Podcast appearances and mentions of tina gilbertson

When relationships between parents and adult children become strained, distance can grow quickly. Many parents feel powerless to change things -- or worse, believe they've already made things worse by trying to fix it. But what if the very skills that heal therapeutic relationships could also repair yours? In this practical episode, psychotherapist and host Tina Gilbertson reveals how much of what therapy clients receive from their therapists is actually rooted in attuned parenting. That means the powerful techniques that help people grow and heal in therapy aren't exclusive to clinicians -- they're skills parents can use too. Tina walks through 5 of these therapy skills, showing you exactly what each one is, what they look like in real conversations, and how to practice them. These aren't abstract concepts -- you'll hear specific examples you can adapt for your own relationship. Whether your relationship is currently rocky, distant, or you're worried about future conflict, these skills give you something concrete to try. Don't be caught empty-handed when opportunity knocks. You'll want to start practicing these skills in all your relationships right away. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. https://reconnectionclub.com Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack. https://tinagilbertson.substack.com EPISODE LINKS: The Validation series: Reconnection Club Podcast Episodes 198, 199, 200 and 201 (Starting at https://reconnectionclub.com/198)

In this thoughtful episode, host Tina Gilbertson offers a fresh perspective on a question many parents of young adults wrestle with: How do we help our adult children become independent — and how do we know when to step back versus step in? Drawing on the universal reality that we all have dependency needs throughout our lives, Tina makes the case that genuine independence doesn't come from being left to figure everything out alone. Instead, it grows from the experience of being able to truly depend on others. The ultimate goal isn't total self-sufficiency, but interdependence — the ability to both lean on others and be someone others can lean on. Tina also invites parents to look at their own dependency needs and consider how those may be shaping their adult child's struggles with independence or reliance on them. When the way forward feels unclear, she offers a practical guiding principle: Meet the need that's strongest in the moment, stay open to small, unexpected steps toward independence, and trust that balance between dependence and independence can return over time. For evidence-based information and tools to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack EPISODE LINKS: https://traumatherapistnetwork.com https://www.psychologytoday.com https://www.goodtherapy.org

If you have a college-aged adult child who's creating distance between you, you're not alone. Why do young adults suddenly go from frequent voluntary contact and "I love you" to feeling "smothered"? And how should parents respond? In this episode featuring a recording from a past Q&A call, podcast host Tina Gilbertson, LPC, tackles the problem of college cutoff. You'll hear one family's story that might resemble your own in this essential episode for parents of college-aged adult children. For evidence-based information on estrangement, and tools to repair a troubled parent-adult child relationship, read host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. https://reconnectionclub.com Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack https://tinagilbertson.substack.com EPISODE LINKS: The Reconnection Club Podcast https://reconnectionclub.com/category/podcast/ The Reconnection Club https://reconnectionclub.com For members: The Reconnection Club Resource Library https://reconnectionclub.com/library

One of the hardest things to understand if you didn't abuse your child or children, is that their estrangement may still be a way of protecting themselves. Although there are estranged adult children with horrific stories of abuse and neglect, they are not the only ones creating distance from parents and family. Parents of all backgrounds, temperaments, disciplinary styles and socioeconomic levels are being held at arm's length by adult children who were not abused, and yet are motivated by self-protection. They're not lying. They just might be talking about factors that are all but invisible to you, and even to other family members. In this cornerstone two-part episode (Part 1 can be found at https://reconnectionclub.com/225), you'll learn about relationship dynamics that may be unfamiliar or challenging, that could contribute to your adult child's going no-contact or low-contact. Once you understand what they're protecting themselves from, you can begin the work of reducing the impact of those factors, and healing your relationship. For much more evidence-based information and tools to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join at https://reconnectionclub.com Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack: https://tinagilbertson.substack.com EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 119: Finding Out Where the Boundaries Are https://reconnectionclub.com/119 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 193: The Truth of the Matter https://reconnectionclub.com/193 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 198: Validation (Or Lack Thereof) https://reconnectionclub.com/198 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 149: From Enmeshment to Estrangement https://reconnectionclub.com/149 Personal Healing: More Than a Detour for Rejected Parents https://reconnectionclub.com/bedrock

One of the hardest things to understand if you didn't abuse your child or children, is that their estrangement may still be a way of protecting themselves. Although there are estranged adult children with horrific stories of abuse and neglect, they are not the only ones creating distance from parents and family. Parents of all backgrounds, temperaments, disciplinary styles and socioeconomic levels are being held at arm's length by adult children who were not abused, and yet are motivated by self-protection. They're not lying. They just might be talking about factors that are all but invisible to you, and even to other family members. In this cornerstone two-part episode (Part 2 releases June 15, 2026), you'll learn about relationship dynamics that may be unfamiliar or challenging, that could contribute to your adult child's going no-contact or low-contact. Once you understand what they're protecting themselves from, you can begin the work of reducing the impact of those factors, and healing your relationship. For much more evidence-based information and tools to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child:  https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join: https://reconnectionclub.com Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack: https://tinagilbertson.substack.com

When your adult child stops talking to you, many parents' biggest fear is they'll never come back. If silence goes on for months or years, you might naturally wonder if the unthinkable has happened, and the relationship with your child(ren) is actually over. In this hopeful episode, therapist and host Tina Gilbertson argues that estrangement itself is a sign the relationship is still alive. Find out how to use this time to strengthen the relationship, even when it appears there's no movement. As long as you yourself are learning, growing, healing and evolving, your relationship with your adult child(ren) is potentially doing the same. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. https://reconnectionclub.com Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack - https://tinagilbertson.substack.com EPISODE LINKS: Family Systems Theory (Murray Bowen):  Bowentheoryacademy.org - https://bowentheoryacademy.org/bowen-theory/bowen-theory-history-and-concepts Vermont Center for Family Studies - https://vermontcenterforfamilystudies.org/about/bowen-family-systems-theory/ Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 217 How to Tolerate Anxiety During Estrangement From Your Adult Child https://reconnectionclub.com/217 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 25: Estrangement... A Phase of Development?  https://reconnectionclub.com/25 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 212: The Open Secret About Reconnection https://reconnectionclub.com/212  

