Podcasts about jackie it

once more, we return to the world of zombies.... Written and produced by Julie Hoverson Editing and Sound:   Julie Hoverson [warning - foul language] ******************************************************************* Tammuz Corporation has barely settled back in as top producer of undead workforce, when something much worse comes out of R&D.   Cast List Fred - Leonard Streeper June - Melissa Bartell Dill - Mark Olson Chambers - Dave Marshall Dr. Plasmus - Kim Poole Landon Frost - Chris Barnes Pamela Frost - Julie Hoverson Doctor - James Sedgwick Nurse - Rachel Cavic Interviewer - Russell Gold Music by Kevin MacLeod of Incompetech.com Cover art by Julie Hoverson INTERLUDES: Cricket - Reynaud LeBoeuf, Julie Hoverson, M. Siero Garcia, Katy Fontenot Courtroom - Carl Cubbedge, Tanja Milojevic Champion Chum - Katy Fontenot, Rachel Cavic, Reynaud LeBoeuf Save the Zombies - Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard New Year's Head Swaps - Justin Charles, Crystal Dennis Life Insurance - Joe Stofko Big Bob's - Richard Summers Lecturer - Robert Cudmore Classroom - Janny Hilverts, Katy Fontenot, Sirena Carroll, Mike Campbell, James Sedgwick, Julie Hoverson Zombie Show - Gareth Bowley Survivalists - Dave Fontenot, Matthew McLean "Working Stiff" - Chris Stockett Edna's Chum - M. Siero Garcia Scam - Rick Lewis Zombie Lib - Derek Koch Old Zombie Spice - Morgan Brown "What kind of a place is it? Why it's a secret lab, deep in the Tammuz Corporation, can't you tell?" ***************************************************************************************   Project Top Hat Cast: [Opening credits - Olivia] Landon Frost, TV show host Pamela Frost, his wife Fred and June Doctor Plasmus, top researcher Chambers - executive Dill - less important executive OLIVIA      Did you have any trouble finding it?  What do you mean, what kind of a place is it?  Why, it's a Top Secret Lab, on the human side of the wall, in the world of zombies, can't you tell?  MUSIC SOUND      computer and lab noises LANDON     [on TV] I'm Landon Frost, and tonight on "the Z word," we'll take a behind the scenes look at how zombies are used in the manufacture of your dog's kibble.  FRED     How can they feed zombies to dogs? JUNE     Ambulates make the food - prepare it.  It's illegal to terminate them without "just cause." FRED     As opposed to "just cuz"?  [laughs] JUNE     Hah.  That's what "the Z word" is about - exposing the ways zombies are exploited. LANDON     [TV] You'll be watching this series throughout the holidays, and I'll be tucked up at home with my family.  JUNE     He's always busy.  Hardly ever gets to see them. FRED     Oh, boo-hoo.  This Frost guy gets to fly all over the world, cussing on TV, and making zillions of dollars, and he wants sympathy? JUNE     Don't forget taking his shirt off...  [chuckle]  But he's also a romantic - always talking about how he misses his wife Pamela. FRED     So?  He could retire. JUNE     Helping improve "life" for ambulates is like a crusade for him. SOUND     DOOR OPENS, CUTTING HER OFF FRED     [muttered exclamation] Oh shit! SOUND     CHAIR SQUEAK, SCRAMBLE LANDON     [TV] I'll be meeting my wife in secret at‑‑ SOUND     SWITCH, TV OFF DILL     [coming in talking]  We should be able to improve the bottom line. CHAMBERS     AND not expose Tammuz to any more... liability.  We are just starting to get back to where we were before Mrs. Skray's... DILL     Unfortunate accident? CHAMBERS     [grim] Breakdown. DILL     Ah. CHAMBERS     I need your personal guarantee this won't come back to bite us in the butt. DILL     If it does, my butt will have your back. CHAMBERS     What? DILL     uh... nothing.  Dr. Plasmus is expecting us. CHAMBERS     Plasmus?  What kind of a name is that? DILL     Dunno.  I only know results, and the good doctor facilitated the "crickets".  Look what they've done to help us get back in good odor over the last 18 months. CHAMBERS     [favorably impressed] MMmm. DILL     And now - [announcing] Project Top Hat! SOUND     DOOR OPENS SOUND     MUSIC SCENE CHANGE TV DUDE     [ON TV]  Do you ever have behavior problems with your ambulates? ZOMBIE     Grr. OLD LADY     [pleased] Cricket! TV DUDE     Do they sometimes seem to have a mind of their own? ZOMBIE2     [weird noise] MAN     [smug] Cricket. TV DUDE     Would you ever have them in the house without it? WOMAN     Around my kids?  Forget it! KIDS     Just CRICKET! TV DUDE     Yes, Cricket, the "behavioral reminder" Implant that reminds zombies to toe the line.  TV DUDE      [quiet, rushed]  Results may vary.  Some side effects may occur.  No guarantee of bodily safety is implied or express in the sale of this product.  Not available in all areas.  [up]  Get Cricket today!  Brought to you by your friends at Tammuz Corporation. SOUND     MUSIC SOUND     WALKING, DOOR SWOOSHES OPEN SOUND     ZAPS and SQUISHY NOISES PLASMUS     You're early. DILL     Uh, no.  It's - um - six? PLASMUS     It is?  Hmm.  Well, just let me finish this, and-- SOUND     BIG ZAP CHAMBERS     What are you working on? PLASMUS     Shh! DILL     [hushed] Sorry, the doc doesn't multitask.  CHAMBERS     What? SOUND     ONE FINAL ZAP PLASMUS     Done.  He means I do not work and talk.  When you have worked directly in as many brains as I have, you begin to value each function for its own worth, and not merely as a gestalt whole. CHAMBERS     Uh, right.  So are you ready to gestalted [get started] now? DILL     Gestalt isn't-- CHAMBERS     I KNOW. PLASMUS     It was a bit of a joke?  [small dry chuckle]  Am I right? CHAMBERS     Yeah. PLASMUS     I thought as much.  I fear that the humor seat of my own brain has probably been left a wee bit underdeveloped.  Oh well.  Could be MUCH worse.  I could have an atrophied hippocampus!  [laughs riotously] DILL     Uh, yeah.  [toady laugh] CHAMBERS     That would be unfortunate, indeed. PLASMUS     [stops laughing suddenly]  But you are not here for pleasantries.  You are here to see what I have wrought! CHAMBERS     Aha!  So that's the smell in here. PLASMUS     What? CHAMBERS     Rot? PLASMUS     [laughs] MUSIC      SCENE CHANGE to TV LANDON     What the fuck do you think you're doing?  You can't have rats in any ambulate work area, you moronic lavat'ry brush!  They may not decay, but can still be damaged - do you want to be the one providing your workforce with replacement parts every time rats gnaw a bit off?  Or perhaps rats are the only protein going in to your fucking kibble?  SOUND     MUSIC DILL     So now the doctor will demonstrate--? [hint] PLASMUS     Have you forgotten the name again? DILL     [uncomfortable] No.  no, I just was giving you a chance to - you know - take the glory. PLASMUS     You should have warned me.  [sigh]  It is project top hat for a very simple reason-- SOUND     METAL CLANK CHAMBERS     It looks like a top hat.  Original.  DILL     And what does it do...?  [hinting] PLASMUS     Stop doing that.  DILL     Sorry. PLASMUS     [launching into lecture mode] The ambulate workforce is sturdy, capable - albeit slow - and cheap, since all they require is chum, unlike human workers who not only need food, shelter, sleep, etc., but also WANT things. DILL     [muttered] Zombies want things too.  That's part of the problem. PLASMUS     Shush.  It is this volition which is the only real drawback to the use of ambulates for many sorts of work - and which gives rise to the various debates over ambulate sentience, and to use an inexact phrase - over their "personhood". CHAMBERS     None of this is news. PLASMUS     I am setting it up.  So if there was a way to mix the useful qualities of the ambulate with the mindless diligence of, say, a computer, wouldn't that improve their value? CHAMBERS     [interested] Yessss.... DILL     Of course. PLASMUS     So this mechanism will do that - replacing the corpse's brain with a limited function computer, only able to obey commands. CHAMBERS     You specify "Corpse"? PLASMUS     [pleased] Ah, you caught that.  [chuckles] Much like the pre-edict abortion debates, this idealization of ambulates leads to the nasty question of when, precisely, one goes from human, to dead human, to ambulate.  DILL     You've seen the courtroom reality shows. MUSIC COURT REPORT     We'll catch the plaintiff as she leaves.  Missus Feinman,  Missus Feinman?  How do you feel about the jury's ruling? MISSUS     Act of god, my eye!  My husband had a very clear "do not reanimate" clause in his will - but that doctor failed to catch him at the exact moment to remove the head and prevent reanimation, and now he's stuck.  MISTER     [zombie moan] MISSUS     I can't even have him decently put down, what with the iffy legal status of zombies.  [sniffles] COURT REPORT     [bland] You have our sympathy, I'm sure.  In just a moment, we'll speak to the doctor and his attorney. MUSIC PLASMUS     So we must catch them in that window - that tiny "between states" period when we can still legally treat them as objects.  CHAMBERS     And--? PLASMUS     Remove the head.  Once the head is gone, the body may yet convert, but does not move, as it has little sensory input to motivate it. CHAMBERS     You remove the head?  [Slowly gets it] And then you do - oh - ohhhh.  The Top Hat. PLASMUS     I see you are a quick thinker, Mr. Senior executive.  Yes.  The unit replaces the so-called "mind", by which we truly mean the physical brain, giving the animated carcass sensory input, all the while leaving complete control with the human controller.  CHAMBERS     Can the body re-animate, without the head? PLASMUS     Do you know how the ambi-twist works? CHAMBERS     The what? DILL     [muttered] The T virus. PLASMUS     No, no!  That is a trademarked name and cannot be used without possible reprisal!  DILL     Sorry!  That's what most people [call it]. PLASMUS     I don't want to hear it!  Besides, the ambi-twist does not make ravenous beasts.  Animates are gentle.  Like kittens. MUSIC COMMERCIAL AMB     GROCERY SHOPPING SUSY     Gee, mommy, Rolf pushes the cart real well, don't he? MOMMY     That reminds me!  We need to pick up some chum! ROLF     [eager zombie noise] SUSY     He knows THAT word! ANNOUNCER     Of course he does, but can he tell the difference between Champion Chum and the bargain brand? MOMMY     Is there a difference? ANNOUNCER     Just ask Rolf! ROLF     [sticky zombie eating noises] SUSY     [laughing] Oh Rolf! ANNOUNCER     Every zombie, every day, chooses Champion brand chum! MUSIC CHAMBERS     They're tame enough with the cricket.  If they were naturally docile, we wouldn't need it. PLASMUS     And with the top hat, there will be no need for the cricket.  Let me show you. SOUND     CAGE OPENS CHAMBERS     [horrified reaction] Oh! DILL     ugh [bland] PLASMUS     This stray dog was humanely euthanized, and the top hat was immediately attached-- SOUND     COMPUTERIZED BARK PLASMUS     We had to use a fairly large dog, so the top hat unit wouldn't overbalance it.  It was designed for a human frame-- SOUND     COMMOTION OUTSIDE PLASMUS     What is this? SOUND     DOOR SLAMS OPEN JACKIE     All of you!  Over by the wall!  [to june and fred] Get in there! FRED     Right, of course. JUNE     Excuse me.  Just - um - going through. CHAMBERS     Who the devil are you? JACKIE     I'm the one with the gun!  And I said over by the wall! DILL     She means it.  Move it!  Move it move it move it.... PLASMUS     But the dog-- SOUND     COMPUTERIZED BARK SOUND     GUN SHOT INTO CEILING JACKIE     And don't get any funny ideas.  I'm not alone. CHAMBERS     [reasonable and placating]  Tell us what you want. JACKIE     [almost a yell] I want you all over by that wall! SOUND     COMPUTERIZED BARK DILL     Already here! JUNE     Me too! PLASMUS     Allow me to-- [take the dog] JACKIE      Leave that poor thing! SOUND     COMPUTERIZED BARK JACKIE     That is exactly the kind of horrid monster we're here to put an end to. PLASMUS     Ah.  Activists.  [chuckling] CHAMBERS     Don't mock the woman with the gun! PLASMUS     Oh.  Of course. JACKIE     And what's behind here? PLASMUS     No! Don't!  It's not ready yet! CHAMBERS     What IS it? SOUND     CURTAIN OPENS JACKIE     Mother of god! MUSIC     SCENE CHANGE, AND then WUSSY POPSTAR     I know all of you have heard and most of you have enjoyed my hit single "walking away with my heart" about the plight of the ambulate.  ZOMBIE     [pathetic moan] POPSTAR     Too many of these poor once-human creatures are abused, neglected, and sometimes even abandoned to fend for themselves - forced to sell their bodies, bit by horrible bit, for the chum they need to survive.  Can't you spare just a little - the price of a cup of coffee - to help? MUSIC CHAMBERS     Just tell us your demands, and let's get on with this. JACKIE     [horrified]  What have you done to this man? PLASMUS     It is not a man.  It is a corpse. JACKIE     It's moving. PLASMUS     There's no one there.  As you can see, the computer has taken the place of its entire head, thus removing all chance of-- CHAMBERS     [hissed, annoyed] You didn't say you'd already done this to a human - [correcting himself] a human corpse, that is. PLASMUS      I simply hadn't got to that part of the presentation, yet. JACKIE     [distracted and horrified] But why? FRED     Hi-YAH! SOUND     THUMP, SCUFFLE DILL     Wow.  SOUND     GUN GOES OFF DILL     Stay back! JUNE     [indecisive but encouraging] Get her, Fred! SOUND     SCUFFLE ENDS FRED     Got her. PLASMUS     Can I have her as a specimen? JACKIE     You can't do that to me! PLASMUS     Of course we could.  We simply record that you died in an attack on our security, and your corpse will be ...recycled. JACKIE     NO! CHAMBERS     That's a bit much, isn't it? PLASMUS     [quiet] Drat.  [up] Heh-heh.  Of course.  Just a bit of - intimidation.  Hah.  Hah. DILL     Right. PLASMUS     What this young lady doesn't seem to understand is that there are many people who don't wish to return as a shambling, slow, and stupid ambulate.  Many would rather know that their mind - their "soul" - had been allowed to pass on. JACKIE     How the hell do you think you're doing that? PLASMUS     Cutting off the head.  The body is still useful - as you can see.  It can be of service to the living. JACKIE     The soul isn't in the brain.  The soul is - the soul.  It will stay around no matter what. PLASMUS     [derisive laugh] MUSIC SOUND     PARTY! BRANDON     And we're here on the dead side with the new years crowd!  They start a week early, since they know it'll take 'em that long to arrive!  Whoo!  ARIA     And the hottest thing this year is head swaps!  BRANDON     [prompting, not really questioning] Head swaps, Aria? ARIA     That's right, Brandon!  You know how zombies can cut off and attach body parts?  They recently discovered that they can swap heads!  They say it's totally the ultimate! BRANDON     Unless they sew it on backwards!  Man, that would be a pain in the ass! ARIA     Yeah, but at least you could see your ass! BOTH     [LAUGH] MUSIC CHAMBERS     Where's security when you need them? JUNE     I just called them, sir.  Apparently, they've had a number of ...insurrections. DILL     Must be how she slipped by.  JACKIE     You won't get anything from me! PLASMUS     I suppose you two will have to take her to the security office for detention. FRED     Gotcha. JUNE     Oh, me?  Oh all right. SOUND      SHE CROSSES JUNE     What was it she was looking at, anyway?  [horrified gasp!] PLASMUS     What's wrong? JUNE     [too quick, very nervous] Nothing!  I just thought it - he - it - moved. PLASMUS     Nonsense.  I haven't even woken the unit yet.  Get along. JUNE     [still nervous] Yes, yes of course!  Come on! FRED     What's wrong? JUNE     [growl] Post traumatic stress!  Get moving! SOUND     THEY LEAVE PLASMUS     Some people simply cannot handle pressure.  Come have a look at my human automaton. CHAMBERS     [slightly suspicious] He looks ... fresh.  DILL     Nice physique! CHAMBERS     You didn't - uh - kill him, did you, doc? PLASMUS     [laughs flatly] No.  He was killed in a car wreck, this afternoon.  His legs sustained some damage, but mostly superficial, and his head was completely severed.  CHAMBERS     How did you get him so quickly?  The notice to the family won't even go through-- PLASMUS     [pissed]  I could not wait for petty family concerns when this perfect specimen fell into my very lap!  And he is perfect!  DILL     Ew. PLASMUS     So I snatched him out of the hospital upstairs.  Besides.  He is an organ donor.  MUSIC INSURANCE     Do you wonder about your insurance coverage?  Concerned that you may some day cease to be human, and therefore void your policy?  We here at Practical Undead National Trust can fix that for you.  For only a few dollars a day, you, too, can have coverage that extends beyond the expiration of the body. MUSIC SOUND     HALLWAY, DOOR SHUTS, FOOTSTEPS FRED     Whew.  Should we go back, do you think? JUNE     [still bothered] I - I don't know. FRED     OK, what's going on? JUNE     Oh, Fred!  This is horrible! FRED     It was just a gun.  I don't think she would have shot either of us anyway. JUNE     Not that. FRED     Then what? JUNE     That body back in the lab?  That perfectly sculpted torso?  Did you see that tattoo on the shoulder? FRED     Not my type.  Sorry. JUNE     [very important and horrible] THAT was‑‑ [cut off with a gasp] SOUND     DOOR OPENS MUSIC LANDON     [outside, loud over background noise] You would think this was a prime place for ambulates - garbage reclamation.  SOUND      CRUNCHING EQUIPMENT LANDON     They don't mind bad smells, can't catch diseases -- and yet, most of the workers hired on at this particular municipal tip don't stay.  Let's find out why. MUSIC CHAMBERS     [gritted teeth] What do we do if there's a lawsuit? PLASMUS     [shrug] If they push it, there is an incinerator in the basement, and as long as we first remove the computer unit, the organic evidence could be reduced to ashes in a matter of hours. CHAMBERS     [annoyed, but not knowing] Do you even know who this person - corpse - is? PLASMUS     [shrug]  I read the driver's license.  