Today's most successful leaders share their incredible stories and life lessons to help you get the life you want in the areas of health, wealth, relationships and personal growth. Every show is jam packed with actionable tips and insights that will propel you forward to become the man you want to b…
Jimmy Rex is among the nation's leading realtors having sold over 2000 properties and is also an investor in over a dozen companies. He is the coauthor of You End Up Where You're Heading: The Hidden Dangers of Living a Safe Life available on amazon. Learn more about the work I do with clients helping them build their confidence, adventurous social lives and high quality romantic relationships. https://www.kfmcoach.com
Mike Matthews shares how COVID has impacted his fitness and supplement business along with the growth he's had in recent years and key lessons on financial freedom that every man needs to consider. Check out Mike at: https://legionathletics.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG Learn more about my men's coaching program helping guys reach their full potential in life and relationships: www.kfmlive.com
A great episode here diving into the mind of the cofounder of Pura Vida Bracelets Griffin Thall. He walks us through the birth of the brand and it's impact on his lifestyle, happiness and freedom. I found his insights counter to the common narrative of hustle at all costs over having a life worth living. Enjoy! Learn more about the work I do with men with building their confidence, social lives and relationships here.
Mason Thomas shares his incredible story of building Superior Labs a supplement brand from the trunk of his car to 7 figures on amazon. https://superiorlabs.com/ Learn more about how you can work with Andrew Ferebee and his coaching team to maximize the quality of your life and relationship: www.kfmcoach.com
Gordon Miller is, without a doubt, one of the “realest” entrepreneurs I’ve ever had the pleasure of interviewing. Unlike the myriad of “Influencer-preneurs”, Gordon is a relatively unknown mogul who has generated multiple 9-figures across several highly technical industries and landed dozens of 7 and 8-figure government contracts. If you want to learn how to grow a business the right way, his raw, no-nonsense style will put you on the fast track to success and teach you what it really takes to build $100 million in value. Who is Gordon Miller? Gordon Miller has devoted more than 30 years to the pursuit of excellence in design and innovation. An accomplished designer and engineer in his own right, Mr. Miller first focused his attention on K-12 and higher education solutions and then corporate websites, decision support systems and now mobile applications and data aggregation. As CEO of G3 Systems, Inc. since 1993, Mr. Miller has developed a rapidly expanding base of mission-critical government projects including efforts for the US Dept. of Defense, US Navy, US Army, US Dept. of Education, US Dept. of Housing and Urban Development, US Dept. of State and US Dept. of Homeland Security. As CEO of G3i Ventures, LLC, Mr. Miller has co-founded, launched or funded a total of 8 companies. Gordon’s Favorite Success Quote “You are the average of the five people that you surround yourself with most” ~Jim Rohn Key Points from my Interview with Gordon Miller 1. Your Network Determines Your Networth Do you want to know how to really “get rich quick”? Do you want to know the fastest way to achieve massive amounts of wealth and success? It’s actually pretty simple… Level up your network. That’s it. The quickest way to exponentially increase your results in your life, your bank account, and your body is to hang around people who already have what you want and more. When you are constantly spending time around low caliber individuals who are worried about making rent, have fixed mindsets, and who let you rest on your laurels, you will eventually become complacent and begin to stagnate and die. There’s no way around it. But if you are around people who are playing the game of life at a higher level than you are, if you are around people who are true hustlers and game changers, they will start to rub off on you. You will begin to see the world through the lens of the player instead of the spectator. More importantly, you will have access to deals, opportunities, and investments that the general public doesn’t even know about (let alone know how to take advantage of). You’ll get objective eyes on your business, no-holds-barred accountability and proven systems from men who’ve been “in the trenches” for decades. So I want you to commit right now, that no matter what happens this year, you will find a group of men who are playing the game of life at a higher level than you are and get around them. Your success depends on it. 2. Fall in Love with the Process One of the biggest mistakes that people make is that they are outcome-oriented, not process-oriented. In this moment, you might think that you will find satisfaction by purchasing that big house, the yacht, or the car. But what happens after you are done? What happens when the transaction concludes and you have your “dream”? You are left to your own devices once again and asked to find fulfillment and joy in yet another set of goals and outcomes. You are constantly chasing something that you can never catch, because there is always another goal to achieve, another benchmark to hit, and another level to breakthrough. But what if I told you that you could achieve all of the joy, happiness, and fulfillment that you desire right now in this very moment? Well, you can. All you must do is learn to love the process. Learn to love the hustle and the grind as you work towards your dreams. Learn to love the work, not the rewards and your life will change forever. In my own business, I discovered long ago that my passion for writing amazing content, interviewing badasses, and changing lives supersede any financial reward or acclaim that this work offers to me. There is no tomorrow, the only time that you have is right now… So make damn sure that you are enjoying it. 3. Live Below Your Means and Put Money Away One of the biggest mistakes made by most people in their 20’s is spending money like they will live forever. Statistically speaking, if you are under 30 reading this right now, you will likely live well past 90 years old. Do you really want to be working your ass off and hustling like a college graduate at that age? If the answer is “No” then you need to start saving and investing money, immediately. Do whatever you need to do to set aside at least $500 a month every single month and invest it into a money market account or low-risk index fund. If you can do this, then you will be a millionaire by the time you are 60. Period. 4. Get Out There and Do It In our age of social media and hyper-connection, everyone loves to talk. They love to talk about entrepreneurship, about how they are going to start a business, about how they are going to quit their job, or how they are going to make it big. Here’s a revolutionary idea… Stop talking about it. Get out there and do it! The world belongs to those who do. So stop running your mouth and start moving your feet. As Nike says… Just DO IT! 5. Own Your Mistakes and MOVE ON You are going to make mistakes. That is simply part of the human experience. You aren’t perfect and you shouldn’t expect to be. Mistakes are not only normal they are necessary. So learn from your mistakes and move on. Don’t dwell in the past, wishing that you could have done it differently. Decide to do it differently today. You only have the present moment, don’t waste it wishing that things could be different. They aren’t. What is done is done. All that you can do is learn from it and move on.
My buddy Matt Decelles shares how he started William Painter a popular men's sunglass brand that has taken the industry by storm. His philosophies on life, business and investment are eye opening and worth every second. Enjoy the jam! Check out: williampainter.com and @mattdecelles on twitter Learn how to work with Andrew to improve confidence, social life and relationships: www.kfmlive.com
Bedros Keuilian is the fitness industry’s most trusted consultant. His various fitness businesses are designed to enable trainers to maximize their earning potential with revolutionary industry techniques. Before constructing his fitness empire, Bedros owned five fitness gyms at once. After revamping his business model with direct response marketing and sales techniques, he began earning profit margins totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars from these locations alone. He would then go on to found Fit Body Boot Camp. As the CEO and founder of Fit Body, currently the world’s fastest growing fitness chain, Bedros practices what he preaches, implementing the same formula for success that he brings to his fitness clients worldwide. Fit Body was recently listed as one of Inc. 5000’s fastest growing businesses of 2016. Favorite Success Quotes “How you do anything is how you do everything” “Circumstances do not change responsibility” Key Points 1. Your Responsibilities Aren’t Affected by Your Circumstances The vast majority of modern men have been castrated by a societal conditioning that tells them it’s “ok” to shirk their responsibilities. Men who allow the whims of their emotions and their day to day circumstances to dictate their actions and responses. We see men who allow the whims of their emotions and their day to day circumstances to dictate their actions and responses. Fathers who ignore their duties to their children, husbands who shrug off their responsibilities to their wives, and workers who simply aren’t willing to put in the work necessary to keep their clients happy. And as a result, our society has been left scratching its head in confusion wondering “Where have all the real men gone”? The real men are still out there… They are just harder to find. They are the men who do not allow their feelings and problems to interfere with their duties. The men who provide for their families, prioritize their relationships and take care of their bodies. The men who are willing to say no to luxuries and parties now so that they can have an incredible quality of life for their family later. Are you one of those men? 2. Resourcefulness is the Ultimate Resource Markets crash, businesses crumble, people die, and life happens. So what? The greatest breakthroughs of human history have often come in times where resources were slim and things were looking grim. But a handful of (now) iconic individuals were willing to look at the circumstances and negative situation and see it for what it was… An opportunity. You see, if you are resourceful enough, no circumstance or turmoil will prevent you from success. You can always find a way to make money and create a life of happiness and freedom for yourself. You must simply learn to look for it. Resourcefulness is your greatest resource in the tumultuous and unpredictable world that we live in. If you can learn to cultivate this trait in yourself and others, you will find a way to be successful. No matter what. 3. Despite What You’ve Been Told, Work-Life Balance Is Crucial With the proliferation of the “Hustlers” mentality and the idea that grinding it out 24/7 365 is the only way to success, many of you are operating under the misguided belief that work-life balance is b.s. Well… It’s not. Bedros found this out first hand when, after several consecutive months of high-stress projects, he snapped and suffered from multiple anxiety attacks (initially mistaking them for heart attacks). These episodes scared Bedros into making a change and, after kicking and clawing his way through the transition, he began to ease himself out of business scenarios that he found stressful. He cut back on his time in the office, started prioritizing his health and family again, and learned to delegate and outsource like crazy. And now… He’s healthier, wealthier, and happier than ever before. Hustling your way to the top is great. Grinding and working hard are great. But they must be tempered by taking a step back and making time for yourself and your family. 4. The Quickest Way to Overcome Adversity is to Reframe It Life can suck. Things happen and circumstances outside of your control can knock you on your ass. But the quickest way to overcome any adversity is to reframe it. Learn to see challenges as opportunities. Learn to see setbacks as an opportunity to grow. Learn to see failure as education. The more that you can reframe the difficult things in life, the easier they will become. This will not make your problems go away… But it will make them easier to deal with. 5. All Success is Preceded by Risk If you want real success, you are going to have to take real risks. End of story. For the majority of A+ players, every big breakthrough, achievement, and milestone were preceded by even bigger risks. For some people this meant a breakup, for others, taking out a line of credit to fund a business, and for others still, it was dropping out of college and pursuing their dreams of their own volition, without the help of mom and dad. For Bedros, risk has come in many forms, from turning down six-figure job offers to taking out tens of thousands of dollars in credit, to leveraging his house, to purchasing a $4 million office space. But all of these risks ended paid off in the long run. And while you are on your own unique path to success, you must remember that you will be required to take risks and make sacrifices that are uncomfortable. But when you do… You will have no choice but success. And that’s where the real magic happens.
William H. McRaven is a former United States Navy admiral who last served as the ninth commander of the United States Special Operations Command from August 8, 2011, to August 28, 2014. Since January 2015, he has served as the chancellor of The University of Texas System. McRaven previously served from June 13, 2008, to August 2011 as Commander, Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) and from June 2006 to March 2008 as Commander, Special Operations Command Europe (SOCEUR). In addition to his duties as COMSOCEUR, he was designated as the first director of the NATO Special Operations Forces Coordination Centre (NSCC), where he was charged with enhancing the capabilities and inter-operability of all NATO Special Operations Forces. Admiral McRaven retired from the Navy on August 28, 2014, after more than 37 years of service. Favorite Success Quote If by Rudyard Kipling Key Points 1. Focus on Doing Your Duties Now Success in life doesn’t come from focusing on what you are going to do in the future. It comes from focusing all of your attention on the tasks that are in front of you right now. Yes, you should have goals, dreams, and aspirations. However, do not allow these dreams and aspirations to rule the present moment. Instead, focus on the now, focus on what is right in front of you, focus more on the next 24 hours and less on the next 24 years. The quickest way to achieve success (whatever your definition of success might be) is to have a plan and then execute on that plan, day in and day out. Do your duties now and allow tomorrow to take care of itself. 2. You Can’t Make it Alone Many men like to think that they are an island, they like to believe that they are the Alpha and Omega of their lives. Until one day, they are struck by the very harsh reality that they are not. No man, regardless of size, intelligence or other capability has ever “made it” on this planet by themselves. We were designed for community and teamwork. One of the fastest ways to achieve your mission, whether that is in business, in your health, or in your relationships is to surround yourself with amazing, like-minded individuals who can help support you and push you along the journey. With a tight-knit circle of influence, you will be able to accelerate your results, find your blind spots, and receive help when you are outside of your comfort zone. And more than that, you will have more fun! Life is a team sport, it’s meant to be played with other people. So eradicate the erroneous notion that real men do it alone. Build your tribe and have a blast doing it. 3. What Are You Really Made of? So often in our modern society, we are quick to judge others (and ourselves) on external factors like height, weight, attractiveness, financial success, and social capital. But we forget that our worth is defined by how much heart we have, not how much money or muscle we have. A person’s worth is defined by what’s inside. Admiral McRaven illustrates this point perfectly in his book when he shares the story of Thomas Norris, a Navy Seal who was awarded the congressional medal of honor. During training, nearly all of his classmates assumed that Tom would fail. He was short, skinny, and out of shape compared to the other men. However, Tom had a level of internal fortitude, mental strength, and heart that few men in the world display. And his bravery was exemplified repeatedly on the battlefield, especially during the infamous rescue mission that lead to his Congressional Medal of Honor. Like Tom, many of you might not be what comes to mind physically when people think of an “Alpha” or a “Real Man”. But that isn’t what matters. What are you made of? Who are you? What is your character like when everything goes wrong and your life is spiraling out of control? That is what determines your worth as a man. 4. You Are Going to Fail Read that again. You are going to fail. I don’t care how good you are, how smart you are, or how strong you are. Life will kick you to the curb and beat you senseless at some point in your existence. This isn’t a speculation. It’s fact. You are going to fail! You might not face the catastrophic failures that come to mind when you hear the word, but at some point in your life, you will be faced with a situation, a business deal, a relationship, or a physical challenge that you simply cannot surmount. So get over it. Stop letting this fear of failure rule you and accept that failure is inevitable. Failure is a sign of life, it is a sign that you are trying to push the envelope forward and a sign that you are growing into the man you need to be. So get used to failing. If you do anything of worth in this life, it is going to become a pretty common occurrence. 5. Your Bank Account Doesn’t Determine Your Success Many men operate under the flawed ideology that the more 0’s they have in their bank accounts, the more successful they are. This simply isn’t true. Yes, money is important, and you should certainly strive to earn enough to enjoy your life, be comfortable, and have enough left over to share. But it is not the end all be all to success. Who are you? How is your character? How do you treat others? How is your marriage? These are the things that determine a man’s success. If you are surrounded by good friends, have a happy, loving relationship with your wife, are in good health, and positively impact the world on a regular basis, then congratulations… You have achieved success.
Mike Sill the founder of Sunday Scaries a popular CBD brand shares his story, trials and tribulations. sundayscaries.com use promo code KFM for 20% off, discount will end soon! Become a stronger grounded man, build a high status social life and epic dating life/relationships at kfmlive.com and Andrew Ferebee can personally coach you.
Sam Upton is an actor and writer known for his roles in The Lincoln Lawyer, Gone, and Stand Up Guys. He is also the director and main actor in his most recent movie, Gun. Favorite Success Quote “The greatest revenge is success” ~Frank Sinatra Key Points 1. No One’s Going to Give it To You We live in an era of entitlement. The current generation is filled with individuals who have never had to work for anything in their lives, never had to sweat for a goal, and never had to bleed for their dreams. When reality sets in, and they realize that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, they panic and cry and loudly scream about how “unfair” life is. Well here’s a little newsflash. Life’s not fair… And no one gives a shit. No one cares enough about you to make your dreams happen for you. If you want something bad enough, then go and get it. Don’t ask for permission, get off your ass and go get it. The sweet nectar of success is reserved for those rare individuals just like you who make the definite decision to become the master of their own fate and the captain of their own destiny. Those individuals who are, as Theodore Roosevelt put it, “Actually in the arena with their faces marred by sweat and tears and blood.” Those are the individuals who shape the world, create great art, build massive wealth, and live a life of happiness and prosperity along the way. What about you? Are you going to bitch and moan and whine about how unfair life is, or are you going to accept your challenges and circumstances and make the definite decision to go out and get what’s yours? Only you can decide. 2. Stop Giving a Fuck One of the greatest truths of life is this… The fewer fucks you give, the better life you will live. It’s that simple. People in the 21st century simply care too much about the wrong things. We allow the denigrating remarks of passersby’s and internet trolls to damage our self-esteem and derail our mission. We allow the opinions of people who have done next to nothing for us to determine what path we will take and what passions we will pursue. We allow the push and pull of society to rope us into lives that we never wanted to live surrounded by people that we’ve never liked working for a cause that we never believed in. And there’s a simple solution to all these problems. Stop giving a fuck. The less time and energy you allow yourself to waste on the petty garbage and insignificant opinions, the happier you will be. If you are on your purpose, on your mission, and on your path, if you are doing the things that are meaningful to you and waking up each day with a smile, then the rest can fade away into the background. 3. Unplug and Spend Time In Life We live in such a hyper-connected world that the vast majority of people no longer experience life through their own eyes, they experience it through the lens of the latest smartphone. Instead of going out on dates and connecting with the person across from us, we waste our time Tweeting and texting and Instagramming. Instead of spending time with our wives and children, we waste our evenings surfing social media and watching B-grade, uninspiring garbage on the internet. We aren’t living anymore dammit! And it’s starting to show. Depression, loneliness, and suicide are at record highs (especially among men) and yet we continue moving through life like zombies, attached to our screens. So let me challenge you to change that. Put your damn phone down for an evening. Spend real quality time with your wife and kids. Go hang out with a friend and leave your phones at home. Spend time by yourself with your own thoughts and no stimulation (you just might come up with some phenomenal ideas). Learn to let go of the need for constant stimulation and I promise that your life will be better for it. 4. The Act of Doing Makes You a Success As men, it is easy to tie our self-worth and perception of our own success to external things. We believe that we are only a success if we have the beautiful girl, the 7-figure business, the Lamborghini, the fame, and the body. But the truth of the matter is that the very act of doing and pursuing our goals is what makes us a success. If you are getting up every day, putting your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel in pursuit of a higher vision and calling, then you are a success. You will not become a success when you achieve some arbitrary goal or ideal, you are a success right now so long as you are in pursuit. So long as you stay hungry, so long as you put in the work, and so long as you never give up, you can go to bed knowing that you are a success regardless of the external circusmtances in your life. 5. F*ck your Feelings and Do What’s Right There are only two kinds of people in the world, hedonists and stoics. A hedonist does whatever it takes to feel good, a stoic does what is right whether it feels good or not… And unfortunately, we live in a time that is filled to the brim with hedonists. The vast majority of our society allow their whims, emotions, and feelings to dictate their actions instead of their dreams, visions, and moral code. And the results have been pretty catastrophic. If you want to break away from the herd, away from the men who, as Thoreau put it “Lead lives of quiet desperation” then you must master your emotions, thoughts, and actions and force yourself to do what is right even when you don’t feel like it. No… Especially when you don’t feel like it. Fuck your feelings. No one cares how you feel or what emotions are going through your head. You have a responsibility to do what is right regardless of your emotions. So quit trying to feel good and start doing good.
Robb Wolf is a former biochemist, a health expert, and author of “The Paleo Solution” and (more recently) “Wired to Eat“. Robb is also a consultant at the Naval Special Warfare Resiliency Program. Favorite Success Quote “Fear is the mind eater” Key Points 1. Understand that We are Hard-Wired for a Different Time One of the biggest problems facing the human race in 2017 (especially those of us living in developed countries) is not terrorism, global warming, or political turmoil… It’s evolutionary mismatch. As a society, we are becoming fatter, more depressed, more anxious, and less social than we have ever been and it is killing us. Obesity is at an all time high, suicide continues to be a leading cause of death (especially among men), more people than ever before are reliant on anti-anxiety and depression medication, and the general populous feels more disconnected than ever before. The simple reason for this is that we are not designed to live in this world. We were designed to walk dozens of miles each day, catch our own meals, live in a close-knit tribe, have regular sex, raise children and die. And nothing could look more different from how we evolved to live than how we are currently living in 2017. While there are dozens of books written on this topic and plenty of solutions to the problem, my goal here is simply to acknowledge what’s going on so that you properly understand the situation and realize that there is hope. Things can change and you can live a healthier, happier, more vibrant life than ever before… But you first have to address the problem. 2. Understand the Importance of Bio-Individuality Even though we understand the problem (evolutionary mismatch), the solution isn’t as cut and dry as one might assume. While there are certainly axiomatic principles that can help you level up your health in record time (follow your circadian rhythm, eat more real foods, and exercise more) the specifics are actually highly bio-individual. What works for one person will not necessarily work for another, because every body is different. Your body responds to substances, sleep patterns, forms of exercise, and supplementation differently from your best friend’s body which responds differently from his girlfriend’s body. This means that you must adopt a very scientific approach to your health. No, you don’t need to go full Tim Ferriss and test hormone levels every night and sleep with crazy wired machines attached to your head. You just need to realize that achieving perfect health is an individual journey and requires experimentation and testing. Try out different methods and techniques and see what works for you. 3. Take Time Each Month to Serve Others Many of you are feeling lost and off purpose. Many of you feel lonely and disconnected. And one of the primary reasons for this is that you are disconnected from other people. Most of us live our lives in a box where we are constantly focused on ourselves, our problems, and our goals. And few of us are ever willing to take a step back and get outside of that box, causing us to feel like we are on the journey alone. If you want to break out of this box, reconnect with others, and gain some perspective on your problems, then I highly recommend that you take some time each month to go volunteer and serve others. This isn’t just a philanthropic thing. Loneliness has been linked to a number of different diseases and problems. So much so that some studies claim lacking a real social circle is worse for you than smoking a pack a day. When you get out of your bubble and go serve those who are in a worse spot than you are, not only will you connect with like-minded individuals and improve your circle of friends, but you will also reframe your problems and stresses, allowing you to handle the challenges of everyday life in a much more effective manner. I know that this particular piece of advice might seem a little “out there” but I challenge you to give it a go. All it takes is a few hours a month, and not only will you be doing good for others, but you might just find your own life changing in the process. 4. Surround Yourself with People Who are Smarter than You One of the first steps to becoming a more successful in all areas of your life is to surround yourself with people who are better than you in every area of life. If you want to improve your bank account, get around millionaires. If you want to improve your body, befriend competitive athletes. If you want to improve your love life, go hang out with the town “Casanova”. When you are intentional about surrounding yourself with the right people, you will find every area of your life accelerating. They will be able to point out your blind spots, call you on your bullshit, and elevate your thought processes to an entirely new level. Jim Rohn said it best, “You are the average of the five people you spend your time with most.” So be damn selective about who you are spending your time with. 5. Increase Your Income and Decrease Your Expenses While it might seem strange to include financial advice in an article and interview with one of the world’s leading health experts, this one piece of advice could actually have a bigger impact on your health than anything else we’ve discussed so far. How? Because quite simply, money freaking matters. When you are broke, living paycheck to paycheck, your life is harder, plain and simple. That isn’t to say that you can’t be happy, but rather that your overall quality of life is drastically diminished when you lack financial resources. When you are stressed about money, your cortisol levels will shoot through the roof, you will feel like you have less time to spend with the people that you love, you will not be able to afford the food, supplements, and gadgets that can take your health to new levels, and you will not have sufficient time to rest, recover, and recharge. In other words, you are digging yourself an early grave. So if you want to optimize your health, your relationships, and your sense of well-being, optimize your income and expenses. While the number and lifestyle will look different for everyone, a good baseline goal is $75,000/year ($100,000 for those who live in expensive cities). Even though it might be outside the realm of your imagination right now, it’s a very achievable income regardless of your current skills and abilities. And once you can regularly make this income, while reducing your expenses, and working reasonable hours, you will find that your quality of life elevates to new heights.
Mark Goblowsky is an air force veteran, career martial artist, podcaster, author, and entrepreneur. He is on a mission to help others overcome the obstacles in their life based on his own experiences. Favorite Success Quote “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years” ~Bill Gates Key Points 1. Practice Your “Kung Fu” The martial art kung fu literally translates into two words. Effort and time. And the only things that are standing between you and your goals are these two factors. If you can become a master of Kung Fu, a master at putting in the effort over time, you will succeed. We all want to achieve great things, we all want a great life. We want the business, the relationships, and the body. And you can have it! You can have it all. But you must be willing to approach life through the lens of Kung Fu. Put in the effort, be patient with the time, and you will succeed. Because at the end of the day, time is going to pass whether you are doing what you love and pursuing your goals or not. So stop worrying about the outcome and get busy doing what you need to do to create the life that you want to live. If you are willing to be patient, to stick through it when times are tough, and to trudge forward even in the face of adversity, at the end of the day, you will be successful. No one who was truly committed to their craft, dream, or ambition for more than a decade fails. You will have failures along the way, yes. But at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done if you are willing to keep doing the work year in and year out especially when it’s hard, you will succeed. 2. If You Aren’t Happy on the Journey You Won’t Be Happy at the Destination There is a pervasive myth in society that “One day” we will be happy. We believe that when we finally have the six pack, the 7-figure company, the beautiful girlfriend, the house on the beach or the sports car then we will be happy. But the truth is that happiness can be experienced right here and now. And not only can it be experienced now, it must be experienced now. Because if you are not happy on the journey, you will rarely find happiness at the destination. If you cannot learn to be happy while you are building your business, you will not be happy when you sell it for $10 million. If you cannot learn to be happy while you are training your body and building your physique, you will not be happy when you finally attain the look you’ve been longing for. If you cannot allow yourself to be happy while you work to find the woman of your dreams, no relationship will ultimately satisfy you. Happiness is a choice, and if you aren’t choosing to be happy along the journey, you will arrive at the destination and wonder “Is this it?” 3. Resistance Gives You Strength Most of you reading this want to become stronger. In all areas of your life. But what most of you don’t realize is that strength doesn’t come from ease. If you go to the gym every single day of your life from now until you die and all you do is push against the air, you will never get stronger, you will never build a strong body, and you will never force your muscles to grow. To become stronger, you must push against resistance, you must struggle, you must sweat, and you must bleed. And this doesn’t just apply to the gym. If you want your relationship to be stronger, you will have to face resistance. You cannot have a thriving marriage and never face adversity together. Because it is in times of struggle when love is truly born. It’s only when your marriage is facing resistance in some form or another that it is strengthened. In your business, you will never achieve success if you stay in your comfort zone and never face resistance. Success in business mandates failures. It mandates struggles and resistance that force you to grow, adapt, and evolve with the times. So embrace resistance, for it gives you strength. 4. Understand What is Truly Important When Mark’s son was a young boy, he and his mother were in a terrible hit and run car accident with a semi-truck. His son suffered from a traumatic brain injury and now suffers from disabilities that will affect the rest of his life. When he got the call that his son was in a coma, how do you think Mark responded? Did he say “Gee, that really sucks… But I’ve got to finish up this project at work” Or “Wow! I will be there later, but I just really need to close this client… They’re worth a lot of money.” Hell no! He dropped everything in his life and was by his son’s side 24/7 for four months. Nothing, not his business, not his finances, not even his health got in between him and his child. And it is in times of severe duress that we realize what is truly important. Most of us spend our lives chasing external validation that is ultimately pointless instead of spending time on what really matters… The people that we love. Yes, you should want to be successful. Yes, you should want to be healthy, wealthy, and wise. But what’s the point if the people you love aren’t there to share it with you. Understand the importance of family, friends, and love and make that your focus in life. Everything else is dust in the wind. 5. When Hope Disappears, So Does Action You must always keep hope, no matter how grim the circumstance. And by hope, I don’t mean positive thinking. Hope is a powerful acronym that you must remember when life becomes hard. Here and now. Opportunity Perseverance Enthusiasm If you wish to keep moving forward and succeeding in life, you must live in the here and the now, you must always look for opportunities in adversity, you must push through adversity, and maintain a constant enthusiasm for success. When you lose hope, you lose the ability to take action. And when you stop taking action… You wither away and die. Never lose hope.
