Has your overstuffed life left you with an undernourished soul? In the Giving Up Normal podcast, host Jen Howat sits down with you and has candid conversations about the "normal" things in our lives that are hurting our souls. Not only will you be encouraged but Jen will coach you through the proces…
This is the final episode of the Women in Ministry United Podcast. If you have skipped over the last few episodes you are probably thinking, "What in the world???" I apologize if it feels sudden. I debated long and hard how long I could or should keep going and how much runway I should give us as this part of the journey comes to an end. Sometimes a long goodbye isn't the best thing and what's awesome is this isn't goodbye, it's a new beginning. In this final episode of the Women in Ministry United Podcast, I share with you ways you can get resources and stay connected as well as some details about the new Margin Maker podcast. If you want to make sure you stay up to date on all that is happening in the community as well as launch details for the Margin Maker podcast and other community events make sure to sign up below. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram Book A Discovery Call
“Good is the enemy of great. And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great.” -Jim Collins What a powerful quote. And I know this to be true in my own experience. I try to hold on and do everything. I don't want to let go of good things that are valuable and serving people. But sometimes have to let go of good in order to open our hands to receive the new thing God is calling us to. Last week, I shared with you the difficult decision to quit something good, something I love, in order to make room for something great. If you haven't already listened to that episode, you can HERE. *SPOILER ALERT...I have been invited by God to launch a new podcast and I've said yes to that new thing...which means I am bringing this show to an end. When I first started to sense this I came up with every reason in the world why I should keep the WMU podcast going and just do both projects. And in today's episode I share with you the fears, lies, and limiting beliefs that I've been wresting with because I believe when it comes time for YOU to surrender something good to God, you will come up with all sorts of reasons why you can't. Some of My Reasons There were Good things happening… I have a wonderful growing community who downloads and listens to the podcast week after week. I've received emails, texts, DM's on FB and Instagram sharing how particular episodes have encouraged and helped you. Fears, Lies, Limiting Beliefs Will stopping hurt my credibility? What if people who are listening to this podcast don't switch over to the new one? You'll be seen as not committed. This could hurt your reputation. People may no longer turn to you for support. You'll disappoint people. More thoughts... You have people that would still listen to this podcast. What if you miss out on an opportunity because you stop? You could still put out good content. It's not that hard. This is still good. And more thoughts... Just do both. Do both. In fact, if you do both, imagine what people will think! They'll be amazed at how much you can do! Look at how much value you could give to people. You could double your impact! You could give more support. Just do both. They both can be good. It's hard to surrender things to God…the roles, responsibilities, the hopes, the outcomes, our thinking, what makes sense to us…surrender is hard because we have to give up our illusion of control. We almost feel weak for doing it. But that's when God's strength shines brightest. When we are willing to give up our relevancy, our perceived value, our title, our credentials, (our current podcast), even our past…and as the apostle Paul says, look forward to what lies ahead…pressing on to reach the end of the race we will experience the joy of our faith and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus is calling us. Make sure to listen to the entire episode and join me next week (and beyond) into something new!
I'm sure you've heard the saying that the good can become the enemy of the best and I have found that to be true. Maybe you have too. I find it especially to be true as God is inviting me to something new. Sometimes I find that in order for me to take a hold of something new, I need to let go of another thing. And that's hard. I want to be able to do it all. But I have learned over the years that when I try and do more I become less… I become less like Jesus…less patient, less wise, less compassionate, less loving. I spend less time with God and more time doing. I become less effective and more stressed and strained by the demands and expectations. Sometimes we have to choose to stop the good so we can take hold of what is better. This is where I find myself today. In this episode I share with you a decision I've made to give up what's good and it impacts you, the listeners of the Women in Ministry United Podcast.
Do you keep track of the things God is saying and revealing to you? What verses of scripture just keep coming up? What words, phrases, or concepts rise to the surface? What dreams has He planted? What types of invitations has He given to you? Finding a way to record our spiritual insights helps us grow in intimacy with Jesus. But our growth doesn't stop there. Sharing our insights with others helps us grow in community and is a way that God often speaks to others. My pastor always said, "God comes to people through people." How many times has someone shared what God is teaching them and you've thought to yourself...I've been thinking of that same thing! That is a common way that God works and speaks! In today's episode of the podcast, I am sharing spiritual insights that God has been teaching me over the last year. You may find that God speaks directly to you through what He is teaching me. Here's a brief list of what I share: I reap what I sow. If I don't like what I'm reaping, I need to change what I'm sowing. I've viewing God through my problems and circumstances rather than viewing my problems and circumstances through the lens of God and His power. I've been disappointed with God and that's ok. He welcomes the honesty and the wrestling. I've been invited to do life and ministry with Him one day at a time. (This is an invitation that God gave me several years ago but I've struggled. I want live fully into each day and not worry about tomorrow.) Honor God in all things. "Whatever you do in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." (Colossians 3:17) Don't despise the small beginnings. (Zechariah 4:10) Fix your thoughts on what really matters...things of eternal significance. Pay attention to the condition of the soil of your heart to receive the seeds God is giving. We can't control the what seeds He gives, when He gives them, or how He makes them grow...but we are responsible for the condition of our hearts so that when He does plant and water them, it's into a healthy heart and soul. Love myself the way God loves me. Be careful and pay attention to what I tell myself. Talk to myself the way God would talk to me. At all times God is with us and for us! He is good. His love never ends. What resonates with you? I'd love for you to let me know as we encourage one another. (You can drop me a note HERE.) No matter what time of year it is, it is important to remember what has God been teaching you. This not only helps you grow in your relationship with Him but as you share what He is saying and doing, it helps others grow too. (Do you have a way to keep track of the spiritual insights He is giving you? You could make a quick list, create a prayer journal, even highlight the verse and put the date next to it with a short thought. There are many ways to hold on to the treasure He gives!)
In today's show I am interviewing my friend Jill McCormick as we talk about grace for the try-hard girl, especially when we sense we are in a season of change. Anyone feel like a try-hard girl? You know, the one who loves Jesus and her people so she tries hard to get it all done, to not disappoint, to do everything well, to always be there, to help fix the problems and right the wrongs? That try-hard girl lives in me and I don't know about you but the idea of living in the freedom of God's grace is something I desperately need. And I believe you will find so many things you can personally relate to and take away from my conversation with Jill that will fill your soul with grace. Some Things We Covered Who is the try-hard girl? Understanding how we can extend grace to ourselves. Accepting we are human beings, not productivity machines. Why it is so hard to admit that something needs to change? Ideas about how to create space to be with Jesus in the midst of the chaos. How false beliefs and a distortion of the truth of who God is and what He says has reinforced the "try-harder" within us. The biggest shift to be aware of as we become a little less of the try-hard girl. Resources Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan Steffany Gretzinger's song, “Come out of Hiding” and Pete Scazzero's books, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality & Emotionally Healthy Leader. About Jill McCormick Jill McCormick is the host of the Grace In Real Life podcast and the writer behind jillemccormick.com, spaces where she shares common-sense grace with the try-hard girl who wants her faith to intersect with her real and full life. Jill lives in South Texas with her high-school-sweetheart-now-husband Ryan, their two daughters, and one Vizsla puppy. Most days you'll find her with a book about the Enneagram in her hand or a podcast playing in her earbuds. She's been featured in RELEVANT magazine, Joyful Life magazine, ForEveryMom.com, and the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast. She's also a co-author of the book, Sister, Walk in Truth. In her free time, she edits words for others through Emerald Editing + Copywriting, and is the Communications Director for her church. Connect with Jill Website GraceInRealLifePodcast.com Instagram Subscribe to Jill's weekly “the good + the grace” email Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram
Are you running from one thing to the next? Has the pace of life and ministry become unsustainable? It is so easy to constantly be on the go, to always be "on" and available and many pastors and ministry leaders are feeling the impact. Maybe you do too. Maybe you know that you are running yourself into the ground. You are keenly aware that you can't keep it up much longer. It's not a question of loving God or even loving what you do...it's a matter of the relentless pace in which you are doing it. You can be unrelenting in your love for Jesus, your commitment to sharing the gospel and serving your ministry organization without a relentless pace. You probably know that deep inside. You know that you were not meant to go like the energizer bunny. You were not designed to keep your foot on the gas and keep going no matter what. That's what gets celebrated in our culture...it's what is valued and praised...it is even what gets promoted in the church as a caring, Jesus-loving, committed leader. But, you weren't meant for constant activity and commitments, even good and Godly ones. So what do you do? How do you fix it? What's the cure for an unsustainable pace? The answer is simple but not easy. If you want to solve the problem of an unsustainable pace, the solution is to have a sustainable one. That's right...If you want a sustainable pace in ministry, you need to create a sustainable pace in ministry. Now, if you're like me you think, well, duh. That's a no brainer, except, is it? For whatever reason we somehow just want the pace to slow down without doing anything differently. We desperately want the pace to change, but we aren't willing to change the pace. In this episode I share a few key things to ask yourself as you prime the pump and get ready for changing the pace. What is your philosophy and theology of a sustainable pace to ministry? What is sustainable for you? What is God calling you to this season? What relationships matter most? A sustainable pace to life and ministry is so important. It will make it more likely for you to continue as a healthy leader for the long haul, living out your calling in your particular context. It helps you be present both physically and emotionally to those around you and it is critical in order for us to become more and more like Jesus. Let's not just talk about a sustainable pace, let's make it a reality! Ready to take the next step? Join me for the next Margin Maker workshop. This 4-week workshop will help you create the margin you need for a sustainable pace. CLICK HERE to get on the waitlist. You will receive an email in a few weeks when registration begins. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram
Are you praying but God is silent? Are you listening but don't hear a thing? Are you searching, seeking, leaning in and just can't seem to find God at all? You are not alone. I'm right there with you. And in this episode I'm going to share with you some of the things I'm learning along the journey. What is this place? Sometimes this is referred to as what St. John of the Cross called the dark night of the soul, the place where beginners are being led to a place of growth and maturity. God is intentionally taking us from a sweet place in order for us to commune more deeply with Him. St. John of the Cross likens it to a mother who weans a nursing child intentionally so that they can feed on something more substantial. As St. John of the Cross looked at this process (he was a Spanish mystic from the 1500's, Carmelite monk, a follower of Teresa of Avila) he explained that it was necessary for the soul to go through a purging process in order that the person may be brought into what he called, Divine union of the soul with God. The dark night is an intentional process designed to reveal spiritual imperfections to cleanse us from the things deeply rooted in us that are taking the place of God. Pete Scazzero refers to this process as journeying through the wall. He also believes that this process is a necessary way that God grows us into mature Jesus followers. And as God brings us to the wall, a place where we are going through difficult things and we can't seem to find Him, God is stripping us of all the things that keep us from Him. Here's What I'm Learning I lack patience with myself to grow. I lack patience with God and the ability to wait for Him and what He wants to bring, give, do, when He wants to do it. I pursue the sense, the feelings, feelings of spiritual things, rather than just God. This hard season: Is exposing my limited and self-centered perspective. (Underneath the surface there is something that is self serving, self gratifying) Is revealing the things I'm holding on to or striving for or searching for that aren't God. Even godly things can't be a substitute for God himself. Comes from the love of God and His desire to grow us. He is preparing us for the day when Jesus comes again. God wants us to experience the joy of my salvation. (Philippians 1) Is forming and shaping me so that I would develop Christ-like character and so that I would lack nothing. Is showing me that struggling and suffering are a part of our life with Christ. It's necessary. Reminds me that God is doing something good in me. God knows what's best for me. Resources Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross Pete Scazzero: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, The Emotionally Healthy Church, The Emotionally Healthy Leader. Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Website full of courses, books, a great podcast and an emotionally healthy leadership live online event coming up in early December. You can check it all out HERE!! The Ascent of Truth by Thomas Merton
When I started talking about feeling far from God a few weeks ago, I had no idea how much that would resonate with so many of you. You have shared that you too feel like you are unable to connect with God. You feel like He is distant. It's confusing, it's frustrating, even disappointing...and it feels lonely. There are many reasons why we experience a season feeling far from God. Last week in episode 114 we talked about being in a spiritual rut and some things we can do to connect with God in a meaningful way. If you haven't listened yet you can check it out HERE. What should you do when you find yourself struggling to hear from God? There are many things that can keep us from hearing from God. Spiritual and emotional fatigue and exhaustion can play a factor. Busyness and constant work in ministry and other activities in life can impact our ability to hear. Our own sin and desires of the flesh, our worries, fears...they all can play a part. While it is hard to give an exhaustive list or a quick step guide to hear from Him instantly, there are some questions we can ask ourselves to see the bigger picture and gain spiritual perspective. If you feel like you are not hearing from God here are some things to consider. Are you listening? Are you in the word...consistently? Have you forgotten your first love? Is your relationship with God put on the back burner as you attend to everyone and everything else? Do you say a bunch of stuff and then get up and move on. (I know I do!) Do you expect God to answer at that moment. Are you watching and listening throughout the day? Are you distracted? What's going on around you? What's going on inside of you? Are you in the right posture? Are you receptive, expectant, hopeful? Are you convinced of His love, His control, His goodness, and His ability? Are you looking to glorify and honor God? Are you looking for something from God or are you looking for God? There is a difference. What is your mind focused on? What are you meditating on? Truth? Are your thoughts set up against the truth of Christ? Have you slowed down? Have you created space and margin? God often shows up there! Are you having the right conversation? Is this the conversation God wants to have with you? Perhaps there is something else that needs to be discussed before moving on to your concerns. It could be directly tied to helping you sort out what He's saying about the particular situation on your mind or it could be entirely different. Is this what matters most? Are you limiting your perspective on how God wants to speak? Could God be talking to you in a different way? Are you only looking for Him to speak in one specific way or are you open to Him coming in an unexpected way? Is God speaking to you through people? Through your circumstances? If you are feeling far from God and are struggling to hear God remember, this is normal. It is a normal part of our relationship with God. And it comes from a place of love. God uses this time as He does of all things, for your good... to bring you closer to Him...to trust Him, cling to Him, rely on Him and Him alone. Your Next Step If you are sensing that you need to attend to your soul and your relationship with God but not sure what your next step might be, let's connect for a call over Zoom. You can sign up HERE and pick the time that works best for you!
O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; My whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. Can you relate to these words written by David in Psalm 63? Do you feel like you are searching for God? Maybe you can feel the dryness of your soul and you know it is impacting your life and leadership. Maybe you are worn out. The journey has depleted you, it's made you tired and even though you search for God you can't seem to connect with Him. He feels distant and you feel lost. We all go through times when we feel less connected to God and there can be a variety of reasons for it. Maybe you feel stuck as you seek to grow in intimacy with God. Nothing you're doing right now makes you feel like you are growing closer to Him. Maybe you are not able to hear Him because you are distracted or not stopping to listen. Or maybe you have hit what Pete Scazzero calls, "the wall" and you are in a deeper place of distress because of God's silence and perceived absence. All of these things are a normal part of life with God and the good news is that when we find ourselves in these places, it is because God loves us and wants us to be even more intimately connected and dependent on Him. Today we are going to talk about being in a spiritual rut and I will share some tips that may help you. The reason why this is so important is that the state of our soul directly impacts our life and ministry. The condition of our soul affects every part of our life...all of it. And if we don't attend to our inner life with God and try different ways to connect with God when we are feeling thirsty for Him, we could be setting ourselves up for depletion and burnout. Our relationship with God is the strength that carries us through all of life and it is our relationship with God and His strength that allows us to serve in the place He has called us to. Our doing for Him comes directly out of our intimacy and meaningful connection with Him. Too many of us feel like David...parched, searching, weary, longing for God AND we don't do anything different. We keep doing the same things expecting, hoping for a different result. While you can't fix it (God is the fixer of things) you can explore with God and try some things to put you in a place that helps you be open to God and what He is doing. If you feel dry, if you feel like you just aren't able to connect, you may be in a spiritual rut. You may need to reposition yourself (maybe literally in a different place) and do some things with God a little differently. Some of the thoughts I'm sharing are things that I rediscovered as I recently read a book by Gary Thomas called “Sacred Pathways: Nine Ways to Connect With God" and I wanted to make sure to acknowledge his work. Here are some tips to help you explore different ways that you can connect and love God. PRAY. God, I'm not connecting. I'm not feeling like I'm connecting. Help me. Take me beyond my feelings. Pray the words of Psalm 63. Go back to your Gethsemane. You may know the garden of Gethsemane as the scene of the agony and arrest of Jesus and therefore it is a place of great mental or spiritual suffering. That's what I always think of when I hear Gethsemane. While this is true, there is something that Gary Thomas pointed out in his book Spiritual Pathways that I had missed. Jesus went out and made his way as usual to the Mount of Olives. (Luke 22:39) John 18 says, Jesus crossed the Kidron Valley with his disciples and entered a grove of olive trees. Judas the betrayer, knew this place, because Jesus had often gone there with his disciples. Jesus went back to a place that was familiar. It was a place that He had often visited. Do you have a place? Do you have a place you like to meet with God? Where is it? Where do you feel drawn to Him? Go back if you can and if you can't get to that particular place, go back to the type of place. Discover how you connect with God in this season. God doesn't change, His love doesn't change, but how we connect with Him can and often does. We tend to narrow our approach from our past experience or what others tell us we should be doing. Consider your wonderful, unique design and imagine how that might help you connect with God. Explore what you and God can do together as you worship, pray, read the scripture, and listen. Learn from others. This is another way to explore. Not because you want to copy someone else. Not because you are looking for the right way. But sometimes it's helpful to get ideas. Again, our thinking is so narrow...we never even consider connecting with God in certain ways, it just hasn't crossed our mind, it wasn't on our radar. As we listen to others we can be inspired by God to lean in to Him in different ways. And we may find encouragement in hearing stories about how others have also found themselves in a dry and weary land. Experiment. You are not going to know until you try. You may be surprised. You can't fail. You will learn something about you and something about God. Be a good steward of your life for the long haul. Spiritual replenishment, soul care, self care are all intertwined and absolutely necessary in order to develop Christ-like character and glorify God in whatever you. Too many people are not speaking up for themselves and creating the rhythms and boundaries necessary to do what God has called them to do for the long haul. Burnout is real. In fact, God wants to connect with you because you matter to Him apart from what you do! Connect with Jen If God is revealing to you that you need to attend to your soul and journey with Him to be a healthier leader but you just don't know where to start, let's connect. Let's have a discovery call and figure out your next step. You can schedule one HERE. Whatever you do, whether or not you want to hang out together, don't keep doing the same thing hoping for a different result. Lean into God and what He is trying to do in you.
