Podcast appearances and mentions of jaemin frazer

Losing Confidence After Stroke: Why It Happens and How to Get It Back Jaemin Frazer has spent nearly two decades and around 16,000 coaching hours on a single question: what is actually going on when a capable person stops trusting themselves? He founded The Insecurity Project to work on it directly. He is not a stroke survivor – and that turns out to be the reason this conversation is useful, because he arrives without any assumptions about what stroke recovery is supposed to look like. What he does have is a precise account of what happens to a person when their ordered world collapses, which is, more or less, the definition of a stroke. “I Just Want to Be Who I Was” Almost every survivor says some version of this. Six weeks out, six years out – the sentence barely changes. Jaemin’s response is to ask what is actually being requested. His answer: not the past. Certainty. They’re looking for certainty. They’re looking for comfort. They’re looking for safety. They’re looking through rose coloured glasses in many ways, because no one’s life was perfect before anything. That last part is the uncomfortable bit. The life you want back had its own problems. What memory offers is not a better life but a known one – and the nervous system will take known over good almost every time. Certainty Is the Real Request Humans need certainty the way they need food and shelter. We don’t function in chaos. But we also can’t get certainty from the outside world, because the outside world doesn’t have any to give. It never did. The stroke didn’t remove your certainty; it removed your ability to keep believing in it. Which leaves one option. As Jaemin puts it: The most resourceful form of certainty is to embrace uncertainty and back yourself. That distinction – external certainty versus internal certainty – is the whole conversation. When your sense of safety lives outside you, you have to control your circumstances to feel all right, and after a stroke your circumstances are largely uncontrollable. When it lives inside you, circumstances can do what they like. This is the same territory covered in stroke recovery mindset (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/stroke-recovery-mindset/), approached from a completely different angle. Self-Doubt Is Useful. Insecurity Is Not. Jaemin draws a hard line between the two, and it’s worth holding onto. Self-doubt is accurate information about a skill gap. If you can’t yet climb the stairs unaided, self-doubt is what stops you attempting it alone. It says nothing about your worth. It’s wisdom. Insecurity is different. Insecurity is the belief that a failure would expose something defective about you. Jaemin argues that most people misdefine it – it isn’t fear of judgement, failure, or rejection. It’s one level deeper: No one’s actually afraid of being rejected. They’re afraid of: if I put my best foot forward and it’s not enough, and then people don’t accept me – what does that confirm about my own inadequacy? The threat isn’t out there. It’s a verdict you’ve already passed on yourself, waiting for the world to co-sign it. What Insecurity Costs Your Recovery This is where it stops being philosophy. Jaemin frames insecurity as a resource problem. Proving yourself, defending yourself, covering and compensating – all of it consumes energy. When life is going well there’s enough spare capacity that you never notice the drain. After a stroke, there is no spare capacity. A stroke puts you into survival mode, and now you’ve got no resources to survive, because all your best resources are directed elsewhere to make sure no one sees your inadequacy. Survivors already know that fatigue after stroke is not ordinary tiredness. An injured brain rewiring itself is metabolically expensive. Every unit of energy spent managing how you appear to other people is a unit unavailable for healing. Attending to the emotional side of recovery isn’t separate from the physical work – it’s what frees up the capacity to do it. That connection runs through emotional recovery after stroke (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/emotional-recovery-after-stroke-dr-bradley-nelson/) as well. Why Your Friends Push Back Many survivors have to change how they live – what they eat, what they drink, where they go, who they spend time with. And many report losing friends over it. Jaemin’s framing here is bracing. Resistance from the people around you isn’t a malfunction. In any story worth telling, the character who transforms does so by overcoming obstacles, and those obstacles almost always arrive in the form of other people. Remove the resistance and nothing in the hero is enlarged. So when someone says you’ve changed and doesn’t mean it kindly, they are – without intending to – handing you the exact thing you need to become someone who no longer requires their approval. Grief and Insecurity Are Not the Same Thing This distinction matters, and conflating them causes real harm. Losing the use of a limb is a genuine loss. Grief is the appropriate response, and it deserves acknowledgement rather than management. The damage begins when the loss becomes a statement about your worth. I can’t run, therefore I’m not a runner, therefore who am I? That is no longer grief – that’s insecurity wearing grief’s clothes, and it needs a different response entirely. Survivors working through that identity question will recognise it in craniotomy stroke recovery and identity reset (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/craniotomy-stroke-recovery-identity-reset/), and it sits close to the ground covered in anxiety after stroke (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/anxiety-after-stroke/). That’s Not the Tragedy. That’s the Setup. The line Jaemin returns to twice in the episode is this: being lost and confused doesn’t disqualify you from a meaningful life. It’s what qualifies you to begin one. Nobody reaches adulthood with an accurate picture of who they are. Everyone arrives confused. The confusion isn’t damage to be repaired before you can start – it’s the starting position. This reframes the disorientation of early recovery as the opening move rather than evidence that something has gone permanently wrong. The same reframe underpins post-traumatic growth in stroke recovery (https://recoveryafterstroke.com/post-traumatic-growth-stroke-recovery/). And Jaemin is firm that this is solvable – not managed, not coped with. Solvable. Because the inadequacy you’ve been protecting everyone from isn’t real. It’s a conclusion you drew as a child and have been gathering evidence for ever since. There is no monster under the bed. Only the idea of one. Where to Start Start by being precise. When you catch yourself saying I lost my confidence, ask what you actually mean. Confidence at what? In front of whom? What exactly are you afraid would be revealed? Abstract language hides the levers. Precise language shows you where they are. Closing Links If this episode is useful to you, Bill’s book The Unexpected Way That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened covers ten tools for recovery and personal transformation – you can find it at https://recoveryafterstroke.com/book. If you would like one-on-one support with your own recovery, you can apply at https://recoveryafterstroke.com/momentum. If this show has helped you, you can support it at https://patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. Footer Disclaimer This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan. Losing Confidence After Stroke – Jaemin Frazer (Interview) You don’t need your old life back. You need to trust yourself again – and Jaemin Frazer explains exactly why that feels impossible after stroke. Highlights: 00:00 Introduction – Losing Confidence After Stroke 08:54 Embracing Uncertainty and Personal Resourcefulness 20:43 The Role of Self-Doubt and Insecurity 38:26 Transformational Journeys: Overcoming Obstacles 46:14 The Hero’s Journey and Storytelling 52:07 Understanding Bullies and Personal Growth 59:21 The Role of Parents in Identity Formation 01:11:17 The Cost of Insecurity in Recovery 01:20:55 Finding Purpose Beyond Insecurity Transcript: Introduction – Losing Confidence After Stroke Jaemin (00:00) A stroke puts you into survival mode, and now you’ve got no resources to survive because all your best resources are directed elsewhere So then it costs you everything. It costs you your future. It costs you your ability to heal, to make sense of this, to come out the other side and reinvent or do whatever you need to be present for yourself. It’s a slow descent into madness really, if all your best resources are proving and defending, covering and compensating, then you stop being human, you stop being alive, you stop being present, you become hypervigilant around what others are thinking, and your world keeps getting smaller. Bill Gasiamis (00:35) Welcome back to Recovery After Stroke. I’m Bill Gasciamas. Before anything else, thank you to everyone supporting the show on Patreon, becoming a YouTube member, and to everyone supporting it in all other ways. Sharing episodes, leaving reviews, sending them to someone who needs them, buying the book. This show has reached over a million and a half downloads because of people doing exactly that. And I don’t take it for granted. If you’ve ever caught yourself saying, I just want to be who I was, this episode is going to sit with you for a while. My guest today is Jaemin Fraser. Jaemin is a coach, the founder of the Insecurity Project, a TEDx speaker, and as of this year, a novelist. He spent nearly two decades, around 16,000 coaching hours, on one problem. What happens to a person when they stop trusting themselves and what it costs them? Jaemin has not had a stroke. I want to be upfront about that because it’s the reason this conversation goes where it does. He came to it without any assumptions about what recovery is meant to look like. And what he brought instead is a very precise account of what happens to anyone whose ordered world falls apart overnight. We get into why wanting your odd life back is really a request for certainty. The difference between self-doubt, which is useful, and insecurity, which isn’t, why insecurity draws down the exact energy your brain needs to heal. What’s really going on when friends push back on your habits and why being lost and confused isn’t the tragedy, it’s the setup. Three quick things before we start, my book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened, covers ten tools for recovery and personal transformation. It’s available at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. If you’d like one-on-one support with your own recovery, I walk I work with a small number of stroke survivors at a time. Structure, accountability, and genuine guidance from someone who’s been through it, you can apply at recoveryafterstroke.com/momentum. And if this show has helped you and you want to help me get to a thousand episodes, you can support it either as a YouTube member or by going to patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. I want to make sure that No strike survivor. has to ever go through what I went through when I first started my recovery, and that was not having any information about how to proceed after I got sent home from hospital. Now it’s time for the interview. Bill Gasiamis (03:14) Jaemin Fraser, welcome to the podcast. Jaemin (03:15) Thanks for having me, Bill. Bill Gasiamis (03:17) Absolute pleasure, mate. I wanted to ask, actually I want to start with the person listening. They’re anywhere from six weeks to twenty years post stroke, right? and what they say is they want to be back to their old life. In your experience, when someone says, I just want to be who I was, what are they actually asking for? Jaemin (03:39) Hmm, well, I think they’re looking for certainty. They’re looking for comfort. They’re looking for safety. Yeah, they’re looking through rose colored glasses in many ways because no one’s life was perfect before anything. So the fantasy of if I could go back to where I was, it deletes a whole bunch of stuff around the reality of where you were in the first place. But I think that the desire is it’s certainty, safety, peace, comfort. That’s what a person is driven to find some way or other. Bill Gasiamis (04:16) W what do you think it is about certainty? A and what does that even mean? Like I There was, you know, before my experience with stroke, there wasn’t anything that was certain. Is it an illusion? Is certainty an illusion? Because I definitely don’t feel certain about anything going forward either. but kind of not in a bad way. Like I don’t have a bad relationship with the lack of certainty. It’s just. It i it’s just not real. Like I feel like it might be an illusion. Jaemin (04:53) Well, I love Anthony Robbins take on this. I think his six core needs model is his finest contribution to the personal development space and his earliest versions of this, because I think if you were to do a search, Tony Robbins six core needs, what you’re going to get today is an idea that there’s a hierarchy of needs. So you could do a test to work out which needs are most important for you based on your personality type. That’s not how we first introduced them. And I am convinced it’s not actually how it works. So just a quick summary. He says, doesn’t matter what age, what sex, what culture, what stage of life, because you’re human, just as important as food, shelter, clothing is the need for certainty. Firstly, we are creatures who do not survive in chaos. We need some sense of control, order. We thrive in the familiar. We need a sense of what’s happening next. So we organize ourselves and we find certainty. We cannot survive without it. Interestingly though, we also need uncertainty. these six needs operate in paradox. Piers, are you familiar with the six core needs? Bill Gasiamis (06:07) I’m not actually. Jaemin (06:08) and variety is the first two and they operate in paradox pairs. So certainty pulls you one way, but we also need variety. If you have 100 % certainty, you’re completely bored and Bill Gasiamis (06:18) Uh-huh. Jaemin (06:19) you would ruin things. You’d mess it up so that there would be something to do. So we need uncertainty, surprise, spontaneity, adventure. But if you have 100 Bill Gasiamis (06:30) You’d mess it up i is is is messing it up because you need uncertainty, is that that sounds like like self sabotage. Jaemin (06:41) Well, it is if it’s unresourceful. is if you haven’t, I mean, the aim of the game is to find high quality internal resource, ways to meet these needs. If you don’t find that, then unconsciously, you’ll still find a way to meet these needs and it will be through sabotage, dysfunction, know. So certainty and variety are the first two. The second two are significance and love. So all humans need a sense of significance, need to know, I matter? Am I more than just a name and number? Do I have value? Is there any point to me? Now that’s a journey away from the tribe because we’re also relational beings. So we don’t survive in isolation. We need love, belonging, connection, warmth, touch. So if you have 100 % love and connection, you lose your separateness. And if you have 100 % significance, then you’re completely lonely and isolated. But we do need both. Embracing Uncertainty and Personal Resourcefulness So certainty, variety, significance, love, and then the final two are contribution and growth. So humans do feel the need to make a difference, add value, give back, leave a legacy, solve problems. So contribution is about adding value to others. And then growth is adding value to yourselves, to ourselves. Every living thing grows, you either grow or die. So this is the need that drives us to do more, to have more, to see more, to expand our experience. one way shape or another. it’s a strange thing to need certainty back to certainty. It’s a strange thing to need certainty for survival in an uncertain world because you then can’t help but cling to things that aren’t really certain and try and control them. Cling to a job you don’t like, cling to a memory that feels familiar, cling to a relationship that’s dysfunctional. cling to stuff that you know, because it makes you feel certain and makes you feel safe. There’s a predictability around it. What you’re describing is not that you’ve done away with the need for certainty. It’s that you have a certainty in your ability to handle the real world. So you don’t need to cling to things being a certain way. You don’t need to force things to be back the way they were. You’re like, that’s ridiculous. Here I am now and I’m certain. that I am a resourceful person, a creative person, a good person, a clever person, I’ll work it out. The real world will happen to me. I’ll wake up, I’ll open my eyes and I’ll handle it. That’s what I’m certain about. So the most resourceful form of certainty is to embrace uncertainty and back yourself. Bill Gasiamis (09:26) To be certain about uncertainty. Jaemin (09:28) There be certain uncertainty. That is the only certainty. It’s, you there’s you think, what is certain? well, the sun’s going to come up tomorrow. For some people, it’s not. Some people, this will be the last sunrise they ever see. No one’s expecting that, but it happens. So we’re not entitled to any more time, any more opportunity. That’s not certain. It’s not guaranteed. So yeah, the only certainty is it’s all uncertain. So then you must find certainty within, and that will require you to examine your own. your your capability, your own resourcefulness and to grow up and mature in your own sense of who you really are. Bill Gasiamis (10:06) Yeah. I have this saying that I picked up from somewhere. Some dude in the Middle East, like I think in the 40s or 50s, said this thing. I forget his name. I I always wanted to remember his name so I can give him credit, but it goes like exp expect the best, prepare for the worst. And it kind of feels like that’s how I handled my uncertainty when, you know, the doctor turns up day one. Of a bleed in the brain diagnosis and says, gives you the most vague version of the diagnosis and said to me, there’s a shadow on your brain. It could be a cancer, it could be a sea it could be a tumor that’s benign, it could be a bleed in the brain. Like, any questions? And I was like, Well. Jaemin (10:57) There’s a few. Bill Gasiamis (11:01) I don’t know, at eleven PM on a Friday night. Maybe not. Let’s talk in the morning. but it’s like And then after that came a lot of uncertainty. We didn’t know what a family life was gonna be like. We didn’t like know what my work life was gonna be like. We didn’t know whether I’d be around. We didn’t know any of the things that I kind of knew the day before, which I took for granted that I knew, which was only that w without knowing that there’s something wrong in my head and that potentially I’m unwell, I knew that. Tomorrow was going to be pretty much the same as yesterday. And there’s going to be some movement in a couple of similar directions, maybe a few odd ones and different ones. And I suppose that expect the best prepare for the worst was me embracing uncertainty, the certainty of uncertainty. Does that saying kind of capture that spirit? Jaemin (12:03) It certainly does. However, the challenge is no surprise. I’m going to talk about insecurity being a challenge because then it comes back to them. But then what do you believe about yourself? You know, do you feel like you’re actually up for the challenge? Do you have the resourcefulness? What is the story you tell around your own capacity, your capability, your intelligence, your value? Because to fear inadequacy then undermines your confidence in your own ability to handle the real world. And therefore you must then cling to external certainty and long for things to go back the way they were so that you can be safe. Because you don’t trust yourself to be up for the challenge. Bill Gasiamis (12:50) Yeah. It’s a real interesting conundrum because before I was unwell I didn’t contemplate life, me and how I interact with life or the possibility of nail life. I didn’t I didn’t contemplate that whole relationship and then you’re thrust in it and it seems like people that I’ve interviewed at least the four hundred odd stroke survivors that I’ve interviewed have not got the resources backfilled in preparation for when that day comes, and then you feel inadequate, insecure, perhaps, whatever the word is, that you can even handle this. I’ve never met anyone who said, I know, I was 