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Today we are joined by psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel for a deep dive into AEDP (Accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy). Hilary recounts her transformative journey of discovering AEDP and the profound impact it had on her practice. Through captivating storytelling and heartfelt insights, she illuminates the power of this therapeutic approach to facilitate lasting change and personal growth. In this podcast, Hilary emphasizes the importance of embracing our emotions fully and fearlessly. She guides us through the process of understanding how suppressing or avoiding emotions can hinder our overall well-being and limit our capacity for genuine connections. By encouraging listeners to explore the depths of their emotional world, Hilary empowers us to embark on a journey of self-discovery and emotional liberation. ==== 0:00 Intro 4:10 An Intro to Psychodynamics 8:56 Facing the Unconscious with Strength 10:16 Hilary's Story of Becoming a Psychotherapist 14:26 AEDP: How Emotions Work in Our Mind & Body 17:27 Getting Out of the Head and Into the Feelings 20:18 The Change Triangle & Core Emotions 32:22 Working Through a Core Emotion 38:58 The Basics of Emotion Education 44:37 Understanding Emotional Control 48:39 Parenting as a Therapist 58:08 What Hilary Learned from her Mother 1:00:40 Conclusion ==== Hilary Jacobs Hendel is author of the international award-winning book, “It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self” (Random House & Penguin UK). She received her B.A. in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, Time, NBC Think, FOX News and Oprah, and her blog is read worldwide. You can find free resources, classes, webinars, and curricula on emotions and the Change Triangle tool for emotional health at hilaryjacobshendel.com and follow her work on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube. Hilary's Website: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/ The Change Triangle: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/print-the-change-triangle ==== Connect with Dr. Drew Ramsey: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drewramseymd/ Website: https://drewramseymd.com
Win The House You Love - Kyle Seagraves - Founder and Certified Mortgage Advisor [Mortgage Experience]Kyle talks about:- How creating 1,000 videos a year improved the Customer Experience- Why this removed the unknowns and what-ifs- Why it's important to disrupt the flow of information when educating customersThe book that has influenced Kyle the most in the past year: It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self by Hillary Jacobs Hendel: https://amzn.to/3BDsiHt His note to all CX professionals:“Take a 10 minute break in silence. People are so used to doing the next thing, and overcoming problems and not having a lot of time to sit and allow them to hear what our body is telling us. A lot of wisdom happens in the silence...”Transcript: https://press1fornick.com/win-the-house-you-loveABOUT NICK GLIMSDAHLSubscribe to my bi-monthly newsletterFind Press 1 For Nick on YouTubeFind me on TwitterFind me on LinkedInLISTENER SUPPORTPurchase Nick's books: Reasons NOT to Focus on Employee Experience: A Comprehensive GuideApparel: https://www.teepublic.com/user/press-1-for-nick Support this show through Buy Me A CoffeeBOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:Learn about all the guests' book recommendations here: https://press1fornick.com/books/ BROUGHT TO YOU BY:VDS: They are a client-first consulting firm focused on strategy, business outcomes, and technology. They provide holistic consulting services to optimize your customer contact center, inspiring and designing transformational change to modernize and prepare your business for the future. Learn more: https://www.govds.com/ This podcast is under the umbrella of CX of M Radio: https://cxofm.org/Podcast-Shows/ SPONSORING OPPORTUNITIES:Interested in partnering with the Press 1 For Nick podcast? Click here: https://press1fornick.com/lets-talk/
