Podcasts about below the bible belt

In which the good ol' boys try not to get political, and it goes about as well as you'd imagine. James channels his inner Colin Hanks as he grapples with the darkness of the world, Matt channels his inner Jesse "The Body" Ventura in a search for the truth (about dots), and the two retail renegades match wits with a man dead set on breaking the strongest link of the whole retail chain. ET TU, OCTAVIO? Download Here, if ya please Links Florida Man has finally gone full supervillain.

NEW EPISODE. In which two whiny cucks are sore losers about the classiest election in history. SAD. Download Here, if ya please Links: "Democracy" By Leonard Cohen "Everything Is Okay Anyway" by George Carlin

In which the good ol' boys emerge from the shadow yet again for their season premiere, where they speculate on the then-upcoming election with the innocence of ignorance, Matt histories his way across America while it's still standing, James's home is destroyed forever on two non-consecutive occasions, and the guys look past the chaos of 2016 and into... the future. BELOW THE BIBLE BELT: THE ONE PODCAST WHERE EVERY EPISODE IS LACED WITH FOXDIE Download Here, if ya please Links: The most epic Quack Like A Duck of them all

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys welcome Alex back to the show for their season finale, leading to a revealing discussion of religion, deception, and Batman. James runs afoul of duplicitous damsels at the House of Savings, Matt runs afoul of Mr. Silverback and his Craigslist cronies, and Alex runs afoul of all national holidays, as he finally delves into his sordid past as a Jehovah's Witness, reveals the shocking secret of "The Good News", and discovers once and for all that Nihilism is an asshole. LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT FUNK... DROP THE FIRST RHYME. Music sampled: "We're All Going To Hell" by The Bastard Fairies www.bastardfairies.com Links: The Secret Origin of Jehovah What Jehovah says about wizards And just for fun, what Jehovah says about those wacky gays! "We're All Going To Hell" by The Bastard Fairies

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys encounter the seven deadly sins, deceptive country music stars in search of rhythm, and a dark future resting on the whims of soccer-playing automobiles, before going into the most sordid political scandal to rock Alabama since... well, the last sordid political scandal to rock Alabama. THE SUN IS COUNTRY, BUT THE ICE IS COUNTRY-WESTERN. Links: A timeline of the Mike Hubbard/Robert Bentley scandal. Nine straight minutes of the Yella Fella. You've been warned. And be sure to check out Supergirl Power Hour, a monthly look at the maid of might! Listen to it or Cori's gonna sock ya!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys welcome Fuss The Australian Matt back to the show to discuss yet another sojourn to the U.S. of A. Fuss traverses land and sea to find the lost city of Dunkin' Donuts, James dodges holiday mascots, and Matt gets a haircut. IF THIS SHOW IS SHIT, YOU MUST ACQUIT. Links: Decadence. Decadence pure and simple. And listen to me live-watch each episode of American Crime Story with Alex and Mike, on our show Pulp Nightmare!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys battle lawnmower men, debate the nature of time itself, and discuss a sad, dildo-filled moment in our nation's recent history. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN BULLSHIT. ANYTHING YOU BULLSHIT CAN AND WILL BE CALLED ON IN A A COURT OF BULLSHIT. Links: The story of Matt's LifeA timeline of the Oregon occupation Bundy 2: Escape From Dildopolous Music used: "Shaniqua (Don't Live Here No More)" by Little T and One-Track Mike

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys welcome their resident long-term college resident Merce' Mueller back to the show to talk about her recent excursion  to the snow-wastes of Alaska, before getting side-tracked by Golden Age crushes, a life-or-death showdown at LAX, a dubious correspondence with Warren Beatty, and aprons. #LAX: THE LUCKY DIED. THE DAMNED TWEET. Links: Bangladesh knows what's upBelt or Bullshit Story 1 Belt or Bullshit Story 2 Music used: "Lapdace" by N.E.R.D. (Nine Inch Nails Remix) "You Are My Love" by Yuki Kajiura

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys record their least-festive holiday episode yet, as James reenacts Memento with dog houses, Matt's love life is jeopardized by the Billy Elliot musical, the two get lost in corporate jargon, and one host abandons his career for the fast-paced world of internet salesmanship. DO MORE WITH LESS, BUT EXPECT LESS FROM MORE Links: The continuing adventures of... FLORIDA MAN This episode's outro music

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys welcome Designated Guest Host Alex Koch back to the show, as Matt continues his quest for love with the help of Michelle Obama, James spins a yarn about his formative years at a strip club flea market, a job interview turns profound for Alex, and things get real as they discuss the various supervillain plots currently threatening our country (America). PLUS: Even more Facts About Woodrow Wilson! CURSE YOU, FRIDGE-CURSE! Links:Alabama's War On Identification

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys exchange war stories from the front lines of southern living, as James witnesses a scorn lover's revenge at the house of savings, Matt becomes the first healthy adult to experience a Make-A-Wish day, and the two discover a story that has it all: romance, technology, chickens, and Liam Neeson. IT'S ALL IN THE PANTS Links:Pants: A History Chickens: A Journey Music song! "The President's Penis Is Missing" copyright The Drive-By Truckers

