Women In-Depth: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women

“The areas that we struggle with the most, where we feel maybe we're the hardest on ourselves, or the most stuck… these are actually potentials for really building a strong foundation with your recovery.” [20:47]   In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes speaks with Mari Grande about the Mother Wound and the impact of trauma on Daughters of Critical Mothers. By addressing this trauma clients can break the cycle and turn inward to heal and be soothed.   Mari speaks about the trauma that Daughters of Critical Mothers experience and the ways in which clients and therapists can recognize and begin to address the trauma of the Mother Wound. Listen as Lourdes and Mari discuss the various ways that this trauma can impact women; and how Mari and other therapists work to help their clients to heal.   In this episode you will learn: Mari's inspiration for working with Daughters of Critical Mothers and the Mother Wound [4:30] What makes clients who are Daughters of Critical Mothers unique from other clients with trauma [8:40] Indicators that a woman has had a disruptive relationship with her mother [14:10] Considerations for therapists who work with Daughters of Critical Mothers [21:35] Mari's words of wisdom for Daughters of Critical Mothers [29:01] The numerous resources Mari offers [30:00]   Mari Grande is a New York-based Creative Arts Therapist, Clinical Social Worker, Thought Leader, Educator, and Coach. With over 20 years of experience, Mari works with clients to creatively heal their trauma, with particular attention to the Mother Wound. She uses a multi-modal approach incorporating art therapy, guided meditation, and somatic therapy in her practice. Mari has developed many resources, such as courses and modules, to help both men and women to heal from trauma.   Resources:   Mari's therapy website: https://marigrande.com/; Mari is licensed in New York, New Jersey, Florida, and California.   Mari's website for courses, programs, modules, and many more resources: https://www.creativehealingintegration.com/   And coming soon, a support group for clinicians who work with Daughters of Critical Mothers.  Click here to learn more!   Related Women In-Depth Episodes:   Episode 21:  Healing the Mother Wound with Bethany Webster   Episode 128:  Healing the Mother Wound:  A Foundation for a Better World

“[Dissociation] can happen with anything that is overwhelming or intense and I think it is important, especially to those who are highly sensitive, to be aware of because it's not just perceived danger or a lot of anxiety or stress. It can be something very positive that you actually want.” [9:20]    In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes Viado and Carmen Schmidt Benedetti continue their podcast series on Complex Trauma and Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs). Today's episode explores the coping mechanism of dissociation, diving into what it is, what causes it, and potentially how to avoid and combat dissociation.     Dissociation is a common coping mechanism for many people, but can be harmful for people who are HSPs and have experienced complex trauma in their lives. Listen as Lourdes and Carmen shed light on the signs of dissociation and possible tools to help keep you present.    In this episode you will learn:  What is dissociation? [3:33]  Why do we experience dissociation? [4:30]  Biological responses that cause dissociation. [9:50]  The continuum of dissociation. [11:35]  How to distinguish between dissociation and anxiety, stress, or overwhelm. [17:15]  Ways to cope with and respond to dissociation. [28:22]    Dr. Lourdes Viado is a psychotherapist for anxious and overwhelmed highly sensitive women in Las Vegas, Nevada.  She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practitioner and integrates Jungian psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, and astrology into her work with clients.  She is also the host of the Women In-Depth Podcast: Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 450,000x in 107 countries.    Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a psychotherapist for highly sensitive womxn in Sonoma County, California. She helps them to heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create calm, balance and stability in their life. As a Certified EMDR therapist, Carmen guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, coming to believe they are ‘good enough' and their needs and feelings matter    Resources:    Lourdes' website: https://lourdesviado.com/    Carmen's website: https://carmenschmidtmft.com/     Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving 

“The body never lies and that is the truth.”     In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes Viado speaks with Tara Galeano about the journey of women rediscovering and reconnecting with their bodies. By building a more solid relationship with themselves, women are able to improve the quality of their relationship with others.     Tara focuses not only on sex, but the universal reconnection of women to their bodies, who have so often experienced a disconnection in many ways. Listen as Lourdes and Tara discuss how true intimacy with oneself and, to a degree, selfishness allows women to have more agency over themselves and their bodies.    In this episode you will learn:  Tara's inspiration for her book [4:42]  What is “true intimacy” [14]  The initial steps in the journey of discovering your body [24]  How trauma is addressed in rediscovering and reconnecting to the body [27:40]  Tara's words of wisdom [33:05]    Tara Galeano is a sex therapist, sexual empowerment coach, and author of Rediscovering My Body. Tara has been working for over 20 years helping women get their sexy back. From her own experiences and years of professional knowledge, Tara aids women in reconnecting with their bodies and selves as well as reclaiming their own sexuality.    Resources:    Tara's book Rediscovering My Body is available wherever books are sold.     Tara's website: rediscoveringmybody.com     9 Week Masterclass, June 15th-August 17th, 2021: For women who want to reconnect to themselves sexually, intimately, and completely but want to space it out over a few weeks. https://rediscoveringmybody.mykajabi.com/rediscovering-my-body-a-9-week-virtual-masterclass    3 Day Virtual Retreat on June 18-20, 2021 A journey to reconnect with yourself and your partner intimately and completely. https://rediscoveringmybody.mykajabi.com/rediscovering-my-body-3%20Day-Virtual-Couples-Solstice-Retreat  

“A large part of the work of The Mind-Body Stress Reset is coming to understand how important those sensations that run through your body are - coming to value them. I think we are a culture that overvalues our thinking-self and undervalues our feeling-self.” [51:10]     In this episode, Dr. Lourdes Viado speaks with Rebekkah LaDyne about mind-body somatic approaches. Rebekkah discusses how and why exercising and teaching your body ways to respond to anxiety, stress, and trauma are effective tools for your mind-body well-being.      Listen as Rebekkah emphasizes the importance of the feeling-self and the body as tools for self-regulation for individuals who are not benefiting from practices solely focusing on the thinking-self and the mind.     In this episode you will learn:  Rebekkah LaDyne’s personal and professional inspiration for her book. [3:04]  How the amygdala, mid frontal cortex, and prefrontal cortex function in times of extreme stress, anxiety, and trauma. [11:30]  What a somatic approach is. [22:47]  Different approaches to self-regulation using both mind and body approaches. [27:40]  How to recognize when certain approaches to stress and trauma are unhelpful. [39:20]  What the window of tolerance is and how it can inform which type of therapeutic approach is best suited for you. [46:42]      Rebekkah LaDyne, MS, SEP, is a practicing Somatic Therapist and Researcher and author of The Mind-Body Stress Reset: Somatic Practices to Reduce Overwhelm and Increase Well-Being. Focusing on trauma and dysregulation, Rebecca’s work has centered on wellness of the mind-body in the face of anxiety, stress, as well as overwhelm and development trauma. She earned her Master’s degree from Saybrook University in Mind-Body Medicine and practices mind-body well-being and wellness with the integration of somatic approaches.     Resources:  Rebekkah’s website: www.rebekkahladyne.com or http://www.thismindfullife.info/    The Mind-Body Stress Reset: Somatic Practices to Reduce Overwhelm and Increase Well-Being by Rebekkah LaDyne is available anywhere books are sold. 

This episode of Women In-Depth features Dr. Tracy Packiam Alloway, an award-winning psychologist who has conducted extensive research on memory and the brain. In this conversation Dr. Alloway discusses her recent book “Think Like a Girl:  10 Unique Strengths of a Woman’s Brain and How to Make Them Work for You.”     Dr. Alloway has authored 15 books and over 100 scientific articles and has been featured on BBC, Good Morning America, the Today Show, Forbes, Bloomberg, The Washington Post, Newsweek, and many others. She’s also a consultant for documentaries, ABC/NBC and the CW affiliates,  AMC TV, and the World Bank.   Topics discussed in this episode:  Some myths about women’s brains (4:26) How women make decisions under stress (7:07) How sticking your hand in a bucket of ice can help you make a less emotional decision (8:38) The surprising research about the lies women tell (11:10) How the women’s way of thinking is a creative superpower (15:18)   Resources: Tracy’s website: https://www.tracyalloway.com/  Tracy’s book “Think Like a Girl”: https://www.zondervan.com/p/think-like-a-girl/#purchasenow

This episode of Women In-Depth features Arianna Smith, EMDR Clinician and Licensed Professional Counselor. She helps Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) and LGBTQ individuals process childhood trauma, recover from abusive relationships, and release the cycle of constant people pleasing.  Based out of Denver, Colorado, Arianna is a psychotherapist by day and copywriter by night and she supports fellow healers to craft the right words that showcase their passion, personality and expertise so they can have a practice filled with dream clients.     Topics discussed in this episode:   Differentiating between an abusive and toxic relationship (5:13)  Common experiences for those in abusive or toxic relationships (16:08)  How prior trauma can make someone more vulnerable to an abusive or toxic relationship (25:54)  “Trauma glasses” and their impact on those who have gotten out of a abusive or toxic relationship (27:38)  The importance of compassion and healing for those who grew up with abuse or trauma (29:35)  The intersection between HSPs and abusive or toxic relationships (32:47)  DOES:: Depth of processing, Overstimulation or Overwhelm, Emotional reactivity or Empathy, Sensing of Subtleties (34:04)  The hope and recovery on the other side of an abusive or toxic relationship (44:14)   The importance of safety, support, and education for those in abusive or toxic relationships (46:30)      Resources:  Arianna’s website: https://quietmooncounseling.com/   National Hotline for Domestic Violence   telephone: 1.800.799.7233  website:  https://www.thehotline.org/   The Relationship Bill of Rights: https://www.morethantwo.com/relationshipbillofrights.html  

This episode of Women In-Depth features Dr. Pearl Gregor. Pearl began studying dreams in 1988. By 2015, widowed, retired, and having finished her doctorate, she created her website: www.dreamsalongtheway.com. In December 2018, she published “I, the Woman, Planted the Tree: A Journey through Dreams to the Feminine,” followed by two more books and a memoir.   Topics discussed in this episode:  What is the search for the divine feminine? (3:15) The Myth of Inanna  (5:09) How Pearl’s journey in and out of depression brought her to dreamwork (12:34) How working with myth & archetype helps anchor you (14:38) The work of relearning to hear our inner voice (17:34) How the word “feminine” has been distorted (19:52) Jung’s process for individuation (28:23) Benefits of dreamwork for those in therapy (30:08) Nightmares are an unexamined letter from the self (40:05)   Resources: Pearl’s website: https://dreamsalongtheway.com/author/pearl/  Pearl’s books: https://dreamsalongtheway.com/books/  Carol Crist’s website: https://www.goddessariadne.org/  Daniel Kalsched’s website: https://www.donaldkalsched.com/

This episode of Women In-Depth features Bronwyn Shiffer, LCSW, a psychotherapist from Madison, Wisconsin who works with highly sensitive women struggling with depression. Bronwyn supports women who want to feel more strong, connected and comfortable in their own skin. She has a Masters of Social Work from Smith College School for Social Work and believes that personal transformation is what heals the world.    Topics discussed in this episode:  What it means to be highly sensitive (2:03) How Bronwyn was drawn to working with highly sensitive women (5:52) How depression can mirror the experiences of a highly sensitive person (HSP) (6:52) The importance and value in creating space for grief and depression (8:55) What is depression and how it shows up for HSPs (9:23) The characteristics specific to the HSP brain and their impact on HSPs (15:25) How HSPs feel deeply the full range of emotions and the experience of being human (16:47) The challenges of an HSP in discerning and disentangling from other’s emotions (17:52) The differences in an HSP’s experience of recovering and healing from depression (18:55) The importance of seeking out an HSP-informed therapist when you are a HSP (19:47) Tips to help HSPs manage the trait (27:31) The benefits of being an HSP (37:37)   Resources: Bronwyn’s website: https://www.bronwynshiffertherapy.com/   Bronwyn’s blog post on how to find a therapist: https://www.bronwynshiffertherapy.com/blog/how-to-find-a-therapist  Bronwyn’s blog post on asking yourself what you need:  https://www.bronwynshiffertherapy.com/blog/self-care-needs  Dr. Elain Aron’s website: https://hsperson.com/  Donna Eden’s website: https://edenenergymedicine.com/ 