100% certain that I was going to handle this diagnosis from my doctors. Can you prepare for the worst? Like that whole going back to that statement again, that saying, is there a way that we can even prepare for the worst when we don’t even know what the worst is? Is it even is it sounds like it might be might be a futile pursuit? Jaemin (14:07) Whoa. I I think you and I here today are doing that exact thing, you know, with internal resourcefulness. We don’t know what tomorrow is bringing. So in some ways we are certain in our capacity to, you know, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. So that’s not futile. I don’t consider that futile at all. And I think that is the only job is to resource yourself for the real world, is to grow up, is to become mature. The way that I think about that is self-sufficiency. You when you’re young, you’re growing through stages of development and really learning self-sufficiency. Can you feed yourself? Can you dress yourself? Can you learn yourself? Can you drive a car? Can you earn money? And they’re all the things, physical, financial, self-sufficiency, but people are… seem, you know, it’s see when it comes to emotional, intellectual, psychological self sufficiencies, like what is that? How does that even work? And so they come into their adult world, being able to earn money, being able to drive a car, out, address themselves, you know, wipe their own ass. Great. But when it comes to validating their own existence, when it comes to sourcing their own certainty, when it comes to deeply loving and accepting themselves, when it comes to being the one that approves of themselves, that sees themselves. you know, adults are typically ill prepared for that, you know, stroke Bill Gasiamis (15:38) Mm-hmm. Jaemin (15:38) or no stroke. And so, you know, you know, we’re talking about when a stroke happens, but people have all kinds of catastrophes they’re not prepared for, you know, and things are fine because their ordered world is safe and predictable. And then next day it’s not. And they look inside and they’ve never developed the resources, the internal resources of adulthood that helps them stand solid when the world is falling around apart. about them. you know, primarily that is the work of the insecurity project. It’s these conversations around existential angst, which people don’t prepare for because their world’s ordered. But when your world falls apart, then you really see how unprepared you are to handle difficulty and the worst case scenario if you have not examined your own sense of who you are. Bill Gasiamis (16:29) Mm-hmm. The world being ordered, it can be ordered in a dysfunctional way as well, right? Jaemin (16:39) Well, that’s, yes, that’s exactly what happens because we need certainty. I love thinking about these six core needs as a vacuum. In our atmosphere, a vacuum is always filled. So someone says to me, I don’t need that much certainty. You know, I’m more of a risk taker, I’m adventurous, or they might, someone else might be the opposite. I need so much certainty, I’m very risk averse. you know, someone looks at one of my clients recently looked at me and says, you’re a free spirit. You’re adventurous. It’s different. It’s different from me. You know, I’m very analytical. I’m risk averse. I’m safety conscious. But if you zoom out and have a look at both of us, I need just as much certainty as that person. Exactly. I can’t survive without certainty. I can’t survive without order. It’s just that I’ve found a high quality, internal adult way to order my world so that I have internal safety. which then frees me to go into the world and experience uncertainty and play. Whereas this other person has not found an internal way to create order. So they’re clinging to all the dysfunctional external forms of order. Hate their Bill Gasiamis (17:47) Wow. Jaemin (17:47) job, relationships falling apart, don’t like their relationship with money, know, problems here, difficulties there, but it’s familiar. So I better cling to it because I know it. There you go, there’s some certainty for you. Bill Gasiamis (18:03) I love what you said, like that internal sense of certainty Jaemin (18:06) Hmm Bill Gasiamis (18:07) seems to be the biggest l skill lacking in many, many people. If you have internal sense of certainty, then you don’t have to control the outside world. You put the dishwasher plate in the wrong direction. You know, when we loaded the dishwasher, y this might be revealing. you park the car in the wrong bay, or you know, all these little things that people kind of cling to to make their world feel right if they see it like that. If everyone just did the task the way that they needed to do it, then I wouldn’t have a problem, right? But if you have internal certainty and you can be more flexible, I think Tony Robbins talks about being having multiple ways to be to be. being more flexible, then you realize that there are infinite number of ways that things can be loaded into a dishwasher, for example, even though there are certainly some ways that won’t be able to wash the dishes effectively, perhaps, but there are many ways, and the other person’s ways not necessarily the wrong way or the odd way or or the incorrect way, right? Jaemin (19:30) Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (19:31) I think I resonate with that immediately, that internal sense of certainty. And then the external world becomes easier to navigate. Is that is that Jaemin (19:44) Well, does because then play becomes possible and you don’t need things to be anything other than they are, know, good, bad or indifferent. You have an experience that looks terrible. Well, are you sure it’s terrible? Or could there be learning? Could there be a gift? Could there be an opportunity? Might you meet someone? Might your life change in an unexpected way? Like who’s to say a bad experience is actually a bad experience if you’re free to encounter it as it is. The Role of Self-Doubt and Insecurity That’s what becomes possible if you have internal safety and that you do back yourself to handle that. And I think it’s an abstract concept for most people because they’ve never faced their fear of their deep inadequacy. And so it’s always undermined. They would love to take internal certainty, but their conviction, if they’re really honest, and it’s hard to be honest, because this stuff gets pretty well suppressed. Their honest fear is that there is a problem with them. There is an inadequacy. They are not up to the challenge. So if they rely on themselves, they will be found lacking and wanting. So therefore they must look outside themselves. That’s their only option. Bill Gasiamis (20:53) Got it. You’ve worked with high performers for hundreds and maybe thousands of hours, right? if one of them walked into you into a meeting with you and said, I had a stroke and I lost my confidence, what what’s the first thing you ask them? Jaemin (21:15) What do you mean? That would be the first thing that I asked them. I understand a little about a stroke. think I would understand enough about that part of the sentence, but I’m more curious around the second part of the sentence. I love Jordan Peterson’s thinking in so many ways. And he says, listen, be precise in your speech because things that go unnamed become monsters that consume you. So that would be where I would start. What do you mean I lost this happened and that made me do this? Are you sure? That’s how it actually worked. What do you mean? Let’s have a look. Let’s have a look. So that’s my whole world is someone comes to me with a level of abstraction. They use language that’s abstract. And when you use abstract language, you cannot see any of the levers that can be pulled. And so you end up feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. When you be precise, when you have a look, you actually begin to see the mechanics, the structures that are actually influencing your experience. And when you see them precisely, the levers become apparent, like, I could actually adjust that. I could turn this, I could change this. Therefore now I’m back in control of my own experience of my reality. So yeah, that’s where I say, what do you mean? What are you talking about exactly? Bill Gasiamis (22:37) I love that. It’s it reminds me of when I hear the word the one of the most common words I hear in my interview, stroke recovery, stroke conversations. And I I’m specifically talking about stroke because that’s my niche, right? That’s my audience, that’s the podcast. But I know this is a situation kind of that I experience also broadly outside of my stroke podcast world. my children, others that I come across is I hear the word depression and anxiety. And it’s an umbrella word that people place on so many experiences and nobody ever even really knows if if I challenge if I have the permission and and I’m in a room with the right person to challenge them and ask them, well, do you do you know what the definition of depression is? And do you know what the definition of anxiety is? Nobody can really give you that. And they’ve taken a word and they apply it to an experience that may have been completely separate from the intended definition of a word like depression and anxiety. And I I kind of feel like that’s what you’re saying. Like somebody says, I’m I’m depressed, like, okay, like, why? How? How do you know that? Jaemin (24:00) It’s exactly anxiety is a great story because I go, well, hang on. How did you, how are you anxious? And anxiety requires a backstory to survive. So I’m curious, you know, are you anxious tying your shoes? No. how do you do not anxiety? Well, I don’t know. No one cares. I can’t fail. I’ve done it a million times. there you go. That’s interesting. So the, the areas that you are not anxious about, there’s no possibility of being found inadequate. Curious. So the areas you are anxious, you’re only anxious because there’s something about the activity you’re involved in, which you feel threatened, personally threatened that someone might see your flaw. So let’s not worry about the anxiety, it’s downstream. Tell me about this perceived flaw. Tell me about this thing that you think is wrong with you. Are you sure that’s even there? The great humor of my work in the same as what you’re saying, know, insecurity. Talking about fear, my first question to people, what are you afraid of? And no one knows. People are experiencing fear. They can tell you that much. So what you’re running and hiding, but what are you running and hiding from? yeah, it’s just this, you know, I just feel so, like, okay, interesting. So you’re running and hiding. What about if we go and have a look at what it is you’re running and hiding from? You might be surprised. In fact, You will be surprised. promise you it’s not what you think it is. And you’ve just been running and hiding for so long. You’ve just become convinced that there’s a thing here that you ought to keep running and hiding from. I’m not so sure. Bill Gasiamis (25:41) Yeah. That what are you afraid of? That’s a very interesting question. Again, you know, I find myself in the hot seat here. And every time I ventured down something new, it was interesting now ’cause I’m reflecting like how often insecurity came up. You know, the first few episodes of the podcast were, my God, people are going to judge it, they’re gonna say it’s no good, you don’t know how to interview, all that kind of stuff. And the the best thing to do was just put it out there. And if somebody did say that was handle it. And if somebody didn’t say that, well then there was nothing to handle. So just do it anyway. And I remember then also with my book, I’m not an author. I did I’m not a scholar. I’ve never done any of that stuff. But I wrote my first book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing That Happened. It’s a pretty loaded title. And I knew it was gonna ruffle some feathers. But I put it out there and the very first comment that I got from the very first post that I made was a negative one. And what I realized was that pattern was similar in that when I started the podcast, I had the exact same concern that it might happen and it did. People did give me negative feedback. But then it seems to me now now that I’ve learnt a few times, you know, what happens when you put yourself out there for the first time when you tell the world this is what I’ve created, you know, I’m sharing my creation is part of the journey has to be something that’s gonna test your insecurity. It might not be a negative comment or so but it but it might be like bad sales or it might be nobody listens or whatever. So it sounds like insecurity is necessary in some cases to kind of overcome, to tackle it, to overcome it, so that you can be better at tackling it and overcoming it and achieve more things. Do you know what I’m saying? Did I explain that correctly? Jaemin (27:54) Yeah, I think I understand. I don’t think I agree with you though. Bill Gasiamis (27:58) Okay. Jaemin (27:59) So here’s how I’d think about it. I’d separate self-doubt and insecurity into slightly different categories. Bill Gasiamis (28:07) Okay, so you picked up self doubt there. Jaemin (28:10) So, so self doubts are really important quality of wisdom. So for instance, I’ve got a mate who races super bikes, you know, say he got injured this weekend and he says, Jaemin, you know, there’s still four rounds left. Can you sub in for me and race my super bike next week? And I’m like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I’ve never raced a super bike before. I do have a motorbike license, but you know, if I didn’t have severe self doubt, I’d be delusional. I’d be a crazy person and I would be, you know, dangerous to myself and the world. So self doubt doesn’t, doesn’t tell me I’m a bad person. It just highlights the limit of the things I’m good at. So, so the real function of self doubt to me is more what you’re describing. It’s, it’s the limit says, you’re not actually very good at this. Now that doesn’t say anything about your essence, your value and your worth. Would you like to be good at this? And I go. Actually, no, great. Well, then don’t do it. Don’t do it because it’ll go bad. I’m like, Yeah, I’d actually like to be good at it. excellent. Well, you have a massive skill gap. So go take however long to learn the skills and fill the skills so that you can come back with genuine confidence with earn confidence so that you could compete in this arena and do well. That’s that’s a wisdom conversation. Now insecurity is this personal piece. It’s like, I’m gonna put myself out there. people are gonna judge, laugh, critique, and then they’ll see who I really am. They will see my flaws, my flaws, my inadequacies will now be exposed to the world. Now it’s personal. And so to me, the definition of insecurity is really important here because people think insecurity is somehow related to the fear of what others think about them, the fear of being judged, the fear of failing, the fear of being rejected. Bill Gasiamis (30:04) Hmm. Right. Jaemin (30:05) Really imprecise. That’s not that’s not insecure at all. It’s just one or two levels deeper than that. You know, say for instance, the fear of failure, which is a typical one. And no one’s actually afraid of failing. They’re afraid of the personal implications of failure. I if I try my best at something, and then it doesn’t work. Huh? What have I just revealed to the world about me the problem with me? Same as rejection. No one’s actually afraid of being rejected. They’re afraid of, if I put my best foot forward and it’s not enough, and then people don’t accept me, huh, what does that reveal? What does that prove? What does that confirm about my own inadequacy? So then insecure. Bill Gasiamis (30:47) about what I about what I think are my inadequacies. Because it’s not about the other Jaemin (30:50) Exactly, that’s insecurity. Insecurity is… Bill Gasiamis (30:53) person’s thinking, it’s me, what I think, and then they’re confirming my inadequacy that I’ve Jaemin (30:56) confirming it. That’s it. That’s it. Bill Gasiamis (30:58) generated and created, which is not even real. Jaemin (31:01) That’s exactly right. That’s the thing, which is hilarious. But when you see that now the levers become apparent, because if the fear is out there, then you got to control the world constantly and obsess about it. But if the fear is here and you created it, then the levers are very apparent. You could then go examine this perceived inadequacy, trace it back to when you first described it and examine it at its roots. Like you could go on a structural engineering quest back into the the substance of your own sense of you, the language you’ve used to describe yourself and check it, check it for integrity, check it for gaps, check it for misunderstandings. Like that’s the fun of what I get to do. It’s take what appears to be abstract, mysterious, messy, unknowable and treat it like a structural engineer just by examining the structure of language. Bill Gasiamis (31:57) People don’t do that much, do they? Jaemin (31:59) No, no, no. And people are insecure about being insecure. So like when I launched the insecurity project, my business coach said, that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard. Like you’ve picked the most difficult, scary topic and put it at the front. No one’s going to be putting their hands up saying, Jay, when I’m insecure, can you help me? Like it’s existential angst. It’s the human condition. We want to be good. We’re just afraid that we’re not. So we run and we hide and we cover and compensate. So yeah, it’s a hard topic to face and yet the great joke is there’s no actual reason for it to be hard other than the confirmation bias we’ve given ourselves buying into our own bullshit, confirming our own fiction, exasperating our own misunderstanding. So there is no monster under the bed. It’s just the idea of a monster that terrifies us. Bill Gasiamis (32:55) we influenced in that way by external sources or is that a a human a human thing like that that we are kind of pre-programmed to do just because of that whole safety issue because you know safety comes in in a variety of different things. You know, you have to be safe from people entering your home, you know, back in the day and harming you and your family and taking your belongings. If you’re in a war torn area, you have to be safe from, you know, the invaders and that kind of stuff. But also this discussion that we’re having seems to me, as you keep going into those little beautiful deep places, it seems to me that Again, it’s about us creating like many barriers of safety around us and thinking that that’s the perhaps not even thinking like in just instinctively creating this kind of like multi layered safe structure that we can’t be harmed in. Jaemin (34:06) brilliant way of describing it. And that is the instinct. We are hardwired for safety. You cannot like this idea, more courage, less fear, feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s such a nonsense as though you could turn off your need for safety. Bill Gasiamis (34:20) Mm-hmm. Jaemin (34:21) It’s chemical, it’s biological, it’s psychological, it’s unconscious. And that as the child, the child starts in a very carefree, non-transactional experience of being themselves. I’m just here, not. doing the dishes and not mowing the lawn and not contributing to my ecosystem in any way, shape or form. And yet I’m being rewarded, loved, nurtured, cared for, praised, fed. Hmm, turns out it’s fine to be me. I can be relaxed and at ease being me, me as I am without performing, without achieving, without contributing is enough. Great. And then, then you, you know, you get somewhere past two, you know, somewhere around that the game breaks down. And all of a sudden you’re expected to participate, to perform, to conform, to behave. And no child’s prepared for that. No one’s ready for that. Such a surprise. And so the first time the child gets surprised, embarrassed, disappointed, upset, scolded, it’s such a confusing experience, but all the alarm, those safety warning lights are going off through their whole being. There’s a danger you didn’t know about. You. must pay attention and here’s the thing the danger is in you the danger is you’re not who you need to be to survive in this world so don’t be you ever again like be other than you be better than you be different than you do not ever show up present and unguarded ever again or it will turn to shit so yes it’s safe so then you build this safe world this safe persona these safe structures