Why? DILL     [confident] We'll fabricate records.  Show it was cremated by mistake.  Apologize.  Give the widow some ashes and a check. CHAMBERS     Sounds like you've done this before. DILL     [smug] Things... happen.  MUSIC BOB     Come on down to Big Bob's bob-o-rama for the finest in pre-owed ambulates!  We have 'em all from this big brute for heavy lifting-- ZOMBIE     [deep moan] BOB     To this hot little number, [hinting] nice for in-house work. GIRL ZOMBIE     [sexy moan?] BOB     Come on down this weekend, and my own gramma, an ambulate herself, will be here with her special milk and cookies!  Trade-ins are always given full greybook value. MUSIC NURSE     I'm so sorry.  There's been a little mixup.  He's... um... missing. PAMELA     [low snarl] As god is my witness, if my husband's body turns up somewhere - anywhere - on a celebrity zombie show, I will personally sue you, the hospital, Tammuz, and anyone else our lawyers can think of! NURSE     But I-- DOCTOR     What seems to be the problem? PAMELA     Are you the person I should be screaming at? DOCTOR     Well, I don't know about that-- PAMELA     Then you best point me at the right one, since some screaming is well overdue. DOCTOR     Just tell me - calmly - what this is about. NURSE     It's her husband. PAMELA     My husband's BODY, you mean!  [starting to move from anger into tears] I was informed of his accident, that he was declared [suppressed sob] dead at the scene, and when I come to claim him... [deep breath, furious snarl]  He's missing. NURSE     I'm sure it's just a paperwork snafu. PAMELA     AND I know how some of you bastards are about selling celebrity corpses!  Don't think you can pull that crap on me! DOCTOR     Celebrity?  What was -uh, is - your husband's name? MUSIC SOUND     ZOMBIE MOAN LANDON     This fucking pisses me off no end - look at that poor bastard. SOUND     ZOMBIE MOAN LANDON     Look at this hand.  Three fingers gone, from a bloody hazardous environment.  [up]  They may not be human any more, but you sons-of-bitches still have to look after these beggars! MUSIC JUNE     Landon Frost! FRED     What? JUNE     I swear it was!  It's the snowflake on his shoulder.  He got it for his wife! FRED     Oh.  That can't be good.  Should we ... tell them? JUNE     Well...he IS dead.  Nothing'll change that. SOUND     DOOR OPENS, MANY FEET COME STORMING IN PAMELA     I already have Landon's private security at all your exits, and will personally go through each and every room until I find him - so you might as well hand him over. DOCTOR     But, but.. PAMELA     First, you are taking Big bill, here, and I down to your bloody incinerator -and don't try to tell me you don't have one. DOCTOR     Why? PAMELA     So no one has access to destroy the [falters] the ...evidence. SOUND     DOOR OPENS, THEY PASS OUT AGAIN FRED     Is that--? JUNE     [fatalistic] Oh boy! MUSIC LECTURER     We must stop treating ambulates as objects and start treating them as people - people very nearly like you and me.  With a bit of practice, anyone can speak clearly and slowly enough for a zombie to pick up on it.  SOUND     ZOMBIE MOAN LECTURER     If we could only follow the moans and groans of a group of zombies, I'm sure complete and fascinating conversations are going on, right under our disinterested human noses. MUSIC DILL     [on phone]  So soon?  Well, I guess we move on to plan B. [pause] She is? [upset] oh. SOUND     PHONE DOWN CHAMBERS     What is it? DILL     I - they-- PLASMUS     Quiet, please!  Time to turn it on! DILL     This may actually be a very bad... thing SOUND     A COUPLE OF ZAPS SOUND     RUSTLE CHAMBERS     Is that it? PLASMUS     Do you need me to shout "it's alive"? LANDON     [computer noise, not quite speech] DILL     Ohhhh boy. CHAMBERS     Does that thing make it able to talk? LANDON     [machine, more gobbledygook] PLASMUS     Ambulates have always been able to talk.  They simply operate on a much slower scale than we do.  It is something about the brain synapses, the ambi-twist simply cannot get them back to normal speed. DILL     [prompt] They're how much slower than humans? PLASMUS     I said not to do that. DILL     I was just asking,.  Really. PLASMUS     They operate somewhere between 20 and 50% slower than humans.  That is why they have to be spoken to slowly. LANDON     [machine] Fuck you! PLASMUS     [chuckles] Or not. DILL     [gasp] Is it supposed to do that? CHAMBERS     I thought you said that removing the head should negate the personality. PLASMUS     I'm sure it is just something programmed in.  My computer expert has quite a sense of humor. LANDON     [machine]  What the hell is going on? PLASMUS     [worried now] Or... not. DILL     This was supposed to make it docile!  CHAMBERS     At least the thing is tied down. SOUND     RIP OF RESTRAINTS PLASMUS     [frightened] Or... not! MUSIC TEACHER     Turn to page 40.  The chapter on the ambi-twist.  Amy, will you start? [grade school students, who read more or less well] AMY     The ambi-twist was a genetic modification first pioneered by Tammuz Corporation. BOBBY     With the best of intentions, this benevolent corporation was trying to help people. CORA     To overcome the issues with tissue rejection and make transplants one hundred percent successful. DESMOND     But the ambi-twist went a bit awry. [after a pause] ELLIE     [whispered] You have to read more. DESMOND     nuh-uh.  Not my fault it's a short sentence. ELLIE     Fine!  [ahem]  The ambi-twist altered the genetic makeup of the intended cells, yes, but it did not stop there, instead running amok through the entire body and giving the cells a life of their own. FRANK     Most of the population now carries the ambi-twist virus, which has little to no effect on them ... during their lifetime. DESMOND     [spooky noise] ooo-OO-oo EVERYONE     [joking zombie groans] MUSIC NOTE     LANDON IS COMPUTERIZED FROM HERE ON OUT LANDON     Why so gob-smacked?  Where the fuck am I? SOUND     THUMP GETTING OUT OF BED, FOOTSTEPS PLASMUS     This is very bad.  DILL     It's coming over.  Let me guess, it can see and hear through the computer unit too? PLASMUS     [wry]  Of course.  What use is a unit that bumps into walls and can't follow orders? LANDON     Is anyone planning to answer me? CHAMBERS     Look, you.  You've died and are now property.  Just lay back and shut up. DILL     Oh boy. LANDON     No, you look here, you lump of festering dog turd!  If I were dead, and I don't believe it for a minute - I have very specific contingencies in my will.  PLASMUS     [chuckles] Speaking of contingencies-- SOUND     SHOTGUN RACKING PLASMUS     I would call this experiment a conditional success. SOUND     SHOTGUN BLAST MUSIC HUSHED MC     And the ambulate "Gracie's darling" is now approaching the steps.  This is a level three hazard, since it typically takes an ambulate several tries.  Oh!  She's on the first step!  Very nicely corrected a stumble and managed to stick the second step.  Ah, but she's faltering -- Momentum can only carry one SO far, and this is where balance truly comes into play.  [gareth bowley] MUSIC SOUND     DOOR SLAMS SHUT CHAMBERS     Holy cow! PLASMUS     [gleeful] Did you see how fast it was? DILL     You mean when it walked off with your shotgun?  I thought we were done for! CHAMBERS     Looked like it nearly took your hand off, too. PLASMUS     [dismissive] It's broken,  It's fine.  [up] We must follow it! CHAMBERS     Get security on all the doors! DILL     On it. PLASMUS     Try not to hurt it! CHAMBERS     Belay that order.  Take that thing down at all costs.  And definitely before it leaves the building! MUSIC SURVIVALIST1     I don't care how many times they take this feed down and report me - I ain't gonna stand by and let them goddamn walking dead take over.  Since every one of us as dies turns into one of them, ain't no way we can keep ahead unless we thin the herd a bit.  SURVIVALIST2     Hell yeah.  Now on the chart behind me, you see a human-- SURVIVALIST1     or zombie-- SURVIVALIST2     right, "or zombie," body with various areas marked in red.  Those are your standard  targets, right there.  The head is, of course, the primary, since the bastards won't stop walking without that being gone. SURVIVALIST1     Even that don't put 'em down right away, but if you can get it GONE-- SURVIVALIST2     Sure is funny to watch them bump into walls, in't it? BOTH     [laugh] MUSIC AMB     HALLWAY SOUND     ALARMS, RUNNING FEET IN DISTANCE JUNE     Why do I suddenly feel like a job change? FRED     I'll help with the resume.  Let's scat.  SOUND     RUNNING FEET APPROACH JUNE     Oh shit! [dragging him out of the way] Over here! LANDON     Run, you little buggers!  I'll blow your fucking pop stand wide open!  FRED     Holy crap! JUNE     Ssh!  Maybe it won't notice us! LANDON     What are you looking at? FRED     Too late! JUNE     Please don't hurt us! LANDON     Hurt?  HURT?  I'm going to ruin you snotty little gits! FRED     Ruin, I can live with. SECURITY     Stop right there! SOUND     ASSORTED ZOMBIE MOANS JUNE     Sock troops! LANDON     [machine] Is this some kind of a sick joke?  Turning THEM against ME? SECURITY     Lay down the weapon and come along quietly, Top Hat. FRED     Top hat?  What is he, a Batman villain? MUSIC MOVIE ANNOUNCER     He was a normal boring man. NORMAL MAN     Hey honey - be late tonight. MOVIE ANNOUNCER     With a normal boring Life. NORMAL MAN     Yes, sir, I can get that done for you this afternoon. MOVIE ANNOUNCER     Until the day he died. NORMAL MAN     Excuse me - I feel - my chest - urk. SOUND     THUMP, DROP PHONE, ERROR TONE MOVIE ANNOUNCER     Now he was to work his way back to the top, against all odds... Coming soon-- NORMAL MAN     [zombie moan] MOVIE ANNOUNCER     --A NORMAL MAN starring Justin Bieber and an undead Jim Carrey. MUSIC JUNE     [up, yelling] We're not with him! LANDON     Toady. JUNE     We DO work at Tammuz. LANDON     This is Tammuz? SECURITY     You have a count of 5 to put down the shotgun.  ONE. [continues] TWO. THREE. FOUR. FRED     Haven't you noticed the logo everywhere? LANDON     My vision is ... strange.  [musing]  Tammuz.  The one place I could never get into... FRED     Not surprising. SECURITY     FIVE!  Get him! JUNE     They won't shoot in here - too many things  might blow up.  LANDON     What?  Helping me? JUNE     I love - loved your show. LANDON     Don't be surprised if I'm back on the air soon. SOUND     HIGH PITCHED WHISTLE FRED     Ow! JUNE     What the heck? SECURITY     I said get him, you maggoty turds!  Why are you stopping? LANDON     huh.  Funny how I knew to do that. MUSIC NOTE     Ad also plays, under, at very slow speed - for the ambulates watching. EDNA     Edna's chum on the go!  Whenever you're out and about, and no time to get home and feed the ambulate in your life, drop round to Edna's Chum.  We have the best quality, tastiest chum around - hot and fresh, just like mother might have made.  Available for dine-in, drive through and even delivery!  MUSIC PLASMUS     They have him cornered in sector five, west corridor!  Checkpoint X-14.  I must reclaim the unit after they take the body down. SOUND     PHONE RINGS DILL     I'll catch up.  You guys go on ahead. CHAMBERS     Hah!  You're not weaseling out that easily. DILL     One sec [to phone] Yeah?  Oh brilliant.  That's just the cherry on top. SOUND     HANGS UP CELL DILL     [annoyed] Guess what? PLASMUS     [threat] I have a taser here somewhere-- DILL     Okay! Okay!  There's a woman upstairs demanding her husband's body.  And because this night isn't deep enough in the shit, I have a feeling she's related to-- CHAMBERS     Oh IS she?  [chuckles]  We might be seeing daylight.  Come on. MUSIC NIGERIAN SCAM     With reverence I am contacting you.  I hope you will overlook my poor typistry.  I am a recently deceased individual that managed to conceal a large sum of money before joining rank one of the walking dead.  MUSIC SECURITY     Tell me you saw that, too. FRED     You mean how he just, like, whistled and all the zombies trotted off after him like the pied piper of Hamlet? JUNE     Hamlin. SECURITY     Yeah, that.  Good.  Now when I make my report, you two can back me up. FRED     Oh, uh-- We were actually leaving. SECURITY     I don't think so. JUNE     Not Leaving leaving.  We have to get back to our -uh- posts. SECURITY     That's different.  I'll give you an escort. FRED     Oh, boy. SOUND      DISTANT FOOTSTEPS PAMELA     You!  You there!  I want a word with you! FRED     Us? JUNE     Him.  you. SECURITY     Oh, me.  Yes ma'am? PAMELA     You look like someone in charge here.  You will tell me where my husband's body is! JUNE     Oh that.  He went thataway. PAMELA     WHAT? MUSIC ZOMBIE LIB     If you can understand this, you are one of us, my zombie brother or sister.  Come to the house with three crescent moons over the door, and we will guide you safely to our side of the wall.  Liberty for all! MUSIC SOUND     SHOTGUN SHOT INTO CEILING LANDON     I'm done fucking around.  You let us past, or the next shot brings you to OUR bloody side! COP     I can't!  I-- the door is on autolock!  Please, uh, mister - I got a wife and kids-- LANDON     You stupid little shit!  I have - had a wife to, but whatever genius did this-- PAMELA     [off a bit] Landon? LANDON     Oh my god.  Pamela? PAMELA     What did they-- [more concerned than panic] your head! LANDON     It's some insane experiment.  I'm dead. PAMELA     You can still see and hear me?  [wonder]  But you're not slowed? LANDON     Yes, I-- [REMEMBER STUPID ZOMBIE DOG ALL THIS TIME] COP     Sorry, sir, but I have to-- SOUND     SHOT ZOMBIEDOG     Leaps in the way of the bullet, body drops and hat goes flying, COP     Oh, shit. LANDON     Give me a minute, dear. PAMELA     [furious] Give me your gun. LANDON     No need. SOUND     WHISTLE ZOMBIES     [attack] COP     I was - I didn't - oh! LANDON     Poor stupid animal.  PAMELA     If not for that thing, you'd be dead. LANDON     I'll take this. SOUND     PICKS UP TOP HAT CHAMBERS     [coming in]  No, we'll take that.  Both of them, in fact. MUSIC ZOMBIE MAN     Look at me.  Now look at your zombie.  Now look back at me.  Your zombie will never look as good as me, but it can smell as good as me, with special deodorant soap from--[danar?] MUSIC FRED     [quiet] back away, quietly. JUNE     [quiet] If we can just get past the corner... LANDON     Who the fuck do you think you are? FRED     Helps that he's keeping their attention. CHAMBERS     We're the owners of that gadget you're currently wearing, and we want it back.  YOU, on the other hand, are expendable. LANDON     And you think I'm afraid of your gun?  If anyone knows how durable the undead are, I should bloody well think it was me. FRED     [quiet] I'm clear! JUNE     Just a bit more... SOUND     GUNSHOT CHAMBERS     The next one goes into HER. JUNE     [off] Her?  [gasp, then relieved] Oh - her - his wife. LANDON     You wouldn't. PLASMUS     You might want to consider-- CHAMBERS     Shut up - this is all your fault anyway. PLASMUS     But-- LANDON     Get behind me, dearest. PAMELA     He can't be mad enough to shoot me! CHAMBERS     Oh, I'm flipping furious, lady!  LANDON     She doesn't mean that kind of "MAD", you festering moronic baboon! MUSIC INTERVIEWER     We have an interview with someone actually on the scene.  What precisely was going on? JUNE     It was pandemonium!  The ambulates were just walking away after the ... uh, stranger. Interviewer     Like the pied piper of hamlin? JUNE     Or like spartacus. FRED     And when Mr. Chambers - I mean the defendant - shot Mrs. Frost-- JUNE     We're not supposed to talk about that! FRED     That's why they're pixilating our faces, isn't it? JUNE     That's next week's interveiw - this one is live! FRED     Oh shit.  Oh! INTERVIEWER     Now that you've started, you might as well finish.  What happened next? JUNE     [exasperated sigh] There goes our exclusive! MUSIC SOUND     GUNSHOT LANDON     Bastards! SOUND     HIGH PITCHED WHISTLE SOUND     ZOMBIE MOANS IN RESPONSE LANDON     [snarl] Bring me THAT one! PLASMUS     Which?  Oh! CHAMBERS     Stay back! PAMELA     [expiring]  Landon?  It hurts! LANDON     Hold on, dearest.  Keep breathing.  SOUND     GUNSHOT SOUND     ZOMBIE MOANS CHAMBERS     Get out of my way, you maggots! FRED     Come ON, June! JUNE     I have to see how it ends! SOUND     GUN SHOT JUNE     [gasp]  Or not! SOUND     ZOMBIES MOAN PLASMUS     Let go! don't touch me!  Ew!  Does anyone have some purell? PAMELA     [very weak]  Landon?  What- [gasp] what are you thinking? LANDON     Is it hard to implant the top hat device? PLASMUS     It's quite simple really - the connections are made remotely inside the wiring, so the longer it is on, the more enmeshed the interfaces become-- LANDON     Take this. SOUND     CLANG OF DOG'S UNIT PLASMUS     What do you--?  [realizing] Oh. MUSIC INTERVIEWER     But the zombies didn't harm Mr. Chambers? JUNE     He wanted - Landon wanted for him to stand in a human court for trial.  FRED     He said something about rotting in hell, but his accent was getting really thick. JUNE     He was crying! FRED     He's a computer.  I mean, the voice, at least, is computerized.  Why would it get choked up? INTERVIEWER     [to camera] Even now, Chambers is standing trial for the murder of Mrs. Pamela Frost.  While the videographic evidence is very convincing, the lack of an actual body has been a point hammered on by the defense. MUSIC SOUND     CRACKLE of STATIC, THEN FOCUS SOUND     [both are clearly computerized] LANDON     Can't broadcast too long, don't want you to trace us. PAMELA     We want to reach out to everyone who has been affected by the blight that is Tammuz. LANDON     Know this - relief is coming soon.  For now, just walk away, wherever you are.  We'll find you. PAMELA     And Merry Christmas, everyone. SOUND     HIGH PITCHED WHISTLE SOUND     ZOMBIE MOANS FILL SOUNDSCAPE END

