Brandi and Danni are two sisters who just happen to be dead inside. With no fulfilling careers, longtime relationships, or children, they turn to the only thing promised to give them a feeling: art. Every week, Brandi and Danni will get face to face with art, discuss the wack history behind it, and…
Here he is! Ring the bells! Sound the trumpets! Brandi's favorite artist is here and it is Bernini. Our beautiful baroque boy is the cream of the crop, queen of rome, and master of marble. And you make think this perfect sculptor never struggled in his whole career well YOU WOULD BE WRONG. Our sweet innocent babe was cheated and besmirched by jealous architects who knew nothing about art! But our precious lad would not be down for long. Join us as we discuss exactly how he catapulted himself right back to the top. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
She stretches her hand out towards you. Will you shake it?!?! Historical AF Podcast and Art Sistory say "yes!" in this collab from the pre-Civil War stars! And Shake Hands? (1854) is the wonderfully weird painting Kyna and Natalee have brought for us to put to the test today. Join us as we go on a journey with Lilly Martin Spencer, a plethora of sugar art daddies, and some cheeky paintings which men were just too dumb to understand. Find more Historical AF Podcast here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1459756725 And check our instagram here! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/
The Sistine Chapel (1508) is the triumph/torture of world's most famous and crustiest artist. Michelangelo may have never painted before but there was one thing he was definitely a master of; being a lil' bitch. And by lil', I mean absolutely gigantic. Today we tackle this monster and dish all the goss on our final ninja turtle and the lord of the twunks. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Raphael! Master of the Renaissance! Painter of Beauty! And a sweet perfect boy who charmed all he met. All except... Michelangelo! Why did the almighty painter of twunks hate our sweet angel baby? And what did Raphael do about it? Come with us on the Dolce Vita as we dish the goss on the only heterosexual ninja turtle and reveal how the sweet can also be a bit spicy... Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
*Attention! This episode has discussions of sexual assault and rape. Skip the below timecodes if needed** No one paints a head chopping like Artemisia Gentileschi. It's got all you could ever want: blood, horror, drama, and a badass woman empowered by sweet righteous fury. Artemisia is the queen of the Baroque and queen of my heart. Don't take my word for it. Just look at her art. 18:23 - 27:47 discussion of sexual assault, rape, and torture Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
If there was any sculpture that could be called the gayest, it would be this. Donatello's David (1450s) is a bastion of homoerotic glory. From his booty to his tooty, he is the one twink to rule them all. Step aside haters, because this David embodies queer culture in Renaissance Florence and even Michelangelo's legendary twunk is quaking. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
It's a wild love story filled with passion and hardships in Renaissance Florence! A painter, forced to be a friar, and his beautiful model, forced to be a nun, a romance that can never be but falling in love anyway. JK! Actually it's just one horny dude and a nun he may or may not have kidnapped. Fra Filippo Lippi is the first rascal of the Renaissance and while no Medici could pin him down, he'll always have a place in our hearts. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore, murder, and violence. Skip the below timecodes if needed** We are in the CRADLE OF THE RENAISSANCE! Florence town. Firenze is finally here. Brandi's heart explodes. And boy oh boy does she have a story for us. Easter Sunday. The Duomo. And MURDER?!?! Oh baby, stay tuned and find out why you never kill the hot and popular, siding with the pope is dumb, and balls balls balls always wins. 37:10 - 40:20 discussion of violent stabbing and murder 47:18 - 48:31 discussion of hanging 48:52 - 51:58 - discussion of hanging and post-mortem mutilation Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
It's a spectacle. It's a popularity contest. It's a fun fair. It's a nightmare. Welcome to the 58th Venice Biennale! It's the art olympics where countries compete to be most... something. And Danni is here to sift through the garbage for you! And what has she found? Oh! More garbage! (In the form of the Biennale's Gold Lion winner, Jimmie Durham) Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Have you ever seen an artist that is all BALLS and no SH*T? That's Tintoretto, the nastiest boy in the best way. His art is quick, cheap, and bitchy. It's everything you could ever want in an artist. That is unless, you are one of his many rivals! Come with us as we tell the tale of the nastiest boy who ever was and how this little dirt child started at the bottom and now he here. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Wow. We love Goya. From his bad paintings to his charming smile to his general lumpiness. And we aren't the only ladies who loved a little Goya in their lives. Join us as we talk about the two potential hotties who posed for his infamously sexy La Maja Vestida (1805) and La Maja Desnuda (1800). Plus some discussion of a few perverts, secret love affairs, and the Spanish Inquisition for good measure. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Have you ever seen a painting and thought, "what"? Well, that's exactly how you should feel when face to face with the most WTF paintings in the Louvre, Gabrielle d'Estrées and One of her Sisters (1594). But fear not! Because in a landslide collaboration between two badass art podcasts, Kieve Rodeheaver of Please Touch the Art Podcast, is here to tell us all about this hot lady, her scandalous dealings with the devil, and why the hell she's getting her nipple pinched. Find more of Kieve here! https://www.krodeheaverart.com/please-touch-the-art And check our instagram here! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/
