away again. And really, that's the landscape we're in now really. And when we're talking about those very large, deep crowned trees on open hillsides, these kind of granny pines are so picturesque, and really a lot of these trees, there was no timber value in them because they were already so crooked and they were left, and this is almost a remnant that's showcasing the old forest that once was standing there.  Adam: A lot of times, site managers, they're trying to keep things steady in a way, I suppose. Just trying to maintain what's going, keep that going, that's hard enough. Is that the job here or do you have bigger plans? Are there, you know, times are changing?  Ross: Well, this is one of eight woodlands I look after across the north of Scotland. Whenever we're doing anything, no matter what the scale of it, it's not just how do we keep the site going and kind of steady. It's about when we are doing work, how do we add value to that to make it better for the people that are living here? And how do we use that to continue to showcase these sites as the shop window for the Woodland Trust?  Adam: And is the idea here to try and remove the non-Scots pine, so you'd have a pure Scots pine forest?  Ross: Well, the Woodland Trust works on a on a threat basis really. So any tree is better than no tree, right? But if you have got a lot of spruce regeneration that's threatening this ancient wood then we need to begin to remove that. And that's been the case here.  Adam: Sorry I'm pausing because there's a lovely spaniel who I can see wants me to throw a stick, but I won't throw the stick. Very cool dog. There we are. Sorry, we were saying yes, so any tree is better than no tree. But are the other trees a threat then or not?  Ross: Well, the Norway spruce here has been seeding regeneration into the woodland areas and over the last few years we've cleared a lot of that and in some of these nice young spruce, we've been able to provide to the community for Christmas trees, which has been really handy. But all of that is gone now and we're left with this core of, of mature Norway spruce, that a number of them have started to snap so are becoming a safety issue for members of the public using footpaths next to it. But also there's an opportunity there where before that timber dies, we can extract it and it can be useful for the community.  Adam: And you'd replace it with Scots pines.  Ross: No, we're going to replace it predominantly with hazel and aspen. Because one of the slight concerns in having a single species stand, like we have here, where it's all Scots pine, is that there's only one species for the likes of red squirrels or the crossbills. And on a day like today we might hear crossbows coming over. There's only one species here for them, whereas if we're planting hazel, which is under-represented species here, that provides a different food for red squirrels in a different part of the woodland. And aspen is one of the most biodiverse species that we would have in this part of the world. And there are very, very few aspen.  Adam: When you say it's the most biodiverse species, you mean it attracts biodiversity?  Ross: Absolutely yes. In terms of the lower plant assemblage that's on there specifically and insects. And aspen, their Latin name is Populus tremula and the tremula comes from the oval shape on the leaf. Just in the slightest breeze, it's adapted that to try and shake off the insect burden because the leaves are so palatable for insects.  Adam: So the shape of the leaf in wind -  Ross: The shape of this stock of the leaf is oval.  Adam: And that helps shift any insects.   Ross: Yeah, yeah.   Adam: It's interesting because aspen, in my ignorance, I associate with aspen in America, but it's a native UK tree.  Ross: It is, yeah. And it will be one of the first colonisers after the Ice Age. That's, an aspen will have, the seed will have blown down as the ice is receding. But some of the aspen that are here now will be some of the oldest trees that exist in the UK and aspen generally now grows rhizomatously, so you'll see the roots through the forest and all of the suckers will pop out. And the aspen that we can see in the woodland today, they could have been here for hundreds, maybe thousands of years, and they've just, as the clone has marched through the landscape, it's just it's moved and colonised these different areas. They're fascinating trees. So when you look at some of the images in North America, you might see entire hillsides of aspen and that could all be the same tree essentially, they're amazing organisms.  Adam: That's amazing. So it's sort of cloning really.   Ross: Yeah, absolutely.  Adam: That's amazing. And also I can see right on the Scots pine behind you, beautiful lichen, which is just a real sign of the air quality here, isn't it? I mean, it doesn't grow and it's just often further south. We do see lichen, obviously, but often I see a bit. This is everywhere. It's a real sign this is good land.  Ross: Absolutely, yeah.  Adam: Good land, good air. Wonderful. Well, I'm going to take another shot of our colleague down below. Hello. Wearing a lovely red hat, almost looks like Santa. And then we'll move on. So we're going uphill a bit, you might just hear the snow crunching under my boots. So this is amazing. A wolf peeking out from the woods, which adds to the fairy tale quality of all of this forest walk. This is not a real wolf. This is carved in wood. It looks really beautiful and it's covered in snow at the moment, which maybe is why I didn't spot it at first. So what's the story here?  Ross: Well, the story here is that Carrbridge hosts the Scottish chainsaw carving competition every year at the end of August, and there are chainsaw artists coming from all over the world to compete here to do some incredibly elaborate carvings. They do benches and three-to-four-metre statues and it's absolutely incredible.   Adam: This is very delicate that I'm surprised this would be done with a chainsaw.  Ross: Yeah, it's a very specialist skill as you can see, and people have to be very artistic. You have to be very good with the saw, but also the bar of the saw is a specialist carving tool. But then they also can use all sorts of other implements to try and refine the artwork itself. And this is just one part of that much larger chainsaw carving trail that's in Carrbridge that really commemorates this annual event.  Adam: Amazing. Well, we'll leave the wolf. It's got even a little dark nose. Amazing. A little dog, a real dog this time. Well, yes, just to prove it. We've just seen some reindeer. Obviously they're a type of deer. Are they as much of a problem as the normal red deer that we know about? So what's your view on them?  Ross: Well, red deer, the numbers are extremely high in some places and in the Cairngorms, they're generally much better managed. But in other places where there just isn't that, that integration or the objectives are yet to be aligned with protected areas, the numbers in those places need to come down, but recognising that there are different objectives, there are different landowners who want to do different things with land. So in recognising and respecting those objectives, but generally, ideal numbers need to come down and they need to come down a lot in order for trees and woodland to recover.  Adam: But that's deer in general, just because it's Christmas, I just have reindeer on the mind. You don't see many reindeer here. Or any reindeer here?  Ross: No, you see them up in the Cairngorms, right?   Adam: Right. Another pitstop. I see some lichen with some snow on it. I should turn them into Christmas cards. I won't, but that's what I should do. So if there was a sort of a final thought you wanted people to take away about this forest or about Caledonian pines you're trying to protect and grow here, what might that be?  Ross: Well, for this woodland, and as I say, it's only 36 acres in size, it's a fairly small wood. But it's not to discount that, and we talk about the hundreds of ants nests, the crossbills, the crested tits, it's woodlands like this can punch way above their weight. But also woodlands like this connected together provide a much larger, integrated robust habitat. And it's just thinking along these lines that this, this woodland, although it has the A9 on one side, it's got roads on two other sides, it's got a forest adventure park there and to the other side, it feels like a woodland that could be squeezed, but it can also feel like a woodland that is a part of this much larger landscape and contributing to that. And I suppose in part it depends on how you view that, yeah. But the woodland is connected to its woodlands round about, so it's definitely playing its part and part of that recovery of the old Caledonian pine forest of Scotland, as small as it is.  Adam: It's been a real treat for you to guide us through it on such a special snowy Christmas-y day. So thank you very much indeed.   Ross: No problem.   Adam: Well, it's been a fantastic day. Which leaves me just say from the land of reindeer and Caledonian pine, can I wish you a very happy, peaceful and joyous Christmas and New Year? And I do hope that wherever you are, you are able to share the joy of this season and that you'll join us in the New Year for lots more podcasts and tree adventures. Until then, from all of us in the Woodland Trust podcast team, to all of you, can we wish you a happy Christmas and a great New Year and of course, happy wanderings.  Thank you for listening to the Woodland Trust Woodland Walks. Join us next month when Adam will be taking another walk in the company of Woodland Trust staff, partners and volunteers. And don't forget to subscribe to the series on iTunes or wherever you are listening. And do give us a review and a rating. If you want to find out more about our woods and those that are close to you, check out the Woodland Trust website. Just head to the visiting woods pages. Thank you. 

In this episode, I have a mix of Christmas songs for you. Some are warm, some are melancholy, and some are sarcastic. While I adore a bit of snark with my Christmas, I advise a bit of caution for those who are looking for traditional Christmas songs. The songs are "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" by James Dalton, "Warm Season" by Chris Daily, "The Wreck of the Donner and Blitzen" by Dry Creek Devils, "Yuletide Eulogy (2024 Frankenpine Remix)" by The Strange Party, and "Panenka Maria" by RukyNaDudy.

