Worst Gig Ever with Geoff Garlock and Mike Pace

After one hundred (give or take) episodes, a seven-part web series, and innumerable references to “the promise of the West,” WORST GIG EVER has come to an end.  A heartfelt thanks to all of our guests, listeners, sponsors, and everyone who shared stories or made them happen; we got a lot out of this and we hope you did, too.  Check out some of our parting thoughts in this brief epilogue ep.  We shall be seeing you in other projects soon, so please GET HOME SAFE!  

We celebrate our 100th episode much the way we did our 1st, by bringing a member of one of our own bands on to talk about life and how to live it.  This time it's Dan Fetherston, Oxford Collapse drummer extraordinare, steamed cheeseburger enthusiast and caretaker of the oldest haus in Brukelyn, who reminds us of the time the Collapse decided to "jam" onstage in front of a paying audience instead of playing their songs.  We also talk about the demise of the OC and our most annoying habits, debate the merits of Guns 'N Roses, touring in your thirties, and stealing drum hardware from your local elementary school.  Hordes of heady times on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Limbs fly when Chris Norris jumps out of the back of the van and into "the studio" to bring forth the epic tale of Reversal of Man's ill-fated 2000 European tour.  This one's a checklist of wondrous worsts, from towed vans and missed merch to suspicious squats and gross grub.  We also discuss Chris' transition from the "sexless" world of self-righteous hardcore to behind-the-scenes in the hardcore world of BDSM and the art therein.  Lots of fear and self-loathing on this week's WORST GIG EVER!    

  There’s gonna be “more keys in the monitor” when journeyman musico Jared Van Fleet “sustains” a trip to the studio to debate house sound guys vs. bringing your own, giving up music to become a “businessman,” how start-ups are like bands, lifestyles vs. deathstyles, and ultimately balancing a 9 to 5 with the touring life.  More than a couple fifteen minute smoke breaks on this week’s WORST GIG EVER!  

Somebody's gonna get their head kicked in tonight when Black Anvil/None More Black bassist Paul Delaney shows up in the alley behind "the studio" armed with a sock full of quarters and a bunch of bone-crushing, slap-happy worst gig tales.  From European skinhead madness to Floridian "Pantera skin" malevolence - with a few internet-related threats and stops in Queens in between - Paul takes us on a tour of some tuff turf, as only a man who plays in two bands with the word "black" in their names can (Black Anvil's new record, Hail Death, comes out on Relapse Records on May 27th).  Gallons of goats' blood on this week's WORST GIG EVER!  

There's going to be a "Youth Attack" when a couple of dudes in their mid 30's get together very far from Tony Victory's house to kibitz with the awesome Mark McCoy about some of the lowlights from his time in seminal bands like Charles Bronson and Das Oath.  Scary European squats, coping with onstage injuries, playing with bandmates you've never met, being influenced by MAD Magazine, and performing in shorts are just a few of the pathways we'll go down.  Bundles of buttflaps on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

It's a belly to belly suplex of bone-crushingly brutal baddies when Rob Blatt (aka "Bobby Phobia") joins us in the squared circle for a no-holds barred talk about pro wrestling, music, and sideshow performing.  From a makeshift, disastrous tour with his college band, to wrestling in a dog-collar match, to the ins and outs of transporting a homemade bed of nails, Rob covers a lot of interdisciplinary crummy gigs with the bravura of a seasoned color commentator.  Gaggles of grappling on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Get a glimpse into the "Brotherhood of Session Bassists" when ace-rhythm man Matt Rubano pops 'n slaps his way through a bushel of blatant bad ones, from performing with children on The View, to performing for children at Tommy Hilfiger's son's birthday party, to a very bizarre audition for 30 Seconds to Mars.  Matt also divulges his love for improv and stretches his comedic chops like a new pair of heavy gauge D'addarios on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

We're halfway to a minyan when comic Noah Gardenswartz shows up with a tale of terrible stand-up tour, bookended by two very similar (and very bad) gigs at synagogues.  Among other things, Noah's got a unique approach to Jewish humor and is equally informed by his upbringing in Denver and Atlanta and coming up in "urban" rooms (don't worry, plenty of bar mitzvah discussion in there, too).  Lots of l'chaim on this week's WORST GIG EVER!  

