Jim's Podcast

Here is a quick podcast you can practically listen to on the way to the mailbox! Celebration: Celebrate things you have, you want, and what celebration does to help us all! One person's perspective. www.onewebstrategy.com

Everybody loves a story - what about YOUR story? It is true that we all identify with a person's story - or a brand's story, or something like that. We all probably know someone that has a story that inspires us, right? We also probably know someone that has a story that has lots of excuses and reasons why things aren't happening in life, right? Maybe we even have a story that isn't empowering, maybe even it is limiting? Listen to this story about your story....

Charities, giving, volunteering are important things all year around. Here is a quick podcast with some helpful hints and ideas about charities, charitable actions and gifts. No, you don't have to be rich - you don't have to even have any money. Just a decision to give a little and do something small for another person. www.onewebstrategy.com

Imagination is so very important in our world - yes even for us adults. We often forget how important it is - and how fun it can be. Yes even you engineers and technical types, your imagination - or your visions or whatever you call them - can be so powerful and let's face it, everything starts with imagination. Everything new or everything that it innovated, has been imagined by someone. Worrying is a form of negative imagination - a form of negative praying. Imagination + emotion is so powerful ...just watch to make sure the emotions and visions are good - that's what happens with worry - bad visions and bad emotions only make it worse! YOU ARE THE GATEKEEPER to your imagination....listen for more. www.onewebstrategy.com

This could be the last podcast you'll ever need to listen to.... ...this is not arrogance or blubber Listen why....

Did you ever receive a really cool or a really meaningful letter, note, or card from a friend/parent/loved one? Some kind of communication that meant a lot, encouraged you, said nice things, or otherwise was just great and meaningful? Did you ever send one? Could you send a letter, email, or communication to someone right now? What if you sent a "life letter" to yourself - what if you were the you you'll be in 5 years, and you're writing a letter to yourself today? What would you say? Listen for some cool ideas and thoughts! www.onewebstrategy.com

People ask for quick ideas that they can do everyday. Focus on what works Focus on action Give Enjoy

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!) As the holiday season approaches, I think we all need to be reminded of a few things..... Enjoy the holiday. So many of us get caught up in the shopping, preparation, decorating, work and clean up, that we forget what the holiday is about, what friends and family get together for..... en·joy [ in jóy ] find something pleasing: to take pleasure in something have use of something: to have the full and satisfying use or benefit of something benefit from circumstances: to benefit from a desirable condition or situation How many of you - or maybe it's your spouse, your mother, grandmother, etc. spend so much time in the kitchen, or doing something else that takes so much work - and sometimes you don't enjoy it. Is that what this is all about? Take time to Enjoy the holiday, your friends, your family, the season! Live in the moment. The best gift is the present. Think about all the great memories that you have. Those were created when you were "in the moment." If you were worried about the future or concerned about the past, you would have missed that great memory. So as this holiday comes, live in the moment, listen to others, ask, take action, enjoy the moments that come your way. You may be creating the best memories yet! Forgive - so many families and friends have some kind of ill feeling or hold grudges. Some actually forget why but still they hold the grudge. Forgive! We all need to remember that Forgiveness is more for ourselves than the other person. You will benefit if you forgive another. Forgive yourself! Reach out/Step out/Give/Share/Donate - I challenge you and myself to doing just a little more this year that last year. Give time to a church or organization-volunteer. Give money or donations. Can you contribute some food? Clothing? Or maybe reach out to a family member or friend. Do you know someone that could use encouragement? A listening ear? Some help? Maybe a simple letter, email , or phone call? What would you like to receive from someone - then go and give. Give without expecting you'll receive it back. Take time to do something a little more that you usually do.

From time to time I like to pass along other good websites or blogs, etc. that are really good stuff. This is from Robbins-Madanes Training (Tony Robbins and Chloe Madanes) http://robbinsmadanescoachtraining.com/?p=1464 I highly recommend that you take time to read it and watch the video(s)……. It starts here….. Have you ever been in an argument with someone where you realize, “Wow. This might be the end of our relationship!” It could be a tough conversation with a friend about hurt feelings that could end the friendship and make you enemies. It might be a business negotiation where instead becoming partners you become competitors. It could be a conversation with your spouse that could lead to a decision that you regret forever. These are dangerous minutes, right? Well, conversations like this we call “high stakes conversations.” If you win, you win it all. If you lose, you lose it all. The stakes are high. So how do you turn it around? Today let’s explore one simple strategy called the Outcome Strategy. You see, the problem with high stakes conversations is that two speakers tend to get stuck in an emotional opposition to each other. In other words: the more you take your position, the more I disagree with you and take the opposite position, and vica versa. When you get opposed to each other like this, you start reacting to me and the emotional dynamics of our conversation rather than the actual outcome you want. Instead of being proactive – and thinking creatively about what’s best for everyone, the conversation plays out as if only one of you can win this game. Now, what’s wrong with getting stuck in an opposition is that any two people having a high-stakes conversation are likely to have a lot in common: a relationship, a history, and shared objectives. When you get stuck in an opposition, you stop reacting to what’s good and only react to what you see as bad – the other person’s disagreements, opposition, disrespect. That’s what’s so dangerous – you’re likely to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The Outcome Strategy is there to stop that pattern, see past the opposition, align with each other, and find creative solutions for your outcomes. The strategy has three basic parts: 1. ASK TO UNDERSTAND. Simply tell the person, “I really want to understand you, your experience, and what you want. Please tell me what is most important to you right now.” In other words, you’re asking to understand their outcome. Most conflicts are triggered by a specific emotion -when the other person doesn’t feel you will look after their interests. When you become a great listener, this changes fast. The thing they’re upset about could be a policy decision, it could be that they want to feel respected, it could mean they sick of deadlines not being met. At bottom, what is upsetting them is the feeling that you are not willing to help them. Listen, listen, listen. Align with them so that you’re helping them get what they need. 2. ASK HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN – AND OFFER HELP. Pretty common-sense, right? When we rally for something, when we push for something to happen, we usually have a vision – an expectation, an idea, a preconception, a bias – on how it should happen or will happen. You need to understand the other person’s vision in very concrete terms. So just say, “What’s important to you is important to me, and I want you (and us) to have this outcome. How are you thinking it’s going to take place? What has to happen? What do you need? What’s the sequence of steps we need to take?” Don’t ask this in a challenging way. Instead, think of yourself as rolling up your sleeves, going side-by-side with the other person, saying, “OK, where do we start?” If you can, take notes and get the sequence of action steps to get to the outcome. Remember: if this is a high-stakes conversation, the upset was caused by the feeling that you’re not looking after your friend… so counter that by committing now to some steps and turn that around. Write your commitments down on paper. This sends a strong signal that you are cooperating and that the argument is over. Once the person understands that you are on their side and that you will help, you also have an opportunity to offer solutions that get you to the outcome more quickly. 3. RAISE THE COMMON INTENT. Now, once the person feels you understand their outcome and how they want to get it, once they feel you are no longer opposed to them, raise the intent. Here’s how this works. When we get into a high stakes argument, it usually devolves to you vs. me. Now that’s a restricted kind of “survival mode” thinking that kicks in when we get into a personal conflict. Now that you’ve aligned with the other person, share a broader intention – of helping you, helping me, of helping those around us, and helping in the long term. When you raise the common intent and widening the circle of people who will get benefits, you have the opportunity also to introduce action steps that may help more people or bring the outcome on more quickly and effectively. SOUND SIMPLE? The Outcome Strategy sounds simple because it makes a lot of sense intellectually. It’s actually a fundamental skill of problem solving that is useful in just about every high-stakes conversation you’ll encounter. So let’s take a real-world example. The day is September 11, 2001, the day of the terrorist attacks in New York. Tony Robbins had been giving a workshop in Hawaii for 2,000 people from over 30 countries, 50 of whom had just lost friends, family, or businesses in the World Trade Center attacks. The group was incredibly upset, and there had already been outbreaks of arguments and fights. Tony stepped onstage and was guiding the group through a process of emotional mastery to deal with the fact of the event… when a young Pakistani man stood up to exclaim that he felt sympathy with the terrorists. So there you have it: a high-stakes conversation. One man with a minority point of view in the group, speaking in a highly charged, raw way about something that has upset everyone, while others in the room were having to be restrained from attacking him. How does Tony deal with this intelligently? The Outcome Conversation. It’s only 15 minutes long – but it transformed everything. (there is a video at http://robbinsmadanescoachtraining.com/?p=1464 that I can’t copy here) How did the Outcome Conversation work with Asad? Let’s review. 1. Tony asked Asad to share how he feels and why, so that Tony can grasp is point of view. Understanding Asad is Tony’s path to mastering the situation. He listens non-judgmentally, thanks Asad for explaining himself, and acknowledges his point of view completely. He also says over and over: “I haven’t had your experience, so I have zero judgment. This is just my opinion. If you want to tell me I’m full of it, I’m totally OK with that, because I’m not you.” This tells Asad that he’s justified in his emotions and that he has been heard and understood. 2. Tony asks Asad “How do you expect this will happen?” In this case, how is the terrorist attack supposed to further the Muslim cause? At this point, the conversation shifted. Asad realized that his position doesn’t make sense… violence would not lead the west to understand, it would just lead to more violence in the cycle. Tony gives Asad a non-judgmental space to figure this out himself. Once Asad realizes that it doesn’t make sense, he’s open to help. 3. Tony raises Asad’s intent. Asad is thinking big – he’s thinking about the Muslim cause and the plight of Iraqis torn by the war, so Tony meets him there and raises his intent even higher: how can we impact the people Asad loves in the most effective way? By condoning violence, or by making violence unacceptable? When Asad accepts this higher intent, he also accepts the responsibilities of being a leader – of seeing how his behavior will impact hundreds and/or thousands. As a result, a conversation that could have been dangerous or disappointing ended up bringing everyone in the room to a higher level of intent, understanding, compassion, and intelligent action. Asad clarified his outcome and achieved it on that day – and as a result, he became a crusader for tolerance and greater understanding. After this conversation, Tony invited Asad onstage, along with Bernie, a Jewish man from New York who had stood up to challenge Asad. Tony guided the two through a process of Indirect Negotiation. By the end of the evening, the two men had each had breakthroughs, embraced, and started an organization for religious tolerance. Today Asad continues to work as a crusader for peace. Here is his talk at a TED conference in Karachi, Pakistan. http://youtu.be/bjoWSx5QeK8