History Wins. Fatality. In a shocking turn of events, a victor in the fight between factual and fictional is claimed... and still, the show must go on! Following a lengthy absence, Konjectural Kombat returns with an all-new, all-different status quo that is sure to rock the foundations of how historically based fighting podcasts are made! The first casualty? One half of the show's very premise! But in it's place, a third konjecturalist is named - Below The Bible Belt's very own resident ballerina belligerent, James Lewis! But don't believe for a moment that the show's lost it's way, as The Historical Heathen unleashes a worthy challenge upon his newfound audience of two that's sure to be considered one for the ages: In one corner, reigning cyanide failure and luckiest assassin in the history of the world, Gavrilo Princep! In the other, the bane of Jack Ruby's existence and retired defector of the United States, Lee Harvey Oswald! Listen in as Professor Matt reveals their bizarrely parallel rise to infamy, the circumstances surrounding their moments of... triumph?, and perhaps the strangest ensuing battle in the history of the show! Apart, they are Matt, Alex, and James. Together? They are the new KONJECTURAL KOMBAT! You Gotta Download What You Gotta Download

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys **** up their own dramatic return two weeks late, but make up for it with an episode RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES (of the summer). Listen as Matt gets pulled back into the game, and uncovers the seedy underbelly of the South Carolina bass fishing world. Then also listen again as James debunks phrenology once and for all, and plays Buddha's Accountant to Matt's Devil's Advocate, while the two debate This Day In Gay History, and Colin Hanks is corrupted by the madness of the world. THIS PODCAST IS WEARING A WIRE! Links:History, Matt! We all learn it!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys rise from their Sanders-Sleep, and reclaim the dusty throne of podcasting once more! James crawls from the wreckage of two unrelated automotive catastrophes, Matt matches wits with an academic Frito Bandito, they discuss the sacred rights of the Manager's Club, and the next era of Below The Bible Belt begins with a dream... and a nation. WHAT A PODCAST! WHAT A LOVELY PODCAST!

Download Here, if ya please In which Matt, Alex, and a very, very, very, very, very sleepy James go on a bit of a strange tangent. ACTUALLY IT'S ABOUT ETHICS IN RIDDLING

Download Here, if ya please In which we time-trip a few months into the past, to visit the magical moment when universes collided and Cody Alft first met Merce' Mueller. Try to spot the Stan Lee cameo in this cross-over, as they talk unnecessary TV remakes, favorite chick flicks, Iron Man where Iron Man does not belong, and whether or not Merce's brother has some serious McConaughey feels. OKAY OKAY OKAY. LINKS: Still amazing after all these years. And this is still as baffling.

Download Here, if ya please In which Gravedigger James and Coffin Matt hop into their solid gold pimpmobile, battle Johnny Quest henchmen, and discover the hidden secret of Sanford & Son, as they watch Cotton Goes To Harlem. THIS IS BY FAR THE MOST LEISURELY LIFE-OR-DEATH PURSUIT I HAVE EVER WITNESSED LINKS: STAY FRESH with the power of Youtube!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys resume their Drive-In Summer with a commentary recorded many months ago but now UNSTUCK IN TIME. In perhaps their most southern outing yet, they grab their favorite sporting goods, plaster-up their faces for battle, and clean up the dirt roads of their mid-to-late 70's small town the only way they know how: By WALKING TALL. LINKS: WALK TALL with the power of Youtube!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys rage a two-man war against activist demi-god professors, suburban ninjas, and an entire dynasty of ducks, as they watch quite possibly the worst movie that has ever graced this show-- including Swamp Thing vs. The Wolfman-- God's Not Dead. WHY DO YOU HATE COMMENTARIES?! (Also, be sure to check out Pulp Nightmare's DUELING COMMENTARY, and judge for yourself which has the highest percentage of Hercules jokes)    LINKS: Watch this abomination through the Satanic force of Netflix!

In this edition of Pulp Commentary, our brains melt out our ears and we experience offensive B.S. the likes of which we've never seen before, as we enter a magical realm that exists only in the minds of these insane filmmakers. So, join us -- we guess -- because we're watching the bizarre propaganda film: GOD'S NOT DEAD. He totally is though, don't let the title fool you. Now, go and text everyone you know that 'Pulp's Not Dead!' (Also, head on over to our sister show Below The Bible Belt and listen to their DUELING COMMENTARY for God's Not Dead. Yes, we're giving you permission to cheat on us, but only as sloppy seconds)

“WEIRD AT LAST, WEIRD AT LAST. GOD ALMIGHTY, WEIRD AT LAST”- Cecil Palmer, Welcome To Nightvale Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys swab on the sunblock and scissor their pants into shorts, as they prepare to take the show's first ever summer break. Before they head out, though, they've invited two special guests to help end this first volume on a high note: The Unbreakable Merce' Mueller, and Cody "Once Bought a Sword-Cane Online By Accident" Alft. Together they discuss which co-host would win in a George R.R. Martin situation, what is and what is not soup (with shocking results), the quest for the perfect indoor volleyball court, the most terrifying revenge film ever conceived, the Aisle of Unreadable Books, social scofflawing, stoned businessmen, secret romance, cannibalism, Florida, and the proper system of organization for a DVD/Bluray collection. BELOW THE BIBLE BELT: TOO SOUTHERN TO BE REAL     LINKS: But why.