Two Turtle Doves, or Dildos?Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dana returned to the kitchen as Orlando was finishing drying the stemware. She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in front of her tits as she tried to give a confident look, though a drunken squirrel was racing around inside her chest.Orlando folded the dish towel, set it down as he stepped to her side. He reached around her waist and pulled her close, brushing her hair back, he whispered into her ear, "Strange as it is, there are some people who have a difficult time accepting good things that are given to them. You have been given a set of good and close girlfriends Dana." Orlando placed his fingertips at the base of her jaw, "Your pulse is beating hard, I sense that you are understandably nervous to find yourself in a position to accept or reject a special, intimate gift that has been tenderly offered to you." Continuing to whisper into her ear in a mesmerizing, deep masculine voice. "It is my hope that you will be accepting of all the pleasures and dreams which are before you."Dana gulped, wanting some words to come out of her throat, but nothing happened. She wasn't sure if those stuck words ever made it onto her tongue what they would say to Orlando's proposition. She liked the idea that they could be a 'yes', but something held her back from giving an answer. She let her emotions bubble hot inside of her, waiting until they were ready to come out in their own time; she wished and hoped they'd be an accepting 'yes', but she wasn't sure.The roaming fingers of her cooing partridge traced down the side of her neck, parting her collar from her prickly, heated skin. His fingers found her bra strap and followed it lower along the pathway that brought his touch to the slope of her tit. With one hand, the tips of his fingers ran along the upper rim of her black lacy cup while the other hand undid the top button of her blouse. Orlando breathed his warm, moist breath into her ear. "You've changed into something lacy since I've arrived," was Orlando's observation. "You have not given me a spoken answer as to whether you'll accept an intimate gift, but I have gotten your subtle answer by my discovery of your hidden charms. You are a charming woman," Orlando breathed into her ear in a husky voice, and then gave her a small kiss on the cheek.Dana let out a small moan as she unconsciously tipped her head back, exposing her throat and lifting her tits as Orlando teased her flesh as he continued with his light touch running along the contours of her bra. Her gift lover recognized the moan, the short breaths, the exposed throat and the visible flush of her chest as the tell-tale signs of a woman drifting into seduction. Dana didn't have to speak; she had already extended an invitation in the wordless language of lovers for Orlando to take her wherever he wanted to go.Orlando worked deliberately, unfastening each button as he pressed his warm lips to her throat followed by tiny, wet touches with the tip of his tongue. Dana let his attention wash over her skin, floating on warm waves that rippled through her insides. With the bottom button undone, he rolled his fingers around her cups, petting her ribs before setting his fingers between her fingers, lifting their entwined hands and guiding Dana out of the kitchen, floating toward the back of the house.Lifting her unfastened shirt off her shoulders, Orlando tossed it over a chair in the corner and then pressed her with his palm, forcing Dana to fall back onto the bed. Dana landed on her back with a giggle, loving the feeling of being desired and taken. She placed her hands behind her head, accentuating her tits covered in the gossamer black fabric of her cups. She relished watching Orlando, waiting to see his next move.Orlando reached into the side pocket of his jacket, tossing a small bottle onto the bed. "What's that?" asked Dana from her reclining pin-up girl pose."Consider it 'partridge oil,' my little chickpea. Some of us more experienced partridges find that a dab or two on a partridge's pecker makes for smoother night's nesting in our chosen pear tree."Dana broke into a broad grin, "I never knew partridges were such considerate birds," she said."Not all partridges are, some will leave droppings on your car. But when a partridge finds an attractive limb or two, we partridges are known to be considerate nesters." Orlando tossed his jacket over the back of the corner chair and then stripped off his shirt, shoes and socks."Now, I believe this old, experienced partridge has found a pair of attractive limbs that interest me a great deal." Orlando crawled onto the bed, unsnapped Dana's pants and pulled them off as she lifted her lower limbs skyward. Orlando admired her matching lacy black panties for a moment before he swooped in and removed the pair just as he'd done with her pants. "Ah, there is a pretty little partridge nest at the top of a pair of attractive limbs," announced Orlando, more to himself than to Dana.Dana felt shy, but at the same time pleased to be the object of a man's intimate attention for the first time in a long time. She lay on the bed, her cunny and pubic hair exposed to Orlando's admiring eyes while still trussed up in her bra. She squirmed over to retrieve the bottle of lubricant that Orlando had tossed onto the quilt. She shook it in front of the shirtless man lying next to her, teasing him she asked, "Don't you have to molt or something before this 'partridge oil' can be applied to your pecker?" She was pleased to see the fabric at his crotch stretched over a nice, rigid form."I'm getting the urge to roost, but I'd enjoy a little more playtime." Orlando tucked his targeted pear tree under the heavy quilt, slipping under to join her. He pulled her over to cuddle next to him. He slipped her straps off her shoulders, massaging and nibbling at her back as he unhooked the last of her garments, discarding it over the side of the bed. He rolled her onto her back, cupping and squeezing her tits as he kissed her arms, working his lips to the top of her tit, bunching her tit in his firm grip as he pushed her erect nipple into his mouth. He inhaled her exquisitely sensitive titty tip with a vigorous suction that filled his hot, wet mouth. His tongue darted and circled around her puffed up bits, sending sparks shooting into her clit. He worked her fleshy mounds over with his mouth, drooling over her melons and adding to the juicy wet sensation she was getting between her thighs.As he lapped at her nipples, caressing, licking, squeezing and mashing her mammaries with his right hand, his left hand traveled across her belly, inching its way lower on her body. Dana opened herself, thrilled to once again feel the pleasure of a man intimately handling all of her excited girl parts. Her cunny was more than moist, her breathing shallow and her brain swimming in a warm fog. Dana arched her hips as Orlando's hand petted her bush; her little princess ached to once again be embraced by a dancing partner. It has been so long. Her warm, buttery inner parts were feeling more wonderful than she ever remembered.Orlando's fingers passed over her dewy vulva with a firm pressure. His hand made a tight circular grinding motion before he spread her puffy lips open, probing along her slick walls, climbing up her canyon. Dana held her breath, she wanted to squeal before he got to her clit, but she held her silence with closed eyes, letting the anticipation of first contact build in her lungs and in her loins.Orlando's fingertip crept up the underside of her rigid clit, painting her in her own sex juices. He circled her aroused bud, triggering a flash of blue electricity that shot under her skin to her toes. Dana's hips bucked; her ass arched as she pushed her sex trigger into her lover's fingers. He ran a couple of his fingers into her slippery cunny, drawing them up to her clit, bathing her in her own nectar. Dana burst into a series of brusque chirps, half-screaming, half-moaning as she was seized by convulsing and shaking legs. She choked out in shallow breaths, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh god, oh fuck. Oh, fucking fuck."Orlando let her convulsions subside. Dana covered her eyes with her hands, gasping for breath as his fingers rested, half filling her pulsing cunny. "I could be wrong -- but I'm not; you have a lot more in the tank my little chickpea." Orlando stuffed his fingers further up inside her cunt as if he was taking the measure of her tank. He pulled out slowly, making sure he tickled her g-spot as he withdrew from her throbbing void."I might have forgotten about the next element in your Secret Santa swap tonight, except it is so fucking uncomfortable right now. I'm afraid you'll have to perform the final plucking of your evening's gift partridge. I will need the skilled digits of my beautiful assistant; would you please remove my remaining apparel. I have been instructed by the one who sent me, to inform you that there is a special package waiting for you underneath."With the glee of a young girl selecting her wrapped package from under the Christmas tree, Dana rolled on her side, unzipping Orlando's white trousers and pulling them off. His erection was obvious under his holiday themed underwear, yet it looked as if his underwear was packing more than expected. Curious about his cock and whatever extras accompanied his package, she tugged his last bit of wrapping away to reveal the full package. Dana whooped in surprise, and laughed a hearty laugh, admiring the red bow adding a festive cheer to his stiff prick. "Oh my! Is this all for me?" she giggled.Orlando shrugged, "I suggest you read the label. If it's not addressed to you, I've made a terrible mistake."Dana picked up the card hanging from the red bow, dangling below Orlando's Christmas balls: "On the First Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. I've decided to exchange more than cookies after our usual Christmas Cookie Exchange. Dana, Merry Fucking Christmas! -- McNally."Dana let a little squeak escape, "This is all so very naughty."Orlando thrust his hips toward Dana, "Yes it is. Would you do me a favor and unknot me?" he said, shaking his boner in front of her to get her to remove the bow and gift card from his masculine package.Dana's eyes flashed with a mischievous grin, she wiggled her fingers in excitement before blushing as she reached to the base of the proud cock, lifting the elastic band at the base to un-decorate Orlando's extended organ."Thank you," was his response as his partridge cock was now as free as a bird. He searched the folds of the bed cover, looking to find the bottle of partridge pecker oil he'd tossed onto the bed earlier. Dana found it under her bottom, showing her find to Orlando."May I?" was her question as she managed a sheepish look up into Orlando's eyes."The pleasure would be all mine," he replied.Dana reached out to grab his manhandle, coaxing him into bed. She crawled over him, letting her tits hang down, dangling in his face. She dropped her shoulders, let one nipple land on his lips, he gave her a lick, and then she plopped her other nipple to his lips, receiving a second exhilarating lick. She scooted down, grasping the base of his cock, about to apply a dab of lube, when she thought better of her idea.She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, marveling at the inflexible piece of anatomy, trying to recall the fun of having a man's stiff cock penetrating her. It had been a while since she had even imagined enjoying the pleasure of a good fucking. She admired his towering erection, abandoned her last bit of hesitation holding her back and opened her lips and took him in deep. She moved her hands to his nuts, caressed them as she swabbed the hot pink shaft with her tongue. She sucked and stroked him, bringing him to maximum stiffness without a hint of gagging, feeling proud of her accomplishment.Orlando held her head tight between his hands as she bobbed up and down in slow, long strokes with her lips. Orlando's hands reached under her, grabbing a handful of titties in each hand, massaging her boobs and making sure she had her plush nips squeezed between his fingers just the right amount of rough, stimulating pleasure.Dana was getting lathered up again, her lady parts were plump and wet with the thrill of sucking a thick cock and the powerful handling of her tits, making her want that cock to leave her lips and tongue and find its way down to her labia and clit. Dana let Orlando's erection pull out of her mouth with a satisfying plop. She closed her eyes and made the deep humming sound of an aroused woman wanting and waiting to be taken.Orlando positioned his hand under her hanging udders, holding them in his solid grasp; he tilted her onto her back. Picking up the bottle of lube, he poured a small stream over her steaming cunt, rubbing his shaft with a second slathering. Dana's humming picked up in pitch as the cold lube oil fell on her labia, but Orlando's warm hands worked it into her soft girly flesh and made her feel happy and aroused to be pampered with floral scented oil on her feminine folds.Orlando had a well-oiled tool after a couple of strokes. He was eager to climb into his pear tree after great stimulating oral sex and the delight of handling Dana's attractive and suitably large and pendulous tits. He spread Dana's legs, pushing her knees wide after oiling her inner thighs. With a little bounce he crow-hopped between Dana's outstretched legs, landing on the gaping fruit of his pear tree. His partridge flew into her, surprising her with his sudden furious first fuck. He was thick and forced her apart, she felt stuffed; startled at the filling sensation, surprised at the penetration and swoopy with the undulating, gripping response of her unpracticed sex muscles to Orlando's perching inside her cunt.Orlando gripped her hips, Dana's legs pointed up as he pounded her with scooping, hungry thrusts of his hips, poking, prodding, pushing his pecker deeper into her ravenous nether regions. Her screams began with his first humping thrust; each blow between her legs brought a corresponding scream, he was the hammer, she was the anvil. The hammer hit her with shuddering force, the anvil of her sex rang out with each blow in an echoing scream of unbridled pleasure. She was being pounded into a form of malleable feminine flesh as her lover worked her over.Dana had been fucked many times before, she and Sander had made love, mad love, lazy love, hungry love and yet this was new for her. She let each throbbing thrust push her higher. She let Orlando's prick hammer her hard, pushing her to that orgasmic edge, an edge that was always a mystery. Dana never knew what was over the edge, at least not until she had been pushed over it and was falling into its abyss, filled with swirling clouds and tumbling waves of passion. She gave herself away, letting Orlando push her to the edge.She was hanging at the edge of her orgasm, she felt her lover's muscles tighten along his lean body, his breathing was labored, her desire was to feel him cum inside her. She wanted to give herself to him. In giving herself up to his explosive ejaculation, she would be blasted into deep space. The lovers would be swept away together in a perfect climax.Dana tensed in response to the man fucking her as he strained to gather his energy like a coiled spring planted deep inside her sex chamber. With a throaty groan, Orlando let his seed burst from his loins, flooding Dana with white hot fluid. She felt his release. His energy tripped her delicately balanced desire. Orlando's hot splash burst against the back of her vibrating inner hollow, exploding out through her lungs, rattling her pelvis as she shook and collapsed at its seductive power. The heat of her explosion radiated through all her muscles, warping the dimensions of her bedroom.Orlando rolled off her, pulling the heavy quilt over the two of them. He pulled Dana close to him, spooning with her as he buried his nose in her hair, letting his hand rest on her tit as dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads as they snuggled into a relaxed sleep like a contented partridge in a sweet pear tree.December's late sunrise was filtering through the blinds when Dana opened her eyes at Orlando's touch on her bare back. He ran his hand over her skin, rubbing the small of her back as she rolled over on her stomach. Waking up to a man's roaming hands was a forgotten pleasure for Dana. Her night's partner massaged her rump as she purred. Orlando gave her a light smack across her ass, whispering, "You have a beautiful pear-shaped ass, fresh and firm." He bent over and took a tiny nip at her flank, Dana flinched, then he kissed it all better."I regret that I have an appointment for later this morning. Please excuse me, but I will take my leave after a wonderful experience." Dana watched him dress from under a wad of sheets and blankets."Mr. Partridge?" she called as he moved toward the bedroom door, Orlando smiled and turned toward the nude woman lying in bed."Yes?" he asked in a jaunty tone."Tell McNally, 'Have yourself a Merry Fucking Christmas to one and to all', would you?"Orlando chuckled, "That sounds like an inside joke among The Chix. I'll leave that one up to you to deliver that message, my little chickpea." Orlando let himself out of the house. Two Turtle DovesDana was reluctant to rise out of bed; she wished she could linger under the covers with a lover all day. But she was resigned to the fact that the day had to move forward. She locked the door, put on a pot of coffee and made her bed. Her phone pinged. She went to find it and red the incoming text.It was from Annie, 'Clear your calendar this afternoon girl. I'll be delivering a holiday surprise package to your house. You will need to be at home to receive it!' Dana's first thought was, how sweet of Annie.She was expecting a visit from Annie when the doorbell rang mid-afternoon. Dana was surprised to see Nelson on her doorstep. "Is Annie with you?" Dana asked with a quizzical look and a realization that she was experiencing a flash of deja vu all over again.Nelson stepped into the house carrying a small gift bag and handed Dana a scroll tied with a white ribbon. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Nelson. "This is all so mysterious - again," she said with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall. Dana ran her eyes up and down the broad, well-toned frame of the dark-haired man whom she had known as a friend for many years.Dana unfurled the scroll, feeling a hot flush ignite her face as she red Annie's words while her complexion blushed to contrast with the scroll's ribbon. Dana sucked in her breath; her eyes grew wide as she red what had just been handed to her. From what was written in the scroll, it sounded like Annie had sent her husband, Nelson over to her as a special gift. Nelson was here to give her 'a time of holiday magic.' Annie's introduction stated that 'Nelson was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and for this one time only, Santa would be unloading his sack and giving his gifts to one of the naughty girls on his list.' According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'to be swept away and be surprised by the goodies that were stuffed into her stocking.'Dana took another short breath as she finished reading; she understood that the text Annie had sent this morning was but a pretext, a set up. Her lips parted as she realized that there were waves of warm desire flowing in her center as she detected a sudden firming within her lady parts. She was pleasantly embarrassed as she felt another blush rise to her nipples, throat and face.Nelson stared at Dana, analyzing her expressions, making sure she had figured out the reason for his visit. Dana knew he was watching her for a sign of her willingness to have him romance the pants off of her. Nelson's stare made her feel bashful as she kept her secret of wanting to be desired and ravaged by a man who had been off limits -- until now.Nelson saw enough in Dana's eyes, shy smile and crimson blush to pursue Annie's plan. "You understand why Annie sent me over here, don't you?"Dana wanted to reach out to touch him to affirm that she did, but she kept her hands to herself. She folded herself up in a demure stance and waited for Nelson to make his move. "Annie said you might need some convincing, but that my appearance and purpose would not be a total surprise to you -- whatever that may mean." Nelson put his hands on her shoulders, whispered into her ear, "Merry Trystmas, from me and Annie to you."Dana spun away as Nelson was moving his hands toward her tits, but not too far away. "What's in the bag Nelson?" she said as she lifted her neck to peek at the gift bag on the floor behind him."Ah, glad you asked. Allow me to say that I have been sent to your lovely side in this special season and my quest is to hunt for turtle doves. It is my understanding that turtle doves always, always come in pairs. I am a connoisseur of turtle doves, and I will search high and low to find such a pair. I assure you that I will leave no stone, or garment, unturned in my assigned quest to find a pair of white turtle doves." Nelson lifted the bag, "May I share with you my turtle dove hunting strategy?" he asked as he nudged Dana into her kitchen.Dana crossed her arms over her chest, "I would be very interested in your proposed hunting strategy. But I've heard it takes a bit of skill and charm and a degree of luck to flush a pair of turtle doves out into the open. Is that true?" Dana rocked her shoulders in a coquettish fashion as she let Nelson follow her to the kitchen table."Luck, my lady, has nothing to do with it." Nelson put the bag of goodies on the table, "It is all charm and skill," he let out a good-natured laugh at his exaggerated sexual swagger to his longtime friend and with a little luck, soon to be lover. "Let me show you some of the enticing baits that have worked well for generations of turtle dove poachers. Nelson reached into the bag and drew out a small, ornate candy box.He handed it to Dana, "Go ahead, open it," he insisted. Dana removed the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside were a half-dozen chocolate covered pecans clusters."Oh yes, I see why these might work. They're turtle candies -- like decoys. You're a very clever hunter Nelson. You say these are used as bait to lure turtle doves out into the open?"Nelson was pleased with Dana's playful reaction, "Yes indeed, that's the plan. It's in all the field guides that I've red. The use of these little chocolates makes me a master baiter."Dana snorted at Nelson's set up. "I guess I should've seen that cumming," she added once she'd caught her breath.Nelson nodded to her with a sly smile, acknowledging her playful comeback. "The old-time hunters have a saying, 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.' But I'm of the opinion that the hunt can be as much fun as the capture."Dana straightened her spine and rounded her shoulders to emphasize her cleavage as she smirked at the great hunter seated across the table from her. "When does hunting season open?""I got another trick in my bag." Nelson pulled out a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup, holding it in front of Dana."Oh, you are a clever man, Nelson. I see what you've done; chocolate turtle decoys and Dove chocolate sauce, yes, quite clever preparations for a turtle dove safari." Dana was suppressing a giggle at the sight of Nelson's selected ingredients on her table. "But I have no idea how such items are combined with a hunter's skill and charm."Nelson snickered at Dana's pretend gullibility, "That's just the segue that an old, out of practice turtle dove hunter needs," he said in appreciation of her beguiling playfulness. "Allow me to demonstrate."Nelson held a turtle candy to her lips; Dana stuck out her tongue as he fed it to her. Dana licked and smacked her lips seductively as she devoured the bait. Nelson selected a second turtle, covering it with a squirt of chocolate syrup before he held it to her lips. Dana stuck out her tongue; Nelson missed her mouth, smearing gooey syrup over her chin and running down her jaw. "Oops. I might not be the skilled master baiter that I thought I was," he said as he picked up a napkin from the table. Nelson, dabbed at her face and neck, but ended up smearing the syrup into a larger mess. "Oops. How clumsy of me. This isn't working so well, let me try something else." Nelson moved in close to Dana and began licking her face in long, slow scoops. Dana held still as he worked his tongue off her chin and down her throat.Dana began to coo as she enjoyed the wet, messy sensation of being devoured."I hear the cooing sounds of turtle doves," whispered Nelson between his slow slurps mixed with kisses. "There must be a pair nearby. Let me see if I can sneak up on them.""I think they're hiding somewhere in here." Nelson inserted his hands under the front of Dana's blouse, rambling among the straps and cups. Nelson unbuttoned the upper buttons, reaching over to the bottle of chocolate syrup and dribbled a little stream on her throat. Dana tossed her head back, exposing the dark vein and inviting Nelson to clean her up with his tongue.Nelson sucked and licked his way down her throat to her chest while he finished undoing her top. After removing her shirt, he had her rise from her chair. He held his hands behind her head, working them down to her bra. With a deft snap of his fingers, Dana was undone. "Ah, these two turtle doves are too beautiful to be hidden away, caged and cooped up. Let me free these gentle beasts." Nelson draped her bra over the back of the chair before dribbling more Dove chocolate syrup on her upper chest."Yum, you taste so good for a bad girl." Nelson pushed Dana with his tongue and hands, making her lie back on the tabletop, tits up. More syrup was applied to her tits as Nelson dipped in, licking under her titties before grasping them like an ice cream cone and taking big licks across her accentuated nipples rising stiff and bright as a red, glowing holiday light atop the Christmas tree. Nelson's hot and eager mouth enveloped her exposed chocolate covered cherries; licking and smacking with his lashing tongue, rolling across her rounded holiday orbs, flush with excitement at the naughty attention they were garnering.Dana's pants and panties were off before she knew what was happening. She was bathed in ribbons of chocolate syrup from the tip of her two tits down to hip bones. Nelson lapped at her in a voracious, tooth-snapping fashion. He paused to admire her up-thrust boobs, "You are one of my new favorite Christmas treats; big, round teats like milky scoops topped off with tasty red berries, then covered in chocolate. Yum, yum-yum!"Dana had thrown her hands up over her head in sweet surrender as she was consumed figuratively by glowing desire and literally by the ravenous lips and tongue of her lover. She shifted further over the table, opening her thighs and dangling her legs off the table's edge, hoping she looked yummy and delicious. Offering herself as a holiday treat to the man she hoped to entice to keep on licking all the way down to her Christmas wonderland.Dana was not disappointed. Her bare chest was cleaned up well by Nelson's fastidious fussing over her naked body slathered in sweetness. Nelson let his tongue flow downstream, following the rivulet of syrup that ran along the contours of her body. Taking a seat in the chair Dana had just vacated, he pushed her thighs apart, running his fingers up from her knees to the intimate interior canyon that opened between her legs. Spreading her puffy, pink labia, Nelson held her open to peek at her engorged twat protruding beyond the folds of delicate flesh. Dana's half-hidden clit looked like a poorly re-wrapped gift after a curious child had taken a little peek underneath, unable to wait until Christmas morning to find out what was inside.Nelson's own package was straining to break out of his trousers and feeling even more uncomfortable with the bow and tag that Annie had made him wear before coming to seduce their friend Dana under the pretense of looking for two turtle doves. "Excuse me, I almost forgot, I have a package that is for you," Nelson mumbled as he looked over Dana's fuzzy pubic mound up toward her face. He stood, took off his blazer, shirt and boots and socks and then dropped his trousers.Dana lifted her head enough to see Nelson's erection had a pretty bow attached to its base. She exclaimed, "Is that package for me?""Read the gift tag," he said as he turned so that Dana red the attached card:"Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. If you decide to be a bad girl this year, you may find a couple of turtle dove eggs laid upon your nest. Merry Fucking Christmas! Annie."Dana pulled off his phallic decoration, caressing his eggs after unwrapping his package. "The card says if I am a bad girl, my two turtle doves might get me laid and I might find a couple of eggs on my pussy's nest.""Ho ho ho, have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?" Nelson inquired with a prurient interest as he filled her excited crevasse with a couple of slow, pumping fingers."I've been feeling so bad that I've been so good - that is up until recently. Now that I've become a bad girl, I've been feeling pretty good. Nelson, when you're looking over your list of who's naughty and who's nice; if I told you I want your hot cock stuffed down my chimney, would you hold it against me?"Nelson was in no mood to joke around now that his proud member was trimmed for action. He slipped his hands under Dana's ass, leaned into her cunt and gave her clit several flicks with his tongue. Dana squirmed and squealed at the soft, fleshy contact with her clit."Um, this is the moist wonderful time of the year," proclaimed Nelson as he came between her legs, driving into her cunt, stuffing her good and plenty.Dana's breath burst in a big whoosh as her sex muscles clamped down on the stiff man-flesh pumping into her pulsing parts. Nelson kept up a rhythmic pumping as he ran the pad of his thumb around her wild clitoris.Dana's hips bucked in response to the driving, throbbing action of a cock, forcing her intimate space to yield to its girth. Prickly sparks shot out into her toes as her twat was twiddled in a pool of chocolate syrup her lover had dripped over her pink jellybean.Dana's legs lifted into the air, she opened herself to a full throttle fucking. Nelson's bush-beating stick pounded her flesh; each heavy pumping stroke pushed her higher and higher. Dana felt herself rising to her orgasmic peak.Nelson could feel the sexual tension inside her as she offered counter thrusts. He could hear her swelling orgasm in her swooning moans. He continued his pace, knowing it was driving her toward a shattering orgasm.Dana threw her hands over her face in ecstasy as the building orgasm exploded in her core, blasting away her breath as she barked out short, sharp moans. She was a hot pool of jelly on her kitchen table. She was a mess with chocolate syrup making her skin sticky sweet as it mixed with her salty sweat and gushing love juices.The fantastic vibrations echoing in her cunt were starting to mellow when Nelson reached under her and flipped her tits-down and had her spread eagle across the table. She lifted her hips as Nelson grabbed her ass cheeks, presenting her cunt for a doggy-style penetration. Nelson poured chocolate syrup over his turgid phallus and flew at her gaping cunt with a hearty and lusty thrust. He gave her a sharp spank that cracked across the kitchen as he yelled,"On Dasher, on Prancer, on Boner, oh fuck I'm Blitzen!Oh fuck, I'm cumming in your chimney tonight."Nelson pumped her cunt, poking Dana deep, she was moaning with every thrust and every command to his flying, fucking reindeer. Another spank on her flank and Nelson grunted as he stuffed himself deep into her consuming cunt. He held her ass tight to his balls as he shot a blizzard of white cum into Dana's happy cunt.Nelson dropped back into the chair, looking exhausted and quite pleased. Dana was warmed to see Nelson looking so satisfied. She gave him a kiss and then shook her tits, slapping his cheeks with her chocolate syrup painted orbs, making a bigger mess of his face.Dana crawled into his lap, feeling his used-up strength begin to fade. She was happy to have made such a big, fun mess in her kitchen again. "Come on. You're not done until you've cleaned your two turtle doves that you so charmingly flushed into the open." Dana led Nelson by the hand, pushing him into her warm shower where she joined him, making him soap up her lady parts and get them squeaky clean.They toweled one another dry, paying extra attention to those parts once dredged in Dove chocolate syrup, making sure all was spanking clean. Nelson tiptoed back to his pile of clothes on the kitchen floor, dressing himself and apologizing that, "There is some Holiday business I have to attend to at the station."Before walking back out through the door, he gave Dana a squeeze, "I'd fantasized about taking you on the kitchen table before, of course I never thought I would ever enjoy the opportunity. Honestly, Annie deserves a lot of credit for fulfilling my wish list - though I never mentioned this fantasy to her. She's uncanny sometimes." With a playful goose of Dana's two turtle doves, he whispered, "Merry Trystmas," shutting the door behind him as Dana heard a faint 'Ho Ho Ho' as Nelson flew out into the chilly December night. To be continued in part 3, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

