Podcast appearances and mentions of Rachel Simmons

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I am giving you another sneak peek inside my Peaceful Parenting Membership! Listen in as I interview Rachel Simmons as part of our membership's monthly theme of “Friendship Troubles”. Rachel is an expert on relational aggression, AKA mean girls. We discuss how to intervene in this behaviour when kids are young, how to prevent our child from doing this, and how we can support our children when they're experiencing it.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:27 What is relational aggression?* 8:50 Both boys and girls engage in this type of aggression* 10:45 How do we intervene with young kids* 14:00 How do we teach our kids to communicate more effectively* 22:30 How to help our children who are dealing with relational aggression* 33:50 Can you reach out to the aggressive child's parents?* 38:00 How to reach out to the school* 47:30 How to help our kids make new friends after relational aggressionResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Rachel's websitexx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERERachel interview transcriptSarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's episode is another sneak peek inside my membership, where I interviewed Rachel Simmons — an expert on relational aggression, AKA “mean girls.” She wrote a book called Odd Girl Out, which is all about the topic of relational aggression and how we can support our children when they're experiencing it — and what to do if our child is actually doing that to other people.If you don't know what relational aggression is, don't worry — listen up, because she goes into the definition of it. This was a great conversation. My members had questions, I had questions, and in the end, we all agreed it was a very helpful discussion. I think you'll find it helpful as well — no matter how old your child is or whether or not they've experienced any relational aggression.This is something we should all be aware of, and as parents, we actually have a lot of control over preventing our child from becoming someone who uses relational aggression.As I said, this is a sneak peek inside my membership, where we have a theme every month. This month's theme was “Friendship Troubles,” and it actually came as a request from one of our members. So we brought in Rachel to talk to us about relational aggression, which this member's child had been struggling with.Every month in the membership, we have a theme — I do some teaching about it, and we also bring in a guest expert for teaching and Q&A.If you'd like to join us inside the membership, you can go to reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership to learn more and join us.Another thing we do inside the membership is office hours. You may have heard a recent podcast that gave a sneak peek into what those are like. We do office hours twice a week where you're welcome to drop in, ask a question, get support, or share a win — from me, Corey, and other members. It's just a wonderful place.Our membership is my favorite corner of the internet, and we've been doing it for six years. It really is a special place. I'd love for you to join us! Please let me know if you have any questions, or just head over to reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership to learn more.And now — let's hear from Rachel.Hey Rachel, welcome to the podcast.Rachel: Thank you.Sarah: Can you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?Rachel: Sure. Well, I'm based in Western Massachusetts, and I'm a researcher and author. Over the last eight years, I've also become an executive coach. I've always been fascinated by — and inspired by — the psychology of girls and women.Over what's now become a long career, I've worked with women and girls across the lifespan — beginning, I'd say, in elementary school, and more recently working with adult women.I've always been animated by questions about how women and girls experience certain phenomena and spaces differently, and how paying attention to those experiences can contribute to their overall wellness and potential.Sarah: Nice. And I just finished reading your book Odd Girl Out, and I could see how much research went into it. I think you mentioned you interviewed people for a few years to write that book.Rachel: It was a long time, yeah. I was just actually reflecting on that. I came across a shoebox filled with cassette tapes — little cassette tapes of the interviews I did when I wrote that book, which came out 20 years ago.I worked all over the United States and tried to speak to as many girls as I could.Sarah: It's a great book — highly recommended. We'll put a link to it in the show notes. Thank you for writing it.So today we invited you here because we want to talk about relational aggression. Can you give us a definition of what relational aggression is?Rachel: Yes. Relational aggression is a psychological form of aggression — a way that people express themselves when they're trying to get a need met or are upset about something. It usually starts as early as two or three years old, when kids become verbal, and it's the use of relationship as a weapon.It can start off as something like the silent treatment — “I'm going to turn away from you because I'm upset with you” — cutting someone off as a way of communicating unhappiness. That silence becomes the message.I remember once interviewing a seventh-grade girl who told me she gave people the silent treatment — that she'd stop talking to them as a way to get what she wanted. That was really unusual, because most girls won't come up and be like, “Yeah, here are all the ways I'm mean.”In fact, it's often the secrecy that makes this stuff hard to talk about. So I was like, wow, here's a unicorn telling me she's doing it. And I asked, “Why do you do it?” And she said, “Because with my silence, I let my friends know what's going to happen if they don't do what I want.”A very powerful description of relational aggression.So that's the silent treatment, but it can also take more verbal forms. Like, “If you don't give me that toy, I won't be your friend anymore.” Or, “If you don't play with me at recess today, then our friendship is over.”The threat is always that I'll take away a relationship. And it's so powerful because — what do we want more than connection? That's a profound human need. So it's a very, very powerful form of aggression.Sarah: Your book is called Odd Girl Out, and you focused on women and girls. Do you think this also happens with boys? Has it started happening more with boys? What's your take — is it still mainly a girl thing? I mean, when I think of relational aggression, I think of “mean girls,” right?Rachel: Yes, I think a lot of people do — and certainly did when I first started researching this book many years ago. I did too.It's important to remember that yes, boys definitely do this, and they do it as much as girls starting in middle school — at least according to the research I read. I haven't read the very recent studies, so that could have changed, but back when I was doing this work, no one was writing about boys doing it.There was almost no research, and frankly, because of my own experience — seeing boys being more direct and girls being indirect — I assumed it was just a girl thing. But it most definitely is not.I think I and others, in many ways, did a disservice to boys by not studying them. I wish I had. It's something that's much more widely understood now by people out in the field doing this work.Sarah: Yeah, interesting — because my oldest son, who's now 24, definitely experienced a lot of relational aggression in elementary school. And my daughter did too.And just as a side note — it's so painful to watch your kids go through that. I want to ask you more about parents' roles, but it's so painful as a parent to watch your child have their friends be mean to them.You mentioned it can start as young as two or three, and I remember reading in your book — that sort of “you can't come to my birthday party” thing. Even little kids will say that to their parents sometimes, right? Using that relational aggression.You said that if we don't actively get involved, it can turn into older-kid relational aggression that never goes away. What do you suggest parents do or say when they hear this kind of thing — whether it's to other kids on the playground, to a sibling, or even to the parents themselves?Rachel: Yeah, with little kids — we're talking about little, little ones — I often answer that question with a question back to the parent: What do you do when your kid hits or bites somebody?Usually what most of us do is stop the behavior, make sure the other kid's okay, and then turn to our own child and say, “You can't do that. We don't do that in our family. That's not what we say, that's not what we do. You have to use your words.”And we say, “We don't ever threaten people when we're angry.” It's okay to be mad — that's really key — but it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Certain ways of speaking are off-limits, just like certain words are off-limits.It's also key, though, to practice self-awareness as a parent. Because if you're the kind of person who goes quiet when you're upset, or withdraws as a way of expressing yourself, that's probably where your kid's picking it up. They're not unaware of that.It's kind of like when parents tell teens, “Hey, get off your phone,” and the teen says, “You're on your phone all the time.” Modeling is key.Sarah: That makes a lot of sense — treating relational aggression like any other form of aggression, giving alternatives, correcting the behavior.Rachel: Exactly — and helping them cultivate empathy. Ask, “How do you think that other person felt when you said that? How do you think it feels when someone says they won't be your friend anymore?”You don't want to lose friends just because you made a mistake.Unfortunately, so many people believe this is just “kids being kids.” When you hear that phrase, it's almost a way of disqualifying or invalidating the behavior as aggression. We have to be really careful not to trivialize it or write it off. That's the gateway to not taking it seriously and not holding kids accountable.Sarah: One of the things you talk about in your book — which I thought was really great food for thought — is how this often happens with girls because girls are socialized not to express their anger and to be “nice” and “good.” So it goes underground and comes out in these covert, or even not-so-covert, forms of relational aggression.What can we do as parents to change this? Any concrete ways to help girls express themselves or communicate more effectively so that this doesn't happen?Rachel: That's a really good question. I think one approach I value — both as a parent and in my work — is taking a more integrated approach to parenting, not just saying something in the moment.If we want kids — and we don't even have to say “girls,” just kids — to be more emotionally expressive and authentic so they don't resort to indirect or harmful behaviors, then they need to be raised with certain principles.Those principles have to be voiced, reinforced, and practiced throughout daily life — not just in response to an acute moment of aggression.Some of those principles are: It's not what you say, it's how you say it. All feelings are welcome, but not all behaviors are. You have the right to be treated with respect and dignity by your friends, and you owe that to them as well.And not even just your friends — everyone. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but you do have to treat everyone with respect.That's key for girls, in particular, because they're often expected to be friends with everyone, which makes them feel resentful. So another principle is: You don't have to be friends with everyone. You can be acquaintances and still treat people respectfully.You're striking a balance between supporting expression — it's good to say how you feel — and being thoughtful about how you do it.It's also a practice. Sometimes we'll make mistakes or feel awkward expressing ourselves, but that's far better than going behind someone's back or ignoring them forever.Sarah: Right. I'm reminded of a line we often use in peaceful parenting when one sibling is being “mean” to another verbally. We'll say, “You can tell your sibling how you feel without attacking them,” or, “You can tell your sibling how you feel without using unkind words.”That's really what you're saying — it's not what you say, it's how you say it.So as I was reading your book, I realized that many of the things we teach in peaceful parenting already help kids express themselves in healthy ways — and also not put up with being treated poorly.If you learn at home that you don't have power or agency because your parents don't treat you with respect, then you're more susceptible to peers treating you poorly.Rachel: Yeah, I think so. Parents teach us what to expect from other people. They also teach us how to respond in difficult moments.If they normalize difficult moments and your day-to-day life includes not feeling valued or safe, you'll import that into your relationships with others.It can be more subtle too — if you don't feel unconditionally valued, or if you have to fight for your parents' attention, or you don't feel consistent attachment, you might become vulnerable to pursuing peers who recreate that familiar but painful dynamic.If your “happy place” becomes constantly trying to get the popular girl to win you over, that might mirror how you once tried to win your parents' attention.Sarah: If your child is the victim of relational aggression — what should you do? Both in terms of how to support your child and whether there's anything you should do with other parents or the school?Rachel: Great questions. First, how to support your child when they go through something like this — and you're absolutely right, it can be really triggering for us as parents.Empathy really matters. And I know some people are like, “Yeah, duh, empathy.” But in my work — and in my life as a parent — I've found that we're wired to help and fix, not to empathize. That's how humans have survived — by fixing and protecting, not empathizing.So our instinct when we see our child in distress is to jump in and try to fix it.Sarah: It's called the “righting instinct,” I think.Rachel: The righting instinct — oh! Like to put them upright again?Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Oh, that's helpful — I didn't know that! Yes, the righting instinct.So we have to override that and remember that what a child really needs is to know that what they're going through is normal — even if it's incredibly hard — and that their feelings are normal. They need to know they're not alone.Say things like, “You must feel really hurt,” or “That sounds so hard.”Now, some kids will say, “No, I'm fine.” Not every kid will respond with, “Thanks for empathizing, Mom.” But you can still name the feeling — “If I were you, I'd feel the same way,” or, “That's really hard.”The feelings are scary, and kids want to know it's okay to feel how they feel — that they're not alone, and that it's normal.After that, try to override the fixing instinct as much as you can. Because unless your child is in acute distress, these are opportunities for them to develop problem-solving skills.They will experience social aggression — that's inevitable. If they don't, they're probably not connected to other people. So it's not a question of if, it's when.These moments are opportunities for you to be with them and support them — but not to do it for them.Ask, “Okay, this is going on — tell me one way you could respond. What's something you could do?”What we're doing by asking that is not jumping in with, “Here's what I'd do,” which doesn't teach them anything. We're giving them a chance to think.A lot of kids will say, “I don't know,” or get annoyed — that's fine. You can say, “Okay, what's one thing you could do?”If they say, “Nothing,” you can say, “Nothing is a choice. That's a strategy. What do you think will happen if you do nothing?”We live in a culture that's consistently deprived kids of opportunities to become resilient — deprived them of discomfort, and that's cost them problem-solving ability.I'm not saying kids should handle social aggression alone, but these moments are a chance to hold them and be with them — without doing it for them.So those are kind of the first two steps.Sarah: Well, I mean, I think empathize and empath—one thing that I read in your book is that sometimes parents dismiss that it's really happening, or because of their own fears of their child. Wanting their child to fit in, they might try to encourage them to stay in the relationship or to try to fix the relationship. Maybe you could speak to that a little bit.Rachel: Sure. Well, I think these kinds of moments can be incredibly disorienting for parents and triggering. And I use the word disorienting because we start to lose—we stop losing—the ability to differentiate between our feelings and experiences and our kids'.So, for example, if we have a lot of emotion and a lack of resolution around what happened to us, when our kids go through it, all those feelings come right back up. And then we may start to assume that our kids are actually suffering more than they are.Like, I'll give you an example of a kid I met and her parent. The kid had been not treated well in middle school and she said, “I just want to sit at a different table.” And her mom was like, “But this is terrible! This is a terrible thing. We have to do something about it.” And her kid was like, “I just want to sit at a different table.”So remaining aware of any delta between how your child is reacting and how you are is very key. And if you sense that difference, then you really need to conform to where your kid is and not insert or enforce your own emotions on them.I also think it runs the other direction. To your point, Sarah, if you yourself fear—if you remember being really afraid of what happened when you felt alone—and you start to imagine that if your child were to make a move that would put them in more isolation, that would be bad for them because it was bad for you. Again, that's a flag.Anytime you find that you're sort of flooding your parenting with the memories or the experiences that you had long before you were a parent—if you have the ability to differentiate—that's really where you learn how to do it differently. But becoming aware of that is most important.Sarah: That makes a lot of sense. And then I love how you're talking about inviting problem-solving—you know, “What do you want to do?” Because often we come in with this, “Well, this is what you do. You march back in there on Monday and you say this.”But as you said, that doesn't allow them to develop any skills.And, you know, where's the spot—where's the space—for encouraging? Because I know that my daughter, I went through this with her, with some mean girls in our community and at her school. And I just wanted to say, “Just make friends with different kids! Why do you keep trying to be friends with these same kids that are not being nice to you?”Like, where's the space for that? And what do you do?And that actually is a question that one of our members sent in: what should we do, if anything, if our child still wants to be friends with the kids that haven't been kind to them or who have been relationally aggressive?Rachel: Yeah, it's such a great question, and it's one that many, many parents hold. Because it is certainly a phenomenon where, you know, you keep going back to the person who has hurt you.And girls can be very inconsistent or all over the place—like, one day we're really good friends, the next day you don't want to sit with me at lunch, three days later you invite me to your house for a sleepover, right? You kick me out, you take me back in.There comes a point in a kid's life where they're old enough to make their own decisions. They're going to school, they're going to hang out with whoever they want. And I'm most interested in supporting the parents who actually can't control who their kid hangs out with.Because if it were as easy as just saying, “Well, you can't go over to their house anymore,” that would be fine. But it's not—because the kid's going to make their own social choices when they're out and about.So I think the answer is that relationships are a classroom. Relationships are a place where we learn all kinds of life skills—including how to say what we want, how to compromise, how to forgive, and how to end a relationship.I think that while it is incredibly frustrating and stressful for a parent to watch their child return to an aggressor, trying to remain as much of a guide as you can to your child, rather than bringing down the hammer, is key.So, in other words, one strategy I've suggested—which is not maybe for everyone—but it's kind of like: think about a friend you've had in your life as an adult who keeps going back to somebody who isn't good to them. Maybe you remember—they were in a relationship with a crappy person—and you're like, “What are you doing with that person? Why are you dating them?”And you probably weren't yelling at them or saying, “You better stop dating them or I'm not going to be your friend anymore.” You had to stick with them as they figured it out, and you knew they were learning and you hoped they would learn.There's a bit of that with your kid. Your kid is not your friend—your kid is much more triggering than your friend—but they're actually in a very similar learning experience to your friend who's dating somebody that everyone knows isn't right for them.And so as a parent, you want to stay connected and say, “Okay, so what's your takeaway from what just happened? What are you learning about this person—how they're treating you?” And you're going to say it a hundred times before maybe some neuron fires next week or next year, and they're like, “Oh, I get it.”Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Like, they need to keep hearing from you. They need to keep hearing that this isn't a good person—that this person's not good to you, that this person doesn't have the values our friends have.Sarah: That happened with my daughter—with a best friend from birth, too. I think it was around age eight when things started shifting, and the girl started being pretty mean to my daughter.And it took her four years until she finally made the decision on her own. One thing happened, and it finally cracked it open for her, and she just said, “I don't think [name] and I are best friends anymore.”She cried for about three hours, and she went through maybe a month or two of grieving that friendship. But that was kind of like—it had been the straw that broke the camel's back, where she finally saw everything in the true light. You know what I mean?But it was so hard for those four years to watch her keep going back and trying and giving her the benefit of the doubt. Anyhow, it was rough.Rachel: It was rough. And what do you think she learned from that?Sarah: Well, I think she learned to look other places for friends. And I think she learned how she wanted to be treated.So we've talked about how to support your child who's going through this. Is there anything you recommend doing with the other child's parents or with the school to support your child?Rachel: Yeah. I mean, I think it depends on their age, right?Sarah: Let's say tweens.Rachel: Okay. I think it depends. So first, with the other parents—it's important to remember that if you call another kid's parents without clearing it with your own kid first, you just never know what those other parents are going to disclose to their own child.If you don't know these parents well, you have no idea whether they'd go to their kid and say, “Guess who called me today?” So, as much as possible, have some communication with your own child about reaching out to another parent, especially if you don't know that parent or have a prior relationship.I understand the intention is to help, but when you call another parent, you can't control what that parent does with your words—or how that affects your own child. So you have to be very careful.Now, does that mean you always have to have your child's permission to reach out? No, it doesn't. There are times where you'll just do that because that's your job. I just want people to be aware of that.Also, when you call another parent, it's critical to start the conversation with: “I know I only have one perspective here. I know I can only see what I can see. Can you tell me if there are things I'm not seeing? I'd love to know what's going on from your perspective.”In other words, you're not going in heavy-handed or accusatory—you're going in with humility. It's okay to say you're upset and to talk about what you know, but it's critical to maintain the humility of realizing you don't know everything.And that children—just like everyone else—can have their own distortions or lenses through which they experience their peers.Finally, when you talk to another