CrabDiving Radio Podcast

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Petty dictator Trump whined about being called chicken. Fox drunkard Jeanine Pirro was named the DC prosecutor by our felonious rapist-in-chief. Apartheid Elmo, aka Elon, leaves the White House after pillaging the government for data. A spaceship built by Herr Musk spun out of control because it's a day ending "y."  Friend of the late diddler Jeffrey Epstein, Trump blathered nonsense about a golden dome and Canada. Folks from overseas aren't coming here anymore. Trumpkin podcaster Joe Rogan gave it up for Jesus on his stupid podcast. A Democrat congressperson might win the governorship in Virginia. A MAGAT bought a not-so-special edition watch with an obvious defect for his wife. Canoers in Kissimmee suffered a deadly attack by a gator.

Trump ambushed South Africa's President with lies and unrelated photos. Diaper Don's attempt to block foreign student enrollment from Harvard was thwarted by a judge. Sith Lord of Chase, Jamie Dimon blathered the obvious about Trump's tariffs. In further obvious news, a columnist from USA said the Felon-in-Chief has been in mental decline. The CrabDiving Podcast have been screaming about Trump's broken brain for years, but who is counting? White House transcripts have disappeared. Anti-gun activist and one of the 5 DNC chairs, David Hogg said the Dems need a leader who fights and gives a damn. The orange rapist in The White House hosted a party with crap food for dolts who bought tons of his worthless crypto. GOP orcs threatened to kill the filibuster. Spreader SCOTUS Amy Coney Barrett voted like a human when she blocked the diddling Catholics' charter schools from tax payer dollars.

Butthurt Musk will not be giving money to campaigns for a while. Democratic legislator Gerry Connolly passed away with no one to replace him. Israel can't take out Iran's nukes without America's weapons of war. Speaking of Iran, former Fox load Pete Hegseth held a Christian/ Nazi prayer service at the Pentagon. Rightwing meathead Joe Rogan was bumped from the top of Youtube's podcast chart. McDonald's sold less crap as of late because the economy is tanking. Ninny loon Jack Hibbs suggested the founding fathers meant to ban Catholics from serving in the government. Supposedly, President Rape-Face is stressed about upcoming loan payments. The wording in a recent police-buffer law was a score for the side of good. Pat explained cypto and derivatives while Shelby barked. Finally, Elmo cried like a big apartheid nepo-baby because he's a sad little beyotch.

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Wednesday!

Of course Republicans lied about not cutting Medicaid. A witness in the Diddy trial is missing. Newark Airport is a cluster "f." Fox News admitted Shitler took an "L" in the trade war with China. MAGAT Loomer dissed Trump's corrupt deal with Qatar for the big tacky plane. Melania rarely visits The White House. Podcaster Hasan Piker was illegally detained at the airport and interrogated by fascist border agents. Cokey Smurf, AKA Don Jr., has made bank off his Dad's presidency. The poorest states in the union are the most unhealthy. Anti-trans actor John Cleese suggested stringing up The Donald. Infamously crooked televangelist Jim Bakker continues to shamelessly beg for cash.

Trump makes the US more of a global villian by spying on Greenland. The Nazis in The White House promised to slash Medicaid. The newly elected Canadian PM visited Pennsylvania avenue and moderately stood up to Shitler but not really. India lobbed missiles at Pakistan. The dictator-in-diapers pitted Little Marco and fascist Vance against each other in a 2028 match-up. Anti-Semitic hag Laura Loomer convinced President Tiny Hands to drop his Surgeon General nominee. MAGAT influencers were upset because a Repub Senator suggested migrants should get due process before deportation. The Young Turks, who did their part to put Donald Trump back in the White House, have collaborated on a project with vile fascist Marjorie Taylor Greene. Speaking of monster Greene, Democratic Rep Jasmine Crockett used Mama Nazi to demonstrate the crappiness of the Trump administration during a hearing. The press continued to gobble up White House propaganda which suggests Donald Trump will leave after his term is up.