these familiar places where people think you’re good, think you’re smart, think you’re strong. Also, they never see the thing that you don’t want them to see, which would be the ultimate danger and then you die. Yeah, it’s entirely about a biological, chemical, psychological need for safety that is unavoidable. Bill Gasiamis (36:21) Hmm. It what came up in my mind while you were chatting about that is often stroke survivors need to make some radical changes in their life, the way they go about their nutrition, who they hang out with, the stuff they listen to and read, the whole the whole thing. Like, know, it’s sometimes it’s a line in the sand moment and everything changes, and you’ve got to change everything I did. And One of the challenges that stroke survivors have, well, I’ll talk about me. I had the challenge of, well, I needed to stop smoking and I needed to stop drinking. But all my extended family and friends were smokers and drinkers. And stroke survivors often comment about how they lose friends after a stroke. And we’re I and I’ve kind of tried to unravel that a few times and understand what it is that makes it difficult for people to evolve and and adapt and grow and stop the behaviors that perhaps led to a stroke, you know, so that they don’t have another one. And family and friends often do that. They kind of intervene in a way which says, Well, what do you mean we can’t have a drink when we go out? Like that’s we always go and have a drink. And then that person has has to explain themselves, perhaps, or conform again, just to be part of the group. The question is, are we also dealing with the insecurities of our family and friends when we find a way to overcome our own insecurities, perhaps, about something, and then we start to change and evolve and move forward? Are they are those people feeling like Transformational Journeys: Overcoming Obstacles They’re left behind. Th sometimes the sometimes the sentences that people hear when they try and stop smoking or drinking in a particular situation are you’ve changed. You know, like it’s a bad thing. But it’s not said in a positive way. People experience it on both sides of the coin in a negative way. The person who’s saying to their friend who’s had a stroke, who’s trying to not have another one, is saying, You’ve changed and I don’t like the way you’ve changed. And the person changing is hearing I’m changing and now people are having a bad experience because I’m changing. Like What’s all that about with that other person in our life? Jaemin (38:59) Such a great question. Can I, genuine question, can I take five minutes to answer that question? Bill Gasiamis (39:07) You can, absolutely. Jaemin (39:09) because I think this opens up a possibility for a window into a whole different experience of life if you’re willing to go down this thought experiment. Bill Gasiamis (39:23) I am. Let me switch my header off. It’s getting too hot in here. Jaemin (39:31) So I’ve just finished writing my first novel. It’s a five year project. I thought it was impossible. And then it out it wasn’t. It turns out I learned a lot about myself and the process of writing. And it’s been a thoroughly delightful experience. But great storytelling, great fiction writing typically follows some kind of hero’s journey trajectory. You’ve got a small, weak, lost, strange hero who for whatever reason says yes to a cold wood venture and embarks on a journey of self-discovery and eventually has to go do the thing that only they can do along the way they meet a wisdom character. You know, there’s a Gandalf, there’s a Yoda, there’s a Dumbledore, Mr. Miyagi, but eventually the hero’s got to go face the biggest fear and do the thing that’s impossible. And when they do, they come out the other side transformed and then they return home with that transformation and their whole world benefits. So, so it is the process of transformation. It’s the process of potential. It’s the process of destiny. It’s the process of seeing a person fulfilled in their experience of themselves. So a writer is bringing you in, in along for that journey. Now, if the writer transforms the hero magically or supernaturally, it’s a horrible story. You know, if the writer goes, you know, here’s the weak person. They went to sleep and they woke up the next day transformed. Who knows what happened. It was just, you’re like, really? What’s the point of that story? Like, that’s a horrible story. If the transformation happens in a way that’s supernatural or magic, it’s false. The transformation happens through overcoming of obstacles. The weakling becomes strong by overcoming resistance. And the resistance is almost always through the form of characters. So the writer says, stage, write the bully and to stage, write the villain, the parent, the trickster, the joker, the judge, the king, like, and so the hero doesn’t know the story is being written about them. And so experiences all these characters very personally and wishes the characters would go away. But the audience kind of sees the gift in the character, sees the opportunity. You know, when the audience sees a bully harassing a victim, what the audience is rooting for is that the victim would rise up and punch the bully in the nose. And something transformational happens if that victim ever does, you know, they actually then receive the bully’s gift. All along the bully had this gift of personal power delivered in the form of oppression. And because the victim had to find such deep strength that they didn’t even know existed to rise up and finally say this ends here, they’ll never be the victim again. And so in that way they’re transformed. So you could make a case to go, thanks, bully for being a good bully because you made my life so hard. I didn’t think it was possible to overcome you. Thank you. It’s not personal. So a writer then is not going to write an empathetic bully, you know, a very emotionally intelligent, compassionate, they’re going to write a thug. They’re going to write a dullard. They’re going to write someone who’s big and does not change. And even though the, the hero wants to bully the change. If the bully changes, if the bully goes to a spiritual retreat and comes home and change man and then apologizes and makes it up to the victim, it’s kind of nice, but the audience is going, but the victim didn’t have to become stronger in any way. So they’re still just as strong and the next bully is coming and they’re no better prepared. So all that to say, love, I love treating our own lives like this hero’s journey story. I love gamifying the experience. I love going. You know, this insecurity, a lot of people think if only I had a different experience at childhood, then I wouldn’t be so insecure now. If only there weren’t so many difficult people blocking my path, then it would be easier for me. Like, what, do you mean? Like that’s, that’s not the tragedy. That’s the setup. That’s how the game begins. Like that’s how the tensions created so that you have a gift of being able to overcome. So these people exist for you. And yes, they’re in your way. Great. Yes, they’re making it hard. Perfect. But we only play hard games. Like if you’re, you’re playing footy and it’s, you know, last year’s premieres versus the under 10s girls side and you win, you, that’s a very embarrassing experience. Like you don’t eat. That’s a horrible thing. You, know, this year’s premieres, you know, sorry, last year’s premieres versus the team that’s got undefeated this year and you win that game. You know, that’s, that’s a meaningful experience. and yeah, I love this idea that everyone comes into their twenties and thirties lost and confused. And most people are really upset about that. Wishing that their experience up till then had been different and feeling disqualified from a meaningful life because of what’s happened, because of who said this and who’s done that. But if you just zoom out and say it like a hero’s journey or a beautiful game, then then you realize, no, no, no, being lost and confused, oppressed, you know, that doesn’t disqualify you. That’s what qualifies you to go play. Now you can begin, now you can begin this journey of self-discovery to go all the way back to the beginning and see who you’ve always been all along. So it’s a very different way of thinking about life, but I’m constantly confronted with people who treat the stuff that’s happened to them as wounds. And the best you could ever hope for is that eventually you could bring healing to yourself and it become a visible scar that doesn’t really afflict you. Whereas this says, yeah, what if those things, what if life doesn’t happen to you? It happens for you. And the real gift is your own opportunity to rediscover who you’ve always been by overcoming obstacles and especially in the form of people and especially in the form of insecure people. who of course are going to make your journey difficult. Of course, you know, not everyone’s cheering you on. Eventually the heroes got to go alone. Eventually they’ve got to. If they don’t go alone, then they can’t do the thing that only they can do. The Hero’s Journey and Storytelling Bill Gasiamis (46:01) Yeah. Man, that was well well worth the f the the time that you allocated to answer it because it’s such an important part of recovery after anything. and In fact, I learnt about the Heroes Journey after my brain surgery. So we’re talking about I don’t know. I think I got out of hospital for after brain surgery in late 2014. And I think it was around 2017 I did a particular course that I was in. It was a behavioral modeling course and it was about modeling a behavior that we thought was one worth other people learning and repeating. And the The person who was running the course, awesome friend of mine and mentor and teacher, a gentleman called Marvin Oka, he spoke about the hero’s journey as part of this course to teach us about like how to tell a story. And I hadn’t grasped the concept very well. but because of that course, my first book was able to become a reality. It took four years for me to. make that happen. And I released it in twenty twenty twenty three, somewhere there. And since then I’ve done a bit of a deep dive into the hero’s journey and understanding how to take people through a story. And my next book is structured that way. There’s a moment where life is quote unquote normal and then there’s an event and then there’s everything, you know, there’s been a spanner thrown in the works and everything is not like it used to be. And now there is this post-traumatic growth experience that you can go on. And if you know you’re going on it, it’s easier to go on it. But some people are not aware that they might be going on this journey. They’re just programmed from a previous way of doing life that these things are all terrible and bad and they’re not good. And there’s no growth and there’s no learning and there’s no opportunity. But there but there is, but we just framed it. in our past way of thinking and that’s not applicable now, even though we’re still trying to apply it, apply it, apply it. And what you said about the the bully, I remember at school, if if I was a victim, bullies used to seek me out like like a mosquito knows who to go and sting, right? Jaemin (48:40) Yeah Bill Gasiamis (48:42) But then the first bully I punched in the nose was was it. That was the key to unlocking the whole how other people perceived me in those types of situations. And then none of the bullies turned up to have a go because they weren’t gonna get or or perhaps they saw that my response was going to affect their insecurities about themselves. Right. and realistically when I was going through stroke, stopping smoking, stopping drinking, stopping attending the particular venues where smoking and drinking happened so that I can avoid smoking and drinking. It meant that certain people couldn’t associate with me anymore. And It’s not that they were bullies, but when I learnt how to manage that situation once, the others that now I that I now interact with don’t require us to interact in a way that includes smoking and drinking in a particular venue. We can have just as meaningful interactions without the smoking and drinking, without being in that venue, just being in a different location. Doing a different thing. And and there’s no n and and no one feels bad about that interaction. I don’t feel about bad about it because I’m not partaking in something that the other person wants me to partake in. And the other person’s not feeling bad because they’re partaking in something that I’m not partaking in. And we’re there for the same reason. We’re there for the catch up. We’re not there for the smoking and the drinking. Jaemin (50:26) Yeah, and that’s often the way when you break through an archetypal character, a bully is a great example. It’s not uncommon that there becomes a level of respect, a mutual respect post that violence or post the standing up for yourself. And it’s not unheard of that bullies and victims become friends and respect each other. And so there Bill Gasiamis (50:50) Mm. Jaemin (50:50) must become a line in the sandwich like, whatever it costs me, If I, you know, the smoking drinking example, if you never talked to me ever again, if you cannot, then that will be okay. But I cannot go here ever again. And I won’t and you cannot make me and I won’t be made. And so there it is. Great. That your audience is watching that cheering. Yes, transformed. Never be victim again. And then on the other side of that, it’s often surprising what happens in those relationships. And it’s not uncommon for mutual respect, even though It’s not guaranteed and you have to be willing to let go of it completely. Because yeah, the hero’s got to go alone. Bill Gasiamis (51:33) we we’re talking about it like, you know, you know, we’re kinda having a a t a philosophical conversation, an intellectual conversation. We’re doing all of this stuff. And I remember being literally on the football pitch fighting with a kid, and then once we’d thrown the punches and everyone had done what they had to do in that moment, it was are we are we done? All good? And and it was. We were done. And we were all good. And it was instinctive. Like I wasn’t even ten years old or eleven years old or something. And yeah, then we got along forever. Understanding Bullies and Personal Growth Jaemin (52:08) A quicker side, but on the very same thread, if you keep thinking about characters like archetypes, do you know the hardest, but the most exciting, the most wonderful and the most, the biggest opportunity that the person in your life or the people in your life to treat as characters, not the bullies, any idea what makes the top of my list in terms of the characters with the biggest opportunity for growth. Bill Gasiamis (52:39) Just I’m kinda drawn to say family, my family, but Jaemin (52:42) family and parents make the top of the list. And I think Bill Gasiamis (52:46) Yeah, right. Jaemin (52:47) Sigmund Freud’s greatest contribution was that the nest is the hardest challenge for the human to break free from the nest is number one. And all this function ultimately comes from the nest, the familial relationships, exerting unconscious pressures from the parent of the child and the child with the parent outliving their usefulness. And so But in the same way, like no victim when they’re being bullied wants to see it like an archer, like wants to say it like a gift. They want to be rescued or they want the bully to change. It’s impossible to face a bully. Same with the parents. It’s like, don’t understand. This is my dad. You don’t understand. Like it’s just, you know, blood is thicker than water. You got to be there for family. Like it’s just how it’s Bill Gasiamis (53:30) Mm. Jaemin (53:30) always been. The way my parents make me feel like no one wants that tension. and would hope that the tension just goes away. But if you see it like a great story, it provides the greatest opportunity for your own sovereignty. You know, the bully’s gift is personal power. The parent’s gift is sovereignty. Because when you were born into their world, it’s like you’re born into a kingdom, king and queen on the throne, and it’s their arbitrary rules. In this world, this is how we do it. You don’t like it, bugger off down the street. But here, you know, do this, don’t do that. Why, dad? Don’t ask why, just do what I say. So the parental relationship, parents are right even when they’re wrong. And that’s a really important distinction for the nature of those relationships. And so you are a subject inside a kingdom, their rules, their map of the world, their right, even when they’re wrong. And it’s incredibly hard to break free from that to create your own map of the world and Bill Gasiamis (54:29) Mm. Jaemin (54:29) for you to be the king. But if you see it like a setup and a game, well then, Freud says, you must live as though your father is dead. You must depose the king. So Bill Gasiamis (54:42) Mm. Jaemin (54:42) if the king gets off the throne, if the king bows down to you, if the king goes, you your map of the world now is better than my map of the world, your way of thinking is better than my way of thinking, then there’s no challenge, there’s no resistance to overcome. So my favorite way of describing the role of the parents then is actually, It’s not to love and support and empower. They might do all that, but their central function in the hero’s journey is to confuse you about who you really are. Bill Gasiamis (55:12) Wow. Jaemin (55:13) so that the game can begin. Like everyone comes into their 20s lost and confused and the primary confuses our parents because they impose their map of the world. They have their own sense of who you are and what you ought to do. And it doesn’t suit a single person to be born into the family they’re born into. And yet here you are having to adapt and fit in to a pre-existing ecosystem with rules, values, culture, and then you’re given that name. So it’s like, You are this, this is who you are. It’s like, no, it’s just a bit of Bill Gasiamis (55:46) Wow. Jaemin (55:47) language like Jaemin Fra- I’m not Jaemin Fraser. What do you mean? Like, I was born into a family and those words were put on me. That’s not who I am. And so the confusion of growing up thinking that’s exactly who I am, this is the limit of my experience of life. And I cling to this as my whole certainty. is so wonderful because it’s the ultimate resistance to break out of, to examine the structure of that, to examine the confusion and really go back and reparent yourself and really be the one who actually knows who you’ve always been and to nurture that into the real world and then to become sovereign. And you know you’re sovereign when you become the one who’s right, even when they’re wrong. So you’ve got friends and family saying, what do you mean? It’s not. You need to be able to have a smoke. got to be able to drink. That’s what everyone does. Not in my kingdom, we don’t. In my kingdom, Bill Gasiamis (56:39) Mm. Jaemin (56:39) we don’t smoke and we don’t drink. You’re an idiot. That’s stupid. Well, I’m the king and this is my sovereignty. And if you want to come play in my world, this is how it works. And so, so many people are faced with those challenges. Then they keep pulling back from the edge because of their relational cost, hoping, wishing the world would go easier on them. But if you see it like a story in a game, it’s like, it’s a setup. It’s all a setup. So you could be the one who unconfuses yourself by having to overcome the relational resistance in your world and discover who you’ve always been. Bill Gasiamis (57:15) And we know it innately because we’ve all had that dad, mom, whomever, like I did what I had to do when I was in your house. Now this is my house. Now they this is how it applies. If you don’t Jaemin (57:26) Yeah. Yeah. Bill Gasiamis (57:27) like it, you don’t like it. Like I’ve actually thrown my dad out of my house in my twenties, when we moved out because my wife and I got married and we had kids and whatever, and they’d come over and visit to see the grandkid. You know, my dad would do the whole over helicopter grandparenting, you know. You know, the kids cold or the kids this and the kids that, you know, we lived this with this kid twenty four hours a day, seven days a week for five, six years, you know, like we knew its needs, you know, my my son’s needs. And my dad just wouldn’t have it that we what we were saying wasn’t that we were saying was correct or was okay or was fine or whatever, you know, we were it was everythi