“Emotions” like anxiety and depression are often cover emotions for deeper emotions like grief and anger – and working through our resistance to these emotions so we can arrive at our “core” emotions can help us access our calm, compassionate self. In this episode, I bring on emotions educator Hilary Jacobs Hendel, author of “It's Not Always Depression,” to give you tangible tools for working through anxiety and depression to have a richer emotional experience. Some extra resources: Why Can't I Shut Off My Mind? https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/post/2018/03/03/why-can-t-i-shut-off-my-mind It's Not Always Depression, Sometimes It's Shame (NYT OpEd): https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/its-not-always-depression-sometimes-its- It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect With Your Authentic Self (Random House & Penguin UK): https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Always-Depression-Authentic/dp/0399588140/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3UXPWILNH27FU&keywords=its+not+always+depression+by+hilary+jacobs+hendel&qid=1673190622&sprefix=%2Caps%2C151&sr=8-1 Print out the Change Triangle: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/print-the-change-triangle Facilitate Emotions Education 101 Classes with the Emotions Education 101 Turnkey Curriculum: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/ee101-train-the-trainer-course
Sherry and Carla get in the Halloween mood with some spooky spider trivia, and then take a Love Fix question from a listener that needs help learning to not always put their partner on a pedestal. They then welcome Hilary Jacobs Hendel, Psychotherapist, Emotion Educator, and author of the award winning book, It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle To Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self. Hilary talks about what the Change Triangle is, our 7 core emotions, and how to spot healthy vs. unhealthy conflict. Connect with Us! The Love Fix | @thelovefixpodcast Get 1:1 Dating & Relationship Coaching The Love Fix Relationship Quiz Sherry Website | Sign up for your FREE strategy call for life coaching/psychotherapy with Sherry Sherry Gaba | Psychotherapist, Life Coach & Author | Join Sherry's Inner Circle for healing from Narcissistic Abuse, Codependency, and Love Addiction -($1 trial or 1/2 off 6 months free) Carla Website | Instagram | Facebook | Contagious Love | Online Dating Bootcamp Hilary Website | YouTube | It's Not Always Depression Sign up to be in TDR database: https://www.threedayrule.com/CarlaRomo Today's episode is sponsored by Carla's book Contagious Love: Break Free from Codependency for Damn Good and Sherry's book Love Smacked: How To Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency To Find Everlasting Love. Thanks to Contagious Love and Love Smacked for sponsoring this episode. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Hilary discusses the 7 core emotions, and why they are each important. The need for us to practice slowing down and really listen to each other. 99% of fights are miscommunications. What is The Change Triangle? We all have some level of dysfunction, but some people's trauma can be more debilitating than others. Should you add that it's important for your partner to go to therapy in your dating profile? How we can learn to have healthy conflict. Join Hilary's community, and get a monthly post with emotional wisdom, along with how to work with Sherry and Carla on overcoming codependency, dating, break-ups, healing from toxic relationships, and gaining confidence. Disclaimer: The Love Fix Podcast content has been made available for informational, entertainment, and educational purposes only. The Love Fix Podcast is distinctly different from coaching, counseling, psychotherapy, or psychoanalysis and does not deal with the diagnosis or treatment of emotional problems. The Love Fix podcast does not constitute medical consultation or treatment, health insurance does not apply.