We head "down to the crossroads" with amazing guitarist/songwriter/person Kaki King, who delivers worst gig tale goods with the classic trifecta of accidents, innapropriate venues, and food poisoning.  We also delve into Kaki's appreciation of new age music, her drumming skills, performing with the Foo Fighters, how she deals with press, and performing at school graduations.  Fonts of fingerpicking on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Funny lady Emmy Blotnick takes a break from applying lipstick and joins us “in the Belly Room" to share stories of performing stand-up in warehouses, working for an old hag, writing for Nikki and Sara Live,meditating, and generally flying by the seat of her pants.  We’re all eating it on this week’s WORST GIG EVER!

The black leather driving gloves come off when We Are Scientists bassman/resident jokester Chris Cain enters "the band area" with KO-kaliber tales of slagging off in the U.K. press, fighting other bands, hosting awards shows, and being a "rock star dad.  We also get into WAS's patented brand of comedy "behind the music," and celebrate the release of their brand spankin' new album, TV en Francais.  "Bass in your face say peace see ya later" on this week's WORST GIG EVER!  

It most definitely doesn't "smell like Sao Paolo" when actor/comic/playwright/songwriter Taylor Negron "delivers a pizza" in the form of some incredible stories from his thirty-plus years in the business.  From attempting to do stand-up in Alaska to playing multiple deliverymen in some of the most beloved comedies of the 1980s to his uneasy relationship with Rodney Dangerfield on the set of Easy Money to "smelling crack" while shooting Nothing But Trouble, Taylor dispenses equal doses of mystic wisdom, goofy jokes, and quick-witted asides.  Follow a flock of fantastic film-biz fables on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Take a peek behind The Nylon Curtain when Liberty DeVitto - the man behind the backbeat to some of the most beloved songs of the 20th century - grants us exclusive access to his vast reservoir of worst gigs from his thirty years playing drums with Billy Joel.  From crew members hilariously sabotaging songs and Spinal Tap-esque drum riser malfunctions at huge arena shows to loading their own gear in the early days while driving around in rental cars and throwing McDonalds shakes at one another, it's an awesome look into life playing music at a level alien to most of us.  Liberty talks about everything from living at this parents' house to doing session work for Rick Wakeman to why he hates his drumming on "My Life" to Attila.  Tons of tales from the attic on this week's WORST GIG EVER!    

It's a Coal Miner's Glove Steel Cage Tuxedo Street Fight when the very funny Mike Lawrence "hits a spot" on the "Spanish announcers' table" and slings his own bag o' tricks into the ring.  From working and eating at McDonalds, to listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, to what changes when you start earning a living from comedy, Mike's got an anecdote for 'em all.  Also we talk pro wrestling.  Lots and lots of pro wrestling.  Tons of Typhoons and Earthquakes on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

It's a "Misty Mt. Mombaccus Hop" when the very talented, very funny Eleanor Friedberger drops in with a baker's dozen of fantastic bad gigs.  From playing festivals with the Fiery Furnances at 10:20am to smashing bottles over the head of the singer of Jet to violent "European-style" diarrhea attacks to "that time of the month" happening onstage, Eleanor lets it all hang hilariously out.  We also talk of sibling rivalry and how her music has brought her parents back together, as well as her thoughts on what it would be like to play rhythm guitar for the Black Crowes.  There's definitely a "remedy" for the winter blues on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Hilarity ensues as jack-of-all-comedic-trades Arthur Meyer "does panel" with the guys; sharing awful anecdotes about improvising at the New York International Auto Show on behalf of the 2013 Ford Taurus, farting in the theater during Bad Teacher, touring with the "bad boys of sketch" Pangea 3000, and the ins and outs of writing for Jimmy Fallon.  Arthur also gives a couple of "rock recommendations" and attempts to figure out if he could fit everyone he's ever met in one stadium.  Bellowsfull of belly laughs on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

