Podcasts about mpho tutu

Many of the most prominent social activists in the last half century or so have also been contemplatives: Howard Thurman, the Dalai Lama, and Thomas Merton among others. Does the sort of spirituality we talk about here have things to offer in a world like ours where people feel daily outrages flowing through their media feeds? Might our practices actually be negative--in that moving past constant reactivity might make us too passive? But surely constant outrage mostly leads to hopelessness (and unpleasant days). Dave Schmelzer is joined by Grace Schmelzer and Steve Joh (a former pastor who currently leads a network of small, spacious, spiritual, Christian communities in the Bay Area) for a lively conversation about all of this, including a look at the most commonly discussed spiritual approach to addressing such times.Mentioned on this podcast:Register your interest in the next Faith Part 2 course here.Arbor communities in the Bay AreaThe Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World, by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu

This is our unabridged interview with Mpho Tutu van Furth. What does it mean to ask someone for forgiveness? The experience after Apartheid in South Africa has much to teach us. “In English, you say, ‘I'm sorry, forgive me.' It's all about me”  Says Mpho Tutu van Furth, daughter to the late Desmond Tutu. But in the South African language of Xhosa “You say ndicela uxolo which means ‘I ask for peace'. And that's a very different thing than ‘forgive me'” In this episode, explore the deep impact of apartheid in South Africa, the meaning of true forgiveness, and the profound philosophy of Ubuntu. Discover how Mpho carries on her father's legacy of peace and reconciliation while navigating her own journey as an Episcopalian priest and social activist. This heartfelt and enlightening conversation delves into the courage required to love, forgive, and build a just community. Show Notes Resources mentioned this episode: The Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation Forgiveness and Reparation: The Healing Journey by Mpho Tutu The Book of Forgiving by Desdmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa   Similar NSE episodes: Azim Khamisa: Ending Violence Through Forgiveness Forgiving My Mother's Murderer: Sharon Risher Pádraig Ó Tuama: A Poet's Work in Peace and Reconciliation PDF of Lee's Interview Notes Transcript of Abridged Episode Want more NSE? JOIN NSE+ Today! Our subscriber only community with bonus episodes designed specifically to help you live a good life, ad-free listening, and discounts on live shows Subscribe to episodes: Apple | Spotify | Amazon | Google | YouTubeFollow Us: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | YouTubeFollow Lee: Instagram | TwitterJoin our Email List: nosmallendeavor.com See Privacy Policy: Privacy Policy Amazon Affiliate Disclosure: Tokens Media, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program… Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

What does it mean to ask someone for forgiveness? The experience after Apartheid in South Africa has much to teach us. “In English, you say, ‘I'm sorry, forgive me.' It's all about me”  Says Mpho Tutu van Furth, the daughter to the late Desmond Tutu. But in the South African language of Xhosa “You say ndicela uxolo which means ‘I ask for peace'. And that's a very different thing than ‘forgive me'” In this episode, explore the deep impact of apartheid in South Africa, the meaning of true forgiveness, and the profound philosophy of Ubuntu. Discover how Mpho carries on her father's legacy of peace and reconciliation while navigating her own journey as an Episcopalian priest and social activist. This heartfelt and enlightening conversation delves into the courage required to love, forgive, and build a just community. Show Notes Resources mentioned this episode: The Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation Forgiveness and Reparation: The Healing Journey by Mpho Tutu The Book of Forgiving by Desdmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa  Similar NSE episodes: Azim Khamisa: Ending Violence Through Forgiveness Forgiving My Mother's Murderer: Sharon Risher Pádraig Ó Tuama: A Poet's Work in Peace and Reconciliation PDF of Lee's Interview Notes Transcription Link Want more NSE? JOIN NSE+ Today! Our subscriber only community with bonus episodes designed specifically to help you live a good life, ad-free listening, and discounts on live shows Subscribe to episodes: Apple | Spotify | Amazon | Google | YouTubeFollow Us: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | YouTubeFollow Lee: Instagram | TwitterJoin our Email List: nosmallendeavor.com See Privacy Policy: Privacy Policy Amazon Affiliate Disclosure: Tokens Media, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linki… Learn about your ad choices: dovetail.prx.org/ad-choices

In Part 3 of this series, Sage Robbins and her dear friend, podcast host turned surrogate, Mary B, delve deeply into the essence of forgiveness, exploring its profound impact on mental health and personal well-being. Sage shares how forgiveness has unlocked her inner freedom and helped her align with her true nature, while Mary offers a fresh perspective on transforming everyday frustrations into opportunities for growth. Their conversation encourages listeners to look beyond actions and recognize the inherent innocence in each person. Together, they explore "The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World" by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu, illustrating the complexity of human nature and the transformative power of forgiveness.  They also answer audience questions on the topic of forgiveness and reflect on our shared human experience. Sage and Mary emphasize the vital roles of compassion, acceptance, and the ongoing journey of forgiving oneself, others, and our loved ones.  We hope you enjoy the final episode of this series! Episode Notes:  00:00:25 – Why we forgive 00:03:10 – “Units of energy” and who holds the power? 00:06:30 – The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu 00:07:55 – Mental architecture 00:09:15 – Question from Lauren: Does forgiveness count if you forgive someone in your heart versus if you forgive someone face to face? 00:12:09 – Question from Niraj: How does one get the real feeling of forgiveness in the heart, rather than the mental talk of forgiveness? 00:15:27 – Question from Demetra: As children, do we have to forgive our parents for the way they treated us, or do we have to accept them as they are? 00:17:10 – Question from Paola: How do you know if forgiving means stay or leave? 00:21:49 – Sign off You can watch the video version of this episode at: Youtube.com/Tonyrobbinslive Join to submit questions for future podcasts! https://tr.tonyrobbins.com/tric-now The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu https://www.amazon.com/Book-Forgiving...

In Part 2 of this heartfelt series, Sage Robbins and her dear friend, podcast host turned surrogate, Mary B., dive intimately into the essence of forgiveness, exploring its profound impact on mental health and personal well-being. Sage shares how forgiveness has unlocked her inner freedom and helped her align with her true nature, while Mary offers a fresh perspective on transforming even everyday frustrations into opportunities for growth. This conversation addresses modern phenomena like cancel culture, encouraging listeners to look beyond actions and recognize the inherent innocence in each person. As Tony Robbins often teaches, forgiveness is about freeing oneself from the chains of past hurts to step into a more beautiful state and impactful destiny. Sage and Mary also introduce the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho'oponopono, a transformational ritual of reconciliation. They delve into the four healing phrases: “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you,” explaining how this process of honesty and love can clear the emotional noise of the mind and cultivate compassion, regardless of the conflict or personal trauma.  The episode goes deeper with practical tools and practices for clearing emotional blocks, including insights from Dr. Hew Len and a special song that Sage sings with her family each night. Mary B. also discusses the darker aspects of human experience, such as depression, guilt, and shame, providing listeners with a pathway to healing. Throughout this episode, Sage and Mary invite listeners on a reflective journey, offering practical advice and heartfelt encouragement. They emphasize the vital role of compassion, acceptance, and the ongoing journey of forgiving oneself, others, and our loved ones.  We hope you enjoy Part 2 of this conversation! Episode Notes:  00:00:00 – Ho'oponopono: A traditional Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness 00:02:11 – Clearing tools and practices 00:04:35 – Dr. Hew Len 00:07:35– The song we sing at bedtime every night 00:09:40 – Mary B. on depression, guilt, shame, and human darkness 00:12:45 – The six steps of Ho'oponopono treatment 00:13:55 – Healing the body 00:15:30– Sage on the gift of pain and evolution 00:16:40 – Sage on why we don't forgive 00:19:20– Forgiving and clearing when someone has passed on 00:21:00 – Florence Scovel Shinn: “I RELEASE YOU TO YOUR GREATEST GOOD”   Watch the video version of this episode on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TonyRobbinsLive   Links Mentioned: Inner Circle — Join to submit questions for future podcasts! https://tr.tonyrobbins.com/tric-now Ho'oponopono: The Hawaiian Ritual of Forgiveness by Ulrich E. Duprée https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS... Baby Reindeer dominates this year's TCA Awards nominations https://www.avclub.com/2024-televisio... The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu https://www.amazon.com/Book-Forgiving...

The reasons for forgiving ourselves are the same as for forgiving others. It is how we become free of the past. It is how we heal and grow. It is how we make meaning out of our suffering, restore our self-esteem, and tell a new story of who we are. If forgiving others leads to an external peace, forgiving ourselves leads to an internal peace. —Desmond and Mpho Tutu, The Book of Forgiving The truth is we actually do love and forgive others as we love and forgive ourselves. If we are loving and forgiving of ourselves then we will be able to offer this same love and forgiveness to others.  We cannot give to others what we cannot give to ourselves. 