parent, be very precise in your language when you describe what happened. Stick to the behaviors that allegedly occurred.Like, you can say, “My understanding is that your kid called my kid with some kids over while they were having a sleepover, and it left my daughter feeling pretty embarrassed and hurt. Can you tell me more about what you know?”So you're not saying, “Your kid did this and really messed up my kid.” You're saying, “Here's my understanding of what happened, and here was the impact.” Those are two things you can control knowing—without accusing.Sarah: Yeah, that makes sense. I made all the mistakes with my friend's daughter's mother, so yeah, I think your advice is good.And I wish I had had it then. It's so hard not to rush in as a parent, especially when kids are younger. It's so hard not to rush in and try to—like you said—right things, to try to fix it and make things better.There's just a comment from Mare—when we were talking about kids going back to people who are unkind—she said that her grandson, who I know is nine, told her that he's “an easy mark.” And when she asked why he felt that way, he said his friend punched him in the stomach and he just accepted that and continues to be friends with him.Do you have any words for her around that—how she might support her grandson?Rachel: Yeah. I mean, first of all, I like that he's comfortable talking to his grandmother in that way—how wonderful for her that he's so vulnerable and authentic. So I would, as the grandma, be very cautious and handle delicately the vulnerability your grandson's giving you.And I would be very inquisitive. I'd put on my coach's hat and say, “Tell me more about that. Tell me more about what happens and why. Tell me more about your decision to accept it. What do you think would happen if you didn't accept it?”I've learned a lot in the later part of my career about the importance of just holding space for people to talk something through. You don't have to give advice. You don't have to have an idea. You can just ask questions and let them talk it through.Talking aloud to someone who cares and listens closely is not that different from journaling. Both can help you arrive at new insights that you couldn't otherwise on your own—but don't require someone telling you what to do.So I think that kind of stance, if you can take it with your grandson, would be very effective—and you'd probably learn a ton.Sarah: Thanks. That's great. So the final part of that three-part question that we keep getting back to is—what about with the school?One thing that I thought was interesting in your book is you talked about how a lot of the kids that are doing the relational aggression have a lot of social status, and that it often flies under the radar—that the teachers don't see what's going on.I think that would make it especially tricky to try to get support from the school if they're not seeing what your child is reporting back to you.Rachel: Yes, it does make it tricky. And you know, psychological aggression is just that—it's psychological. So unless you're listening, you'd miss it.It's also the case that—like Eddie Haskell in Leave It to Beaver—when the adult shows up, a lot of the most aggressive kids turn into very likable, charming, dynamic kids. They know how to work the adults in the room.This is why even the most devoted, skilled teachers who really want to catch this stuff still say to me, “Why don't I see it? I'm trying so hard.”That does make it hard. And I say that because it makes it particularly hard for a school to respond if they're like, “We don't see it.”So, when you talk to the school, it's important to keep that in mind—that this stuff might not be visible.It's also important to practice that same humility, because often the school does see things you don't. They may have awareness of the different sides of the story.Schools are filled with human beings who are tired, and if they get a two-page single-spaced email from a parent at 11:30 at night with a call the next morning saying, “Why haven't you responded?”—they're not super psyched to work with you.Treating people like they're customer-service reps who are there to serve you—especially if you pay tuition—I understand why that happens, but you're going to catch a lot more flies with honey.Sarah: Than with vinegar.Rachel: Yeah, I couldn't remember what the insect was—but I think you catch more flies with honey.It's hard. It's heavy. It's a tall ask, because you're hurting as a parent—you're frustrated, you're angry, you're worried about your kid. But it's a really complex situation.A couple other ways to approach this: figure out if your school has an anti-bullying or behavior policy that acknowledges these more indirect forms of aggression.Also, I'd caution parents against using the word bullying unless it actually meets that definition. That's a big turn-off for school administrators and teachers when parents elevate something to bullying that isn't.Bullying is more of a protracted campaign of one person against another, typically with a big power dynamic. Most of what kids experience are acts of aggression, but not ongoing campaigns.So being careful about the words you use is important too.And then, see what training teachers have—what professional development they've been given around what to look out for, how to manage their classrooms.There was a long period in my life where all I did was professional development sessions for schools. We talked about, “Have you talked to your students about body language? About the power of rolling your eyes when someone speaks up, or laughing, or staring?”Those are silent behaviors, but they send strong messages. Many teachers don't have those conversations with students—and that's the kind of thing that makes a difference in communicating expectations.Sarah: Someone on the call just asked a question related to that. She's curious what you have to say about shame being used by girls as a form of aggression—especially middle schoolers.Rachel: That's interesting—when you say shame, meaning like trying to shame the target for something they've done?Sarah: Yeah, she says yes. Like rolling your eyes at somebody when they do something—that would make someone feel a sense of shame. She also said her daughter was shamed for talking to boys.Rachel: Yeah. So I think there's quite a bit of shame that both boys and girls experience.So—sorry, I'm reading the comments too—your daughter was shamed for talking to boys who came to their lunch table, and was asked to sit at a different lunch table?Yeah, I wonder if that's about shaming for breaking an unwritten code—“We don't talk to boys.” Which can also be rooted in cultural expectations around girls—like, “You're such a slut if you talk to boys,” or “We don't.”And so there's a way in which girls can police each other and shame each other by channeling messages from the culture that they've learned.What I have to say about that is that girls do become agents of the culture—and of patriarchal culture—that says, “You're not supposed to talk to boys because that means you must be sexual with them,” or, “We just don't like those people, so we're going to punish you.”Boys will do it to each other too—when they're vulnerable or show feelings.So, to support a girl who's going through that: if we think about the definition of shame, it's to feel like you are a bad person—that your core identity is defective.The difference between shame and guilt is that shame is about you, and guilt is about the thing you did.We're all vulnerable to shame, but I think tween girls are particularly so because they're both able to understand what adults are saying and still in a very self-focused moment in development. That's a pretty toxic brew.It means you can easily take on shame without fully understanding what's being said to you.So I think just really taking a moment to say, “You are a good human being. You are valued. You are loved. You're not alone.”You may not think a moment like this requires those words, but if your child is feeling ashamed because of those behaviors, it's important to remind them they're just like everyone else—in the best way—and that even if they've been othered or singled out, they're still part of a loved whole, whether that's family or friends.Sarah: Yeah, when you were saying that, I was reminded of something I did with my daughter that I talk about a lot—making sure our children, even if they're having social troubles or not feeling like they have friends or the friends they want—making sure they feel unconditionally loved and appreciated and delighted in and celebrated at home can be very protective, I think.And I've heard adults talk about that—who were bullied—and say, “The only reason I came through it with my self-esteem intact was that my parents made me believe this wasn't happening because there was something wrong with me.” They made me feel loved and celebrated and appreciated at home.So I think that's something for all of us to keep sight of too—if our kids are having friendship troubles—to do the work at home to help them.Rachel: Yes. A thousand percent. That has nothing to do with their friends.Sarah: Yeah.Rachel: Yes.Sarah: Okay, two more questions before we let you go. A question from a member who couldn't be on the call: any advice for making future friends once they've gone through a mean relationship?So this person's child is on the other side of a difficult elementary school relationship, starting middle school at a new school, and is finding it hard—maybe she's a little hesitant about making new friends after what she's gone through. Any advice about that?Rachel: I think you validate it. You validate the hesitation.And you also say, “Hey—do you notice how many people date and break up and then start dating new people? Or get divorced and marry new people? Friendships are the same thing.”We're not meant to have one best friend forever—that's a myth. People lose friends and also cut loose people that aren't right for them.Maybe your daughter's been through that—but remind her we're constantly regenerating new connections.It's okay to feel a little gun-shy or apprehensive. Ask, “What would make you feel more comfortable making new friends so you don't feel like you're exposing yourself too much?”Again, always staying curious, inquisitive—not assuming you know what's right because you're the parent—but asking, “What would need to be true for you to feel comfortable making this new friendship?”Maybe she's not comfortable socializing one-on-one outside of school for a long time and wants to keep it to school. That's okay.So being flexible and kind of flexing to where your child is, while also holding the line about the importance of continuing to connect—that's important.Sarah: Love that. My final question to you is one I ask all my podcast guests—and you can answer this in any context, not just what we were talking about today—but if you had a time machine and could go back to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Rachel: Oh my God, so much. Don't let your kid have YouTube as early as you did. That would be the first one.I guess I'd say that feeling out of control is normal—and you've got to learn to breathe through that more. Yelling isn't going to give you anything but a false sense of control, and it's just going to upset your kid.That's the truth of it. I think I would've yelled less if I'd been more comfortable with the discomfort—feeling like things were out of control and I couldn't manage or have the solution for something.Sarah: Love that. Thank you so much for joining us. Where's the best place for folks to find out more about you and what you do?Rachel: Find me at rachelsimmons.com.Sarah: All right. Thank you so much, Rachel.Rachel: Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Great questions. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Special Guest: Rachel Simmons Rachel Simmons is a bestselling author, educator and consultant helping girls and women be more authentic, assertive and resilient. Her latest release, Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy and Fulfilling Lives, due out today from HarperCollins. Her previous work includes the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl. As an educator, Rachel teaches girls and women the skills they need to build their resilience, amplify their voices, and own their courage so that they—and their relationships—live with integrity and health. The post How to Talk to Girls About Being Enough as They are with Rachel Simmons appeared first on Dr Robyn Silverman.