In this thoughtful remake of Episode 3, RC Podcast host and therapist Tina Gilbertson walks listeners through some of the most common mistakes parents make when adult children become estranged. As a parent, sometimes you have to avoid words and actions that might come naturally if you want to successfully reconnect. Steering clear of anything that could make your adult child's estrangement worse is obviously important. This helpful episode will guide you away from common pitfalls, and toward more productive action. Be sure to check out the all links below after listening. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. (Find it on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe) Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. https://reconnectionclub.com Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack. https://tinagilbertson.substack.com EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep 120: Rules of Thumb Are Not Rules https://reconnectionclub.com/120 Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 144: What's Your Strategy https://reconnectionclub.com/144 Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 172: When to Respect a No-Contact Request https://reconnectionclub.com/172 Don't Be in a Hurry to Apologize to an Estranged Adult Child  https://reconnectionclub.com/dont-rush-apology What Does a No-Contact Request Sound Like? https://reconnectionclub.com/nocontact-request Why We Act Impulsively (And How Not To) https://reconnectionclub.com/threat-response Top 7 Mistakes downloadable handout https://reconnectionclub.com/top7 Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe The Reconnection Club Podcast https://reconnectionclub.com/podcast The Reconnection Club https://reconnectionclub.com

Estranged adult children might say to their parents, "You brought this on yourselves" – referring to parental behaviors that contributed to their need for space. But parents may say the same thing to adult children who choose estrangement, and then discover they're still unhappy: "You're bringing this on yourself (by keeping your distance)." Where do we go from here? It's a stalemate. But the question of who "brings estrangement on themselves" is far less relevant to reconciliation, than whether we can find compassion for everyone who contributes to their own suffering in any way. Because "everyone" is us. In this thoughtful, mind-changing episode, psychotherapist and host Tina Gilbertson urges listeners not to withhold compassion from themselves and others, even when problems appear to be self-inflicted. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.  Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack.  

Episode 1 Redux Most parents who are unwillingly estranged from their adult children worry about time passing while they're estranged. They know life is short. Grandchildren grow up fast. Time is not unlimited. This makes parents anxious to reconnect, which is understandable. But acting on anxiety too often leads to ineffective behaviors. In this revitalization of a classic episode, RC Podcast host Tina Gilbertson, LPC, offers thoughts on why Time can be a friend to parents in pain over estrangement. She names five different gifts that Time can bestow, and suggests how parents can make use of them while estranged. This soothing episode will help listeners treat the time they have as truly precious, encouraging them not to lose opportunities by helplessly longing for change. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child (Amazon link: https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe ) Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club at https://reconnectionclub.com/community/forum/general. Not a member yet? Learn more and join at https://reconnectionclub.com. Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack: https://tinagilbertson.substack.com. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 155: Good Grief - https://reconnectionclub.com/155  

In this fascinating 2-part episode (see link below for Part 1), host Tina Gilbertson explores the impact on siblings of adult child estrangement. If your estranged adult child has a brother, sister, or multiple siblings, you'll want to listen to this series carefully. You'll discover how to support the ones left behind; whether your other adult children will become estranged too; and what to do if an estranged adult child actively recruits their sibling(s) into estrangement. Whether your estranged adult child has siblings or not, you'll find evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship in Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join at https://reconnectionclub.com. Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack: https://tinagilbertson.substack.com   EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 219: Siblings and Estrangement, Part 1 - https://reconnectionclub.com/219 Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 149: From Enmeshment to Estrangement, Part 1 - https://reconnectionclub.com/149 Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 150: From Enmeshment to Estrangement, Part 2 - https://reconnectionclub.com/150 Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 60: Same House, Different Childhoods - https://reconnectionclub.com/60 General Discussion forum (login required)

In this fascinating 2-part episode (Part 2 comes out on March 23, 2026), host Tina Gilbertson explores the impact on siblings of adult child estrangement.  If your estranged adult child has a brother, sister, or multiple siblings, you'll want to listen to this series carefully. Find out how to support the ones left behind; whether your other adult children will become estranged too; and what to do if an estranged adult child actively recruits their sibling(s) into estrangement. Whether your estranged adult child has siblings or not, you'll find evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship in Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack EPISODE LINKS: RC Podcast Episode 198: Validation (Or Lack Thereof) Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 117: Heroes & Villains

From an interview with Anne Dickson, Ph.D. In this insightful episode, you'll learn about the critical interplay between assertiveness, boundaries, and emotions. Reconnection Club Podcast host Tina Gilbertson shares an excerpt from her interview with assertiveness expert and author Anne Dickson, who explains how early experiences shape our understanding of anger. Key insights about the emotional lessons learned during childhood are discussed, offering valuable perspectives for anyone grappling with boundaries, children and anger today. The thought-provoking ideas you'll hear may challenge your view of boundaries. They'll certainly prompt reflection on personal experiences, and encourage an ongoing commitment to healthy relationships – especially establishing limits. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack  EPISODE LINKS: RC Podcast Episode 174: "How to set boundaries without making them mad?" RC Podcast Episode 198: Validation (Or Lack Thereof) Full Interview with Anne Dickson (login required) A Woman In Your Own Right by Anne Dickson Anne Dickson - Official website