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Overcoming Insecurity in Midlife with Jaemin FrazerIn this episode of The Thoughtful Entrepreneur, host Josh Elledge interviews Jaemin Frazer—Founder of The Insecurity Project, author of Unhindered, and host of the Unhindered Podcast. Jaemin shares why insecurity often peaks in midlife, how early childhood beliefs silently shape adult behavior, and what ambitious professionals can do to break free from self-doubt. His insights offer a practical and compassionate roadmap for anyone ready to confront insecurity and step into a more confident, purposeful version of themselves.How Insecurity Shapes Midlife and How to Overcome ItJaemin explains that insecurity is universal, rooted in beliefs formed before age seven, and often goes unnoticed until midlife when energy diminishes and the “push through it” strategy stops working. In this season of life, many high achievers discover that the same insecurity that once fueled their ambition is now causing anxiety, exhaustion, strained relationships, and a sense of emotional unraveling. He emphasizes that insecurity is not a flaw, but a solvable problem—one that requires awareness, objectivity, and a structured process for dismantling limiting beliefs.He describes insecurity as “rocket fuel”: powerful enough to drive early success, but ultimately toxic if relied on for too long. Through Jaemin's seven-practice framework, individuals learn to deconstruct these beliefs, examine the stories they tell themselves, and replace insecurity-driven motivation with clarity and intrinsic purpose. This transformation allows midlifers to shift from proving themselves to actually becoming themselves—living with more peace, energy, and authenticity.Jaemin also highlights the importance of vulnerability and finding the right support. Not all helpers are equipped to guide someone through insecurity, and he stresses the value of working with a coach or therapist who provides objectivity, structure, and accountability. He invites listeners to access his book Unhindered, his long-running podcast, and his one-on-one coaching programs to continue their journey toward becoming truly “unhindered.”About Jaemin FrazerJaemin Frazer is the Founder of The Insecurity Project, an internationally recognized coach, author, and speaker known for his expertise in helping high performers overcome insecurity. Through his book Unhindered, his 300+ episode podcast, and his structured coaching methodology, Jaemin guides individuals through deep personal transformation and lasting emotional freedom. Connect with him on LinkedIn: Jaemin FrazerAbout The Insecurity ProjectThe Insecurity Project (jaeminfrazer.com) provides coaching, tools, and educational resources designed to help individuals overcome insecurity and live with greater confidence, purpose, and emotional clarity. Through books, podcasts, speaking engagements, and immersive coaching programs, Jaemin helps midlifers break free from long-standing limiting beliefs and step into their highest potential.Links Mentioned in This EpisodeJaemin Frazer LinkedIn ProfileThe Insecurity Project WebsiteKey Episode HighlightsWhy insecurity is universal and rooted in early childhoodHow insecurity becomes more visible and disruptive in midlifeThe concept of insecurity as “rocket fuel” for high achieversJaemin's structured seven-practice framework for overcoming insecurityThe importance of objectivity...