Jackie's first birth was a beautiful, well-informed, planned gentle Cesarean due to breech presentation. After putting everything in place for a VBAC, Jackie was ready for it all. However, after pushing for hours on end with limited support due to the newness of COVID, Jackie consented to another C-section. Surgery didn't go as smoothly this time around, and Jackie did NOT want to be in that situation ever again. With her third, Jackie found incredible, VBA2C-supportive midwives who validated every birth desire she had. Since her first TOLAC was 48 hours, she knew a 2-hour drive to the hospital was no big deal. Until…labor came fast and furious. Did she make it to the hospital? Additional linksBebo Mia's Webinar Tara's WebsiteThe VBAC Link Facebook CommunityHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull transcriptNote: All transcripts are edited to correct grammar, false starts, and filler words. Meagan: Turn your love of babies and bellies into cash. If you love babies and bellies and want to provide care and support to families, then Bebo Mia's webinar is the right place for you. Get answers to those burning questions like how to be the voice you wish you had at your birth and how babies and families can be supported by doulas. Learn all about the different kinds of doulas. You can work in fertility, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, or just enjoy working with those squishy babies. Supporting families by becoming a birth worker, aka doula, is perhaps an option that hasn't even crossed your mind. That's why we want you to join this webinar. You can have great earning potential while doing something you love. Bebo Mia is the one-stop shop for education, community, and mentorship. Reserve your spot today at bebomia.com/freewebinar.Welcome, welcome. This is Meagan Heaton with The VBAC Link and we have a cohost today. I am so excited to start welcoming in some cohosts. These are actually our VBAC doulas and birth workers. Welcome, Tara. Thank you so much for being with us. Tara: Thank you. It's awesome to be here. Meagan: It's super fun. It's been something I've wanted to do for a long time and I thought it would be fun. It just adds some different vibes to the podcast. You guys are all over the world too so it's fun to hear your stories and your tidbits and what you see. At the end, we are going to let her share some information as well. Review of the WeekWithout further ado, we always have a review and just a reminder, if you guys have not left a review, we always love them and welcome them. You can leave them on Apple Podcasts. You can shoot us an email. You can go to Facebook and write one there. You can even Google The VBAC Link and leave us a review there. Wherever it may be, where you are comfortable, drop us a review. It may be read next on the podcast. Okay Tara, if you wouldn't mind reading someone's amazing review. Tara: Yeah, I got it. This is from Paige who reviewed The VBAC Course. Meagan: Oh yes. So not the podcast but the course. Tara: She says, “This course is as comprehensive and user-friendly as it gets. The workbook is so beautiful and the information is so easy to find. I used the data pages more than once when interviewing providers and discussing hospital policies in preparing for my VBAC after two Cesareans. I felt so empowered and confident in setting myself up for a positive birth experience with these tools in hand.”So that's from Paige. Meagan: I love it. Thank you, Paige. Seriously, we have done a lot on this VBAC course. It's going to be continuing to update because birth updates all of the time. It is always updating. It is always changing, but for our VBAC students, I don't know if anybody is out there and has taken our course, I want you to know that as information comes in and as the course updates, you're always getting access to these updates. So excited, Paige. Thank you so much. Yeah, if you're interested in learning more and upping your VBAC game, then we have courses for both parents and birth workers who are wanting to find more information about VBAC and how to support VBAC. Tara, she's one of them. She's one of our VBAC doulas. We love to spotlight them and we are going to have them on the podcasts. We love our birth workers. We talk about how VBAC is something that is all over the world. I personally, as Meagan Heaton, cannot change the VBAC world alone. It's physically impossible, right? So between all of us birth workers out there and all of us parents out there learning about our options and advocating for ourselves and advocating for clients, it's going to help change the VBAC world immensely. So definitely check out the course if you are interested at thevbaclink.com. Jackie's StoryMeagan: Okay, Ms. Jackie. You are holding a brand-new baby. Tara: So cute. Meagan: Tara and I got to see this little squish when we started. Oh, I love it. It is perfect. You are fresh out of your VBAC after two C-sections. So excited. We know, we talked about it a little bit before we started. We know so many people are wanting stories about VBAC after multiple Cesareans and specifically two. So, Jackie, we would love to turn the time over to you to share this beautiful baby's story. Jackie: So I guess where you always want to start is why you had your first C-section. Meagan: Yep. Jackie: With my first baby, we lived in a rural area. Walmart in Canada was closer than Walmart in the States for us. Very rural. The closest hospital was about an hour and fifteen minutes away from us. There were three hospitals I could choose from. One was an hour fifteen, one was an hour thirty, and one was an hour twenty or something like that.So I did my research on all of the hospitals. I found the hospital with the lowest C-section rate because I was not going to have a C-section. I did all of my research, found myself awesome midwives who were going to work with me, and then I went in for a scan around 34 weeks to find out that my daughter was breech. Nobody in the rural community that we lived in or any of those hospitals would deliver a breech baby. I could travel three hours and deliver a breech baby vaginally, but I opted for the C-section. I figured it was the safest bet for where we were at. I cried a lot about that. My midwife was amazing. She comforted me because all I had heard was from my friends who had C-sections recently and how terrible their C-setions were. One of them got knocked out with general anesthesia and couldn't see her baby for six hours. Another one told me at the hospital she went to, she didn't get knocked out, but they told her she couldn't go see her baby in recovery until after she could move her legs after the C-section. Meagan: Whoa. Jackie: Yeah. I was crying my eyes out because I was like, “I'm not going to be able to see my baby at all.” I'm telling the midwife this and she goes, “No. That will not happen to you at this hospital at all. Those other two hospitals, I don't know what they are doing, but we will not allow that. Your baby will be checked over for four seconds right next to your head by the pediatrician and then she'll be with you. I will be in the operating room with you even though I don't need to be there.” I loved this midwife. She is an amazing woman. I absolutely loved her. I tried giving this third baby her name as a middle name and my husband was kind of against that. Meagan: Oh, that is so sweet of you. She must have impacted you a lot then. Jackie: She was amazing. I remember coming into the OR. They were getting me all prepped and laying me on the table. She comes in. She pulls down her mask and goes, “You can't tell who I am underneath the mask right now, but I'm here with you. I will stay with you the whole time.” I absolutely loved her. Tara: That's the best thing anyone can do is just be present like that. How many weeks were you, Jackie, when you had your C-section?Jackie: I had a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks. They wanted to make it a little bit later than that, but I wanted my child to be born on the 22nd, so I chose the 22nd. I said if I had to have a C-section, I wanted my baby born on the 22nd. My birthday is the 22nd. My husband and I got married on the 22nd and then his birthday is 2/11 which multiplies to 22. Tara: That was special. Jackie: I was going to have my baby on the 22nd. They were like, “All right. Well, we would like it to be closer to 40 weeks.” I go, “It's 39 weeks. It will be fine.” Tara: The silver lining of choosing the date is at least you can have a little bit of control over that, right?Jackie: Yes. Having a planned C-section I guess, made it easy. We were able to drive down the night before the C-section. Again, we were driving an hour and a half for this and they wanted us there at 6:00 a.m. So we drove down the night before. It went so smoothly. Everything that I wanted, I researched everything I could for a gentle Cesarean. I had a gentle Cesarean and they had the leads for the monitors on my back. They put the IV where I wanted it. They helped me take off my gown and put the baby right onto my chest as soon as the pediatrician was done after two minutes with her. It was a perfectly done C-section. Everything I wanted went well. Baby didn't leave my chest until my husband, I think, probably a couple of hours after I had her goes, “Do you think I could hold her now?” I was like, “I guess so.” They were great. They postponed any weights. They postponed wiping her down. She still had blood all over her. It was the perfect C-section if you had to have a C-section. With my second, it was the time of COVID. She was born in May of 2020, so a beautiful COVID baby. Her due date was the day after my first daughter's due date, so they are exactly two years apart. We planned it out perfectly with the dates so I had the two years that my midwives told me I had to have to be able to have my VBAC. Because of COVID, they started doing only phone appointments and if I went in, I always made sure to schedule my favorite midwife because I absolutely loved her. She'd be measuring me. She'd be like, “You're measuring a week ahead. You're measuring a week and a half ahead, no big deal.” She didn't have any concerns with that. At my 39-week appointment, I had it with the head midwife of the department and she got very concerned that I was going to be having a VBAC and my fundal height was measuring larger, like a week and a half, two weeks ahead at that point. She sent me for a growth scan that I had to have immediately. So I scheduled it. I think it was three days after that appointment. I scheduled it with the ultrasound people. I think I was 40 weeks exactly that day. I went in to the scan and I said, “Don't tell me it's breech,” because I had already been fearful that this would be a breech baby again. He said, “Nope, you are not breech, but you are measuring about 10 pounds for this baby.” I was like, “You've got to be kidding me.” I was freaking out because I knew they'd probably say that I couldn't have my VBAC because I was having this big baby and as a tiny, rural hospital without anesthesia on staff, they can't handle that sort of thing. He tried comforting me, telling me, “Don't worry. These scans can be two pounds over or under. You're probably having an 8-pound baby. Don't worry about it.” I was like, “Okay.” When my midwife got the results, the next day I was 40+1 and she said, “Nope. Your baby is measuring 10 pounds. We can't have you do that here. If you want, you can come in for a C-section today.” I said, “Well, I don't want to have a C-section.” I already had talked to the larger hospital that I would have to go to if I were to go. At the rural hospital, they were going to allow me to go 10 days past my due date and if I was going to be pregnant for more than 10 days past my due date, I had to go to this larger hospital. Meagan: Oh man. Jackie: So I had already had my phone interview with the MFM at the larger hospital. We discussed if I needed to have an induction because I was past the date by more than 10 days and they were all on board with that. They understood that it was going to be a VBAC. They were fine with everything. Actually, the night before, I started having contractions that I told the person in the interview about. I said, “Well, last night, I had contractions. This morning, they've gone away, but hopefully, I have this baby and I don't need to come to see you guys.”Tara: Jackie, can I ask you, what was the birth weight of your first baby? Jackie: 7 pounds, 2 ounces. Tara: Okay, so that would be a big difference. Jackie: I did have gestational diabetes with the first one. Meagan: That's still a small baby. Jackie: Yes, but I monitored my sugars religiously with her because if I did not have good sugar numbers, I would risk out of the midwives and have to be with the OBs, so I made sure that every little thing that went inside of me was the right amount of sugar and the right amount of everything, so I maintained my gestational diabetes with her amazingly. The second one, I did not get classified with gestational diabetes, but again, it was COVID and I was baking every single day with my two-year-old to keep her busy and eating every single new cookie we discovered and new bread and everything we were making because that's what you have to do when you're stuck in quarantine, I guess. Tara: Yeah, COVID brought on the baking for a lot of us. Jackie: Yeah, and most likely with gestational diabetes, it probably wasn't the best idea. Even though I had tested negative for it, I should have maintained those sugars better, I guess. The midwife called back and told me, “It is a 10-pound baby. It's not going to happen. You're going to have to go to this other hospital or have a C-section with us.” They contacted the other hospital. The other hospital called me back and said, “Hey, you can come in for an induction tonight. When can you be here?” I said, “Well, we've got to pack up, and then we can drive down there.” This hospital is about 3 hours away from us. I said, “Oh, it's going to take me 3 hours.” “Yeah, we will definitely have a bed for you in 3 hours. Come on down now.” So my husband and I drove down as I'm having contractions again all the way down there as he was hitting every single railroad track there was because that's what you do in a rural community. There are lots of railroad tracks. We get down there and they were going to check me, but then there was somebody actually having a baby, so the OB that was there stepped out and went and delivered that baby then came back in. They checked me and I think I was at 5 centimeters or something like that. I told them that I didn't sleep the night before because I was having little contractions and I was too excited to sleep. I asked for something just basically to let me get some rest. They gave me something in an IV. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it was a lovely concoction of something and I went into their birth pool/tub thing and just floated around all night long with whatever they gave me. My husband kept telling me that I kept falling asleep and snoring in the pool while he was there. He kept having to be like, “All right, let's make sure she doesn't drown now.”Tara: Yeah. I'm glad he was with you. Jackie: But I got some rest and that was nice. In the morning, they had me come out because they needed to do rounds or whatever and the new OB was going to check me. They checked me and I was at 8 centimeters. Tara: Wow. Jackie: I was basically told– also, they had been giving me Pitocin– I think it was at 2 is what they had told me– the whole night to get contractions going even though I already had contractions going. It was at 8:00 in the morning and they told me basically, “This baby is going to be a 10-pound baby. We are going to need to use forceps to get this baby out. You should probably think about getting an epidural now.”I thought, “Well, I'm at an 8 already and they always say to wait until you get to 6 centimeters. 