“Anger can be power. Did you know that you can use it?”- The Clash Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys ruin their dental work and flake on their court-appointed therapist, as they dwell on the beast that slumbers within us all. Count to ten as Matt snorts moon rocks to discover the joys of verse, James is spectator to a civil rights showdown of southern proportions, and the two of them miss the point of a humble-brag entirely. CHOO-CHOO, MOTHERFUCKER     LINKS: Chief Justice "Rudy" Roy Moore: Champion of statues, enemy of statutes Int his corner...And challenging.... And of course, Wild Bill's two confederate cents Screw the geezers! Get with the future, ya'll!

“Here's to another lousy millennium”- Phillip J. Fry Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys decide that THIS is the year, as they start 2015 off with a bum knee, a dungeon full of VHS tapes, and the perfect peanut butter-to-jelly ratio. Resolve to do better next time, as James gets academic apathy, Matt looks for love in all the wrong apps, and the two get to the bottom of another Midnight Detective Johnson mystery. I HAVE A RIGHT TO WALK THROUGH HUMAN EXCRIMENT. DON'T TREAD ON ME.     LINKS: This is the only Mountain Goats cover you will ever need to hear. Watch the whole thing. It is beautiful.

“One has a moral obligation to disobey unjust laws.”- The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys ring in Twenty-Oh-One-Five the only way they know how: by thumbing their nose at the laws of God and man! Listen as James dodges enlightenment on the dog treats aisle, defends Black Friday with his blood, and spends the Rapture sitting happily on the fence. Double-listen as Matt gets the 3 AM phone call this entire podcast has been building to, mocks the educational system he hopes to one day join, and tells us about the second-most terrifying hostage situation he's even been a part of. Then triple-listen as a personal mas sager once again drives two siblings to the brink of madness... and beyond. I BET HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE DUCK DYNASTY!     LINKS: The game is actually called "Altered Beast", not "Lord of Beasts", but I assure you it is EXACTLY as I described. Heidi Creamer Suspected Of Assaulting Twin Sister Over Sex Toy, Boyfriend

“To succeed in this world, you have to change all the time.”- Sam Walton Download Here, if ya please In which the boys once again welcome their not-so-special guest Alex "MB" Koch, who delights and enrages them with word of his harrowing escape from The House of Low Prices. What did he want with a motorcycle helmet?! Why the water noodle?! Why were the callgirls dressed as Batman?! Who will stop the rampage of Money MB?! And then Matt writes a history paper on a schizophrenic ventriloquist. MATT JENSEN: THE LAST MOUNTAIN MAN! COMING SOON TO A BOOKS-A-MILLION NEAR YOU. NOTE: Yeah, this episode's audio quality is for shit, but we were forced to use a back-up recording after a corruption in the main file replaced all of James's audio with an endless loop of high-pitched farting noises. That is not a joke. No. Really.    

"I aim to misbehave."- Captain Malcolm Reynolds Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys soil their family names and TP their reputations, as they get talk about two or three times they've actually misbehaved. Matt defiles his body with a memento of his beloved, James enters into a dark compact with a Child of The Nile, and the two spend entirely too much time recalling Not Another Teen Movie. SHOOT SHOOT. KISS KISS. WHITE WHITE. VOTE FOR ME.     Links: Tissuegate Part One Part Two Part Three Enter: Big Luther His Nemesis Enter: Hubbard The final reveal The gauntlet has been thrown down

"I got all the answers to your questions. I'll be the teacher, you can be the lesson"- Aloe Blacc Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys register themselves as sovereign nations and don't need their Moms telling them what to do, as they declare this day their Independence Day. Salute Matt as he drops the mic in History class, suffers the cruel tutelage of Professor PJ, and gets caught up in Dollar General intrigue with a dame to kill for, Meanwhile, James once again stumbles onto a dark conspiracy, involving shoes, wizards, Elvis, a possum, and a deep-fried minimum wage harem, as he struggles to answer the most elusive question of all... who REALLY knows what's going on? ATTENTION SHOPPERS: HE CAN TUNE. I REPEAT, WE HAVE ONE WHO CAN TUNE. "The Man" copyright 2013 Aloe Blacc Recording, Inc.    Links: How the handi-capable have fallen.