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Ever ask yourself, Am I a good person? What if trying to prove our goodness causes more harm than help? James and guest Jaemin Frazer explore.

Many high achievers spend decades excelling at games they never chose. James and guest Jaemin Frazer uncover the self-betrayal behind the success.

In this Leading to Profit episode, Diana Hooker–Neuro Encoding Specialist and financial strategist–reveals how to delete mental blocks sabotaging your growth. Diana Hooker is a multifaceted professional dedicated to empowering individuals and businesses to reach their full potential. As a Neuro Encoding Specialist, she leverages neuroscience-backed techniques to help clients reprogram their internal dialogue and build resilience. With experience and knowledge in accounting and tax preparation, Diana provides strategic financial guidance, ensuring her clients' businesses are compliant and poised for growth. Key Takeaways: Reframing Limiting Beliefs: Identifying and transforming subconscious beliefs formed in childhood that may sabotage success. Emotional State Management: Utilising techniques such as movement, music, and visualisation to shift emotional states and make better decisions. Intentional Focus: Combining gratitude and positive emotion to focus on desired outcomes, leading to powerful results. Practical Strategies: Implementing actionable steps to overcome mental blocks and achieve business goals. Discover how Diana's integrative approach can help you unlock your business potential by reprogramming limiting beliefs and fostering a mindset geared toward growth and resilience.   Resources:  Episode 260 Jaemin Frazer: https://profithive.com.au/jaemin-frazer-and-kevin-bees/ Book Diana: https://callwithdiana.com/ Diana's site: https://livingyourgreatness.net/ Diana's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diana-hooker-04517594/ If you want to create a reliable cash flow for your business, I have some tools and resources that can help. Take the Profit Scorecard (3 minutes) and identify where you are leaking profit now – click here.

In this episode of Grow a Small Business, host Troy Trewin interviews Jaemin Frazer, founder of The Insecurity Project, He shares his 15-year journey of turning personal and professional setbacks into success. Starting in 2010, he scaled to 5 full-time equivalents and 30 contractors but faced a $250,000 debt when the model failed. By restructuring, Jaemin now works just 24 hours weekly with his wife, from anywhere in the world, generating impactful results globally. His approach treats personal insecurity as a solvable problem, supported by six books and his innovative coaching framework, empowering ambitious midlifers to eradicate self limiting beliefs so they can show up to life at their best where it matters most. Other Resources: Leverage: How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve Unhindered: The seven essential practices for overcoming insecurity Elegantly simple solutions to complex people problems The Self-Permission Method: How to succeed at life without using self-discipline The One Minute Coach. 356 Thought-provoking insights to start your day 12 Coaching Conversations Every Disciple Must Have Why would you wait any longer to start living the lifestyle you signed up for? Balance your health, wealth, relationships and business growth. And focus your time and energy and make the most of this year. Let's get into it by clicking here.   Troy delves into our guest's startup journey, their perception of success, industry reconsideration, and the pivotal stress point during business expansion. They discuss the joys of small business growth, vital entrepreneurial habits, and strategies for team building, encompassing wins, blunders, and invaluable advice.   And a snapshot of the final five Grow A Small Business Questions: What do you think is the hardest thing in growing a small business? According to Jaemin Frazer, the hardest part is backing yourself. It requires resilience, resourcefulness, and staying true to your vision, even when faced with doubts or challenges. What's your favorite business book that has helped you the most? According to Jaemin Frazer, his favorite business book is "Key Person of Influence" by Daniel Priestley. He highlights its transformative impact on understanding business systems and structure. He also mentions other influential reads like "Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins and "The 4-Hour Workweek" by Tim Ferriss. Are there any great podcasts or online learning resources you'd recommend to help grow a small business? According to Jaemin Frazer, he highly recommends the Tim Ferriss podcast and the Key Person of Influence podcast by Glenn Carlson for professional development. What tool or resource would you recommend to grow a small business? According to Jaemin Frazer, ScoreApp is a powerful tool for growing a small business. This quiz-based lead generation platform effectively gathers data and engages prospects while converting leads more efficiently. What advice would you give yourself on day one of starting out in business? According to Jaemin Frazer, he would give no advice to his past self. He believes in the importance of learning from struggles without shortcuts, as those experiences add meaning and depth to the journey. Book a 20-minute Growth Chat with Troy Trewin to see if you qualify for our upcoming course. Don't miss out on this opportunity to take your small business to new heights! Enjoyed the podcast? Please leave a review on iTunes or your preferred platform. Your feedback helps more small business owners discover our podcast and embark on their business growth journey.     Quotable quotes from our special Grow A Small Business podcast guest: Success is a lifestyle built on purpose, not a race to exhaustion – Jaemin Frazer You can't build something meaningful without first backing yourself – Jaemin Frazer Insecurity is solvable, but it demands you confront what you've long avoided – Jaemin Frazer  

James and guest Jaemin Frazer explore a more sustainable way to succeed.