8 sounds good. I'll get the epidural,” because the idea of giant forceps did not impress me very much. It sounded very painful, so I said, “Sure. We'll take the epidural.” I got some sleep from the epidural too which was nice, but then they checked me a few hours later and I think I was at a 9. A few hours later, still at a 9. At one point, the doctor– it must have been close to 6:00– came in and said, “Hey. You're still at a 9. We're going to do a C-section.” My husband is not very good physically with labor and birth and all of that stuff, but he is amazing at advocating for me and he knew what I wanted. He knew I wanted this VBAC. He talked to the doctor and pulled him aside and said, “No. She wants this VBAC. You obviously want to go home. You go home. We will wait three or four hours and we will reassess the new doctor coming in.” He has listened to The VBAC Link with me. He has listened to other podcasts with me and he knows. Meagan: Oh, I love that. That's amazing. Tara: That is amazing. Jackie: But he was like, “We'll see who else comes in. We will reassess then. She really wants this, so you can leave. Nothing is wrong with the baby. Nothing is wrong with her.” They were like, “No. Nothing's wrong.” So that doctor went home for the night. A new doctor came in. Three hours later when we gave him a timeline, he said, “Hey. You're still at a 9. We're going to do a C-section now.” My husband turned to me and said, “We took the time and we were still there.” In the meantime, between that three hours, I was looking up all of the different things that I could do. The flying cowgirl–Meagan: I was going to say, was there anybody offering any suggestions or saying, “Okay. This is why we think you are at a 9,” or “Okay, the front of your cervix is thicker than the back.” Was there any of that communication or was it just like, “Oh, you're still there?”Jackie: I'm blaming COVID still because nobody was coming into the room at all. Nobody would come into the room because it was the beginning of COVID, nobody knows with COVID what was going on. I had no nurses coming in. A nurse would come in every once in a while to make sure the monitor was on my stomach correctly if it lost, but other than that, nope. Nobody was coming in. It was basically me on Google figuring out what I could do. I asked for a peanut ball. I had the peanut ball, going back and forth on the peanut ball. I moved the bed around at one point. I called her in. I said, “I can feel my legs. Can I just get up and walk?” She was like, “No. You can't. You have an epidural.”Tara: Jackie, do you know how high the baby was when you were at 9 for a while?Jackie: Zero. Tara: Oh, so it was pretty well engaged. Jackie: Yeah. So again, I blame everything on COVID. That's what I'm going to keep telling myself not that it was the hospital or anything. I'm just going to say that it was COVID. I told the MFM I had this time about that and he goes, “Yeah. I think they just didn't wait. I blame COVID too.” I was like, “Thanks, dude.” Meagan: Yeah. You're like, “Thanks for validating me.”Jackie: Yes. Thank you for that one. So I ended up having a C-section with that one which, an unplanned C-section was not the best. The epidural I had was causing problems. At one point, it pulled out while I was in labor still. I didn't realize and I thought I was just being a wimp and being like, “Oh, I could feel this through my epidural.” They're like, “Oh, no. You pulled it out.” When I went into the OR, I told the guy, I was like, “I can feel my legs. I can feel everything. I could stand up right now if you want.” He was like, “No, you're fine. I'll just put more into this epidural. You'll be fine.” I was like, “I can feel everything.” I was arguing with him that my epidural wasn't working. He told me, “Fine. I'll put you under general anesthesia then.” I said, “No.” I was like, “No. You will not. I am fine. My baby is fine. I don't want to do this. Get me out of this OR. Get my husband. Get me out of here. I am not having a C-section if this is the way it's going to be.”I started yelling at him and he told me that I needed to calm down, that it was not a big deal, and just was the absolute opposite of the anesthesiologist that I had in my first birth who was doing everything she could do to make me feel great. This one was just arguing with me. So he told me if I keep up whatever I was doing and don't calm down, then he was just going to put me under general anesthesia. So I just yelled at him I said, “Fine. Cut me open now then. I really don't care. You're not putting me under. Just cut me open. I don't care if I can feel it.” So they tested it out and I couldn't feel it as much as I thought I was going to be able to feel it, but I could still feel it much more than I did in my spinal for my first one. They did the C-section. My husband was there and I got pain between my shoulder blades from the epidural and I couldn't lie down. He was telling me that he was going to have to strap me down because I was going to grab at my belly and I have to be strapped down for this. I was like, “My first C-section, I was not strapped down. They didn't even argue with me that it was fine.” He goes, “No. C-sections you have to be strapped down for.” So then when I started complaining about my back hurting and I couldn't lay down, he unstrapped my arms, that way he could turn me to my side and make it so my back wouldn't hurt. They took the baby out and instead of the baby coming straight to me, they took the baby and wiped her all down. They measured her. They did all of that stuff. I had my husband go over onto that side, which, he is really squeamish so he was not happy about being on the other side of the curtain. Tara: I'm waiting for the drumroll of the birth weight. Jackie: She was 9 pounds, 15 ounces. Tara: Oh, so they were pretty close. Jackie: Yeah, yeah. They were an ounce off. She was a giant baby. She was in the 99th percentile in head, height, and weight, and she has maintained that 99th percentile in the two years of her life. She got down to the 95th percentile at her 2-year appointment, but yeah. She's just a big kid. Meagan: Hey, though. We had Katrina, one of our doulas, talk about a VBAC client. It was 11 pounds, something. Jackie: Wow. Meagan: So 9 pounds is pretty small compared to that. Tara: It's not all about the size. Meagan: It's not all about the size, yeah. Jackie: Yep. 9 pounds, 15 ounces, and I still think that I would have been able to have the baby just fine. Tara: Yeah, you got most of the way there. I mean, you're kind of one of those people that did both. Meagan: Yeah. You did both. Yeah. That's hard. Jackie: At my six-week appointment with my midwives, I came in and talked to them. I said, “So, when can I have a VBAC after two Cesareans?” Six weeks later, I'm already asking them. I asked the OB while I was at the large hospital if they did VBAC after two Cesareans and they said, “Yep. You can come down for that if you have another kid.” When I was back at my little rural hospital, the OB there– there was a new OB and she said, “Oh yeah. I don't see why you couldn't have one. That would be fine. Just don't have a big baby this time.” My midwife looked it up and she found online that they don't have a policy against a VBAC after two Cesareans either, so she said, “Oh yeah. You can definitely do this.” Tara: Wow. Meagan: That's so hard. That's a lot of pressure. “Don't have a big baby this time.” Jackie: Yep. Just don't have a big baby this time. Meagan: Yeah, kind of hard to totally control. I mean, you can obviously do your best. Jackie: So when we got pregnant with our third, I went and met with them, and we discussed VBAC after two Cesareans. They told me two years ago that it was still in the plan. My midwife says, “Well, let me talk to the head OB person at this small hospital.” There are three midwives. I believe there are two or three OBs. She talked to the OB and the OB said, “No. You had a 10-pound baby last time. We will not allow you to have a VBAC after two Cesareans.” I said, “Okay. Well, when do I transfer over to the big hospital then? It's a longer drive. I don't really want to make that drive for my appointments. Can I do my appointments with you guys and then I'll transfer over later?” They said, “That's fine. Stay with us as long as you need to and then we'll figure this out.” I said, “Okay.” In the meantime, they checked to see if I had gestational diabetes because after having gestational diabetes and then having a large baby, they assumed that I'm going to have it again. I failed the one-hour and then passed the three-hour. I passed the one-hour at 18 weeks at this one, and then I did it again at 28 weeks and I failed the one-hour, and then I had to do it again for the three-hour. According to the numbers in Vermont, I would have failed by one point and been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I might add at the time, we also moved states. At 28 weeks, we moved from New Hampshire to New York. Again, a nice rural community in the middle of nowhere. So at 28 weeks, I had them do the test, but I also had them prescribe the stuff for gestational diabetes so that way I could monitor my sugars and make sure that I don't have a giant baby. While we were in New Hampshire, I started researching and asking on The VBAC Link Community Facebook group, asking mom groups in the area where we are in New York where I could have a VBAC after two Cesareans. I did all of my research on the different cities that were close to us. I say close because both of them were about two hours away from us to find out where I could have this. Somebody recommended that I have a home birth. I was like, “Sure. I would love that idea because I wouldn't have to go anywhere. It sounds like a great idea,” but in New York state, if you are having a VBAC after two Cesareans, you have to have it in a hospital. You can't have it in a birth center. You can't have it at home. That was kind of a bummer because I found a midwife local to us who does them in Pennsylvania because Pennsylvania would allow it, but New York doesn't. I found a hospital with midwives in Rochester, New York and I talked to them. They had a Facebook Live Meet Your Midwife one day. I talked to them and I asked them some questions. I said, “Could I have a VBAC after two Cesareans?” They said, “Well, why do you need to specify that it's after two Cesareans?” I said, “A lot of places won't allow you to do it after two Cesareans.” They were like, “No. It's just a VBAC.” They didn't seem to have a problem with that. I said, “Well, what if I have a large baby because my last one was 10 pounds? Could I still have my VBAC?” They were like, “10 pounds really isn't that big.” I was like, “Okay. I'm liking these answers.”Tara: That's incredible. Jackie: I'm liking these answers so far. Meagan: You're like, “I'm not going to disagree with you.” Jackie: Yep, and then I asked, “What if I have gestational diabetes because I know some places when you have gestational diabetes, you risk out of being able to have the midwives. You end up with OBs.” They said, “Why would you have to have midwives if you have gestational diabetes?” Everything that I was told before, they were just like, that doesn't make any sense. Tara: Wow. Meagan: They were pushing back on you. They were like, “Hey, listen.” Tara: They were like, “We don't think that this is a problem.” Meagan: We have VBAC statistics for you. Jackie: Yeah, so after that Facebook Live event or something, after that, I was like, “All right. I think I have found where I want to go.” Then we went to see my mother-in-law and we get a text from our friend saying, “Hey, you guys were at our party this past weekend and somebody at the party just tested positive for COVID.” So we took our tests right there at our mother-in-law's house and we tested positive for COVID.Tara: Oh no. Jackie: So my first appointment got to be a virtual appointment because of COVID. We all tested positive. Meagan: Bummer. Jackie: It was a bummer having to quarantine and do all of that fun stuff. So a couple of weeks later, after I'm out of the COVID quarantine, I got to actually go up and meet my midwives. A large midwife place with a waiting room that actually people are in, it was a lot different than my tiny little hospital in the middle of nowhere in Vermont. I met with the midwives there. I explained to them that according to the numbers that my midwives pulled for the gestational diabetes screen that I have gestational diabetes. I read them the numbers that I had from my chart. They looked at me and said, “No. That's not gestational diabetes. Our cutoff is 185, not 180 here in New York.” So now I don't have gestational diabetes anymore and I told them that I would like to keep my monitor going, just to continue monitoring because I didn't want to have a giant baby again. They were okay with that and they just took it off of my chart. I drove two hours every two weeks, then every one week to all of those appointments all the way up to Rochester to meet with these midwives. Anytime I went in with a concern, they basically told me, “Nope, that's fine. You can have your VBAC.” I also hired a doula in the area too because it was recommended by my favorite midwife up in Vermont that if I'm going to be somewhere new with people I don't know, I should have a doula who could help support me. I agreed with that, so we got ourselves a doula. Now we are talking about the lovely birth story. My doula kept contacting me and I kept telling her, “Nope, I'm going to go late. I'm not going to go to 40 weeks. It will be more than 40 weeks. I will have this baby inside of me forever. This pregnancy is so easy compared to my other two. I'm not in pain. I could be pregnant for 42 weeks and not even care, but I definitely can't have my baby this week.” She's like, “Why?” I said, “Well, my husband is a teacher. It's the first day of school.” It was Labor Day weekend, so his first day of school was the day after Labor Day and my oldest is starting preschool at a new preschool. I don't want to ruin this week for them. It's their first week back to school and I can't have my baby this week. Maybe next weekend I'll have the baby. It'll work out then.” My doula was like, “Okay, whatever you say. This baby can come whenever they want, but sure. You can go late. Whatever.” My kid and my husband have their first day of school. Everything goes great. That night, I put my kids to bed and I started having little contractions like I did with my second. I was like, “Well, it's probably just going to keep me awake all night.” I had heard many a birth story on here that said to take some Benadryl, take some Tylenol and try to sleep through it. That's what I did. I took some Benadryl. I took some Tylenol and I slept through it. I'd wake up every once in a while. Around midnight, I was like, “Maybe I should start timing these and figure out what's going on.” They were coming 5-10 minutes apart or something like that. They weren't consistent. I could sleep through a lot of it, so I just said, “All right. I'll take some more Benadryl and Tylenol and just keep sleeping.” My two-year-old crawled into bed with me and while having contractions, trying to sleep with contractions and a two-year-old was not very fun. I snuck out of the room and slept on the couch. I was timing the contractions there. My two-year-old started crying, looking for me and asking where I was, so I went back upstairs and snuggled her in her bed. The contractions were still happening. I was like, “This is strange. Last time, basically when I woke up, they went away.”But whatever. They weren't very painful and I could sleep through them so I didn't think anything was happening. My husband gets up for his second day of school. He's in the shower and I said, “Hey, don't get too excited to be at school. Don't get too excited about this.” I go, “I've been having contractions. They're probably going to fizzle out when the sun comes up. Don't worry about it, but maybe have some plans together for the afternoon because I'll probably call you and say ‘Hey, we need to go to the hospital.'”He said, “Oh, you think you're going to have the baby?” I said, “I don't know, but just have some plans just in case.” I get my four-year-old dressed and send my husband and her to school. I bring my two-year-old out to our makeshift living area in the barn. I climbed the stairs to the barn. I'm making us breakfast and all of a sudden, my contractions went from, “Oh, this is nothing. I can sleep through it,” to “Maybe I should have not sent them to school. This is not feeling right.” I'm having contractions now a lot closer together. They are a lot more painful, and I'm trying to breathe through them, and my two-year-old is copying me and making fun of me. Tara: Does your doula know yet? Jackie: I sent her a text at this point. I said, “Hey, just letting you know.” She's like, “All right.” I go, “It's probably nothing.” Again, I don't think anything is going to happen. I was in labor for 48 hours with the other one. Nothing is going to happen anytime soon. I didn't want to worry her. I did send a text to my mother-in-law too because she lives about 45 minutes away. I said, “Hey, if you get dressed and ready for the day, do you think you could come on over to the house instead of going to work today? Would that be okay?” She was like, “Yeah. That would be fine. I'll be over after my shower.” I said, “Okay.” They picked up a lot more. My doula texted me and she said, “Maybe you should hop in the shower until your husband gets back,” because I hadn't been able to get a hold of him. His school had been in the news because they said, “No cell phones at all for kids,” so he was making sure that his cell phone was not even seen in the school building, so I can't get a hold of him even though I told him to keep an eye out for me.I'm trying to text him. My doula says to hop in the shower. I was like, “Yeah, you're right. I'll probably hop in the shower and this will all go away.” So I bring my two-year-old inside. On the way inside, we have our crew who is working on the house is all there and they volunteered the day before to take me to the hospital if I needed it, so I'm trying to not show them that I'm in labor at all. I'm hiding my facial expressions like, “This is no big deal. Construction crew, you're fine to stay here.” I bring my two-year-old and set her in front of the TV and hop into the shower. I tried calling my husband's school and I realized that I can't get through the automated messaging system to find out how to get ahold of my husband at his new school before another contraction comes. So I texted my mother–in–law and I said, “You need to call him. I can't do this and he's not answering.” She asked what the telephone number is and I'm like, “I don't know. Google it.” I could not even think through these contractions. All of a sudden—Tara: It was getting serious. Meagan: Stop talking to me. Jackie: They were awful. I did not have contractions like this with my second and again, I dilated to 8 centimeters. I was just like, “I've got to get in the shower.” I get in the shower and I'm sitting there. I sat there until the water ran out of hot water and I plugged the tub before that because I was like, “Well, maybe sitting in a tub would be nice too.” So when the water ran out of hot water, I am now laying in the tub and I am screaming at the top of my lungs. I'm just thinking about the work crew who was on the other side of this wall in our kitchen working on making our kitchen and I'm just screaming at the top of my lungs. My two-year-old keeps walking in asking for something and I'm just yelling at her to get out. She's like, “Mom, mom, mom, mom I hurt my nose,” and I'm like, “I don't care. Get out of here,” just screaming. It was just so painful. All of a sudden, my husband walks in and he goes, “Uh-oh, what's going on?” And I'm like, “I'm having a baby.” Obviously, you can hear me screaming. He was like, “Well, the entire crew was standing outside in a huddle like, ‘What should we do?'” I'm yelling orders at him now and I'm like, “You need to get the bag.” He's like, “Okay. I've got the bag.” I was like, “You need to get my dress.” He comes down with– I don't remember what dress he came down with. I was like, “No. There is a black dress in the closet. Go get me my black dress. I'm not going to be able to put clothes on. Go get that.” He goes up and gets me the dress. He comes in and he goes, “My mom's