Did you know that intentionally tolerating anxiety can help you make clearer decisions, and even find moments of joy, during an unwanted estrangement from your adult child(ren)?  In this useful episode, Reconnection Club host Tina Gilbertson talks about the importance (and practicality) of tolerating anxiety when facing estrangement from adult children. Tina explains how anxiety comes from our own thoughts and feelings, not just from what happens to us. She shares five practical steps to help parents manage anxiety so it doesn't influence important decisions during estrangement. You'll hear why it's helpful to separate the urge to soothe anxiety from the desire to reconnect with your estranged adult child(ren). In a nutshell, contacting them out of anxiety can lead to regret. That's why Tina encourages parents to focus on calming their anxiety first, through both top-down and bottom-up techniques that help them relax. By managing anxiety, rejected parents can think more clearly and make better choices about how to respond -- rather than react -- to their adult children's estrangement. Finally, Tina reminds listeners that there will be times when they feel calm, and it's important to use those moments to learn, plan, and even enjoy life. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: https://directory.traumahealing.org https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory https://hakomiinstitute.com/about/what-is-hakomi Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 144: What's Your Strategy? [https://reconnectionclub.com/144] Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 97: The Road Map to Reconnection, Part 1 [https://reconnectionclub.com/97] Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them [ https://amzn.to/2Zbc0S2 ] Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 69: It's OK to Enjoy Yourself During Estrangement [https://reconnectionclub.com/69]

You haven't heard from your adult child lately, but they weren't doing well the last time you did hear from them. Or maybe you've heard they're okay, but you can't get an answer to a text. You wonder if they've blocked you. You're afraid of becoming more and more estranged. Whatever the circumstances surrounding your adult child's silence (or hostility), it might feel like a face-to-face meeting would be a good option. So you're tempted to show up on their doorstep and ask them to talk. In this important episode, host Tina Gilbertson offers her thoughts on the agonizing question, "Should I or shouldn't I?" She shares a recording of her response to this question from a past Q&A call, and reflects on whether her reply would be different today. Don't make travel plans until you listen. For evidence-based information and effective ways to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow The Reconnection Club on Instagram

In this thoughtful episode, host Tina Gilbertson gently encourages parents to embrace their own humanity while recognizing the shared struggles of their estranged adult children. She cautions against the polarizing views that often define parent-adult child estrangement, pitting parents and children against each other. By emphasizing the shared struggles and vulnerabilities within these groups, Tina invites listeners to reconsider unhelpful attitudes that lead to further pain and division. She suggests there's little to be gained in claiming moral high ground in these relationships. Instead of assigning blame, Tina emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the humanity in one another. This compassionate perspective encourages both parents and estranged adult children to recognize their common experiences of hurt, longing, and misunderstanding. Acknowledging these feelings can pave the way for healing and connection. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 204: Causes of Connection

For parents unwillingly estranged from your adult child or children during the holiday season, host Tina Gilbertson and members of the Reconnection Club community want you to know you're not alone. If estrangement is casting a shadow over the holidays for you this year, there's someone else who knows what it's like. This special holiday episode, originally aired on December 16th, 2024, came directly from the hearts and minds of unwillingly estranged parents. In their own words, with their own voices, they shared personal messages of compassion, solidarity, and commitment to a better tomorrow. Download and listen to this very special episode in your podcast player app before it expires on December 29, 2025. Episodes never expire from the Reconnection Club website. Find any episode on our site by typing the episode number after "Reconnectionclub.com" and then "/" like this: "Reconnectionclub.com/213" For more holiday-related resources from the Reconnection Club, check out these materials: RCP Episode 107: Staying Present In Their Absence Practice Slow Breathing BEFORE the Holidays Inviting Estranged Adult Children Home For the Holidays RCP Episode 69: It's OK to Enjoy Yourself During Estrangement Make a Detailed Plan to Get Through Special Days Getting Through Christmas For much more about how to deal with estrangement from your adult child(ren) throughout the year, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

In this insightful episode of the podcast, host Tina Gilbertson delves into the often-overlooked truth about reconnecting with estranged adult children: Emotional connection always starts with ourselves. For parents struggling with the pain of estrangement, Tina examines why emotional disconnect may be the norm in our society. She explains how many of us turn away from ourselves starting at an early age, and offers a step toward self-connection -- stressing that the journey to heal relationships involves not only reaching out, but turning within. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them

In this eye-opening (and ultimately uplifting) episode, psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson unpacks the often-overlooked reality of reconciliation between parents and their estranged adult children. While reconnecting might seem like a joyful resolution, it can leave many parents less than happy. They may still feel unfulfilled, and even heartbroken. Tina reveals how pain from the past -- e.g., unmet needs and emotional injuries -- can resurface during estrangement and reconciliation, making the experience of reconnecting far more complex than anticipated. This episode is essential for any parent navigating the rocky terrain of estrangement and reconciliation, offering insights that can spark healing and understanding in the journey ahead. Tune in for a compassionate exploration of these deep emotional currents. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 202: A Reconnection Story

Many parents of estranged adult children find themselves constantly staying busy and never pausing to rest. Others find it impossible to muster any motivation at all. Withdrawing, numbing out, struggling with perfectionism or people-pleasing… These may all be signs of nervous system dysregulation, and the simple need to know we're valuable and lovable. This episode features an audio excerpt from host Tina Gilbertson's interview with Australian author and mindfulness coach Kate James. Kate identifies four hidden ways that not feeling good enough can manifest in behavior. She ties particular patterns to the Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn responses of the nervous system. Listen to Kate lay it out and Tina summarize in this interesting and helpful episode. Listeners can find the link to Kate's original article below. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: https://insighttimer.com/katejames https://totalbalance.com.au/not-feeling-good-enough/ Tina's interview with Kate in the Reconnection Club 