High performance doesn't come from brute force, but from inner mindset alignment. James and guest Jaemin Frazer explore a more sustainable way to succeed.

Are you tired of constantly fighting against yourself to do all the things you should be doing in terms of exercise, diet, work, finances, and relationships? Is your whole success strategy based on pushing through and just getting it done, whether you feel like it or not? Do you constantly judge yourself for not trying harder, being better, or doing more?   In this episode, Jaemin Frazer, an award-winning life coach, challenges the concept of self-discipline that business owners implement in their daily routines. He shares how, through his self-permission method, business owners can perform better with less effort and energy.   Jaemin is an award-winning life coach and author. He is the founder of the Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up in life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's leading personal development coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity.   Key Topics Rebuild Trust in Yourself: Confronting dangers or risks allows business growth and more beneficial decisions for you and your business. The Self-Permission Method: We often fear what failure brings out. With self-permission, you allow yourself to commit mistakes without the fear of failure and cutting yourself short with harsh or unnecessary methods.  Self-discipline vs. Self-Permission: Business Success and Profitability follow when business owners acknowledge the risks and dangers that come with their businesses. Resources:  Jaemin's site (https://jaeminfrazer.com/) Jaemin's LinkedIn (https://au.linkedin.com/in/jaeminfrazer) The Unhindered Podcast (https://jaeminfrazer.com/podcast) If you want to create a reliable cash flow for your business, I have some tools and resources that can help.   Take the Profit Scorecard (3 minutes) and identify where you are leaking profit now – click here.  

“To discipline yourself is to manage yourself, and you only manage that which you don't trust. If you've ever been managed in a workplace scenario, you've made a mistake in the past, oversight has come down hard on you and gone look, based on your past performance, we can't give you as much rope as we did before, so what we're going to do is restrict you, and we're going to get productivity out of you by managing you. And if you've ever had that happen, you kind of understand it, but it is always unfair and it is always a misunderstanding.”Jaemin Frazer Top Five Tips For Upgrading From Self-discipline to self-permission 1. Accept that self-discipline is to manage yourself from a place of mistrust2. Learn how to rebuild trust with yourself3. Deal with your neediness4. Review all the games you are involved in5. Create winning avatars for each game you want to winTIME STAMP SUMMARY03:30 How self-discipline is often rooted in a fundamental mistrust of ourselves08:00 Examining past mistakes and misunderstandings is key to mending this vital relationship.15:00 Transformative power of internalizing validation and approval23:00 Channelling into an avatar allows you to know your purpose Where to find Jaemin?Website                           https://jaeminfrazer.com/ LinkedIn                          https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaeminfrazer  Jaemin Frazer BioJaemin is an award-winning life coach and author. He is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's best personal development coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity.Jaemin's books include: ·  Unhindered - The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity, ·  Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems, ·  Leverage – How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve, and The One Minute Coach, based on the popular ‘One-minute coach' radio segment heard by over 750,000 listeners daily. And the brand new “The Self-Permission Method. How to succeed in life without using self-discipline” Jaemin is a dynamic speaker who skilfully blends a lifetime of experience in leadership and coaching with his passion for human behavioural science and peak performance. His pragmatic and direct approach to vulnerable subjects about mental health and wellbeing are a breath of fresh air and his work is known for producing lasting results.   With over 15,000 coaching hours under his belt, he is able to draw from a deep and rich source of lived experience, helping ambitious people improve the quality of their life in the areas that matter most. -- 

Want to be free from insecurity? Well Jaemin, the One Minute Coach, is your man! Jaemin coaches people each day through life's challenges. But in this crazy world, where everything is constantly trying to get your attention, Jaemin is passionate about not adding to the noise and instead, giving people something they actually need. And it all started with Switchfoot.To get in touch with host Aiden Grant, email aideng@hotmail.com or head to Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join Dr. Joe Vitale for another great episode of Zero Limits Living! This episode, Dr. Joe has special guest, professional speaker, coach, and author, Jaemin Frazer! Jaemin is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely regarded as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity. Jaemin was recently voted the best personal development coach in Eastern Australia. This year he released a new best seller, The Self-Permission Method, available now!As Always Expect Miracles! Be sure to Like, Comment, and Subscribe for more Luxe Content!https://mailchi.mp/luxemedianetworks/luxe-media-officialWatch Last Weeks Episode: https://youtu.be/LVssmnA7rjwYou May Enjoy This Podcast: https://youtu.be/2z3VCqnnTykCheck Out Our Channel for More Content: www.youtube.com/channel/UCBTg3dY8ukEdtIzQtVuYFJQFollow Jaemin Frazer on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaeminfrazer/Follow Dr. Joe Vitale on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjoevitale/Follow Us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/luxemediastudiosofficial/?hl=enFor Sponsorship & Advertisement Opportunities with Luxe Media Studio Contact:chrisheinze@luxemedianetworks.com

This week we're talking with Jaemin Frazer, the visionary behind "The Self-Permission Method," to uncover his controversial yet potentially transformative approach for fulfilling Founder potential. In ScaleHQ's latest podcast episode, we sit down with Jaemin Frazer, the award-winning mindset coach and author of "The Self-Permission Method: How to Succeed in Life Without Using Self-Discipline." Dive into our compelling discussion that challenges the conventional belief that self-discipline is the cornerstone of success. But what if self-discipline is only the key to unlocking 70% of your desired outcomes? Jaemin introduces his groundbreaking perspective suggesting the last 30% comes not from pushing harder but from getting on better terms with yourself through self-permission which removes barriers and enables flow. In this enlightening conversation, Jaemin unpacks: The common misconceptions around self-discipline why it might not be the magic fix for motivation and success we all thought it was. An introduction to the Self-Permission Method, Jaemin's revolutionary approach that encourages evaluating what's creating resistance and why, to allow a mental repositioning that allows a state of flow. Practical insights on how listeners can apply the Self-Permission Method to achieve their goals and actually enjoy the ride, boosting their happiness and contentment along the way. Real-life examples and actionable tips from Jaemin on weaving this approach into your day-to-day and big decision moments around your business and personal life. By the end of this episode, you'll be looking at motivation and performance through a new lens, realising that hitting 100% of your potential is more about getting yourself out of the way, rather than just hard graft and pushing sh#t uphill. Tune in now to start your journey toward unlocking that elusive 30% of your potential that self-discipline alone can't reach. Here's Why' on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or our website:

Who makes a good life coach? What does a life coach do? The answers are unpacked in this episode of the Australian Property Investment Podcast where we interview Jaemin Frazer. He is an award-winning author and life coach and as you listen to this episode, he'll learn more about his thoughts on why swapping out self-discipline for giving ourselves permission can lead to real success and happiness. He talks about the challenges and rewards of looking at life differently, especially when you hit midlife.Jaemin gives listeners easy-to-follow advice on trusting themselves more and relying less on others' approval. Tune in to hear Jaemin's unique take on making personal breakthroughs and finding fulfillment in ways you might not expect. Timestamps 00:00 - Intro 01:54 - Addressing Exhaustion and the Need for Change07:02 - Challenging the Self-Discipline Paradigm10:12 - High Performance and Gentleness with Oneself12:30 - The Role of Self-Sabotage and Self-Love22:02 - Preventing Burnout and Embracing Change28:28 - Redefining Personal Discipline Through Self-Permission34:17 - The Danger of Following Misaligned Goals41:27 - Addressing Childhood Narratives and Self-Trust52:01 - The Four Key Areas for Midlife UpgradeAbout Jaemin: Jaemin is an award winning author, TEDx speaker, and the founder of The Insecurity Project. He specialises in providing thought leadership for entrepreneurs, leaders and business owners on the subject of eradicating hidden and unresolved insecurity.  He is widely recognised as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity. Connect with Jaemin: Follow Jaemin on LinkedInFollow Jaemin's FacebookFollow Jaemin's Instagram Visit Jaemin's websiteAbout Aaron:Aaron-Christie David founded Atelier Wealth, a Mortgage & Finance Association of Australia (MFAA) approved Mortgage Broker. Aaron's focus is clear – supporting property investors to make confident decisions to build their property portfolio. He has been recognised in the MPA Top 100 Broker rankings for the last three years.With over 10 years of financial services experience, with a career spanning Wizard Home Loans and Commonwealth Bank, Aaron's decision to become a broker was to help more Australians fearlessly buy investment properties to achieve intergenerational wealth.Connect with Aaron: Visit the website: https://atelierwealth.com.au/ Follow the Australian Investment Property Podcast's Official Instagram account Follow Aaron on Facebook Follow Aaron on LinkedIn Subscribe to Atelier Wealth's YouTube Channel

In this podcast, we delve into the transformative journey of overcoming personal insecurities with Jaimen Frazer, founder of The Insecurity Project. Frazer, once a church pastor turned life coach, shares his profound insights into identifying and dismantling the deep-rooted insecurities that hold many back from their true potential. With a seven-step framework, he guides listeners through a pragmatic approach to not just manage, but solve insecurities that often stem from childhood narratives. This episode not only promises to uncover hidden fears but also offers actionable strategies to rewrite one's story, leading to a life unhindered by doubt, fear, and insecurity. Frazer's journey from discovering his own insecurities to developing a model for others to overcome theirs is not just inspirational but a testament to the solvable nature of what many assume to be a perpetual struggle. Get ready to explore the depths of personal transformation with an expert who's devoted his life to empowering individuals to live their best, most secure lives.Links:Unhindered. The seven essential practices for overcoming insecurity. The insecurity test for lifeThe insecurity test for business.  https://developcoaching.co.uk If you'd like to discuss fast-tracking your results, book in a free call - https://www.developcoaching.co.uk/schedule/ If you'd like help growing your business join my private Facebook group - https://m.facebook.com/groups/constructiontradesaccelerator

Join Dr. Joe Vitale for another great episode of Zero Limits Living! Today Dr. Joe has special guest Author, TEDx Speaker & Coach, Jaemin Frazer. Jaemin is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specialises in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognised as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity. Jaemin was recently voted the best personal development coach in Eastern Australia.As Always Expect Miracles! Be sure to Like, Comment, and Subscribe for more Luxe Content!https://mailchi.mp/luxemedianetworks/luxe-media-officialWatch Last Weeks Episode: https://youtu.be/vrpkj-EzROkYou May Enjoy This Podcast: https://youtu.be/2_ErQIr3LEoCheck Out Our Channel for More Content: www.youtube.com/channel/UCBTg3dY8ukEdtIzQtVuYFJQFollow Jaemin Frazer on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaeminfrazer/Follow Dr. Joe Vitale on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjoevitale/Follow Us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/luxemediastudiosofficial/?hl=enFor Sponsorship & Advertisement Opportunities with Luxe Media Studio Contact:chrisheinze@luxemedianetworks.com

We are all somehow insecure. James and guest Jaemin Frazer from The Insecurity Project explore overcoming insecurity and embracing your worth.