here, so we don't need to take the girls with us.” I was like, “Thank god,” because I was going to leave the girls with the workers. I wasn't going to care right then. The workers can watch our children. I was done. Slowly, I get out. I tell him, “Yes. Put the dress on me,” because there was no way I was going to be able to dress myself. I tell him to grab my shoes because, for my first two children, I went home barefoot because I did not have my shoes. This one, I wanted to make sure I had my shoes so I had him grab my shoes. Tara: Good tip to put out there. Jackie: Yeah, I went home barefoot for a third time too, so I'll explain that afterward. I get into his truck and I can't sit down. I said, “Get a towel to put under me just in case my water breaks.” I'm just screaming and obscenities are coming out of my mouth. I feel terrible because my kids are looking at me like, “What the heck is going on?” They only know about Cesareans because that's all I've had. Those are the pictures that I have shown them. So I was basically standing up in the front seat of his truck just standing there screaming, “Drive!” We live on dirt roads, so the entire time, I'm cursing the dirt roads because it's all bumpy. Tara: And you had a two-hour drive to the hospital, is that right? Jackie: Yes. We had a two-hour drive to the hospital, but I am certain that I'm going to make it because my last labor was so long. There was no way that we were not going to make it. We were driving two hours. So we're driving and our little town is having its bridge work done, so we have one red light now. And of course, we hit that one red light. Tara: Figures.Jackie: I'm now cursing at the red light and my husband is like, “Really?” He's just laughing inside himself because it's like, this is what's happening. Exactly. We have one red light and this is what we're doing. We're hitting the red light. I keep screaming obscenities at it. Tara: This is your moment to blow that red light, right? Jackie: Yeah. If you could see the other side of the bridge and didn't know if people were coming across, or knew people were coming, I probably would have told him to do so. Tara: You probably don't need a head-on collision at that point. Jackie: In our mommy group that I am in on Facebook or the due date group or whatever, the day before I think it was, there was some girl who was like, “I almost had a car birth,” and I was like, “Well, I'd take a car birth over a Cesarean any day.” And I'm thinking to myself, “Did I just wish this upon myself? Am I going to have this baby in this car?”We've got two hours to drive. All of the little hospitals around us don't do VBACs, not even VBACs after Cesareans. They don't do VBACs at all, so any chance in my head that I'm going to get a VBAC is, “I have to drive two hours. I have to get to this hospital.” My husband's driving. We make it about two exits down the highway and I'm telling him, “You need to call the midwife group.” The midwife group has two different locations and he's calling the one on speakerphone that is the second location. I'm like, “No. That's not the right one. You need to call this one.” So he calls that one. He tells him that we are on our way and they ask, “How often are her contractions coming?” I just yell, “Too close together! We're coming. We're not going to stop this.” I had him call my doula. He was talking to my doula and she says, “Is that her in the background?” He goes, “Yeah, that's her.” She goes, “Stop the car right now. Call 911. Get an ambulance.” I'm like, “No. We don't need an ambulance. Just keep driving. You're going to slow us down. Just get there.” I'll add that he was using Google to get there because he hadn't been to any of my appointments and he's never been to this city really at all. Meagan: Oh gosh. Jackie: So he's following Google and the way Google takes you is back roads through Amish country because we live in an Amish country. I'm like, “No. Get back on the highway. I don't care if it's two minutes longer. You're driving on the highway. I am not going through Amish country and getting stopped by a buggy or getting stopped by a train. Stay on the highway.” We're two exits down and he's like, “Okay, well the doula said to call an ambulance. I'm calling an ambulance.” I'm like, “Okay. Call the ambulance. You're overreacting, but whatever,” as I'm screaming. Tara: You are a multi-tasking queen, Jackie. Meagan: Uh-huh. Jackie: Behind us, a trooper pulls up and my husband tells me, “Oh look, the ambulance is coming.” I'm like, “That's not the ambulance. That's a trooper. He's not going to be able to help us with anything.” The trooper comes over–Meagan: Escort you. Jackie: He goes, “The ambulance will be here in a second. They're right behind me.” The ambulance pulls up and I'm still standing in the front of the truck. No seatbelt, nothing. I can't even kneel down or sit down in this truck. I'm just standing and screaming. The guy from the ambulance comes in and says, “Okay, I'm going to need you to get on the stretcher.” I said, “I can't move.” I'm yelling at him. He goes, “Childbirth isn't that bad.” Meagan: Ohh. Jackie: I looked at him and I just screamed again more obscenities. I have my four-year-old and two-year-old watching TV in front of me, so I will not be screaming those obscenities. But I was like, “You're a man. You have no say in this. You have no idea what this is like. You cannot tell me it is not that bad.” He was like, “I've delivered many babies. I've delivered five of my own from my wife.” I am just like, “Yeah. You did not have a baby.” I am yelling at him. He's like, “Well, I need you to get on the stretcher.” Somehow, I managed to get on the stretcher, but I am on the stretcher on my hands and knees again, holding onto the top of it. He tells me, “No. You have to roll over. You have to lay on your back.” I told him, “There's no way I'm going to roll over. There's no way I'm going to lay on my back. I'm good like this.” After arguing with me for a few minutes that it's not safe and that I can't go like that, he finally decides to put this seatbelt or whatever the stretcher has around the back of my legs and wheels me into the ambulance. With him, he's got another guy with him I believe and there's this young girl. The young girl is obviously very new to being an EMT. At one point, I hear him thank her for coming because they needed a female to come I guess, but she had no idea about anything with birth or anything. Tara: Her eyes are wide. Jackie: Yep, yep. I'm yelling at her to squeeze my hips because I'm in so much pain. My husband was squeezing my hips in the truck for me for each contraction. After everything was said and done, my husband told me that if we have a fourth, which before, he told me absolutely not we were never having another kid after three. If we have a fourth, he needs to go to the gym and work on whatever muscles he needs to be able to squeeze hips because he has no muscle there. Tara: That's right. It's hard work, isn't it, Meagan? Meagan: Mhmm. Jackie: I yelled, “This is why I needed a doula. She knows what to do.” Meagan: Yeah. Well, and that's another pro of a doula too is that they can switch off. Jackie: Yes. That's what I was looking forward to. I was going to have this really long labor and they were going to switch off when his arms got tired, her arms would pop in and it would be wonderful. But I'm in the ambulance and I'm yelling at this poor, young girl that she needs to squeeze my hips. The guy is trying to tell her, “You've got to squeeze her hips. That's what she wants.”Then my body decides that it is going to start pushing on its own, but not push out a baby, but push out poop which–Meagan: Mhmm, that comes first sometimes. Jackie: I read that all the things said, “Yeah, if it happens, people will just wipe it up and you'll never even know.” I'm yelling at the girl like, “I apologize that this is happening.” She's looking at the guy like, “What do I do?” He's like, “Just don't worry about it. Just don't worry about it.” With every contraction now, I am now pooping and extremely embarrassed by this and screaming because I am in so much pain. The guy who has delivered so many babies and said childbirth isn't that bad tells me that I need to relax so that he can put an IV in my hand. Meagan: Oh boy. Jackie: I tell him that if he wants me to relax, then he needs to give me some drugs. He tells me that he can't give me any drugs because I'm having a baby and there are no drugs that are safe for a baby. Tara: Oh dear. Jackie: He goes, “Well, if I get this IV in you, at the hospital, they'll be able to give you some drugs.” I said, “Okay.” So I managed to somehow stop squeezing my hand and let him have it. He got the IV in. We pull up to the hospital and they rolled me into the hospital. There were probably about, my husband said he counted 25 people in the room. One of the nurses I talked to later said he counted at least 30 people in the room. It's an ER room because this hospital does not have a maternity ward at all, so they don't deliver babies at all which was a surprise to me especially when I asked for drugs and they told me that they couldn't give me anything. The EMT guy promised me that they would be able to give me drugs. Tara: So that's a good point, Jackie, because if you call an ambulance, they have to take you to the nearest hospital, right? Meagan: Mhmm. Jackie: Yes. Tara: Yeah. So he wasn't able to take you to the one that you had intended to give birth at. Jackie: Right. But I still thought that they would take me to one where I would give birth at. 30 minutes north of this hospital, there was a hospital that I ended up being transferred to after I gave birth that does have a maternity ward. But yep, they brought me to the closest one possible. They had again, no maternity ward. Nobody has delivered babies. Tara: But the entire staff standing by. Jackie: Oh yeah. The entire staff, I'm pretty sure, of this hospital, standing in the room with me. My husband was like, “I had nothing to do during your labor. I walked in.” First of all, he followed Google again and did not end up at the right hospital and then was like, “Oh, wait a second. I know what hospital this is. I'm pretty sure we've passed it before.” He said that he walked in and he had my bag and my birth plan. He hands my birth plan to the nurse and the nurse goes, “We don't have time for that.” He was like, “Okay. I remembered the one thing that I had to remember and they don't even want it.” He goes, “I got in there. They put me behind you,” or at my head, because I'm still on my hands and knees on top of the stretcher right now. He goes, “There were so many people around, I had nothing to do.” He goes, “You had two people who were wiping your forehead for you. You had three people who were holding your hand for you. You had someone who was wiping your butt.” He goes, “Every single person had something to do and I was just standing there looking like an idiot. There were so many people in that room.” I was like, “Yeah, it was a lot different than our second labor where we were the only two people in the room.” So we're in there with all of the people staring at me. There was a sweet woman up by my head who kept telling me wonderfully nice things and if I wasn't in labor, I would probably hug her and tell her that she was a wonderful person, but I was in so much panic yelling at her to just shut her mouth and be quiet and all of these terrible things that I feel so bad about now. At one point, she advises whoever is on the other side of me, I don't know, to maybe shut the blinds to the ER room because it's all glass. So you walk into the ER and what you see was my behind as I'm trying to give birth on the stretcher with 25 people around me. I was very thankful she said they should probably shut all of these blinds so people weren't watching. They have someone come in and they tell me that this is a pediatrician. She has delivered babies before, so it's going to be okay. That's my first hint that they don't have anybody to deliver babies at this hospital, that there is a pediatrician here now and she has delivered babies. It's okay. The pediatrician decides that she needs to check me and in the middle of a contraction, shoves her hand up and I'm just screaming. I'm like, “Get your hand out of me.” I started kicking her which, again, I feel terrible about. I apologized for it after the fact, but I definitely kicked her a couple of times telling her to get away from me. They kept telling me that I had to be on my back to be checked and I told them, “No,” that you can have babies on your knees. “I'm not laying on my back. I can't do that. I can't roll over.” I again involuntarily am pushing so much poop out of myself which, again, no one prepares you for that. Everyone tells you, “Oh no. Don't worry about it. No one is even going to notice.” Everybody knew it was happening. My husband knew it was happening. There was poop in front of me on the stretcher. There was just poop everywhere and I was so embarrassed. I was like, “Nobody told you that this much would happen.” At some point, they told me that I am pushing out this baby. I think it was at 9:30 a.m. when my husband called the ambulance and we were at the hospital by probably 9:50, maybe 10:00. We were there and the pediatrician starts telling me, “You've just got to start pushing. Just keep pushing. Keep pushing.” I'm like, “There's no way I'm having this baby.” I went 48 hours with the last one. I was barely having contractions an hour ago. There is no way this baby is coming out of me. She was like, “You've got to push. You've got to push. You've got to push.” I start pushing and then they finally convince me to roll over that I might be able to push better in that position, so I roll over to that position. I think it was three or four more pushes, and out popped a baby.    At some point, I thought that she again was trying to find out where my cervix was and had her hand up inside of me and I am yelling at her to stop that. She's like, “It's not me. Your baby is coming out.” Again, I did not believe that there was a baby going to be born. I could not believe it at all. When she came out, I was again shocked like, “I just had a baby and it wasn't a C-section.” This didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. I'm just sitting there in complete shock. I couldn't believe it. I felt like, “You have a —-” because we have surprises for each of our kids. They go, “What do you have?” I told them it was a surprise. They were like, “You have another girl.” My husband was like, “Oh, three girls. Just what I always wanted.” I had my VBAC after two Cesareans and again, like you said, you're just on this birth high of, “I actually did this.” I had a second-degree tear and the pediatrician person is trying to stitch me up. Again, I'm on a stretcher. I'm also covered in poop because I was kneeling in it, so there are four nurses wiping me down and giving me a sponge bath to get all of the poop off of me. My husband and I are joking that the room smells terrible and why would 25 people want to stand around and watch this because it smells so bad in that room? So that was a lot of fun. We still joke about that now even though I tell him that he can't talk about it with anybody else. They stitched me up. The pediatrician was complaining because they don't have any beds with stirrups and they don't have any beds with the broken down parts that you give birth in, so I was on an ER stretcher and she could barely get in there to do my stitches comfortably. While we're doing this, some other lady walks in and says, “Hey, just to let you know, we don't have a mother/baby wing, so you guys are going to be transferred. Do you mind going to this hospital” that was a half hour away and I was like, “Sure. I already had the baby. I guess it doesn't matter which hospital I go to now.” They get another ambulance and they put me in an ambulance and they take me to this other hospital where I saw the OB that walked in, I think, as I was pushing from that hospital, they followed that OB down about a half hour away to come. I guess I must have been pushing there for at least a half hour because the OB walked in. He comes up and said, “Is your husband coming?” “Yep. My husband will be up.” He was at the hospital. He was like, “Oh, he was the one–” my husband has got a really big, orange beard. He's like, “Oh, he's the one with the big beard.” I was like, “Yeah.” He was telling the nurse, “This guy's got a great beard.” He goes, “I thought he was a–” the way he was dressed too, he came from school, so he was in a shirt and a tie and khakis. He goes, “I thought he was the other OB that they called and he got there first and he was just watching.” He goes, “Yeah, when I got to the hospital, she was in active labor about to have this baby, one of the nurses turned to me. She goes, ‘So, are we going up to the OR now? Are we going to do the section now?'” He was like, “I turned to her. ‘She's pushing out the baby. Why would we need to go into the OR for a C-section? Just let her have the baby. She knows what she is doing.'”It just made me laugh that again, I had a VBAC after two Cesareans in a hospital that was absolutely not prepared to even deliver a baby. Tara: Wow. Jackie: I delivered the placenta. They had to look for a hemorrhage kit because they couldn't find Pitocin to give me Pitocin. My husband was like, “Hold on. Are they dusting off that box over there? Have they never seen this before?” One of the nurses who we asked how many people had come in and had babies, she goes, “Well, I've been here for a year and nobody has had a baby here yet this year.”Tara: Wow. Jackie: She goes, “That's probably why everybody was in here. They wanted to see somebody have a baby.”Tara: Yeah. You gave them a story that they will be telling for a long time. Meagan: Yeah. Jackie: It definitely was crazy. I never thought that it could happen as fast as it did. I never thought that yeah. I never thought I would have a VBAC after two Cesareans for starters, and never thought I would have one in a hospital that doesn't deliver babies. Meagan: Mhmm, yeah that doesn't even do babies. Tara: You sent your husband to work and had the baby before lunchtime.Jackie: Well, that's what I said when I had the baby. It was 10:42 when I had the baby, so again, I was texting him at 8:00 that maybe he should come home. I think we were in the car around 9:00. 