Last Men On Earth

Yes, it's true. Matt and I take more work vacations than the cackling chunksters on The View. Hopefully, those moments we do return to tape more shows we're not quite as stupid. Though that's clearly up for debate.On our latest and greatest Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive into the Emily Ratajkowski Blurred Lines assault allegations, because her breasts are perfect and that always warrants attention, talk about the sexual coercion stories out of the women's soccer league we didn't even know existed, get into Cooper Hefner sinking his dad's Playboy empire with virtue-signaling stunts, wonder why "prostitution" was renamed "sex trafficking" by the police and media after 1,000 years, and decide whether there's any nobility to NBA vaccine holdouts like Andrew Wiggins and Kyrie Irving.We're back, with a vengeance. And yes, Matt does look a lot like Joy Behar now.Adoringly yours,Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Matt came back from the week off he demanded for Juneteenth, which is interesting because he was definitely on the slaveowner's side. Every dance has two partners.We reunited to discuss Victoria's Secret firing the Angels and going with butch soccer star and activist Megan Rapinoe in their lingerie campaigns, Chrissy Teigen going full Blue Velvet on unwitting sad people on Twitter, LeBron James being AWOL on the Covid Vaccine, and Matt and I decide who our favorite dude competing as a woman in the 2021 Olympics will be. It's a wonderful time to be alive. A less wonderful time to be dead. As always.We do love our audience. And we want you to love us back. We're not asking for sexual favors. Though we're not not asking for that. But a few coins in our metaphorical guitar case as we sadly sing Oasis songs wouldn't hurt. Become a Patron of Last Men on Earth podcast and help free the world!Love and kisses. Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The boys are back in town again. I think because we don't have vaccine passports we're technically not allowed to leave. But beside the point. Matt and I got together at my mountaintop lair and recorded yet another Smithsonian archive level Last Men on Earth podcast episode. Someday we'll get that Kennedy Center honor. Once all the cellists are dead. In this week's Last Man on Earth episode, we explore Chris Harrison's $50 million dismissal from The Bachelor for improperly being a racial reactionary, put ourselves in the shoes of 1970's University of Michigan linemen being fondled quite openly by the team doctor, explore the bowels of TikTok stardom, and objectively reviewed the Logan Paul, Floyd Mayweather fight for the shallow bit of circus nonsense designed for idiots that it was. Objectively speaking.We do ask you to kindly subscribe to be patrons of our show, as that is how we are raising money for Matt's transition into a female leprechaun. The cost of hacking off his Lucky Charms is more than you might expect. For a couple of shekels, you can really make his transformation to butterfly happen.We respect and admire you.Lex See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Don't call it an audio comeback!We're back with a fully functional amateurish episode of Last Men on Earth. This is the one where we discuss why billionaires like Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates can't figure out until it's too late they can have hot young trophy wives, Matt explains why baseball player Drew Robinson's failed suicide was hardly heroic, we delve into Hollywood pretending to discover not a single member of the Golden Globes is black, and we wonder why women follow the likes of Chrissy Teigen for working mom and parenting advice. This episode jam-packed full of fudgy flavor. Lick it. Go on. Nobody's looking.As always, we come hand in hat asking for you to become a patron of the show on Patreon.com. We honestly really do use any contributions toward beers and heroin, so you know it's money well spent. Bless you, even the ugly people.Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I'm not going to sugar coat this, we took a year off to hide under our couches with our various gendered fully-legal sex workers and came back and screwed up the audio recording on our very first try. I think it may be the long-term impact of Covid, even though neither of us had Covid. That's how sinister the China virus is.Nevertheless, if you care you care to give it a whirl, Matt and I dive into the Covid lifestyle, Elliot page cutting off her breasts, err, his breasts, in order to write a screenplay, Tess Holliday claiming to be the world's first obese anorexic, SI Swimsuit diving faster toward bankruptcy with male models in its swimsuit edition, and Serena Williams next in a line of neverending self-serving documentaries about the struggles of being rich and famous and universally press-adored. It's actually good shinola, if you can make it through the intense record lag pops on the track.As always, we beg your indulgence for recording equipment and beer money via Patreon.com. Because our nation is at its best when it rewards failure. Thanks (heart emoji banging another heart emoji against its will),Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

There are heroes in this life, and then there are HEROES. Like Matt and I drinking beers and eating pretzels and violating many standing COVID restrictions by our mayor, governor, and almighty W.H.O. Council of Elders by coming together for the big 169. Greatest Generation type stuff. Hold your applause.After what seems like a lifetime of coronavirus maniacal scare-casting, we've put out Last Men on Earth Podcast #169. On this week's episode, we dive into our own personal pandemic stories, I force Matt to take a test "NBA Social Justice Slogan or Top Selling Rap Album Name", we project the fate of noted pedo-pimp Ghislaine Maxwell, we wonder where NFL team name changes may end up after full slippery sloping, dive into the fecal details of the Depp and Heard melee, and end on a happy note praising Sports Illustrated for putting a dude who wanted to be a woman in a bikini onto their Swimsuit edition, finally. Banana Hammocks for all my friends!Naturally, we can't live without basic funding for our coronavirus tests. So become a member of our Last Men on Earth patron family and keep hope alive. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Matt and I are on a roll. Like Mahomes to Hill, and trust me, the pitcher and receiver analogy is perfect. I'm Mahomes. Fuck it, the Niners should've won. I'm going to make Hill pay tonight.Become a Patron of Last Men on Earth and you can live forever. We do need your $1.50 for beer money. And you need to stop feeling guilty about listening for free. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive into the hard landing of Kobe Bryant who Matt wished dead on tape two year ago, though he gets bonus points for calling Amber Heard a liar two years ago on wife abuse charges, we explore Harvey Weinstein's micro-penis, tell you the truth about Meghan Markle's master plan, wonder if two Latina (Latinx!) moms pole dancing at the Super Bowel really constitutes female empowerment, and expose the woke narcissism that is Joaquin Phoenix.We do this for you, because we care. Care back. Become a Patron of the Last Men on Earth for the price of two cigarettes, or one beer, or 1.5 Slim Jims. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Now that Matt and I are shitting out content on a regular schedule, it's time to consider your patronage of this blessed audio work. Where would the world be without the De Medici family supporting Michelangelo? Or George Soros supporting transnational sex workers? The bare, naked, honest, and horrible truth needs benevolent patrons as well. Support the Last Men on Earth podcast with your couch change, you glorious motherfucker.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive deep into the study that shockingly declares teen boys are watching Internet porn daily, discussing Deb Dugan's Grammy corruption non-revelations, dive into Terry Crews' sex fasting process, discuss the sad fate of fat Canadian trans-activist Jennifer Yaniv, I share my Elizabeth Warren real life nightmare, and we wonder how many more minutes until Julianne Hough's hockey playing husband comes out of the penalty box, err, closet. This episode is jam packed with speculation posing as fact. So very modern.And yes, we want your dollar. Become a Patron of Last Men on Earth podcast. Oh, the hit lists you'll be on when the Bolshevik Bros take over. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