Texas GOP idiots want to ban non-existent furry litterboxes in schools. Planes have been falling out of the sky at Newark Airport because MAGA! Shitler ended programs to reduce sudden infant death syndrome. Sith Lord Marjorie Taylor Greene and blotch Nazi Bannon complained about the felon POTUS conducting foreign wars. Demon Greene's former hubby was sued and forced to publicly apologize for harassing Muslim women in a mall parking lot. Texans voted out a conservative school board for banning books. Empty headed Michelle Bachman blathered Dems have a dictatorship mentality. FBI Czar Kash Patel has been partying at nightclubs and not showing up to work. Feeble-minded Anaconda star Jon Voight has a Trump-endorsed plan to save Hollywood. The pile of hyena squirt known as Brian Kemp announced a run for Georgia senate. Sandy Hook conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and the hate-caster with the worst haircut Nick Fuentes shared time on a podcast caterwauling.

The DOGE creeps want all of our private data. The "Trump effect" caused conservatives to lose bigly in Australia. Man-baby's tariffs have left some store shelves empty and have started to knee-cap the economy. Supreme Ketanji Brown Jackson shamed Shitler for his attacks on judges. My Pillow Czar Mike Lindell has been selling sheets from the White House front yard. Crappy Florida GOP legislators and Governor Pudding Fingers couldn't pass a budget for Florida. The James Webb telescope found a planet covered in water inhabited by the most wee shrimp. A great white lived to feast another day, because of the efforts of a father and son. Jesus has nothing on savior Tim Frieden who sacrificed his own body to create a universal snake bite anti-venom.

Cuss and laugh along with CtabDiving radio podcast Tuesday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Monday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday.

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Tuesday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!  

Wannabe dictator Trump is basically saying "Let them eat cake" as tariffs rip our economy a new one! Russian State T.V. celebrated Shitler ruining the trust the world had in U.S. economy. The security detail for Secretary of State Rubio brawled in Brussels. Man-baby wants a big military parade on his birthday and surely the second string former FOX morning news host, our current Sec Def, will oblige. The oligarchs of the U.S. will ultimately regret selling us out. The Hands-off protests took place all over America including the Crab's hometown, Pensacola. The Dodgers, the current MLB champs, kissed the ring of Shitler at the White House while the orange fascist mumbled mouth garbage. Yet another right wing, Repub was indicted on child sexual abuse charges. A judge appointed by the POTUS most famous for working with an actual primate, waddled over to the correct side of history. Maybe the judge's orders will be followed by the Trump Administration, but most likely not!

Trump is destroying the world economy, with global markets diving because of his ridiculous tariffs. Even mega-turd Ben Shapiro said the tariffs are probably unconstitutional and based on backward logic regarding trade deficits. AOC trounces Chuck Schumer in a new poll about a possible primary matchup. Looks like the the felon-in-chief is listening to loony Laura Loomer again. Trump is losing support of the libertarians due to his insane warmongering and attacks on free speech. Babbling conspiracy theorist Russell Brand caught some UK sexual assault charges from four different victims. Among today's "Not A Migrant Or Drag Queen" sex criminals were a charged South Carolina pastor and a sentenced former North Dakota Republican state senator.

Elon failed to buy Wisconsin and we know how Trump feels about losers. Shitler announced a wave of upcoming tariffs, which hurt Americans bigly. Under the guise of taking time off to help his dying electric car company Tesla, Elmo was essentially fired from DOGE. Man-baby blathered something about cheating but had to eat his word after the win for good in Wisconsin. Blotch Nazi Bannon blathered over calls for Trump's impeachment after the loss in Wisconsin. Right wing comic Joe Rogan cried about being labeled conservative. Boebert E. Lee, who, per her gig at the Whitehouse, is investigating the Kennedy assassination, got Roger and Oliver Stone mixed up. The courts in Alabama said their A.G. can't persecute or prosecute women fleeing the authoritarian state for abortions. Anti-Semitic loser and vapid right wing podcaster Stew Peters who said scientists who developed vaccines should be rounded up, called for a "final solution."

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Trump's morons included a journalist in a chat about secret attack plans where the worst VP tossed shade at the worst POTUS.  Fascist AG Pam Bondi ordered Jasmine Rep Crockett to be nice to Elmo. AOC and Bernie have been ticking off the Tesla Czar. Man-baby blathered complaints about his portrait in Colorado. Oligarch of commerce Howard Lutnick caterwauled only fraudsters would miss social security checks. Thug Duterte appeared before the Hague and will probably rot there. 23 and Me will be sold at a discount to the CEO who tanked it. A Canadian resisted U.S. tariffs with a song.