"The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you." - Leviticus 19:34 Download Here, if ya please In which one of the good ol' boys is laid up with some bullshit, leaving the g'day boy to pick up the burden, as James welcomes Matt Fuss back to the show as his special guest-host. After binging on season one of House of Cardboard, Aussie Matt tells tales of his journey to the Americas, the accursed voyage of decadence that nearly did him in, the strange sights and sounds awaiting travelers at The Carrot Top Cave, the dark secret of the Epcot Center, and the cleanest pair of dog balls there ever was. JUST KEEP SHOUTING AND WAVING YOUR ARMS. HIS ACCENT WILL FEEL THREATENED AND RETREAT. "Immigrant Song" from "Whole Lotta Blugrass: A Bluegrass Tribute to Led Zepplin", copyright Iron Horse, 2005 "Vegemite (The Black Death)" copyright Amanda Palmer, 2011    Links: The Bacon Bowl. Well, we had a good run, Planet Earth.

"For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it." - Ecclesiastes 7:12 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys throw on their mortarboards and inhale a lung-full of chalk dust, as they reminisce on their long-forgotten days in the public education system. Matt steps off his high horse of low prices long enough to stand idly by while the Dollar General Response Team performs a heroic rescue, James struggles to save a child from the grip of his dopplecreeper, and the two men are left forever shaken by a bond they never knew they had. SO THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE... WHEN DOVES CRY.    

Download Here, if ya please And then this happened.    

"Let me take you on a journey through my memory palace... "- The Book of Cody 4:6 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys aren't rid of their special guest yet, as they brace themselves for the encroaching amphibian onslaught with more Tales of Cody. Be sure to stay in line as you're taken on a guided tour through the most wretched domicile imaginable, a place where the laws of God and Man cease to exist, sinister St. Nicks lurk at every corner, and mason jars appear and disappear when they see fit. Will Cody learn to trust the fungus? What secret does the M.O.D.O.K. mug still hold? What REALLY happened to Sinbad's career? Some of these questions and more are answered in part two of the weirdest BtBB ever. HOW CAN YOU BE SO BLASE' ABOUT A BAG OF MANNEQUIN HEADS?!    Links: ... it's a really good movie.

"We appointed him an angel, We indeed would have made him a man, and We would have certainly caused them confusion in a matter which they have already covered with confusion "- The Quran, Surat Al-'An`ām, 6:3 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys welcome a very special guest to the show: A dark secret from James's past, a traveler from the distant land of Wisconsin, the last son of the Alft tribe, the #2 fan of President #11, the Frogmaster himself, Cody Alft. Furrow your brow in confusion as The Strange One befuddles our hosts with tales of the WereMcConaughey, runs an illicit smuggling operation at Summer Camp with tragic consequences, goes on an epic, cancerous journey for a smoking jacket, and reveals how our show saved his life, before our show immediately tries to kill him. Then there's the penny story. CURSE THIS M.O.D.O.K. MUG! NOTE: Cody recorded this episode while phasing between Earth and his home plane of Dimension-F, so instead of leaving a potentially awkward silence, each exit from our reality is signified by an ear-splitting tone, AS PER HIS INSTRUCTIONS.    Links: Join the M.O.D.O.K. Mug Club! Listen to more of Cody on Box Office Pulp! Check out his tumblr why you're at it! Or this other tumblr I made when I was bored one night. Okay I admitThis was weird

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys discover that I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, they are dudes, our ancestors are dudes, our descendants are dudes, we are all forever dudes in the flat circle of eternity, for today they are watching the philosophical sojourn of Keanan and Kel's Good Burger. WHYYY, GOD? WHY? WHY MUST SINBAD BE FORSAKEN?     Links: Relive your childhood through the magic of Netflix!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys discover they're part of a larger network... THERE WAS TOTALLY AN "ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK" MOVIE. REALLY. LOOK IT UP IT'S AWESOME.    

Download Here, if ya please Tonight for one commentary only: James "Steve" Lewis, Matt "Carl" Johnson, and T "Timothy" Money, facing off against Heaven's Demons and the Satanic Wrestling Alliance in a battle-royal of South Carolinian proportions! Judge who is Most Christly as you watch Wrestling For Jesus: The Tale of T-Money, an epic journey of faith, redemption, and lice combs. HE'S CRUCIFIED! HE'S CRUCIFIED! SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH! And for bonus stupidity, make sure you watch this one with the subtitles on! - Jammin' James     Links: Watch the full movie through the magic of Netflix!

Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. - Genesis 28: 15 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys are cast out of their homeland and forced to march down an arduous path to their other homeland, as the Johnson Family Migration reaches its conclusion. Matt sticks his nose too far into shady dealings at the local Five & Dime, James finds himself strung out, betrayed, and Catfished on two mutually exclusive occasions, and a once-in-a-lifetime offer leaves both speechless and afraid, as the tale of Shadow James erotically unfolds. Just who is the prettiest man is Alabama? The answer will SHOCK you. HEY BUDDY. WHAT UP? WHAT UP? WHAT UP? WHAT UP? WHAT UP? NOTE: The audio for this episode is some bullshit. We hang our hats in shame for this aural failure, and promise to make to up to 'ya.    