In this episode of Women In-Depth, Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW, shares why, despite preparation, resources, knowledge, and support, we sometimes fail to achieve our goals. While Bridgit specifically discusses being stuck in relation to larger life goals, her work also applies to other ways we are stuck in our lives.    She is the author of “The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals,” and the founder of the New York Voice Dialogue Institute. Bridgit received her MSW from Columbia University and teaches in numerous professional settings, including the Omega Institute. She lives in New York City where she maintains a thriving private practice. You can connect with her through her website or find her on Youtube, Instagram, Facebook or Twitter.   Topics discussed in this episode:  Inner Selves and the idea of multiple ego states with competing agendas (2:54) The Final 8th: failing inside a victory  (3:29)  Developing a direct relationship with our inner selves (5:06) How our early childhood influences our inner selves (5:35) The gifts of our inner selves (6:08) Using Voice Dialogue to listen and communicate with our inner selves (6:52) How our inner selves to protect us from vulnerability (16:52) The importance of processing grief (18:36) Approaching our inner selves with compassion and curiosity (19:22) Gifts of our hidden selves (23:56) The power of the Blameography Exercise (25:03) The challenge of the double bind or twisted loyalties (28:48) Developing the ability to let go of a goal (30:26) Practicing safe success (33:01)   Resources: Bridgit’s website: http://www.bridgit-dengel-gaspard.com/  Bridgit’s book: The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals Bridgit’s free Voice Dialogue Zoom Shop on the 3rd Thursday of the month: https://www.final8th.com/ 

In this episode of Women In-Depth, Lourdes Viado  & Carmen Schmidt Benedetti continue their podcast series on Complex Trauma and Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs).  Today they discuss where our anxiety comes from and why it matters.   Dr. Lourdes Viado is a psychotherapist for anxious and overwhelmed highly sensitive women in Las Vegas, Nevada.  She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practitioner and integrates Jungian psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, and astrology into her work with clients.  She is also the host of the Women In-Depth Podcast:  Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 350,000x in 96 countries.   Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a psychotherapist for highly sensitive womxn in Sonoma County, California. She helps them to heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create calm, balance and stability in their life. As a Certified EMDR therapist, Carmen guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, coming to believe they are ‘good enough’ and their needs and feelings matter   Topics discussed in this episode:  The relationship between anxiety and trauma and the HSP trait (1:45) The importance of understanding the different types of anxiety and the brain in order to reduce anxiety (4:38) Cortex-based anxiety (5:49) Some times for reducing cortex-cased anxiety (9:23) Amygdala-based anxiety (10:49) Differences between amygdala-based and cortex-based anxiety (20:56) Some tips for reducing amygdala-based anxiety (25:52) Treating the root of anxiety versus treating the symptoms of anxiety (30:04) How the HSP trait impacts understanding and healing from anxiety and trauma (33:14)   Resources: Carmen’s website: https://carmenschmidtmft.com/  “Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry” is available on Amazon or your favorite independent bookseller    Related Episodes: https://lourdesviado.com/124-complex-trauma-and-the-highly-sensitive-person/  https://lourdesviado.com/127-complex-trauma-in-the-highly-sensitive-person/  https://lourdesviado.com/132-tools-for-the-highly-sensitive-person/

In this episode of Women In-Depth,  Alana Carvalho, LMHC, shares her insights on helping parents recover from patterns of codependency and perfectionism so they can raise empowered children.     Alana Carvalho is a licensed mental health counselor who focuses on helping parents, couples and individuals build balanced relationships by releasing old patterns and becoming more authentic. She is especially passionate about helping individuals see how healing codependency and perfectionism can lead to a more joy filled life. Alana has lectured on child development at The College of Staten Island. Her first book Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting is now available on amazon.com. Alana maintains her private practice in Midtown Manhattan and is currently seeing clients virtually. You can connect with her through her website, Instagram, podcast or you can email her at alana@alanacarvalho.com   Topics discussed in this episode:  The importance of helping parents understand codependency and perfectionism (2:39)  What is codependency? (8:57) How codependency can show up in parenting (9:34) How someone can begin to heal from codependency (18:31) What is perfectionism? (19:52) How perfectionism can show up in parenting (20:30) The double whammy of codependency and perfectionism in parenting (24:25) The impact of little, everyday kinds of trauma (29:08) The importance of emotional safety (35:20) Bringing faith and spirituality into parenting (42:59)   Resources: Alana’s website: https://www.alanacarvalho.com/  Alana’s book:  Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionist’s Guide to Parenting  Women In-Depth episodes on childhood emotional neglect (CEN)with Dr. Jonice Webb:   Childhood Emotional Neglect:   The Invisible Experience After Childhood Emotional Neglect:  Healing Your Relationships with Your Partner, Children, & Parents

Join me in a laughter-filled conversation with Allison Lefkowitz, author of “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Toolkit: Everyday Strategies for Thriving in an Overstimulating World,” and one of the best resources for highly sensitive individuals. Allison is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in New York City who specializes in working with highly sensitive people (HSPs). Topics discussed in this episode:  What it means to be Highly Sensitive (8:18) Areas where Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) struggle (9:30)  How to differentiate an empath versus an HSP (10:16) Self-Advocacy and Self Parenting: the first of the nine Core Skills for HSPs (13:26) The Self-Advocacy and Self Parenting Skill Set (14:51) The *5 Different Sensitive Styles (23:19) What has surprised Allison the most in her work with HSPs (30:02)   Resources: Allison’s website: http://almft.com/  Allison’s email: AllisonLefkowitz@icloud.com  The Highly Sensitive Person’s Toolkit: http://almft.com/highly-sensitive-persons-toolkit-book/  *Resource for the 5 different sensitive styles:  Living With Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults, edited by Susan Daniels and Michael Piechowski

In this episode, Karly Randolph Pitman and I explore the parts of ourselves that tend to overeat in response to stress through the metaphor of “Food as Mother” and how this perspective can help us understand why we overeat and move towards changing this behavior.   Karly is the founder and facilitator at www.growinghumankindness. She helps highly sensitive people who struggle with shame, sugar, and perfectionism and who want to heal painful habits of self blame, self criticism, and over consuming.     Growing human(kind)ness arose from two things:  Karly’s own experience with 20 years of multiple eating disorders, chronic depression, shame, and anxiety; and from bearing witness to others’ stories of challenge, growth and rebirth.    Karly lives in Austin, Texas with her husband Patrick and her family of two dogs, a very frisky cat, lots of dust bunnies, and beautiful oak trees.   Topics discussed in this episode:  How food has become a refuge during the Covid-19 pandemic (3:58) Food and the Mother archetype (4:56) Food is safe, nourishing & comforting (5:16) Food as Mother as a metaphor for our relationship with food The significance of core needs Overeating as soul preservation  (9:17) Listening & connecting to the side of ourselves that is seeking solace in food (9:44) Moving away from thinking of overeating as the enemy (9:56) Tending and befriending rather than fighting (10:06) How this approach helped Karly move away from shame regarding her eating disorder (10:22) The shift in our approach to a challenging aspect of ourselves shifts our relationship to that aspect of ourself and plays a huge part in changing the behavior (11:45) Our coping mechanisms for stress, overwhelm & trauma can be messy (12:29) Stand in contrast to the Western culture of controlling your own destiny (13:08) Can cause you to dislike your response to stress (13:31) Examples:  Eating when you are stressed (13:31) Binge watching Netflix (13:36) Understanding the base human need for connection (14:15) Dr. Anita Johnston’s book “Eating by the Light of the Moon” (15:07) How the kinds of food we are eating reflect the kind of nourishment we are seeking  Recognizing the wisdom of the body’s desires for a particular food (16:42) How sugar or comfort foods can make you feel heard, understood & acknowledged (17:03) The risk that of not being heard or understood when you ask someone for support (17:47) How the act of eating is used to fill the need for empathy (18:20)  How the food reflects back what we are feeling and needing (18:45) How food does not carry the same risk as someone dismissing or minimizing your feelings (19:09) Yet food does not meet the need for connection (20:03) Food becomes a safe substitute for meeting your needs (20:36) How to transition from using food for connection to finding safe connections within ourselves and others (21:27) Very different from breaking a habit (21:46) Focus moves away from changing a behavior to nurturing safety within your being and others (22:12) Deepening connections within yourself and the wider world (22:36) Food becomes one of many ways for connection rather than the primary way (22:50) Becoming consciously aware of the part of yourself that is overeating and your internal critic (24:11) How Karly’s focus on self-compassion brings you into a loving and nourishing relationship with that part of yourself (24:47) How connecting to the Mother archetype helped Karly (25:04) Ideas for connecting with the Mother archetype Gardening, caring for pets, relationships with loved ones (25:43) Seeing your needs as sacred (26:16) Befriending your neediness and healing your relationship with food are intimately connected (26:38) Acknowledging our needs can be shaming (26:56) When we have shame regarding our needs, there is no way to acknowledge them directly (27:21) We can use food to fill the deficit, but we continue to feel unnourished, deprived and unprotected (27:21) Having a different relationship with our needs often changes our relationship to receiving (27:55) Being a place of receiving can be very vulnerable if we’ve been shamed for our needs in the past (28:11) The risks in asking for help (29:43) Karly & Lourdes’ work with Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) (30:41) HSPs are more attuned to their needs and feelings (30:51) Can create shame in a culture that isn’t attuned to feeling or emotion (31:06) For HSPs, food can become a way of receiving mothering (31:30) Asking for your needs to be met can be risky, but it’s the way forward to receive the help and support that feeds and nourishes us (32:00) Suggestion for personal practice: Asking yourself and your loved ones, “What do you need?” (32:57) Can make the person responding to the question feel very vulnerable (34:03) Allow the person responding time to process before answering (34:29) Some beginning steps to help someone working with overeating (36:44) Consider overeating as a prayer in disguise (37:07) It’s a part of yourself asking for help (37:19) Pause and ask yourself: What are you feeling? What are you needing? (37:48) Karly offers a free tool: The Binge Rescue worksheet (38:16) Helps build the internal sense of holding rather than seeking it through food (38:50) Connect with Karly at https://growinghumankindness.com/   Resources:   Karly Randolph Pitman’s website: https://growinghumankindness.com/  Karly’s courses: https://growinghumankindness.com/courses/  The Binge Rescue worksheet: https://growinghumankindness.com/binge-rescue/  Dr. Anita Johnston’s website: https://dranitajohnston.com/eating-in-the-light-of-the-moon/  Dr. Johnson’s previous episodes: Episode 59: Cracking the Hunger Code Through Storytelling and Metaphor with Anita Johnston, Ph.D.

In this episode, therapist and pychotherapist Maya Benattar and I talk about her intriguing work in music therapy.  Maya is in private practice in New York City and online in the State of New York. (01:24) She specializes in helping women who are ready to work through trauma, “stuckness,” and long-held anxiety.  In addition to her clinical work, she offers online and in-person “Reclaim Your Rhythm” workshops for helpers and healers and is a frequent presenter and speaker at conferences and trainings.   Maya received her Bachelors in Music Therapy from SUNY New Paltz and her Masters in Music Therapy from New York University.  (01:54) She completed post-graduate training in vocal psychotherapy with Dr. Diane Austin, in creative arts and trauma treatment at the Kint Institute, and Music & Imagery with Dr. Lisa Summer at Institute for Music & Consciousness. (2:12) Maya believes that women deserve to be loud, messy, sensitive, angry, shy, and so much more.  (2:23)   Topics discussed in this episode: How Maya found music therapy as her calling (3:05) What is music therapy? (4:24) A working definition of music therapy (5:09) Maya’s approach to music therapy (6:48) An overview of the theoretical approaches to music therapy (7:15) Maya’s psychodynamic model of generational influence on how people show up in the moment (7:43) The impact of trauma and influence of untold stories (7:43) Hypothetical approach to working with a woman with anxiety (8:14) Approach is individualized Maya’s tagline “Reclaim Your Rhythm” (8:39) Often women with anxiety or trauma have become disconnected from their core rhythms (8:49) Gentle mindfulness and body based sematic work (9:11) Creating music in the moment to reflect or deepen a certain feeling or idea (9:24) Using musical instruments and art supplies to facilitate sessions (10:14) Adjusting to online sessions during the Covid-19 pandemic (11:13) Exploring the relationship between lack of control and anxiety through music (11:29) The differences between talk and music therapy (12:42) The struggle with the unknown for women (14:24) The gifts & challenges of rediscovering play as an adult (15:29) Musical improvisation as the work of therapy (16:34) Music as an access point to different aspects of ourselves (17:39) Benefits of using tactile objects during in-person sessions (19:00) Ways to make the abstract real (19:56) Reclaiming Your Rhythm as a big process as well as gentle tending (21:00) How musical therapy surprises and inspires (22:16) Discovering and returning to the big wins for clients (24:23) Unexpected benefits of telehealth (24:42) Music Listening in Music Therapy (25:05) Most accessible way to explore musical therapy on your own (25:25) What works for one person does not work for another (25:25) Challenges of working with preconceived notions & assumptions (27:19) Anxiety and the need to feel grounded and a release (28:25) What works for a client on a particular day and in a particular moment may change (29:20) Develop playlists rather than leaning on a particular song (29:36) Practice listening to the music and paying attention to what it evokes (30:10) Creating space to explore and recognizing what you need or want (30:10)   Resources:   Maya’s website: https://www.mayabenattar.com/ Dr. Diane Austin’s website: http://dianeaustin.com/music/?page_id=7 The Kint Institute’s website: https://kintinstitute.org/