When estranged adult children don't share their reasons for going no-contact, parents can be forgiven for making assumptions. Some assumptions can be helpful, and even somewhat soothing. But far more often during unwanted estrangement from adult children, assumptions made by parents make them feel powerless. Here are a few examples: My adult child's partner doesn't like me. My adult child is holding a grudge about something in the past. My adult child has a mental illness. My adult child didn't accept my written apology, and that's why they're still silent. Any of those could be true. But then again, they could also be false. Or irrelevant to the estrangement. In this thought-provoking episode, host Tina Gilbertson presents three separate statements from estranged parents, highlighting the assumptions they contain, and explaining why they're problematic. Next, she provides four simple questions we can ask when assumptions make us feel worse about ourselves or our situation. And lastly, she encourages listeners to focus on what they know, which is their own experience. For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 160: Emotional Reasoning

What if your estranged adult child sends you an angry letter (or email or text), listing all your flaws and failings as a parent? Should you respond right away? What should you say? What if they tell you not to contact them? In this essential and practical episode, RC Podcast host Tina Gilbertson urges parents to pause when they receive this type of communication from estranged adult children. Instead of rushing to reply to all the points in the letter, send a simple acknowledgement first. And after that, take the time you need to respond more fully. To acknowledge your child's message, Tina offers a three-sentence "script" using your own words. The 3 elements she proposes will both safeguard goodwill and buy you time to gather your thoughts. Don't respond to your adult child's angry letter before listening to this episode. For much more information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 177: How to Process a Letter From Your Estranged Adult Child (Part 1)  Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 178: How to Process a Letter From Your Estranged Adult Child (Part 2) 

When adult children go "no contact" with parents, in some cases it's because of an overdrawn emotional bank account between them. In this thought-provoking episode, host Tina Gilbertson explains the workings of your relationship bank account with your estranged adult child(ren) -- including examples of emotional deposits and withdrawals. Not every rejected parent has an overdrawn emotional account with their estranged adult child. But if the balance between you is in question at all, this episode will help you make a plan to set things right. For much more information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Follow us on Instagram. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 199. Validation: What, Why, How and When General Discussion Forum (Reconnection Club members only)

How do you heal an estranged relationship with your adult child when there's no contact? Through a recording from a past group Q&A call, host psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson shares her insights about the self-reflexive relationship between parents and adult children, and its potential for healing. Tina emphasizes that lingering emotional injuries in the parent -- who may not be aware of how those wounds continue to compromise them -- can play a significant role in why adult children choose to distance themselves. Recognizing this can be the first step toward healing. Tina encourages listeners to prioritize their own healing and personal growth. Because by working on themselves, parents can create a healthier emotional environment, even from a distance. Healing takes time. But change is possible, and with patience and dedication, estranged relationships can start to transform even before contact resumes. Join Tina as she delivers this challenging yet hopeful message, offering comfort and guidance to those in deep emotional pain. For much more on healing relationships between parents and adult children, including what goes wrong and how parents can respond effectively, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child: Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 194: Room For Improvement Want to support the podcast? Become a Reconnection Club member and get access to educational content and online events hosted by Tina, as well as our members-only forums. Monthly and annual memberships are available. Learn more.

In this important episode for parents with estranged adult children, therapist and host Tina Gilbertson discusses a common mistake that can keep the distance between them.  Many parents think estrangement is just a form of the “silent treatment” and a reaction to their parenting mistakes. They struggle to understand why all the good things they did -- such as providing support, resources or time --  don't outweigh the issues their child is upset about. This confusion can make parents feel rejected, abandoned, and unfairly treated. By learning the key differences between estrangement and "the silent treatment,” parents can start to understand what their adult children might be trying to communicate through their silence. For information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE RESOURCES: 8 Differences Between Estrangement and “The Silent Treatment” Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 157: Is It Proportional?

In this insightful episode, psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson tackles the sensitive issue of how parents can manage differences in values with their adult children -- especially when those differences lead to estrangement. Whether it's political disagreements, religious conflicts, or cultural clashes, Tina explores how it's not always the values themselves that cause tension, but the way those differences are handled. Tina draws on years of experience working with values differences, to provide actionable strategies for parents to overcome value conflicts, reduce emotional friction, and begin the journey of reconciliation. Through empathy, improved communication, and mutual respect, parents can create space for healing and rebuild relationships that may seem beyond repair. Key Takeaways: Why handling value differences with adult children can either create distance or bring you closer together The role of empathy and effective communication in reducing conflict and fostering reconnection How to navigate difficult topics like politics, religion, and lifestyle differences without furthering estrangement  Practical advice for parents on healing family relationships, even when values don't align For information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 198: Validation (Or Lack Thereof) Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 199. Validation: What, Why, How and When Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 200. Validation and You, The Estranged Parent Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 201. Validation FAQs Toastmasters International Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 190: You Can Do Hard Things

In this final episode of a series on validation (see links below), Reconnection Club Podcast host Tina Gilbertson brings clarity and compassion to one of the most emotionally charged applications of this skill: validating estranged adult children. Earlier episodes explored what a lack of validation looks like, offered a two-step validation technique (be sure to review Ep. 199 before listening to this one), and suggested reasons to practice validating yourself before trying it with others. This episode features tips for applying validation in the sensitive context of a trouble relationship. To round out this episode and the validation series, you'll hear thoughtful answers to three frequently asked questions, including whether it's okay to bring out negative feelings while validating, and how to regularly express empathy with small children without making them self-centered. Offering both helpful guidance and hope, this series of episodes (198-201) will be treasured by anyone wanting to connect or reconnect with their adult child(ren) in a way that feels authentic, respectful, and emotionally intelligent. For much more on relationships between parents and adult children, including what goes wrong and how parents can respond effectively, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: Part 1. Validation (Or Lack Thereof) (Ep 198) Part 2. Validation: What, Why, How and When (Ep 199) Part 3. Validation and You, The Estranged Parent (Ep 200) Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 193: The Truth of the Matter Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 37: Reconciliation -- The 4 Stages of Competence Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them About Social Learning Theory RC Validation Resources page (members only) Want to support the podcast? Become a Reconnection Club member and get access to educational content and online events hosted by Tina, as well as our members-only forums. Monthly and annual memberships are available. Learn more. FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM

In this thought-provoking third episode of a 4-part series on validation, Tina Gilbertson takes listeners deeper into the heart of the topic. She makes a compelling case for why self-validation isn't just helpful, it's essential. Without it, our attempts to validate others, especially estranged adult children, can fall flat or even backfire. Tina shares a powerful (and somewhat unsettling) example that highlights just how tricky it can be to validate someone's emotions when you're the one they're upset with. What do you do when you don't agree with their version of you? How do you stay grounded in your own truth while still offering genuine empathy? You'll come away from this episode with a clearer, more nuanced understanding of validation, and why it often starts with giving yourself what you may never have received from others. For much more on relationships between parents and adult children, including what goes wrong and how parents can respond effectively, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: Part 1. Validation (Or Lack Thereof) (Ep 198) Part 2. Validation: What, Why, How and When (Ep 199)

In this invaluable second episode of a 4-part series, host Tina Gilbertson wades into the nuts and bolts of validation -- a concept that can shift the dynamics of strained or distant relationships in positive directions. With her usual warmth and clarity, Tina walks you through how to acknowledge someone's feelings without judgment or correction. ... And without losing yourself in the process. If you've ever wondered how to respond when your adult child expresses anger, pulls away, or shares something you deeply disagree with, this episode offers a fresh and practical perspective. Tina boils down validation to the basics: What it is, why it matters more than most people realize, how you can start practicing today, and when to apply this skill in your life and relationships. You'll learn a simple, two-step technique anyone can use to validate authentically. You'll hear specific language to help you navigate emotional conversations with more confidence and calm. This is an episode that may leave you thinking differently about the next conversation you have, and how you want to show up for it. For much more on relationships between parents and adult children, including what goes wrong and how parents can respond effectively, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 163: Personal Growth vs. Parenting?

Reconnection Club Members can use the player on our Podcast Player page to play episodes continuously. Follow us on Instagram.    *   *   * Many estranged adult children report feeling invalidated in their interactions with their parents. These feelings -- of being dismissed, misunderstood, or emotionally unseen -- often contribute to ongoing disconnection. But what exactly does invalidation sound like in everyday conversation? And how can parents begin to recognize these pitfalls, to make sure they're being as supportive as they want to be? In this compassionate and informative episode, host Tina Gilbertson begins a vital exploration of validation -- what it means, why it matters, and how it often plays a pivotal role in the dynamics between parents and adult children. The first of a four-part series, this episode focuses on three common types of invalidating responses. Tina breaks down each type with clarity and care, offering real-life examples to help listeners recognize them in context. Future episodes in this series will explore validation in greater depth, offering tools and insights to support parents on their journey through estrangement with empathy and clarity. For much more on relationships between parents and adult children, including what goes wrong and how parents can respond effectively, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: How to Validate Someone Validation and Estrangement Words of Validation for Parents of No-Contact Adult Children Validation Workshop (Reconnection Club member login required)

This important episode features excerpts from a previously recorded conversation between host Tina Gilbertson and trauma expert Harold “Pat” Patrick, regarding trauma from adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Their discussion uncovers how unresolved trauma from even the distant past can subtly shape the emotional lives of parents today -- especially those facing rejection from their adult children. Even after years of therapy, deep-seated emotional wounds can persist, influencing parents' reactions. In two separate excerpts, Pat offers valuable insights on how to recognize the hidden remnants of trauma, and explores the powerful idea that it's never too late to begin healing, and to find happiness within. Whether you're a parent struggling with wrenching emotional pain from estrangement, or simply seeking to understand the current situation better, this episode provides hope and practical advice for moving forward and reclaiming your emotional well-being. For more on how to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE RESOURCES: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 194: Room for Improvement The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Questionnaire The full interview with Pat Patrick (RC members must be logged in to access)

When adult children become estranged from their parents, the ripple effects can often spread to other family members—siblings, grandparents, and even close friends. These "innocent bystanders" can become collateral damage in the fallout of a family rift. In this clarifying episode, host Tina Gilbertson explores four common reasons why estranged adult children might distance themselves from others in the family, and even beyond. Understanding these motivations can offer a clearer picture of the situation and may help ease parents' fears about the extent of the rift. You'll learn that collateral damage doesn't always mean your adult child's estrangement is extreme or escalating; it may simply be a reflection of complex dynamics at play. If you're a parent struggling to understand why your child's estrangement from you is affecting their other relationships, this episode offers insight into the reasons behind it. You'll gain a clearer understanding of the emotional complexities underlying estrangement, and why “innocent bystanders” sometimes become part of the (hopefully temporary) fallout. For information and tips on how to make repairs and begin to heal from parent-adult child estrangement, read Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Or get on the Reconnection Club mailing list. EPISODE RESOURCES: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 31: Why Don't Other Relatives Help?

Parents have various ways to cope with the pain of prolonged estrangement from their adult children. One of them is to find a way to let their children go, with love, in their hearts. Letting an adult child go can bring a measure of relief to those who are able to do it. They may feel more peaceful and less sad. It's relatively easy to let go of someone in silence. But what happens if they suddenly contact you? Reconnection Club Podcast host Tina Gilbertson speaks to parents having just that experience. They're caught in a dilemma between silence and peace on the one hand, and undependable contact on the other. In this illuminating episode, Tina suggests leaning in to this dilemma as a first step to finding your way past it. For more on relationships between parents and adult children, including what goes wrong and how parents can respond effectively, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: RC Podcast Episode 144: What's Your Strategy? “If Your Child Contacts You After Asking for No Contact” (log in for access)