Do you feel far from God? Is it hard to hear Him? Do you struggle to see the ways He is working around you? When we feel far from God it plays a role in our soul health. And when we feel depleted, worried, even alone, it impacts the way we relate to God and others. In this episode, I'm sharing a call that I recently had with a group of women taking the Margin Maker Workshop. We just completed the first session, "Getting Ready for Change" where we asked the question, "How's your soul?" In this conversation we talked about how we might be feeling and what assurances we can take with us on the journey to wholeness in our relationship with God and margin in life and ministry. Scriptures Referenced Isaiah 53:6 Psalm 25:8 Psalm 23 If you'd like to join me for our next Margin Maker Workshop in a few months, you can get on the waitlist HERE. Or, if you're not quite sure what your next step should be but you know you need to make a change, let's have a discovery call. This is a free call that you can book with me HERE.
You are loved by God. Not because you are in ministry. Not because you said yes to leadership. Not because you are compassionate. It is not because of anything you have ever done or will ever do. It is because of who God is. As the song Jireh, says: You have never been more loved than you are right now. God loved you and chose you because it gave Him great pleasure to do it! Many of us struggle to anchor ourselves fully in the complete love of God. We worry about disappointing Him. We want to make Him so glad that He chose us. He does choose you and He would do it over and over again because He is love. And His love and acceptance has nothing to do with your ministry. If you struggle with the idea that you are loved by God apart from ministry, this episode is for you. Scriptures Referenced Ephesians 1:4-5 Ephesians 2:1-6 Romans 5:8 Romans 7:22 Isaiah 30:15-18 (verse 18 in the Amplified Version) Isaiah 43:4
Are you feeling marginalized as a woman in ministry? Is your contribution and leadership not valued? Are your ideas ignored? This is a common challenge that many women face, even in denominations and churches that say they welcome women in ministry. If you haven't experienced this, I'm thankful and I would encourage you to listen to this episode because I am willing to guarantee there is someone you know who has, even if they are in a denomination or church that embraces an egalitarian model of ministry. Boundaries are intricately tied to the challenges of being a woman in ministry. If we aren't careful we over extend ourselves. We will try to prove them wrong if they question our leadership. We will over compensate and do more. We won't stop because we are afraid that we'll be judged or we won't be seen. And we can spend endless amounts of time and energy trying to fight and make our case for why we belong in ministry. We can spend an exuberant amount of time and energy trying to figure out what we should do to change other people's perspectives and fix the situation in our own context and in the church at large. It is exhausting. It requires boundaries to not personally take responsibility to fix or change someone else. It requires boundaries to practice self-differentiation and not internalize what other people think. So what can you do? What should you do? Here's what we cover in this episode: Bring awareness to the situation. Give input and offer suggestions. Do what you were called to do the best you can. Discern which battle is yours to fight. Be confident in who God created and called you to be. Connect with Jen If you need support creating boundaries but not sure where to start, join Jen for a Discovery Call. Sign up HERE.
Are you spending time on things that are working in ministry or are you building structures, programs and paradigms that simply just don't work anymore? This is a question that continues to come up in conversations with pastors and leaders around the country. We are all feeling the loss of community. We are grieving what church once was or what we hoped it would be. People have drifted away. Others remain on the sidelines. The programs we did and the way we did them don't seem as effective. Some of these shifts are temporary but many of these trends may be here to stay. The church has changed. The truth is, it was changing before COVID and now the pandemic has accelerated trends that were already unfolding. And it has become incredibly difficult. Our tendency is to try and figure out how to get people to come back. How do we fill the room again? How do we get people back to what used to be? It's exhausting. It's painful. Because of our own fatigue we are defaulting to what we knew, what worked or sort of worked before. And it is running us ragged. We strategize and plan and promote activities and opportunities that we think will appeal and draw in those who have not come back...or we decide that we are going to go back to pre-covid church and count on things eventually getting back to normal. And if you can identify with this struggle you are not alone. This is the reality, the struggle in almost every single church, especially in the western world. It's new territory and it's difficult, overwhelming. We can get stuck trying to solve a problem that may not be solvable...therefore chasing trends and building models that no longer effectively share Jesus and spread the Kingdom of God. Here's the good news...the Spirit is still at work. God is on the move. He isn't finished. What the enemy meant for evil, God uses for good. There are churches where transformation and miracles are happening. Lives are being changed...God's will is being done on earth as it is in heaven...and it's not because of buildings or programs or events to attract...it's not by the power or might of the people...it's by the Spirit. You may see a crisis. But today I am going to invite you to see the opportunity. In this episode, I share with you some shifts that working in ministry. These things are opening up opportunities for the Spirit to move in the present and they are relieving pastors and leaders from the unreasonable expectation and burden of fixing the church. Here's what we cover: 6 Things That Are Working Today in Ministry Building relationships with whoever shows up. Staying in the moment. Establishing connections however people are opened to them. Supporting meaningful communities outside the church. Looking at spiritual growth rather than the numbers. Wanting something FOR your people rather than FROM them. Check out today's episode as we unpack what's working today in ministry! Give yourself permission to stop chasing trends and numbers of people and let God and His vision and desire for you and your church in this moment, be enough. The Spirit is still at work. God is on the move. He isn't finished yet. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram
There is so much going on in our lives, in our communities, and in our hearts. Our lives are full…full of overwhelm, full of responsibility, and full of worry. Today we are going to trade in our overwhelm for thankfulness by doing the 5 for 5 Challenge. All you have to do is write down 5 things for 5 days (and it will only take you about 5 minutes!) 5 for 5 Challenge Each day write down these 5 things: Something you can celebrate. Something that made you laugh or smile. A way God loved you or you experienced His grace. A person you are thankful for in your life. A ministry win. This easy exercise will shift your mindset and help you see the ways God is working in you and around you. As you are able to shift your perspective it will relieve the burden, give you room and space, and help you experience Christ's joy, peace and power. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram
Do you have everything you need for ministry? Many of us feel like we don't have everything we need in order to do ministry. We often think, if we just had: more tools more programs, people attending more engagement more resources more education and training more time more energy more ideas more help ...then we would be able to make some progress! What if I told you that you have everything that you need? That's right, everything is available to you in order for you to share Jesus and build the Kingdom. Would you believe me? If you are feeling discouraged, if you feel like you just don't have enough, then this episode is for you! Scripture from Ephesians 1:15-23 Ever since I first heard of your strong faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for God's people everywhere, I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God's power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram
Are you busy in ministry? Is it ok to be busy in ministry? I will admit that there was a time when I didn't think it was ok to be busy and I'm now rethinking this idea. I think it depends on what we mean when we say “busy.” Here are some definitions of busy: activity or fully engaged or occupied Crowded with or characterized by much activity Constant at work, diligent; active. My friend Amber doesn't use the word busy. She substitutes the word busy with productive. For her, busyness means a time of increased productivity. So, if we think about those definitions and concepts of busy there is really nothing wrong with being fully engaged, productive, diligent, and active. Jesus was all of those things. He was active in the work God gave Him. He was focused. There isn't anything wrong with having seasons where there is a lot to do. Even seasons where you might have to make adjustments for the short term because of a particular event or season in the life of the church. But here's the thing, that's not what I think most of us are talking about when we say we are busy in ministry. Busy is not productive. Our busyness is counterproductive because we just have too much activity. When we talk about busy we usually mean that we're in a place where it is hard to get it all done, in fact, maybe we aren't getting it all done. Things that need to happen are going by the wayside. When we talk about being busy we don't mean we are simply occupied, we actually mean we are preoccupied. We are concerned with something else, we are distracted. When we say we are busy, we are saying that there is so much going on that we are sacrificing the most important in the name of trying to get it all done. And our busyness is unending. One season of busy runs into the next until it is a blurred mess. So, is it ok to be busy in ministry? I think it depends on how we define it. Sometimes God will call us to seasons that are full and there will be lots of things going on. And yes, there may even be seasons where your typical rhythms are off a bit for a little while. But we need to remember that God won't call us to stay in those seasons and exceed our limits. He won't ask us to sacrifice our health, our relationship with Him, our families in the name of being productive for Him. Busy is ok when we are doing the things God has called us to do and staying connected to the power of the Spirit, guarding hearts and our time so that busyness doesn't just keep on going. If you are distracted, if you are going too hard and fast, struggling to connect with your spouse, not fully present with the people in your life, irritated, not spending time with God, unable to focus, exhausted...this is the kind of busy that isn't healthy and it's time to make some adjustments. A great strategy is to sit with God and ask, God…where are the busy seasons coming up in the months and weeks ahead and when should I create margin before moving on to the next things? This is one of the questions in the brand new Margin Maker Planner. Grab your copy on Amazon today!