If you're taking over as team leader, you need to have open and honest conversations about the change in dynamics. If you've previously enjoyed a friendly relationship and you're transitioning from buddy to boss, or you're filling someone else's shoes, it's time to show humility, honour the past, embrace an uncertain future, and accept feedback from your team.This week, adaptive organisations consultant Jon Barnes rejoins the podcast. Jon helps organisations shift from rigid hierarchies or bureaucracies towards teams that manage themselves, promoting more autonomy. He's a fan of working styles where individuals have more freedom but are also more accountable, and he focuses on helping groups collectively nurture the culture they want, together.Three reasons to listenUnderstand how to handle the "buddy to boss" transition by establishing a new social contract with your teamExplore ways to maintain mutual respect and equality in relationships, even when hierarchical structures are in placeLearn specific techniques for scheduling, giving and receiving feedback, in order to shape a constructive leadership styleEpisode highlights[00:07:42] The budy-to-boss problem[00:18:38] The perils of bringing in an outside team whisperer[00:30:29] Big shoes to fill[00:37:43] Jon's recommendation[00:39:42] Takeaways from Pia and DanLinksLeave us a voice noteConnect with Jon via LinkedInThe Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World, by Mpho Tutu and Desmond Tutu

Dave Schmelzer's new favorite book on forgiveness (and maybe one of his favorite books period) is by Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu van Furth. Mpho joins Dave from Amsterdam to talk about what she's taken from the book in years since, her reflections on it being forged out of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission and much more.Mentioned on this podcast:The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World, by Desmond and Mpho Tutu.

You'd think that apart from affirming that, of course, forgiving people who've hurt us is crucial to our happiness, there wouldn't be much more to say. But Desmond and Mpho Tutu wrote what seems like the final word on the subject in their wonderful The Book of Forgiving, which includes many stories from Desmond's leading of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission which was central to preventing bloody civil war after apartheid fell. Dave Schmelzer talks with Grace Schmelzer about how the Tutus's insights have impacted their experience of forgiving.Mentioned on this podcast:The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World, by Desmond and Mpho Tutu.

O começo de conversa é um programa que antecede o "Uma Conversa" da semana, sempre com algum artigo que vai ajudar a compreender o tema a ser abordado.Nessa semana lemos um trecho do segundo capítulo da obra "O livro do perdão" de Desmond Tutu e Mpho Tutu disponível em: https://www.amazon.com.br/Livro-do-Perd%C3%A3o-Desmond-Tutu/dp/8565859436| Site: https://umaconversa.com.br/| Apadrinhe: https://apoia.se/patraodoumaconversa| Redes Sociais: @1Conversa| E-Mail: conversaconosco@gmail.com

Funeral rites are steeped in culture, tradition and faith, with most of the world opting for cremation or burial. However, with new research now revealing the carbon impact of established funeral choices, more people are questioning their cost to the climate. With alternatives such as ‘water cremation' and ‘eco-burials' becoming available, will people start to consider another way? Presenter Jordan Dunbar hears about initiatives in India to modify traditional funeral pyres, calculates the climate cost of the most common choices, and hears from Archbishop Desmond Tutu's daughter, Rev. Mpho Tutu van Furth, about her surprise at her father's final act on earth. Producer: Osman Iqbal Researcher: Octavia Woodward Series Producer: Simon Watts Editor: China Collins Sound Engineer: Tom Brignell Production Coordinators: Debbie Richford and Sophie Hill