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!) Today’s Word To Live By: Encouragement – Definition: help, support - Antonyms: denunciation, derision, deterrent, discouragement Years ago I was unemployed for the first time in my life and I struggled to find a new job. Frankly, I applied everywhere and I would have taken just about anything. The Lehman Bros. “thing” happened and I just was in a funk anyway, so it was tough. I finally did find a good job at a solid company. I had a boss that was very encouraging, very supportive. Many people on the team were also encouraging, helpful, etc. I had a tough time getting out of my own ‘funk’ and getting back the confidence and esteem that I once had. Part of the job required me to go away for training with others from around the country. I really enjoyed the whole experience and think about those people and times fondly. I recall that first day at training. We were all pushed outside of our comfort zone, which was good but hard. I knew no one. I was struggling to do well…. we all had to do a few different tasks, presentations, calls, proposals, etc. etc. “The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential. If everyone received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond the wildest dreams. We would have more than one Einstein, Edison, Schweitzer, Mother Theresa, Dr. Salk and other great minds in a century.”—Sidney Madwed Then, one of the other ‘students’ just like me, made a comment. I wish I could remember exactly what he said. I think that I was just plain shocked, I wasn’t expecting it. Anyways, he encouraged me that I did some things well, others things were good but could improve, and gave me lots of encouragement. He stated how he had struggled with the same thing and was right there with me. He didn’t gain anything by helping or encouraging me – at least none that I could see. He was just being a good guy. Others in our group seemed to continue to encourage each other. I found myself doing it more than usual. We became a cohesive group and stayed in touch for quite a long time after, which was unusual, I’m told. I think back in grade school, in high school, college, and in life. Sometimes, like the example above, I don’t remember what someone said specifically, but I definitely recall times when people offered encouragement. It may have been something small like spelling a word, hitting a ball, doing a chore. It sometimes was bigger things like a relationship, a job, a big financial challenge. I can see and feel those words of encouragement. They still warm my heart today. I think about times when I encouraged others. First, it feels good to me when I think about supporting others. Second, I frankly am a little sad that I didn’t do it more often. I know that I want to do it more in the present and future. It isn’t that hard, is it? Encouragement, support, help isn’t that hard to offer is it? Real friends are loving in an unconditional manner. They accept you for your faults, the quirky things that you do or so, and regardless of what you “do for them.” Friends offer support. Friends are a good influence. Friends offer encouragement. We need to choose our friends carefully. It doesn’t matter their income, status, style, or dress. I try to be a good friend too, but again I sometimes feel that I am lacking here. Tony Dungy, NFL coach, player, and author, said once, “Peer pressure works in both directions.” Do we encourage? Do we support? Do we set a good example? Do we provide a positive influence to others? Are we complainers? Do we point out others weaknesses or kick them while we are down? Or do we help them up and give them a gentle push when they need it? Encouraging others is about helping them focus on what they’re doing right, what’s going right in their life, and what good things they have to offer. We can encourage others by helping them see the donut and not the hole. We can be positive. Encouragement can be specific words like “you can do it.” Sometimes it might be a silent action of setting an example. Sometimes it is simply a sign of solidarity. I believe that we’re each created for a reason, that we have a purpose. It may be something big and cool like writing a bestseller, saving a life, or something spectacular. Or it may be simply giving that one person, maybe even a stranger, that little bit of encouragement one day in our life. Maybe its about that one little comment that we gave our friend, which seemed almost inconsiquential to us, that literally saved their life as they were going through their challenges. I recall a tough time when many people around me seemed to question me, put me down, and I questioned myself, I made some bad choices and I was feeling low. Then I happened to think about two little statements – one statement my father said to me once about his own struggles and basically amounted to being “if I can do it Jim, then you certainly can do it….”. Another one was from a teacher of mine….I’m sure he made the comment almost in passing and probably forgot about it soon after, but his words of encouragement have helped me keep moving on for years and I even thought about it again this morning when I had something come up. Life can be tough, it can offer challenges, right? We can lift each other up, we can tear down, or we can do neither, just passing through life without input or gusto. We all need encouragement. We need support. Humans need this sort of thing from our friends and from strangers. There are studies that show that when we encourage, support or help others, it not only helps that person’s spirit, mind and body, we the encourager benefit. Endorphins and other good things flow in our bodies and theirs – we both feel good. But wait, it’s not over yet – studies also show that observers, people who watch you and I encourage another person – also benefit – they have many of the same ‘feel good’ benefits. All three parties win. We all receive the benefit of encouragement. There is an article titled “19 Healthy Reasons to Help Others” that states “If you see someone who is drowning and throw him a rope, he gets a benefit, no question about it. But you might, too. Your body might flood with feel-good chemicals that have a deep evolutionary heritage. You might get a little extra buffer from life’s stresses. Your heart might beat a little healthier. Your immune system might perk up. Your mood might lift.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/28/health-benefits-of-volunteering-helping-others_n_909713.html#s316118&title=Helpers_Live_Longer There is a great book for children – but we all can benefit from reading it – about helping others such as I just mentioned. It is written by Carol McCloud – Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids….except it should just say “for people”. As I mentioned above, sometimes I just don’t think about encouraging others as much as I should, or as I’d like to ….. but I certainly want to ….. I’d love to provide a positive influence on others each and everyday. When was the last time you made a call, wrote a letter, said something along the lines of encouragement? Can you mentor someone? Is there even something little or anonymous that you can do? Encouraging others leaves a wonderful trail of great memories in our lives and the lives of others. Like the memories I spoke of above from loved ones and from strangers, these memories will hang around for years and for decades. Let’s create some encouraging memories, let’s create some goodwill and do unto others what we’d like done to us. “When the need for encourament words or inspirational words come, it does not matter who is saying them or why but what becomes vital is to feel encouraged, motivated and inspired to take what ever life throws as you.” No matter where you are in life or what your consequences are, you can give….and I bet when you give, you’ll receive something back too. What can you do to encourage yourself? Ask great questions – empowering questions. Think about past successes, reflect on good things in life, talk nicely to yourself. What can you do otherwise? Do you know of an encouraging book? Watch a good movie (like Rocky)? What are some encouraging songs and music that can kick start your day? What are some ways that you can encourage yourself in the morning? In the car? What people in your life encourage you? Did you thank them? Can you return the favor? Can you emulate them to help others? How can you build habits around encouragement? Can you challenge someone? Can you mentor? can you just lend support? I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk. - Tony Robbins BELOW ARE TWO “HOW TO” ARTICLES ABOUT ENCOURAGEMENT. ENJOY! The Below is An Article from Livestrong.com How to Encourage Someone Jan 23, 2010 | By Jae IrelandJae Ireland specializes in keyword research and internet marketing. Getting her start with a small internet marketing firm in 2005, she has since designed and written for well over twenty commercial and informational websites. Her areas of interest and expertise include fashion, parenting, home improvement and health and fitness. Whether it’s a friend, family member or coworker, encouraging someone can help spur them to be better versions of themselves. It may be for a better life, a promotion or to help them through a debilitating illness, but you have the power to keep the future bright and keep your friend working toward her goal. While you may think encouragement is only about kind words, true encouragement requires tough questions, honesty and support for someone who is trying to accomplish a goal. Step 1 Be honest about the process, says InsiderReport.com’s Michael Angier. Encouragement doesn’t have to be about false positive notions. If the progress isn’t happening as fast as your friend would like, be honest and let him know that he’s right, but he has better control of the situation when taking it slow and steady. Telling the truth can help give another opinion on how to accomplish the task at hand. Why Men Pull Away 10 Ugly Mistakes Women Make That Ruins Any Chances Of A Relationship CatchHimAndKeepHim.com Sponsored Links Step 2 Find the positive in every experience. Your friend may feel discouraged because of a recent failure, but point out what she’s learned from the failure and how she can use it to her advantage. Encourage her to learn from her mistakes and become better for them. Step 3 Ask intelligent questions about the progress of the goal. You may have a friend who is depressed about an illness, so you can ask questions about the prognosis so that you know how to encourage, whether it’s for a cure or for living a full life while he can. Asking questions about a project for work or school can help your friend see places where he needs to improve for a better project overall. Step 4 Look for positive progress along the way, even if it isn’t exactly the progress your friend was originally looking for. Any small success should be celebrated to encourage your friend to keep moving forward. Be your friend’s biggest supporter when it comes to accomplishment, cheering her on until she accomplishes her goal. Step 5 Send notes of encouragement to stay in touch and keep your friend motivated. ThinkOfProsperty.com recommends that you send a card or a letter to offer your encouragement, send an email or drop by with words of encouragement and a hug to keep the progress moving and to show your lasting support. Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/75762-encourage-someone/#ixzz26xV44TB3 —– THE BELOW IS FROM http://powertochange.com 19 Ways to Encourage Others Written by Stacy Wiebe Learn how to develop an encouraging heart 1.Encouragement goes straight to the heart.In fact, the word itself comes from a combination of the prefix “en” which means “to put into” and the Latin word “cor” which means heart. ◦Knowing what a big difference encouragement makes in your own life, what can you do to help others “to take heart” when the going gets tough and way feels long? 2.Become aware of what encourages you, and do those same things for others. 3.Learn individuals’ “love language”-the special way in which they feel most valued. In his book, The Five Languages of Love, Gary Chapman explains that not everyone’s emotional needs are met in the same way, and that it’s important to learn to speak others’ love language. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, spending quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. 4.If an encouraging thought comes to mind, share it! It may not have the same effect if you wait. Don’t let shyness hold you back. Instead, form a new habit: “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today…” (Hebrews 3:13). 5.When you introduce someone, add a few words of praise for the person’s abilities, accomplishments, about how they’ve helped you or about the nature of your relationship. It’s encouraging to be praised in front of others.* 6.When someone is discouraged or hurting, offer specific, practical help. If you ask, “How can I help?” the person might be at a loss to answer. It’s better to ask, “Would it help if I…(specific action) or say, “I would like to…(specific action)?* 7.Remind fellow Christians of the specific promises of God and characteristics of God. We may know something with our mind, but need to be reminded in our heart. The Apostle Peter wrote, “I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have” (2 Peter 1:12). 8.Write someone a note to tell them that you’re praying for them. Tell them what you’re praying. You can pray specific Scriptures for individuals such as Romans 15:13, “[I pray that] the God of hope [will] fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” 9.Make celebration a more regular part of your relationships. Celebrate others’ victories, large and small-with a note, with coffee together, with a special meal, a congratulatory phone call or just a high-five! 10.Be specific when you offer words of praise; it makes your encouragement more credible and concrete “You did a great job at…” “I really appreciate that you…” “I was really impressed that you…” 11.Encourage other believers with a reminder of Christ’s coming. It redirects our thinking to an eternal perspective and ultimate deliverance from the sin and death. “We who are still alive and are left will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words” (1 Thessalonians 5:17b-18). 12.Realize the power of presence. Just being there is encouraging! When you’re with others, you’re telling them that they’re important. The Apostle Paul closed his letter to the church at Colosse promising to send his friend Tychius “that he may encourage your hearts” (Colossians 4:8b). 13.If you’re part of a church, Bible study or fellowship, be committed to showing up. Your simple presence encourages others that they are part of a community of faith and that they are not alone. That’s why the writer of Hebrews says, “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another-and all the more as we see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:25). 14.If someone you know is working on a large project, send her a single flower to encourage her at the beginning of the project, and a full bouquet when it’s done.* 15.Use encouragement as an outreach. If anyone should be known for being an encourager, it should be the Christian. Write a letter of appreciation to people at work, your apartment manager, your child’s teacher or your doctor. Often when we interact with these people, we are asking for their services. Take time just to say thank you!* 16.If you really want to encourage someone who gives you excellent service, write a letter of commendation to the person’s boss.* 17.We could learn something from the way team athletes freely pat, touch and high-five each other in competition. Touch is a powerful encouragement. Be sure to be sensitive in this area, though. Ask someone if you can hug her first. And be careful to be above reproach with persons of the opposite sex. 18.When you see someone making positive changes in their lives, affirm them. “You seem to have a really great attitude about…” “It may be that I’m just starting to take notice, but I see that you’re…” “Do you think that you are becoming more…?” 19.Tell people how they’ve encouraged you! 20.more at http://powertochange.com/experience/life/encourage/