Trump's monstrous ICE thugs are committing crimes against humanity. Apartheid Elmo was almost briefed on secret China war plans. Shitler received low marks for his crappy economy. A loser GOP Rep was righteously booed for defending DOGE orcs. Senator Bernie Sanders criticized the sloth-like POTUS for suing the media. A radio star across the pond ripped human cosplayer J.D. Vance for referring to the UK as a "random country that hasn't fought a war in 30 or 40 years." Democratic Governor Pritzker said the orange one traded lifesaving equipment during the pandemic for praise during TV interviews. The wife of Governor Pudding Fingers announced a run for the governorship of Florida but she won't be endorsed by Trump. AOC and Bernie headlined an event against oligarchy. The Crabs reviewed the lessons from Thomas Paine's Common Sense.

Conspiracy nuts are whining over the total dud JFK files. Author and Senator Schumer got calls to resign from fellow Democrats. Former Infowars Czar Alex Jones called out Trump for being a "poop addict." Vapid GOP demon Tucker Carlson blathered there was only one human who could save the Repubs. Lunatic conservatives in Minnesota presented a bill that would make what they call "Trump derangement syndrome" a mental illness," and then one of the loons, GOP state senator Justin Eichorn, got arrested for soliciting a minor. The people of Serbia have come together to oust their corrupt government. Disgraced, former NSA Mike Flynn got another gig with the Trump Administration. My Pillow thought leader Mike Lindell got in trouble for running a sham charity.

MAGA made the world hate the USA and destroyed our allies' trust in us. Racist orc Trumpkin Tom Homan blathered drivel about ignoring judges and laws. A French legislator ripped the U.S. a new one and demanded we return the Statue of Liberty. House Democrats yelled at the Repubs for shielding Elmo from testifying about the imminent dismantling of social security. Useless minority Senate leader Schumer canceled a book tour. The pop group Semisonic condemned the White House of the use of their song Closing Time. The astronauts stuck in the space station finally made it back to Earth. Turncoat Gavin Newsom can eat rocks according to most libs. Creep Elon stopped shipping his ugly Cyber Trucks since they're falling apart like his rockets. Sloth-like POTUS Trump caterwauled  lies about Biden's pardons for the January 6th committee. The Crabs reviewed the recent Florida Man Games which incorporated alligators and other unsurprising elements.

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Wednesday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Monday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Trump's vile State of the Union address was just another MAGA hate rally. Heroic Democratic Representative Al Green was the only legislator from the left who literally stood up to Shitler during the address. Little Marco Rubio, the saddest Secretary of State ever, sunk into the furniture during Trump and Vance's infamous oval meltdown over Zelensky. Brother of the late Rob Ford, Doug, vowed to fight hard against America in the trade war started by man-baby. SCOTUS told the Trump administration they had to pay USAID contractors because of the Constitution. GOP lawmakers were ordered to stop town halls due to the righteous protests. A German tattoo artist has been wrongly detained by ICE fascists for months. Astronauts prepare to leave the space station and return to earth via an Elon made aircraft. The artist formerly known as Kanye West wore a tee featuring a swastika. Oligarch Elmo lied when he said his DOGE minions were working for free.

Protests are growing against the illegal actions of the corrupt Trump administration. Human cosplayer J.D. Vance took his family skiing but was met with righteous protestors. Shitler hates America evidenced by the tariff war he's about to unleash. The Nazi orcs of DOGE want to kill social security. Sith load Elon Musk told MAGAT comic Joe Rogan he's not a Nazi. The Crabs talked about the Oscars for a few minutes. Worm brained RFK Jr. changed decided the measles vaccine was a good thing. In other Health and Human Services news, the department's top spokesperson quit because he couldn't stand Cheryl Hines' husband. Tooty Rudy Giuliani was able to keep his NYC apartment despite a massive judgement. The Pope is on the way out. Legendary actor Gene Hackman's death is still a mystery. A venomous snake from Ecuador hitched a ride in a box of bananas and made it to the Republic of New Hampshire. A brothel operation was busted and the perps' names were pun perfect.

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!  