"Behold, the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud" - James 5:4 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys assemble the trinity once more, as Alex "MB" Koch joins Matt "Teach" Johnson, and James "Gamer Girl" Lewis, for a return to the most treacherous waters known to modern man: the job market! Fill out your resumes as James escapes from The GameStop on the Edge of Forever, Alex is targeted by Nature after seeing too much, and Matt begins the journey of a thousand miles with a single click. How many times can they interrupt Alex's story? How handsome must a man become to be above the law? Just how exactly does a one-armed man fish?! HERE LIES COOTCHIE-BUG, FATHER OF TIMBO (NOT TOMBO)     Links: Georgia Man Too Handsome To Be A Criminal

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys set fire to their stills and sweet-talk some sexy furniture, as they watch the hicksploitation inspiration for The Dukes of Hazzard, Moonshiners! DO YOU WANT US TO MAKE BABY BOTTLES? WE'RE BOSS HOGGS, BOBBY LEE.    Links: Watch the full movie through the magic of Youtube! And check this dude's book! Why not?

"The LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet"- Nahum 1:3 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys are waylayed by romance and technical difficulties, as they attempt to discuss SnowmageddonPocalypseGauntlet 2014, before being interrupted by genealogical revelations, illogical grocery lists, and even more technical difficulties. Matt reveals his secret fetish, James is devastated by a dearth of perspiration, and they both say goodbye to a dropper of bombs and funky lyrics. CURSE YOU, POEHLER VORTEX     Links: The Jiggy Jihad is over

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys lay down some beats to save their rec center, and hit every costume shop in town along the way. Join James "Boogaloo Shrimp" Lewis, and Matt "Matty Nice/Shabba-Doo/Sam Firstenberg" Johnson, as they watch Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo! TURBO, NO! WHO WILL DROP FUNKY FRESH NOW?     Links: Watch the full movie through the magic of Veoh!

"He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness" Deuteronomy 32:10. Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys throw off the shackles of American tyranny, throw another shrimp on the barbie, and throw on some extra-protective sunscreen to prepare for a journey to the radioactive waste of Australia. BTBB super-fan Matt Fuss join the boys to talk about his native land of 'Stralia. James butchers pronunciation while Matt tries to blow it out his clacker. With their magic guide, they learn the proper way to throw a boomerang, proper C-word etiquette, and the proper location for the next Dredd film. And a bonus! This show is also a tale of two Matts and two Jameses! While past Matt and James talk to Australian Matt through the magic of time travel, present day Matt and Replicon James carry on sexy banter and swap knowledge before humbling themselves before the one true God. ALL HAIL OVERLORD OPRAH!    

"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back" - Proverbs 29: 11 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys get their longjohns in a bunch, as they wag their fingers at the subject of outrage. Be filled with rightous indignation as they give the gift of moonshine, debate what, exactly, constitutes Gay Christmas, and struggle to uncover the mysteries of Jack Nicholson's house. James reveals the secrets of Dook Protocol Alpha, Matt wages war against Obama Bulbs, and the two vow to boycott Facebook at the behest of a wild man. WE GONE SQUATCHIN'     Links: Surprise! Dumping Facebook

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys overcome disability, fire their chair-mounted shotguns, and wage a two-man war against Those Who Walk, as they marvel at the handi-capable, two-fisted kung-fu assassin, The Amazing Mr. No Legs! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM YOU NEED... AMPUTATED? THEN THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN TO CALL.    Links: Watch the full movie through the magic of Youtube!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys dress like the elderly, use their flamboyant scarves as weapons, and come to terms with their Inner John Hurt, as they discuss The Day of The Doctor. NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER GIVE IN. NEVER RETURN FOR A SECOND SEASON.    

"They are conceited and understand nothing. They have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions" - 1 Timothy 6:4 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys narrowly avoid being side-lined by career-ending injuries, just in time to get tangled up in a web of lies, secrets, and cashews. Search for the truth as James takes a bullet for Lara Croft, Matt discovers how deep The Targét's tentacles spread, and a washed-up P.I. with nothing to lose comes out of retirement to take down... sheep? THIS BELONGS IN A MUSEUM, YA SUM'BITCH!     Links: Commissioner Freeman Jockisch Arrested Commissioner Joey Masters Arrested Commissioner Greg Smith Arrested... for WHAT? We Are Better Than That!!!!! - Dale Peterson for Commissioner Get Away From That! - Dale Peterson's Endorsement The Fall of Dale Peterson: Part 1 The Fall of Dale Peterson: Part 2Three men. Five arms. One town.

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ole boys step aside and let a special guest recite a special Southern-slanted rendition of an old Christmas standard. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, EXCEPT YOU, JOHNSON!    

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys follow the journey of a man out of time, out of luck, and out of his element. A lonely traveler striding down a road comprised entirely of dead ends, battling the hell-hounds at his feet and the hell-fire in his own heart. Listen to them recount the tale of this weary ronin, of the women he loved, the friends he lost, and the races he dragged, as they watch the Johnson family favorite, Grease. NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE PINK LADIES     Links: Find the one that you want through the magic of Netflix!