Forgiving What You Can't Forget Pt. 2   We're discussing part two of forgiving what you can't forget and continuing to talk about the fourfold path to forgiveness. These references come from Desmond and Mpho Tutu's book The Book on Forgiving. It's an incredible book; so well written. When I read this book, it was like a really kind, sweet, older gentleman, uncle, grandpa, that kind of person, who was just, loves you through his words. That's the best way that I can describe it. It's such a compassionate, gentle book, but with powerful truths.    Step 2 - Name the Hurt The next step in the fourfold path to forgiveness is naming the hurt. It's one thing for you to tell the story. For example, this thing happened to me,  my husband was unfaithful, my wife depleted our bank account, whatever the situation is. But it's another thing for you to then name the hurt for you to actually get real about what was lost. What did you lose when that thing happened? Get real specific about that. I've had quite a few things happen in my life that have caused me grief, and I've just kind of moved on. Now, that's not to say that I haven't grieved at all, but if I'm honest, I probably skipped some steps because I don't like to feel sad. I don't like feeling sorrow. I don't like to think about loss. So to really be honest and real with myself about the fact that I really lost something there takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of honesty.    It takes a lot of vulnerability to just sit with that and to realize that some of the things that you lost, you can never get back. If you were, God forbid, sexually assaulted as a child, you lost your innocence, and you won't be able to get that back. Now, that does not mean that you're damaged goods. It doesn't mean that your life is over and you're somehow always going to be walking around with a scarlet A on your forehead. Absolutely not. But it does mean that you have to acknowledge that something was lost. So a part of naming the hurt is super important because it allows you to stop pretending or minimizing what happened. It's one thing to, again, be general, I was hurt, I was betrayed, I was let down. It's another thing to say, this is the hurt. I lost my confidence, I lost my security, I lost the closeness that I felt with that person. I lost my safety, I lost my savings. Whatever it might be, whatever was lost. It's important that you're able to name that and not just the tangible things, but the Nontangibles. That's super important that we're able to do that. Be specific about what it is that you lost.    Good Grief There's another book, and I'll link to this in the show notes of this podcast. It's called Good Grief by Granger Westburg. I read this book back in 2008 after my best friend passed away from breast cancer, and I've talked about this before on the show. I've told you just now that I'm not the greatest at dealing with grief. So I had to start seeing a grief counselor because I could not move on. Now, obviously, you're dealing with a very significant loss, like people expect you to grieve for a while, right? But this was different. It wasn't like I was in denial. I knew that she had died, but it really affected me in ways that I did not know what to do with. And so I started seeing a grief counselor. And that was one of the best decisions that I ever did because I think had I not started seeing that grief counselor, I probably would have just masked it under some religious jargon, like, “Oh, she's in glory, bless the Lord.” That's not what we need to do when we are going through loss and pain. We don't need to mask it in some religious ideology.    ALSO LISTEN TO EP. 47: GRIEVING WITH HOPE    Step 3 - Granting Forgiveness Step three is granting forgiveness. Now, I say this a lot, and I'm going to say it again, that forgiveness is both a choice and a process. You are not always going to feel like forgiving. And forgiveness is not just something as easy as just like, I forgive you. Okay, let's move on. It starts off as a choice, but then you have to work it out as a process. These four steps that I'm giving you today is the process, or a process. So when I tell you that you need to grant forgiveness, it is a choice. You have to get to a point where you realize that when you withhold forgiveness from someone, you're truly only hurting yourself in the long run.    Scientific studies have shown what unforgiveness does to the human body. Our bodies were not meant to hold on to unforgiveness. Your body was not meant to hold on to unforgiveness. You were not created to hold that much pain, to absorb that much trauma unhealed. So when you choose not to forgive, you're choosing to stay stuck in your trauma and in your shame, and in your pain. I tweeted this years ago. It's not my original tweet, but “Holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison, expecting the other person to die.” Some of the people that we are not forgiving have gone on about their lives, and they are not thinking about you at all. They're not thinking about what they did. They're not thinking about your hurt. They're not thinking about anything. They are living their best life, and you're the one stuck in the trauma. How do you get out of it? Well, you choose to forgive them.    Forgiveness is also not something that they earn. Forgiveness is a gift. They don't have to ever ask you for an apology. I know that's hard to hear because we want that. We need that. It's like, wait a minute, you hurt me. You need to apologize. And the truth is, in a perfect world, absolutely that would work. But not everybody's going to apologize. Maybe they don't think that what they did was wrong. Maybe they're a jerk. So maybe that person has died and they'll never be able to acknowledge what they did. They'll never be able to apologize. And this is why forgiveness is not predicated on someone asking for an apology. Forgiveness is simply a choice that you make. It's what you choose to do. I choose to forgive you, even if you're unworthy. Even if you never ask for my forgiveness. Even if you don't think you did anything wrong. This is hard. You all easier said than done. I get it. I get it. But when you choose to forgive, you release yourself. Yeah, you release that person, but you really release yourself. You release yourself from them having to pay you back for whatever they did. Forgiveness is a gift. And I think one of the things that really helps us to forgive others is realizing that we have been forgiven.   When we realize that we're humans, and I know that sounds so oversimplified, like everyone's human, but truthfully, we have done things to others that we didn't intend to do. We have hurt other people. We have caused people pain. And sometimes we meant to and sometimes we didn't. So when we're able to get in touch with that side of ourselves, with our humanity, then it gives us grace for other people. It gives us compassion for other people. Even when they hurt us, it gives us empathy for other people.    Forgiving Keeps Your Heart Tender Maybe you need to forgive yourself. Maybe you've done something that is just so horrible and you've not forgiven yourself. It's time for you to put yourself in the forgiveness box. It's time for you to give yourself some grace, some compassion, some empathy. And that is what happens when we choose to forgive. We set ourselves free. We set the other person free. Ephesians 4:32, one of my favorite scriptures, says, “Be kind one to another, tender-hearted forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sakes, has forgiven you.” Think about that. Tenderhearted. When you forgive, you keep your heart tender. You see when you choose to hold on to unforgiveness, it makes your heart hard and calloused.    And you wonder why you can't love. You wonder why you can't bond. You wonder why there's a wall up between you and other people. It's because when you hold on to unforgiveness, it hardens you. It embitters you. But when you're able to forgive, you have a tender heart. You keep your heart soft and pliable and flexible. Maybe you think but then people are going to hurt you again. Maybe they will. But I'd rather have a tender heart that's open to love and that's open to accepting people and living with others with all of their weaknesses, all of their flaws, all of their insecurities, and mine vs being this hardened, tough person who's trying to protect myself from all the hurts in the world. Because guess what, friend? You can live like that all you want. And people are still going to figure out a way to hurt you. So you may as well live with a tender heart.    Step 4 - Renew or Release the Relationship    Step four is to renew or release the relationship. This is an important conversation here because there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. There are some relationships that are not going to be able to be reconciled. Like I said earlier, there might be people in your life who have died. You can't be reconciled with them. There might be people in your life who are completely unsafe, and I've had to do that with some people. I will offer forgiveness, but we will not have a relationship. I'm not going to be bitter. I'm not going to egg your house. I'm not going to pray for your demise, but we will not be reconciled, and that is okay. You want to use those situations sparsely. You don't want that to be your M.O. for everybody. You don't want that to be how you treat people. But the truth is, there are some relationships that can be renewed. In Thrive Relationship Coaching, we talk about how to actually restore your relationships, but then even with that, I understand that there are going to be some relationships that are not going to be able to be restored.   There are some relationships that aren't going to be able to be restored, but there are many relationships that can be. So how do you know the difference? How do I know if this relationship can be restored or if I need to be able to release it? Repentance? Is that person truly repentant? Are they willing to make repairs? If they're not willing to make repairs and if they're not repentant, well, then that leaves you with your answer.    To Forget or Not Forget?   Yes, there are times that you can wipe the slate clean, when have chosen to forgive. It's then that you need to start over and wipe the slate clean. This is what it means to “keep no record of wrongs,” like it says in 1 Corinthians 13. This does not mean that love allows you to just be taken advantage of or that love never brings up wrongs. It said, keeps no record, meaning that you're not always throwing in the face something that your spouse or whoever did to you. So when you decide your relationship can be repaired, renewed, or restored, it's time to wipe the slate clean. Next, you do what the Bible teaches in Philippians 3: “forget what lies behind and you press forward to what lies ahead.”   Now, the title of this episode is Forgiving What You Can't Forget. So am I contradicting myself? No. And neither is the word of God when it says forgetting what lies behind. God knows that we're human beings and we're not going to technically forget. But it means that you no longer focus on that thing. That thing is in your rearview mirror. So just like you driving down the street and you see some houses and some fields and some cars. When you pass those things, those things are in your past, they're done. You're probably not going to keep staring in your rearview mirror because then guess what? You'll miss everything that's in front of you. That's how healthy relationships work. Once you forgive, now it's behind you. That doesn't mean that you'll never think about it. That doesn't mean that you won't even sometimes reach back in the past to help other people with your story as I said earlier. But it does mean that you're no longer harping on that thing. You're no longer focusing on it. It's not tripping you up anymore. You're choosing to let the past be the past, and you're choosing to press ahead to what lies ahead in the future. And if you're not able to do that, then that relationship is not going to be restored or repaired.    Release the Hurt   So this brings us to our final point here, which is forgiveness is about releasing. It's about releasing the hurt. So just like we named the hurt, now it's about releasing the hurt. Just like you confronted the person, now it's about releasing the person. Just like you had to tell your story, now it's about releasing that story so that you can now tell a different story.   God has used our story to bless many, many marriages so that they could know that there is truly nothing that you will go through in your marriage that God can't fix and heal so long as you're willing to do the work. And this is why we end every episode by saying that a good relationship is not one that works. A good relationship is one where you put in the work. You've got to put in the work. There's no magic wand fairy dust that God's doing for some people and not for others. That's not how it works. If you're willing to do the work, if you're willing to go through this process of forgiveness that we've talked about, anything can work.   If you're ready to do the work of restoring your relationship, schedule your discovery call with me at http://danache.com/getstarted.    Links Mentioned in this Episode    Episode 149: Forgiving What You Can't Forget - Pt. 1 Episode 116: Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs - with Dr. J. Calvin Tibbs     SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forgiving What You Can't Forget - Pt. 1   Today we are going to go a little deep. We're going to do a little bit of excavation into your heart, perhaps to pull out some old memories that you would prefer to stay tucked away. We are going to go after the cover-up that you have put over some of those wounds, and we're going to make sure that what you have forgiven is really, indeed healed. For some, you're listening to this episode today on forgiveness, because you haven't been able to forgive. You haven't been able to move on, and you need somebody to help you out. After this and next week's episode, you will have a blueprint on how to get over what was done to you, how to forgive, and move on.  The title of this episode is forgiving what you can't forget. And I know that we have so much to talk about, so I've actually split this episode up into two separate episodes. So we're going to talk about part one today and then next week join us because we are going to finish up with part two.   Everybody Needs to Learn How to Forgive If there is one thing that I know for sure as a marriage coach, as a pastor, as a woman, and as a human being, it is that we all are going to have to walk through forgiveness at some point or another. You could have the most perfect marriage, the most healthy relationship, the best friendship, you name it, but at some point because you are in a relationship with another human being, you're going to be hurt and you are going to hurt.  We need to understand that forgiveness isn't something that just really resilient strong people do. It isn't something that only struggling relationships have to go through. We all have to learn how to forgive. And the more that you do it, the easier it gets. So as I look back over my life, I can think of many people whom I've really had to forgive, really struggled to forgive. And here's the truth. The closer the person is to you, the harder it is to forgive. Because the people that are closest to us have the most ability or the greatest ability to hurt us the deepest. If I'm just upset with my coworker because they ate my lunch that I put in the refrigerator, well, I mean, I have to forgive that. But it's not like the end of the world versus if I have to forgive my husband who betrayed my trust. So regardless of who came to your mind, regardless of whom you're thinking about, what I'm going to share with you over these next two episodes is going to be completely applicable.    The Inspiration Behind Forgiving What You Can't Forget This episode is not intended to be a therapeutic session. It is not intended to be a full-out coaching session, even though coaching obviously will help you. And I do work with all of my clients on this process of forgiveness. Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Women wrote a book called Forgiving What You Can't Forget. If you know anything about her story, Lysa was married for nearly 30 years to a man who was a habitual cheater. And her lifestyle is very public, especially for those in the Christian community. Many Christian women know who Lysa TerKeurst is as she has a very prominent ministry. She has lived this whole debacle out in the public eye. I have nothing but respect for her. I did a YouTube video on this very topic of her story on forgiveness about how I applauded her, really, for leaving this very toxic marriage.  You all know me. I am for marriage. I am pro-marriage. I don't take divorce lightly at all. But in her situation, she was married to a man who she had given grace upon grace upon grace upon grace, chance after chance after chance after chance. They publicly renewed their wedding vows, and this man committed to being faithful and loyal and he wasn't. So she finally made the decision that she was going to need to walk away. And I know that that took a lot of courage. I'm sure that there are people who probably disagreed with her decision, and I'm sure that it was really like a battle within herself to even get to that point. But through her pain, she wrote this book called Forgiving What You Can't Forget, and that is really what inspired, obviously, the title of this podcast.    Recommended Books on Forgiveness Another book I'm going to recommend to you is called The Book on Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and his daughter Mpho Tutu. Obviously, those are African names. This is such a good book. I originally got this book, I don't know, maybe three years ago. I think it was like right at the start of COVID. This book is really about a lot of what Desmond experienced coming out of apartheid and how he learned how to forgive. But it's not just the apartheid story, because most of us have not had that experience. But he really teaches about these tenets of forgiveness. And one of the most profound things, I think, that I have probably ever read in my whole life was out of this book. He talks about the fourfold path to forgiveness.    The Fourfold Path to Forgiveness  Today I'm going to teach something that I've never taught before, and it is this whole fourfold path to forgiveness. So the first thing, let me actually give you all four. And then, like I said, we're going to introduce this topic today and then we're going to continue this next week on this fourfold path. The first thing that you're going to want to do is tell your story. The second thing is to name the hurt. The third thing is to grant forgiveness. And then the last thing is to renew or release the relationship.   When Is the Process of Forgiveness Complete? What does it look like when the process of forgiveness is complete? How do you know if you've really forgiven someone? I get asked that question a lot. One of the things that I always say is, first of all, you'll know when the process of forgiveness is complete when you can think about that memory and it no longer stings, it no longer burns. Let's say I burned myself with a curling iron, which I have many, many times, especially when I was a little kid. Not knowing what I was doing curling my hair. So I have a scar from the burn. If I look at that scar, then I remember exactly what happened there. I'm like, oh, yeah, I was eight years old. I was curling my hair in the bathroom at my house and felt the singe. I felt that thing on my neck.  So I can think back to that memory. But if I touch that scar, it no longer hurts, it no longer burns, there's nothing oozing. It's completely healed. Likewise, my friend, when you think back over that memory, whatever happened, you think of that person and there's nothing that oozes emotionally. There's no more pain, there's no more stinging. That's when you know that the process of forgiveness is complete.  I've written about forgiveness, even shared on an earlier podcast episode about forgiveness, and I've given lots of tips throughout many other episodes on this podcast on forgiveness. I talk about forgiveness so much because it a necessary in a healthy marriage or relationship. You simply cannot build a connection or commitment without learning how to forgive. I hope the lessons you hear in today's episode jumpstarts your journey on the path of forgiveness and may you learn to forgive the things you can't forget.  ALSO LISTEN TO: The Power of Forgiveness in Relationships: Release Them, Restore You   Links Mentioned in this Episode  The Book on Forgiving by Desmond Tutu Forgiving What You Can't Forget by Lysa TerKeurst Episode 18: How to Love Your Spouse When You Don't Like Your Spouse    SUBSCRIBE | SHARE | RATE | COMMENT To ensure you never miss an episode, be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Remember, sharing is caring! So, share these episodes with your friends and family via email or social media.See omny.fm/listener for privacy information.