Last week's episode, Chris & Filly spoke to Jaemin Frazer, founder of The Insecurity Project. In today's episode, Filly reshares her miraculous histamine/heartburn healing experience after working on deep and hidden insecurities and self-limiting beliefs while she was working with Jaemin. She covers: How physical health issues are a result of a broken rapport with self How I initially healed 15 years of chronic heartburn (which had an underlying histamine intolerance component) using lab testing, supplements and food as medicine How the same symptoms flared up 5 years later during COVID, and this time NOTHING physical healed my symptoms How my deep, hidden unconscious belief of being weak & incapable crept into how I thought about my body - I didn't trust it was capable of being whole and functional How this belief was the ultimate ROOT-root-cause of chronic histamine and heartburn flare-ups (and NOT the food!) How my histamine and heartburn resolved when I was brave enough to let pimples show up on my face, and not care what others thought of me!! 3-days of energetic rippling light and love that engulfed my gut - that deeply cleansed and healed me Why you MUST address all “bodies” of yourself, when suffering with your body burnout - the physical, mental-emotional, energetic, spiritual and the unconscious bodies. Current experiences with a histamine “flareup”. Show Note Links: Blog post to how I physically healed from heartburn Podcast of my full journey resolving insecurity with Jaemin Frazer Take Chris & Filly's Ending Body Burnout Assessment here Check out how you can work with Chris & Filly Functional Medicine here Disclaimer: This Ending Body Burnout Show podcast and any information, advice, opinions or statements within it do not constitute medical, health care or other professional advice, and are provided for general information purposes only. All care is taken in the preparation of the information in this Podcast. Chris & Filly Functional Medicine does not make any representations or give any warranties about its accuracy, reliability, completeness or suitability for any particular purpose. This Podcast and any information, advice, opinions or statements within it are not to be used as a substitute for professional medical, psychology, psychiatric or other mental health care or natural medicine health care. Chris & Filly Functional Medicine recommends you seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Inform your doctor of any changes you may make to your lifestyle and discuss these with your doctor. Do not disregard medical advice or delay visiting a medical professional because of something you hear in this Podcast. To the extent permissible by law Chris & Filly Functional Medicine and the Ending Body Burnout Show Podcast will not be liable for any expenses, losses, damages (including indirect or consequential damages) or costs which might be incurred as a result of the information being inaccurate or incomplete in any way and for any reason. No part of this Podcast can be reproduced, redistributed, published, copied or duplicated in any form without the prior permission of Chris & Filly Functional Medicine.

If there was one thing you think society should talk more about, what would it be?“How eradicating insecurity can lead to a life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs”_______I'm gonna be honest - I was a bit nervous about interviewing today's guest. I wasn't sure if he was the ‘right fit' for this show. I did my usual research in the weeks leading up to the interview - a healthy amount of stalking, reading some of his work, listening to his podcast. And whilst I thought his messages were great, I wasn't convinced on his delivery. I thought he seemed ‘too nice' to be that genuine. He's softly spoken. His words are deliberate. But what I found when we met & he peeled back the layers was a really fascinating human who's had a diverse and interesting life. I'm talking about Jaemin Frazer - a life coach and author. He's the founder of The Insecurity Project and specialises in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely known as a leading voice on the subject of personal insecurity and I hope you enjoy this fascinating conversation he takes us on. Jaemin's books include: Unhindered - The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming InsecurityElegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People ProblemsLeverage – How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserveThe One Minute Coach, based on the popular ‘One-minute coach' radio segment heard by over 750,000 listeners daily.For more information about Jaemin, check out these places;-Website: https://jaeminfrazer.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaeminfrazer/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaeminfrazer/Head to michellejcox.com for more information about the ONE QUESTION podcast, your host or today's guestsConnect with Michelle on Linkedin here:- @MichelleJCoxConnect with Michelle on Instagram here:- @michellejcoxConnect with Michelle on Facebook here - @michellejcoxAND, if you have a burning topic you'd love people to talk more about, or know someone who'd be great to come on the One Question podcast, please get in touch;- hello@michellejcox.com

Jaemin is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity.Jaemin is the author of Unhindered - The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity, Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems, and The One Minute Coach, 365 thought-provoking insights to start your day.Jaemin's life work is represented in his ground-breaking model around the process of eradicating insecurity from your life. His conviction is that not only is insecurity a solvable problem, but it is also our most important adult work to free ourselves from the limiting beliefs of our childhood. Jaemin's Website: https://jaeminfrazer.com/Jaemin's Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/beunhinderedJaemin's Book: https://www.amazon.com/Unhindered-Essential-Practices-Overcoming-Insecurity/Become a Patreon Member today! Get access to podcast bonus segments, ask questions to podcast guests, and even suggest future podcast guests while supporting Warwick: https://www.patreon.com/journeyonpodcastWarwick has over 650 Online Training Videos that are designed to create a relaxed, connected, and skilled equine partner. Start your horse training journey today!https://videos.warwickschiller.com/Check us out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WarwickschillerfanpageWatch hundreds of free Youtube Videos: https://www.youtube.com/warwickschillerFollow us on Instagram: @warwickschiller

It's something a lot of people would never admit to being. Insecurity manifests itself in many ways but can have a devastating effect if left unchecked and unresolved. Jaemin Frazer has made it his life's mission to help people overcome their insecurities. He's founder of The Insecurity Project and author of ‘Unhindered: The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity'. In this episode Jamein outlines those seven practices to unlock yourself from self-doubt and fear. Business Essentials Daily is produced by: SoundCartelsoundcartel.com.au+61 3 9882 8333See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Show InformationHost: Jay FranzeCo-Host: Keith SensingGuest: Jaemin FrazerAired: December 21, 2022Join us tonight as we discuss showing up as your best with Jaemin Frazer.Additional Show InformationJaeminFrazer.comFranze and FriendsFranzeandFriends.comFacebookInstagramYouTubeJay FranzeJayFranze.comSupport the show

Jaemin Frazer is back at TYP and this time we talk about not being (feeling) enough, self-betrayal, getting in our own way, self-permission, insecurity, self-doubt and how to be kinder to ourselves. Jaemin makes great use of story and metaphor in the way he teaches and talks, meaning what-can-be complicated topics are easier to understand and relate to. He is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specialises in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I don't know anyone who has not encountered a moment of insecurity, do you? Think about the first time you saw your wife. Did you feel confident or were you a little insecure? Nah, you got that one. How about going for that huge goal you have for your life, like starting your own business or quitting a job to start on a life's passion? The point is we have moments of doubt, fear and uncertainty, that's natural but what if these moments become the saboteur of everything you have ever dreamed of and wanted? Jaemin Frazer is a TedX Speaker, a world-class coach and the founder of The Insecurity Project specializing in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally about personal insecurity. Jaemin is the author of several books including Unhindered - The 7 Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity and his One-minute coach radio segment is heard by over 750,000 listeners daily. In this episode we discuss... where insecurity comes from can we actually live without insecurity? 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity how to change your beliefs the impact of insecurity on relationships how to escape the human condition and so much more. To reach Jaemin:

On this episode of The Author Factor Podcast I am having a conversation with author and founder of The Insecurity Project, Jaemin Frazer. Jaemin specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. With over 15,000 coaching hours under his belt, he is able to draw from a deep and rich source of lived experience, helping ambitious people improve the quality of their life in the areas that matter most. Jaemin is a TEDx speaker and the author of five books including Unhindered - The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity.Learn more about Jaemin by visiting JaeminFrazer.com.

In this episode Mat chats with Jaemin Frazer, the founder of The Insecurity Project and a coach who specialises in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. This conversation led to some profound insights being shared by Jaemin about how underneath all patterns of human dysfunction lies limiting and disempowering beliefs about ourselves. Jaemin walked step-by-step through why he believes insecurity is a soluble problem and that our fears about not being good enough, not being worthy of love or acceptance or somehow being inadequate cause us to either run or hide so that we are never ‘found out'. He also took a mini-dive on the 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity from his book, Unhindered. The reality is, opinions are the lowest form of not knowing anything, and running or hiding from insecurities always leads us to live in a way that is completely separated from the life we'd hope for. On The Unleashing Potential Podcast, we interview progressive individuals who are unleashing their potential on the world around them. We take a deep dive on how they got to where they are, what lessons they have learned along the way, and how their experiences can impact us all. This episode feels a little bit special. Put your limiting beliefs and prejudices to one side, plug in and be ready to be confronted. And as always, if you like it, feel free to share it.

Jaemin Frazer is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specialises in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity and is the author of Unhindered - The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity, Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems. Jaemin and I spoke about why and how we're so insecure (and what we might do about it), finding our identity in our job (good or bad?), seeking approval from people who don't love us, when a ‘group' becomes a cult, blokes becoming more vulnerable, backlash from leaving the ministry (he was an ordained Minister), being self-sufficient and we even disagreed on a few things (graciously of course - lol). Enjoy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Encouragement Engineering podcast offers listeners the ability to combat the negativity that inundates our daily lives with a positive perspective and positive actions. Our guest today is Jaemin Frazer. Jaemin is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity. Jaemin is the author of several personal development books including: · Unhindered - The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity · Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems · The One Minute Coach, based on the popular ‘One-minute coach' radio segment heard by over 750,000 listeners daily. Jaemin is a dynamic speaker who skillfully blends a lifetime of experience in leadership and coaching with his passion for human behavioral science and peak performance. His pragmatic and direct approach to vulnerable subjects about mental health and wellbeing are a breath of fresh air and his work is known for producing lasting results. Listen as we discuss: · Change · Personal Power · Beliefs · Overcoming Website: www.jaeminfrazer.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaeminfrazer/ FB - https://www.facebook.com/jaeminfrazerofficial Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaeminfrazer/ Be sure to follow The Encouragement Engineering podcast at https://encouragementengineer.com or https://bobbrummspeaks.com

This week on ‘It's More Than Money' Kye talks with Author, TEDx Speaker, Business Coach, and Founder of The Insecurity Project, Jaemin Frazer.

Jaemin is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/shelor-select/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Author, TEDx Speaker & Coach, Jaemin Frazer, the founder of The Insecurity Project talks about where insecurity comes from, how it causes limiting beliefs, the role social media plays, how insecurities come into play in relationships, using insecurity to grow and practices he uses to identify the origins of insecurity. Key Topics 0:00 - Introduction 1:23 - Jaemin walks us through what brought him to this point in his life helping people with insecurity. 8:25 - Jaemin talks about where insecurity comes from. 10:13 - Jaemin discusses how past experiences can cause limiting beliefs. 11:43 - Jaemin gives his views on insecurity within children. 14:08 - Jaemin talks about the role social media plays in insecurity. 17:00 - Jaemin goes into how insecurity plays into relationships. 18:36 - Jaemin details steps people can take to utilize their insecurities to grow. 22:21 - Jaemin explains practice he uses to identify the origins of peoples insecurities. 26:52 - Jaemin talks about his new book ‘Leverage…'. 30:07 - Jaemin lets everyone know how they can get in touch with him. Links From The Episode https://jaeminfrazer.com/ https://jaeminfrazer.com/podcast https://twitter.com/JaeminFrazer https://www.instagram.com/jaeminfrazer/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Episode #198:  The road map for how to eradicate insecurity from your lives.Bio:Jaemin Frazer is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity.  Jaemin is the author of Unhindered - The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity, Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems, and The One Minute Coach, based on the popular ‘One-minute coach' radio segment heard by over 750,000 listeners daily.Contact Jaemin:Website: https://jaeminfrazer.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaeminfrazer Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jaeminfrazerofficial Twitter: https://twitter.com/JaeminFrazer Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaeminfrazerContact JM:Email: info@letsgowin.comWebsite: letsgowin.comFacebook: facebook.com/letsgowin365Instagram: instagram.com/letsgowin365LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/letsgowin365Twitter: twitter.com/letsgowin365TikTok: tiktok.com/@letsgowin365YouTube: youtube.com/channel/UCOzeKQJkH4NiBG5mw390R-A