After an extended break where Matt and I each had plastic surgery to look like the other, like Face/Off, only with less straight actors, we are back and fully recharged for 2020. Our commitment to being called vile and offensive, though never wrong, remains intact. Also, my left testicle finally dropped, so that's like a Quinceañera in your pants.SUPPORT THE SHOW AND LIVE FOREVER! On this episode of Last Men on Earth, Matt and I discuss how women in power are just as horrible as men in power in the entertainment industry, wonder how exactly the WNBA business model supports economy-plus seats on flights, lament the fact that Elizabeth Warren can be hailed a feminist hero for faking offenses, discuss how horrible the Oscars are in every way imaginable, estimate the circumference around Lizzo's best life, and mourn the loss of independent comedy in the media-sphere thanks to duopolistic overlords pushing vanilla content to the masses.Among the reasons independent voices on the Internet are dying off is a lack of funding. I mean, that's a bald-faced plea to become a patron of our show. Certainly, you'll go on some list for when the bad people take over and look to genocide all the non-conformists, but you'll be shot in the back with pride. Plus it's only $1.50, you cheap cheap bastard. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Young people will always be idiots in the eyes of older people because older people were once young and have the hindsight to see what idiot assholes they were. It's the circle of life. This is why old people vote a ton and don't give a shit that young people don't. Also, they're bored because they can't figure out the Internet.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt and I explore the crotch-level depths of Congresswoman Katie Hill's fall from disgrace, including that Germanic Iron Cross on her pubes, mock Lebron James because you have to, wonder if the Deadspin editorial staff is quite as bad-ass, noble, and speaking truth to power as they think, ponder business tools apps promoting LGBTQ activist content, disavow the entire wing of fake studies known as Social Science, and have the final answer as to why Terminator Dark Fate tanked at the box office.As always, we beg of you in a whorish plea to support the show via a tiny donation to Patreon.com. It's a good way to support the arts without supporting anybody close to being an artist.Blessings,Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's less often that Matt and I have the chance to sit down and really talk out our feelings. Like who's a fucking moron, who deserves to be felled by a tetanus-ridden cleaver, and who is so hot you'd do it with her even if she had visible scabies rashes. It's a real bearing of the souls.Support Last Men on Earth. Keep hope live. Not here obviously.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we delve into the tween maniacal musings of Greta Thunberg, the most annoying person to come out of Sweden since the last person that came out of Sweden, troll Ed Buck and his meth-injection sex fetish, explain why women crying at work is now being elevated to a sign of business excellence, talk needlessly about sexually ambiguous Ronson sibling DJs, assess the statistically anomaly that is gender-swapping preschools in Hollywood proper, and we talk Des Moines Register hit piece on that kid in Iowa who raised money for children's hospital. All the good stuff that real news outlets would cover if they weren't chicken-shit, mindless, and dry as your grandma. That seems cruel. All of it.If you're not donating a dollar to keep our show alive, you're wasting your dollar. Also, Jesus hates you and you'll probably get butt cancer. Save yourself the heartache. Give.Bless you.Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You know how in every successive rap album Eminem spends half the record time apologizing for his last album being shitty and promises this one now is finally good -- that's our latest Last Men Podcast, except for the apologizing for the last one bullshit. That's pretty pussy for 8-Mile.JOIN THE FIGHT NOW. OR THE NON-FIGHT. FUCK, CLICK HERE FOR FREE ICE-CREAM AND PORN.In our latest podcast glory, Matt and I discuss Jeffrey Epstein's female lieutenants role in his serial teen girl boning boon, wonder how women got away with turning childbirth into something akin to Silver Star worthy combat duty, analyze the straight-to-Hollywood-twink antics of the latest gay former NFL player, then spend a shit ton of time not really figuring out what straight white males are supposed to do in an age where they are the cellar dwellers of the socio-political pecking order and complaining simply sounds bitchy. It's a tough problem. We're just the guys not to fix it.Now I beseech you to become cheap mofo donors to our podcast Patreon account. While your dollar to PBS simply gives hippy pedophiles who hate America more shows, your dollar to the Last Men on Earth podcast does the same, but without the hippy part. It's super fucking magical. Also, this is how you get into heaven. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Matt and I get a lot of heat for our irregular podcast recording schedule of late. But if you knew the difficulty arranging venues and times between Matt's ankle bracelet and school and park distance restrictions and my own rule about podcasting naked, you'd realize logistics can be tough. Only half of that is true. Give peace a chance.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we delve into young hot chicks with faux modeling careers pretending their not in the sex business, dudes from CNN being fired for virulent anti-Semitic comments on their high school years Twitter accounts, the epitome of impotent self-importance demonstrated by a million indolent souls signing the Change.org petition to demand HBO re-do the final season of Game of Thrones, tranny fascism underway in Canada's lady-parts hair plucking centers, a frank assessment of childless Millennial couples who routinely visit Disneyland, and a forecast of what life would really be like if men also had monthly menstrual cycles like the self-described braver gender. We take a week off from time to time, but we come back with 2 hours of awesome. Well, 30 minutes with 90 minutes of other. Better than Tarantino's percentage. Now give us a dollar on Patreon.com to pay for our beer, and you may enter into heaven. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Coming off my audio failures this week, I put extra effort into being profound, on-topic, and thoughtful -- or, none of the things that come naturally to me. Meh, too much work. It's like the frog and the scorpion porn clip where the girl dressed up as the frog tries to figure out why the dude scorpion put his thing in her. Some things in life are better left as mysteries.On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we mock Kim Jong un and Donald Trump in equal measure, decide whether gay Pride needs a full-month victory lap, talk about Chelsea Clinton, but mostly as a means to make sexist looks jokes, fear for the testicles of John Legend, consider the women's pay gap in soccer even though it's soccer which is even more inane than pay gap arguments, talk about Andrew Yang's fruitless attempt to bring on-paper, detailed solutions to politics which prefers neither, and suggest that England's ITV network insisting that all TV comedy writing teams be gender diverse is likely the death of comedy.Stay with this one, it's a helluva show.As always, I supplicate myself before you like a NXVIM sex slave to ask for your kindly DONATION TO OUR PATREON PAGE. Your $1.50 is the fuel that keeps this Gulfstream of goodness going. Do you realize how much Matt's beverage rider costs weekly? We swear so that you don't have to. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