Welcome to episode 2 of a brand new Women In-Depth series hosted by Lourdes Viado and Carmen Schmidt Benedetti.  This series focuses on highly sensitive persons (HSPs) who have experienced complex trauma.    Lourdes and Carmen hope this discussion will help listeners get more clarity and understanding of the HSP’s experience of and recovery from complex trauma.  As HSPs themselves, Lourdes & Carmen  are passionate about working with individuals with this trait and welcome your ideas and questions as we move forward.   Dr. Lourdes Viado is a psychotherapist for anxious and overwhelmed highly sensitive women in Las Vegas, Nevada.  She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practitioner and integrates Jungian psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, and astrology into her work with clients.  She is also the host of the Women In-Depth Podcast:  Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 350,000x in 96 countries.   Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a psychotherapist for highly sensitive womxn in Sonoma County, California. She helps them to heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create calm, balance and stability in their life. As a Certified EMDR therapist, Carmen guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, coming to believe they are ‘good enough’ and their needs and feelings matter   Topics discussed in this episode: Tips & suggestions for navigating the holidays and staying calm, centered & grounded (1:49) Specific to Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) (2:01) Everyone can benefit from ways to calm their nervous system (2:10) Also useful for navigating everyday life (2:21) Clarification and definition of “trigger” or “triggers” (2:25) Use of the word can be upsetting (2:54) Alternate words will be used to interchangeably describing the feeling of being emotionally charged by something that has happened (3:07) Alternatives: reactive, distressed, activated, emotionally charged (3:12) There is a need to prepare or respond in order to cope with whatever is happening to you effectively (3:52) Boundaries as a framework for discussion (4:23) Time: having boundaries around your time When planning your time, be very clear from the start (5:14) Clearly communicate and set expectations (5:29) Setup cue words with partner to signal it’s time to leave (5:53) Asking for time to make a decision (6:24) Building time to transition and decompress into your schedule (7:02) Lighten your schedule during the holiday season (7:35) Boundary setting is a great skill for HSPs to learn (8:09) Will help you feel safe & in control (8:24) Will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed (8:24) Connection between feeling calm and centered and how well you are setting your boundaries (8:43) Your body & your physical space (8:54) How much you allow yourself to take on in terms of your energy level (9:08) Self care is another essential skill for HSPs (9:53) Balancing nurturing and supporting others while honoring your needs (10:57) Being mindful of those around you and their energy and emotions (11:43) HSPs will mirror the energy and emotions of those around them, both positive and negative (11:47) Pay attention to clues that you are beginning to get overwhelmed (12:34) Develop strategies to calm your nervous system when you are overwhelmed (13:18) Unplugging, turning off your screens, going for a walk outside (13:41) Diaphragmatic or belly breathing activates your relaxation system (14:02) Explore techniques which give your senses a break (15:17) Limiting alcohol,caffeine and sugar due to the intense effect they can have on HSPs (15:32) Tips for events and traveling (16:02) Create smaller gatherings (16:03) Choose accommodations, ways of traveling, and locations that limit overstimulation (17:08) Develop a strategy for hugs and handshakes and communicate your preference to friends and family (17:43) Avoid hurt feelings and awkwardness in the moment (17:47) Create your own sacred space or retreat (18:24) A place for you to rejuvenate and restore (18:29) Set boundaries around this space with your loved ones (18:57) Whatever works for you around taking care and protecting you and your family is ok (20:14) Intellectual or communication boundaries (21:16) Being clear and direct about your needs (21:29) Avoid using qualifiers which diminish the clarity of your boundary (22:54) Saying no is acceptable and no explanation is necessary (22:56) Communicating in writing can be easier (23:33) Emotional Boundaries (26:51) Disagreements, differences of opinions & hurt feelings from others can be particularly challenging for HSPs (27:03) HSPs default is to notice and nurture the emotions of others (27:42) Important to focus on your well being and sense of calm (28:14) Balance acknowledging the emotions of others while honoring how you feel (29:10) Boundary setting is uncomfortable (30:37) If you are setting boundaries where they are needed, you will experience pushback (30:53) People and situations who have difficulty with boundaries are the ones who need it the most (31:08) Recognize that stress and discomfort is normal with boundary setting (31:15) Reminder: you are not responsible for others’ feelings or reactions (31:47) Choose and create experiences that help you bring you joy and help you feel calm and grounded (33:32) Being assertive is related to boundary setting (34:02) Being clear about what you want, expressing it, and expressing how you feel (34:08) Do the things that help your body decompress (35:02) Exercise or getting enough sleep (35:08) Hobbies that help you relax: journaling or creating art (35:18) Being present for your moments of joy to give you strength during moments with difficult emotions (35:57) Holidays are particularly challenging for survivors of trauma (36:10) Important to create places and people who can support you (36:23) For example: therapist, a podcast, a good friend or family member (36:44) Schedule an extra session with your therapist or phone call with a friend to help process your emotions (37:07) Energetic Boundaries (37:21) Importance of managing energy and emotions to stay grounded (37:32) HSPs tend to take on a lot of energy from others (37:50) Slowing down during times of increased hustle and bustle like the holiday season (38:31) Recognizing that the holiday season can be associated with negative experiences and the need to manage those emotions (39:03) Staying focused on the present moment and what you can do right now (39:37) Simplifying where you can (40:30) Keep your meals basic and simple to make them easier to manage (40:35) Being gentle and compassionate with yourself and your energetic capacity (41:38) Financial and Material Aspects of Life (43:18) Being intentional about gifting (43:44) How many gifts are you buying? (43:44) Who is on your list? (43:45) What is your budget? (43:47) Establishing expectations around decorations (43:58) Exploring gifts that will create memories (44:41) Recognizing that financial circumstance are very different for many people right now (45:30) Exploring alternatives to spending money (46:10) Carmen and Lourdes are available for online therapy for those seeking extra support in California and Nevada (47:06) For those outside of California & Nevada, Dr. Elaine Aron’s website: The Highly Sensitive Person (hsperson.com) has a list of therapists with experience working with HSPs (47:40) Carmen and Lourdes can also assist with referrals (48:10)

We’re excited to welcome back Bethany Webster to the podcast since her last visit in November 2016 where we discussed the “Mother Wound”. Her 2014 article “Why it’s Crucial for Women to Heal the Mother Wound” went viral and brought worldwide attention to her body of work in feminism and women’s leadership and personal development. Bethany’s work addresses a crucial gap in women’s psychology and empowerment by comprehensively defining the Mother Wound and how it manifests in women’s lives (1:42).   Bethany has a Master’s degree in psychology and completed training in Life Coaching from Joanna Lindenbaum and Holistic MBA. Prior to coaching, as a graduate student she focused on social psychology research on the intersection of race, class and gender. Post-grad school, she worked in academia in the area of research ethics and also as a writer/editor at Weill Cornell Medical Center in New York City.   Topics discussed in this episode:   Healing the Mother Wound (3:07) Discovering the Inner Mother How the Work is Evolving and Resonating throughout the world Importance of this work during the Covid-19 pandemic (3:20) Impact on those healing from trauma or working on spiritual growth (4:59) Quick recap of the November 2016 episode with Bethany: What is the Mother Wound? (5:39) The connection between the Mother Wound and the patriarchy (5:45) The three levels of the Mother Wound (5:47) The connection between unhealthy motherhood behaviours patterns in adult life and the Mother Wound (5:50) Taboos and stereotypes about the Mother Wound (5:59) Benefits of openly discussing the Mother Wound (6:05) What is the Mother Wound (6:17) How 23 years as a client in depth psychotherapy started Bethany’s journey (6:43) Definition of the Mother Wound (7:13) The Four Levels of the Mother Wound (7:15) The Personal Level - how painful dynamics with our mothers shaped or limited how we see ourselves (7:21) The Cultural Level - how the Mother Wound is a product of living as a woman in a patriarchal society (8:17) The Spiritual Level - how pain between ourselves and our mothers, ranging from mild to traumatic, leads to an existential sense of feeling separate (9:18) The Planetary Level - how the Mother Wound impacts how we treat the planet (10:34) Goals of the work (11:53) Increase awareness of the urgency and primacy of healing the Mother Wound Human attachment is the base of conflicts and problems (12:09) Importance of transforming our culture into a place where all people can thrive (12:52) The depth and breadth of the Mother Wound (13:14) How the Mother Wound shows up in therapy (13:24) Self-criticism, perfectionism, comparison & competition between women Difficulty in showing self-compassion & receiving Acts of self sabotage Books exploring the Mother Wound The work of Clarissa Pinkola Estes which explores when the mother-child dynamic is not working (14:07) Bethany’s upcoming book, “The Inner Mother” (14:33) which is about nurturing and developing that part of yourself Resources discussing the Mother-Child Dynamic (15:32) Previous podcast discussing development trauma in infants with Selma Bacevac (15:03) https://lourdesviado.com/118-why-infant-mental-health-matters/ Gabor Mate’s work regarding the impact of maternal trauma on infants in utero (15:43) https://drgabormate.com/ Healing the Mother Wound as a foundation for creating a new world (16:15) Our defenses around our pain (16:23) Projecting onto others, fearing connecting, pushing people away & sabotaging ourselves When our defenses become barriers to our thriving and potential (17:59) Understanding our Safety Algorithm as a coping mechanism (18:24) Understanding and filling the Mother Gaps (19:14) Definition of the Mother Gaps (19:22) Unconscious coping skills we’ve developed to fill those gaps (19:31) Filling the gap by building internal resilience (19:53) Gifts of Healing the Inner Mother (20:26) Leadership qualities, speaking truth, standing their ground, pursuing their dreams, expanded capacity for pleasure and good things Restructuring the brain (20:46) Comparing the inner child to the amygdala and the inner mother as the prefrontal cortex Building new connections and accessing new choices & possibilities The Mother Wound as a pattern of behavior we developed as children that is no longer serving us as adults and the response to a particular situation is an emotional memory (22:13) Learning to be with challenging emotions as part of Inner Mothering work (22:45) Simple steps to begin healing the Mother Wound (22:55) Connecting with your inner child (23:10) Concerns and fears of connecting with your inner child are normal (25:12) If you are feeling stuck or stumped, give yourself lots of empathy (25:57) Connecting with your inner child as a tool for getting through tough moments (26:19) Journaling exercises (26:30) What did you need as a child that you didn’t get enough of? (26:40) What’s one of my current challenges right now that’s repeating? (26:47) How is my inner child keeping me safe and holding me back? (27:20) Where is your Safety Algorithm? (28:30) What does your Inner Child need to feel safe? What are her biggest fears right now? (28:32) Advanced work for healing the Mother Wound (28:40) Morning ritual with your Inner Child (28:42) Morning greeting to your Inner Child (28:53) Morning affirmations to make your Inner Child feel supported and safe (29:37) Validate and differentiate (29:46) Validate the feelings of the Inner Child Differentiate between the past and the present moments (30:02) Evening ritual with your child, for parents and for those working with their inner children (31:28) What was good about your day? What was a struggle about your day? Reviewing your day (31:52) Affirming you are safe (31:54) Connecting with Bethany (32:50) Free ebook “What is the Mother Wound” https://ebook.bethanywebster.com/ (32:57) Bethany’s website: https://www.bethanywebster.com/ (33:03) Free Facebook Group: (33:18) “Discovering the Inner Mother: A Guide to Healing the Mother Wound and Claiming your Power,” coming out January 5th, 2021 and a pre-order bonus (33:23) Free & paid courses: https://www.bethanywebster.com/inner-mother-course/ (33:40) Upcoming Toolkit (34:14) How to Handle Family Gatherings and Stay True to Ourselves   Resources: Clarissa Pinkola Estes, “Warming the Stone Child” (14:07)             https://www.audible.com/pd/Warming-the-Stone-Child-Audiobook/B002V8KO8C             https://www.amazon.com/Warming-Stone-Child-audiobook/dp/B000EPRHJS   Related Podcasts: “Why Infant Mental Health Matters” with Selma Bacevac https://lourdesviado.com/118-why-infant-mental-health-matters/   Bethany Webster             https://www.bethanywebster.com/             https://ebook.bethanywebster.com/ (32:57)