"The kids will have their say" when Jason Hamacher (drummer of Frodus/Decahedron/Combatwoundedveteran/Regents/Battery) shows up "at the Wilson Center" with a literal suitcase full of super-memorable worst gigs.  From infiltrating Latino biker gangs in Montana to playing high school graduations in Nebraska to gutting skinheads in DC to what lead to the break-up of Frodus, Jason delivers the goods.  Not content with a buttload of killer 90's punk/hc tales?  We also discuss Jason's time in Syria and his work documentating ancient religious prayers and songs.  If you're not now you never were on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Loveable stand-up Joyelle Nicole breaks bread with the boys "outside the perimeter" and shares a slew of great gnarly gigs including performing for redneck racist bar regulars named Kermit, her first ill-fated headlining show in Georgia, and dealing with shady promoters.  In addition, there's plenty of real talk about accomplishments, self-image, jealously, the inevitable comparisons to peers, strip clubs, and advice from Dave Chappelle.  Heaps of healthy humanity on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

There's no bench fee when former Parts & Labor noisenik Dan Friel stops by "customer service" to chat about disastrous van breakdowns en route to SXSW, communal eating in crazy punk houses, coming up in New York during the heady days of the mid-aughts, the eventual "extreme hiatus" of P&L, and the benefits of touring as a solo artist.  It's a gaggle of grumpy old men on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

We start 2014 off in style when comedy/film guy Dave Bluvband almost "makes it a minyan" with a number of killer kuts that include dressing up as Elmo and hanging around Times Square when he was fifteen, growing up as an orthodox Jewish city kid, bombing as a stand-up, and generally being a man out of time.  Plus, a special appearance by film critic Gene Shalit and the definition of "chugim!"  A motherload of mitzvahs on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Mike ‘n Geoff ask for a minute of your time…to get wet ‘n wild in the holiday spirit! Check out all the episodes of WORST GIG EVER: TV! here. GET HOME SAFE FOR 2014!

We've made sure to "record in SLP mode" when filmmaker Josh Johnson "fast-forwards" to discuss his awesome new VHS-centric documentary, Rewind This! (which is coming to DVD on January 14th and it is up for preorder now. There is the standard DVD release and a DVD/VHS combo). Josh is a font of information on this once ubiquitous format and tells us about meeting tape die-hards who scower yard sales and thrift stores for undiscovered diamonds in the rough that never made the transition to DVD, like this.  We also get a great worst gig from Josh's pre-VHS days, when he worked in an assisted-living facility in Austin, TX.  Don't forget to pop the tab on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Sweet 'n sour stand-up Jena Friedman does a tight 50 "hanging around craft services," and offers up an incredibly bizarre tale of how answering a Craigslist ad led to her acting in a feature film in Italy.  She also tells us about writing for late night, why she nixed her plans for film school, fellow comic Mike DeStefano's words of wisdom, and how she deals with hecklers.  Find that missed connection on this week's WORST GIG EVER!   

Sweetheart of the rodeo Kid Millions (Oneida, Man Forever, People of the North, Spiritualized) drops in to "give the drummer some" and delivers an worst gig tale of monumental proportions that involves an eleven band bill in a creepy old hotel in the Santa Cruz mountains where a river runs through it, literally.  Kid also speaks on Oneida's storied history, entertaining annoying British "journos," what Williamsburg was like before the Goldrush of '01, and the idea of "going for it."  Spend a kouple of minutes in Kid's Korner on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

When ace improviser/stand-up/actor Megan Neuringer (@Midnight, Best Week Ever), spends some time "on the casting couch," a gaggle of great worst gigs emerge; from acting in a nightmarish New York City tour bus "ride," to summering as a dancer at a local theme park, to getting heckled by obese soccer moms, Megan's got an entire ouevre of classics.  It's an embarrassingly entertaining episode of WORST GIG EVER!