Two Turtle Doves, or Dildos?Based on a post by SandyMarl, in 4 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. Dana returned to the kitchen as Orlando was finishing drying the stemware. She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms in front of her tits as she tried to give a confident look, though a drunken squirrel was racing around inside her chest.Orlando folded the dish towel, set it down as he stepped to her side. He reached around her waist and pulled her close, brushing her hair back, he whispered into her ear, "Strange as it is, there are some people who have a difficult time accepting good things that are given to them. You have been given a set of good and close girlfriends Dana." Orlando placed his fingertips at the base of her jaw, "Your pulse is beating hard, I sense that you are understandably nervous to find yourself in a position to accept or reject a special, intimate gift that has been tenderly offered to you." Continuing to whisper into her ear in a mesmerizing, deep masculine voice. "It is my hope that you will be accepting of all the pleasures and dreams which are before you."Dana gulped, wanting some words to come out of her throat, but nothing happened. She wasn't sure if those stuck words ever made it onto her tongue what they would say to Orlando's proposition. She liked the idea that they could be a 'yes', but something held her back from giving an answer. She let her emotions bubble hot inside of her, waiting until they were ready to come out in their own time; she wished and hoped they'd be an accepting 'yes', but she wasn't sure.The roaming fingers of her cooing partridge traced down the side of her neck, parting her collar from her prickly, heated skin. His fingers found her bra strap and followed it lower along the pathway that brought his touch to the slope of her tit. With one hand, the tips of his fingers ran along the upper rim of her black lacy cup while the other hand undid the top button of her blouse. Orlando breathed his warm, moist breath into her ear. "You've changed into something lacy since I've arrived," was Orlando's observation. "You have not given me a spoken answer as to whether you'll accept an intimate gift, but I have gotten your subtle answer by my discovery of your hidden charms. You are a charming woman," Orlando breathed into her ear in a husky voice, and then gave her a small kiss on the cheek.Dana let out a small moan as she unconsciously tipped her head back, exposing her throat and lifting her tits as Orlando teased her flesh as he continued with his light touch running along the contours of her bra. Her gift lover recognized the moan, the short breaths, the exposed throat and the visible flush of her chest as the tell-tale signs of a woman drifting into seduction. Dana didn't have to speak; she had already extended an invitation in the wordless language of lovers for Orlando to take her wherever he wanted to go.Orlando worked deliberately, unfastening each button as he pressed his warm lips to her throat followed by tiny, wet touches with the tip of his tongue. Dana let his attention wash over her skin, floating on warm waves that rippled through her insides. With the bottom button undone, he rolled his fingers around her cups, petting her ribs before setting his fingers between her fingers, lifting their entwined hands and guiding Dana out of the kitchen, floating toward the back of the house.Lifting her unfastened shirt off her shoulders, Orlando tossed it over a chair in the corner and then pressed her with his palm, forcing Dana to fall back onto the bed. Dana landed on her back with a giggle, loving the feeling of being desired and taken. She placed her hands behind her head, accentuating her tits covered in the gossamer black fabric of her cups. She relished watching Orlando, waiting to see his next move.Orlando reached into the side pocket of his jacket, tossing a small bottle onto the bed. "What's that?" asked Dana from her reclining pin-up girl pose."Consider it 'partridge oil,' my little chickpea. Some of us more experienced partridges find that a dab or two on a partridge's pecker makes for smoother night's nesting in our chosen pear tree."Dana broke into a broad grin, "I never knew partridges were such considerate birds," she said."Not all partridges are, some will leave droppings on your car. But when a partridge finds an attractive limb or two, we partridges are known to be considerate nesters." Orlando tossed his jacket over the back of the corner chair and then stripped off his shirt, shoes and socks."Now, I believe this old, experienced partridge has found a pair of attractive limbs that interest me a great deal." Orlando crawled onto the bed, unsnapped Dana's pants and pulled them off as she lifted her lower limbs skyward. Orlando admired her matching lacy black panties for a moment before he swooped in and removed the pair just as he'd done with her pants. "Ah, there is a pretty little partridge nest at the top of a pair of attractive limbs," announced Orlando, more to himself than to Dana.Dana felt shy, but at the same time pleased to be the object of a man's intimate attention for the first time in a long time. She lay on the bed, her cunny and pubic hair exposed to Orlando's admiring eyes while still trussed up in her bra. She squirmed over to retrieve the bottle of lubricant that Orlando had tossed onto the quilt. She shook it in front of the shirtless man lying next to her, teasing him she asked, "Don't you have to molt or something before this 'partridge oil' can be applied to your pecker?" She was pleased to see the fabric at his crotch stretched over a nice, rigid form."I'm getting the urge to roost, but I'd enjoy a little more playtime." Orlando tucked his targeted pear tree under the heavy quilt, slipping under to join her. He pulled her over to cuddle next to him. He slipped her straps off her shoulders, massaging and nibbling at her back as he unhooked the last of her garments, discarding it over the side of the bed. He rolled her onto her back, cupping and squeezing her tits as he kissed her arms, working his lips to the top of her tit, bunching her tit in his firm grip as he pushed her erect nipple into his mouth. He inhaled her exquisitely sensitive titty tip with a vigorous suction that filled his hot, wet mouth. His tongue darted and circled around her puffed up bits, sending sparks shooting into her clit. He worked her fleshy mounds over with his mouth, drooling over her melons and adding to the juicy wet sensation she was getting between her thighs.As he lapped at her nipples, caressing, licking, squeezing and mashing her mammaries with his right hand, his left hand traveled across her belly, inching its way lower on her body. Dana opened herself, thrilled to once again feel the pleasure of a man intimately handling all of her excited girl parts. Her cunny was more than moist, her breathing shallow and her brain swimming in a warm fog. Dana arched her hips as Orlando's hand petted her bush; her little princess ached to once again be embraced by a dancing partner. It has been so long. Her warm, buttery inner parts were feeling more wonderful than she ever remembered.Orlando's fingers passed over her dewy vulva with a firm pressure. His hand made a tight circular grinding motion before he spread her puffy lips open, probing along her slick walls, climbing up her canyon. Dana held her breath, she wanted to squeal before he got to her clit, but she held her silence with closed eyes, letting the anticipation of first contact build in her lungs and in her loins.Orlando's fingertip crept up the underside of her rigid clit, painting her in her own sex juices. He circled her aroused bud, triggering a flash of blue electricity that shot under her skin to her toes. Dana's hips bucked; her ass arched as she pushed her sex trigger into her lover's fingers. He ran a couple of his fingers into her slippery cunny, drawing them up to her clit, bathing her in her own nectar. Dana burst into a series of brusque chirps, half-screaming, half-moaning as she was seized by convulsing and shaking legs. She choked out in shallow breaths, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh god, oh fuck. Oh, fucking fuck."Orlando let her convulsions subside. Dana covered her eyes with her hands, gasping for breath as his fingers rested, half filling her pulsing cunny. "I could be wrong -- but I'm not; you have a lot more in the tank my little chickpea." Orlando stuffed his fingers further up inside her cunt as if he was taking the measure of her tank. He pulled out slowly, making sure he tickled her g-spot as he withdrew from her throbbing void."I might have forgotten about the next element in your Secret Santa swap tonight, except it is so fucking uncomfortable right now. I'm afraid you'll have to perform the final plucking of your evening's gift partridge. I will need the skilled digits of my beautiful assistant; would you please remove my remaining apparel. I have been instructed by the one who sent me, to inform you that there is a special package waiting for you underneath."With the glee of a young girl selecting her wrapped package from under the Christmas tree, Dana rolled on her side, unzipping Orlando's white trousers and pulling them off. His erection was obvious under his holiday themed underwear, yet it looked as if his underwear was packing more than expected. Curious about his cock and whatever extras accompanied his package, she tugged his last bit of wrapping away to reveal the full package. Dana whooped in surprise, and laughed a hearty laugh, admiring the red bow adding a festive cheer to his stiff prick. "Oh my! Is this all for me?" she giggled.Orlando shrugged, "I suggest you read the label. If it's not addressed to you, I've made a terrible mistake."Dana picked up the card hanging from the red bow, dangling below Orlando's Christmas balls: "On the First Day of Christmas, My True Friend gave to me, A Partridge in a Pear Tree. Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. I've decided to exchange more than cookies after our usual Christmas Cookie Exchange. Dana, Merry Fucking Christmas! -- McNally."Dana let a little squeak escape, "This is all so very naughty."Orlando thrust his hips toward Dana, "Yes it is. Would you do me a favor and unknot me?" he said, shaking his boner in front of her to get her to remove the bow and gift card from his masculine package.Dana's eyes flashed with a mischievous grin, she wiggled her fingers in excitement before blushing as she reached to the base of the proud cock, lifting the elastic band at the base to un-decorate Orlando's extended organ."Thank you," was his response as his partridge cock was now as free as a bird. He searched the folds of the bed cover, looking to find the bottle of partridge pecker oil he'd tossed onto the bed earlier. Dana found it under her bottom, showing her find to Orlando."May I?" was her question as she managed a sheepish look up into Orlando's eyes."The pleasure would be all mine," he replied.Dana reached out to grab his manhandle, coaxing him into bed. She crawled over him, letting her tits hang down, dangling in his face. She dropped her shoulders, let one nipple land on his lips, he gave her a lick, and then she plopped her other nipple to his lips, receiving a second exhilarating lick. She scooted down, grasping the base of his cock, about to apply a dab of lube, when she thought better of her idea.She wrapped her fingers around his shaft, marveling at the inflexible piece of anatomy, trying to recall the fun of having a man's stiff cock penetrating her. It had been a while since she had even imagined enjoying the pleasure of a good fucking. She admired his towering erection, abandoned her last bit of hesitation holding her back and opened her lips and took him in deep. She moved her hands to his nuts, caressed them as she swabbed the hot pink shaft with her tongue. She sucked and stroked him, bringing him to maximum stiffness without a hint of gagging, feeling proud of her accomplishment.Orlando held her head tight between his hands as she bobbed up and down in slow, long strokes with her lips. Orlando's hands reached under her, grabbing a handful of titties in each hand, massaging her boobs and making sure she had her plush nips squeezed between his fingers just the right amount of rough, stimulating pleasure.Dana was getting lathered up again, her lady parts were plump and wet with the thrill of sucking a thick cock and the powerful handling of her tits, making her want that cock to leave her lips and tongue and find its way down to her labia and clit. Dana let Orlando's erection pull out of her mouth with a satisfying plop. She closed her eyes and made the deep humming sound of an aroused woman wanting and waiting to be taken.Orlando positioned his hand under her hanging udders, holding them in his solid grasp; he tilted her onto her back. Picking up the bottle of lube, he poured a small stream over her steaming cunt, rubbing his shaft with a second slathering. Dana's humming picked up in pitch as the cold lube oil fell on her labia, but Orlando's warm hands worked it into her soft girly flesh and made her feel happy and aroused to be pampered with floral scented oil on her feminine folds.Orlando had a well-oiled tool after a couple of strokes. He was eager to climb into his pear tree after great stimulating oral sex and the delight of handling Dana's attractive and suitably large and pendulous tits. He spread Dana's legs, pushing her knees wide after oiling her inner thighs. With a little bounce he crow-hopped between Dana's outstretched legs, landing on the gaping fruit of his pear tree. His partridge flew into her, surprising her with his sudden furious first fuck. He was thick and forced her apart, she felt stuffed; startled at the filling sensation, surprised at the penetration and swoopy with the undulating, gripping response of her unpracticed sex muscles to Orlando's perching inside her cunt.Orlando gripped her hips, Dana's legs pointed up as he pounded her with scooping, hungry thrusts of his hips, poking, prodding, pushing his pecker deeper into her ravenous nether regions. Her screams began with his first humping thrust; each blow between her legs brought a corresponding scream, he was the hammer, she was the anvil. The hammer hit her with shuddering force, the anvil of her sex rang out with each blow in an echoing scream of unbridled pleasure. She was being pounded into a form of malleable feminine flesh as her lover worked her over.Dana had been fucked many times before, she and Sander had made love, mad love, lazy love, hungry love and yet this was new for her. She let each throbbing thrust push her higher. She let Orlando's prick hammer her hard, pushing her to that orgasmic edge, an edge that was always a mystery. Dana never knew what was over the edge, at least not until she had been pushed over it and was falling into its abyss, filled with swirling clouds and tumbling waves of passion. She gave herself away, letting Orlando push her to the edge.She was hanging at the edge of her orgasm, she felt her lover's muscles tighten along his lean body, his breathing was labored, her desire was to feel him cum inside her. She wanted to give herself to him. In giving herself up to his explosive ejaculation, she would be blasted into deep space. The lovers would be swept away together in a perfect climax.Dana tensed in response to the man fucking her as he strained to gather his energy like a coiled spring planted deep inside her sex chamber. With a throaty groan, Orlando let his seed burst from his loins, flooding Dana with white hot fluid. She felt his release. His energy tripped her delicately balanced desire. Orlando's hot splash burst against the back of her vibrating inner hollow, exploding out through her lungs, rattling her pelvis as she shook and collapsed at its seductive power. The heat of her explosion radiated through all her muscles, warping the dimensions of her bedroom.Orlando rolled off her, pulling the heavy quilt over the two of them. He pulled Dana close to him, spooning with her as he buried his nose in her hair, letting his hand rest on her tit as dreams of sugar plums danced in their heads as they snuggled into a relaxed sleep like a contented partridge in a sweet pear tree.December's late sunrise was filtering through the blinds when Dana opened her eyes at Orlando's touch on her bare back. He ran his hand over her skin, rubbing the small of her back as she rolled over on her stomach. Waking up to a man's roaming hands was a forgotten pleasure for Dana. Her night's partner massaged her rump as she purred. Orlando gave her a light smack across her ass, whispering, "You have a beautiful pear-shaped ass, fresh and firm." He bent over and took a tiny nip at her flank, Dana flinched, then he kissed it all better."I regret that I have an appointment for later