(This is one of a part of a series of WORDS TO LIVE BY. This series grew out of a workbook I first made for my young daughters and discussed at the dinner table. These Words include values, good ideas, and Words to aspire to….and learn from….enjoy!) From wikipedia: Laughing is a reaction to certain stimuli. It may ensue from hearing a joke, being tickled, or other stimuli. Most commonly, it is considered a visual expression of a number of positive emotional states, such as joy, mirth, happiness, relief, etc. I picked Laughter as a Word to Live By because, well, we gotta laugh about "it." Think about the best days in your life so far. Was laughter involved? Probably. I think about times with my parents - I often think about laughing at the dinner table - joking and ribbing each other. My mother and I are both Tauruses and she often said we were both stubborn and we'd 'disagree in a fun way'. I'd kid with her and my dad would laugh knowing that only I could get away with it. "Laughter is America's most important export. " Walt Disney I think about joking with my sisters and the typical brother/sister teasing and jokes. I recall laughing with them when I was young - we'd wrestle and I'd try to play tricks on them or tease them as their little brother. I love to watch the outtakes from movies - you know when they show how the actors mess up, bloopers , and the whole crew breaks into spontaneous laughter? I haven't watched the movie for over 20 years but I can still laugh when I think about the outtakes from Smokey and the Bandit for Dom Deluise and Burt Reynolds. (I think that they may be much better than the actual movie!) I love to watch bloopers and those 'funniest home video' type of shows where we can all laugh at the happenings of others. I think about good times in school, high school and college. I really enjoyed a practical joke, although harmless ones, on friends. I remember "setting a locker" of a friend so that when he opened it, a bunch of pop cans fell out, making a large noise and having the whole hallway of high school kids erupt in laughter. I'd sometimes "set lockers" of high school girls with a silly stuffed animal so that they'd scream loudly when they opened it, only to find a cute little stuffed toy. I still laugh now about that stuff and have difficulty stopping. In college, armed with a big roll of shrink wrap, I would wrap someone's dorm room in the clear plastic; TV, pillows, mattress, etc. I'd laugh the whole time and for days after. One guy came in and saw what I'd done and didn't remove it from his mattress for a few days, sleeping in the plastic. When I was and still am with my close friends, it is about laughter. When I started dating my wife, and for years since, we laughed a lot. (I know that I really have her going when I can't hear her - she is a silent laugher.) I recall times when we'd laugh so much our faces and stomachs hurt. We laughed at dumb things we've done, laugh about movies, laugh about life. "Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play also adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times." from the article Laughter is the Best Medicine http://www.helpguide.org/life/humor_laughter_health.htm Some of the most enjoyable laughter is from my daughters. When they were young, they laughed at my dad's jokes and tricks. They'd laugh when we'd wrestle. They'd laugh a silly things and things we adults don't think about enough. There is nothing like the unabridged version of a child laughing hard at something - full out. I recall their laughter as I tickled them. We still laugh together as a family often, now my girls are better able to 'dish it out' as much as they can take a joke. We have a quote in my girls' bathroom, something to the effect that a smile is all the makeup that anyone needs. There is nothing better than the laughter that comes deep from your gut, that comes rolling out of your mouth, that laughter that makes you bend over in joy, that makes you laugh until you cry. Like anyone, we've encountered tough financial times, personal losses, and other challenges in life. Laughter makes it so much easier. Laughter releases that pressure and tension. "Laughter is an instant vacation." - Milton Berle I can think of moments that were some of the best, yet worst moments of my life. Perhaps I was sad or depressed or somehow down about something, the tension was tight, and then suddenly, one of us said or did something and we broke into laughter about something and the problem seemed at least a little easier to deal with.....I think we all NEED to laugh often in life. Hearing laughter brings laughter- it is contagious. Here is a site, one of many, with free audio sound bites of laughter. Laugh it up - http://soundbible.com/tags-laughter.html I found a few great resources about laughter. One offers a list of the many benefits of laughter: Physical Health Benefits: Boosts immunity Lowers stress hormones Decreases pain Relaxes your muscles Prevents heart disease Mental Health Benefits: Adds joy and zest to life Eases anxiety and fear Relieves stress Improves mood Enhances resilience Social Benefits: Strengthens relationships Attracts others to us Enhances teamwork Helps defuse conflict Promotes group bonding Laughter makes you feel good. And the good feeling that you get when you laugh remains with you even after the laughter subsides. Humor helps you keep a positive, optimistic outlook through difficult situations, disappointments, and loss. Source: http://www.helpguide.org Let's face it, laughing helps us in many ways....it washes away 'bad' emotions, gives us a fresh perspective on a situation, helps us loosen up in a hurry, and it helps us recover from something. "It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either. " Wayne Dyer Want to laugh more? Get a pet… Most of us have experienced the laughter of having a pet, playing with it, watching it grow as a puppy, and pets are a rewarding way to bring more laughter into your home. Simply having a pet is good for your mental and physical health. There are many 'pet therapy' related studies show that pets can protect you depression, stress, and even heart disease. Ideas for laughing more: Make a list of things for which you are grateful for, and what's funny. You need to actually make a physical list, take the time and write it. List good things, funny things. Smile more - it takes less muscles to smile than frown. Studies show that even fake smiles make you feel better over time. Smiling grows to others. Smiling leads to laughing. Spend time with people who laugh - avoid negative people and negative discussions. Do the people you spend time with make you feel upbeat or negative? Ask better questions - ask "what is funny about this situation?" "How can I make someone laugh about this?" "What am I happy about?" or "What makes me laugh?" Look for humor in more situations. Laugh at yourself. Keep things in perspective. Act like a child - at least observe how they can be uninhibited, how they enjoy the moment, how they laugh without pretense. go to your favorite search engine and type in 'bloopers' We need to laugh more and seek stress reducing humor in our everyday lives. Laughter is the human gift for coping and for survival. Laughter ringing, laughter pealing, laughter roaring, laughter bubbling. Chuckling. Giggling. Snickering. Snorting. These are the sounds of soul saving laughter which springs from our emotional core and helps us feel better, see things more clearly, and creatively weigh and use our options. Laughter helps us roll with the punches that inevitably come our way. The power of laughter is unleashed every time we laugh. In today's stressful world, we need to laugh much more. Laughter Therapist, Enda Junkins, We are a serious nation with serious people who have serious health problems, many of which are related to stress. Laughter relieves stress. Through laughter we cope with our fear and anger, the two emotions which result in stress. It allows us to be creative and to work harder but more comfortably. It decreases isolation. Laughter allows us to bond with other people and ease our loneliness. It's contagious. Laughter creates laughter. Allowing laughter to swell into a movement across the land would reduce our growing anger and violence. It's universal. Everybody can laugh. Human beings are born with the gift of laughter. A sense of humor is not necessary to laugh. It reduces aggression and conflict. People laughing are unable to hold each other at sword point. Some how there is no longer a point, only acceptable differences. (the above list is from http://laughtertherapy.com) There is so much information on the benefits of laughter. We all need to loosen up a bit and have a little more fun. We can all laugh a little more at ourselves. We can gain from laughing in the moment with a friend. Laughter enriches our lives. ..plus it's pretty darn funny. Here's a list of the "Top 10 Films with the highest 'laugh a minute' scores: http://www.skynews.com.au/showbiz/article.aspx?id=793160 Here's a parting wish to you to have joy and laughter throughout your days, to find laughter in the moments of your life, and to laugh and love with those you care about.... A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin

From Deepak Chopra “The universe operates through dynamic exchange… giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.” This quote is from Chopra’s book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”. I recommend it. Nothing is static in our lives, right? Our bodies, minds, families, friends, etc. Even though which seem static are not- the mountains and the earth. There is an exchange or giving and taking, back and forth, right? So is it with energy too, correct? Life is the flow of things in a harmonious manner. Generally our bodies, nature, seeks balance. In the book Chopra talks about the work “affluence”. He says it comes from the word affluere….which means “to flow to”. The word affluence means “to flow in abundance.” We use money as a representation of something – energy, product, service, etc.Interestingly enough Chopra also points out that the word currency comes from the Latin word “currere”. which means “to run” or to flow. So, at least in reference to money, if we stop the circulation of money (or anything else) and if we intend on holding onto the money or to hoard it, then the energy will stop its circulation back into our lives. “Like a river,” says Chopra, “money must keep flowing, otherwise it begins to stagnate, to clog, to suffocate and strangle its very own life force. Circulation keeps it alive and vital.” Any healthy relationship, service, existence is a give and take, right? There is balance in all things. A tiny mustard seed can grow into something large. A kernel of corn can produce many more….yet we can’t hoard the seeds. The more you give, the more you receive, says Chopra…..because you will keep the abundance of the universe circulating in your life. Chopra also points out that the ‘intention behind your giving and receiving is the most important thing.’ OK – I read this a few times. I actually read this when I was very tight financially. I owed a few credit cards, was behind on things, and I was hoarding money so I could buy gas one week. I was not clear how I could practice this law. Chopra gave some good examples though - “If you want joy, give joy to others; if you want love, give and learn to love. If you want material affluence, help others to become materially affluent. In fact the easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.” So when we wait in the line at the grocery store and see that weird looking person, or that person taking too long, or anyone…..why not give them a blessing – the same blessing or prayer that perhaps we’d desire. A simple prayer or wish. We can stand there and stare at the person who is being a pain, taking too long, letting their kids touch all the things on the shelf, etc. We can grumble to ourselves and pass judgement. We can stand there and wallow in our own particular problem or issue. Or we can send a prayer, a wish for peace, a wish for abundance their way. How would that change your world? Chopra talks that we are all localized bundles of energy and information – and consciousness. We are bundles of though in a thinking universe…and thought has the power to transform. So what can you do today? I’d suggest that we start and make a decision that anytime you come into contact with anyone, give them ‘something’. Maybe nothing material – maybe a prayer, wish, compliment, smile, etc. Chopra points out that things like caring, attention, affection, appreciation are some of the most powerful and precious gifts that we can offer. I know that I have,….and still do… say something to myself like “How can I give to others when I don’t have enough myself right now?” Write a note, make them laugh, share a good story, ask – really ask – about them and their dreams. The more you give, the easier it is. The more you’ll get a hang for it and the more confidence you’ll have. There is no scarcity on love, joy, happiness, or abundance. By its very nature, the word abundance means overflowing – we can’t run out. We have an overabundance of so many things in our lives that we can all give. Giving flips a switch whereby we’re not tense, closed, and concerned but open, warm, and inviting. Giving makes us feel more confident than when we hold back or hoard. If you seek peace, give it. If you seek help, offer it. If you seek friendship, be a friend. Giving sends our minds and hearts a signal that things are ok, things will be OK. In closing, I am reminded by a child’s book that I used to read to my daughters, “Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids ” by Carol McCloud. If you have a child, buy it. If not, you should still read it the next time you’re at the library or B&N. If you “fill someone’s bucket” you fill your own bucket, and everyone observing you gets their buckets filled. There are actually studies that show our endorphins improve when we help another person – and observes get a nice splash of endorphins too. I leave by giving you a blessing for peace and prosperity. www.onewebstrategy.com