Leah Guy is an intuitive transpersonal healer, spiritual teacher, professional speaker, and media personality. She has developed a framework to help people transform trauma and pain into peace and wholeness. Using her personal triumphs in addition to more than two decades of working with clients, she has helped people move from fear and disconnection to heart-centered and peaceful living. She is a sought-after inspirational speaker who has appeared on major media outlets as an expert on topics such as meditation, the mind-body connection, energy medicine and chakra balancing, intuition and addiction as well as emotional and spiritual healing. Her down-to-earth, honest and often humorous approach makes her one of the most accessible leaders in the field. Known as The Modern Sage, she is the owner of two companies, Modern Sage, LLC and A Girl Named Guy Productions, LLC, a lifestyle media company. Favorite Success Quote “Fear is our greatest teacher” “To risk nothing is to risk even more” Key Points 1. You Must Continually Embrace Risk One of the most underrated characteristics of all great people (men and women) is their willingness and enthusiasm to embrace risk. You see, life doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. Good things don’t come to those who sit on their ass and avoid adversity. Success, happiness, and true fulfillment come from facing and overcoming risks on a daily basis. And by “Risk” I don’t mean jumping out of airplanes, quitting your job with no backup plan, or getting a divorce because you haven’t worked on the relationship and you’re unhappy. I mean the simple, small, and uncomfortable risks that make you a better human being. Even seemingly small things can have a huge impact on your life. For some of you, you need to take the risk of taking up a meditation practice. You’re scared to sit by yourself and be with your thoughts, you are terrified of what will come up when you silence yourself and truly listen to your inner voice. You’re scared of what will happen if you actually take the time for yourself to be objective and listen to your heart. And you must take that risk. For some of you, you need to risk the “humiliation” and discomfort of resuming a regular workout routine. You might be scared of what other people will think, scared of how hard it will be, or scared that others will judge you. And you must embrace that risk. And for many of you, there is a much more painful risk that you need to face, maybe it is the risk of quitting a job, leaving a relationship, or relocating yourself. Whatever that risk might be… Do it. Because when you overcome risks, you grow, you become the person that you were meant to be and you 2. Learn to Successfully Fail We have a societal misconception about what success truly means. Most people assume that one is only “successful” if everything goes right. If they have the 7-figure business, the beautiful woman, the jaw-dropping physique, and the house on the beach. But in actuality, your level of success is in direct proportion to the effort that you are devoting to a specific task. For example, if you are trying to grow a business, your success isn’t determined by the bottom line at the end of the quarter, it’s determined by whether or not you were showing up fully present and willing to give your all each and every day. If you come to work, hustle your ass off, leave nothing on the table, and haven’t generated your desired results yet then you can still rest easy knowing that you are a success because you are taking action. The same thing applies to your relationships, health, and finances. As long as you are putting your best foot forward, as long as you are not holding back, as long as you are exerting maximum effort, you are a success whether you have the results yet or not. And when you shift your paradigm around success, you can also shift your paradigm around failure. Failure is no longer defined as “Something not working out”. That’s called a learning opportunity. In fact, “Failures” in business, relationships, and life are necessary to your success. And if you are working your hardest then you can consider any mishap or pitfall along the journey to be a “Successful Failure” You have only truly failed when you have given up or withheld your true power. And if you can become a master at successfully failing in life, then you will be a master of life. 3. Break the Cycle Many of you reading this are in a rut. You are unmotivated, uninspired, and unsure of your next step. And that’s ok. But it’s not ok for you to stay in that place. You must commit today to break that cycle. And to break out of this cycle requires you to do things that you may never have done before. One of the best ways to break your current cycle is to commit today to serving something to serve someone else. Seriously, take a step back from your own problems and your own headspace and go serve someone in needs. It’s not to say that your issues are not valid, but when you focus on serving others, the struggles that you are facing in your everyday life are immediately put into perspective and you begin to remember just how truly blessed you are. 4. You’ve Gotta “Let it Out” Look, gentlemen, you need to let it out. Whatever it is. You see, most men hold so much tension and frustration in their chest and they just keep it there, repressing those feelings and never truly freeing themselves from it. Whether it’s the daily stress of work, an unresolved emotional issue you must deal with, or troubles at home. Just let it out. Get in the car and scream at the steering wheel. Curse, yell, spit, and swear all you need to, but just get that shit off your chest. Then once you’ve released that energy, go and talk to someone. Spend some time really delving into the issues that you are facing and allow someone else to come in and shed their light on your circumstances. This one little tip might just change your life. 5. Time Doesn’t Solve a Damn Thing Time never has, and never will solve a damn thing. The only problem that time solves is the problem of existence. Time will eventually kill you and solve all of your problems, but until the day that it does, only “you” can solve your problems. It’s time for you to step up and look in the mirror. Face the music and face your problems. Whether you have unresolved trauma, a struggling career, a lousy marriage, or deep internal wounds from childhood…. Time won’t solve it. Only you can solve your problems, and you must start by admitting that you have problems to solve. Talk to a mentor, coach, or friend about the problems you are facing and commit to taking small daily actions towards the solutions.
Steve Taylor is the author of several best-selling books on psychology and spirituality and is a senior lecturer in psychology at Leeds Beckett University. For the last five years, he has been included in Mind, Body, Spirit magazine’s list of the ‘100 most spiritually influential living people.’ His books include Waking From Sleep, The Fall, Out of the Darkness, Back to Sanity, The Calm Center and his latest book The Leap: The Psychology of Spiritual Awakening. His books have been published in 19 languages, and Eckhart Tolle has described his work as ‘an important contribution to the shift in consciousness which is happening on our planet at present.’ Steve has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology and teaches on ITA professional’s on-line MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality and Transpersonal Psychology. His articles and essays have been published in over 40 academic journals, magazines, and newspapers. He writes the popular blog ‘Out of the Darkness’ for Psychology Today magazine. Steve lives in Manchester, England with his wife and three young children. Favorite Success Quote “Finally, it’s clear that fulfillment isn’t a place to seek but the place from which you are seeking That wholeness isn’t a distant future goal but your closest present state And no matter how much success you accumulate or how much failure trails behind you, it’s always enough just to be alive.“ Key Points 1. The Present is All You Have We do not live in a society that values presence. Everything, and I do mean everything, that is pushed on us in the modern world is designed to take us out of the present moment and transport us to some imaginary plane that doesn’t truly exist. Each and everyday big companies inundate us with desires for all sorts external garbage that does little to truly fulfill our deepest desires. Instead of living each moment fully and savoring the sweetness of life, we are constantly in a rush to buy the latest gadget, follow some new trend, or keep up with the Joneses. And in this rush to keep up appearances and live for future goals, we forget to enjoy what is happening right now. Because at the end of the day, the present is truly all that you have. If you are chasing a future goal, you are still chasing it in the present. If you are reminiscing about the past, you are still doing so in the present. But we rarely take the time to sit back and embrace the present moment. We rarely notice the trees swaying in the wind, or the soft sounds of our partner sleeping next to us, or the feeling of the cold hardwood underneath our feet. And when we ignore the present moment, we are ignoring our lives. Because the present is all that we have. 2. Get Recentered No matter how much you focus on being present, the challenges and struggles of modern life will derail you and cause you to lose your center. And when you find this happening, it is imperative that you take a step back and get recentered. Go for a swim, take some time to go on a run, and pay attention to your sensations. If it is feasible, the best way to find your center and bring more presence into your life is travel. Whenever you travel, everything is new and exciting, it’s like being a child all over again. You don’t know what to expect around the next corner, you aren’t sure what each day will bring, and you are constantly living in a state of wonder and awe. It is truly the best way to bring presence back into your life and find the balance that you have been searching for. And it doesn’t have to be a wild trip either. Just a 2-hour drive can take you to a city or a state that you have never visited before and provide you with a plethora of opportunities to explore and rekindle that child-like wonder and amazement. 3. Focus on “Being” Instead of “Doing” In today’s society, men are conditioned from birth to be “Doers”. We are told to get sh*t done, to make things happen, to hustle, and to grind. And all of those things are great. But they are only one part of the puzzle. The other piece that most men miss is to learn the art of “Being”. Learning to simply sit with yourself, your thoughts, and your current circumstances and to be ok with them regardless of how society might view them. When you focus on being, you will begin to realize that simply drawing breath, that simply having a pulse, simply existing is enough. Being alive is the greatest gift there is, the greatest truth that you can seek, and the greatest goal that you can achieve. And guess what? You’ve already achieved it. 4. Spiritual Awakening is Not About Bliss All too often, mainstream culture assumes that spiritual awakening is about achieving “Nirvana” or “Bliss” where all of your problems disappear and life is just a constant flow of joy and internal peace. But the true nature of spiritual awakening is not the absence of problems, but rather a greater understanding, acceptance, and capacity to deal with those problems. When you open your eyes to the world of spiritual awakening, your problems will not magically disappear. You will still have bills to pay, a family to care for, issues in your relationships, and physical ailments. However, because you have devoted the time and energy necessary to become more awakened, you will be able to approach these problems from a different space. Instead of being controlled by the problems, you will see them for what they really are and be able to handle them more adeptly and with more peace. 5. Spirituality is About Valuing What You Have At the end of the day, the ultimate lesson of spirituality, presence, enlightenment or whatever else you want to call it is simple… Value what you have in this moment. Some of the most spiritual people I know haven’t meditated a day in their lives, they’ve never read any of the sacred texts, and terms like “enlightenment” seem foreign to them. But they have a deep appreciation and gratitude for what they have. Instead of focusing on what they want and what they don’t have, they find peace and comfort in counting the blessings that already fill their lives. And if you take nothing else away from this interview take that one lesson. Valuing what you already have and being grateful for each breath you take is the ultimate form of enlightenment.
Brett McKay is the founder and editor-in-chief of The Art of Manliness, the largest independent men’s lifestyle magazine on the web with over 10 million monthly page views. Brett earned a degree in Letters (with a focus on Classics) from the University of Oklahoma and graduated from the University of Tulsa College of Law. He lives with Kate, his wife and AoM’s Executive Editor, and their two children in Tulsa, OK. When he’s not talking or writing about manliness, Brett enjoys barbell training and spending time outdoors. Favorite Success Quote “Be useful, not important.” Key Points 1. Focus on Being a Man of Value We live in a society where everybody wants to be “Somebody.” And while there is nothing inherently wrong with ambition or a drive to become successful, in our modern, ego-driven culture, this desire for fame and recognition has begun to supersede our desire to provide real value as men. We are more worried about our status on Facebook and the number of fans we have on Instagram than the quality of the work that we are producing on a daily basis. And it’s gotta stop. Success is the result of doing your work and doing it with excellence. It’s the result of trying to find ways to serve others, instead of constantly serving yourself. And the sooner that we can embrace this axiomatic truth, the sooner we will be able to live richer, healthier, and more abundant lives. It’s not about you. It’s about the impact you have on others and the legacy that you leave. 2. The Worst Rarely Happens Mark Twain is often quoted as saying I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. And while the quote itself might have been uttered tongue in cheek, it’s relevance to our modern lives cannot be understated. Yes, you are going to face challenges in your life, you will face difficulty, adversity, pain, and suffering. It’s an inevitability. But the vast majority of your internal worries will never come to fruition. As a society, we spend time locked inside of our heads, mentally plugging through the “What if’s” and “Oh no’s” until our blood pressure is through the roof and our anxiety levels critical. To be an effective risk taker and leader, you must learn to discern between genuinely possible worst-case outcomes and unlikely disasters. Yes, if you quit your job to go full time with your side hustle, it is possible that you might lose everything, go bankrupt, become homeless, and eat out of garbage cans until Elon Musk saves humanity. But it’s not very likely. Chances are, even the worst failure would simply require you to find a new corporate job, live at home for a while, and rebuild yourself from the ground up. There is an element of risk in everything worth pursuing. And as a man, you must learn to cull your fear and worries and realize that despite the perceived risk, the big, scary, life-altering disaster of an outcome that you fear is unlikely at the least and downright laughable at most. 3. Toughen Your “Mental Hide” With the wide reach of the internet, it is all but impossible to do anything of worth without attracting negative criticism and denigration. Keyboard warriors and airsoft commandos abound, each of them offering a different (and graphically detailed) opinion about why you suck and should immediately quit at your current endeavors. It doesn’t matter whether you are creating products, offering information, or detailing your journey through life… If you do anything for long enough, you are going to have to haters. So what is a man to do? While it might be uncomfortable and difficult, there is certainly merit in accepting and responding to constructive criticism that offers genuine value to you and your brand. However, the vast majority of the emails, comments, and posts that you will find littering your inbox and social platforms are not constructive, they are simply the result of disgruntled individuals with an abundance of time and a lack of common sense. In these situations, you must simply learn to toughen your mental hide. Not everyone will like you. In fact, if you do anything well enough, some people will hate you. And that is ok. You must learn to ignore the haters and stay focused on your dreams and mission. When others try and knock you off course, or make wild accusations, you should learn to take it as a sign that you are doing something right. Because it is a rare occurrence for a man offering little value to attract much attention (positive or negative). So build your mental resilience and learn to be ok with the haters. 4. Focus on Adaptability Not Effectiveness One of the greatest struggles for men of a high caliber is learning to embrace adaptability over effectiveness. Yes, you should have routines and rituals built into your daily life that allow you to create and contribute at a high level, but you must remember one simple truth… Life happens. Things don’t always go according to plan. People get sick, cars break down, the weather changes, you get food poisoning, and your kids get into fights at school. When events like this happen, learning to go with the flow and adapt is paramount not only for success but also for mental well-being and stability. You will not always be able to stick to your morning routine, you will occasionally have to sacrifice your hour of uninterrupted work time to tend to a family emergency, you won’t always be able to get to the gym… And that’s ok. Learn to be like water. Flow from one task and “tragedy” to the next without missing a beat and your quality of life will increase ten-fold. 5. Just Do Something If you are struggling in life right now, if you are on the fence if you have been wanting to get started on a dream for years but you don’t know where to start… start by doing something. Anything! One of the immutable laws of the universe is that a body in motion will tend to stay in motion, and once you get yourself in gear and begin taking action, you will find that the remaining pieces will begin to fall into place. Want to get in shape but you feel lost in the sea of diets, fads, and “scientifically proven” workouts? Go for a run and do 20 pushups and figure the rest out from there. Want to start a business but don’t know how? Buy a website, write a short ebook, and start creating content and figure the rest out from there. When you start walking, the path will be revealed. But you must start by getting up, lacing your shoes, and taking that first step.
MJ DeMarco is the current founder of Viperion Publishing Corp., a media company focused on online and print content distribution. He also is admin/founder for The Fastlane Forum, the webs’ leading destination forum for start-up, finance, and entrepreneurial business discussions. He was the former start-up Founder/CEO of Limos.com (1997-2007), a global ground transportation aggregator and marketplace that he successfully built and grew into a profitable multimillion dollar company, all with no money, no formal training, and with just a few employees. In 2001, he sold the company and later reacquired the company via bankruptcy reorganization. He later sold the company again in 2007 to a Phoenix-based private equity company. He has authored two best-selling books including The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime and UNSCRIPTED: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Entrepreneurship, his most recent work about the current landscape of life, liberty, and entrepreneurship. You can connect with him and learn more at http://www.mjdemarco.com/ Favorite Success Quote “If you accept conventional wisdom from conventional people living conventional lives. Can you expect to be anything other than conventional?” Key Points 1. Wake Up and See Through the Matrix You have been lied to. By the government, your parents, and all of society. I am not propagating a conspiracy theory, just sharing the facts. From the day that you are born, you are inundated with a bullshit script that tells you to go to school, get all A’s, go to college, get a safe job, sock aside 10% of your income and invest in mutual funds, skip the lattes, blah, blah, blah…. I am here to tell you… It doesn’t freaking work! How many multi-millionaire 65-year-olds do you know? How many wildly wealthy retirees have you met (who worked a dead-end job for the past 40 years)? And more importantly, if you have met any of these people how many were happy and fulfilled? How many were free? The script that you were fed since childhood doesn’t work. So it’s time to wake up and flip the script. If you want freedom, if you want to retire, if you want to live a life that you actually enjoy, a life where you aren’t giving up 5 days of your life in exchange for 2 (a pretty shitty ROI if you ask me) then the first step is simply acknowledging that there is a problem with the script you have been fed. Wake up, see through the matrix, and be ready to take the action required to change it. 2. The Rich Don’t Get Rich from the Script… They get rich from preaching the script! One of the biggest misconceptions about success is that the rich achieved their current success levels by following the script you see laid out for you. They didn’t. They got rich by preaching the script. They got rich by selling you on the idea of mutual funds (which they own) and stock market investments (which they control). They didn’t get rich investing in any of those things themselves, they got rich by selling that garbage to you. While compiling research for his new book, MJ examined some advice being given by Forbes.com on the topic of long-term financial wealth. The article in question was recommending a long-term mutual fund strategy starting as young as possible. Then MJ decided to see how many Forbes cover models had actually followed that advice to get rich. The results? Zero, nada, zilch. None of the world’s rich and powerful had eaten their own dog food or taken the medicine they were prescribing to everyone else. Just because you see Warren Buffet or Charlie Munger providing you with an investing strategy reliant on a long term yield of 8% doesn’t mean that it’s a strategy they actually leveraged to create their own wealth. When you are cognizant of this you will be much more wary about who you take advice from and why. 3. Learn to Provide Relative Value on a Massive Scale and You Will Become Rich Do you want to know the secret to becoming rich? Even the secret to getting rich quick? Well, listen up… I am about to share it. Provide relative value on a massive scale. If you do this, you will become rich, and chances are, you will become rich a helluva lot quicker than you would have playing the “Get rich slow” game. But how does one go about providing relative value? It’s actually a lot simpler than you might think. The first step is to identify a problem or an inefficiency in the marketplace. If you see a problem and you have the ability to fix it, you have found your “in”. Furthermore, if you look at an already “saturated” market and you notice that there are numerous inefficiencies in the day to day operations (customer service, fulfillment, product quality etc.) you can use this knowledge to break into an otherwise full market. 4. Happiness Comes from Autonomy Not Money So many people assume that more money will make them happy. That going from $20,000 to $200,000 to $2,000,000 will drastically boost your happiness and levels of fulfillment. And yes, money matters. In fact, it matters a lot. And to a certain extent, money will make you happy. However, if you look at the research compiled by the leading experts in the field of psychology, after about $70,000 a year ($110,000 for those of you living in more expensive cities) increasing your income will not drastically increase happiness. Increasing your autonomy and freedom, however, will. Your levels of happiness are directly correlated to the amount of freedom that you have in your life. Do you have the power to choose when you wake up? Do you have the power to choose when you work and what you work on? Do you have the power to choose who you work with? Your end goal should be to work until the answer to all of the above questions is a resounding yes. Because if it’s not, even $10,000,000 in the bank won’t make you happy. 5. You Only Achieve Balance Through Imbalance Do you want a balanced life? A life where you have the freedom to devote plenty of time to your body, your family, your wife, your kids, and your hobbies? Great! So does everyone else. But if you want to achieve balance, then you must first commit to several years of imbalance. You can only achieve balance when you are willing to put in the sacrifices up front to generate the money you need to live the life you want. It’s that simple. No one became a millionaire working 35 hours a week, spending their mornings doing hours of meditation, and having lazy afternoons with their spouse. They became a millionaire by working 12 hours a day 7 days a week for 2-3 years and then sitting back and reaping the rewards of those few years for the rest of their lives. So if you want balance, commit to a period of imbalance. The people who truly love you will weather the storm and stick with you through it all.
Ryan Blair is a serial entrepreneur who established his first company at age twenty-one and has since created and actively invested in multiple start-ups. As the CEO of ViSalus, he took the company from start-up to more than $1.6 billion in cumulative sales and was named Ernst & Young’s 2012 Entrepreneur of the Year. His first book, Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain, was a number one New York Times bestseller. He lives in Los Angeles. Key Points 1. The First Step to Transforming Your Life is Transforming your Environment If you are really ready to change your life, accelerate your results, and achieve your dreams, then the first step that you must take is to radically transform your environment. There is an old saying that environment is stronger than willpower, and I believe it to be true. If you are constantly around low ambition individuals who spend their weekends getting hammered, stoned, and watching Netflix, then how can you really expect to rise above your environment and excel at a high level? The first step on your journey to success is to change your environment. If your friends are bringing you down, get new friends. If you’ve never lived outside of your small town where everyone knows one another and success is frowned upon, move the hell out of there. Change your environment as quickly as possible, put in the work, and you will find yourself achieving at levels you previously thought impossible. 2. Go Give Back to Someone Who Has it Worse than You Do If you are reading this article right now, then you are blessed. If you woke up this morning and didn’t have to wonder where your next meal would come from, then you are blessed. If you even have the eyesight and cognitive function to comprehend this interview, then you are blessed. And yet, despite the abundance in our everyday lives, many of us take our blessings for granted. And as a result, we whine and moan about the most trivial things, never taking responsibility and never stepping up to the plate. It’s time to step up and step out of your own circumstances. Go volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or some other cause that will get you around people who are less fortunate than you are. Save up for a few months and go do a volunteer trip to Haiti, then come back and complain to me about how slow your iPhone 6 is. In our Western society, we don’t suffer from a lack of resources or a lack of opportunity. We suffer from a lack of perspective. And the only way to get a better perspective is to get out of your current environment and go serve other people who are suffering more than you are. So I want to challenge you to find somewhere that you can volunteer this week. Go serve food at a soup kitchen, go build homes for low-income families, go serve the homeless in downtown. Go do something that will remind you just how lucky you are. When you return to your daily life, I would bet my last dollar that you will do so with a better attitude and a sense of gratitude. 3. Base Your Goals on the Value you Want to Offer Something that you will find on your journey to success is that the universe has an odd habit of conspiring to help those who conspire to help others. If you find that you are constantly unable to meet your financial goals, then chances are, your focus is almost entirely on yourself. You think “God, I want to make $100,000 so that I can enjoy a better quality of life, nicer things, and fancier dinners.” And yet for the fourth year in a row, your company is stuck at $60,000. I want to challenge you to think about your goals differently. Instead of saying “How much money can I make?” Ask yourself the question “How much money do I want to give away? And who do I want to help?” I don’t know what it is, but when you change your goal from “I want to earn $100,000 to so I can buy my new Jaguar F-Type” to “I want to earn $200,000 so that I can give away $70,000 to build schools in Guatemala” the universe will come to your aid and present you with opportunities that seem inexplicable. So I want to challenge you to start focusing on others. Begin to look at money as a flow of energy that enables you to help other people and improve their quality of life. Yes, you should have more than enough for yourself and enjoy a great quality of life. But you should also seek to give away 10X the value of what you have earned. Adopt this attitude for 18 months, and I can promise that your life will never be the same. 4. Constantly Level Up Your Social Circle Jim Rohn, the father of personal development said it best “You are the average of the five people whom you associate with most.” And while this axiom of success has likely been repeated more times than any of us care to recount, so few of you reading this will actually internalize the message. Right now, I want you to pull out a pen and paper and take stock of your current circumstances. Everything, from your health, your finances, your fulfillment, and your relationships. Now, I want you to pull out a separate sheet of paper and write down that same list of circumstances for your five closest friends. If I was a gambling man, I would bet that the lists look pretty similar. Proximity is power, and if you are serious about achieving your dreams and reaching the levels of success that you desire, then you need to constantly level up your social circle and spend time around people who are smarter, better, and more successful than you. 5. Ask for Help As men, it’s easy to let our pride stand in the way of our fulfillment and growth. It’s easy to say “I’m fine” and block out the outside world. What’s difficult is to be real. It’s difficult to be honest with the important people in your life and tell them the truth. The truth that you aren’t alright, that everything isn’t ok, and that you are feeling pretty messed up right now It’s difficult to ask for help. But until you are willing to hang up your ego and talk with someone else, you will never overcome the challenges standing in your way. You must be willing to let go of your pride and speak the truth. Because when you do, the universe will come to your aid and the people who truly care about you will help lift you up and raise you to new levels.