this morning. Please excuse me, but I will take my leave after a wonderful experience." Dana watched him dress from under a wad of sheets and blankets."Mr. Partridge?" she called as he moved toward the bedroom door, Orlando smiled and turned toward the nude woman lying in bed."Yes?" he asked in a jaunty tone."Tell McNally, 'Have yourself a Merry Fucking Christmas to one and to all', would you?"Orlando chuckled, "That sounds like an inside joke among The Chix. I'll leave that one up to you to deliver that message, my little chickpea." Orlando let himself out of the house. Two Turtle DovesDana was reluctant to rise out of bed; she wished she could linger under the covers with a lover all day. But she was resigned to the fact that the day had to move forward. She locked the door, put on a pot of coffee and made her bed. Her phone pinged. She went to find it and red the incoming text.It was from Annie, 'Clear your calendar this afternoon girl. I'll be delivering a holiday surprise package to your house. You will need to be at home to receive it!' Dana's first thought was, how sweet of Annie.She was expecting a visit from Annie when the doorbell rang mid-afternoon. Dana was surprised to see Nelson on her doorstep. "Is Annie with you?" Dana asked with a quizzical look and a realization that she was experiencing a flash of deja vu all over again.Nelson stepped into the house carrying a small gift bag and handed Dana a scroll tied with a white ribbon. "What's this?" Dana asked as she cocked her head, taking the scroll from Nelson. "This is all so mysterious - again," she said with her eyes and smile flashing in obvious enjoyment of the unfolding mystery in her entry hall. Dana ran her eyes up and down the broad, well-toned frame of the dark-haired man whom she had known as a friend for many years.Dana unfurled the scroll, feeling a hot flush ignite her face as she red Annie's words while her complexion blushed to contrast with the scroll's ribbon. Dana sucked in her breath; her eyes grew wide as she red what had just been handed to her. From what was written in the scroll, it sounded like Annie had sent her husband, Nelson over to her as a special gift. Nelson was here to give her 'a time of holiday magic.' Annie's introduction stated that 'Nelson was 'prepared to fulfill her wish list', and for this one time only, Santa would be unloading his sack and giving his gifts to one of the naughty girls on his list.' According to the instructions, all she had to do was 'to be swept away and be surprised by the goodies that were stuffed into her stocking.'Dana took another short breath as she finished reading; she understood that the text Annie had sent this morning was but a pretext, a set up. Her lips parted as she realized that there were waves of warm desire flowing in her center as she detected a sudden firming within her lady parts. She was pleasantly embarrassed as she felt another blush rise to her nipples, throat and face.Nelson stared at Dana, analyzing her expressions, making sure she had figured out the reason for his visit. Dana knew he was watching her for a sign of her willingness to have him romance the pants off of her. Nelson's stare made her feel bashful as she kept her secret of wanting to be desired and ravaged by a man who had been off limits -- until now.Nelson saw enough in Dana's eyes, shy smile and crimson blush to pursue Annie's plan. "You understand why Annie sent me over here, don't you?"Dana wanted to reach out to touch him to affirm that she did, but she kept her hands to herself. She folded herself up in a demure stance and waited for Nelson to make his move. "Annie said you might need some convincing, but that my appearance and purpose would not be a total surprise to you -- whatever that may mean." Nelson put his hands on her shoulders, whispered into her ear, "Merry Trystmas, from me and Annie to you."Dana spun away as Nelson was moving his hands toward her tits, but not too far away. "What's in the bag Nelson?" she said as she lifted her neck to peek at the gift bag on the floor behind him."Ah, glad you asked. Allow me to say that I have been sent to your lovely side in this special season and my quest is to hunt for turtle doves. It is my understanding that turtle doves always, always come in pairs. I am a connoisseur of turtle doves, and I will search high and low to find such a pair. I assure you that I will leave no stone, or garment, unturned in my assigned quest to find a pair of white turtle doves." Nelson lifted the bag, "May I share with you my turtle dove hunting strategy?" he asked as he nudged Dana into her kitchen.Dana crossed her arms over her chest, "I would be very interested in your proposed hunting strategy. But I've heard it takes a bit of skill and charm and a degree of luck to flush a pair of turtle doves out into the open. Is that true?" Dana rocked her shoulders in a coquettish fashion as she let Nelson follow her to the kitchen table."Luck, my lady, has nothing to do with it." Nelson put the bag of goodies on the table, "It is all charm and skill," he let out a good-natured laugh at his exaggerated sexual swagger to his longtime friend and with a little luck, soon to be lover. "Let me show you some of the enticing baits that have worked well for generations of turtle dove poachers. Nelson reached into the bag and drew out a small, ornate candy box.He handed it to Dana, "Go ahead, open it," he insisted. Dana removed the ribbon and lifted the lid. Inside were a half-dozen chocolate covered pecans clusters."Oh yes, I see why these might work. They're turtle candies -- like decoys. You're a very clever hunter Nelson. You say these are used as bait to lure turtle doves out into the open?"Nelson was pleased with Dana's playful reaction, "Yes indeed, that's the plan. It's in all the field guides that I've red. The use of these little chocolates makes me a master baiter."Dana snorted at Nelson's set up. "I guess I should've seen that cumming," she added once she'd caught her breath.Nelson nodded to her with a sly smile, acknowledging her playful comeback. "The old-time hunters have a saying, 'Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.' But I'm of the opinion that the hunt can be as much fun as the capture."Dana straightened her spine and rounded her shoulders to emphasize her cleavage as she smirked at the great hunter seated across the table from her. "When does hunting season open?""I got another trick in my bag." Nelson pulled out a squeeze bottle of chocolate syrup, holding it in front of Dana."Oh, you are a clever man, Nelson. I see what you've done; chocolate turtle decoys and Dove chocolate sauce, yes, quite clever preparations for a turtle dove safari." Dana was suppressing a giggle at the sight of Nelson's selected ingredients on her table. "But I have no idea how such items are combined with a hunter's skill and charm."Nelson snickered at Dana's pretend gullibility, "That's just the segue that an old, out of practice turtle dove hunter needs," he said in appreciation of her beguiling playfulness. "Allow me to demonstrate."Nelson held a turtle candy to her lips; Dana stuck out her tongue as he fed it to her. Dana licked and smacked her lips seductively as she devoured the bait. Nelson selected a second turtle, covering it with a squirt of chocolate syrup before he held it to her lips. Dana stuck out her tongue; Nelson missed her mouth, smearing gooey syrup over her chin and running down her jaw. "Oops. I might not be the skilled master baiter that I thought I was," he said as he picked up a napkin from the table. Nelson, dabbed at her face and neck, but ended up smearing the syrup into a larger mess. "Oops. How clumsy of me. This isn't working so well, let me try something else." Nelson moved in close to Dana and began licking her face in long, slow scoops. Dana held still as he worked his tongue off her chin and down her throat.Dana began to coo as she enjoyed the wet, messy sensation of being devoured."I hear the cooing sounds of turtle doves," whispered Nelson between his slow slurps mixed with kisses. "There must be a pair nearby. Let me see if I can sneak up on them.""I think they're hiding somewhere in here." Nelson inserted his hands under the front of Dana's blouse, rambling among the straps and cups. Nelson unbuttoned the upper buttons, reaching over to the bottle of chocolate syrup and dribbled a little stream on her throat. Dana tossed her head back, exposing the dark vein and inviting Nelson to clean her up with his tongue.Nelson sucked and licked his way down her throat to her chest while he finished undoing her top. After removing her shirt, he had her rise from her chair. He held his hands behind her head, working them down to her bra. With a deft snap of his fingers, Dana was undone. "Ah, these two turtle doves are too beautiful to be hidden away, caged and cooped up. Let me free these gentle beasts." Nelson draped her bra over the back of the chair before dribbling more Dove chocolate syrup on her upper chest."Yum, you taste so good for a bad girl." Nelson pushed Dana with his tongue and hands, making her lie back on the tabletop, tits up. More syrup was applied to her tits as Nelson dipped in, licking under her titties before grasping them like an ice cream cone and taking big licks across her accentuated nipples rising stiff and bright as a red, glowing holiday light atop the Christmas tree. Nelson's hot and eager mouth enveloped her exposed chocolate covered cherries; licking and smacking with his lashing tongue, rolling across her rounded holiday orbs, flush with excitement at the naughty attention they were garnering.Dana's pants and panties were off before she knew what was happening. She was bathed in ribbons of chocolate syrup from the tip of her two tits down to hip bones. Nelson lapped at her in a voracious, tooth-snapping fashion. He paused to admire her up-thrust boobs, "You are one of my new favorite Christmas treats; big, round teats like milky scoops topped off with tasty red berries, then covered in chocolate. Yum, yum-yum!"Dana had thrown her hands up over her head in sweet surrender as she was consumed figuratively by glowing desire and literally by the ravenous lips and tongue of her lover. She shifted further over the table, opening her thighs and dangling her legs off the table's edge, hoping she looked yummy and delicious. Offering herself as a holiday treat to the man she hoped to entice to keep on licking all the way down to her Christmas wonderland.Dana was not disappointed. Her bare chest was cleaned up well by Nelson's fastidious fussing over her naked body slathered in sweetness. Nelson let his tongue flow downstream, following the rivulet of syrup that ran along the contours of her body. Taking a seat in the chair Dana had just vacated, he pushed her thighs apart, running his fingers up from her knees to the intimate interior canyon that opened between her legs. Spreading her puffy, pink labia, Nelson held her open to peek at her engorged twat protruding beyond the folds of delicate flesh. Dana's half-hidden clit looked like a poorly re-wrapped gift after a curious child had taken a little peek underneath, unable to wait until Christmas morning to find out what was inside.Nelson's own package was straining to break out of his trousers and feeling even more uncomfortable with the bow and tag that Annie had made him wear before coming to seduce their friend Dana under the pretense of looking for two turtle doves. "Excuse me, I almost forgot, I have a package that is for you," Nelson mumbled as he looked over Dana's fuzzy pubic mound up toward her face. He stood, took off his blazer, shirt and boots and socks and then dropped his trousers.Dana lifted her head enough to see Nelson's erection had a pretty bow attached to its base. She exclaimed, "Is that package for me?""Read the gift tag," he said as he turned so that Dana red the attached card:"Dear Dana, I hope you enjoy the Christmas package I've selected for you. If you decide to be a bad girl this year, you may find a couple of turtle dove eggs laid upon your nest. Merry Fucking Christmas! Annie."Dana pulled off his phallic decoration, caressing his eggs after unwrapping his package. "The card says if I am a bad girl, my two turtle doves might get me laid and I might find a couple of eggs on my pussy's nest.""Ho ho ho, have you been a good girl or a bad girl this year?" Nelson inquired with a prurient interest as he filled her excited crevasse with a couple of slow, pumping fingers."I've been feeling so bad that I've been so good - that is up until recently. Now that I've become a bad girl, I've been feeling pretty good. Nelson, when you're looking over your list of who's naughty and who's nice; if I told you I want your hot cock stuffed down my chimney, would you hold it against me?"Nelson was in no mood to joke around now that his proud member was trimmed for action. He slipped his hands under Dana's ass, leaned into her cunt and gave her clit several flicks with his tongue. Dana squirmed and squealed at the soft, fleshy contact with her clit."Um, this is the moist wonderful time of the year," proclaimed Nelson as he came between her legs, driving into her cunt, stuffing her good and plenty.Dana's breath burst in a big whoosh as her sex muscles clamped down on the stiff man-flesh pumping into her pulsing parts. Nelson kept up a rhythmic pumping as he ran the pad of his thumb around her wild clitoris.Dana's hips bucked in response to the driving, throbbing action of a cock, forcing her intimate space to yield to its girth. Prickly sparks shot out into her toes as her twat was twiddled in a pool of chocolate syrup her lover had dripped over her pink jellybean.Dana's legs lifted into the air, she opened herself to a full throttle fucking. Nelson's bush-beating stick pounded her flesh; each heavy pumping stroke pushed her higher and higher. Dana felt herself rising to her orgasmic peak.Nelson could feel the sexual tension inside her as she offered counter thrusts. He could hear her swelling orgasm in her swooning moans. He continued his pace, knowing it was driving her toward a shattering orgasm.Dana threw her hands over her face in ecstasy as the building orgasm exploded in her core, blasting away her breath as she barked out short, sharp moans. She was a hot pool of jelly on her kitchen table. She was a mess with chocolate syrup making her skin sticky sweet as it mixed with her salty sweat and gushing love juices.The fantastic vibrations echoing in her cunt were starting to mellow when Nelson reached under her and flipped her tits-down and had her spread eagle across the table. She lifted her hips as Nelson grabbed her ass cheeks, presenting her cunt for a doggy-style penetration. Nelson poured chocolate syrup over his turgid phallus and flew at her gaping cunt with a hearty and lusty thrust. He gave her a sharp spank that cracked across the kitchen as he yelled,"On Dasher, on Prancer, on Boner, oh fuck I'm Blitzen!Oh fuck, I'm cumming in your chimney tonight."Nelson pumped her cunt, poking Dana deep, she was moaning with every thrust and every command to his flying, fucking reindeer. Another spank on her flank and Nelson grunted as he stuffed himself deep into her consuming cunt. He held her ass tight to his balls as he shot a blizzard of white cum into Dana's happy cunt.Nelson dropped back into the chair, looking exhausted and quite pleased. Dana was warmed to see Nelson looking so satisfied. She gave him a kiss and then shook her tits, slapping his cheeks with her chocolate syrup painted orbs, making a bigger mess of his face.Dana crawled into his lap, feeling his used-up strength begin to fade. She was happy to have made such a big, fun mess in her kitchen again. "Come on. You're not done until you've cleaned your two turtle doves that you so charmingly flushed into the open." Dana led Nelson by the hand, pushing him into her warm shower where she joined him, making him soap up her lady parts and get them squeaky clean.They toweled one another dry, paying extra attention to those parts once dredged in Dove chocolate syrup, making sure all was spanking clean. Nelson tiptoed back to his pile of clothes on the kitchen floor, dressing himself and apologizing that, "There is some Holiday business I have to attend to at the station."Before walking back out through the door, he gave Dana a squeeze, "I'd fantasized about taking you on the kitchen table before, of course I never thought I would ever enjoy the opportunity. Honestly, Annie deserves a lot of credit for fulfilling my wish list - though I never mentioned this fantasy to her. She's uncanny sometimes." With a playful goose of Dana's two turtle doves, he whispered, "Merry Trystmas," shutting the door behind him as Dana heard a faint 'Ho Ho Ho' as Nelson flew out into the chilly December night. To be continued in part 3, based on the post by SandyMarl for Literotica.