How is Jesus revealed through our community? Christopher Mack reflects on the messiness of community and how the cross leads us into solidarity with the marginalized as our personal and communal wounds are mended. [1 Corinthians 1:10-13, 17-18]   Reflection Where do you experience the wounds of severed community? How might the cruciform power of Jesus bring care to your pain? What creative redemptive foolishness might you be invited to participate in? Resources Book: Forgiveness and Reparation, the Healing Journey by Mpho Tutu van Furth

“You are not obligated to forgive someone who has offered neither apology nor repair.” This opinion is one both April and Tracie have received at different points in their lives, and which is surfacing now as we approach the high holy days. And though we both needed to hear that message when it was delivered, we're also realizing that it is not the end of the story. The longing for healing and wholeness after hurt has us looking for a third way–a path toward teshuvah, or return, and wholeness, shalem/sh'lemut–even in the absence of apology. Share your insights or ask us a question at https://joyousjustice.com/jews-talk-racial-justice-questions.Join our mailing list at https://joyousjustice.com.  Check out our offerings and join one of our programs! https://joyousjustice.com/coursesFind April's TikTok videos here: https://www.tiktok.com/@aprilavivabaskin Follow us on Instagram (@joyous.justice), Twitter, (@JoyousJustice), or Facebook (www.facebook.com/joyousjustice365)Find April and Tracie's full bios and submit topic suggestions for the show at www.JewsTalkRacialJustice.comLearn more about Joyous Justice and join our mailing list: https://joyousjustice.com/Support the work our Jewish Black & Cherokee woman-led vision for collective liberation here: https://joyousjustice.com/support-our-workLearn more about Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu's work, The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World: https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-book-of-forgiving-desmond-tutumpho-tutu?variant=32122225983522Read about the Japanese art of kintsugi, “golden joinery”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KintsugiTara Brach relays the story of the Golden Buddha in her work Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN: https://www.tarabrach.com/books/radical-compassion/April and Tracie talked about the Golden Buddha in our first-ever Rosh Hashanah episode, Ep 2: Rosh Hashanah, Prince, and Visions, Both Big and Small: https://jewstalkracialjustice.buzzsprout.com/1146023/5430970-ep-2-rosh-hashanah-prince-and-visions-both-big-small

Forgiveness is not a point in time but a process that takes intentionality, patience, and community. Using the story of Jacob and Esau and the teachings of Desmond and Mpho Tutu we will learn a pathway to forgive others and to forgive ourselves. That pathway begins with Telling the Story.

Forgiveness is not a point in time but a process that takes intentionality, patience, and community. Using the story of Jacob and Esau and the teachings of Desmond and Mpho Tutu we will learn a pathway to forgive others and to forgive ourselves. That pathway begins with Telling the Story.

The daughter of the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu speaks to Megan Cornwell about apartheid, the legacy of her famous father and how her gay marriage led to a break with South Africa's Anglican Church.    You can also read this interview in Premier Christianity magazine. Subscribe to the UK's leading Christian magazine in print and online for just £4.95/month. http://premierchristianity.com/subscribe

On the podcast this week, the Revd Mpho Tutu van Furth talks about her book Forgiveness and Reparation, The Healing Journey. The conversation with Catherine Fox was recorded at Church Times Festival of Faith and Literature, which took place online on 19 February. The theme of the festival was Finding Hope. Buy a recording of the whole event at https://faithandliterature.hymnsam.co.uk/february-2022/ Forgiveness and Reparation, in the My Theology series published by Darton, Longman & Todd, is available to buy from the Church House Bookshop. Read an extract here: https://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2022/11-february/features/features/forgiveness-and-reparation-dance-begins-with-love Mpho Tutu van Furth is a South African pastor, author, artist, and activist. She is the daughter of Archbishop Desmond and Leah Tutu and the founding director of the Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation. Find out about forthcoming Church Times events, including an online Lent retreat on Saturday (5 March), at https://www.churchtimes.co.uk/events Find out more about the Church Times Festival of Faith and Literature at https://faithandliterature.hymnsam.co.uk Try 10 issues of the Church Times for £10 or get two months access to our website and apps, also for £10. Go to churchtimes.co.uk/new-reader.

We are celebrating the life of the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who spoke to Outlook in 2014 with his daughter, Mpho Tutu van Furth, about family and forgiveness. They had written a book together called The Book of Forgiving. Presenter: Jo Fidgen Producer: Deiniol Buxton Get in touch: outlook@bbc.com (Photo: Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter the Reverend Mpho Tutu van Furth. Credit: Oryx Media 2013)

We are celebrating the life of the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who spoke to Outlook in 2014 with his daughter, Mpho Tutu van Furth, about family and forgiveness. They had written a book together called The Book of Forgiving. Presenter: Jo Fidgen Producer: Deiniol Buxton Get in touch: outlook@bbc.com (Photo: Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter the Reverend Mpho Tutu van Furth. Credit: Oryx Media 2013)