"Margin is the space between our load and our limits." -Dr. Swenson We all need margin. We were built for it. We need margin from things like being in change, constant activity, overwork, noise, running around, the news, and social media. We also need margin set aside for things like rest, relationships, play, silence, God, eating uninterrupted, processing our feelings, and moving our bodies. We want margin but sometimes we struggle to make it a reality in life. Here are some reasons why. 4 Mistakes Ministry Leaders Make When Creating Margin They don't have a vision. They know they can't keep doing it the same way but they don't know what they want and if you don't know the target, you'll miss it every time. They rarely evaluate. They rarely reflect and see if they are living into that vision. Did they honor the commitments they made to the things that mattered most? Did They spend their time the way they wanted to? What worked well? What got in the way? They are looking for a quick fix. Making margin is actually part of our spiritual formation process. It is another way in which we try to live like Jesus. Spiritual formation takes time and practice. It's filled with trial and error. The transformative work of the Holy Spirit tends to bring up a bunch of stuff. It reveals our insecurities, shows who or what we are trusting, clinging to, and relying on other than God, and it exposes the fears, lies, and limiting beliefs we have be living by. So many leaders give up so easily on themselves because things didn't turn around in an instant. They try and do it alone. We don't talk about space, margin, overwork, and burnout in ministry. We hide our struggles. We don't want people to think that we don't have what it takes. We don't want to look weak or incapable. We don't want to disappoint the people around us. We don't want to disappoint God. We try to keep it all under wraps, afraid to be judged. Leaders that struggle to create margin don't have community around them to help them process what they need to live and lead with healthy rhythms and boundaries. They try and figure it out all by themselves. They don't connect with the people or resources they need in order to get support on the journey. You need margin. You were made for it. Margin helps you be a better leader, better spouse, better friend, better parent, and better neighbor. Being intentional about making margin in life and ministry is one of the most powerful and courageous, God-honoring things you can do. Need Help? If you need help making margin I just created a planner for you! The Margin Maker Planner is designed to help you discover and thoughtfully plan the space you need in the months ahead. Monthly journal prompts invite you to connect with God, hear His vision, and integrate the rhythms that will bring you life. Weekly reviews help you intentionally reflex on how the week went, how you experienced God, and what you may want to do differently. And throughout your journey, you'll find a scripture, quote or tip to keep you motivated and discouraged. You can grab your planner on Amazon.
Do you feel like your time and energy is being taken over by all there is to do? Is the pressure from all the things weighing heavily on you? Do you feel like you've lost control? Are you in a constant cycle of putting out fires and feel like you're trying to keep your head above water. Do you sometimes feel like it is just too much? That's overwhelm. Now, I realize that overwhelm is a word that you may not use readily in your vocabulary. In fact, you may shy away from it or flat out deny that you are dealing with overwhelm. The idea of overwhelm has been connected to weakness because one of the definitions of overwhelm is to be overpowered by something that is stronger. And we like to think we're in control, even when things are out of control. We think that as long as we manage the mess, we're not overwhelmed. Let me share for a moment, a bit more about what overwhelm can be. To bury or drown beneath a huge mass To defeat completely To be inundated To be too much Some similar words are: swamped, saturated, overloaded, overburdened. That is a place that many of us find ourselves. We are swamped. There is too much. We are inundated. You may be buried beneath the heavy load of tasks to complete, projects to manage, events to plan and execute, staff to encourage and equip, sermons and bible studies, helping people in the midst of difficulty. We carry the responsibility of raising our kids, loving our spouse, serving our neighbor...there are so many roles and responsibilities that you carry. You may be buried beneath the heavy load of watching the devastation that many are experiencing. We are constantly immersed in all there is to do and the emotions, the pain, the problems, the suffering that not only affect the people around us, but directly impacts our lives. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most of us are dealing with overwhelm. One of the main goals of this podcast is to help you break free from overwhelm. I realize that is no small task. I wish there was a quick fix...three steps I could tell you to follow so you never deal with it again. But it's complicated. It's not just a matter of lessening the sheer number of tasks or responsibilities...it involves deep inner work and that's never fun. It's necessary! But it is hard. As we consider breaking free from overwhelm, I know there are things that are out of your control. So today I want to look things you CAN control that can help lessen the burden that you carry. Here's What We Unpacked in the Episode 3 Ways You're Contributing to Your Overwhelm You're waiting for someone else to do something about your overwhelm. You're doing things God never asked you to do. You aren't taking time to process your pain. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram
Is the pace of life and ministry unsustainable? Are there too many things to manage? Do you wish you could slow down? In today's episode, I interview Jodi Grubbs who is a slow living advocate. Here are some of the things we talk about: What happens when you don't slow down The importance of soul care and community Slow living in the scriptures and how it relates to our relationship with God The role of people pleasing Tips to slow down the pace Obstacles to watch out for as you slow down Favorite Quotes from Jodi If you're passionate about something, slowing down will help you. You are not going to hear God say, "I need to hustle more!" If we are doing this for God and not for other people, we need to take seriously all the slow living that Jesus did. More About Jodi Jodi is a former island girl and is passionate about coming alongside women who long for that shift to slower living. She is a writer and the host of Our Island in the City Podcast where she loves conversing with her guests about faith, ordinary soul care, and deep community. She lives outside of Raleigh, NC and shares a 1952 bungalow with her husband and teen daughter. Jodie loves to interact over on Instagram @jodi.grubbs. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram
Do you feel like you are trying to manage all the chaos of the world? Are there things in your life and ministry that are challenging and cause you anxiety? Are you searching for answers? Whether we face problems that need to be solved or tensions that need to be managed there are many places where we experience trouble. Marriage Relationships Ministry and church related challenges Our schedule Physical health Emotional health Finances Kids/family There are things that contribute to our lack of peace: Messages from the world Expectations of others Taking on more things to do for God than our relationship with God can handle Busyness Fears Wrestling with challenges and being unsure of what to do Coping by grasping and clinging to other people or circumstances...even a feeling. There is chaos around us and chaos within us. Here is where we can related to David as he expresses this shared experience in Psalm 63: My inner self thirsts for you, my flesh longs and is faint for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. We desperately need peace. Where do we find it in the midst of a world that is filled with chaos and confusion? Where are you looking for peace? Peace I Leave You “I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give.” John 14:27 NLT “Peace I leave with you; my [own] I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.] John 14:27 AMP Isaiah 26:3 ”You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the LORD always, for the LORD GOD is the eternal Rock.” The peace we so desperately crave is a peace that we can not get from the world. It comes from no place, no one, no thing, no circumstance. Peace...true, lasting, secure peace comes from God Himself. How do you allow yourself to be agitated or fearful or unsettled? What are you focused on? What are you thinking about? What are you holding onto? What or who are you trusting in? Where do you look for peace? The power comes when you realize that regardless of what is happening around us, even how we feel, the gift of peace is still ours. Because HE is peace...He is security. Today, let's pay attention to where we are fixing our thoughts. What are you ruminating on? What do you keep running through your mind? What do you keep watch on? Mindset Mantras are so important. It's how we keep our thoughts fixed on the Lord. Tip of the Day Write down 3 truths from scripture about God and His promises. Every time you feel unsettled, anxious, worried, agitated, frustrated, or fearful, speak these truths. Say them out loud, repeat them silently in your heart. This is how we keep our thoughts fixed on Him and receive and accept the gift of perfect peace. Connect with Jen Facebook Instagram This episode was first published at: www.womeninministryunited.com/blog/episode103