A NASA probe is going to touch the Sun for ChristmasThe Parker Solar Probe is going to be making its closest approach to our Sun on Dec. 24, diving at 800,000 km/h into the corona of our star and getting within 6.5 million kilometers to the solar surface. It's the culmination of a successful mission during which the probe has measured the solar wind and flown through solar storms. We speak with C. Alex Young, the Associate Director for Science Communication in the Heliophysics Division at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center about the highlights of the mission and what's next for the intrepid spacecraft.Pinning down the how and when Neanderthals interbred with humansStudies of Neanderthal remains have revealed that many modern humans have around two per cent Neanderthal DNA in our genomes. A study led by Leonardo Iasi, from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, shows that the mixture happened over a period of 7,000 years, lasting from about 50,000 years ago until the Neanderthals started to disappear. The Neanderthal genes that persist in our genome are tied to metabolism and immunity, which might be because humans were traveling to new places and eating new foods to which Neanderthals were already adapted. Iasi's research was published in the journal Science.What Donner and Blitzen might have been saying to RudolphResearchers from Concordia University have released a new study about caribou vocalizations, and what the animals might be signaling to each other. The vocalizations are similar to those of elk and moose, but as herd animals, caribou signaling is less about summoning mates from a distance, and more about males warning competitors to fly off elsewhere. Biologists Robert Weladji and Laura Puch analyzed recordings of these calls to search for information buried in the grunts. They found that the frequencies gave signals as to the age and size of the animal. The research was published in the journal Bioacoustics.Do crustaceans feel pain? A new study of their neural activity says yesBy monitoring the neural activity in crabs while delivering painful stimuli, researchers concluded the response they measured is associated with what we would think would be a painful experience. This study, in the journal Biology, adds to the evidence that crustaceans can sense painful stimuli as the kind of negative experience that we tend to associate with pain. Lynne Sneddon, from the University of Gothenburg led the work. Scientists are making a map of the human body accurate down to the individual cellThe Human Cell Atlas is a mammoth global project to create a detailed map of all cell types and functions in the human body, from early development to old age. While not yet complete, it's already revolutionizing how scientists can probe the human body with significant implications for future healthcare — from diagnosing diseases, to developing drugs, to ushering in a new era of personalized medical treatments. 