Revisit the Rev. Barbara Ballenger's sermon for the Second Sunday after Epiphany, January 16, 2022.Today's readings are: Exodus 3:7-12 Psalm 77:11-20 Galatians 3:23-29 Luke 6:27-36Readings may be found on LectionaryPage.net: https://www.lectionarypage.net/LesserFF/Apr/King.h... The Circle of Mercy The Rev. Barbara Ballenger January 16th, 2022 Let us pray. Lord God, who showed your servant Martin Luther King the way of agape love, guide us in that way as we listen for your word today. On November 17, 1957, The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. walked to the pulpit of Dexter Avenue Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama. He was sick. The doctor told him to stay home and rest, but he insisted he had to preach that day, so they reached a compromise. King would not go into the pulpit until it was time to preach, and after that he would go directly home and get in bed. And that's what he did, I imagine. But in the half hour or so that he stood at that pulpit, he preached on the call to love our enemies. He used the text from Matthew chapter 5 which parallels the one that we had from Luke today, but the ideas are the same. Dr. King told the congregation that this was a topic that they had heard him address before, because he made it a point of preaching on it at least once a year, adding to it as he developed his thinking. It was at the core of his transformative work. His vision of the Beloved Community requires the transformation that happens to enemies when they are loved and forgiven. He preached, "The words of this text glitter in our eyes with a new urgency. Far from being the pious injunction of a utopian dreamer, this command is an absolute necessity for the survival of our civilization. Yes, it is love that will save our world and our civilization, love even for enemies." And that is hard, he said. Very hard. But Jesus wasn't playing, he said. And neither was Martin. That's likely why dragged himself out of his sickbed to preach on the importance of loving our enemies. Because Dr. King poured out his love, and his health and his very life in a 24/7 commitment to creating a world not only where the enemies of justice would no longer had the upper hand, but where they might become people who no longer despised, oppressed, exploited, or lynched others. This is what he meant by the Beloved Community. This image of Martin Luther King Jr., struggling with the challenge of illness and the call to preach, made me wonder what he might make of our COVID-soaked world today on the weekend of his 93rd birthday. What would he make of our fights over whether to vaccinate or wear masks to slow the spread of a killer virus? What would he make of the fact that racial injustice remains as deadly a problem as ever, or that it's one of the reasons why our democracy hangs in the balance? What would he make of the lives that are threatened over our polarizations? What would he preach? I think he would send us back to these words of Jesus: Love your enemies. And he'd remind us what Jesus meant by this: Do good to those who hate you, Bless those who curse you, Pray for those who abuse you. If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt....If anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Seventy years ago Martin Luther King offered the people of Dexter Ave Baptist, and us, some very practical suggestions for loving those enemies. We must start by looking at ourselves, he said, at our own participation in the creation of enemies, our own tendency to harm and to alienate. He said, "Somehow the 'isness' of our present nature is out of harmony with the eternal 'oughtness' that forever confronts us. And this simply means this: That within the best of us, there is some evil, and within the worst of us, there is some good. When we come to see this, we take a different attitude toward individuals." That helps us to see our enemy as a mixed bag - just like us. He said, "When you come to the point that you look in the face of every man and see deep down within him what religion calls "the image of God," you begin to love him in spite of. No matter what he does, you see God's image there. There is an element of goodness that he can never sluff off. Discover the element of good in your enemy. And as you seek to hate him, find the center of goodness and place your attention there and you will take a new attitude." Now remember that this was coming from someone who endured racial slurs, and violent attacks, fire hoses, death threats, jailing, a stabbing and a bombing of his home over his demands for civil rights for black people. Martin Luther King Jr. had enemies. And I'm not talking about where he stood on peace. Another way to love your enemy, he told the congregation at Dexter Avenue Baptist church, is that, "when the opportunity presents itself for you to defeat your enemy, that is the time which you must not do it." When you have that moment to get even, when faced with the choice to harm or keep someone from moving ahead in life, he said, that's when you choose not to do it. "That," Dr King said, "is the meaning of love. ... Love is creative, understanding goodwill for all... It is the refusal to defeat any individual. When you rise to the level of love, of its great beauty and power", he said, "you seek only to defeat evil systems. Individuals who happen to be caught up in that system, you love, but you seek to defeat the system." And that is what the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. lived and died doing - working to defeat those sinful systems that caught up people within them and made it so very difficult for them to love or to be loved. As I considered the preaching of Dr. King this week, alongside the words of Luke's gospel, the ideas of Bishop Desmond Tutu also surfaced for me. Because another word for the love of enemy is forgiveness - and there is no one who has witnessed more fully, painfully and effectively to the power of forgiveness than Bishop Desmond Tutu, who died three weeks ago today. In The Book of Forgiving, which Desmond Tutu wrote with his daughter, the Rev. Mpho Tutu, the bishop wrote: "Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound with chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness; that person will be our jailor. I recommend this book. It is powerful and practical, and honest. I recommend it to anyone who is either seeking to forgive someone or to be forgiven. The Book of Forgiving. And I have to say that of late, I'm not sure that I have it in me to rise to the level of Martin Luther King's agape love or of Desmond Tutu's forgiveness. I'm not sure I'm up to the task of loving those that I find myself diametrically opposed to, in fierce social and political combat with, in heart-breaking alienation from. I'm not a saint like Martin Luther King or Desmond Tutu. I can't, as the Gospel of Matthew suggests, Be perfect as my father is perfect. But I may be able to do what Luke suggests: To Be merciful as my father is merciful. I think, with God's help and with your help, I can create a space where I can grow and develop that ability to love and to forgive, a patient space to live inside of and to live out of. I can create a circle of mercy. Now Divine mercy is at the very core of God's relationship with Israel. It is what makes an undeserving and sinful people into a chosen people - mercy is the patient and gracious time and space that God gives people to repent, to live into the covenant, to grow in love. It is not a time of empty waiting on God's part, but an active time of calling, chastising, teaching, prophesying, lamenting and intervening. Mercy makes a space and opportunity for the undeserving to enter a place of loving relationship with God. "For he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked," says Luke. Having been both of those things in my life, I appreciate that about God. What if I were to create a circle of mercy out of which I might be able to love my enemy and forgive those who have hurt me? What do Martin Luther King, and Desmond Tutu and the author of Luke suggest I fill that circle of mercy with? I can start by filling it with prayer for my enemies, a desire at least for healed relationship. I can fill it with blessing for those I am in conflict with - that force of imagination that sees both me and my enemies as a mix of good and evil, all beloved of God despite our failings. I can make choices in my circle of mercy - the kind act, the held tongue, the stayed hand, the suppressed schadenfreude. In the Book of Forgiving, Desmond and Mpho Tutu suggest four practices that lead to the love of enemies that we call forgiveness. These include telling the story of the harm they have inflicted outloud to another; and naming the hurts that resulted; and granting forgiveness in its time, and ultimately deciding whether to renew the relationship or release it. Which is to say, that the patiently held space within the circle of mercy can be pretty full of things to do while we wait. It does not demand that we declare the love of our enemy before we actually have it, or forgive before we've named the harmed, or force a peace before there is peace. But it is a space where we ask God and one another to prepare for it, welcome the possibility of it. Perhaps we can honor the life, and the death and the resurrection of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. by committing to make within ourselves and our faith community such circles of mercy, to pray the "Prayer before the Prayer" as Desmond Tutu calls the prayer before one is able to forgive. So I'll leave us with the last stanza of his prayer by that name: "Is there a place where we can meet You and me? The place in the middle The no man's land Where we straddle the lines Where you are right, And I am right too, And both of us are wrong and wronged. Can we meet there? And look for the place where the path begins, The path that ends when we forgive?" Amen. Permission to podcast/stream music in this service obtained from One License with license #A-701187 and CCLI with license #21234241 and #21234234. All rights reserved.Video, photographs, and graphics by the Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields. Episcopal Church of St. Martin-in-the-Fields, 8000 St. Martin's Lane, Philadelphia, PA 19118. 215.247.7466. https://www.stmartinec.org

This week, we present an archival City Arts & Lectures program recorded in 2010 with the late Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his daughter, the Reverend Mpho Tutu, in conversation with Roy Eisenhardt. Nobel Peace Prize winner Desmond Tutu dedicated his life to fighting for basic civil and human rights for all. Born a teacher's son in South Africa, Tutu followed his father's path and taught for several years before studying theology.  From there, he became the first Black general secretary of the South African Council of Churches, and then the Archbishop of Cape Town.  In 1997, Nelson Mandela asked him to chair the Truth and Reconciliation Commission after the abolition of apartheid.   Archbishop Tutu presided over the ordination of his daughter Mpho Tutu into the Anglican priesthood in 2004.  This program, recorded at Davies Symphony Hall on March 17, 2010, was just after the publication of a book they wrote together, “Made for Goodness, And Why This Makes All the Difference”.   Desmond Tutu died on December 26, 2021, at the age of 90.