"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth "-Isaiah 54:4 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys honor the wrong milestone, as they spend their 20th episode exploring the defining attribute of southerners: pants-shitting terror in the face of the unknown. Comfort your inner child as Matt derails an international spin-off, James discovers his destiny as The Chosen Ballerina, and they confront the two most charismatic conspiracy theorists the south has ever produced. Besides themselves, of course. DON'T DO THIS TO ME. DON'T DO THIS TO MEEEEE--     Links: Wild Bill vs. Feminists Wild Bill vs. Liberals Wild Bill vs. THE ULTIMATE EVIL

Download Here, if ya please In honor of the good Doctor's 50th Anniversary, here's a little snippet of a conversation between the good ol' boys from a few months ago, just before the announcement of Peter Capaldi as the 12th. The audio quality's a bit shaky, but since Matt was recording from THE FRONT LINES OF THE TIME WARS, it's relatively decent. TONIGHT... WE'RE CANCELLING SPACE AND TIME!    

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys turn against the air itself and suffer the wrath of The Griffinor, as they watch the 70's TV horror classic Swamp Werewolf Sheriff Gator Assassin, P.I. Or something like that. ANTON ARCANNNNNNNE!!!     Links: Watch...this thing... through the magic of Youtube!

"Women should remain silent in the churches"1 Corinthians 14:34 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys suck in their guts and comb their hair, as they welcome Off-Panel's resident skirt, Merce' Mueller, to discuss her terrifying and vaguely offensive adventures down south. Crotchet yourself something nice as James discovers the majesty of a ceremonial mashed potato bar, Matt loses a bride but gains a franchise, Merce' finds herself awash in a black miasma of illicit confectionery, and the truth of our President's heritage is revealed at last. STORMY MUELLER, P.I., IN: THE BRIDE WORE SUSPENDERS.     Links: Funeral for hero dog conceals Obama's hidden canine agenda

Download Here, if ya please In time for Halloween, comes something so funky it's scary! Not a ghost or a goblin, but a brand new commentary! The boys are gonna get the smack off the streets and knock the socks off your feet, when they go back to the 70's, back to times much hotter, rhymin' up something funky... as they watch the Disco Godfather! PUT YO WEIGHT ON IT PUT YO WEIGHT ON IT PUT YO WEIGHT ONNN IT PUT YO WEIGHHHHT ON IT PUT YO WEIGHT ON IT     Links: Watch "Disco Godfather" through the magic of Netflix! Trust us... you'll want to see this.

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys revisit the Sports conversation, as they pin down the most southern sport of them all. Matt discovers a dark chapter in his family history, James uncovers dark doings at the Johnson Ranch, and a young boys faith in kayfabe is shattered forever. WELCOME TO OZ! WELCOME TO OZ WELCOME TO OZ     Links: The IllumiMatty Revealed Inside the Johnson Ranch A look back on Jerry-Curl Johnson and his Rock n' Roll Man The Greatest Wrestling Promo of All Time

Download Here, yo In which them good ole boys get emotional, get an M60, get their Stevia, and get their affairs in order. They rig up death machines and say their goodbyes both to the show and the show that inspired it as they talk about Felina, the last episode of Breaking Bad. CHARLIE ROSE: THE TRUE HERO OF BREAKING BAD     Outro: "El Paso" by Marty Robbins from 516 "Felina"

In the seventh installment of the series, the Sloth (Alex Koch) is joined by two members of The Off-Panel Podcast's sister network, James Lewis (Below The Bible Belt) and Mike Napier (Pulp Nightmare), to talk about an often overlooked but fascinatingly rich chapter of the extensive Marvel catalog that once threatened to tell the tale that could have unraveled one of comics' most beloved characters. From his humble beginnings playing hoop and stick, to his tragic and often disturbing turn into the animal he was always destined to become, discover the origin story of The X-Men's Wolverine for the very first time in the controversial 2001 graphic novel simply titled, Origin.Download Off The Panel!

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize?"1 Corinthians 9:24 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys strap on their leather helmets and sharpen their ice skates, as they discuss sportsmanship (and their lack of it). Scarf down some peanuts and cracker jacks, while you listen to them slander sports icons, hunt the most elusive bird, and debate what, exactly, a tractor pull is. As the clock runs down, Matt enlists help against off-black helicopters, James reveals his rise and fall as Rookie of the Year, and the Dirty Trick torch is passed from father to son. LET'S GET READY TO HOLD OUR BREAAAAAAATH     Links: What does "Roll Tide" mean to YOU?

Download Here, yo In which them good ole boys face off with an out of town competitor. Fellow BB super-fan John Lees join Matt and James for a sit down and chat about Granite State, the next to last episode of Breaking Bad. PENULTIMATE! PENULTIMATE! PENULTIMATE!     Outro: "Out of Time Man" by Mick Harvey from 101 "Pilot."

Download Here, yo In which them good ole boys lose it all. In the middle of their poetic decline, they stop the freefall and discuss "Ozymandias" the latest episode of Breaking Bad. I AM THE ONE WHO BARACKS!     Walt's Pants Outro: "Times Are Getting Hard, Boys" by The Limelighters from 514 "Ozymandias."