Are you having trouble figuring out what healthy rhythms and boundaries would work for you? Most pastors and leaders I talk with know that they need to put boundaries in place but they are just not sure what will work. And not knowing is what's keeping them stuck in the unhealthy patterns of leadership. How do you gain clarity so that you can make progress? Ask God. God, what do you want for me? What's your vision, God? What do I need to focus on? What do I need to make time for? Write down what is most important to you in this season. What relationships are most important in the months ahead? What events are important? What roles, responsibilities do you need to make time for? What parts of yourself need time/attention/nurturing? Start small. Pick one thing but start. We tend to try and do much too quickly. Do one thing, but do it! We tend to think about things over and over again. We'll talk with colleagues and friends, we'll meditate on what we want, what it could be like...but we actually don't do anything to change. Doing something will help you gain tons of clarity because only by doing it will you know if it will work for you in this season. Make adjustments as needed. You want to give yourself a bit of time to integrate and establish the boundary or rhythm but if you sense in the doing that it isn't working, change it up. Do you need to make some tweaks or just try something entirely different? Check in with God and pick something else. Be aware of your pitfalls. Whenever we start something different we usually encounter opposition. It comes from within ourselves, from other or from the enemy. So be aware of your mindset, others pulling you back into the "normal" of the unhealthy pattern you were trying to break free from, and the enemy who wants to destroy you and any effort you make to break free from busyness and overwhelm. There is no wrong choice. It's a journey of discovery. You take a step forward and God gives you clarity. In the obedience things become more clear and we gain momentum. If you need encouragement and strategies check out the Margin Maker Workshop. This self-paced workshop will help you discover what you want, create a plan, communicate with your people, shift your mindset, and help you be able to create and maintain healthy rhythms and boundaries for the long haul. Get all the details HERE. Connect with Jen www.womeninministryunited.com
Do you like to plan? I know I do. It makes me feel accomplished. Productive. In control. Planning eases my anxiety because I know what to expect. Plan the work then work the plan, right? The problem is we rarely actually work the plan. We spend time, energy, resources getting everything we need to create a long term plan...we plan the work, but rarely do we work the plan. God may have given you a vision, a word, a calling, and unless God tells you otherwise, that doesn't change...but how we live it out does. Things change. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I am already hearing the anxieties from many leaders about what will happen this fall. What will be possible in a world where we are living with COVID-19? And we spend a lot of time thinking, wondering, worrying, and trying to plan. Here's the thing: We don't know what will happen tomorrow. This week I started to read the book Win the Day, by Mark Batterson. I only got through the Introduction but it was good. He talks about how we spend much of our time living someone else besides the present moment. We dwell on yesterday and worry about tomorrow. The power is learning how to live in the present. The biggest mistake we make in ministry is when we spend a bunch of time planning ahead. God has given us the model of living fully into today. Jesus tells us: do not worry about tomorrow. It won't help you. It won't change what's to come. It won't add days or years or ANYTHING to your life. In fact, research shows that worry and anxiety shave years off. It's unhealthy for us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. In fact, Jesus gives us a model of praying and living clinging to and trusting in God day by day. One day at a time. “Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father, who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. ‘Give us this day our daily bread. ‘And forgive us our debts, as we have forgiven our debtors [letting go of both the wrong and the resentment]. ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.' " (Mt 6:9-13 AMP) Does this mean you shouldn't give any thought to tomorrow? Should you not even consider the things that lie ahead? No, I'm not suggesting that at all, but most of us, if we are honest, we do more than take some time to be thoughtful about what we could do in the future. We spend the majority of our time living there. It's where we spend most of our energy. So, be thoughtful? Yes. Have some ideas, but hold them extremely loosely because...as you FULLY are present and live in TODAY, that's how tomorrow becomes more clear. If you didn't spend the time you do thinking about the future, what would be possible for you, your ministry teams, your congregation, and your community today? Living fully in the present is the best thing we can do today and eternally changes tomorrow. Integrate THIS Rhythm and Watch God Work Schedule 15 minutes to sit with God and pray Matthew 6:9-13 for the next 7 days. And ask God to show you how to live and love fully today. I'd love to hear what you see, hear, and come to know! Connect with Jen Join me on Instagram @womeninministryunited
Let's celebrate! This is episode 100 of the Women in Ministry United Podcast! From the launch in March 2019, the journey has been filled with twists and turns. If you've been with me for a lengthy period of time, you know that this began as the Giving Up Normal Podcast where we focused on giving up the normal things that are hurting your soul so that you could live as the person God created you to be. While that heartbeat continues, God's call for my leadership got more specific and as my ministry focused on helping women in ministry break free from the cycles of busyness and overwhelm and create healthy rhythms and boundaries...the name of the podcast changed to simply, The Women in Ministry United Podcast! Today, as we celebrate the 100th episode, I share with you 4 lessons that I've learned from you, the community, as you share your experience creating and maintaining healthy rhythms and boundaries in your life and leadership. Exposing these common realities will help us support one another so that we can lead out of the abundant life Jesus wants to give us all! 4 Lessons Learned 1. Most of us don't prioritize healthy rhythms and boundaries. It's only after we come into a place of overwhelm and burnout that we realize it is something we need and are willing to pursue. This does not put us in the greatest position. It is hard to create healthy rhythms and boundaries when we are in a good place, a healthy place. But when we are unhealthy and experiencing overwhelm and burnout it makes it all the more difficult. Why do we tend to not prioritize healthy rhythms and boundaries? Here are some of the things you've shared: You thought you could handle the load. We are the exceptions... You didn't think it would happen to you. You didn't think burnout in ministry was real. One comment from a woman in ministry was, "turns out burnout is a real thing, who knew?" You thought that if you started to get too busy, you'd know, you'd see it, and you'd be able to stop. You don't feel the need for it. Things are good, it's not an issue. 2. Many don't realize how unhealthy they've become until they've crossed the line. Not many see the deterioration that constant busyness creates. Once it is recognized the reality is that we're already started to fall off the cliff. You've shared time and time again...I didn't realize...I had no idea, I didn't know until it was almost too late. 3. Transformation and healthy leadership is a lifetime journey. We want a quick fix. Lord, fix it. Change me. Let's put some boundaries in place and get on with it. It almost as if we are annoyed to give attention to the healthy of our leadership. Spiritual maturity and transformation is a process that we need to be willing to give our time towards. You've shared that you hesitate to put long term, intentional time and effort into your own transformational journey. 4. Most of our church cultures are unhealthy. This one is going to ruffle some feathers but the fact is, most of you have shared that your church culture is no different than the world. In fact, it's a toxic environment. In some cases, rhythms, boundaries, soul care, time with family, and time for yourself are seen as unChristlike. It's a sign of weaknesses or poor leadership. Our church cultures have learned the right language to use but the values are aspirational, not reality. What is said and what is practiced and expected is opposite of one another. Because of this, you've shared that: You're waiting for the culture to change before you begin to integrate healthy rhythms and boundaries. You're waiting for permission from others on your team, in your congregation or in your denomination before you feel empowered to create the change you know you need to thrive. Let's not let these lessons go to waste! Healthy Rhythms and Boundaries are necessary for every person in ministry. No exceptions. If you are in ministry, you need them. You were designed for them. Don't just try and make it through. Let's be different...let's lead radically different...from a place of healing and wholeness. Let the fulness of life in Christ be the strength of our leadership. Let us be agents of change. Don't forget there are plenty of resources to help you! Connect with Jen at our website: womeninministryunited.com
Compassion fatigue is a reality for many caregivers in ministry. In this episode I sit down with Laura Howe from Hope Made Strong as she shares her insights and strategies on how you can tell if compassion fatigue is affecting you and what you can do about it. Laura defines compassion fatigue as "the physical and mental erosion, the wearing down, of your hope, empathy, and compassion." It is something that develops overtime and can compromise our compassion for others as well as ourselves. Compassion fatigue is not a sin, failure, or weakness. It is a result of being a caring person and doing good work. It shows up when we haven't had the opportunity to refuel. Resources from Laura 10 Signs Your Experiencing Compassion Fatigue 7 Keys to Build Resilience More About Laura: Laura loves to equip you and your ministry team as you support and care for others in your community. Founder of Hope Made Strong and the Church Mental Health Summit Laura is a mental health clinician and community development strategist for churches that want to care for their communities without burning out. Supporting local church leaders to overcome and prevent burnout, create effective and sustainable care ministries and be a beacon of hope for their community is what she loves to do! When church leaders are healthy and when congregations are healed and transformed, they are more able to fulfill the gospel mission. Connect with Laura Hope Made Strong Facebook Instagram Connect with Jen and the Women in Ministry United Community Facebook Instagram If you are loving the podcast, don't forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won't miss a thing! And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you would rate and review the show so that others can find it and join our community.