The authoritarian Trump regime is picking which journalists can cover them. Oligarch megaload Jeff Bezos did his part to turn the Washington Post into fascist, Trump-loving toilet paper. Goose-stepping Elmo's business empire was seeded with 38 billion bucks of government money. The Tesla's Czar's stepsister ended up marrying their dad.  President Musk might have to open up Tesla's books to the government since Uncle Sam is a related party. In Idaho, brown shirts dressed in black with no identification violently assaulted and then dragged a woman out of town hall. A white nationalist blathered the Civil Rights Act needs to be repealed to protect her "white spaces." With many syllables, globe-a-phobe rightwing loon Kandiss Taylor announced a run for Congress.  The Crabs reviewed comedian Joe Rogan's fellation of chainsaw wielding perv Elon.

The Trump administration is rushing to rehire federal workers they out they need. Troll Kash Patel and other directed the FBI employees to ignore Elon's demand to justify their jobs. Elmo's "romantic" texts to one of his baby mama's were revealed in court. A fake video of Shitler kissing Elon's fascist toes was circulated at HUD. The Pope is about to expire. Democratic strategist James Carville predicts Man-baby's administration will topple in a month. Brazil's Trump Jair Bolsonaro may go to jail. Human cosplayer Vivek Ramaswamy announced he's running for the governor of Ohio. Because it's a day ending in "y," a House Republican was booed by fired federal workers in a townhall. MAGATS in two states were arrested for impersonating ICE Agents. A professor from Vanderbilt warned of a another coronavirus outbreak.

Republican voters are entering the "find out" stage. Of course, Trump lied when he said he wasn't going to meet with BFF Putin. The New York Post reminded Shitler the Czar of Russia was a dictator. Angry GOP constituents in Georgia ripped U.S. Representative Rich McCormick a new one over his subservience to man-baby.  Feckless Transportation Secretary was booed in Cali. Trudeau took a verbal swipe at Diaper Don after Canada beat the U.S. in a hockey game. Evangelical loon Joel Webbon blathered Christians need absolute power. Representative Robert Garcia mocked the ketamine addict known as Elon in a funny way. The crackly voiced head of Health and Human Services stopped flu shot ads and a canceled a vaccination conference. According to the new Michael Wolfe book, Melania hates Donald bigly.  A prominent prophet explained how he was wrong about something.

Check out Wednesday's CrabDiving radio podcast! Trump called himself king while blathering about ending New York City's congestion pricing. Shitler also caterwauled “He who saves his Country violates no Law." Putin and Shitler want to carve up Ukraine. Diaper Don's approval ranting tanks because the economy sucks. Conservative VIP load Matt Schlapp was accused of groping a dude at a bar. Americans hate Nazi Elon Musk and Zuckerberg. Brazil charged fascist Bolsonaro with leading a plot to overthrow their country. Evil ICE isn't deporting undocumented people at the levels promised by Shitler. The Crabs discussed lunatic Mel Gibson's sequel to Passion of the Christ. Misogynist Christians have been mean to tongue-talker Paula White. MAGA fanatic Jon Voight dropped another creepy video where he squirted over Elmo.

"No Kings On Presidents Day" protests send a huge "FU" to Trump. Tesla Czar Elon Musk blathered the 60 Minutes team should be jailed. Shitler has a plan to squeeze Ukraine for cash. House prices in DC plummeted due to DOGE firing federal employees. A plane ended upside down after a crash in Toronto. Another polar vortex is on the way. Some of the recently released January 6th "tourists" are back in court for other creepy crimes. The Crabs reviewed winners of the BAFTA Awards. Pope Francis is sick despite his close relationship with JEEBUS. Greece has been contending with a continuous earthquake and Alaska braces for a volcanic eruption. "No Kings on Presidents Day" protesters - 2025 Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Monday!

USA is plummeting on the world corruption index as Trump's crooks wreak havoc. Nazi J.D. Vance blathered a bunch of fascist mouth garbage at the Munich Conference. Elmo posted a bunch of classified data online. The Crabs learned about Christian con artists known as intercessors. Blotchy Bannon warned Shitler of the dangers of going after Medicaid. Boebert E. Lee and Kid Rock may have hooked up. The existence of DOGE was challenged in the courts. Shark attacks in the U.S. was on the rise. Monkeys in Sri Lanka took out the power.