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, received her BA in biochemistry from Wesleyan University, a DDS from Columbia, and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She is also the co-developed of the Emotions Education 101 Turnkey Curriculum and Emotions Education 101 8-week class on Zoom. Hilary is passionate about taking the complex world of emotions and making them easy to understand and work with for greater peace, calm and confidence. She is the developer of the Change Triangle tool for emotional health. She is also the author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, "It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self" (Random House & Penguin UK). She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hilary's blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide.In This EpisodeFor more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit Hilary's website at Hilaryjacobshendel.com.Hilary on FacebookHilary on TwitterHilary on InstagramThe Change Triangle Youtube Channelhttps://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/emotions-education-101Order It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018)This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5739761/advertisement
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, received her BA in biochemistry from Wesleyan University, a DDS from Columbia, and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She is also the co-developed of the Emotions Education 101 Turnkey Curriculum and Emotions Education 101 8-week class on Zoom. Hilary is passionate about taking the complex world of emotions and making them easy to understand and work with for greater peace, calm and confidence. She is the developer of the Change Triangle tool for emotional health. She is also the author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, "It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self" (Random House & Penguin UK). She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hilary's blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide.In This EpisodeFor more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit Hilary's website at Hilaryjacobshendel.com.Hilary on FacebookHilary on TwitterHilary on InstagramThe Change Triangle Youtube Channelhttps://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/emotions-education-101Order It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018)This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5739761/advertisement
One of the best things about doing this podcast for the past seven years has been how our guests have shaped nearly every aspect of my life and the lives of my family. Over the years my wife Julie and I have built an ancestral lifestyle we believe to be most conducive to health, connection, and longevity, largely influenced by the brilliant guests we've interviewed right here. The process has been nothing short of an adventure, and it continues to unfold. On this podcast, I'm joined by my wife, food scientist Julie Kelly to talk about how we've taken everything we've learned about health, wellness, and ancestral living to create a home life that truly supports and sustains our family. We talk about how we eat, prepare meals, and educate our kids and changes we've made over the years. Julie shares the immense value she's derived from a very specific type of psychotherapy, and we discuss how our practice of managing stress has evolved. We also give an update on our adventures in cohousing, and the number one factor that we've learned will make or break cohousing relationships. Here's the outline of this interview with Julie Kelly: [00:00:17] Ayla is 6 months old; the birth experience. [00:02:21] Podcasts with Lily Nichols, RDN: How to Optimise Nutrition for Pregnancy and Real Food for Gestational Diabetes with Lily Nichols. [00:03:13] How our eating has evolved over time. [00:04:04] Podcast: How We Really Burn Calories, Lose Weight, and Stay Healthy, with Herman Pontzer, PhD. [00:04:22] Meal prep and shopping. Our eBook: What We Eat. [00:07:14] Justin Sonnenberg. [00:07:37] Lucy Mailing, PhD; Podcasts: 1. How to Optimise Your Gut Microbiome, 2. Microbiome Myths and Misconceptions, 3. Rewilding the Gut: Restoring Ancestral Diversity to the Microbiome. [00:09:17] Simon Marshall's Stress Audit; Podcast: How to Manage Stress. [00:11:31] Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP); Podcast: Healing and Transformation with Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), with Jason Connell. Learn more about working with Jason. [00:16:27] Book: It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self, by Hilary Jacobs Hendel. [00:18:33] Forest School. [00:21:58] Book: Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life, by Peter Gray; Podcast: Free to Learn: Unleashing the Instinct to Play, with Peter Gray, PhD. [00:22:36] Books: The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children, and The Scientist In The Crib: Minds, Brains, And How Children Learn, by Alison Gopnik, PhD. [00:24:54] Book: Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, by David Epstein. [00:25:00] Cohousing; Podcast: Contemplating Cohousing: A Paradigm for Modern Day Tribal Living. [00:25:07] Book: Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding, by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy. [00:26:13] Article: The Nuclear Family Was a Mistake, by David Brooks. [00:26:25] Podcast: The Postmenopausal Longevity Paradox and the Evolutionary Advantage of Our Grandmothering Life History, with Kristin Hawkes, PhD. [00:29:54] Our experience with Workaway.info. [00:38:38] Our Workaway profile.