A quick break from the Words to Live By to talk about Questions of Power. First, let me recognize Tony Robbins as really first bringing it to mind for me. There is another blogger out there that offers some coaching and some books under the title “Afformations” that also helped keep the power of questions in mind. His name is Noah St. John. I give them both credit and Kudos. I am often guilty, as we all are, of asking myself questions that are not empowering. In fact they are often downright destructive. If you’ve read my other blogs and posts you’ve learned that, probably like you, I’ve had some really tough spots. I mentioned the year 2009 was pretty tough for me. I lost several loved ones that year, lost my job, and had a tough time financially, personally. Things actually started going quite bad for me financially in 2008. An investment property took longer to get ready, because I wanted to do it all on my own. I missed a window of opportunity, and it sat vacant for 15 months. Ouch. I started asking, “can it get any worse?” I sold it for a big loss. Investment property #2 rented quickly and looked OK for a while, but then many, many things went wrong. I often asked “how can it get worse?” Guess what? I found out. 2009 came, I lost too many people that I cared about. I lost my income. I lost some of my confidence and pride. I asked again “what else can go wrong?” Well, I’m not going to go on and on about what else did go wrong today, but things definitely did. It seemed that I was practicing the Law of Unattraction. I’d fix one thing, another would come up. I’d get $1500 coming in and I’d have to spend $1600. I was asking things like “Why Me?” “Why am I so unlucky?” “Why can’t I find a job?” “why do I feel so bad?”….you get the idea. I hate to even list the questions now. There were more. I wish that I could say that I changed my questions one week and it all turned around overnight. Instead I can tell you that little by little I started asking better questions. I read some things here and there and it gained momentum in my cranium. I started asking myself things like “What am I excited about…. What am I grateful for….What do I enjoy…..What am I happy about…. And then I started even using things …what Could I be happy about, etc.” I had index cards and recordings of questions like “Why am I so happy?” “How am I paying off my debt so quickly?” I even was asking myself questions like “How can I find a job that pays over $XX,000 that is fulfilling and that I enjoy?” I began to get specific on some subjects. I can’t say that when I asked about a better paying job that I got a call the next week. But I eventually found something and even if I had not, it kept my mind on the right thing and I felt better – I was searching for what was working and what might work in my life, rather than what didn’t. In Pscyho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz MD, they say that the mind is like a computer. Ask a question and the mind will try to answer it – especially if you ask it over and over. If you ask – even in a kidding, joking manner – “how could I be so dumb?” Eventually, if not immediately, the mind will search for answers and will find them, at least on an unconscious level. It’s about focus. You’ve heard about a self-fulfilling prophecy, right? Why not throw some better questions into your life. “What can I learn from this?” “Is there a way that I can make money from this situation?” “Is there a way that I can be healthier?” Or maybe switch some of those old, bad questions around to something like “how can things get any better?” ---notice that it acts as a pattern interrupt. It stops you and ends the bad thought for a moment. Then, actually take a moment and try to answer the question. How can things get better? First start off with some realistic things: I could find a quarter on the sidewalk, a $10 in my old jacket, I could be on-time, etc. Then throw in some cool things: I could accidentally run into a talent scout looking for my style, I could get a great idea to improve something on the way home, I could win money, I could find gold/jewelry/Babe Ruth’s rookie card, I could run into a billionaire who wants to pay me to help others. Why not ask crazy good things? If nothing else, this exercise re-focuses you and now you’re thinking big time cool stuff right? I also read somewhere that an author asks himself “Wouldn’t it be cool if…..” then go crazy. That’s a lot better than saying, “why don’t I ever win things?” (or whatever). Instead of “why is my boss a jerk?” or “I don’t like my boss.” Ask “How can I work better with my boss?” or “How can I find a job that I enjoy and that brings fulfillment?” Can you create some questions for work? The family? Your health? Your dreams? Try to be aware of your daily questions. Then stop the bad questions and create questions of power that get your thinking of opportunities, of possibilities, of good emotions, good situations, and good times. (Remember, like anything else, you must also take action.) I’d like to ask you (really try to answer it), “What possibility excites you right now? Why? What can you do to move a step closer? My best…..