The journey through unwanted estrangement from adult children can remain challenging even after extensive personal work and therapy, as hidden barriers continue to surface. In this pivotal episode, Reconnection Club Podcast host Tina Gilbertson explores how parents who have built fulfilling lives and invested in their own growth may still have blind spots that hinder their healing journey. Key Insights: Even with extensive therapy and personal development, we may have unrecognized areas that need attention The assumption that we've "done enough work" can itself become a barrier to deeper healing Parents who have created successful lives despite estrangement may overlook remaining opportunities for emotional growth Looking inward, rather than focusing on reconciliation or the adult child's actions, can reveal unexpected areas for personal development Tina offers a gentle challenge to parents to consider that there may be more internal work to discover, even when it seems like all possible growth has been achieved. For more on how to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Get on Tina's mailing list. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

When adult children cut contact with their parents, they often cite experiences and memories that their parents remember completely differently. But what happens when two people recall the same events in contradicting ways? In this illuminating episode, Reconnection Club host Tina Gilbertson tackles the complex nature of truth in family relationships. Through an engaging example of a backyard barbecue, she demonstrates how seemingly opposing versions of events can both hold validity – and why trying to prove your adult child "wrong" about their memories may be counterproductive. Tina explains that emotional truth in relationships operates differently from objective facts, offering insights for parents struggling to reconcile their memories with their adult child's perspective.  This episode provides essential understanding for parents who want to build bridges rather than debate whose version of events is "correct." Members can discuss this episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.  Check out Tina's book, Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 117: Heroes and Villains

When your adult child goes “no contact,” it can feel like you're suddenly in a state of emergency. How did this happen? What is a parent supposed to do? How do you fix this painful problem if your child won't talk to you? When dealing with a crisis, the last thing you might be concerned about is balance. But balancing activity with sufficient rest is critical for anyone trying to solve an important problem. We're simply not at our best when we're out of balance. We don't have our full capabilities, and we suffer from exhaustion and despair. Whether you feel like you've gone into overdrive, or the opposite – that you've been mired in passivity or paralysis – host Tina Gilbertson has something for you in this simple but profound episode. For information and tips on how to make repairs and begin to heal from parent-adult child estrangement, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. Or get on the RC mailing list. EPISODE LINKS: Start the New Year With … Rest?  How to Do the Bare Minimum Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them

Having a no-contact adult child can be not only painful, but genuinely confusing. They might agree to receive texts from you, but not reply to any texts you send. Maybe they tell you they love you, even as they continue to create distance. When you stop contacting them at their request, why do they then claim you don't care about them? What's going on? What do they want? How can you figure that out if they won't talk to you? In this reassuring episode, Tina Gilbertson suggests that maybe you don't have to. Generally speaking, mixed messages are not a sign that your adult child is mentally ill or worse, messing with you. Instead, they can be an unconscious expression of ambivalence or a reflection of normal developmental changes in young or recently launched adults. For much more on relationships between parents and adult children, including what goes wrong and how to respond effectively, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 171: Understanding Ambivalence

When your adult child goes no contact, you search for solutions. You hunt for ideas, inspiration, support and above all, answers. And the whole time, you feel awful. Estrangement, in other words, is hard. It's natural to gravitate towards quick and relatively easy solutions: Writing an apology letter. Sending gifts. Showing up unannounced. Sending one text after another, despite receiving no reply. For parents, the real work of healing estrangement often has nothing to do with contact. It's long, slow, difficult and solitary work. But parents who take the harder path can earn greater rewards, sooner, as host Tina Gilbertson explains in this essential episode. For more on how to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

This is Part 2 of a 2-part episode that began with Episode 188 (not 187 as stated in this episode). Click here for Part 1. More often than not, when no-contact adult children end their estrangements and return to the relationship, there's an elephant in the room -- at least from the parent's point of view. Parents feel like they're walking on eggshells, trying to avoid whatever it was that created the problem in the first place. If only their adult children would tell them what went wrong, so they could keep it from happening again! But that elephant-in-the-room feeling may not be shared by the adult child, who wants the relationship to work as much as the parent does. They might not want to talk about the elephant. And that leaves parents feeling unsettled, to say the least. This episode is for you if you're feeling nervous and unsure around your recently reconciled, or semi-estranged, adult child. For more about how to make repairs and begin to heal from parent-adult child estrangement, read show host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE RESOURCES: Seeking Safety in Estrangement (scroll to bottom of that page for more emotional safety resources) The Center for Nonviolent Communication Validation and Estrangement How to Validate Someone

More often than not, when no-contact adult children end their estrangements and return to the relationship, there's an elephant in the room -- at least from the parent's point of view. Parents feel like they're walking on eggshells, trying to avoid whatever it was that created the problem in the first place. If only their adult children would tell them what went wrong, so they could keep it from happening again! But that elephant-in-the-room feeling may not be shared by the adult child, who wants the relationship to work as much as the parent does. They might not want to talk about the elephant. And that leaves parents feeling unsettled, to say the least. This episode is for you if you're feeling nervous and unsure around your recently reconciled, or semi-estranged, adult child. For more about how to make repairs and begin to heal from parent-adult child estrangement, read show host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE RESOURCES: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 125: The GOOD Parent's Biggest Blind Spot, Part 1 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 126: The GOOD Parent's Biggest Blind Spot, Part 2 Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 54: Why Do They Cut Off Contact Instead of Talking About It? Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 118: Does Your Adult Child Lack Communication Skills?