10:42 is when the baby was born. I said, “Hey, you have lunch duty soon. Do you want to go back for that?” He laughed. He goes, “I think I'll take the rest of the day off.” Meagan: I think I'll stay. Tara: His adrenaline was sky-high. Jackie: He went back to school the following day. His principal was like, “Uh, you had a baby yesterday. Why are you here?” He said, “Why shouldn't I be here? She's got nurses looking after her. She's fine. My mother's with the other two kids. We're good. I can be at school.” Tara: That's the parent of a third child right there. Jackie: Very much parents of a third child. Meagan: I love it though. I love it all. It's so awesome. Such an adrenaline rush. I mean, one that so many people are never going to forget. Seriously, you did somethingJackie: I feel like I need to send them something though, like a card saying, “I'm sorry for all the obscenities. I'm sorry I was so rude to you.” Meagan: No, no. You know, we don't take anything personally as birth workers. I mean, I know they weren't birth workers, but they can't take it personally, right? Tara: That's right. Doulas always say that everything is forgiven in labor. We know that things happen. Drama happens. Words said. People get kicked. Meagan: Words get said. Things get done. I had a mom bite me one time, my hand.Jackie: Yeah. Meagan: Yeah, she just grabbed my hand and bit it. After, she was just like, “Oh, did I just bite you?” I was like, “Yep, but that's what you needed to do, so you're good. You're good.” Oh, I love it. Well, congratulations. I know you're still fresh off of this and I can just feel the energy. It's so amazing. It's so amazing. Tara: It's incredible. How are you feeling about your healing so far? It's been a short time. How's it feeling in comparison? Jackie: I was a little shocked at the fact that there was more pain than I thought there was going to be having a second-degree tear and lots of lovely hemorrhoids, so sitting was not something fun. Meagan: Mhmm, yeah. Tara: Yeah. Jackie: So a little shocked by that, but compared to a C-section, it's so much better. I was thinking about how our bedrooms are on the second floor. The barn rec room that we're in is on the second floor, where we hang out right now doesn't have a bathroom, so I have to go up and down stairs. How was I going to do that after having a C-section? Meagan: Mhmm. Tara: Yeah. Still try not to do it too much after this birth. Meagan: Still take it easy. Still take it easy. Sometimes, we just want to get back into it. We just want to get back into it and we have to remember that we still just did a very big thing. We pushed a baby out of us and we still have to recover and give our body time. Tara: Yeah, and that's a big mistake. I definitely made it too, but when you feel so much better than the other time, you think, “Oh, I'm good to go. I can climb stairs. I can make my family dinner. I can do things that I did before I had the baby,” and it catches up with you and your healing takes a lot longer. Meagan: Yeah, don't rush it. Awesome. Tara: Give yourself some grace. Meagan: Yes, give yourself some grace. I always tell people that when you are feeling really good, that means that you need more time. Tara: That's a good one. Meagan: Just keep giving yourself time. It's okay to take it. I love it. What an amazing story though. One you will never forget. Thank you again, so much for sharing it with us. Seriously. Tara: It's an exciting one. Jackie: Thank you. One of the things my husband said to me after I had the VBAC, he goes, “Hey, now you can be on that podcast you listen to all of the time.” Meagan: Oh! Jackie: He's like, “You can call them up.” Meagan: Did you tell him when you got the email? Jackie: I haven't yet because I was like, “What happens if something goes wrong and we don't actually get to record and it gets canceled or whatever?” But I'll tell him when he gets home. My four-year-old actually woke up throwing up this morning and I was like, “Oh, I'm not going to be able to do this because she's going to be throwing up all day,” but she's held it down for the whole hour. Tara: You've got a lot going on. Meagan: Yes, you do. Oh my gosh. Well, thank you for taking all of the time today to share this beautiful story, and congratulations once again. Jackie: Thank you so much for inviting me on. Tara: Congratulations, Jackie. Enjoy those baby cuddles. Meagan: I know, those little coos are so sweet. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How many plant foods do you eat a day? A 2018 study proved that eating 30 plant foods a day has an enormous positive impact on the gut microbiome. And while 30 plant foods a day might sound overwhelming at first, it's actually much easier than you might think! In this episode, Jackie will give you easy tips to incorporate this nutritional change into your daily life. She'll explain the importance of eating real, quality foods and the benefits you'll reap. It turns out that food is medicine for your body and you become what you eat. Eating 30 plant foods a day won't only increase your energy, but it'll also boost your creativity so you can make more money and make a larger impact on the world. So get out there and supercharge yourself with the foods you are eating!   Key Topics and Takeaways: Jackie goes over the 2018 study. The connection between the gut and brain. Why you shouldn't eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast. The importance of a strong gut. Tips to incorporate real food into your diet. The reason quality food matters. The benefits of eating real plant foods.    Memorable Quotes: “Knowledge is power and is even more powerful when you take action towards it.” (2:28, Jackie) “So by feeding our gut with really healthy plant foods and a diverse amount of those, we are gonna be much more resilient. We are gonna be much more creative.” (3:09, Jackie) “The food that you eat is medicine for the body. You literally become the food that you eat.” (4:00, Jackie) “It is really critical what you put in your body.” (13:58, Jackie) “Knowledge is power, but enjoy the journey. Take responsibility for where you are now and set the intention for your transformation.” (20:04, Jackie)   To learn more about Jackie and to stay connected, visit the links below: Instagram Facebook YouTube Website: https://feelbetterinstitute.com Take the ‘How's Your Energy?' Quiz Apply to work with me at: https://feelbetterinstitute.com/apply    

What's the truth about gluten? In part one of this Q&A episode, Jackie gives you all the information you need to know about the impacts of consuming gluten. She'll give you the signs and symptoms to know if you are gluten intolerant, and will tell you why wheat hurts the gut and brain. She'll also share the reasons why you should avoid inflammatory foods, and what to eat instead. If you experience any kind of bloating, stomach pain, anxiety, or attention deficit, this episode might solve all of your problems!    Key Topics and Takeaways:   Why wheat hurts the gut. Foods that irritate the gut lining. How to know if you're gluten intolerant. Being aware of the messages your body sends you. The connection between the gut and the brain. Chemicals in gluten. Neurological imbalances as a result of eating gluten. The impacts of eating inflammatory foods.   Memorable Quotes:   “We've got microscopic evidence from clinical research studies that show that the gut lining of all humans is damaged from wheat.” (3:11, Jackie)   “It's really, really important for us to be aware of the messages that our bodies are sending us.” (7:28, Jackie)   “We know that the gut and the brain were one organ, just one grew up, and one grew down.” (8:17, Jackie)   “If you just eliminate the wheat products and you don't address the quality of your gut lining or any imbalance in good bacteria to bad bacteria, then you aren't able to heal properly from a root cause perspective.” (9:00, Jackie)   “Once it's a resistant starch, it will stay a resistant starch.” (22:42, Jackie)   *SIGN UP* for the LIVE FREE WEBINAR: The Top 3 Reasons Your Gut Health May Be Sabotaging Your Performance And What To Do About It: https://jackiebowker.ac-page.com/webinar   LIVE Impact Accelerator Seminar: If you would like to apply and join our exclusive invite-only live event, and you are an ambitious heart-centered human looking to accelerate and grow your impact and performance and you have an abundance mindset, please apply below: https://feelbetterinstitute.com/health-retreat To learn more about Jackie and to stay connected, visit the links below: Instagram Facebook YouTube Website: https://feelbetterinstitute.com Take the ‘How's Your Energy?' Quiz    

Are gut tests worth it? In this mini dose, Jackie gives you all the answers you're searching for! Jackie will give you all the information you need to make educated decisions about your gut health. Telling her personal gut story, you'll discover what symptoms are associated with an unbalanced gut.  She'll tell you all about DNA stool tests and why they are beneficial. You'll learn how to empower yourself with data to create an optimal gut. Jackie will also share foods and other easy tools you can use to heal your gut. This episode will help you feel comfortable and confident in the choices you make for your gut!   Key Topics and Takeaways:   What the gut looks like and how it becomes unhealthy. Autoimmune disorders and the gut. Negative impacts of wheat. The connection between the gut and brain. Why gut health is important when in perimenopause or menopause. How to make goals and clarify what you want in your health. What type of practitioner you should work with.   Memorable Quotes: “It's my mission to help you understand the tests that are available to you so you can be empowered to know what's really going on inside.” (2:08, Jackie) “I challenge my clients to know as much about themselves as I know about them.” (3:33, Jackie) “It's really important that the good bacteria is stronger than the bad bacteria.” (7:17, Jackie) “The future of medicine is the patient is the doctor.” (17:56, Jackie) “I know that the more people I help, the more good is going come because the people I help are gonna feel better. And then they can share their very special gifts with the world.” (22:43, Jackie)   *SIGN UP* for the LIVE FREE WEBINAR: The Top 3 Reasons Your Gut Health May Be Sabotaging Your Performance And What To Do About It: https://jackiebowker.ac-page.com/webinar   LIVE Impact Accelerator Seminar: If you would like to apply and join our exclusive invite-only live event, and you are an ambitious heart-centered human looking to accelerate and grow your impact and performance and you have an abundance mindset, please apply below: https://feelbetterinstitute.com/health-retreat To learn more about Jackie and to stay connected, visit the links below: Instagram Facebook YouTube Website: https://feelbetterinstitute.com Take the ‘How's Your Energy?' Quiz

How often do you feel tired?   Jackie is back today to talk about tiredness and bring you her 5 strategies to feel better and end the fatigue!   You'll hear all about the power of eating whole, unprocessed foods and how they can have a medicinal effect on the body.    Jackie will also stress the importance of knowing the source of your food and taking accountability for your health.   This episode will fill you with energy and help you create a healthy, revitalized body.    Valuable Resources Create all day energy with great focus - Join our Boost My Energy Challenge: https://feelbetterinstitute.com/feel-better-challenge Take our FREE 'How's Your Energy?' Quiz https://quiz.feelbetterinstitute.com/sf/a8779118 Win Amazing Health and Wellbeing PRIZES by entering our GIVEAWAY! https://bit.ly/3N4iMmu To get my most effective tips, recipes and recommendations, subscribe to our weekly newsletter: https://bit.ly/3HML1mU Let's Connect Website: https://feelbetterinstitute.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/jackiebowker/ FB: https://www.facebook.com/jackiebowkernutrition In This Episode   What whole foods are. Five inflammatory foods that are troublesome for the body. How to set an intention around the food you eat. Eating healthy fats. The importance of understanding the source of your food. Why you should always know what you are putting in your body.   Memorable Quotes:   “Bringing that intention and attracting the vibration of love into your food will create a different energy and impact on your cells and your blood than if you were eating the food coming from a place of conflict.” (4:09, Jackie)   “Inflammation without a doubt is the leading cause of disease. Nine out of 10 deaths are created by inflammation in the body.” (10:26, Jackie)   “You'll find that we can regulate hormones a lot when we rectify the diet to include lots of healthy fats. So they're not something to be scared of.” (18:45, Jackie)   “It's not just what you eat. It's how you eat.” (23:11, Jackie)   Connect with Jackie Bowker: InstagramFacebookYouTube https://feelbetterinstitute.com

In this special mini dose, Jackie shares her family's recent experience with having the COVID-19 virus.   She walks us through each family member's unique experience and explains the practices they used to heal as quickly as possible and rebuild their immune system after eliminating COVID from their bodies.   Even as a seasoned functional medicine practitioner, Jackie learned a lot about her own health during this period. You'll get both her wise takeaways and strategies that her family is using to strengthen their immune systems going forward.    All in all, Jackie will inspire you to change from a mindset of “sick care” to “health care”!    Key Topics and Takeaways:   Fever is the body's way of naturally killing off pathogens.   -Sweating is incredibly important to eliminate toxins. -The benefits of Vitamin D & the why you should know your blood levels and supplement if you don't have good functional levels (which is different to laboratory ranges).  -Hydration tips & antiviral herbs and food suggestions.  -Don't underestimate the power of gut health which is where the majority of your immune system is located.  -You can support your health by changing the words you use to yourself and to others to be positive and productive and asking for what you actually want (health) instead of what you don't want (illness).    Memorable Quotes:   “Sweat is one of our key ways that we can eliminate toxins from the body and that system, it's very important that that detoxification drainage system is actually working properly.” (3:42, Jackie)   “What we know about vitamin D is that its role in the body is absolutely incredible and as an antiviral, what we can do is push the levels up whilst you're asymptomatic to help reduce the symptoms.” (14:56, Jackie)   “So my recommendation is to ensure that you are breathing through your nose and not your mouth.” (20:57, Jackie)   “It's really important to make sure that you're feeding your gut. That is where your immune system sits. So you can recover and rebuild.” (27:30, Jackie)

Have a quick question you would love for Jackie to answer?   Here is a space for you to get personal with Jackie and learn more about your health, wellness, and creating the lifestyle you love. Jackie collects questions for the show and shares her answers right here.   Today's question is all about how to avoid and reduce bloating. Jackie breaks down the functional aspects of your digestion that may be causing bloat, natural supporters to reduce bloat, and how to develop a personalized plan towards positive change.  Tune in to discover more!   Key Topics and Takeaways: Bloating is a message from your body to investigate and understand what is going on within your body. External stress implements internal stress and reduces the body's ability to break down food. 3 aspects of digestion to review to better understand what is causing you to bloat The top foods to avoid that create inflammation in the body and the gut. Salivation is a powerful aspect of the digestive process.    Resources: Bristol Stool Chart   Memorable Quotes:   “We consider what you would like instead of bloating, instead of discomfort, instead of pain, let's look at how your attitude and your perspective could change.” (2:39, Jackie)   “I like to think of bloating as a beautiful message that your body's giving you, that it needs some support.” (4:13, Jackie)   “It's a really good thing to be confident and courageous enough to examine your poop.” (13:48, Jackie)   “Don't ignore the messages, respect yourself. You are worth it. You are lovable. You matter. So take the time to explore what's really going on for you.” (14:37, Jackie)

Molly: Hi! This is Molly Olguin, co-creator of The Pasithea Powder and voice of Jane Gonzalez. Jackie: And I'm Jackie Hedeman, also co-creator of The Pasithea Powder and voice of Sophie Green. Molly: The Pasithea Powder is a science fiction thriller. Jackie: It's also a post-war epistolary slowburn. Molly: If you want a more specific breakdown, it's about Captain Sophie Green, recovering from a war that ripped her planet apart and left her personal relationships for dead. Among the many atrocities committed on both sides was the invention of Pasithea Powder, a drug with memory altering properties. Jackie: Thankfully, the drug has been eradicated and only a handful of scientists—now political prisoners—know how to recreate it. But when Sophie sees one of those scientists walking free, she has no choice but to turn to Jane Gonzalez, her estranged friend for help. Molly: So that was Season One. In Season Two, Sophie is alone again after Jane sold her out to the media and made Pasithea public. This was a speed bump in their growing friendship. Jackie: Friendship. Sure. Molly: [laughter] Now they have to deal with a whole new level of space bureaucracy. Jackie: Not to mention some new characters. Molly: We hope you'll enjoy Episode Twelve, “Over to You.” Jackie: Thank you for listening. Let us begin! Transcript can be found at: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Sr1gZeFgEnkrD0o12ZjDGts-7t7TH_Uubnki0AtS2hg/edit?usp=sharing https://www.pasitheapowder.com Twitter: @PasitheaPowder