After amassing over 30 million views on YouTube by producing a video every day for a year, Jaret Grossman has quickly become sought after as one of the world’s best life coaches and business consultants. Jaret’s world class advice is drawn from his early childhood woes and muscular transformation. As an 8th grader, Jaret was only 90 pounds, won only one wrestling match, and was constantly picked on and bullied. He progressed to become one of New York’s best wrestlers and eventually became a 3x All-American at Bryant University. After he pursued a career in law or investment banking, Jaret realized his passion lied elsewhere. While finishing up his JD degree, Jaret started up a health and fitness brand with his childhood friend Richie Allen. The two of them built the Muscle Prodigy presence to over 300,000 unique visitors per month, over 1 million social media followers, and topped the charts with several iTunes albums. Favorite Success Quote “He that gives should never remember and he that receives should never forget.” Key Points 1. Absorb What is Useful Discard What is Not In our modern society, it seems like everyone with a blog or a YouTube channel is trying to peddle the “One weird Secret to Success” or “Top Tips for Financial Freedom”. And while many of these platforms provide valuable sources of information, people often mistake general principles for universal truths. Every person is different. We all have different goals, dreams, aspirations, and definitions of success. So you must learn to pick and choose the advice that you follow. Absorb useful information from a variety of sources, use what works for you and discard what doesn’t. Over the years, as you continually try new things, succeed, fail, and figure out what works for you, you will develop a formula for success and fulfillment that is uniquely your own. Do not waste your time trying to pursue other people’s goals and dreams. Take the advice that is relevant to your life and goals, and ignore the rest. 2. Become a Generalized Specialist If you want to be a successful entrepreneur (or successful in any area of life) then you must commit yourself to becoming a generalized specialist. This means that while you should only strive for mastery in a small handful of skills, you should seek to be competent in a wide variety of disciplines. Think of your life like mixed martial arts. You can pick one discipline to master like Brazilian Ju Jitsu, Muay Thai, or Boxing. But you should be competent in all of the disciplines because you are only as strong as your weakest link. Success as an entrepreneur requires competence in sales, marketing, leadership, communication, accounting, time management, and technology among many others. And while you don’t have to master every area, you must have a strong grasp and understanding of the nuances behind each one. 3. Focus On Your Life Not Other People’s Lives The greatest trap that high achievers fall into is the trap of comparison. Once you make your first $100,000, you begin comparing yourself to people making $1,000,000. Once you make your first $1,000,000, then you begin comparing yourself to people making $10,000,000 and so on and so forth. But when you compare yourself to others, you denigrate your own success and sabotage your potential. There will always be someone who is doing better than you. Someone who is richer, someone who is smarter, someone who is more athletic. It doesn’t matter how great you become, there will always be someone who is better than you at something. That’s just how the world works. And if you fall prey to the comparison trap, you will never attain fulfillment, you will never be happy, and you will never enjoy your life because you will constantly be comparing yourself to people who are on a different path. So focus on your life. Focus on success as you define it. Don’t worry about other people’s achievements. Focus on doing your own thing, and the rest will fall into place. 4. Get Crystal Clear Clarity on Your Goals The first step to achieving success, whatever that means for you, is gaining crystal clear clarity on exactly what you want, when you want it, and why you want it. You can achieve anything that you set your mind to, but you must first know exactly what it is that you want to achieve. And when I say “Get clarity” I mean clarity. Saying that you want to be rich isn’t clarity. Setting the goal of starting an online marketing firm that generates $84,000 a month in net profit while you only work 45 hours a week… That’s clarity. So take some time and get crystal clear on what you want in all areas of your life. What does your ideal day look like? Who do you spend your time with? How much time do you devote to work? What is your health like? Really sit down and ask yourself what you truly want out of life. Then once you know what you want, figure out why you want it. There’s an old saying in the personal growth community that says, “With a strong enough why, you can figure out any how.” And no statement could be more true. When you know what you want and you have a powerful list of reasons why you want it, you will figure out a way to make it happen. 5. Understand that Success is More than Money It seems like we live in a society that values one thing and one thing only… The almighty dollar. And don’t get me wrong, money is important. It gives you freedom, options, and the ability to live a lifestyle that will help you feel fulfilled and on fire. But it is not the end all be all of life. Money is just a small part of the puzzle. If you want to live a life of true joy and fulfillment, then you must take a holistic approach to success. Jaret recommends that everyone focus on 8 pillars of life and success. Mission: Why you are doing what you are doing Abundance: Your finances and long term wealth Family: Your relationships with the most important people in your life Foundation: Your mental and physical well being Control: The amount of freedom that you have to do the things you want to do Connection: Your relationship with whatever higher power you believe in (even if it’s just mother nature or your connection to society) Wisdom: Your skill sets and ability to learn new things Legacy: How you want to be remembered and the impact that you want to leave behind When you consciously develop each of these 8 pillars, you will begin to find yourself feeling on fire and on purpose. But if even one pillar is crumbling, the other 7 will begin to slowly deteriorate in tandem. So take stock of where you are today and where you want to be. Then start taking the action necessary to develop your life into a living breathing masterpiece of true success.
Julian Kaufmann is an energy expert, entrepreneur, and author. Julian helps people get more out of life by applying science and universal spiritual truths to get more done by using less energy. After his own spiritual awakening led him to discover the 4-flowgates for increasing your personal power, Julian wrote Let Go, Let It Flow – The PATH To Peace and Personal Power. This groundbreaking work teaches us how to apply Julian’s Theory of Conductivity in our life and more fully express and share our true gifts with the world. We are infused with abundant energy but unfortunately, we often waste our precious resources. As a result of our mismanagement of our life energy, our life’s work often suffers. Energy is the ability to do work and our life’s work is a measure of how efficiently and effectively we manage our energy. Favorite Success Quote “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” Julian’s P.A.T.H. Julian operates his entire life, and wrote his new book around a simple but powerful concept known as “The P.A.T.H.” It is Julian’s belief that in this fast paced hectic world, a world that is constantly trying to distract and derail us from what is truly important this simple, four-step framework is the key to living a truly abundant and fulfilling life. The acronym stands for Presence, Acceptance, Thankfulness, and Helping. 1. Presence Pick up your phone for me. Now scroll through your applications and tell me how many notifications and messages are weighing down your device. It’s a lot, right? This isn’t an accident. In our modern era of iPhones, instant messaging, and unavoidable advertising, the powers at be have made a very conscious effort to keep your focus distracted, your attention captured, and your mind occupied. I’m not talking about the Illuminati or some wild conspiracy theory. I am just talking about the facts. Red Crown Marketing reported that the average adult will be exposed to upwards of 4,000 advertisements per day… and that’s being conservative. And this figure is just talking about paid advertising! It doesn’t even take into account the seemingly endless stream of social media updates, blog posts, and “New Releases” on Netflix. So with all of these different forces vying for your attention, is it any wonder why we live in an ADHD society whose attention span is rapidly decreasing to less than that of a goldfish? Of course not. And this is where we run into problems. Depression and anxiety are at an all-time high, suicide (especially among men) is on the rise, and general dissatisfaction with life continues to soar despite our meteoric advances in technology. And at the end of the day, I believe that the heart of the problem lies in one simple truth. Life is meant to be experienced not observed, and with this constant barrage of attention-stealing garbage, our society has lost the ability to simply sit back and be. So I want to challenge you. I don’t want to challenge you to work harder, approach more women, or exercise more (although you can if you want). No, I want to challenge you to simply be. Take time each and every day for the next ten days to simply enjoy being, to be present and fully alive in the moment. Whether you meditate daily, take part in a “Flow-inducing” activity, or simply walk around in nature, give yourself the gift of being… It might just change your life. 2. Acceptance Life is unpredictable, and as Murphy’s Law states, “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” But guess what? It’s ok. Because at the end of the day, whether you believe that life has a purpose or that we are merely ashes and dust, what is done has been done, and all that you can do is to accept it. And when you can learn to accept life, just as it comes, you will experience true freedom. Despite your best efforts, things will happen, tragedy will strike, and pain becomes an inevitable part of existence. But when you accept things as they are, when you can put your best effort forward while resigning responsibility for what you cannot control, you will experience a peace beyond what you thought possible. This peace, however, is only attainable when you are truly willing to accept your circumstances and let go of the outcomes. Yes, there are times where life will challenge you and require you to step up to the plate and swing for all that you are worth. But there are also times where life will ask something even more difficult from you. It will ask you to surrender. It will ask you to accept the flow of life and let go of the outcomes you cannot control. And this is possibly the greatest challenge of all. But if you can master this one simple principle, you will find that, while life may not get easier, you will have the peace to move through any adversity. 3. Thankfulness It is often said that “Laughter is the best medicine”. I must respectfully disagree. In my life, and in the lives of thousands of my clients, I have found that the most powerful “medicine” for any ailment is thankfulness. Because thankfulness is the antidote for fear, doubt, anxiety, depression, and worry. When you are thankful for what you have, you become less stressed about what you need and want. When you are thankful for what you have, no matter how trying the circumstances you are facing, you can face life with a smile knowing that you are blessed. When you are thankful for what you have, you unlock a powerful ability to reframe adversity into opportunity. When you are thankful for what you have and open up to life, life will open up to you and bring more peace and personal power than you ever thought possible. So no matter what you are facing right now, be thankful. It saved my life, and it might just save yours. 4. Helpfulness We live in a funny world. Despite the prevalence of our negative media, which showcases all of the pain and suffering around the world from the slums of Africa to the refugee camps of Syria, our society still manages to focus on itself and complain about “problems” like traffic and slow wifi. And this twisted reality reminds me of an old personal growth adage, “Where focus goes energy flows.” You see, when we are constantly focused on ourselves, our own problems, and our own issues, the problems and struggles are magnified and amplified until they feel overwhelming. But when we take the focus off of ourselves, when we refocus on those around us who are in dire need of help, we gain perspective and power over our problems. While helping others might not cover your car payment, cure your sickness, or reunite you with your lost love, it will help you to remember your blessings and realize just how good your life really is. It will reconnect you with others, help you step back from your own problems, and help you realize that you aren’t doing this journey alone. So I challenge you do help someone else this week. Whether it’s a simple phone conversation to encourage a struggling family member, a few hours spent at a soup kitchen, or simply buying someone’s coffee in line at Starbucks, do something this week to help someone else. You will be amazed at the transformation you will experience in your mindset and life.
Want to learn how to become “ultra spiritual”? How to tap into your inner badass, open up ya chakras, and achieve a level of spiritual enlightenment that would make even Gandhi blush? Then you’re in the right place…sort of. While you won’t learn how to levitate or permanently eliminate all of your desires, my interview with JP Sears will help you achieve more success, fulfillment, and inner peace in every area of your life. And it might make you cry from laughter. JP Sears is one of the funniest and most down to earth guys I’ve ever had the pleasure of interviewing and I promise that you will leave this podcast feeling more inspired, excited, and “ultra spiritual”. Enjoy. Who is JP Sears? JP Sears is an emotional healing coach, YouTuber, author, international teacher, speaker, world traveler, and curious student of life. His work empowers people to live more meaningful lives. JP is the author of “How To Be Ultra Spiritual,” (Sounds True Publishing, release date of March 7th, 2017). He is very active with his online videos where he encourages healing and growth through his humorous and entertainingly informative videos, including his hit Ultra Spiritual comedy series, which has accumulated over 100 million views. You can learn more about JP Sears and his work at AwakenWithJP.com. JP Sears’ Favorite Success Quote “Nothing is as it seems.” Key Points from My Interview with JP Sears 1. If Nothing is as It Seems, Then What Does this Mean? While the above line might sound like something out of an esoteric spiritual text or a children’s poetry book, its implications are profound. As human beings, we are all incredibly delusional whether we want to admit it or not. The very chair (or whatever inanimate object is currently supporting your weight) that you sit on is comprised of 99% empty space! And yet to us, it seems solid. And when you stop to think about it, you will begin to realize that this concept of “Nothing as it seems” is applicable in all areas of life. Take, for example, a common goal among many men… To date a “Perfect 10”. While most people would agree that this is a fine goal and that every man should seek to find a woman who is his own “10”, when you dive deeper into the nuances of your motivation, you might begin to realize that reality is quite different from what you thought. For the man desiring a perfect 10, his motivations might be rooted in an early childhood trauma or feelings of deep inadequacy. He may feel that he is a “1” or a “2” and that a perfect “10” would increase his value and worth. If this is true, then he is faced with one of three options. He can ignore this new information and uncomfortable way of viewing his desires and continue living his life as he was before. He can relinquish his desires and move onto more “noble” pursuits. Or he can do the deep internal work needed to elicit change in his own sense of worth and esteem so that his desire for that perfect woman comes from a place of love, wholeness, and a desire to share a life. But remember, this is not a judgment, this is not a call to abandon all of your self-serving goals, it’s not even a statement of absolute truth (if nothing is as it seems, then perhaps this isn’t as it seems either). Rather it is an invitation. An invitation to go deeper in your life, your health, and your relationships. An invitation to figure out what is really driving you, to see situations for what they really are (or at least what you perceive they really are), and an invitation to go beyond your current level of consciousness. You owe it to yourself to dive into your life and take a more objective look at who you are and what you want. And you might be surprised by what you find. 2. Break Out of the Comparison Trap One of the greatest single distractions in our modern world is the comparison trap. And how couldn’t it be? Each and every day, we are bombarded with images of private jets, exotic cars, hot Instagram models, and juiced up “Natty’s” who make us feel inadequate and completely overwhelmed. Is it any wonder why most of us look at our own lives and feel incredibly unfulfilled? You see, our society does its absolute best to keep us distracted, to stop us from looking inward, and to keep us contributing to the system by setting goals that aren’t our own, buying things we don’t need, living lifestyles we can’t afford. Because whenever we are focused on keeping up with our neighbors or looking like “That Guy” on Instagram, we will never realize that we don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on clothes, cars, and supplements to be happy. In fact, almost all true fulfillment comes from within. So I want to challenge you to stop wasting your time looking at others and start spending more time looking at yourself. Cut out the social media, stop looking at other people’s lives, and focus on yourself. Spend time alone asking yourself what you really want and what would make you truly fulfilled. Cut yourself off from the herd that mindlessly follows whatever new fad is trending on Facebook. Build a life that is designed by you, with you, and for you. 3. The Mess Strengthens You Whenever we are in the midst of adversity, it’s easy to become disheartened and lose hope, to feel like there is no end in sight. And once the adversity has passed, it’s even easier to feel shameful about the struggle that we endured. But your messy story is what strengthens you and brings power into your life. Think about it this way. If someone walked down the road and said “Hey, here’s a gold 1st place Medal”, would you really want it? Maybe, but if you’re anything like me, that medal would end up in a trash can by the side of the road. Now I want you to imagine that you are preparing to compete in the Olympics. You’ve been training for the better part of a decade, you’ve lost sleep, injured yourself countless times, given up your social life, and all but devoted your entire life to becoming one of the best. After a brutal and strenuous competition, you cross the finish line first, achieving victory and winning that gold medal. How would you feel about that? Would you carelessly discard it in one of the city’s waste bins? I doubt it. When you have bled and suffered for something so much, you cherish the journey, you treasure the medal, and you revel in the victory. And this same principle is true in life. If you aren’t struggling to achieve your goals, if you don’t have to bleed a little bit, if you don’t have any scars, then how valuable will it really feel? The mess that you are going through, the proverbial “River of Shit” that you must swim through, that’s what makes it worthwhile, and that’s what makes your story worth telling. So learn to feed off the mess, feel strengthened by the struggle, and revel in the pain… Because these are the things that make success worth it. 4. Feel Your Freaking Feelings As men, we are good at thinking about things. We think about problems, we think about solutions, we think about the future, we think about the past, and, unfortunately, we think about our feelings. But by their very nature, our feelings are meant to be felt not analyzed and thought about. Society has spent so much time trying to drill the dogmas that “Real men don’t cry” and “Tough guys don’t show emotion” into our head, that, as men, we have lost touch with our feelings. We are no longer able to just feel things without assigning judgment or coming up with some sort of action plan to remedy or enhance the feeling. And because of this disconnection, we have also become disconnected with ourselves. We no longer know how to feel fully, we no longer remember how to simply sit in our emotions and allow the feelings of the moment to wash over us. In order to help you reconnect with your feelings, JP recommends that you follow what he calls the “Feel Your Fucking Feelings” meditation. During this meditation, you simply pick one sensation in your body, whether it is positive or negative, and just feel it. Don’t think about it, don’t analyze it, don’t try and fix it… Just feel it. If you sit down and immediately feel a cramp in your back, then just feel that sensation. If you sit down and feel a build up of energy in your stomach, just feel it. If you want to become “Ultra Spiritual” then you must reconnect with yourself and learn how to feel again. 5. Success is About Being Ok with Who You Are Success, true success, doesn’t come from the amount of money in your bank account or single digit body fat or dating a Victoria’s Secret model. True success comes from your ability to be yourself fully, completely, and unapologetically. When you are totally comfortable with who you are, and you don’t feel the need to apologize for being you, then you are a success. But this is easier said than done. Because we are our own worst critics, and oftentimes, the person who want to be gets in the way of the person we were born to be. There’s really no wisdom JP or myself can impart to make this journey easier. Success is simple. It’s about learning to love yourself and be ok with who you are. Getting to that point will be hard, but I promise you that it will be worth it.
Jordan Harbinger, once referred to as “The Larry King of podcasting,” is a Wall Street lawyer turned talk show host, social dynamics expert, and entrepreneur. After hosting a top 50 iTunes podcast for over a decade that enjoyed nearly four million downloads a month at its zenith, Jordan has embarked on a new adventure: The Jordan Harbinger Show, where he deconstructs the playbooks of the most successful people on earth and shares their strategies, perspectives, and insights with the rest of us. Jordan’s business sense, extensive knowledge of the industry, and contemporary approach to teaching make him one of the best and most sought-after coaches in the world. You can learn more about Jordan and follow his new podcast at jordanharbinger.com Or click here to get access to Jordan’s free networking course. Favorite Success Quote “Fortune favors the prepared” Key Points 1. Focus on the Right Things Ironically, one of the most difficult tasks in any endeavor, whether it’s fitness, relationships, or business is not mastering any given skill, but learning which skills to focus on in the first place. The ability to select the skills most pertinent to your success will often be the difference between hitting your goals and being the guy who’s 10-years into a business getting beaten by 20-year olds who’ve just launched their company. So many people will dive into a new endeavor or new company and they will focus on skills that aren’t completely relevant to their long-term success. For example, I see lots of guys running towards the social media marketing game thinking that all they need to understand is how to run a good Facebook ad. But in reality, their time would be better spent learning the nuances of sales and marketing which are the basis for their entire business model. Take some time to figure out exactly what skills you need in order to succeed, and once you know what you need, go out and master them 2. Pick a Craft and Commit to Mastering It Most millennials want a quick fix. They want an easy solution. They want instant gratification. And this is why they’re failing. Success is not easy, but it is simple. If you can find the 2-3 skills required to succeed in your niche, and then commit to mastering those skills over the course of 15-20 years, you will create tremendous levels of success for yourself. For example, since 2006, Jordan has been laser focused on mastering the arts of research and interviewing. Before every new interview, he compiles extensive research to fully understand his new guest and unravel potential threads of conversation. On the weekends, he works with a vocal coach to ensure that he has impeccable tonality while conducting his interview. Every single day he does something to help him improve as an interviewer. And his results don’t lie. If you want to succeed in any industry, whether it’s e-commerce, marketing, podcasting, coaching, or sales, then you must commit to mastery. Understand the commitment level required to succeed at a high level and devote the next 10-20 years of your life to totally mastering a small set of skills that will bring you massive amounts of success. 3. Most People Are Delusional Most people think that they want to be “successful”. They think that they want to run a huge business, make millions of dollars, and live a lifestyle that will make them Instagram famous. But in actuality, most of these people only like the idea of succeeding at such a high level. When the rubber meets the road and they are required to wake up early, cold call hundreds of businesses, and sacrifice time with their family and children to make the business work, they collapse under the pressure and quit. The problem is that most people don’t realize what it really takes to achieve the goals that they have set. And while they will tell you that they are willing to sacrifice anything to succeed and achieve, when the time comes to actually do it, they are nowhere to be found. Most people are running around believing the garbage that they see on Instagram and thinking that with some careful outsourcing they can magically make millions from their phone. It’s a load of bullshit and the people trying to sell it to you typically work harder than you’d ever want to do! I don’t say any of this to discourage you. If you have a dream, know the costs, and have decided that it’s worth it to you, then go and do it! But be careful who you believe and what dream you pursue, because if you don’t, failure is all but inevitable. 4. Don’t Force Yourself to Make Short-Term Plays Conventional wisdom tells you to “Burn your boats so that you can take the island”, and while this philosophy does have its merits, its also has a number of holes. Whenever you “Burn your boats” you force yourself to make short term plays because you are building your business from a point of desperation instead of inspiration. For example, if you are currently working as a server and trying to build an online clothing store on the side, don’t quit your job to pursue your business full time. If you do, then you will be forced to compromise your long-term vision in order to make short-term plays like paying the bills and keeping your inventory stocked. If you keep your current job, no matter how much you dislike it, you have a level of security that will allow you to design your business around your ultimate vision. When you aren’t stressed about putting food on the table, you will be able to approach your business with a level head and think about the long game. 5. Balance is Bullshit Most people who tell you that you can “Have it all” are trying to sell you something. While plenty of gurus and thought leaders like to peddle this idea of a balanced life, in my experience, there’s almost always a compromise. Certainly, there are many people who reach a comfortable level of success financially and then refocus on their family, their health, and their community, and this is great! There are also a number of people like Grant Cardone who have learned how to incorporate their spouse, their family, and their social life into their businesses, allowing them to create a (seemingly) balanced life. But anyone who tells you that you can build a 7, 8, 9, or even 10-figure empire while living a “Balanced life” is trying to sell you some bullshit. Achieving true excellence in anything requires sacrifice in many things. If you want to build a wildly successful company, you will have to sacrifice time with your family. If you want to build a wildly successful marriage, you will have to let go of your desire to drive the business forward the same way you did when you were single. If you want high levels of success in anything, it will inevitably require high levels of sacrifice in something else. Despite what the gurus told you… balance is bullshit.
Ryan Nicodemus (and his partner Joshua Fields Milburn) help over 20 million people live meaningful lives with less through their website, books, podcast, and documentary. The Minimalists have been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Forbes, TIME, ABC, CBS, NBC, BBC, CBC, and NPR. You can connect with him and learn more at www.theminimalists.com/start/ Favorite Success Quote “It’s not a matter of being busy, so are the ants. The question is: What are you busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau “Love people and use things because the opposite never works.” Key Points 1. Embrace the Drudgery Conventional wisdom states that “If you do something you love, you will never work a day in your life”. Unfortunately, as nice as the sentiment sounds, the reality is quite different. If you want to succeed at anything in life, you are going to have to work and let me tell you, there will be times that, no matter how much you love what you do, the work will feel like endless drudgery. I believe that a more accurate statement is, “If you love what you do, you will be able to stomach the hard work.” Ryan loves sharing his message with millions of people across the world, but he doesn’t always love the daily grind of writing, marketing, and speaking. I love empowering men all over the world to achieve their full potential, but I don’t always love managing employees, testing marketing campaigns, or putting out fires. Because we love what we do, we are able to handle the drudgery. That doesn’t make the work any more pleasant or any easier, but it does give those difficult tasks a greater sense of meaning and purpose. This extends beyond the realm of business too. Think about dating and relationships. Just because you are madly in love with someone doesn’t mean that the relationship will not take hard work. There will be fights, there will be disagreements, there will be times when your partner is struggling and you need to stand by and support them. And guess what? It’s hard. But if you truly love that person, it’s also worth it. So embrace the drudgery, realize that you will have to work and you will have to work hard. But remember that if you are working on something you love, the drudgery will be worth every second of pain. 2. Get Clear on the Massive Action You Need to Take The first step to success in any endeavor is gaining clarity on what you want to achieve. The second step is gaining clarity on the actions you must take in order to manifest that dream and bring it into reality. Knowing what you want is not enough, you must have a very clear blueprint for the specific actions you are going to take in order to achieve your end game. Do you want to be financially independent? Great! Now, what specific actions are you willing to take in order to achieve that goal? Will you work 10-12 hours a day for the next five years? Will you devote all of your free time to your side hustle? Will you break off friendships that are dragging you down and keeping you mediocre? What are you going to do to make it happen? Do you want to be the healthiest man possible? Great! Now, what are you going to do to bring that goal to fruition? Will you give up drinking, smoking, and drugs? Will you commit to training 5 times a week? Will you cut out sugar, gluten, and processed foods? What are you going to do to make it happen? You see, it’s great to set goals, but most people forget that every worthwhile goal requires massive action. And before you set out to achieve a goal, you need to have a very clear picture of what it is that you are willing to sacrifice and what actions you are willing to take in order to achieve your dreams. 3. Giving is Living While this might sound cliche and overplayed, the secret to living truly is giving. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to live for yourself. It’s fun to focus on your own happiness. It’s fun to do your own thing and give a single finger salute to the world. But how long will it fulfill you? When you stumble home drunk for the fourth night this week, a random girl from the bar on your arm, and unlock the door to your penthouse apartment, you’re having fun. But after a while, you will find that the endless cycle of living for yourself and your needs becomes tiring, and the very things that once brought you immense joy and happiness now leave you with a profound emptiness and a voice in your head asking “Is this it?” Life isn’t meant to be lived for yourself. It’s meant to be a shared journey. And if you are struggling to find fulfillment in your current life, then I want to challenge you to refocus your intentions and desires on giving back. It doesn’t have to be a huge gesture either. Commit to giving away $5 a day in a creative way. Do one random act of kindness a week. Volunteer at a soup kitchen a few hours each month. Do something that gets you out of your bubble and allows you to give back. Because not only will you be contributing to the greater good, but you will also be reminding yourself of just how good your life really is. It will help you remember what is truly important and it will reframe your current struggles and put your problems into perspective. And what’s more? It will give you a profound sense of inner peace and fulfillment. The secret to living truly is giving. So the only question I want to ask you is this… What are you going to give? 4. You Must Know Your Values and Beliefs In life, you will often be presented with difficult decisions. You will find yourself at a crossroads where both paths seem appealing and you are unable to determine exactly which route to take. During these times of decision, it is imperative that you have a deep understanding of what it is you truly value and what brings you the most fulfillment and joy. To use a classic example, imagine that you are offered a promotion at work. The promotion will more than double your salary but it will also take you away from your family and children and will require you to travel 3 weeks out of the month. What should you do? The answer depends on your values. Do you value financial independence and leaving a legacy? If so, then the best course of action might be to take the promotion, be more intentional about the time that you get to spend with your family, and use the influx of cash to create a better quality of life (and guarantee a better future) for the people you love. Do you value your relationships and your influence over your children’s development? If so, then forget the promotion and spend your time pouring into your children and shaping their future. There are no right or wrong answers with these types of decisions. But every big decision is predicated on your unique value system and beliefs. So you’d better be damn sure that you take some time to define exactly what those are before you go making life altering moves. 5. Happiness Isn’t the Purpose of Life Many people believe that happiness is the purpose of life. But, as we alluded to in a previous point, this is far from the truth. If happiness is all that we are here for, then 99% of the population should say “Fuck it!” and become a heroin addict. Afterall, it’ll make you happy right? I mean it will make you really happy for every waking hour of your day. But I think you and I both know that there is more to life than just feeling good. While I don’t pretend to know what the meaning of life is, I can tell you with 100% certainty that it is not manic levels of happiness. Life is about the journey, it’s about contribution, and it’s about living in accordance with your own unique values and beliefs. And even though I cannot tell you what you should do in your own specific situation, I can tell you that you must have a much higher purpose and calling than happiness. Because if happiness is your end game, then you should expect to live the majority of your life in an unfulfilling and unproductive way.