Send us a textYou know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, but do you know where Jack Frost came from? Ever heard to the Yule Cat, or Krampus, or Lutin or the Yuki-onna? And you need our warnings about Gryla and the Yule Lads! We explore the literary origins of popular winter folk figures, so grab a cup of hot chocolate or cheer and join us this! 

Blue Cross rules that irk, Christmas gift ideas in restaurant merch, Blitzen the unloved Reindeer, Harry Azcrac and Duncan McCockiner in Texas, a heartwarming Christmas tune for kids, and a listener e-mail that both informs and offends are among the minutiae discussed this week by Rick and Dave. [Ep376]

In our second November episode, we have a very unusual Santa Claus exploration with a Channel 4 take on therapy and history, some alternative indie British festive tunes that need to be heard, and more festive questions and answers!  The Long Blondes - Xmas Is Cancelled  The Beautiful South - Hold It Back   Frankie & the Heartstrings - Too Right It's Xmas  Badly Drawn Boy - Donna & Blitzen 

Teresina FM 91,9

On this episode, we'll celebrate the 100th Anniversary of an event that's the unofficial kick off of the Christmas season, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We'll also give you a tip on how to put a little Blitzen in your breakfast, and Mike from the Advent Calendar House podcast stops by to help us celebrate Muppetvember with his Five Golden Things. Download here! 00:00 – 01:42 Intro 01:42 – 03:40 We Need A Little Christmas Now 03:40 – 15:02 5 Golden Things – Muppet Christmas Episodes (With special guest, Mike, from the Advent Calendar House Podcast) 02:22 – 32:34 Macy's…

Hier ist sie schon unsere 70.Folge. Aber so richtig feiern werden wir erst bei 100 ;) In der vorletzten Folge 2025 hat Sebastian Sebastian interviewt zum Thema Stromschläge und Verletzungsfolgen von Blitzen. Es geht unter anderem um den Einfluss der Spannung, die Unterschiede zwischen Gleich- und Wechselstrom und die Überlebenswahrscheinlichkeit wenn man vom Blitz getroffen wird. Viel Spass bei diesem spannenden Interview! Und wie immer freuen wir uns über Kommentare und Feedback. Euer Fasttrack-team

Hannes kann es: https://www.instagram.com/hanneskannes_schulspeaker/ rock.it.raketenstarter@gmail.com www.hanneskannes-schulspeaker.de Musik lizensiert durch audiohub

This week, legendary West Coast steelhead guide Rick Matney brings vodka to the prom and dances with Mr. Bubbles, we get shot at by ranch owners while catching 30-inch browns, steam to Russia to shoot Donner and Blitzen for crab bait, and tie three Wooly Buggers together years before that was cool. 