Hear the voices of parent who are facing the holidays without their estranged adult children this year... If you're unwillingly estranged from your adult child or children during the holiday season, host Tina Gilbertson and members of the Reconnection Club community want you to know you're not alone. Listen to this very special episode in your podcast player app before it expires on December 30th, 2024. Episodes never expire from the Reconnection Club website. Find any episode on our site by typing the episode number after a “/” like this: “Reconnectionclub.com/187” For more holiday-related resources from the Reconnection Club, check out these materials: RCP Episode 107: Staying Present In Their Absence Practice Slow Breathing BEFORE the Holidays Inviting Estranged Adult Children Home For the Holidays RCP Episode 69: It's OK to Enjoy Yourself During Estrangement Make a Detailed Plan to Get Through Special Days Getting Through Christmas For much more about how to deal with estrangement from your adult child(ren) throughout the year, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

Following on from episodes 160 and 162 (see episode links below), host Tina Gilbertson addresses another one of those cognitive distortions (or common thinking errors) that create extra suffering in an experience that's already painful: Estrangement from your adult child(ren). In this episode, Tina runs through a total of six examples (keep listening after she reviews the first three!) of black and white thinking embraced by parents of no-contact adult children. How many feel familiar to you? Listeners will find relief in the idea that estrangement isn't necessarily all or nothing, that there are many possibilities -- even when that doesn't seem possible. For more information on why adult children become estranged (or "go no-contact") and what parents can do about it, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE LINKS: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 160: Emotional Reasoning Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 162: Overgeneralizing and Catastrophizing Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 117: Heroes and Villains Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 176: Regarding Apologies Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 154: Nothing Happens in a Vacuum

Some estranged adult children go no contact because they say their parents are too critical. Has your adult child made this complaint? Are you frustrated because you just don't see what they're seeing? Does it seem like your adult child is too sensitive, and you're walking on eggshells because you never know what's going to make them feel criticized? Or do you recognize what they're talking about, but can't seem to change the dynamic? This episode is for anybody accused of being critical towards adult children, spouses or others. In an interesting thesis, Tina Gilbertson suggests what might be going on that's coming across as criticism, and what you can do about it. Changing relationship dynamics takes time. But if you know where to begin, you can get started today even if your adult child isn't currently in contact. For information on why adult children become estranged (or "go no-contact") and what parents can do about it, read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

Getting along with in-laws is an age-old tradition, but also a challenge for many. When your adult child appears to be estranged because their partner doesn't like you, it can feel like a hurtful and impossible situation. The partner may seem like a cruel and powerful gatekeeper, standing between you and your child and grandchild(ren). Resentment soon follows. And things go downhill from there. Although this may not be an easy problem to solve, you'll want to make sure you've truly done everything you can to make repairs from your end. This episode is for every unwillingly estranged parent who's tried in vain to win over an adult child's partner. You'll learn five separate (and possibly overlapping) reasons why the partner doesn't seem to like you and, more importantly, what you can do about it. For more information on why adult children become estranged (or “go no-contact”) and what parents can do about it, read Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child by Tina Gilbertson. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join. EPISODE RESOURCES: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 131: Preparing for Family Therapy

Reconciliation between parents and no-contact adult children can be thought of as a phase of estrangement. That means that for many parents, reconciliation will be disappointing – at least for a while.  Things aren't back to normal. Conversation doesn't flow. You might still feel estranged, even though there's contact. What's going on? In this episode, Tina normalizes some of the disappointing and frustrating aspects of reconciliation. She explains that it's nobody's fault, and that it may require continued personal and interpersonal development.  If your adult child's behavior seems unpredictable even though they're supposed to be reconciled, it doesn't mean the process has stalled. It may simply mean that it's getting under way. EPISODE RESOURCES: Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 164: Emotional Safety Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 171: Understanding Ambivalence Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 144: What's Your Strategy? Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 97: Road Map to Reconnection (Part 1) For more information on why adult children become estranged (or "go no-contact") and what parents can do about it, read Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

Are you struggling with the pain and complexity of parent-adult-child alienation? In this eye-opening conversation with psychotherapist, author, and ReConnection Club founder Tina Gilbertson, we uncover the root causes and contributing factors to this challenging family dynamic, and explore strategies for healing and reconnection.Throughout our discussion, we examine how values, loyalties, financial problems, sibling issues, and infertility can contribute to estrangement. Tina enlightens us on the role our individualistic culture plays in this issue and shares her insights on reconnecting with adult children through personal healing, growth, and addressing any underlying issues before seeking family therapy.We also dive into navigating communication with estranged children, and the heartache that comes with feeling disconnected. Learn how to avoid making a difficult situation worse and the importance of understanding and healing family estrangement. Don't miss this valuable opportunity to gain guidance and support from Tina's expertise and compassionate approach as you work towards resolution and reconnection.Please support us with a monthly PATREON subscription and get a quarterly live  Q&A with Ellen and Tish.Obsessions Tish:  Glass meal prep containers!  Meal prep is how Tish is teaching her youngest son Liam to cook!Ellen: custom M&Ms.  She did these for the class of 2023 in school colors but you can do NBA, weddings, birthdays, Father's Day, and showers! What we talk about in this episode: estrangement, divorce, shame,  the ReConnection podcast, therapy, family therapy, personal work, growth, boundaries, healing, parental alienation, open heart,  emotional toolbox, and Tina's two books: Constructive Wallowing and Reconnecting With Your Adult Estranged Child. Give us a review... Click hereWant to start podcasting?  Click here to let Buzzsprout know we sent you, this gets you a $20 Amazon gift card if you sign up for a paid plan, and help support our show Support the show