Self-proclaimed "gun for hire" Timmy Mislock "moshes it up in the orchestra pit" with dozens of doozies that involve his time playing guitar in The Antlers; everything from inappropriate audience participation to full-on band silent treatmenst to van panic attacks; an overall sense of "tour war" pervades this mercenary's tales.  Equally as engaging is the story of how Timmy has hung up his indie rock boots...for an opportunity to play on Broadway in the theatrical adaptation of Hedwig and the Angry Inch. A cadre of curtain calls on this week's WORST GIG EVER! 

Unique named stand-up Vladimir Caamano stops n' chats with us and as a result, an unexpectedly touching conversation emerges.  Plenty of laffs abound as well, for we do get a cherry of a terrible show in the form of the World's Worst Sweet Sixteen Party as well as the origin of Vlad's comedy catchphrase.  And we also delve into dads, striving for authenticity, fear, anger, therapy, growing up in the South Bronx, and some of Connecticut's finest liberal arts colleges.  Heaps of higher ed. on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

British-born photographer Ben Rayner drops by "the darkroom" to "develop some terrible prints" and lets us how this kid obsessed with punk and hardcore got into shooting everything from Vice photo spreads to weird bands to high fashion stuff.  Along the way he throws us some classic awful SXSW gigs from his band Throwing Up - in which he moonlights as a drummer - and fills us in on how his jetsetting lifestyle actually works.  We also hear about Geoff's photo shoot for his Bass Player magazine profile (which, sadly isn't available online).  Let loose the aperature on this week's Worst Gig Ever!

We go "deep, deep undercover" when funnyman Eliot Glazer shows up in the "sixth floor bathroom of Bobst" to offer a few outstanding and epic worst gigs.  From slaving away at the Entenmann's Factory in the backwater of Bay Shore, Long Island, to dealing with the freshman roommate from Hell, to gardening while listening to the Rent soundtrack - and all of this fuels Eliot's creative video visions (and podcast) - this one's jam-packed with serious L.I. lore, references to specific old age homes, NYU cruising spots, Joey Violence, and laffs galore.  You're gonna have to take 495 to exit 43 on this week's WORST GIG EVER!  

"Demonstrating his smile," Freddy Cricien of legendary New York Hardcore band Madball stops by "the pit" to drop some terrible tour tales (and presumably some suckas) including playing in flip-flops to no one in Nag's Head, North Carolina one night and later to 120,000 at the uropean Dynamo festival (while nursing a killer cold).  Along the way Freddy touches on his band's infamous reputation, the importance of the ethnic makeup of the original NYHC scene, some awful jobs he's had, singing lessons, his love of hip-hop and Phil Collins, and what his parents think of his music.  Make no mistake, we "set it off" on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

"The Greks bring gifts" when Michael C. Maronna and Danny Tamberelli - more affectionately known in some circles as Big Pete and Little Pete - swing by "craft services," baclava in hand, to dispense tales from their time in the worlds of tv, film, the stage AND music!  You want stories from the set of their landmark Nickelodeon show The Adventures of Pete & Pete? Check. Maronna's torturous tale of getting "Eli Roth'ed" on the set of Cabin Fever?  It's here.  Tamberelli playing bass in Television personality Richard Lloyd's band and dealing with the legendary guitarist's legendary tantrums?  In stock!  Copious joke and pun-making throughout?  This is your ep.  Our guests eating falafel while on mic?  I can see you getting excited!  Tons of tales from the punchbowl on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Singer/songwriter/graphic designer Todd Goldstein "stretches out in the weight room" with a couple of cruel catcalls; from a disastrous early ARMS solo show performing in front of a potential girlfriend and a father/son "fan" combo, to slugging it out on the road with his old band Harlem Shakes while supporting douchebag headliners, to having a coincidentally named 2013 internet meme generate new interest in the since deceased Shakes.  Goldstein also graces us with the do's and don'ts of making your own records these days and keeping a firm head (and arms) on your shoulders.  Miles of musculature on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