Welcome to a brand new Women In-Depth series hosted by Lourdes Viado and Carmen Schmidt Benedetti.  This series focuses on highly sensitive persons (HSPs) who have experienced complex trauma.       In this episode, Lourdes and Carmen hope listeners will gain more clarity and understanding regarding how HSPs experience complex trauma.   Dr. Lourdes Viado is a psychotherapist for anxious and overwhelmed highly sensitive women in Las Vegas, Nevada.  She is a Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI) Certified Practitioner and integrates Jungian psychology, mindfulness, neuroscience, and astrology into her work with clients.  She is also the host of the Women In-Depth Podcast:  Conversations about the Inner Lives of Women, which has been downloaded over 350,000x in 96 countries.    Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a psychotherapist for highly sensitive womxn in Sonoma County, California. She helps them to heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create calm, balance and stability in their life. As a Certified EMDR therapist, Carmen guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, coming to believe they are ‘good enough’ and their needs and feelings matter.      Topics discussed in this episode:   Complex Trauma and Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) (1:34)  Challenges in recognizing Complex Trauma (3:36)  Understanding high sensitivity (4:06)  Challenges and gifts of recognizing complex trauma (4:55)  A sense of validation & relief (5:53)  What is Complex Trauma? (6:59)  On-going experience without a clear end point (7:14)  Physical or emotional abuse or neglect in childhood (7:22)  Experiences within early relationships with caregivers (7:31)  A parent unable to engage or respond emotionally for a variety of reasons (8:39)  A child who is “parentified” and feels responsible for taking care of their parent (10:04)  Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study (10:56)  Study conducted between 1995 and 1997 regarding experiences in childhood that result in health issues for the individual (11:15)  Some examples  Physical, verbal & sexual abuse and physical & emotional neglect (11:22)  A parent dealing with substance abuse or an addiction (11:41)  A mother who is a victim of domestic violence (11:45)  A family member in jail (11:53)  A family member with a mental illness (11:53)  The disappearance or absence of a parent through death, divorce, or abandonment (11:58)  Potential consequences of parent not being present  Child taking care of their siblings (12:41)  Dealing with bullying by themselves (12:42)  Child possibly being less safe due to lack of parental supervision (12:55)  Resources  ACES Study: https://acestoohigh.com/ (13:27)  Dr. Jonice Webb’s work on Childhood Emotional Neglect: : https://drjonicewebb.com/ (13:45)  What is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (14:32)  PTSD is in the DSM V - the manual therapists use to diagnose (14:54)  Insurance companies require diagnosis based on the DSM V (15:14)  Complex Trauma can be missed or misdiagnosed because it is not in the DSM V (15:43)  PTSD is generally more familiar and recognizable (16:14)  Some overlap between PTSD and Complex Trauma (16:38)  Common Symptoms of PTSD that can show up differently in Complex Trauma (17:03)  Usually caused by one-time events  Feeling raw or on-edge  Emotion response to a particular situation is out of proportion   Avoiding places, people or things that remind them of the trauma  Disconnecting to things or numbing out through substance use or mentally checking out (17:44)  Acute Stress Disorder (ASD): what happens within the first 30 days after a traumatic event (18:20)   PTSD continues this response beyond the first 30 days (18:20)  PTSD layered on undiagnosed acute Complex Trauma is often the catalyst for seeking treatment (19:42)  Vantage sensitivity for HSPs (21:31)  HSPs’ emotional intensity and depth of processing amplifies the trauma experience (22:07)  Presents challenges for the HSP and the parent of an HSP trying to manage these intense emotions (22:24)  HSPs can struggle to regulate their emotions (23:23)  HSPs can experience shame due to their emotional intensity (24:02)   Common misdiagnosis of HSPs (24:30)  Bipolar due to lack of familiarity with HSPs and/or Complex Trauma (24:39)  Generalized Anxiety Disorder (24:55)  Treatment of the physical symptoms of HSPs (25:25)  Finding a mental health care provider familiar with HSPs and Complex Trauma can best help the HSP work through the overlapping issues (27:15.)  Approximately 40-50% clients in therapy tend to be HSPs (29:30)  Deeply understanding HSPs will help therapists working to support their clients’ healing (30:50)    Resources:  Carmen’s website: https://carmenschmidtmft.com/     Lourdes’ website:  https://lourdesviado.com    Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Study website: https://acestoohigh.com/     Dr. Jonice Webb’s website on Childhood Emotional Neglect: https://drjonicewebb.com/   September 8, 2016 The Women in Depth Podcast “Childhood Emotional Neglect: The Invisible Experience”  October 20, 2017 The Women in Depth Podcast “After Childhood Emotional Neglect: Healing Your Relationships with Your Partner, Children & Parents” 

 “As long as the factors that led your child to create distance remain in place, he or she will not be able to settle into an easy, relaxed, loving, and close relationship with you.” “What you do in response to estrangement very much matters and can make the difference between a prolonged estrangement and a healed one.” When children grow into adults, the nature of the parent-child relationship changes as well. On this episode, I talk with Tina Gilbertson, psychotherapist and author of Reconnecting with your Estranged Child. Her book is a quality, comprehensive resource and guide for parents who are ready and wanting to heal this rift that’s come between themselves and their adult child. Throughout our conversation, Tina offers profound compassion for parents and children with this type of strained relationship, along with tips on how to heal. She explains why it’s essential to allow your child space to grow, why they may have felt the estrangement was necessary, and how parents can reflect on the reasons why this estrangement occurred.   About Tina Gilbertson: Located in Denver, CO, Tina works as a psychotherapist, speaker, and author of the book Reconnecting with your Estranged Child. She specializes in estrangement counseling, particularly for parents rejected by adult children. In 2019, Tina co-founded the Reconnection Club, where she offers education, community, and support to help estranged parents repair their estranged relationships with their adult children.   Some Questions I Ask: How were you drawn to this work? (2:43) What does it mean to be estranged from your adult child? (6:38) How does estrangement happen? (13:40) Could you talk about the significance of unmet shared needs between an estranged parent and child? (22:21) What are the do’s and don’ts for a parent with a child who has asserted a no-contact relationship? (34:58) How can an estranged parent approach a child that’s been alienated from them at a young age? (40:50)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: What motivated Tina to write her book (2:10) How parents still have power and influence within their relationships with their children. (5:58) The various types of estrangement. (6:41) What factors contribute to the estranged relationships between parents and children. (13:47) How estrangement functions as an act of self-preservation. (20:31) How finding self-compassion enables acceptance of others. (26:03) Why contact is not the solution to estrangement. (27:36) How parents can sit with and move through feelings of abandonment, panic, and desperation after a child goes no-contact. (35:14)   Connect with Tina Gilbertson: Website Reconnecting with your Estranged Adult Child by Tina Gilbertson Reconnection Club Website The Reconnection Club Podcast

"I value color as a way to communicate and as a way to share ideas and be able to feel movement of emotion and energy in your body."   One of the biggest hurdles of being a parent is helping our kids fall asleep at night.   As parents, it’s necessary to find the right tools to help kids learn to relax, process, and be with their big feelings – and many parents are still learning these skills as well.   On this episode, I talk with Susanne Benton, who has this seemingly magical ability to help kids relax and fall asleep. She creates bedtime meditations for kids on Insight Timer, and seamlessly weaves in magic, beauty, and wonder into the stories she tells. Susanne shares her behind-the-scenes process for writing these meditations for kids, how she comes up with the right stories, and why she emphasizes the importance of imagination and color.   About Susanne Benton: Susanne is a mother, step-mother, and grandmother with a degree in Child and Family Studies from the University of Wisconsin Madison. She opened her own daycare called Magical Child Family Daycare, where her goal became to create an environment in which children felt welcomed, challenged, and supported in their unique growth. Susanne also developed a thriving practice as a massage therapist over the last 12 years.   Four years ago, Susanne combined her bodywork, mindfulness, and relaxation skills with her experiences with children and families, and with that began writing bedtime stories and recording bedtime meditations. She loves sharing resources for both parents and kids that make falling asleep easier each night.   Some Questions I Ask: What drew you to begin creating the bedtime meditations for children? (8:47) Can you share about why you emphasize colors in your meditations? (19:44) How do you come up with the meditations? (25:51) How do the elements within the meditations become tools for kids? (27:49) What do you love most about creating meditations? (33:13)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why developing skills to balance intense, accelerated learning with relaxation is so beneficial for children. (5:56) How Susanne incorporates imagination and colors into her meditations. (10:38) How parents can supply their children with soothing and skills to manage trauma and fear. (16:06) What kids like about their custom meditations. (25:03) How to make bedtime a smoother process. (35:09)   Connect with Susanne Benton: Insight Timer Website Facebook Instagram

How do you see and interact with the world around you?     While some people go through life without paying attention to every little detail, highly sensitive persons pick up on just about everything – and every bit of information is deeply processed within.     On this episode, I talk with trauma-informed psychotherapist Carmen Schmidt Benedetti  about highly sensitive persons (HSPs) who have had the experience of complex trauma, particularly complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. We break down the myths and misconceptions around the intersection of high sensitivity and PTSD; how it manifests in people’s lives; and how people can learn to treat their high sensitivity as a gift.     About Carmen Schmidt Benedetti  Located in Sonoma County, California, Carmen Schmidt Benedetti is a trauma-informed psychotherapist for highly sensitive adults. She helps them heal layers of unrecognized childhood trauma and create a sense of calm, balance, and stability in their life. She is also a certified EMDR therapist and guides adults in reframing their past from an empowered perspective, helping them realize they are good enough and that their needs and feelings matter.     Some Questions I Ask:   How did you end up working in the intersection of highly sensitive individuals and complex trauma? (3:07)  What are some of the myths about high sensitivity? (10:58)  What’s complex trauma? (14:14)  Why is complex PTSD so significant for highly sensitive individuals? (23:15)  How can highly sensitive individuals who have experienced trauma move forward towards healing? (32:03)    In This Episode, You Will Learn:   What it means to be highly sensitive. (7:12)  How complex trauma is different from other types of trauma. (14:47)  How complex trauma shows up in individuals. (19:32)  How complex trauma affects emotional regulation. (26:17)  Why it’s important for highly sensitive persons to seek a therapist who is informed on this trait. (34:00)    Resources:   Carmen Schmidt Benedetti’s Website  The Trauma Treatment Toolbox by Jennifer Sweetens  The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel an der Kolk  HS Person Website 

“It’s part of our culture that we’re supposed to respect our parents, and I understand that that’s important. But sometimes that relationship does not work.” As a child, did you absorb the belief that you’re not good enough. or that you don’t have the right to be your own person?    This is a telltale sign of having a narcissistic parent and the root issue behind  other thought negative processes; issues around self-perception; and even one’s own parenting styles.   In this episode, I talk with clinical psychologist Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg, PsyD, who has personal experience in growing up with a narcissistic parent as well as a passion for helping others move forward from similar experiences.  In this conversation, Dr. Kriesberg discusses what it’s like to have a narcissistic mother, and some of the dynamics inherent in this experience. She also dives into how to cope; and some of the misperceptions around having a narcissistic mother.   About Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg: Located in New England, Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg is a clinical psychologist who helps parents, children, teens, and adults with narcissistic parents lead healthier, happier lives. She treats children, teens, and adults with anxiety disorders – including social anxiety, panic disorder and phobias. She has over 20 years of experience with extensive training in the treatment of anxiety disorders and in the use of clinical hypnosis.   Some Questions I Ask: How did you get drawn to your work? (3:15) What does it mean for someone to be described as narcissistic? (5:11) How can you determine if your parent is narcissistic? (12:17) How does one cope with a narcissistic parent? (27:04) Does a narcissistic parent care if they ever see their children? (34:31) What do I need to look for in myself to break the cycle of narcissistic parenting? (39:40)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: What it means to have a healthy personality. (5:43) What gaslighting from a narcissistic parent looks like. (17:39) The pattern of inconsistent behaviors in public and behind closed doors. (21:14) Tools to help you find your voice. (30:05) How someone can protect themselves before, during, and after spending time with a narcissistic parent. (36:02) How narcissistic parents experience no-contact from children. (41:42)   Connect with Dr. Stephanie Kriesberg: Website Twitter   Resources: Will I Ever Be Good Enough? By Dr. Karyl McBride Wild Game by Adrienne Brodeur Books by Dani Shapiro