One thing I've learned in life is to admit when you made a mistake, learn from that mistake, then beat your children to mask your feelings of shame. Everybody has their own plan. I did manage to delete the front half of the show and somehow have an audio software that rolls circa 1988 without auto-save or auto-recovery or "hey, you fucked up, now restore your file" as an option. Damn you, shareware!Nevertheless, Matt and I recorded some incredibly meaningful conversations regarding female pilots in the cockpit (see where we land), the latest allegations involving Trump rape dick, the obviously foreseen failures of X-Men: Dark Phoenix and MIB4 at the box office, and the arrival of O.J. Simpson to Twitter (could this be a blessing in disguise?). LMOE #160 is chocked full of goodness. What is dead can never die. Now give us a dollar on Patreon and show you truly do support the deviant arts.I love you more than your parents ever did.Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's harder for Matt and I to get together these days, what with my running a shelter for runaway teen girls who are height-weight proportionate and hate their fathers, and Matt's multiple ankle-bracelets and restrictive curfews. So when we do meet up, we try to make it count with insightful comments, wise analysis, and profound thoughts. I mean, we would do that if we could, but we can't, so we slather on the bullshit and add a few exclamation points to make it seem official.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dive into the tormented life of Amy Schumer as Gaia figure to child, wonder who Ashley Graham's even more corpulent sister is supposed to inspire in burlap sack bathing suit promos, question the legitimacy of Taylor Swift calling people sexist for asking her if she wants children someday, wonder whether STEM programs for girls are truly working if they're now masking them as art classes for girls so girls will pay attention, remain confounded by the WNBA and its sycophants insisting it's as good as the men's sport, mock people who are now dying atop Everest waiting for Sherpas to guide them down the busy mountainside, and further mock Drake for being a Raptors fan with Warriors players' tattoos on his body. It's 90-minutes of pure verbal exhilaration slash diarrhea. You can't miss this.And, because we're awesome and you're awesome, we ask that you kindly kick into the kitty to keep the show going with a buck or two a month. Yes, it's charity. No, it's not tax-deductible. So even better! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nothing says kiss-ass like a men's media outlet putting together a woman's edition. There's the obligatory celebration of Serena Williams and a chick in Pakistan who was murdered for trying to attend a typing class The two hero stories being largely interchangeable. Matt and I decided to take a different tact for our annual women's edition by focusing on some really appalling stories of feminist overload overkill. Not everybody can be as woke as GQ or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we delve into feminist speaker Roxane Gay's claim that WNBA games routinely sell-out thanks to underreported lesbian fan support, Natalie Portman's claim that meat-eaters consume eggs and milk as a sign of misogynist domination, question the validity of Luke Walton's sex assault accuser choosing to skip police involvement and go straight to a personal injury attorney lawsuit, wonder who might be fondling themselves to SI's ballyhooed burkini clad Muslim swimsuit model, figure out if leggings criticism is really coming from the totalitarian patriarchy or merely catty women, and try to applaud the dude who claimed he's a woman and dominated every single power lifting event this past week.Also, we run through Matt's new book on Amazon: Hide This From Your Wife.As always, we embarrassingly beg you to support the show with your sofa coins and recycling CRV cash money, via our Patreon.com supporter page. It really is the nicest thing you can do in the entire world, as ranked by scientists! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

America may now be evolved enough that we can have a completely immature discussion about what it might be like to have a sexually active gay President in the White House. Or would this ever happen? Is America ready for a male President who is crushing hard on Zac Efron?In addition to discussing what may pass if Cory Booker becomes President, on this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dig deep into the hair follicle scents and sensibilities of Joe Biden, Matt openly hate on Kobe Bryant while I cry and listen to Dear Basketball, we discuss when it is a good thing that federal prosecutors trample over defendants' rights (i.e. when Lori Loughlin may be taking showers in the Big House), and get hard for the L.A. Mayor chasing down the perpetrator of the Nipsey Hussle murder. It's not every day a gangsta rapper gets shot dead. We implore you with all the gusto of Kevin Spacey at a Boy Scout jamboree to dip into your coin jar and become a patron of the Last Men on Earth on Patreon.com. We rely on the kindness of strangers for our continued existence. No pressure.Enjoy.Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The better part of having a show like the Last Men on Earth podcast is knowing exactly how to respond to any app tool asking if your content contains explicit language. YES. Though you might think it odd that the presence of adult language remains of utmost concern to publishers in 2019, what with fake news, data theft, the willful distribution of crass commercialism and idiocy parading as clickable content, and war in 37 nations as we speak. But, yes, fuck, and shit and piss still seems to be the great correlation to modern civilization horror.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt and I try to solve the political riddle of Jussie Smollett's radical release, examine just how messed up it is nobody cares that Cardi B used to drug and rob her johns, how anybody thought Michael Avenatti was anything but a sleazy broken gumdrop of a man, the ill-essence of privileged people over-buying their kids into elite colleges, applaud Robert Kraft fighting his rub and tug arrest, explore Matt's NBA plan to help out sad-sack small media market teams, and fight for the God-given trailer park right of Mama June to have her abusive boyfriend back in her home. It's a lot. Enjoy it all with crackers.As ever, I implore the charitable and benevolent and Christian-Muslim-Jewish-Buddhist-Nihilist side of you to become a patron of our show for a buck or two a month. Batteries for sodomite sex toys are far more expensive than you might believe. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I don't know how your town or industry works, but here in Hollywood, a hot girl with an amazing body can't catch a break. Blonde beauties like Brie Larson and steamy hot busty Latinas like Salma Hayek struggle share a bond of oppression previously only know by Southern sharecroppers and the embattled Hmong people of the central California valley regions. Thoughts and prayers, ladies. Be strong.On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast we dig into the systemic bias against bodacious hotties like Salma Hayek, compare Brie Larson's Captain Marvel to an empowering high school assembly, wonder how anybody could call you outrageous for thinking Michael Jackson a sex criminal, plunge into false campus rape hysteria, Matt gleefully roots for Johnny Depp in his lawsuit against his former lesbian wife, and we wonder why any of that matters since moms are now refusing to vaccinate their children due to Facebook shared information from other mental moms. Do you know what MMR stands for? Well, learn it, because we're all about to die from it, again.As always, just short of a Bob Kraft happy ending, we beseech you to become a patron of the show on Patreon.com, such that you might support the continuation of this show and earn your 72-virgins in the afterlife. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