5/13/25: Rep Pat Duffy: Medicaid cuts, affordable housing & unregulated cannabis. Educ Collab Ex Dir Todd Gazda, underfunded schools. Jeromie Whalen: his friend, Columbia U student Mahmoud Khalil imprisoned in LA. Prof Carrie Baker w/ author Rachel Simmons: girls & women in charge. Duke Goldman: Red Sox Nation.

5/13/25: Rep Pat Duffy: Medicaid cuts, affordable housing & unregulated cannabis. Educ Collab Ex Dir Todd Gazda, underfunded schools. Jeromie Whalen: his friend, Columbia U student Mahmoud Khalil imprisoned in LA. Prof Carrie Baker w/ author Rachel Simmons: girls & women in charge. Duke Goldman: Red Sox Nation.

5/13/25: Rep Pat Duffy: Medicaid cuts, affordable housing & unregulated cannabis. Educ Collab Ex Dir Todd Gazda, underfunded schools. Jeromie Whalen: his friend, Columbia U student Mahmoud Khalil imprisoned in LA. Prof Carrie Baker w/ author Rachel Simmons: girls & women in charge. Duke Goldman: Red Sox Nation.

5/13/25: Rep Pat Duffy: Medicaid cuts, affordable housing & unregulated cannabis. Educ Collab Ex Dir Todd Gazda, underfunded schools. Jeromie Whalen: his friend, Columbia U student Mahmoud Khalil imprisoned in LA. Prof Carrie Baker w/ author Rachel Simmons: girls & women in charge. Duke Goldman: Red Sox Nation.

5/13/25: Rep Pat Duffy: Medicaid cuts, affordable housing & unregulated cannabis. Educ Collab Ex Dir Todd Gazda, underfunded schools. Jeromie Whalen: his friend, Columbia U student Mahmoud Khalil imprisoned in LA. Prof Carrie Baker w/ author Rachel Simmons: girls & women in charge. Duke Goldman: Red Sox Nation.