Tom Bilyeu is the co-founder and President of Quest Nutrition, the second fastest growing privately owned company in the United States (currently valued at over $1 billion). He is also the founder of Impact Theory, a show dedicated to helping you achieve your limitless potential. Favorite Success Quote “Do and believe that which moves you towards your goals” Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Key Points 1. Find That Thing That Makes You Feel Alive We live in an age of unprecedented freedom. Never before in the history of the human race have there been so many options available to so many members of the general populace. In the 21st century, our options and opportunities, like our potential, are nearly limitless. Traveling across the globe is easier than it’s ever been, growing your brand and authority has never been so scalable, and the ability to build a wildly successful business is now open to anybody with access to the internet. And yet… Despite the tremendous number of resources and the almost limitless amount of opportunity circulating the modern economy, recent polls still indicate that nearly 70% of the American workforce is disengaged with their career! How can this be? In an era of unparalleled choices and opportunity more than two-thirds of the entire nation spends 40+ hours of their week doing something they hate! While every individual is different and each circumstance is unique, I personally believe that the primary reason for this disconnect is simple. People are scared. They are scared that pursuing their dreams will be hard, they are scared that following their passions will be too difficult, and they are scared that they will fail. But guess what? Regardless of the path you choose to pursue, there will be challenges, there will obstacles, and there will be hardships. The struggle is an inevitable part of the human condition. No matter what path you choose to pursue, you will face challenges and trials, you will fail, and you will probably want to quit more than just once. But, if you decide to pursue that thing that makes you come alive, the thing that lights a fire inside of you, the thing that you are willing to devote the rest of your life to… Nothing will stop you. 2. Tailor Your Activities to Achieve Cognitive Optimization Since Tom founded one of the fastest growing health and nutrition companies in the world, it should come as little surprise that one of his “Secrets to success” is methodically optimizing his cognitive performance. No matter what goal you are pursuing, you will need to be operating at full blast in order to effectively make decisions, execute on ideas, and move the needle forward. And the quickest way to improve your own performance is to optimize the performance of the gray matter in between your ears. But how does one actually do this? How do you totally optimize your mind without spending thousands of dollars on supplementation, smart drugs, and crazy bio-hacking equipment? The truth is surprisingly unsexy. For Tom, it all starts with sleep. He is in bed every night by 9 p.m. and only wakes up whenever he feels rested and ready to attack the day. This is crucial to ensuring optimal brain performance since the majority of memory, association, and cellular repair happens while we are asleep. After optimizing his sleep, Tom will then head to the gym every single morning, flooding his brain and body with dopamine, endorphins, and endocannabinoids and getting his mind and body into a peak state. With his workout concluded, Tom will sit in silence to spend time “Thinkitating” which is, as Tom puts it, “Applying the afterglow of meditation to solve the greatest challenges in your life.” Basically, after concluding a short meditation session using Mark Divine’s box breathing technique, he will sit back and consciously contemplate the greatest challenges he’s facing in his life allowing his mind and subconscious to search for an answer to the problem. Then, with his exercise and thinkitation done, Tom hits the books and will consciously spend an hour or more each morning filling his mind with ideas from the best and brightest individuals on the planet. Tom attributes much of his success to this “Cognitive optimization morning routine”. It’s not complicated, it doesn’t require much equipment, and it can be done from anywhere in the world. If you want a more detailed description of the Impact Theory Morning Routine, you can check out this article for more info. 3. Always Focus on Delivering More Value than Expected Imagine for a moment that you are purchasing a product and deciding between two different companies. For the sake of the argument (and since Tom is the founder of a fitness nutrition company) let’s assume that the companies in question are selling a muscle gain supplement. After years of research company A found a formula that helps their clients get results and they decided to follow the age-old advice “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. Company B, however, is never satisfied and they continue dumping thousands of dollars a month into sourcing higher quality ingredients, finding new ways to improve their formula, and delivering more value to the end customer. Who do you think will win? Even though Company A has a “good” product that provides real value to their customers, Company B is unwilling to settle for “good enough”. And let me tell you, one of the biggest traps that entrepreneurs fall into is the trap of “Good enough”. Because the second that you stop improving your product, service, or experience somebody else who is hungrier, more motivated, and more driven than you are will steal your customers and leave you in the dust. You must constantly improve the value that you bring to the marketplace and look for new and unique ways to expand your services to help more people. Because at the end of the day, you will be paid in direct proportion to the amount of value that you give. And if you do more than you are paid for now, you will be paid for more than you do later. 4. Email is the Greatest Thief of Productivity While it might seem a little bit superfluous to devote an entire key point of this interview to the topic of email, I want you to consider for a moment that the average American is estimated to spend a total of 3.2 hours per day just checking work related emails (this doesn’t include personal correspondence). That’s almost half of their work day devoted entirely to the largely pointless act of reaching inbox zero. During our interview, Tom admitted to having over 6,000 unopened emails sitting in his inbox and told us that he will typically look at his emails only twice a week for a few minutes. According to conventional wisdom, there’s no way that he could effectively run a successful company spending so little time devoted to email, and yet he’s the Co-founder of one of the nation’s fastest growing companies. If you want to become truly successful at the game of business, then you must learn to focus only on profit-producing activities. Email is not one of those. 5. You Will Never Eliminate Pride, So Use It While many philosophers and teachers preach the importance of eliminating pride, anyone with a basic understanding of the human condition knows that pride is an inherent part of our existence and will never be removed. So if we cannot eliminate our pride, then what are we supposed to do? The simple answer? Use it. Pride and ego can actually be a phenomenal tool if they are focused on the right things. Specifically, learning to develop immense pride around your focus on the processes, not your outcomes. What do I mean by this? Well, instead of priding yourself on how smart you are (which will likely lead to careless mistakes) develop immense pride in your commitment to your education. Instead of priding yourself on your physique, strength, or endurance (all of which can be taken away with one injury) develop immense pride in your physical work ethic and desire to improve your body. Learn to take pride in who you are instead of what you are and you will find that pride becomes an asset instead of a liability.
Mark Divine served 9 years on active duty and 11 years on reserve as a US Navy SEAL before retiring as a commander in 2011. After his decorated career in the special forces, Mark went on the found Navyseals.com, launch US Tactical, and develop a revolutionary workout program known as SEAL Fit. He has also written multiple New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Amazon best-selling books. Favorite Success Quote “Undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked.” ~Patanjali Key Points 1. Focus On People’s Character Not their Acumen If you ever have the opportunity to sit down with any older businessmen or entrepreneurs and ask them the question “What was your biggest mistake”, nine times out of ten they will tell you that their biggest regret in business was trusting someone who they shouldn’t have trusted. You see, even outside of the realm of business, it’s easy to overlook people’s character flaws because of their other resources. I see many men fall into this trap in business, dating, and friendship. It’s easy to ignore the obvious red flags with your new employee because they are a monster salesman and you know that they will make you a lot of money (until they end up stealing it back). It’s easy to ignore a woman’s blatant character flaws because she’s wildly attractive and great in bed. It’s easy to ignore your friend’s unscrupulous behavior because he’s funny, rich, and always makes sure you have a good time. But if you want to mitigate risk and succeed at life, you must adopt a more cautious approach. Learn to focus on people’s character and their virtues, not just their raw talent. Because at the end of the day, it’s easier to train a virtuous man to become a good salesperson than it is to train a great salesperson to become a virtuous man. 2. Win the Morning Win the Day Mark attributes much of his success to the powerful morning rituals that he follows in order to get himself grounded and ready for the day. Something that surprised me is that Mark’s routine doesn’t take several hours, one hour, or even 30-minutes. He told me that he can complete his routine in 15-minutes on average and 5 if he’s really pressed for time. Each morning he spends a few minutes in silent meditation, then he will focus his intentions on his life vision and the daily tasks he needs to achieve to move closer to that vision, and finally, he will review the elements of his “ethos” or the guiding principles upon which he operates his life. And that’s it. Whatever your goals in life, you need to start your day in a powerful state to set yourself up to win the day and achieve your dreams. Personally, I try and start most mornings by watching something inspirational, reading a few pages of a classic book, journaling, focusing on gratitude, and incorporating some sort of physical exercise. How you develop your own morning routine will be unique to your dreams and vision, but what is important is that you have a morning routine and that it helps you get grounded and ready to go out and achieve your dreams. 3. Turn Failure Into Your Greatest Asset Many people believe that failure is a problem, that it’s a liability. But it’s not. Failure is actually one of your greatest assets and closest friends… When you use it properly and learn from it. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that failure is fun or that you should try and fail. Failure sucks, there’s nothing fun about it, and nobody wants to see their dreams and ambitions fail. But when you fail and trust me, you will fail, you have one of two options. You can whine and bitch and complain. Or you can dust yourself off, look at your failure objectively, and ask yourself “Ok, how can I do better next time?” Failure is only failure if you don’t learn from it, if you don’t grow from it, and if you don’t reframe it so that you see each failure as a valuable teacher, educating you about how to achieve your dreams. 4. Realize that Your Growth is Limited by Your Shadow There is an old saying that “A chain is only as strong as its weakest link”. And in the realm of personal growth, you are only as strong as your darkest parts. I see so many men today who walk through their lives trying to elicit personal growth by constantly pushing forward, suppressing the pain of the past, and ignoring the emotional trauma that has held them back. But the harsh reality of life is that you can only grow to the extent that you are willing to address your darkness or your shadow self. We all have a dark side, we’ve all been hurt, we all have deep wounds and pain whether we want to address them or not. And most men choose to ignore this dark side. They try and move on with their lives and pretend that everything is ok when, subconsciously, the pain and hurt of the past is holding them back from living the lives of their dreams. If you want to move forward in your life, if you want to truly succeed, if you want to open up to true intimacy and love and connection, then you must face your shadow. You must address the pain, you must conquer your darkness and learn to use it for good. Because if you don’t, you will constantly be haunted (consciously or subconsciously) by the parts of you that you dare not bring into the light. 5. Detach from the Details of the Outcome & Focus on the Vision One of the biggest mistakes that many men make is that they are more concerned with the details of the outcome than the outcome itself. For example, in the interview, Mark discussed his goal of impacting 100,000,000 lives. He told me that, while he is rigid in his vision, he has learned to be flexible in the details of achieving this outcome. For Mark, it doesn’t matter whether he impacts 10 people who go and change a million lives or whether he impacts a million people who go on to change 10 lives. He is adamant in his vision, but he is flexible in the approach. In your life and with your goals, you must adopt the same mentality. Yes, you should have a strong, crystal clear vision and end game, but you must be flexible about how you achieve that vision.
Michael is the Senior Partner at Box of Crayons, a company that helps organizations do less Good Work and more Great Work. He’s also the author of several books, including The Coaching Habit and Do More Great Work. Michael has written for or been featured in numerous publications including Business Insider, Fast Company, Forbes, The Globe & Mail and The Huffington Post. Favorite Success Quote “If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start.” ~Charles Bukowski Key Points 1. Forget All About Doing Good Work and Focus on Great Work There are only three kinds of work. Bad work, good work, and great work. Ironically, the type of work that is most deadly to your dreams and ambitions is not bad work. Because bad work is obvious. It’s the kind of work that creates a visceral reaction each time you are forced to engage in it. You know what I am talking about. That work you try and outsource as soon as you receive it. That work that leaves you anxious and exhausted each time it pops up in your inbox. That work that requires no talent, skill, or ability, simply an ability to switch off your brain and put your nose to the grindstone. And most importantly, that work that does nothing to push you closer to your ultimate vision. You know bad work when you see it, which is why it’s not truly a danger to your dreams. Good work, on the other hand, is an innocuous killer of greatness. Because good work (again, as the name implies) is good. You enjoy good work, you can profit from good work, and good work leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment. But there’s a disconnect. Good work is often what we use to fill our time and distract ourselves from great work we know we should be doing. Good work is that high-paying freelance project that distracts your focus from your new startup. Or that client you keep on retainer who doesn’t push your abilities or stretch you. Good work can even be a relationship, a friendship, or a career that is blowing you off course from your life’s mission. Good work will not steal your soul and crush you underfoot like bad work will. Instead, it will ensnare you and keep you playing the game of life at a small level. So it’s time for you to decide. Do you want to do good work that will make you a living? Or do you want to do great work that will make you a legend? 2. Learn to Understand the True Problem Men are problem solvers. This isn’t some sort of gender-based stereotype, it’s simply how we are biologically hard-wired. But the unique problem with being a problem solver is that it can often lead to impatience and unnecessary haste. Which, especially when it pertains to leadership and management, can be fatal to your efficiency. After all, how can you effectively solve a problem if you haven’t fully defined the problem you are trying to solve? For example, let’s say that you receive a call from a long-time client who is responsible for more than 25% of your bottom line. As soon as you pick up the phone, the client regretfully informs you that your contract is being terminated and when you inquire as to why he simply responds by saying “We no longer need your services.” At this point, you could make assumptions about the problem, politely hang up, and face the consequences of losing such a big contract. Or, you could ask a simple question, “What’s the real challenge here?” By diving deeper instead of simply assuming that the client is lost, you might find out that they recently underwent significant budget cuts and don’t feel that they can afford your retainer. And while you may or may not be able to renegotiate an agreement, you have stepped further into understanding what the real challenge is. The next time that you are presented with a challenging situation, even an internal one, I challenge you to pause, take a step back, and ask “What’s the real challenge here?” If you are feeling unfulfilled in your work and you’re thinking about quitting your job, stop and ask “What’s the real challenge”? Are you bored and unchallenged? Do you feel stuck? Do you feel underpaid? Talk to your manager and see if you can take on more challenging projects, move into a different division, or negotiate a raise. However, if you feel like your talents and abilities genuinely need to be applied to a different endeavor, then follow through and quit with a full understanding of the challenge you need to surmount. If your marriage is on the verge of collapse, pause and ask yourself, “What’s the real challenge here?”. Are you and your partner simply struggling to connect? Do you feel the need for more time alone and with friends? Do you feel that you have lost touch with what made you fall in love with one another? These issues (although difficult) are all fixable. But maybe the real struggle is that you were married too young and your goals are no longer in alignment. Maybe the solution is to part amicably and move towards your own individual purposes. Whatever problems you are facing in your life, take a step back and figure out what the real challenge is. Sometimes, your assumptions will be correct. But more often than not, you will find that the real challenge is much deeper and much more nuanced than you originally thought. 3. Knowledge is Never the Issue I want you to imagine that you are walking through a dark alleyway late at night in your hometown. You feel a tingle at the base of your spine, and when you turn around, there is a man with a gun pointed at your head. He doesn’t want your money, he doesn’t want your watch, in fact… He doesn’t give a damn about any of your valuables. All he wants is the answer to four questions. “What can I do to become healthier? What can I do to make and save more money? What can I do to attract more women and love into my life? And what can I do to become a stronger grounded man?” Would you be able to respond? If you have been listening to this show for any appreciable amount of time, then I can guarantee that you could. “Lift heavy weights for 5 hours a week and only eat real food. Start a side hustle, save away every extra penny, and then invest in some sort of asset like a real estate deal. Talk to five new women every day, be genuinely interested, and be authentic with them. Start journaling, meditating, and pushing yourself to embrace adversity.” Boom! He puts the gun down and you are free to go. Now, I know that the above scenario is implausible, to say the least, but my point in sharing this is that you know what you need to do. I doubt that the above responses were new to most of you. You already knew how to become healthier, wealthier, attract better relationships, and become more grounded. And if you don’t, then a short glance through the Knowledge for Men archives will solve that problem once and for all. For 99% of you reading this, however, knowledge is not your problem. You know everything that you need to do. So why aren’t you doing it? Why aren’t you taking action? Why aren’t you moving forward? Before you get upset and start casting blame and recoiling in defense, pause… And ask yourself, “What’s the real challenge here?” What is it in your life that is stopping you from moving forwards? Why aren’t you taking action? Why aren’t you doing what you need to do? Instead of judging yourself and trapping yourself in a vicious cycle of frustration, shame, and inaction, take a step back and analyze your inaction. If lack of knowledge isn’t your problem… What is? 4. What Do You Want? Seriously… What do you want? What do you want? Not “What do mommy and daddy want?” Not “What does society want?” Not “What people tell you that you should want?” What do you want? It’s funny to me how few men will actually take the time to uncover the answer to this question. To our knowledge, we only get one shot at this thing called life. We only have one chance to live the lives that we want. So why the hell do we go about living our lives based on other people’s values and desires? If you only have one chance to live your life and achieve your dreams, then why would you pursue a career that makes you miserable? Why would you marry someone you don’t truly love? Why would you live one second of your life out of alignment with your deeper calling and purpose? Ask yourself every single week, month, and year, “What do I want?” Don’t filter what comes up, don’t judge it, just embrace it. Once you know what you truly want… Go out and get it.
Bill Lyons is a successful entrepreneur and contributor. He is currently the Founder & CEO of a technology startup inside the real estate industry called Revestor. Revestor is a real estate search engine and marketplace for residential investment properties that provides custom investment filters, notifications on new investment properties for sale, and comprehensive analysis. Revestor’s patent-pending software creates the only residential real estate search engine that can run investment calculations over live listings. Revestor’s investment tools and data help real estate investors and real estate professionals be more effective in their local market. Lyons is focused on carving out a large segment of the $11 Billion online real estate advertising market and the residential investors that make of 25% of the real estate market. Lyons built his former company, from zero to $20 Million per year in revenue with $3+Billion in transactions inside of 36 months. As President & CEO of one of the fastest growing companies in San Diego, Mr. Lyons managed a $6million per year online marketing budget offering opportunity to well over 250 employee Favorite Success Quote “I know what you’re thinking and you’re right” ~Magnum P.I. Key Points 1. You’re Not Done Yet Winston Churchill once said that “Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” Ironically, most people assume that success is final and failure is fatal, but nothing could be further from the truth. For the entrepreneur (and even the corporate 9-5er) life and business are tumultuous. Your best month ever will be followed by your absolute worst, your greatest successes often precede your biggest failures, and just when you feel like giving up, your greatest breakthroughs will occur. Life is about the ups and downs. You will have failures, you will have successes, and you will experience highs and lows you could never have predicted. And during times of great success and great failure, you must take a step back and reflect. Remember that nothing is final until you draw your last breath. One success does not make you invincible. One failure does not make you worthless. It is the courage to continue, each and every day, that will determine the impact your life has. 2. Certainty is King I want you to imagine that you recently started a new company and you are looking to hire your first employee to manage your marketing. You have two prospects lined up with back to back interviews and on paper, you are all but certain that the first candidate will get the job. But when he walks into the room, your certainty vanishes. Despite his impressive resume and a long list of people with whom he’s worked, something is just off. He’s shy, timid, and seems unsure of himself and his potential within your company. When he leaves the room, you are left perplexed, hoping the next candidate shows more promise. And he does… The second candidate you have lined up is a man fresh out of college with only a handful of low-level contracts under his belt. But he has an enthusiasm, a vigor, and a certainty about him that is contagious. He responds to ever single question with a well thought out response displaying his confidence and certainty in his abilities and future, and by the time the interview concludes, you are excited about getting to work with him on a regular basis. Who would you hire? You see, in our modern world, certainty is king and doubt is the killer of dreams. If you are certain of your potential, abilities, and destiny, you will overcome any obstacle, any adversity, and any challenge. But if you are uncertain, in yourself, your chosen career path, your relationship or anything else, it will inevitably crumble and fall. Certainty is king. Everything else depends on it. 3. Your Health = Your Wealth So many entrepreneurs and high performers assume that they don’t have time to take care of their health. After all, when you are running an 8-figure company, how in the world can you expect to have time to go to the gym, cook healthy meals, and sleep 8 hours a night? Well, according to Bill and many previous podcast guests, you will never have the time to effectively run your company until you are willing to take care of your health. Your health is the spring from which all productivity, happiness, and success flows. If you are overweight, suffering from low energy levels, or operating suboptimally in any area of your physical or mental health, your business will suffer. Period. And yet, if you are anything like the majority of the population, you are probably skipping the gym, eating fast food several times a week, and sleeping only 6 hours a night. Why? Because that’s what society has taught you to do! We’ve been misinformed and taught to believe that success requires massive sacrifices in the realm of health and fitness. Yet, the most successful entrepreneurs I know of claim that the opposite is true. Richard Branson has been quoted as saying that “Taking care of your health is the quickest way to ensure success”. Neil Patel, founder of 3 multi-million dollar companies sleeps more than 9 hours a night. And Dave Asprey, Silicon Valley entrepreneur, and biohacker claims that taking care of his health has more than 10x’d his productivity and happiness. If you want to succeed at a high level, you must take care of your body. So I want to challenge you to take better care of your health for just one week. For just one week, I want you to eat real food, exercise at least 20 minutes a day, and sleep 7.5 hours a night. If you cannot tell an appreciable difference by the end of the week, then you have my permission to go back to the way you were living before you read this article. But I can almost guarantee you that if you take this challenge seriously, you will never neglect your health again. 4. Figure Out Your Non-Negotiables During our interview, Bill shared a number of his daily and weekly non-negotiables, or actions that he is committed to taking, no matter what. And while his own nonnegotiables consisted of weekly massages, acupuncture, and cryotherapy, your own list of nonnegotiables will differ based on your goals, income, and vision. Ask yourself, “What are the things that you must do each day/week/month” to ensure that you are able to live the life of your dreams? For some of you, this will be getting to the gym every morning, doing yoga every week, or taking a few hours to hike through the mountains. For others, it’s spending time with your kids, indulging in an hour of creative time each night, or going on a weekly date with your wife. Whatever your nonnegotiables are, define them, write them down, and commit to them. I promise your life will never be the same. (If you want to hear more about nonnegotiables and how they can improve your life, check out one of the early episodes I did with Wayne Levine) 5. Decide Modern men are undergoing a societal emasculation where the very essence of masculinity is being stripped away piece by piece. Due to confusing gender politics, contradictory evidence, and a slew of b.s. pervading the modern media, men are more confused than ever before about what it means to be a man. Do you need to smoke Marlboro Reds, ride a Harley, and be an international playboy? Should you be soft, sensitive, and effeminate? Do you need to blow shit up, drive a fast car, and make lots of money (Dan Bilzerian anybody?)? What the hell does it mean to be a man? While the answer to that question is dependent on the individual and extremely multi-faceted, there is one trait that is axiomatic among all “real” men. Decisiveness. No one and I repeat no one is attracted to a man who is indecisive, a man who cannot make up his mind and move forward, a man who cannot stand firm in his decisions and take action. If you want to become more of a man, then learn how to make a decision and stick to it. It’s that simple. Do you want to be in better shape? Decide that you are going to go to the gym and eat healthy, then go do it. Want to be better with women? Decide that you will make it happen and then go take some action. Want to make more money? Decide that you will become a millionaire no matter what and then backup that decision with massive amounts of action. Decide. Act. Repeat. This is the pathway to true masculinity.