When I used to play sports, people told me I ran like a girl. Little did I know that in the future boys like me would have a chance to dominate the Connecticut High School Girls Track finals. I identify as first place!On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we delve into the transgendered female athletes increasingly dominating girls sports and the reason why that shit is about to pop, discuss Hollywood's Green Book failed night at the Oscars, highlight the hypocrisy of the #TimesUp chairwoman who resigned to #BelieveHim in an upcoming sex assault case, the idiocy of the Robert Kraft tug job arrest and the linkage to sex trafficking, wonder aloud how Robin Roberts still has a job after crazy embarrassing journalism in her Jussie Smollett interview, and find R. Kelly yet again in trouble for peeing on little girls. Didn't your mother teach you any manners?As always, we beg, plead, and beseech you to donate a couple shekels to our ad-free podcast cause to keep our lights on and our beer cold. Visit us on Patreon to make a small, but incredibly valuable contribution to keep us going. The world needs this carbon footprint right now. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Do you ever look around this world and think to yourself, man, I'm glad Ol' Dirty Bastard died before he had to see all of this shit? No. Me neither. Though it's hard not to reminisce about a time when political correctness was roundly mocked and scolded, rather than the practical law of the land. The return of all types of tribunals has not served this planet well.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we accept the fact that Terry Crews played his ball cupping into a brilliant career upgrade; wonder why it's not racist to blatantly deride white people, a common hobby of modern media; overly analyze Jeff Bezos' penis; wonder when feminists will stop taking off their clothes and pretending it's going to teach men a lesson; surmise that young journalists have absolutely nothing interesting in their lives to write about these days; try to figure out how Carson Daly had a show on for 17 years despite nobody ever watching; and wonder aloud what will happen to a world where we arrest people for misgendering the transgendered and trying to pretend science matters. Ol' Dirty Bastard. So glad he doesn't have to witness this collapse.For the love of Pete, and all the women Pete let down, please support the righteous cause of our ad-free podcast, by visiting Patreon.com and donating a buck or two to keep us on-platform, on-message, and on-Miller High Life. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I like to think of Matt and I as great detectives searching for real evidence in a worldwide case of fake news, bullshit, obfuscation, and misdirection. But, honestly, neither of us would pass a background check to be a detective in any known law enforcement office. Damn you pee tests and criminal background searches. Unlicensed muckrakers we remain.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dive deeper into the Jussie Smollett alleged and quickly falling apart hate crime tale, wonder if Liam Neeson and others ought best keep their long ago sins to themselves, ponder where in the feminist org chart a titty-model like Emily Ratajkowski truly belongs, wonder it's a good thing that gender identity changes for young people are now seen as massive accomplishments worthy of celebration and parties, consider how Amal Clooney might carry out her promise to get Jennifer Aniston laid after two years of barren bed times, de-lionize Fyre Festival folklore legend Andy King for merely being a hummer tramp, and end on a happy note, fighting the power that would eliminate the bar sport of dwarf tossing in the State of Washington. Somebody needs to go big for the little people.As always, I would kindly ask that you donate a shekel or two to our ad-free content cause, via our page on Patreon.com. I'm pretty sure Jesus is using this as a scorecard of your righteousness. Also, we have dick pics. Warmly,Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We have two cross purpose phenomena in the Jussie Smollett case. First the desire to be early and loudest about an obviously just outrage over a potentially vile and brutal attack on a minority. And second, when holes in that case develop, even if you're the media or legit journalists, mitigate any chances you're seen as second guessing the attack story. Matt and I are under no such pressure to either, as honest men about town with zero desire to be liked. It really is quite liberating.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dive deep into the Smollett case as it currently stands, discuss the great case of the raping opera singer and his conductor husband, Matt explains why his home state of Alaska is perfect for killing people, we both concur that third party or independent candidates are a net positive, even if lame Starbucks CEOs, we open the floodgates to coming battles between Lesbian and Transgendered, and we dispel any notion that hot supermodels are serving lives of slavery to the patriarchy of societal conditioning. I think that's what we do, I can't honestly remember.Please enjoy the show and please, with a rent money cherry on top, become a patron of the show on Patreon.com where for a measly buck or two you can become a real sponsor of the arts! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You'd think after 150 episodes we'd rise above our sophomoric and juvenile antics and produce something of adult level quality and discourse. You'd think. Score one for consistency.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we wonder aloud why not a single sports commentator is commenting on the ballooning body of Serena Williams, listen politely to Terry Crews play the flute, because of course he does, opine what a wonderful world this would be if all social media sniping and snarking was settled in the ring with fists, or maybe guns, Matt reveals he's come down with Yellow Fever, Leslie Jones bitches about something or other because that's her thing, we make pretend shock face at Bryan Singer underaged twink assault allegations, and we deliver some kind of speech about girls in high school doing rectum wrecking gang bang scenes because the guys are watching to much YouPorn. It's all in a days work. Or two hours approximately, which if you're lazy like us, is a day's work.Please, for the love of children and puppies, find it in your heart to become a $1.50 sponsor of the show. Your private parts will become larger simply through your generosity. Or smaller if you're a woman or a submissive and that's your wish. We do count on your good vibration to keep the show running.Enjoy your week, even if the government is shutdown and nobody can get penny stamps at the store.Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Here's an idea. Put out a tremendously simpleton and cynical sermon on social morality and when people label it simpleton and cynical, declare their defensiveness to be a certain sign that you were right. How long have you been beating your wife, Mr. Man? It's okay to hate the world. Or at least Gillette and their stamped out safety razors.