In this episode of "The Encore Entrepreneur," Lori Lyons shares unique strategies for maximizing LinkedIn's potential for business growth. Building on insights from LinkedIn expert Rachel Simmons, Lori offers over ten tips, including leveraging native video, creating custom URLs, utilizing built-in analytics, and engaging in LinkedIn groups. She emphasizes the importance of personal connections, optimizing headlines, and using LinkedIn Live for real-time engagement. Lori also provides a bonus tip on exporting LinkedIn contacts to create lookalike audiences on Facebook. The episode highlights LinkedIn as a powerful tool for networking and business development. Resources: Are you frustrated that your business isn't growing? "Messy to Magnetic: Unlocking the Secret to Effective Marketing" is a free course that goes over the top 10 mistakes small business owners make with attracting their ideal client and converting those clients to leads. Click here for your free gift!  Join Lori's private Facebook group - Make Your Marketing Simple. Lori interviews her guests in the group (giving you advance listening!) and has a community of small business owners just like yourself to connect and grow their businesses.  Join now!  Schedule a Website Biz Accelerator call. Answer just a few questions and Lori will audit your website for the ONE biggest change you can make to your site to get more clients.  Schedule here!  Connect with Lori

This week, Emily Bazelon, John Dickerson, and David Plotz discuss Donald Trump's fascism, disinhibition, and age; the state of young men in America with Rachel Simmons; and Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at the University of Michigan with Nicholas Confessore of The New York Times. Join us on December 4 for Political Gabfest Live in Brooklyn! Tickets are on sale now. And send us your Conundrums at slate.com/conundrum. For this week's Slate Plus bonus episode, Emily, John, and David talk about Elon Musk following Donald Trump.    In the latest Gabfest Reads, John talks with Dan Harris about his book, 10% Happier 10th Anniversary Edition: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works – A True Story.    Email your chatters, questions, and comments to gabfest@slate.com. (Messages may be referenced by name unless the writer stipulates otherwise.) Podcast production by Cheyna Roth Research by Julie Huygen   Want more Political Gabfest? Join Slate Plus to unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. You can subscribe directly from the Political Gabfest show page on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Or visit slate.com/gabfestplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Emily Bazelon, John Dickerson, and David Plotz discuss Donald Trump's fascism, disinhibition, and age; the state of young men in America with Rachel Simmons; and Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at the University of Michigan with Nicholas Confessore of The New York Times. Join us on December 4 for Political Gabfest Live in Brooklyn! Tickets are on sale now. And send us your Conundrums at slate.com/conundrum. For this week's Slate Plus bonus episode, Emily, John, and David talk about Elon Musk following Donald Trump.    In the latest Gabfest Reads, John talks with Dan Harris about his book, 10% Happier 10th Anniversary Edition: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works – A True Story.    Email your chatters, questions, and comments to gabfest@slate.com. (Messages may be referenced by name unless the writer stipulates otherwise.) Podcast production by Cheyna Roth Research by Julie Huygen   Want more Political Gabfest? Join Slate Plus to unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. You can subscribe directly from the Political Gabfest show page on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Or visit slate.com/gabfestplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Emily Bazelon, John Dickerson, and David Plotz discuss Donald Trump's fascism, disinhibition, and age; the state of young men in America with Rachel Simmons; and Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at the University of Michigan with Nicholas Confessore of The New York Times. Join us on December 4 for Political Gabfest Live in Brooklyn! Tickets are on sale now. And send us your Conundrums at slate.com/conundrum. For this week's Slate Plus bonus episode, Emily, John, and David talk about Elon Musk following Donald Trump.    In the latest Gabfest Reads, John talks with Dan Harris about his book, 10% Happier 10th Anniversary Edition: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works – A True Story.    Email your chatters, questions, and comments to gabfest@slate.com. (Messages may be referenced by name unless the writer stipulates otherwise.) Podcast production by Cheyna Roth Research by Julie Huygen   Want more Political Gabfest? Join Slate Plus to unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you'll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. You can subscribe directly from the Political Gabfest show page on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Or visit slate.com/gabfestplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From 2018- Rachel Simmons, author of "Enough as she is: How to help girls move beyond impossible standards of success to live healthy, happy and fulfilling lives."

A recent uproar blames tween girls for clogging the aisles at big box beauty stores like Sephora, lathering their faces with expensive skincare and makeup products designed for adults. A few of the brands have doubled-down, pitching their lotions and potions to kids living through a deeply vulnerable moment in their development, placing them in the crosshairs of social media influencers and savvy marketers. Girl-world expert turned corporate guru Rachel Simmons helps untangle this complex web of forces and offers some ways forward.Show Notes:Get 25% off your first order of Phyla, when you visit PhylaBiotics.com and use the code PUBERTY at checkout!Rachel SimmonsOrder our book This Is So AwkwardCheck out all of our speaking and consulting work at www.Orderofmagnitude.co and all our super comfy products at www.myOOMLA.comTo bring us to your school or community email communications@orderofmagnitude.coTo submit listener questions email thepubertypodcast@gmail.comWatch the full episode on Youtube!Produced by Peoples MediaTranscript Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Part 1 - Raven Jemison, Executive Vice President of Business Operations with the Milwaukee Bucks, and author of "More than Representation: The Cheat Codes to Own Your Seat at the Table," in which she chronicles her life as a queer black woman and the success she has had in professional sports administration. She is coming to Kenosha on Friday, October 13th as a guest speaker for a leadership event sponsored by KABA (Kenosha Area Business Alliance.) Part two: (from 2019) Rachel Simmons, author of "Enough As She Is: How to help girls move beyond impossible standards of success to live happy, healthy and fulfilling lives."

Three different women, who lead three very different lives, but all became villains...or did they? In this episode of Sideways, Matthew Syed explores what happens when we indulge in the darker, supposedly more "villainous" parts of ourselves. He looks at the TikTok trend for embracing your so-called villain era and what might happen when we shake off expectations and niceties. With comedian Chelsea Birkby, musician Mala Waldron, Amanda Lovett who became part of the hit TV show Traitors, Dr Margrethe Brun Vaage, and author and executive coach Rachel Simmons. Presenter: Matthew Syed Producer: Leigh Meyer Series Editor: Katherine Godfrey Sound design and mix: Rob Speight Theme tune by Ioana Selaru. A Novel production for BBC Radio 4

“How much do we need to do in order to feel like we are enough? And why do so many of us feel like we're not enough?”-Rachel SimmonsDo you struggle with feeling that you're never enough? Do you worry that your achievements never quite meet the expectations of those around you?My guest Rachel Simmons is an expert when it comes to the pressures that women put on ourselves. She is the author of Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy, and Fulfilling Lives, which teaches girls self-compassion as an alternative to self-criticism, how to navigate toxic elements of social media, and how to manage overthinking—important skills that hold as much value for adults as they do for young women!In this conversation, we explore the culture of effortless perfectionism that so many of us live in, the expectations that we feel compelled to live up to, and how to break free.In‌ ‌this‌ ‌episode of the Road to Seven podcast,‌ ‌you'll discover:‌The invisible barriers that contribute to the gender gap in senior leadership roles — and why women often misunderstand themWhy girls today are working a ‘second shift' on social media and how this impacts them in other areasWhy politicizing our realities can help to empower ourselves and the young women around usAbout Guest: Rachel Simmons is a New York Times bestselling author. As a leadership development expert and coach, Rachel helps people build their resilience, amplify their voices, and own their own courage. She serves on the faculty of the Google School for Leaders, is an associate with Cultivating Leadership, and co-founded the national nonprofit Girls Leadership.  Highlights:‌ ‌00:01  Intro03:05  Meet Rachel Simmons05:16  Political consciousness & gender gap08:01  Girls, anxiety & social media 09:31 “Culture of effortless perfectionism”12:47  Sharing our realities16:03  Tips for female executives19:39  Self worth24:28  Rachel's business story27:34  HBR story29:06  What she knows now & what's nextLinks:‌ ‌Rachel SimmonsRachel's BookFacebookIG: @racheljsimmons Celeste BarberIG: @celestebarber The Culture CodeTo work with me and make your next power move, visit here!Stay ConnectedSubscribe in iTunes for more episodes with great tips and conversations with women that are revolutionizing the way we do business - don't miss it! Join the Road To Seven Facebook group to meet other like-minded entrepreneurs who want to band together and help each other rise up.I would be grateful if you left a review on iTunes so that others can find and boost their business! Click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review.” Follow me!Instagram: @shelaghcumminsTwitter: @shelaghcumminshttps://facebook.com/ShelaghCumminshttps://linkedin.com/in/shelaghcummins