“You are the author of your own life, and you are in charge of crafting the story.”   When was the last time you gave yourself permission to explore your power?     Power isn’t just money, status, or a title – it’s within you. In a world that so highly values climbing the corporate ladder to have power over others, it’s easy to forget the innate power within.     In this episode, I talk with author Marisa Goudy, who recently published her first book The Sovereignty Knot: A Woman’s Way to Freedom, Power, Love, and Magic. Marisa shares her journey to Ireland 20 years ago, where she discovered the myth and magic of the Sovereignty Goddess, which lays the foundation for her book. Throughout our conversation, we analyze the relationship between the Princess, Queen, and Wise Woman, and why each archetype is significant throughout life. We also discuss the taboo topic of death, reproductive expectations for women, and so much more.     Take a listen to learn more about how you can become an authority in your own life.     About Marisa Goudy:    Marisa Goudy is the author of The Sovereignty Knot: A Woman’s Way to Freedom, Power, Love and Magic. She is also an author, writing coach, and energy healer who teaches women how to uncover, embody and tell their own sovereign stories. Marisa combines her passion for Celtic mythology, Goddess spirituality, and Irish folklore with her feminist vision of creating an equitable world that is more beautiful, bearable, and bold. Marisa inspires sovereignty seekers and creative entrepreneurs to embrace their personal, creative, and spiritual sovereignty.     Marisa is also the founder of The Sovereignty Writer’s Circle and creator of the Seven Magic Words Project. She also offers writing, coaching, and Tarot as Intuitive Healing sessions to individuals. She teaches therapists, coaches, creative entrepreneurs, and other transformation professionals how to use storytelling to build their world-renewing businesses.     Some Questions I Ask:   Why did you choose your title? (6:45)  What is the relationship between the Princess, Queen, and Wise Woman? (14:10)  What is a sovereignty map and why is it important? (32:58)  Do you have any favorite parts of your book? (37:26)  What is the best way for listeners to learn more about your work? (42:00)    In This Episode, You Will Learn:   How Marisa Goudy redefines sovereignty. (6:16)  What it means to be an authority in your own life. (12:34)  How the concept of the Sovereignty Goddess creates space to be a real, messy woman. (23:53)  How Marisa tackles the concept of death in her book. (29:26)  Why Marisa chose to share her personal story about having an abortion in her book, and why that was the right thing for her to do. (37:28)      Resources:   Marisa Goudy’s Website  Marisa’s Facebook  Marisa’s LinkedIn  Marisa’s Instagram  The Sovereignty Knot Readers’ Community 

“There’s some distance between the spark and the flame, and in that distance, it gives you the freedom to respond more skillfully to the situation.”  Depression is part of a common human experience but finding relief from it is incredibly complicated.   Depression is a relapsing illness, and taking an antidepressant is not always a viable or effective solution for those suffering.   In this episode, I talk with Dr. Stuart Eisendrath about how to treat depression when the antidepressants just aren’t enough. He walks through the definition of depression and anxiety, how they distort time and how we experience the present moment, and then finally how to align ourselves back to the present moment. Specifically, Dr. Stuart Eisendrath talks about mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, which teaches people a different way to respond to their depressive state, and how to take action in the moment.   Take a listen to learn more about mindfulness practices and cognitive therapy, and how these techniques can shift one’s relationship with depression to finally experience healing.    About Stuart Eisendrath:   Dr. Stuart Eisendrath is the founding Director of the University of California San Francisco Depression Center. He has treated a full range of depressive disorders, from mild to the most severe over the last 40 years using multiple modalities. His lectures on Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for the University of California TV has been viewed over 1.5 million times, and he’s rapidly developing MBCT as a modality for individuals currently in episodes of depression.    Some Questions I Ask:   What drew you to writing this book? (2:14)  What is mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy? (5:57)  How does anger play into depression? (19:52)  How can someone stop the process of rumination? (25:16)  How does mindfulness-based cognitive therapy affect the brain itself? (37:38)  What some first steps people can take to bring mindfulness into their life? (39:26)      In This Episode, You Will Learn:   What alternatives Dr. Stuart Eisendrath uses to treat depression and anxiety. (3:45)  How to change your relationship to cumbersome depressive thoughts. (9:38)  The key to shifting out of a depressive state. (14:31)  How to use the RAIN technique to decenter from the anger that coincides with depression. (21:16)  How Dr. Stuart Eisendrath’s personal experience with depression has informed in his work. (30:43)  How to prevent relapses of depression without continued use of medication. (34:34)      Resources:   UCSF Depression Center  Website  When Antidepressants Aren’t Enough by Dr. Stuart Eisendrath  Facebook  Donate to Women In-Depth 

People feel like food allergies aren’t serious. I think that’s the biggest myth because they are. Food allergies don’t always show up in ways that we expect them to. A food allergy is a medical condition in which exposure to certain foods triggers a harmful immune response—and it’s serious. Allergic reactions pose unique challenges to parents—especially parents of young children who cannot communicate everything they experience as an allergic reaction comes on. This is undoubtedly a scary concept to a child, but sometimes it can be even more anxiety-inducing for the adults responsible for their care. In this episode, I talk with Joann Carter, LCSW. She has both personal and professional experience around managing her children’s various food allergies along with the inevitable anxiety that comes with it. Throughout our conversation, Joann shares about her early experiences of learning to navigate the world after her two sons were diagnosed with severe food allergies. She also shares her insights into what to look for to identify allergic reactions, as well as debunking certain myths around allergies in general. Take a listen to learn more about managing your child’s food allergies and how to stay cool, calm, and collected all the while.   About Joann Carter: Joann Carter is a licensed clinical social worker, serving in the Las Vegas and Henderson communities for over 15 years. Her background in social work has allowed her to view individuals in the whole system of their lives and assist individuals in dealing with mental health struggles, as well as attaining emotional wellness. Joann is currently the only therapist in Nevada on the Food Allergy Counselor Directory. She is also a member of the Food Allergy Behavioral Health Association.   Some Questions I Ask: What was managing a food allergy for your son like for you? (5:16) How prevalent are food allergies in children? (7:19) What indicates a food allergy in children? (8:51) What are some myths or misperceptions around allergies? (11:51) How can a person discern when anxiety around food allergies becomes problematic? (15:54) What words of support or wisdom would you like to share with anxious parents around managing a child’s food allergy? (21:36)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why food allergies cause so much anxiety. (3:11) How to help manage anxiety around food allergies. (5:57) How food allergies affect various areas of children’s lives. (10:55) The difference between a milk intolerance and allergy. (13:40) How Joann personally manages her son’s food allergies. (19:03)   Resources: Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) No Nuts Moms Food Allergy Treatment Talk Joann Carter’s Website

There are really lifelong implications for children who grow up with an emotionally isolating or absent dad.  Some wounds take longer to heal than others. The wounds of paternal abandonment are ones that take a particularly long time to heal. It requires time, a mental and emotional journey, and a definitive decision to let go of the idea that the father will change his ways. In this episode, Rachael Chatham talks with us about the experience of the negligent father and general paternal abandonment, and how this particularly impacts daughters. This experience of the negligent father is very common; Rachael sees it in her practice, but it’s part of her personal narrative as well. Rachael shares with us her journey that led to a transformative experience that allowed her to start taking care of herself—she let go of the fantasy she had written in her head about her father coming back around. Take a listen to learn more about how to heal the wound left from a negligent father, and how you can help a loved one who’s healing as well.   About Rachael Chatham: Rachael Chatham is a Licensed Professional Counselor, psychotherapist, and published author. Her private practice is located in Asheville, North Carolina, where she specializes in navigating relationship challenges and healing complex trauma. Her education is rooted in somatic and transpersonal psychologies, and she approaches her work from a perspective that all beings are whole.  Rachael will be launching her first online course in January 2020: Reclaiming the Self: Returning to the Truth and Beauty of Who You Really Are.   Some Questions I Ask: What drew you to focus in on this area? (2:42) How does the impact of parental abandonment reveal itself in children? (8:31) Why is the absence of a father so impactful? (10:29) What advice do you have for someone who wants to explore this healing process? (26:40)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: How motherhood affected Rachael’s relationship with her negligent father. (6:14) How parental abandonment still happens, even with fathers living in the home. (10:12) How the effects of parental abandonment influence the child’s sense of identity. (15:16) What the grief process looks like when a child lets go of the fantasy that their father could be different. (23:13) About Rachael’s transformative experience that allowed her to start taking care of herself. (27:06)   Resources: Whole Self Therapy The Skillful Self Healing the Father Wound The Fatherless Daughter Project by Denna Babul Will I Ever Be Good Enough by Dr. Karyl McBride

Kids respond to their environment and learn how to survive. Being a baby is more complex than people think. Once born, a baby enters an entirely new world full of sights and sounds and feelings that they’ve never experienced before. Babies absorb it all—and it affects their mental health. Babies don’t “just forget” when something happens. Even without visual memories, their bodies hold onto those memories, they develop survival mechanisms as a result, and they bring those traumas or sense of security into adulthood, too. In this episode, I talk with Selma Bacevac about her work as a national consultant and promoter of baby mental health. Selma breaks down what babies remember from in utero and throughout infancy, and how those memories are stored within their bodies. Selma also shares insights into the power of a parent’s intention to do their best, and how to start making changes to ensure that your baby’s mental health is well taken care of. Take a listen to learn more about how to consistently communicate a sense of safety and security to your infant.   About Selma Bacevac:  Selma Bacevac is a licensed psychotherapist, mompreneur, national consultant and promoter of baby mental health. She is an expert on how attachment-related problems and developmental trauma affects infants and toddlers. She provides webinars, workshops, and online training to parents and professionals who want more information on this specific topic. Selma is the host of Raising Baby, a podcast devoted to helping parents and professionals understand the world from the baby’s perspective.   Some Questions I Ask: How did you find yourself working in the niche of infant mental health? (4:50) What is infant mental health? (6:49) How does a baby perceive that they are not safe and secure? (7:36) What does a secure attachment look like? (14:17) How does developmental trauma impact mental health and physical health? (42:04) How can parents start to shift things for the better? (49:20)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: How focusing on baby mental health affects experiences in adulthood. (3:23) How babies retain memories from in utero. (8:13) What the signs are of a baby experiencing the world from a place of survival over learning. (12:05) Why it’s vital to empower those about to become parents. (22:16) How your brain changes the minute you decide you want to become a parent. (31:41) The difference between self-control and self-regulation. (38:41)   Resources: Selma Bacevac’s LinkedIn Infant & Toddler Mental Health 101 Webinar Parent-Child Relationship Institute Raising Baby Podcast with Selma Bacevac

Grief is an expression of love for someone who isn’t here anymore. Experiencing the loss of a loved one is one of the most challenging parts of being human. When that loss is unexpected or happens in an “unnatural” order, the grief takes a different kind of toll on the person. All grief is complicated, but the loss of a child or loss as a result of a tragedy makes grief just that much more complicated. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Sonya Lott about her work as one of the only clinicians in Philadelphia trained in evidence-based treatment for complicated loss. We discuss how grief affected her and eventually transformed her life; what makes someone vulnerable to this type of grief; and what this treatment involves. Take a listen to learn more about how to help others experiencing complicated grief and reconstruct your own identity after experiencing it yourself. About Dr. Sonya Lott is a Clinical Psychologist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She is one of only two mental health clinicians in Philadelphia trained in Complicated Grief Therapy. Helping individuals to transform their experiences of pre-death, acute, and complicated grief. Dr. Lott obtained advanced training from The Center for Complicated Grief at Columbia University, in Complicated Grief Therapy. She has recently launched CEM Psych LLC, which offers continuing education and multicultural competence for mental health professionals, approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. She is also the host of The Reflections on Multicultural Competence podcast.   Some Questions I Ask: What drew you to working in the area of therapy around complicated grief? (2:29) When you say, “complicated grief,” what do you mean? (9:08) Are there types of loss that make an individual more vulnerable to complicated grief? (13:20) What are some words of support that you have for those who have lost someone? (34:11)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: How grief manifests itself long-term. (5:33) Why people get “stuck” in the grief process. (9:42) Common types of deaths that put people at risk for complicated grief. (13:55) How complicated grief impacts various areas of life and relationships. (18:50) What complicated grief therapy realistically looks like. (24:44) How to learn more about complicated grief. (37:02)   Resources: Center for Complicated Grief Grief Steps for Parents Dr. Sonya Lott’s Website Continuing Education in Multicultural Psychology

It’s important to revisit those strategies and elaborate, and that becomes a part of your identity. When you sit down with your family around the dinner table, the storytelling begins. Have you ever noticed who is doing the storytelling? Typically, women and mothers in families are the ones who tend to elaborate and go in-depth with their storytelling, while men oftentimes may be more reserved with their explanations. The ways that families reminisce and dialogue about their lives have a significant impact on how children develop their adult identities. Humans are storytelling creatures, but when men are not supported in developing their storytelling muscles, it can lead to lost pieces of their identities. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jared DeFife about his work as a clinical psychologist. When we begin, we discuss his interest in supporting men who deal with rejection sensitivity, depression, and more. Specifically, we discuss how these experiences take on different characteristics in men than women, and how storytelling may impact men’s ability to connect with himself and heal.  Take a listen to learn more about how to put yourself back in the author’s seat and regain your narrative identity. About Dr. Jared DeFife: Dr. Jared DeFife is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He’s also an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Science at the Emory University School of Medicine. Jared is passionate about helping “intense” people integrate interpersonal and personality-focused therapies drawing from schema-focused and mentalization-based therapies into their lives. Some Questions I Ask: What’s the template for the type of clients you attract? (11:32) Do you think it’s hard for men to respond to depression screeners? (15:06) When does the narrative disappear for men? (20:05) How does one begin to re-author their life? (31:23) What resources would you recommend for learning more about this? (52:47)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: About Jared’s work with men who experience rejection sensitivity and depression. (2:53) How Jared transformed his approach as a therapist to connect with and reach men. (10:45) How depression manifests itself differently in men and women. (11:52) How language use and narratives impact how men perceive their struggles. (16:09) What different types of emotionally unavailable men look like. (32:19) What tools Jared uses to help men become the authors of their own stories again. (36:02)   Resources: Jared Defife’s Website I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Terrence Real The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes Deepening Psychotherapy with Men by Fredric Rabinowitz Deepening Group Psychotherapy with Men by Fredric Rabinowitz Under Saturn’s Shadow:  The Healing and Wounding of Men by James Hollis