World leaders mourn the death of Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

We're feeling humbled and full of love this week as we chat to artist, speaker, writer and priest, Mpho Tutu van Furth.Mpho tells us about her experiences living under apartheid as a young girl and the freedom and justice that so many South Africans, including her family, fought for.We also hear about Mpho's journey into priesthood and how she reluctantly handed her license back to the church after their (unfortunately unsurprising) reaction to her ‘lovely can of worms' – AKA falling in love with a woman. Perhaps most importantly, Mpho reminds us how interconnected and interdependent we all are, and that showing a little bit of care can do a whole lot of good.Plus, Katherine and Paul reflect on some similarities they see between Mpho's apartheid memories and life in modern-day Palestine. Like the rest of us, Paul and Katherine jump on the football bandwagon, and Katherine officially joins the #FreeBritney movement. Links, resources and episode timestamps (for all you skippers out there) below.____ABOUT MPHO TUTU VAN FURTHThe Reverend Canon Mpho Tutu van Furth is an episcopal priest, an artist, an author, an accomplished public speaker and retreat facilitator. She has had many roles in non-profit leadership. She was the founding executive director of the Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation. She continues to work for environmental justice, human rights and equal access to opportunity for all people without regard to race, class or gender. With her wife, Marceline, she has established and is Executive Director of the Tutu Teach Foundation to enhance access to opportunity for women and girls. Ms. Tutu van Furth and her wife live in the Netherlands. They have four children and two (amazing) grandchildren.Website | Instagram | Facebook____LINKS AND RESOURCESWhy Longtime Britney Spears Fans Are Demanding to #FreeBritneyDid Rudiger try and bite Pogba?A history of Apartheid in South AfricaDomas: Carrying Apartheid's bookThe June 16 Soweto Youth UprisingSpace and power in South Africa: The township as a mechanism of controlThe Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy FoundationWhat does ubuntu really mean?Truth and Reconciliation Commission____00:00 - Welcome to Somewhere To Believe In00:48 - Katherine and Paul catch up00:00 - Katherine and Paul on Prospect Farm08:49 - Introducing Mpho Tutu van Furth09:52 - Mpho joins the conversation10:05 - Mpho on lockdown13:27 - Mpho on South African identity16:49 - Mpho on the living under apartheid23:33 - Mpho on privilege27:05 - Mpho on her journey to priesthood29:00 - Mpho on Marceline 33:58 - Mpho on church and her sexuality36:00 - Mpho on small acts of kindness38:00 - Mpho on personal spirituality 40:56 - Mpho on being loving43:47 - Mpho on ubuntu44:50 - Mpho on enjoying the journey47:18 - Mpho on forgiveness48:13 - Katherine and Paul reflect on the conversation with Mpho01:01:20 - Next week on the podcast 01:01:58 - How to get in touch with us 01:02:35 - Thank you's01:03:24 - Hidden track____A huge thanks to the Greenbelt Volunteer Talks Team for all their hard work on editing this episode. Our podcast music is ‘I Can Change' by Lee Bains III & The Glory Fires.____https://www.greenbelt.org.uk/#SomewhereToBelieveIn See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Choosing to Forgive your ExThe Book of Forgiving by Desmond and Mpho Tutu.  Archbishop Desmond Tutu writes:"Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound with chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness; that person will be our jailor. When we forgive the person who harmed us, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberators. We don't forgive to help the other person. We don't forgive for others. We forgive for ourselves. Forgiveness, in other words, is the best form of self-interest. This is true both spiritually and scientifically."Tutu says, “To forgive is also to release yourself from whatever trauma and hardship you have experienced and reclaim your life as your own.”  Eight Keys to Forgiveness (by Robert Enright)This essay has been adapted from 8 Keys to Forgiveness (W. W. Norton & Company, 2015)Below is an outline of the basic steps involved in following a path of forgiveness, adapted from  8 Keys to Forgiveness. 1. Know what forgiveness is and why it mattersForgiveness is about goodness, about extending mercy to those who've harmed us, even if they don't “deserve” it.  Forgiveness is a process with many steps.2. Become “forgivingly fit”To practice forgiveness, it helps if you have worked on positively changing your inner world by learning to be what I call “forgivingly fit.”  3. Address your inner painIt's important to figure out who has hurt you and how. This may seem obvious; but not every action that causes you suffering is unjust. For example, you don't need to forgive your child or your spouse for being imperfect, even if their imperfections are inconvenient for you.   4. Develop a forgiving mind through empathyScientists have studied what happens in the brain when we think about forgiving and have discovered that, when people successfully imagine forgiving someone , they show increased activity in the neural circuits responsible for empathy. 5. Find meaning in your sufferingWhen we suffer a great deal, it is important that we find meaning in what we have endured. Without seeing meaning, a person can lose a sense of purpose, which can lead to hopelessness and a despairing conclusion that there is no meaning to life itself. 6. When forgiveness is hard, call upon other strengthsForgiveness is always hard when we are dealing with deep injustices from others. I have known people who refuse to use the word forgiveness because it just makes them so angry. 7. Forgive yourselfMost of us tend to be harder on ourselves than we are on others and we struggle to love ourselves. If you are not feeling lovable because of actions you've taken, you may need to work on self-forgiveness Soften your heart toward yourself.8. Develop a forgiving heartWhen we overcome suffering, we gain a more mature understanding of what it means to be humble, courageous, and loving in the world.  If you shed bitterness and put love in its place, and then repeat this with many, many other people, you become freed to love more widely and deeply. 

Mpho Tutu Van Furth is a preacher, teacher, mother, writer, retreat facilitator, and an Episcopal priest. She is passionate about the flourishing of all people, especially women and the planet. That’s why Mpho propagates the Ubuntu philosophy. According to Mpho, Ubuntu is a fully embodied way of leadership. The essence of Ubuntu is to meet each human being as another human being with thoughts and ideas, and feelings and sensations. Ubuntu is a way of being in the world that recognizes the full humanity of each of us. “If you conceptualize leadership as power over people, Ubuntu doesn’t have a place in that conceptualization. If you conceptualize leadership as power with people, it completely changes the way you operate, even as a leader.” Mpho is the daughter of anti-apartheid activists Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Leah Tutu. She has written two books with her father, Made for Goodness and The Book of Forgiving. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Mpho has seen that there are four steps to healing: telling your story, conveying your hurt, asking for and granting forgiveness, and reconciliation or release of the relationship. Forgiveness is not easy; it can seem like an impossible task. According to Mpho, only through walking this fourfold path, we free ourselves from the endless cycle of pain and retribution. ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ → Here's what you will learn: ● What the true meaning of Ubuntu is ● The link between Ubuntu and authenticity ● The difference between leadership as power with people and as power over people ● The role of forgiveness in leadership ● The four steps to genuine forgiveness ● How to speak up with goal and purpose and how to actively listen ● What privilege is and how to relinquish it ● The difference between spiritual values and practices and how reevaluating them can make you a better leader ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ ✔ PRE-ORDER THE NEW FEMALE LEADER BOOK: bit.ly/38C9dIP ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ ➤ SUBSCRIBE TO OUR CHANNEL www.youtube.com/channel/UCIocJbUS…ub_confirmation=1 ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ ➤ JOIN OUR MOVEMENT Website: www.newfemaleleaders.org Instagram: www.instagram.com/new.female.leaders LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/newfemaleleaders

In this final episode of exploring The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu, Candice talks about what it means to forgive oneself, seek forgiveness from others, and how forgiveness can transform the world.

Welcome to our fifth week together in this Lenten season. This quote has been on my mind: “The reasons for forgiving ourselves are the same as for forgiving others. It is how we become free of the past. It is how we heal and grow. It is how we make meaning out of our suffering, restore our self-esteem, and tell a new story of who we are. If forgiving others leads to an external peace, forgiving ourselves leads to an internal peace.” Desmond and Mpho Tutu, The Book of Forgiving Let us look at those closest to us- the ones that can hurt us the most- close family and friends.

This week we explore the third step of the four-fold path to healing - "Granting Forgiveness" - as we continue our look at The Book of Forgiveness by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu.

This segment explores the first three chapters of The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu. It is the first of six podcasts that will explore forgiveness.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ― Buddha Hola Muchachxs! Welcome to our THOTful Moment this week! We are covering a subject that J & Lesly are EXTREMELY PASSIONATE about... MEDITATION! We talk about how we both got into meditating, how Jon Kabat-Zinn's book Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life inspired Lesly and how Thich Nhat Hanh's work impacted J's life, talk about different styles of meditation and what meditation style works for us, how meditation has improved our lives and how it's made us better people! A special thank you to Buddhism for showing us how to stop stressing over the small stuff and laying down the foundation for our spiritual journey. This was a really fun episode because meditation is our SH*T and we hope we inspired you to give it a shot. It doesn't have to be difficult, you just have to give it a try. BTW - We started a new thing on the podcast where we share something with our audience that is relevant to the episode. It can be a podcast, tv show, music, book or anything! It was inspired by the lovely ladies of the podcast "Thanks 4 Your Concern." We call it our DOUBLE FEATURE because there's two of us and we wanna featur some sh*t. ☺ Our Double Feature for this episode is: The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu and the Black ZEN Podcast hosted by Stacey & Jasmine! So check them out ASAP!! Chào nhé !! —————————————————— FOLLOW US on INSTAGRAM @HomoInTraining SHOW US some LOVE on Facebook! LIKE & FOLLOW our page! Email us know your thots and feelings on meditation: HomoInTrainingPodcast@gmail.com —————————————————— Mediation Youtube Links: Eckhart Tolle - A Special Meditation - Deepening Into the Dimension of Stillness, Global Well Being - Calming a Disturbed Mind ♡ The Dalai Lama Teaching Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness & Calm Abiding, Plum Village - Sitting and Walking in the Here and Now | Dharma Talk by Thich Nhat Hanh, and Cafe Music BGM Channel - #GhibliJazz #CafeMusic - Relaxing Jazz & Bossa Nova Music - Studio Ghibli Cover —————————————————— Audio Credit: Kanye West - Sway In The Morning Neil deGrasse Tyson reading Carl Sagan's "Pale Blue Dot" Music Credit: Purple Planet - Time to Dream —————————————————— --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/homointraining/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/homointraining/support