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we dive man-head first into that moronic and incredibly obvious Gillette "The Best Men Can Be" short film, discuss Mariah Carey's assistant's lawsuit for tit humiliation, Matt and I argue over the racism level of the NFL and how Colin Kaepernick came to be the large-living version of Malcolm X, we talk about the case of the Butch Lesbian suing Chili's for suggesting she dress in women's clothing, and I try to ridicule Matt for his article slamming people who love their dogs too much. I'm not sure how that goes, but I'm giving myself a perfect ten like that midget girl from UCLA on the floor exercises.Please, please, please don't forget we run advertising free and entirely off of your Patreon sponsor donations, We're like PBS, but with dirty words and more empty malt liquor bottles. Take the time to donate a few shekels and enjoy our current show and epic archives of podcast divinity. Thanks!Lex See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Today was the day I think we finally said something meaningful. I can't be sure. 147 practice runs and finally, there may be an ounce of wisdom in today's show. It's not as easy being profound as people on Twitter and motivational speaker tapes and Oscars speeches make it out to be. Most people say dumb shit most of the time. And we're above average in the rankings. But today, oh boy oh boy. On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we discuss Democratic party donor and party drug watcher of dead rent boys, Ed Buck, delve into the R. Kelly "he did what?" hypocrisy, opine as to Ashley Graham's theory that having sex makes everything better in relationships, we debate the benefits of separating social media platforms into one for Safe Spacers and one for fully-functional adults, try to figure out who the hell might watch The Masked Singer, and end with Matt's weird insistence that all doctors are freaky creepy perverts. All in a day's work. We ask that you kindly donate a dollar or a buck-fifty, literally, to our Patreon funding page which is the sole source of support for the show. It helps pay for the coffee (beer) and talking sticks (microphones). It's the cheapest entertainment in town. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

If this were a Friends episode, it would be called The One Where Lex and Matt ramble on because it's the New Year and also drinking beer. Though we'd have to shorten that for the TV Guide recap. Also, you'd have to have a laugh track to tell you which parts are the jokes. Nevertheless, in our first week back in 2019, we have a ton to say and it needs to be heard. Maybe not needs, but ought, or maybe highly suggested. 2019 is shaping up to be filled with even more cynical dumb shit from dumb people than 2018. As ever, we remain on watch.In this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we delve deep into Tiffany Haddish's idiotic comment about wearing fur until cops stop killing black people, wonder if Louis C.K. and his Parkland jokes are nearly as bad as the outrage mongers who look them up to force others to hear them and be equally outraged, question the intersectionality credentials of the new Rose Parade queen, watch the Women's March cancel themselves for lack of intersectionality, and wonder what will become of the next Rose McGowan's payday now that California has outlawed NDAs in sexual harassment settlements. Go Truth!If you dig our show or just want to support the commercial free arts and artists or whatever we are, please become a patron of the Last Men on Earth podcast on Patreon. We could use your support, and your soul will finally heal fully. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Before we get to our predictions for the coming year, Matt and I rounded out 2018 by dealing with some of the more profound issues facing our world. Dicks in thongs, Pete Davidson's cries for help that ought remain unanswered, feminists in Hollywood being equally as horrible a fat gross male predators in Hollywood, and some sinister shit Taylor Swift pulled off to endanger the privacy of every living person on this planet. Also, there's a moment when I cry on behalf of Ukrainian preteens who are no longer being shuttled off to Paris to be sexually exploited by men named Guy because the Jenners have taken all the modeling gigs in the world. This may be our motion emotionally arousing episode ever. It's our longest. I can't believe this shit is free.Speaking of, as a gift to us for Christmas, don't forget to pay your buck a month and become a patron/benefactor/dirty john of the show. It not only pays for our beer each week, it allows us to purchase beers for the tween Syrian refugees who help run the show.See you all in 2019! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

If you don't pay attention, changes in the world can pass you by without ever even noticing them. Though you're likely to notice the 6'2", 220 pound frame of Men's Handball Champ turned Women's Handball Champ, Hannah Mouncey, as she barrels through female-born opponents like a hot, big-ass cleaver through butter. Awaiting feminist response as to what to do about the brutes turned dames quickly gobbling up women's sports.In addition to the Mouncey Trouncey factor, on this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we select our LMOE Persons of the Year, kind of sort of defend Kevin Hart while pointing out rampant anti-gay material in black comics material, discuss Amy Schumer's latest nauseating attempt to seem common and connected to regular people, and figure out that Harvey Weinstein is likely to get off on every single sex-charge he's facing due to the quid pro quo nature of his relationships with every single woman he she-banged or bathed in front of. It's a lot to process, but we have a second grade reading level, so it all evens out.Don't forget to support our righteous cause, our anti-deplatforming dreams, and donate a buck or two to the Last Men on Earth podcast on Patreon.com. It helps us be that much more high when we talk to you. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The term patriarchy now seems entirely invented by feminists to pretend it's men, not women, who are tearing down women. You know how men love to judge, gossip, and snipe about how women look or act or parent. Those patriarchal men can't help but be catty. While women want nothing more than to support each other in a female driven Utopia. That's the dream. If you can dream it. Or the lie, if you like the truth.On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we explore how Natalie Portman bikini-boob shaming Jessica Simpson for her teen bikini music videos in the 1990's is a prime example of women can never truly unify, discuss the cupcakes at Columbia University who turned the mic off on comedian Nimesh Patel because he told a racy joke, Matt reveal how his deep detective work into Rain Dove's gender attack claim led him to going on a mini-golf date with the androgynous sort of model, and we wonder why the NFL and football fans make a big deal about the dudes caught on video beating up their ladies, while not particularly caring much for all the dudes doing the same not caught on video. You gotta love football. That's not ironic.In our Patreon subscriber bonus segment this week, we get into porn. More specifically, how Tumblr is now removing porn from its site which is basically a porn site because nobody can have fun anymore on the official advertiser friendly Internet. And that sucks. Not that you can't still find amazing porn online, but that you can't run an ad-based business online that isn't G-rated and PC to the hilt. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week's show as usual was dedicated to the outrage of the offended and the offenders as arbitrarily decided in this world by who shouts the loudest. Sometimes, you need to speak truth to power. Other times, you need to kick truth in the nuts to wake it up and remind all the ninnies and nincompoops that they're essentially liars with bullhorns and friendly news networks.On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we delve into the non-science of gender fluidity and how one high school in a trendy area of England now has dozens and dozens of young teens reporting they're transgender, conquer the mystery of Teskahi69 and his intellectual intricacies, wonder what Lena Dunham's ovaries smell like -- probably cat good, Matt goes off on a beta male-she-beast couple in a Black Friday TV ad for GMC trucks, we both kind of agree we wanted the Christian missionary to die by arrows on that Indian Ocean island, and how can we not applaud Ellen Pompeo for asking all privileged Caucasians to stand up for non-Caucasians on movie sets? That's rhetorical. You can't not applaud.In this week's Patreon members bonus section, we discuss the inherent plight of Jordan Rodgers in publicly calling out his far more successful and stoic older brother, Aaron Rodgers. Is it even possible for the younger, loser brother to ever win these public battles? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The world has turned upside down and all the Chinese people have fallen off. It's our job to fix what is rotten on this planet with semi-literate commentary on the week's events. It doesn't pay well, and there is no paternity leave, but everybody here speaks English and can take a dick joke. So there's that.On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we delve deep into the deep throating done by major cities to attract Jeff Bezos to their metro portals, mock GQ magazine for selecting Serena Williams as their sweet biceps of the year, talk a lot about this enormous chick in England who's breastfeeding her daughter at age nine, kind of defend Kim and Kanye for their private firefighting mercenaries, lament how sophisticated sexual assault coaches have become in shaping the testimony of both real and false rape accusers, surmise reasons why the field in Mexico City wasn't ready for this weekend's mega NFL abroad game, and say a bunch of other incredibly inane things that once in a while make sense. Somebody's got to speak truth to power. And in our bonus segment for Patreon members, we slide into the thongs of Victoria's Secret models and defend the slave-labor fueled mega-panties company for refusing to allow transgendered females and BBW's walk in their annual show. We're probably dead already, at least on the inside.Sally Forth.Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The entire premise of this little 100,000,000 audience strong Last Men on Earth podcast is that men are under siege in these times of feminist planet hijackings. As if women can fly. Just kidding. No I'm not. Make this stop. When we began the show a few years ago, it was mostly that. Never did we foresee that it would be a massive rise in soy males apologizing on behalf of their gender that would be dealing the fatal blow. Never underestimate the power of random people to disappoint you.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we dissect a NY Times essay by a man calling for all men to admit their sexists jerks by nature, question whether or not Ellen should keep writing fat fantasy checks to people she's told have a year left to live, mostly laugh again at WNBA players comparing themselves to NBA players, wonder exactly what the drug dosage threshold is before a celebrity death from crank will be ruled something other than an accident, and delve into the dispute between Rebel Wilson and Black Twitter and how it might be all solved with coupons to the Golden Corral. That's sexist and fat shaming merged into one yummy bite.In our Panties in a Bunch bonus segment for Patreon members, we cover the 0-fer record of celebrity endorsements and apocalyptic promotions in this past week's Midterm Elections. Oh, but they are losers in both the figurative and literal sense. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Moral outrage is directly proportional to the general number of skeletons in one's closet. Normal people good with their soul compass don't feel a need to lecture others on right and wrong. People who used to giggle and clap while Louis C.K. tugged one out on the living room couch tend to cover with lots of #MeToo tweets. It's human nature. You can't fight nature.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we cover Sarah Silverman's unappetizing reveal that she used to be Louis C.K.'s consensual fluff from across the room friend, debate how fair it is to label Kobe Bryant a sex offender despite never being convicted of any crimes, dive deep into tranny transgenders and their battle to be seen as women under Title IX, anoint Amy Schumer's turning down Super Bowl ads she never received as the worst of slacktavism, and wonder why it's coincidentally always bubble blonde waitresses who receive those mega tips for no good reason. Basically, everything you need to know to be informed around the water cooler at work and shortly thereafter, fired.And in our Patreon signer uppers Bonus Content segment this week, we explore how the PC police are trying to ruin the perfectly slutty, drunk adult party holiday of Halloween. Don't take away our hot nurses, por favor. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Pro Tip of the Day: no matter how much you love your rub and tug masseuse, continue to use your fake name. This comes to us from a guy who just woke up in Bangkok with a rip-roaring headache and only one kidney.On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, Matt and I delve into Elizabeth Warren's Cherokee genes, support the trans power bottom suing the shit out of the Shitty Men in Media google doc list publisher, wonder how long until SNL drops the hammer on charity case Pete Davidson, work through the pathology of Aaron Hernandez and his locker room free-balling, and initiate a new segment: This Week in Crazy White Privileged Chicks. It's offensive, but also crude.For those of you who feel like making Jesus and the Karmic gods look upon you kindly, be sure to visit our Patreon account and spend $1 (or more) becoming a LMOE subscriber. We are a public good. And you are the kind of person who feels guilty. We're counting on it. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is no time for White Males to stand up and be counted. The stanzas of simplistic chants directed at your patriarchal domineering alone are enough to make you want to build a rocket ship and aim toward a new sun. Nevertheless, Matt and I, the two whitest males in the history of alabaster masculinity remain determined to fight the tide. Not for a noble purpose so much as we drank too much and can't find the door. I like beer.On this week's prophetic podcast, we delve deep into the radically enraged minds of college educated white women who are stomping around the planet like elephants in musth, which is bullishly ironic, we tackle the issue of false allegations prevalent in sexual assault cases and how Believe Her basically means more innocent black men will be fucked, Matt for some reason feels a need to call all Eagles music fans simpleton assholes, and then we dream of ways to kill hipsters on Bird motorized scooters in coastal towns. It's all fun, except for the murder part, we're serious about that part.In this week's Patreon members Bonus Segment, we plummet into the protesting cleavage of Emily Ratajkowski and try to make some salient points while mostly skimming through her Best Of photos on Google. Safe Search definitely off. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's easy to assume the world is going crazy, because it is. Not in that slow, stepped way either. Nope, like overnight, that woman you knew as the helpful town pharmacist for 40 years is on the roof spraying bullets to stop the alien invasion. In that analogy, the world is the chunky lady with the AK-47. I'm not sure what the aliens are.On this week's podcast, we delve into what's ailing this world, like the new California law forcing companies to put a quota of women on Boards, you know, to make up for slavery. Also, Cristiano Ronaldo Vegas anal rape allegations, Lady Gaga's self-harming fan base harming the movie Venom, Lindsay Lohan speaking in a caricature Arabic voice trying to steal Syrian refugee children off the streets of Moscow and being punched, and Christian Bale in his latest and greatest fat-guy method role, as Dick Cheney in a movie you can't figure anybody actually goes to see in the theaters.And in our epic Bonus Segment for Patreon Patrons, we get down and dirty into J.K. Rowling, faux diversity in Harry Potter, and why it's okay to pick Asian women like Claudia Kim to play the pet snakes. It just is. But you have to listen. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