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys are once again eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin', as they hop into their time-jalopy to witness the birth of the hicksploitation genre: the drive-in classic Smokey and the Bandit. GODDAMN YOU, BURT REYNOLDS. WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT!?     Links: Check out The 7-Movie Outlaw Collection, on Amazon for $11.93! That's less than $2 a bandit! (but slightly more than $1 a smokey)

Download Here, yo In which them good ole boys mistake cow brains for real brains, forget the order of events in an episode, and radio Neo-Nazis for backup. All that and more, including the debut of Fuel for Huell, as both James and Matt break down "To'hajiilee", the latest episode of Breaking Bad. CALL IT OFF, GILLIGAN! CALL IT OFF!     Outro: "Crystal Blue Persuasion" by Tommy James and the Shondells from 508 "Gliding Over All"

Download Here, yo In which them good ole boys speak in colorful metaphors. While Matt laughs at spousal abuse jokes, James gets stuck in time. But both take the time to break down episode 604 "Rabid Dog," the halfway point of Breaking Bad's final season. SNITCHES GET STITCHES, BITCH!     Jesse Pinkman: Into Bald Dudes Outro: Fallacies by "Twaughthammer" from 204 "Down."

"No one who practices deceit shall dwell in my house; no one who utters lies shall continue before my eyes." Pslam 101:7 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys befriend villainous vloggers, racist reality show reactions, and the hidden danger of pajamas, as they discuss bullpocky in all it's forms. Wade through the fetid stench of deception as Matt packs his bags for a fishing trip that will never be, James has the weed pulled over his eyes, and they both discover just how much evil you can commit with a single bag of Skittles. PD: 1. MLK: 0. BS: INFINITE.     Links: My god, it FINALLY MAKES SENSEMartin Luther King just can't catch a break these days

Download Here, yo In which the good ol boys put their confessions on tape and ride with the Uncles of Anarchy. In the midst of championing Dean Norris for both Batman and Mineral Man, they take time to breakdown Breaking Bad episode 511/603 "Confessions."     Outro: "Who's Gonna Save My Soul" by Gnarls Barkley from episode 107 "A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal"

Download Here, yo In which the good ol boys buy suspicious lottery tickets and consider a trip to Belize, as they talk about "Buried", the second leg of Breaking Bad's final eight episode run. THE NUMBERS ARE BAD, MAN. THE NUMBERS ARE BAD!     Outro: "DLZ" by TV on the Radio

Download Here, yo In which the good ol boys are in the lab and cooking once again. Join James and Matt for Breaking Belt, the minisode where they "dissect the chemistry" of Breaking Bad. After threatening to flip on James, Matt gets it together and they get into episode 601 "Blood Money", the start of Breaking Bad's final eight episode run.  WE'RE NOT IN THE PODCASTING BUSINESS, WE'RE IN THE EMPIRE BUSINESS.       Outro: "Negro y Azul: Ballad of Heisenberg" by Los Cuates de Sinaloa from episode 207 "Negro y Azul"

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys take a visit to Dr. Stein's photogenic mansion, as they endure the blacksploitation/mad-science-sploitation/establishing-shot-sploitation romp Blackenstein: The Black Frankenstein! Who knows what racism lurks in the heart of the 70's... BLACKENSTEINTHEBLACKFRANKENSTEINGIVEITALISTENWHYNOT     Links: Watch on Netflix! Or via the magic of Youtube!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys embark on their first ever minisode, as they ponder celestial domestic disturbances, search for the elusive land of Yonder, and watch helplessly as the debate over Dinner v. Supper tears the Johnson family apart. DR. PEPPER: IT'S MY BLACK GUY.     Links: NC State's Dialect Survey Map

"I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me."Psalms 101:3 Download Here, if ya please Dig this: The good ol' boys are discussing the malevolent mainstream media, and it's dichotomous depiction of their happy and hallowed homeland! Perk up those sound-peepers as they verbally fellate film's most aesthetically toothsome twosome, scoff at the sorry state of each other's movie knowledge, and trip balls during another jolly Johnson Family Movie Night. Also dig: James interrupts the lip-locking of libidinous young lovers, Matt belays his banjo bromance, and the Demon Dog of Dime-Store Detective Stories finally gets-- his -- DUE. Bam! Final dig: SING ME A SIZZLING SIN-SONG, BARKO!     Links: James Ellroy Hates EverythingJames Ellroy Hates Racism But James Ellroy Loves Peeping And James Ellroy Always Gets His Man James Ellroy is very proud of his show "James Ellroy's LA: City of Demons" PROMOTIONAL DIG: Be sure to check out BtBB on Tumblr, for extra bullshit you can't find anywhere else (in most states)!

Download Here, if ya please In which them good ol' boys journey close to home, with the 2002 Reese Witherspoon rom-com critical bomb Sweet Home Alabama! Starring Patrick "Fuck You Patrick Dempsey" Dempsey, Murphy Brown, Stonewall Jackson, Guy Who Isn't Matthew McConaughey, and Fred Ward. ACT, REESE WITHERSPOON! MOVE-- YOUR-- FACE!     Links: Watch the full movie via the magic of Youtube!