There is a natural human tendency to judge, criticize, blame, and shame people who cause harm. In the world right now there are a lot of harms coming into the light. Individually and collectively we are at a choice point: Will we retaliate or reconnect? In The Book of Forgiving Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu teach us that we can choose forgiveness instead of retaliation; we can choose to heal instead of harm. In this book, the authors provide you with activities to bring forgiveness into your heart and life. At the end of chapter 1 on page 29 they assign the activity called “Carrying the Stone.” Essentially you carry a palm-sized stone in your non-dominant hand for an entire morning about six hours! Don’t set it down for any reason during this time. Then they provide you with some questions for reflection: What did you notice about carrying the stone? Did it hinder any of your activities? Was it ever useful? In what ways was carrying the stone like carrying an unforgiven hurt? Finally, make a list of the people you need to forgive in your life and make another list of all those you would like to have forgive you. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/csl-whiterock/message

A conversation from WAY back at the beginning of pandemic and lockdown with world renown spiritual teacher, Kyle Gray. We goof off a lot, but when am I not just kikiing with the girls.  Connect with Kyle's work at KyleGray.co.uk, and across social media @KyleGrayUK. If you like the show become a supporting partner on Patreon. And thanks to our sponsor, Q Christian Fellowship. Join Q Christian Fellowship for their first-ever Virtual Conference happening January 7-10, 2021. Featuring Keynote speakers THE Fr. Richard Rohr, Activist theologian and writer Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza, womanist and Black theology icon, Dr. Emilie Townes, and Rev. Mpho Tutu van Furth, and more, you'll have the opportunity to hear from and connect with LGBTQ+ Christians and allies from all over the world. Conference is an annual gathering where hundreds of LGBTQ+ Christians and Allies gather for worship, fellowship, workshops, Affinity Gatherings, and experience the fullness of God's love and affirmation through each other. More than a Conference–we're catalyzing a movement. Virtual All Access registration is just $65, making this the most accessible Conference ever. Visit qcfconf.org to learn more and sign up today! USE OFFERCODE TINYREV10 to get $10 off registration! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/tinyrevolution/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kit and I go back a few years, when her then-husband became a Patreon supporter, and then connected me with his wife who was an editor and ghost writer. She suggested I publish on my own. I said UR CRAZY. But she was right. And she's also begun a journey of her own, which we get into on the pod.  She's the host of Unchurchable, a podcast for folks who don't say a heck yes but a hell no to church. lol.  Connect with her across socials @KitMKennedy, and her website. KitKennedy.com And if you like the show and wanna support it more, please go to my Patreon and learn how to sign up now!  SHOUT OUT TO OUR SPONSORS! Q Christian Fellowship!  Join Q Christian Fellowship for their first-ever Virtual Conference happening January 7-10, 2021. Featuring Keynote speakers THE Fr. Richard Rohr, Activist theologian and writer Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza, womanist and Black theology icon, Dr. Emilie Townes, and Rev. Mpho Tutu van Furth, and more, you'll have the opportunity to hear from and connect with LGBTQ+ Christians and allies from all over the world. Conference is an annual gathering where hundreds of LGBTQ+ Christians and Allies gather for worship, fellowship, workshops, Affinity Gatherings, and experience the fullness of God's love and affirmation through each other. More than a Conference–we're catalyzing a movement. Virtual All Access registration is just $65, making this the most accessible Conference ever. And if you use code TINYREV10, you'll get $10 off your registration, so literally half of what you spent on that Amazon order yesterday. Visit qcfconf.org to learn more and sign up today! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/tinyrevolution/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Luke Wilson is a PhD candidate in Toronto and he went to LIBERTY UNIVERSITY. The unhappiest place on earth, especially if you are a queer.  Me and Luke get into the dirt of going to Liberty, and ask what it takes for us to truly understand who we are, break free, and move on from toxic beliefs. Follow Luke across social media @LukeSlamDunkWilson on Insta, and @wilson_FW on twitter. And if you like the show, become a sustaining partner on Patreon.  And a HUGE thank you to this week's sponsor, Q Christian Fellowship! Join Q Christian Fellowship for their first-ever Virtual Conference happening January 7-10, 2021. Featuring Keynote speakers THE Fr. Richard Rohr, Activist theologian and writer Dr. Robyn Henderson-Espinoza, womanist and Black theology icon, Dr. Emilie Townes, and Rev. Mpho Tutu van Furth, and more, you'll have the opportunity to hear from and connect with LGBTQ+ Christians and allies from all over the world. Conference is an annual gathering where hundreds of LGBTQ+ Christians and Allies gather for worship, fellowship, workshops, Affinity Gatherings, and experience the fullness of God's love and affirmation through each other. More than a Conference–we're catalyzing a movement. Virtual All Access registration is just $65, making this the most accessible Conference ever. Visit qcfconf.org to learn more and sign up today! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/tinyrevolution/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us for highlights of our service as we continue looking at Black History Month. This week's sermon was given by Judith Carpenter, with readings from Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu and Rev. Mpho Tutu van Furth; and Luke 10: 25-37. For the duration of the church closure, services will be pre-recorded and premiered via YouTube every Sunday at 18:30 BST. For more information, subscribe to our YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UC_TVGBCDMu54HkK-2rRFCIA/featured This is a podcast from Northern Lights MCC. To find out more, visit our website www.northernlightsmcc.org.uk

With her father Desmond Tutu, today's guest co-authored 'The Book of Forgiving'. She talks about the power of forgiveness in a culture obsessed with vengeance, whilst giving me some insights into her lifelong walk with God. Want to support this podcast? Here's a fun way to do that: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pilgrimpitstop

These past few weeks have been... tough. The continued killings of innocent Black people and the pilings of Black bodies due to structural racism and hate have left Chech, LD, and myself angry and heartbroken.We knew we couldn't trust any person for this episode. But we know we could trust Mpho Tutu, a priest and the daughter of Archibishop Desmond Tutu. On this week's show, you'll hear, Reverend Mpho Tutu discuss:Growing up in apartheid South Africa;The facts and myths of the Forgiveness and Reconciliation process;And how to achieve Racial Reconciliation in America Also on this episode, Reverend Tutu will discuss her newest work in a book called, The Book of Queer Prophets, and the relationship between queerness and religion. 

Krista Marshall brings "The Book of Forgiveness" by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu to the podcast and chats with Donna to continue the Summer Book Club series. They talk about trauma experiences, including experiencing an earthquake and emotional wounding, and how this book has helped them with the process of forgiving. They also discuss four practical steps and hands-on exercises to help us extend empathy to others and embrace healing for ourselves. http://media.blubrry.com/faithstrongtoday/p/fst.mc.tritondigital.com/GROW_ON_THE_GO_P/media/GOTG-S03E43_july23-19.mp3

On the surface, forgiveness seems like such a simple concept but it can be one of the most difficult things we ever do. Maybe someone in your life has hurt you and you've never been able to forgive them. Maybe you've hurt someone else and they haven't forgiven you. Maybe it's time to see if that can change. Mpho Tutu van Furth joins us to talk about a book she co-wrote with her father Desmond Tutu. It's called The Book of Forgiving. It's an invitation and a step-by-step guide to walk what the Tutu's call the four-fold path of forgiveness. Mpho recently visited Brigham Young University to speak at the Maxwell Institute's symposium, “Forgiveness & Reconciliation.” The Institute's own Dr. Deidre Green was the visionary of this truly remarkable gathering. If you missed it, you can watch several of the presentations on the Institute's YouTube channel. About the Guest Mpho Tutu van Furth served as executive director at The Desmond & Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation from 2011 to 2016. With her father, Desmond Tutu (former archbishop of South Africa, chairman of the Truth and Reconciliation Committee, and Nobel Peace Prize Recipient), she co-authored The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World (HarperCollins, 2015). In 2014, the father and daughter pair started the Tutu Global Forgiveness Challenge, an internet resource that guides people through the steps of forgiveness. The post Forgiveness, with Mpho Tutu van Furth [MIPodcast #81] appeared first on Neal A. Maxwell Institute | BYU.