Es gibt Blitzkarten, die die Blitzaktivität abbilden. Sie dienen dazu, die Verteilung und Häufigkeit von Blitzen in einer bestimmten Region und während eines bestimmten Zeitraums zu visualisieren. Eine der vielen Einsatzmöglichkeiten dieser Informationen. ist bei Energieversorgungsunternehmen: Sie nutzen Blitzkarten, um die Gefahr von Blitzeinschlägen in ihre Netze zu überwachen, da Blitze Stromausfälle verursachen können. Um diese Informationen zu erheben, ist ein Antennennetz nötig, welches die elektromagnetischen Wellen erfasst und im Verbund zu den erwähnten Informationen weiterverarbeitet. Auch wenn die Lokalisierung auf cm ausgeführt werden könnte, ist die effektive Genauigkeit in der Regel 1 km. Das ist wichtig zu wissen für die Güte und den Einsatzbereich dieser Daten. Unsere seelischen Antennen erfassen auch viel emotionale Strahlung - auch hier ist Vorsicht geboten: nicht immer ist die Genauigkeit so hoch, wie wir meinen, dass sie sei. Besser durch Rückfragen nachprüfen. Ich wünsche Dir einen aussergewöhnlichen Tag!

Title by Josie Lane Tensions are high in the north poll as Blitzen takes control and fights the number one enemy - The elves. Song List: "We Ain't Got no Pause About Loving Santa Clause" "Elves It's Time to go Down" "Make it Rein" "Keep It For The Elves" "45 Seconds" "The Day the Reindeer Slayed" Wanna show Impromptunes some financial love? Check out our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/impromptunes Cast: Isabella Valette, Zoë Harlen, Chelsea Heaney and Jem Sherwill on keys Teched by Amber Scates Edited by Morgan Phillips

The Ship of the Dead, ch. 25 to 30 This week on Unwise Girls we talk about the unfortunately platonic-seeming relationship between Hearthstone and Blitzen, the confusing trajectory of gay(?) anti-Irish(?) misogynist (that one's not in question) Halfborn Gunderson, pawns of prophecy, the best things to do while pissing, the emotion of inheritance, and the apparently inherent evil of helping people for the wrong reasons. Come back next week for The Ship of the Dead, ch. 31 to 36! Check out our Patreon! (https://www.patreon.com/unwisegirls) Follow the show (https://twitter.com/unwisegirls) Join our Discord! (https://discord.gg/XnhhwzKQ8d) Hosted by Jacqueline (https://twitter.com/swampduchess) and Jane (https://twitter.com/janeyshivers). Edited by Jacqueline. Cover art by Vera (https://twitter.com/Innsmouth_Inn). Intro/outro: "Super Mariocean" by spacepony (https://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01147)

Eine Sonderausstellung im Literaturmuseum der Nationalbibliothek in Wien widmet sich der verstorbenen Schriftstellerin Friederike Mayröcker. Anlass ist der 100. Geburtstag der österreichischen Jahrhundert-Dichterin, bei der viel zu entdecken bleibt. Manojlovic, Katharina www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de, Lesart

Eine Sonderausstellung im Literaturmuseum der Nationalbibliothek in Wien widmet sich der verstorbenen Schriftstellerin Friederike Mayröcker. Anlass ist der 100. Geburtstag der österreichischen Jahrhundert-Dichterin, bei der viel zu entdecken bleibt. Manojlovic, Katharina www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de, Lesart

Jeopardy! recaps from the week of April 22nd, 2024. We float some original fan theories about R2D2 and Donder and Blitzen, shudder at the thought of Russell Crowe playing Aragorn and Tom Selleck playing Indiana Jones, and Kyle brings us a deep dive about the life and legacy of Zora Neale Hurston. Find us on Facebook (Potent Podables) and Twitter (@potentpodables1). Check out our Patreon (patreon.com/potentpodables). Email us at potentpodablescast@gmail.com. Continue to support social justice movements in your community and our world. www.communityjusticeexchange.org https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate www.rescue.org  www.therebelsproject.org www.abortionfunds.org  https://wck.org/ 

Welcome to the Instant Trivia podcast episode 1178, where we ask the best trivia on the Internet. Round 1. Category: Tv Businesses 1: Ewing Oil. Dallas. 2: Duff Brewery. The Simpsons. 3: Bluth's Original Frozen Banana. Arrested Development. 4: Luthercorp. Smallville. 5: Los Pollos Hermanos--best chicken in New Mexico!. Breaking Bad. Round 2. Category: A Visit From St. Nicholas 1: '"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even" this one. a mouse. 2: It completes the line "but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, 'Happy Christmas to all,...'". and to all a good night. 3: "He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with" these 2 items. ashes and soot. 4: St. Nick's nose is described as resembling this fruit. a cherry. 5: Of Santa's 8 reindeer, it's the last one named. Blitzen. Round 3. Category: Black 1: If your black piano keys are shiny, they're probably plastic; if they dull with age, probably this wood. ebony. 2: This company cleaned up when it introduced the Dustbuster in 1979. Black and Decker. 3: A black monolith mysteriously appears at different times in human history in this classic sci-fi film. 2001: A Space Odyssey. 4: The Black Death that killed many in Europe in the 1300s is believed to have been caused by this type of organism, Yersinia pestis. a bacterium. 5: Their home ice is located at 1901 West Madison Street. the Blackhawks. Round 4. Category: Field Of DreamS. With Dream in quotation marks 1: Someone considered very good-looking is said to be one of these "ships". Dreamboat. 2: Collective name for the 1992 U.S. men's Olympic basketball squad. "The Dream Team". 3: In 1983 Eurythmics hit No. 1 on the U.S. pop charts with this song. "Sweet Dreams". 4: This popular musical was supposedly based in part on the lives and careers of the Supremes. Dreamgirls. 5: Freud published this landmark study in 1899. The Interpretation Of Dreams. Round 5. Category: Name The Parent Company 1: Post-it notes. 3M. 2: Fisher-Price toys. Mattel. 3: Cheerios andBetty Crocker products. General Mills. 4: Crest toothpaste. Procter and Gamble. 5: Velveeta. Kraft. Thanks for listening! Come back tomorrow for more exciting trivia!Special thanks to https://blog.feedspot.com/trivia_podcasts/ AI Voices used

Ett av andra världskrigets mest framträdande karaktärsdrag var terrorbombning av civilbefolkningen med målet att knäcka motståndsviljan. London led svårt under Blitzen och Rotterdam bombades sönder närmast av misstag. Senare i kriget jämnades städer som Hamburg, Berlin, Dresden och Tokyo med marken av enorma bombskvadroner.Militära teoretiker förstod tidigt att flyget skulle förändra kriget i grunden. Naivt trodde man att enstaka bombanfall skulle kunna knäcka ett lands motståndsvilja – när verkligheten var precis tvärt om. Trots civilbefolkningens lidande under bombanfallen ökade bara motståndet.I detta avsnitt av podden Historia Nu samtalar programledaren Urban Lindstedt med Ulf Zander, professor i historia vid Lunds universitet, aktuell med boken Bombkriget 1939-45. Detta är del ett av två avsnitt om bombkriget under andra världskriget.Under andra världskriget genomgick bombkriget en betydande utveckling. Bombplanen kunde bära allt fler och tyngre bomber, nya sikten tillät precisionsbombning, och nya strategier som bombmattor utvecklades.Det fälldes miljontals bomber över både militära och civila mål. Förlusterna var stora - både bland de nedskjutna bombplanen och de som blev offer för bombraiderna på marken. Trots att bombsiktena förbättrades väsentligt, övergavs målsättningen att precisionsbomba militära mål till förmån för "area bombing", vilket framför allt drabbade civila.Under andra världskriget blev städer som Rotterdam, London, Hamburg, Dresden, Tokyo samt Hiroshima och Nagasaki mål för massiva bombningar. Dessa bombningar ledde till omfattande förstörelse och stora förluster av människoliv.För de som utsattes för bombanfallen var konsekvenserna ofta katastrofala. Bortsett från de direkta fysiska skadorna och dödsfallen ledde bombningarna till omfattande förstörelse av hem, skolor, sjukhus och annan infrastruktur. Många överlevande led av psykologiskt trauma långt efter krigets slut.Men även att tjänstgöra ombord på ett bombplan var ett farligt och psykiskt krävande arbete. Förlusterna var stora och många besättningsmän upplevde psykiska trauman som följd av sina erfarenheter.Bombningarnas effekt på krigets utgång är ett ämne för debatt bland historiker. Vissa menar att de bidrog till att försvaga Tysklands kampvilja och kapacitet att fortsätta kriget, medan andra hävdar att deras effekt var begränsad jämfört med andra faktorer.Bild: Amerikanska B-17-plan bombar Focke-Wulfs flygplansfabrik i Malbork den 9 oktober 1943. U.S. Office for Emergency Management. Office of War Information, Wikipedia Public Domain.Musik: Sols Dream av Humans Win, Storyblock Audio.Klippare: Emanuel Lehtonen Vill du stödja podden och samtidigt höra ännu mer av Historia Nu? Gå med i vårt gille genom att klicka här: https://plus.acast.com/s/historianu-med-urban-lindstedt. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Christmas Episode! Listen to hear podcasts of Christmases past, present, and future, or something!  Featuring Bo Segrest, Dan Karlin, Dan Ramirez, Rosemary West, and special guest star Kellie Moon If you like the show, help us grow! rate, review, and subscribeFollow us on instagram @modernexhibitspodA part of the Asylum Podcast Network @asylumpodcastsYou can see the cast of Modern Exhibits perform Tuesdays at 8:00pm EST at Improv Asylum Theater in Boston: TICKETS

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds; While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a lustre of midday to objects below, When what to my wondering eyes did appear, But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer, With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the housetop the coursers they flew With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too— And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack. His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose; He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight— “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”   BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE

Happy Holiday's from Play to Z! We talk about cannibalism! Today, Justin and Erika wanted to give you a festive holiday playdough, but...you know...Justin and Erika can get distracted sometimes and yeah, they talked about a hyper-realstic family reunion the year after a canniballstic journey out west. A weird one but... HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Have a great 2023 and we will see you when we are back on January 5th! SOME BUSINESS: Thank you to the two playwrights we featured in this episode! You can find some of their plays in the links below. Erika's play, Kill The Bird, can be found on her New Play Exchange and you can purchase and produce Justin's play, Community Garden, through his publisher, Playscripts. You can also check out Justijn's new podcast, The Scene: Podcast, which features Erika on the pilot! Finally, you can check out Justin's YouTube channel for more longform theatre content! For any more information, check out Justin's website and Erika's website for more cool stuff!If you like the show, feel free to subscribe and give us a five star review! Also, follow us on instagram @justinborak and @actualerikakuhn and Justin on TikTok for any news and notes on upcoming episodes and more theatre reccomendations!