Molly: Hi! This is Molly Olguin, co-creator of the Pasithea Powder and voice of Jane Gonzalez. Jackie: And I'm Jackie Hedeman, co-creator of the Pasithea Powder and voice of Sophie Green. Molly: The Pasithea Powder is a science fiction thriller. Jackie: It's also a post-war epistolary slowburn. Molly: If you want a more specific breakdown, it's about Captain Sophie Green, recovering from a war that ripped her planet apart and left her personal relationships for dead. Jackie: Among the many atrocities committed on both sides was the invention of Pasithea Powder, a drug with memory altering properties. Molly: Thankfully, the drug has been eradicated and only a handful of scientists—now political prisoners—know how to recreate it. Jackie: When Sophie sees one of those scientists walking free, she has no choice but to turn to Jane Gonzalez, her estranged friend for help. Molly: We hope you'll enjoy Episode One, “You Are Mistaken.” Jackie: Thank you for listening. Let us begin! Transcript can be found at: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IOyl0AoJMRFe4wDBOByF0AsNjjz3TKqkKeBold4w5R8/edit?usp=sharing https://www.pasitheapowder.com/ Twitter: @PasitheaPowder

Anna Jordan talks to Jackie Fast, an entrepreneur, author, speaker and candidate on The Apprentice in 2018. We discuss how to build a business at home and how to get started with sponsorships.   Be sure to visit SmallBusiness.co.uk for more articles on bootstrapping your business and managing your cash flow. Remember to like us on Facebook @SmallBusinessExperts and follow us on Twitter @smallbusinessuk, all lower case. Read the transcript for the podcast interview Hello and welcome to Small Business Snippets, the podcast from SmallBusiness.co.uk. I’m your host, Anna Jordan. In this episode we have Jackie Fast, an entrepreneur, speaker, author and former candidate on The Apprentice. She came to the UK from Canada in 2007 as a first stop on her European backpacking tour but decided to stick around and work as a sponsorship director at the Data & Marketing Association instead. In 2010, Jackie began building her business, Slingshot Sponsorship. She sold the firm in 2016 and is now running REBEL Pi, a Canadian ice wine company.  We’ll be talking about building a business from home and how to make sponsorship work for you. Anna: Hello, Jackie. Jackie: Hello, Anna. Anna: How are you doing? Jackie: I’m very good, thanks. Great. Let’s start with your arrival in the UK. What made you decide to give up your backpacking adventure to work in London and build a business here instead? Jackie: Honestly when I arrived – I’m from a small town in Canada – my experience was minimal. I’ve always been very ambitious and very determined. A lot of the people around me were not so much. So when I came to London it really was to explore Europe because obviously people talk about it and I’d never been to Paris. When I landed in London I was just overwhelmed with the energy of the city – not necessarily the energy you’d get from a city like New York but the people and the views that the people had here and the types of work that they were doing. I met a lot of people in finance and I didn’t even know that was a job that you could have and I was just blown away. It wasn’t an immediate thing. I was supposed to be here for two weeks and then travel the rest of Europe and then I was like: ‘Oh, I love London, I’ll stay a couple more weeks, that went on to a couple more months and then I was like: ‘I don’t want to leave’ and then over time I thought: ‘I just really want to stay here.’    When you launched Slingshot Sponsorship you only had a laptop and £2,000. How did you support yourself financially in the early days of the business? I’m sure a lot of our listeners will want to know. Jackie: Not well! I’m pretty frugal, actually – generally. But basically, over those initial months I just cut back hardcore. I didn’t really leave the house for weeks on end. I wasn’t eating beans on toast, but I was certainly eating a lot of ready meals and stir fries and cereal. But for the first, I’d say, year and a half, I wouldn’t even go to Starbucks. I couldn’t even afford takeout coffee, quite frankly, because every single pound I saved was going towards hiring my first employee and it was really hard. Slingshot got successful early, but I didn’t really have personal money for at least two or three years, I’d say. And you know, I only literally just bought this house when I sold the business. Up until then, all my friends owned houses and I couldn’t afford to – I was renting. But I always had it in me that I’d make that sacrifice. We’re recording in Jackie’s house, by the way, just for a bit of context. What about income? Jackie: So, £2,000 could pay the rent for four months, basically, and I took a couple of commission-only things. I had a lot of small clients. It took me nine months to secure my first client. So, I’d take small jobs that’d pay £500, £600, £1,000 and I’d just live off those kinds of things and those kinds of projects. I worked hard to try to get people to give me money, like all small businesses do, but I was really conscious about how much money I spent. And our website is a great example. When we launched Slingshot I went out to loads of agencies, everybody was quoting something like £7,000, £6,000 and I didn’t even have the money. I ended up going to a digital agency who I knew through the Data Marketing Association and asked to swap, to be kind of like a case study for them. It was kind of like a guinea pig thing and I ended up paying, like, nothing for it. I just bartered for everything. Anna: It’s interesting because they say entrepreneurs, even when they start earning a lot more money, still have the frugal mindset all those years later. Jackie: Yeah, I’ve always been like that. My husband jokes a lot because before I sold Slingshot and after I sold Slingshot – there’s no difference. We have a nice house and we’ve had some great travelling experiences for sure. But I don’t spend a lot of money – we don’t spend a lot of money. Almost all of the money I made from Slingshot has been reinvested in other businesses. I bought our house which is a huge accomplishment for me, but everything else has gone into making more money.            Anna: Usually we ask about our guest’s specialisms, which in this case is sponsorships. Jackie: It’s everything, Anna. What do you mean, just sponsorship?! For a beginner, what is sponsorship and how can a small business owner make opportunities work for them? Jackie: In a nutshell, sponsorship is a collaboration between two businesses. Most people look at sponsorship as a transaction of giving somebody logos or branding or badging in return for money, but in a lot of cases the big sponsorships are done in contra. In a way, the website agency I was just talking about – I swapped to be a case study for them and they gave me a website. In a sense that was a sponsorship and I think the future of all business is sponsorship. Most people will be familiar with stuff like FireFest and Beats by Dre. All of that is sponsorship.     Any kind of collaboration between two organisations is effectively sponsorship. How do you handle that first approach, then? I imagine that those relationships and creating those first impressions are very important. Jackie: Actually, one of the things you said was the right and the other thing you didn’t. A lot of people think it’s who you know. Everybody thinks: ‘Well, I could sell sponsorship if I just knew the head of HSBC.’ I know the head of HSBC and I’ve never ever sold him anything because I everything I ever had wasn’t a good fit for what they did. Knowing people isn’t the point but what you also said is having a first impression. Where people fall flat is they don’t really understand what they’re selling, they don’t package it very well and they don’t value it. It’d be like going into a shop without a price tag, with rubbish stuff in the window, you wouldn’t go in. Same deal with sponsorship. And I think there needs to be an increase in professionalism for making those approaches and I think that Slingshot was testament to that because effectively, that’s all we did. I didn’t create events, I didn’t make something better – I took what I had and made it valuable to brands. When a small business is starting out, what kind of information and events can they seek out to help them? Jackie: I think there are two things. If you’re a rights holder, say you are an event or an online publication or a podcast or a travel blogger or whatever, it really is about how you package your assets and then understanding which brands to approach. I’ve written a book called Pinpoint which is the only book dedicated to sponsorship sales. If you are a brand looking for a sponsorship, that in a way is easier because everybody wants money but from a brand perspective, it really is Is the event you’re interested in going to speak to your target audience? Do you have a good reason for being there? Is it authentic? Are you going to approach it in an interesting way? How can you connect with people in a genuine and authentic way? And that’s best done by market research? Jackie: I think it’s dependent on the brand but yeah, market research, I think, understanding your audience. Let’s just say you’re after mums. Let’s say you’re a new gym for mums, or… I don’t know, I’m not a mother, this is the worst thing to go! You can actually look for a platform out there to reach mums. Race for Life is a huge one and it’s in local communities. But let’s say you want mums based in Leeds. You can find forums and groups within Leeds and the events they’re approaching or the physical venue space. There might be a digital community or a forum and then say: ‘This is my product and I’m interested in working with you as a sponsorship.’ Not advertising – I’d never recommend advertising. And most people will have a sponsorship package. What kind of things should you be looking for in that package, then? Jackie: I would always look for opportunities that go beyond a logo – I don’t think badging is valuable anymore. Brand recall used to be valuable in the 80s, but we’re hit with 60,000 messages a day now. Your brain just gets tuned off. So, I’d be looking for what kind of assets engage with your audience. Speaking opportunities would be something because they give you an opportunity to talk. Guest blog spots, posts, can we run a joint promotion, a campaign? Can we distribute free product? Those are the kinds of things I think really push the needle on sponsorship.     As mentioned in the intro, these days you’re running Rebel Pi, an ice wine company, which is quite a niche. It’s also quite a risky business – you were explaining that it’s very dependent on temperature, weather conditions and people being able to pick grapes quickly in the middle of the night at short notice. How do you manage this risk, particularly in terms of cash flow? Jackie: I’d probably say that I’m not managing it well. I went from selling ideas to selling a physical product which I wanted to do to test myself. It is very hard from a production standpoint because the only way to make ice wine is picking grapes at below -8C. If it doesn’t get below -8C, you don’t have a vintage, you don’t have a product. So, you have to be patient, you have to work with really smart people in the vineyard who know how to create ice wine each year and you have to be willing to ride it out. In our first year, we’ve done really well, we’ve sold about 60pc of our bottles. It’s now listed in places like City Social, 67 Pall Mall, Pied a Terre, Dinner by Heston – all those kinds of top places. Now for me it’s asking: ‘Do we have enough production for next year?’ We’re holding back stock, so that if we didn’t get a vintage next year, we could then still distribute. I wouldn’t want you to be able to go into a restaurant, be able to order it and then next month you can’t – for 12 months. I’m managing stock but from a financial perspective, I’m taking a hit, basically. I’m not talking about being profitable on this until year three, really. It will be – if all things go to plan – it’s not winter yet – if all things go to plan, it should be fine for next year. But in the event that we’re not, I’m looking long-term at this.   I created this product because I was on TV and I didn’t want to waste my 15 minutes of fame. I wanted to have something that people could buy. That was a stupid strategy because the majority of the people who watch The Apprentice are 14-year-old girls. They can’t even legally buy my wine! I launched the business with an expectation that was incorrect and I’ve had to fix it. I’ve changed the strategy and everything’s fine. It’s great – I’m super-excited to be working with a product that you can touch, you can taste – I’m excited about it.     It does seem like you have a very clear target market, especially the premium which I think people are moving away from more disposable, fast type things to buying less but better quality. It’s a better direction to go in. Jackie: For sure – people are drinking less, people are buying less, but when they do it, they want to enjoy it. That’s certainly what I’ve found personally, and amongst my group of friends. And the greatest thing about ice wine in the UK market is that almost nobody’s had it. When do you get to give somebody a first? It’s so unheard of. I’m so excited about that.          Yeah, for sure. You mentioned The Apprentice and it giving you a kind of platform. But you were already a seasoned and successful entrepreneur when you went on The Apprentice, having sold Slingshot. Alan Sugar even fired for you for being too experienced to be the business partner that he wanted. What did you get out of the programme in the end? Jackie: I’ll go back to the first part. The only reason I did The Apprentice was because I sold my business. I don’t know if I would’ve had the courage to do so before, but I’d built enough of a name for myself so if I came across looking awful, at least I had a fallback on my previous success. Well, I mean you don’t know. You have no idea what you’re going into, so I was lucky. Anna: So much of it is in the edit as well, isn’t it? You never know what’s going to happen! Jackie: It’s unrealistic to think that – first of all, it’s an entertainment programme and I am not stupid to not be aware of that. It would also be naïve to think that you are 100pc great 100pc of the time. There are very long days, you’re working with people you don’t know, you have no idea what to expect, you can’t prep at all. All of those mistakes that I made that were absolutely hilarious, I totally made. That’s not an edit, that’s 100pc what I did because that’s what happens – that’s what happens in life. You just don’t have a camera following you around 24/7 waiting for you to mess up. But in terms of what I took away from it, so when I got asked, I was like: ‘I don’t even know if I can do this’, but then I did. My husband was very kind and said if I was awful, we would fly to India and blow off steam for a year. Fortunately, we didn’t have to move. Now, in hindsight, if you asked if I would do it again I would do it in a heartbeat. It was so different than what I expected. What I got out of it was experience doing totally different things which I love. If I could spend a year doing that every single day, I would. Anna: Oh yeah, the variety’s so much fun. Jackie: I got to make doughnuts, I sold stuff at a bodybuilding thing, I created an art gallery. You couldn’t do those things in a lifetime. I was really fortunate to do that. I still talk to Claude Littner (one of Lord Sugar’s advisors) a lot and he’s been great and met some great people on it as well. What was your favourite part of the process? Jackie: I think my favourite part – at the time it was pretty stressful – I can say that I didn’t love being in the house. I loved doing the tasks. My favourite task was possibly the art task. Wait no, actually, that’s a lie – the shoe task! I lost, but my favourite task though. What made it your favourite? Jackie: I got to design a shoe! I love shoes and I got to be the boss, which I like to be because it’s easier. It was a lot of fun. It also played to my wheelhouse like selling stuff to businesses – and B2B sales is what I do. You said you got along well with Claude. There was one contestant you didn’t have a particularly good relationship with. What advice do you have for working with a personality that clashes with your own? Jackie: I think The Apprentice isn’t a real-life situation. My recommendation to myself was having more patience which I did not have. In a real-life situation, honestly, and this is not what people would say – avoid the person, quite honestly. You won’t always get on with everybody, and people won’t always get along with you. And that’s OK, there’s nothing wrong with that. Being able to work with somebody that you don’t like is an asset. I wouldn’t try to beat a dead horse. You shouldn’t really be there to make friends with people, you’re there to do your job. You should also try not to make their job harder. My honest advice would be to have minimal interaction with the person you don’t like. Anna: Just trying to stay out of each other’s space, I guess. Jackie: Which in The Apprentice was impossible because we were living together!   Anna: Smashing. Well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast, Jackie. Jackie: Thanks for having me, Anna. Anna: You can find out more about Jackie at jackiefast.com. You can also visit smallbusiness.co.uk for more guidance on bootstrapping your business and managing your cash flow. Remember to like us on Facebook @SmallBusinessExperts and follow us on Twitter @smallbusinessuk, all lower case. Until next time, thank you for listening.    