Felon Trump and President Musk are eager to start a Constitutional crisis to compensate for their wee Nazi-nads. The Philadelphia Eagles beat the team from Kansas City and Tom Brady, clad in a $700,000 watch, was a chatty dullard during the Superbowl. With stunning choreography, the King of Hip Hop Kendrick Lamar delivered a stellar halftime game show making political and fashion statements. The American rapper and Pulitzer Prize winner reminded football fans Drake is a diddler. Shitler's greedy weasel attorneys changed the terms of their lawsuit against CBS 60 Minutes. Electric vehicle sales are rising but Tesla sales are dropping faster than man-baby's approval ratings. Jesus continues to disappoint as Texas confirmed a measles outbreak among school-aged children.

DOGE's odious young squad of tech bros are knuckle deep into the mechanisms of government and not in a fun or legal way. The DOGE staffer let go for a racist social media post was rehired. Allies of tech load Elon Musk accidently sent an email campaign supporting the DOGE government takeover to a federal judge involved in lawsuits against the fake institution. Kanye continued his epic descent into lunacy defending diddler Diddy. Ye also blathered anti-Semitism and declared dominion over his wife. VIP Jesus-bot Paula White slithered back into the White House for Trump Part Deux. Man-baby revoked Biden's security clearance out of pettiness. The orange one wants to sit at the head of the Kennedy Center board. A whistle blower spoke out about SpaceX's lack of security with U.S. nuclear secrets.  

Greedy Republican bro-ligarchs will turn America into Russia as Musk leads the way to the unravelling of the federal government. Perpetually concerned Senator Susan Collins is "concerned" about Musk's rummaging through the United States' coffers. Democrats, the rest of the world, and a couple of Republicans all agree Trump's desire to take over Gaza and turn it into a resort is ridiculous and insane. Don't worry about the recent airplane crash-y incidents, everyone, for crazy Elon is now also tasked with upgrading our aviation system. In some rare, less-crap news, right-wing strongman leaders in Europe may be losing their grips. The new DNC dude better have some great ideas to take on this GOP authoritarian BS. Lara Trump proves "Anything Is Possible" by getting a show on the FOX network of misinformation and lies. In Churchill, Manitoba, Canada, residents leave their cars unlocked so anyone can hop in to avoid getting mauled by one of their resident polar bears.

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Monday!

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Trump's disapproval rating is already skyrocketing as Diaper Rash tucked his sack between his ample thighs and rescinded the stupid federal hiring freeze. President Rapist named an owner of an Australian Basketball team as the New Zealand and Samoa Ambassador. Former Democratic Senator Bob Menendez was sentenced to eleven years in prison for taking gold bars from the Egyptian government for favors. Protesting the creepiest Kennedy's nomination for HHS Director, former Ambassador Caroline Kennedy declared cousin RFK a predator. Shitler pulled General Milley's security detail out of spite. Evangelical caterwauler Shane Vaughn blathered celebrated the Trump administration's firing of DOJ lawyers employed by Jack Smith. White supremacist load Nick Fuentes said stuff about Commander in Chief Creamsicle that might have been negative. No big deal but Kamala beat Trump in 2024. Credit the orange stain's win to voter suppression.

Felon Trump's flurry of unconstitutional executive orders. China released a more affordable A.I. and the tech bros crapped their smart-Pampers. Brazil and Columbia shamed Shitler for the manor in which their citizens were deported. We learned about Anderson Clayton, the young democratic strategist from North Carolina delivering wins. Poland called on all humans to boycott Tesla over statements made by Tickle-Me-Nazi-Elmo. White supremacist hip hop artist, actor and former comic Roseanne Barr blathered a pitch for a new comedy "Saving America." The spawn of what should have of been a load to the khakis, son of Tucker Carlson, landed a job in Trump's dictatorship.