It is the puzzle that stumps all art historians. The enigma painting. The truly inscrutable masterpiece. It is Las Meninas (1656) by Diego Velazquez. What is going on in this ding dang thing!? Art historians have been debating that for centuries. We might never know. But one thing we do know for sure? Velazquez is very good at painting. And this just might be the best painting ever painted. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore and executions. Skip the below timecodes if needed** This week we got nasty! Well, mostly Danni. She became compelled to tell the frightful story of James Scott and his horrible portrait that hangs in London's National Gallery. Now London has a long and varied history of death and disgust but Danni may have found the worst of the bunch! This one gets bloody. And we are all sorry. 24:22 - 27:53 talk regarding executioners (little gore discussed) 27:53 - 29:52 brief discussion of first botched execution (some gore) 29:52 - 33:50 in depth discussion of James Scott’s execution and post-mortem portrait painting, warning! (very gory) Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
We are in Victorian England! And there's nothing the Victorians loved more than a scandal. And John Everett Millais was an expert at getting wrapped up in them. Yes, his painting, Christ in the House of his Parents (1849), was so shocking that Charles Dickens denounced it publicly. But that's child's play for Millais. The real juice comes from his wife, Effie Gray, and her salaciously non salacious marital status. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Our good friend and french art history buff, Hadley Leary, sent us on a mission to find the one, the only, Élisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun and her painting, Peace Bringing Back Abundance (1780). This painting was Le Brun's slap to the patriarchy! Her karate chop to the systemized oppression! And her refusal to be pinned down as just one kind of painter. She is a fireball of feminist excellence (and also maybe possibly definitely had a lesbian affair with Marie Antoinette). Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
What is it about her? Her knowing gaze? Those bald brows? That subtle smile? There is something about the Mona Lisa (1503) that makes everybody go gaga! Kings were poopin' with it! Boys were throwing themselves off buildings for it! And the French police were accusing Picasso of stealing it! What is the story behind this enigmatic lady and what Da Vinci code secrets could she be concealing? Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
We've made it to Paris and it's got the key to our heart. This town also got more art than any town has the right to have. And out of all the masterpieces upon masterpieces at the Louvre we found the greatest one of all: The Venus de Milo. Is it because of her beauty? Her grace? Her rarity? Her importance? Of course not! It's because some 100 year old French marketing campaign said it was the best and we all believed it! Come with us and find out why the Venus de Milo stands on a bed of lies rather than the plinth she was discovered with. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Did you know that there is a church on the outskirts of Prague, decorated with hundreds of human bones?!? With all those bones, you gotta wonder, who do they belong to? And that's just what Danni is here to tell us! And the story takes us through cookin' gooses, multiple crusades, battle wagons, and a skin drum. Join us as we explore the Sedlec Ossuary and all the wild things that went into it's bone daisy chains. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Welcome to our first ever collab episode! Today our good friend and Prague expert, Eve Asher, sent us on a horrible adventure to see the art of the resident Czech Republic Bad Boy, David Černý. His art may be full of cheeky twists and turns but the one thing we can all be sure of is that Černý sucks! Today, we saw his Babies (1999) sculptures which are horrible and good fun but be warned, they will burn your butt off if you climb them in the sun. Beezle learned that the hard way. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