There's simply a ton of raping going on these days. Don't let the stats fool you. Cosby raped a bunch of women's toes and ears. Brett Kavanaugh raped his liver in high school, if not a girl with a very squeaky voice, and Matt raped our toilet here after eating some bad cheap seafood. What ever happened to simply asking nicely for some action and smiling kindly?On this week's podcast we delve into the Cosby case and conviction, Pete Davidson's apology tour around Ariana Grande's privates, the first female duo NFL game broadcast that nobody heard, Eva Mendes and the onslaught of exhausted rich Hollywood working moms, Suge Knight and his obvious oncoming plan for prison escape, and I talk shit about the Handmaid's Tale and get lost in a patriarchal rape circle. It all makes sense if you only listen.This week's Panties in a Bunch bonus segment for Patreon members features a frank discussion about the Kavanaugh-Blasey Ford hearing before the bumbling stumbling U.S. Senate. It's a doozy you don't want to miss.Sincerely,Lex. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

And now you find yourself in '82The disco hotspots hold no charm for youYeah, this was bound to happen. The 36-year old career blocking sort of rape sort of remember high school party unwanted grope alleged of SCOTUS nominee, Brett Kavanaugh. The ensuing imbroglio and media firestorm has pitted the stupidest members of both partisan clans in a rhetorical battle of completely unfounded commentary. It's what our world has become. Or always was. Only now all the assholes have microphones, including Matt and I.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, we delve into Kavanaugh's HS rape paws, wonder why the hell you'd invite Anne Hathaway to your party to apologize for being white, rip on This is Us creator Dan Fogelman for being a white guy claiming white guy critics sabotage his work, fall in love with Malaysian con-man, Jho Low, laugh an ironic laugh at Asia Argento suing the shit out of Rose McGowan, and say something about Jared Leto saying something about the male model gender pay gap. Man, we love to talk.If you're a sentient human with passion and grace, you'll want to check out our Bonus Segment this week for Patreon members of our show, discussing the celebrity lyme disease near-fatally afflicting Avril Lavgine among other rich and tired young people and models. We pull no punches, despite her horrendous fake disease. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I always joke about how this episode is going into the Smithsonian. None of these episodes are headed for official government or museum archives. But somewhere I like to think Larry Flynt is burying time capsules full of his era's most obscene content and we'll be Saran-wrapped next to Jugs. Dare to dream.On this week's episode we delve into the Serena Williams bicep bulging U.S. Open meltdown and how nobody in the media is allowed to mock her tantrums, touch on Norm McDonald playing the shit out of the outraged class, discuss censorship in scientific research based on activist group threats, Matt kind of defends the Dine and Dash serial stick-it to female dates guy, we wonder if Miss America pageant could become any more pointless, and try to figure out why Cosby Show actor Geoffrey Owens is suddenly our nation's most worthy charity case. It's a lot, but we talk slowly because we're hardly gifted.In our Bonus Segment this week for Patreon members, we dive into the Title IX case in Michigan which finally allows guys on campus accused of rape to question the statements of their accusers, because quite impossibly, until now, they weren't allowed to question their accusers. Amazing. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The benefit of a modern digital and omnipresent media is the ability to know the sick and disturbing truths about anyone and anything we once held dear. Wait, I meant, that's the downside. The benefit is free porn. Easy to forget the distinction, even if it is the basis of our little weekly get-together on The Last Men on Earth.On this week's podcast we definitely and fairly deride John McCain, wonder whether truth matters at all in the making of a modern rape victim singer-songwriter, discuss who might be the arbiter of when #MeToo convicted offenders might be able to come back above ground, discuss the media's overblown reaction to Hawaii's volcano eruption and how they're ruining everything, dare each to visit a sex doll brothel to have a poke at latex A.I., and play America's hottest new game: who's more despicable -- Asia Argento or Rose McGowan? Hint, you can't answer wrongly. In our bonus segment for Patreon.com members of the show, we delve into Demi Lovato's pill dealer's rather brazen interview about sex and Oxy with Demi on slow nights in the hills. It's sickening. I mean, we are sickening, not a burned out former kid star drug addict and her gold medallion wearing connect getting it on. That's quite beautiful. Check it out. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Of course, certain stories just drop right into your lap like exotic dances on the make. When Asia Argento and her sisters armed with venom at the seedy Hollywood system and its even seedier players, you simply knew shoes would drop in all sorts of directions. Partly based on the fact Harvey Weinstein and his team of Mossad trained information assassins are on a scorched earth policy; and partly because everybody in this business is dirty. Finding sexual indiscretions and hypocrisy in the lives of entertainment industry veteran is like finding gambling in Casablanca. You need only look.In addition to delving into how Asia Argento probably did push Anthony Bourdain over the bathrobe belt cliff, on this week's podcast Matt and I get into the sad sack that is Terry Crews, Tekashi69's plea to go by his kindly Hispanic birth name while in court, why older guys suddenly feel a need to explain to the world why they like younger women, laugh mostly at PETA's latest animal campaign, talk Kelsey Grammer's new pube slave tattoo, and question exactly what it might take to kill Lamar Odom to the death. It's explicit. But explicit is good. In our bonus segment this week for Patreon subscribers, we delve into Rosamund Pike's baffling and attempting to be heroic story about refusing to show her body off in casting for a Bond movie. Everybody in town's got a story. And in every story, they are amazing. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I never thought this little podcast of ours would become the most profound and thoughtful take on the times we live in. And I was right. Not even close. However, if you listen regularly, and without falling into a fentanyl coma, you will learn a thing or two. Like Mister Rogers with swear words, or just Mister Rogers when the cameras were off.On this week's show, Matt and I get into the Speedo activist at the Encore Beach Club in Vegas, decry racism in the rather varied response to drug users of different colors in Los Angeles, call out airlines for extorting cash for your basic needs, Matt explains why nurses don't belong in porn clips, we both laugh at the backlash over the Oscars honoring films audiences actually pay to watch, and give some kind of big-hands trophy to the first tranny gubernatorial candidate in Vermont.Be sure to avidly consume our BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON this week wherein we delve into lesbian Batwoman and the backlash against Ruby Rose, my worst airplane seat mate ever. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