UK staffers used to cry laughing at Trump's call with their PM. Shitler the Nazi wants to 86 FEMA. Trumpkin Caitlyn Jenner catches much deserved flack for her support of President Diaper Rash. Fascist mouthpiece for man-baby, Caroline Leavitt, lied about a massive pile of debt. The Anti-Defamation League condemned anti-Semitic fecal freak Elon Musk for his Nazi salute. Reddit users are over Elmo's platform, formerly known as Twitter. The Handmaid's Tale inspired Trump administration will assign faith directors for each cabinet position. Evangelical squirt pile Kat Kerr blathered about crap load of texts she's received from the Trumps. Nazis, AKA Christian Nationalists, misuse history to support their loony backwoods rightwing agenda, duh. An Indonesian influencer had his private parts bitten by a snake not named Don Jr.

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Wednesday!

Cue GOP squeals, as Biden declared the equal rights amendment the law of the land. There was a TikTok ban. A Space X rocket accidentally exploded causing planes to be rerouted. Shitler's dumb inauguration was moved indoors for the weather, maybe. Country singer and Trumpkin bootlicker Billy Ray Cyrus will perform at Diaper Don's coronation. The ousted GOP intel chair in the house is so angry pants over his firing dude won't vote with Repubs. Crappy POTUS elect named has been actors as it's emissary to Hollywood. Turkey-bod Musk admitted he paid for his high score in that video game. Faux-hawk freak Vivek Ramaswamy will run for the governorship of Ohio and won't be part of DOGE. A lunatic evangelical blathered Christians need to a have a stomach for war. Food banks have stocked up because Trump's back in The White House. MAGAT-caster Elijah Schaffer caterwauled people of color aren't Americans. Charlie Kirk and some other load not worth naming said the orange wanker was God's greatest blessing, puke. Fecal star Rosanne Barr was featured in a racist, pro Trump "music" video.

Loonies think space lasers and DEI caused the L.A. fires. A judged cleared the release of Jack Smith's report. A RWNJ blathered non-white immigrants need to feel discomfort. The pizza-gate gunman, the shoulders on which "Q", was shot dead by piggies. Blotch Nazi Bannon caterwauled Facebook Czar Mark  tech-wad Zuckerberg could no longer be trusted the several shirted Nazi enthusiast also pledged to go Medieval on money-grubbing Trumpkin Elon Musk. Furthermore, Elmo certainly paid for his elite ranking on a popular video game and was surely high on ketamine when he crapped all the over the idea of a lunar landing.  Sexual assaulter and Defense Secretary nominee Pete Hegseth was over paid for the drivel he spewed for FOX's Saturday morning d-squad. Wang-holster for Shitler, Peter Theil penned a dumb op-ed for the Financial Times no one should have to read.

North Carolina Republicans are literally trying to steal an election because it's a day ending in "y." SCOTUS will force TikTok to sell. Biden deployed the National Guard to fight wildfires. There's a class action against PayPal's online discount finder Honey. Anti-Semitic director and Lethal Weapon actor Mel Gibson blathered about his sequel to Passion of the Christ on Joe Rogan's dumb podcast. Evangelical dandy Kent Christmas caterwauled god will take vengence upon President Biden for awarding the Medal of Freedom to philanthropist George Soros. Pillow Czar and Trumpkin Mike Lindell was ordered to cough up the five million he owes to the person who proved his election fraud evidence wrong.  Years ago, a cosmetics oligarch got in Shitler's about Greenland. In Texas, feral hogs are terrorizing rural towns and we don't mean the politicians.

The orange lunatic will send us to war against NATO. During a speech from gaudy Mara Lago where the soon to be felon-in-chief blathered he'd seize Greenland and the Panama Canal, Trump's adobe like face seemed stroke-struck. His make-up looked like crap too. Could the sexual predator in Dream Sickle foundation actually change it to the Gulf of America? Deviant Don's coked-up kid caterwauled Greenland wanted to be liberated from Denmark. Los Angeles is fighting the most apocalyptic fires ever. The creepier Elmo is supposedly the GOT of Diablo but he probably paid a gamer to do it for him. Europe and Canada are over the Tesla Czar and Bernie Sanders tore Elon a new one over foreign worker visas. Former congressperson Matt Gaetz, who had sex with and underage female according to a witness cited in the ethics report, wants to be the Governor of Florida. Another former GOP legislator, George Santos, who illegally profited from fundraising campaigns for sick dogs, claimed he needed more time to pay restitution even though he's making bank on Cameo. Tooty Rudy Giuliani complained a courtroom sketch artist made him look like a dog.

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Monday!