How does one man's art go from petty theater dressings to gracing every teens' phone case and tumblr background? Well, all it takes is talent, sugar daddies, luck, and call from the one and only Sarah Bernhardt. That's the exact cocktail our Czech friend, Alphonse Mucha, cooked up that launched him to stardom! And now every pretty Art Nouveau illustration of a lady with flowing drapery and frilly flowers is his fault. And your new obsession with Sarah Bernhardt is my fault. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Have you ever seen somebody so hot you think, hey, that can't be real? That's not allowed! That should be impossible! Well, neither had we until we saw THE QUEEN!! The Bust of Nefertiti (1345) is like Angelina Jolie in Maleficent peak hotness but brown. And the real Queen Nefertiti is even better. She changed the canon, changed the religion, and changed THE GAME. Come learn about Nefertiti's legacy, incest?!?, piracy, Hitler, and more in this episode of Art Sistory! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
The Severan Tondo (200) will blow ya goddamn mind. First of all, it features the family of the Roman Emperor, Septimus Severus, a guy who won the throne after the bloody Year of the 5 Emperors. But that's not even the crazy part. His son's face is erased in one of the most widespread and famous cases of Damnatio Memoriae ever found. Annnnd, he's probably definitely most likely Severus Snape's dad. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
On the finale of our Russia extravaganza, Danni takes us to the most famous painting in the Hermitage, Danaë (1636)! Now she looks a little... melted.. now but that doesn't mean she doesn't contain multitudes! And she does! Like underneath that face modeled off of Rembrandt's girlfriend, is the face of his dead wife! Woof! Rembrandt you got some 'splaining to do! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
The Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood is the most rock n' roll church in all of Russia. And it's not just the name, Spilled Blood has the chutzpah to back it up. She's got gingerbread aesthetic, bombs in the ceiling, Potato Jesus, and a curse on the Soviet Union! Hang on tight as Brandi attempts to describe the last 200 years of Russian history in 20 minutes. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
We made it to Europe! And our first stop: Fabergé Eggs. Who made 'em? Who were they for? And why are these dumb little things so expensive?! Danni is here to tell you all about it! And it's much more involved than you might expect. Haven't you heard? There's a rumor in St. Petersburg... Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
New Orleans always got music playin', start in the daytime go all through the night. Especially abouts the witching hour when the haunting sound of a funeral hymn comes from the St. Louis Cathedral. And if you went to investigate (and why would you, New Orleans is the most haunted city in the US, ya dummy!!), you just might see the ghost of Pere Dagobert and the echos of a midnight mass he held in secret more than 200 years ago. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
If you've ever been to New Orleans, you may have seen this dog. Just a yellow eyed little so-and-so plastering every hotel, street corner, and restaurant! So why is he so famous? Well, Danni is here to let us know with a story of Cajun werewolves, haunted houses, and Bill Clinton. Also, this will be the last Lil' Sis on the main channel! We'll be posting all our Lil' Sis episodes on Patreon from now on. Check 'em out! https://www.patreon.com/artsistory Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
By this point you must know that Art Sistory loves America, the greatest country in the world. We've got all our pals to thank for that: Tommy J, Benji Frank, Lin Manuel Miranda. But no one can forget the greatest hero of all time, George Washington! Mostly because we built a giant white penis for him in the middle of our capital. But did you know that penis is shrouded in secrets and mystery?! You will! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
This episode is about two things: our beautiful perfect country and bad art! Yes this portrait of Paul Revere (1768) may look just like Jack Black (and it is Jack Black) but that doesn't stop Danni from calling it like it is! Which is an ugly painting. Maybe because it was painted by a good for nothing British loving stink weasel! We'll let you decide. EAGLES! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Have you ever wondered what 39 famous and influential women's vaginas look like? Well you're in luck!! The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is just that! Unless you want to see any women of color or trans women... The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is not that! Ha ha ha! We're conflicted. Join us as we discuss this Last Supper for ladies. Dan Brown would approve. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Madame X is an unconventional beauty! Completely unpaintable! And hopelessly lazy! But she can do whatever she wants. Why? Well it's not just because she's wealthy. Her soul is rich. She knows it. John Singer Sargent knows it. And you know it. Mmm mmm MMM! I feel a scandal a brewin'! Don't you? Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Rosa Bonheur is the original feminist, lesbian, butch, farmcore, horse girl and we must all praise her. She grew up worshiping socialist jesus. She was openly married to her childhood sweetheart, Nathalie. She tricked the police into letting her wear pants. She chain smoked. She hunted. And painted horses with anime eyes. Rosa did it all in the goddamn 1880s and every person on the planet needs to know about her. Her bombastic life literally blew our brains out and it will probably fuck you up for a few days. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