John Frusciante is many things: improviser, comedian, podcast dude, musician, funky monk.  He brings his ecletic personality and fun antics "under the bridge" and tells some epic tales of joining the world's worst Smashing Pumpkins-inspired bar band, getting a tv sketch show right out of college and how that fell apart (and the subsequent movie that came out of it), and the general frustrations behind stopping and starting with both music and comedy.  Gallons of getting freaky styley on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

We "make a little movie magic" with actor/writer Adam Hann-Byrd as he "pulls back the curtain" to reveal that not all that glitters is gold in Hollywoodland - in fact there are a couple of nice-sized turds here and there.  From having "fart wars" with Leslie Nielsen, to dealing with primadonnas on the backlot, to having to pee while during a love scene with Emmanuelle Chriqui, to just wanting to be a regular kid, the man Jodie Foster coined "Little Man Tate" has stories for days (including a number from Halloween H20; one of Geoff's favorites)!  Lots of grips and gaffes on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Taiwanese Texan comic Sheng Wang "takes the bike lane" over to "the studio" with a houndstooth folder of humiliation; from attempting to entertain college students on the night of the Vice Presidential debate, to performing for old white people in a "barn-like" structure, to not being quite sure he actually did contractually obligated stand-up on a debauched pot-brownie enabled cruise.  Sheng also divulges how he's "turning over a new leaf" and lightening up on his hard partying ways.  Lots of sex on the open ocean in this week's WORST GIG EVER!

"Thunda from down unda" Danny Lee Allen heads "in through the out door" armed with a bundle of terrific turds.  From playing to no one in Poughkeepsie while his band Youth Group's hit single reaches the top of the charts in their homeland of Australia to getting pelted with change in New Zealand to having the guys from Rancid sing "Happy Birthday" to him at "Mr. Brett"'s house after Youth Group signed to Epitaph Records.  Lots of original Aborigines on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Improviser extraordinairre Mike Still joins us to "break 'em off somethin'" and discusses fast times at variety shows and renaiassance fayres, cruel casting directors, and bummer basement-waterproofing telemarketers.  He also tells us how he deals with the success of others and divulges the innerworkings of improv teams.  Plenty of "please sir, may I have some more?" on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

The line's around the corner at the Euclid Tavern when writer/musician/podcaster Jonah Bayer "sets up on the Campbell's Chunky sidestage" and gives us some skullcrushingly bad gigs, including actual bleeding skulls, innerband turmoil, open flames, the some of the depressing realities of playing on the Warped Tour with his old band The Lovekill.  We also delve deep into the curmugeonly old punk dude talk, which inevitably leads to One-Life Crew coming up.  A lot.  This is for you Cleveland, on this episode of WORST GIG EVER!

All bets are off when likeminded brothers-in-arms Nick and Joe from the Found Footage Festival "step behind the swinging saloon doors" with a bevy of brutal beauties!  These cultivated curators of only the coolest and craziest VHS ephemera touch on the time they put on their video/comedy show in a technical school cafeteria during lunch and how they've competed with televised football and mechanical bulls games at sports bars, as well as all of the technical foibles that happen along the way.  We also go deep into their love and fascination with this outdated media format, the band-like intensity that goes into their touring schedule, and why the term "VHS players" makes us want to gag.  Be kind and rewind this week's episode of WORST GIG EVER!