On the surface, forgiveness seems like such a simple concept but it can be one of the most difficult things we ever do. Maybe someone in your life has hurt you and you’ve never been able to forgive them. Maybe you’ve hurt someone else and they haven’t forgiven you. Maybe it’s time to see if […] The post Forgiveness, with Mpho Tutu van Furth [MIPodcast #81] appeared first on Neal A. Maxwell Institute | BYU.

In this podcast recorded on Mothers Day 2018, Collins Durueke explores the two central truths about forgiveness.  There is nothing that cannot be forgiven and there is no one undeserving of forgiveness. This series continues drawing on the Book of Forgiveness 2014 by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and his Ordained daughter, Mpho Tutu. 

AUCKLAND WRITERS FESTIVAL 2017 For many women 2016 registered as an annus horribilis, one which made it clear that the battle for sexual equality – in political and sporting circles notably – is anything but won. Writers and advocates Michele A’Court, Roxane Gay and Mpho Tutu van Furth suggest courses of required action. Susie Ferguson in the chair.

The Festival gala once again showcases the story-telling chops of eight writers who deliver a seven-minute true story, propless and scriptless, inspired by the theme “The Heart of the Matter”. Flexing their muscles are: Gina Cole (NZ); Glenn Colquhoun (NZ); Ivan Coyote (Canada), Anne Enright (Ireland); Lloyd Geering (NZ); James Shapiro (USA); Ian Rankin (Scotland); and Mpho Tutu van Furth (South Africa). Supported by New Zealand Listener AUCKLAND WRITERS FESTIVAL 2017

The singer Annie Lennox praised The Book of Forgiving for its “groundbreaking insights as to how we resolve our lifelong burdens”. Mpho Tutu van Furth who co-authored the book with her father, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, is no stranger to heavy loads: her father was a leading opponent of apartheid in South Africa, and she herself was forced to relinquish the Anglican priesthood over her same-sex marriage. Tutu van Furth has also co-authored a biography of her father, Tutu, and the book Made for Goodness: And Why This Makes All the Difference. She discusses her life and the place of forgiveness with Marianne Elliott. AUCKLAND WRITERS FESTIVAL 2017

If you've ever wanted to move from shame or blame to freedom, then do we have the book of forgiving show for you. Today I'll be talking with Reverend Mpho Tutu Van Furth, daughter of Archbishop Desmond tutu, a Nobel prize winner and a peace-loving leader in the anti-apartheid movement in South Africa.  She's the co-author, along with her father, of one of the single-most important books I've ever read, the book of Forgiving. And that's just what I want to talk with her about today. About the fourfold path for healing ourselves, and our world. That plus we'll talk about choosing the next right thin, fine arts and electrical engineering, kitchen-table ministry, a laptop romance, and what it means to be a prince in high heels! The Power of Forgiveness – Self-Improvement and Self-Help Topics Include What was it like growing up in Apartheid? What was her moment of greatest clarity, back in Soweto during the memorial of the Soweto uprising? What it means to have connectedness to everyone What her mother and father, Archbishop Desmond Tutu have in a gift of welcoming others. How did she get involved in the church? What's a laptop love-affair? What it means to choose the most loving thing to do? What are the basic tenets of forgiveness? What is the fourfold path for forgiveness. Why do you need to forgive? What are the consequences in the global community and personal lives of a refusal to forgive. What are daily practices of forgiveness? How South Africa had to practice forgiveness to move past Apartheid. What is the cycle of revenge and the cycle of forgiveness. What is conditional vs. unconditional forgiveness Is forgiveness weakness or strength What does it mean forgiveness is the most loving thing you can do? What's the importance of anger? How do we use anger as a teacher? What's the importance of self-forgiveness? How do we forgive ourselves? To find out more visit: http://www.humanjourney.com/forgiveness/ Reverend Mpho Tutu Van Furth, Daughter of Nobel Prize Winner Archbishop Desmond Tutu on The Power of Forgiveness! + Guided Meditation! Health | Inspiration | Motivation | Spiritual | Spirituality | Inspirational | Motivational | Self-Improvement | Self-Help | Inspire For More Info Visit: www.InspireNationShow.com

It’s easy to say, but harder to do. In 2015, Mpho Tutu told us: “forgiveness is a practice”. Join three authors for an intimate and personal exploration of the legacy … The post Ideas in Focus // Forgiveness is a Practice appeared first on Ubud Writers & Readers Festival.

In his first UK broadcast interview the Syrian Catholic priest captured by IS, Father Jacques Mourad, talks to Sima Kotecha about his ordeal and the circumstances of his release. One of the largest surveys of UK Sikh's was published this week. Its authors argue the results will lead to a shake-up of the Government's approach to the needs of British Sikhs. Dr Opinderjit Kaur Takhar talks about its findings. The daughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Mpho Tutu van Furth, talks to Rev Charlotte Bannister-Parker about giving up her priest's license in order to marry her female partner and why she thinks it's time that the Anglican Church took a different view on same-sex marriage. As the world reflects on the life and impact of Fidel Castro, Austen Ivereigh talks to Sima Kotecha about his complex relationship with religion. A camera designed for astrophysics research has helped to bring 150 thousand Birmingham Muslims together for morning prayers. Dr Shahid Merali, the man behind the innovative project, explains why. Last year 824,300 people attended Cathedral Advent services - the highest for a decade. This Advent Sunday Hazel Southam reports on why more and more people are attracted to Cathedral. Segregation along racial lines is still a major issue in UK Pentecostal churches. An event bringing black and white churches together happened this weekend and Trevor Barnes went along to meet Dr Joe Aldred and Dr Andrew Davies and find out why things might be starting to change. Producers: Catherine Earlam Dan Tierney Series Producer: Amanda Hancox.

With Special Guest Shawne Duperonof Project ForgiveHow does the mother whose husband and daughter were gunned down by terrorists forgive the men that slaughtered them? How do the parents whose teenagers were killed by a drunk driver embrace the person whose selfish act robbed them of their children? And how do we forgive the multitude of wrongs and slights that we will inevitably face throughout our lives? Julie Ann's ConsciousSHIFT guest Reverend Mpho Tutu answers these questions with us - drawing from The Book of Forgiving: The Four-Fold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World - which she wrote along with her father, Nobel Peace Prize Winner Desmond Tutu.Using real examples from their own lives and those of others around the globe, the Tutus share very personally: Desmond Tutu writing about the pain of witnessing his father’s verbal and physical abuse towards his mother as a young boy; and Mpho Tutu sharingabout the trauma of finding her housekeeper, Angela, brutally murdered in her home.No one is better placed to offer guidance and hope in a turbulent world than the former Archbishop of Cape Town. Archbishop Desmond Tutu received world-wide recognition (and the Nobel Peace Prize) for the moral and spiritual leadership he gave in opposition to South Africa’s apartheid regime. Then in the post-apartheid era, President Nelson Mandela asked him to Chair the Truth and Reconciliation Commission which helped South Africa address the crimes committed during that era without bitter recrimination.The Tutus distill those lessons and thesequence of forgiveness into The Four-Fold Path:* the importance of telling the story, * naming the hurt, * granting forgiveness, and * choosing to either renew or release the relationship that caused you pain. Mpho also will share what forgiveness is not: forgiveness is not weakness, it is not a subversion of justice and it is not forgetting what happened. And it is not easy.She also will challenge the notion that the act of forgiveness is a sign of weakness or a lofty goal only the saintly can achieve. Instead, she and her father offer scientific proof that by pardoning others we help to heal ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. Join Julie Ann and Mpho, as Mpho shares powerful stories,practices, prayers and journaling that give us the space and time – be it days, weeks, months or even years – to arrive at the place where we can forgive others, seek forgiveness or forgive ourselves.

Episode 3 - In this episode, Ms Tutu talks about bringing the whole self into the 'mediation room' whether disputant or mediator and how recognising the humanity of 'the other' is key to resolving conflict.

Episode 2 - The Reverend Mpho A. Tutu, an Episcopal priest, is the founder and Executive Director of the Tutu Institute for Prayer & Pilgrimage. http://www.tutuinstitute.org Ms. Tutu is an experienced preacher, teacher, and retreat facilitator. With her father, Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, she has authored “Made for Goodness” (Harper One, March 2010). The Reverend Mpho Tutu is the Chairperson Emeritus of the board of the Global AIDS Alliance, Chairperson of the Board of Advisors of the 911 Unity Walk, and a Trustee of Angola University.

Weekly JourneywithJesus.net postings, read by Daniel B. Clendenin. Essay: *"Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews:" The Feast of Christ the King* for Sunday, 21 November 2010; book review: *Made for Goodness, And Why This Makes All the Difference* by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu (2010); film review: *Ajami* (2009, West Bank, Palestinian and Israeli); poem review: *Credo* by Daniel Berrigan.