“Character is fate.” - Heraclitus   United we stand. Divided we fall.   The United States is becoming an increasingly divided country with each day that goes by. The idea of what American culture and values are changes, depending on where you are on the party line.   In this episode, Michael Gellert discusses the newly-revised edition of his compelling book, The Fate of America, which explores the national character of the United States against the backdrop of its history, popular culture, and media.   Listen in as Michael explores the development of the American heroic ideal; how it reflects the nation’s aspiration towards greatness and its sense of identity; as well as its connection to the country’s deepening divisions; increase in societal challenges; and erosion of vital institutions.    Take a listen to learn about citizen- and enemy-oriented heroism; where you’re located among these ideals; and what is being called upon us now.   About Michael Gellert:   Michael Gellert is a Jungian analyst, practicing in Los Angeles and Pasadena, CA. He was formerly the Director of Training at the C.G. Jung Institute of Los Angeles, where he is currently a research instructor. He’s also a humanities professor at Vanier College, Montreal, and a lecturer at Hunter College of the City University of New York. Michael has a Master’s degree in religious studies and social work and studied with Marshall McLuhan at the University of Toronto. He’s a mental health consultant for the University of Southern California and TIME Magazine.   Some Questions I Ask: What is America’s national character? What does that reveal about challenges we face? (4:13) Can you share about the Principles of Youth and Authority? (19:44) How has America’s heroic ideal gone awry? (33:37) What does the death-rebirth cycle mean for moving forward in America? (46:46)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: What the different types of heroism in America are. (6:30) What happens when society loses sight of citizen-oriented heroism. (15:28) Why the divide of the Spirits of Youth and Authority brings out the worst in both sides. (23:03) How division dehumanizes the “Other.” (28:46) America’s addiction to innocence (37:58) The individual’s responsibility in relation to participating in society. (49:06)     Resources: The Divine Mind by Michael Gellert Modern Mysticism by Michael Gellert America’s Identity Crisis by Michael Gellert Michael Gellert’s Website

In celebration of Father’s Day, Women In- Depth is looking back at some of our previous episodes focusing on men and masculinity. Episode 86: Reflections on Fatherhood in the 21st Century with Sean Fitzpatrick, PhD, LPC Sean Fitzpatrick, PhD, LPC, the Executive Director of the Jung Center in Houston, spoke with me about what it means to be a father and how the presence, or lack thereof, of a father influences one’s life. Episode 40:  The Secrets Men Carry with James Hollis, PhD James Hollis, PhD, a licensed Jungian analyst in private practice in Washington, D.C., joined us to discuss why it’s important to share the secrets of men; the pressure men face from being evaluated by their ability to produce; and how men long for a positive connection with their fathers. Episode 77: Manhood, Masculinity, & Meaning with Boysen Hodgson Boysen Hodgson is the Communications and Marketing Director for the ManKind Project USA, a nonprofit mentoring and training organization that offers powerful opportunities for men’s personal growth at any stage of life. He talked with me about the meaning of masculinity, why it matters, and why the biggest journey a man can take is the 18 inches from his brain to his heart.

“It is across racial lines, socioeconomic status, religious beliefs, and the like. This is not a phenomenon that just occurs to a certain person that looks and dresses and behaves a certain way.”   Introduction:   When everything builds up inside, managing emotions can oftentimes feel impossible.   As children grow, oftentimes there’s no one to teach them how to manage their emotions. For those with the trait of high sensitivity and/or those who experienced trauma, sometimes the way that they learn to cope, manage, or maintain their overwhelming emotions is through self-harm.   Self-harm is a subject that is riddled with misconceptions and negative judgments.  In this episode, I talk with Vena Wilson about why people self-harm, and together we dispel some of those myths.   Vena deepens our understanding as to why women engage in this type of coping mechanism. She also shares her insights into what causes the emotional state that pushes individuals into self-harming tendencies, and what to do when someone you love struggles with this topic.   Take a listen to learn how to identify self-harm, support a loved one, or spark the healing process for yourself.    About Vena Wilson:   Vena Wilson is a licensed clinical social worker who provides psychotherapy services to children, teenagers, and adults. She is the owner and operator of Honey Bee Behavioral Health. She works to assist individuals and families in creating healthy, adaptive, and well-functioning relationships. With this, Vena also helps clients see their concerns through a different lens: she provides information on how trauma effects the functioning of various parts of the brain. She teaches strategies that allow them to take suicide and self-harm off the table as an option to release overwhelming emotions.   Some Questions I Ask: How did you come to work with women who self-harm? (3:48) What happens that causes this emotional state? (17:40) What other myths or misconceptions are there around self-harm? (25:10) What are ways to support a loved one who self-harms? (28:52) What words of wisdom would you share with someone who self-harms? (33:04)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: What self-harm looks like. (7:06) How emotional deregulation affects the brain and presents itself in day-to-day life. (12:26) About the trait of high-sensitivity and how it manifests itself. (21:08) What to do and not to do when a loved one discloses that they self-harm. (29:11) How to choose a therapist that will fit your specific needs. (34:21)   Podcasts that Discuss Dialectal Behavior Therapy Strategies, Managing Overwhelming Emotions, and Other Helpful Tidbits: Charlie Swenson: To Hell and Back Vena M. Wilson: The Honey Be Podcast   Practical/Helpful Reads on Validation, Mindfulness, Managing Overwhelming Emotions: I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. Sorensen Calming the Emotional Storm: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life by Sheri Van Dijk Freedom from Selfharm: Overcoming Self-Injury with Skills from DBT and Other Treatments by Kim Gratz   Books for Clinicians: DBT® Skills Training Manual, Second Edition by Marsha M. Linehan Doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A Practical Guide (Guides to Individualized Evidence-Based Treatment) by Kelly Koerner Nonsuicidal Self-Injury (Advances in Psychotherapy: Evidence-Based Practice) (Advances in Psychotherapy - Evidence-Based Practice) by E. David Klonsky Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician’s Guide by Lisa Ferentz Treating Self-Injury: A Practical Guide by Barent W. Walsh   For Parents and Caregivers: Parenting a Teen Who Has Intense Emotions: DBT Skills to Help Your Teen Navigate Emotional and Behavioral Challenges by Pat Harvey The Power of Validation: Arming Your Child Against Bullying, Peer Pressure, Addiction, Self-Harm, and Out-of-Control Emotions by Karyn D. Hall When Your Daughter Has BPD: Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder by Daniel S. Lobel   Other Resources: Vena Wilson’s LinkedIn Honey Bee Behavioral Health   To Donate: https://lourdesviado.com/donate/

“Mythology and storytelling are age-old methods of passing along wisdom, sharing experience, and explaining or teaching about life.” Learning to trust your intuition, feelings, and dreams is a powerful experience.                                With all the stories and lessons told to children today, our society does not seem to support the notion that women should learn to trust their intuition. This is a meaningful lesson for any woman, whether she’s a Maiden, Mother, or Crone. This is a lesson that is truly universal. In this episode, I talk with Janet Lucy about her new children’s book Mermaid Dreams. This book encompasses many missing lessons from today’s children’s literature, while also depicting the connection between mother and daughter. Janet also tells the powerful story of goddesses and how goddess mythology illuminated her ideas within the book. Take a listen to learn Janet’s new book Mermaid Dreams and how this story passes along universal wisdom to women. About Janet Lucy: Janet Lucy is an award-winning writer and poet, most notably the book Moon Mother, Moon Daughter: Myths and Rituals that Celebrate a Girl’s Coming of Age. She earned her master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from Antioch University. She’s also the founder and director of Women’s Creative Network, which is a consulting business utilizing intuitive, creative, and professional development through writing. She is passionate about the connection between mothers and daughters and how mythologies and stories coincide with the universal truths that women experience. Some Questions I Ask: What inspired you to write Mermaid Dreams? (3:14) What is the significance of the Mermaid to you? (7:17) How does the story in Mermaid Dreams depicts the connection between mother and daughter? (12:46) What coming-of-age concepts does Mermaid Dreams address? (14:15) In This Episode, You Will Learn: About the story of the African goddess Yemaya. (9:12) How the power to change your dreams coincides with the power you have over your psyche. (15:03) How Janet’s book teaches children to go within themselves and learn to trust their inner voice. (18:00) How Janet’s books apply to all women. (20:54) How women’s internalized beliefs can manifest into the basis of fear. (25:15) Resources: Episode 91: The Heroine’s Journey: The Call to Transformation Episode 95: Mothers, Daughters, Myth & Moon: Rituals to Honor a Girls’ Coming-of-Age Janet Lucy’s Website Janet’s Books Women’s Weekly Writing Groups Women’s Creative Network

“We all have blind spots. We all have pitfalls and life terms. Part of the therapy process is about gaining insight and awareness of what those traps and what those lenses are and seeing that this is a recurrent theme that happens for you in your life.” (24:49)   Introduction: Some people look like they truly have it all. Great job, great family, and the drive to keep moving toward success. Oftentimes, in those who look like they have it all together, they are actually coping with a personality trait called rejection sensitivity. On the surface, rejection sensitivity looks like intrinsic motivation and perfectionism. The deeper you go, rejection sensitivity looks like isolation, anxiety, and intensity.  In this episode, I talk with Dr. Jared DeFife about rejection sensitivity. Together, we talk about where this personality trait originates, what it looks like, and how people can work with rejection sensitivity rather than allowing it to have control over every action and relationships. Jared also shares insight into the role that rejection sensitivity plays in his own life, and why blending insight and awareness of this trait is essential to learning to thrive professionally and interpersonally. Take a listen to learn about how to turn rejection sensitivity into a superpower-like trait and improve the lens through which you see the world along the way. About Dr. Jared DeFife: Dr. Jared DeFife is a clinical psychologist in private practice. He’s also an adjunct assistant professor in the Department of Psychology and Behavioral Science at the Emory University School of Medicine. Jared is passionate about helping “intense” people integrate interpersonal and personality-focused therapies drawing from schema-focused and mentalization-based therapies into their lives. Some Questions I Ask: What is rejection sensitivity? (3:34) How does rejection sensitivity show up in a personality? (7:35) How can someone determine if they have rejection sensitivity? (19:47) How can someone work with rejection sensitivity rather than let it take over their lives? (23:06) How can people learn more about this trait? (35:37) In This Episode, You Will Learn: How people develop rejection sensitivity. (5:16) Why high rejection sensitivity often gets mislabeled as narcissism. (13:43) How rejection sensitivity differs from high sensitivity. (22:30) How schema therapy approaches taking action on high rejection sensitivity. (28:44) How rejection sensitivity exposes various modes within the personality. (31:00) Resources: Rejection Sensitivity Questionnaire Don’t Take it Personally! by Elayne Savage Reinventing Your Life by Jeffrey E. Young Brené Brown Jared’s Website

“Safety primes neuroplasticity: a sense that as you move through this, you’re okay and you’re safe.”  Introduction:   When was the last time that you experienced letdown, hurt, or even a traumatic event?   How did you rebuild yourself and your life after the event?   A significant part of the human condition is experiencing negativity in our environment, then that energy infiltrates itself into the brain. Brains tend to have a negativity bias. This means that one negative response from another person has more power over our minds than all the positive interactions within that same relationship. Whenever this happens, life and relationships must be rebuilt, no matter how small or large the damage was.   This is resilience. While resilience is largely an innate skill, it’s still possible to build it and strengthen it through various exercises and strategies.   In this episode, Linda Graham talks about how to build and strengthen resilience. She shares some deep insight into the wiring and functioning of the brain when stimulated with negativity, and how to learn to bounce back. Linda also shares how therapists and non-therapists alike can implement various strategies, mindsets, and somatic tools to refine the skill of resilience as well.   Take a listen to Linda’s thoughtful and practical strategies, tips, and tools to bouncing back into life.   About Linda Graham:  Linda Graham is a psychotherapist and award-winning author. She is passionate about guiding people on reliable paths of personal growth, self-transformation, and building relationships. Her professional specialty areas include helping reverse the impact of stress and trauma, cultivate mindful awareness, and ultimately recover a sense of resilience. Within her private practice, she integrates modern neuroscience, mindfulness practices, and relational psychology into her international trainings on resilience and wellbeing.   Some Questions I Ask:   How would you define resilience? (4:59)  How does our brain’s capacity to respond to stressors become derailed? (6:53)  Why is it difficult to develop resilience? (12:00)  How can we address the brain’s negativity bias? (19:05)  What are the 3 Levels of Disruption, and 5 Intelligences? (21:20)  Where should someone start with finding relief and building resilience? (27:10)    In This Episode, You Will Learn:   Why individuals respond differently to the same stressors. (4:23)  Where an individual’s resilience originates and how to install new circuitry that increases the capacity for resilience. (7:22)  How resilience is strengthened through post-traumatic growth. (15:41)  How somatic tools help calm the mind and enter back into a space of resilience. (17:10)  How practicing positivity shifts the functioning of the brain into more receptivity and resilience. (19:14)  What therapists can integrate into their practices from Linda’s book. (29:13)    Resources:   Resilience: Powerful Practices for Bouncing Back from Disappointment, Difficulty, and Even Disaster by Linda Graham  Bouncing Back by Linda Graham  Linda’s Website 