Beth Hoyt - an actress, comic, YouTube supertzar, and former host of the very funny My Damn Channel Live - stays "home alone" with Mike and Geoff and spins some sordid stories involving awful auditions and something called ZooTube.  There's also an in-depth conversation about "makin' it" on YouTube, Beth's love for the Home Alone franchise and Mike's volcanic hatred for the first sequel, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.  Kelvins of Kevin on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

The lovely and talented Annie Hart "made time for tea" with us to share stories of her band Au Revoir Simone (barely) perfoming in a cage in the center of a roller rink, getting heckled by the group going on after them, the trials and tribulations of using a drum machine and .wav files, and being a mom who tours in a band.  Au Revoir Simone's new album Move in Spectrums plops September 24th, chumps!  Gallons of grace on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

BuzzFeed editor Katie Notopoulos "chats in a private room" with us about the origins behind her hilarious Tumblr blogs, "weird Twitter," absurdist comedy as related to the Internet, and the summer she spent working as a parking garage attendant.  Reams of RAM on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Double trouble hits "backstage" in the form of Darin and Greg Bresnitz - tastemaking twins who DJ, book shows, produce stuff (including their own Snacky Tunes podcast), and thoroughly enjoy food culture.  The terrible twosome share some of their own torturous tales, which including urinating and defecating while DJing in front of thousands in Europe, losing iPods in ass pockets, playing in early 2000s Boston screamo bands, and the love of foodstuffs their parents instilled as them (did we mention that their mother was present at the taping of this episode?).  Plenty of double takes on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Remember how Sam Kinison was a comic AND a professor (in Back to School)?  Okay, so he wasn't both at the same time, but this week's guest is! Justin Williams "spends a period in the teachers' lounge," giving us a leisurely dissertation on balancing comedy and academia (in a conversation funnier than it is academic).  There are some great worst gigs in there as well, such as performing for locals deep in Queens, growing up in Missouri and then moving to Long Island, loving pro-wrestling, students finding out about his "night job," and spending time in Africa.  He's also got a hilarious new DVD out called Black and Comfortably Middle-Class. Terrific Triple Lindys in this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Smooth talking man of many talents Jeremy DeVine hangs "backstage" and spills on the less desirable side of managing his long running record label, Temporary Residence Ltd (home of Explosions in the Sky, Coliseum, and Mono, among others).  He also shares a few killer road stories, from a tormented tour managing stint to dealing with asshole sound guys, out of control smoke machines, and rocking out in rug stores.  Post-hardcore tales for a post-hardcore world on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Jocular stand-up Tim Dillon signs up to do a tight 60 on some horrific gigs of both the comedic and day job sort.  From fending off angry law school students, to telling jokes in bookstores and halfway houses to selling copiers and giving tours on a double-decker bus, to being a comic who's gay but not a gay comic, Tim has anecdotes and life lessons for days (and a voice to match).  Lots of Long Island love on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Waltzing into "the green room" like an angelic Duff McKagan, charmed multi-instrumentalist Aaron Pfenning pulls up a console table and shares tales of major label excess, Fleetwood Mac-esque backstage brawls with bandmates who happen to be exes, rebuffing movie stars, and playing something called "running charades" at Macaulay Culkin's house.  Reams of reverse rough gigs on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Inimitable pro wrestler Colt Cabana shows up in the "locker room" to cut some awesome promos on his stint in the WWE, slugging it out on the indy circuit in both the States and the U.K. (where he's wrestled in front of six people as well as in venues such as barns, fields, and backywards), comedy in wrestling, his awesome Art of Wrestling podcast his bar mitzvah, and how the internet made all this possible for him.  Lots of chair shots and flaming tables on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

Multi-talented multi-instrumentalist Adam Wills from the band Bear in Heaven materializes "backstage" to tell terrifying tour stories about being pelted with bottles at the Redding Festival, staying with a cadre of ugly gay men, and performing after the screening of an "accidentally racist" documentary.  We also talk about how he went from a playing in a "nights and weekends" band to being in an all-out touring machine after he turned 30.  The tide is rising on this week's WORST GIG EVER!

John Murray is a man of many talents: improviser, actor, film afficionado.  He's also sang, danced, and served cheeseburgers at Johnny Rockets, "laid pipe" (as in DSL cable), worked at a video store that stocked alot of porn, and had to differentiate himself from other performers named John Murray.  Lots of late-night rentals on this week's WORST GIG EVER!