There are three rhythms that everyone in ministry should have: A rhythm of rest, rhythm of retreat, and a rhythm of review. Today we are going to talk more about the rhythm of review. Effective ministry leaders have a regular rhythm of review...weekly, monthly, quarterly, and yearly. That may seem like a lot of reviewing! But you'd be surprised how transformative this practice is and it doesn't take a particularly long time to do. Although you could spend hours if you'd like, setting aside just 30-45 minutes of intentional time to look back and remember what you committed to, what God did, what God said, reviewing how it went, and looking forward, seeking God on how He wants you to spend your time...it's a game changer. It really helps you draw closer to God as you constantly seek Him and ask Him to speak to you. Last week we had a chance to look back, remember, thank God for all He has done and remember the things He's asked of us that we haven't done yet. Today we are looking ahead. So, grab your calendar, your journal or however you record what God is saying to you and let's get started! Questions as You Look Ahead God, what's your vision for me? My family? My ministry? What rhythms and boundaries do you want to create or maintain in the second part of the year? What things are the utmost important? Help me to prioritize? What relationships would you like me to focus on? Where are the busy seasons over the next 6 months and when will I create margin before moving on to the next thing? What obstacles could get in the way of what you desire for me? What should I watch out for? It will be the end of the year before you know it. Your life is too precious and purpose too great to leave how you spend your time, energy, and resources to chance! Take time now to look ahead and experience deeper intimacy with God as you review together what's to come. Episodes Referenced 3 Rhythms of Everyone in Ministry Should Have: Episode 82 The Power of a Mid-Year Review: Looking Back Connect with Jen and the Women in Ministry United Community Facebook Instagram
How good are you at remembering? I'm sure you have a plan or strategy to make sure you remember all your "to-do's" for various things in life and ministry but this isn't the kind of remembering I'm talking about. How good are you remembering the Lord...what He has done, what He has spoken, how He has provided and protected? Throughout the scriptures we are constantly told to remember because we are people who are quick to forget. It is important to reflect and remember. This episode is being released the last Thursday of June which means the first half of the year is over, so it is the perfect time to do a mid-year review! Why? We don't want to live by chance. We want to be strategic and intentional about following the path God has set out for us. Many of us take time to reflect and align ourselves to the movement of God at the beginning of the year which is great, but then we end up waiting until the entire year has passed before we check in with God about the things we felt so passionate about and the ways we wanted to move forward. So today I'm going to give you some questions to help you do a mid-year review. It will help you recall all the ways God has loved you, it will help you reflect on how God has provided for you, spoken to you, protected you, healed you, guided you, and given you strength as you've journeyed throughout the year. These questions will also help you see all that God has done in your ministry AND is also a touch point with God to make sure you are pursuing and prioritizing the desires He put in your heart. This process helps us see how far we have come. Your Mid-Year Review Grab your journals, bring your calendar, and at the risk of being distracted from your cell phone, pull up your photos from this year. What scripture(s) has God given to you throughout the year? What promises has He spoken over you? What desires did He stir in your heart? What did you sense God wanted for you? How has God loved you? What good things did God give you? How has God protected and provided for you? Where do you see God moving in your ministry? Look back over the commitments you made to God, yourself, and your family. What things did you determine were priorities? How did you end up spending your time, energy, and resources? Did it align with what you valued most? How have you been able to follow the path God set before you? What did God ask you to do that you have forgotten in the first part of the year as you've journeyed along? Start thinking about any adjustments you want to make in the second half of the year, which is what next week's episode will be all about. Remember! God's goodness, His promises, the ways in which He has convicted your heart and invited you into His rhythms of grace.Healthy, effective leaders do not leave things to chance...especially our remembering! We don't just hope we follow the path God set out for us. We don't just hope we remember the things He has spoken, revealed, and the steps He was prompting us to take. We are intentional because our “remembering,” our reviewing and reflecting is powerful. It increases our faith, our thankfulness, brings us back to repentance for the things we've let go, and shows us the glory and goodness of God. Enjoy your mid-year review and let me know how this experience was for you! You can email me HERE. Scriptures Mentioned Psalm 119:55 Psalm 103:2 Nehemiah 4 Deuteronomy 7 & 8 Connect with Jen and the Community Facebook Page Instagram
Have you considered quitting ministry? If you have, you're not alone. There are many pastors and ministry leaders who are considering whether or not it is time to go. A 2013 study from the Schaefer Institute reported that 1700 pastors leave the ministry each month, citing depression, burnout, or being overworked as the primary reasons. In 2019 a summary of surveys from Fuller Institute, Barna and Pastoral Care Inc. showed that 1500 clergy leave pastoral ministry every month. And just last week I saw a church leadership expert take a poll asking, “have you considered quitting in the last 14 months?” And a resounding 77% answered, “yes!” Thousands of pastors around the United States and around the world are ready to quit. If you are one of those people, what should you do? Remember that God loves you apart from what you do for Him, so if you quit, He will still love you completely!!! Sometimes when you feel like you want to quit, you really don't want to quit. There is something else going on. Be opened to what God is revealing to you. Acknowledge your current reality. Don't deny your feelings, hoping that if you ignore them they will magically disappear. Take a day off. Let your staff know that you will not be available. Don't text, don't check email, don't answer the phone. Go for a walk, watch a movie, go shopping, sleep, whatever you need to do. This is a buffer that will allow you to catch your breath before you do the work of deciding whether or not you should quit. Take a vacation. Some people want to quit but what they really need is a vacation! After they come back they feel energized and renewed, ready to go! On the other hand, if you dread coming back and never get relief, that is significant. Create small places of margin (a few minutes several times throughout the day) and ask, "God, how do you see my situation. What is your will?" Ask a trusted friend to pray for you. Write down the words that you are feeling. Explore why you want to quit. Get specific. What can you just not tolerate anymore (or who). Flip the coin. What is making you stay? Guilt? Sense of obligation? Fear? No energy? If you still feel called to remain, explore what would need to happen in order for you to stay and remain healthy. Evaluate your ministry call…sometimes we want to quit because our season is over…season at that particular place, in that particular ministry position. That's normal and something to pay attention to. Make a plan for change. If you decide to stay, what are steps do you need to take in order to remain healthy. If you go, what steps do you need to get healthy? Don't do nothing and expect things to be different. Connect with Jen If you are loving the podcast I'd love it if you would leave a review so that others can find it and join our community! And don't forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won't miss a thing! Let's get connected! Join me at Women in Ministry United's Facebook Page Instagram
Do you struggle with embracing your gift of limits? Do you feel as though you are losing yourself on this journey of leadership? In our final episode [originally #20] of the BEST OF SERIES, I share my conversation with Pastor and friend Ashley Engle. During our time together we talked about the challenges of leadership and what we'd tell our younger selves to remember along the journey. It was a refreshing, healthy dialog about our need to embrace the gift of limits and the importance of giving ourselves permission to live in a way that honors how God has made us. There are so many things that Ashely shared that speak to me and my personal experience...and that's why I believe this episode has been listened to more than any other...because Ashley's struggle is our struggle. She gave voice to what we are going through. She was able to put into words what many of us could not or have been afraid to say. Connect with Jen If you need help creating a pace of ministry that accepts your gift of limits and gives you time for things outside of ministry, visit WOMEN IN MINISTRY UNITED and explore the different ways we can work together and find the one that would be of greatest value to you.
Do you feel like things are out of your control? Have you told yourself change will never come? We are in the middle of our BEST OF SERIES where we are replaying the most popular episodes of the podcast. Although this episode [45] originally aired last year, many things have remained the same. When the world seems out of control, it is tempting to believe that you've lost all control. However, that is simply not true. You have control over so many things! In this episode you are challenged to broaden your perspective and exercise the control that God has given you. Connect with Jen Women in Ministry United Website
Welcome to the BEST OF SERIES where we replay the most popular episodes of the podcast. We are starting off by talking about the feeling of discontent with who you are and what you do. This episode [17] originally aired in June of 2019. Many of us struggle with feels of discontent around who we are or what we do and we keep saying to ourselves, "there must be something more." In this episode, I confront our discontent with the assertion that our feelings stem from trying to be someone or something we were never meant to be. Could it be that your discontent is God’s way of stirring you and getting you out of the comfort zone that is keeping you from being the person He is calling you to be? Or could your restless be a by-product of the fatigue that comes from chasing a dream that was never yours? Connect with Jen Visit the Women in Ministry United website.
Planning time off...is that hard for you? Is it hard for you to intentionally take chunks of time and set them aside, designating them as time to step away and not be in charge? Is it hard for many people, including for me! We'd rather get to a period of time where there is a lull...this quiet...this calm after the storm, where everything is checked off the list and taken care of...and THEN, then we'll decide to take time off. The problem is, that time never comes! There is always something. The only way that most of us will have time off is if we plan it in advance. Have you planned your time off? Do you have time set aside that will look different from the regular pace of life and ministry? Now's the time. Decide when you will have time off. Mark it off on your calendar now. Even if it is two days here, three days there...whatever works for you. But plan it now. If you don't decide how you'll use your time, other people will decide for you. Take control and plan for it ahead of time. Speaking of time off...this is episode #95 of the podcast and I have been creating the podcast almost nonstop since May 2019. So, I am going to plan time off. I admit, I should have done this sooner but I never decided and planned the rhythms of the podcast ahead of time! See how easy it is! Over the next few weeks I'll be featuring our most popular episodes. These conversations are timeless and I know they will encourage you as you eliminate overwhelm, lead with focus, and have time for things outside of ministry.
Do you ever go through the day just trying to keep up? Does it feel like you're running late and can't keep up? Does time get away from you? It is easy for the day to become hectic and to feel like you don't have enough time. But there are a few simple things that can help you plan your day to make it go as smooth as possible. Tips to Help You Plan Your Day Many people have said that a successful day starts the night before and there are a few things you can do before your day even begins: Look at the day ahead of time. This way you are not caught off guard by surprises and can plan thoughtfully and not on the fly. Make decisions the night before. Take the guess work out of as many things as possible and save yourself precious time and mental energy by making simple decisions the night before. For instance, what will you wear? What's for dinner? What will your workout be for the day? Whatever helps you get moving and keeps you moving! Connect with the people who will be part of your day. Have an appointment with someone? Send them a quick email to remind them. Does your family have to be somewhere? Kids need to be picked up by someone else? A quick conversation can make sure everyone is on the same page. Set an end time to your task or appointment upfront...and stick to it. Whether you are meeting with someone in your office or working on a message, set an end time. As you're sitting down for coffee, a hospital visit, or a staff meeting, let people know how much time you have before you'll need to get to your next commitment. You'll set yourself up for success by deciding ahead of time when you need to finish. Start your day by preparing your heart. We all have our plans but many days never go as planned! But if you prepare your heart before the day begins you will be able to experience peace and joy in the midst of the day even if it doesn't go according to your plans. When you do these simple little things and practice them on a regular basis, you will set up your day for success, no matter what comes. Connect with Jen HERE.