So did you ever have one of those situations when you thought things were bad and then they kept getting worse? I had a year (2009) when I was unemployed (after the banking crisis) and had a tough time finding a new job. My wife's dear grandmother passed, then my dad passed away a few months later. That hurt big time. We took care of my mom, got her surgery, then found out she had cancer. She passed away just 5 weeks after my dad. That was tough. My wife's uncle and other grandmother passed away later that year. The job situation wasn't great. I didn't understand or fathom how things could get that bad. I felt like I couldn't heal. But I did. I was able to land a nice job later, made connections with friends and new people. I connected myself to other good people out there. I find that almost everyone out there wants to help and work with a nice person. Another time had to do with a situation I mentioned in other blogs. I was working for a small employer and it just wasn't working on so many levels. I had to move on. I was told by many that my resume looked bad because I didn't stay at each job long enough. A few employers told me I was skipped over because I had too much experience and they wanted to hire someone 'cheaper'. Of course other positions required more experience. Then, I found a job that really wanted me and I wanted them but my credit report lost the job for me. It was my responsibility - I had an investment property that went south and I let some payments go late and was late on others until I finally sold it. But this stuff was still on the credit report and kept me from getting hired at several jobs.I needed to make a certain level of income so any old job would not do. I was ready and willing to do basically anything. So I was concerned that my employer would fire me, cut my income, and plus I was unhappy. I was concerned 'what if I lost my job tomorrow'. I had no reserves. As I stated in earlier blogs, I was a nervous wreck. I'm not a nervous person. Some days I woke up and wanted to throw up. I wanted to give up. But like you, I didn't. I focused on better things. I focused on good things I had - basically being grateful for them. I focused on what worked rather than what didn't work. I focused on my opportunities and other possible opportunities. I focused on other unlikely possibilities which helped me open my mind and brainstorm. I focused on taking action and sending resumes, connecting with others, etc. I focused on the great circle of friends and family I had and the great wife and two daughters. I focused on answering the question; "how can things get any better?". I had a list of Tony Robbins' 'Power Questions' that helped me get started in the morning and adjust when I was in a bad state of mind. More than anything, I think focusing on what I wanted helped. Many of us focus on what we don't want. We say "I don't like this situation/this action/this person." Guess what, we still focus on it. Instead we need to say "I want and invite this situation/person/action/outcome." Then we work to make a plan and take action. We've all heard how our brains work on that which we focus- so give your brain the good stuff. Focus on what you want. (My advice is keep it more general and open so you keep open the possibilities. In other words if you say I want this specific job at $xx,0000 in this city - maybe its too specific? What if there is something so much better out there - and there is. Maybe ask "I want a job where I am happy, fulfilled, and I make a fabulous income well over $xx,000" - then think from the end and pretend it has already happened!) Things got better. Even when there were hiccups, I didn't feel the negativity as much if at all because I was looking at the good stuff. I improved my health, my marriage improved, I stabilized my income, I was happier. I found a role/job for me that I really enjoyed, I was contributing (important to me) and I was fulfilled. I was able to make a nice income. Again, I saw a Mike Dooley posting from tut.com and I again wanted to share it - it relates to the above. Here's to focusing on fun, happiness, abundance, love and good health. From a Mike Dooley posting from tut.com I have to admit, when we thought of adding the dimension of "time" to space, it was not wildly popular. True, it would make possible evolution, reunions, and cute before-and-after photos. But it would add to the illusion of separation... "horror of horrors!" Spontaneous manifestations would spontaneously cease... "eee-gad!" And the only way anyone could get anything done, would be if they held onto and moved with their vision in thought, word, and deed, even when present circumstances appeared ABSOLUTELY unchanged for their efforts... yeah, "SIGN ME UP!!!!" Thinking of you beaming with childlike joy -The Universe. www.onewebstrategy.com

The second in the series Words to Live By. Today’s Word to Live By: Faith In my first Words to Live By post I talked about Accepting where I was and even though I wanted to change it, I was better off accepting it and going with the flow rather than fighting it. It wasn’t about surrendering or giving up. InJapan, they actually have ‘accept’ as part of their thinking – inItalythere is a saying “there it is” or “there you have it”. Today I want to talk about faith. Faith can obviously be about you, your God, the Universe, and in others. My situation was faith in me and in God. For you atheists and agnostics, don't worry, this still applies to you - faith in you and your neighbor. In my first post I talked about how I was working for an employer that represented things one way at the beginning and things were much different shortly after I started. There were issues around payment to me, changes in strategy and he got hostile for all sorts of reasons. I thought life was miserable. I wanted to move on as soon as I could with a new job. The economy wasn’t great, I didn’t have any real capital or reserves, and I was having trouble getting an interview. Some people told me I had too much experience, that they typically hire graduates right out of college. Other jobs had requirements that I didn’t have, so I was underqualified.I did get a few offers but the pay rate was very low and it wouldn’t sustain my family. I got upset each morning. My stomach was often sick. I think I had an ulcer. I had very little motivation. I spent lots of time thinking what would happen if I lost my job, all sort of things. I got panicked. As I said in the previous post, I then accepted the situation. I still sent out resumes, I connected with old colleagues and friends and I networked with new ones. I took action in typical ways and I tried to think of new ways to market myself. It wasn’t easy but I had to let go. I had to have faith in my actions, in myself, in others, and in God/the Universe/The Source, or whatever you call it. My wife reminded me that ‘it will work out’ and that I had options. I remember reading something that said ‘it is already working out’. Many things in life happen on a timeline that is different from what we want. I had to send the resumes, make the calls, reach out AND still work in my current job. By focusing on things that were positive, things that I was grateful for, and things that I could actually change, I felt better. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t just go about it with casual regard. I had lists and a plan. I did my thing but then I had to let go. I kept reminding myself that the new opportunity will probably be something that I can’t imagine how or what it is. Author Mike Dooley says that these are the ‘cursed how’s’ – in other words focusing on the how it often not a good thing. Focus on the why, focus on the end result that you want (the big picture), take action and then have faith that you’ll get there. Dr. Wayne Dyer says we are connected to the Source. He says that when we are inspired, great things can happen. We need to let go and let God. Dyer talks about how our ego isn’t comfortable with this sort of thing, nor is our logic. I’m a big logic guy and while that helps in some cases, not when you need to have faith. Our egos say ‘I’m the one that will make it happen, its all about me’. While it may be true that we’re connected to it all and that we are brilliant beings, it is about much more than just ‘me’. The ego wants the credit. The logic wants the step by step plan. The fears in us want the certain and stability and security. Faith is about a trust in ourselves. We can help this faith by looking back at positive references in our life. “I’ve been a great manager and had these challenges before and I can do things bigger than my current challenge” or whatever your situation is – you’ve probably faced something like it, or bigger, before – probably a few times – and you succeeded. Faith is about trusting that the world is out to bring you good things – it is conspiring to help you. It is about having faith in your fellow human being. Yes, we all get slapped but generally life brings good. Think about someone you know who is confident, has certainty, someone who has faith in themselves or faith in their life. They’re confident right? They are generally positive and probably better to be around than the person who is negative and doesn’t have faith. Faith brought me good things. It wasn’t overnight but a better opportunity, a surprise, came to me. I also know that my quality of life was better once I embraced faith. Faith did bring me more happiness and more money, I am closer to abundance because of faith. Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King, Jr. I have faith that you will find this and read this at the right time in your life. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Good luck. www.onewebstrategy.com

Hello all. I appreciate some of the comments, regardless what you think about my stuff. Feedback is good. Memorial Day...we rememember those who fought for us and took care of us. Those on the battle field, on the seas, in the air, giving their lives. Those in the kitchen and behind the desks or on the shovels and hammers, giving their hearts. This weekend I've been so lucky to be at a few good friends' houses and just to be there as myself. I golfed with a great buddy. We met new friends. Friends mean so much and I'm very grateful for our friends. I've had some challenges recently with work and been preoccupied but my encounters with my friends this weekend have reminded me what it is to let go, have faith, enjoy life. Some of them inspired me to do things on my own and do my own thing. They all reminded me how nice it is to be giving and hospitable. I am so lucky and grateful for all of my close friends and the new ones. I think without some of the friends and without their hospitality this weekend I think I might have had a tough weekend. I was able to relax, have fun, have a few drinks and enjoy things, thanks Thanks to those new 'friends' reading this, maybe we can be friends someday. Let's remember all those loved ones in our lives that made it possible. Thanks www.onewebstrategy.com