When things don't go the way we plan or hope, powerful feelings show up. Disappointment is common, and the smaller you are, the bigger it feels. How do we help our children learn to manage this emotion as they mature? In this episode, we talk about intercepting the most challenging (and annoying) disappointment reactions, like blaming, whining and sulking, and what to model instead. BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focuses on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING SOON: Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. Love your sleep! Get $25 off a deluxe bamboo sheet set from Ettitudes at ettitude.com/flusterclux BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/FLUSTER for their luggage, totes, and new diaper bags. Download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Go to Zocdoc.com/FLUSTER and Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Start Ritual today and visit ritual.com/fluster and add Essential for Women 18+ to your vitamin subscription today. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best family resorts in Mexico, Hawaii resorts, and best cruises for teens. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The recent ABC-TV show The Parent Test has sparked much discussion, so Robin and Lynn (skeptically) decided to dive in. In each episode, parents with different “styles” of parenting are given challenges to complete with their children, and then other parents sit in judgment. What did we think? Was it awful? Exploitative? Or surprisingly enjoyable? BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focuses on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING SOON: Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. Love your sleep! Get $25 off a deluxe bamboo sheet set from Ettitudes at ettitude.com/flusterclux BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/FLUSTER for their luggage, totes, and new diaper bags. Download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Go to Zocdoc.com/FLUSTER and Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Start Ritual today and visit ritual.com/fluster and add Essential for Women 18+ to your vitamin subscription today. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best family dude ranches, Hawaii resorts, and best cruises for teens. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We asked our podcast listeners to share embarrassing stories and, boy, did they deliver. Humiliating moments happen to everyone, but as you'll notice with the stories we share, often feel so much more devastating to tweens and teens. Avoiding embarrassment isn't possible, but helping your kids get through it with empathy and humor is. BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING SOON: Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. Love your sleep! Get $25 off a deluxe bamboo sheet set from Ettitudes at ettitude.com/flusterclux BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/FLUSTER for their luggage, totes, and new diaper bags. Download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Go to Zocdoc.com/FLUSTER and Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Start Ritual today and visit ritual.com/fluster and add Essential for Women 18+ to your vitamin subscription today. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best family dude ranches, Hawaii resorts, and best cruises for teens. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does you child freak out when it's time for a shot? Or a blood draw? A strep test? And what about more extensive treatments? We've been getting many questions about how to approach this common and powerful fear. In this episode, Lynn the Fainter describes how to use breathing, disconnection, and the amazing power of the imagination to help kids and parents handle the unpleasantness and sometimes downright terror of medical procedures.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING IN JANUARY! Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. Love your sleep! Get $25 off a deluxe bamboo sheet set from Ettitudes at ettitude.com/flusterclux BÉIS is offering our listeners 15% off your first purchase by visiting BEISTRAVEL.com/FLUSTER for their luggage, totes, and new diaper bags. Download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Go to Zocdoc.com/FLUSTER and Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours. Start Ritual today and visit ritual.com/fluster and add Essential for Women 18+ to your vitamin subscription today. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best Texas resorts, Hawaii resorts, and Florida resorts for families. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Worries that show up at night seem to hold special power. They are discussed, analyzed, and often treated as a “going to sleep issue” instead of anxiety that happens to show up at bedtime. It's understandable. Problems at bedtime are magnified by parents' urgency to make sleep happen, our own lack of reserves at the end of the day or the middle of the night, and the material that the dark of night readily serves up to the worried imagination. How do we treat these bedtime anxieties differently than daytime anxieties…and do we need to?  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING IN JANUARY! Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best Texas resorts, Hawaii resorts, and Florida resorts for families. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a juicy episode— and a really important one for all concerned about the mental health trends with our teens. After over thirty years in the mental health field, Lynn addresses very directly her concerns about the messages teens are receiving, and articulating, about their mental health. It's time to be candid about toxic trends, misinformation, and where our teens are heading. Can we shift this paradigm for them? BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING IN JANUARY! Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best Texas resorts, Hawaii resorts, and Florida resorts for families. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Worry is a part of parenting and can help us plan ahead and problem solve. But when it becomes more constant, you may get stuck in a pattern of rehearsing for catastrophic patterns that aren't happening. In this episode, we break down the difference between worry that helps and worry that haunts. BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING IN JANUARY! Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best Texas resorts, Hawaii resorts, and Florida resorts for families. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We previously detailed the parenting phrases we hate (and why you should considering dropping them.) In this week's episode, we head in the other direction: the parenting phrases we love, how they help with emotional management, and why every parent needs to have a few in your back pocket, ready to use when needed. These help for your kids whether they are 3 or 33. BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. COMING IN JANUARY! Join Lynn and Robin for a special Anxiety Audit Book Club With Q&A where we will go through the book together! “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is   VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order and a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best Texas resorts, Hawaii resorts, and Florida resorts for families. Get $1.39 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com/podcast and entering code FLUSTER139.  Now's the time to try Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to earthbreeze.com/flusterclux to get started on eco-friendly laundry detergent sheets. Get $100 off of your first month with a licensed therapist at Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com and use code FLUSTER. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Habits can be good and bad, hard to start and even more challenging to break. Our brains like them and they often serve a purpose to self-soothe. To begin the new year, we dive into habits: how to break the bad ones and develop the good ones, and what to flexibly model for our kids.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a special offer, you can get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com and enter code FLUSTERCLUX. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Check out our lists of the best Texas resorts, Hawaii resorts, and Florida resorts for families. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For some families, holidays bring out their toughest dynamics. How do divorced parents manage a blended holiday putting their kids first? What if you have a house of angry teenagers with one of them recently in crisis? Is it possible to enjoy your holiday at home when all they want to do is fight?  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a special offer, you can get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com and enter code FLUSTERCLUX. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Don't travel to Orlando without our guides to the best Disney hotels, Disney's VIP tours, or what to know before booking a Disney cruise. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many listeners have asked for an episode that talks directly to teens. Here it is. With many high schoolers dealing with unhealthy stress, and worn out college students returning home for break, Lynn offers some concrete advice. There are myths to be busted, emotions to be managed, and skills to be built. Parents, you might want to listen in, too.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a special offer, you can get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com and enter code FLUSTERCLUX. Ritual is offering our listeners 10% off your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/fluster to start Ritual or add Synbiotic+ to your subscription today. Planning a family vacation in 2023? Flusterclux co-host, Robin Hutson, publishes Luxe Recess, a family travel magazine with honest reviews written for parents by parents. Don't travel to Orlando without our guides to the best Disney hotels, Disney's VIP tours, or what to know before booking a Disney cruise. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST.     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are rewinding and sharing a holiday episode we loved.  We interview Jane Isay. She is the author of the book Walking on Eggshells, Navigating the Delicate Relationships between Adult Children and Parents. She is a New Yorker from birth and gets right to the point.Have you had enough togetherness during the holidays? "Shut the door," she says. How about when the kids come home, how to make them happy? "Give them the keys!"And, wait until you hear what she said about her son who was Chief of Staff for Chuck Schumer's first senatorial campaign.  And just as a hint - it references Al D'Amato!!!! But there is lots more. Jane's bio is extraordinary. She's been an editor for over forty years. She discovered Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia, commissioned Patricia O'Connor's bestselling Woe Is I and Rachel Simmons' s Odd Girl Out, and edited such nonfiction classics as Praying for Sheetrock and Friday Night Lights. And of course she's written several books of her own, including Walking on Eggshells and her latest Unconditional Love. Jane's son is Dave Isay, the founder of StoryCorps. Here is a link to an interview for TED Talks he did with his mother.We hope you laugh out loud with this episode and love Jane as much as we did.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE (only 5 BUCKS and it means alot!) Buy a mug:  LINK HEREHoliday gift giving?  Think about getting something from Shapermint.  Lots of great items for your or those you are gifting!    Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Follow up on our social media platforms Facebook Instagram Twitter LinkedIn And remember - sometimes you might just have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!

Your child won't give away any old clothes, even though they are 3 sizes too small. Your daughter saves gum wrappers and broken crayons and stashes them under her bed. Are they hoarders? Or collectors? Is it OCD? In this episode, we talk about hoarding: what it is, what it means, and what to do.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a special offer, you can get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com and enter code FLUSTERCLUX. Ritual is offering our listeners 10% off your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/fluster to start Ritual or add Synbiotic+ to your subscription today. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST.     Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The term High Functioning Anxiety has been showing up, used to describe those that feel anxious but perform at a high level. Criteria are given, symptoms are listed. Is this a new category of anxiety and does this label offer us anything new?  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a special offer, you can get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com and enter code FLUSTERCLUX. Ritual is offering our listeners 10% off your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/fluster to start Ritual or add Synbiotic+ to your subscription today. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anxiety, anger— and even aggression— can hang out together. Remember, it's FIGHT or flight, and when we combine poor emotional management and a desire to avoid, behavior escalates. But even though we understand it, it's not a pattern to accept. In this episode we talk about how to recognize and help stop anxiety that turns aggressive.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. Ritual is offering our listeners 10% off your first 3 months. Visit ritual.com/fluster to start Ritual or add Synbiotic+ to your subscription today. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The term “boundary” is everywhere these days. The importance of creating and setting them is being discussed all over, from therapy sessions to Tik Tok videos. But what is a healthy boundary? We're heading into the holiday season with family visits, a perfect time for a bit of boundary talk.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode tackles the question we hear most often from our new listeners: how do I support my anxious child? Lynn lays out the three keys for parents: information about how anxiety works, owning family patterns, and moving away from the belief that your child's worries are unique and what must be addressed. There's a lot parents can do to help; here's a roadmap.  Referenced Resources For You: MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS The Physical Symptoms of Anxiety The Anxiety Disruptor Series (7 Short Episodes) The Anxiety Vaccine, (Parts 1 and 2) Developing the Skills of Prevention: Flexibility, Problem Solving, Autonomy How to Find a Therapist for Your Child BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we talk about exercise and anxiety and our moods. One of us loves it, and one of totally gets the value but compares it to a “cat being put out in the rain.” Most of know the benefits (although there's new research you'll want to hear), so how do you promote the self care of you and your family with the barriers that commonly show up? How do you still make it happen?  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We tackle the statements our friends and families use when they're staying stuck in their anxiety patterns. If you hear them or use them, listen up. We have responses ready to go. BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Use the code FLUSTER to get $100 off of your first month. Escape the dreary dinnertime rut! Try EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code FLUSTER149. That's up to a $110 value! Little Spoon makes this year's chaos a little more manageable with time-saving, delicious AND healthy meals and snacks you can feel good about. Enter code FLUSTERCLUX at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon order.  Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some parenting phrases are so common, they border on cliche. And a good portion of them push all of Lynn and Robin's buttons. In this episode we go after six of the offenders, phrases that sound harmless but are not. Listeners, you need to stop using them, and we'll tell you why.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Use the code FLUSTER to get $100 off of your first month. Escape the dreary dinnertime rut! Try EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code FLUSTER149. That's up to a $110 value! Little Spoon makes this year's chaos a little more manageable with time-saving, delicious AND healthy meals and snacks you can feel good about. Enter code FLUSTERCLUX at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon order.  Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get a $60 dollar gift while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most have heard of exposure therapy. If you're scared of snakes, wrap one around your neck! Afraid of elevators? Get in! Research shows that it works, but there's more to it than just pushing yourself—or your child—into the feared situation. In this episode Lynn talks all things exposure therapy. Can you do it yourself? How hard do you push your child? And why do many therapists avoid it as much as their clients do?  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. It's available for pre-order and arrives October 18th. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Use the code FLUSTER to get $100 off of your first month. Escape the dreary dinnertime rut! Try EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code FLUSTER149. That's up to a $110 value! Little Spoon makes this year's chaos a little more manageable with time-saving, delicious AND healthy meals and snacks you can feel good about. Enter code FLUSTERCLUX at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon order.  Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get eighty dollars in free groceries while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, a listener is surprised that her 8 year old is still having big meltdowns and asks if this is common in anxious. While we associate emotional meltdowns and tantrums with little children, they can happen at any age. Emotional regulation is a skill that we develop and work on throughout our lives. What can we do to interrupt our own reactive patterns, and how do we coach our kids in the skills of recognizing and then managing those big feelings?  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. It's available for pre-order and arrives October 18th. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Use the code FLUSTER to get $100 off of your first month. Escape the dreary dinnertime rut! Try EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code FLUSTER149. That's up to a $110 value! Little Spoon makes this year's chaos a little more manageable with time-saving, delicious AND healthy meals and snacks you can feel good about. Enter code FLUSTERCLUX at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon order.  Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  Join Thrive Market today and get eighty dollars in free groceries while helping a family in need! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST.

The decision when and if to begin therapy is often discussed, but the next steps (like when to stop) don't get much attention. The mom of a 19 year old has found therapy very helpful for her daughter, but, she wonders, when does therapy end? In this episode we talk therapy: the different approaches, why skill-building matters, and how (and when) therapy ends.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. It's available for pre-order and arrives October 18th. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Use the code FLUSTER to get $100 off of your first month. Escape the dreary dinnertime rut! Try EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code FLUSTER149. That's up to a $110 value! Little Spoon makes this year's chaos a little more manageable with time-saving, delicious AND healthy meals and snacks you can feel good about. Enter code FLUSTERCLUX at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon order.  Go to Bombas.com/flusterclux and use code FLUSTERCLUX for twenty percent off your first purchase. Remember, when you buy Bombas clothing, you are also giving to someone in need.  FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST.

Being in control sounds great, but what's the cost of needing to control every outcome? Children raised in chaos often seek control as adults. Those raised in highly controlling environments struggle to make decisions and handle uncertainty. Can we find balance? Is there a middle ground? Calling all control freaks, this week on Flustercliux.  BUY LYNN'S NEW BOOK, THE ANXIETY AUDIT Lynn's fourth book focus on adults and their anxiety. It's available for pre-order and arrives October 18th. Buy your copy of The Anxiety Audit: Seven Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them now. “Once in a while a book comes along that instantly changes the way you think and act for the better. The Anxiety Audit joins this club. I challenge you to put it down and not move through your day differently. Buy this book—it will guide you along the journey to being the person in relationships, and inside yourself, that you are hoping to become.”  —Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is  THE LATEST ANXIETY MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR PARENTS! MANAGING ANXIETY IN CHILDREN: A GUIDE FOR PARENTS This self-paced course covers the core tools a family needs to manage their anxiety, the same principles Lynn teaches to families in her private practice. This course includes 6 video modules from Lynn Lyons, LICSW, and 9 additional Q&A videos from Lynn and Robin of Flusterclux. What you'll get: Understand how anxiety works so that you can help manage your kids and your own. Learn what to say when anxiety shows up for you or your kids. For Kids: A special video that explains how anxiety works suitable for those ages 6 and up.  VISIT OUR SPONSORS FOR SPECIAL OFFERS JUST FOR YOU Join Thrive Market today and get eighty dollars in free groceries! thriveMarket.com/flusterclux. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $100 off of your first month with Talkspace. To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com. Use the code FLUSTER to get $100 off of your first month. Escape the dreary dinnertime rut! Try EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to EveryPlate.com and entering code FLUSTER149. That's up to a $110 value! You'll also be able to unlock a special offer of a free Metabolic Greens with your purchase of Metabolic Reds. Just go to getreds.com/FLUSTER to start feeling great today! Little Spoon makes this year's chaos a little more manageable with time-saving, delicious AND healthy meals and snacks you can feel good about. Enter code FLUSTERCLUX at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon order.  FOLLOW US Join the Facebook group to get news on the upcoming courses for parents, teens, and kids. Follow Flusterclux on Facebook and Instagram. Follow Lynn Lyons on Twitter and Youtube. New episodes arrive Friday at 5:00AM EST.

Rachel Simmons is a bestselling author, educator and executive coach who has been studying girls for more than two decades. Today she's sharing: The lie she says girls have been sold when it comes to success. Why it's important to learn the skill of failure. How girls and boys approach failure differently Why we need to start talking to our daughters/girls about gender bias and how they may encounter it in the world. Why we see so few women at the top in the corporate world.  The relationship between failure and leadership  The curse of being a “good girl” and how that impacts us.  Why you should try and make peace with yourself before having kids.

In this Fireside Chat episode, Leah chats with Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out, The Curse of the Good Girl, and more. Listen in for an insightful conversation that answers the questions: how do our girlhood experiences show up in — and shape — our businesses today? And what do we need to un-learn if we're going to be successful and happy business owners?Resources:→ Free Sales Strategy Guide for Consultants: If you're looking for a clear, easy-to-follow sales strategy for your B2B consulting or coaching business, get your copy of the One-Page Sales Strategy, and create a customized, focused strategy for your business, today: onepagesalesstrategy.com→ Get Higher-Paying Consulting Clients: If you're a woman running a B2B consulting business, learn how you can get paid more for your consulting contracts and attract more of the right kinds of clients at smartgetspaid.com. 

Today's guest is Launch Strategist Lexi Merritt. I first found Lexi on TikTok, and I'm just gonna say this upfront: if you're a creative business owner, or interested in launching an online course, or you just appreciate fun and relatable content from REAL people, then you're gonna want to go to TikTok and follow Lexi. Her TikTok is @leximmerritt. Lexi has worked in marketing for over 8 years. She was the Director of Marketing and Online Course Development for Rachel Simmons, best-selling author of books Odd Girl Out and Enough As She Is.  Lexi founded the Pretty Decent Internet Café, where she teaches creative thinkers how to turn their dreams and ideas into businesses.  Her two main offerings right now are a VIP Day, where she helps creatives outline a sustainable product or service offering and design a strategy to sell it. And her second offer is The Study, a private membership space for creative business owners, freelancers, and people who like to make things. I really admire the way that Lexi has structured her business. She gives herself a 4-day workweek, taking Thursdays off to have what she calls an “intuition day.” And she built her offers around things that she loves, which are teaching and working with other creative business owners. Lexi's content speaks to my soul, and I'm so excited to have her on the show. I hope you enjoy. Links and resources: Episode Show Notes and Key Takeaways Lexi's website: PrettyDecent.org Lexi's TikTok: @leximmerritt The Pretty Decent Podcast: Apple Podcasts Spotify Book: The Artist's Way

This is part I of our double whammy holiday episodes.  Part 2 will drop on Friday - that's only two days from now.  Today we speak with Jane Isay.   She is the author of the book Walking on Eggshells, Navigating the Delicate Relationships between Adult Children and Parents.  She is a New Yorker from birth and gets right to the point.Have you had enough togetherness during the holidays? "Shut the door," she says. How about when the kids come home, how to make them happy? "Give them the keys!"And, wait until you hear what she said about her son who was Chief of Staff for Chuck Schumer's first senatorial campaign.  And just as a hint - it references Al D'Amato!!!! But there is lots more. Jane's bio is extraordinary. She's been an editor for over forty years. She discovered Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia, commissioned Patricia O'Connor's bestselling Woe Is I and Rachel Simmons' s Odd Girl Out, and edited such nonfiction classics as Praying for Sheetrock and Friday Night Lights. And of course she's written several books of her own, including Walking on Eggshells and her latest Unconditional Love. Jane's son is Dave Isay, the founder of StoryCorps. Here is a link to an interview for TED Talks he did with his mother. We hope you laugh out loud with this episode and love Jane as much as we did.Thanks to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Visit our website at www.biteyourtonguepodcast.comSupport us:Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HERESome deals for listeners:Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Please stay engaged.  Let us know how you like the episodes and also let us know what topics you'd like us to explore.And remember - sometimes you might just have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!

When was the last time you did something that scared you? Not just bungee jumping or mountain biking, but even little fears, like talking to a stranger or asking for a raise at work? This week, Annmarie talks to author, educator, and executive coach Rachel Simmons about the importance of taking risks and exercising our “failure muscles.” Rachel reminds us that NOT being amazing is actually an important step on our journey to success.

In today's episode, Gina discusses the many benefits of using affirmations to help sooth stress and anxiety. A number of affirmations are included, as are tips for making your own. Get started today with this most useful tool to help yourself feel better!  Join the NEW ACP SUPERCAST PREMIUM AD-FREE MEMBERSHIP https://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com/adfree Listen to the entire back catalog ad-free and more! https://anxietycoaches.supercast.tech To learn more go to: http://www.theanxietycoachespodcast.com Join our Group Coaching Full or Mini Membership Program  Learn more about our One-on-One Coaching What is anxiety? Quote: Self-compassion encourages mindfulness, or noticing your feelings without judgment; self-kindness, or talking to yourself in a soothing way; and common humanity, or thinking about how others might be suffering similarly. -Rachel Simmons

Orlando is full of interesting and amazing people. It makes sense to hear from as many of them as possible in each episode of this …

This Orlando podcast has it all! Food, art, people, improv, business, publications, and Indiana Jones. Maybe everything is an exaggeration. If you like this episode, …

Taking a mindful approach to the college application process can help students have a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling high school experience. Rachel Simmons, author of Enough As She Is, which focuses on helping girls move beyond impossible standards of success, joins the show this week to help us take just this approach. In another in our Kindness Matters series, we'll look at ways in which kindness can have financial benefits to students in the form of merit awards.

Taking a mindful approach to the college application process can help students have a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling high school experience. Rachel Simmons, author of Enough As She Is, which focuses on helping girls move beyond impossible standards of success, joins the show this week to help us take just this approach. In another in our Kindness Matters series, we'll look at ways in which kindness can have financial benefits to students in the form of merit awards.