Chris Winfield is an entrepreneur and productivity expert in New York City. With the use of simple systems, techniques and the power of true focus, Winfield teaches business owners how to get 40 hours of work done in 16.7 and much more. Favorite Success Quote “You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward” ~Steve Jobs Key Points 1. Stop Postponing Your Happiness One of the greatest diseases afflicting modern men is something I like to call “postponitis”. This sickness has ravaged mankind, depriving hard-working men of their happiness, fulfillment, and liveliness for decades. And it all starts with the seemingly innocuous word, “then”. It goes something like this… “I am going to work my ass off, make lots of money, then I will be happy.” “I’ve just got to get this promotion at work, then I will have time to prioritize my health, family, and personal growth.” “Once my startup hits $100,000/month in recurring revenue, then I can relax and enjoy my life.” It’s always “then” and never “now“. Men are living their whole lives in pursuit of some arbitrary goal that somehow gives them permission to live their lives, love themselves, and enjoy their time on this planet. And frankly, it’s complete bullshit! Life happens in the now. It doesn’t happen later. It doesn’t happen when you make your first million. It doesn’t happen when you finally get that promotion. It doesn’t even happen at IPO. Life happens now. And if you are constantly living your life in pursuit of something in the future (something that may or may not happen), then you will miss out on life’s most precious moments and end up on your deathbed, wishing that you had a chance to do it all over again. But you don’t. You have one life, one shot, one opportunity. Don’t waste it living for someday. 2. Money is a Magnifying Glass Tell me if you have ever heard this phrases before? “Money is the root of all evil.” “Rich people are greedy.” “Money can’t buy happiness.” If you have been on this planet for any appreciable amount of time, then I’m going to assume that these sayings have been drilled into your head since the womb. Can I let you in on a little secret? They’re all a load of crap! Money is nothing more than a magnifying glass. If you are a miserable, unhappy, and stingy person, then becoming rich will do nothing except make you a miserable, unhappy, and stingy person with a big bank account. Conversely, if you are a happy, generous, and loving person, then becoming rich will do little to change your life other than giving you assets that allow you to be more generous, happy, and loving. Money simply makes you more of what you already are. So instead of focusing on earning money to attain happiness or believing that money will make you immoral or “greedy”, accept the fact that money is nothing more than a tool that will amplify who you are. 3. Build Your Foundation and the Tower Will Follow Most men set out to achieve success in a way that is completely backward. They start by focusing on their goals instead of themselves. They are more than willing to hustle and grind on their business for hours on end, but spending an hour in the gym? Not a chance! They will drop $10,000 on a business consulting package, but spending $2,000 on a new mattress to improve their sleep and energy? Not going to happen! But here’s the problem… All of your success, whether it’s in your business, relationships, or social life, stems from one thing. You. And if you are not operating at the highest levels, if you are not taking care of yourself, if you are not cultivating habits of excellence, then you are not going to succeed in the other areas of your life (and if you do, then it will not be sustainable). Therefore, creating a strong foundation of health and high-quality habits is the first step to achieving lasting success. Start with your body. Hit the gym at least three times a week, follow a diet that consists of 80% real food (organic if you can afford it), and sleep at least 7 hours a week. Then, with your body in prime condition start building routines and habits into your life that will expedite your success. Feed your mind daily, journal, practice gratitude, and recite affirmations. With these habits in place and your body in an optimized condition, you will be able to achieve your goals at a much faster pace while enjoying your life and feeling fulfilled. 4. The Fastest Way to Recieve is to Give The best kept “secret” for success that almost every millionaire, billionaire, and wildly successful entrepreneur knows is this: If you want to receive tremendous value from the marketplace, your relationships, your network, or your career, the first step is to give tremendous value without expecting anything in return. Let me give you an example from the interview. Since Chris lives in New York, he has a phenomenal proximity to incredibly powerful and affluent individuals. And while this might seem like an advantageous situation, you must remember that most successful people get asked for a lot of shit. They are constantly getting pitched by individuals who are looking for a handout or a handshake and at the end of the day, it can feel exhausting. Luckily, Chris understood this and decided that he was going to take a different approach. Instead of hunting these people down and asking for something, he hosts regular dinners and meet-ups where he asks one simple question “How can I serve you?” He doesn’t ask “What can you do for me?” instead, he flips conventional wisdom on its head and offers value for free. And guess what? It has driven more deals, knowledge, and value to him than any marketing tactic of sales pitch ever has. Why? Because people love and trust people who are willing to give value. Just think about this from your perspective. Imagine you have two friends, one who is constantly asking you for loans, pitching you on his new network marketing products, and pressuring you to join him in business, and one who gives you value in the form of advice, connections, and services… All without expecting anything in return. Both of your friends are excellent copywriters and you have a client who needs a referral for a six-figure copy contract. Who would you recommend? The giver or the taker? Now ask yourself another question. How can you give value without expecting anything in return this week? Who can you help? How can you serve others? As weird as it might sound, the universe has an uncanny way of providing for those who provide for others, so I want to encourage you to be on the lookout for ways that you can bring more value this week. The results might surprise you. 5. The Enemies of Fulfillment are Ego and Expectation Since personal fulfillment is a subject that is unique to every individual, I cannot tell you how to achieve fulfillment in your own life. But I can tell you how to eradicate fulfillment from your life. Allow your ego to control your actions and your expectations to control your relationships. Ego and expectation both have their uses, and in moderation, they can be used as effective motivators and filters to ensure success. However, they become problematic whenever you are the slave, not the master in the relationship. When you allow ego to rule your life and become your sole motivator, you will find yourself pursuing goals that aren’t aligned with your purpose and acting in a manner that is disingenuous and inauthentic. When you allow your expectations to control your interactions, you will find yourself loathing people that you should love for indiscretions that you shouldn’t have noted. The more that ego and expectation run your life, the more you will find yourself at the whims of others instead of captaining your own ship. Learn to curb your ego, swallow your pride and develop some humility. Give others some breathing room, only set expectations that you yourself can live up to, and be forgiving in the face of failure. If you do this, I can promise you that you will live a life that is richer, more productive, and ultimately, more fulfilling.
Tony has been a presenter on Sky Sports since 2006. He is a regular on Sky Sports News HQ, and also the regular presenter of Golfing World. He hosts a roster of other sports on Sky Sports channels 1-5. Tony is also a personal development author and presenter. He has three books published with Virgin Books in 12 languages and is one of the country’s foremost experts on NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). He is the host of top-rated podcast Zestology, interviewing a wide range of experts in the field of health and personal development, and having lots of fun along the way. He regularly appears as a guest on other shows talking about energy, vitality, and motivation. Favorite Success Quote “Men of lofty genius, when they are doing the least work are the most active” ~Leonardo Da Vinci Key Points 1. Do Less to Achieve More I want you to imagine that you have two friends who are starting a business. The first friend is a firey, gung-ho, type-A personality who jumps into building his business operating by the mentality of “Ready Fire Aim!”. He works hard, hustling for 16-20 hours a day, working weekends, and sleeping at his office, but his does so without taking a moment to think or plan. The second friend, although just as oriented for action, takes a few steps back before launching his business. He learns his market, he spends time every day sitting in thought and contemplating his goals, he takes long walks in the parks after asking questions of his subconscious, and when he does start his business, he has a clear picture of exactly what he needs to do and how he needs to do it. Who do you think will be more successful? While society might tell you that the first man will learn at an accelerated pace and achieve success quicker, Tony believes that the second man will actually achieve greater levels of success in the long run. Even though he was doing “less”, spending plenty of time relaxing and living at a leisurely pace, Tony suggests that he will achieve more in his business because he is giving himself the mental bandwidth to properly approach problems and fully understand his goals. Here’s another example. Imagine that I told you and a friend that you needed to get from San Diego to New York. As soon as your friend hear’s the directions, he laces up his Nikes and starts hauling ass towards the East. You, however, take a step back, check your bank account and realize that you have more than enough to purchase a non-stop flight from the San Diego airport all the way to JFK. After eight hours, you have successfully passed through security, boarded the plane, and landed at your destination. Your friend, on the other hand, will not arrive in New York for several weeks (unless he is some sort of ultra athlete). Even though he took more action and did “more” it took him longer to accomplish the task and he had a more difficult journey. As Abraham Lincoln said, “If I had 8 hours to cut down a tree, I would spend the first six sharpening my ax“. 2. You Owe it to Yourself to Pursue Your Passion When has there ever been a greater time to be alive? Life expectancy is up, crime, poverty, and other societal diseases are down and there has never been a time in all of human history where the average man could climb the ranks of society and achieve at whatever levels he desires regardless of race, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or age. There has never been a better time to be alive! So why are you wasting away your opportunities? Why aren’t you pursuing your passions? Why aren’t you using all of the amazing technology and political freedoms that you have to build a life you love, a life that inspires you, a life filled with passion? Why the hell are you wasting this opportunity!? You have one shot at this life, one opportunity to live to the fullest, one chance… Why waste it pursuing careers and goals that you aren’t truly passionate about? I am not telling you that you need to quit your job and start your own company, or even that you need to start a side hustle. I am saying that your life is too damn valuable to waste on uninspiring crap that doesn’t light you up. Do things you enjoy. Pursue your passions. Have fun. You owe it to yourself to enjoy your life! Because you only get one of them. 3. Just Share the Truth Most men suck at telling the truth. It’s just a fact. And I don’t mean that we are all liars or manipulative a**holes. I simply mean that men are terrible at being authentic, honest, and vulnerable about what is really going on. Because, quite frankly, it’s hard. It’s hard to let other people in, to show our weakness, to admit that we don’t have everything figured out. It’s hard to stand out from the crowd and be the only person standing for a specific cause or belief. It’s hard to share your truth and be unabashedly you! But it’s worth it. Because when you share the truth, your truth…. You are free. You are free from the bullshit, free from the expectations of others, and free from all the societal garbage designed to hold you back. Share your truth and be yourself… Because anything else is a waste. 4. Manage Your Energy Not Your Time Have you ever wondered how some people who work so little can accomplish so much, while others, who work their fingers to the bone, can come up short again and again and again? If you have ever spent a significant amount of time among a pool of high achievers, you will quickly realize that hard work alone is not their secret to success. Many of them sleep 9 hours a night (James Altucher and Neil Patel both do this), several spend more time reading than working (Warren Buffet and Bill Gates), and the legendary Richard Branson somehow has the time to run 400+ companies, party on his own private island, and spend time with his family and friends! So what gives? If the answer isn’t spending more time on work, then what is it? Well, the answer that Tony and countless other guests have suggested is that the secret to success and productivity is not time management, but energy management. It doesn’t matter how much time you throw at a task, if you are too lethargic and groggy to properly function, you won’t be able to achieve it no matter how well you manage your time. Therefore, energy, not time should be seen as your greatest asset. But how in the world can one successfully manage your energy when there are so many different forces vying for your attention, time, and effort? While I could write a whole book on this topic (and plenty of my previous guests have), there are three simple hacks that you can implement today to 10x your energy in less than a week. First and foremost, you should give yourself a minimum of two hours a day to totally unplug. No cell phones, no TV, no computer screens, just yourself, your friends, and your favorite activities… That’s it. In our modern world, most people are wildly overstimulated resulting in massive levels of mental and physical fatigue, and while you can fight it for a while, the only truly effective method that I’ve found to reclaim your lost energy levels is to give yourself the gift of unplugging. In addition to stepping away from your iPhone and laptop every day, you must also make an effort to exercise at least 20 minutes a day. While it might seem counterintuitive to do something that takes energy in order to gain energy, study after study has irrevocably shown a direct correlation between exercise and energy levels (not to mention mental and physical wellbeing and longevity). And the good news is that it doesn’t take much! You can try out the simple 7-minute workout promoted by the New York Times, go for a 20-minute jog, or just do a few calisthenics circuits from your office. Whatever you do, I promise that if you stick with it, you will see your energy levels skyrocket. Finally, for the last piece of advice, I must defer to the legendary Peter F. Drucker who said: “What gets measured gets managed.” This is true in your business, your finances, and yes, your energy levels. If you want a simple hack to immediately boost your energy levels so that you can accomplish more in less time and truly enjoy your life, then start tracking your energy levels throughout the day and note the elements in your life that are leading to either an increase or decrease in energy. Every body is unique, therefore what helps or hinders one person’s energy might not have the same effect for you. So tracking your energy levels and noticing patterns is the only way that you can truly optimize your energy and ensure peak performance. 5. Success at the Expense of Your Health Isn’t Success at All One of the greatest ironies of life is that the aggressive Type-A individuals who work themselves to death in order to achieve success are often the same individuals who die young and leave behind their wealth before they can ever truly enjoy it! So many people work day in and day out to build their dream, neglecting their health and letting their bodies fall to the wayside. And when they finally do hit that million dollar mark, epic IPO, or acquisition… They are too tired, fat, and sick to enjoy any of the rewards for their hard work. Why the hell would you want that fate? I don’t know about you, but I am in this for the long haul. If I have to wait until I am 40 to become a millionaire so that I can take care of my body, get to the gym, eat well, sleep plenty, and enjoy my life, I will happily wait on the seven figures. I don’t believe that it’s worth it to arrive at my goal too sick and tired to enjoy it. Realize that nothing is worth your health. No goal is worth losing your vitality. And quite frankly, if you focus on your health first, you will find that your other goals and desires will actually manifest faster because you can pursue them with more energy and clarity than ever before.
Mo Gawdat is the Chief Business Officer for Google [X], a serial entrepreneur and author of “Solve for Happy: Engineer Your Path to Joy” Mo has an impressive combined career of 27 years, starting at IBM Egypt as a Systems Engineer before moving to a sales role in the government sector. Venturing into the UAE, Mo joined NCR Abu Dhabi to cover the non-finance sector. He then became acquainted with the consumer goods industry as Regional Manager of BAT. At Microsoft, he assumed various roles over a span of seven and a half years, in his last role at Microsoft he headed the Communications Sector across Emerging Markets worldwide. Favorite Success Quote “The gravity of the battle means nothing to those at peace” Key Points 1. The Equation for Happiness is Simple Happiness is not complicated. While you might not come to this conclusion by scrolling through your social media feed, watching the latest advertisements, or even reading some of the more popular personal growth and self-help books, when you truly sit down and think objectively, you will realize that happiness is simple. Despite marketer’s best attempts to prove otherwise, happiness isn’t contingent upon some wild, complex, equation. In fact, the equation for happiness is almost too simple. Happiness is equal to or greater than the events of your life minus the expectations you have for those events. That’s it. The equation isn’t “Happiness = Fancy Clothes + A 6-Figure Salary + An Italian Sports Car and a French Bikini Model” It’s simply events – expectations. But what does this really mean? At the most basic level, it means that your happiness in any given situation, and thus your happiness in life, is entirely dependent on the difference between what you expect from a situation and how that situation actually turns out. So, for example, let’s say that the event in question is coming home to your wife after a long day of work. Let’s look at how your expectations of the event will determine your happiness. On one hand, your expectation might be that when you come home after a long day of work, your wife should be preparing dinner, opening you a cold beer, and wearing a sexy outfit that tells you she’s “in the mood”. On the other, your expectation might simply be that your wife should be relaxing and unwinding after her long day of work and that the two of you should prepare dinner and unwind together. While neither of these expectations are right or wrong, they can have a tremendous effect on your happiness and well being. If you come home with the first set of expectations and your wife has already prepared dinner but left it in the oven and is now relaxing on the couch… You are going to be unhappy and angry because your expectations were not met. However, if you come home to the exact same situation with the second set of expectations, you will not only be happy, but you will feel an abundance of love for your wife because she went above and beyond and exceeded your expectations. So now, you might be wondering, “If the secret to happiness is to have lower expectations, shouldn’t I just stop expecting anything so that I will never be disappointed?” Well, yes and no. While eliminating your expectations would certainly make you happier in the short run, it proves detrimental to your well being and success in the long term. If you have no expectations of yourself or others, then you will mistreat yourself and allow other people to walk all over you. Therefore, the key to happiness is to first become conscious of your expectations and then consciously and intentionally craft a new set of expectations that serve you and your purpose in life. 2. We Are All Born Happy An often forgotten truth of life is that we were all born happy. All of us. We are born carefree and loving, without any hate, anger, or animosity in our hearts. It is our society that teaches us to be unhappy, to compare ourselves to others, to hate our fellow man, and to be unfulfilled. And once you become aware of this reality, it is your job to undo the programming that society has instilled into your brain. Luckily, the process for “deprogramming” all of the crap in your brain is simple, however, this doesn’t mean it’s easy. The best way to start is to pick up some sort of daily mindfulness practice whether it’s meditation, prayer, long walks in nature, or even just some sort of conscious movements like yoga or Tai Chi. These practices allow you to detach yourself from the human experience and the brain’s programming and become more aware of how you or your “superconscious” are meant to function. Let’s use the analogy of a new computer so that you can understand what I mean. Whenever you get a new computer, everything runs smoothly. It functions exactly as it was designed, quickly opening applications, seamlessly running commands, and doing its job without a problem. But over time, things start to slow down and problems start to arise. You begin downloading new programs and applications, visiting questionable websites, and demanding more of your computer than the software and hardware were designed to handle. And as you execute increasingly demanding operations, your computer starts to slow and malfunction and what once took 2 seconds now takes 2 minutes. When this happens (and it almost always happen) the only way to restore its original performance is to return it to default settings and execute a complete factory reset. In much the same way as a computer’s default setting is speed and efficiency, our brain’s default setting is happiness and contentment. But when we start installing (willingly or unwillingly) societal, religious, and familial expectations into our “operating system”, we start to get bogged down, and experience unhappiness. And when this happens, the only way to return to our original state is a “Factory reset” which typically takes the form of meditation, affirmations, journaling, and other consciousness practices. These practices are kind of like our brain’s “CTRL + ALT + DELETE” function and the more you can integrate them into your daily life, the smoother and faster you you will operate. 3. Your Emotional State is Determined by Your Thoughts, Not Events One of the simplest, but most impactful, formulas that you can understand to achieve a happy life is this: E + R = O Or Event + Response = Outcome In other words, your emotional outcome (happy, sad, angry, loving) is not determined by the events in your life, but rather by your response to the events in your life. For example, let’s say that you are going out to meet up with a friend. You agreed to meet at the local coffee shop around 8 a.m., but when you show up he is nowhere to be found. You order your drink, a few minutes go by, and your friend is still absent. At this point, you can respond in one of two ways. First, you can assume that your friend does not respect you, get angry, and allow his tardiness to dampen your mood. Or, you can simply assume that your friend had some sort of extenuating circumstance that stopped him from showing up on time and reframe his lateness by saying, “Great! This gives me a few minutes to read that new book I bought“, resulting in a happier and more fulfilling morning. In these two examples, the event was exactly the same, but by changing the response to the event, you achieved two wildly different outcomes. When you understand the far reaching applications of this formula, your life will begin to change in ways that you could never expect. Mastering your emotional response to any circumstance gives you power over the events in your life instead of allowing those events to have power over you. And when your internal world remains unaffected by the chaos of the outside world, you will have true power in your life, business, and relationships. 4. Learn to Differentiate Between Incessant and Effective Thoughts As it pertains to our happiness, there are only two kinds of thoughts. Effective thoughts and incessant thoughts. Effective thoughts are the thoughts that move the needle forward in your life, thoughts that solve problems, achieve goals, and give you a deeper understanding of your place in the cosmos. Incessant thoughts are the negative thoughts that do nothing to improve the quality of your life or happiness even when they are true. In the interview, Mo shared a powerful example detailing the difference between these two thoughts during a tragic situation. At the age of 21 years old, Mo’s son Ali died on the operating table during a routine surgery that should have been quick and simple. Shocked and in pain, Mo was overwhelmed with a wave of thoughts and feelings that can only be comprehended by people who have experienced a similar tragedy in his life. Over the coming weeks and months, Mo was faced with a single, pervasive and incessant thought, “I will never get to hug my son Ali again.” However, as he continued grieving for his son, he realized something. This thought would not bring Ali back, it would not change reality, and it would not benefit humanity. So he made a very conscious decision to change his thinking. Instead of thinking “I will never hug my son again”, he reframed the tragedy and said, “My son is dead, now it is my duty to remember his legacy by living my life as he would have wanted and impacting the world in honor of his memory.” And while this new thought didn’t take away the pain of losing his child, it allowed him to cope with the loss and make sense of the heart break. Each of us is faced with the same thoughts day in and day out. Even if we haven’t lost a loved one, we are all faced with our own “Incessant thought demons” that seek to cripple us and hold us back from living a happy life. Whether we are constantly thinking about a mistake that we regret, a relationship that we ruined, or an opportunity that we lost, we all have incessant loops of unhelpful thoughts playing in the back of our mind. And the biggest problem with these thoughts is that 99% of the time… They are true! But just because something is true, does not mean that it is advantageous. For example, if you lost the woman of your dreams because you were too focused on your work and not focused on the relationship, you might be faced with the incessant thought “I will never have her in my life again”. Chances are, this thought is true. But does it serve you in any way!? No! Instead, you can choose to reframe this thought by saying “I will never have this woman in my life again, so now it is my duty to learn from my mistakes and move forward so that I can find love once more… Only this time, I will make it work.” The moment that you can learn to eradicate incessant thoughts and replace them with intentional and effective thoughts is the moment that your life will be irrevocably changed for the better. 5. Money Doesn’t Make You Happier… Unless Countless studies have been conducted on the correlation between money and happiness, and what they found was rather interesting. Money only affects your happiness up to a certain point. If you are living below the poverty line, increasing your income to a stable and livable level will drastically improve your happiness. However, going from $100,000 a year to $100,000 a month will only have a marginal impact on your happiness and mental well being. However, once you have passed roughly $7,000 a month, increasing your income will only result in a nominal increase in your happiness. So, for example, if you go from $100,000 a year to $250,000 a year, your happiness will not increase by any appreciable amount. If this is true, then why is it that so many rich people seem to live better and happier lives? Because they give so much of their money away! Studies have found that one of the only ways money can make you happier after you have passed the $70,000/year threshold is if you are giving more of your money to charitable causes, family, friends, and organizations that you support. For example, if you earn an extra $20,000 bonus this year and then use it to put a down payment on a new sports car, your happiness will only increase marginally and temporarily. However, if you took that same $20,000 and paid for a vacation with some of your closest friends, your happiness would increase dramatically and the effects would last much longer. So yes, money is important for your happiness. If you cannot afford to put food on the table, increasing your income is one of the quickest ways to increase your happiness. But after your basic living expenses are covered, giving your wealth away and spending it on the people you care about is the only way to leverage your money to increase your happiness. 6. Life is a Video Game and Challenges Make the Game Fun Life is not fair, it is not perfect, and it is not easy. But I’ll let you in on a little secret… That’s what makes life fun! I want you to imagine that the new Call of Duty just came out, and after months of anxiously anticipating the game’s release, you take it home and start playing. You go through the tutorial, launch the first level, and then get ready to kill some virtual bad guys. But there’s a problem… There are no bad guys to kill and no challenges to overcome. Every level is simply a linear progression where you run from the beginning to the end as quickly as you can, avoiding all signs of danger or adversity. Does that sound like a fun game? Probably not. And guess what? Life is nothing more than a very intense and large scale video game. So why in the world would you want it to be easy? Why would you want a challenge and problem free life? Just think about it for a moment. Imagine that I came to your house tomorrow and gave you an Olympic Gold Medal. How would you feel? If you are anything like me, you would probably think that the medal was pretty cool, but after a few minutes of looking at it, you would quickly feel disenchanted and bored because you did nothing to earn the medal. You’d probably sell it or leave it in your sock drawer because it has no significance in your life. But imagine that you have been training for the Olympics since you were 12 years old. You worked every single day for the past ten years of your life, and when you finally had the opportunity, you competed and won. How would that medal make you feel? I would chance a guess that the medal would have more meaning and significance to you than darn near anything else that you owned. Why? Because you worked for it, you suffered for it, and you endured more pain than most people are willing to endure in order to call that medal your own. In much the same way, we gain meaning in our lives by overcoming challenges, by enduring pain, and by beating adversity. Life isn’t meant to be easy. It’s meant to be a challenge. A challenge that you enjoy and have fun with, yes. But a challenge nonetheless. 7. You Don’t Find Your Purpose… It Finds You So many people in the modern world are concerned with finding their purpose. But they fail to realize that you don’t find your purpose, your purpose finds you. People don’t just wake up one day and say “Hmm, I know exactly what I am meant to do and how I am going to do it”. Instead, they find the intersection of their passions and talents and they work for years honing their skills, setting and conquering goals, and becoming better and better. Then, when they have mastered their craft, an opportunity presents itself, often in the most unlikely manner, and all of the hard work they put in begins to make sense. If you want to live a life of purpose, then you must first start by building your skills and growing yourself until you are ready to handle your purpose. Typically, this means working on rather mundane skills and projects so that you can grow your capacity as a human being. Think about the classic Karate kid movie where Mr. Miyagi had his student wax the car and paint the fence. These tasks seemed dull, monotonous, and frustrating. But, when the time came, and the first punch was thrown, these dull tasks that the Karate Kid had practiced suddenly made sense and he realized that he had been practicing for the purpose of learning a new skill. Steve Jobs summarized this truth when he said You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
Jack Kornfield trained as a Buddhist monk in the monasteries of Thailand, India, and Burma. He has taught meditation internationally since 1974 and is one of the key teachers to introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West. After graduating from Dartmouth College in Asian Studies in 1967 he joined the Peace Corps and worked on tropical medicine teams in the Mekong River valley. He met and studied as a monk under the Buddhist master Ven. Ajahn Chah, as well as the Ven. Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma. Returning to the United States, Jack co-founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, with fellow meditation teachers Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein and the Spirit Rock Center in Woodacre, California. Over the years, Jack has taught in centers and universities worldwide, led International Buddhist Teacher meetings, and worked with many of the great teachers of our time. He holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is a father, husband, and activist. His books have been translated into 20 languages and sold more than a million copies including his most recent book, No Time Like the Present: Finding Freedom, Love, and Joy Right Where You Are. Favorite Success Quote “Look at every path closely and deliberately, try it as many times as you think necessary, then ask yourself and yourself alone one question: Does this path have a heart? If it does the path is good, if it doesn’t it is of no use.” Key Points 1. Did You Love Well? Most people live their lives focusing on all of the wrong things. They spend their time caught up in the societal hamster wheel trying to keep up with the Joneses, get that next promotion, and finally “make it” … At least according to society’s standards. But what they fail to realize is that society is broken. We are operating under outdated and ineffective ideologies and philosophies that no longer serve humanity. At the end of the day, there is only one question for which you will be held accountable for… How did you love? How did you treat the most important people in your life? How did you care for your neighbor? How did you love the people who mattered most and the people who had no one else to love them? When it is all said and done, it won’t matter what kind of car you drove, what sort of house you lived in, or what type of watch adorned your wrist. All that matters is how you loved. 2. Seek Validation from Yourself and Yourself Only One of the biggest mistakes that people, especially men, make when it comes to living a happy and fulfilling life is that they search for validation outside of themselves. Men, in particular, commonly seek external validation from the women in their lives. They mistakenly believe that if they have a hot girlfriend with a tight body and an insane sex drive that they are somehow more of a man that they are worthy, that they have all the validation that they need. The problem is that men stop valuing themselves and their own opinions and beliefs and start valuing only the approval and validation of women. This makes it easy for men to compromise their character and value in order to feel like they are a “real” man. And it’s total crap. The only person from whom you should seek validation is yourself. Are you happy? Are you pleased with the man you are becoming? Are you fulfilled? Because at the end of the day, that is what matters, not the validation given to you by others. 3. Take Time to Quiet Your Mind We live in an age of incessant noise and distraction, yet despite our vast swaths of resources, no one has seen it fit to teach society how to quiet their mind and listen to their inner voice. Instead, our lives are run by advertising, sitcoms, and viral YouTube videos that do little to make us better or help us align ourselves with our deepest desires and the true calling of our hearts. Is it any wonder that depression, anxiety, and divorce rates are at an all time high?! If you want to live a life that is more in tune with your life’s purpose, with your true mission, and with your deepest happiness, then you must learn to quiet your mind and listen to that inner voice on a daily basis. This doesn’t have to be complicated. Simply sitting in meditation, prayer, or contemplation for a few minutes a day will allow you to tap into your inner wisdom and find the guidance that you (likely) need.