Kyle talks about: How creating 1,000 videos a year improved the Customer Experience Why this removed the unknowns and what-ifs Why it's important to disrupt the flow of information when educating customers The book that has influenced Kyle the most in the past year: It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self by Hillary Jacobs Hendel: https://amzn.to/3BDsiHt His note to all CX professionals:“Take a 10 minute break in silence. People are so used to doing the next thing, and overcoming problems and not having a lot of time to sit and allow them to hear what our body is telling us. A lot of wisdom happens in the silence...”Transcript: https://press1fornick.com/win-the-house-you-love***ABOUT NICK GLIMSDAHLSubscribe to my weekly newsletterFind me on TwitterFind me on LinkedIn***LISTENER SUPPORTSupport this show through Buy Me A CoffeeBOOK RECOMMENDATIONS:Learn about all the guests book recommendations here: https://press1fornick.com/books/ BROUGHT TO YOU BY:VDS: They are a client-first consulting firm focused on strategy, business outcomes, and technology. They provide holistic consulting services to optimize your customer contact center, inspiring and designing transformational change to modernize and prepare your business for the future. Learn more: https://www.govds.com/ This podcast is under the umbrella of CX of M Radio: https://cxofm.org/Podcast-Shows/ SPONSORING OPPORTUNITIES:Interested in partnering with the Press 1 For Nick podcast? Click here: https://press1fornick.com/lets-talk/ ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Back on the podcast with me today is licensed therapist and certified meditation teacher, Jason Connell. His work focuses on the intersection of evidence-based psychology, philosophy, and enduring insights from the wisdom traditions. His goal is to help his clients develop self-love and self-compassion while solving persistent and challenging problems related to happiness, stress, anxiety, work, relationships, and finding meaning. On this podcast, Jason talks about Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), the approach he uses to foster connection and facilitate positive transformational experiences with his clients. We discuss the goals of this therapeutic method, including the healing of attachment injury, which affects about 50% of the population. You can also listen in as Jason guides me through a short AEDP session right here on the podcast. Here's the outline of this interview with Jason Connell: [00:02:13] People experience greater stress in urban areas; Study: Lederbogen, Florian, et al. "City living and urban upbringing affect neural social stress processing in humans." Nature 474.7352 (2011): 498-501. [00:03:20] Jason's previous NBT podcast: From Magic to Mindfulness: The Evolution of an Entrepreneur. [00:03:33] Book: It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self, by Hilary Jacobs Hendel. [00:03:39] Book: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, by Bessel van der Kolk. [00:06:01] Podcast: The Neurophysiology of Safety and How to Feel Safe, with Stephen Porges. [00:06:43] The need to belong. [00:06:51] Podcast: The Postmenopausal Longevity Paradox and the Evolutionary Advantage of Our Grandmothering Life History, with Kristen Hawkes, PhD. [00:07:53] Change triangle. [00:08:26] Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), founded by Diana Fosha, PhD. [00:10:08] Attachment theory - 50% are securely attached, 50% have attachment injury. [00:12:59] John Bowlby's work on attachment. [00:13:02] Book: Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding, by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy. [00:13:06] Book: Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, by Jessica Fern. [00:26:04] Book: Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion, by Paul Bloom. [00:26:45] Compassion vs. Empathy. [00:28:19] Polyvagal theory. [00:30:54] Physiological safety. [00:32:46] Alexithymia. [00:37:05] AEDP demonstration. [01:02:54] Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) vs. AEDP. [01:12:16] AEDP Practitioner Directory. [01:13:39] Emotional Focused Therapy (couples) and Internal Family Systems (families); Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). [01:14:55] Find Jason at jasonconnell.co.