There are days I don't want to get out of bed. But not podcast show days. Those are the times I raise myself by sheer force of will and find the strength to share the truth with the world. Also, cocaine mixed with Maxwell House. More the latter really. Everybody must do their part.Check out this week's Patreon Exclusive Bonus Content for rather sensitive information about Melania Trump's hooking.On this week's episode of Last Men on Earth, Matt and I question the logic of letting everybody pick their own genders based on discounted car insurance rates, agree that sexual consent apps are huge boner killers, debate which muscle group in particular gives away Serena William's equine steroid doping protocols the most, Matt explains how Demi Lovato might be faking her own near-death, we wonder aloud as all of Hollywood's A-list clamors to be in the new movie about dead fat Roger Ailes and Fox News, and we both say something mean about Kim Kardashian. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being a straight white male comes with tremendous privileges. The secret clubs come to mind where we hand each other the keys to the kingdom and recommit ourselves to denying access to all others. Not all that secret; we meet in the back of Carrows every other Tuesday, codename: Kiwanis. With all of this privilege, it's about the disenfranchised people who produce Broadway shows bring to the stage, Straight White Men, a satirical takedown of all this privilege. Matt and I just ordered our tickets. Or did we merely snap our fingers and make them appear? This shit is sinister.SUBSCRIBE TO LMOE PODCAST FOR FREE ON ITUNESOn this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we delve into Straight White Men, the Broadway show, and wonder whether it's truly a Beta male bubble phenomenon or something worth concerning real people, we take a crack at being the only people who care about Demi Lovato, defend the right of unemployed actresses to raise money on Kickstarter to start a female only podcast network free of "creeps", Matt offers suggestions to make Big 3 Basketball even more baller, we contemplate the Tekashi69 origin story, and make fun of the Bronfman heiresses for being part of the Keith Raniere sex cult. I feel this could be the episode that gets put in the Smithsonian.Additionally, for our Patreon most-awesome members, we have Bonus Content featuring a dark and darker discussion of the likes of Dan Harmon's humping-a-baby video and James Gunn's pedo-rape Tweets and how to reconcile those in your hearts and minds. It's disturbing, but we go there. Oh, we go there. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sometimes I wonder if two half-breeds with poor work habits can actually save this gaseous spinning orb. Then I remember that's the precise winning character formula of every space opera ever. So Matt and I persist. Not because we must, but because we long ago forgot where the door is.On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, we wade hip deep into the latest bit of Sacha Baron Cohen shtick exposing how stupid old white people are pretty much stupid, old, and white, consider the fact that gay conversion camp films like Boy Erased are made for Oscar consideration, not narrative quality, wonder why a Chinese-American director decided only he can tell the Thai cave boy story, laugh even more at Terry Crews for MeTooing himself onto the Asia Argento support letter fo the Times, and consider the mathematics behind transgender activists insistent than only transgender actors can portray transgender characters in movies and TV. I think we talk for like four beers.Also, bonus content for our Patreon fans, Panties in a Bunch, wherein we talk about the slippery slope danger of felony hate crimes being attached to all these drunk old topless racist curmudgeons in the park. For whom the bell tolls, and all that line of thinking. Be sure to listen. This will be on the quiz.If you like us, or hate us, but so much so that it circles back to like, subscribe and write us a quick review on iTunes. It's what Babe Ruth would be doing if he were alive today. After whoring. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Neither the rockets red glare nor the illegal Mexi-fireworks bursting in air could sway Matt and I from our appointed recording rounds to knock out LMOE #127. America! You're far from perfect, but you're still the girl at the dance everybody wants to feel up.On this week's podcast we delve into the sexual mummification death of a UCLA gay studies professor in the dungeon of a William Morris executive, laugh again at Terry Crews for his tears-of-an-oversized-clown routine before Congress, analyzed Amber Heard's call for her rich friends to protect their illegal servants from ICE, tranny-backed Scarlett Johansson, and gagged a bit discussing Mama June in her new lingerie spread. For our fans on Patreon, there is bonus content, Panties in a Bunch: Why Are Privileged White Women So Fucking Angry? We break down the chaos and depression of white chicks with credit cards. Very feminist in our thinking, I assure you.Be sure to subscribe to our show for free on iTunes, leave a comment, would that really kill you? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

My grandmother once told me, there's a reason they don't have boxing in the Special Olympics. She left it at that. It took me nearly two decades to figure out what she meant. And no, I'm not telling you. You've got nineteen years to beat me.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt fights through a raging case of cerebral herpes as we discuss CHRISSY TEIGEN breasts as dutiful mother and attention whore, SUGE KNIGHT denied request for an obvious escape attempt, laugh at KAT VON D for being a vegan anti-vaxxer tattoo artist, wonder aloud if that dude from Riverdale who wrote fat jokes about chicks on Twitter back in 2012 will ever work again, discuss the type of guy who never carries cash, and wonder if Russian Burger King doesn't have the right idea urging their native ladies to ingest the semen of World Cup stars from around the world.And in our Panties in a Bunch bonus segment this week, EXCLUSIVELY FOR OUR PATREON SUBSCRIBERS, I provide an explanation of the creepy email CHRIS HARDWICK sent me while dating CHLOE DYKSTRA, though also why I don't think being creepy ought to cost you your job.Join us if you will on Facebook, Twitter, or iTunes. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

June is Offensive Podcast Appreciation month, I'm fairly sure, need to look that up. Matt and I were determined to add some nuggets of wisdom and truth to our crap salad of words this week in honor of the celebration. Did we succeed? Probably not. I think we need a life coach.On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we ventured into the musings of Gender Studies deep thinker Suzanna Danuta Walters, she's one of the best, agreed that we'd hang ourselves with a bathrobe belt if Rose McGowan pulled all-nighter rants in our living room, defended Jamie Foxx's penis, outed Rotten Tomatoes for their gender bump, questioned how you'd know if an unemployed young actress in Hollywood was in a sex cult or merely a waitress, and Matt sort of agreed finally that Kanye West is a rap marketing genius. We're also now recording a segment of Panties in a Bunch just for our Patreon patrons who shell out a buck in the name of humanity. This week's segment: How Gay Pride Month Shafted Black History Month. It's a Must listen if you have half a brain. But no more than that. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Lex and Matt are back to talk about a gay conversion summer camp memoir that's probably automatically going to win Best Picture, Starbucks making themselves look worse by trying to fix their loitering problem, that stupid royal wedding, why Matt feels honest cheap food is better than food that tries to be better than it actually is, Hannah Simone's sexist nonwhite discrimination card against ABC, whether Brian or Rocco's Tavern is more to blame for him dumping half of their pizza on the floor, and Jennifer Aniston plays the first lesbian president on a new Netflix production. Oh, and by the time you read this, our Patreon patrons will have already heard the episode because they support us at http://patreon.com/lastmenonearth.  Become a patron today for this and other irresistible benefits!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.