Have you thought about shaping your legacy? Jackie Green and Lauren Green McAfee reminds us how a woman's every day shapes an eternal legacy in their new book, Only One Life. Jackie Green: A wife to Steve for 33 1/2 years, mother to six children, a mother-in-law and Gigi to her 4 grandchildren. Jackie is the co-founder of Museum of the Bible and relishes her roles to her family and supports Steve as President of Hobby Lobby and Chairman of the Board of Museum of the Bible. Lauren Green McAfee: A wife to Michael for 8 1/2 years. She is a speaker, writer, connector, and coffee enthusiast. She received her graduate degrees in Pastoral Counseling and Theology. And during this time, she worked at Museum of the Bible in its founding days. Today, Lauren works at Hobby Lobby as Corporate Ambassador all the while pursuing a PhD in Ethics and Public Policy. What two beautiful living legacies! "There's just no better goal to have in life than to pass on your faith to your family." ~ Jackie Green BOOK: Only One Life Connect with Lauren Green McAfee Connect with Jackie Green   Enjoy the multitude of topics discussed including Jesus and coffee, intentionality, legacy of courage, prayer, and eternal significance. Be inspired as you continue to shape your legacy! Only One Life Book Jesus & coffee Legacy Museum of the Bible Foundational connection Marie Green I need You, God! Little things Intentionality A full plate Busyness Susanna Wesley Living it out! Right here & now Faith Every day Perfection Amy Orr-Ewing Elizabeth Anne Everest Legacy of Courage Religious freedom Esther Preparation of heart 12 Character traits Prayer Seasons Fear Depression Be in the Bible Infertility Adoption Marriage How did it get away from me? Balance Eternal significance BOOK: Only One Life Connect with Lauren Green McAfee Connect with Jackie Green "Legacy is much bigger than possessions. It's the values that we instill in people, the impact that we have on other lives, and allowing that to live on beyond us." ~ Lauren Green McAfee   Quotes and statements within the interview: "Legacy --- What is that lives on passed you." ~ Max Lucado "Because of that foundation, we want to pass that along to future generations in our lives." ~ Lauren "Sometimes we make it bigger than it needs to be." ~ Jackie "Have I set my legacy goal?" ~ Jackie "Every day, we can choose to invest in the smalls things that will make a difference long term, but it does take intentionality cause that schedule will get away with itself." ~ Lauren "Are we interacting with our children in a loving, faithful way?" ~ Lauren "Seeing their real lives and just the grit that they had to walk forward no matter what came was encouraging to me to realize --- OK, well maybe we're not all that different. We have the same faith in common and that can help get us through." ~ Lauren "But no, I think we've got to grasp the every day." ~ Jackie "For me, I tell myself --- Jackie, God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called." ~ Jackie "I just really got a lot of encouragement from seeing her a couple steps further in life than I am right now." ~ Lauren "For me, I just had to learn to be courageous and really trust in the Lord." ~ Jackie "God really does provide us of the courage that we need and the tenacity and the strength to endure things that we never wanted to or never thought we would." ~ Jackie "By re-reading my book in twenty years, what women will I then be relating in a different way that I'm not today, because of the experiences I'll have in the future." ~ Lauren "Prayer was a big life lesson for me at that time." ~ Jackie "It's being willing to go on that journey and embrace the moments, the teachable moments that God can provide us every day. But what are we going to do with them?" ~ Jackie "It's been interesting to try and navigate through friendships as season change and continue to invest in each other." ~ Lauren "Having a strong marriage cause that is an important aspect of our legacy." ~ Lauren "I might be halfway through my life. Wow! How did I get here so quickly?" ~ Jackie   What has your story gifted you, Lauren? Faithfulness "In everywhere I turn, that God has been in with me in the difficult and in the hard things. And that's something that brings a lot of comfort for walking forward in the future with joy." What has your story gifted you, Jackie? Knowing where my strength comes from "My strength has come from knowing where my strength comes from whatever my story might be." "I never walk alone. He's with me all the way."   Resources mentioned in the episode: BOOK: Only One LifeConnect with Lauren Green McAfeeConnect with Jackie Green Twitter: https://twitter.com/JackieDGreen Twitter: https://twitter.com/LaurenAMcAfee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LaurenAMcAfee1/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jackiedgreenok/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laurenamcafee/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jackiedcgreen/   "One step at a time leads to miles of greatness!"   Subscribe to Create Your Now TV on YouTube. Listen to Create Your Now on Spotify. Listen to Create Your Now on iHeart Radio. Click here. The Create Your Now Archives are LIVE!! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here.  http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 and http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 Contact me at YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com THE NO FUSS MEAL PLAN Instagram @CreateYourNow @Kristianne Wargo Twitter @KristianneWargo @CreateYourNow Facebook www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow   PERISCOPE USERS!!! Click here for ANDROID Users / GOOGLE  https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=tv.periscope.android Click here for APPLE Users  https://itunes.apple.com/app/id972909677   Read more from Kristianne, a contributor to The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Thrive Global, Addicted2Succes, and She Owns It. https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-things-to-do-while-waiting-for-success-to-manifest-in-your-life/ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kristianne-wargo/ http://bit.ly/9amHabits https://journal.thriveglobal.com/how-to-configure-a-sleep-pattern-fit-for-you-d8edd3387eaf#.sniv275c3 https://sheownsit.com/when-failure-is-your-middle-name/   DOMESTIC BEAUTIES (Announcements) 1. Come and let's connect on Facebook - Women Of IMPACT  http://facebook.com/groups/thewomenofimpact 2. Create Your Now ~ Your Best Selfie can be heard on iHeart Radio and Spotify! 3. Create Your Now Archive 1 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive1 4. Create Your Now Archive 2 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive2 5. Create Your Now Archive 3 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive3 6. Create Your Now Archive 4 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive4 7. Create Your Now Archive 5 is LIVE! You can subscribe and listen to all the previous episodes here. http://bit.ly/CYNarchive5 8. NEW Website! Go check it out and tell me what you think. http://www.createyournow.com 9. Sign Up for The A.I.M. Academy! You will be the first to learn all about it. http://createyournow.com/m-academy-2 10. Schedule a Discovery Call. This is a free 30-45 minute call for those serious about coaching with me. 11. Newsletter and Library: If you desire to get weekly emails, be sure to sign up here so you can stay connected. http://createyournow.com/library   Cover Art by Jenny Hamson   Music by Mandisa - Overcomer http://www.mandisaofficial.com Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) 9t One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -  Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

In today’s episode, your host Catherine Turner interviews coach, trainer and professional property strategist Jackie Tomes. Jackie is known as ‘The Property Strategist’ and through her business ‘Tomes Homes’ she has built a portfolio worth over 5.5million in just five and a half years, all before the age of 30. Hear how Jackie is able to run a multi-million-pound business and still go on holiday every six weeks. That’s leverage! Catherine and Jackie discuss how leverage and systems can get you out of your business and help you to achieve your dreams. Hear how you too, can begin leveraging straight away to get more done and focus on the tasks that you enjoy. Learn how different personality types and the impact of wealth dynamics can help you to grow your business and get the right people doing the right tasks. Finally, get inspired as Catherine asks Jackie a host of quick-fire questions about life, leverage and business advice. KEY TAKEAWAYS Catherine: What does a leveraged lifestyle mean to you? Jackie: Leveraged lifestyle is about living your perfect lifestyle and being able to do that because you have leveraged your business. Jackie: We’ve gradually systemised the business, my ideal role is to sit in an overall strategic role within the business. I’m still involved heavily in the viewings and the property sourcing,  I didn’t choose property out of passion so it’s important I take as much time as possible to be strategic and ensure we are working towards the vision of the business and we are as systemised as possible. Catherine: Where do you spend most of your time in the business now? Jackie: It’s very easy to do too many things at once, so the property strategy business that sits a long Tomes Homes allows me to be creative and help others streamline their business and achieve their goals. The property strategy business is mainly consultancy works and we work with people that are just starting out or people that aren’t quite getting what they want out of their property business. Catherine: What is your favourite app or software that allows to create more leverage? Jackie: Asana, this completely revolutionised my brain and allowed me to manage all of my tasks and delegate them to other people. We also started using Slack to communicate within the team which has been a brilliant addition. Catherine: Whats a top piece of advice that you can share with the listeners? Focus, don’t try to do too many thing. Do what you do really well and don't move onto something new until you’ve got what you do working really well. Catherine: If you could solve one problem in the world what would you solve and why? Jackie: It’s around financial literacy, to teach kids growing up the skills that actually need to be successful on the financial side of their life. BEST MOMENTS “I just wanted the passive, residual income to have a better more leveraged life” “Don’t outsource the things you love about your business. A leveraged lifestyle is about doing the things you love and enjoy.” “If you're clear on your vision and values you can more easily work towards them or maintain them if you’re living the life you want.” “I like seeing problems and putting things together to solve problems” “Investing in property came as a functional facilitator to a leveraged life” “Wait for 18months - 2years to see the results of setting something up. Focus on one thing and use your time wisely to avoid burnout” VALUABLE RESOURCES Wealth Dynamics (Personality profile creator) http://www.wealthdynamics.com/ http://www.tomeshomes.com/ Episode 1: Leveraged Lifestyle Life Leverage Online Masterclass - Unlimited Success Hellofresh.com Asana.com Slack.com ABOUT THE HOST Catherine Turner, your host of Leveraged Lifestyle. Catherine has been investing in Property since 2012, with her main strategy now Serviced Accommodation which she, and now her team, have grown from 1 to 18 properties in less than 24 months. Catherine is probably best known for her public speaking successfully training thousands of people how to create businesses that can be run from anywhere in the world on their own terms, and becoming a world record holder in the process. Catherine is the host of the podcast, Leveraged Lifestyle, which reached No. 1 in all Business in the iTunes podcast chart in less than 3 hours on launch. Leveraged Lifestyle is all about creating a lifestyle of freedom, through leverage, outsourcing and systematising. Catherine’s Website - http://www.catherineaturner.com/ LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/catherineturnerspeaker Leveraged Lifestyle Podcast Details iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/…/leveraged-lifestyl…/id1380225106… Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/…/progressivepr…/leverage-lifestyle ABOUT THE GUEST: Why did you decide to start investing in property? Maybe you wanted more freedom to do what you love to do? Or more money to spend on your perfect lifestyle? Or perhaps more time to spend with those you love? But, how can you be absolutely sure that the actions you are taking today in property are actually helping you achieve this? With Jackie you will discover how having a PROPER property strategy will help you to: Get focus & clarity on how to successfully scale your property business Remove any frustration, overwhelm & make sure you are building the right business for YOU Take control & create a property business that will give you the business / lifestyle balance that you desire A year ago Jackie would have answered yes to all of these questions, and now she is able to consider projects costing £millions thanks to the power of JV finance. The first ever & only property expert to be an accredited practitioner of BGI’s Strategy on a Page will show you the power of strategy to transform not only your property business, but your life too. CONTACT GUEST: Jackietomes.com https://www.facebook.com/jackietomes1

In this episode, you’re going to hear dialogue containing the vocabulary words that your teacher Eliot defined in Vocabulary Lesson 4. These are 4 words all related to technology: Device, Mobile, Innovation, and Revolutionize. If you haven’t listened to episode 4 yet, you might want to listen to that first, so that you know the definitions of these words. Listen here.  The topic of technology is a popular source of questions on the IELTS Speaking test. If you like this lesson, please subscribe for more IELTS Vocabulary lessons! Oh and by the way! We’re looking for volunteers to help us translate the show transcripts from English to your first language. If you are interested, please email me at naomi@magoosh.com with the subject line “translation,” and let me know what language you can translate into!     Episode Transcript (Translations: Tiếng Việt) Welcome to the Magoosh IELTS Podcast! This is Lesson 9. In this episode, you’re going to hear dialogue containing the vocabulary words that your teacher Eliot defined in Vocabulary Lesson 4. These are 4 words all related to technology: Device, Mobile, Innovation, and Revolutionize. If you haven’t listened to episode 4 yet, you might want to listen to that first, so that you know the definitions of these words. I’ll put a link in the show notes. Also, check out the show notes to get your free download: the IELTS vocabulary list, which contains these words and others that you’ll find on the test. Plus visit IELTS.Magoosh.com for more great resources to improve your IELTS band score. Use coupon code “ieltspodcast” to save 20% off your IELTS test prep! Okay let’s get started! Listen to this dialogue between Ada and Jackie as Jackie helps Ada buy a new phone. See if you can pick out the 4 IELTS vocabulary words as you listen. Dialogue Part 1 Ada: Hi there! I’ve just moved here from the United Kingdom...so obviously my UK phone doesn’t work anymore. I’m looking to get a new SIM card so that I can use my mobile phone here in America...or I might even be open to buying a new device altogether, depending on how much it would cost. Is that something you could help me with? Jackie: Yes, of course! We do offer some plans that are SIM card only, depending on whether the device you’re using is compatible with our company’s SIM cards. Would you prefer a SIM card only plan, or do you think maybe it’s time for a new phone? Ada: Are the SIM card only plans cheaper? Jackie: Well yes. Since you aren’t paying for the price of a brand new mobile phone, the SIM card only plans tend to cost less…though we do have a couple of deals going on right now that would allow you to get a pretty great phone for much cheaper than they would normally cost brand new. Ada: Okay, I’ll think about it. Can you tell me a little about the SIM card only plans that you offer?  Jackie: Sure, but before we get started, why don’t you let me have a look at your phone, and I can tell you if it will be compatible with any of our SIM cards. Unfortunately if it’s not compatible you’ll need to get a new device in order to use our cards. Ada: Yeah, no problem, here’s my phone.   Jackie: …Oh yeah, this mobile is pretty old. Let me just check in back and see if we have any of the older SIM cards left in stock. Ada: Okay, thanks.   Jackie: …I’m sorry. I don’t think we have anything that is compatible with your current phone. On the bright side, maybe it’s time for an upgrade! Would you be interested in seeing some of the newer devices that we have available? Ada: Yeah sure, why not. Jackie: Great, let’s start with this one...So this is the XC-500, and it’s got all your standard smartphone features, plus a high definition screen. And the developers have made some huge innovations with the voice recognition technology – basically you can set it up to respond specifically to your voice. So that’s pretty cool. Ada: Yeah, that’s neat.   Jackie: ...And then this is the Edge 5 Series, which is also a great device. It comes with a stylus and a physical keyboard, if you prefer a more revolutionized Blackberry-style phone. But see here: there’s still a touch screen and all that good stuff. Ada: Oh neat, yeah I never quite got the hang of typing on touch screens, I think my fingers are too big or something. Jackie: Yeah, the touch screens tend to be very sensitive – which obviously is an amazing innovation considering that touch screen technology really only became available in the last ten years...but some people definitely still prefer physical keyboards. Ada: Okay, great. Are there any other phones that you would recommend? Jackie: Is there anything in particular that you’re looking for in a mobile device? Ada: Well if I’m going to be buying a new phone anyways, I would love to get one that has a really good camera – preferably one that can do high definition video. I do a lot of photography and video recordings with my current phone, and I’ve noticed that even though the picture quality is pretty good when there’s enough light, the video always turns out really pixelated and low quality. Do you have any affordable devices that have cameras specifically made for video?  Jackie: Oh, I know just the thing…Okay, so this is the G5-Pro. This phone just came out a few weeks ago, and it’s totally revolutionized the way that we take videos using mobile devices. Basically the main problem facing phone developers has been that there isn’t enough storage space on the devices to store high definition videos. So it’s not even a matter of the quality of the camera lens…there just isn’t enough space on the phone. But with the G5-Pro, they’ve made some major innovations to how we store data. Basically everything is uploaded immediately to the cloud, so space is no longer an issue. Anyways, if you’re looking for a phone with a good video camera, this is the device for you! Ada: Wow, that sounds like just what I’m looking for! Jackie: Amazing. And more good news – this phone falls under a promotion we’re doing right now, so if you sign up for a plan with us that includes this device, we’ll give you fifty percent off for the first six months! Ada: Okay, that sounds really good, I’d definitely be interested in doing that.   Jackie: Do you want me to go over some of the different phone plans with you, and we can figure out which one best suits your needs? Ada: Yeah, absolutely! Midroll Before we find out which phone plan Ada will choose, let’s pause for a word from Magoosh.  Do you want a great IELTS score? Magoosh can help!  Here’s what you’ll get with Magoosh:             In-depth video lessons that cover concepts, pitfalls, and shortcuts             Over 200 practice questions to help you prepare for your exam             24/7 email access to a team of smart and fun remote tutors ready to answer your questions So, are you ready to improve your score and get into your dream program? Great! We’re ready to help you. Visit us at ielts.magoosh.com and use coupon code “ieltspodcast” to save 20% off your IELTS test prep. That’s it! Now back to the story! Dialogue Part 2 Jackie: Okay, so we have three different types of mobile phone plans for the G5-Pro. All the plans have slightly different features, but the biggest difference is the amount of data you’ll be getting – and obviously the price of the plan. Do you have an idea of how much data you use in a month? Ada:  Hmm, not really. Even though I have a smart phone, I don’t think I’ve had a phone plan that included data before. I would just connect to the WiFi if I wanted to use any of those features. Jackie: Do you want to stick with a no-data plan? Or would you be interested in trying out a plan with a little bit of data? Ada: I mean…if it’s affordable then it would be great to have a plan with data. Especially for stuff like the GPS. It’s such a hassle to have to look up the maps ahead of time. And I’m sure I’ll be getting lost a lot since I’m new to this area.  Jackie: Yeah, the GPS is a great feature. And being able to look up maps while on the go will really revolutionize the way you get around. Plus, the good news is that the GPS app actually uses relatively little data. So even if you use the GPS on a daily basis, you probably wouldn’t need a plan with more than one gigabyte of data a month. Ada: [laughs] Yeah, I have no idea how much a gigabyte is. Jackie: Don’t worry, most people don’t. So one gigabyte of data would allow you to send or receive about 1,000 emails or browse the Internet for about 20 hours every month. Ada: Wow, that’s a lot! Jackie: Yes, and that’s actually the smallest amount of data on a monthly plan that we offer – besides no data of course. Ada: What’s your plan with the most data? Jackie: Our plan with the most data offers 16 gigabytes worth of data. So that’s 320 hours of Internet browsing a month. It’s actually an amazing deal, because it only costs $10 more than our next largest data plan, which is only 4 gigabytes a month.  Ada: How can people even use 16 gigabytes in a month…that’s like…what, ten hours a day? No one could possibly be on their phone that much. Jackie: Well it’s actually easier than you think. Say, for example, you are downloading files, or streaming video…those kinds of activities require a lot more data than just scrolling through Facebook. But you’re right, 16 gigabytes is a lot of data. What we’ve found is that most people who go for this plan actually are using their phones as mobile hotspots for their computers and other devices. Ada: What does that mean? Jackie: Well, a mobile hotspot is basically a secure WiFi network. But instead of the WiFi coming from a box that’s installed in your house and connected to cables in the ground, the WiFi is coming directly from your phone, using your data plan. Ada: Wow, so you’re saying that I could connect my computer to the Internet through my phone anywhere that I had phone service? Jackie: That’s right! Mobile hotspot technology has totally innovated how we connect to the Internet, especially for people who work on their computers. Whereas before now you would have to go to a library or coffee shop to work, with this data plan you can access the Internet from almost anywhere you want! Ada: Okay, that actually sounds really amazing. How much does that plan cost per month? Jackie: It’s $50 per month, but with our promotion it would only cost you $25 a month for the first six months. Ada: Wow, that’s such a good deal! Sign me up!   So how did you do? Did you hear and understand all of the vocabulary words? If you need more practice, check out the show notes for a transcript of this episode so that you can follow along and listen again. Oh and by the way! We’re looking for volunteers to help us translate the show transcripts from English to your first language. If you are interested, please email me at naomi@magoosh.com with the subject line “translation,” and let me know what language you can translate into!   Thanks for listening! If you like our show, help us out by leaving a rating and review in Apple Podcasts, it helps people find us! And don’t forget to hit the subscribe button so you don’t miss the next lesson. Until next time! This is Naomi at Magoosh, wishing you happy studying!