I'm on a list from earlytorise.com and I often like their postings/messages. Good stuff from Early to Rise's Craig Ballantyne !! This is an example right from Early To Rise's email - a great message and one that at least I identify with, I hope it helps you too. The bottom of the message is from another contributor and website called JasonLeister.com FROM earlytorise.com - May 17, 2012.......... "Get Started Early I was lucky. Early in my teenage years I knew what I wanted my life to look like, and I went about designing it from that day. If you didn't get started early on lifestyle design, the best you can do is start now. Today, Jason Leister shows you how. Craig Ballantyne You can't change your genetics, but you can change your attitude, your persistence, your environment, the people you listen to and hang around with, and the things you do. You can change, so if you want to, just get started. Lifestyle Design With Six Kids By Jason Leister When I first read Tim Ferriss' book, The 4-Hour Workweek, I was pretty sucked in. Who wouldn't want to work for only 4 hours a week? As it turns out, I wouldn't. I derive a lot of meaning and pleasure from working hard. For me, creating something and sharing it with others makes me feel good. It is what I like to do. But that's just me. And that's the point. Designing your life means designing your life. Comments, questions and criticisms from others, while helpful, are largely irrelevant. The only thing that matters is how you want your life to go. First, Step Inside Your Own Faraday Cage In 1836, an English scientist, Michael Faraday, designed a unique device able to shield its contents from electromagnetic radiation. The device was aptly named, a Faraday Cage. Objects inside the cage were effectively cut-off from outside energetic interference, which proved very helpful in certain experiments. If designing your life is an important priority for you, then the first step is to make sure that your goals, priorities and ideals for that life are in fact yours. I started out life playing defense. That means I spent most of my time living up to other's expectations of me. Living like that doesn't leave a lot of room for "lifestyle design" because frankly, you outsource that function to someone else... to everyone else actually. Given my history, one of my (many) weaknesses is that I sometimes fall back into "dealing with what life dishes me" instead of actively creating my future. This is irresponsible. I know that sounds weak, but it's the truth. I reveal things like this in public forums because it provides instant accountability for me. By telling a few hundred thousand people, I'm inspired to become a better version of myself. Weird, but it works for me. If you're going to go to the trouble of designing your life the way you want it, then make sure you are clear about what you actually want. This means cutting yourself off from the influence of what others might think about your decisions. You have squash your need to "keep up with the Joneses" or anyone else, for that matter. Why? Well, the biggest reason is that there's a good chance... The Joneses Are Idiots The average person just isn't interested in living life at the level of excellence you probably are. So to look to them for anything (except for a good reminder of what not to do) is not helpful. And so we go in search of people who do exhibit various levels of mastery in their lives. And that's when things can get even worse. It's easy to look around at the lives of others and just accept that what they want for their life has anything to do with what you should want for yours. It's easy to be enamored by someone's dedication to an ideal and think that you should exhibit that kind of dedication. It's easy to be impressed by the material wealth of someone and think you should have that too. This is living life from the outside in, if you ask me. And I think that is a mistake. How to Stand as a Giant Among Men I'm of the firm belief that the only really responsible way to live life is to have the guts to live it exactly as you want. Don't want to make a million dollars? That's your choice. Don't want to work 80 hours a week to be "successful?" Again, it's up to you. Want to wake up and spend 6 hours a day playing with your children while they're young enough to still want to be seen with you? Go ahead. To the average person, living your life with such blatant "disregard" for others might be interpreted as an extreme example of selfishness. But to the average person, talking about the weather and what they had for dinner last night is interesting. To me, having the guts and the clarity to live life as you see fit makes you a giant among men... or among women as the case may be. The point is that your unique value as a human being deserves a unique expression in the world. And to do that, you need to live with a blatant disregard for the thoughts and opinions of others if you're going to be a good steward of your gifts. Are There Limits to This Lifestyle Design Thing? As I sit here writing this, my five children (with a sixth expected any day) are milling around my house. One just woke up, another is pushing a stroller, and still another is outside watching the guy pulling weeds on our property. This is how I want to live my life. I sit here and think, write and sell things. As the years go by, my vision for exactly how that's supposed to look for me improves. My clarity improves. My focus improves too. On certain days, the fact that some people think I'm nuts gets to me. But on my best days, I simply don't care. The hardest thing about "lifestyle design" isn't actually the doing of it. It's the pre-work that comes before the doing that can be challenging. To get the right design for you, you have to be honest with yourself and respect yourself. What you want is valid. Period. Understand that your decisions are your decisions. Understand that your path is your path. And know that your purpose is to spend your days walking that path as you see fit, no matter where it takes you. That, to me, is a life well lived. [Ed. Note: Jason Leister is an internet entrepreneur, direct response copywriter and editor of “The Client Letter,“ the daily e-letter from ClientsSuck.net, where he helps independent professionals create success. You can contact him via his website at JasonLeister.com.]

Hey, I gotta sometimes give props to people with good ideas. Anyone in internet marketing has probably heard of Frank Kern. I was on his site, www.frankkern.com and saw this blog....cool stuff. Read it! (the below is from frankkern.com......... ) My Challenge To You 1. Don’t buy any advice this month. Go back and re-read whatever you’ve bought in the past. It’s still good. 2. Turn off the damn computer and write down all the good stuff you learn. On a legal pad. (OLD SCHOOL!). 3. Review those notes and write down every possible action you could take to start making money immediately. Do whatever actions jump out at you. Don’t over think this. Just do it. Life is short. 4. Write a new offer for your products. You’ve probably bought a ton of stuff on writing offers and copy …so dig it out of the closet and put it to use. Nothing happens until something gets sold. So start selling (and quit buying). 5. Take the money you would have spent on whatever new marketing product you were thinking about buying this month (but didn’t) and use that money to drive traffic to your offer. That’s right! Invest in business instead of buying more stuff about business. Revolutionary concept! 6. Measure the results of your activity (note the word ACTIVITY!) and tweak accordingly. 7. Repeat 1-6. Oh – and if you’ve ever looked for a magic formula, that’s pretty much it. www.onewebstrategy.com

I was listening to NPR and heard this interesting segment about how a little bit of walking, standing can really help you. [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDGwOfzlCHQ&w=560&h=315] from npr.org "Stand Up, Walk Around, Even Just For '20 Minutes' 5/9/12 If you're sitting at a desk reading this article, take a minute and stand up. That's the latest advice from New York Times Phys Ed columnist Gretchen Reynolds. In her new book, The First 20 Minutes, Reynolds details some of the surprisingly simple ways you can combat the effects of a sedentary lifestyle. Federal health guidelines recommend 30 minutes of moderate exercise — such as walking or jogging — every single day. But new research shows that even regular exercisers may not be doing enough to counteract the health hazards of sitting down at a desk all day long. More Health And Exercise Tips How Revving Up Your Heart Rate, Even A Bit, Pays Off Getting your rate into your target zone can help you get more out of a workout. Lighter Weights Can Still Make A Big Fitness Difference You don't have to lift heavy weights to build muscles. More reps with lighter weights works. How To Eat Out Without Putting On The Pounds A researcher says one secret to keeping the pounds off is eating slowly and savoring each bite. Even A Little Exercise Can Help Your Heart Even modest amounts of physical activity reduce the dangers of heart disease, a new study finds. "Sitting for long periods of time — when you don't stand up, don't move at all — tends to cause changes physiologically within your muscles," says Reynolds. "You stop breaking up fat in your bloodstream, you start getting accumulations of fat ... in your liver, your heart and your brain. You get sleepy. You gain weight. You basically are much less healthy than if you're moving." Reynolds recommends standing for two minutes every 20 minutes while desk-bound — even if you can't move around your office. "That sounds so simple," she tells Fresh Air's Terry Gross. "But that actually has profound consequences. If you can stand up every 20 minutes — even if you do nothing else — you change how your body responds physiologically." Studies have shown that frequent standing breaks significantly decrease your chances of getting diabetes, she says. "If you can also walk around your office, you get even more benefits. You will lose weight, you lessen your chance of heart disease, and you will improve your brain. But if you can do nothing else, stand up!" Reynolds says she's started standing up every time she answers the telephone. "I bought a music stand, which costs next to nothing, and I can put papers on it," she explains. "I read standing up. I try and walk down the hall once an hour. I walk outside and turn around and walk back in. That's enough to break up the physiological changes that sitting otherwise causes." Reynolds' book also details the latest scientific research on running, stretching and hydration techniques. Here are some of the findings: The First 20 Minutes The First 20 Minutes Surprising Science Reveals How We Can Exercise Better, Train Smarter, Live Longer by Gretchen Reynolds To Stretch Or Not To Stretch?: Research now suggests that stretching before a workout isn't necessarily a good thing, because it causes the brain to think you're about to tear those muscles, says Reynolds. "When you stretch and hold a pose, the brain thinks you are about to damage yourself and it then sends out nerve impulses that actually tighten the muscles," she explains. "... The result is, you're less ready for activity, not more ready for activity." Don't Skip The Warm-Up: Science suggests that a very easy warmup — a light jog, for example — may be all that most of us need. "What you want to do when you warm up is warm up the tissues," she says. "You want to get the muscles, the tendons — all of the parts of your body — warm, and the best way to do that is to use those tissues." Reynolds recommends jogging before a run or an intense sports match. Running's Rewards And Risks: Running reduces the risks of heart disease and diabetes, helps maintain your weight and improves brain health. "There's very good science that running for even 30 minutes or so doubles the number of brain cells in certain portions of the brain related to memory," says Reynolds. "Running is wonderful for the health of your body." But the injury rate among runners, she cautions, is extremely high — with as many as 75 percent of runners getting one injury a year. "So running can be very hard on the body at the same time it's very good for the body," she says. Humans Were Made For Walking: Walking may be the single best exercise that exists on the planet, Reynolds says. It's low-impact and has a relatively low risk for injury. "Walking appears to be what the human body was built for," she explains. Even 15 minutes will reduce your risk for heart disease and diabetes. Gretchen Reynolds writes the Phys Ed column for the New York Times. Becoming fit and becoming healthier are two different things. "You can become healthy with a much lower amount and a much lower intensity of exercise," says Reynolds. "A nice easy walk will improve your health. If you make it a little ... harder or a little more difficult for you to walk, you will become more fit and you will get more benefits. But even if you just walk lightly, you will be healthier than if you don't do anything." www.onewebstrategy.com