We are back this week! After having one of the kids becoming really sick it ruined our chance to record a new episode. Our youngest Mason was having stomach issues and it was not a pretty sight. Kristine is on her way to the SD County fair to do a styled photo shoot for her wedding business. https://sdfair.com/ We started a Radio Station called K2 RADIO. https://live365.com/station/K2-RADIO-a04551 Then on the show we had another guest join us from Australia. Jaemin Frazer.aemin's life work is represented in his groundbreaking model around the process for eradicating insecurity from your life. His conviction is that not only is insecurity a solvable problem, it is our most important adult work to free ourselves from the limiting beliefs of our childhood. Insecurity is a problem that demands a clear, intelligent and complete solution. Jaemin is a dynamic speaker who skilfully blends a lifetime of experience in leadership and coaching with his passion for human behavioural science and peak performance. His pragmatic and direct approach to vulnerable subjects about mental health and wellbeing are a breath of fresh air and provide rare ‘cut through the noise' conversation. Jaemin's wholeheartedness around his life's purpose means he embodies his message in a way that is rare in the personal development industry today. This is clearly what he was born to do. With over 15,000 coaching hours under his belt, he is able to draw from a deep and rich source of lived experience, helping ambitious people improve the quality of their life in the areas that matter most. Jaemin is the author of 4 books: - Unhindered. The 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity - Leverage. How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve - Elegantly simple solutions to complex people problems - The One Minute Coach. 356 thought provoking insights to start your day. Jaemin is the founder of The Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear, and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognized as one of Australia's best life coaches and a leading voice globally on the subject of personal insecurity. https://jaeminfrazer.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jaeminfrazer https://www.facebook.com/jaeminfrazerofficial https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaeminfrazer/ https://twitter.com/JaeminFrazer ***** The Kris and Kristine Show ***** http://www.krisandkristineshow.com https://www.kristinesmithdesigns.com K2 RADIO: https://live365.com/station/K2-RADIO-a04551 Email: krisandkristinepodcast@gmail.com Voice Mail: https://www.speakpipe.com/KrisandKristineShow Twitter: https://twitter.com/k2showsandiego Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thek2showsandiego/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/k2showsandiego Patreon: www.patreon.com/thekrisandkristineshow

Host Jeremy C. Park talks with Jaemin Frazer, renowned life coach, TedX speaker and author, who shares some of lessons from his book, "Unhindered: The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity," and gives a teaser on his upcoming release, "Leverage: How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve." During the interview, Jaemin talks about his background and what led him to write "Unhindered," then shares some of his personal takeaways, including the power of having a "Guide" in your life, who is not emotionally attached but willing to push you to become the hero of your own story. Jaemin Frazer is a TedX speaker, author of multiple books and widely regarded as one of Australia's best life coaches. He is the founder of the Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders and business owners eradicate insecurity to improve their lives. Jaemin is the voice behind the popular "One Minute Coach" radio segment heard by over 750,000 listeners daily. He is the author of "The One Minute Coach," "Unhindered: The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity," and "Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems." His newest book, "Leverage: How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve," will be released in the Fall of 2022.Visit https://jaeminfrazer.com/ to learn more.

‘Don't change the people you love' may be the single worst piece of relationship advice ever given. The stark reality is that if you don't find a way to change those you love, there's a high chance your needs will notbe met. JAEMIN FRAZER is the founder of the Insecurity Project and specialises in helping entrepreneurs, leaders and business owners eradicate insecurity to improve their lives personally and professionally.

In relationships, it's normal to want the best for each other, and to want to improve things, but most people would say it's not okay to ask your partner to change. Jaemin Frazer, author of Leverage, thinks that 'Don't change the people you love' is the worst advice ever given. Jaemin joins Cam and Ali in the bathroom to unpack this idea, and how we can facilitate better relationships in our lives. LINKS  Buy Jaemin's book Leveragehttps://jaeminfrazer.com/leverage. Find out more about Jaemin on his website https://jaeminfrazer.com/. Follow Jaemin Frazer on Instagram @jaeminfrazer. Follow Cam on Instagram @camerondaddo.  Follow Ali on Instagram @alidaddo.  Follow Nova Podcasts @novapodcastsofficial.  Got a question for Cam & Ali? You can email them atseparatebathrooms@novapodcasts.com.au.  CREDITS  Hosts: Cameron Daddo and Alison Brahe-Daddo.  Guest: Jaemin Frazer Managing Producer: Elle Beattie.  Producer and Editor: Amy Kimball.  Find more great podcasts like this at novapodcasts.com.au.  Separate Bathrooms would like to acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora nation, the First Peoples of the land on which we work. We acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded, and recognise their enduring connections to country, knowledge and stories. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all First Nations people listening.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Host Jeremy C. Park talks with Jaemin Frazer, renowned life coach, TedX speaker and author, who shares some of lessons from his book, "Unhindered: The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity," and gives a teaser on his upcoming release, "Leverage: How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve." During the interview, Jaemin talks about his background and what led him to write "Unhindered," then shares some of his personal takeaways, including the power of having a "Guide" in your life, who is not emotionally attached but willing to push you to become the hero of your own story. Jaemin Frazer is a TedX speaker, author of multiple books and widely regarded as one of Australia's best life coaches. He is the founder of the Insecurity Project and specializes in helping entrepreneurs, leaders and business owners eradicate insecurity to improve their lives. Jaemin is the voice behind the popular "One Minute Coach" radio segment heard by over 750,000 listeners daily. He is the author of "The One Minute Coach," "Unhindered: The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity," and "Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems." His newest book, "Leverage: How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve," will be released in the Fall of 2022.Visit https://jaeminfrazer.com/ to learn more.

Let's talk about insecurity. That niggling feeling we're not good enough; at work, in relationships, friendships. Jaemin Frazer is an author and life coach who wants us all to see how normal it is to be insecure – how it could even be a good thing. Let’s unpack some of Jaemin's tips to help you understand your insecurity, and even make it work in your favour. LINKS Read ‘Unhindered: The Seven Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity’ by Jaemin Frazer. Follow @jaeminfrazer on Instagram. Follow The Space on Instagram @thespace_podcast. Follow Nova Podcasts on Instagram @novapodcastsofficial. CREDITS Host: Casey Donovan @caseydonovan88.Writer: Amy Molloy @amymolloy.Executive Producer: Elise Cooper.Editor: Adrian Walton. Listen to more great podcasts at novapodcasts.com.au.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Most people experience insecurities in some shape or form throughout their personal and professional lives.  Insecurities can prove to be a serious roadblock to progression if left unaddressed and given … Read More The post 96. Jaemin Frazer | From broke coach to $250k revenue (in less than 25 hours/week!) appeared first on Key Person of Influence.

Most people experience insecurities in some shape or form throughout their personal and professional lives.  Insecurities can prove to be a serious roadblock to progression if left unaddressed and given … Read More The post 96. Jaemin Frazer | From broke coach to $250k revenue (in less than 25 hours/week!) appeared first on Key Person of Influence.

Jaemin Frazer believes the biggest blocker to our success is failing to look at our insecurities. The self-titled 'insecurity coach and author of The One Minute Coach shares why you need to face your failings and insecurities head-on if you want to get ahead.

Jaemin Frazer believes the biggest blocker to our success is failing to look at our insecurities. The self-titled 'insecurity coach and author of The One Minute Coach shares why you need to face your failings and insecurities head-on if you want to get ahead.

On this episode of the active CEO Podcast, Craig Johns speaks with Jaemin Frazer unhindered leadership, the impact of overcoming insecurities on performance and the 7 essential practices of overcoming insecurities. We also dive into removing empathy as a coach, trust the process, what we can learn from Jacinda Ardern as a secure leader and the impact Tim Ferriss has had on his approach to life.

Insecurity coach Jaemin Frazer believes it's our uncertainty and fear about the people we really are that impedes our success in all areas of life and business. He says challenging these unhelpful beliefs will create a transformational shift towards success.

In this episode of the podcast, editor Lucy Kippist speaks with Insecurity coach, Jaemin Frazer about how (and why) we can core beliefs and the impact that has on our business.

Insecurity left unaddressed causes you to show up at your worst where it matters most. Entrepreneurs, business owners, leaders and those with skin in the game cannot afford to be internally limited by the fear of not being good enough. In this Business Conversations podcast, TEDx speaker and coach Jaemin Frazer joins me to explore how to apply a framework to overcome insecurity. Key areas of the podcast include •What is insecurity •Why is it a problem for those in business •How the insecurity problem is solved Jaemin Frazer is an author, TEDx speaker and coach. He is the founder of the Insecurity Project and specialises in helping entrepreneurs eradicate insecurity so they can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear and self-limiting beliefs. He is widely recognised as one of Australia's leading life coaches and one of the leading voices globally in dealing with personal insecurity. Each week I'm joined by a new guest to dive into the many facets of business. Subscribe to my podcast here to join the Business Conversation: https://www.cliveenever.com.au/business-conversations/

It is common for new podcasters to doubt themselves and feel insecure about what they can deliver. Because of this, they end up making a podcast that shows what they think listeners want rather than what they want to share. They add to the noise instead of giving out new information to their listeners. In this episode, Jaemin Frazer shares his insights about why people feel like they are not good enough. He also talks about the seven essential practices in overcoming insecurity. We also discuss how to stay true to yourself and more. To all the listeners, especially if you are dealing with insecurity, tune in, sit back, and enjoy the show. About Our Guest: Jaemin Frazer is known as Australia’s best life coach. He founded The Insecurity Project and wrote Elegantly Simple Solutions to Complex People Problems and a new book, Deep Change. He is the voice of One Minute Coach, a popular radio segment featured on stations all around Australia. Jaemin also hosts a podcast where he shares ways people can solve insecurity in their own lives. He aims to help leaders, entrepreneurs, and people with ambitions to overcome insecurity and rid them of their doubts, fears, and self-limiting beliefs. How to Deal With Insecurity in PodcastingHow Does Insecurity Affect Podcasters? People seek validation and acceptance to meet their need to feel significant. They end up creating content based on what others care about, rather than what they want to share. Then, they fight against themselves to try and get the best results. Social media amplifies their insecurity even more because of its instant feedback technology. Insecurity can sometimes help people achieve things; however, this type of motivation often leads to feeling as empty as before. Seven Essential Practices in Overcoming Insecurity Step into the light and name your problem. Be 100% responsible for what is happening to you. Stack the pain and feel it. Have a compelling vision for your life. Get help from someone who doesn’t care about you. Be the hero. Rewrite the story. Dealing with Haters and Bad Reviews and Comments Read the bad comments. Don’t take anything personally. Evaluate both the good and bad comments to understand what their goal is. Surround yourself with people who would give you some good quality and honest feedback. Use constructive feedback to improve. Staying True to Your Cause Trust your judgment and opinions. Be aware of your imperfections. Know and follow what you want. Learn more about how to deal with your insecurity at Jaemin Frazer’s The Insecurity Project. Listen to Jaemin’s podcast. Get your copy of The 7 Essential Practices for Overcoming Insecurity here. Learn more about Charley Valher and Valher Media Visit Charley’s The Parenting Co website.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode Robert Gerrish speaks to life coach Jaemin Frazer about overcoming insecurity.