Dan Clark began his career as an athlete, playing football for the Los Angeles Rams and in Europe. He later starred as Nitro on the extraordinarily popular reality television show American Gladiators. Clark then turned to acting and screenwriting. He wrote, directed, and starred in the independent film Looking for Bruce. He recently hosted ESPN Classic’s American Gladiators marathon, and he continues to consult on the revamped American Gladiators franchise. He is the author of the memoir “Gladiator: A True Story of ‘Roids, Rage, and Redemption” and is currently authoring his next book. “Fuck Dying: How Cheating Death Kicked My Ass into Loving, Learning, and Living my Best Life”. Favorite Success Quote “Sports taught me about life. Almost dying taught me how to live” ~Dan Nitro Clark Key Points 1. Don’t Wait to Be Happy Men in the 21st century seem convinced that happiness is something that can only be attained. It can only be attained when you get the hot girl, make the 7-figures, drive an Italian sports car, launch your company, or have that dream body. But the truth of the matter is much different. Happiness is not something that you attain. It is something that you give yourself. Right now, in this very second, you have everything you need to feel happy and deeply believe that you have and are enough. Right now, you can give yourself the gift of joy by choosing to focus on what is good instead of what is missing. Right now, this very second, you have the power to be happy. But many of you reading this are not… And, in my experience, the primary reason that men don’t allow themselves to feel happy is that they believe happiness will steal their drive, ambition, and hunger. And sometimes, they are right. It’s a fine line to walk, and when you base your happiness on the wrong things, you might find that happiness does steal your ability to achieve and excel. However, when you predicate your happiness on who you are and how you show up in the world… That’s when the game changes. When you can give yourself permission to be happy now because you are working towards becoming the man that you need to be, that’s when the world will open up to you and you will find yourself becoming the best man you can become… And enjoying the hell out of the process. As our first guest, Hal Elrod says, “Love the life you have while creating the life of your dreams.” 2. Comparison is the Theif of Joy It seems that our entire economy has been built on comparison. If you look at the marketing and advertising for any popular company, you will undoubtedly notice that they are sending us a very loud and very clear message. You are not good enough. You don’t have the six pack like he does, you don’t have the car this guy drives, you don’t have the business this 20-year old built, you don’t have the girl like this pop star does. And the list goes on and on. Society encourages us to compare ourselves to others and enter into a laughable competition where we constantly try to gain a leg up on everyone else. But guess what? Comparing yourself to others is the most dangerous trap you can fall into. Because there will always be someone who is smarter than you, bigger than you, better than you at something! This is just how we were designed, it’s nothing more than biology and genetic variation… It doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of love and joy or that you shouldn’t be proud of yourself just because someone else is doing better. Now some of you reading this might assume that comparison itself is a bad thing, but that’s not necessarily the case. Comparison is only bad when we compare ourselves to others instead of the person we have the potential to become. Compare yourself to who you want to be and who you know you have the potential to be. Compare your current reality to the reality that you know is waiting for you if you can just rise up and take action. When you entertain these kinds of comparisons, you will find that your life will start to transform and you will show up with more passion, enthusiasm, and best of all, joy. 3. Big Boys Don’t Cry… But Real Men Do When we are young, we are taught “Big boys don’t cry”. We are told that showing emotion is a sign of weakness, that crying makes you a bitch, and that any displays of discomfort or internal turmoil immediately makes you a “beta” male. And while that might have been true in the world of cavemen and neanderthals, it’s not true in modern life. If you want to be a “real” man, a man who can show up with power, precision, and excellence, then you must cry. You must learn how to deal with your emotions in a positive way instead of simply suppressing feelings that you dislike. Emotions, in their most basic forms, are messengers. They occur whenever we need to know or understand something. Anger sends you a message that you have been wronged. Sadness sends you a message that something important to you is not the way that it should be. Happiness sends you the message that you are on the right track and making the right decisions. Emotions are messengers. And when we suppress the message, we end up doing more harm than good because we are not addressing the problem that the emotion is trying to warn us of. However, when you allow yourself to feel everything deeply and intimately and ask yourself the question “What is this trying to tell me”, you empower yourself to move forward in your life and take charge of your mental and emotional well being in a powerful way. When you feel angry, you don’t suppress it. You feel it and notice that it’s happening because someone is violating your standards. Now, you have the power to resolve the situation and eliminate the emotion. When you feel sad, don’t suppress it. Instead, feel it and figure out why you are sad. What is causing your emotion? Find the answer, resolve the situation, and move forward in your life. Big boys might not cry. But you can be damn sure that real men do. 4. Express Gratitude for the Smallest Moments of Beauty Life is precious. And sometimes, it takes knocking on death’s door to realize this. When Dan had his heart attack, he came back with a renewed sense of appreciation and gratitude for even the smallest things in his life. He spoke about the gratitude and awe he feels simply at the smell of coffee in the mornings. He talked about how the flowers on the side of the road (which he used to ignore) fill him with a sense of wonder and joy. Because at one point… He never thought he would smell the coffee or see those flowers ever again. And because of this, he is grateful. Luckily for you, you don’t need to experience a heart attack or near death experience in order to enjoy and appreciate the small moments of beauty in your life. The only thing that you must do is commit and notice. Each day when you wake up, find 3-5 simple beauties that you are grateful for. Maybe it’s the way that the sun is coming through the windows, the peace you see on your partner’s face while they sleep, the aroma of your morning coffee, or the ecstasy that your dog expresses whenever you come out of your room. Whatever it is, notice it and write it down. I promise that if you make this a habit, your world will never be the same. 5. Just Do Something If you feel stuck in your health, your business, or your relationships… Just do something. Don’t overthink it, don’t overanalyze it, just do something. If you are writing a book and can’t figure out the perfect thing to put down on the paper… Just write something. Let it suck. Then edit it later. If you are struggling with your health and can’t figure out how to lose that extra weight… Just do something. Go do 1,000 pushups, run a half marathon, or lift some weights and figure out the exact mechanics as you go along. If you are struggling in your relationships, just do something. Start the conversation, open that door, be willing to be honest and vulnerable. Whenever you find yourself stagnating, just do something. As Winston Churchill said, “The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, but the worst thing you can do is nothing.”
After successfully launching his career at Booz-Allen & Hamilton strategy consulting firm, Krister’s father tapped him on the shoulder and asked him to move back to St. Louis to apply his knowledge and experiences to help the family business. Ungerboeck Software had just celebrated its 12th anniversary and needed some fresh ideas and new leadership techniques. Within 3 years, Krister had helped turn around the 14 person business and grow revenue 250%. Over the course of the next 20 years, Krister and the capable team at Ungerboeck Software grew the company over 3,000%. The team added customers in over 50 countries served out of offices in St Louis, UK, Germany, France, Australia, Hong Kong and China. During his time as CEO, the company won 5 consecutive Top Workplace awards and had employee turnover 50% lower than the industry average. From 2001 – 2007, Krister moved to France and Germany to drive growth in Europe and the Middle East (EMEA). During that period, EMEA accounted for nearly 75% of the company’s revenue growth. In 2016, Krister executed a unique exit strategy that involved retaining 100% family ownership, while passing the torch to an exceptional non-family team that he personally recruited in 2014 and 2015. As part of the leadership transition, he formed a Board of Directors and recruited external Directors, a new CEO and VP Finance to guide the company going forward. Ungerboeck Software continues on to great success under non-family leadership as one of a handful of large, 100% family-owned software companies in the US. Favorite Success Quote “What got you here won’t get you there.”~Marshall Goldsmith Key Points 1. What Gets You Here Won’t Get You There One of the most common (yet foolish) assumptions in leadership and management is that “What got me here will get me there”. Or, in other words, what it took to get your company to $1,000,000 is the same thing that it will take to get your company to $10,000,000 or $20,000,000 or more. But nothing could be further from the truth. In order to growth hack, or rapidly accelerate the success of your business, you must be willing to take new approaches, create new positions, hire new managers, and even reduce your personal paycheck for a short amount of time. Growing a company takes sacrifice. You will have to delegate tasks you would rather do yourself, hire employees who you might believe unnecessary, and methodically remove yourself from the minutia that once demanded so much of your time. So be prepared. Rapid growth is achievable and it is a helluva ride. But it is also one of the hardest things you will ever do. 2. Understand the Importance of Positive Feedback Many of the leaders that I know come from homes where positive reinforcements were either absent or unnecessary. They were either the student with overbearing parents who burdened them with unachievable expectations, or they were the star football player, straight-A student, and Student Body President who knew they were killing it and didn’t need any reminders. And when you are raised in either of these environments, you find that positive reinforcement and signs of approval and satisfaction are rare. And since positivity was a rare commodity during childhood, these individuals tend to carry this trend with them into the board room. This is when things start to get messy. If you are trying to build a company, you must realize that a company is made up of individuals, many of whom will be like you. However, the vast majority of the people that you hire will come from wildly different backgrounds than your own, with wildly different needs and expectations. And this is great! You want to be surrounded by a diverse group of minds and ideas who can attack challenges and obstacles from angles that you didn’t even know existed. However, when you are unable to tailor your leadership style, particularly your ability to give positive reinforcement to employees, is when you will start to fail as a CEO or president. You might not need positive affirmation, but your employees do. You might thrive on criticism and challenge, but many of your employees don’t. And you need to be aware of this. Learning to positively reinforce underperforming employees is possibly one of the most difficult but rewarding skills that you can master. And the sooner you can do it, the sooner you will elicit massive growth. From your employees, your company, and best of all, yourself. 3. You’re Not That Smart I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not that smart. I don’t care who you are, what degree you have, or how many accolades current adorn your home dresser. You are not that smart… Period. I don’t mean that you have a low IQ or that you aren’t incredibly well versed in your craft, I simply mean that you are not smart enough to handle the vast demands required to grow a company to the 7, 8, or 9 figure range by yourself. You need people in your corner who are smarter and better than you at what they do. Sure, you might be an amazing product engineer, marketer, or leader, but can you set up all of the necessary servers in your IT department? Can you run the HR department by yourself? Can you specifically target your Facebook advertising to maximize your ROI while drastically cutting your budget? If you can, then I want to take my hat off and applaud you… Because you are some sort of superhuman. But if you are like the rest of us, then you will quickly realize that you cannot create massive growth by yourself. You need people who are smarter than you, better than you, and hungrier than you who can meld into your brand and mission and help you accomplish your goals in record time.
Seth Swirsky is a best selling author, clinical psychotherapist, artists, songwriter, and creative. He is most well known for his book “21 Ways to a Happier Depression: A Creative Guide to Getting Unstuck from Anxiety, Setbacks, and Stress” Favorite Success Quote “Every morning when I wake up, I ask myself, What is Salvador Dali going to do today?” ~Salvador Dali “Life is in the striving, not the arriving” Key Points 1. Be Open to Who You May Be and Regrow Your Balls Men in the 21st century are suffering from an identity crisis. Not because we don’t know who we are or who we want to be, but because society and PC culture have told us that who we are is wrong. It’s wrong for men to be men. It’s wrong for you to have your own pursuits and passions. It’s wrong for you to do anything other than work your fingers to the bone in pursuit of arbitrary goals that aren’t really aligned with who you are. And let me tell you… It’s bullshit. You are allowed to be who you are, you are allowed to be happy, and you are allowed to do whatever you damn well please. Many of you reading this are avid video game enthusiasts who have given up your hobby, not because it interferes with your life, but because society has told you that it makes you weak. Many of you reading this love art and music but have relegated these pastimes to the realm of “Someday” simply because society has told you that you should focus on your work. Many of you reading this want nothing more than to pack a backpack and go out into the great outdoors, yet society has told you to be more reasonable and do the safe thing. But guess what? Society is broken and it’s time for you to reclaim your masculinity, regrow your balls, and do the things that you want to do. Life is short and precious, so stop wasting it trying to live up to societal standards that don’t serve you and your mission. If you want something, go get it. If you want to do something, do it. Be who you are and enjoy your life… It’s the only one you’ve got. 2. Women Want to Be Heard Society has tried to make us believe that women want a 6′ 2″ man with a chiseled jaw, big arms, a deep voice, and a bank account containing countless zeroes. And once again, society is wrong. Of course, women want an attractive, athletic, hard working man. But what they want even more is a man who makes them feel heard. A man who doesn’t pretend to listen to them but who actually shuts the hell up and just listens! Women don’t want a man who pretends to listen, who shuts his brain off and zones out, they want a man who truly hears them, who understands what they are saying and who genuinely cares. Take a common example. Your spouse or significant other comes home to a house sink full of dirty dishes and a house that looks like something out of Hoarders. You’ve had a long day at work and, much to their chagrin, you are sitting on the couch relaxing. Your wife starts to angrily complain about how you never clean the house or help out with the household chores. In this moment, you have three options. You can ignore them, you can get defensive, or you can listen… Really listen. If you choose to listen you will realize something. Your wife, most likely, isn’t upset about the dirty house or the nasty dishes, they are upset because they don’t feel like their time and energy is being valued. So instead of getting defensive, take a step back and listen. Acknowledge what your wife is trying to tell you and respond accordingly. “I hear you babe, and if I understand what you are saying, you are upset because you never feel like you have time to relax and unwind. I’m busy with work too and I understand… So why don’t we just hire a house cleaner to take care of things so that we don’t have to worry about it anymore? Would that make things easier for you?” Do you notice how this response acknowledges your wife’s feelings and makes her feel like she has really been heard? When you learn to apply this skill of really listening in your romantic relationships, you will find that the majority of your problems and disagreements disappear. 3. Optimize Your Environment to Optimize Your Life If you want to optimize your life, reduce stress and anxiety, and truly operate at peak levels of performance, then you must optimize your environment. Plenty of “gurus” and entrepreneurs will claim that you should ignore your environment and simply hustle your way to your goals, but the truth of the matter is that your environment is stronger than your willpower. If you are trying to quit smoking and your work at a tobacco shop, you might be able to kick the addiction… But you will be much more likely to end the habit once and for all if you are in an environment that makes it difficult for you to have that cigarette. Similarly, if you are a ball of stress and anxiety, coming home to a messy home with violent movies playing on the television and loud noise from the neighbors keeping you up at night, your stress and anxiety will multiply. However, if you can optimize your environment by eliminating clutter, creating a space that elicits feelings of calm and serenity, you will find that your stress and anxiety will become manageable. Do not underestimate the power of your environment. If you have been struggling to get motivated, beat an addiction, move on from a divorce, or any plethora of other struggles, the key might lie in changing your environment. Whether you need to move apartments, cities, or even countries, when you can change and optimize your environment to be more conducive to your goals, you will find that your life and success starts to accelerate at an unprecedented pace. 4. Take a Break Seriously… As men it’s easy to get trapped in hustle mode, working ourselves to death in order to achieve goals that aren’t truly aligned with our purpose. And when your nose is constantly to the grindstone, it can be difficult to examine your life, solve problems, and enjoy the precious moments each day. So take a break. Step back from the laptop and just relax. Give yourself permission to enjoy your life. If you want to sit in front of the TV, watch a few hours of football and crash out with a beer in your hand… Do it. If you want to play Call of Duty after a long day of work, then load up your darn Xbox, join a match, and go kill some virtual baddies. If you want to sit in your room with a nice glass of wine and an empty canvas, then do it! Create your own masterpiece and enjoy your damn life. Stop working so hard and start enjoying your life more. The funny thing is, that when you start to take more breaks when you give yourself permission to relax, your brain will unwind and be better equipped to handle the adversity and challenge of your work life. It might seem counterintuitive, but I promise, it works. 5. Know When You are Mismatched How many times have you heard the saying “Marriage is hard work”? A lot, right? Have you ever taken a step back and considered that this statement might be a steaming load of crap? What if relationships weren’t meant to be hard? What if you weren’t supposed to have an endless stream of fights and frustrations? What if your relationships, especially your marriage… Is supposed to be easy? Well, I am here to tell you that it is. Yes, you will have fights in any relationship. Yes, you will have disagreements. Yes, you will have times where things are hard. But the sum total of your interactions with your spouse or significant other should feel easy. It should flow naturally. If you find that your relationship is requiring too much work and effort, chances are good that you are not in the right relationship. Marriage was never meant to be this phenomenal challenge… It’s meant to be a fun relationship between two people whose goals, futures, and dreams are genuinely aligned. If you find that your current relationship doesn’t match up to this, then you might need to take a step back and reexamine things. Are you truly meant for each other? Are you truly matched with your current partner? If not, it’s time to cut your losses and move on. Life is simply too short to waste it in relationships that aren’t meant to be.
Adam Braun is an American entrepreneur, best-selling author, and philanthropist. He is the Founder of Pencils of Promise, a non-profit organization that builds schools and increases access to education for children in the developing world. He has recently founded a company called MissionU which is an alternative to higher education that is set to disrupt the industry and change the way that we view higher learning. Favorite Success Quote “Live not in dreams but in contemplation of a reality that is perhaps the future.” ~Rainer Rilke Key Points 1. Say “No” More One of the most powerful words in the English language is the word “No”. If you learn to use this word effectively, you can add dozens of hours of productive time to your weeks, reduce your mental and emotional stressors, and eliminate the vast majority of the tasks that aren’t truly serving you. But there’s a catch… In order to become a master of the word “No” you must first learn to prioritize your own time, success, and happiness above anyone else’s. It might sound selfish or egotistic, but the simple fact of the matter is that you should come first. If you aren’t taking care of yourself by saying “no” to the things that aren’t serving you, then you are withholding your potential and your power from the world. Think about it… If you say “Yes” to working on a project for 3 clients even though that project will not pay you what you are worth and isn’t in alignment with your goals and values, then what’s going to happen when you are swamped with work but have a new client reach out to you with a position that would change your life? Or imagine that you have said “Yes” to several meetings that you didn’t want to attend and that didn’t serve you in any way… You are now forced to say “No” when an opportunity presents itself that is in true alignment with your vision. And all of these seemingly little and innocuous compromises will eventually accumulate until you are off track, off purpose, and up to your neck in things that aren’t part of your ultimate mission on this planet. 2.Learn to Delegate Richard Branson, the (in)famous entrepreneur, author, playboy, and philanthropist was once asked to share the secret behind his numerous billion-dollar companies. His answer was surprising… He didn’t say anything about needing a good idea, or working hard, or having lots of capital. No, he said that his secret was to find people who were better than he was, hire those people, and provide them with everything they needed to take his companies into the stratosphere. If you truly want to excel at business, then you must learn to delegate. Find people who are better than you are at a given position and give them the reigns. Because you can’t do it alone. And you would be a fool to try. 3. Be an Entrepreneurial Missionary, not a Mercenary There are two types of entrepreneurs. Missionaries and mercenaries. The entrepreneurial mercenary has one focus… Money. And while money is not necessarily a bad thing (as we will discuss momentarily) you need to realize that anyone who is solely focused on wealth will likely lose motivation, tire out, and quit. Instead, you should strive to be an entrepreneurial missionary, or, in other words, an entrepreneur whose end goal encompasses more than just a few added zeroes in your bank account. You need to have a mission for your business, you must genuinely want to serve the world and make an impact, and believe that you are the person to do it. Otherwise, you will spend years of your life tirelessly chasing money and success without ever making a real dent in the universe, without ever making a difference. And the irony of all of this? Entrepreneurs who focus on adding value and serving their world first tend to be the entrepreneurs who make the greatest profits in the long run. So regardless of whether you own your own company or are working for someone else, do your best to ensure that every step you make and every goal you set is for a purpose and a mission greater than yourself. The results will astonish you… 4. Money is an Avenue to Freedom Money is a complicated beast. It can bring about so much joy, happiness, and fulfillment, but it can also be at the heart of so much pain, agony, and suffering. Because of the dichotomous and confusing nature of money (and the fact that few of us receive a relevant financial education), it can be easy to fall into the trap of viewing money as either “Evil” or the “End all be all” of life. I am here to tell you… It’s neither. Money is simply an avenue to freedom, it’s a tool, an instrument to be wielded by those who possess it. With money, you can do some incredible things. You can transform lives, build a lasting legacy, and create a real impact on the universe. Without it, your options are severely limited, and your freedom is hindered. The sooner you realize that money is a tool and that in and of itself, has no moral standing, the sooner you will be able to create real wealth for yourself that you can use to bring about a significant amount of good in the universe. 5. Set a Vision, Stick to It, and Stay Accountable If you want to achieve your goals and live a life of success and fulfillment, then you must set a vision, stick to it, and get massively accountable. You see, most of you reading this right now have at least one of these three steps in order. Maybe you have a vision, but you are constantly changing it and find yourself unable to follow through. Maybe you have been working tirelessly towards a goal or a dream but you know in your heart that it isn’t truly congruent with your values and deepest desires. Maybe you have surrounded yourself with people who lift you to a higher level and want you to excel… But you have no vision for which they can hold you accountable. Whatever the case may be, if you want to excel in all areas of life and truly live a level 10/10 life, then you must set a crystal clear vision for what you want, stick to that vision, and get massive accountability from people you respect and admire. If any one of these ingredients is missing, the whole ship will sink and your dreams will never come to fruition. Set a vision. Stick to your vision. And get accountable. Now…
Alejandro Chabán is an author, motivational speaker, certified nutrition and wellness consultant, founder and CEO of Yes You Can!®, and is one of the most popular Hispanic celebrities in the entertainment business. He has dedicated his life to sharing his experiences of battling eating disorders and obesity as a teenager, his journey from a bullied kid in school to an admired TV personality and health and wellness expert, and to helping others to transform themselves the way he did. Favorite Success Quote “Feel the fear and do it anyway” Key Points 1. Turn Your Mess into Your Message One of the biggest mistakes that most men make is trying to hide from their past. Men who have suffered from addiction, obesity, depression, or are convicted criminals will try and brush their checkered history under the rug and forget about it. But when they do this, they are doing a disservice to themselves and the world. Because the truth of the matter is that your greatest failures are your greatest assets… Your mess is your message. Don’t discount where you came from or the adversity that you have overcome. It is the adversity, the struggles, and the failures that make you relatable… That gives you power. Men are dying for help… Whether they are trying to beat an addiction to cocaine, overcome their negative self-image, or surmount a deep depression, they need help. And the only people who are truly qualified to help are those individuals who have been in their shoes, who know what they are going through and how to fix it. Do not deprive the world of your most powerful message because you are scared of sharing your mess. Instead, turn your mess into your message and give yourself permission to change the world. 2. You Need to Find Intrinsic Motivation Why do you want to succeed? Is it because you want to piss off your parents? Prove something to your girlfriend? Make your distant relatives proud of you? With all due respect… F*ck that. Creating real success is hard. Really hard. And on your path, you will be presented with obstacles and adversity that seem unconquerable and you will ask yourself on a daily basis “Why am I doing this?” If your only reason for pushing forward is to make someone else happy or to prove something to someone else…. You will fail every single time. However, if you can connect your goals to a deep intrinsic motivation, a motivation that transcends the material goals of this world, a motivation that lights you on fire… Then no obstacle will stand in your way, no adversity will be too challenging, and no setback will prove significant in the long run. Because when you have a strong “Why”, a deep and visceral reason for achieving success that goes beyond your desire for acclaim and financial gain… Then you become unstoppable. 3. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyways As simple as it sounds, the number one thing holding most men back today is fear. They are afraid of losing their comfortable jobs, afraid of ruining their current relationship, afraid of achieving success and alienating the people that they love… They are afraid. And that’s ok. Whenever it comes time to take a big leap in your life, whether it’s quitting a job, proposing to your girlfriend, or dropping everything on a whim to go and work with a mentor… You should be afraid. But the key is to feel the fear and do it anyway. Get scared… Get terrified… Get paralyzed by fear…. And then feel that fear, and take action regardless of your emotional state. When you become a master of fear, you become a master of life. So feel the fear and do it anyway. 4. Be Quick to Act and Quick to Contemplate If you want to achieve real success in your life, then you must start by taking immediate action on your goals and dreams. If you want to start a business, don’t wait until you have a plan and a perfect team. Go register your LLC, buy a new website domain and get started TODAY. If there is a woman in your life whom you are crazy about but haven’t had the courage to ask out yet, grab yourself by the balls, man up, and go ask her out to dinner. If you are overweight and unhealthy, don’t wait until you have all of the information you need to get healthy, just clean out your pantry, take a long walk each morning, and sign up with a personal trainer. Success loves speed. And if you aren’t willing to take decisive action and take it now then your hopes and dreams will be hijacked by the men who will. 5. Realizing that You are Lost is the First Step to Being Found The first step to achieving success is realizing and accepting your current reality. In other words, you cannot be found until you accept that you are lost. Don’t hide from your reality… Accept it. If you are broke, overweight, socially awkward, or off purpose… That’s ok. Accept that things are the way they are and that you and only you have the power to change it. Don’t look at your life through rose colored glasses. Instead, be objective and honest about who you are and how your life looks right now, and once you have a clear picture of your current reality, commit to making a change.
Dan Martell is a Canadian Entrepreneur and most recently, the founder of Clarity.fm. He’s an experienced Angel Investor who has invested in over 23 tech start-ups. Prior to Clarity, Dan was the co-founder of Flowtown (Acquired 11′), founder of Spheric Technologies (Acquired 08′). He has also been a mentor at 500Startups, GrowLabs & theC100.org. Favorite Success Quote “Become the person who can deal” ~Dan Martell Key Points 1. If You Want to Be a Millionaire You Have to Handle Million Dollar Problems Everyone wants to be a millionaire… But the problem is that most people aren’t able to handle million dollar problems. They want the outcome without the action. They want the reward without responsibility. And this approach never works. Just take lottery winners for example. They immediately come into a windfall of cash with millions, sometimes tens of millions of dollars, but they never did a damn thing to earn that money. And five years after their success, studies have shown that they are often worse off than before they won. Why? Because their character didn’t backup their success. You have to earn what you want. If you want to become a millionaire, then you must become the kind of person who can provide millions of dollars of value and handle millions of dollars worth of problems. And quite frankly… Most of you reading this can’t. Yet… So go and focus on developing yourself and becoming the type of person who can handle the challenges and can provide the requisite value to achieve your goals. Because when you go after your goals with this mindset, success becomes all but inevitable. 2. Own It! I’m going to let you in on a little secret here… Shit happens. Life can be chaotic, things will not work out, businesses will fail, lovers will leave you, friends will turn on you… Shit just happens. And I’ll let you in on another little secret… It’s ok! Failure and frustration are an integral part of life, it’s not a question of if it will happen to you but how you will respond when it does. If you are like most people, you will try to pin the blame on someone else, you will deny the reality of your problems, and you will avoid addressing the situation until the last possible minute. But since you are listening to this podcast, you aren’t like most people. And therefore, you must own your problems. When shit happens… OWN IT. When a business fails, a girlfriend walks out, a friend gets angry, own the problem, own your part in the problem, and figure out what you can do moving forward to ensure that it never happens again. 3. Be Grateful for All You Have 150 years ago, if you wanted to go to Canada, you would have been forced to travel for months on end and risk death or serious injury. Today, you can fly there in a matter of hours. 100 years ago, if you wanted the information that we give away for free on this podcast, you would have had to track down each guest individually, convince them to speak with you, and then pick their brain for an hour or more (or at the very least found one of their books). Today… It’s only a mouse click away. You have a lot to be grateful for. We live in an age of unprecedented opportunity, ease, and access and 99% of the things that you take for granted on a daily basis would have dropped our ancestor’s jaws to the floor. We don’t have to hunt… We go to the grocery store. Most of us no longer work hard physical labor, we work at a cushy desk. And if we want to get somewhere, we can tap a button on our phone and have our own personal chafeur show up to our home in under 10 minutes! You have a lot to be grateful for. So starting today, be fucking grateful! Write down three things that you are grateful for each and every day and never lose sight of who you are and just how lucky you are to be alive in this day and age. 4. Be Yourself and Put it Out There If you look at the most successful entrepreneurs in 2017, from the Tim Ferriss’s to the Grant Cardone’s to the Gary Vaynerchucks, you will notice one consistent factor. They are all completely and unapologetically themselves. They don’t care what other people think they don’t care who they offend, they show up in the world authentically and they put it out there for others to see. And if you want to create lasting success, you must do the same. Be who you are. Don’t apologize for it, and don’t ask permission for it. Be who you are and share it with the world. Some will love you, some will hate you, some won’t care and that’s ok. As long as you are living authentically and sharing your gifts and talents with the world, at the end of the day you can call yourself a success. 5.Think About The Long Game In a society built upon instant gratification, you must be a man focused on the long game. Don’t look at the 1-5 year impact of your decisions, instead ask yourself, “What are the ramifications of this decision 20 years from now?” Because here’s a simple fact, 20 years from now you will arrive… The question is “Where”. Will you arrive in style because you were patient, played the long game, learned, grew, and invested? Or will you arrive chasing yet another shiny object because you lacked the discipline and the long term focus to make things work? The choice is yours.