Michael S. Sorensen is a business executive by day and a bestselling author, speaker, and relationship coach by night. He has helped hundreds of thousands of people across the world heal broken relationships, revitalize their confidence, and become masters of connection in business, love, and life. Unique among others in his field, Michael is not a therapist, social worker, or medical professional. Instead, he gained his knowledge by going to therapy himself—1-2 times per week, for over five years—and voraciously consuming every relationship and self-help book he could get his hands on. On this podcast, Michael talks about one of the most valuable (yet little-known) communication skills - validation. The subject of his book, I Hear You, validation is the key to calming fears and uncertainties, increasing feelings of love and appreciation in relationships, and giving advice and feedback that sticks. Michael shares his 4-step method for validating others (and oneself), talks about how to identify emotions, and shares why validation is such a simple yet powerful interpersonal tool. Here’s the outline of this interview with Michael Sorensen: [00:00:31] Book: I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships, by Michael S. Sorensen. [00:00:43] Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Anna Dow. [00:00:54] Book: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It, by Chris Voss. [00:01:31] How Michael came to the skill of validation. [00:03:38] Defining validation. [00:05:16] Simon Marshall, PhD. [00:06:49] Listening vs. validation. [00:07:45] Podcast: The Postmenopausal Longevity Paradox and the Evolutionary Advantage of Our Grandmothering Life History, with Kristin Hawkes, PhD. [00:09:37] Benefits of validation. [00:11:25] Invalidating statements. [00:14:35] When to validate. [00:15:11] 4 step method: Listen empathically, validate, advice/feedback, validate again. [00:16:56] How to identify emotions. [00:18:16] Emotion wheel. [00:18:56] Podcast: From Magic to Mindfulness: The Evolution of an Entrepreneur, with Jason Connell. [00:19:23] Book: It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self, by Hilary Jacobs Hendel. [00:24:52] Validation vs. reflective listening. [00:27:23] Validating when you don't agree. [00:33:05] Why it’s a short book. [00:34:41] The I Hear You Relationships Podcast. [00:35:35] Validating ourselves. [00:37:32] Find Michael: Amazon, michaelssorensen.com.
The Heart of Jacks PodcastEpisode #14 - A Tantra Primer with Rick LaskaGuest: Rick LaskaReleased March 15, 2021 Sponsored by Woodhull Freedom Foundation at https://woodhullfoundation.orgSupported by Patreon at https://patreon.com/theheartofjacks/ Barking dogs and garage doorsPursuing the bate-life balanceAnd a mindful talk about tantra with Rick Laska Segment 1: Paul wants to talk to you about your "Bate/Life Balance," how adults who masturbate frequently balance this part of their lives with everything else being a grownup requires of us. It may sound strange, but the extension of our cultural reticence with regard to masturbation can leave people in a "denial/release" cycle of cutting out self-pleasure followed by periods of sacrificing everything else. Paul is looking for guest suggestions to chew on this topic of making healthy self-pleasuring a balanced part of our adult lives. Segment 2: Rick Laska is a clinical social worker and certified sex therapist in the Twin Cities Metro Area in Minnesota. He has been involved in the field of sexual health and wellness for over 2 decades. He is passionate about pleasure, intimacy, and connection as well as overcoming the oppressive forces trying to stifle those things. Paul and Rick talk about his path to social work and sex therapy, and dive into the fundamentals of sexual mindfulness and tantra.- - - - -Email the show: podcast@theheartofjacks.comCall the show: 206-580-3120Send your questions and they might be included in future episodes. The Heart of Jacks Podcast, written and produced by Paul RosenbergTheme Music is Carouselophane by Jake Bradford SharpPodcast distribution by Simplecast- - - - -Rick Laska (AASECT profile) Rick Laska (Director of Clinical Services, JustUs Health, St. Paul Minnesota) Mentioned in this podcast: Inspiration:Diana Fosha, PhDAbout Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Esther Perel"Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel" (podcast) "How's Work?" (podcast) "Rethinking infidelity… a talk for anyone who has ever loved" Esther Perel at TED2015 Recommendations:"Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century" by Barbara Carrellas "Tantra for Gay Men" by Bruce Anderson "It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self" by Hilary Jacobs Hendel Sex Education on Netflix
Life is messy - even for pastors. Why? Because they are human.In this episode, Fred Herron, former pastor of the Vineyard mega church in Kansas City joins us to share his story of how insomnia and ministry burn out led him down a dark path that ultimately caused him to spin out of control and be removed from his church. From pedestal to the front page of the Sunday edition of the Kansas City Star, Fred calls himself a prodigal pastor. His story is both gut-wrenching and refreshing for all of us who struggle with being the "perfect" Christian. Now, two years later, Fred is brutally honest about his recovery, his shame and how he is trying to find hope again, both in his heart and in his work as he has launched Spirituality Adventures - a nonjudgmental place to explore spirituality. Special Guest: Fred HerronTo learn more about Fred's story, listen to his podcast Spirituality Adventures, or go to www.RealFredHerron.com. Resources on emotional intelligence:It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self by Hilary Jacobs HendelPermission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Marc Brackett