In part 1 of this discussion, we talked about the common reasons why estrangement happens with an adult child and four things you can do starting today to put yourself on the path of reconnection. In part 2, Tina offers five specific things not to do if you have an estranged child, some real stories of reconciled relationships, and an unexpected takeaway that applies to all of us, whether you currently have an estranged adult child, or not.Tina Gilbert is a Psychotherapist, Author, Estrangement Consultant, and author of Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child: Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship. She cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship and offers techniques and tools to parents who have felt powerless. She believes reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.In this episode, we talk about:What not to do when attempting to repair an estranged relationshipSuccessful reconnections between parents and estranged childrenThe importance of self-compassion when it feels that life isn't fairHere's a glance:[2:41] Tina shares a few strategies many parents try but are not effective in repairing an estranged relationship.[9:45] Stories of successful reconnections between adult children and parents.[17:46] Why allowing time to pass could be what is needed to heal a relationship when nothing else is working.[25:07] Keys to finding self-compassion when it feels that life isn't fair.[30:22] Tina explains why Self-compassion Cinnamon Cookie is the nail color she would choose to heal relationships.[34:12] In the Flip the Chip segment, Mary highlights Tina's five things not to do if you are currently estranged from your adult child.Shareables:“Continually reaching out, in some cases, will actually do more harm than good. In other cases, it won't make a difference.” — Tina Gilbertson on @livelikeyournailcolor“I hear regularly from parents who have managed to reconnect with their kids. There's a certain point at which the parent takes ownership of the problem and says "I am going to figure this out”. You have to overcome shame to do it.” — Tina Gilbertson on @livelikeyournailcolor“Most estrangements are temporary.” — Tina Gilbertson on @livelikeyournailcolorDiscover more about Tina: TinaGilbertson.comReconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child: Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your RelationshipReconnection Club PodcastReconnection ClubFor more inspiration and fun: Take the quiz and discover your nail color persona: mynailcolorpersona.comRate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts —“Mary and the Live Like Your Nail Color podcast is inspiring and fun!”

Parents whose adult children have cut them off often wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of a grandchild may all pass - in silence. But there is hope. Today's gal pal is Tina Gilbertson. Tina is a Psychotherapist, Author, Estrangement Consultant, and author of Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child: Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your Relationship. She cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship and offers techniques and tools to parents who have felt powerless. She believes reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is well worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.In this episode, we talk about:The importance of self-compassionHow to not feel powerless when there is estrangement in the familyHow early wounding affects our closest relationshipsEncouraging emotional resilience within ourselvesHere's a glance:[5:47] Tina is a Naked Nelly who simply doesn't concern herself with any more personal grooming than necessary.[8:02] What issues fuel parent-adult child estrangement?[16:50] What parents can do to reconcile a relationship with an estranged adult child.[24:45] Four key points to help parents not to feel powerless.[32:58] How early wounding affects relationships and the benefits of speaking with a qualified counselor.[42:04] Finding emotional resilience within yourself.[43:44] In the Flip the Chip segment, Mary highlights the four things parents can start doing today if they have an estranged child.Shareables:“The first thing [parents] want to try to do is to take some time to understand the reasons, from the child's point of view, why they're seeking distance.” — Tina Gilbertson on @livelikeyournailcolor“If we haven't maybe received enough compassion and empathy in our lives, we don't know what it looks like or what it feels like to experience that.” — Tina Gilbertson on @livelikeyournailcolor“Resilience is the ability to come back into equilibrium emotionally.” — Tina Gilbertson on @livelikeyournailcolorDiscover more about Tina: TinaGilbertson.comReconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child: Practical Tips and Tools to Heal Your RelationshipReconnection Club PodcastReconnection ClubInstagram Facebook here and hereFor more inspiration and fun:Take the quiz and discover your nail color persona: mynailcolorpersona.comRate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts —“Mary and the Live Like Your Nail Color podcast is inspiring and fun!”

In this episode, Kreed discusses the difference in a relationship with your adult child vs a peer and why this is so important to recognize. And understand. Tina Gilbertson, psychotherapist - The Reconnection Club podcast https://www.youtube.com/c/ReconnectionClub http://www.TheEstrangedHeart.com Facebook support group facilitated by Kreed: https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup If you wish to become a financial supporter of the podcast and Kreed's work with estranged parents & adult children: https://anchor.fm/theestrangedheart/support https://www.patreon.com/theestrangedheart Venmo: @revkreed https://www.buymeacoffee.com/kreedrevere --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theestrangedheart/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/theestrangedheart/support

In this episode Kreed asks and explores the question: Is the parent/child relationship a contract or gift or something else? Quote: "All relationships, except those that are familial, are by choice. Even the relationship from the perspective of a parent to a child is by choice yet not the other way around. Is it any wonder those relationships we have with family are so fraught with resistance and discord?" - Kreed Revere http://www.TheEstrangedHeart.com https://www.facebook.com/groups/estrangedmotherssupportgroup https://anchor.fm/theestrangedheart/support https://www.patreon.com/theestrangedheart https://www.ling.upenn.edu/courses/Fall_2003/ling001/language_change.html#:~:text=Types%20of%20Language%20Change,and%20morphology%20develops%20or%20decays. Reconnection Club podcast episode (Tina Gilbertson, LPC (estrangement expert) #116 - https://youtu.be/nsV-VNKDEHA --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theestrangedheart/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/theestrangedheart/support

What do you do when your adult child ghosts you?  In this episode, Gretta is  joined by Tina Gilbertson, who is a psychotherapist, author, and co-founder of the Reconnection Club. Tina's work is centered around educating and supporting parents who want to reconnect with their estranged adult children. If your child has ghosted you, this is a must-listen. Learn More about Tina Gilbertson:Tina's Website The Reconnection ClubThe Reconnection Club Podcast, a show dedicated to helping parents understand and address common issues in estrangement.  Connect with Gretta:Private Coaching with GrettaFree Guide: What to Say To Your GhostFree Coping With Ghosting GuideInstagramFree Facebook Support Grouphttps://www.copingwithghosting.com/If you have a question about being ghosted that you want answered in an upcoming joint episode with The Ghost Podcast, please email Gretta at copingwithghosting@gmail.com. Music: "Ghosted" by Gustavo RamosDisclaimer:  This information is designed to mentor and guide you to cope with Ghosting by cultivating a positive mindset and implementing self-care practices. It is for educational purposes only; it solely provides self-help tools for your use. Coping With Ghosting is not providing health care or psychological therapy services and is not diagnosing or treating any physical or mental ailment of the mind or body. The content is not a substitute for therapy or any advice given by a licensed psychologist or other licensed or other registered professionals.