What is in an expression? Is it pride? Sadness? Anger? Love? Why not all at once! Today we discuss our first piece at The Met, "Juan De Pareja" (1650), a captivating portrait by none other than Diego Velasquez, the paragon of the Spanish baroque. Juan may be an enigma but one thing we know is true: he's a stone cold fox, baby! Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Have you ever thought you were going to a house and ended up in an endless horror maze cooked up by a mad man boy child? Well that's what happened to us when we showed up at The House on the Rock in Spring Green, Wisconsin. Imagine a dust maze full of forged Faberge eggs, baroque music machines, sea monsters, and haunted doll bathrooms. It may be the door to the God world but we just call it a crusty old fever dream that everyone needs to see. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
The only original Praxiteles sculpture might just be in Cleveland, Ohio. Or it might be a 19th century lawn gnome. We may never know. And Cleveland certainly isn't telling us. Welcome to our newest episode of twists, turns, art dealing conspiracies, and a nightmarish 4 day old god. It's a good fun time, we swear. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Have you ever seen a big big mirror bean and thought, this is the center of a giant art battle between good and evil? Well it is! "Cloud Gate" (2006), otherwise known as The Bean, was created by a big angry baby who doesn't know how to share and the art world will not let that slide. Let's jump into this years long feud between artists which has created colors, destroyed apartments, and compelled Guy Fieri to cook the art. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
This is it. Perhaps the best art? At the very least, it's better than Degas. "The Child's Bath" (1893) by Mary Cassatt is the art that convinced baby Danni to be an artist. Get ready for some in depth discussions about being a powerful, perfect, best, feminist, impressionist artist who puts all her whiny boy contemporaries to shame. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
"American Gothic" (1930). You know this painting. You've seen this painting. It's got memes, it's got parodies, it's got everything. And it's just a boring portrait of two farmers! Right....? No way! Why would we talk about it if it was boring!? In this episode, Brandi takes us on a journey to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and explains why this painting made a woman want to bite the artist's ear off. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Max Beckmann just can't catch a break! Becoming a medic in WWI, a bunch of nazis calling his art trash, getting exiled from home, being forced to deal with the US visa system! It would drive anyone to madness. Which is why Danni is here to talk all about his "Self-Portrait" (1950) at the St. Louis Art Museum! Let's delve into Max's broken brain and the dumb dumb way he did die. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
A big huge holy moley is it gigantic head, sitting in the middle of the Olympic Sculpture Park, and her name is "Echo" (2011). The monumental sculpture by Juame Plensa is named after a little chatty lady from Greek mythology. And Brandi just can't wait to tell you all about her entanglement with horny gods, a horrible curse, and her crush on the hottest teen you've ever seen. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
We in Seattle! And today we talk about the show, 'yəhaw̓', at the King Street Station. 200 different indigenous artists, a revolutionary curatorial process. Plus Danni just might have a crush on Michaila Taylor and her painting, "Ciuliaq" (2019). We're talkin' parkas, the right to wear red, and why we don't bump our heads on the sky anymore. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
We're in Amarillo! And this is a Lil' Sis, a little baby podcast within a podcast. Today we stumble across a weird art literally jammed into the side of the freeway. And give you just a little taste of the goss. Because with a Lil' Sis, we get right to the point. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Today Brandi and Danni continue their exploration at the de Young museum in San Francisco with the Harald Wagner Teotihuacan Murals (6th century). These mural chunks come from the ancient Mesoamerican city of Teotihuacan, the ding dang City of The Gods. These chunks are awesome! And definitely WEREN'T illegally hacked straight off the wall. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Join us in this first episode of Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni have traveled to the San Francisco de Young museum to see the “Tahitian Woman With a Flower” (1891), by Paul Gauguin. Gaugin may get his own special exhibition but that won't stop Danni from raking him over the coals and setting his nasty nasty legacy aflame. He's the worst bad icky icky bad man and we can't wait to share with you how much we hate him. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email us at artsistory@gmail.com
Check out the trailer for the newest traveling art history podcast, Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni are two sisters that just happen to be dead inside. But they found a solution: art!
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