“Ultimately the goal is to communicate our wants, needs, fears and boundaries confidently and effectively.” – Hilary Jacobs HendelPsychotherapist and author of It's Not Always Depression: Working the change triangle to listen to the body, Discover Core Emotions and Reconnect with Your Authentic Self talks about the importance of emotional education to help us connect to each other and ourselves. In this conversation, we talk about how emotions live in the body, why we avoid feelings and how to judging them, slowing down, the power of feeling, dealing and relating, the different types of shame, guilt and boundaries, moving through small traumas, how we are made up of parts, and how something as simple as learning to take a compliment can help us sit with emotions.Find more resources at www.hilaryjacobshendel.com* * *Support this podcast on Patreon with a monthly pledge, or join for virtual Momentum Mornings deep work sessions. To stay tuned, please subscribe to the show wherever you hear your podcasts and sign up to the semi-regular Extraordinary Routines newsletter.This podcast is produced and edited by Madeleine Dore. Special thanks to Nelson Dore for the theme music and Ellen Porteus for the cover art.
Depression and anxiety are not what you think they are, according to my guest. Often thought of as presenting problems in their own right, it might make more sense to think of them as clusters of symptoms deriving from underlying problems knowing and working with our core emotions. In her new book, It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (2018, Random House), Hilary Jacobs Hendel debunks common myths about what it means to be ‘depressed' or ‘anxious' and offers a fresh approach for working through these symptoms, using the Change Triangle. In our interview, we discuss how anyone can put the Change Triangle to work in order to relieve suffering and improve emotional awareness. We also address the key role trauma plays in the development of depression and anxiety symptoms, and how such trauma can be healed. This episode is for anyone wishing to gain lasting relief from long-standing emotional difficulties and become more connection with their emotional lives. Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a licensed clinical social worker who received her B.A. in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals. She also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC's Mad Men. She lives in New York City. Eugenio Duarte, Ph.D. is a psychologist and psychoanalyst practicing in Miami. He treats individuals and couples, with specialties in gender and sexuality, eating and body image problems, and relationship issues. He is a graduate and faculty of William Alanson White Institute in Psychiatry, Psychoanalysis, and Psychology in New York City and former chair of their LGBTQ Study Group; and faculty at Florida Psychoanalytic Institute in Miami. He is also a contributing author to the book Introduction to Contemporary Psychoanalysis: Defining Terms and Building Bridges (2018, Routledge). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/psychology
Depression and anxiety are not what you think they are, according to my guest. Often thought of as presenting problems in their own right, it might make more sense to think of them as clusters of symptoms deriving from underlying problems knowing and working with our core emotions. In her new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (2018, Random House), Hilary Jacobs Hendel debunks common myths about what it means to be ‘depressed’ or ‘anxious’ and offers a fresh approach for working through these symptoms, using the Change Triangle. In our interview, we discuss how anyone can put the Change Triangle to work in order to relieve suffering and improve emotional awareness. We also address the key role trauma plays in the development of depression and anxiety symptoms, and how such trauma can be healed. This episode is for anyone wishing to gain lasting relief from long-standing emotional difficulties and become more connection with their emotional lives. Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a licensed clinical social worker who received her B.A. in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals. She also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. She lives in New York City. Eugenio Duarte, Ph.D. is a psychologist and psychoanalyst practicing in Miami. He treats individuals and couples, with specialties in gender and sexuality, eating and body image problems, and relationship issues. He is a graduate and faculty of William Alanson White Institute in Psychiatry, Psychoanalysis, and Psychology in New York City and former chair of their LGBTQ Study Group; and faculty at Florida Psychoanalytic Institute in Miami. He is also a contributing author to the book Introduction to Contemporary Psychoanalysis: Defining Terms and Building Bridges (2018, Routledge). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Become A Love Tribe Member Today — When you become a Love Tribe Member, you'll gain access to exclusive, ad-free content not available on our regular, free feed. The membership provides you even more amazing and actionable relationship advice from the world's leading experts. Sign Up Here! Understanding our emotions is a fundamental requirement for personal and relationship growth. Listen to today's episode to learn how to better understand your emotions, share with your partner and connect more deeply. In this episode, we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Understanding how emotions work in the mind and body How to work safely with our emotions and accept ourselves The importance of learning how to tune into our body's sensations How to deal with emotions like jealousy and process these emotions How to communicate your emotions with your partner in the most productive ways ++ BONUS++ round of questions for Love Tribe Members Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, is author of the critically acclaimed and two-time award-winning book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, Feb. 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for well being is read worldwide. Full show notes and episode links at: https://idopodcast.com/258 Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! New Podcast Series: Love Under Quarantine Sign up for our 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge here: 14 Day Happy Couples Challenge Join our 5 Day Couples Appreciation Challenge here: idopodcast.com/appreciation Do you want to hear more on this topic? Continue the conversation on our Facebook Group here: Love Tribe Sponsors Uberlube is a luxurious, high-grade silicone lubricant made from clean, body-friendly ingredients. Get 10% off and free shipping when you use our code “IDo” at UberLube.com. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Chase & Sarah
In light of the coronavirus, this is going to be the first of many episodes in which I’ll be offering you tools to manage your overwhelming emotions at this time of unprecedented worldwide pandemic and self-quarantining. It’s only natural for us all to be experiencing some degree of anxiety, fear, sadness, loss, confusion, overwhelm during this time. There is so much unknown, there are so many plans that we’ve had to cancel or postpone, there is loneliness, isolation and of course our emotions will be along for the ride. Having tools to know what to do when these emotions start to take over will be more helpful now than ever. In this episode, I interview psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel who guides us through a framework known as the change triangle to map where our emotions are, and how to notice when our inhibitory emotions (such as anxiety, shame and guilt) or defensive emotions (such as depression, resistance, addiction, denial, etc…) are blocking us from feeling our core emotions (joy, sadness, fear, anger, disgust or excitement). I also add the framework of mindfulness for how we can name our emotions to be able to calm our brain and body. To learn more about Hilary and her work: Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, takes the complex world of emotions and makes them easy to understand and work with for greater peace, calm and confidence. She is the developer of the Change Triangle tool for emotional health. Hilary is also the author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, "It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self" (Random House, 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hilary also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit: www.hilaryjacobshendel.com Website: www.hilaryjacobshendel.com Blog: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/hilarys-blog Facebook: Facebook.com/AuthorHilaryJacobsHendel Twitter: @HilaryJHendel Instagram: Hilary Jacobs Hendel The Change Triangle YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxRHckyznerWhoSkPBozgfA Order It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018): https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Always-Depression-Authentic/dp/0399588140/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1571581643&sr=8-1
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, takes the complex world of emotions and makes them easy to understand and work with for greater peace, calm and confidence. She is the developer of the Change Triangle tool for emotional health. Hilary is also the author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, "It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self" (Random House, 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hilary also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC's Mad Men. Hilary's blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit: Hilaryjacobshendel.com Facebook: Facebook.com/AuthorHilaryJacobsHendel Twitter: @HilaryJHendel Instagram: Hilary Jacobs Hendel The Change Triangle on YouTube Order It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018): --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thebarbershopgroup/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thebarbershopgroup/support