How do you respond to the word trauma? Sometimes, those who experienced trauma reject even the term itself. Instead of acknowledging it and starting the healing process, survivors often minimize their experiences. When this happens, sometimes both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms are normalized for them, as well. Childhood trauma is specifically difficult to deal with and conquer the lasting effects of. It’s oftentimes buried deep within and oftentimes has a silencing effect on the person and they grow into adulthood. This world of silence inhibits their behavior, mindset, and various aspects of life. This is where therapy is needed. Even if the trauma happened 20 or more years ago, it’s never too late to heal. You can always take steps toward healing that trauma no matter how long ago it was. In this episode, I talk with Amy Van Slambrook. She shares some deep insight into the specific behaviors and tendencies that survivors demonstrate, how to identify them, and how a partner may be able to assist in the healing process. She also shares some beautiful, impactful words of wisdom for any survivors listening to this podcast today. Take a listen to Amy’s moving story and take one step closer toward breaking the silence. About Amy Van Slambrook Amy Van Slambrook is a licensed psychotherapist, certified life and workplace coach, experienced consultant, and writer. She is passionate about the work she does and compassionately interacts with her clients. Amy has overcome significant hurdles in her life—her own journey and healing from real life struggles, wounds, and trauma. She was able to spark the healing process in herself through the best training ground available. This experience is one that solidified her vocational calling: to help others—especially women and couples—experience freedom, heal and gain the power from their past. Some Questions I Ask: How were you drawn to this work? (3:13) Could you share a couple of examples of what trauma looks like? (21:07) What can you see or hear that demonstrates how trauma is impacting relationships? (29:40) How can the partner of a trauma survivor love and support their partner? (36:29) What words of wisdom do you have to offer trauma survivors? (40:22)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why trauma survivors minimize experience and normalize their coping behaviors and experiences. (7:25) How childhood trauma ripples to affect adult relationships and behaviors. (12:03) How trauma reveals itself in the body rather than through language. (14:50) Why trauma survivors are generally calm in crises situations. (18:18) Why survivors get stuck in a cycle of trauma. (26:13) How men often suffer in silence as a result of childhood abuse. (39:36)   Resources: Daniel G. Amen The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D. Soul-Healing Love by Dr. Tom Rodgers and Dr. Beverly Rodgers   Connect with Amy: Website Facebook Instagram

“As human beings, we are meant for connection.“ I see you. I believe you. Sometimes, those are the exact words that survivors of sexual assault and violence need to hear. Genuinely affirming a survivor’s experiences, feelings, and responses are the first steps to entering into a space that the survivor has never let anyone else into before. Oftentimes, those who experience trauma seem to have lost touch. Sometimes they appear checked out, forget to eat, and even lose their spatial awareness. On the other end of the spectrum, some survivors become hypervigilant and notice everything: the way someone holds himself when he walks into a room, small changes in expression or energy, and anything else. In this episode, Robert Cox talks about this subject. He provides insight into the various responses that survivors have to their environment and new relationships. Robert discusses the importance of sitting in that vulnerable space with a survivor, listening to them, and helping them rewire their brains back to a healthy state. Take a listen to learn more about how Robert Cox uses somatic exercises and active listening skills to help trauma survivors begin living once again. About Robert Cox, LPC: Robert Cox is a licensed professional counselor in Missouri and owner of Life Recovery Counseling. He specializes in trauma, addictions, and autism. He works extensively with survivors of sexual abuse, trafficking, and childhood trauma. One of his main focuses, too, is mindfulness training to help patients create their own pathways to emotionally regulate through the difficult processes of trauma recovery. Resources: Life Recovery Consulting Website Mindful Recovery Podcast The Life Recovery Method: Autism Treatment From A Trauma Perspective by Robert Cox

“The feminine is about the connection among all things.” Where are you in life? Where are you headed? Traditionally, there have been four faces of femininity: Maiden, Mother, and Crone. These archetypes define the feminine mindset: wants, needs, and what is required for fulfillment. Our culture places a certain value on each of these stages. Oftentimes, this value is based on desirability rather than one’s personal desires. Traditionally, femininity is overwhelmingly undervalued. Now, that’s beginning to change. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Anita Johnston. She breaks down all three of these archetypes and adds in a fourth: the Queen. Anita explains each stage, what it means, and even includes some of her own personal experiences within each stage. Together, we discuss the social value placed on each individual stage, and how those values are swiftly transforming today. Take a listen to learn more about the true value in your past, present, and future self in relation to your sacred femininity.   About Dr. Anita Johnston: Anita Johnston is a clinical psychologist and a certified eating disorder specialist and supervisor. She has done some incredible work in the field of women’s issues and eating disorders for the last 35 years. In Guam, where she was raised, she experienced life in a matriarchal culture. She experienced the power and value of femininity, which shaped her worldview and desire to help others.  Currently, Dr. Anita Johnston is the clinical director of Ai Pono Hawaii Eating Disorder programs. She is also co-creator of The Light of the Moon Café, which is a series of online, interactive courses, women support circles, and soul hunger workshops. Additionally, she is also the author of the bestselling book Eating in the Light of the Moon.   Some Questions I Ask: What drew you to focus on and create the four faces of the sacred feminine? (3:53) What do you mean by the sacred feminine, divine feminine, and psyche? (5:09) What exactly are the four faces? (10:52) How do the roles of the Maiden and the Mother interplay? (19:34) What do healthy and unhealthy displays of the Mother archetype look like? (23:58)   In This Episode, You Will Learn: About Anita’s childhood within a matriarchal culture. (4:04) How the feminine archetypal energy crosses culture and time. (5:26) Why awareness can lead to valuing feminine archetypes. (10:22) How archetypes are demonstrated through fairy tales and in reality. (11:01) About the Maiden, Mother, Queen, and Crone archetypes. (13:46) How the flipping priority of desires to desirability impacts self-esteem. (15:45) About the struggle of balancing your own needs with another’s needs. (19:52) Why the Queen seeks to fulfill the soul. (29:56) How the Crone functions as a bridge between the material and spiritual worlds. (34:53)   Resources: Episode 59: Cracking the Hunger Code Through Storytelling and Metaphor Dr. Anita Johnston’s Website Eating in the Light of the Moon by Dr. Anita Johnston Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk New Crescent Moon Course with Dr. Anita Johnston Tour of Light of the Moon Café  

In this episode of Women In-Depth Dr. Viado speaks with Gary Alexander about the experience of therapy through the lens of depth psychology. Gary shares how he was drawn to depth psychology; how it informs his life and the work he does with clients. He also explains how symptoms are not necessarily the problems we think they are, but messengers from psyche (soul). Gary Alexander has been practicing psychotherapy for over 15 years. He has a BA in Psychology and MS in Counseling from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas; and completed his doctoral course work at Pacifica Graduate Institute. Originally from Las Vegas, Gary now practices full time in Portland, Oregon. He also teaches graduate counseling students and supervises post-graduate counseling interns. Gary works with a wide array of issues for individuals and couples, infidelity, chemical and behavior addictions, co-dependency and the health and development of the sexual minority community. To keep up with Gary: https://www.portlandtherapycenter.com/therapists/gary-alexander https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-alexander-2b591526/ https://www.facebook.com/GaryDAlexander

“The way I can get love is by being what other people need me to be. Being the good girl. Being the one that is quiet, the one that is well behaved …” Welcome to this week’s episode of Women In Depth! Today we speak with Dr. Ashlee Greer, who is gracing us with a second visit after appearing on episode 76. In this episode Dr. Greer enlightens us to the idea of control and co-dependency; something she believes about 80% of our culture, particularly women, suffer from. Dr. Greer teaches highly-sensitive, empathetic women to live a “hell yes!” life. Her clients learn that the hero they’ve been waiting for is them. We can change. And beyond these ideas, she teaches her clients about boundaries, sacrifice, expectations, and soon in her new book she discusses “affectionate non-attachment.” Ashlee Greer has her Ph.D. in psychology, is powerfully psychic, and has over a decade of experience helping hundreds of people transform to feeling passionate, vibrant, fulfilled, and joyful. To keep up with Dr. Ashlee Greer: https://www.ashleegreer.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-4UPDzBse1kbQrw-YuLF9Q https://www.facebook.com/ashlee.greer.1111

“Romantic relationships above all other forms of relationships seems to be where the deepest and most intense struggle presents itself.” For our Valentine’s Day episode, we have our 100th episode guest back again: Dr. Stacey Shelby! In this week’s episode, Dr. Stacey Shelby describes the psychology of romantic love from a depth psychological perspective. Using the Greek myth of Eros and Psyche as a lens for understanding the meaning and purpose of romantic love, she describes how Psyche’s experiences parallel our own responses to romantic love; and deepen our understanding of how the inevitable challenges of romantic love summon us into intimate relationship with our inner selves. Dr. Stacey Shelby is an author, speaker, educator and depth psychotherapist. She holds a Master’s and Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with a specialization in Jungian and Archetypal Studies. She teaches the psychology of romantic love at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California. Dr. Shelby works with adults in various stages of personal transformation online and in person out of a thriving clinical practice in Squamish, British Columbia. She specializes in the symbolic language of the soul and aims to honor the soul as it presents itself in the lived experience of daily life. To Keep up with Dr. Stacey Shelby: http://drstaceyshelby.com/ https://www.facebook.com/DrStaceyShelby https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-stacey-shelby-ph-d-rcc-8b249560/ https://twitter.com/stacey0shelby

“I think a lot of times part of the reason we’re able to self-sabotage so easily is we really don’t own our goals. We don’t really own that picture of what we want our life to look like. We kind of keep it vague. As a result, we can’t really create that process to make changes because we don’t give ourselves any sort of timeline or specific picture of what we’re working towards.” This week’s episode of Women In-Depth we speak with Nicole Liloia, Business Coach and Strategist enlightening us on the career, business and life burnout so many women deal with on a constant basis. We have unknowingly become experts at sabotaging ourselves; whether in our careers, or personal lives. We will discuss several ways we sabotage, how to notice it and what to do in response to create a richer and more fulfilled life. Nicole Liloia earned her Master’s in Social Work at Columbia University before beginning a career in the non-profit sector. Nicole is both a life coach and a trained therapist. Now her passions are helping women entrepreneurs make more money and achieve their goals. Nicole began this path after a volunteer trip to Venezuela after suffering from burnout in her 9-5. Upon coming home Nicole began working at various part-time jobs and ended up starting her own practice only to fall back into the rigid 9-5 lifestyle she was trying to escape. She realized her own self-sabotage with this repetition and decided that she wanted to help other women entrepreneurs stop wasting time and start making more money. When Nicole is not busy helping her clients end their self-sabotaging ways she enjoys entrepreneurship, making women wealthier, Apothic Wines, and a good Taco Tuesday! To keep up with Nicole Liloia: https://nicoleliloia.com/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicoleliloia/ https://twitter.com/nicoleliloia References Mentioned: Assess Align Action: The Boss Guide to Goal Getting by Nicole Liloia

“We all are so different and it’s normal to be different.  It’s just a matter of finding the ways that help you optimize your sexual desire and have a sexual relationship that you want to have.” Many women experience diminished or decreased sex drive at one point or another in their lives.  However sex-negativity from our backgrounds, media, and society, can make these challenges difficult to discuss. With over half the population experiencing some version of sexual dissatisfaction, we can acknowledge that frank discussions surrounding sex and intimacy have the potential to drastically improve our overall well-being. Dr. Nazanin Moali has a Bachelor’s degree from the University of California, San Diego in biology and psychology, a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University. She specializes in working with couples and individuals struggling with issues of sex and intimacy. She also hosts a weekly podcast called Sexology in which she introduces listeners to the most intriguing findings in the psychology of sex.  She practices out of Torrance, California. To find more information about Dr. Moali, you may  visit: https://oasis2care.com/ https://twitter.com/oasis2care https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care/ http://www.sexologypodcast.com/ drmoali@oasis2care.com Other Resources: https://www.aasect.org/referral-directory Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire - Dr. Lori Brotto In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Dr. Moali discuss: Why one might seek a sex therapist Mindfulness and its influence on our sex lives Brakes and Accelerators: the dual control model of sexuality Self-image in sex  