Ok, we've all had the discussion with ourselves or with someone else at some point, right? Here I am today at a point where I need to move on....I have begun the interview process....once again! It is exciting and good things are coming about but wow, what a process. I have friends that got out of college and worked for their families, which is totally cool (I was in a family business for a while) but my point is that they never experienced a job interview. Amazing to me. So anyhow, I am trying to consider a job at (I have only one job offer so far) a few large firms worth billions of dollars, and the "safety" they propose, and the resources and support, and the salary you can generally expect, at least for a period of time. Then you have the nature of today's economy and the general uncertainty in any job. The limitations, politics, and bureaucracy of a corporation. On the other hand, I have an opportunity to take over a firm but things could be tight (cashflow) for the first months but I'd have total control and autonomy. Freedom. Unlimited potential and growth. But then again, its all on my shoulders, no backup, and no safety net. What things would you think about? Both great opportunities, right? I'm grateful for both. Where do you go? I have a family and want that freedom. I've earned lots of money before and I want that too. I've been self-employed and I've worked for billion dollar firms too. Both have their advantages. What do you think? I want pondering this when someone forwarded me from a website by Mike Dooley ....FYI Plan the celebration now. Sweep the floor. Clean the slate. Pick a date. Window shop, buy a few things, go out on a limb. Rearrange the furniture, pick some flowers, take some time off. No, no,.... Not necessarily because the tipping point has been reached... but because this is how you reach it. How's today looking? The Universe (from tut.com) www.onewebstrategy.com

I THINK VISUALIZATION IS one of the most important things in life – I even want to do it more myself. Here is another ‘part’ about it…enjoy! Visualization is one of the best techniques for harnessing your mind’s power to shape your life and move you towards your dreams. Some call it mental imagery, too, there are lots of names for it.The idea is simple – practice the video of what you want over and over, in great detail. Basically imagine it! We all want to do different and various things – maybe you’re looking to be more positive, to stick to your diet, to improve your golf swing or to end a bad habit. Simply create an idea, a vision or an image of something new. There is a program that teaches visualization called the “Silva Method”. They state the following: “In creative visualization, we use the power of imagination to create a mental image of what we want to accomplish or obtain. Your goal could be on any level physical emotional mental spiritual You might imagine yourself driving that BMW you always wanted, owning a home in the country, married to your ideal mate, succeeding at your job or having $100,000.00 in your bank account. No matter what your goal, the technique is basically the same. You imagine the desired outcome in your mind. At the same time, you repeat a positive affirmation about the goal. The affirmation is in the present tense. Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire,you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will. ~ George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950) more at onewebstrategy.com

om site Words To Live By – Visualization – part 2 “People who fail focus on what they will have to go through; people who succeed focus on what it will feel like at the end.” ― Anthony Robbins I want to discuss more about Visualization – more about technique in this session. The simplest thing to do is tell a story, from the end, as if you’ve already done it. How do you feel? How did you think/act/behave, etc. Also, I just finished reading the book “The Power of Habit” – which I recommend. Anyhow one study sighted in the book describes that people did better in many situations in sports/work/life when they not only visualized, set goals and asked questions before a situation but also asked themselves how they would react if different scenarios came up. Example: “What would I do during the presentation if the power went off? What would I say if someone brings a politically charged subject up? How will I regroup if I get off the subject? How will I re-direct if an attendee gets us off track?” – Etc. How should you visualize? Write a story! Once upon a time I was about to compete in a big competition before the event I felt like….. just before I felt like……. During the competition I felt like……. After the event I felt like………. .Write a script like you’re writing a bestselling movie starring you! The whole idea behind this technique is to imagine all the possible scenarios, positive and negative, and all the possible feelings, positive and negative, associated with them. I would suggest that any of the counterproductive feelings of stress and anxiety stem from the ‘great unknown’. If our mind has already experienced the stressful scenario in the comfort of our home, using mental imagery, then it is more likely that we will manage to manage the scenario when it happens for real. Misunderstanding the how and why visualization works often results in failure. It is easy to become disillusioned about the power of visualization when, no matter how often or hard we concentrate on visualizing the outcome we desire it just doesn’t happen. Many Americans first became aware of “visualization” as a technique when the Russians used the technique as central to training Olympic athletes – with great success. Since that time, the idea of visualization as a tool to live a better life has become practically a mainstream assumption within American culture. Visualize what we need/want and it will come. more at www.onewebstrategy.com

While visualization isn’t a value like some of the Words to Live By, such as “honesty”, I still know that it is a key Word to use in daily life. (you can listen to a podcast here) For a long time I wanted to visualize more often and struggled with it. I was always concerned I wasn’t doing it right and probably even held off because I thought I would ‘do it wrong’. Then I read one simple passage about it in a book and realized that any visualization is helpful. So I now try to do it often in different ways. First of all, let’s all realize and agree about an example of ‘bad’ visualization: Worry. When you worry, you typically picture – or visualize – something going wrong, right? Well, guess what, you’re reinforcing that image in your mind. You are physically creating the chemical and biological connections that could make that negative thing more likely. I read once that “worrying in like praying for bad things to happen”. I think that society has taught us – especially my mother’s generation and many mothers in our country – that if you don’t worry, you don’t care. I know so many women that feel that worrying is a necessity if you have a family. Some feel that if you don’t worry, you aren’t as good of a mother. I say all that is wrong. Visualizing is a form of praying, I believe. When we pray for someone that is sick or in need of help in some way, we want them to get better or find themselves in a better situation. We often pray for help and guidance in our own lives. Visualization is very important. Regardless if you believe in the Law of Attraction, the Secret, or anything spiritual, there is so much scientific support for it. I think that schools should teach it. If you talk with any coach or athlete at a good college program, in the Olympics, or a professional athlete, they all use visualization. Arnold Palmer, Michael Jordan, Jim Carry, Arnold "the Terminator", and entire teams of players. Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps was taught by his coach to “play the tape” each night and morning. That meant to play the mental tape, like a video, of him swimming and winning. (you can read my blog at www.onewebstrategy.com