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, is an emotion educator, as well as a psychoanalyst and experiential trauma therapist in private practice. She is the developer of the Change Triangle tool for emotional health. Hilary is also the author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, “It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self” (Random House, 2018). She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hilary also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC's Mad Men. Hilary's blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit: Hilaryjacobshendel.com
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, takes the complex world of emotions and makes them easy to understand and work with for greater peace, calm and confidence. She is the developer of the Change Triangle tool for emotional health. Hilary is also the author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, "It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self" (Random House, 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hilary also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit: Hilaryjacobshendel.com Book Club Launching Nov. 4th - Sign Up HERE. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Every single human has surely suffered with feeling invalidated for their emotions. Author of ’It’s Not Always Depression’ and psychotherapist, Hilary Jacobs Hendel joined us to explore her ground-breaking work on emotions. Many of us have never really learned the true anatomy of our emotions. As Hilary explains, we can build our lives around avoiding the true feeling of our emotions. For many of us our early experiences with emotions involved us being told to ‘get over it’ in one way or another. Fully embracing emotions like anger and hurt means going against our conditioning, and some of these emotions seem downright scary. Could we end up lashing out in rage? Or could embracing our pain actually open the pathway toward calm, composure and compassion? Hilary walks us through the model she uses that allows people to experience - often for the first time in their lives - how to fully feel a feeling, and the freedom that this experiences offers us. 1.30 mins - Introduction to the Break up Recovery course. 4 mins - Introduction to Hilary Jacobs Hendel. 6 mins - Emotions are involuntary physical responses, we cannot just ‘get over them’. 9 mins - What are positive emotions - expansive experiences, what does it feel like to allow them to arise? 14 mins - “It runs in the family” the narrative of inherited patterns. 18 mins - What is anxiety and how does it exist within the body? 22 mins - Understanding the change triangle and the impact of shame. 29 mins - Experiencing the full emotional wave, the emotional experience of anger. 39 mins - Moving though childhood trauma. 47 mins - How do we know if we have suppressed core emotions? 54 mins - I feel therefore I am. 1hr 3mins - Working through other peoples emotions. 1hr 18mins - Free resources from Hilary Jacobs Hendel. Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, takes the complex world of emotions and makes them easy to understand for all. She is author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit: Hilaryjacobshendel.com Find out more about the Change Triangle Here It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel
Author of "It's Not Always Depression," Hilary Jacobs Hendel joins me to discuss: how shame can look like depression7 core emotions3 inhibiting emotions5 defensive emotionsusing fantasy to manage moodshow to resolve childhood traumashow to manage positive emotionsbenefits of shame, anxiety and guilthow to address conflicting emotionsAEDP (accelerated experiential dynamic processing)Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, is author of the critically acclaimed and two-time award-winning book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, Feb. 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and mental health, visit: Hilaryjacobshendel.comFor more information, free resources for mental health, and Hilary's blog visit: https://www.hilaryjacobshendel.com/FB: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorHilaryJacobsHendel/Twitter: @HilaryJHendelInstagram: Hilary Jacobs HendelThe Change Triangle YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxRHckyznerWhoSkPBozgfA
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, is author of the book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018). She received her BA in biochemistry from Wesleyan University and an MSW from Fordham University. She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, Time, Oprah.com, and professional journals. Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Free resources at hilaryjacobshendel.com.
How do you respond to your child when they get angry at you? Is your answer or reaction also one of anger? Wouldn’t it be great if we understood what emotions get triggered in us that make us respond the way we do? This podcast with Hilary Jacobs Hendel will help you answer these questions. Hilary has written a book called “It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self.” While the title might lead you to think this book is about therapy or psychoanalysis, there is a lot in it to help parents understand where our emotions come from and how we can respond differently to our kids when they are upset; we can also teach them how to deal with their emotions, rather than throwing up defenses to avoid them. You can find Hilary at www.Hilaryjacobshendel.com and her book will be released tomorrow – February 6th. It’s available now at Amazon.