Do you remember the saying, "you can never have too much of a good thing?" Well, in some instances, that can spell disaster, particularly in ministry. We are a society that believes the larger the initiative, and the more you do, the better. But in many cases doing more means achieving less. An increased number of events and doing things on a grander scale gives us a false sense of effectiveness. This type of thinking extends beyond secular culture and has infiltrated the church and various ministry organizations as well. Many people who serve in ministry feel overloaded and fatigued. They go from one big project to the next. They are spread thin, and their leadership suffers. Instead of undertaking a few high-quality ventures that spur transformation, they crank out program after program that has minimal impact, leaving them and their people tired and overused. More+Bigger DOES NOT EQUAL Better! You can be a relevant church or ministry organization without overloading your team members and your calendar. You can be dynamic and impact people with the Gospel without saying yes to every opportunity. Just because you could...doesn't mean you should. I know what you may be thinking. "But we do a lot of good things!" I do not doubt that you do. But even too many good things can lead to burnout and overwhelm. You will run on empty and decrease your impact if you are involved in and advance everything that is recognized as "good." Too many things, even good things, can be a detriment to your ministry, let alone to your soul. Too many good initiatives crammed into your schedule can steal your joy. Too many good things can make you run around like crazy, too many good things can take a bite out of your marriage and family, too many good things can keep you from having quality time with God. Too many good things can derail you and dilute your effectiveness for the Kingdom. If you want to model well for others how to share life and the Gospel, do a few things well and create plenty of space and margin. Creating margin within your day or week is not irresponsible or a waste of time. It's in the cracks and crevices of unplanned time that we are renewed, relationships are nurtured, Jesus is shared, ideas are sparked, and God is heard. In what ways are you continually chasing the pursuit of more? Where do you need to scale back? What few things can you do well? Connect with Jen womeninministryunited.com support@womeninministryunited.com
Today, God invites you to open your heart and allow His word to be spoken over you to strength your soul. There is nothing required of you. No call to action. Just come and receive and know how much God delights in you and in this opportunity to love you today.
Trying to figure out how to manage all the expectations in ministry? In this episode, we go deeper into what lies beneath expectations and what to do with them if they are something we can't do. Key Points Shared What are expectations? Assumptions, presumptions Hopes What they think would happen in the future State of Anticipating Feeling of what should happen Where do they come from? Family, friends, neighbors, schools, people in the place of our ministry Formed and shaped by past experiences and personal definition of responsibilities. Things to consider. Are the expectations: conscious realistic spoken/written agreed upon What do you do with them? Ask God about the condition of your heart and for His guidance. If it was not agreed upon, acknowledge this in a kind way by saying, "I didn’t know that’s what you were expecting" or simply, "I’m sorry, I am not able to do that." If it was agreed upon, start a conversation. Talk about it. This is what I can do...this is what I can’t do right now. OR I am not able to do [____________], what would you like me to put my time and energy towards? You can't control whether or not someone else's expectation is reasonable. You can't control how they will receive your "no," if they will agree or understand. You CAN control the posture and motivation of your heart. *Also mentioned in the episode, Geri Scazzero, author and spiritual leader/mentor.
When it come to healthy boundaries, what gets in your way? This is a question I recently asked and the responses boiled down to 4 key things. I don't have a mentor. There is no one to help me figure out what this looks like and encourage me along the way. I don't know how to say no. Am I allowed to say no? How do I do that? What do I say no to? I am genuinely interested in the things I am asked to do. I would enjoy it and honestly, I'd be good at it! I don't know how to manage all of the expectations. If any of these barriers get in your way, join me for the Margin Maker workshop. We'll help you get clear on your priorities, learn how to say "no," create a plan, shift your mindset and help you establish margin (which means you have to create healthy boundaries) for the long haul. Enrollment ends April 16th at 6:00p CT. Learn more HERE.
Does all that you do for God help you be your whole self? The answer should be yes, but many of us find that we end up losing ourselves along the way. Too many great, godly women are leaving their ministry positions. Some may step out of the position of authority, while others stay but are dying on the inside. We say yes to God and our God given assignment but end up drifting to this place where we are not able to be the true, complete, whole person God called us to be. Far too many times, while we begin ministry with enthusiasm and hope, it ends up consuming all of who we are and tends to put to death the other vital pieces of our lives. None of us wake up and think, "let's say yes to ministry but ignore every other piece of ourselves or neglect important relationships," but it can happen if we are not careful.
What do you do when things look bleak in life and ministry? Do you try and fight? Do you fall back in despair? What do you hold on to as you sit at the foot of the cross in your suffering? It is Maundy Thursday and today's episode is a special encouragement stemming from Jesus' last night before He was crucified. Things looked bleak. Pilate thought he had power and authority over the situation, able to sentence Jesus to death or set Him free. "Then Jesus said, 'You would have no power over me at all unless it were given to you from above...' " John 19:11 Despite how it looked, things were going according to plan...and it was a good plan because God was the one in control.
Do you have space between your load and your limits? Do you wish you had a way to increase your capacity in ministry? There is a way to do just that, but I've got to warn you, it's counterintuitive. Make Margin Margin builds capacity. The more margin we have the better we are as leaders, spouses, parents, friends, and neighbors. We become wiser in our decision-making. Making margin is one of the most powerful and courageous things we can do to thrive in life and ministry. Join the waitlist for our new Margin Maker workshop. It will give you the strategies you need to get the margin you want!
Most of us have too many things we are trying to get done in ministry, but even when we are only working on one thing, we get distracted. In this episode of the podcast, I share a hack to help you get things done in ministry. If you want to increase your productivity and keep yourself from losing momentum, you won't want to miss it! Hint...Turn off your notifications! Instead of having a device tell you when you need to respond, take control and make the decision yourself. If you are loving the podcast, don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won’t miss a thing! And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you would rate and review the show so that others can find it and join our community. Connect with Jen Join me at Women in Ministry United's Facebook page Instagram
Have you ever experienced pushback in ministry? Have people reacted negatively to the changes that you are making? They don't like it and they're letting you know that they don't like it! That may seem like a silly question. Of course we have experienced pushback...and if you haven’t yet, don’t worry...it’s coming! Pushback happens.. Pushback is normal. What should you do when someone opposes or complains about the changes you are making? Let’s start by talking about change for a second. -Change is a stressor (even good change). -People resist change. -Resistance creates friction, otherwise known as conflict. And we typically avoid conflict. But there is such a thing as healthy conflict. It is important to reframe your thinking that pushback is bad. You’ve got to remind yourself this is normal and it can be good. Healthy conflict helps create a healthy culture and healthy people with healthy relationships. Key Tips Discussed: Reframe your idea of pushback. IT IS NORMAL and it can be healthy Ask questions, preferably ones that are open-ended. This gives people a chance to getter explore and explain their feelings. Give them the information that they need Tell them what to expect to negate uncertainty Remember they are looking at things from their perspective. Sit with them in that for a moment and then help them reframe and see this from a biblical perspective of healthy leadership and God-honoring discipleship. We get comfortable with our routines/habits. It is helpful to explain the why behind what you are doing...it is good for them to see the biblical connection. Remember oftentimes we are afraid and anxious about what is to come. Change, even good, is a stressor...we are all overstressed! Give space for this. Lastly, you just have to become comfortable with the fact that some people will always be uncomfortable when you decide to do something different. And that’s ok. Connect with Jen: If you are loving the podcast, don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won’t miss a thing! And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you would rate and review the show so that others can find it and join our community.
One of the keys to great leadership is to communicate well with your people. This is important in ministry in general and is a valuable and necessary leadership principle when you are focused on your priorities and setting healthy boundaries. Many times we create frustration because we have not relayed the right information to the right people at the right time. Sharing the particulars is critical to help people understand what to expect and manage tension and anxiety. Keys to Communicating Well Communicate Clearly and Often (Inspired Patrick Lencioni's foundations for creating a healthy organization.) Create clarity: Oftentimes we aren't clear...we think we are being clear, but something is being lost in translation. Clarity is key. It helps to build and maintain a healthy organization both with staff and with the people you serve. Let people be your advocate. Plus if it is within your scope of influence, create an environment where everyone has healthy boundaries. Consider practicing with others. Over communicate: Repeat, repeat, repeat. Sound like a broken record! Reinforce clarity: Don't just tell...show. Make sure that you do not create confusion by saying one thing and doing another. Be consistent and reinforce with your actions, plans, and priorities. This will build trust. People know you mean what you say and will do what you've planned. Communicate with the right people in the right order. Discern with the Lord as to who need to hear this from you personally. Make those conversations a priority. Also, make sure your team and the people most affected will hear it from you FIRST. Use different forms of communication. Share in multiple ways and times. Use email, zoom, text, and individual conversations when able and appropriate. Connect with Jen: If you are loving the podcast, don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won’t miss a thing! And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you would rate and review the show so that others can find it and join our community.
Do you find it hard to give yourself grace? Many of us would answer, yes. It’s interesting...we are able to show kindness and patience with others, but we are much harder on ourselves. Our Current Situation Many of us are under a lot of pressure. Not only are we trying to manage it all, but there’s been a lot going on that adds to our stress. Every time I turn around I feel like there is another "historic" or "unprecedented" event unfolding. You just can’t wrap your brain around what’s happening. It’s truly unbelievable, and yet here we are in the midst of it. Some things we see and feel from a distance, while others hit right at home. The Result These events add up. They take their toll on us. We need to be ok with not feeling personally responsible for everything. It’s tough, especially for people in ministry because it’s part of our calling as Jesus followers and as spiritual leaders to grieve with those who grieve and hurt with those who hurt. [Side note...that’s why space and margin is so important to cultivate in our lives and souls. We need space to be fully present with others and allow our hearts to feel and heal.] But it doesn't stop there. We tend to pile on the expectations. Here’s what we tend to say to ourselves: I should be doing more. I am behind. I'm late. I'm doing too little. I'm failing We even do this when it comes to creating healthy rhythms and boundaries. We try to make changes but we fall short. We didn't stop at the time we said we would. We ignored the time for margin on our calendar. We worked on our day off. We answered that phone call or text when it could have waited. Here's the thing, we are never going to get it perfect. Some days will be better than others. Through it all, there is NO CONDEMNATION IN CHRIST. He gives you grace upon grace upon grace. And if HE is able to do that for us, shouldn't we extend grace to ourselves? Steps to Giving Yourself Grace Do what you can Speak kindness and truth over yourself (be very careful of the words you are speaking over your life.) Ask yourself, "what would God say about this to you?" Confess anything, if needed. Regroup and reprioritize Keep going Connect with Jen: If you are loving the podcast, don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite platform so you won’t miss a thing! And if this episode resonated with you, I'd love it if you would rate and review the show so that others can find it and join our community.
Have you been wondering what types of rhythms you should integrate into your life and leadership? Where do you even start? In this episode of the podcast, Jen shares 3 rhythms that every person in ministry should have. These rhythms will change your life and your ministry. Key Rhythms Rest: a time to stop, sabbath, preferably weekly. Review: once a week, 45-60 minutes do a review of how you've spent your time and energy. What went well? What needs to be done differently? What's coming up this coming week and how can I make the most of it? Retreat: a period of 2-4 when you get away with God to survey the scene with God. What is He saying to you about the season you are in or may be entering? Listen, pray, evaluate. This form of pulling back allows you to strategically enter into the months ahead. This episode was originally published on www.womeninministryunited.com/blog/episode82
You want to make some changes. There are some good, healthy boundaries that you know will help you lead and live better, but you just can’t seem to gain momentum. You're stuck. Now what? Today, I share 4 progress killers that can keep you from making the changes you want. We wait for the perfect time. We wait for things to slow down before we make changes. We think it’ll be easier once we push through this busy season, once a certain obligation is finished. We wait until things are perfect. But guess what? It’ll never be a perfect time! We have an all or nothing attitude. If there is just one time we can imagine when the boundary or rhythm won’t work, we don’t even try! We could do it 95% of the time, but we let the 5% stop us. We are afraid. We fear what others think, we are afraid something won't get done, we fear missing out on an opportunity. The list is endless. ACTION STOPS FEAR. When you take action, even when you are afraid, you gain momentum. We change everything. We make massive, sweeping changes...and then everything goes haywire. Slow and steady wins the race. You can make significant progress by taking small, consistent steps over time. Which progress killer is keeping you from experiencing the change you want? This episode was first published at www.womeninministryunited.com/blog/episode81
What do you do if you are burned out in ministry? What happens if ministry has wounded you, or if you’re running on empty, or if you are flat-out spent! What happens now? Do you quit? Do you just suck it up buttercup? What’s next? What are your options? This episode was inspired by a woman in full-time ministry who asked, "How do you find time to rest and heal while still showing up and getting things done?" The answer really is dependent on whether you are getting close to the edge of the cliff or you’ve already fallen off. Falling off the Cliff When you are in free-fall drastic measures need to be taken. It is a very serious situation. Some people need to take an extended leave of absence. Get counseling, get help from a spiritual director, or pastoral care. Try to take 2-3 weeks off. No emails, no texts, no phone calls, no social media...you are completely stopping any and all responsibilities. (Maybe you need to talk with the church and let them know you are treading on thin ice. I know it’s scary. But remember, you’re human.) And you are being WISE and using good judgment by taking action! Plus a lot of our fear is around what people will think, or that they won’t agree, but what I am hearing is that many places are willing to make this happen. On the Edge Establish regular days off...weekly, plus vacation. Stop the same day each week, or take a look at what’s ahead each quarter and make sure days are set aside. There is no right or wrong formula to follow. You have to stop in order to be able to continue to do what you love for the long haul. It’s hard. It cuts to the core of whether or not we trust God to care for people and situations in our absence. But it is necessary to have days when you know you are not responsible and it helps reinforce the truth that God is really the one in control. Let go of a few things. Find a mentor. Walking Toward the Edge Pause before responding and count the cost. What will it cost you in time and energy? What will it cost your marriage and family? What will it cost your soul and your current ministry obligations? Say no to more things. Don't let someone else’s urgency become your emergency. You can get pulled by the demands of other people. Requests they have, problems, come fast and furious, and if we are not careful, take up all of our energy. I have a guide with 5 things you can put into practice in order to give up the tyranny of someone else’s urgent and create a rhythm response. You can get it by going to www.womeninministryunited.com/urgent
What is the strength of your ministry? What is that one thing that makes you the person and the leader God has created you to be? What gives you the potency, the power to impact the Kingdom and do the things God has called you to do? My guess is that if you knew the answer to THAT, it would change everything, right? You’d make sure to develop that leadership muscle. You’d spend the time that was necessary...you’d protect that strength at all costs. What if I told you, I know your strength? I know your superpower because it is my superpower too. The strength of your ministry is your relationship with God.** Our relationship with God is the one thing that helps us be the person and leader we were created and called to be. Our relationship with God gives us the potency to impact the Kingdom and gives us the power to do the things we were called to do. An alarming trend is the number of pastors and ministry leaders who spend very little time cultivating their relationship with God. We have so many spiritual leaders who don’t have a spiritual life. Key Points DIscussed Your ministry role is part of who you are...it isn’t all of who you are. Your identity comes from belonging to the most High God. You are important because you are the daughter of the King. This is the role and position that matters most. That is a role that you take into everything...your marriage, ministry, parenting, and friendships. Who you are becoming matters more than what you are doing...even what you are doing for God. Our spiritual strength, our ability to discern, be wise and have good judgment comes from our relationship with God. We can’t do our ministry role well apart from our relationship with God. You can’t lead what you don’t live. You can’t give what you don’t have. **The statement, “The strength of my ministry is my relationship with God” is a direct quote from Pastor Kaan Koryurek. This episode was first published at www.womeninministryunited.com/blog/episode79
Are you wondering if your ministry is making any kind of impact these days? Is what you're doing making a difference? If you find yourself wondering these things, you're not alone. Many ministry leaders are discouraged and doubting if anything is really working. In this episode, I share 5 things you can do when you doubt what you're doing in ministry. Connect with God. Tell Him your frustrations and doubts. Go Back to Your Why. Remember why you said yes to ministry in the first place. Remember There are Untold Stories. Just because you haven't heard the story doesn't mean there isn't a story. And many stories are in the process of being written. Celebrate the little things. A smile, a laugh, seeds that were planted. Nothing is too small. Give thanks for it all. Leave it in God's Hands. Isaiah understood our frustrations. He said, "But my work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet, I will leave it all in the LORD's hand; I will trust God for my reward." Isaiah 49:4 This episode was originally published on https://www.womeninministryunited.com/blog/episode78
Are you worn out and wondering to yourself, "how can it only be the 2nd week of January?" I knew there wasn’t anything magical about a new year but I’m a little surprised, even disappointed that I didn’t get a “bump” of energy. Maybe you can relate. Or maybe by the time you’re listening to this episode the newness of the year is a distant memory and you’re experiencing fatigue. Perhaps it's unexpected. Maybe you didn’t see it coming or you’ve been dealing with it for a while and you thought it would have dissipated by now...but it’s lingering...it just won’t seem to go away. Sometimes fatigue will disappear on its own but it is very rare. Healthy leaders resist the temptation of ignoring the signs and signals God gives us and instead pay attention and lean into what they are feeling and experiencing in order to see what God is doing. In this episode we will answer these three questions: What is fatigue? How can it affect your ministry? How do you deal with it? To connect with Jen visit: womeninministryunited.com
What do you want to be true of you by the end of the year? It's never too early to ask yourself this question. And while most people have made resolutions to do something new, it is equally important for you to decide what NOT to do so that you can be the person and ministry leader God has called you to be. In this episode, Jen shares 7 things NOT to do this coming year...because if you're not careful and do them, you will get sucked into the perpetual cycles of busyness that lead to overwhelm and you'll be less effective in the roles you've been given. Decide not to... make yourself busy plan too far ahead make everyone happy manipulate the outcome chase every idea fill in every moment on your calendar wait with great expectation for things to go back to normal Need help getting clear on your next steps? Join me for a one-hour coaching call via Zoom in the month of January for 30% off. You'll get the recording of our call plus 7 days of Voxer with me so you can ask and process any follow-up questions/issues. Sign up HERE.
I'm not sure where I am, let alone where I'm going. It's been a tough year and things continue to be uncertain. In this final episode of 2020, Jen offers a prayer from Thomas Merton as we face the uncertainty that lies ahead. My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone. -Thomas Merton