David Schloss is the CEO and Founder of Rampify and Convert ROI, two top level marketing and advertising agencies that have generated over $25 million in revenue for their clients. He has been featured on CNBC, CNN Money, and the Miami Herald. Favorite Success Quote “Opportunities don’t happen, you create them” ~Chris Grosser Key Points 1. All Success Comes from Mastering the “Three P’s” The formula for success is simple. No really… It is. If you want to be successful, all you need to do is master what David calls the “Three P’s”. Practice Patience Persistence Seriously that’s it. Whether you want to lose weight, build an amazing business, or get better with women, the formula is the same. First, you must practice the important skills and habits required by your craft. Whether you are practicing copywriting, certain weight lifting movements, or going on dates with beautiful women, the first step is always practice. But practice in and of itself isn’t enough. You must be patient and give yourself time to succeed. You can’t expect to lose 100+ lbs. the first time you go to the gym, make $1,000,000 from your first sales letter, or immediately seduce, fall in love with, and marry the first woman you meet! You must be patient and give yourself the time required to become a master of your craft. And finally, you must persist. Because here’s the thing… Even when you are diligently practicing your craft and patiently waiting for results, you are going to hit a speedbump. You will lose a client, get dumped by a woman you love, or injure yourself in the gym… It’s inevitable. But it’s during times of adversity where champions are made. Because if you are willing to persist and overcome these setbacks and losses, on the other side of these adversities is success. 2. Make Your Own Opportunites Thomas Jefferson once said “I am a great believer in luck. And I have found that the harder I work, the more of it I have.” This sentiment was true hundreds of years ago when our Founding Fathers fought to liberate the United States from British rule and it is true today as you prepare to pursue whatever goals you have set for yourself. Opportunity isn’t given at random. It’s presented to individuals who have earned it, individuals who have hustled and worked towards achieving their dreams and goals and are ready to accept the responsibility of new opportunities. So if you want an abundance of opportunity in your life you must be willing to embrace the grind and go make your own opportunities. 3. Focus on Your Service So You Never Have to Focus on Sales Many entrepreneurs and business owners struggle to generate leads and close down new clients. It seems like no matter how hard they try to grow their client Rolodex and increase their customer retention, they are constantly fighting an uphill battle to get and keep new customers. The reason? They are focused on their sales instead of their services. You see, when you have services and products that blow your customers out of the water, they will naturally refer new clients to you and tell everyone they meet about your awesome work. Think about Tony Robbins… Each and every year he sells (literally) millions of dollars worth of online programs, high-performance coaching, and live seminar tickets. And while he certainly uses online advertising, and email marketing in 2017, for the longest time his company operated almost exclusively through word of mouth. In fact, the majority of his initial success (which resulted in a $400 million IPO) was a direct result of his client referral programs. If you want to build a business that will stand the test of time, you need to master online marketing, there’s no doubt about it. But even more important than any social media platform or native advertising tactic are the services and products that you provide. If you can wow your customers if you can provide an experience, not just a service, and if you can go above and beyond the call of duty to serve your clients, the results will speak for themselves and you will never have to chase a client ever again. 4. Be Careful Who You Have in Your Corner Nothing will have a greater impact on your life and success than the people who you allow into your life. From friends to mentors to spouses to family members, the individuals who you let into your life can make or break your happiness and success making it crucial that you are highly selective when building your social circle. For David, his girlfriend was one of the driving factors behind his success. She supported him and believed in his even when he didn’t believe in himself. However, I have friends who are in the opposite boat. Their significant others are the primary reason that they are not succeeding at high levels! In your own life, you need to take stock of your social circle, and this includes your family and spouse. Are they helping you or hurting you? Are they pushing you towards greatness or keeping you mired in mediocrity? 5. Make Time for What is Important People will often complain that they “don’t have enough time” to spend on the things that are important. And quite frankly, this is a load of crap. You will always have time for the things that truly matter to you, and if you don’t have time, then you can make time. If you claim that your wife is important to you but you can’t remember the last time you went on a date with her, then you need to hire an assistant to free up your day and start taking your wife to lunch. If you say that your health is important but you never exercise and rarely eat anything other than fast food, spend a little bit less time growing your business and start a simple workout routine with one of your friends. Stop making excuses and start finding ways to carve out time for what really matters. Business and money are important, there’s no doubt. However, without your health and without people to share your success with, no amount of money or fame will fill the hole in your life.
Frank Ostaseski is a Buddhist teacher and leader in contemplative end-of-life care. In 1987, he co-founded of the Zen Hospice Project and later created the Meta Institute to train professionals in compassionate, mindfulness-based care. He has lectured at Harvard Medical School, the Mayo Clinic, Wisdom.2.0 and teaches at major spiritual centers around the globe. His work has been featured on the Bill Moyers PBS series On Our Own Terms, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and in numerous print publications. In 2001, he was honored by the Dalai Lama for his compassionate service to the dying and their families. He is the author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully Favorite Success Quote “It always seems impossible until it’s done” ~Nelson Mandela Key Points 1. Keep Death Close at Hand You are going to die. I am going to die. Everyone that you love and hold dear is going to die. Life is fleeting, it’s brief, and sometimes, it can feel, as Thomas Hobbes said, “Nasty Brutish and short“. I don’t say this to scare you, but rather to wake you up to the reality of life. Life is precious, each moment that you have is a gift, and the only way that we can truly feel this and remember the beauty of life is by remembering that it must come to an end. Therefore, it is important to keep death close to us. To meditate on it, to remember it, and to embrace it, not run from it, so that one day when our time finally comes to an end, we can look death in the eyes with a smile and face the final curtain knowing that we lived a life that was full and open no matter how long or short it might have been. 2. There are Only Two Things that Ultimately Matter in Life Frank has spent several decades of his life working in hospice with individuals who are close to death’s door. And in his experience, there are only two things that ulimately mattered to any of them. They didn’t care about the number of horsepower in their engine, how many square feet their estate was, or how expensive their watch was. They only cared about two things: How they loved Who loved them At the end of their lives, when these individuals came to the end, all they really cared about was who they loved and who loved them. They wished that they had been better fathers, husbands, sons, friends, and citizens of this world. But for those of you reading this… It’s not too late. None of us know how much time has been given to us or when it will run out, but we know that it will run out. And because of this knowledge, we have the power to live more fully, to love more deeply, and to receive love on a deeper level than ever before. 3. Don’t Wait Why is it that some people have to be diagnosed with a life-threatening disease before they take a step back and truly appreciate their lives? Why is it that so many of us wait until the end before we ever truly live? I want you to imagine that you walked into the Doctor’s office tomorrow and you were told that you had terminal cancer and only had a year left to live. How would your life change? How would you show up differently? Would you love more? Appreciate the small things? Stop complaining about the petty distractions of life? Express gratitude for all of the abundance and joy flowing into your life? What would you do? Now let me ask you another question… Why in the world do you need to wait until the end to start living like this? Why can’t you live in the moment now? Why can’t you appreciate the small things and express gratitude now? Why can’t you open your heart to give and receive more love now? Well, you can… And you should. 4. Welcome Everything In every person’s life, they will be presented with experiences that are both “good” and “bad”, and most people run from the bad and towards the good. This is a mistake. Most of life’s greatest lessons and greatest experiences are on the other side of pain and suffering. Think about it… If you ask most parents, they will tell you that raising a child is one of the most amazing and precious things that they have ever done and yet, for childbirth to happen, the mother must endure extreme pain (at least they did prior to medical advancement) to bring that child into the world. Or think about going to the gym. The physical and mental rewards of strenuous exercise are tremendous! From increased productivity, happiness, libido, and general satisfaction with life, training has a massively positive impact on your life. But to reap those benefits, you must endure the agony of tearing your muscles down and literally damaging your body so that you can come back stronger. Life is the same way. Everything that you fear, the loss, the heartbreak, the sadness, and the pain… It all has a lesson to teach you. But before it can teach you that lesson, you must first become fearlessly receptive. 5. Wholeness Doesn’t Mean Perfection, It Means No Part Left Out You, me, and everyone else in the world is imperfect. And we often try to hide this imperfection by putting on a facade and pretending that we have it all together. But here’s the thing… Just like there is beauty in the impermanence of life, there is beauty in your imperfection, there is beauty in your darkness. But you must be willing to accept it, learn from it, and seek to change it for this “dark side” to truly serve its purpose. We are all imperfect beings living in an imperfect world, pretending otherwise is foolish.
Known as”The CEO Whisperer”, Cameron Herold is an entrepreneur, highly paid speaker, author, and business coach. He was responsible for taking the company 1-800 Got Junk from $2 million in annual revenue to over $106 million in annual revenue in only 6 years. He works with and coaches some of the most prolific individuals on the planet including multi-millionaires, politicians, monarchs, and Fortune 500 CEOs. Favorite Success Quote “You’ll never be smart enough to figure this out on your own. Your R&D should stand for be rip off and duplicate. millions of companies have already spent millions of dollars figuring out virtually every problem and every opportunity you will ever encounter. Just do what they’re doing. Instead of trying to sit down and figure it out for yourself, you already have the cheat sheets, just go ahead and use them” Key Points 1. Always be learning always be growing If you want to have an exceptional life, not a good life, but an exceptional life, then you must commit to constant and never ending growth. Cameron recently attended an event in Las Vegas with dozens of other high profile entrepreneurs including Cole Hatter, Grant Cardone, and Tai Lopez, and he noticed that every single one of the speakers was actively listening and taking notes while the other individuals were on stage. Many of these people already had 7, 8, and even 9-figure businesses. However, despite their success, they were still attentive and engaged in the event, constantly seeking to learn something new. And if you want to create the best life possible for yourself and your family, then you must have the same voracious appetite for knowledge. Never ignore an opportunity to learn and improve yourself, never assume that you already know something, and never take the wisdom of other’s for granted. 2. If you can control your time you control your world Many people think that entrepreneurs only care about money. And sometimes, this is true. However, most people who delve into the world of entrepreneurship do so because they understand one important thing. When you control your time, you control your world. When you are at the beck and call of your manager, supervisor, or boss, you will never truly have control of your time. When you are dependent on active income for your livelihood, you will never truly control your time. When you give control of your financial destiny to others, you will never have control of your time. Entrepreneurship allows you to change all of that. Sure, entrepreneurship can be even more stressful than working for a business because everything depends on you. But because everything depends on you, you have absolute control of your schedule and your life. You are able to say “No” more, work on your own time, take days off when you want, and live a life that most people dream of. It’s hard work, but it’s worth it. If you can find a way to create a lifestyle in which you control your schedule (even if you technically work for someone else) then you have achieved one of the ultimate successes in life. 3. Being “Messed Up” Can Be Your Biggest Asset Most entrepreneurs are ADHD, bipolar, and suffer from some form of Tourrettes. And guess what? They often succeed because of these so called “disabilities”, not in spite of them. Having severe ADHD allows you to juggle countless projects simultaneously, engage in moments of hyper focus, and constantly be bouncing from idea to idea. Having a manic-depressive personality is what allows you to persuade people to join your team and work for you even when things aren’t going as well as you had hoped. Tourettes, a.k.a. thinking out loud is a hallmark of some of the greatest geniuses and businessmen in all of history. The point is, being “messed up” or “disabled” isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, if you know how to leverage them, your disabilities can often become your biggest strengths. 4. Good Enough = Success So many of you reading this are being held back by your own perfectionism. You are so focused on making everything that you do perfect, that you never embrace “Good Enough” and actually get it done. Being good creates momentum. Being perfect keeps you stagnant. Think about Apple. Techniologically, they are one of the most inferior companies on the market. But because their product is good enough and they have an incredible marketing team and millions of raving fans, they are one of the most successful tech companies in the world. Think about McDonald’s. Their product is inferior to just about any other burger on the planet and it’s actually been linked to serious health problems. b But because it’s “good enough” and backed by incredible marketing and culture, they continue to succeed as one of the highest grossing fast food chains in the world. If you want to be great, focus first on being good. Once you have achieved “good”, market the hell out of it, rinse and repeat. 5. Understand that Your Network is Your Networth Nothing will accelerate your results and happiness or keep you mired in mediocrity as much as your net work. If you are surrounding yourself with grade A+ players who keep you on track and inspire you to do great things, you will find yourself breaking through to new heights and achieving goals that you never thought possible. If the company that you keep regularly engages in low caliber behavior and holds low caliber attitudes and mindsets, you will quickly find yourself sinking further and further into a pit of failure. Possible the most important thing that you can do on your quest for the good life is to be intentional about who you allow in your circle. You are the average of the five people you spend your time with most. Ask yourself, “Who are my five people and do I want to be anything like them?”
Nate Lind is the founder of Legendary Man and Legendary Beard, an 8-figure e-commerce company that provides men with high quality beard grooming products. Favorite Success Quote “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” ~Winston Churchill Key Points 1. You Must Educate Yourself to Succeed No matter what your goal, ambition, or desire, the first step is always the same… You must take massive action and educate yourself on the details of your pursuit. If you want to build the body of your dreams, start by figuring out what the best meal plans, training programs, and supplement stacks are for your specific goals. If you want to build a successful business, then start by educating yourself on the nuances of marketing, sales, and management. If you want to become a master at dating and relationships, then devote time to understanding the female psyche and social dynamics. Whatever it is that you want to achieve, it is possible… But first, you must take the time to understand it and fully educate yourself about the path to achieving your goal. 2. Embrace the Hero’s Journey Once you have a clear goal or vision in mind and have taken the time to educate yourself on the best way to achieve that goal, it’s time to step into your warrior and embrace the hero’s journey. This journey will look different for everyone, but the general framework is always the same. In your life, you will face some kind of challenge or adversity. Maybe, like Nate, you are struggling with obesity and unhealthy eating habits. Maybe you are struggling financially or in your career. Or maybe your marriage is failing and your children barely know who you are. Whatever your particular challenge might be… embrace it. Own it, step into it, and get ready to overcome it. Each of us has the power to overcome our biggest obstacles and live a life of joy, achievement, and fulfillment, but we must first take that big scary plunge into unknown and embrace our hero’s journey. Accept your path, accept the adversity, and accept the consequences of the decisions that you have made in your life. Because once you have taken full responsibility for your life, you can embark on your quest and change it. 3. Know Thyself Gary Vaynerchuk, one of the most prolific entrepreneurs and businessmen of the 21st century has a well-known belief that all success stems from self knowledge. He and Nate both believe that the first step to creating real success in any area of your life, is to know with 100% certainty who you are. You must cut the b.s., look at yourself objectively, and take an honest look at your strengths, weaknesses, and opportunities for growth. When you cut through the crap and see yourself as you are not as you want to be, you have true power and the ability to go after goals that are congruent with who you are and how you operate. Nothing is more powerful than operating from a place of strength. And when you know yourself better than anyone else, you will know exactly what opportunities and endeavors you should pursue. 4. Get Uncomfortable Life doesn’t happen inside of your comfort zone. Life doesn’t happen inside of your everyday routines. Life doesn’t happen in the complacent, normal, everyday actions that keep us living a life of ease. Life happens at the edge of your comfort zone. It happens when you push yourself just a little further than you think you can go. It happens when you get out of your old ruts and routines and embrace a new way of thinking, acting, or being. Life begins where your comfort zone ends. If you want to live a truly remarkable and exceptional life, then you must break free from the chains of comfort and embrace a new way of living. You must do things that scare you, step into your fears, and conquer them. When you can master your own desire for comfort and ease, you can master your entire life. 5. Train Your Body One of the simplest yet most powerful habits that you can build into your life is to regularly train and develop your body. Your body and mind are inextricably connected and if you want to truly perform at the highest levels in your work, social, and romantic life, then you must start by optimizing your physical life. You are no good to the rest of society if you are constantly tired, lethargic, and weak. You cannot truly perform at the highest levels if you are overweight or physically untrained. Therefore, your first step towards greatness in life should be to pursue greatness in your body. Get in the gym, clean up your diet, take a cold shower, and build the body that you deserve. I promise you won’t regret it.
Timothy Sykes is a stock trader who turned his $10,000 Bar Mitzvah money into $4,000,000 through exposing the losing game of penny stocks. He then went on to found Profit.ly a community of 84,000 traders, and run a leading trading coaching program called Millionaire Trader Favorite Success Quote “Be patient be dedicated and realize that it’s a marathon not a sprint.” Key Points 1. Challenges Make Life Worth Living You will often hear personal growth gurus and “enlightened” philosophers espousing the belief that “Life is a journey not a destination.” As cliche as it sounds, anyone who has ever achieved “real” success in life knows it to be true. Achievement is incredible. Reaching your goals is exhilarating. Finally feeling like you are “Making It” gives you a buzz that no substance can compete with. But it doesn’t last… Because as human beings, we have evolved to constantly seek new challenges and accelerate the old status quo. Challenges are what make us come alive, they are what give us meaning, and they are, when it’s all said and done, what life is truly about. You were not meant to earn a million dollars and then retire on an island in the sun. You were meant to innovate, to find new ways to stretch yourself and progress your life. And when you understand this… Everything changes. You will no longer see challenges as a “Bad” thing. You will no longer view hardship as a problem. You will realize that overcoming challenges is ultimately what will give your life meaning and purpose. 2. Money Might Make You Happy but it Won’t Keep You Happy When you take the previous point a step further and apply is specifically to money, you will realize that the age old adage “Money can’t buy happiness”, while technically untrue, has its merits. Money can buy happiness and pleasure. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either lying or has never actually had any money. Knowing that you never have to work again, knowing that you have absolute freedom, knowing that you can do what you want, when you want, with who you want will make you happy. But it isn’t enough to keep you happy. Eventually, you will get bored. Regardless of how much money you have, if you are not growing and challenging yourself on a daily basis, you will eventually feel stagnant and depressed. This is why most successful entrepreneurs who take a few years off after a big I.P.O. (thinking that they’re done for good) return to the game almost as quickly as they left it. Money might make you happy, but it won’t keep you happy. You need to use it to help others, explore new challenges, and push yourself to grow and evolve. 3. Stretch Yourself and Shoot for Big Goals When I was surfing through Quora the other day, I saw a very generic question asking “How can I make a million dollars by the time I’m 30?” Personally, I felt that this was a ridiculous and arbitrary question. However, when I started looking through the answers, I saw a response that caught my eye. The most popular answer in the entire thread started out by posing a counter question, “Why are you playing so small? Why not shoot for something bigger?” During my conversation with Timothy, he shared a very similar belief. Over the past few years, Tim has been building schools with a charity called Pencil’s of Promise and he’s already donated in excess of $1,000,000 helping fund 30+ school builds. However, for Tim, this is just the tip of the iceberg. His goal is to build over 1,000 schools in the coming years… A $35,000,000 undertaking. While we were talking about this project, he admits that this is a huge goal and that it’s entirely possible that he will never reach it. However, it’s the thrill of having something so big to shoot for that keeps him going. In your own life, how can you 10X your goals to push yourself and get excited? How can you set a vision and a dream so big that you are thrilled to jump out of bed every morning and pursue it? Remember, if you aim for the moon you may hit a stump. But if you aim for a stump… You might miss. 4. If You Don’t Know what You Want to Do, Do Something We live in an age of such unprecedented opportunity and possibility that our society has succumbed to something called “Analysis by paralysis”. Basically, people have so many freaking options to choose from that they can never choose one thing. If you recently graduated high school or college and had only a few thousand dollars to your name, you could realistically dive into about a dozen different businesses in hundreds of different niches. For the first time in human history, just about anyone who lives in the Western world has the ability to be and do whatever they want (if they put their minds to it). The only problem is, most of us don’t know what we want. So we wander aimlessly, afraid to take action and step into the unknown. But I’m here to tell you… Just take action. Just do something even if it’s the wrong thing. As long as you are making moves, you can pivot and change later down the line to ensure you are making the right moves. But if you are standing still… You’ll never get anything done and you will never achieve the success you are looking for. 5. The Game Isn’t Over Until It’s Over One of the most common questions and concerns that I see on the Knowledge for Men Facebook page, in my Quora feed, and even in the inquiries that are sent to my inbox is this… “Andrew, I’m [insert age]… Am I too old to start a business, meet the woman of my dreams, achieve my ideal body etc. etc.?” The answer? Of course not! If you still have breath in your lungs, then you still have time to pursue your dreams. Some of the most successful and prolific entrepreneurs didn’t get started in business until their 50’s, 60’s, and even 70’s. Many more didn’t achieve the success that they truly wanted until a few years before their death… But they did achieve it. The game isn’t over until it’s over. It’s never too late to go after your dreams and do the things that you truly want to do. And it’s never too early. So step up and embrace this. Go for the things that you want in life regardless of your age or experience. If you are on this planet and you are still alive, then you’ve got time to make it count and achieve your dreams. The only question is, will you take action or not?
Lewis Howes is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach, author and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. Lewis hosts The School of Greatness podcast, which has received millions of downloads since it launched in 2013. Lewis was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. He is a contributing writer for Entrepreneur and Yahoo.com and has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Men’s Health, The Today Show and other major media outlets. Favorite Success Quotes “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care” Key Points 1. Show that You Care As men, we have a pathological need to feel important, to feel special, to feel powerful. To fill this need, most of us walk through our lives searching for ways to make other people see how important we are. We work ourselves to death at jobs that we hate so that we can afford to buy things we don’t need. We stay in relationships that we should have left years ago because the person that we are dating is attractive and popular. We live our lives for the approval and validation of others while forgetting one obvious truth. No one cares. Seriously… No one cares about how much money you have, how hot your girl friend is, or how many horsepower your car has. The people in your life are struggling with plenty of trials and struggles as it is, do you really think they’re going to care that you bought a “Luxury Class” Mercedes instead of a Standard? What people want and desperately need isn’t another person who’s caught up in their own lives.. What they need is someone who cares, someone who listens, someone who is real. The people in your life are dying to connect, they are dying for someone who is real, they are dying for someone who genuinely cares about them and is willing to listen and be present. If you really want to impress someone (which shouldn’t be your focus to begin with), then show them how much you care, don’t show them how much you have. 2. Vulnerability is the Key to Freedom If you are reading this right now, then chances are good that you’ve been hurt. Some of you have been hurt so deeply and so profoundly that you have never shared your pain with another living soul. And it sucks… When you’ve experienced trauma and pain in your life, it’s easy to get stuck in your head, to become isolated and believe that you are alone or that no one would love you if they knew the truth. In an effort to protect yourself and others, you put up a wall between yourself and the people that you love, closing yourself off from the people who care for you the most. And then you let the pain sit inside of you and simmer. Until one day, that simmer turns into a boil and you find yourself exploding in ways that you never thought possible. Until one day, the wounds have become so deep and so painful that they change who you are. This is the path that most men take… Most men refuse to seek help, guidance of support in times of trauma and suffering. They think they have everything figured out and do their best to act the part. But I’ll let you in on a little secret…. You are killing yourself and you are killing your relationships. The past only has power over us so long as we allow it to. When you are willing to embrace vulnerability, trust the people in your life, and open up about your deepest fears, regrets, and experiences, your whole life will change. For Lewis, this meant opening up about the sexual abuse he experienced as a child. For nearly 25 years, he’d kept the pain bottled inside until one day, it all came out on a basketball court and he got into a vicious fight with another player. The encounter shocked and humbled him and made him realize that he needed to talk to someone and he needed to get help. And so he did, he opened up to a select group of people about what had happened to him as a child and, much to his surprise, the response he received was nothing but love. People told him that they could trust him more, that they felt more connected, and that they respected him on a deeper level because of the pain and trauma he experienced. As time went on and he shared his truth with more and more people, he eventually arrived at a point in his life where he could share his story without feeling the pain in the same way. Through sharing his authentic truth and being vulnerable, he healed the wounds of the past. But what about you? What are you holding onto that you need to let go? What pain has been keeping you back and weighing you down? I want you to write that thing down right now and commit that before the day is over, you will find someone to talk to, even if it’s a professional. I promise that if you are willing to take this scary leap, your life will never be the same. 3. Why Are You Doing What You’re Doing? One of the biggest mistakes that we as men make is that we detach our what from our why. We spend all of our time pursuing goals, dreams, and opportunities but we never really know why we do any of the things that we do. We hustle and grind all day long and for what? For most men, it’s for the paycheck or the status, but as many of you have already realized, this is never enough. You must have a strong and deep why for what you are doing that extends beyond yourself. If you want to live a truly extraordinary and exceptional life, then you must live your life for the greater good and not just yourself. Find ways to serve and love and improve the lives of others and your own life will be filled with joy, and love, and opportunities that you could never imagine. It might seem cliche and worn out, but there’s a great deal of truth to the adage that “Living is giving”. So let me ask you… What are you giving and why? 4. Pause, Breathe, and Smile You can read all of the books that have ever been written on the topic of emotional control, masculinity, and mastering yourself and, unfortunately, there will still be instances where you want to explode and rip someone’s head off. It’s just human nature. While you cannot control the initial flood of emotions that happens in these circumstances, you can control your reaction. When you start to feel these negative thoughts and emotions creeping into your mind and body, take a step back and notice them. Acknowledge them and be aware of them… Don’t try to fight them. Once you are aware of the internal dialogue and the reason for your emotional response, take 10 deep breaths and mentally detach yourself from the situation, doing your best to look at things through the lens of an objective observer. Then, once you have regained your center, look around you and smile. You are blessed and you have a lot to be grateful for. Smile and remember this. 5. It’s All About Finding the Balance In a world that seems to be driven by the “Hustle and Grind” mentality, it’s easy to lose balance and start living a life that is completely and utterly consumed by your work. When this happens, it’s important to take a step back and regain your inner balance. Life is seasonal. There are times where you will need to hustle, grind, and push forward. There are times where you need to take a step back and rest. Learn to differentiate between the two and your entire life will transform before your eyes.