Follow along as the eight maids a milking, Blitzen, and Gingersnap the Gnome unravel a Christmas mystery beyond comprehension!

This week, host of the Everything Iconic podcast, New York Times bestselling author, and the Vixen to my Blitzen, Danny Pellegrino joined us in bed!    Danny and I packed a record-breaking amount of Holiday cheer and fear into this conversation: from family dysfunction and a *very* rude celebrity Danny thinks should be placed on the naughty list, to the hard parts of this season that get overlooked–the loneliness, the nostalgia, the longing for things to be different.    Danny also opened up about coming out on Thanksgiving,  his history of disordered eating, his battle with depression and the parts of him he kept hidden for years.    Ho, Ho, Ho baby!!! We'll see you back with new episodes January 9th. I'm always just a text/DM away and I'll be missing you like crazy, so please reach out if you feel like it! Thank you for another unbelievable year of LFB, I couldn't have done any of it without you and I don't know how I got so lucky to have this magical community. xxx   CALL/TEXT THE LFB HOTLINE: ‪(341) 529-1604‬   Click here to subscribe to my newsletter BedCrumbs!    Executive Producers Jade Iovine + Catherine Law Audio Engineer Brandon Dickert

Santas sack is full, Ireland isn't, but the stadiums are apparently. It's the LOI Central 2023 clip show. Remember when Dave and Maddie would spend an entire episode of 'Moonlighting' arguing about what happened in the past year and throw in 34 minutes of clips from the past season? Well we would never do that! Instead we throw in 10 mins of classics and another ten minutes of the Bootleg Series Volume 2023 where Roddy does his thing live in Rascals. a session so rare it has only been released on Record Store Day in Malaysia. How's that for a Christmas present? We also tinselled up the studio in Oliver and went hell for leather on the news and blues from the last few months and either accidentally or incidentally stumbled across Johnny's college chicken, Dundalk's crazy transfer rumour mill and every other clubs slot machine of hype. So there's a full hour of festivities for under your podcast tree from Rascals, Collar and Cuff and Future Ticketing. And you know what...It's actually not bad.

Caution: Christmas spoilers ahead—proceed with care! In this episode, Gwenna and Tori chat about the magic of Christmas, from Dancer, Prancer, Donner, and Blitzen, to the iconic red man himself. This leads them to the one question that occupies the minds of parents during the holiday season: Is Santa Claus a lie we tell our kids? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"A Vist from St. Nicholas" by Clement Clarke Moore 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;The children were nestled all snug in their beds;While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.Away to the window I flew like a flash,Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,When what to my wondering eyes did appear,But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,With a little old driver so lively and quick,I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;So up to the housetop the coursers they flewWith the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roofThe prancing and pawing of each little hoof.As I drew in my head, and was turning around,Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;He had a broad face and a little round bellyThat shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;A wink of his eye and a twist of his headSoon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,And laying his finger aside of his nose,And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” Hi, I'm Grace, and this is the Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Poems Podcast. It's a poetry podcast by a kid, for kids. Are you ready for today's Pickled Poem? Email pickledpoemspodcast@gmail.com and let me know what you thought about today's episode. I'd love to hear YOUR favorite poem, too, so make sure to include that in the email and it might show up in a future episode. Make sure your parents have subscribed to this podcast, and ask them to leave a rating and review so more kids and families can enjoy pickled poems.  Oh, and I should mention that this podcast is sponsored by the ⁠Homeschool Conversations with Humility and Doxology podcast⁠, which is hosted by my Mom. So if you have a parent listening, they should probably check that one out, too.  Now go pick a peck of pickled poems! I'll see you next week!

This is Your Friday Refresh brought to you by the UNA Christian Student Center. If you have a college age student in north west Alabama look up the Christian Student Center and get them connected. You will be glad you did. You can find them at Facebook.com/unacsc. Well you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixon. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen…but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all? Of course you do….you've sung the song…you've watched the claymation…and you have probably read the book  — or some variation of the story, hundreds of times. You have seen the decorations in every town across the globe… But do you know the story behind the story? Fiction often mimics real life in strange ways and the story behind the story certainly has some of the same elements. Links mentioned in this episode: http://www.benandtravis.com http://www.facebook.com/groups/benandtravis http://www.patreon.com/benandtravis Reframing Hope Book https://www.benandtravis.com/books Helping. Healing. Humor. with Ben and Travis: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/batify/id1457601152?mt=2&uo=4 Good Old Fashioned Dislike podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-old-fashioned-dislike/id1643163790 Co-Producers: Justin B., Doris C., Rhonda F., Scott K., Mary H. This podcast is hosted by ZenCast.fm

Diese Woche ist schon wieder ein Nobelpreis an einen Österreicher verliehen worden - und wieder in Physik! Aber ... wofür hat Ferenc Krausz eigentlich den Preis bekommen? Christine Thönicke-Frenkenberger erzählt Rudi von den ultrakurzen Blitzen ... und Daniel Zeinlinger von der Wetterredaktion erklärt ihm, warum es diesen Oktober so warm ist. - Sendung vom 5. Oktober 2023

Hannibal. Carthage. Rome. Hamilcar Barca. Second Punic War. Battle of Saguntum. Battle of Lake Trasimene. Battle of Canae. Battle of Zama. Scipio. Quintus Fabius. Fabian. Delay. George Washington the "American Fabius." Elephants. Unladen African elephants. Laden African elephants. Donner and Blitzen. Thunder and lightning. Crepes. Pancakes. Alps. Really? Over the Alps? Huh. Well, that won't end well. Or will it? (dum, dum, dum). Dictator. Altar. You win battles, but you don't know how to use your victories. Cartagena. Hasrubal. It's only important if it hurts you. You'll only complain when YOUR liberty is taken, ignoring it when its somebody else's. #hannibal #hannibalbarca #secondpunicwar #punicwars #elephants #alps #fabius #fabiantactic #battleofcanae #battleoflaketrasimene #battleofzama #battleofsarguntum #scipio #livy #polybius #romanhistory #historyofcarthage #truehistory #history #tyranny #ancienthistory #rome #ancientrome #worldhistory #hamilcarbarca #resistance #principiisobsta #latin Sources: Livy, History of Rome Polybius, Histories

Wie eine selbsttönende Sonnenbrille die nach dem Tag am Strand, bei normalen Lichtverhältnissen, einfach nur langsam wieder eine GANZ NORMALE Brille wird, entwickelt sich auch Thomas Schmitt pünktlich drei Tage vor Abreise wieder zurück zu dem herzensguten Panik-Deutschen als den wir ihn lieben gelernt haben. Nix mehr Mojito zum Frühstück und nackt im Whirlpool vor der Finca die Passanten grüßen. Kalinichta Feierbiest! Das letzte Viertel seines Urlaubs steht nunmal ganz im Zeichen des vorauseilenden Schreckens, der Abreise und ist daher, genau, Scheiße. Einer militärischen Operation gleich wird die Mietwagenabgabe geplant, der Weg zum Terminal vorm inneren Auge stundenlang abgefahren und Small Talk Angebote fürs Flughafenpersonal zurechtgelegt. Gegen Schmitts Heimreise war der Roadtrip von Jack Nicholson und Helen Hunt in „Besser gehts nicht“ die reine Fahrt ins Grüne. IRONISCHER FUN FACT: Ist es doch stets Thomas der felsenfest darauf beharrt dass seine Gattung (Mensch) die einzige im Universum ist und alle anderen mysteriösen Zwischenwesen sowieso für Hokuspokus hält, werden sich ein paar von diesen Gestalten gedacht haben: „Den holen wir uns jetzt“ und haben ihn in seinem Ferienhaus besucht. GRUSELIG! Auch in den Büros der Florida treibt ein Geist sein Unwesen. Bei genauerem Hinschauen ist es dann aber doch nur Jakob der die zweite Jahreshälfte traditionell einläutet in dem er mehrere Wochen apathisch aus dem Fenster starrt und sich zurück in sein Weinfass träumt. Über Umwege versucht er sich sogar noch in Klaas‘ Urlaub zu schummeln indem er sich als menschlicher Mückenmagnet anbietet. Als aber klar wird, dass er dafür bei jedem Abendessen nackt in einer Zimmerecke kleben wird, lehnt Klaas dankend ab. Der ist noch immer in Griechenland und selbst die Landschaft um ihn herum fragt sich schon: Wie lange noch? Gott hat viele Arten mit den Menschen zu kommunizieren. Richtig heftige News verkündet er mit Heuschreckenplagen, Blitzen oder sonstwas für einem Gedonner. Wenn er lediglich Heufer-Umlauf sagen will, dass der mal langsam wieder nach Berlin fahren soll, hetzt er einfach 7000 Mücken in Klaas Füße und hofft dass er danach von alleine drauf kommt. Also, was ist los bei Baywatch Berlin? Wie ihr diesem Text entnehmen könnt: Dies und Das. Viel Vergnügen. Du möchtest mehr über unsere Werbepartner erfahren? Hier findest du alle Infos & Rabatte: https://linktr.ee/BaywatchBerlin

It's time for the second story of the Demigod Files, this time with Steven Parra live in Oslo, Norway! Topics include Norwegian board games, predictions, Blitzen, non-demigod campers, Hey Arnold, fire ants, Fort Knox, dudes, time management, engineering, CAAM 335, Gyarados, stationary walls, pizza trophies, composting, anime, rodeos, compliments, architects, Mona Lisa, Kingdom Hearts, Oprah, Seigmen vs Malort, Zagreus, and more! TNO Live: thenewestolympian.com/live Seattle, Vancouver, Cleveland, Detroit, and Toronto LIVE NOW Hartford, Chicago, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis coming soon! TNO Merch: thenewestolympian.com/merch Thanks to our sponsors: HEADPSACE - Get 60 days FREE at www.headpsace.com/OLYMPIAN60 ANNIE'S KIT CLUBS - Get 50% off w/ code "MIKE50" at www.annieskitclubs.com ATHLETIC GREENS - Get 1 year of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at www.athleticgreens.com/newestolympian   — Find The Newest Olympian Online —  • Website: www.thenewestolympian.com • Patreon: www.thenewestolympian.com/patreon • Twitter: www.twitter.com/newestolympian • Instagram: www.instagram.com/newestolympian • Facebook: www.facebook.com/newestolympian • Reddit: www.reddit.com/r/thenewestolympian • Merch: www.thenewestolympian.com/merch   — Production —  • Creator, Host, Producer, Social Media, Web Design: Mike Schubert • Editor: Sherry Guo • Music: Bettina Campomanes and Brandon Grugle • Art: Jessica E. Boyd   — About The Show —  Is Percy Jackson the book series we should've been reading all along? Join Mike Schubert as he reads through the books for the first time with the help of longtime PJO fans to cover the plot, take stabs at what happens next, and nerd out over Greek mythology. Whether you're looking for an excuse to finally read these books, or want to re-read an old favorite with a digital book club, grab your blue chocolate chip cookies and listen along. New episodes release on Mondays wherever you get your podcasts!

The winter planet Blitzen, which is extremely far away from its twelve suns, receives a strange visitor. It's up to Chesnut, Charcoal, and Blirbo (the Mayor's son) to investigate and perhaps save the world from a jolly threat. Book your ticket to the Twenty-Sided Tavern! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices