The Next Man Up | Equipping Fathers | Raising Men

After almost 5 years and nearly 250 episodes, The Next Man Up podcast is drawing to a close. In this final episode, Mark is joined by current co-host, John Gregory, and previous co-hosts Josh Wilson and Alen Auguste, as the 4 discuss their “why” for doing the podcast, favorite memories, and the impact they hope to leave on the men and fathers listening in.

Mastering the craft of fatherhood requires a number of things. For today's guest, two of those things are to rebel and create. Ned Schaut — husband, father of 5, author of two books and host of the Rebel and Create Podcast — joins the show today to talk about why those two words are so influential for him. We cover a number of other topics familiar to this show, including the much anticipated release of his new book and the impact he hopes it will have on young fathers.    Connect with Ned: Websites:  rebelandcreate.com adventureoffatherhood.com  Ned's TedX Talk Rebel and Create Podcast

Manhood and journey, two words used often on this show, come together to form an inspiration and movement for today's guest. Kent Evans is the father of 5 boys, the author of 3 books, and founder of Manhood Journey. He joins us today to talk about the work he's doing to encourage and equip fathers to pursue biblical fatherhood and why it's so important that men embrace the manhood journey.   Connect with Kent: Website: manhoodjourney.org Kent's books on Amazon

Guys, this is an episode for you and your wife. Author, podcast host and mom of 4 boys, Monica Swanson joins the show today to share some of her story and how she's helping moms (and dads) become better parents and raise boys and girls to become Jesus following character trained men and women. Monica's mom perspective is a great addition to the voices on this show and the resources she's developed will help you and your wife continue to grow as parents.   Connect with Monica: Website: https://monicaswanson.com/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/monicaswanson_/?hl=en FB: https://www.facebook.com/TheGrommom/ Character Training Course    

Who is the child you want to give to the world? That one question changed the life of today's guest, both as a dad and as a professional. Matt Barnes is a Learning Coach who helps parents grow Self-Governing, Self-Driven Learners. He's also a father of three kids, all of whom he describes as self-governing beasts. Matt is disrupting the way we think about education and inviting dads to take a strategic approach to the future men they are raising.    Connect with Matt: Matt Barnes on Linked In theeducationgame.com    Extended Notes: Most of our problems stem from how we think, which comes from how we're educated There's been an inversion of the primary place of education, from the home to the institution of schooling The institution of school is designed to encourage finding the right answers and regurgitating them Truth lies within the family; it is not up to the institution to define truth for kids; the key question is who decides what truth is? Media is the greatest influence in kids today; dads need to engage with that media and disrupt the messages kids are receiving; invite kids into a conversation about the message and the messenger Preparing self-leaders will allow them to learn their way out of any situation Matt's Key Question: Who is the child you want to give to the world? Noticing and working with your child's interest allows you to build a learning journey with them, for their own self learning and discovery The school room is uniquely designed to frustrate boys; Dads must engage early and often as the strategist for their son's life

Have you ever chosen a word for the year? Something to help guide you and provide focus as you navigate the next 12 months? Maybe you've never heard of this idea before. In this first episode of the new year, Mark and John get into their experience with this process, what it's meant to them, and how you can adopt it for yourself, for your marriage and with your kids as well.   A resource to use: https://www.fillingthejars.com/word-for-the-year/   Extended Notes: A word to help focus the next 12 months, different from goals or values Can help establish a fixed posture as you go throughout the year Over time, these words can build and capture your journey from year to year Choose a word in the way you typically make a decision, work with what works for you This can be a way to receive something Father wants to give you Allow the word to inform the entirety of your life Can also do this with your marriage, with your family, and with each of your kids If you do this, you must regularly remind yourself of the word; this activates the brain to help maintain the focus and receive what's there

Cancel culture is a topic that is current and deserves to be addressed. Bringing back a familiar voice is a good way to do it. Alon Auguste joins us again to do what he always does—speak into current culture with a timely and timeless message. It's almost a guarantee that you haven't engaged with this topic in the way Alon does in this episode. Which is why no matter your understanding of this cultural issue, this episode is a must listen. (Originally aired as episodes 170 & 171)

Craig Fullen, champion of the Joyful Mindset, joins the show today to talk about who he is, what he does, and his passion to become the best version of himself and help others do the same. For him, it is best encompassed in the idea of a Joyful Mindset. Join us for this great discussion with Craig. (Originally aired as episodes 98 & 99)   Follow Craig on Twitter @craigfullen

Our guest today is Rich Johnson. He's a husband, father of 4, pastor, yoga instructor, and you will soon see why he's someone who is easy to respect and admire. And he's a black man. Which makes him uniquely qualified to talk about race, both as a man, and also as a father guiding his kids through society today. Let Rich be your guide as we navigate through this big topic of race and racism. (Originally aired as episodes 115 & 116)   Instagram @richjohnsononline

Coach, pastor, and former counselor Twyla Stanifer joins the show today to talk about healthy manhood and identity. How to think about what healthy manhood is and how to engage women, at work and at home, from a place of health and security are just a few of the topics we get into in the first half of this conversation. In the second half, we get deeper into the work she is doing today around understanding how our beliefs — about God, ourselves, others — impact our actions and the results we get in life. We also get into how important it is to help boys understand how to identify what they're feeling and their belief systems in order to become healthy men. (Originally aired as episodes 111 & 112)   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/

Strategist, entrepreneur, teacher, author, and speaker Morgan Snyder joins us for one of the best conversations we've had on the show. It starts and ends with this idea of becoming, and 2 central questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming. This episode is a must listen! (Originally aired as episode 132)   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Website: becomingaking.com   Expanded Notes:  - Becoming is a central theme for men  - 2 key questions: Who have I become? Who am I becoming?  - Male initiation is part of our spiritual growth  - Every great story borrows from the gospel, which is meant to be the greatest story of our lives  - The image of God (imago dei) is evident in the power that boys & men display or pursue  - Initiation is about learning how to use that power to bless others  - The pocket knife as a metaphorical and literal demonstration of power  - We live in a world at war, where it's hard to be a man (staying true to the process of initiation)  - The magic of the kingdom of God is made available in everyday life

Life will bring you storms. It's not if but when. But whether you're in the storm or in pleasant circumstances, gratitude is part of establishing a firm foundation. Blending the real storm of hurricane Ian and this season of giving thanks, John and Mark explore the importance and benefits gratitude on being grounded and strong no matter your circumstances.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/

Music producer, award winning filmmaker, and man of God, Domingo Guyton, joins the show to share his story. Transformed from a troubled Boston teen to the husband, father, and follower of Jesus he is today, Domingo talks about how his creative gifts are being put to use, on mission, building relationship bridges across various communities and persevering with the vision God has given him.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Contact Info: IG: @thedomingoguyton FB: @domingoguyton Website: domingoguyton.com

When your son asks you what it means to be a man, what will you say? It is imperative that you have a standard against which you can measure how you're doing as a man and toward which you can guide your son. In part 2 of this conversation, Mark and John offer a definition to help you develop one for yourself or to advance your thinking on this topic toward a better one. NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Expanded Notes: Courage — The ability to face fear and adversity and not be overcome. Rather than retreating or hiding in or from the moment. Honor — The posture of respect and esteem toward others and a resolve to right conduct in your relationship with them. As opposed to being judgmental, arrogant or selfish in your conduct and interactions with others. Faith — Believing that we have a divine Father who loves us and is actively working on our behalf, for our good and the good of others. The opposite of believing we are nothing more than chance or relying only on scientific observation and not acknowledging the mystery or the unknown of life. Love — The decision to actively and purposefully pursue the wellbeing of those for whom you care for and have influence, including yourself. Rather than behavior that is focused only on self gratification and gain. Responsibility — The act of owning your choices and the consequences that result from those choices. The opposite of playing the victim and expecting rescue from someone else. Integrity — The resolve to be and live consistent with who you are and what you believe. Rather than being and doing in the moment what is easiest or most expedient to please or appease others. Strength — The power — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — to stand strong and not be moved. To know who you are and where you are going. The opposite of weakness which leads to compromise or the inability to be who you want to be or do what you want to do. Leadership — The ability to guide yourself and influence others toward a vision of the future that does not yet exist. In contrast to lacking command of yourself and not engaging in opportunities to influence and impact others for good.

What does it mean to be a man? How do you describe manhood? Is your definition one of a healthy and godly man? And, why does it matter? These are the questions Mark and John engage in part 1 of this conversation, to put a stake in the ground about how we define manhood and why it is such important work to do for ourselves and the men-to-be we are raising.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/

Often, God uses your own story and experience to shape the impact He wants to make through you. Such is the case with Bryce Bouchard. After a childhood in a broken home and a faulty understanding of manhood, he began a quest to discover what it means to be a man which shaped the course of his life. Now, decades later, he's guiding males of all ages on their own quest to become Noblemen.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   Noblemen Ministries: https://noblemenministries.com/  Email: brycebouchard@gmail.com    References:  Isaiah 3 Isaiah 32:8 Jeremiah 9:23-24 Charles Swindoll Great Lives book series   Expanded Notes: Key Identity Descriptors for men: Abiding with God, the center of the target Dialoguing with God; asking, listening and surrendering Love, Lead, Serve, Provide and Protect Developing those around you Portion of the Nobleman Creed: Be physically present and emotionally available Discovering your identity is realizing you are already part of the family, you don't have to earn a place

Mark goes off! A Facebook post on the topic of wives submitting to husbands is all that was needed to turn on the mics and address this head on. It's time to change the way we talk about this topic.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   References:  Tim Mackie on Ephesians 5 Ephesians 5 The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast 1 Corinthians 13 Land of Color, Show Me What It Means To Love   Expanded Notes: Shift the conversation from authority to love The growth moment for you may be to initiate the conversation with your wife What could mutual submission look like for your relationship? Men are called to go first, from a place of love and service The lane of authority will eventually lead to abuse Your struggles may be because of trying to live out teaching that just isn't right You may have opportunities to help other guys, simply by asking them how things are going Or, what would it look like for you to ask for some help from someone you trust? “Wisdom with love equals leadership. Wisdom without love equals manipulation.” Bruxy Cavey What is your example, your marriage, teaching your son about his marriage someday?

A gentleman used to mean certain things, like the way you dress or talk or how you carry yourself. Although we're familiar with the word today it doesn't hold the same meaning as it once did. It may not even be a consideration for dads when raising their sons. But perhaps it should. And an old manual from the 1880's might have more to say about the subject than we at first realize.   NMU Dads Group Signup: https://thenextmanup.com/dadgroup/   References:  Epoch Times article: https://www.theepochtimes.com/a-gentlemans-instruction-manual-from-the-1880s-explains-how-to-have-manners-general-rules-of-conduct_4488291.html Jeff Foxworthy You Might Be A Redneck If …   Expanded Notes: How are you training your son to become a gentleman? Some examples to consider: Well rounded in activities, including familiarity and appreciation for the creative arts Prepare them for the social settings they will encounter Discuss things like self awareness and non-verbal communication Help him know what to do and not to do with his phone Talk about the principles behind the “rules” or guidelines Encourage him to be present wherever he is Teach him how to respond — to himself and others — when he makes mistakes Tell your stories to your son, what happened and what you learned Intentionally introduce him to new experiences and then guide him through them Grow your own awareness as a father, with humility and learning

Tampa Bay Rays Press Box Supervisor, Dukes Knutson, joins the show to talk about his love for both Jesus and Baseball and how his path has lead to an integration of both. Dukes' brings his veteran experience and presence to our TNMU Clubhouse and has much to offer us younger men who are also wanting to follow Jesus and pursue dreams.

The names you use to refer to others, including your son, have tremendous power in the message they communicate. But when we're not aware of that impact or not acting intentionally for the good of the other person opportunities are missed. John and Mark explore what this looks like in practice and in helping your son become a man.   References: The Bible Project   Expanded Notes: Changing of a name can represent a line of demarkation, a transition from what was to what is or what can be; A before and after Whatever language you use to get your child's attention can become who they believe they are Old Testament era naming often had real meaning based on the circumstances surrounding the birth of the child Even Father God changed the name we know him by as part of expanding how we know him; From El Shaddai to Yahweh to Jesus How you refer to your son in his journey into manhood and after he arrives can be significantly powerful for him What about how you refer to him around his friends or as he becomes a father? How are you honoring, or dishonoring, your son by what you call him? How can you be more intentional with names and nicknames in the process of raising a young man? Discussing this with your son can be rich opportunities for connection and understanding

What is your image of Jesus? Not Jesus the divine. Rather Jesus the man. Where did that image come from? Does it inspire you or does it leave you wanting more? What if your view of Jesus the man isn't at all like he really was? Today's guest, author, leader and student of Jesus, Josh Khachadourian, is here to set the record straight about who Jesus really was. And, to help us see that he is the standard for manhood that we need, that we've been looking for.   Contact Info: Website: standard59.com Book: The Standard Podcast: Raising the Standard   Expanded Notes: Avoiding the prodigal path has much to do with the influence of parents and how you are raised There is no shame in a story that is focused on running a steadfast race which doesn't require a radical conversion Jesus invites us into an experience with him Jesus, as a human man, was the inspiration for Josh's book and a model for great masculinity Economic and social changes created a church culture that became more feminine and in turn lessoned Jesus' masculinity In contrast, Jesus came as a blue collar man, physically strong and deeply confrontational with truth and with grace; Jesus was strongly subversive Jesus shows us that real strength comes from within, a more courageous expression of strength 6 Major themes of Jesus' life captured in the book, The Standard, about how Jesus modeled manhood for us: Self Mastery Leadership Communication Empathy Strength Mission of Love Jesus provides an example for every man about preparation The key message is that grit and grind and intensity is not enough; you cannot live Jesus' example on your own

Today's guest is on the frontlines battling the effects of drug and alcohol abuse. After going from a strong, moral upbringing in Southern Oklahoma to a drug-related downfall that had him facing federal prison, Bobby Newman now works as an interventionist helping turn situations from tragic to hopeful. Bobby speaks as a former addict, a professional who helps other addicts, and as a father guiding his sons on how to navigate away from the pain of substance abuse.   Contact Info: Website: newmaninterventions.com Phone: 866.989.4499 Email: bobbyn@newmaninterventions.com   Expanded Notes: The stakes are bigger than just what happens in your family Drugs are any toxin that is taken into the body that can produce addiction Some positive things parents can do that reduce the temptation of drugs Watch who your kid's friends are Be a safe place for kids to talk about things Encourage your kids to interact with others in person, not just online or digitally Be an example for who you want your kids to be When to engage your kids on education? “It's never too early, it's only too late.” Communicate with kids in age appropriate language and content Help them understand that all drugs are toxins, even those which are sometimes considered necessary Suggestions for dads dealing with this in their home Give them information and space to wrestle with it Involve other influencers in their life to help Validate the positives even while correcting the negatives

A University of Kansas class prompts Mark and John to dig into the topic of angry white males. There's much that could be said here, with much of that likely to stir up additional anger or become too political. Ultimately the discussion distills down to and hinges on one key question, a question posed to John during a counseling session a few years ago.    References in the show:  Article: https://www.foxnews.com/us/university-kansas-offers-angry-white-male-studies-class Book: Angry White Men Book: Them Dog Video: Funny Dog Clip   Expanded Notes: Men's struggle with anger plus current cultural bias to outrage combine to make this topic more relevant than you might think At the core for men is dealing with anger, regardless of where it is coming from Part of overcoming anger is not feeding it This involves awareness and self reflection and owning our part, focusing on what we can control Anger is OK, it's an emotion; But anger doesn't have to have control Examples from the Bible: James 1:19-20 Ephesians 4:26 Moses (His whole story) Anger often emanates from feeling like we don't have control Key Question: What are you going to do with your anger? Part of being a strong man is learning what to do with your anger What is your safety value to release some of the pressure of your anger? Are you willing to risk releasing your anger to Father? Do you trust Him to handle it?

You are not only raising your son, you're raising a future husband to someone else and a future father to your grandchildren. How does that influence your fathering? Are you in those fathering moments today with an eye toward the end goal, who your sons are becoming? With John's probing, Mark shares some more from his story and what he's looking forward to down the road as his kids become spouses and parents to the next generation.   Linked In Post: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6941919286512816128/ Blog references: 4 Stages of Manhood reference article and Podcast Episode #157 How the Boy Becomes a Man   Expanded Notes: Meme “You're not just raising your son, you're raising somebody's husband, somebody's father. Raise your sons to be good men.” When you raise good men, they will be good men in whatever role they are in The process of modeling and teaching can't start too early You can be in the moments as they require, while still leading toward a bigger goal and vision for your son Opportunities to reinforce what it means to be a good man are plentiful and available for the father who is engaged Raise your kids to be adults and give them a good foundation to build upon Questions to ponder: If you're fortunate to become a grandfather, what do you want to see in your kids and grandkids? How are you raising your son to be a good man? If you could picture your son as a father or husband someday, how would that change how you're fathering him today?

What do Charles Barkley, golf, toothpaste and Amy Grant have in common? They all make their way into this episode about sorting through and cleaning up the voices in your head. What are the voices in your head? Are they helping you or hurting you? Once you figure that out, then what can you do about it. That's where Mark and John go in this episode.   Video References: Charles Barkley Interview: https://youtu.be/VkDq_6xlZhY?t=91 Charles Barkley Commercial: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMe6Lp4Ekbo    Expanded Notes: Everyone deals with voices in their head; It's how you deal with them that matters Some summary reactions to Barkley's interview: Too many voices leads to confusion, distraction and lack of focus Pick a voice and go with it The voices, the lessons, the practicing, can feel like activity when it's actually keeping from you playing the game. Or they can become the quest for the next thing that will finally get you there Check your motivation and adjust accordingly Determine who the best voices are (the top 1-3) and focus there Not all head voices are positive, some are quite negative When you fail to execute, which voice(s) helps you to recover Anticipate 'the errant shot' so that when it happens you know how to recover Book Reference: The Inner Game of Golf by W. Timothy Gallwey.

How do you define creative? Where does creativity fit within how you live as a man and how you father? What if there's more to creativity than you first realized? These are questions that Jeff Fajans helps us explore. Jeff is a husband, father and a passionate creative. From a Phd in Positive Organizational Psychology, to his work with entrepreneurs and leaders, to his music alter-ego of MrBoodaddy, Jeff consistently nurtures creativity in himself and those he impacts, including his son. Listen in to discover how you can too and why it matters. MrBoodaddy on Spotify Gifted 30-minute Coaching Call with Jeff - Book Time w Jeff (let's talk about your creative or entrepreneurial goals and how I could support you) How to Achieve Your Creative Goals - Jeff's course on Domestika will help you ignite your creativity and create a plan to bring your ideas to life. Instagram link of Hendrix belting out Walk This Way (Aerosmith + Run DMC style) Website: http://jefffajans.com/ Expanded Notes: Creativity is doing something authentically meaningful, purposeful or interesting to you as a person; an orientation to how you approach life There are different aspects of creativity everyone can tap into Creativity can be hard for men because of its connection to emotions or its association with uncertainty and the unpredictable Practice + Presence can lead to Creativity All dads should have a creative outlet because it brings more fulfillment to your life and allows you to role model that for your kids; and you can find ways to involve them with you Creativity isn't just for enrichment for your kids, it can become a master meta-skill for how they navigate life The creative process is very paradoxical, both open and exploratory as well as requiring discipline and implementation Nurturing creativity in your kids starts with providing exposure to a diverse set of experience, then build on what you see they are excited about Some advice to get started: Be OK with trying and experimenting; it's OK to get it wrong Use more questions with your son; Be curious and explore with questions Explore augmenting your son's reality to invite imagination and creativity Resources:  TNMU #208: Coaching Your Son  

Parenting and Stepfamily coach and expert, Amy Ambrozich, rejoins the show to talk about the challenges dads face in a co-parenting situation. From role disorientation to grieving the loss of what was to navigating a brand new environment, Amy gets at that struggles men and dads face and offers advice on what you can do. Whether this is your situation, or your buddy's situation, or you just want to learn, there is something here for you.   Save Our Sanity Group: https://bit.ly/dtplinks Website: https://www.daretoparent.com Email: amy@daretoparent.com    Expanded Notes: Amy's starting point for all parenting work: Family Foundation: Vision, Values, and Goals When Co-Parenting, consistency across the homes is best for kids The biggest challenge that dads in co-parenting situations face is knowing their role Men are often not allowed or encouraged to process feelings, especially grief Generally it takes 5-7 years for a blended family to feel like a family unit, and many couples don't make it that long because of how hard it is Discipline (and one's parenting style) is one of the key issues to be addressed in a blended family Transition from friendly adult in the house, to support partner, to taking more active role The age of the child matters Navigating the disorienting period of “what is my role?” Talk with your wife about what you're experiencing; be vulnerable Find something to do with the kids one to one Be supportive when kids are discussing their other parents (including grief from a deceased parent) Ease your way in and be open to the tension and the negotiating Realize that first born boys may feel like they're role is being replaced by you Assume a posture of listening and a curiosity mindset Dad, you go first, model what you want What parents wished they had recognized earlier: We don't have the skills needed to be a parents (we have work to do) We need to put our partnership first We should have talked about our goals first We should have given ourself permission to not know and ask for help Resources: Ron Deal, step-family author

A phone call from a friend who needed to unload about the circumstances life was bringing him led John to recognize that this friend was living out Romans 12. What does that mean? What is Romans 12 living? This is the ground Mark and John cover in today's episode.   Expanded Notes: Romans 12:1-2 3 key principles Consider yourself a living sacrifice Be transformed by the renewing of your mind Discern what the Father wants What if sacrificing for God is really in the innumerable little and mundane efforts to love and serve others? Being faithful in the everyday stuff matters Living Romans 12 requires us to cooperate with what Father is doing in us; we have agency and responsibility to do our part Perhaps the reason why you aren't hearing from God is because He's waiting on you to do your part in getting your mind right and surrendering your everyday activity to Him Possible prayer for you: Father, what are you wanting me to see or learn in this situation?

Parenting well is a big job. It's made even harder when your marriage isn't in a good place. What do you do if you find yourself as a dad in a marriage that sucks? How do you stay strong as a dad and deal with the difficulty of a strained relationship? That's what Mark and John get into with this episode.   Expanded Notes: Suggestions from a professional counselor Order — be clear on the roles of the family; help order the chaos Love — maintain connection; don't abuse the connection Value — ensure your kids' sense of worth and value; let them have their activities Hope — have something to look forward to; keep your word If there's nothing to build on, then you won't move forward Return to relationship fundamentals From Dr. Curt Thompson's work We all desire to be Seen, Safe and feel Secure You must do the work on yourself first and maintain your connection with your kids Dr. John Gottman's work Parents must become emotion coaches Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting Action steps: Fight for your marriage and for your family Continue to engage in your role as a father

Joseph Warren is an elite men's coach, a top-rated podcast host, a husband and father, and most of all a precious son of God. Today he joins the show to share his story and the recipe he's found for helping men go from angry & stressed to peace and purpose. This is a fast paced conversation with a dude who pulls no punches -- on his own failures and what it takes, and who it takes, to turn things around. To blow up some rocks. Joseph's book available for free: freepurposebook.com  1:1 30 min coaching session with Joseph: freepurposecall.com  Podcast: Broken Catholic Website: blowuprocks.com  OR  josephwarren.net Expanded Notes: The “rocks” represent the head trash or the things that are holding you back The 3 main lies of the enemy (the head trash) are: God doesn't love you God is not a good father and can't be trusted You are no good; something is wrong with you Men must be ready to receive the truth and healing before change will happen Joseph's 7 steps for mastering anger and stress: Outrageous ownership — I own the choices I've made Radical responsibility — I do what I need to do to clean up the mess Loving leadership — I go first Spiritual surrender — I give God complete control over all of my life Bold belief — I believe and trust that God is a good Father Powerful perseverance — I wait on God to bring my His best Eager expectation — I expect only good things from God As you come to know God more, you come to understand yourself fully; your spiritual nature changes and you become a new creation

Ceremony is not part of our society in the way it used to be, especially when it comes to the passage of a boy into manhood. Our guest today is tying to change that. Returning to the show for a deep dive into why we need ceremony is Eric Browning. Along with being a father and a husband, he's the founder of Sand 2 Stone which helps fathers guide their sons on their journey to becoming the men they were created to be.   Website: http://sand2stone.us Email: info@sand2stone.us   Expanded Notes: A boy needs a man to guide him into manhood; in a post-industrial revolution society this no longer happens naturally as a boy works along side his dad Ceremony happens in a sacred space, something different than common space; it marks something special and memorable As boys grow and mature, ceremonies help them mark those transitions and honor their increased capacity to understand and act A boy's relationship with his mom also needs attention, allowing for separation and transition, especially around the 12-13 age timeframe Rite of passage can either move a boy toward rebellion or toward independence; don't outsource the responsibility to guide your son toward his independence A good place to start is to gather with a few other like-minded men and fathers and start talking about what it means to be a man Additional steps include blessing your son, making a commitment (covenant) with him, model for him active faith in God, and then find a natural time in his development to call him into manhood Book resources:  The Power of Moments by Dan Heath & Chip Heath Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson The Manhood Formation Plan pdf resource

Guys have a knack for fixing. Or at least a tendency to try. This is a great gift when used with wisdom. But not every situation needs a fixer. And even when a fixer is needed, maturity invites us to see it doesn't always have to be us. This is what Mark and John — a self proclaimed recovering fixer — dig into in this week's conversation. Expanded Notes: The desire to fix is a gift that guys bring to the world The growth moment is being aware that not every situation requires a fixer Going straight to fixing results in missed opportunities, for learning, for connection, for failure, for experience, for empowerment Letting go of our view — as the fixer — opens us up to other options or perspectives The situation may need to be fixed, although you may not be best to fix it; Sometimes the fixer isn't a human being

Money can sometimes be that awkward or intimidating topic to address, both with your kids and your wife. And some of that may be because of the beliefs you have about money. To dive deeper into this issue Bob Lotich joins the show today. Bob is an author, podcast host, and founder of the award winning blog SeedTime. He's also a father and husband and knows first hand what it means to break unhealthy beliefs and form new ones. And today he's enjoying the work of helping others do the same. Website:  https://seedtime.com  Book:  Simple Money, Rich Life Podcast:  SeedTime Money Free Resource: Giving Tracking Tool Expanded Notes: Without dad's involvement, kids will get their financial education from other voices We inherit many beliefs — healthy and unhealthy — from our parents 2 big common problems within the church: believing wealth equals righteousness and believing poverty equals piety; A better way is to view money as a tool What is your definition of financial success? Does it align more with the world's view or God's view? Suggestion for making giving more fun: track it. When it comes to money tension with your wife,  fight to get on the same page together, to be in unity look for what's right or beneficial in her approach and be open to what's wrong or missing with your approach find a way to make talking about money more fun discover what's important to her and converse about ways to get there When it comes to debt, rather than good vs bad, a better approach is to really question your motive, which comes back to your heart As a dad, find ways for your kids to watch, listen and learn about money from how you work through this with your wife and in your family Ideas for you to help your son with money include, help him see he doesn't have to spend every dollar he gets pay or reward him for the work he does for you help him discover an excitement to save and to give let him make mistakes and learn from them

Evil is in the world. Recent headlines are evidence. So is what happens in daily life that never makes the news. As a dad, what is your role in navigating the topic and the reality? How are you helping your son to prepare for when he encounters evil? What are things you can do to be more engaged and proactive in guiding your son? This is what unfolds in today's conversation.   Expanded Notes: Exposure to evil is going to happen. What will you do when it does? Are you willing to engage with topics for which you don't have answers or on which you're not informed? If we don't help our boys find answers, they will look elsewhere Meet your boy at the age-appropriate level for where he is  One of the best things parents can do is recognize child-sized problems Engaging your son is part of how you can protect him (from lies and misunderstanding) and prepare him (to be a warrior who will stand against evil) Resources:  Frank Peretti books: This Present Darkness and Piercing the Darkness Louie Giglio book: Don't Give the Enemy a Seat At Your Table Acts 16, What is our posture as men when evil is happening around us?

Happy Fathers Day! Guys have a thing about hair. You know it's true. And as a dad, you may have had a dust up with your son about his hair. Why? What is it about guys and hair? Whether it's your hair or your son's, what does it mean when it comes to who we are? Here's a fun conversation about the topic, with some wisdom sprinkled in too.

My guest today had all the things many men would point to as success: business executive, angel investor, wealth and status. Yet what really matters to him today is the man he has become and how that helps him be a better husband and father. Stewart Roberts joins us to talk about his story, his recent book, and the work he's doing today to help men avoid the inevitable regrets from a life lived only for professional and financial gain.    Website: https://stewartroberts.com Book: Visibility: Playing to Win the Game of Life   Expanded Notes: At the top of the business game, life began to unravel and forced Stewart out of denial Being part of a community provided visibility into the struggles of other accomplished men The truth from a trusted friend pointed to the inside work that needed to be done Radical shift was required, but it was a long journey and required a lot of work of self discovery Your calendar will indicate what is important to you The change required a turnaround in all areas of life — spiritually, physically, relationally, emotionally There is not a place of arrival, it is only a daily process of growing SHIFT: Self, Health, Inner Peace, Family & Trade; Fill all 5 buckets regularly in order to be truly successful as a man A place to start is the morning routine, earn your breakfast Book resource: Tiny Habits

Who are you? What do you use to define your identity? For many guys, we use what we do or the things we own or even the people we're associated with. Yet what happens if or when those things are no longer there? If we're not grounded in something more, something deeper and core to our being, then we risk not fully knowing who we are. Join us this week on a journey of discovering you are more than what you do.   Expanded Notes: What do we mean by Identity? We are more than what we do or what we have We are more than the things that have happened to us We have immutable value because we are sons of Father God It is about who we are “I” identity represents the who that you are that is foundational and constant (i.e. son of god) “i” identity represents the way in which you want to live, your values and standards Fear holds us back from letting go of the things we think define us Growth happens when we choose to be uncomfortable What can you do to grow your understanding? Acknowledge the things or roles you have let represent who you are Grow your awareness of who you are that is more than those things Learn to become content (Philippians 4:11) Songs for the journey: No Longer Slaves Who You Say I Am To pursue coaching for yourself around identity, email us at feedback@thenextmanup.com

Coaching in athletics has been around for centuries. Coaching for personal development, on the other hand, is only a few decades old. Though they share the same word, they are significantly different. And the skill of coaching for development can significantly improve the way you father your son. If you want to understand what good coaching is and gather some tips to help you be a better father, this episode is for you.   Expanded Notes: What is coaching? Listening vs talking Asking vs telling Releasing vs fixing Use questions to empower your son to think for himself and discover new insights together Remember your child is not yours. You are stewarding a gift from Father. Coaching allows you to prepare and release your “apprentice” so he is ready to launch Tips for fathers to start coaching: Create the space to allow your son to talk while you listen and help him process Ask good open-ended questions. They generally begin with “What” or “How”. For example, “What do you think?”  or  “That's interesting, can you say more about that?” Books to grow in coaching: Change Your Questions Change Your Life, by Marilee Adams The Coaching Habit, by Michael Bungay Stanier   Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.

The story that unfolds on this episode is one that is timely and timeless. Mike Schreurs, an elder in business, in faith, and in life, shares his story of love and loss and what happens when God doesn't answer our prayers. It is a story that will draw you in, move you to emotion, and (hopefully) inspire you to live differently as a man, husband, and father.    Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   You can connect with Mike on Linked In or by emailing him at mschreurs@strategicamerica.com

Parenting from a place of fear is a way to gain your son's obedience. It's also likely to result in strained or severed relationship in the end. There is a better way to have a strong relationship and his obedience—parenting from a place of love. In this episode, Mark talks about the two acts of his fathering journey and the intermission between that made all the difference.   Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   Expanded Notes: Our default or initial mode of parenting is significantly influenced by how we were parented If we wish to change, we must first become aware Fathering from an insecure place will lead to a focus on obedience and compliance in order to validate the father More secure fathering will prioritize the relationship and allow obedience to grow from it In John 3:17 Jesus says, “I did not come into the world to condemn.” Parenting can parallel your understanding of who you are as a son of God When you are secure, parenting from a place of love vs fear, you can better meet your kids where they are and give into the situation what is needed most What does a loving response look like in the moment? Some practical tips: Don't react in anger; give yourself a “timeout” to settle down before responding Make discipline decisions ahead of time; define the boundaries and the consequences beforehand Focus on pursuing a love based approach versus a fear based approach

Whether you realize it or not, you have a problem with the F-Word. Not the one you're thinking of. The F-Word we're talking about is Fear. Men don't want to admit it but fear is a nemesis that can keep you from becoming all that God wants you to be. But overcoming fear requires a few things. Join Mark and John as they drill into the layers of fear and discuss ways you can overcome this enemy.   Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   Expanded Notes: Talking about the F-word is not typical or easy for guys Layers of fear: Surface fear — what you are aware of and willing to admit Deeper fear — what you are aware of but not willing to admit Core fear — what you're not even aware of The imposter syndrome can be an indicator of your fear Overcoming your fear starts with awareness Imagine what's possible when you admit to fear and seek out others who can help you What if we admit first to God and trust him to work on our behalf If your son were to tell you he's afraid, how would you respond? Speaking your fear is a way to undermine its power 2 Tim 1:7: For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. The goal isn't fearlessness; the goal is to not let fear be in control Jesus in the garden is an example of not surrendering to fear Closing challenge: Recognize you are most likely not without fear, even if you're not aware Possibilities abound when you move past the fear Are you willing to do the work? Zach Williams song, Fear Is A Liar To explore the 9 core fears more go to https://www.sightshift.com 

Helping men overcome pornography and sex addiction is not a popular professional path, but it is a calling that our guest, Dr. Eddie Capparucci, takes very seriously. He specializes in treating what he calls problematic sexual behavior and has developed his own recovery model based on his personal and client experience. Join us as we navigate again into the waters or porn, for your sake and the sake of your son.   Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   Connect with Eddie: Latest Book: Why Men Struggle to Love https://www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com https://abundantlifecounselingga.com Blog: https://sexuallypuremen.com   Expanded Notes: Eddie's sex addiction really began with porn at the age of 13 The source was an attachment disorder from feeling abandoned An encounter with Jesus in a church service led to a complete life change, including his career Seeing counseling patients that were like him resulted in a sole focus on porn and sex addiction recovery Addiction is simply a force within your life that has devastating and negative consequences in all areas of life Labeling sex addiction as addiction does not let the person off the hook because there is always a choice Pornography is sexual imagery in which people are being sexually objectified Whether images are actually porn or not is less relevant than the motive behind why the viewer is looking Porn users eventually reach a tolerance level, which leads to a need for something different, not just more Your secret is not secret; People pick up on your different behavior, even if they don't know about the addiction Shame is the biggest deterrent in guys seeking help A key part of treatment is to be in a group and discover that you're not alone The Inner Child model — the road to recovery goes through unresolved pain from childhood A negative narrative is part of the roadblock that keeps men addicted Core emotional triggers can activate the Inner Child and can signal an episode of acting out The road to recovery starts with admitting that you need help see a counselor certified in sex addiction work join a support community eliminate the source by locking down your devices trust God that you can overcome and be healthy As a father, be aware of your son's behavior change, like isolation and school work changes first and foremost, monitor your son's electronics; limit the time and access foster honest and open conversation about what they might see from their friends Resources:  Good Pictures Bad Pictures — Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr — A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds (for younger kids)

Your stuff as a husband and a father affects your wife and kids. It may be your bad habits or addictions or wounds from the past. Or it may be your turn around and the growth you experience. Either way, your stuff affects them, negatively or positively. Want to know what we mean and what to do about it? Join Mark and John for the discussion.   Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   Expanded Notes: What you ignore or avoid or work on for growth — negative or positive — affects your wife and kids Noticing what is feeding “your stuff” can be a great awareness moment Exercise your agency to avoid your negative triggers When it comes to deeper wounds, you will need to intentionally address it in order to heal Dealing with your stuff requires honesty and confronting lies you may have believed (for example, it's just a little [fill in the blank]) Your kids will notice your character compromises Book Reference: Live Not By Lies by Rod Dreher The positive side is this: as you grow and deal with your stuff, you can help others in similar work Ways you can deal with your stuff? Ask your wife (or those close to you) what your stuff is You must start with awareness and in humility acknowledge you don't know what you don't know Once you know, then you can ask for help Ask God to help you build your team of folks who can help you Share your story, where you've been and where you are, and listen to the stories of others

If you're like many guys, saying “love you man” to another dude, even a close-friend-dude can be difficult. Where does that come from? Why does it matter? Those are just a few of the questions that Mark and John get into on this topic. John's singing voice makes a surprise appearance. Plus, there are some great resources offered to help you along in this journey.    Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   Expanded Notes: Your intent in how you express love verbally is indicated in the words you use (for example: Love you vs I love you) The english word love is versatile and yet inadequate without proper context We each must go through a reconciliation with how we feel and express love in order to improve and grow We need to discover and learn the way to receive and express love as a healthy man Awareness is the answer. What is the question? Growing in your understanding and expression of love will benefit all of your relationships This work is hard but the benefits are compelling Your personal growth Your example for your son Sharing your story is a great way to connect with your son Suggested resources: The 5 Love Languages Love Like You've Never Been Hurt 1 John

The podcast returns with a new look, and new sound, and a new voice. John Gregory is joining the show as a co-host. So today, we get to know John a bit and set the stage for what's coming up in future episodes. Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney. To learn more about John, you can find and follow him here: https://www.facebook.com/john.gregory.965 https://johngregoryjr.com 

With this episode, #200, the podcast is wrapping up the Essentials of Manhood series and taking a short break for some retooling and remodeling. Join Mark for a look at this last quality of manhood to highlight — Faith — and then take a break for a few weeks with us while we prepare for you a new season.   Stay up to date with us through our mail list (sign up here) or our FB page @NMUJourney.   Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)   Expanded Notes: Episode 200 means it's time for a short break Also marks the end of the Essentials of Manhood series. Find the complete audio and written series here. Faith is “confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1) “It's impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6 The Message) 3 questions around Faith: What do you believe? Who do you believe God is? Are you living what you say you believe? Actions reveal beliefs 100% of the time Are you passing faith on to your son? Your kids are likely to do, and believe, what they see you do and believe Closing questions for reflection and action: How are you defining faith, through what you say and do? What is the story of your faith journey? Who are you becoming?  Have you ever written out or recorded your story? What is one step you can take today to grow in your faith? How are you shaping your son's faith? Have you outsourced this to someone else? If so, what needs to change?

There is much that society and pop culture have to say about love. But most of it falls well short of what love really means. Helping your son to understand love in a bigger and broader light is part of helping him become a healthy and godly man. In this latest installment of essential qualities of manhood, we tackle what love is and what it really looks like.     Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)   Expanded Notes: Love is more than feelings, it is an act of the will to care for and pursue the wellbeing of someone It's a way of being which becomes the underlying motive behind all we do 3 ways to teach your son about love: Love yourself — you will love others at the level at which you love yourself Love your family — this is obvious, but it is not easy Love your neighbor — when we love those who don't love us, we get a glimpse of the heart of Jesus Closing questions to ponder: Where is your understanding of love too small?  Where has your practice of love become too easy?  As a father, how can you help your son see love in a bigger light? 

This episode is a bonus 3rd segment of the conversation with Andrew Boscaljon in which he describes the rite of passage ceremony he orchestrated for his son. May it inspire you to build one for your son too.   For assistance on how, check out thenextmanup.com/forgingmen     Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)   Expanded Notes: Preparing your son involves self preparation as well Intuition and creative work brought forth a choreography to work with Key elements of the rite of passage Tokens or artifacts to refer back to Emersion in wildlife Eldership from prominent older men Tribal council — all men together for a ceremony Dinner table ritual

Vision quest, transitional space, death and rebirth, these words seem foreign, mystical even. They are certainly not the everyday vocabulary of a man. In sharing his own story, today's guest, Andrew Boscaljon, is inviting men to reconsider and rediscover these themes. Join us for part two as we explore these ideas and connect them directly to the process of becoming a healthy and godly man.   Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)   Expanded Notes: Transition meaning thoughts: I and Thou (book by Martin Buber) Stepping outside of self for a time, into the wilderness to receive something new for self and others Experiencing the spiritual, connecting with the presence of God Christ was standing on the Truth of a living God and bringing people into the center Key scripture passage, Isaiah 58:12, no man is too broken to rebuild for himself and others The topic of death and rebirth has godly design Scripture is full of the death and rebirth theme: Revelation 3:18, John 16:33, John 15:13, Matthew 13:44 Ideas and insights that are surfacing today: Less is more Just be and rest (being more than doing) Let's get started on mission I've been to the wilderness and have brought back a message for my people

Vision quest, transitional space, death and rebirth, these words seem foreign, mystical even. They are certainly not the everyday vocabulary of a man. In sharing his own story, today's guest, Andrew Boscaljon, is inviting men to reconsider and rediscover these themes. Join us as we explore these ideas together and connect them directly to the process of becoming a healthy and godly man.   Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)   Expanded Notes: The path to the Vision Quest started 5-6 years earlier Thru studying Native American rites and rituals, a desire formed to find a wilderness experience What did Andrew find in the wilderness? Ongoing communication with Jesus Experience of true humility (an ego break) Gaining vision for what's next Understanding how to have healthy relationship boundaries Often, when we're looking for God he's hard to find, and when we're not he's right there We are being rendered down, being perfected by Father Starving for love as a teen, Andrew heard the words of love but did not feel them This need prompted a quest to feel love, in music or friend's home's or saying “I love you” first Inherited passivity must be acknowledged and overcome

“Passivity has no place in the lexicon of true masculinity. None.” Do those words of John Eldredge reflect your life as a man? The way you're raising your son? If not, then this episode is for you. Listen in as Mark looks at where passivity comes from, what it looks like, what's at stake and how to overcome it.    Email us at: feedback@thenextmanup.com    Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)   Expanded Notes: 4 Big Questions to Unravel: Where does passivity come from? Forgetting our identity as sons of Father What does passivity look like? Passivity is agnostic to personality It's an acquired mindset It may also present in some areas and not others What are the consequences of passivity? Choosing to reject courage, action, initiative, leading Gradually ceding of ground to others, or even the enemy Your growth as healthy and godly man is stunted Your son will not have the model he needs to become a godly and healthy man Your family is robbed of the leader it needs and deserves Your marriage will stagnate or deteriorate Choosing passivity rejects God's design and desire for you How do you overcome it? Remember who we are Rediscover the Jesus way of the warrior Decide and resolve Upskill