Chris Guillebeau is the New York Times bestselling author of The $100 Startup, The Happiness of Pursuit, Born for This, and The Art of Non-Conformity. Chris travels the world and writes for a small army of remarkable people at ChrisGuillebeau.com, or you can listen to his daily podcast, Side Hustle School, at SideHustleSchool.com. Favorite Success Quote “Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.” -Alan Keightley Key Points 1. You Don’t Have to Live the Way You Are Told Go to school, get good grades, attend college, find a cushy job with nice benefits, buy a house, get married, have 2.5 kids, die. That’s the script that most of us have been told to follow. We’ve been fed a steady diet of lies and misinformation that make us believe that there is only one way to approach life, that there’s a select set of goals and ambitions that are acceptable and the rest are heresy. Luckily for you and me… There’s more to life than what we were told growing up. Since the inception of the internet, it’s easier now than it’s ever been in human history to create a sustainable income doing something that you love. It’s easier than it’s ever been before to shrug off the expectations and “should’s” of society and to go about life in our own way. You don’t have to do what anyone else tells you to do. If you want to go to college, get a job, get married, and buy a house in the hills, then great! If you don’t, if you want to drop out, travel the world, start an online business, and live the expat lifestyle, you can do that too. You have the power to decide who you want to be and what you want to do. You have the ability to decide for yourself what kind of life you want to live. Make the most of it. 2. What One Man Can Do Another Man Can Do In a world that glamorizes the end result without giving so much as a second thought to the process, it’s easy to look at the successes of others and believe that their accomplishments are out of your reach. But they were people just like you. Grant Cardone, Gary Vaynerchuk, and yes, Chris Guillebeau are all just normal people who have done extraordinary things. There’s nothing special about them, they didn’t have any unique advantages that you don’t have, they were just normal everyday guys who applied proven principles and tactics to achieve extraordinary results. Whatever it is that you want to achieve in this life, it’s possible, and the first step on your path to making it happen is to acknowledge that it’s possible. What one man can do, another man can do. If it’s been done before it can be done again. Always remember this and always keep your head up. 3. A Side Hustle is an Asset One of the biggest mistakes that people make when it comes to building a side hustle is to think that a “Side Hustle” is the same thing as a part-time job. There’s nothing wrong with freelancing or working part-time, but at the end of the day, these endeavors all require the same thing… Your time. No matter how highly paid you become, anything that directly requires your time to make money is a part time job, not a Side Hustle. A side hustle is an asset, it’s something that can make you money while you sleep, it’s something that you can set and forget. It’s something that generates revenue without consuming your life. 4. Your Hustle Isn’t that Big of a Deal I know countless individuals who work jobs that they love. They decide to build a side hustle, quite simply, because they want the extra cash. After weeks of brainstorming and agonizing over potential paths they could take, they eventually collapse into a puddle of nerves and anxiety. Not because the task ahead of them is so monumental, but because they have put their side hustle on a proverbial pedestal. They turned it into something that it wasn’t. A side hustle is nothing more than a fun project that you work on in your spare time to generate extra revenue. That’s it. You don’t have to be passionate about it as long as you enjoy it. You don’t have to make 6-figures with it (unless you want to). You don’t have to turn it into anything of significance. It’s just a way to make extra income doing things you like. So don’t worry about finding your “One Thing”. Make a list of 10 different side hustles, try each one for 2-3 weeks and if you don’t like it, throw it in the garbage and start the next one. This is an experiment, treat it as such. 5. Just Get Started No matter what goal you are pursuing, whether it’s to travel the world, find your dream job, or simply start a side hustle to earn an extra $2,000 a month, the first step will always be the hardest. You will always second guess yourself, over analyze, and eventually, give up if you don’t take the first step and dive into the water head first. Just get started. As simple as it sounds, it’s the key to about 90% of success. Just get started, take the first step, write the first word, buy that domain, talk to that girl, do whatever it is that you need to do to move towards your dreams. Get started today. Because tomorrow you will wish you had started yesterday.
Jon Acuff is the New York Times Bestselling author of six books including his most recent Wall Street Journal #1 Bestseller, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done. For over 20 years he’s helped some of the biggest brands in the world tell their story, including The Home Depot, Bose, Staples, and the Dave Ramsey Team. Most recently he’s spoken to hundreds of thousands of people at conferences, colleges, companies and churches. Featured regularly on national media, Jon has been seen on CNN, Fox News, Good Day LA and several other key outlets. In addition, Jon is also a big proponent of social media with blogs that have been read by 4 million people and almost 300,000 twitter followers. In 2010 he used his influence with his tribe to build two kindergartens in Vietnam. Jon lives with his wife Jenny and two daughters in Franklin, TN. Favorite Success Quote “Starting is fun, but the future belongs to finishers.” Key Points 1. Starting is Fun But Success Belongs to Finishers Do you remember the last time that you started a new workout program or online course? Do you remember that warm fuzzy feeling you got in the pit of your stomach while you were starting a journey towards your goals? Now let me ask you another question… Do you remember the last time that you actually went through and completely finished a book, workout program, online course, or anything else of importance? Most of you don’t… And this doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you lazy, it makes you human. You see, as people we are wired to start things. Whether we are starting a new diet, a new business, a new book, or whatever else it is, we love starting. It’s fun, it’s exciting, and it makes us feel important. Finishing, on the other hand, sucks. To finish something, you must endure small failures and setbacks, you must persevere even when you don’t feel motivated, and you must keep pushing through the parts that don’t feel particularly exciting or fun. But success belongs to finishers. No one became successful by starting something. They became successful by following it through to the end and finishing. When you realize this, when you truly internalize this principle, everything will change. 2. Perfectionism will Break You Nothing will wreck your goals, limit your potential, and destroy your plans more than perfectionism. Nothing. Perfectionism is merely an alibi for inaction. It’s an excuse to do nothing. Whereas the non-perfectionist says “I know that I can’t do xyz perfectly with my current resources, what can I do to move things forward anyways.” The perfectionist says “I know that I can’t do xyz perfectly so why even bother doing it at all?” When you operate from this framework, you are setting yourself up to fail. No one succeeds when they have a commitment to perfection. Because, quite simply, perfection cannot exist. There will always be something that prevents you from achieving true perfection which means there will always be something that prevents you from finishing your goals, no matter what they are. If you want to live a great life and have a lot of fun doing so, then I challenge you to eradicate the word “Perfect” from your vocabulary. Focus on getting things done and finishing. Because success belongs to the finishers. 3. Slow it Down and Cut it Back Once you have committed to being a “Finisher” and not a perfectionist, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. You have all of these goals and big dreams that you want to achieve, but they just seem so daunting and scary. Take a deep breath, relax, and realize that it’s going to be ok. Instead of stressing yourself out and killing yourself to achieve arbitrarily set goals that don’t have any real significance in your life, slow things down and cut back. Here’s what I mean. Let’s say that your goal is to lose 15 lbs. in the next month. While it’s admirable that you want to lose weight, it’s also a foolish goal. You are simply trying to do too much too quickly. Why do you need to lose so much weight in the next 30 days? What’s so significant about the next month that you are willing to starve yourself to death in order to hit an arbitrary weight goal? Instead, let’s take the finisher’s approach. Cut the goal in half and double the timeline. Now, instead of 15 lbs. in 30 days, it’s 7 lbs. in 60 days. That means you need to lose less than one pound a week! That’s doable right? Some of you reading this might think, “No! I’ve gotta push hard, I’ve gotta go crazy and lose this weight” And I get it, that’s what you’ve been conditioned to think. But let me ask you something… If this approach works, then why haven’t you lost the weight already? 4. Examine What Has Worked in the Past Whenever you set out to achieve any new goal, start by looking at what has worked in the past. For example, if you take stock of your life and realize that you have mastered your physical health but you’re struggling to get a grip on your finances, simply look at the habits and routines that helped to become physically fit and apply them to your life so that you can become financially fit. When you examine the habits that helped you become healthy, you might realize that the first step you took was to clear out your pantry of all junk food, thereby eliminating 90% of the temptation you felt. This can be applied to your finances. Call your bank and setup an automatic savings transfer that will draft out of your account every time you get paid. The next time your paycheck hits your account, you will automatically have a small portion of your income going directly to your savings account. You don’t realize it’s gone, you can’t touch the money that has been transferred, and you have no temptation to spend that money on things you don’t need. Success leaves clues. If you have achieved success anywhere in life, you can achieve it everywhere in life if you are simply willing to look at what has worked, pick out the patterns, and apply them to all areas of your life. 5. Have Fun with the Process At the end of the day, life is supposed to be fun. It isn’t supposed to be a rat race, it isn’t supposed to be a drag, it’s supposed to be fun! So start acting like it. Enjoy the goals that you set, enjoy the things that you pursue, enjoy every moment that you can because life is precious and it’s meant to be enjoyed.
Noah Kagan was #30 at Facebook, #4 at Mint.com, and is the Chief Sumo (founder) of SumoMe, a company which offers free tools to help grow website traffic. He has built 4 products that each generated 7-figures and become one of the leading marketing experts in the world Favorite Success Quote “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” “You’re not important and no one cares” Key Points 1. Just Do Things You Enjoy As far as we know, we only have one life. We only have one opportunity to live, laugh, and love. So why is it that so many of us waste our precious time doing shit that we don’t like? Why do we work jobs that we hate, stay in relationships that we don’t enjoy, and force ourselves to spend time with people who suck? It’s absolute insanity. Although there’s no “One size fits all” approach to happiness or living the good life, everything starts by doing more of the things you enjoy and less of the things that you hate. So start today. Find a way to cut out activities that you don’t enjoy and that don’t serve the bigger picture and a way to add in more activities that light you up and put a smile on your face. 2. No One Gives a Sh*t About You This sounds harsh, I know. But if you think about things objectively, you will quickly realize that it’s true. Outside of your immediate family and maybe a handful of close friends, no one cares about you, no one. People don’t care whether you succeed or not, they don’t care if you’re happy, and they don’t really care if you carry on living. Although it sounds morbid, this is actually good news. The fact that no one cares gives you permission to screw up, it gives you permission to fall on your face, to fail, to lose, and to try things that might not work because, at the end of the day, no one really gives a shit either way. So stop worrying about other people and focus on yourself. If you don’t, you will live your life trying to make everyone else happy without ever taking a second to think about your own happiness and well being. 3. Learn to be Empathetic Even though no one really cares about you, this doesn’t mean that you should go through life constantly ignoring others, acting like a narcissist, and screwing people over to achieve your goals. You must develop a certain level of empathy so that you can successfully maneuver through the world. The people that you encounter in your everyday life have their own goals, their own struggles, and their own problems. When you can learn to identify with them and consider things from their point of view, you will become a social powerhouse. 4. Define Success for Yourself One of the biggest mistakes that anyone can make in their life is striving to achieve a version of success that isn’t truly congruent with their deepest goals and desires. Noah has made millions of dollars several times over but his lifestyle is pretty modest. You won’t see him posting on Instagram about his new McLaren or bragging about his new private jet. He’s content to live in a 700 square foot flat and drive his scooter downtown in search of the city’s best tacos. Because that is his version of success. He enjoys what he does and has a simple life. For other people, however, this would be a living hell. People like Gary Vaynerchuk need to be in constant motion to enjoy their life and feel fulfilled, they need the rush of the deal and the job in order to feel successful and fulfilled. Neither path is wrong. It’s simply a matter of what works for you. So I want to challenge you to take some time to think about what success really means to you. What do you really want? What would it take for you to be happy and fulfilled? Once you have your answer, go do that thing, and ignore everyone else’s opinions and ideas. Because your definition of success is the only thing that matters. 5. Stop Complaining and Start Looking for a Solution For the next 30 days, I want you to do something. It sounds simple, but I promise it’s not as easy as you might assume. I want you to quit complaining. That’s it. For the next 30 days, I want you to consciously quit complaining about anything in your life whether it’s your job, your spouse, your kids, or just crappy weather. Stop complaining and start looking for solutions. If something bothers you, instead of bitching about it, find a way to change it. It might sound simple, but I promise that it will change your life.
Mastin Kipp is the #1 best-selling author of Daily Love: Growing into Grace and his latest book Claim Your Power and has been recognized by Oprah Winfrey on her Emmy-award winning show Super Soul Sunday as a “spiritual thinker for the next generation.” He is the founder of Functional Life Coaching (TM) and has appeared alongside Tony Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Brene Brown and others as a part of Oprah’s Super Soul 100, a collection of awakened leaders who are using their voices and talent to elevate humanity. He leads sold-out seminars and retreats all over the world, and collectively two million people in over 100 countries have been influenced by Mastin’s work. You can connect with him and learn more at mastinkipp.com. Favorite Success Quote “Unless you’re in mortal danger, fear is a compass showing you where to go.” Key Points 1. You Always Have a Choice Between What is Easy and What will Lead to Your Dreams In every person’s life, they will come to a hallway, perhaps many hallways where they will be presented with a simple choice. Will they take the first door on the left, the door that leads to ease, comfort, and safety? Or will they take the second door, the door on the right that exposes them to danger at every corner but allows them to live their lives fully and completely? When you take the first door, you make the decision to play safe to avoid doing the uncomfortable things that will drive you towards your dreams, and eventually, you become so bitter and jealous of other’s success that you begin to sabotage yourself and your goals. When you take door number two, you take a bold step into uncertainty. And it’s terrifying. But it’s also worth it. 2. What’s Really Going On? If you have found yourself stuck in a rut, unable to break free of the habits and tendencies that have kept your life where it is today, then you need to take a step back and ask yourself, “What’s really going on?” Peel back the layers of the onion and look beneath the surface. Maybe you are terrible at relationships and no matter how many beautiful women you bring into your life, they all seem to leave faster than they show up. Are you really terrible at relationships or is there something in your past, some sort of unresolved trauma or experience that is causing you to subconsciously sabotage yourself? Is there a deeper reason for the struggles that you are experiencing? A common one that I see with many men is the problem of laziness and procrastination. I know so many men who are powerful, excited and motivated about life, but when it comes time to actually go to work, they drag their feet and fail to accomplish even the most basic tasks. Are they lazy? Maybe. But I think the real problem is that their subconscious is telling them that there is an incongruence. Maybe they are working a job they aren’t passionate about, maybe they are in a business they don’t really love, or selling a product they don’t truly believe in. Whatever the case may be, you will never be able to fix your biggest problems until you understand the root of the problems themselves. What’s really going on? 3. Don’t Just Use Your Pain… Transcend It Your pain is a powerful motivating force, but it must be used for good. I see so many men who are burnt out and struggling simply because they’ve spent the past decade of their lives fueled by pain. Pain is often the spark that can start a fire in your life. But if you aren’t careful, it can also be the fire that consumes and burns your life to the ground. Therefore, we must learn to transcend our pain and trauma. Use it to ignite the fire you need to make bold moves and step forward in life and then… Let it go. Come to terms with your pain, let go of your suffering, and forgive whoever and whatever hurt you. Pain is a powerful ally. But it can be an even more powerful enemy. 4. Start with What You Have Where You Are If you are broke, struggling, and depressed, then this is one of the most powerful pieces of advice that you will ever hear. You cannot win the marathon that is life until you start running. And the only way to start running this race is to start where you are with what you have. You might be living in a 400 square foot apartment with no running water and $50,000 in debt. Great. Start where you are with what you have. You might be living a great life but you know that you can do better if you just knew how. Great. Start where you are with what you have. There is no better time to start moving towards your dreams than today. No matter what you have or don’t have. No matter what you lack or need. Start where you are with what you have. 5. Your Purpose is Based on an Emotional State and Nothing Else I often hear guys who will tell me that they are unsure of their purpose in life. But what’s funny to me is that no one seems to have agreed upon what purpose actually means. In the same way that 30 different people can all believe in “God” but they all have wildly definitions of who/what “God” is, thousands of you reading this will all have different definitions of what purpose is and how you pursue it. But here’s the thing. Purpose is extremely simple. Your purpose is nothing more than an emotional state that matters to you and your ability to express and cultivate that emotional state. Purpose is the feeling that you get when you are acting in a way that is congruent with what you want. Purpose is the emotion that you feel when you are expressing yourself at the highest level. Purpose is a fluid emotional state that can change and shift on a daily basis. So stop worrying about finding your purpose and realize that it’s your responsibility to cultivate your purpose.
Dan Millman is a former world champion athlete, university coach, martial arts instructor, and college professor. After an intensive, twenty-year spiritual quest, Dan’s teaching found its form as the Peaceful Warrior’s Way, expressed fully in his books and lectures. His work continues to evolve over time, to meet the needs of a changing world. Dan’s seventeen books, including Way of the Peaceful Warrior, have inspired and informed millions of readers in 29 languages worldwide. The feature film, “Peaceful Warrior,” starring Nick Nolte, was adapted from Dan’s first book, based upon incidents from his life. Much of Dan’s time is devoted to writing and speaking. His keynotes, seminars, and workshops span the generations to influence men and women from all walks of life, including leaders in the fields of health, psychology, education, business, politics, sports, entertainment, and the arts. Dan and his wife Joy live in Brooklyn, NY. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. You can connect with him and learn more at peacefulwarrior.com Favorite Success Quote “Success is making progress towards a meaningful goal” “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” Key Points 1. Seek Excellence Not Success One of the most common mistakes that people make in their pursuit of happiness is that they seek success instead of seeking excellence. Let me break down what this means… Most people, especially the kinds of people who listen to this podcast and read this blog, are future and goal oriented. We are laser-focused on the attainment of something, on the accomplishment of something sometime in the distant future. But what we often forget is that these accomplishments for which we are striving are made up of individual pieces. For example, no one can “Build a Business”. A business is built by doing hundreds, maybe even thousands of small things well. You don’t “Build” your dream body by doing one thing once. You build your dream body by doing thousands upon thousands of reps with perfect form. And that is where your focus should be. Yes, you must have compelling goals that push you forward and encourage you to perform at your best. But you must always remember that every worthy goal is comprised of thousands and thousands of micro-actions that you must take in the present moment. They are the product of committing to excellence in the present moment and maintaining that commitment year after year after year. Focus on doing things with excellence and success will inevitably follow. 2. The Quality of Your Moments Becomes the Quality of Your Life In the same way that many people mistakenly pursue success instead of pursuing excellence, many of us devote our lives to the pursuit of the “Good Life”. We hustle, grind, and sacrifice so that, one day, we can finally be happy and enjoy a high quality of life. We give up the things that are most important for an uncertain future that may or may not bring joy and fulfillment into our lives. And by doing this, we forget to live our lives as they are happening. We fail to realize that the “Good Life” is nothing more than a life filled with “Good Moments”. If you want a good life, you must have good years. To have good years, you must have good months, weeks, and days. And to have good days, you must have good moments. You must learn to embrace where you are right now and enjoy the moment for all that it is. Because the present moment is everything. It’s all that you have. There is no future. There is no past. There is only now. So live in the now. Cultivate those small moments of joy, happiness, and excellence. If you do this, I promise you that you will look back on your life with a smile, knowing that you lived it well. 3. Trust the Process of Your Life Unfolding This if the 400th interview that I’ve conducted on the Knowledge for Men podcast and, after almost 4 years of interviewing top achievers, thinkers, and performers, I’ve noticed an interesting pattern. Success, happiness, and fulfillment almost always exist on the other side of pain. Grant Cardone was struggling with a drug addiction, broke, and unemployed before he found his future in sales and real estate. Ryan Blair was involved in the most dangerous L.A. gangs almost sentenced to a decade of incarceration before he fell in love with entrepreneurship. Bedros Keulian was literally digging through dumpsters to find food before he created the 8-figure fitness empire that he now owns today. Yet these men trusted the process (admittedy they may have done so unconsciously). They were willing to take a leap of faith and trust the process of their life unfolding. They were able to accept that, as Steve Jobs said, “You will never connect the dots looking forward, only looking backward. So you have to somehow trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” And you must do the same. Trust the process of your life unfolding. Live in the present moment. Have faith in yourself and in the universe and realize that life is an adventure that is meant to be lived… Not avoided. 4. Anticipation is One of the Greatest Sources of Suffering One of the most sinister and seemingly innocuous sources of suffering is anticipation. Think about it like this… Imagine that there is a co-worker whom you cannot stand. The kind of person who makes your skin crawl and your stomach turn into a knot. Imagine that later today, you have a meeting and you know that this particular co-worker will be in attendance. In anticipation of the event, you imagine all of the possible outcomes in your head, forcing yourself to live in an unpleasant and mentally exhausting reality that hasn’t even happened yet! You bring yourself into a state of dissatisfaction and discomfort because you are living in future pain even though the present moment is completely tranquil! How differently could this scenario be if you simply allowed yourself to live in the moment. To know that you will have to face your peer but… Not yet. To give yourself permission to say “I am not in that situation in the present moment so I am going to live life now and cross that bridge when I get there.” 5. We Are All Just Humans At the end of the day, we are all human beings on this journey together. We have different views, beliefs, personalities, and desires, but we are all people. We all experience deep emotions, we all have dreams and desires, and we all have struggles to overcome. Even the seemingly invincible characters like Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk, or Bradd Pitt have problems. We are all humans. No one person is inherently better or worse than anyone else. We are all in this race together. So why can’t we start acting like it? Instead of judging others and blaming them for their shortcomings, seek to understand and empathize with their struggles. Instead of acting superior to your fellow man, remember the times in which you acted and behaved in unscrupulous or unsatisfactory ways. Instead of pretending that you are on this journey alone, remember that we are all in this together. Man, woman, black, white, gay, straight, republican, democrat… We are all in this together. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we will unlock our specie’s true power.
Olaniyi “Niyi” Sobomehin is a former American football fullback. He played college football at Portland State. He was signed by the New Orleans Saints as an undrafted free agent in 2008. After being cut from the NFL due to an injury, Olaniyi decided to begin coaching and from there, in addition to being a full-time firefighter, he has built a coaching company imnotyou.com to help young athletes be successful at an elite level. You can connect with him and learn more here, imnotyou.com Favorite Success Quote “People wish to be settled but only as far as they are unsettled is there any hope for them.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson Key Points 1. You Must Have a Vision Before you can achieve any goal, you must first set that goal. Before you can arrive at a destination, you must know what destination you wish to arrive at. Before you can live the life of your dreams, you must have a vision for what that life looks like. So many men today walk around aimlessly, without any real vision or purpose to their lives. Maybe they have some arbitrary goals that they set because society told them to, but they lack a visceral purpose and vision that pushes them forward in life. If you hope to live a great life, a life of meaning, a legendary life, then you must start with your vision. Who do you want to be? What do you want to achieve? How do you want to show up every day? How many lives do you want to impact? Until you know the answers to these questions, you cannot achieve the life you were born to achieve. 2. Reverse Engineer Your Vision and Treat Failures as Opportunities Once you have a vision, you have just gotten started. With your vision clearly written down, you must reverse engineer the steps that are required to achieve that vision until you have a long list of small steps that will help you achieve your goals in the coming years. Once you know what steps you need to take and when you need to take them (this will take you a long time to figure out), you must take daily massive action and learn from everything you do. You must remember that failure doesn’t mean you’re out of the game, it means you have a chance to learn. For example, if you sit down to work and have a completely unproductive day, instead of viewing this as a failure, ask yourself “What did I learn?” Maybe you learned that your phone needs to be on airplane mode throughout the workday. Maybe you learned that you need to have your days planned before you begin them. Or maybe you learned that you just need to get some extra sleep because you’re too damn exhausted to work. Whatever you learn, write it down, tweak your approach, and continually learn from the process until you achieve your goal. 3. Stay Hungry and Focus on Growth One of the biggest traps into which many men fall is the trap of success and complacency. You see, many of us start with relatively small visions that we achieve early on in life. Maybe you’ve sold your business, finally earned the 6-figure salary, or married the woman of your dreams. That’s great, but you’re not even close to finished. In fact, you’re just getting started. Life is all about expansion, it’s about growth, it’s about constantly striving to be, do, and achieve more. Instead of resting on your laurels, you must stay hungry. Even when you are enjoying the fruits of your hard work, you must set your sights on the next milestone, the next goal, and the next vision. Because if you don’t, if you settle in your current circumstances, you will eventually atrophy and die, leaving this world with so much potential left on the table. No matter how successful you are or how much success you achieve, you must remember the famous words of Steve Jobs and “Stay hungry, stay foolish”. 4. Commit Yourself to Discipline Every Single Day Most of you have probably heard our interview with Jocko Willink where he echoes his infamous statement that “Discipline Equals Freedom”. And most of you treat this statement as a convenient war cry instead of an ethos by which you live your life. Most men commit to discipline sporadically and as a result, they make great achievements and breakthroughs sporadically as well. They are disciplined when they need to be but they aren’t disciplined when they should be. And this reality is clearly reflected in their success and failures. If you want to be one of the greats, if you want to be a legend, if you want to be the kind of person who people remember, then you must be willing to discipline yourself daily. You must make a commitment to discipline every day that you wake up, you must stand strong in your values, and take massive action towards your goals even when you don’t need to. This is the only way to achieve lasting success and it’s the only way that you will leave a dent in this universe. 5. Surround Yourself with the Right People When you have created a vision, reverse engineered that vision, committed yourself to discipline, and begin learning from your failures, there is only one final step towards ultimate achievement. Your network. Who you surround yourself with is one of the single most important factors in anyone’s journey. If your five closest friends are millionaires, high achievers, and grounded men, then you will be the sixth. Conversely, if your five closest friends are slobs, party animals, and lost boys then you will become the sixth. You are the average of your five closest friends so pay careful attention to the company that you keep… It can literally make or break your success.