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."1 Peter 4:8 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys find the one that they want (hoo hoo-ooh), when they recount one patriarch's passion for the Pink Ladies, question the legitimacy of an unlicensed ice cream truck, and spend an alarming amount of time rationalizing a basic taboo. Listen as one host's romantic endeavors are again thwarted by Paul Rudd, another lets his love flow (like a mountain stree-eeam), and both uncover the shocking true identity of Matt Johnson, AKA John Mattson, AKA Matty Nice, AKA H.P. Lovejohnson, AKA John Suan, AKA DJ Scoop, AKA Tootie. YES, FOR ALL THOSE WONDERING, BTBB IS NOW BI-WEEKLY. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE US NOW. (LIKE THIS POST)     Links: Alabama Leads Porn ListTexas Says It's OK to Shoot an Escort If She Won't Have Sex With You

Download Here, if ya please In which them good ol' boys usher in a new monthly segment, where they revisit some of cinema's trashiest southern-fried trainwrecks! In our first episode, White Bigot Matt awakens to find his head grafted to the body of Soul Brother James, as they watch the 1970's anti-classic The Thing With Two Heads. WHO WOULD HAVE SUSPECTED NEITHER WOULD CARE FOR THE IDEA TOO MUCH...     Links: Watch the full movie via the magic of Youtube!

"For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." James 1:20 (no relation) Download Here, if ya please In which the good ole boys start up a triple feature fight night of wrath and rage. First up, James and Matt fight to the death with undead Lincolns and man-boy fashion trends, as one member of The Hatest Generation attempts bycicular homicide, and another wages war against the exchange of big tips for big tits. In our second match, two icons (?) join forces to solve racism once and for all, with the cast of Good Burger, and our night finishes out with the main event: Science gone awry, a terrorist gone gangsta, and a redneck gone beatnik. DO THE LADIES REALLY LOVE COOL JAMES, OR DO THEY JUDGE HIS GOLD CHAINS?!      Links: The Rappin' Jihadist III: The Search For Spock The Accidental Racist The Thing with Two Heads Trailer I told you I didn't make this up

"The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is the servant of the lender."Proverbs 22:7 Download Here, if ya please In which one of them good ole boys is handed a pink slip, the other a bottle of soy sauce, as they court the bitter mistress that is poverty. James breaks out of Shawshank and into the Family Dollar, then stops to commit Grand Theft Queen Size, as Matt's Dad goes up against his most formidable foe yet... HIMSELF. As they decipher Hobo Sigils and meet up with an old friend from the (Middle)East Side, Matt tells a story so foul, so revolting, so WRONG, that it knocks the podcast off its hinges and shakes his co-host to his very soul. HE WALKS IN TWO WORLDS, BUT IS MASTER OF BOTH! MAN-HORSE, YOU ARE NATURE'S GREATEST WONDER! NOTE: Matt's audio is a little shaky in this episode, but if it helps, just imagine he's podcasting from THE PHANTOM ZONE!      Links: The Rappin' Jihadist II: The Wrath of Kahn A father-son outing gone WRONG Light the Cowboy Bob signal!

"Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know  that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him."- 1 John 3:15 Download Here, if ya please In which them good ole boys strap on their sideburns and prepare for war, as they discuss the bloodiest battle ever fought over shoes, search for Jefferson's Gold, give props to Charles Manson, and uncover a legal revelation of Alabama proportions. Listen to James say nothing in particular as Matt schools him on everything from the The War Between The States to The War Against The Statues, exposes the lamest hate-monger of them all, and gets freaky with our new national anthem. KROENEN LIVES.      Links: Every Signature Helps. Give Us Your Toot-Toot. So America May Have It's Beep-Beep. "Ignition (Remix)" copyright R. Kelly, 2003

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." - Proverbs 14:23 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys cut their hair, hide their tattoos, and fabricate their resumes, as they enter the job market! While James disturbs the tranquility of a lingerie shop, steals candy from a future employer, and again dodges bottles of urine, Matt recounts his time as DJ Johnson, gets ambushed by a job interview, and justifies the existence of Dragonball: Evolution with a single innuendo. WHAT KIND OF A BARBECUE IS THIS?!      Links: Peter Palmtree AKA God Of All Texas on Twitter "Quack Like A Duck" by G.O.A.T. and your M.O.M. "Down With The DP (Your Girlfriend's Favorite Song)" by G.O.A.T. and your M.O.M

 "I have been a stranger in a strange land."- Exodus 2:22 Download Here, if ya please In which them good ole boys are eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin', but not before reflecting on Christoph Waltz's exceptional facial hair. While James dodges bottles of urine and dances with scorpions, Matt gets locked in a life-or-death struggle with the shallow end, as one host reveals the least-harrowing disability imaginable, the other is drawn into the most polite hostage situation of all time, and the good name of Mississippi is forever tarnished. ALL GLORY TO THE LASER GOD!      Links: Christoph Waltz's beard has a tumblr. You know you want to click.