“We become women of all seasons.” Our culture often associates negativity with aging. We dread what may come with age, despite mounting evidence that our worse fears are less likely than we think. Dr. Susan Stewart began examining this contradiction after encountering some rather heartening messages in myths, folktales, psychology, and gerontology that just encourage us to embrace and even look forward to the winter of our lives. Join Dr. Viado this week as she and Dr. Stewart discuss negative cultural messaging; the different dimensions of aging; and our lives in review. Dr. Susan Stewart has been a Professor of Psychology for over thirty years (now emerita) at Sonoma State University, and is a retired therapist and a grandmother to four. She earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology at the age 26 and was a Marriage and Family Therapist for many years. Her exploration of aging began in 2000 as she immersed herself into the myths and folktales after a series of encounters with the word crone. In place of the wicked and ugly portrayals she expected to find, she discovered some very inspiring old women.  She was compelled to share her discoveries after finding that gerontologists, psychologists, neuroscientists, and others were describing similar discoveries in late life development. She began to spread the word about the under-appreciated gifts of age in her classes, papers, presentations, and workshops. On the eve of turning 70, she completed Winter’s Graces: The Surprising Gifts of Later Life in which she weaves together folktales, themes from the world’s wisdom and spiritual traditions, current findings in gerontology and other fields, stories of her own and those of other older women, and characters of film - all of which reflect late-life qualities like contentment, agelessness, simplicity, and fierceness. When she’s not enjoying the company of her four grandchildren, singing, dancing or playing her cello, Susan continues to make presentations and offer workshops on the gifts of late life. She is most passionate about sharing the gifts of late life in a culture that mistakenly equates old age with debilitating decline. She has found that stories, along with recent research; visual images of elders; and the opportunity for participants to reflect on and share their own attitudes and experiences of aging, are a potent mixture. To find more information about Dr. Stewart: https://wintersgraces.com/ https://wintersgraces.com/blog/ https://www.facebook.com/susanaverystewart/     In This Episode, Dr. Viado and Dr. Susan Stewart Discuss: The True Story of the Crone The Winter of Life The Role of Elders in American Culture Changes in the Perception of Chronological Age

“To move toward that more wild feminine nature within the culture, and within our own psyches, and within the world...that wild feminine, it is so paradoxical and so confusing and it doesn’t want to be pursuing clarity and definition, it represents the opposite of that. It’s not an easy movement toward anything that represents that more lunar or feminine consciousness because it does mean a movement toward the uncertain and the unknown. It takes courage, a lot of courage.”   For the 100th episode of Women In Depth, we’ve returned to our roots in a discussion with Dr. Stacey Shelby about the wild woman archetype and her bewildering and beautiful manifestation in our lives.   Dr. Stacey Shelby is an author, speaker, educator and depth psychotherapist. She holds a Masters and Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with a specialization in Jungian and Archetypal Studies. She teaches the psychology of romantic love at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California. Dr. Shelby works with adults in various stages of personal transformation online and in person out of a thriving clinical practice in Squamish, British Columbia. She specializes in the symbolic language of the soul and aims to honor the soul as it presents itself in the lived experience of daily life.   To Keep up with Dr. Shelby: http://drstaceyshelby.com/ https://www.facebook.com/DrStaceyShelby https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-stacey-shelby-ph-d-rcc-8b249560/ https://twitter.com/stacey0shelby   In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Dr. Shelby discuss: The manifestation of the Wild Woman archetype Recovering what feels lost Navigating confusing changes in relationships and sexuality Marrying opposite archetypes within our psyche in pursuit of balance

"Of course we want pain to end, absolutely, but paradoxically, the fastest way to get through this is to get through it, is to be in it, to be with it...What we want to do is imagine that pain has a positive purpose, that there’s a reason that pain has shown up. It’s trying to show us something and in a sense, really, it’s a signal and it’s a messenger whether it’s emotional or physical, but it’s part of us trying to ask for help, it’s part of us - in this sense, it’s the feeling of us trying to heal something. It’s that part of us that says 'I need help, I’m out of whack here, I’m out of balance, you need to pay attention to me.'" 11.2% of American adults experience some form of pain, often at severe levels every day and have for the previous three months. A 2006 survey from the American Pain Foundation found that the vast majority of pain sufferers feel they have no control over their pain, that it severely impacts their quality of life, while 77% of the participants surveyed reported feeling depressed. Chronic pain can cause both mental health struggles, trouble in interpersonal relationships and feelings of powerlessness or and loss of identity. When Sarah Anne Shockley was diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, her entire life changed. Due to acute, chronic pain, she found herself fighting and enduring every day for years. What began as a battle became a journey of understanding and redefining pain for in the hopes of healing and ultimately living a fuller life. Sarah is the author of The Pain Companion: Everyday Wisdom For Living With and Moving Beyond Chronic Pain. She has been a columnist for Pain News Network and is a regular contributor to The Mighty. Sarah is a multiple award-winning producer and director of educational films, including Dancing From The Inside Out. She has also worked in high-tech management, as a corporate trainer, and teaching undergraduate and graduate business administration. She currently resides in the San Francisco Bay Area. In This Podcast, Dr. Viado and Sarah Shockley Discuss: Sarah’s experience with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome Experiencing pain in a pain avoidant society Changing our mindset to sit beside pain Viewing pain like a wounded animal How to support a loved one in pain Links https://www.thepaincompanion.com/ https://www.facebook.com/thepaincompanion https://twitter.com/thpaincompanion https://linkedin.com/in/sarahshockley Book http://a.co/0FrMWKp  

“It’s really about approaching ourselves with love and compassion and approaching the stuff with love and compassion. It’s not the enemy. There’s nothing wrong with the stuff, it’s just getting real with ourselves and going ‘Do I want to keep carrying this? Is it time?’” In a culture that simultaneously prioritizes materialism and organization, our accumulated belongings can become unmanageable. As she confronted stagnant energy in the form of her own clutter, Michael Spencer unearthed a new, soulful approach to the flourishing minimalism movement. Using her background as a mental health counselor, Michael developed and founded Let’s Purify, an online service dedicated to purifying our living spaces, personal energy, and the planet. Let’s Purify helps people release attachment to accumulated belongings and experience greater freedom. In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Michael Spencer discuss: The five components of home energy purification The difference between “purging” and energy purification Confronting sentimental objects and objects we feel we should be sentimental about Getting honest with ourselves about attachments to our objects Links: https://letspurify.energy/ https://www.facebook.com/letspurify/ https://www.instagram.com/letspurify/

“I have a body but I am also more than my body and you know, there’s this whole other rich world inside of me called the soul.” Jodie Gale’s work surrounding bodies and food began long before her training as a soul-centered psychotherapist, counselor and eating disorder therapist. Jodie’s path stems from her own recovery from bulimia, addiction and childhood interpersonal trauma. These days, Jodie works with women seeking to recover from body image problems, yo-yo dieting, chronic dieting and eating disorders from a soulful and holistic perspective. Jodie holds a BA of Social Work from University of Sydney, an MA in Psychotherapy from Middlesex University, and an Eating Disorder Coach Certification from the Carolyn Costin Insitute. Jodie practices counseling, psychotherapy, clinical supervision and private practice business coaching out of the Northern Beaches of Sydney, Australia and offers sessions via Skype. This week Jodie and Dr. Viado resume their conversation about disordered eating and recovery specifically through the lens of internal and external weight discrimination. To find more information about Jodie and her work, please see: https://jodiegale.com/ https://jodiegale.com/soul-sessions/ To find Jodie’s previous episode: https://lourdesviado.com/09-disordered-eating-a-search-for-wholeness-with-jodie-gale/

“We have, at best, sort of this view of technology as a benign thing in our lives. And at best, this kind of projection on technology, that it’s really what makes or breaks modern life...Most people are floored once they really do the tally and become more aware of how incredibly engaged they are and how incredibly time-consuming their personal electronics are in their lives.” As unique obstacles of modern times go, negotiating personal device use tops the list. The challenge becomes even more difficult as our children progress from early childhood into pre-teen and teen years and the issues of social media, video games and screen time escalate. Dr. Anders Beier is the co-founder and COO of the London-based non-profit The Centre for Technology Awareness. He also holds an MA in counseling from Pacifica Graduate Institute, Santa Barbara, CA and a Ph.D. in Jungian Studies from Saybrook University in San Francisco. He works with couples and individuals on treating depression, anxiety and life changes near Aspen, Colorado. This week Dr. Viado and Dr. Beier resume their discussion about technology, focusing specifically on navigating the complications of parenting in the information age; brain chemistry changes with technology use; and developing boundaries with personal devices for our kids and ourselves. To listen to Dr. Beier’s last conversation with Dr. Viado please see Episode 28: The Shadow of Technology: https://lourdesviado.com/28-the-shadow-of-technology-with-dr-anders-beier-lpc/ To keep up with Dr. Anders Beier, please visit: http://beiertherapy.com http://technologyawareness.org Other Resources: CDC’s Differences by Sex in Association of Mental Health With Video Gaming or Other Nonacademic Computer Use Among US Adolescents: https://www.cdc.gov/pcd/issues/2017/17_0151.htm Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain - Daniel Seigel: https://www.drdansiegel.com/books/brainstorm/ iDisorder Understanding Our Obsession with Technology and Overcoming Its Hold on Us - Dr. Larry Rosen: http://drlarryrosen.com/2011/03/idisorder

“Our relationships will mimic and reflect the relationship we had with our primary caregivers unless and until we become aware of what we’re doing.” Allison Quadhammer, M.S., D.C. is living a fine life and she has some insight on how you might too. Allison’s exploration of her own chaotic childhood led her to a master's degree in communications (the basis of healthy relationships), a doctorate in chiropractic (the basis of healthy bodies) and advanced training in neurology (the basis of healthy minds). During her journey, she came to understand how our perceptions, influenced by any number of elements, color the way we see the world. Allison believes that in rethinking our distorted perceptions, we may accomplish clarity and attain a fine life. Join us this week as Allison shares her perspectives on a Fine Life, the fallibility of memory, toxic friendships and relationships, and the power of chiropractic work as it relates to working through trauma! To learn more about Allison Quadhamer please visit: https://www.whatafinelife.com/ https://www.facebook.com/whatafinelife/

“I don’t know that we’re in a culture that supports a woman taking care of herself first, it’s really something that needs to be taught and I think probably the biggest thing that needs to be taught is self love and self compassion. I think we know how to be compassionate toward other people but I don’t think we know how to use compassion on ourselves, how to be kind to ourselves.” Dr. Deb Butler is a board certified chiropractor and acupuncturist, a certified nutritionist and master life and weight loss coach who helps women from all walks of life going through menopause end their struggle with weight. Dr. Deb Butler utilizes a blend of brain science, nutrition, physiology, life coaching and life lessons to help clients embrace real weight loss starting from the inside. When her lifelong struggle with her weight collided with the arrival of menopause, Dr. Deb realized how misguided her perception of both had been all along. Through research, courses and plenty of exploration, she has constructed a program to reframe how one views weight, balance and oneself. Join us this week as Dr. Deb shares how you can improve your weight and your life for good! You can learn more about Dr. Deb Butler at: https://drdebbutler.com/ https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/thinner-peace-in-menopause/id1097852666 https://www.facebook.com/drdebbutler/

“We have to be much more allowing of ourselves, allowing ourselves to try things out and make mistakes and that’s so crucial - Can we allow ourselves to make mistakes? And maybe use the mistakes to take us on a different journey?” Emma Cameron could reasonably be describing talk therapy or the practice of our creative energy but she is actually talking about both. How do we recover our creativity? How does the disconnection happen in the first place? How can we benefit from the practice of creativity in therapy and our lives? Join us this week as Emma discusses the role of creativity and creation in our journey toward self discovery. Emma Cameron is a registered Integrative Arts Psychotherapist based in Essex, England. She works in private practice and online with women who want to connect to their deepest creative self and heal from anxiety and trauma. Emma has a Masters degree in Integrative Art Psychotherapy and she is a HCPC registered Art Psychotherapist. Emma paints, draws and has been practicing art for many years. Through 2017 Emma’s work was featured in ‘Contemporary Masters from Britain’, an exhibition touring major art galleries in China; next year she will be exhibiting paintings in Poland and the UK. Learn more about Emma and her work at: www.emmacameron.com https://twitter.com/EmmaCameronArts https://www.facebook.com/emmacameronarts/